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ja3yun · 8 months ago

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Melting Point | P.SH | Ch.3

brother's rival!sunghoon x fem!reader warnings: angst, smut (mdni), oral (f. rec), protected sex, fingering, multiple orgasms, cum eating, it's the dirtiest smut I've written, sexual harassment**, violence, mentions of blood, anything else lmk! ch.3 synopsis: to get sunghoon off your mind, your friends suggest tagging along to a party, but things don't go as planned and you're driven closer to sunghoon than ever before. wc: 16.8k previous | masterlist | next a/n: hi! i have decided to give you this all early since i finished the editing early. it's actually my birthday tomorrow so i won't have time to finalise it, please take this as my gift to you! thank you for the love on the last few chapters, it means so much that you are enjoying it, and as always, comments, likes, and feedback are always appreciated! **the sexual harassment scene is small but as it can make people uncomfortable, i have put <*> before and after the scene! (this is also the only scene in the whole fic like this just fyi!) yn explains what happened with little detail later on so you won't miss anything by skipping it!

For the past week, you've been engulfed in misery. It's as though you're trapped in a downward spiral, confined to your bed while your hair tangles into knots.

A massive part of your despair was the aching in your chest from pondering what could have been, the unknown of if you ended something that could have bloomed into something wonderful. You had never felt like this before, not through any of your situationships or even that one failed relationship when you were 16 and thought they were the one.

Adding to your distress is the burden of deceiving your brother about the situation. Minhee came to check in on you every day to make sure you were okay. Of course, you didn’t tell him you were going through emotional turmoil, simply portraying the act of a sickly Victorian child who was too poor to leave the bed. He bought it at the beginning but now you can see him starting to question your sneeze’s authenticity.

Still, he was there looking after you, bringing you your favourite Lucozade and going all away across town for that vegetable soup you loved. Why did he have to be so nice?

Currently, your room has been infiltrated by Allen and Rina. You haven’t messaged them or attended Uni since last Thursday and Rina being the overdramatic friend she is, came barging into your room, wearing all black to ‘mourn the time lost between you’. She wasn’t exactly enthralled by your reasoning for the lack of communication.

"So you're telling me," she exclaimed, flinging herself onto your bed, "that you, my best, most cherished friend, couldn't even bother to message me because of some guy?" her words hit you like a slap, "And not just any guy, but one you've barely spent, what, nine hours with?"

Your cheeks burn with embarrassment as her words ring true; you have been wallowing over someone you hardly know, "So what if you slept with him? He's just a man, Y/N. Men are easily replaceable!" Allen shoots his girlfriend a sceptical glance, but she disregards him entirely.

You can't argue with her logic; you know how absurd it must sound to everyone else, "It's not just him, Rina," you murmur, feeling the weight of your emotions pressing down on you, "it's Minhee too."

"Minhee's always been protective of you, especially when it comes to your flings," Rina interjects, her tone softened slightly, "Allen, back me up on this." Her boyfriend hesitates for a moment before reluctantly nodding in agreement, "She has got a point, Y/N," he admits, shrugging apologetically.

Burying your head into your hands you groan loudly, almost verging on a scream, “You guys didn’t see him when he thought I only got a lift from him, he was all like ‘If you two are dating I’ll tear him limb from limb’ it was so scary,” you recount the scene from last week with Minhee, though judging by their reactions, you realize you're failing to convey just how serious he appeared, "He sees Sunghoon as his arch-nemesis! And I slept with him! And I want to do it again!"

“Y/N, babe, it is not that fucking serious he isn’t Batman and Sunghoon isn’t Penguin.”

"Wait, isn't Batman's arch-rival the Joker?" Allen interjects, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Allen, really? Now's not the time for comic book trivia," Rina scolds, shaking her head. "But my point remains," she continues, sitting up and clasping your hands in hers, "I promise you, Minhee won't lose it just because you're involved with Sunghoon." You're at a loss for words, partly because she makes a valid point about Minhee's dramatic tendencies, and if Rina is calling you out for being dramatic, you know it must be true.

Allen walks over to you and sits on the floor beside your bed, placing a hand on your knee “I think the best thing for you, Y/N, is just to leave it. Don’t get involved between them, just-”

“Find someone else!” Rina shouts, pouncing up like a tiger ready to attack, “Baby, you’re a genius! Y/N, we need to find you some at the party tonight!” As quick as a flash, she’s in your wardrobe looking for an outfit, flinging stuff behind her to clear her view, “You need something so diabolically sexy it’ll have every man’s dick standing to attention.” Your best friend always had a way of describing things.

Looking down at Allen you see his sorry expression but you don’t mind, Rina has always been like this since you were little, always full of life and vibrant. She has been your best friend since she asked you to eat a worm in primary 2 to enter her secret club, one eaten worm, and a trip to the medical room because you vomited said worm right back up later, you were inseparable. You weren’t a quiet person but with her around you might as well have been a mouse next to a lion, and you loved her for it.

"What party?" you inquire, looking at the chaos in your room that you'll inevitably have to clean up later. "I haven't heard of any parties happening on campus tonight." Being Rina's best friend definitely had its perks, as her popularity ensured invitations to every cliche social event.

"There's a party on the other side of town at Yeonjun's house, and all the hottest hockey players are going to be there," Rina announces with excitement, twirling around as she brandishes an ivory white cami dress with ruffled detailing on the straps and bust. How did she even find that? The last time you wore it was three years ago to your brother's 17th birthday party.

"Rina, I wore that when I was 16. It's not going to fit anymore. Bodies change, you know, and thankfully, my boobs have gotten bigger since then," you protest, trying to reason with her.

Blowing out air, Rina throws it at you with force whacking you in the face with it, “Squeeze into it. We’re going and you’re wearing that with those nice black Naked Wolfe dupes you got from Pretty Little Thing.” With no room to argue you fold it up in your arms.

“Since when did we go to Choi's parties? Didn’t he reject you and you swore to never to even breathe the same air again?” Rina had the biggest crush on Yeonjun but when she asked him to take her on a date he flat out said no and with zero explanation. Rina doesn’t take no for an answer so when it was a brutal rejection like that, she was on the warpath to make him regret it, it got so bad you had to physically stop her from signing him up to the Army.

Still rifling through your closet, Rina finds the boots and a matching leather jacket. "Yeah, well, I've matured," she quips with a mischievous grin.

“She’s going to use me to make it clear that she’s over him, which is right isn’t it babe, you’re over him.” Bless Allen, Rina did truly love him and there wasn’t a more perfect fit for her, but even he knew she couldn’t let a grudge go. Nodding her head she agrees, shining a wide grin to her very understanding and loving boyfriend.

One day you’ll find someone like Allen.

Rina gives you a time limit of 2 hours to get ready as she runs home with Allen to get changed herself. Parties are great, they’re fun and you can forget everything for a night, get drunk, and make terrible decisions to mask the ones you’ve already made. You haven’t been to any parties other side of town so this is the one time to undoubtedly let loose and embarrass yourself. It was in Sunghoon’s territory though, but he never goes to parties so you’re safe from the awkwardness of bumping into him.

Right on time, Rina and Allen are outside in a Lyft, the driver honking you down. You do one last check of your hair and makeup which you did to match the weird Bride of Chucky aesthetic Rina has set out, it’s not anything amazing, just some eyeliner and straight hair but you do look good.

“You can do this Y/N.” Whispering encouragement to yourself before you run downstairs. Minhee was out with friends and your mum was off galovanting somewhere, so you didn’t have to worry about them asking why you’re suddenly fit as a fiddle.

Tonight you have one job - to forget about Sunghoon and let your mind be free of any thoughts.

____

Arriving at the party, it’s already kind of busy, enough people that you have to weave your way through the hallway and into the living area which has now become overrun with loud Uni students. Everyone dresses up so nicely in this part of the city, it’s like you walked straight into Paris with how glamorous everyone looks. It makes you feel a little inferior but that can change with a few double vodkas and too many tequila roses.

Yeonjun's shared house is a bit chaotic but undeniably spacious, which means it takes you a bit of time to locate the booze amidst the clutter. The occupiers of the house, all members of the Albion Hockey Team, are part of the reason Sunghoon ended up skating at Belmore, and by extension, part of the reason you're now on a mission to drink their place dry.

As you step into the kitchen to pour yourself something, Rina beats you to it, already lining up some plastic neon shot glasses.

Looking around, you see a few potential boys you could harmlessly flirt with, none of them as pretty as Sunghoon, but no one could ever be, you haven’t seen anyone as ethereal as him since you were a little 7-year-old girl.

But tonight isn’t about him, well it is, but it’s about forgetting how perfectly his hair falls on his face, or how his eyebrows are so gorgeously thick and dark, and those freckles that are scattered on his face in all the right places are just perfect to kiss, and how his cock was the only one that made you feel satisfied, and ho-

“See anyone you like?” Rina’s voice thankfully rips you from your thoughts, pushing a shot into one of your hands and a pint glass of something in the other. Hurriedly, you down your shot and chase it with what now you know is a quadruple vodka and orange Breezer; the measurements Rina poured were always lethal like Majorca party strip-type measurements. Allen is close behind her, clinging to her just like she loves her men to do, but he is looking around with you, assessing from a man’s perspective.

Pointing sneakily to one guy with puppy dog eyes, you say to Rina, “He looks good and dependable, and his lips are nice.”

“Y/N, who the fuck cares about ‘dependable’ you are looking for someone to fuck the name Sunghoon out of your brain.” Rina declares bluntly, earning a pinch from Allen's warning grip as he shoots her a look, silently urging her to be more supportive in your time of need. "Okay, okay, how about we just get drunk and see who comes up to you? In that outfit, you'll have them lining up," she amends, holding her cup out for cheers. Allen nods in agreement, joining in the toast.

Not even an hour later, you’ve already misplaced your jacket and the dress you had to suck yourself into is hugging you tightly as your stomach bloats from how much alcohol you’ve consumed in a short amount of time. Despite your typically high tolerance, you find yourself more intoxicated than ever, swaying to the music blaring from various Alexas scattered throughout the house. The party has swelled in size, with unfamiliar faces outnumbering the familiar ones. Yet, you can't shake the feeling of being watched, though you can't pinpoint the source.

With a cup in your hand, you stretch up and move your hips to the music but it isn’t on time, you might as well be playing one of those ‘Guess who isn’t listening to the same music’ games, but you don’t care.

A hand runs itself down your back, stopping just above your ass but you don’t stop dancing. The mystery body starts to move along with you, his groyne making its way to your backside and pressing it in so you unconsciously grind on it. You’re so far gone you don’t register it until his breath is on your neck. Turning around, you meet a set of prowling eyes that instils uneasiness.

‘This is your chance to forget about Sunghoon though’ you argue with yourself. It’s not the right call and you know it but if you disregarded the weird feeling you got from him, he was genuinely handsome, tall and burley, clearly on the hockey team, and if romance books taught you anything it’s that hockey players could fuck really good.

“Hey," he smirks, his arms encircling you as his hands find their way to your rear, giving it a firm squeeze, "You look too sexy to be on your own. Who did you come with? A boyfriend?" His question seems calculated, an attempt to gauge your receptiveness, though you doubt the presence of a boyfriend would deter him in the slightest.

“I came with friends,” You try your best to play along. Rina was right, all you have to do is have a good fuck and you’ll forget about Sunghoon, not feel guilty about lying to Minhee, and everything should sort itself out…right?

Clearly, your answer pleased him because the lack of mention of a boyfriend had him giving your butt a harsh squeeze, “Why don’t you dance with me then, since they’ve ditched you.” He was a sleaze, that much was obvious but it was just a fuck at the end of the day, a one-night thing to prove that any man can give you what Sunghoon can.

So you throw caution to the wind and dance with him, trying to enjoy the way his hands are groping all over your body. He doesn’t get girls outside of parties because no man who knows how to feel a woman would be grabbing like this but those tequila roses are doing a great job at helping you not give a flying fuck right now.

Rina spots you when she comes hand in hand with Allen into the makeshift dance area and looks a little worried but you wave her off, signalling to her that you’re fine. Accepting your dismissal, she grabs Allen and takes him somewhere low-key.

<*>

Roughly 20 minutes later, the boy before you leans down, his lips on your ear, “Let’s go upstairs.” His breath blowing into your ear makes you cringe but nod and follow him as he practically drags you up the carpeted staircase and into the first empty room he finds. It doesn’t take long before his body pins you to the wall, his hands sliding up your 2 sizes too small dress already trying to get your underwear off. He wasn’t kind, or gentle, it was rough and barbarian.

Once he rids you of your pants, leaving them pooled around your ankles, he slides his finger up to your entrance, not even waiting before plunging into you mercilessly, “I’m going to have so much fun with you.” His voice sends a shiver up your spine, and not in a good way. Was this such a good idea? This isn’t what you imagined.

As he continues his attack on your hole you realise you aren’t getting any pleasure from this at all, in fact, it’s making you miss Sunghoon more. He was so attentive and caring about making you feel good and this guy is just fingering you to make sure his cock will fit. He didn’t need to bother opening you up if the imprint of him you felt when dancing was anything to go by.

The guy isn’t even kissing you, just staring at the wall behind him trying to make this quick. You need to stop this, you don’t feel good being here with him, “Uhm, I think my friends are shouting for me.” It was a pathetic excuse but hopefully, he would get the message and get off of you.

"I didn't hear anything," he dismisses, adding a second finger and increasing the pressure, causing discomfort akin to a carpet burn. His indifference only adds to your unease, and when you hear him unzipping his trousers, panic sets in.

You have mere seconds to escape this horrifying scenario. Your mind races through options, but it's clear asking him nicely won't work. With a surge of desperation, you attempt to push him away, pleading, "Really, I should go."

"Don't be a fucking tease. I put in the work," he growls, moving his weight to crush you even tighter against the wall, making escape impossible. Regret floods your mind as you realise you should have trusted your instincts about him. You should have listened to your gut, you knew he was horrible and yet you didn’t listen. A woman’s instinct is always right so why did you betray yours now?

The gears are turning in your head. Think. Your teary eyes widen and you gasp inward, doing all you can do in the situation - kick him in the balls. In a split second, you act on impulse and deliver a stinging knee to his exposed groyne. The contact sends him flying to the ground in agony.

Seizing the opportunity, you hastily adjust your underwear and flee the room, your heart racing with adrenaline and revulsion at what nearly happened.

<*>

Feeling icky and in desperate need to go home, you look for two things, Rina and your jacket; if you find your jacket first, you can phone Rina and get the fuck out of here.

Roaming around the house you see the familiar leather jacket hanging on the back of a dining room chair, all your belongings still there, thank the heavens. Unlocking your phone you dial Rina’s number but she doesn’t answer, she’s nowhere to be found in this massive place because she’s probably sucking off Allen somewhere. Shit.

As you frantically flip through your contacts, your thumb hesitates over Minhee's name. If you called him, you would never hear the end of it and it wouldn’t just be Sunghoon he would forbid you from seeing but literally any of the outside world that wasn’t school or the rink. But desperate times call for desperate measures so you scurry outside into the cold, trying to sober up a little before phoning him to pick you up.

But there's no answer from Minhee. He's probably out celebrating Jungmo's birthday with his friends, too intoxicated to even consider coming to your aid. Why did you even entertain the thought? Now he'll worry because he missed your call, you realise with a pang of guilt.

Crafting a flimsy excuse in a text message, you attempt to play it off as a casual check-in, hoping to alleviate any concern he might have.

A bolt of panic jolts through your back as you hear the guy from earlier’s voice bellowing down the stairs, calling you every name under the sun. If he found you, you don’t know what he would do, so you hide behind a group of people in the front garden, trying to blend in. Shakily, you scroll through your apps trying to find any taxi service that would come ASAP, but of course, everyone and their gran is trying to get home so as you try to book a ride the max wait time is 40 minutes.

Crumbling to the ground you sob, you just want to get away from here, you want Rina or Allen to come to find you, you want to feel safe again. You want Sunghoon.

Sunghoon. He lives on this side of town. Could you have the gall to ask him to come rescue you after you basically left him in the dust? You stand up, fixing your hair and dress, and wiping your tears away as if he can see you and hit call, “This is a bad idea, Y/N. He won’t eve-”

“Hello?” He picked up within 2 rings, not even long enough to finish your inner monologue.

Hearing his voice come through the phone makes your heart skip, you haven’t heard or seen him in a week but you would think it was years the way you choke up, “Y/N, It’s late. What do you want?”

“S-sorry I-,” You can’t get the sentence out before bawling to him on the phone, all the tears you’ve held in now overflowing tenfold. All the pent-up anguish and fear pour out, overwhelming you as you cling to the lifeline of Sunghoon's voice on the other end of the line. How can you possibly explain this to him? Even in your sober state, you doubt you could articulate the events of the evening - the desperation to forget him, the reckless decisions made in the name of distraction, the groping, it all sounds so foolish and shameful.

“Y/N? What’s wrong? Talk to me.” His voice is flooded with concern and you hear him shuffle on the other end, “Sweets, please?” he drags out the please, begging you to cooperate with him. What you don’t know is he’s putting on trousers as you cry, ready to come get you before you even have the chance to ask him, “Are you out? Is that music?”

“I’m at Yeonjun’s party.” He tenses, feeling even more worried for you than before. He knows what that crew is like and if you, a well-assured girl who can most definitely handle herself is crying, that means something bad has happened, "I'm sorry, Hoonie. I shouldn't have called. It's just... the taxis are all too far away, and I can't find Rina, and I just really need to go home," you confess in a rush, the words tumbling out in a jumble of desperation and regret.

"I'm coming to get you. Stay there, and don't talk to anyone," Sunghoon commands, his voice firm with determination. Both of you feel the same palpitations of fear and concern, the only remedy being Sunghoon's swift arrival by your side. With a swift motion, he throws on his black hoodie and bolts out the door of his flat, ignoring his flatmate's bewildered inquiries. There's no time to waste - he needs to reach you as quickly as possible.

Sitting beside a couple making out, you lift your knees and cross your arms, tucking your face into the space you’ve created. How could you be so stupid? You’ve just created a bigger mess than this had to be.

Why couldn't you have just followed Allen's advice and left it alone? No grand plan to get over Sunghoon, just accepting the choice you made and moving on. Sure, you'd be miserable, but at least you wouldn't be freezing outside a house party in an unfamiliar side of town, surrounded by strangers. The laughter of partygoers echoes around you as you cry, feeling utterly exposed and humiliated. Every approaching figure sends a shiver of fear down your spine in case it’s him, causing you to recoil further into yourself.

Your mind is doing that thing that all women do in these situations and blaming yourself for what happened, it’s tricking you into thinking you asked for it because you followed him, but you didn’t know it was going to be like that, so degrading. You feel so weak, like a damsel in distress, this wasn’t you. Maybe you should have just walked home and dealt with it on your own.

There’s an engine in the distance and you pray to anyone that it’s Sunghoon. Headlights shine through the street and the car comes to a halt, tyres screeching as it emergency brakes. Looking up you see the 6-foot-tall boy you’ve been dying to see since last Thursday. Instantly, your body relaxes knowing you’re almost safe.

Sunghoon slams the door shut and charges up to the door, he almost walks into the party but you squeak out his name loud enough he notices you, “Y/N.” The way he says your name is like he’s both relieved and desolate.

Dropping down to his knees, Sunghoon pulls you closer, his touch gentle as he softly rubs your arms to keep you warm. It's clear from your dishevelled state that you're as drunk as a skunk.

He asks what happened, concern etched into every line of his face, but you can't find the strength to articulate it. Instead, you shake your head, tears streaming down your cheeks unabated.

The vulnerability in your body language speaks volumes, but Sunghoon needs to know the specifics, "Please, tell me," he implores, his voice tinged with urgency and worry.

"This guy," you begin, wiping away tears as you struggle to compose yourself, "I was dancing, and he said we should go upstairs, so I did, and he..." A sob interrupts your explanation, tearing through your chest and escaping into the night air. You instinctively cover your mouth, as if trying to contain the anguish within.

After a few moments, you regain some semblance of composure and continue your slurred account. "He was touching me, which was fine at first, and then I didn't want him to anymore, and he..." The words catch in your throat, rendering you unable to finish the sentence.

Sunghoon's jaw clenches with restrained anger as he pieces it together, "Did he..." His voice trails off, the unspoken question hanging heavily between you. He doesn’t want to ask in fear of what your answer will be.

"No, I got out of there before he could," you assure him, relief evident in your voice.

Sunghoon's head falls onto your knees, relief washing over him knowing you escaped further harm, but anger simmers just beneath the surface. He wanted to commit every crime against this pervert because how dare he think he had any right to do that?

Sunghoon lifts his head back up, his eyes meeting yours and it breaks you a little because you basically just confessed to nearly fucking another man.

"You did so good, Sweets, getting away and calling me. So fucking good," he praises, his arms enveloping you in a tight embrace, offering whatever comfort he can summon. He knows that a mere hug won't erase the turmoil raging within you, but it's a start, "I'm so proud of you," he murmurs, his words a balm to your wounded soul, eliciting even more tears from you as you allow yourself to be held tightly.

The smell of him and the softness of his hoodie was all the feeling you needed earlier, that safety you begged for. Sunghoon strokes your back, laying a few kisses atop your head between intervals of his whispered reassuring words.

Leaning back to look at you, he takes his right thumb and wipes your tears away, “Let me get you out of here.” He wanted to ransack the party for the bastard that made you cry like this, but he fights himself against it, choosing to focus on you and your needs rather than his want to kick fuck out of that guy.

“Stand up for me, Sweets.” He holds you steady while you find your footing on the grass. Once he knows you’re okay and not going to drunkenly collapse back down, he fastens up your leather jacket and wraps an arm around your shoulder, guiding you to the safety of his car.

Just as he has calmed you down and you’re halfway down the front path, a venomous voice invades your ears and you tense under Sunghoon’s touch, giving him every indication of who it could be.

“There you are, gorgeous. Sorry, lad, this one’s taken.” He goes to grab you but Sunghoon blocks him and pushes him back, holding himself back from battering his lights out.

In shock, the guy glances at Sunghoon, his expression morphing into a mixture of disbelief and indignation. "Nah, this fucking cock tease owes me," he retorts, his tone dripping with contempt.

A heavy silence descends upon the scene as a crowd begins to emerge from the party, their murmurs mixing with the tension in the air. You catch snippets of conversation, people questioning Sunghoon's presence at a Choi party, knowing full well the history between him and Yeonjun.

Sunghoon and Yeonjun have had beef since they were in 3rd Year of High School after the ice skater found out Yeonjun snuck weed into his bag for a ‘joke’ and it consequently got him suspended from Skating until he proved himself through drug tests. It's a deep-seated grudge that neither of them has forgotten. Since then, he hasn’t stepped foot near Yeonjun or any of his friends.

Sunghoon steps up to the guy, staring him down. Your perpetrator might be built but Sunghoon is tall and way more intimidating, everyone can see that, “Say that again.” "Say that again," Sunghoon challenges, his voice laced with a quiet intensity, silently daring the guy to escalate the situation further. It's a dangerous game, and Sunghoon is teetering on the edge, desperate for an excuse to unleash his pent-up fury upon the guy who dared to harm you.

“That bitch is a fu-”

The garden erupts into chaos as Sunghoon's fist connects with the boy's face, the impact echoing through the air like a gunshot. The crowd gasps in shock, some scrambling to film the fight while others recoil in horror. With each blow, Sunghoon's rage intensifies, his fists raining down on his target with unrelenting force. There is no thought in his mind, only a primal instinct to protect you at all costs.

Blood gushes from the boy's nose and mouth, staining the grass crimson as he struggles to breathe due to the onslaught. He splurts out blood but that doesn’t stop Sunghoon as he shows no mercy, his relentless assault fueled by a surge of adrenaline coursing through his veins. The sheer power behind his punches threatens to shatter bones, each strike delivering a punishing blow that leaves his opponent battered and broken. You swear you hear cracks coming from the boy’s nose and jaw.

Rina and Allen run out to the commotion and watch as you try to stop him, “Hoonie, stop!” You scream as you stand still, not daring to get in the middle of it out of fear of catching a hit. Your words don’t stop him though, only making him angrier because he can hear the bubble in your throat from your tears. The boy below starts to appeal with him to stop too, not sure how much more he can take.

Pushing him forward, Rina signals for Allen to help but he’s also too scared to move, mimicking your ceased state but eventually she pushes him so hard he ends up in it anyway, grabbing Sunghoon by his hoodie to get him off. The helpful boy almost gets an elbow to the face but he swerves it.

“Don’t you dare fucking touch my girl again,” Sunghoon physically spits on him, pushing Allen off in the process.

My girl.

The words make your heart pound, even more than it already is due to the booze. Right now you should be terrified because Sunghoon just displayed about 10 red flags, but why are you not scared at all? He got so angry he nearly punched a man to death and you still feel completely safe even just being around him. Maybe it’s the fact that he’ll protect you so willingly.

Sunghoon shakes the blood from his hand, wiping some of it on his sweatpants before he finally faces you again, “Y/N…” He’s filled with anxiety that you’re petrified of him, of this protective side that even he didn’t know he possessed, “I-” He doesn’t get to finish his sentence before you pull him into a hug, your face nuzzling into his heaving chest. A mixture of missing him and feeling grateful for his act causes you to squeeze him so tight he can’t breathe.

Sunghoon hesitates for a moment before returning the embrace, holding you close, his heart pounding against yours in rhythm. Despite everything, in this moment, you find comfort in each other's arms, a silent understanding passing between you that transcends words.

He places a side kiss on your temple and looks at you, “I’ll take you to mine.”

“No, you won’t, are you crazy?” Rina’s voice pierces through the tense atmosphere, making you stumble back, but Sunghoon is there to catch you, his protective grip reassuring, “I am not letting my best friend go home with a psychopath.”

He scoffs, facing her with a hard expression and one arm still holding onto you, “Best friend? You mean the best friend you couldn’t even be bothered to stick with because you were fucking your shrimp of a boyfriend?”

Pinching him, you shake your head, you don’t want him to start bad-mouthing your friends just because he’s angry, it’s not their fault. He whispers a ‘sorry’, his bloody hand stroking the last of your tears away before he turns back to Rina, tone firm, “I am taking her home and you are going to cover for her if her family asks where she is in the morning, got it?” Without waiting for their response, he guides you towards his car, planting another kiss on your head before opening the door for you.

As he shuts the door behind you, he glances back at the scene he left behind with a small smirk, feeling a sense of vindication from getting a few hits against one of Yeonjun's lackeys. He gets in the driver's seat, putting the heating on and starting the car.

“I’m sorry, Sunghoon.” You mumble, appreciating the heat that's blowing your way as you start to get sleepy from all the adrenaline leaving you. He buckles your seatbelt for you, untwisting it for your comfort.

“Why are you apologising?” His tone is firm yet gentle, and you can sense the protectiveness in his words.

“For phoning you, for getting you into that mess, it’s my fault,” you explain, feeling the weight of responsibility heavy on your shoulders.

“Don’t,” Sunghoon interrupts, his grip on the steering wheel tightening, “Don’t apologise for any of this, none of this is your fault.”

Regaining some composure, he softly puts his hand on your thigh but you jump slightly, memories from the previous guy coming to the forefront of your brain. The reaction you have only fuels Sunghoon’s anger back up but before he gets back out of the car and finishes the job, he takes his hand off you and drives back to his place. Luckily he lives only 10 minutes away and with the roads being so quiet at this time, he blazes through it in 6 minutes.

In that small amount of time, you pass out, snoring slightly, the noise making Sunghoon smile. You were so cute when you slept, so peaceful like you didn’t have one care in the world. He wanted that for you. Always.

Pulling up to the street he parks his car half on the pavement and turns the ignition off, being careful to not wake you.

The biggest challenge he’ll face is getting you up the stairs to the front door but he manages to carry you bridal style up and into the house. His two flatmates Jay and Jake are perched on the couch the way he left them earlier. The look on their faces drops when they see blood and a passed-out girl, “Is she okay?” Jake asks.

Sunghoon hushes them and keeps walking, “She’s fine, Lee Heosun isn’t though.” Leaving it at that, he walks into his room with you and lays you down on his bed. Your dress looks tight and uncomfortable so he picks around his room for some clothes to change you into but all he has is a Metallica shirt and some boxers in his drawer, everything else either needs to be washed or is his skating gear.

He lays the makeshift pyjamas on the bed before trying to take your dress off gently but you’re wriggling against him, unconsciously fighting him so you can keep sleeping, “Sweets we need to get you changed.” You grumble and shake your head, you’re incoherent but causing Sunghoon issues when you try to kick him away, seeking the deep release of sleep, “Work with me here, baby,” he exhales, finally getting the zip of your dress down.

After that, it was easy enough to strip you naked and slip you into his t-shirt. He did try to get you to put on the boxers but you had enough by then, rolling over onto his bed and getting comfy, your ass is hanging out. Normally, Sunghoon would be thinking something crude but all he is thinking about is how someone else touched you.

He promises to himself he won’t let that happen ever again.

“M’sorry, Hoonie.” you muffle into his pillow.

Tucking you into bed he kisses your forehead lightly, “Stop apologising, Sweets and go to sleep for me.”

Tapping your lips, you indicate you want a kiss, which makes Sunghoon hesitate. Eventually, he sighs, giving in to your request. “Just one, okay?” he concedes, leaning in to kiss you softly. The warmth of his lips against yours comforts you and him. He missed your lips the past week and he wouldn’t do without your kisses again.

“He told me not to see you.” You say forcing him to stay close to you, stealing smooches as you talk.

“Who did?” Sunghoon asks, brows furrowing.

“Minhee.”

Ah, it all makes so much more sense to him now. It wasn’t just your brain turning over and over in your head; Minhee had actually warned you to stay away.

Sunghoon kisses you longingly once more before pulling the covers up to your chin, sending you off to sleep.

_____

There has to be one of those cymbal clapping monkeys in your head because as you groggily sit up, all you feel is a pounding and ringing sensation. The last time you had a hangover this bad was last year at your birthday party when Rina came back to the table with 10 skittle bombs and 5 sambucas. The night was fun but the morning after was most definitely not.

It takes you some time to force your eyes open, expecting to see Rina’s room, but unless she heavily redecorated the complete opposite of her aesthetic in the past few weeks, it was safe to say you were not in Rina’s room. It’s strange because she always lets you crash at hers after a night out, it was an unspoken rule you both made so you could debrief the events of the night before and cringe every time you remembered some of the munters you kissed.

You rub your tired eyes to try and get a better scope of your surroundings but nothing about this room is familiar. Glancing around the walls you see posters of some random anime and Red Velvet, shelves filled with pictures of, and some shelves with all types of cologne and figurines displayed.

As you look down you see yourself dressed in only a t-shirt, no pants, no trousers - this cannot be good. Who did you speak with last night? If you were being honest, the whole night was a blur and the more you try to think the more your head hurt. The t-shirt smells familiar which is a good sign, as a matter of fact, the whole room smells familiar. It’s not overwhelmingly obvious but you could definitely place it.

Getting out of the comfortable bed you start to nosy around the person’s belongings like you were on an episode of Come Dine With Me, looking for any clue as to who the owner is.

The room is clean bar a few clothes and a gym bag that you have one-hundred percent seen before. Your best bet is to look at the photos splattered on the long mirror adjacent to the bed but when you look at it, the reflection of the wall behind you makes you spin around and observe.

The wall is filled with floating shelves covered in trophies and medals, an astronomical amount of awards for one person, kind of like Minhee has. The ironic thing is, you think this tiny room might hold more trophies than your brother’s double room dedicated to them.

Your steps slow as you approach a particularly large trophy, its gleaming surface catching the light. Your heart sinks as you read the nameplate, the realisation hitting you like a wave crashing against the shore.

No, no, no There is no way you are in his room..

Headache or not you need to start thinking about what ensued at that stupid party.

You got there, Rina handed you a few drinks, you took a few shots, danced with a few people, but what else? You don’t even remember seeing Sunghoon there so how the fuck are you in his bedroom and presumably in his shirt, or better yet, in only his shirt.

Cursing yourself was too polite a punishment because last night you made a promise to get over him by getting under someone and clearly that didn’t happen.

Oh no. You think to yourself as you start to wonder if he was the one you got under and you don’t even remember it. You grudge yourself because sober you wanted nothing more than to have sex with him again and now drunk you might have gotten the opportunity and forgot every single bit of it. She was not your best friend at the moment.

On the bright side, this was your chance to poke around his room and uncover any icks that could help you with your Sunghoon problem. You see a pair of boxers strewn on the floor and shove them on, trying to save yourself some dignity.

The trophies were magnificent. You knew he was the best but to see all his accomplishments displayed so blatantly like this struck you with awe. The years ranged from 2011 to now which just showcased how long he has been dedicated to the sport. You understand he’s been doing it since he was a kid, you got the privilege to watch him, but you didn’t get to see all his competitions - not the ones Minhee didn’t compete in at least.

Next to the last trophy is a picture of him, his dad, and his mum with what you assume is his first-ever award. He looked just how you remembered him, so cute and bright, the ice skating persona then was one far different than the ‘cocky’ one he has now. Back then he was branded as the nation's cutie pie and had every old woman trying to adopt him as their own, like how teenage girls adopt men in bands and claim them as their children.

You mourned the kid he used to be, only imagining his situation was the same as your brothers - grew up too fast with too much pressure.

Moving over to his desk you see his University books and a laptop with stickers he’s collected from random places. You don’t know a lot of them but see a few Sanrio stickers and smile, he is for sure Tuxedosam in human form.

There’s not a lot scandalous about the rest of the room which busted your mission. You could look through his drawers but you have to draw the line before it gets creepy.

There is, however, a bottle of water and some aspirin next to the bed which he must have left for you. Swallowing the physical pills, you now need to swallow the metaphorical ones and leave the room to face the boy you pied for a week.

A sick feeling bubbles in your tummy that could either be from the obscene amount of alcohol you drank or seeing him again. You did technically see him last night even if you don’t remember, but that makes the turning in your stomach worse because what did you do last night? Best case scenario? You didn’t embarrass yourself.

Hyping yourself up by shaking your shoulders, you open the door and head down the hall. By any miracle he won’t be there, you can put your shoes on and make a run for it. Sadly for you, when you see a broad back walking into the kitchen completely oblivious to your presence, you realise quickly you need to face this. Face Sunghoon.

“Hey,” Shooting around at the sound of your voice, Sunghoon’s eyes widen when he sees you like he wasn’t the one to carry you to bed and change you; it’s good to see you found the boxers he failed to fight on you last night.

“How are you feeling?” He doesn’t know how much you remember and he doesn’t know what to do if you don’t. How would he bring up anything that happened at the party without upsetting you all over again?

Sitting on a high stool at the island, you rest your head on one of your palms and close your eyes, “Fucking awful, my head has its own personal marching band,” you attempt to laugh at your analogy but it hurts too much, the strain on your head causes you to wince, “Did I, uh, did I call you last night?”

Shit, you don’t remember. Sunghoon physically stiffens because he doesn’t know what to say. You have every right to know what happened to you but then you might relive the memory and turn back into the girl from last night, and he never wanted you to feel like that again.

As you stare at him expectantly, he doesn’t move, the only thing stopping him from looking like a 2D manga character is his shifting eyes that are looking everywhere but at you.

The way Sunghoon is reacting is making you nervous. You must have fucked up big time if Park Sunghoon is speechless, “Sunghoon I’m sorry if I crossed a line.”

His eyes widen, your choice of words ironic to your situation. If he can make you remember at your own free will then that has to be better than just springing it on you, right? “You didn’t do anything out of order, I promise. You called me to come pick you up,” he pauses looking down at the now suddenly interesting countertop, “Do you remember why you phoned me?”

You lift your head from your hand and shake your head, “No, not really. I remember drinking lots and then it kind of blacks out.” Your brain vessels are popping at the hard work you’re putting in to remember because by Sunghoon’s facial expression, you’re missing something massive, “I do remember dancing, and then sitting on the ground outside.” The memories fade in and out, only recalling locations.

He blows cold air and nods slowly, knowing he is going to have to tell you, “Y/N, do you remember a guy?” Seeing your eyes dart about like you’re trying to find the answer in the air tells Sunghoon you don’t remember, “He uh, he was dancing with you and asked you to go upstairs?” He is giving you tiny hints to help you cast your mind back which seems to be working enough.

“I went upstairs and,” all the images from last night flash quickly by, how you walked up the stairs, how he pinned you against the wall, his unappealing touches, how he-. That’s why Sunghoon looks so apprehensive to tell you flat out what happened, “Oh…yeah.”

Suddenly, you feel like you’re back in your body from last night, that guy's fingers still on you and his breath sticking to your skin. It made you feel disgusting and your body didn’t fit right over your bones anymore. Your mouth fills with saliva and you grip the countertop, this only ever happens when you are going to be sick or have a panic attack, in this case, it could be both but for now, it’s only a nauseous reaction. Tears prick your eyes as you try to stop yourself from breaking down.

Rushing over, Sunghoon twists your seat to face him so he can envelope you in his arms, “Shh, you’re safe here.” And you believe him. You are safe as long as he is with you, his soft touches are a testament to that.

Sunghoon shuts his eyes, wishing he could take away all the pain and sorrow you’re feeling but he’s a useless bystander who can only watch you go through this. He knows words and affection only go so far and it would take you a while to come to terms with the ordeal, but he’s silently vowing to himself that he will be here for you.

It’s strange how rapidly he became attached to you, like you were a bright light and he was a moth, too distracted by your beauty to think about the danger.

Once you settled down a little, he pulled away to check your face for straggled tears and wiped them away, “I will never let anyone touch you again. Not like that.”

With your memory piecing back together, you pull yourself away from him, grabbing his wrist and inspecting his hand. He had punched that guy so much that the scene before you looked like something out of a gory horror film. Sunghoon’s knuckles are cleaned but bruised and discoloured, the swollenness of his hand indicates a minor fracture.

He wanted you to forget that part but he supposed you would see it eventually. It took him a long time to get the blood stain off, red tinges still visible if you looked hard enough. He has a pictorial for a sponsor in a few days that he’s either going to need his hand airbrushed over or cancel it completely. It didn’t matter the outcome, it was worth it. There will always be more ad deals in the future.

You bring his injured hand to your lips and kiss the knuckles softly which causes Sunghoon to suck in a breath and his throat to close over. Even when you were in dismay you still found time to look after him in the simplest of ways, ways he doesn’t know he needs until you’re already tending to him.

“You need to wrap this up and put some ointment on it or it’ll scar. Where can I find some wrap and Savlon?” You stand up, not taking your eyes off his battered hand.

“I’ll get them, they’re in the toilet I think.” He strolls to the bathroom and finds some old bandages and Geromlene that should do the job just fine. When he walks back into the kitchen you have a cup of water and a piece of kitchen towel, “Here.” He hands you what you need.

Pushing him onto the stool you once occupied, you put his hand on the worktop to clean it, “You know, you shouldn’t have done that.”

He knows the implications of his actions, especially with people recording. If it got to the board he could be removed from competing at Nationals and stripped of his titles, “I guess, but it was worth it.” The boy wants to say that you’re worth it but he doesn’t, scared you’ll pull away again, “I got some revenge from it too.”

The damage to his hand isn’t as bad as you thought but as it tremors slightly, you know some nerve damage has been done. Slathering it in Germolene stings him but he doesn’t let you know it hurts him, he just grits and bares it, letting you continue. Wrapping the bandage around the wound, you collect your thoughts, “What do you mean revenge?”

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you one day,” he shrugs but his words set a sadness in your chest because when would he get to tell you this mysterious problem he has with your aggressor? Sunghoon is saying it like he has a lifetime to tell you all these stories but you shouldn’t even be speaking to him now.

“I am truly sorry, Hoonie,” He tries to talk but you interject, “Not just about last night but for shutting you down like that.” Pursing his lips, his eyes are trained on the bandage, “I just can’t be with you.”

You finish up and kiss his hand again. It’s not difficult to fix someone's physical wounds, there are all sorts of treatments and medications for them, it’s the emotional nicks and cuts you have a hard time patching up. You didn’t really think it would affect him but that’s a lot easier to manipulate yourself into thinking when the boy isn’t in front of you with his face contorted, looking like an injured puppy.

“Minhee doesn’t own you, y’know. You can see whoever you want.” He retorts, hoping you find some reason in his words. Confused, you scrunch your eyebrows as he explains, “You said last night Minhee forbid you from seeing me.”

Ah, drunken you really stuck her foot in it, “I know he doesn’t own me, but you should have seen his face. I’ve never seen him so angry.”

“How did he find out about us?” he asks. Sunghoon says ‘us’ so casually, like you’ve been an ‘us’ forever. He finds it so natural to talk about you as part of him. When he told Jay and Jake about your impromptu date the night of the Zamboni he kept speaking for both of you, how ‘we’ had a great time and ‘we’ just got one another.

“You drove your car up to my front door. The next morning he was all like ‘If you date him Y/N, I’ll kill him’ or something like that.” Your impression of Minhee makes Sunghoon laugh because you nail it perfectly - the scowl, the hard-lined eyes, you must have seen that face so much to perfect it.

Standing up, Sunghoon takes the medical stuff back to the bathroom where he found it, giving himself time to think of ways he can change your mind, find a loophole, anything that allows him to be around you. It’s selfish to want you with him knowing what it does to your brain but if he can somehow convince you, he’ll do anything.

Walking back to you, he sees your figure perched on the stool and there’s a lightbulb moment that goes off in his head, “Did he say date?”

You spin around at his question, unsure of what he is getting at, “What? Yeah, he said ‘date and stuff’ I think.”

“Then let’s not date.”

Slouching, you agree, nodding your head and trying not to look too upset. The notion of not dating him seems to nip your feelings more than you thought.

Seeing your saddened expression, Sunghoon quickly recovers, “No, let’s-” he pauses for a moment, trying to find a nice way to say it, “Let’s keep it casual, keep it strictly hooking up.”

You bring your eyes to meet his pleading ones but you don’t understand the whole situation. When you called it off, he walked away so easily you thought he didn’t care but in front of you now, he seems the exact opposite, “You didn’t seem bothered about me stopping whatever this is between us at the rink,” as you point your finger between you both, Sunghoon can only let out a ‘huh?’ and lean on the island, “You said ‘suit yourself’, like, that would indicate you couldn’t care less.”

Honestly, Sunghoon just didn’t know how to respond at the moment. He wanted to say more but what could he have said?

That was also the reason for his dry response, he decided that it might be best to let you walk away, for your own sake, “It’s not like that, Sweets. I didn’t mean to be like that, I just…I don’t know.” He couldn’t articulate his thoughts at the moment, brain preoccupied with how to keep you here, “Look, you can say no but if you’re the same as me, you know you want this.”

“It won’t ever just be a hooking-up situation though and you know it.” You had to call it what it is. The way you both feel, even in your week apart, was enough to know this would never work. Someone’s feelings, probably you both, would grow so immense that it would never stay casual.

“We make a deal, a promise, swear it on your brother's name that we won’t get attached. You’re too loyal to betray him and I can keep myself in check.” Sunghoon is highly aware of how desperate he sounds right now but he doesn’t mind.

“But I would already be betraying him by even considering having sex with you again.” You’re crestfallen as you speak, gazing down and playing with your fingers.

Sunghoon has the opposite reaction however, his face has a slight smile while he brings his hands to your shoulders, gaining your full attention, “But he said you can’t date me, not that you can’t fuck me.”

“I think it was implied, Hoon.”

“But not explicitly stated.” If Sunghoon wasn’t in university for sports physiotherapy, he could be studying to be a lawyer, at least that’s what he thinks, “C’mon, Sweets, I might go mad if I don’t get to touch you again.”

The cogs turn in your head because he does have a point, it’s the perfect, guilt-free loophole. You wouldn’t be dating him but still get to see him, it’s a win-win on paper, “What if my brother finds out?”

His big hands tuck your hair back behind your ears and stay pressed on your cheeks, “Believe it or not, Y/N, I don’t tend to air my sex life to the town.” Sunghoon breathes out a laugh, his thumbs swiping back and forth on your face, helping your uneasiness but also removing some of the smudged makeup from yesterday, “We’ll keep it a secret, yeah?”

“You could have any girl, Hoon, one you don’t have to sneak around with,” you want to give him one last chance out of this.

Pressing his forehead against yours, he whispers, “To be perfectly honest, Y/N, I don’t want just anyone else, I want you.” You need to tell your heart to calm down so you close your eyes to find some semblance of equanimity. He nudges his nose with yours and smiles, knowing the effect he has on you, “So, what do you say?”

There is a beat of a pause before you say softly, “Yes.” It was a risk. You would have to be careful but if you wanted to stop at any point you could, because it was just casual, nothing more - Minhee would never know.

The brightest smile graces Sunghoon’s face, his eyes shrinking in size and canines on full display, “Yeah?” It’s like he doesn’t believe it even though he’s heard it. For a moment he thought you were going to tell him no, that there was no ambiguity to be found in Minhee’s words, “Can I kiss you then?” he asks, his voice tinged with hopeful anticipation.

You meet his gaze, offering a nonchalant shrug that belies the flutter of excitement in your chest. "I suppose so," you reply, your tone teasing yet inviting.

He leans in slowly, testing to see if you actually meant it. Meeting him halfway, your lips meld together seamlessly, igniting a spark of longing that fuels the kiss. Sunghoon's smile against your mouth speaks volumes, conveying his joy and gratitude. Sunghoon can’t ever stop kissing you, not unless you need air.

With his hands gently gripping your waist, he feels you push yourself onto him. Sunghoon’s lips are all over yours practically eating your face off because he can’t believe he hasn’t kissed you in 8 days. He missed your taste and how easy it was to get lost in your mouth. Both of you are so desperate for one another that you don’t even come up for breath, the kiss all too consuming.

You yelp when he picks you up and carries you to his bedroom, kicking the door shut with his foot and throwing you both on the bed and as you shuffle up the bed, Sunghoon crawls with you, his mouth chasing yours eagerly.

There’s electricity in the air and it sparks pure lust into his body, his dick throbbing at the thought of being with you again. This time he’s going to do it right and take his time with you, ensuring you feel sufficiently fucked out when he’s done. When he was taking you in the front seat of his car, it was good, actually, it was beyond perfect but it was over too soon, he had so much more to show you.

His mouth moves at a new unhurried pace, his tongue running painstakingly slow over yours, so slow he could feel all your tastebuds. Sunghoon’s promise to himself was to devour you so much you are all he can taste for the next few days, just in case he doesn’t get the chance to sneak you away. This deal he has with you isn’t ideal, he wants to call you his and never let go, not just be a fuck buddy. He did call you his last night in the heat of the moment and it felt so good to say it.

Your hands slide under his white t-shirt and scrape his sides lightly, making the man shiver. It’s not only his waist you’re touching like this but you’re soon roaming all over his body. Your hands have a mind of their own as they glide every inch of his soft, warm skin, and the caresses you are receiving are equally as adoring. Not like that guy.

Why did you think about it now? Just when you had distracted yourself enough.

Noticing the change in you, Sunghoon pauses his kisses and opens his eyes, “Are you okay, Y/N?” You nod but it’s unconvincing, making him halt, “Talk to me, Sweets.”

Unfortunately, he’s seen that look on your face before and he knows what you’re thinking about.

How could he be so stupid? It didn’t even register to him you might not be ready to jump into bed considering what happened not 24 hours ago, hell, not even 12 hours ago.

“Hoonie?” Your voice is wispy as you run a hand through his dark locks, “Make me forget about it? Replace his touches with yours?” It was a simple request but it held so much weight. Sunghoon was the only one you wanted to feel on your body from now on.

“Are you sure, Y/N? I don’t want you to think you have to. I can wait for as long as you need.”

Sunghoon’s facial features are drawn with concern as he waits for you to truly think about this, to analyse whether you’re making this decision with a clear mind.

Shaking your head, you decline his kind act, “I want you to fuck me. Like really fuck me,” your eyes never come off of his to make certain he knows you’re serious, “I’m okay and I want this. I want you so bad.”

A smirk plasters itself onto Sunghoon’s face, “You’re going to kill me, y’know.” He presses his body on yours so you feel most of his weight on your core, his cock hardening as he softly grinds it onto your clothed heat, “As long as you’re sure?”

You nod, getting a little impatient but you’re appreciative of his concern.

He doesn’t say anything but goes back to kissing you even more intensely than before, his fingertips rubbing themself all over your body just as you requested. Sunghoon will do anything in his power to make you feel better. If this is what you wanted, this is what you’d get.

Sunghoon’s right hand trails down your stomach, shaking a little from sheer joy. He dips into the band of the boxers you’re wearing and slides his fingers perfectly between your folds, “How many times do you think I can make you cum this time, hmm?” The pad of his pointer circles your clit “Maybe once?” His husky voice flows into your ear as he speaks, “Could be twice, or three times, I know you’re more than capable.” You wriggle under him when his middle and ring fingers join the party and tap your entrance, “4 times? Could my Sweets cum 4 times for me?”

He has the audacity to be asking you these questions when all you can do is writhe in anticipation and want. If he keeps rubbing your clit and poking at your hole like this you might have the first orgasm in record time, but you don’t want to give him all the satisfaction, so you hold back.

Biting at your neck, he feels your heartbeat picking up speed to mirror with his thumb, “You could cum right now, couldn’t you? Why don’t you?” Sunghoon can feel your resistance and he knows you’re hating how much control he has over you. You’re an independent girl and he knows that means you’re not used to being in this position, with someone playing you like this. When you rode him in his car, you wanted to be in full control but he didn’t let that happen.

Moving his face to yours, he sees your eyes shut and mouth open, a clear invitation for him to stick his tongue down your throat. You moan at the sensations happening to your body all at once and the cocky boy on top of you smiles, his tongue licking over yours, “Let go, Sweets. I won’t deny you anything unless you want me to.”

If there is one thing you hate in this world it’s being edged. You’re aware that some people love it, that it heightens the climax when you finally get to cum but you can’t think of anything worse. Why withstand the inevitable when you can have multiple bouts of pleasure? So maybe you should just let him see how many times he could get you off, it would be beneficial for you, who cares if his ego inflates, you could get him back another time.

You smile at the thought of having another time with him.

Once you make the decision to loosen up and let Sunghoon do his thing, he knows he’s won the tiny battle of dominance, “Good girl.” Here comes that praise kink you’ve discovered because, with his words, you’re purring into his mouth and levitating your hips to get more connection from his fingers. You don’t have to ask him anything, he already knows what you need, he can feel the wetness on his fingers that’s leaking from your pussy.

His thumb hasn’t stopped rubbing you, and it continues with the same vigour as he slips his two fingers into you, stretching you open. Assessing your face for any discomfort, he doesn’t discover any, only bliss etched on your features. If he could, he would do this for a full-time job and work overtime just to see you like this all of the time.

Sunghoon starts to thrust his fingers into you at a steady pace, one finger ridged, applying pressure, and the other loose so he can hit every spot inside you. He wasn’t an expert on fingering women but with the response of your pussy contracting, he knows he’s giving you what you need. While his fingers pleasure you, he works off the boxers you’re wearing which is easier said than done considering he’s only got one hand to pull them down with. It’s not like him to give up on anything though and before you know it, he’s whipped them off your legs, all the while never letting up on his pace.

He needs to add multitasking to his resume.

Sitting on his knees and finding a new angle, he adds a third finger, stretching you to the brink. He looks at you from where he sits and takes in the view; your legs spread, shoulders pushing themselves into his sheets while your back lifts - it’s the most beautiful sight he’s ever witnessed. And here he was thinking you bouncing on his cock was top of his list.

You bite back a moan, covering your mouth with your forearm, “Nu-uh, Sweets. I wanna hear you,” he leans forward and cages beneath him as he pins your arm away from your face, “Let me hear how good you feel.”

You aren’t necessarily loud in bed, but you’ve never had the need to be moaning and groaning like a pornstar. That was until now, so with his go-ahead, you become more vocal, signalling when he was making you feel stars in your pussy. “Fuck, I-”

“Cum on my fingers, baby, give it to me,” he rubs your clit harder, coaxing out your first of many orgasms of the night.

Not wasting a single drop, he dips down so his face is at your core and laps up the juices, replacing his fingers with his tongue. You taste so perfect, the tang of your pussy is what he has been craving and he wasn’t satisfied until he had it filling his mouth.

He eats you out, his fingers that were once inside you now assisting his mouth by spreading your folds open. Your legs flail while he drinks you up, consuming your pussy like it was the last bit of water and he was a traveller in the Sahara Dessert.

You finally plant your feet on the bed, resisting the urge to close your thighs in case you suffocate him, but Sunghoon being Sunghoon, notices, “Don’t be scared to crush my head, I like it.”

He loves it actually, the feeling of being confined by fluffy thighs, the 'no way out’ feeling gives him more incentive to get his partner to cum quicker. It might be masochistic the way he loves fighting for breath but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Oh my fuck,” Your legs grant his wishes and trap him. He is way too good at this like he does it as an obsessive hobby. All caution is thrown to the wind and mewl out his name loudly, tugging his hair with your hands.

Sunghoon feels his cock throb at how you cry out his name so achingly, he needs to have you around him soon, so he focuses on your clit, nipping at it skillfully to bring you over the edge. It only takes a minute or two before your pussy is contracting as you cum over his face. Your nectar coats his mouth and he wonders how he can add your cum as part of his skincare routine because he wants to be lathered in it morning and night.

Your legs shake intensely as you feel the orgasm claim you. Your body has gone limp, legs falling open to each side. Swiftly, his hands are on your ass, pushing your vagina up to his face so he can tuck into you, taking full control. Sunghoon is holding your whole bottom half up and it’s helping him slurp you, his tongue dipping into your hole to lap any of the leftover cum he could have missed and his perfect nose rubbing against your delicate clit.

“Sunghoon, please, I can’t do another one so quickly.” Sunghoon doesn’t hear you though, too focused on his meal. He’s using his hold on you to manually grind your pussy on his face which is sending you into overdrive. He buries in your cunt as deep as humanly possible, moaning into you.

The vibrations from his moan are too much for you, “Hoonie, fuck, I’m gonna cum again.” His ego is the size of Buckingham Palace the way he made you take back your words. He knew you were lying when you said you couldn’t cum again that fast. You need to start giving yourself more credit.

For the third time today, you cum hard moaning his name, this time you're really gripping at his hair, almost thrashing around at the intensity of it. Those porn videos you see scrolling through Twitter might not be as over the top as you thought because you’ve lost your head, the only thing you know for certain is that your pussy is pulsing and soaking wet.

He kisses up your heat once more while his hands rub the outside of your legs, trying to get you to settle, “Take a minute,” Sunghoon brings you forward so you sit up, his arms keeping you steady when you climb onto him and sit on his lap, “You did so well, Sweets.” You lay your head on his shoulder and indulge in the praises he’s giving you.

Drawing back you look at him with hazy eyes, “Thank you, Hoonie.”

“I should be thanking you, you taste fucking unreal,” he pushes your sweaty hair back absentmindedly before he kisses you ever so gently, his teeth grazing your lower lip, asking you to open up for his tongue.

Slowly, you open up to grant him entry, his kitten licks subtle but deep enough that you can tangle your tongue with his. You had never been kissed like this before and it was turning you on so much; the way his hands were roaming over your back and his lips moulding into yours just right, it was like a dream. The atmosphere was getting hot again as you both deepened the kiss, your tongues swirling and flicking with one another rhythmically.

He bites your bottom lip and pulls at it roughly, making you involuntarily groan and throw your head back. Sunghoon loves how responsive you are, the way your body presses into him desperately seeking connection the same way he does. It's euphoric, and it gives him the same feeling of want that you do.

One thing that’s missing is the view of your delicious tits in his face, covered by his much-loved band t-shirt. Swiftly, he peels it off your body and his hands fly right to them, squeezing and pulling at them roughly. He contemplates removing his lips from your mouth to attach them to your perky nipple but you’re enjoying kissing him too much.

He’ll come back for them soon.

Although it seems like he has been kissing you for eternity, it has revived you and made you want more. The idea makes your clit pulsate, and you softly massage her over his clothed cock, “Hoonie,” the uttering of his nickname brings him out of his dazed state and he pulls back to look at you, “I need you.” After admiring how full his lips have become from the kisses, you find it impossible to resist the temptation to start kissing him once more, not giving him a chance to speak.

Sunghoon’s mouth should be put in a museum or win some sort of Nobel prize for how spectacular it is.

“You sure? Don’t you need more time?” To be honest, Sunghoon became so engrossed in your tongue inside his mouth that he completely lost track of time. He’s unaware that he has been kissing and holding you on his lap for more than twenty minutes which for you is more than enough recovery time.

“I’m sure,” You reassure him not just by your words but by how hard you’re starting to hump him over his boxers.

His eyelids are drooping, heavy from the lust he’s feeling, “Fuck, you turn me on so bad, Y/N.” Sunghoon can’t wait any longer so with one hand on the back of your head and one on your ass, he lifts you slightly as he shuffles forward to lay you down so you’re comfortable on the bed. Just as he promised himself, he dives his mouth onto your left tit, sucking and licking your nipple. They’re so soft and delicate that he just cannot get enough.

Although you enjoy the way he's toying with your breasts, it's not what you want right now. He has all the time in the world to fondle you, just as soon as his cock is slotted inside your pussy, “Sunghoon, please.”

“Shh, I know.” He gets it, he really does - he is just as, if not more desperate to fuck you. He just had to pay some extra loving to his favourite girls first.

“Let me grab a condom.” Sunghoon keeps them in his top drawer like most people do so they’re easy enough to retrieve and won’t keep you waiting. He stands up and flicks through the drawer to find the foils - he has ultra-thin condoms somewhere in this mess which are far superior to the ones he has in his car.

You turn to look at him as he hurriedly scours his drawer for the rubber and it dawns on you that he still has his clothes on, albeit he’s only in a loose top and stripy boxer shorts, but it’s still two layers too many. Your fingers reach over and twist his top idly, wondering what he looks like naked. It was unfair he got to see you naked twice and you haven’t even seen him with his top off yet.

Sunghoon feels the tugging of his t-shirt and looks down at you, the desired-filled gaze you have as you’re lost in thought only encourages him to find the condoms faster. He finally stumbles upon the red packet and inwardly celebrates. The ultra-thin condoms felt so good, giving him almost the same sensation as going in raw while making sure no baby Parks were running around Cheonan.

With the boy distracted as he shuts the drawer, you take the opportunity to slowly pull down his boxers. His startled expression turns to one of excitement as he processes what you’re doing, “That desperate?” Instead of answering, you lick up his shaft painfully slow, keeping eye contact with him as you do so, “Fucking hell.”

As your mouth closes around his tip and sucks firmly, the already painful hardness of his cock intensifies, leaking pre cum into your mouth already, “Sweets, as much - fuck - as much as I would love to have you suck me off, I really want to fuck you.” He whips off his t-shirt, now standing proudly naked.

Popping off him reluctantly, you agree and go back to the position he laid you in, “You always listen to me so well, Sweets,” he says while stroking his cock a few times to spread the mix of your saliva and the beads of his cum.

Opening the wrapper and rolling the condom, he sees your hungry eyes focused on him. You’re watching his every move and it’s agonising. That jealousy that seems to erupt within you when it comes to Sunghoon seems to have gotten so bad you’re now jealous of him as he touches his own cock. There’s something wrong with you but you want to be the only one touching him.

Sunghoon crawls on the bed and hovers over you, ready to give you what you want, “Can’t wait to feel you around me again. Thought I might die.”

“Sunghoon, it’s only been a week,” you laugh and curl your arms around his neck to peck his lips.

“Yeah, a week too long.” Sunghoon mirrors your laugh. He wasn’t joking though, after he fucked you, nothing else could get him off, only you could do that for him now. He was never letting you out of his grasp again, that much was obvious.

He starts by dragging his dick through your folds, stimulating your clit with the brushing of his head just to test how ready for this you are. Your nub was highly sensitive at the moment and he didn’t want to hurt you but by the soft mewls leaving your throat, he got confirmation that you were okay and pressed himself to your entrance, slowly pushing in.

Sunghoon started off slow and shallow, opening you up around him gently. What he doesn’t plan on is you moving yourself down further onto his cock, already eager for more. He didn’t know what you liked so he had to learn as he went along but he’s taking mental notes because he wants to be the one fuck you never forget about. Even in 40 years if you’re married to someone else with kids he wants you to look back on him and think about how no one has ever fucked you as good as Park Sunghoon.

He grips your hips and starts to bottom out, thrusting into you with a fast and steady pace that’s already driving you wild. The way his cock curves slightly to the left helps add a sensation you haven’t felt before with anyone else, “Oh my god, fuck,” you grasp him by his hair and plant more kisses on him. Even though they're clumsy, you absolutely have to have him all over you, whatever it takes, “Hoonie, you feel so good.”

“Fuck, baby, so do you,” The nickname slips out his lips by accident, he wasn’t sure if calling you baby was against the rules, he’d have to ask you later because he doesn’t think you’ve even registered what he just said, too lost in pleasure.

His hips snap sharply against you as he presses in deeper. The feeling of your pussy squeezing him has him close to climax but he’s holding it in, just like you did earlier. This wasn’t for any reason other than wanting this to last. Sunghoon can cum more than once usually, but with breaks, and by the look of you already so fucked out, he knows he can’t push you to go that long.

Sitting back up on his knees, he lifts one of your legs over his shoulder and twists you on your side, the new angle allowing his cock to hit your sweet spot over and over again. He’s pounding into you so deep you think you can feel him in your stomach, “Fuck, Hoonie, right there!” you cry out in pleasure, burying your head into the bed. He is literally fucking you sideways and you cannot get enough of it.

You want to help out but you physically can’t. Sunghoon is holding onto your leg and manhandling you in any way he pleases to make you feel good and fuck it’s working. In contrast to his forceful thrusts, he gives your calf a couple of gentle kisses, making you feel incredibly cared for, as though his sole goal is your pleasure.

And it is. That’s all he will ever think about from now on, “Y/N,” he moans your name and it’s the best song you’ve ever heard, “I’m gonna fuck you forever.”

“Please, don’t ever stop, please.” You mean every pleading cry because you’ve never felt so good in your life. The groans escaping your mouth are so loud it’s embarrassing but when you feel Sunghoon thrust his hips faster, the feeling of embarrassment dissipates because he clearly likes you being loud, probably because he’s the same. His grunts filled the room with the occasional profanities following them. You’ve never been with a man who’s vocal but you can’t ever go back to the quiet. You can’t fuck anyone other than Sunghoon.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Sweets. You’re fucking sensational.” He twists you back onto your back, both of your legs now placed over his broad shoulders as he bends you in half, fucking you to finality, “You’re squeezing me so good. Do you want to cum?” His voice is breathless, close to finishing himself.

You can’t get the words out so you settle with a nod but you know he wouldn’t accept that as an answer. Looking up at him you manage to build your voice, “Yes, Hoonie. I wanna cum so bad, please let me cum.”

“You never have to ask, Sweets, just let go.”

Being the people pleaser you are, it’s only natural for you to ask if you can cum. If you cum too soon he might not like that and you can’t imagine disappointing him. What you don’t know is that you could never disappoint Sunghoon, he doesn’t care if you cum in 5 seconds or 5 hours, he just wants you to feel good.

He sees you thinking about it even though you’re desperate to climax. It’s time for him to bring out the big guns. Sliding his hand down between you, he rubs your clit back and forth, “Be a good girl for me.” He caught onto your need for appraisal right away and he knows it’ll drive you crazy. And he’s right because the praise mixed in with his harsh thrusts and fingers stroking your clit, your body starts to shake and contort as you cum.

Even though your eyes are clenched tight, you could cry from how much the orgasm is coursing through you., “That’s it, doing so well for me,” Sunghoon whispers in your ear, losing his sharp rhythm, “Fuck, Y/N, you’re the best pussy I’ve ever had.”

“It’s only for you.” You whimper, still fucked out of reality, “Only yours.”

“Yeah? Your pussy is all mine?”

“All yours, Hoonie.”

With your words, he stills his cock inside of you and lets his climax take control as he spills into the condom, filling it up before falling on top of you. It doesn't take the exhausted man long to realise that his head is perfectly positioned between your tits, a sly smile teasing his face.

This is everything he’s ever dreamed of.

Your shared breathless pants bounce around the room, evidencing the exertion of your sex session. Can you imagine if you had said no to being casual with him? You wouldn’t have gotten to experience the best sex of your life.

He lifts his head to look at you, swallowing hard, trying to get some moistness back into his mouth, “You are unreal, do you know that?” All you can do is laugh at him and shake your head, “I’m serious, Y/N, you’re fucking amazing.” He places a gentle kiss between your breasts as if to seal his compliment into your heart.

You thread your fingers through his hair and it falls perfectly back into place. You are so content right now with Sunghoon’s cock nestled inside you, his hands tucked under your back as he absentmindedly massages you, and his lips now trailing kisses up your collarbone and neck, “Thank you, Hoonie.”

“You don’t have to thank me for telling you the truth,” His lips finally meet yours again as he smooches you a couple of times.

“Not that,” you pause to collate your words, “Thank you for helping me yesterday, like truly I wouldn’t have been surprised if you ignored my call.” After you left him high and dry you didn’t understand why he came to your rescue at the party but you could not thank him enough.

“I’ll always answer when you call,” he states casually, hiding how his words have a deeper meaning.

His eyes sparkle and stare into yours. He wants to say more but he has to leave it there. What he wants to tell you is that you can rely on him night and day and that he wants to protect you for the rest of his life. There’s something about you that is dragging him into a pot of feelings he hasn’t experienced before.

It’s crazy how fast all of this has happened for you both, and if he ever vocalised how he felt people would probably tell him it was crazy. Yet, for Sunghoon, it wasn’t crazy at all. He felt so many things for you, he just doesn’t know what they all are or why they’re happening so quickly.

But he told you he would keep his feelings in order, hold them back to make this deal work. It’s going to be difficult because he wants to scream at how much he likes you, how comforting it is when you’re with him. Even when you studied at the rink while he skates, no one uttering a word or sparing a glance, he just felt happier with your presence. That’s probably why he came up and spoke to you that night he accused you of being a spy for your brother.

Yes, there was a little part of him that believed you were there to give Minhee a heads up given how close you both are, but he just needed one excuse to talk to you. If he made the first move then he could keep talking to you, just like he’s always wanted to.

“Stop looking at me like that,” you whisper.

“Like what?” His eyes don’t stop speaking silent words and it makes your tummy flutter.

“Like you’re breaking the rules already.”

You sit up on your elbows, breaking the connection. Not that you wanted to but if you both can’t even keep the deal intact for a couple of hours, there was no hope for you. Sunghoon listens to your body language and gets off of you completely, slipping his cock out in the process.

He disregards the condom in his bin and puts his boxers back on, “I guess we need to set the rules before I can break them.” Suddenly he goes out of the room for a minute, only to come back with a cloth and some blue Powerade, “Like, can I clean you up, or is that a no?”

The boundaries between what is and is not too intimate are hazy, but he is physically unable to resist taking care of you after sex. He would rather die than watch you clean yourself because as far as Sunghoon was concerned if he made the mess, he should clean it. Plus, it’s the right thing to do after he just fucked your brains out.

“I-” You ponder for a moment, unsure of the protocol between fuck buddies, but as you think it over, Sunghoon is already wiping you down, cleaning your juices from your folds and thighs. You could do it yourself, you supposed, but you can’t lie, being taken care of like this even in the most simplest of ways made you feel warm inside. Are these the feelings you’re both trying to avoid? This is too complicated.

“I guess we can work out the rules as we go. But I am giving you aftercare, I don’t care what you say.” He hands you the Powerade once he’s finished cleaning you off, “And you can’t run off right away.”

“But I can’t spend the night,” you argue.

“You don’t have to, but I’m not going to kick you out. If you’re tired, you stay here. End of story.” Clearly, Sunghoon hasn’t grasped the idea of friends with benefits but you’ll let it go for now.

You take a sip of your drink, your gaze lingering on Sunghoon as he rummages through his closet, searching for something for you to wear. You take the time to admire his back, the natural muscles built from his workout regime pop as he flicks through the hoodies hanging up. It’s making you wet again, you can’t lie.

He removes one from its hanger and gives it to you, along with some gym shorts. Although they probably look great on him, you can’t help but think how much you might end up looking like Adam Sandler if you put them on, but then again, you don’t have a choice.

“Here, put these on.” He hands you the clothes, kissing your head before petting it softly, the act of affection making you giddy.

“I can’t wear your hoodie, that’s too girlfriend-ish,” you look up at him and his hand stops at the back of your head, scratching it adoringly.

Sunghoon sighs with a smile, “You don’t really have a choice here, Sweets. Unless you want to put that dress back on,” The idea of physically stuffing yourself into that piece of clothing again makes you shudder, “That’s what I thought. It’s just an old hoodie anyway, I don’t even wear it anymore.”

False. He won't admit it to you, but he always wears it and carries it with him everywhere. It's his comfort sweatshirt. To see you in his favourite hoodie and to smell like him - that's why Sunghoon chose it especially.

As you slip into the hoodie, unaware of its significance to him, you unknowingly envelop yourself in a piece of his world. The familiar scent of him lingers in the fabric, wrapping around you like a warm embrace.

Quickly, you put on the remaining clothes and search for your stuff, “I need to go to Rinas, she’s probably wondering where I am.” In your leather jacket, you feel around for your phone, anticipating missed calls from your best friend.

“She knows you’re here,” He picks up your phone from the floor and passes it to you, it must have fallen out when he carried you in here last night.

You look at him puzzled but still remember to thank him, “What do you mean? Rina would never have let you take me home,” you state. Rina saw the mess you were in because of him, and with him leathering into that guy, she would have dragged you away from him herself.

Sunghoon smiles triumphantly, “She didn’t have a choice. I told her you were going to mine and that she had to cover for you.”

“You told THE Yu Jimin what to do?” You were gagged at the thought, truly, your flabber had been gasted because no one tells Rina what to do, like ever, and if they did she would make sure they were never happy again.

He simply shrugs and steals a kiss, and then another before his lips linger for a little longer, enticing you to kiss him back. Once he feels your lips moving with his, he smirks, bringing his hand to cradle your jaw, his fingers in your hair. You probably shouldn’t be kissing like this either but you don’t care right now, not with how his lips taste against yours..

Sunghoon steps back after a few blissful minutes and asks, "Was that the right choice, or what?" When he walks away to change, the smile becomes a smirk as he thinks about the sex you’ve just had.

You check your phone for messages and there are a lot. One from Minhee, saying he had a great time and he was staying at Jungmo’s place. It was perfect because now you could sneak into the house without anyone knowing you were gone for the night. There are a few texts from your mum saying she’s going to the store and not to sleep all day. And then there was Rina.

Rina💗

4:12am: Y/N, text me when you get there.

4:33am: If he touches you I swear to fuck I will kill him.

5:02am: Please let me know if you got to his ok?

8:54am: GIRL WAKE UP.

9:01am: You never sleep in after drinking.

9:01am: ARE YOU FUCKING HIM RIGHT NOW?

9:02am: IF YOU FUCK HIM I AM NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN

10:23am: I cannot believe you are fucking him! Get over here right now.

You don’t know how she knew you were fucking him at that time but you are never going to hear the end of it.

“What is she saying?” He asks, tying the string of his joggers.

“That if you touch me she’s going to kill you, and I’m basically in the bad books for fucking you.” He turns the phone to see the messages and laughs.

Sunghoon hadn’t encountered Rina until last night but he heard the rumours about her and her temper. He didn’t know it was that girl who was your best friend, he thought you might have run with a different crowd, a quieter one with less drama. Rina was the opposite of you, she’s loud and obnoxious, and that’s just from what he saw last night, but at least she looks after you. He knew it was out of order to bad mouth her and her boyfriend but he’s not sorry for it.

“Well then,” He circles his arms around you, “If I’m going to die at the hands of your best friend, I think I should get to fuck you one more time.” He leans down to kiss you but all you can do is laugh. He was just a man at the end of the day, a horny, needy man.

“I need to get to Rina’s.” You say between kisses but that’s not what he wants to hear, so he grumbles slightly, the pout of his lips only adding to the kiss. He doesn’t have to say anything, you know he’s upset that you won’t stay a little longer, “I know, Hoonie. But I’ll see you at the rink, yeah?”

“Want another Zamboni lesson? I can really show you how to pump the lever.” Playfully, you slap his chest and push him away. The look on his face is one of arrogance and it’s so sexy but you can’t let him know, it’ll only inflate his head more.

You grab your belongings while Sunghoon follows you around like a puppy, placing his hand on your ass as you bend down to put on your shoes. The clothes you are wearing are ludicrous, nonetheless, you can't go to Rina's place barefoot. Sunghoon's hand slides beneath your hoodie and gently rubs your back, but when you straighten up, both of his hands are suddenly on your skin, easing their way to your boobs.

He pinches both of your nipples, eliciting a moan. Your head falls back onto his shoulder as you let him fondle you, “Sunghoon, I honestly have to go.”

“I know, just give me a minute.” His fascination with your boobs is unhealthy but he just can’t get enough. If your pussy wasn’t so delicious they might take the number one spot for his favourite things on your body. True to his word, after a couple of minutes he lets you go, his hands now hanging sadly by his side, “C’mon I’ll drive you.”

“I can walk it’s fine.” It was a long walk but you could use the air, still hot from the hangover and taking Sunghoon’s cock.

His eyebrows raise and he crosses his arms, “In those heels, yeah?” His eyes point to your 6 inch shoes in bewilderment. People look great in heels but he will never understand how anyone walks more than 5 minutes in them.

You look down at your shoes with him and nod, “Yeah, it’s only like an hour or two walk or something, I’ll blast through it.”

“Not a chance. I’m driving you.” As you begin to protest he points to you, “Eh, no arguing about this, Sweets, I’m taking you to Karina’s.” Sunghoon always had a way of getting what he wanted, either from his charm or his stubbornness. You have no choice now but to agree, so you pick your stuff back up and follow him out of his room.

Just as you both exit, Jake stands with a towel wrapped around his waist and water droplets falling down his abs. Sunghoon tuts in disgust, “Dude, there’s a girl here.”

“Yeah, I think the whole block knows that.” Sunghoon warns Jake with his eyes to shut up, “I’m Jake, by the way, Sunghoon’s favourite roommate.” Jake sticks his arm out to give you a handshake which you gingerly accept.

“Y/N.”

“Yeah, knew that too. He’s just as loud.” Jake laughs and walks away, leaving you both filled with embarrassment.

You punch the boy beside you in the arm once Jake is out of sight, causing Sunghoon to yelp and rub his arm, “How could you not tell me you had roommates!” you whisper-shout up at him.

If you had known he lived with others, there's no way you would have been as loud as you were. Everyone has sex, so it's not a huge thing. However, you're not thrilled that Sunghoon neglected to mention his roommates, especially since you haven't even seen them before and their first impression of you is you moaning like you’re in the adult entertainment industry.

“I guess I was too busy fucking you senseless to think about them.” He earns another punch for that one, but he takes it in his stride, wrapping his arm around you, “C’mon, Sweets, if anything, you’ve started a competition on who can get their girl to scream loudest.”

With that, he kisses the crown of your head as he guides you out of the house and to his car.

taglist (closed!!): @heelee-01 @zerasari @beomgyusonlywife @iwaplant @monstanctiny21 @chiiiiiiiiis @minniejenseo @run2gyuz @jngwnlvs @haelahoops @capri-cuntz @nctislifue @jaehoonii @weyukinluv @skzenhalove @enhypenlovre @cherriruto @bambangan @who-tf-soddhi @nxzz-skz @nshmrarki @hotsforikeu @enhastolemyheart @erehkinnie30 @judeduartewannabe @neosexuals @fakeuwus @positivelyinlovewithjungwon @tobiosbbyghorl @kimsunoops

#enhypen smut #enha smut #sunghoon smut #park sunghoon smut #enhypen x reader #enha x reader #sunghoon x reader #melting point #aj writes #enhypen angst

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alltimefail · 5 months ago

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Okay I'm on my 5th rewatch of Dead Boy Detectives and I have to know if anyone else finds it funny (and a little bit maddening) that in episode 6 when Monty needs help finding his fake ghost friend Gladys it's CHARLES who dismisses him immediately?

Like... they go so far as to make a point of showing us multiple reactions to his dismissal. First Crystal, who has no reason to believe the boys will turn down Monty's case due to Edwin's assumed crush and Charles' people-pleasing nature. She agrees to the case quickly because it's the perfect distraction for the boys and will buy her time to get her powers back... but then, to her shock, Charles turns down the case!! Charles who is all about gentleness and "Bedside manner," who cares deeply about being a "Good guy" and about being liked, the guy plagued with worry about how he is perceived by others and who never wants to disappoint anyone, the guy who is suuuuuper sentimental, protective, has a strong sense of justice, and is notably dedicated to protecting his friends and helping the people he cares about at quite literally any cost.

Even Monty is surprised, too!! It's clear that Monty anticipates Edwin's lingering guilt and old-fashioned sensibilities regarding decorum and conflict avoidance to be enough motivation for him to take on the case, that Edwin would agree just to avoid adding any more animosity or awkward tension to an already delicate situation. Monty had to know, going in, that he really only had to get through to Charles (who he admittedly had neglected in the past and been cold to in previous interactions due to his crush on Edwin). Considering Charles' easy-going nature, this should have been quite easy as Edwin is a much harder person to win over, whereas Charles is quick to see the good in others!! That's why he compliments Charles (despite the sentiment being disingenuous) and contrives a story that, knowing what we all know about the boys by this point, should have struck an emotional chord for Charles especially... BUT IT DOESN'T which is like... very weird!!! It's normal for Edwin to act logically, to put facts over feelings, to "play hardball" as Charles puts it in episode 1. But Charles is emotional, he's compassionate, he's impulsive more times than not, so this is notably weird behavior for Charles!!

BUT THEN it gets even better because Charles is immediately like, "Edwin, you know what I'm saying, right?" He throws the ball to Edwin, expecting Edwin to agree with him - a reasonable expectation as, again, Edwin is the logical one - but then Edwin doesn't agree, he sides with the girls instead and takes on the case for, what we can only assume is an unknown/indiscernible reason to Charles. (Remember, Charles has no clue that Edwin already turned Monty down, and we know he thinks that Edwin has a little crush on Monty at this point as well!!) Charles doesn't push the issue, but it's clear he's not particularly happy... it's hard to nail down what exactly he's feeling (we can't read his mind) but he's clearly feeling some type of way. You can tell by his silence, by the tense, tight-jaw frown and his eyes wandering to the floor that he must have been expecting a different outcome. It felt like he asked Edwin in a way that felt more like he was testing something, like he was hoping for a certain outcome...but WHY???

Well, let's acknowledge the context in which this strange interaction happens. In the same episode we see Charles:

Note how weird/off everyone is behaving specifically after Edwin is awkward with Monty on the roof.

Checking Edwin out, up and down, after Niko tells him he looks good (This is an irrefutable conclusion as he openly comments on Edwin's change of clothes later, so like... he noticed lmao)

Acting colder than he previously has to Monty by the time they get to the tall forest, despite the possibility that Monty may have lost his friend who comforted him after his own near-death experience. (This happens after Edwin agrees to take on the case, btw. Even when Crystal points out that there's an issue between Monty and Edwin, Charles makes no move to inquire, to "fix" it, or to be especially gentle as he normally might.)

Boldly and instinctively reach for Edwin's hand while making pointed, emotional eye contact as a "last act" during their near "death" experience.

And that's not even everything!!! So like... yeah, sure, it could be nothing. It could mean nothing. Allll of this could just be coincidental. Maybe Charles was being logical and responsible for once, maybe he really did just feel like they were already too busy to take on an extra case.

OR, more likely in my personal opinion, HE WAS JEALOUS AS FUCK!!! We know, based on their interaction at the end of the episode, that Charles has always had at least some idea that Edwin is not straight. We know that everyone is convinced Edwin has a crush on Monty. We know that Charles, after meeting Monty for the first time, has an expression of disdain on his face while watching Monty and Edwin interact (when Monty is showing Edwin his astrology chart). We even know that, following this interaction, Charles is frazzled/irritated when he fails to get Edwin's attention away from Monty's astrology book (clearly upset that Edwin's attention is occupied elsewhere and suddenly eager to remind Edwin that the goal is to leave Port Townsend with haste). Monty aside, we're not even getting into the protective and emotional response Charles has at the mere mention of the damn Cat King...

SOOOO TLDR; I've watched this show every day, and the more I watch it the less I can be convinced that Charles is not jealous AF and stupidly, deeply in love with Edwin...even if he isn't aware of it yet. I have no idea why so many people think Charles has 0 romantic interest in Edwin and that he "turned Edwin down completely" on the stairs to hell... because that's simply just not what happened lmao. Seeing the word "queerbait" being attached to these two is giving me whiplash... like that's just not what's happening here. That's not the proper interpretation of the nature of their relationship. I don't think there is any possibility, not a chance in hell, that Charles will not reciprocate Edwin's romantic feelings because he quite literally already does and just doesn't know it yet. There's no other way to interpret the acting choices made (which are brilliant) and the writing choices (which are also brilliant).

Anyway, hopefully that made sense. I just needed to share because I am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure going absolutely batshit over this show! 😇

#dead boy detectives #edwin payne #charles rowland #payneland #dbda #the dead boy detectives #I need this show renewed yesterday I am losing my shit lmao #crystal palace #niko sasaki #monty the crow #monty finch

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meanbossart · 8 months ago

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What is it about Astarion that DU Drow fell for? Which traits/habits/quirks/whatever were the ones that he first noticed/piqued his interest?

Oh boy, I mean, at first DU Drow didn't care for Astarion at all. He was extremely on edge around all of these people and Astarion's rather invasive strategy only put him off further - his insight checks may be awful, but he can still tell when someone is trying to suck up to him a little too hard. DU drow thought he was attractive, of course (see.: the narrator's comment about the quote-on-quote pretty corpse) but otherwise didn't think very much of, or very highly of him.

Once he got his confidence back, and after Astarion caught onto the fact that he needed to play hard to get to string him along, there would have been a little while where DU drow only saw him in the context of a trophy or conquest - but admittedly, he also thought Astarion was funny, and he thought he was smart - even someone as dense as him could see that the guy had read him perfectly, and proceeded to adapt as necessary to get what he wanted out of him - and DU drow fell right into it, willingly so. There would have been some mutual respect there between them from understanding each other's games.

Their ritual of letting Astarion bite him definitely planted a little seed of something too. I've talked about it plenty of times so I won't dwell on it, but DU drow enjoys the intimacy implied in allowing someone to hurt him. This was far from an emotional turning point in the relationship, but it did prompt him to start seeing Astarion differently (not better or worse - just differently.)

(I'm a little drunk and went on and on, enjoy LOL)

Then, after one or two intimate encounters, the Urge would have started taking too much of a toll - violent lust turned into lustful violence, and hence DU drow didn't want to have sex anymore out of a fear of losing control during the act; yet, he had learned to trust Astarion by then and would seek out his comfort and companionship all the same. Faced with the situation where sex is no longer an option, I imagine Astarion would have been caught off guard and let the mask slip more often than usual. Pair that with the fact that DU Drow is a surprisingly affectionate (in private) but highly withdrawn person, left him in the role of leading their exchanges. Astarion, I think, would have felt the need to talk; if for no other reason but to fill the air whenever they were alone together. Eventually DU Drow would have started talking back.

These were long nights of just looking up at the sky and going through things that happened that day, what led them here, what the companions are doing, talking shit about whats-his-or-her-name, often just straight up gossip. Astarion eventually realized he could say whatever he damn pleased in front of DU Drow and nothing seemed to phase him, and vice-versa. DU drow enjoyed his bluntness, his earnest impulsivity that matched his own, he laughed at his jokes (as well as some things that weren't meant as jokes) he enjoyed his teasing and his reactions when he said something putrid in return, he liked the way he smelled when he was clean and he liked his stink when he was filthy, he watched him fidget with his own clothes and hair until Astarion gave him a weird look and aggressively asked what he was staring at. He enjoyed when Astarion got angry at something he said, because it felt very genuine - and he didn't use to think of him as a very genuine person.

Astarion was the first to notice something was wrong with him - so DU drow felt comfortable talking about it openly. On the other hand, DU drow never pressed Astarion about his past unprompted - instead just letting him talk about it if he so wished and without trying to milk it for more details when he did choose to do so. Because they spoke a similar language of violence and operated under the same hedonist-based beliefs, it was easy to talk to each other even when there was friction between them - similarly, they were both always willing to move past and quickly "forget" when someone said something truly hurtful.

I don't know if there was a key moment where he realized this had turned into love; that was probably a word DU Drow dropped quite unabashedly sometime after they got to Baldur's Gate, and before they faced-off with Cazador (to no reciprocation or acknowledgment then, not that he minded). But sometime during act 3, DU drow simply assumed that after this was all over they would still stick together.

#ask #DU drow lore #bg3 spoilers

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rotisserory · 6 months ago

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Reo Mikage is Actually Great BPD Representation- Some Thoughts

So I had the extremely unfortunate experience of being exposed to Blue Lock (unfortunate because it's all my tiny pea brain can think about now), and while it is absolutely full of silly guys whose brains I want to pick, this little bugger really stood out to me. The second he came onto the screen, I KNEW I smelled the borderline on him. As I watched the series and read the manga, I noticed he is actually an incredibly well-written depiction of someone struggling with BPD. Reo is a super layered character and my favorite hobby is picking apart those layers and yapping incessantly about them, so here we are. I want to write this analysis for a few reasons:

1.) Too many people misunderstand Reo and categorize him as dramatic or childish without any elaboration and he deserves a proper character deep-dive. I think him being borderline explains a LOT of his reactions/choices throughout the story.

2.) Borderline representation is extremely important to me. I'm diagnosed borderline and have struggled with this disorder for around ten years now, so I get really excited when I spy BPD-coded characters (especially if they're likable people and not just ghoulish irredeemable villains or manic pixie dream girl characters). This disorder can be so isolating, especially when the majority of people will never even bother to research or understand it. I know that some people like to chalk Reo's emotional reactions up to him being a moody 17-year-old, but I think I have enough evidence to prove that this is undiagnosed BPD that's festering in his noggin. Not to mention, literally nobody else acts like this in the series. Reo is incredibly unique and distinct in the way he behaves through this narrative and I think it's way past the point of normal teenage angst. Regardless, believe what you want. He'll always be my borderline princess tho <3

3.) I have a master's degree in English and what good is that if I don't write long, painful, pointless essays on anime guys? Not that this is exceptionally well written, I just like to laugh at myself for getting a whole M.A and then this is the shit I publish online lmao

By the end of this, I hope I can shed some light on wtf is going on inside of Reo's silly little head. (I'm also obviously not a psychologist, don't use any of this to diagnose yourself pls I don't need the scandal)

If you want to read, buckle up, because this is gonna be a long one!

First, let me define BPD- It's a personality disorder characterized by a long-standing pattern of instability in mood, interpersonal relationships, and self-image. At its core, it is a disorder categorized by emotional dysregulation (the inability to regulate one's emotional responses) People with BPD feel everything EXTREMELY hard. That's important to keep in mind IMO, because while their reactions may seem dramatic or extreme, what they're feeling IS dramatic and extreme. Everything they're feeling is amplified, so their reactions are amplified. Obviously from the outside, people assume it's an overreaction since they can't see what's going on inside the borderline's head. When you sit down and dissect the thought process of someone like Reo, it becomes a lot easier to understand why they react the way that they do to certain situations.

(Also, I'm not going to reiterate more than once that an explanation is not an excuse to treat people poorly. I cannot read ANYTHING on BPD without hearing every 2 minutes how the disorder isn't an excuse to hurt other people. We get it!! I'm explaining it, not excusing it. This enter essay is an analysis of why someone acts the way they do, not whether or not it's excusable)

So then, what behaviors/signs does somebody need to exhibit to receive a borderline diagnosis? The 9 diagnostic criteria for BPD are as follows:

1. Fear of abandonment

2. Unstable or changing relationships

3. Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self

4. Impulsive or self-damaging behaviors

5. Suicidal behavior or self-injury

6. Varied or random mood swings

7. Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness

8. Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights

9. Stress-related paranoia or loss of contact with reality

Someone would only need 5 of these to receive a proper diagnosis. Just with the main story and the spin-off manga that is currently released, I think I have enough evidence to argue that Reo has 8 out of 9 criteria for a BPD diagnosis. For the sake of organization, I’m gonna group some of those together though, indicated by a + symbol. I also want to define a few important terms before I start yapping, so that y'all without BPD can understand wtf I'm even talking about.

Favorite Person (fp) - This is someone who holds massive significance in a borderline's life. They emotionally depend on this person a lot and to a certain extent, their worldview almost revolves around them.

Splitting- the change in perception of someone or something caused by black-or-white thinking or dichotomous thinking. It is the devaluation of someone who was once idealized and vice versa.

Mirroring (aka: the chameleon effect)- the constant, unconscious change in one's identity or sense of self by imitating another person’s behaviors, characteristics, or traits. It is common in people who have a vacant or distorted self-image which is a general symptom of BPD.

Now, time for me to break down the most prominent moments where Reo showcases borderline behavior. As I mentioned, I'm going to try and organize this under each criteria point (with some being grouped together)

Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self:

Before I delve into Reo's relationships, I want to start with his baseline sense of identity. It’s established early on that Reo is a very bored, empty, unsatisfied person. Nothing excites him, nothing motivates him, and everything is handed to him. He’s frustrated because his parents notoriously try and buy his affection even though he doesn't want anything. For most of his life up until the narrative starts, he's wandering through life empty and frustrated. That is, until he finally sets his sights on soccer and decides to dedicate his life to winning the World Cup:

The wording, 'proves my existence' is interesting here. I think this is the first instance Reo has felt alive. So far, the only notable thing about him has been his family and his money. He hasn't achieved anything exceptional for himself, but now he has that opportunity. With this goal, he can really build something up from nothing and make it his own. It's almost like he's clinging to this dream to prove that he has some purpose in his life other than being the family heir.

Now, this dream changes when he meets Nagi, of course. I'm not gonna focus too much on their relationship in this section, but I will mention that meeting Nagi shifted Reo's entire dream, and not for the better. Through the narrative, his dream went from:

Winning the World Cup

Winning the World Cup with Nagi

Proving to Nagi that leaving him behind was a mistake

Improving himself and becoming a good striker on his own

Being a tool for Nagi to become the best striker

Had Nagi not come in and ask for Reo to come back to him, I think Reo could have done a great job at establishing his own sense of identity without Nagi. But no matter how much he works on himself, with Nagi in the picture, he's never going to value himself more than Nagi. Reo lets Nagi cloud his identity to the point where Isagi calls him out and asks what he's even doing at Blue Lock in the first place, since he clearly can't survive on his own, he needs Nagi with him.

After dealing with the turmoil of being abandoned by Nagi, Reo goes through a few stages. He starts with wanting to become somebody worthy of being beside Nagi, somebody that Nagi would want to choose. Devoting himself to becoming stronger and more versatile, his end goal is to have Nagi realize he made a mistake by leaving him behind. After a few more matches, Reo starts to realize that he needs to grow and change and become a stronger, better version of himself for himself and not for other people.

He decides that the fight was all his fault to begin with, that he should have never forced Nagi to play soccer and now he is going to get back to what his dream was originally, combined with his new desire to be a stand-alone player (and person, for that matter). Reo accepts the mistakes that he made, admits that he shouldn't have forced his ideals onto Nagi, and resolves to become a better person for HIMSELF. That's excellent!

Of course, Reo can't be happy for TOO long. Nagi comes out of the woodwork saying that he can't beat Isagi on his own and asks for Reo's help. Reo does stand up for himself a bit, saying that Nagi is being inconsiderate of his feelings and mentioning how long it took for him to recover from Nagi leaving. Now, the BPD trait here is how Reo not only forgives Nagi and is jumping on him and hugging him THE NEXT PAGE, but he also just disregards everything he said in this sequence. In a matter of two minutes, he no longer wants to be a player that can fight on his own or improve for himself, he wants to improve for Nagi. He starts ruminating again about how hurt he was when Nagi left, but now he's saying all of it wasn't so that he could get stronger individually, it was so that he could be reunited with Nagi again. Nagi asking for his help and saying that now they can play together again motivate Reo more than anything we've seen so far. (Nagi notoriously throws Reo little affection crumbs like this that Reo eats up, but I'm not trying focus on that) Now, Reo's alright with being a tool for Nagi's success again. Everything that happened was supposed to make him stronger so he could be a better partner to Nagi, right? Reo also says as the chapter ends, to please let him be a part of Nagi's dream until Nagi becomes the world's best striker. That's literally so sad!

He's also immediately back to the 'our' 'we' 'us' talk as well. If he can master his chameleon style in order to keep Nagi above the rest of the players, he wont get left behind again. If he devotes his time and energy into being a solo striker like the rest of these guys, Reo knows that he wont be able to keep up. This was always supposed to be his role, right? Building Nagi up to his full potential! :*)

I also like the detail that Reo is back to hugging Nagi and holding him, but Nagi never really touches him back. I think Reo's love language is touch for sure, not that it's incredibly relevant, but I do think it shows that Reo is back to being 100% comfortable around Nagi as if their fight never happened. I hear a lot of fans asking how Reo could have forgiven Nagi so easily, and I say this with my entire chest, it's the BPD. The black-and-white thinking combined with Nagi being Reo's fp and the excruciating pain of being abandoned by him in the first place ?? Of course he's going to take him back. Also, I've seen people blame Reo for not saying no to Nagi when he asks for help and I have to say that is an absolutely insane take. How are we gonna look at a panel where Nagi asks for help and then blame Reo for helping him?? I'm not going to focus on it too much in this post but in my opinion, it is crazy how little accountability both the narrative + fans give Nagi. Reo is pegged as responsible for both of their downfalls and it's nuts tbh.

Currently in the story, I think Reo's identity is still centered around Nagi. It's really easy for borderlines to structure their entire lives and personalities around their favorite person, but I can only hope that these two keep having open and honest discussions with one another. Hopefully, Reo will eventually learn that he can exist without Nagi and that he's more than just 'his arms and legs'.

Unstable or Changing Relationships:

The most notable relationship in Reo's life is Nagi. They're both each other's first real friends, which already sets up a less-than-ideal dynamic. Nagi has no idea how to communicate and he has pretty weak emotional intelligence. On the other hand, Reo is great at communicating, but he isn't used to regulating his emotions. For a lot of borderlines, they can go a very long time without experiencing any symptoms when they don't have a favorite person. When you think about it, the bulk of the disorder is shown through those interactions with other people. If Reo has never had a real friend in his life, I don't think he'd be used to the emotional turmoil that comes with having a fp.

The minute Reo meets Nagi, he's attached. All his classmates notice it, too. They question why Reo is suddenly so obsessed with this random kid who has no interest in him. Reo is ignoring everybody that isnt Nagi.

Very quickly, Reo boils down his view of the world to being him and Nagi versus everybody else, and he makes that very clear. It also depicts something that I think is incredibly crucial to Reo’s character that a lot of people overlook; as Nagi develops to be Reo’s favorite person, Reo’s dream isnt ‘playing soccer’ anymore. It’s Nagi. It’s being with Nagi, playing soccer with Nagi, being useful to Nagi, taking care of Nagi, and being somebody important to Nagi. He doesnt teach Nagi the rules or how to actually play, he teaches Nagi how to play with him. He literally re-writes and re-structures the game so that it can center around him and Nagi. Nagi calls him out on this in the spin-off manga:

Reo doesnt care about the structure of the game, he cares about Nagi. The other people on the field don't matter. The other team doesn't matter. He also starts to unknowingly put Nagi up on a pedestal, which is another borderline trait. He starts reiterating that Nagi is special, he's different from everybody else, he's destined to achieve great things. The more he raises Nagi up, the more he isolates the two of them in his mind, reiterating the idea that it's them against everybody else. His language reflects this too: Reo exclusively talks with 'us' 'we' 'our', insinuating that they're going to do everything together.

When Ego says that there can't be two winners, Reo says that he'll make Nagi the best striker. His 'ego' will be making Nagi successful. Along with putting Nagi on this pedestal, Reo also very early on establishes the fact that he'd pick Nagi over himself any day of the week. He's the only person in Blue Lock who really couldn't care less about becoming a striker himself: his dream is to be a tool in Nagi's success. Or, in simpler terms, he wants to be useful and make Nagi happy.

These two were in trouble from the very beginning. Nagi is lazy as all hell, has 0 motivation to do anything, and his dream is to live a life of luxury and never have to work. Reo, being the borderline baddie that he is, is more than happy to do EVERYTHING for Nagi. Borderlines love extremely hard! It's one of our best traits and I think it's important to showcase that Reo is a massive sweetheart at his core. He clearly loves Nagi a lot and goes to extreme lengths to make sure he feels taken care of. To someone with BPD, NOTHING is too big of an ask for a person they love, especially if that person is their fp. I also disagree with the argument that Reo 'made' Nagi codependent. Nagi likes being taken care of, he says it all the time. If you ask me, I would actually argue that Nagi takes advantage of Reo a little bit because he knows that Reo will do anything for him. But regardless, I think that Reo starts to develop an unspoken expectation with Nagi that he'll provide him with everything he needs, and in turn, Nagi will stick around. I don't think he's doing this intentionally, nor do I think it's being done in a manipulative way. I just think that Reo has a dormant fear of being abandoned that he doesn't totally know he has yet.

It isn't just Nagi that Reo showcases having unstable relationships with, though. Zantetsu is another good example. Reo starts out disliking Zantetsu, he snaps at him a couple times, and calls him a moron more than once. He starts to warm up to him because Nagi tells him to. The favorite person has MASSIVE sway in the borderline's life. If Nagi likes someone, Reo likes them too. (This is, of course, on the condition that they aren't a threat, looking at you Isagi).

In the immediate next chapter, Reo is acting like they're all best friends. He's climbing on top of them in their big bed, saying that the three of them are gonna win their matches, being a little pookie. He goes from not liking this guy at all to considering him one of his close friends super fast. Also on the topic of Isagi, when they're making up the teams for the second selection, Nagi doesn't initially want to tell Reo that he wants Isagi on their team bc he's worried Reo will be upset. But, when he does finally say it, Reo is literally fine with it because like I said, who Nagi likes, Reo likes! On the condition that they don't replace Reo, which clearly happened soon after.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, Reo also shows how he can go from loving someone to despising him very quickly. After Chigiri and Kunigami tell him to get back up in the game post-Nagi's abandonment, we can literally see the switch flip in Reo's head:

Suddenly, he hates Nagi. Nagi's a jerk who abandoned him; he never cared about him, and he threw him away. Dude literally says "Let's kill the bastards that betrayed us". This act of unintentional devaluing is called splitting. What Reo's essentially doing is going from one extreme to the other: if Nagi isn't his perfect treasure, he's the devil that broke his heart. There's no room for a grey area. The reasoning behind borderline's developing this black-and-white mindset is rooted in self-defense. If Reo devalues Nagi into being nothing more than a traitor, then he's stripping away the power that Nagi has to hurt him. If he looks at him like a rival or a villain, it's protecting him from being hurt by Nagi again.

That doesn't mean that he genuinely believes any of this, more so, he's trying to convince himself that it's true. We see that at his core, the reason he's acting like this is because he's hurt. I'll go more into it later on, but he's constantly thinking, what does Isagi have that I don't? What do I have to do in order to win Nagi back? This black-and-white thinking is an automatic self-defense mechanism that I think he's doing subconsciously. Regardless, the shifting he's doing here can cause a little whiplash, which brings me to:

Varied or random mood swings + Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights:

I can’t think of a better way to describe Reo's temperament than the wiki, so let me quote it: "Generally, he seems to feel every emotion with full force and is extremely aware of his own faults and shortcomings, which is evident in several instances of painful breakdowns shown in the spin-off manga. Due to his high emotionality, he can even get violent when he loses his temper."

Reo is characterized as being emotionally unstable. When he's happy, he's elated! When he's sad, he's miserable. There are a ton of scenes between the manga and spin-off manga that show how fast his emotions can flip, but this one was one of my personal favorites:

In this scene, Reo has developed a little scheme in the dining hall where the guys are trading their side dishes. At face value, a throwaway moment. But, I think it's worth looking at because not only does this show Reo's emotional response being triggered in an opposite, semi-extreme direction, but the root cause for the reaction was that he felt rejected by Zantetsu. In his own weird way, he's asking Zantetsu to come over and hang out with him. He's not being exceptionally clear with that message, but I can still pick up on it. "You wanna join in, don't you?" He's extending the invite, making himself vulnerable, and Zantetsu shoots him down by saying nah, I'm fine with my noodles. Reo JUMPS on him like YOU KNOW WHAT? I TOOK THAT PERSONALLY! lol. Jokes aside, I think this moment is a great one to argue Reo's BPD tendencies because it's such a seemingly mundane interaction. Even Zantetsu is surprised by Reo's random outburst. This also sets up the fact that one of Reo's most obvious triggers is being rejected/abandoned/betrayed, an extremely common one between those of us with BPD.

Other instances of Reo having a bad temper are a lot more obvious. In the match against teams V and Z, Reo straight up elbows Raichi in the throat, and then tries to go throw hands with Kuon for hurting Nagi. He only stops because if he gets into any more fights, he’ll get thrown out of the game and won't be able to play with Nagi anymore. He’s visibly pissed though and calls Team Z a joke. Hell, even Reo himself can recognize on a certain level that he can't control his emotions: they control him. They cloud his judgment and make him react in ways that he wish he didn't.

He is constantly plagued by these extreme emotional reactions that are out of his control. Not to say that people with BPD are unable to ever control their emotions, because we can! It takes time and therapy and practice though, which Reo hasn't had. His lack of regulation is also why he has such a dramatic and extreme meltdown when Nagi abandons him.

Fear of Abandonment:

Reo's biggest trigger and the cause of his inner turmoil throughout Blue Lock is his fear of abandonment. I mentioned before that I think he's had this fear dormant inside of him for a while as so many borderlines do, since he hasn't had the chance to experience it before. He alludes to it early on when they first arrive at Blue Lock:

The thought of leaving Nagi for somebody else? Reo considers that heartless. They came together, after all. They're going to win the world cup together. Nagi could break both of his legs and Reo wouldn't leave him, because again, Reo isn't there to team up with the best player and become the best striker in the world: he's there to play with Nagi!! And, like I said, in Reo's mind it's him and Nagi vs everyone else-

Reo exhibits a lot of signs early on of being jealous while they're playing in Blue Lock. I mean, as we discussed, everything should be focused around him and Nagi. When Nagi passes to Zantetsu in the team V and Y match, Reo pulls up like 'hey, why didn't you pass it to me?? ):' There are a lot of little moments like that, but Reo's jealousy is a lot more relevant to my argument after he gets abandoned by Nagi.

Let's talk about that word: abandoned. It seems dramatic, right? Reo uses that term constantly and exclusively. Every time he brings that moment up, he uses the word 'abandoned', or he'll say 'betrayed' or 'chose'. These are very definitive words. He’s not saying Nagi ditched him or flaked on him or blew him off, no; he has abandoned him. That word choice may seem disproportionate to the situation, but that's Reo's reality. This was the ultimate betrayal to him. The constant use of that vocabulary reiterates that in Reo's mind, there is no grey area. Either Nagi chooses him, or he chooses someone else. In choosing someone else, he abandons Reo. Reo is paranoid that Nagi isn't ever going to come back to him and it's because of something that Reo is lacking. How can Nagi like Isagi more than him, anyway?

Now, I do fault Nagi a bit for not communicating better at that moment. I understand that he's bad at communication, but I don't think Reo could have been more obviously upset if he tried. The dude was in TEARS. Nagi saw him devastated and then expected everything to be fine when he met him in the bathhouse? Idk. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he didn't realize it would upset Reo to such an extreme: maybe he thought that they would miss each other, but Reo wouldn't take it personally. I'm doing my best not to harp on Nagi since this is about Reo.

Abandonment is detrimental to people with BPD. It causes extreme inner turmoil that we see with Reo as the story progresses because it is the only thing he can think about. If he isn't trying to cover up his hurt feelings with this idea of revenge, he's self-destructing over being abandoned. He becomes obsessed with wondering why Nagi chose Isagi over him. Was there something wrong with him? Isagi isn't that impressive, why would Nagi rather be with him? These thoughts torture him endlessly and fuel his desire to 'steal' Nagi back. He literally says to Isagi, that he's going to steal Nagi back. Much to his dismay though, Reo starts to notice that Isagi is bringing out some positive traits in Nagi. Nagi's entire vibe is different with Isagi. Nagi is having fun playing soccer without Reo. In fact, he's having more fun. He's making plays he's never made before. His face is visibly different; he's more excited than before.

This is heartbreaking for Reo. Not only was he right that Isagi did have something to offer Nagi that he couldn't, but Reo is having a massive self-hate spiral during this point as well, so he's internalizing all of his flaws and mistakes while the thought is sitting in the back of his head: did Nagi actually have a good reason for abandoning me? Was I not enough to satisfy him? Did I only drag him down? This gets significantly worse the longer he watches Nagi and Isagi play:

Everything is falling apart. Nagi is doing completely fine without Reo, and Reo is an absolute mess. We're circling back to Reo's lack of identity here as well. He's watching firsthand that he's losing Nagi to Isagi: what does he do? What happens to him if he loses Nagi, who is he without Nagi? He's overwhelmed during this match and at one point Reo literally screams that he's going to tear apart their connection. Jealousy is consuming him, but it's also those feelings of inferiority and wondering if he really did deserve to be abandoned. If Nagi is so happy without him, maybe he really did have a reason. These are the thoughts that are circling around in Reo's head. Not to mention, he is constantly tortured by the flashbacks of Nagi leaving him, which I think is a great detail. Some readers might say it's just pointless recapping but I disagree, I think it's depicting how traumatic that was for Reo. As a borderline, being abandoned by your fp IS traumatic. Reo relives that moment so many times because so many things trigger it for him throughout Blue Lock. He can't even look at Chigiri and Kunigami without thinking about him and Nagi. It's a really devastating experience that quickly deteriorates him emotionally.

Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness + Suicidal behavior or self-injury:

One of my favorite things about Reo is the fact that he is self-aware that he's behaving somewhat irrationally, but he doesn't know how to stop. When we look at one of the several times that Reo is curled up crying over Nagi, he mentions how he really did want to tell Nagi to go and have fun, but he didn't. He couldn't. The visuals shift for this too:

Reo doesnt want to be acting this way, but he can't help it, and that's frustrating to him. It makes him start feeling ashamed of himself. His inner thoughts start to spiral and he feels weak and alone. He's reflecting here on what his true feelings really were at that moment, and how scared and lonely and weak he felt as a result of Nagi leaving him behind.

These feelings quickly evolve into Reo feeling worthless and falling into bouts of self-hatred. He's so ashamed of the way he's feeling and behaving but it feels so out of his control. He says, "maybe if I hadn't gone to Blue Lock in the first place, I wouldn't have to experience this feeling." As I said before, borderline's feel things EXTREMELY intensely; the disorder is described as living with third-degree burns all over your body. Everything hurts. His feelings are so intense and all-consuming right now, it's all he can think about:

I saw some posts in the fandom reddit asking why Reo is acting like this. One in particular reads: "I get that he is betrayed and stuff but he is acting like it’s the end of the world, is it explained later why he acts like this? Is it because he doesn’t think he can win without Nagi?" Not to call this person out, I just want to answer the question in this post-

It has nothing to do with winning; it was never about winning. It was always about Nagi.

If we're looking at Reo through the borderline lens, it IS the end of the world for him. Nagi was his world. What's worse, he's fully aware that he's not acting rationally and he doesn't know why, which is making him feel ashamed and weak and embarrassed. Now I know why he's acting like this, but there are no Blue Lock psychiatrists sitting around to wack him with the mood stabilizers or the DBT handbook, so he's gonna stay feeling like a monster.

He lets these thoughts, along with the resentment and anger from being abandoned in the first place, fuel him for the second selection match. As he's watching the game play out, as Nagi is about to score the winning goal, Reo's mind starts racing with intrusive, negative thoughts.

He's praying that Nagi fails, that he gives up, that he stops trying, anything to stop that solidifying moment where he scores the winning goal and proves once and for all that not only was Reo not strong enough to stop him, but Nagi doesn't need him anymore. He catches himself really quickly, because he realizes he's sounding just like his parents. Everything is spinning out of control so bad, Reo wants Nagi to end up in a vulnerable position so that he isn't the only one falling apart. As he catches himself thinking this, he's disgusted with himself. He calls himself 'utter trash', and as he watches Nagi score the winning goal, he falls to his knees, wishing he was dead.

As he sits there decomposing in emotional turmoil and suicidal ideation, Nagi's team chooses Chigiri to join them, and it's the nail in the coffin. This is probably Reo's lowest point in the entire story IMO. Nagi comes up to compliment him on his plays and Reo shows us another classic borderline move: he's anticipating how bad it's going to hurt to be abandoned by Nagi again, so he's trying to push him away before it can happen. We see the dichotomy of his spoken words and inner thoughts here, where he's talking big game to Nagi, saying things like 'you clearly don't care about me anymore, you're throwing me away, if you're going to abandon me just do it properly', while internally he's thinking 'I'm the worst, I wish I was dead, please take this bait and break my heart so that I can self destruct in peace'.

i LOVE the visuals during this moment. This is what Reo thinks is his last line of defense, the last thing he can do to preserve any part of his dignity is to make Nagi hate him so that he'll stop throwing these crumbs of affection at him. It's also really telling that despite his switch in behavior and the devaluing of Nagi, the root of all of that is STILL that he was so hurt by the abandonment.

I don't think I need to analyze the suicidal ideation because he just straight up says he wants to die like three times in this scene but, aside from that, the visual of his inner thoughts vs what he's actually saying is so powerful. Not to mention the chameleon imagery which i'll geek out about in a second, this is another example of his black and white thinking along with the reiteration that being abandoned was literally traumatic for Reo: he says they can never go back to what they were before. Speaking as a borderline, this is painfully true. When people break my trust even in a small way, I can never view them the same as I used to. I can forgive them and let it go, but I'll never be as open with them as I once was. In Reo's shoes, he had Nagi up on this pedestal that he was perfect and would never do anything to hurt him, but he did hurt him (in the worst way possible).

After Nagi tells him he's a pain in the ass and that he doesn't care anymore, Reo thanks him for 'finishing him off'. In his mind, they're done now and he can suffer in peace and quiet without dragging Nagi down anymore.

Bonus Point: The Chameleon Effect

I LOVE THE FACT THAT HIS THING IS CHAMELEONS AHHHH

The chameleon imagery with Reo makes me INSANE dude. As I mentioned towards the beginning of this post, a part of borderline that is seldom talked about is the tendency to take on 'the chameleon effect', or mirror the people around them. REO'S ENTIRE THING IS CHAMELEONS LIKE BFFR ?? That image where he was trying to get Nagi to hate him, was before he even started using his chameleon style, it was just something the authors thought was necessary to include during Reo's mental breakdown. Aside from the cool imagery, his chameleon style is a reflection of his relationship with Nagi. He gets called a jack of all trades and a master of none early on in reference to how when he’s without Nagi, hes not really exceptional at anything. He never really took the time to master one specific thing because he was always so concerned with helping Nagi. This rings my BPD bell for a couple reasons: first of all, when you have no sense of identity and you’re worried it means you have no real personality ?? Steal one!! Take the closest person to you and copy that one. That’s something us baddies know VERY well. Also, think there’s something about you that your fp doesn’t like? Change it! You can morph into anything they want as long as it means they won’t leave you !! :*) Before he makes up with Nagi, he copies moves in hopes that it'll make him stronger and appear more desirable to Nagi. After they make up, he copies whoever he has to so that he can get Nagi to that goal and make himself useful, make himself somebody that Nagi wants to have around. It is a literal direct metaphor for him changing anything and everything about himself for Nagi and graaaahhhh it’s so cool

Reonagi ?? Some thoughts-

I want to close this yap session with my thoughts on Reonagi as a ship. I do think that they can work and I want to make that clear. I'm not on board with the 'borderlines arent capable of having loving and fulfilling relationships' crap. That being said, they both have to put in a bit of effort. Reo has already recognized a lot of his own issues. He admits that he was wrong for pushing his ideals onto Nagi, that he needs to let Nagi grow and be his own person, etc. Nagi really hasn't accepted any fault. I stand by the fact that Nagi needs to be more sensitive with Reo. Way too often when a relationship like this fails, all the blame is put on the one with borderline. I'm gonna be the outlier here and say that if Nagi cares about Reo, he needs to learn about Reo's triggers and be mindful of them. I'm not saying that since Reo is sensitive to abandonment that Nagi should just isolate himself from everybody else, but what I am saying is that when he's going to do something that doesn't involve Reo, he needs to learn how to communicate that he still loves and values Reo. "I'm gonna go play soccer with this person right now, but I haven't forgotten about our promise. When I come back, we can play together. I still love you and I'm not going to leave you for whoever tf I'm playing with rn." (sneaking that 'i love you' in bc like..they're literally canon at this point asdfghjkll) But, I do think that Nagi loves Reo and cares about him in his own way. The two of them just have to keep working on their communication skills. Nagi has the potential to have a hot rich husband who will literally bend over backward for him and buy him all the robux he could ever want, he's gotta put in a shred of effort!

I also like to think that Nagi didn’t totally get the fact that Reo doesn’t gaf about just playing soccer. Nagi thinks soccer is what they do together, it’s what makes reo happy, right? He’s always pushing him to train harder and take the game more seriously because he likes the sport, RIGHT? It would make perfect sense to go play with isagi so that he can get better at soccer and come back to reo a more improved player. Maybe that’s why he was surprised when Reo was so mad in the bathhouse, bc he wasn’t making the connection that Reo cares more about him than soccer. That Reo puts all that energy into him playing soccer because he thinks it’s something that they can have as their own, and once Nagi notices how good he is, he’ll start enjoying it and the two of them can hold hands and run around the soccer pitch!! I think Nagi missed that part tbh, and I don’t think he know that even now in the story. Maybe Reo doesn’t even notice it.

Anyway, a shameless plug to my reonagi playlist if that's your thing (i cooked with this one, i fear) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5CsvSqmuI4cxOl1nTaV4GJ?si=737a0f21e0bd482a

Closing Thoughts:

Reo is a bpd baddie and I love him very much. I think he's a sensitive guy with a lot of feelings who would benefit from taking time to work through his trauma and his emotions. I hope that he eventually is able to build an identity for himself that doesn't involve Nagi, but baby steps, I suppose. I think Reo is a great balance of positive and negative borderline traits and he reads as a really believable and sympathetic character. He is, however, definitely that friend that you have to slap to stop them from running back to their ex.

Jokes aside though, BPD can be extremely hard to live with, even more so when it's undiagnosed and untreated. If someone you love has BPD, take the time to read up on it and do your best to understand them. I promise you, it will mean the world to them.

If you managed to get this far, thank you for reading! This was a messy stream of consciousness and I appreciate your support by listening.

#blue lock #reo mikage #reonagi #nagireo #nagi seishiro #bpd

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gibberishfangirl · 5 months ago

Note

I didn't see if your requests are open so if they are closed, please ignore this message. I would like to request furin boys + togame by going to the reader's house in the morning and being greeted by the reader with a sleepy face, a men's shirt that doesn't belong to the boys and being hugged from behind by another guy when, in fact, it's just the reader's gay friend who went for a girls' night out and everything really was just a misunderstanding 😁

WIND BREAKER | misunderstandings

Synopsis ✰ what happens when a misunderstanding occurs between the two of you involving another guy

Characters ✰ Haruka Sakura, Hajime Umemiya, Hayato Suo, Akihiko Nirei, Jo Togame

Contains ✰ sfw! some violence, everything’s resolved at the end, mistakes, misunderstandings, content of the boys reacting differently to the situation

★ hands thrown immediately, pray you or your friend have fast reflexes enough to break up the fight from truly escalating. he reacts now, asks questions later. quite literally gets blindsided by their emotions and doesn’t think straight ★

-> Haruka Sakura ᡣ𐭩

Sakura couldn’t even wrap his head around the situation. all he saw was you in a shirt that wasn’t his with a guy who wasn’t him either. his body reacted quicker than his mind could’ve, before any of you even knew it he walked past you and immediately shoved your friend into the ground away from you. your body jolted as all your tiredness disappeared from the commotion. you had to jump in front of your friend to prevent Sakura from doing more. “wait Sakura! it’s not like that.” is all you could manage to get out as Sakura paused confused by your words. you explained what happened the previous night to him and he was quickly embarrassed by his reaction. of course he offered an apology to your friend, which he didn’t truly mean since you still wore a shirt that wasn’t his. after your friend left, the two of you had a conversation where you reassured him that you would never do something like that to him.

-> Jo Togame ᡣ𐭩

Togame was already having a rough morning, which is the reason why he went to your house. he just wanted to see you so his day can get better. at least, that’s what he thought he needed until someone who wasn’t you opened your door. at first he assumed that he must’ve gotten the wrong house but that was debunked as he saw your figure pop up behind the guy. all he had to do was take one look at you and than your friend for all these crazy assumptions to enter his mind. he grabbed your friend by the collar of his shirt and slammed him against the wall before flinging a fist into his direction. you had to pry Togame off of him and once you did he left before you could even explain yourself. you caught him later that day to explain what happened and why your friend was there. of course you were furious with him because of the way he reacted and he understood why. you both understood each others perspective and apologized to one another after that you both apologized to your friend for getting caught in the crossfire.

★ skeptical but proceeds with caution, he knows you would never do anything to hurt him. he tries to keep a clear mind and asks what happens as calmly as possible ★

-> Hayato Suo ᡣ𐭩

Suo’s not a violent person for the most part… he knows better than to respond with violence or blow up. what he also knows is that you would never do anything to hurt him. especially not anything that involves cheating or being unfaithful. he simply asks what happens and you two explain the chaotic night you had. Suo wasn’t necessarily thrilled about the outcome since he would’ve preferred to be the one who went home with you. he politely asked that next time you just call him when you’re in trouble or need to get home. he’s very understanding and nice about everything.

-> Hajime Umemiya ᡣ𐭩

Umemiya’s a rational person, he has to be. That doesn’t mean he has to like what he sees, he dislikes it but won’t react before getting a response as to what is even happening. not to mention, he trusts you so much. “hey, what’s going on?” are the only words that leave his mouth after entering your house. after you explained what happened he’s relieved that it wasn’t what it seemed. however, his first time meeting your friend was a bit awkward due to the situation itself. he still wished you would’ve called him instead to go get you from your hang out with friends. he would’ve made sure you got home safely. don’t be surprised if he comes back to your house the next day with a bunch of his spare tees so you can use them as sleeping shirts from now on.

★ emotional wreck, walks out without wanting to hear an explanation. genuinely feels so much heartbreak and doesn’t know what to think ★

-> Akihiko Nirei ᡣ𐭩

Nirei took one look at the two of you and instantly walked out. he felt his heart shatter right in that moment as soon as you opened the door. his entire day went from 100 to 0 in a matter of seconds. you tried to call out for him but he ignored you and proceeded to walk away. you had to move fast in order to catch up to him to explain yourself. you found him eventually on the side of the road clearly upset. “Nirei. it wasn’t like that, i swear.” fortunately enough for you he was willing to listen. poor guy was definitely caught up in his own mind, he always felt like he wasn’t good enough for you and after seeing how you looked like with someone else he convinced himself it was true. you went the extra mile to reassure him nothing like that would ever happen.

-> Haruka Sakura ᡣ𐭩

Sakura was furious. he was angry, upset, sad, frustrated, and most importantly he felt betrayed. he was used to being outcasted and hated by those around him. he was used to everyone treating him poorly but he thought you were different. he felt stupid for thinking someone out there could have loved him or wasn’t like everyone else in some way or another. you couldn’t find him after he left, in fact he went pretty much m.i.a. since the incident. it took some convincing but he agreed to meet up with you so you can explain what happened. you felt bad that you had accidentally triggered him in that way. the two of you had a long conversation about everything and managed to work things out. he was a bit shy after being so vulnerable about his feelings but it helped you two create a deeper bond with one another.

a/n <3 : hope you enjoy this one! hopefully i did your request justice :’D i did two for Sakura simply just because i feel like his reaction can go either way. as for Togame, that man’s throwing hands regardless of how his morning is going. i also decided to try out a new format for these kind of scenarios, lmk if you guys like it? :)

#divider by anitalenia #hajime umemiya #hajime umemiya x reader #hayato suo #suo hayato x reader #nirei akihiko #nirei akihiko x reader #jo togame #jo togame x reader #sakura haruka #sakura haruka x reader

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mazeinthemiroh · 2 years ago

Note

Hi can you do skz reaction to there s/o skipping meals if you haven't already thank you ❤️

stray kids reaction to their s/o skipping meals

genre: hurt / comfort, slight angst

warnings: mentions of food, skipping meals, indicated eating disorder - reader's discretion is advised!

bangchan

would be really concerned. he's prone to not taking care of himself as much in the past, so he sees the signs of you not taking care of yourself in certain aspects of your lifestyle. he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable by bringing it up, but he keeps a close eye on you. every time you visit him in the studio, for instance, and he hears your stomach rumbling, knowing you haven't eaten, he will suggest having a lunch date together <3

minho

he knows. he just knows. his mind is automatically occupied with your health and he constantly asks you if you have eaten well. you lie to his face and he knows it. a frown would appear on his features as he realises this is more than just a little habit of yours. will always encourage you to eat well and stay healthy. physically feeds you. "go 'ah' " and opens his mouth wide for you to mimic him because he loves babying you :(

changbin

it's when he can't think of the last time you actually ate a meal... yeah, then he starts to clock onto it. he will have you still down with him and have a serious conversation about it because all he wants is for you to be healthy and happy, and with you skipping meals, it is clear you are not either of those things. the subject gets him quite emotional because he wants to take all your problems away all at once but he knows he can't :(

hyunjin

at first, when you reject his offer to get some food for you, he doesn't think much of it. but then it happens again. and again. and then again. and soon he's got alarm bells ringing in his brain as he realises you go on days without having a full meal. he makes sure you know how much he loves you and how against this he is. because he just wants you to be happy with yourself and not have the need to feel empty.

jisung

jisungie would get super pouty when he notices you reject his food offers despite your stomach rumbling like a volcano. he'll gently be holding you close and feed you himself, or at least get you to try a little bit of his meal. baby steps. he's extremely gentle and caring in this situation; he definitely knows not to push you too far or hard, seemingly to find the right balance between soft and stern.

felix

felix knows too. he's struggled with food in the past. so he knows almost immediately that you have a problem. he can relate to what you're going through which makes him the perfect person to talk to you about this and help you through it. he hates seeing you struggling with eating and feeling bad about yourself. his main goal in life is for you to be happy and confident in yourself, and he's not going to rest until that happens.

seungmin

seungmin's go-to date idea is simply going to a restaurant or staying in, to get a takeaway. he can be a traditional guy, so why not? however, each time he suggests doing something like this, you always turn it down, saying something along the lines of you not being comfortable. seungmin's prying eyes seem to get you to end up telling him that you've been skipping meals. he'll hold your hand and listen to your reasonings, telling you he's going to support you through this.

jeongin

jeongin it's a lot. and he remembers a time when you used to indulge his behaviour by eating a good meal yourself. he made sure you were well fed, never hungry. but nowadays, you struggle to eat a small snack, let alone a big meal. seeing you go from eating a healthy, normal amount to barely anything at all breaks his heart. he will mention it a couple of times, but most of the time he's coming up with ways to try and feed you.

skz taglist: @hearts4sungie, @seokshineswiftie, @alyszaen, @jtrstp, @a-wandering-stay, @hyungenie5, @anyamaris, @acciocriativity, @chammak-challokys, @whatisnttakenbynow

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maomiieee · 5 months ago

Text

Abuser husband x dying reader

Your husband always abused you. He even throws punches at your face till it got bleed. You beg him to stop it, but he explodes more in anger and hits you more. You can't even want to let him go because you LOVE him.

You still endure the pain and suffering he gives you. You still cooks for him. Waits for him to come home after work. He always pissed after his work. He's a short tempared guy who can't hold his anger properly.

But you still endure it.

After all, he's still your husband.

When you found out you're pregnant, he got out rages. He told you to get abortion. But you don't want to. It's your child and you want it. But things gotbad when he forcefully make you get abortion.

You cried all day after getting abortion and he still don't care.

Months, years pasts by enduring his abuseness till one day you find out you had cancer.

When your husband heared the news, he felt like someone stabbed his heart with a dagger. This can't be true right? You can't die!

You are shocked to see him react like that. You thought he would be happy about that. How can a abuser like him getting sad and emotional.

You almost laghed by see his reaction. How could you laugh when you are dying?! Look! Your husband is scared to lose you!

But why? Why he's showing his emotion now!! Why!?! He is the reason you are in this situation!!

He can't even do anything after he realized what he had done.

He finally felt ashamed of himself. He finally understood what he's losing. But his heart shattered more after found out you have only ONE YEAR to live.

He will be better husband till the time he have with you. He'll try!!

For the time he had with you he starts being caring. He showers with kisses, tells how beautiful you are, always cuddles you on bed. Heck, he also brushes your hair and try different styles on it.

You felt good to get this side of him. You wished you wanted to stay longer but it shattered as one year passed like water in sea.

He's clinging on your lifeless body on bed as he's sobbing loudly. He's apoliging over and over again that's he is sorry for abused you in the past and wants you back. But the fate can't be changed.

You should never hurt your loved ones. They are also a human like you. They also loves you. You shouldn't put all you anger and frustation on them.

#x reader #tw abuse #emotional #husband x reader

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rafesapologist · 9 months ago

Text

the set up — rafe cameron; part twenty one

summary: you've been one of the pogues since childhood, and your loyalty has always lied within your friend group, who is practically your family. when a threat by the name of rafe cameron begins to threaten the pogue's plans, they assign you to gain the trust of the dubious kook and keep an eye on what he's up to. however, now it's been six months since your friends set you up to spy on the kook prince himself, but what you didn't anticipate was to fall head over heels for the boy. your relationship had soon become inviolable shortly after your guys' first exchanges, much to your friends' dismay, and you two became practically inseperable. that was, until rafe discovers the truth.

warnings: angst, swearing, mentions of alcohol, topper

Rafe's eyes fixated on the flickering flames of the bonfire as Topper and Kelce chatted beside him. The distant roar of the ocean served as a backdrop to the lively conversations around the beach. Topper, oblivious to Rafe's internal turmoil, casually mentioned, "Hey, it feels like I haven't seen Y/N in forever. What's she been up to?"

Kelce, always one for gossip, chimed in with a teasing smile, "Maybe she finally realized she's too good for the likes of us."

Rafe, lost in his own thoughts, absentmindedly took a swig from his drink, the liquid burning down his throat. The mention of your name sent a jolt through him, but he masked his reaction with a nonchalant demeanor. In reality, he hadn't stopped thinking about you, but the pain of the past had kept him from reaching out. The familiar ache in his chest intensified as he drowned his thoughts in the numbing embrace of alcohol. The bonfire's glow reflected in his troubled eyes as he struggled to reconcile the reality of your absence from his life.

As Rafe continued to nurse his drink, his gaze involuntarily wandered back to Sofia in the distance. The laughter and animated gestures of her friends painted a stark contrast to the turmoil within him. His mind replayed the unexpected encounter with you, the image of your radiant presence etched in his memory.

He took another swig from his drink, the burn of the alcohol providing a temporary distraction from the ache in his chest. Rafe's thoughts lingered on the details of your appearance—your longer hair, your sun-kissed skin. The subtle changes hadn't escaped his notice, and he found himself wondering about the reasons behind them. The sight of you had left an indelible mark, stirring a mix of emotions that he struggled to untangle. The once-familiar warmth he associated with you clashed with the icy reality of the present, leaving him disoriented and consumed by a cocktail of conflicting feelings.

"She's probably screwing Maybank now," Topper's casual pat on Rafe's back jolted him back to the present, disrupting the fragile sanctuary of his thoughts. The joke about you and JJ fell on his ears like a lead weight, and Rafe couldn't shake the tension that crept into his muscles. He managed a half-hearted laugh, but his gaze shifted from the fire to the crowd, scanning for any sign of you and JJ.

The idea that you could be with JJ, even if it was just a joke, stirred an unsettling mix of jealousy and regret within Rafe. He tried to dismiss the thought, reminding himself of the complexities that had led to your separation. However, the flicker of doubt lingered in the recesses of his mind, casting shadows over the flames that danced before him. The bonfire's warmth offered no solace to the internal turmoil that threatened to consume him.

"I mean she seemed pretty close to him even when her and Rafe were dating, so I wouldn't doubt it," Kelce's agreement with Topper's joke landed heavily on Rafe's ears, and an uncomfortable dryness settled in his throat. The casual banter felt like an unexpected blow, a reminder of the uncertainties surrounding your current situation. Even though Rafe tried to hide it, the subtle undercurrents of tension and longing painted an intricate mosaic of emotions on his face.

The flames of the bonfire danced wildly, mirroring the tempestuous thoughts raging within Rafe. He took another swig of his drink, attempting to drown out the rising tide of emotions that threatened to engulf him. The night, once full of anticipation, now felt like a merciless unraveling of suppressed feelings.

As Rafe rose from his seat, the disquietude within him became palpable. He excused himself with a hurried cough, a facade of normalcy failing to mask the turmoil brewing beneath the surface. Sofia was the anchor he sought in this sea of emotions, an attempt to regain composure and escape the incessant echoes of your presence. With determination etched on his face, Rafe navigated through the crowd, each step carrying the weight of unspoken words and unresolved feelings.

"Hey, where have you been?" Sofia turned around, a bright smile illuminating her face as she greeted Rafe. The warm camaraderie between them was evident, but Rafe's eyes betrayed a subtle urgency. He took another swig from his drink, the casual gesture belying the turmoil within.

"Hey, been around, you know how it is," he replied nonchalantly, trying to keep the conversation light. But then, his gaze intensified as he asked, "Have you seen Y/N? I thought she might be around here somewhere."

Sofia's expression shifted, catching the undercurrent of Rafe's inquiry. "Oh, Y/N! Yeah, she was here a while ago, but I think she left with JJ. They seemed in a hurry. Everything okay?"

The words hit Rafe like a punch to the gut. The revelation stung, and he could feel the facade of composure cracking. "Yeah, yeah, just curious," he mumbled, avoiding Sofia's eyes as he continued nursing his drink, the weight of the moment settling in.

The distant sound of laughter and chatter blended into a muffled buzz as Rafe's thoughts swirled in a tempest of emotions. Sofia's voice became an indistinct murmur as he gulped down his drink with a rapid, almost desperate, intensity. The liquid burned on its way down, but it provided a fleeting distraction from the turmoil within.

Anger simmered beneath the surface, a turbulent undercurrent to the steady rhythm of the bonfire crackling nearby. Each gulp was a futile attempt to drown out the echoing questions in his mind. Why did you leave with JJ? What did it mean? Did it matter?

His jaw clenched, and he resisted the urge to throw the empty cup into the flames. Instead, he lowered it slowly, his gaze fixed on the flickering fire, the dance of the flames mirroring the tumult of emotions within him.

"Gonna go grab another drink," With a strained smile, Rafe excused himself from Sofia and her friends, his movements deliberate yet detached. He navigated through the lively crowd, the distant hum of conversation and laughter forming an inconsequential backdrop to the storm brewing in his mind.

As he approached the makeshift bar, he could feel the weight of eyes on him, the warmth of the bonfire casting flickering shadows across his face. With a curt nod to the person manning the drinks, he grabbed another cup and poured himself another shot.

The fiery liquid burned down his throat, momentarily eclipsing the nagging thoughts that clung to him like persistent shadows. Rafe's gaze remained fixated on the undulating flames, a silent battle playing out within him. The liquor was a fleeting ally, offering a temporary respite from the relentless questions that clawed at the edges of his consciousness.

The glow of the bonfire reflected in Rafe's eyes as he hesitated, his thumb hovering over your contact name on his phone. He felt a surge of emotions battling within him—anger, longing, regret. For a few agonizing seconds, he stared at your name, the memories of your time together flooding his mind.

His internal struggle intensified. Part of him wanted to reach out, to hear your voice, to bridge the chasm that had grown between you. Another part resisted, fearing the pain and uncertainty that might accompany such a conversation. Rafe clenched his jaw, the internal conflict etched on his face as he grappled with the decision.

In the end, uncertainty won. With a heavy sigh, he locked his phone, the screen fading to black as he once again drowned his thoughts in the fiery solace of alcohol.

───────────────

The night air was filled with a mix of the ocean breeze and the aroma of the blunt you and JJ shared. Sitting on the steps of the chateau, you curled your knees up to your chest, finding a small sense of comfort in the night sky. Your gaze fixed on the moon, its pale glow casting a soft light over the surroundings.

JJ took a drag from the blunt, the sweet scent of cannabis lingering in the air. The sound of waves crashing against the shore created a rhythmic backdrop to the heavy silence that hung between you two. It was a moment of solace, an attempt to escape the tumultuous emotions stirred up by the unexpected encounter with Rafe.

As you exhaled a plume of smoke, you broke the silence. "I never expected to see him with someone else, especially Sofia," you confessed, your voice laced with a mixture of sadness and disbelief.

JJ nodded, his eyes reflecting understanding. "Yeah, that's a tough pill to swallow. But you know, people change. Circumstances change. Doesn't mean it's easy, though."

The words hung in the air, carrying the weight of the unspoken pain that both of you felt. The complex web of emotions surrounding Rafe, Sofia, and the past seemed to entangle you in an intricate dance of heartache.

Taking another drag, you leaned back against the steps, staring at the moon as if seeking solace from the celestial body. The tranquility of the night provided a temporary escape, a brief respite from the storm of emotions swirling within you.

JJ reached over, offering you the blunt. "Maybe things will get better, you know? It's like a fucked-up rollercoaster, but sometimes you gotta ride it out to get to the other side."

You took the blunt from him, the shared gesture a silent acknowledgment of the camaraderie between you two. The night continued its quiet vigil, the chateau standing as a silent witness to the unfolding chapters of your intertwined lives.

Your tired eyes met JJ's, and with a heavy sigh, you confessed, "I wish things could go back to the way they were before any of this happened. Before the secrets, the pain, before everything fell apart."

JJ took a thoughtful drag from the blunt, his eyes reflecting empathy. "Yeah, I get that. But you can't change the past, no matter how much you want to. All we can do is figure out how to navigate the present and hope for a better future."

There was a weighty silence as his words lingered in the air, the truth of them sinking in. The night wrapped around you, holding the shared vulnerability in the quiet space between conversations.

You stared into the distance, feeling the cool night air against your skin. The chateau, once a symbol of carefree moments and laughter, now stood as a silent witness to the complexities of relationships and the scars they leave behind.

JJ's gaze softened, and he gently rubbed your back in a comforting manner. "You've been handling all of this better than you give yourself credit for, you know? It takes strength to face the aftermath of a mess like this. You're doing better than you think, Y/N."

His words held a sincerity that offered a glimmer of solace, a reminder that amidst the chaos, there was someone who saw your resilience. The subtle warmth of his hand on your back, coupled with his reassuring words, provided a momentary reprieve from the turmoil within.

You chuckled, a bitter edge to the sound. "It just feels like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders."

JJ looked at you with understanding in his eyes. "I get it, Y/N. It's a lot to carry, especially when everything feels like it's falling apart. But you don't have to carry it all on your own. You've got people here for you, including me."

He paused for a moment, letting his words sink in before adding, "And hey, tonight wasn't easy for you. Seeing Rafe with someone else after all this time… I can't imagine how tough that was."

The shared understanding between you and JJ was a silent acknowledgment of the pain that lingered in the air, a pain that words could only touch the surface of.

"Yeah, seeing your ex with your co-worker, it's like a special kind of torture," you remarked, your voice tinged with bitterness. The bitter taste of reality mixed with the smoke of the blunt hung in the air as you continued, "I guess I deserve it, though, right? Karma or whatever."

JJ took a drag from the blunt, exhaling slowly before passing it back to you. "Y/N, you don't deserve any of this. Life's just been throwing a bunch of crap our way lately."

He placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, a silent gesture of support that spoke volumes. The night enveloped both of you in a blanket of darkness, punctuated by the distant sounds of laughter and music from the bonfire at the boneyard. In that moment, leaning against each other on the steps, it felt like a small sanctuary away from the turmoil that had become your lives.

With a faint smile, JJ extended his hand towards you. You reluctantly took JJ's hand, allowing him to help you up. The effects of the night were taking their toll, and the weight on your shoulders felt even heavier. As you stood, JJ wrapped an arm around your shoulders, offering silent support.

"Yeah, you're right," you mumbled, your voice barely above a whisper. "Thanks for being here, JJ."

He squeezed your shoulders reassuringly. "Always, Y/N. Let's get you some rest."

Together, you made your way back into the chateau, leaving behind the night and its echoes of painful encounters. The door closed softly behind you, muffling the sounds of the outside world.

As you closed the door behind you, the silence of your room enveloped you. The events of the night weighed heavily on your mind, and you couldn't shake off the vivid image of Rafe with Sofia. The room felt emptier than ever, and the solitude pressed down on you.

You changed into your sleepwear, the fabric feeling cool against your skin. Crawling into bed, you stared at the ceiling, lost in your thoughts. The night's events replayed in your mind like a relentless loop, and sleep seemed elusive.

Tossing and turning, you tried to find a comfortable position. The soft glow from the moon spilled through your window, casting a gentle illumination in the room. Eventually, exhaustion overcame your racing thoughts, and you drifted into a fitful slumber.

The chateau, usually a place of comfort, felt unfamiliar. The bed that once cradled shared laughter and whispered secrets now seemed too large, too empty. The room echoed with the lingering emotions of the past, and as you closed your eyes, the boundary between dreams and reality blurred.

In the ethereal realm of dreams, you found yourself in a familiar and comforting place. The soft glow of a lamp illuminated Rafe's room, casting a warm ambiance that enveloped you both. The scent of his cologne lingered in the air, creating a sense of intimacy that transcended the boundaries of the waking world.

You were nestled against Rafe, the two of you sharing a quiet moment on his bed. The rhythmic hum of the television played in the background, its glow illuminating the room with a soft flicker. Laughter erupted between you, a harmonious melody that echoed through the dreamlike space.

Rafe's arm was draped around you, pulling you closer as you both reveled in the simplicity of the moment. The weight of the world lifted, and the connection you once shared seemed to rekindle in this dreamy haven. The touch of his fingers tracing absentminded patterns on your arm sent shivers down your spine, and the genuine joy in his laughter echoed like a soothing lullaby.

As the dream unfolded, the outside world faded away, and for a fleeting moment, it felt like time itself had paused to allow you to savor the stolen fragments of happiness. The dream encapsulated a bittersweet nostalgia, a stark contrast to the harsh reality that awaited you when morning inevitably arrived.

Little did you know, the dream held its secrets close, masking the ephemeral illusion from the conscious mind that yearned for a respite from the ache that lingered in the waking hours.

───────────────

The morning light spilled through your window, casting a golden glow across your room. Despite the sun's attempt to bring warmth, the heaviness in your heart lingered, and the bitter fog of reality settled around you like a persistent shadow.

With a reluctant sigh, you forced yourself to sit up, the weight of the previous night's encounters clinging to your every thought. The dream, though a temporary escape, was now just a fleeting memory, leaving you grappling with the harsh truth of the present.

As you moved through the motions of the morning, the world outside seemed to carry on as if nothing had changed. Birds chirped in the distance, and the distant hum of life continued, but within the confines of your own emotional landscape, a storm brewed.

Each step felt like an uphill climb, and the simple act of getting out of bed became a monumental task. The remnants of the dream lingered, teasing you with echoes of a reality that seemed increasingly distant.

You caught your reflection in the mirror, and for a moment, you studied the weariness in your eyes. The events of the previous night had left their mark, etching lines of sorrow and longing on your face.

JJ's presence in the kitchen, flipping pancakes with a carefree demeanor, brought a bittersweet nostalgia. The aroma of breakfast filled the air, reminiscent of mornings spent with Rafe, whose declaration of love had once echoed in the same space.

Your lips curved into a small, melancholic smile as you took a seat at the table. The contrast between then and now hung in the air, the scent of pancakes carrying both the warmth of memories and the ache of their absence.

JJ, absorbed in his pancake-flipping task, glanced over at you with a lighthearted grin. "Morning," he greeted, a hint of concern in his eyes as he noticed the subtle change in your expression.

"Morning," you replied, your smile lingering as you appreciated the effort JJ put into creating a sense of normalcy. The echoes of the past lingered, and yet, in this moment, you found solace in the companionship of a friend determined to bring a bit of joy to your morning.

As the pancakes sizzled on the griddle, you allowed the bittersweet memories to wash over you, momentarily lost in the intricate dance between past and present.

"Are you scheduled to work with me today?" you asked, breaking the trance of your thoughts and returning to the present.

JJ, still flipping pancakes, shook his head. "Nah, I'm off today. Figured I'd whip up some breakfast for us."

JJ's carefree demeanor faltered for a moment as he listened to your words. The realization that you were scheduled to work while he enjoyed a day off hung in the air, a stark reminder of the challenges life had thrown your way.

"Hey," he said gently, turning his attention away from the pancakes. "You don't have to go if you don't want to. We can figure something out."

You sighed, appreciating the offer but feeling the weight of responsibility pressing down on you. "I appreciate it, JJ, but I can't just bail on work. Bills don't pay themselves."

JJ's expression tightened, an empathetic frown forming on his face. "I know, Y/N. But sometimes, you gotta take a break for yourself. You've been through a lot lately."

The sincerity in his words tugged at your heart, and for a moment, you considered the idea of taking a break. The weight of the world seemed a bit lighter when shared with a friend who genuinely cared.

Taking a bite of the pancake, you sighed and looked at JJ, a sense of vulnerability in your eyes. "I don't know how I'm gonna handle work today, JJ. I just... I can't imagine being around Sofia after what happened last night."

JJ nodded in understanding, chewing thoughtfully. "Yeah, I get that. It's gonna be tough, but you've got this."

You let out a frustrated exhale. "I just wish things could go back to how they were, you know? Simple and uncomplicated."

JJ's expression softened, and he reached across the table to give your hand a reassuring squeeze. "I know, Y/N. I wish that for you too. But we'll get through this, alright? One day at a time."

His words offered a glimmer of comfort, and you managed a small smile. "Thanks, JJ. I appreciate you being here for me."

"No problem, kiddo. We're in this together," JJ replied, his gaze warm and supportive. The weight of the upcoming day lingered, but for that moment, the camaraderie between you and JJ provided a much-needed anchor.

Once you finished the remainder of your pancakes, you hurriedly changed into your waitress uniform, the fabric feeling strangely foreign against your skin. Each step felt like a chore, and the knot in your stomach tightened as you thought about facing the day. With a rushed goodbye to JJ, you headed out the door, the cool air doing little to ease the tension that gripped you. As you approached your car, you took a deep breath, bracing yourself for the challenges that awaited you at work.

You sat in your car for a few moments, the engine humming softly, contemplating the day ahead. The drive to work had passed in a blur, and now the reality of facing everyone at the restaurant loomed ahead. You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for whatever emotions and challenges awaited you inside. With a sigh, you opened the car door and stepped out, determined to navigate through the day as best as you could.

Sofia's cheerful greeting caught you off guard as you entered the restaurant. A forced smile appeared on your face as you reciprocated the greeting, trying your best to maintain a friendly demeanor despite the turbulent emotions swirling within you.

Sofia's voice rang out, pulling you away from your thoughts. "Hey there! I was wondering where you disappeared to last night. The bonfire was just getting started," she said, her tone friendly but curious.

You managed a small smile, trying to play off your early exit. "Yeah, I just needed some quiet time, you know? The crowd was a bit much for me," you explained, hoping to brush off any further inquiries.

Sofia tilted her head, a glint of curiosity in her eyes. "Everything okay, Y/N? You seemed a bit off. Did something happen?"

You debated how much to share, not wanting to delve into the complicated emotions of seeing Rafe with Sofia. "Nah, just one of those nights. Sometimes you just need to recharge solo," you replied, hoping she wouldn't dig any deeper.

Sofia nodded, seeming to accept your explanation. "Fair enough. Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. We all are," she offered, her friendly demeanor shining through.

"Thanks, Sofia. I appreciate that," you replied, grateful for her kindness.

Sofia's voice caught you off guard once more, this time steering the conversation in a different direction. "Hey, quick question," she began, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "Is there something going on between you and JJ?"

You blinked, surprised by the unexpected question. "Uh, no, why do you ask?" you replied, trying to sound casual.

She leaned in a bit, lowering her voice conspiratorially. "Oh, I don't know. I just noticed you two seem pretty close, always together and all. People are starting to talk, you know?" Sofia added with a sly grin.

You couldn't help but chuckle nervously. "No, Sofia, JJ and I are just good friends. Nothing more," you clarified, hoping to dispel any potential rumors.

She raised an eyebrow playfully. "Just friends, huh? Well, you two certainly spend a lot of time together. Anyway, just thought I'd ask. Gossip has a way of spreading around here," she teased before heading back to her duties.

As Sofia left, you couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that the workplace dynamics were shifting, and the last thing you needed was more complications. The weight of Sofia's words lingered in the air, a subtle annoyance gnawing at you. It wasn't just the insinuations about you and JJ; it was the reminder of the tangled web of relationships and feelings that surrounded you. Frustration simmered beneath the surface, fueled by the growing complexity of your personal life.

As you went about your work, you couldn't shake the feeling that the workplace dynamics had shifted, and the eyes of your colleagues seemed to carry unspoken questions. The atmosphere felt charged with unsaid words and assumptions, adding an extra layer of stress to an already challenging situation. Despite your efforts to focus on your tasks, the undercurrent of workplace gossip cast a shadow over your day.

As the hours passed into your shift, almost nearing the end of the day, you managed to get through your work while avoiding Sofia as much as possible. You attempted to focus solely on your tasks, hoping to minimize any unnecessary interactions. The atmosphere in the restaurant remained tense for you, a constant reminder of the recent events.

Suddenly, the hostess approached you with news of a large party that had just arrived. You took a deep breath, preparing yourself to face whatever challenges lay ahead. After a quick cleanup, you headed out to the dining area, only to be met with the sight of Rafe and his friends sitting at the table you were assigned to.

A wave of discomfort washed over you, and you had to work hard to hide your surprise behind a forced smile. The unexpected presence of Rafe and his friends added an extra layer of tension to your already strained day. Trying to maintain professionalism, you approached the table and greeted them with a neutral tone.

"Hey, welcome! My name's Y/N, and I'll be taking care of you all today. Can I start you off with some drinks?" you asked, doing your best to keep your composure despite the internal turmoil. The forced interaction with Rafe and his friends in a professional setting made the situation even more challenging to navigate.

You felt a sense of discomfort wash over you as Topper recognized you. He greeted you with a mischievous grin, "Well, well, well, if it isn't the elusive Y/N," he remarked, his tone teasing. "I haven't seen you around in forever. What have you been up to?"

You forced a polite but strained smile, not entirely comfortable with the unexpected attention. "Hey, Topper. Yeah, it's been a bit." You tried to steer the conversation towards neutral ground, hoping to avoid any unnecessary complications during your shift.

Topper's friend smirked, intrigued by the mention of past connections. "Oh, really? How do you two know each other?" he asked.

Topper leaned back in his chair, a sly grin playing on his lips. "Y/N and Rafe used to date. Crazy, right? Small world."

You felt a mix of discomfort and annoyance as Topper casually threw that piece of information into the conversation. The atmosphere at the table shifted slightly, and you tried to maintain your composure, not wanting to let on that the revelation affected you.

Rafe's jaw clenched, and his eyes shot a fierce glare at Topper. "Fuck off, Topper," he snapped, the tension in his voice cutting through the air. The atmosphere at the table grew more palpable, and the friends exchanged glances, sensing the underlying tension.

The friend leaned back in his chair, chuckling, "Seriously, Rafe, how'd you mess that up?"

Rafe's jaw clenched as he shot a piercing glare at his friend, "Back off, man."

Topper, enjoying the discomfort he was causing, chimed in with a teasing smile, "Come on, Rafe, spill. What went wrong?"

The conversation at the table continued, but you couldn't bring yourself to meet anyone's eyes. The weight of the awkwardness hung heavily in the air. You focused on taking the orders, avoiding any direct interaction. Rafe's presence added an extra layer of tension to the atmosphere, and you couldn't shake off the discomfort that lingered throughout the encounter.

Rafe's frustration boiled over as he snapped at Topper, "Enough, Topper. Knock it off."

Topper, undeterred by Rafe's warning, chuckled and added fuel to the fire, "Come on, man. It's not every day we get the scoop on Rafe Cameron's love life. Gotta spill the tea, right?" The other friend at the table joined in the laughter, completely oblivious to the discomfort spreading across your face.

Topper continued with his teasing, "Yeah, seriously, it was like a soap opera. One minute they're together, the next minute, she's with JJ. Classic love triangle stuff." Rafe's jaw clenched tighter, and you could see the frustration building in his eyes. The friend at the table leaned in, eager to hear more of the drama.

The other friend's eyes widened in mock shock, and he burst into laughter, teasing Rafe about being the second choice to JJ.

Topper joined in, playfully patting Rafe on the back, "Don't worry, buddy. We all have our ups and downs."

Rafe's frustration escalated, evident in the way his fists clenched on the table. The atmosphere at the table became tense, and you felt a mixture of discomfort and sympathy for Rafe.

Your voice trembled slightly as you spoke up, "Excuse me," and, with tears forming in your eyes, you swiftly turned away from the table and stormed outside. The weight of the situation pressed heavily on your shoulders, and the cool air outside provided a brief relief from the suffocating atmosphere within the restaurant.

As the door closed behind you, you took a moment to collect yourself, trying to shake off the embarrassment and pain that clung to you like an unwelcome shadow. The words exchanged at the table echoed in your mind, leaving you grappling with a whirlwind of emotions.

"Y/N?"

taglist: @ellesalazar, @champomiel, @vadinaleme, @kys4-20, @gills-lounge, @allsmilesreally7, @sublimepenguinpeach-blog, @sp00ky-spr1te, @bibliophilewednesday, @haroldpotterson, @i-love-rafe, @ellesalazar, @calmoistorm, @abundantxadorations, @fals3-g0d, @gillybear17, @oiiviagrande, @hockeybabe87, @augustlikesdeath, @wpdailyminimeta, @palmwinemami, @loxleys-blog, @ikisscline, @flyestvenustrap, @ilovesteveharrngton, @ijustwanttoreadlols, @fastlovela, @wickedlovely121, @fals3-g0d, @givemylovetoall, @lucfics, @briefwinnerpersonaturtle, @maybankslover

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another-goblin · 7 months ago

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2.1 Spoilers, Aventurine analysis

I regret to say that I enjoyed Aventurine's story much less than I should have. And not because it was bad, but because it was spoiled for me by people who don't tag their leaks, mostly fanartists. People call it one of the best stories in the game so far, and I usually love emotional stuff like that, but instead I was just going through the motions.

Yeah, child Aventurine, Aventurine in shakles, whatever, I've been forcefed all this stuff a month ago, I already saw dozens of arts of it against my will, let's move on. To all these artists - I hope not adding one little "hsr leaks" to your tags was worth it.

(speaking of which - my current goal is to unhate that new cowboy guy before he actively enters the story. Currently, I can't stand the sight of him, and for exactly the same reason, untagged leaks. He seems like a potentially great character, and he's already quite popular. And hating a popular character isn't fun at all)

But not to be too negative, even though I weren't allowed to enjoy 2.1 story as much as it deserves, I still liked it quite a lot, and it's a testament to how well written Aventurine is.

One of the worst things you can do to a character is to make them emotionally static. Aventurine doesn't suffer from this at all, it's shown very well in the different ways he talks to people, and that's what I wanted to talk about.

The first way is what I call "slimey creep." It's the way he mostly talks in 2.0 to TB and most other characters, and he's quite antogonistic and unlikeable, probably because it's his goal to seem antogonistic and unlikeable.

Second is the fear and desperation that's always under the surface, carefully hidden, what his future self talks about - we can see it when Sunday does his harmony thing on him.

And third, my favorite, is what I call "disarming sincerity." Not that he's neseccerily insincere in his other modes, but this is his dippest self, hidden under all the layers of pain, fear, and cynicism. He shows it when he talks to his younger self (btw I don't usually go there, but it made me think that he'd be great with children.)

We also see him using it for self-defense - when Ratio goes too far in 2.0, he retorts with this seemingly naive "I didn't go to school and my parents "left" me", and Ratio immediately apologizes.

But most interestingly, he uses it with Ratio, most of the time they spend together in 2.1 up until the "betrayal.".

It might be a deliberate ploy to manipulate him, trying to seem more likeable, to assure his loyalty (Ratio's reaction to "I didn't go to school" showed that he's quite susceptible to it).

It might come from his realization that the end is near, and why not just be yourself and have some fun for a change.

Or, of course, it might be because he actually enjoys Ratio's company and feels safe enough to show this hidden vulnerable side of himself.

The truth is probably somewhere in between.

They both joke and bicker (with Ratio remembering from time to time that he's supposed to show his "hatred" of Aventurine), and they both seem to really enjoy it. They argue about birds, Aven gets excited about the sandpit, and so on.

Let's take the joke Sparkle made about Aventurine and Sunday (about undressing and kneeling down) - it's mean and maybe even cruel, considering certain things from Aventurine's past that weren't directly implied but can be assumed, probably. And let's compare it with the joke he himself makes about him and Sunday ("now that I'm tiny I can hide on Sunday's clothes and spy on the Family, hehe, uwu"). It's a joke you'd expect from a child. Or from an adult who feels comfortable enough in your presence that they aren't afraid to seem childish or silly.

So yeah I'd really like to see them interact in a less stressful situation after these events. tbh I think they'd talk in more or less the same way. Aventurine already feels as safe and open around Ratio as he can allow himself to. And Ratio is too rigid in the way he speaks, he won't change that easily.

In defiance of a tired stereotype of an eccentric genius who is bad with people, Ratio seems quite good at understanding them. What he's bad at is expressing his feelings in a "convencional" way.

(he only sounds sincere and emotional when he talks about abstract matters he's passionate about, like his little speech to Screwllum at the end of his quest. He probably sounds like that when he talks about science too.)

But when it comes to his feelings towards people he becomes even more formal and strict (remember his messages from the valentine's day event on twitter)

I can imagine his thought process after he leaves Aventurine in 2.1.

"I verbally expressed my concern to him, which should reassure him of my loyalty and support. Furthermore, I provided him with an insightful and reassuring message in written form. So he should be fine."

btw speaking of that note, when I read it, I can imagine Ratio saying "Do stay alive" aloud. But I can't imagine how he'd say the next line, wishing him luck. I mean, he can't say it in his usual "I'm tired of idiots" way of speaking, right? Something to look forward to.

#honkai star rail #my stuff #aventurine #dr ratio #hsr that new cowboy guy #hsr 2.1 spoilers #hsr 2.1 #hsr spoilers

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residentialsinyomakai · 2 months ago

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Obligatory refs + Info of my Yokai Watch Ocs (*＾▽＾*)

Under a cut because there's gonna be a lot of yapping and art stuffs....explodes +□+

Caspian Hernandez || Any Prns || Watcholder

Basics:

The 15 year old 'basically Nate replacement' of this universe!

Lives in Blossom Heights mostly alone, parents are gone pretty often for one reason or another.

In addition, she lives with Baddinyan who is the only reason they're always out of Chocobars

Can see yokai through their glasses (ability can't be deactivated, but he has to focus on yokai for a few seconds in order to actually see/identify them)

Summons them w/ the Yopple-Brand summon band :'] (Customizable! That's why it looks like a disc attached to a Brute Bracer; because it basically is.) Insert disc into a slot in the side!! Whoopie!!!

Not very socially aware due to doing online school up until the age of like 12 (EVIL CAT interactions early on are constantly like 'lol that thing they said actually meant this you dork ahah you fool' 'hush weirdo I'm trying to focus')

((^ i mean in addition to that hes also based on me so like. Neurodivergent canon?? Maybe?? Idk i unintentionslly write characters like me sometimes

A bit goofy and switches moods easily. Some days can be pretty apathetic if she's in a slump.

Gameverse Friend Team of 6: Baddinyan (duh), Badude, Casanuva, Babblong, Tut'n'K'mon, and Rawry

VC: Unbearaboy! from the 'Yo-Kai Watch!' Sub (the blue one in this scene) ((yes I know it's goofy but it's the only clip I could find, skip past the beginning flashback 😭));

youtube

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Kerosque || He/Him || Formerly-Alive Yokai

Basics:

Water-Attributed Rank-B yokai of the Tough Tribe

Phrog is about in his upper 40's.

Inspirit; is kinda like when people tend to be kinda cold/curt in the mornings for seemingly no reason.

Runs a ramen stand someplace on the outskirts of Yo-kailafornia. (He's a pretty good chef too)

((He also has little custom pins you can get for free depending on who you are ^u^ a few of his customers/friends tend to.))

Uses his ladle (however you spell it) as a bit of a weapon thing. Comically large goofy ahh 😭

Doesnt go to the human world more often than he needs to. Too much everything

This man HATES stepping foot in downtown he does NOT wanna be there ever-

Kinda perpetually grumpy, resting mildly angry face. He tries to be polite but isn't very talkative at all lol

He does in fact croak. I love frog

Not pictured cause I forgot but like. Has a little swirly stomach pattern

Reoccurring yokai at his stand tend to be: Roughraff, Sick-Kun, Quinn, Ebi, Caspian, Master Oden, and occasionally Bruff.

VC: No clue yet, something along the lines of a higher version of Walrus Captain from A hat In Time, or a less enthusiastic Captain Caviar from Cookie Run? (If you got ideas, feel free!)

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Dread || He/They/Xe || Human-Born Yokai

Basics:

Drain-Attributed Rank-S yokai of the Shady Tribe

Inspirit; kinda similar to intrusive thoughs. Worse case scenario stuff, things that make you think you're an awful person, dreading situations or overthinking anything, etc etc

Is sighted quite a bit around high-schools. Hormones+anxiety+prime place for embarassment? Makes his job too easy

He has low empathy, but isn't completely incapable. Doesn't make a lot of friends and honestly he could care less either way.

Rather flippant, dry humor kinda guy, kinda similar to Jax from tadc for reference

He does have hair under there (i thought thatd be obvious but then again you'd probably also expect him to have skin and a chest/stomach under his hoodie so aifkwod), but it's usually kinda greasy.

Heart is a weak point in battle. If he ever let's it be exposed in the first place, that is

Cannot be seen by Caspian earlier in the story. Around the point I'd expect him to be in most of my drawings, he's at 'watch' Rank-B

Likes to taunt people, the easier to provoke the better. He feeds off of negative reactions and emotions for both entertainment and soul food nom nom

Usually a sad reaction is better than an angry one for him. If he finds someone's emotional weakness he most likely Will Exploit it XnX

While he doesn't care for anyone, he tends to harass Fuwhirl and Negatibuzz the least.

VC: Dont kill me but Raggedy Andy from Raggedy Anne's Musical Adventure

youtube

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Swiss || He/Him || Human-Born Yokai

Basics:

Electic-Attributed Rank-C yokai of the Eerie Tribe

Inspirit; is why people (usually kids) are picky eaters. This can look like randomly losing an appetite/ just finding several things repulsive/I'm bald/nuance/ref

Wanders around wherever. Lives in one of the Tranquility Apartments officially tho.

(Fuwhirl lives w him after they reunite <333 long story short they know him)

Has pretty poor eating habits himself tbh

Is edible!! Technically!!! He would not reccomend it (he's cake roll flavored :'])

The swirl in his hair can be dyed different colors.)

Going off of that, he can regenerate. Useful, but kiiiinda painful

He's a bit of an a-hole, and absolutely doesn't know when to shut up. He doesn't like to fight tho surprisingly (°>°)

Sarcastic and quick to snap back at someone =u=

(There's a strange old man he helps with experiments concerning his odd biology....he hasn't been posted yet but he belongs to my friend @sketchdeath22)

VC: lol idk

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Fuwhirl || They/Them || Object-Born Yokai

Basics:

Wind-Attributed Rank-D yokai of the Mysterious Tribe

Inspirit; Makes people dizzy either randomly or after standing up ×□×

Lived at a circus for a while, but eventually it moved out of town. After a bit of aimless wandering they found their way to Blossom Heights 🌸!!!

Kinda stumbles when they walk, it's worse when they're distressed but a bit more easy to navigate when they're happier &u&

Naive, likes to think anyone's nice under the surface +▽+

Is kinda like Tattletell's in the way he had to be latched on to you to be effective. Typically via a backpack

Has one of those build-a-bear hearts inside him!!! Whoopie :)

VC: Uhhh I forgot atm but I will come back and edit lol

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Anyways, that's not including my like 'ocified versions of pre-existing characters' agsgydirofor I love yapping about ocs!!! Wahoo :)

#Anyways. Here's my guys!!!(gen neu)#Not sure what else to say time to be rid of this already #I tried to summarize. Honest #□ yolo watch 2!#●posts from yomakai #Swiss ykw #Kerosque #Caspian Hernandez #Caspian ykw #Fuwhirl #Dread ykw #yokai watch au #yo kai watch #yokai oc #Ermmm that's about it i think. Yippie

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unabashegirl · 9 months ago

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Enticing 40 || Harry Styles

Summary: Harry is a young billionaire and CEO of his own company. He mostly keeps to himself, he is stern and very meticulous when it comes to business. He also likes to keep his personal life very private for the sake of his newly born son Oliver Styles. It isn't until he meets Y/N Y/L/N that everything changes. She becomes his new nanny after his previous one quits due to personal reasons. She is young, caring, and sweet. Will they ignore their feelings? Will Harry's girlfriend accept their love and leave them? Will she be able to cope with his busy agenda? What about Oliver's mother? Where is she? Who is she?

masterlist

word count: 1.6K

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Harry had decided to meet up with his close friends Alessandro and Michael to share the exciting news that he was going to be a father. He was filled with a mix of emotions, from nervousness to sheer excitement, as he anticipated their reactions.

The three friends gathered at a cozy yet exclusive café in a corner of the city. The atmosphere was relaxed, and the clinking of coffee cups and distant chatter of other patrons filled the air.

As Harry explained the situation, Alessandro and Michael exchanged smiles and congratulated him warmly. Their genuine happiness and support meant the world to him.

“That's incredible news, Harry,” Alessandro said, a bright grin on his face. “Once again, you're going to be an amazing dad.”

Michael nodded in agreement. “Congratulations, mate. Parenthood is a beautiful journey.”

Harry beamed with gratitude for their kind words. “Thanks, guys. I couldn't be happier.”

However, as they continued chatting about the baby and future plans, an unexpected presence disrupted the joyful atmosphere. William, Harry's other friend, suddenly appeared at the entrance of the café.

Harry's expression instantly shifted, his warm demeanor turning cold. The tension between the two had been palpable for the last few weeks, and Harry had hoped to share his news with his friends before facing the inevitable confrontation with William.

William, aware of the gathering, made his way to their table. The atmosphere grew noticeably strained as he took a seat, exchanging polite but distant greetings with Alessandro and Michael.

Harry took a deep breath, his voice steady as he spoke to William, “I have some news, William. I'm going to be a father.” William already knew. In fact, he knew it before Harry. He had hidden it from Harry. Hence, the reason to why they had drifted apart the last few weeks.

William's reaction was unexpectedly stoic. He nodded and offered stiff congratulations before his gaze returned to the menu. It was clear that the news hadn't softened the coldness that had developed between the two friends over the last weeks. They both had lots to talk about and things to unpack. Harry wasn’t ready to have the conversation with William. He had felt betrayed.

William was offended that Harry had gotten angry at him. Y/N’s necessity to hide her pregnancy from him had nothing to do with Harry. She had wanted that way, and she had confided in William to keep the secret.

As the conversation continued, Harry felt a sense of disappointment and sadness. He had hoped that the news of impending fatherhood would mend some of the rift between them, but it seemed that the past grievances and resentment ran deeper than he had anticipated.

Amidst the lingering tension brought on by William's presence, Harry felt a sense of relief as Alessandro and Michael leaned in with genuine interest, eager to hear more about his impending fatherhood.

Harry's eyes lit up with pride as he recounted the journey he and Y/N had embarked upon. "It's been quite a rollercoaster, but I couldn't be happier. She's pregnant, and we've just confirmed that the baby is mine."

Alessandro's warm smile mirrored the happiness in Harry's eyes. "That's incredible news, Harry. You must be over the moon. How did you both react when you found out?"

Harry's voice was filled with affection as he recalled the moment. "It was a mix of shock and overwhelming joy. We both knew there was a possibility, but when we saw those test results, it made everything real."

Michael leaned forward, eager to learn more. "So, what are your plans? How are you going to manage with Oliver?”

Harry's smile remained, though he couldn't help but feel the weight of the logistical challenges ahead. "It's going to be a bit of a juggling act, I won't lie. Oliver and the new baby will be very close in age, so we're expecting some chaos. But we're committed to making it work”.

Alessandro's raised eyebrow conveyed curiosity. "How does Y/N feel about everything? I can imagine it's quite a lot to handle. She is going to be a first-time mom.”

Harry's eyes softened with affection as he thought about Y/N. "She's been incredible throughout this journey. But she's a natural with Oliver, and I have no doubt she'll be just as amazing with our new baby."

Michael chimed in with a grin. "It sounds like you have a lot to look forward to, mate”.

As the conversation continued, the camaraderie among friends provided a temporary reprieve from the complexities of Harry's family dynamics. Alessandro and Michael's genuine happiness and support served as a reminder that, despite the challenges ahead, he had unwavering friends by his side.

Amidst the laughter, shared stories, and excitement about the future, Harry couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude for the moments like these — moments when he could revel in the joy of becoming a father once again.

As the conversation about Harry's impending fatherhood continued, the tension between Harry and William seemed to momentarily fade into the background. However, William, having remained silent until now, finally chimed in with a question that cut through the cheerful atmosphere.

He turned his gaze toward Harry, his tone measured as he asked, "Harry, are you going to tell your father about this?"

Harry's expression shifted slightly, and a shadow of unease crossed his face. His relationship with his father had always been complicated, marked by expectations, misunderstandings, and a lingering sense of disapproval.

Alessandro and Michael exchanged glances, sensing the complexity of the situation. They remained silent, allowing Harry to respond in his own time.

Harry took a deep breath, his voice carrying a hint of uncertainty as he replied, "I... I haven't decided yet. Dad and I, we've had our differences, and I'm not sure how he'll react to this news."

William's gaze remained fixed on Harry, his expression inscrutable. "You know he's your father, Harry. He deserves to know. He can’t find out through the press or the media. It has to be directly through you”

Harry nodded, acknowledging the truth in William's words, even if the prospect of sharing the news with his father filled him with apprehension. "I’m aware” Harry just hadn't gotten over what had happened in the Hamptons.

Their friends, sensing the weight of the conversation, offered their support. Alessandro spoke up gently, "Harry, it's a decision only you can make. But remember, this is your moment, your family. You should do what feels right for you and Y/N."

Michael echoed the sentiment. "And you have us, your friends, who will support you no matter what."

The cafe grew quiet as the friends sat with the weight of the conversation. Harry's relationship with his father was a longstanding source of tension, and the decision to share this significant news with him was fraught with uncertainty.

As Harry contemplated his next steps, he couldn't help but feel a mixture of emotions — a desire for understanding and acceptance from his father, and a determination to protect his growing family from any potential negativity. The path ahead was uncertain, but he knew that with the support of true friends, he would navigate it with grace and resilience. Maybe he would be calling his mother and sister first.

The soft glow of kitchen lights illuminated the cozy atmosphere of Harry's apartment as he and Y/N spent the evening together. Harry had taken it upon himself to cook a special dinner for them, and the tantalizing aroma of the meal filled the air.

Oliver, content on Y/N’s lap, giggled and played with his toys as Y/N watched over him with a loving smile. The warmth of the moment enveloped them, a stark contrast to the chaotic days that had preceded it.

As Harry moved gracefully around the kitchen, a sense of purpose filled him. He was excited about the future, about the family he was building with Y/N, and he couldn't wait to share this moment with her.

Finally, as he placed a beautifully plated dish on the kitchen island, he turned to Y/N with a warm smile. "Dinner's ready."

Y/N's eyes sparkled with appreciation as she glanced at the dish he had prepared. "You really outdid yourself."

Harry chuckled modestly as he joined her at the kitchen island, taking a seat beside her. "Well, I wanted to make tonight special."

Oliver, sensing the change in atmosphere, seemed equally excited, his bright eyes darting between them.

As they began to eat, the conversation flowed naturally. They talked about their plans for the baby's nursery, the upcoming doctor's appointments, and the joys and challenges of parenthood that awaited them.

Then, Harry broached a more serious topic. "I've been thinking. I'd really like to meet your mom. She's going to be a part of our lives now, and I'd love for her to get to know me."

Y/N's expression softened, and she nodded in agreement. “That means a lot to me. I think she'd appreciate that as well. I'll talk to her and arrange a meeting."

They continued their dinner, the warmth of their connection deepening with each passing moment. The challenges they had faced were still fresh in their minds, but at this moment, surrounded by the love they shared for each other and for Oliver, they knew that they were building a future filled with happiness, love, and the promise of a beautiful family.

TAGLIST: @0oolookitsme, @happycupcakeenthusiast, @kennedywxlsh, @hsfics, @stylesbrock, @cuddlingwithharry, @sucker4angstt, @bluemoonedwings, @cherriesrae, @vornilla, @mellamolayla, @harryscurls21, @stilesissaved, @be-with-me-so-happily, @harryssattelitestomper, @jerseygirlinca, @tenaciousperfectionunknown, @lomlolivia, @stylesfever, @daphnesutton, @n0vaj3an, @breezykpop, @kathb59, @sassamanda77

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wildpeachfarm · 2 months ago

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yesh i totally agree i think people are not wanting to compare cases for that and bc some feel Bad comparing two different cases but people are not comparing to Say beau is like caiti. Some are doing to show what Even Beau Said if i remenber correctly that he would be a good person if he ackwonledge her hurt and offered an apology. I don't think it's SA just like what happened to caiti but his reaction to her hurt and his Friends reaction are the differences that make them shitty.

I general i know people on social media have difficulties being calm about anything bc being on apps that wants US to feel strong emotions and being online 24 hrs fucks up out ability to take things slowly, that's why i thank people like You for keeping the calm and being reasonable

Yes I definitely think emotions will always take over people in these situations and people will never learn to just sit back and look at the facts and lay everything out.

And I don't think people are comparing Beau to Caiti at all (at least I'm definitely not lol) but I do think the similarities in situations need to be talked about because this is yet another situation of mixed signals, and perceived consent, and a claim of SA that I'm not sure is entirely accurate to the facts of the situation (although again, I will reserve my opinion until we hear from all sides because there is always three sides to a story: person A's side, person B's side, and the truth)

Again, this all centers around a lack of communication from either side in the moment and, in this situation specifically, his inability to accept that he did hurt her even if it was unintentional and his lying about it and isolating her was probably the worst thing he could've done in response. That doesn't make him look like a good person.

I think overall we need to be rid of the black-and-white thinking about defining SA when you are making public accusations like this because not only does it muddle the definition, but it doesn't take into account well-meaning individuals who got incredibly mixed signals (like beau saying she had dreams of kissing him and that they should act them out which /could/ be a signal of wanting this guy to kiss her). We are completely removing "innocent until proven guilty" in the eyes of twitter by saying "it's SA and I won't hear otherwise" which is ....not good at all lol (because as soon as that's the normal standard, we are truly fucked and marginalized groups WILL be the first target of this- as they have been repeatedly in the past)

Also, I'm going to take a page from Britanny Simons on this because it's always an important disclaimer to add to discussions about consent and verbal consent in romantic situations: most of the world does not ask for consent before kissing someone. That's just a fact of life. It's a very "online" concept to ask for verbal consent before giving someone a peck on the lips.

Would it be great if people thought of consent more in dating culture? yes of course! But that's just not the reality of where we are in the timeline of society right now. So I think some people also need to be more realistic, and understanding, and give people the benefit of the doubt more instead of assuming malice and assault right off the bat. It does no one any good. It actually just leads to more emotional and mental distress in the long run.

#ask #anon #anti drummyache tag

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ro-is-struggling · 2 years ago

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hello lovely!! i hope you are having a wonderful day. i was hoping for your 600 follower celebration if i could request prompt 17 from the part 1 list with james potter? where james is character B and has had feelings for the reader for a while? reader has always had some level of feelings for james but always repressed them and then the event happens and a lot of repressed feelings come to the surface with smut?

Hi beautiful💜 Thank you so much for participating! I really enjoyed working on this request even though I had a bit of a writer's block in the middle of it and I struggled with the ending a little :( I'm sorry if it's not as smutty as you wanted :( but I hope you like it!!

More Than Friends || James Potter x Reader

Summary: Looking to get back at your ex-boyfriend, you ask James to help you make him jealous. You thought he was the best choice for the job since he was your best friend —what could go wrong? However, things get out of control and old feelings come to the surface.

Warnings: friends to lovers, mutual pining, make out session, love confessions, fluff, implied smut

English is not my first language

Word count: 3400

You couldn't believe Mason had the audacity to do what he was doing. You guys had only been broken up for a few weeks and he was already walking the halls of Hogwarts with his new girlfriend by his side. You hated him. You hated him for moving on so fast. You hated him for the way he ignored you and acted like you never mattered to him, like you never existed. You hated him for replacing you with her so fast, taking her everywhere you used to go. You hated him for walking past you holding her, making you feel like you were worthless. His apathy made you feel like an idiot for being sad. Apparently you had been the only one who felt anything in that relationship, the only one who cared about the other.

"We can take care of him for you," James' voice next to you snapped you out of your thoughts, reluctantly looking away from your ex-boyfriend to look at your friends. "Just say the word and we'll make his life a living hell, right guys?" The rest of the marauders nodded enthusiastically, eagerly awaiting your approval so they could get revenge on the bastard who had hurt their friend. Sometimes you thought they wanted revenge more than you did.

It was sweet that they cared so much about you, but you didn't want any more trouble, and you knew that if you gave them permission to take care of the situation that would be all you'd end up getting. "Nah, it's fine. He is not worth your time" you said, even though part of you really wanted to see your ex-boyfriend suffer at the hands of your friends. But you didn't want to stoop down to his level, you didn't want to give him the satisfaction of letting him know that his indifference affected you, so you swallowed all your emotions and hid them under an expression of disdain.

However, by the time the weekend came around you were tired of being the bigger person. You wanted Mason to feel at least a quarter of what you felt watching him walk around the school with another girl as if you didn't exist. You wanted to provoke some reaction in him that would show you that you had meant something to him too, that you had been more than a pastime. You just didn't know how to do it, he seemed to have forgotten about your existence completely.

Then a crazy idea popped into your head. It was risky and a little silly, but at that moment you didn't care. All you wanted was to get back at your ex-boyfriend and there was nothing you weren't willing to do to get it.

"I need your help to get back at Mason," was the first thing you said to James when you opened his bedroom door without even knocking first —there was no time for formalities.

"I thought you'd never ask!" he said with a smile. He always thought Mason was a jerk who didn't deserve you and the only reason he hadn't let him know that yet was because you wouldn't let him. "Let's go find the guys so we can start planning."

James got up from his spot on the bed, but you motioned for him to sit back down, settling in next to him. "I only need you for what I have in mind."

"And what is it that you have in mind?" he asked both curious and confused.

"I-I want to make him jealous," you muttered nervously. You were about to ask too much of your best friend and you didn't quite know how to put it into words so as not to sound like a complete nut job. "I thought you could help me with that."

"How so?" James was intrigued, but part of him was sad. If you wanted to make Mason jealous it meant you still had feelings for him. You wanted his attention back and that crushed James' hopes completely. He was planning to confess how he really felt about you one of these days, but now he would have to keep his big secret to himself once again.

"So... you know there's this party tomorrow, right?" you said trying to find the right words to explain your plan. James nodded slightly, noticing the way your fingers fiddled nervously with the hem of your skirt. "I thought we could go together and... umm... and act like we were into each other to make him jealous, you know."

It took James a few seconds to process your words. He was honestly surprised at your idea and he wondered how desperate you were to get Mason's attention. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

He couldn't help but ask you that question. His brain and heart were involved in an interesting debate about it and he needed to know your perspective before reaching a verdict. His brain was convinced it was a terrible idea that would only lead to confusion and awkward moments. The voice of reason in his head was screaming at him to refuse your request, to not let himself be persuaded by your sweet smile and tell you to find someone else to help you —he was pretty sure Sirius would have no problem with that.

But his heart that was stupidly and completely in love with you kept telling him to take advantage of the situation. Holding you close and kissing you for one night was better than never doing it, even if it was all an act to get another guy to pay attention to you. Maybe that would be the only chance to call you his that he would ever get so he couldn't say no to it, right?

"I thought about it and I wouldn't be asking you if I didn't think it could work," you assured him with a warm smile, hoping to inspire some sort of reassurance in him.

"Don't you think it could be weird?" James insisted, wanting to make sure you had really thought things through.

"No, I mean, I trust you. You're my best friend, Jamie." The use of the affectionate nickname made James' heart melt in his chest, leaving him a little stupid for a few seconds. He loved it when you called him that. "It has to be you. There's no one I trust more… Besides, Mason was always a little jealous of you, so it's perfect."

James wasn't as convinced as you were that it was a good idea. He was afraid of the feelings that might surface in him when he held you against his body, when he felt your lips on his skin. If you were to kiss him he wasn't sure he would be able to control his heart. But at the same time the idea of finally having the chance to know how your lips would feel against his was tempting him. Maybe spending a lifetime of agony and suffering missing the soft caresses of your mouth was better than spending a lifetime of doubts and regrets, wondering every day what it would feel like to kiss you.

"C'mon, James! Pleaseee" you begged him with a pout, your eyes full of anticipation. "You said you'd do anything, please."

He couldn't resist your charms and ended up agreeing without even knowing the details of your plan. Something he would regret in the not too distant future.

The plan was simple. You would arrive at the party together, spend the night dancing and "flirting" with each other and at some point disappear to the dorms, always making sure Mason saw everything. You hoped that the implication of what would happen would be enough to spark some sort of reaction in him, but in case it wasn't you had an ace up your sleeve.

It had taken a bit of convincing to get James to agree to the final part of your plan: you needed him to give you hickeys all over your neck, a visible mark that you hoped would make Mason's blood boil.

The party started early in the Gryffindor common room, filling the tower with students from all houses looking to unwind from the stress and pressure of the week. You didn't come down from the dorms until your best friend and roommate confirmed that Mason was already there. Then you made your grand entrance, taking just a couple of seconds to search the crowd for your ex-boyfriend before running into James' arms, who was hanging out with his friends standing directly in front of Mason.

"Thank you for doing this," you thanked him again, whispering in his ear after giving him a kiss on the cheek.

James smiled, wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you close against him, holding you tight against his chest as his nose got lost in the scent of your hair. "Don't mention it," he murmured, his breath colliding against your ear awakening a shiver that ran down your spine. You had to admit that his proximity left you feeling a little stupid, your brain struggling to comprehend what the tingling that slowly spread throughout your body meant.

Things only got worse from that point on. Your thirst for revenge was completely forgotten as you danced with James on the makeshift dance floor. Your eyes met Mason's a couple of times, but you weren't able to pay attention to him for more than two seconds, losing yourself completely in the explosive combination that turned out to be the sensual rhythm of the music and the warmth of James' body pressed against yours. He was all that occupied your mind.

James' hands on your body aroused a strange but pleasurable sensation. You weren't doing anything new, as the best friends you two were, you had danced together many times, but this time it felt different. There was a strange tension in the air that hung over you and grew more and more overwhelming with each passing second. You didn't know if James could feel it too, but you could and it was making it hard to breathe. You wanted to run out of there, to get away from James until you could catch your breath —and regain your sanity—, but you hated the idea of being separated from his warmth, of no longer feeling his hands on your hips, so you stayed close to him. You had no idea what it was that had awakened such a reaction in you, but you didn't want James to leave your side ever again.

"He's looking right at us, if we go now he'll definitely know about us." James' voice snapped you out of your thoughts, forcing you back to reality. You remembered then why you were doing what you were doing, feeling a bit embarrassed for letting yourself get carried away like that.

But you were there to put on a show, so you stood on your tiptoes to reach James' ear, grabbing his shoulders to keep your balance. "Let's go then," you whispered in his ear, your lips lingering over the area longer than necessary as you fought the urge to playfully bite his earlobe. What was happening to you?

You disappeared down the stairs amidst playful giggles, heading towards James' bedroom to hide for a while. The further away from the music and the warmth of the people dancing around you two you got, the more you questioned what had happened —and what you were about to do. When this idea occurred to you, you didn't think there was anything wrong with it, but now you weren't so sure. The feelings he had awakened in you with a simple touch were not normal, not for a pair of friends at least. Was it possible that you still had feelings for him? You'd had a little crush on James the first two years at Hogwarts, but after years of watching him run after Lily you thought you'd gotten over it. You had accepted that you were just friends and that was all you would be for a long time, or so you thought.

“You still want to do this?” James asked you when you got to his room. He noticed the change in your demeanor right away —he knew you too well not to. You were distracted and he even dared to say a little tense, so he wanted to make sure you were both on the same page. He was dying to feel the soft skin of your neck under his lips, but he wouldn't do anything you didn't want him to. "I don't think it's necessary, I mean have you seen his face? I think he got the message."

"I want to do it," you were quick to reply —maybe a little too quick. You still wanted to go through with your plan, though perhaps not for the same reasons as before. "Just to make sure this works, you know," you added, a little embarrassed by the determination in your voice. The last thing you needed at that moment was James finding out that you were desperate to feel his lips on your neck.

"Fine," he said, sitting down on the edge of the bed next to you. "So, how do you want to do this?"

It was awkward at first as you settled into a position that would allow you to be comfortable. Part of you wanted to jump on his lap and let James do whatever he wanted with you, but you knew that wasn't appropriate so you settled for getting as close as you could to him, throwing your head back to grant him better access to your neck. Your whole body tingled with anticipation as James prepared himself, his fingers lightly tracing your skin as he brushed your hair away from your shoulder. You stopped breathing for a moment, your muscles tensing with nerves.

When James' warm breath hit the sensitive skin of your neck you instinctively closed your eyes. Your fingers tightened around the fabric of the comforter that covered the bed as you struggled to stay still, fearing that any reaction would expose the feelings that were bubbling up inside of you. The anticipation was killing you. Time seemed to slow down, trapping you in the torture that was feeling the warmth of James' body next to yours but not his lips. When the tip of his nose brushed against your skin you had to bite your tongue to keep from letting out a desperate sigh, tightening your grip on the comforter to contain the urge you had to take his face in your hands and close the distance between you.

And then you felt it.

His soft lips made contact with the skin of your neck, placing a quick, experimental kiss. It was nothing special, just a simple kiss to test the waters, but that alone had you biting your tongue to keep from letting out a sigh. When he saw that you didn't back away he doubled down, sucking lightly on your skin to start creating the first marks.

You forgot about the world around you after that —your ex-boyfriend, the party, the weird feelings that had plagued your mind all night. The only thing that mattered to you at that moment were James' lips and the delicate but passionate way in which they caressed your skin. His nose tickled your neck as he trailed his wet kisses down your skin, kissing and sucking until he left reddish marks that would only get worse with time. Every movement of his tongue on your skin awakened a wave of arousal inside you that went straight to your core. Pleasure quickly clouded your mind, keeping you from doing anything but enjoying the moment, surrendering under James' lips as you pressed your legs together in search of some friction that would ease the throbbing between your legs.

James also stopped caring about the world around him, letting himself get lost in the fantasy that you were his and he was yours. Your perfume attacked his nostrils, filling his thoughts with inappropriate images of you moaning his name as he trailed his kisses all over your body. He could feel your pulse quicken with every kiss he gave you, the veins in your neck throbbing against his curious lips. That only egged him on, fueling his fantasy that you wanted this as much as he did. So he gave you more, completely forgetting that this was supposed to be just a favor between friends and not some kind of confession of love. He no longer cared if you found out how he felt about you, all he wanted was to hold you in his arms and kiss you until he couldn't feel his lips.

When James nibbled on your neck, sucking hard on your pulse point, you couldn't help but let out a moan. You didn't even realize you did it until it was too late. James stopped for a moment, surprised and excited by the sweet sound that had just escaped your lips. He wondered if maybe it was a good time to stop, but then you whined in protest, your hand traveling to his head to push him further against your skin. He got the message immediately, continuing his assault on your neck without allowing himself to think about the morality of what you were doing.

It wasn't long before you were lying back on the bed, pulling James down on top of you as you began your attack on his lips. Your hands roamed his body desperately, tugging at his clothes until you had contact with the warm skin of his torso. He helped you remove his shirt, pulling away from you for a moment so he could toss the piece of fabric to the other side of the room before kissing you again. His hands caressed your body with a shy gentleness, his fingers slipping under your tank top and arousing a tingling sensation along the way.

You felt like you were on fire, your heart was beating rapidly against your chest and your lungs were struggling to catch a breath. You were desperate to feel James' skin against yours. You wanted to feel every inch of him and let him do with you what he wanted. You were completely lost in the moment, enjoying the way James trailed his wet kisses down your lips to your jaw, sliding down your neck until he reached your collarbone.

You opened your eyes to admire the scene in front of you and when your eyes made contact with James' you realized what you were doing. Reality hit you like a train, common sense replacing the desire that had clouded your mind. You were friends, best friends in fact, and friends weren't supposed to kiss like that. You weren't supposed to want to feel the warmth of his hands running down your body or the caress of his lips on your skin.

"Wait, wait," you muttered with ragged breaths, sitting up in bed to put some distance between you and James. "This is wrong... we're friends, we shouldn't..."

"I know, I know," James said, closing his eyes for a moment as he collected his thoughts. "But you can't look me in the eyes and tell me that didn't feel right. "

You fell silent for a moment. He was right, you couldn't. That intimate moment you shared had felt so good, so right, as if it was what you were meant to do from the moment you met. It was natural, something you should have done a long time ago. It was clear you both liked each other, so what was stopping you?

"If you really want to stop, we'll stop." James spoke, snapping you out of your thoughts. "I just want you to know that I really like you. I've waited a long time to tell you, looking for the right time, you know... I don't know if this is it, I just know that I can't keep hiding what I feel."

His confession took you by surprise for some reason —as if it was something weird after having his tongue down your throat as you kissed— so you responded with a kiss, not trusting your ability to formulate coherent sentences. This kiss was different from the previous ones, it was full of love and tenderness. Your lips caressed James' with the passion of years of repressed feelings. You clung to his body, sitting on his lap to keep his body as close to yours as possible. And as you melted into one in a swirl of love and passion you assured him that he was the only man you wanted to wake up next to for the rest of your life.

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