Seriously, my boyfriend saw my ao3 username and I dumbly said it was because of my "old tumblr name" and now I need to change this one
I'm not good at thinking on my feet I'm stressing rn
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"[Russell T Davies] made Rose an equal, not a sidekick. It is she who, on several occasions, saves the Doctor, rather than the other way round. As any parent with a daughter, I now look at Esme and think 'you could be the Doctor'. In 2005, as recently as that, such a thought would have been a pipe dream.
[Rose is] a woman with an independent mind, willing to confront received wisdom. Rose arrives on screen fully formed, one of the strongest female characters of any show, any year, painting a solid line directly to Jodie Whittaker.
If you think about it, the relaunch in 2005 was actually the first chance to create the first female Doctor. Why not do it then? Perhaps we should be looking back on Billie Piper not as Rose, but as the Doctor."
- Christopher Eccleston in his memoir I Love The Bones Of You
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I do not think I’ve talked about my Demon Cat Yuan here so ima do that
Basically, it all starts out with the WRP jiejies adopting a small white cat. Their pet is heavily doted on and can even do tricks! He’s a very smart boy!
That cat is transmigrated Shen Yuan.
When he wakes up in his little cat body his really confused and scared, like what else would you be when you’re a stray kitten by yourself. One of the jiejies find him and he decides “you can do no wrong to me and I’m gonna stick with you forever”
Is he a little embarrassed with a bunch of scantily clad women surround him? I mean yea, of course. But also! He’s a cat! It doesn’t matter!
So the jiejies take care of their cute little kitten, none the wiser that it’s a demon.
Eventually, Shen Jiu comes to visit them and is introduced to the small creature. He’s… hesitant at first, most small creatures don’t like him, but hey this little kitten is friendly so why not. With his petting and prodding he suddenly feels something abnormal for a cat, but perfectly normal for a demon.
And thus he has to take it away from his jiejies, to protect them!
So off to QJP Shen Yuan goes, tucked around Shen Jiu. Nobody seems to realize it’s in fact a demon except for him so SJ keeps him around for awhile. SY is quickly known as a pampered white cat belonging to QJP and anyone messing it will face quick retribution.
As SJ cultivates SY is fascinated by it, and tries it for himself, leading to humanized cat demon. When SJ realizes he can transform he uses the cat for spying and SY doesn’t mind(he totally doesn’t realize who SJ is yet lmao)
Eventually SY realize who SJ is and kinda freaks out, but not really, as he guides the man down a path where he hopefully won’t be a human stick.
This includes things from gaslighting SJ to not be a dick to saving both SJ and LQG in the caves so both survive with intact cores. He also fights off the demon invasion after dumping them both on MQF.
Which leads to the sect realizing they’ve had a demon this whole time, but they can’t do anything about it because SJ is wayyy to protective and SY goes back to being a ‘normal’ cat.
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Dorian confessing his intention to return to Tevinter for good is so heartbreaking in the Tresspasser DLC. Because of course he does! It doesn't come out of nowhere, he tells the inquisitor as much before they even defeat Corypheus - he loves his home country and knows that he personally needs to be the one to fix it. Not any foreign power (including you and the Inquisition) but through internal change. And he's so blasé about it when he tells you, keeping his tone light, excited for his future work with Maevaris and the Lucerni! Of course, he didn't want you to find out like that but this is a good thing. He's happy! He's practically jovial!
And then you think about how familiar that tone of voice is. And remember his romance scene, and the nonchalant way he asks you if this whole relationship is just a one-time thing. And how he jokes and jibes with you in the bad-end future during In Hushed Whispers, to the point where Leliana calls him out on the obvious attempt at levity. Barring your brushes with his family, who elicit a kind of knee-jerk anger that cracks his usual mask, Dorian is very good at maintaining that emotional wall. So you listen as your heart breaks, as you consider how to respond to the lightness of him in this devastating moment, and you realise-
Dorian is terrified. The kind of scared where you can't really voice it, not in public, not even in private spaces when you aren't 100% in control. It's scary losing a parent, even one you're not quite reconciled with. To have to take his place and fill a role you've never fit, and somehow finally actually push forward with all the ideals you've been imagining to be so far away for many years. And to do all that on the opposite side of the world from the people who all made you finally believe it could be possible in the first place?
Dorian is so very used to being the brave one, the optimistically realistic one, that he can't possibly burden you - whose heart is breaking, whose Inquisition is failing, whose body is slowly killing them - with all of his own ugly fear. That wouldn't be very charming and dependable and Dorian of him, would it? More to the point, leaning on you would be both more burdensome to you and chafe against his own stubborn pride - not accepting favours is well-established during his romance-specific quest to retrieve his birthright. So instead of taking you aside somewhere quiet, consulting you about his final decision on the matter, and giving both of you the space to grieve, he...
Well he tells Varric. And Sera, and Bull, and Cole. Part of it is practice - how might they react? Part of it is in hope for advice on how to break the news. Varric and Bull are adept speakers. Cole's whole job is compassion. Even Sera's bluntness might help when you're chronically incapable of not sugarcoating things. But all it really does it make things worse, because its a distancing tactic. Nothing can truly prepare him for the crack in your voice, the sharp sting of your flinch and the perceived betrayal.
It's almost ironic, that his romantic lock-in asks you to decide if you're in for the long haul, when Dorian's entire arc is one that will inevitably draw him back to Tevinter. And specifically in such a way as to leave you. Because he does not want you tagging along (at least not now, not as the Inquisitor.) Dorian's fear in this moment is not fully centered on you, the man he loves, but there is certainly a part of him that is back in the Inquisitor's chambers on the opposite side of that question of 'do you want me to stay.'
Dorian Pavus' greatest fear is temptation, emblazoned on his tombstone in the Fade for all to see. And there you are, with your political power, ready to jump in and save the day once again on his behalf. And he's tempted. There you are with your familiarity and a space for him in the South that accepts him for who he is. And he's tempted.
There you are. Loving him. And well...
So he doesn't lower his voice to whisper to you, or hold you too close. He confesses in public where the crowds prohibit hysterics, he sips on precious wine, and he gifts you his sending stone. It is both distance and closeness all tied with a bow. A temptation that he can just about handle. Fear under wraps. Because if he lets you, you will - without even knowing - stop his entire life in its tracks. You represent everything he can never afford to lose to. And it is wretched how desperately he doesn't want to lose you.
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