#he can be my housewife

[patheticrafeenjoyer]

happy knock him up november to him! now come over here and lets get this thing going

[huellitaa]

"whatever! at least i'm pretty" i say before setting the house on fire by using the toaster

[lomlompurim]

Something born from a convo on twt

(Bingmei is still The Emperor and The HHP Palace Master but he spends more time with his family and house duties, and working hard into his dream of having a BIG family)

The tweet that inspired this, which I very much agree, omega Binghe supremacy

[sameschmidtdiffname]

I love the difference in Katniss and Peeta asking for love. Peeta is in full "You don't have to, it's ok!!! Please don't even make eye contact with me, no pressure!!" Mode during 'The Hunger Games' meanwhile Katniss for the rest of the series is just like this fucking goblin crawling out of the pits of hell like "No pressure, but I will kill myself if you don't breathe in my direction"

[eggcats]

I do have an idea of Alastor taking Vox pet shopping, because Vox mentioned having a dog when he was alive and missing having a companion

Alastor agrees to get him a pet, as long as it ISN'T a dog

Vox cannot believe THIS is the one line Alastor won't cross, not even using his most adorable digital face changed his mind - but Vox still wants a pet, so he agrees. No dogs.

(They haven't been together long enough for Vox to LEARN why no dogs was such a big deal, here - I kind of think that's something Alastor doesn’t talk about until they've been together for like 10-20 years).

So! They go to a pet store, and Vox immediately wants the giant dog-like shark.

(Alastor tries to say no, but Vox is like "C'mon it's not a dog!!! *insert cute anime eyes before that was even a concept* so Alastor relents).

And the poor shop employee is like, trying to figure out how to tell the fucking Radio Demon and the guy who's starting to take over all the media that they probably don't have the ability to care for the shark-dog thing. (Think, stressed PetSmart employee trying to go "No, a baby bunny isn't a good gift for Easter" except to a serial killer actively covered in blood, here. That's the visual I'm thinking of).

[side note: why do I punish poor minimum wage employees constantly, I promise I have also worked a minimum wage job working for the general public, lol]

But when the employee explains that the shark-dog thing needs a large body of water (probably ocean) to swim in often, Alastor is just like "Oh I can summon that, easily. I'll add it to the guest bedroom since Vox no longer uses it." And Vox is like, what do you MEAN that's something you can do?? You can't just drop casual lore like that at the pet store!

Alastor is like "?? Darling, what do you mean? I have a bayou in my room in the closet? A little beach isn't any more difficult."

And it turns out that when Vox moved in, Alastor told him not to go in that closet. Alastor meant it in a "don't go in there without me, because wandering in a bayou could be dangerous if you don't know where you are/how to do so safely" kind of way.

Vox, however, took it in a Bluebeard kind of way and was like, "Easy, I'm not having him murder me, so he'll be stuck with me forever. Win/win scenario, I solved the fairytale" and just assumed he DID because they're dating now.

And Alastor is left staring with the most confused smile on his face, trying to come to terms with the fact that Vox just casually accepted that he was living in a Bluebeard-like scenario, and his response was to play by the rules so he can stay with Alastor.

(They get the shark-dog. Vox names it Vark. Alastor immediately takes away his "allowed to name new things" privilege, but it's too late. It only responds to Vark).

[dorkylilguy]

doting blue collar husband with his adorable male wife 💚💙

[rhaenyratargcryen]

can someone please get dan stevens a pair of brown contacts please my god i am scared AND horny

[erotetica]

Hiii Lewie

Special thanks to @transarmand for making these great GIFs, which were a godsend when drafting that plaid. My other refs r below the cut in case anyone finds them useful:)

[kinokoshoujoart]

I saw the lack of Rock in skirts reblog and

maybe you should 👁️

you got it🫡 💕

by popular demand: rock wearing a rock

in the jp version he says he mentions he intends his hypothetical book about fashion and stuff for a gyaru audience

and i personally suspect rock also plans to model for every single photo in the book himself since he’s, you know, the ideal man and all

[butterflieswhisper]

hiiii ^^ beastlife fishie analysis. spoilers ahead. etc etc

okay so. the main point of this is simple. I don't think the salmon head cursed c!fishie. Explaining that is the harder part I think. also i'm going to refer to the salmon head thing in e5 as "the incident" from here on out because frankly i think it's funny

Let's start with the incident. The big day. etc. What happened? Why did it happen? Obligatory third questioning statement? Well. She was gifted the salmon head for her birthday by kiwi(or like. someone in the kiwibird system. -bird system. the birds). Immediately upon receiving it she relives parts of season one and fishie herself doesn't really acknowledge it. The other players definitely notice but im not caught up enough in any other pov yet to like have thoughts on that I'll come back to that point someday. Fishie seems shaken, sure, but she moves on so quickly, especially considering what happened just there. 37 seconds of standing frozen, unresponsive. she recovers in 5 seconds. And seeing how she reacts later on to realizing the memory situation--if she was aware that happened, she would probably be concerned by it. She puts it on for a brief second at the end of the party and takes it off immediately. She's otherwise normal -- well. as normal as she is otherwise up to that point. Because that is also how she acts with pretty much any salmon head, even just kiwi herself.

I raise: Episode one, about 8:20 in. The slow zoom on kiwi as the static overtakes every other noise. This is the *exact* same behavior displayed when fishie receives the salmon head, albeit without actual concrete old video footage style flashbacks. In episode two (28:55ish) the same thing happens when she looks at the salmon head in moch's house, but this time there is technically a flashback -- kiwis grave. Fishie moves on immediately and doesn't acknowledge her behavior at all, and, seeing as it is fishie, im inclined to believe that means she does not know she is doing it. Fishie (when alone) will discuss all of her problems in immense, and usually misguided detail (bestie i promise kiwi doesn't hate you???) to the audience and/or herself. I mean she's not alone in episode one, and it is technically presession, and i guess getting struck by lightning is a decent distraction from your problems, but in episode two? She is completely alone. There is nobody with her. She went looking for moch and moch is not there. She still doesn't acknowledge the fiveish seconds she is completely frozen. This happens again and again with kiwi and salmon heads.

And then that leads you to e5. The incident. She's. well. she's doing worse. 0:50. "This will distract me if i leave it up." This is the first mention from fishie herself about how fucking weird she's being, and even then she doesn't seem concerned. I think she does not realize she's being so so incredibly weird about it. If the static and freezing is what's referred to as "distraction" then keeping it in her inventory makes it worse actually so it wouldn't really make sense unless the way it is distracting her is NOT the. well. whatever the fuck is wrong with her (affectionate). After she puts the head on there's the static all the time but for a short brief amount of time she's like significantly more normal and i don't really know if that means anything i just think it's really funny.

And then we all know what goes on during the incident i'm not analyzing this video frame by frame. um. i could. but i am not going to right now. And then she has the conversation on the table with kiwi where she like is normal for 5 minutes. Like genuinely the most. i guess stable? fishie's thought process is is like in the moments directly after the incident. She is immediately understanding with the antikiwi situation, they come to an agreement that they're like. okay now. "thank you for everything and im so sorry i couldnt do more" / "it was short, but it was nice" "i knew what i was getting into when i married you" etc etc and then they kind of rush it at the end because people won't stop dying. But then fishie is fishie and takes it in the complete opposite extreme (from. um. whatever was wrong up until now. to "oh kiwibird must secretly hate me because" and then there's no real good reason she's just like that) and it's also an issue. And i think the season two memory thing is also a part of that but this is so long already and so i'm not going to get into it rn. So bringing all of this back to my original point: the salmon head was not the cause of the curse(?) because she's been so weird all the time forever and the salmon head thing was just like. an effect. of whatever went Wrong(tm) in the season transition. like the head was a vessel to Be Worse about it but i feel like it would have worked with any salmon head she got her hands on and that it happened to be kiwico was a coincidence and also that the head wasn't cursed at all there's just something deeply wrong with fishie s3 in general and uh yeah 👍

I'm so sorry this is so disjointed i had a thesis statement and everything. alas

[anikiain]

If Ejojo has a million fans, then I am one of them. If Ejojo has ten fans, then I am one of them. If Ejojo has only one fan then that is me. If Ejojo has no fans, then that means I am no longer on earth. If the world is against Ejojo, then I am against the world.

[horangslay]

when I grow up I want to marry Jackson Wang

[br1ghtestlight]

love how elusive the years between 18 and 30 are for both bob and linda in the show. we dont know ANYTHING we don't know if linda went to college if she had friends or roommates how she met ginger if she was still living with her parents how she met hugo WHAT HER PREVIOUS JOB WAS?? and for bob we don't know if he still worked at his dads restaurant after their fight if he still lived with him where he could've lived or worked otberwise if he had friends or roommates what his plan in life was. and we'll never know the answers to these questions either bcuz I don't think the writers actually thought that far ahead

[eggcats]

I really appreciate how my au is literally "Vox becomes Alastor's housewife," and yet Vox is STILL cringefail at it. He gave himself this job, and he still can't even do it correctly.

His job is to stand there and look pretty because that's basically all he can do.

Alastor doesn't care, but also he has No Idea that Vox is internally referring to himself as his housewife. He just accepts this guy he kidnapped and started a relationship with as being essentially decoration for his home, and being like, yeah, that checks out. Guess I'll marry him about it.

[hpdfag]

making myself a proper breakfast becayse i think it would make hinata happy to know im taking care of myself ...

[heyimkana]

I will take househusband Toji and leave

i'm afraid you're gonna have to fight me nonnie 🙂