#he absolutely did do that

[eirenical]

OP, I hope you don't mind if I add your tags. :D

#i'm never over li lianhua's soft surprised face#and his fond little smile#and fang xiaobao's embarrassed little chuckle#fang-daren 100% used to bring little xiaobao into the palace#to meet people gain experience and learn things#“to prepare you for your future career xiaobao!”#and fang xiaobao 100% ran away every time to go see the tigers

Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023) | Fang Xiaobao loves tigers

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Kiss Kiss Fallen Tree!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[flwrkid14]

Tim Drake Accidentally Takes Over the World (and Didn’t Think to Mention It)

So, Janet somehow spent decades climbing her way into every government worth a damn, ruling the entire world from behind the scenes. And then, because the universe is apparently wild, she left it all to Tim.

Cut to Tim Drake, the brand-new, completely reluctant secret ruler of the entire planet. And he just… never really thought it was worth mentioning?

The Batfam finds out when Bruce stumbles across an encrypted memo traced to a mysterious Gotham office with Tim’s name on it.

Bruce, holding up the memo: “Tim. Want to explain why this document about, oh, international finance reforms is signed with your encryption key?”

Tim, not even looking up from his laptop: “Oh, yeah. That. Janet left me her ‘global influence portfolio’ or whatever. Mostly paperwork.”

The Batfam stares in total shock.

Dick sputters nearly dropping his coffee: "Wait—you’ve been managing world policies?!”

Tim, shrugging, barely paying attention as he emails the president of Germany: “Well, yeah. I figured someone had to keep things running. It's not that big a deal. I mostly just redirect some policies. You know, keep things running smoothly.”

Jason, absolutely cackling: “Are you telling me that little Replacement here is the reason for half the ‘global cooperation’ headlines?”

Tim, scrolling through emails: “They send me reports; I send suggestions. And honestly, they make it way more dramatic than it is. It's not that hard."

Barbara stares at him, half horrified, half impressed. “How did we not notice this?”

Tim blinks. “I mean, it’s not like I was actively hiding it. I assumed you guys knew I was… kind of managing these things?”

Cue utter disbelief.

Stephanie, laughing too hard to breathe: “Tim, do you have world leaders on speed dial?”

Tim, completely unfazed: “Only the important ones. They text, mostly. Oh—by the way, I might’ve influenced a minor arms control thing last week. Don’t worry; it’s all sorted.”

Bruce, looking like he’s two seconds from fainting: “Sorted? Tim, we're talking about you having global authority here. People notice these things."

Tim shrugs again as his phone buzzes with notifications. “Sure, but it’s not like they’re going to do anything too crazy. I just suggest stuff, and they listen. Honestly, it’s like herding really powerful, really overdramatic cats.”

Damian, scandalized: “You mean to tell me, Drake, that you’re manipulating world politics like it’s a game of checkers?”

Tim, still casual: “Manipulating’s a strong word. Like I said, it’s more just nudging things along.” His phone buzzes again. “Oh, hang on. France is panicking about their energy policy again.”

The Batfam tries to process the fact that Tim—Tim, who routinely forgets what day it is—is now, somehow, running the world.

And then his phone buzzes with a message from the UN Security Council.

Tim sighs, glancing down. “Oh, great. Looks like they’re debating nuclear arms again. Be right back.”

Meanwhile, the Batfam is left absolutely speechless, processing the fact that their Tim—scrawny, coffee-fueled Tim—is apparently one of the most powerful people on the planet. And to him its just another tuesday.

[egophiliac]

Please elaborate on your twst Pokémon headcannons I’m very interested

I had planned on drawing everyone for this (I made a LIST!) but it. hasn't been going well. 💀 soooo here's what I have so far!

Riddle - Roserade (I was going with 'no legendaries', otherwise I would've given him a Shaymin) (and I don't think Togedemaru is actually a hedgehog or I would've given him one of those too) (...they kind of do fit though. hmm.)

Trey - Alcremie (clover/mint cream + strawberry/ruby cream)

Cater - DITTO SQUAD! DITTO SQUAD! DITTO SQUAD!

Ace - Impidimp (I feel like there's probably a better one for him, but I can't think of it)

Deuce - Scraggy (meanwhile I KNOW deep in my heart that this is true)

Leona - Pyroar (but like. a nasty Pyroar. just a grizzly old Pyroar with the shittiest attitude imaginable. they pretend to hate each other but secretly they are a bonded pair, do not separate)

[demaparbat-hp]

Oh, Aang, you're really in it now...

This is Zu—I mean, Jian Li and Katara's second meeting in the Kyoshi Warriors AU. The first proper one, anyway.

Once they get through a minor difference of opinion or two (“I can carry my own basket!” “Never said you—” “I'm not weak!” “I didn't—” “Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean—” “Would you listen for once, woman?!” ) they'll become nearly inseparable.

For now Jian Li will carry Katara's basket all the way to the Kyoshi Warriors' dojo and, once there, they'll mercilessly tease Sokka when they see him in uniform.

[szynkaaa]

Just a gal and her Stone Monkey

this image pose template from here

HC since SWK cane change his size, the same applies for his Azure Dome form. So he can be as big as a mountain, or the size of a big yaoguai, or normal sized (whatever normal sized is for the Stone Monkey)

Much later on:

Slight NSFW under the cut

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

[latenightsundayblues]

Fucking love the final flashback montage in saw VI because the way they edited it makes it look like hoffman is pissing directly on an unconscious erickson's bald head

Ive been cry laugghing for five fucking minutes

[nibbelraz]

I completely forgot about the second "Daddy Airplane" incident

[meteortrails]

it’s literally endlessly fucking funny to me how certifiably insane post timeskip sabo is about his brothers. he remembered who luffy and ace were and they immediately rocketed to #1 on his priority list with absolutely no contest. he devotes himself to being an older brother with the same fanatical obsession that he’s been using to lead revolutions and luffy is so used to ‘older brother’ meaning ‘guy who has attached a significant portion of his self worth and meaning in life to you’ that it fully doesn’t even register as weird to him. he manages to secretly make luffy a vivre card and luffy acts this is reasonable rational behavior!!! just normal older brother shit for them to be fully neck deep in your business without ever mentioning it!!!! cannot believe they ever managed to make us think sabo was the normal rational one. what the fuck lmao

[shikai-the-storyteller]

A few notes about Realm SMP:

Tubbo hopes to have an event every week and ideally thinks this would be a 6 month server

There's a "level up" system but it will be tailored so people won't be left behind if they can't log in much

Armor and Combat is DND inspired, but it's not 100% accurate to DND

Tubbo looked at the 5 main MCYT communities he's been in / watched and that's the "pool" he chose people from

There's no plans for an in-game translator because it's expensive and also Tubbo "doesn't want to step on Quackity's toes" :(

Tubbo says he doesn't have a lot of Spanish-speaking streamers on his Discord friend list so there was a limit to how many people he could message, but he wants to add more people (he has 5 planned already)

Lore is dependent on what the people on the server do, he likes more freestyle flowing RP

There's no big team behind the server, it's just Tubbo and Tango helping him with some things he might not understand (however, he has a team he wants to use for the New Year Event he has in mind). He may look into getting some admins to help enforce rules

He made it so players can play Realm SMP with default Minecraft, he doesn't want to overwhelm people with too many mod downloads.

There is NO mod pack! Realm SMP is vanilla, it's just custom texture packs and plugins.

Tubbo says he's been overwhelmed by the amount of support it's received so far, but he's a bit nervous too

He says he doesn't have Missa added on Discord but he tried to contact him (?)

No set classes, but people can specify their skill points to unlock certain things on skill trees and build their own classes

There IS a life system (😰) but it's a bit different. There's 3 lives — if you die 3 times you're out, but it's only semi-hardcore because when you die, your stats are set to 0 and you're in spectator-mode, but players can craft an item to bring you back at 1 life and you get all your stats back.

There's no "downing" system, if you die you did, you can't be picked back up like on QSMP

No "keep inventory" on death

There's no limit to the amount of times you can be resurrected (thank god) Tubbo says it would kinda suck otherwise because then people would just get banned off the server at some point after dying x amount of times

The Nether IS enabled, the End isn't enabled yet because Tubbo wants to make a cool custom boss fight.

There will be proximity chat

Etoiles (in chat) asked about armor and Tubbo tells him he'a really glad Etoiles agreed to join, even though he wasn't planning on doing much Minecraft stuff anymore

Streamers can play off-stream

Tubbo says he has a "Badboyhalo Contingency Force" (it's Tubbo and Tango)

Tubbo says the Realm SMP concept came to him in a dream

Mob strength will scale as players "level up"

Deaths to a bug or glitch don't count, but all othet deaths will

Events won't be all PVP-based because he wants people to enjoy the events even if they aren't a huge Minecraft player

Two banned items: mending books and elytra, which will be tied to future events

Tubbo says he's happy to do anything himself, but if anyone really wants to be an admin, it'd be voluntary like a Twitch mod kind of deal since it's just him and Tango. (He already has a team of people he goes to for admin stuff, it wouldn't be random people being admins)

In the hour before the server launches, he'll be showing off server features

He reminded people in the player Discord it's just for fun, the life system isn't meant to be competitive and he doesn't want sweats to be dicks about it since not every player is a big Minecraft player

He has a 6 month timeframe in mind but it'll last as long as people want to play, if it fizzles out in a month then it fizzles out in a month, it lasts as long as people play it.

There will be NPCs "When he gets them sorted" but he's a one-man army doing everything

He reminds people to "manage their expectations" because he's only one guy – he can't do events like Purgatory like Quackity because he doesn't have a massive team like he did.

He says if his merch stuff goes well then maybe he can get 1 or 2 people to help with the Realm project

Tubbo is still answering Q&A stuff on stream right now, but these are the biggest things he's said so far!

[shorthaltsjester]

Why are your children bound by rules you will not follow?

Critical Role, Campaign 3, Downfall Parts 1-3 // Commandments of The Prime Deities according to the Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting Reborn

[katabay]

THERE AIN'T NO ATLAS, KID. NEVER WAS.

if you peel him back far enough, there's nothing but a pile of theater masks

like, it's really fun how fontaine starts spiralling out the closer jack gets to him in the final arc of the game and returns to appropriating the image of family (the fake family in the beginning, the flawed father position later) to try and appeal to jack in some way but it's like. buddy. baby. you already took off your mask. anything you try and put on after this is going to come across as cheap and desperate. the magic is gone! and personally? I'm hooting and hollering

⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / insta

[crazymecjc]

once more, with feeling.

(fanart for @kristalliankka’s fantastic fic, an iterative approach! go check out the whole trilogy of works, they’re so incredibly good)

[egophiliac]

the lovers, reversed

(aka I'm still freaking out about Jou)

[moonlightdancer26]

One thing that never fails to shock me is how many Marauder stans I’ve seen hating on Draco for saying this line to Hermione in GoF:

“Granger, they’re after Muggles,” said Malfoy. “D’you want to be showing off your knickers in midair? Because if you do, hang around . . . they’re moving this way, and it would give us all a laugh.”

Yet somehow they can’t apply that same logic to what happened in SWM:

James whirled about; a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of graying underpants.

Many people in the small crowd watching cheered. Sirius, James, and Wormtail roared with laughter.

I’ve seen Marauder stans who bash Draco and call him horrible for “making a SA joke,” but then go ahead and defend what the Marauders did (which was ACTUAL SA, not just a gross joke) in SWM as if that’s not much worse. The irony is ridiculous.

That’s always confused me because… they can clearly see the harm in a character making a SA joke, but they gloss over or even justify their favourites characters actually doing what said character joked about??? Make it make sense.