#hc versions bc i know this person lol

[jayesprite]

hey can i get uhh troll rose lalonde <3 kanaya, w the canon design for rose (page 004247) but in the black dress + pink sash outfit? :D

I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

[noirandchocolate]

Curious about this, ‘cause I’ve been doing headcanon stuff about my faves a lot lately.

No “combo of these” choice because I’m asking about the primary way, not for the only way or every way. Whichever you use/that happens most often, that’s your answer to the poll.

But feel free to tell me your combo in reblog text, tags, or replies!

Reblogging to send this to a farther audience would be very nice of you btw!

(Also, all the ways I put in the poll and any other methods people use are valid and cool. It’s headcanons—hopefully the main goal is to have fun and maybe share what you make with others! Just making sure you all know I think that. <3)

[4giorno]

underappreciated thing from the stuffpack reveal: they only said they were incorporating "nordic" design. they didnt say scandinavian 💖

[swarvey]

Can you do bachelor hcs where farmer is like super hurt? Like blood gushing from their abdomen or smth?? Like basically life threatening

when they think you're not going to make it | sdv bachelors x gn!reader

summary -> how some of the boys react to seeing you come out of the mines unconscious with nearly fatal wounds. warnings -> blood and injuries, panic attacks, harsh language

a/n: basically a more severe version of this series lol, i hope you enjoy!!! <3 alex's is probs the longest bc i was inspired heh, i started with alex and shane, but lmk if y'all want more!

alex

feels like his throat is closing in on itself when he sees you all beaten up in harvey's clinic

harvey has to yell at linus to get him out of the room when he keeps trying to reach you

completely panics at the thought of losing you

he just doesn't want to be alone again

it was no secret alex hated hospitals, and harvey's small clinic was no exception. he always tried to leave his appointments with the doctor as soon as he could, and although he would accompany you to yours, he preferred to stand outside until you finished. everything about the environment was too much for him, too painful.

so when linus — the local homeless guy he never really cared to talk to — caught him on the street and practically begged him to go to the clinic, he wasn't entirely convinced. only when your name slipped off his tongue did his eyes widen, his feet moving before his mind could catch up.

alex hated hospitals, and now he had a reason to hate them even more.

"y/n?"

his voice was barely audible as the world around him began to fade, only focusing on your paled face and the blood-soaked bandage wrapped around your torso. his breath got stuck in his chest, and an all too familiar feeling began to swarm him —images of his poor mother laying in a cold hospital bed, monitors beeping rapidly as the doctors failed to save her.

not again. please, not again.

"get him out of here!" harvey demanded, pushing him away from your body. alex blinked, realizing he'd moved past the doctor and was desperately trying to hold onto you. "alex, you have to step away, or else i won't be able to help them."

"stop it, they need me! let me go," he loudly protested. he knew it was childish; he knew he sounded like the same kid he was all those years ago, begging to see his mom one last time, but he didn't care. this was you, and he couldn't lose you. he couldn't lose anyone else.

despite his efforts, alex was swiftly dragged away by linus's unexpected strength. before he knew it, he was standing outside the clinic in the cool evening air, chest heaving as he tried to breathe.

"take some deep breaths," the older man said, somehow sounding level-headed. "it'll be okay."

"the fuck do you know?" alex snapped, voice wavering. "you don't know anything about what it's like, do you? what it's like to lose someone? to watch someone die?" his voice hitched, tears beginning to well in his eyes before spilling down his cheeks. "i can't do this. i-i can't do this again, not again, not after last time — i can't—"

"hey." strong hands planted themselves on his shoulders, and his panicked gaze met linus's kind eyes. "this isn't the first time i've dragged people out of the mines, alright? trust me, i've seen worse. they'll be okay."

"you don't know that," alex replied weakly. "they might not make it."

"they're strong, you know that."

"she was strong, too. my mom was the strongest person on this planet." more tears blurred his vision. "look where she ended up."

linus sighed, dropping his arms. "she was," he agreed, and alex looked up in surprise, "but this is different, alex."

"how do you—"

"alex." he turned, meeting harvey's exhausted smile. "you can come in now." alex nodded, wiping his face with his sleeve and giving linus a a grateful look before walking in.

your face was still pale and you weren't awake, but it was clear you were much better than before. a new, clean bandage covered your abdomen, and an iv was attached to your arm.

alex let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "so, they'll be okay?" he asked, sitting on the chair beside you.

"yes, with some recovery, of course," harvey said, sounding just as relieved as alex felt. "though, i would strongly advise not letting them go to the mines for a while. an injury like this won't heal quicky, and it will likely scar. please talk to them after they wake."

"got it, doc. seriously, thank you so much." with another smile and a nod, harvey walked to another part of the clinic, leaving alex alone with you. he kept repeating the doctor's words in his head as he grabbed your limp hand, watching your chest fall up and down with each breath. "you'll be okay," he whispered, though it wasn't you he was trying to convince.

as alex drifted off to sleep next to you, he silently reminded himself to stop by linus's tent the following morning.

shane

he usually acts pissed at you whenever you get hurt, but it's only bc he knows you can handle yourself

usually you can, anyway, which is why he's worried when you don't come home when you said you would

he's quick to leave the house and immediately starts looking for you (tries to convince himself you're just running late)

in complete shock when he sees you in dr. harvey's arms as he rushes into the clinic with maru beside him

shane glanced at the clock for the fifth time in the last minute, frown deepening when you still didn't appear in the doorway. he could practically hear you chastising him for being too dramatic, but he didn't care — you'd never been this late before, and a tugging feeling in his gut told him there was something wrong.

swearing under his breath, he threw on his jacket and left the farm, telling himself that you probably just got caught up at the saloon, or maybe you stopped by the community center. then again, you had mentioned you wanted to get back into fishing—

"maru, get the door!"

a cold wave washed over shane's entire body, making him halt mid-step.

all he could focus on was your bloodied face hanging from harvey's arms as he rushed you into the clinic, maru hot on his tail.

for a second, time seemed to stop.

then, he was sprinting to catch the door and run in after them, panicked words spewing from his mouth before he could even process his thoughts.

"what the— what the fuck happened? where did you even—? are they going to be okay, oh shit, are they gonna wake up—"

"shane," harvey gritted out through his teeth, "you need to leave, now."

immediately, shane stood his ground, jaw clenched. "i'm not fuckin' going anywhere, not 'til they're awake."

"shane," the doctor repeated in a softer tone, eyes pleading with him, "i can't work on them with you in the room. this wound is deep — i need to operate, and you can't be here."

"please," maru added quietly, looking more distressed than shane had ever seen the typically laidback girl. "th-they might not make it."

harvey gave her a look, but didn't deny her words. shane felt his stomach drop.

then, wordlessly, he turned and slammed open the door into the waiting room, forcing himself into a seat as he bit back panicked tears. maru's words kept playing back in his head like a broken record, and suddenly, shane realized he might have to face a terrifying world without you in it.

"fuck," he cursed, letting his head fall into his hands to hide the hot tears streaming down his face. at first, he thought he was angry — he always told you to be careful, that you shouldn't be running around so damn carelessly all the time, you're not fuckin' invincible. you never listened, of course, always spewing something stupid about doing what's best for everyone. after hearing that phrase more than a handful of times, shane thought it was pretty reasonable for him to be a little pissed.

in that moment, though, who the hell was he kidding? he was nowhere near pissed; he was scared.

you couldn't die, not yet — not when he just got better, not when he still had so much left to say to you. the thought of never being able to see your smile again made him nauseous, and he wished he could rewind back to the morning so he could tug you back into bed with him. stay, he would say. you're not leaving my side today, alright?

he knew it wouldn't have worked. he would still try, though.

shane didn't realize how long he stayed in the same position until the waiting room doors creaked open, his head shooting up at the sound. harvey greeted him with a nod, which he returned stiffly as he stood up.

"d-did everything go okay?" he asked, swallowing in an attempt to soothe his rough voice. "are they—?"

"they're fine," harvey replied, a small smile upturning his lips at the sound of shane's relieved swears.

"thank fuck, i don't know what i would've— it doesn't matter, can i come in?" he barely waited for a response before slipping past the doctor and finding your bed.

he caught maru on her way out, giving her another nod. she smiled, wider than harvey's, before making her way to the other room.

shane hesitantly grabbed your hand as he sat down in the chair beside you, scared he might break you if he held you too roughly. when you didn't stir, he laced his fingers with yours and held them to his forehead, pressing a firm kiss to the back of your hand.

"you scared the shit out of me," he sighed, shaking his head. "god, i don't know what i would've done if you— if i couldn't—" he couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence, resorting to giving your hand another kiss. "you better wake up, you hear me? i'll fuckin' kill you if you don't." he half expected you to answer. he could hear your voice in his head telling him to stop acting so tough, that you could see right through him.

instead, the sound of your steady breaths filled the room, and even then, shane felt like that was your way of telling him everything would be okay.

[homelessmeowmeow]

my (future) fic recs for future me (and if interested, others who come across this) (with reviews!!)

a = angst

f = fluff

s = smut

hc = hurt/comfort (aka my personal fav)

stray kids

s,f -> minho hard thoughts by @milkteabinniechan omg the switch from sickly sweet to sickly sexy HELLO???? overall 10/10

s -> kidnapped by paboracha by @bandgie honestly kinda cute. but the smut is *chef's kiss*. we love being kidnapped on accident, don't we?

s -> lip ring leeknow by @withleeknow i really needed a fic to indulge in this lee know look specifically, and this gave!!! like this take was just amazing.

f,hc -> 📱skz texts — they find out you fainted from another member by @giddyfatherchris very sweet T_T. i guess i have a soft spot for fics that take care of a tired reader (probably bc i wish someone talked some sense into me LOL) but the fluff is 10/10. v fulfilling!!!

f -> hyunjin x photographer!reader (friends to lovers) by @astraystayyh this writer specifically delivers. AND I GOBBLE IT UP ALL THE TIMEEE. this one specifically feels like an actual painting yk? i love her tendency to articulate emotions so gorgeously. i mean who doesn't is the real question. REALLY RECOMMEND THIS WRITER.

a,hc,s -> ice on whiskey ─── hwang hyunjin by @starlostseungmin i will never ever hate on an enemies2lovers fic. and this one specifically!! and the ending was so fulfilling and gave me such a huge sense of belonging. really made me feel relieved for the protagonist.

s -> bangchan (not)shy by @brainddeadd two words. so dirty OMDS. but we love it! 10/10

f,s -> first time with han jisung by @straykeedz ADORABLE. it's so cute i could pass away. i did not see the day i would call smut cute, but here we are! it's so cuteee

s -> [ never enough ] hwang hyunjin by @hwajin VERY descriptive and I mean it in the best way possible! and it gave me a butterflies (im shy.) but WE LOVE! 10/10 a piece of literature for the books, might i add!!

f,a,s -> cat and mouse - lee know by @hyunnie04 we love an enemies2lovers with a little workplace exploitation T_T. but i lovee the transition into lovers and MISUNDERSTANDINGSS. and it's so lee know LMAO. loved the confession, but wow. the parts after it was so *chef's kiss*. I LOVED IT.

a,s -> horror house with lee know by @tasteleeknow-remade did i mention i loved enemies2lovers? didn't think so. I LOVE THIS TROPE SO MUCH. the angst was also just, so yummy. he's so annoying and i love it. 100/10. I could read this for the rest of my life and never get bored. GUYS! THIS IS MY FAVOURITE.

s -> sharing a bed series with skz by @skzdarlings -> bang chan ; friends2lovers -> lee know ; friends2lovers -> seo changbin ; friends2lovers -> hwang hyunjin ; friends2lovers -> han jisung ; enemies2lovers -> lee felix ; enemies2lovers -> kim seungmin ; enemies2lovers ; sequel -> yang jeongin ; enemies2lovers this entire series is so worth it! please give it a readdd.

s -> one little lie | hyung line by @candylix -> part 1 -> part 2 -> part 3 the concept O_o. but pls, this was so good. like kinda dirty, but still so good, what the heck! i wish i knew how to write bro.

Home - bang chan | f version | s version by @aeliuss guys. the fluffy version felt like i was on a cloud, but a very comfy warm one. like a warm hug. a warm cup of hot chocolate in the winter. maybe with a few marshmallows on top? THE SMUTTY VERSION?! HELLO? MY SANITY? and the ending was so cute aww

nct

s -> alpha!soulmate!jeno by @starryhyuck also very hot! why does jeno suit this trope so well compared to all the other nct members?? but yeah. i loved it. that's it.

a,s -> mad at you | l.mk by @sincerelyneo we love a little pre-angst. nah but this one was also so good. and also so mark?? you'll get what i mean when you read it. but yeah. love!

s -> Spot! (challengers!johnjae x afab!reader) by @starryhyuck omds. absolutely love love love!! i didn't even watch the movie and this was so fun. and of course the iconic due, johnjae. highly recommend!! such a hot girl read.

my favorite masterlists

stray kids masterlist by @baby-yongbok

masterlist by @2chopsticks2eyes

Lee Know Fic Recommendations by @littlemisshyperfixation

Master-masterlist by @writingforstraykids

[luffyvace]

Akutagawa as your boyfriend ☀︎

Umm happy late b day Aku…😭 I’m totally super late for this I KNOW. But! I’m doing it anyway! >:3 late or not :P Plus I Just wanted to write for him since I really like this dude (〃ω〃) (Light blood, death and killing mentions but not in detail)

Akutagawa b day hcs first >;}

planning everything out and hiding it from him is kind of a task. 😅 the guy’s pretty stealthy himself so ya gotta make sure he doesn’t sneak up on you while your prepping things.

Buuut with the help of everyone from the port mafia (except Mori- joking! he does help but Elise does 90% of the work) you planned a mini party <3

Gin got the food! (Figs and tea enters chat)

Higuchi got the decorations! (streamers, balloons, tables, chairs)

Hirotsu keeps akutagawa busy (tea and chatting LOL)

Elise makes the banners (hints poorly drawn dead versions of everyone—extra blood for aku<3)

Kajii makes (lemon shaped) confetti poppers!!

Koyo hosted/recorded it all 💗

Chuuya brought wine and the cake (both were really expensive and tasty good job Chuuya)

Q brought lots of presents!! :3

Annnnd Tachihara! Brought some ~port mafia style~ party games (you played mafia LOL)

now general relationship things 😚

He treats you like how he does Gin, there is peace between the two of you and you have friendly interactions. (Romantic as well, for you) he will even go as far as to do favors for you but we’ll dabble in that more later ☆)

acts of service is his #1 love language. There’s no convincing me otherwise. When I say ‘he will do anything for you’ besides killing this is what I mean. You really don’t have to ask either. I talk about this some more later but, examples: done with your plate? He’ll take it. He remembers you said you needed xyz, he got it for you. You said you wanted to ____ but you fell asleep, so he did it.

hope you get along with Gin because to continue a relationship with him past 2 minutes, you need to. He will never choose friends over family. I stand on that.

honest man.

Its canon, of course this would apply to a relationship too :)

you never have to worry about him lying, thankfullly. the bad news is…this guy isn’t just honest..he’s brutally honest 😀

which he’s not dumb, but he’s also not one to pacify feelings. So say you created something and you’ve been working on this piece for a while now, (whether your an artist, writer, sculptor, something else—whatever), he takes a look at it and singlehandedly points out all the flaws 🧍‍♀️

not in a rude way-

just genuinely telling your mistakes. Which- I know can hurt because you spent a lot of time on it…..but as lest you can fix it now..? 🤷‍♀️

He respects you. Of course he does! How could you love someone you don’t respect?!

why I’m mentioning this then?? Because to him, respect is very important. There’s few that he respects personally and not because of his job.

like Dazai (sorta bc of his job but shh), Gin or Atsushi (somewhat)

And just to clear it up those he has respect for because of his job would be mori or hirotsu

so the fact that you have his respect is a mile stone!! 👯‍♀️💃💃

He’s loyal but it ain’t a fault 😋🤪

seriously tho this dude is still chasing Dazai even after he “disgraced the mafia’s name” and left to the ada

So for you?? This is simply proof that he ain’t neva leavin you, and you ain’t neva leavin him 😙 (I don’t make the rules)

even If he disagrees with your actions/opinions he will talk it out with you 😱

now he might sound a bit upset, and if your acting absolute bonkers rn and need some sense smacked into you- he might yell too. But that’s mostly if it’s for your well being.

other than that, yes the hotheaded Ryuu will calm down for you (that kinda rhymes ☝️🤓)

Bonus!:

living with the Akutagawa’s! ( ✌︎'ω')✌︎

going more into acts of service, you and Gin hardly ever have to worry about chores or errands

he doesn’t really do it for the purpose of your validation, and genuinely doesn’t expect a thank you either

”hm? Oh…it’s nothing.”

Is his response when you try to thank him

he does it because he’s responsible not for praise

although I will say, seeing as though he has a lot of respect for you, as I said earlier, you may get a semi flustered/shocked facial expression

not necessarily blushing, just a expression that shows it caught him off guard ;P

Its not uncommon to see him cleaning around the house and asking if you have any laundry

housewife Ryuunosuke LOL 😂

When goes out to get groceries he asks you and Gin if there’s anything specific you want him to buy and if yes, he’ll get it for you

just like in the anime with Gin, he doesn’t mind doing favors for you as well <3

if you decide you wanna clean up or go to the store yourself he won’t stop you and be like ‘nonono I got it you sit down 🥺’. I don’t mean this in a bad way but he’s not a gentleman on purpose

I feel he’s the type of guy to do things that you consider gentlemanly but he just considers it being polite

oh it’s fine he’s got the groceries 👌

got a order for pick up? Oh well he was going out anyway, he’ll get it 🤷

he’s got the door 👍

don’t worry about the bill he’ll pay it (restaurant or house bill 😉)

another thing…! ♡

sometimes when you and Gin wanna watch a movie but Ryuu’s still doing the dishes….

Rashomon!

do the dishes :3 (while he watches the movie with you guys)

I wasn’t gonna write these at first but I’m real glad I did! I love these and finally wrote for our guy Ryuunosuke!!

WHEN I TYPED DAZAI’S NAME IT AUTOCORRECTED FO DASANI AT FIRST HAHAHHAHA

[depressopax]

HII could you maybe write something for Berlin like HCs being in a relationship with him, maybe with connections to the new show or sm.

(Im actually so glad I found someone who writes for this fandom bc there’s literally no one nearly 😭)

Berlin - Relationship headcanons

Thank you for the request!! <3 I'm happy to see more LCDP fans here omg 😭 Hope ya like it! :)

Smut version can be found here

Pairing: Berlin/Andrés de Fonollosa x gn!reader Genre: Fluff, headcanons Warning(s): Spoilers for LCDP. Cuss words, Berlin being a bit possessive, reader uses they/them pronouns Words: 1145 Summary: Being in a relationship with Berlin would include…  English is not my first language - lmk if there's any spelling mistakes so I can improve my writing! &lt;3

Being in a relationship with this man would be a roller-coaster of emotions…

But you can’t really complain!

People see him as “cold and self-centered”, which is partially true.

BUT when he’s in love, it’s like his whole personality changes.

You are his whole world, and he will do everything to put his ego aside, and show you just how loving he can be.

And boy, he succeeds… 

When he first saw you, it was love at first sight, or at least for him.

He would find out everything about you, what you like to eat, what hobbies you have, and the places you like to be at.

He would just wait for you to approach him first, but it wasn’t that easy…

After a while, he stopped being stubborn and started talking to you.

Berlin would make sure you fall for him, and that would be his biggest goal.

He would take you on extraordinary dates and totally spoil you.

He prefers calm private dates, but wouldn’t mind going to a bar/nightclub if you like that.

Despite his sophisticated looks, he knows how to party. (That one scene in Berlin when he’s at the punk club LMAOO)

Seeing you hyped up makes him happy, so how can he not love partying with you?

The two of you having lazy mornings together. Berlin is a night owl, and getting him out of bed in the morning is a challenge.

He’ll also never let you leave bed. - “Just 5 more minutes, love! - “Are you gonna leave me, all cold and lonely in bed, huh?”

Berlin wouldn’t give up his flirting until you fall in love with him. 

Once that happens - he won’t shut up about you

Like, EVER.

He would drive Sergio and his other friends insane with how much he talks about you, telling them a bit too much about his love life… 

Berlin is the cheesiest guy you’ll ever meet, tbh.

And he takes that as a compliment.

He would write you love letters, send good-morning AND goodnight messages to you, and bring you flowers every now and then. 

Berlin is a man with many talents, and he loves impressing you, especially with his singing

Cheesy as it sounds, he even sings you serenades to express his love and devotion.

You’d have to put up with his weird and impulsive ideas.

Whether it’s planning a spontaneous trip, a heist, etc…

He needs someone to tell him to calm the hell down lol

As seen in the show, Berlin is very passionate and a bit unpredictable.

Being in a relationship is no exception.

Everyday with him is like an adventure, and he knows how to spice things up to not end up like a “boring couple”. 

His goal would be making sure the honeymoon phase never ends. 

He would make sure to tell you how amazing and good-looking you are EVERYDAY. 

He is not afraid to argue with you, but would rather admit he is “wrong” rather than have you be mad at him for too long. 

He’s not always good at reading your emotions and knows what you’re feeling, but tries to. 

It breaks his heart to see you upset, and will try to make you feel better. 

He can be rather possessive too. If someone stares at you for a bit too long, or flirt with you, he’s not afraid to show them that “you are his”.

He’s extra protective of you when you are around his friends. He wants to make sure you feel safe, and also that no one tries hitting on you…

Especially if you are shy, he’d be very close to you, smile at you when you talk and laugh extra loud if you say something funny. 

He makes sure your friends like him. 

He wants to make a good impression on everyone, but especially when it is your friends and family. 

Big fan of PDA. He’s a man that is not afraid to kiss you in public, and he practically never lets go of your hand when you’re outdoors together. 

When cuddling, he prefers being the big spoon. 

One of Berlin’s love languages is touch.

He enjoys having his hand on your thigh, giving your shoulders soft massages, and forehead kisses. He’s the type of guy to kiss your hands, too.

If you have long hair, he tends to fidget with it, running his fingers through it, stroking it away from your face and even braiding it.

Berlin definitely treats you like a god/goddess. 

But the relationship would also be challenging from time to time.

Berlin being a criminal does bother you.

Your fear is for him to get caught and end up in jail.

He’d have to reassure you a lot that he won’t get caught, promising you that he will be fine.

But don’t worry, he makes sure to keep that promise. 

His pet names for you: (My) love, honey, babe… 

His phone is full with pictures of you and you’re definitely both his home- and lock-screen. 

He has lots of money, and spends them on you, whether you like it or not. 

Berlin enjoys luxury and wants to give you a luxurious life.

His dream is to travel and see the world with you by his side.

If you don’t speak Spanish, he would offer to teach it to you. 

He is very overprotective and makes sure you keep a distance from his work. 

But he does enjoy impressing you with dramatic stories about his heists.

During his most difficult and dangerous heists, he will think of you and keep on fighting so he can come back home to you. 

When he’s away for a longer time, Berlin makes sure to text and call you with regular updates. But in all honesty, he just misses your voice.

Like I said earlier, he is an unpredictable man, and if someone is mean to you, yikes… - “Just drop it, Andrés!” “No, babe… I’ll have a ‘chat’ with them…”

Remember the throwback scene of Berlin and the man that made fun of his bow tie? 

Let’s just say, whoever insulted you will return to you and apologize, trembling and crying from pain and fright.  

…Berlin would just return to you with a smug smile, pretending like nothing happened… 

And act all clueless when you confront him about it. 

With you, Berlin is soft and passionate, but others view him as your “scary boyfriend”, a title he accepts with pride. 

To summarize… Despite Berlin's cold exterior, he is the complete opposite with you. He has so much love to give, and isn’t scared to do so. He will make sure to worship you and make sure you feel loved. All he wants is to spend his time with you, and give you the passion, excitement and devotion you deserve. Being together with him is definitely not boring.

I have such hate-love relationship to Berlin bruh 😭 Andrés in Berlin >>>>>>> LCDP

[bearw-me]

I read both your lute x friend reader hcs and adored themmm!!

Could I request a follow up of their first time together (I'm interested to see if previously being friends would ease some possible tension or maybe make it even more nerve wracking lol)

orrr if you don't write smut (sorry I couldn't find any rules) could I request their first date together?

it occurs to me that i should make a rules thingy, but just your luck bc i love your request + lute! so i will be doing both scenarios!

𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐞 & 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐋𝐮𝐭𝐞!

𐐒 includes : lute x gender neutral! reader 𐐒 cw : fluff, smut, nsfw 𐐒 summary : first date hcs first up + the smuts at the end under the cut 𐐒 note : we are now a lute blog, sorry, not sorry + never tried to write smut, lmk how it went!

𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐞

assuming here that lute sets up the date by herself:

she'd like to do something really romantic, and personal on one hand

she's only known romance for herself through heavens versions of it, the classic pure kind of love she's been exposed to

so a date would be sort of traditional by her standards

maybe take you out to a nice, lowkey restaurant and then find a nice cloud up in heaven to sit with you afterwards

just really wants to talk and be physically close with you

(if Lute asks you on a date its her obligation to pay for you btw, just enjoy yourself)

even if you were friends first, Lute still stresses about messing up your shared relationship, both romantically and platonically (like you haven't already seen her 'flaws')

but being the strong angel that heaven demands of her, she tries not to let her nerves show

gets frustrated at herself for not being able to express her emotions for you correctly

like she commands one of heavens armies for crying out loud, how can she not articulate that she loves spending time with you properly!

So, I think her words may be a bit jumbled and come out a little rude or completely-not what she means

but her actions seem to speak louder

like the way she sits hip to hip with you, or the way her wings hover around your body, or even the way she can firmly hold your hand. proudly, confidently

and previously being friends allows her to be more comfortable around you (enough to tease and bully you still at least)

doesn't know shit about being in a relationship for sure, but with you she's comfortable enough to want to try

𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞

for your first time, she'd have to be super trusting of you

and lets be real, every time she thinks about it or you bring up intimate things with her: her face is beat red

but she doesn't mind feeling wanted in that way. . . in fact it would turn her on

of course its Lute's FIRST first time, so there's some nerves to be had, but mostly in embarrassing herself. . . frankly she's not totally sure what she should be doing. . . ?

Where- Where should she put her hands?

listen, i didn't know where to put this so im putting this hc here: Lute's upper back, where her wings start are super ticklish and super sensitive. being an angel, with her wings and back being 'a weak spot' for battle. . . its an area she'd be hesitant about. . . but she trusts you

she lets go of all her anxieties though once she realizes this is exactly what she wants

unintentionally gives you a ton of praise when you do something that makes her feel good

probably swears (a fuck ton) under her breath + unintentional love bombs

Lute would definitely let you take the reins at first, just so she can get a sense of things and to start building up her confidence a bit

and its nice to let her hands run up and down your body like she's dreamed of (on that note, she's very attentive to little noises or sighs you make)

she wants to make you feel good too, in fact, this little devil in disguise has probably been waiting for this moment

definitely wouldn't mind being the dominant one (in fact i think she'd love it)

Lute rolling the two of you over in order to sit on your lap and straddle you. . .

rolling her hips while she rides you

Fucking adores your little faces and how good she's making you feel

(last one i promise) she wouldn't be opposed to leaving at least one little bite mark on your neck

i lowkey think there was a ton i could've said but i kept the ones i could think about right now, thanks for loving lute + my hcs for her!

[via-l0ve]

OMG UR MIKE SCHMIDT HCS ARE PERFECT!!!!!!!!! pls do a part two 🙏🙏

(btw can I be 😾 anon? )

Dating Mike Schmidt Hcs PT. 2!❣️

a/n: ABSOLUTELY!!! thank you sm 😾 anon <3 i love u! this also includes just some general head cannons of him because he’s my baby.

warnings: nothing :)

mike drinks coffee and energy drinks all the time

his favorite flavor of monster is the original or the Strawberry dreams

if you like monster (i’m an addict) he buys you one every time he buys one for himself

when he was working at freddy’s you’d patch him up if he ever got hurt :(

you teach him how to bake so he can teach Abby

You’re the only person Abby likes her brother to be with

she incorporates you into her drawings after a while of knowing you

mike is so happy when he sees you drawn in because his sister’s approval means a lot to him even if she’s only ten

it takes a while for mike to open up to you

but when he does he kinda has to break it up into small bits

he’s surprised when you hug him and comfort him bc what no one’s ever done that before

his love language is most definitely words of affirmation and physical touch

mike is so stressed with his work schedule so he can’t always be there physically but he always, without fail, every. day. sends you a good morning and good night text.

that might not seem like much but it’s everything to me okay!!!!

“hey baby, good morning :) i love you the most and i hope you have an amazing day. im on my way to work now but when i get out ill text you and when i get home ill give you lots of kisses. i love you.”

that’s so fucking cute

you guys have frequent date nights that just consist of laying on the couch or in his bed and watching a movie while he lays on your lap or on your chest

Abby usually interrupts because she “can’t sleep” but we all know it’s just because she wants to watch the movie

Mike secretly has a savings account for the two of you

he wants the best for you and when he can give you the world he will

but for right now he’ll pay for some stuff and give you kisses afterwards

he makes playlists that remind him of you

he loves to give you his clothes

or, if you don’t want those, he gives you blankets of his that smell like him

Mike notices the little things

like if you told him a story about your cousin and how they pissed you off

and then you brought them up again

he would remember the incident but he wouldn’t remember their name

“oh isn’t that the cousin who did all of that stuff to you?”

you guys have deep talks at 2am while he lays on your stomach and you comb through his hair with your fingers and you guys just talk and make out

his lips are soft but his hands aren’t

you definitely flirt with him all the time to make him blush

he hates feet

like everyone wears socks in his house or he will shoot his eyes out

he also hates canned corn

don’t ask me why i think this is just do

he’s scared of being alone

he also most definitely uses “:) :( :/ .-.” instead of actual emojis

he laughs at all of your jokes

even if they’re just not funny

he dosent want you to get sad lol

he’s always scared he’s not enough for you

he works a lot and he’s constantly tired and he makes minimum wage so it’s not like he can take you out to fancy dates or anything

he opens up about how he feels and when you tell him how much you adore your little mundane activities he gets all teary eyed and just hugs you so tight

:(((

he just wants to be the best version of himself for you

he adores you

off topic - he’s a lightweight when he drinks

he’ll stumble into the house drunk and just clinging onto you like a sloth

poor baby

he just deserves the world

[aardvaark]

leverage characters listed from most to least transgender, go

all of them are tied at #1 obviously! okayyy if i have to try and list in order, its def sophie first and then everyone else i think. maybe sophie, eliot, everyone else.

sophie: probably the biggest theme in her character development is about identity. complex relationship with her name & childhood. her "real name" ie birth name doesn’t represent who she is anymore, to the point that she now says her real name is sophie devereaux (in redemption). nate essentially deciding that he no longer *needs* to know her past or her "real name" is a significant moment that symbolically lays to rest one of the central conflicts of their relationship. she’s constantly analysing the way the world perceives her, societal expectations, gendered expectations, etc. has literal "dead" names bc many of her aliases are allegedly dead lmao. in other words, a lot can be said about her journey being like a trans allegory. i also especially love the hc that she’s a trans woman, it’s one of my faves!! (and hopefully tumblr will be a functional website for once if i link to @transsophiedevereaux ‘s tags on a post here. also shoutout to transsophiedevereaux in general like YES the trans!sophie headcanon and also you’re just awesome!)

eliot: significant theme about change & becoming a better/different person. becoming the version of yourself that you actually want to be, that you need to be.

parker: "you were a teenage girl" "only sort of!". gender neutral name, which is very possibly a chosen name. thinks of herself as just parker, and as a thief - doesn’t want/require any other labels or identities, probably including "woman".

hardison: "normal is what works for you", very accepting. talks a lot about change and self acceptance and is a source of info + comfort on this topic for other characters. implied to have went through a time of being pretty lost, but with nana’s help, found a lot more confidence in who he is.

nate: also big themes of change, identity, choosing who you are/will be. really a theme of rebirth. however this is so clearly meant in the most catholic way possible

wrote most of this super late last night so um please forgive any coherency issues!! but i love talking about this show and the characters and trans hcs so much that it was essential for me to immediately start replying lol. thank you so much for the ask!!

[lionmythflower]

alr guys, gender HC time :D

starting w James

My man is 100% trans-

Him, Pete and marls all transitioned together :D

His parents are completely cool w it

He/him or he/her pronouns it depends

either js a trans guy or bigender idk

so either ftm or female to bigender :)

Pete now

Transsss :D

He/they/it pronouns

Still has a kind of feminine look

And used makeup and stuff :D

and like I said, they transitioned w James and marls

his mom is kinda..... iffy Abt it... Like- will still dead name him and call him a girl

but says she's supportive

but anyways

ftm

effie bought him their first binder and he cried <3

Sirius:

genderfluid!!!!!

and switches between she/her, he/him and they/them pronouns (sometime combines them tho)

them and marls are gender fluid icons

And bond over it

The marauders and marls helped him figure out her gender :)

Remus!

Trans guy lol

Ftm

Poor thing has two versions of 'time of the month'

he/they pronouns

his parents are ok w it

They were a bit weird abt it at first tho

he transitioned in like 2 years the same time Mary did so they js switched dorms lol

Marlene ml <3

genderfluid!!!

Male to gender fluid tho

Her mom is not supportive and very open abt that fact

So they mainly go to Effie for anything she needs

transitioned w Pete and James

Mainly talks to Sirius, Mary and some Barty abt gender shit

lilyyyyy

Trans mtf

Her and Mary transitioned together

:)

Her, Pete and Evan are all trans asexuals so they have a group

She/they pronouns

Her mom is honestly supportive

But doesn't rlly know how she can help so js gets whatever Lily needs to feel comfortable:)

Pandoraaa

Transsss (mtnb or mtpg)

(.... they're all trans in someway)

But they're either pangender (my main hc for them) or nonbinary

They/them pronoun preference

But rlly any pronouns is fine

Evan and pandora transitioned at the same time so their parents literally js switched their names and was like fine js pretend ur the other person

feminine presenting tho so most ppl think they're a girl but they honestly don't care that much

Evannn

trans lololol

He/they pronouns

Bigender (ftbg)

Like I said, he and Pandora transitioned at the same time

Barty

Nonbinary, they/him

Prefers they/them but only rlly their friends know that bc their not out to hardly anyone bc of their dad

Their mom knows and supports Barty

(Dorcas, barty n pandora are the they/them group lol)

Dorcas

Nonbinaryyyy (ftnb)

They/them

they're parents dgaf 💀💀

Their like ok u do u cas

But their supportive

Regulus

Trans.

Lmaoooo

But yea ftm

He/they

:)

Should I do one more like the others? Like Emmeline, Benji, Amelia, Edgar and them??? (Also ppl need to give me more info on the other ppl that aren't the marauderr, valkeries and Skittles plsss)

(I've had this is my drafts for fucking MONTHS so um heh sorry)

[alwaysshallow]

Bestie something tells me Konig would be close to his mom/grandma. Maybe Hes raised by women in his family mostly so when he dates y/n he actually treats his lady right. (And yes he is afraid of his mom’s displeased face lol like hes terrified of some of the woman in his family😂). I wouldnt say hes 100% a mama’s boy but he does have a lot of respect for his mom and grandma growing up.

Gets SO offended when u apologized bc ur period stained the bed sheets. Like helloo!?! Im ur husband and an adult why would i be disgusted by normal bodily/biological functions???😡. If anything hes happy its normal if not hes helping u book an obgyn and get that checked.

Just a personal hc i think his mom always drilled the idea of never showing up to ppl’s houses/invitations empty-handed. So he. Always got u something when he visits u/go on a date. Like nicely arranged flowers, necklaces, ring, clothes, bags, ect.

Price would be the same way.

-💸

that's really, really cute!! and the price mention is sooo correct. i think he'd by influenced by father w his military and stuff, but his mother would completely raise him with right beliefs how to treat a woman etc.

he's maybe a little old fashion by it, but it's not bad; he mostly relies on acts of service, providing. he thinks your job is whatever you want to do, he'll take care of bad stuff. he's the one that needs to worry, not you.

in some versions, for example my single mom x price fic, he's a little manipulative about it too. especially if he knows that his love is struggling; he's gonna coo at you with "oh, sit down. let me take care of it" even if you two aren't together. you're confused, you arch your eyebrow and you want to say something, but he shushes you. so, thinking its nice for once to someone else take care of things, you just rest.

and you don't know that you've released a demon and let him into your house.

[haruniki]

Surpise kisses! - CSM characters (Makima, Kobeni, Power, Asa)

summary: giving your girlfriend some surprise kisses for whatever reason. Could be because they were being cute or maybe you just wanted to surprise the ones who normally aren't surprised by any of your antics!

a/n: haven't done one of these in a while, i miss doing these longer post. I just feel kinda burned out writing them lol gonna try to make more of these might use this same idea for a HSR version , also i hc Makima to be a little over 6 ft tall bc i love tall women and have a v serious problem called im short and tall women make me feel things

Makima

Makima is usually very aware of her surroundings. She's even more aware of you.

Maybe it's due to her being the control devil and her need to know she has control over things, but she doesn't tend to get surprised very easily. Catching someone like her off guard is tough, maybe even impossible.

But really late nights home from the office can leave her feeling fatigue, maybe even a bit vulnerable. But she's fine feeling vulnerable with it, makes her feel human.

Taking her coat off as a few of the dogs jump to get an ounce of attention from the woman, she doesn't notice that you had gotten so close to her.

Only noticing after she stands up from kneeling on the ground petting one of the smaller dogs, she meets your lips. It seems you had planned this out a bit, waiting until she stood up just often to meet you.

Her reaction wasn't quite as excepted, sure her eyes got a bit wider, but she didn't seem any more surprised than that.

Mostly flustered individuals on this list

She gives a smile before standing up all the way, she seems a little less tired than she looked when she first entered the apartment.

"That was a very pleasant surprise. I think more of those would be nice, you'd spare me a few more, right?"

Kobeni

She might actually pass out.

Kobeni enjoys kissing as much as any other flustered person, but surprise ones are definitely a one way ticket to be having a red face for the next couple of hours.

And surprise her with a good luck kisses on her way out to work was definitely not very helpful, now all she can think about it how soft your lips were. Now she has to deal with teasing from her coworkers.

Tries not to think about it, but she really wishes that she could get another one. Maybe you'll surprise her with one when she gets home or maybe she could surprise you with one of her own. Thinking about it just makes her face even redder.

"S..So not fair! I bet they're not even h.. half as red as i am! Just wait until I get home"

I don't think she even really notices? Power just thinks it's a regular kiss, maybe she jsut thinks all kisses are surprised kisses? Or maybe the surprise kisses were the friends we made along the way

Kobeni gets to shy to try to surprise you with a kiss so she just asks if she could get another kiss.

Power

In any case, Power loves getting kissed so she doesn't really mind. She's more likely to surprise you with kisses.

Her favorite way to surpise you with a kiss or two is to lay ontop of you until you wake up to which she'll start kissing anywhere and everywhere she can.

Sharing a juice box together didn't seem like too big of a deal. You had said you left your own drink at home and didn't want to buy one from the vending machine. It was sold out of your favorite drink, so as the kind girlfriend Asa was, she offered that you both share a drink.

A bit scary and a little bit painful as she has bitten you once or twice on accident. Possibly even scrapped you with her horns once or twice.

"HUH!? What do ya mean i can't wake you up like that anymore? You should be lucky that the almighty Power wakes you up like that... Biting you is just another form of a kisses, those bloodsucker bugs do it all the time!"

Asa Miktaka

Still sipping the juice box, Asa's faces turns a bit red. Asa takes the straw out of her mouth and puts her hand to her lips. She's a little embarrassed that she didn't think of it like that.

As you were both talking and taking sips from the juice box, you let out a small laugh as Asa took another. She shoots a questioning look to you and you share what you were giggling about.

"This kinda counts as our first kiss, y'know? Indirectly but still technically a kiss."

A bit more embarrassed that her first kiss wasn't even an actual kiss. She was even more flustered when you pulled her hand away and gave her the actual kiss she wanted.

"There, fixed it. I thought a real kiss would be better than having an indirect one.. Your face is a little too red, you okay Asa?"

[just-another-author-i-guess]

NEW!!!!! Masterlist Nov. 2024

A/N: I'm not really sure if this counts as a return lol, but I've grown a lot as a person and I think my writing-style and interest are v different now,,, so here's a new and updated (I'm not 14 anymore and I don't really like the same things I did when I started) masterlist (:

Important info (read pls before requesting): Since I'm over 18 y/o (I just turned 20, yay) I no longer accept any requests for minor characters or aged up versions of minors or anything like that. I'd feel really uncomfortable writing for them now, compared to when I started this blog lol. I also don't write mlm smut, not bc I want to be mean or less inclusive or anything, but bc I'm literally a bisexual woman and I feel like it's not really my place to write that kind of stuff (bro idk how to, I also fear I wouldn't portray it well at all bc obviously I haven't been in any situations like that),,, tho that does not mean I won't write mlm sfw!!! I'd be more than happy to (:

When I write I can only really do so with my own experiences in mind, so my nsfw stuff will mainly be fem!POV or gn, bc that's what I'm comfortable with... tho with that said, feel free to msg me or ask a question in the 'requests' if any of this seems confusing or unclear!

REQUEST HERE! <3

Judd Birch (big mouth) - judd birch x gn!reader - reader’s first time w/ judd - judd birch relationshp hc’s - judd birch x alt! reader - the one where Judd gives dating advice - four (4) reason’s judd has ‘keep out’ signs on his door (mr. birch is a menace) - just judd things (headcannons pt.2) - judd smut drabble - a heart to heart about Jessi’s sister’s boyfriend - going to school with Judd - judd smut in Y/n’s car - high judd headcannons

✰ ✰ ✰⛱⛈

- vincenzo ‘vinny’ santorini (atlantis)

vinny relationship headcannons

... more coming soon!

╰ ----------- ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

NEW ADDS! Spooky Diaz (on my block) a/n: I just finished watching it pls I'm so in love w Oscar.

(RE) Karl Heisenberg

Heisenberg x gn!reader hcs :D

Heisenberg x fem!reader, posted on ao3 but I need to edit a few things 'fore posting it here,,,

(RDR2, the gang, Flaco?) Flaco x pregnant!fem!reader... bc I'm down bad ): (coming soon, finished I just need to post it lol) Teaching reader poker x the guys: Arthur, John, Javier, Charles... (coming soon)

MORE COMING AT SOME POINT! But I have a looottt of requests to finish, I've been afk for like almost 3 years or something but I really appreciate the nice msgs I got (:

*here's a link to my ao3, since I've posted some les mis stuff and other things on there that I'm not sure you ppl on here would like... but lemme know if u want me to crosspost it on here <3 justanotherauthorig

[zai-doodles]

Hi, I really love your art and you are just so talented and I really really try to be patient but please pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty. Please tell me the Lore with Levy and her pen. I can’t wait any longer. I’m just so curious and so excitedto know how you wrote her magic the Lore you have for her but if you don’t want to that’s OK anyway I hope you have a nice day. Bye ❤️ 

lol sorry for ignoring this i fr couldn't figure out how I wanted to word this and it requires some context for my world building which idk if anyone cares abt but whatever I'm gonna pop off

summary of the magic system is that there r 3 types of magic, innate, holder and patron, they r all v self explanitory

script magic is innate, it is also the overall category for any magic that deals with the actually written symbols of magic (curse and rune magic r both branches of script magic basically)

And for context in my rewrite I have it so fairies r the ones who gift humans with magic to begin with and eventually people started being born with like pointy ears and higher affinity for magic and thats how the pixie race was made

its a pretty common form of magic

ok onto levy specific

my idea for levy is that shes half pixie half hybrid (basically this world's version of furry there's lore for it but that's all u need to know for now)

ANYWAY

All this to say that levy is a very skilled wizard with a love for books and reading and by the time canon starts she's basically the best script mage around, mainly bc she experiments with offensive script magic where as before the magic type was usually reliant on someone else with a more offensive type

This is because script mages need to actually write out the runes and symbols with some kind of Wand, which takes a sec to set up and even then its hard to hurt someone with a word if they have time to move, this also differentiates it from curse magic, which is entirely oral and is overall less refined (most of the time but ill talk abt that if I talk abt freed lol)

Like it's much easier to use a curse than to do script bc script is containing a spell within the lettering rather than like, attacking the person's magic core kinda???

Idk how to explain it but it makes sense in my brain

So buffs and support r the most common for script mages but levy is my Mary sue and I love her

So basically because she's mastered so many languages she's basically invented her own form of magic language for her spells, not unheard of in this world since it's also like a form of short hand that can usually tell u who wrote those runes

However this is usually only based on one or two languages since mixing different styles of like, characters? Can take more time and cause the spell to take even longer to cast

I'm explaining this terribly and making it seem so complicated

But its literally just levy teaches herself her own little language to writer her spells in that's basically magical cursive so it prioritizes speed above all else, that means it's sometimes kind of destructive and not as precise but she's working on it

Eventually tho, when they find tenrou island and have a huge lore dump abt Mavis (who is a fairy), levy is able to get her hands on fae language and magic runes and begins incorporating them into her spells and it's the final things she was looking for to make her spells more stable

The pen was something her and droy collab on basically, due to how unstable script magic can be she needed something able to handle the full brunt of her magic to essentially be her arcane focus

The pen is made from a tree droy grew himself, slowly feeding it magic, somehow dont ask me idk, so it could eventually handle levys power

The idea was from an offahnded comment levy made in an attempt to show droy the potential of his magic since in my lil hc he feels like the least useful member of the 3 (which is dumb and he isnt) and levy hit him and was like no u dumbass magic plants r dope and rattles off weird theories on how it could be used in different ways

hope this was at all comprehensive!

[daz4i]

please please please share dazai fear analysis 🤲

hehe well i'm not gonna get too in depth (mostly bc my brain isn't at 100% atm) but a short version bc i don't wanna leave you hanging,

i'm basing this on no longer human and yozo, like most of my dazai analysis hehe. in nlh he talks often about how painfully afraid he is of p much everything, because he doesn't understand people, and he doesn't want to get caught if he does anything wrong, too afraid to say no because he doesn't know how the other person will react, etc

i think. if you apply this reading to bsd dazai, a lot of his behavior makes sense, as well as adds depth to him and his more questionable actions

a p obvious example: the whole meursault arc, i think he is genuinely afraid to die, because he knows if he does then fyodor will come out on top and hurt his loved ones, destroy the whole world even. clearly, he is afraid of losing the people dear to him (but that's a very normal reaction lbr lol)

a general example: his constant acting like everything is fine to hide his real emotions - which, during his early mafia days, took form in looking blank and emotionless - can be a fear response of not knowing how other people will react to his true feelings, either due to past trauma where his emotions were dismissed or he got hurt for expressing them, or imo, more likely, due to a lack of understanding other people and not quite knowing what'll tick them off

(which might sound silly, bc he purposely ticks people off and looks to annoy people. but, this is a way to have control over the situation. that if the other person gets mad at him, he clearly knows why, he knows what he did to cause this, so this is like a precautionary measure to make sure he's not caught off guard. his fear isn't quite of their anger, or even getting hurt by their anger, but rather a lack of control or understanding of the situation)

a possibly controversial example: the way he acted with akutagawa during the dark era. i think, if you look at his actions as "basically a kid who is afraid to see this kid he found get hurt in combat, so he tries to make him stronger no matter what, and in the meantime is afraid to get attached in case the other kid does die so he tries to distance himself from him emotionally" it ofc doesn't excuse his actions, but imo, makes them. a bit more understandable, in a way. at least enough to somewhat empathize with him more

[this might be a slight side tangent but i have this hc i firmly believe in, that dazai caused ryuu's lung disease by injuring him somehow (given how he doesn't have it in the beast universe), and one of the reasons he's more gentle with atsushi is because he's afraid to hurt him too. not the main reason, but i do think it may add some depth here]

i do think he eased up after being in the ada for awhile - life became mostly predictable, nothing he couldn't handle - but. things changed, and now he's on edge again (turning you to story's lovely analysis that i keep referencing in a lot of my own dazai analysis bc it's so so good). fyodor coming back into his life certainly didn't help, either

now. since i can't not bring up his relationship with chuuya. i do think he has an easier time trusting chuuya because he knows he can handle himself. he doesn't feel the need to control him - always leaving him a choice in their plans - because he's not afraid of what could happen to him, he knows chuuya will be fine. also, their relationship started in such an awful way he doesn't need to hide his emotions around him :P this is why i think he has an easier time being with chuuya really, he's a momentary break from being in constant fear. this might also be why he's so obnoxious when chuuya's around lmao (idk how much of this is actual analysis rather than "if you read them this way it adds a nice depth" so feel free to take this part with a grain of salt, i will always be the first to admit i'm not the best at reading skk hehe)

and while i didn't finish sb yet he does seem to be. really afraid in a lot of the scenes he's in, from what i read so far askjdfg bc now chuuya is in real danger! in a way he can't predict! this hasn't happened yet! (but i could ofc bc very wrong abt that lol)

(also i gotta say. i think this is what odasaku was for him too - ofc in addition to other things - bc he knows odasaku wouldn't hurt him or react in a bad way even if he did anything outrageous. and that's in part what made his rejection in beast so devastating for him, bc it shakes up one of the only safe things in his life)

i'd say, dazai's fear isn't paralyzing, at least not for more than a second a time. it makes him active, makes him overthink, over-analyze, over-prepare. and at the same time, he does it mostly from behind the scenes, through nudging and subtle encouragements, because he may possibly fear that if he went at it with full force, the people he already got attached to will reject him (bc at his core, i think he doesn't want to be alone, but that's a topic for another time). but more importantly - that he will become like fyodor, or like mori, who see people as disposable if it helps them further their goals

^now this is more of his current self, at least. i'd argue mafia!dazai's fears were different, more of a direct fear from people and how they might hurt him, so it's best for him to go along with what they say. and, a fear of a lack of meaning. he does constantly look for a reason to live, and that may come from a fear that his existence is truly meaningless (and while for most people this fear may express itself as fearing death as well, in dazai's case it's his suicidal tendencies. kind of like proving his fear is real, the way a kid might look at the monster they think is scary to convince themselves it can't hurt them. he will die and prove his existence WAS meaningless, but that idea can't actually hurt him at the end of the day if he chooses it. idk if this analogy makes sense to anyone but me tho lmao sorry)

i. don't know how clear this is. i may have lost the plot there at some point. again let me clarify this is obviously not a "this is how dazai is and any other reading is wrong" but more like "if you apply this reading it changes the context of his characters and explains his behavior and how i personally see him". also a lot of projection 👍 ajsdfghj feel free to see it as just a thought experiment if it doesn't quite fit your perception of him :)!