#having been oppressed into presenting masculinely
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â[x female saint] had to dress like a man to be taken seriously/be safe/do her job! Isnât that terrible? đâ well but have you considered that maybe she Wanted to dress like that?
#my post#thinking about st thecla and st Joan of arc#thinking of âin Christ there is neither male nor femaleâ#thinking of this golden calf weâve made of the gender binary#thinking about how so many stories written about female saints try to push them as âmodels of femininityâ#thinking about how it feels disingenuous to treat every saint that doesnât fit that worldview as#having been oppressed into presenting masculinely#thinking about how that feels like a prison. for them and for us.
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Transandrophobia truthers are so damn racist and white oh my fucking god y'all actually piss me the fuck off every time you tokenize Black and brown men for your stupid as fuck "mra but make it trans-inclusive" ideology created by a creepy guy with a corrective rape fetish(something I'll never let up on for as long as I live, btw). If I ever see another one of y'all say "Black and brown men face discrimination because they're seen as overly masculine and that's why masculinity in men is oppressed in this society" I will literally kill myself. Stop using Black and brown men as brownie points for your bullshit arguments about misandry being real when you don't have the slightest idea how racialized oppression works. White boys are so annoying and dumb istfg.
@punkeropercyjackson @punknicodiangelo @pinkpinkstarlet
#like none of the dumbasses i've seen say this shit have been poc and HEY IT'S ALMOST LIKE THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT#because actual black and brown men know that their oppression is not based around masculinity but around RACISM#because if it was about masculinity then feminine men of color wouldn't face the same oppression and would be privileged over them which#is not true#it's also worth mentioning that black and brown WOMEN also face these same issues of being seen as more aggressive/strong/violent and thus#more dangerous even more so than our male counterparts so it's not an 'anti-masculinity' issue it's a fucking racism issue#plus once again feminine women of color also face these stereotypes#when we are masculinized even while presenting as feminine that isn't anti-masculinity you dumb fucks that's just racialized misogyny#and misogynoir#it is incredibly telling that white transmascs who use this argument never even mention women of color and that's because if they did then#their entire headass argument would fall apart because it's not about MASCULINITY being oppressed it's about RACISM(which newsflash women#experience too) and masculinity being assumed of black and brown people(women included) is just another facet of the white supremacist#gender binary not any form of masculinity being 'oppressed' in this society lol#don't even get me started on how these men misuse butch lesbians in their arguments as well and act like they are man-lite ugh#sorry but as a black woman i am officially pissed off rbn#like y'all love to spout 'intersectionality' and shit maybe *throws book at them* ACTUALLY READ UP AND LEARN WHAT THE FUCK IT MEANS#stop misusing words created by black women to prove that men are an oppressed group on god you mfers are annoying#anyway the lesson learned here is that white trans men are just as insipid and racist as their cis counterparts#pos the lot of you#racism#transandrophobia is not real#op
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if you are a trans man or masc, masculine nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid or other gender non conforming identity, masc gay, a bear, a butch, stud, or boi, or other masculine queer person and don't feel welcome in any queer spaces, you're not alone.
the communities both irl and online have become EXTREMELY hostile toward mascs and men to the point of straight up excluding us and changing their wording to justify their violent exclusion. from renaming nonbinary spaces to "femme & them" and "she+" spaces, to telling men & mascs that they would "Scare" the women and "nonbinary" folks just by being there, as if masculinity and manhood are inherently traumatizing to be around.
masculine and male nonbinary folks have it so hard- most nonbinary spaces are almost definitely women's spaces who also conflate womanhood with nonbinaryhood, and often times just view nonbinary people as confused women. we are not inherently traumatizing to be around: masc enbies need places to go. we are still nonbinary and still trans and still queer for fucks' sake
nonbinary has never and will never mean femme or woman-adjacent inherently. nonbinary means what it means: people who don't or refuse to adhere to the gender binary, regardless of what side it is. masculinity is included in this, femininity is not the only way to be nonbinary.
masc queers do not have to bend over backwards to try to be more feminine and thus "less threatening" in order to have places to go. that's dysphoric and just inaccurate to a lot of queer folks' identity and presentation. it blows my mind because it makes no sense, anyway, even within the gay community, hypermasculinity has been present and even sought after by some people who find it very attractive, twunks, hunks, bears... but between the periods in queer history people started viewing masc gay leathermen and kinksters as the ones who were responsible for spreading AIDS and thus removing them from pride parades,
AND the lesbian separatism moment picking up to remove butches & male & masc lesbians from lesbian spaces identity, paving the way for modern rdical femniism, we've only entered a downhill landslide of hating men and mascs and ultimately trying to erase us from the queer community entirely.
the queer community is not the "women & femmes community". the queer experience is broad and vast, it includes a wide variety of masculine and male experiences, as well as genderfluid, multigender, completely ungendered and other gendered experiences. the lesbian, trans, bisexual, nonbinary, gay and general queer communities aren't the "safe place to hide from men & mascs community" like estranged rdfems and terfpilled trans folk like to tell you they are.
this is the QUEER community and it includes ALL forms of queerness, masc, femme, butch, male, neutral, bigender, neutral, and all. he/shes and he/hims and he/theys and he/its and so on are just as much of a part of this communities as she/hers and they/thems. you can't cast a blanket of "inherently abusive" over all men and mascs and one of "inherently abused/incapable of being abusive" over all women and femmes because that just traps you in a fantasy land that doesn't exist AND it prevents mascs and men from getting the help, resources and community they NEED.
men & mascs are hurt and abused by women & femmes every day and we refuse to speak about them because we live under a white cisheteronormal patriarchy and have complaints about how that functions. the complaints are legitimate but assuming that all men and mascs are oppressing all women and femmes and that women can never be oppressive is a false as hell narrative that actively damages people.
enough is enough. this mindset is hurting people. it's leaving masc and male queers to be estranged, harmed and even dead. i care about you if you're being affected by this mentality and these behaviors. you deserve community, safety, and a sense of belonging, you do belong, even if we struggle to form our own spaces due to unjust hatred. we will do our best to band together and keep each other safe. we must
#transmasc#trans#transmasculine#ftm#trans man#nonbinary#transgender#enby#lgbtqia#lgbtq#lgbt#queer#non binary#genderqueer#genderfluid#bigender#multigender#he/she#she/he#he/him#butch#butch lesbian#lesbian#gay#bisexual#queer community#ftm bear#ftm gay#transmasculine lesbian#transmasc lesbian
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'interview with a butch' - a fake interview reflecting on butch-femme dynamics! inspired by the amazing piece by @llovely, which you can read here :)
(ID below read more)
[an original, interview-style poem called 'interview with a butch':
when did you know you were butch? I knew by the time I was sixteen, but thatâs only when I found the word. Iâve been butch since the day I was born, at least since I was just a few months old and threw an earth-shattering tantrum whenever my mum tried to put me in a dress. (both laugh) your poor mum!
I remember being a little butch knight, chivalrous even before I was double digits. my best friend only lived up the road from school, but her parents were running late and she was scared to do it herself. so I walked her up the hill, her arm linked in mine, pride balancing on my chest. and when I got her to her door, I said that we should kiss like adults do when they say goodbye, and we took it in turns to kiss each other on each cheek. when I walked home I felt something the size of a boulder in my stomach, but I didnât know what it meant yet, just that there was something about myself that set me apart.
how did you feel with your first femme? oh, man, even for a writer thatâs hard to find the words for. (laugh) letâs put it this way: before I had my first femme, I always felt like something was missing in my relationships â not just in the relationship itself, but in me. I felt broken and wrong, unsatisfied and selfish. I thought that maybe I just had too high expectations or something. hell, even with sex I felt like something was missing, like I couldnât find my own desire.
But then, then I had my first femme. How graphic can I be here? (laugh) as graphic as you want! okay, good!
watching my stomach hang over my harness, long nails in my hips, I felt like I had a second sexual awakening. I felt the most present in my body Iâd ever been, and like I could be in them forever. I didnât feel dissatisfied, or wrong. when their hand held mine and played with my fingers I felt lightning shoot through me. it was like realising I was a lesbian all over again. but even outside of romance, femmes are my friends, my family, my community. talking to femmes, being around femmes, Iâve never felt so seen and loved. I can handle every sharp look, every slur thrown my way, just because my armour was polished by femmes.
do you find your roles restrictive? theyâre liberating. I think sometimes people see me and think that I had to fit into this constrictive box, that I disallowed myself to enjoy anything feminine. the reality is that for butches, we find the word weâve been searching for our whole lives. I canât even remember finding the word, isnât that crazy? it felt second nature. it somehow perfectly described everything Iâd ever felt, exposed me to a community of people who were just like me outside of my Tory town! (pause)
I think thereâs a tendency even in leftist, LGBT spaces to think that masculinity is oppressive, and femininity is liberating and oppressed. but itâs really not like that. weâre punished for deviating from our assigned gender, whether youâre a masculine woman, or a feminine man, or something in between the two. Iâve had gay men try to convince me to let them do my makeup, Iâve had gay women tell me that theyâre âso gladâ I donât have âtoxic masculinityâ like âother butchesâ. femininity was a cage for me, something I had to imitate to survive the perils of high school, but it was never me. masculinity liberated me, and itâs not inherently toxic. I love to carry the bags, hold open the doors, cry in pride, protect those I love. and thereâs nothing like coming home at the end of the day to a sweet femme, ready to rub my tired muscles. man, Iâm not good at concise answers, am I? (both laugh) no, but I love it!
what do you think of people who see your relationship as heteronormative? theyâre twats! (both laugh) now, thatâs a concise answer! no, no thatâs not fair. hereâs what Iâd say to them:
I see it asâŚa complex gender performance. no, that makes it sound like itâs play pretend. theyâre complex genderâŚexpressions, dynamics, play, desire, euphoria. a butch and a femme together is no more heterosexual than a bear and a twink, a top and a bottom. itâs a dance that we know in our bones, like we knew each other in a previous lifetime and weâre just falling back into our favoured rhythm. even every fumble and awkward gesture is a part of it. we fall into sync and into each other, we tenderise each otherâs gender, affirm it, and love every minute of it. weâre not two sides of the same coin, you talk to any butch-femme couple and chances are our priori (edit: interviewee meant propositions) are the same but our conclusions are not; weâre the same side of the same coin, just one is the top of the tail and the other is the bottom of it. is that a euphemism? (laugh) take it as you will!
Iâm no man, my femme is no woman, and Iâm no less butch when Iâm wearing a kiss-the-cook apron and cleaning their kitchen, and theyâre no less femme when theyâre putting together a shelf or driving me to work. To look at us and see a heteronormative imitation of cisgender predetermination is proof of their own lack of nuance â do you think all dogs are boys and all cats are girls, too? (both laugh)
I think in a lot of ways, butch-femme dynamics are inherently transsexual. or, in the very least, good friends of transgenderism. If you canât see us for what we are then chances are youâve got your own internalised gender biases to unlearn.
Iâve always been butch to my bones, but when Iâm with my baby Iâm on cloud nine. I feel desired, my gender revered and loved.
so, what youâre saying is, you feel seen? I do. we see each other and nurture each other. Iâve never really liked being called âbeautifulâ, but when it falls from the lips of a femme, I know that theyâre not seeing me as feminine. I feel most comfortable to explore the depths of both my femininity and masculinity with them; I donât feel restricted to a role.
maybe thatâs what people are missing about it: our homes are temples of gender exploration and devotion.
end ID].
#original poetry#my writing#writeblr#image described#poetry#poetblr#butch#butch4femme#writing#lesbian
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When discussing things like privilege and oppression, people seem to have one of two ideas about transmasculinity depending on what suits them best at the moment. They either picture a passing masculine trans man or a femme-presenting non-binary person. Both of these prototypes are skinny and White and relatively palatable to the general public. They find it easy to paint both as basically having cis privilege anyway, just wanting to play up their oppression to make people feel bad for them or excuse their (trans)misogyny. Theyâll call the former a misogynistic dangerous Aiden and the latter a basically cis theyfab. Thereâs no room at all for people like me, people on T but still perceived as a butch lesbian. Closeted transmascs. Intersex transmascs. Multigender transmascs. Gnc transmascs whoâll wear a beard and a dress, but are allegedly exempt from experiencing transmisogyny. And yet even those two prototypes still get discriminated against, assaulted, and killed in cold blood. But that must have been despite their male/cis privilege.
Itâs funny that those narratives are so dominant. Have you considered youâre seeing transmascs as privileged because youâre only hearing from the most privileged transmascs? That the handful of skinny White transmasc youtubers and musicians and celebrities you can name only got that far because they fit the picture? But invisibility is a privilege, so I guess the rest of us should shut up and be grateful.
#you people treat transmascs like absolute dog shit and weâre just a supposed to man up and take it since weâre So Privileged Anyway#and consider that treating White as the default when considering privilege is not as fucking progressive as you think#some of us have our gender interact with our racialization. believe it or not.#transandrophobia#transphobia#misogyny#<theyâll be so misogynistic to afab nonbinary folks while probably also telling them they donât experience misogyny since theyâre not women#mine#intracommunity issues tag#long post#so much sarcasm in this to be clear
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Intro to Anti-transmasculinity (ATM)
(also ft. an about me section)
Defining ATM:
Anti-transmasculinity refers to the systematic oppression of transmasculinity. âTransmasculinityâ refers to the concept of people seen as female having a masculine or manly gender or gender expression*. Other terms used for this are transandrophobia, transmisandry, and transmascphobia.
In 1963, feminist Betty Freidan described misogyny as âthe problem with no name,â illustrating how at the time, womenâs language to understand, describe and communicate their oppression was underdeveloped. Anti-transmasculinity has been, similarly, a problem with no name; transmasculine people have not had the language or framework to understand, describe, and communicate our oppression. Transmasculinity suffers from erasure, often called âinvisibilityâ. This does not protect transmasculine people from violence; it silences us to prevent us from speaking out against, or realizing, the violence done to us. It alienates us from our history, our brothers, siblings and sisters, and ourselves, by preventing transmasculinity from being seen, heard, discussed, or considered. For more posts of mine and others that help expand on the theory of anti-transmasculinity, see my #theory tag.
*This is not my definition of transmasculinity as an identity. This definition is for the form of transness targeted by transphobia, which is based around the idea of "female/woman trying to be male/a men." My definition of transmasculinity as an identity is any form of masculinity or manhood that is trans* in nature, regardless of presentation or assigned sex. I make this distinction because a GNC man assigned male could see his manhood as trans, but be targeted by transphobia based around the idea of a man trying to be a woman.
Who can be affected by ATM?:
Anyone can suffer from anti-transmasculinity, regardless of gender, sex or sexuality. Anti-transmasculine violence targets perceived transmasculinity, which means anyone perceived as transmasculine can be victimized. That is not the extent of how people are affected, though; people who perceive themselves to be transmasculine, consciously or unconsciously, or who have traits associated with transmasculinity can also be affected by witnessing anti-transmasculinity.
(TW: transphobic murder)
People who are associated with transmasculinity (such as partners, friends, and family of transmasculine people) can also be affected, not just through emotional pain but targeted for physical violence. As an example, Italian cis woman Maria Paola Gaglione was murdered by her brother to "teach her a lesson" after she got engaged to a trans man.
Who can be anti-transmasculine?:
Anyone can be anti-transmasculine, regardless of gender, sex, or sexuality. It is a systemic way of thinking that is spread throughout society and culture, and reproduces itself constantly in people's thoughts and actions.
Who benefits from anti-transmasculinity?:
In the grand scheme of things, everyone suffers from the restrictive nature of transphobia. However, in general, only cisgender, gender-conforming people systematically benefit from anti-transmasculinity. Other trans* people do not; trans* people do not systematically benefit from each otherâs oppression.
* *trans is a way of writing âtransâ that emphasizes it as a broad umbrella term inclusive of everyone who trangresses gender and sex norms
Is ATM caused by âmisandryâ?
In transunity theory, âmisandryâ is used to refer to the way that gender roles around manhood/masculinity are weaponized to harm marginalized people, (in this case) specifically trans* people; trans* people are viewed as having the worst traits of both masculinity and femininity, as well as the inherent negativity associated with androgyny. In this sense, anti-transmasculinity does involve misandry, as do anti-transfeminity* and exorsexism**. However, all of these also involve misogyny and misandrogyny***. Which one of these is more dominant varies between types of transphobia, as well as the individuals doing the violence and the ones experiencing it.
To quote this article, "Misandry [...] can never reliably be prevented from collapsing into transphobia."
*i use anti-transfemininity (ATF) as a companion to anti-transmasculinity, as an alternative to âtransmisogyny.â This is because, as I explain, my philosophy on transphobia is that all transphobias are inherently misogynistic and all trans* people experience the intersection of misogyny. Additionally, transunity theory frames transphobia as being the intersection of many forms of gendered bigotry, so using the âanti-â terms lets me talk about these transphobias without having to specify it by only one kind (like -misogyny or -androphobia)
** exorsexism refers to oppression of people who violate the gender or sex binaries; it includes intersexism, but also oppression against non-binary people.
*** misandrogyny is the hatred of/bigotry against androgyny, a companion to misogyny and misandry. âandrogynyâ here refers to anything outside the exclusive male/female binary; examples of misandrogyny are violence done when someone cannot tell someoneâs gender/sex, and the idea of nonbinary and genderqueer language as immature, annoying, and pointless, while binary language is considered mature, normal, and useful.
Evidence of ATM:
I have the tags #examples of transandrophobia and #experiences with transandrophobia; the first is posts showing transandrophobia in action, and the second is people describing the transandrophobia they have experienced or witnessed.
I also keep the Archive of Violence Against Trans*masculine People, which keeps a record of events of anti-transmasculine violence. This includes murder, rape, abuse, physical assault, harassment, and the suicides of transmasculine people. Also on this archive is a list of academic research & writing related to anti-transmasculinity; the studies provide more objective evidence of the systemic oppression transmasculine people face, and analyses which can help with understanding how anti-transmasculinity works.
You can also look at @transandrophobia-archive which collects examples of anti-transmasculine Tumblr posts.
Info on Me:
Iâm genderqueer, transsexual, and a transvestite; I am a man and a woman and neither (all of which affect each other), and identify with both transmasc, transfem, and transother. Iâm also aromantic + greysexual. My sexuality is everything everywhere all at once.
Originally this blog was just made for me to process and deal with my own internalized anti-transmasculinity, but then people liked what I wrote and now its a place where I talk about queer issues & related things I find important.
Iâm multiply disabled (both physically and mentally) and I struggle with answering asks; if I donât answer you for a while feel free to just send your ask again, I will not mind. Also feel free to ask me to explain anything in plain language if you have difficulty understanding something. I donât mind educating people or helping people find resources, as long as you are respectful and are in good faith and all that.
I am going into philosophy and sociology with a focus on religion, and run @transtheology where I collect posts on trans-affirming spirituality and religion. If you have any questions or want advice related to transness and spirituality/religion (or madness & spirituality/religion) Iâd love to help you the best I can.
If you would like to support me, hereâs my kofi
Further Resources:
""Transandrophobia" Primer" by nothorses
"As a transfem, what's your insight on the way transmascs are treated when talking about their experiences?" by cipheramnesia
"This is just your regular free-of-charge reminder that when people argue that transandrophobia does not exist, or that its not important enough to talk about, they are explicitly saying they don't care about sexual assault victims or victims of suicide (among other things)" by nothorses
"Transandrophobia Posts Masterpost- 2022" by transgentlemanluke
Pinned post with links to discussions about transandrophobia, baeddelism, and other issues by nothorses
"What is transandophobia actually?" by transmasc-pirate, with additions by doberbutts and psychoticallytrans
"Transandrophobic Fundamentals and the Intersections of Trans Masc Marginalization" by none-gender-left-man
"Hello, I apologise if you've already received questions like this, but can you explain why you would say that transmisandry/androphobia is distinct from misogyny?" by transfaguette
"I Am A Transwoman. I Am In The Closet. I Am Not Coming Out." by Jennifer Coates
This conversation between doberbutts and folly-of-alexandria
Transandrophobia Explained carrd, by myself
Transmisogyny is not the intersection of transphobia and misogyny by luckyladylily
This post on misogyny, misandry, and transandrophobia by thorne1345
"tumblr can make fun of Blizzardâs Oppression Calculator all they want, thatâs exactly how people act with discourse poisoned queer discussions" by cardentist
Invisible Men: FTMs and Homelessness in Toronto by the FTM Safer Shelter Project Research Team
On Hating Men (And Becoming One) by Noah Zazanis
There is a hidden epidemic of violence against transmasculine people by Orion Rodriguez
âIrl we just kissâ: âtransmasc vs transfemâ discourse & reactionary âboys vs girlsâ politics in trans spaces by S.L Void
Making Sense Out of the Murders of Trans Men by Mitch Kellaway
Collateral Damage: mathematical odds & the sum of survival. by S.L Void
Op-ed: Trans Men Experience Far More Violence Than Most People Assume by Loree Cook-Daniels
How the Criminalization of Testosterone Attacks Gender Variant People by Adryan Corcione
A Tale of a Trans Man in Pakistan by Ikra Javed
Not transmasc invisibility, but erasure: intricacies of transmasc invisibility, and the fallacies of strictly gendered transphobia by S.L Void
Girlboy Boygirl Blues: antitransmasculinity as a denial of individual history & more by S.L Void
The r/transandrophobia subreddit
#m.#finally a new pinned post#transandrophobia#transmisandry#anti transmasculinity#transunity#experiences with transandrophobia#examples of transandrophobia#theory#transmasc history#transmasc art#transmasc media
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"I still want to make things, but perhaps I should just keep them to myself for the time being. For anyone that cares, Iâll still be continuing Heart of Elynthi and the JOmega charity, but once those are finished I will be taking an indefinite break from posting anything online. Itâs a decision Iâve considered ever since the first hate wave from about a year or so ago but wanted to sit on it and see if the feeling would persist. I know now this is the best choice for me."
If I catch anybody celebrating this, I am going to eat your kneecaps. This guy is a sweetheart, I have friends who needed the sort of kind, GNC representation of masculinity he presented earnestly, he was humble and respectful and tried to use his platform for good, and you fucking miserable little shitheads, you pearl-clutching jackasses, decided to take one video out of context and make a crusade out of it. Why don't y'all pick a fight that matters? You think Cop City is gonna crumble because you chased someone offline who was supportive of trans folks and was glad to have been liberated from cishet society? Do you think the world is a better place now? If I find anyone celebrating this, I will be eating the forbidden plantain chips that are their fucking kneecaps. I may even let them have a bite. Yes I am fucking angry about this. Is it that important compared to everything else in the world right now? No, but you made one guy's life hell for no good reason, and that's horrible. Die in a fire. And to be clear, I am not angry about this on his behalf. He did not ask me to be angry. He does not most likely want anybody to face consequences for being a shit-eating little cop who feels good about themselves for crusading against a guy who is using his platform to help trans folks because we helped him too. This is for me. This is because I want a world liberated from oppression, not one where folks recreate it in miniature hoping this time they'll be the Big Man and everyone else will be oppressed, so they pick fights they know they can win just to abuse and belittle someone to feel good about themselves.
He was sweet. He still is. And I hope he lives a better life far away from this.
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hey there! i donât mean this in bad faith at all, and iâm not trying to use a term thatâs a fascist dogwhistle. i promise iâm just confusedđ
so iâm not a guy, nor have i ever been perceived as one, but in one of your recent posts, you said that men canât experience oppression solely based on the fact that theyâre men. which was kind of confusing to me â i donât think youâre wrong, i think itâs me but i donât know how to get to how you see it like that.
because in my experience, men can experience oppression because theyâre men, although i donât know if iâm saying that right or conflating the meanings of certain terms. iâm probably wrong, and would just love some clarification?
for example, my brother and i were always held to different standards growing up â it was expected of me to always cry and be emotional, and i was a âstone cold bitchâ if that wasnât the case, but if my brother wanted to show negative emotions like sadness he was treated like there was something wrong with him too. and i know it wasnât my brother â i spend a lot of time working with my high schoolâs diversity team, and in a lot of the events we organise, guys talk about how they feel enormous pressure to be angry and never sad, and to have stereotypically masculine interests and never deviate from that norm.
i also know men whoâve struggled to get jobs such as teaching as those are viewed as âfemaleâ jobs and itâs a common view that men who want those jobs are âonly in it to be around kidsâ. iâve heard many women around me perpetuate sentiments like that, so i know theyâre not making it up, even if it isnât equal to the systematic oppression women face in almost every aspect of their careers.
iâm not providing these examples to prove you wrong, since i do think youâre right. iâm hoping that a window into the way iâve always thought might help you clarify this in a way that can help me to change my mind, since i just think iâm lacking some clarity or context here. i think iâm conflating abuse and stereotypes with oppression, but iâm really not sure. any advice would be really appreciated!
iâm so sorry if this comes off badly, i donât mean it that way. iâm just trying to learn, i promise iâm not trying to promote the kind of hate and close mindedness youâve been seeing in your inbox as of late.
Hi! As always, I do not mind answering genuine questions!
The things you're talking about growing up and seeing boys around you pressured to present only certain emotions, that's part of the patriarchy!
Certain emotions are supposed to be "feminine" and thus boys shouldn't show them, while girls are often always considered "emotional" in some fashion. That's not oppression based on those boys being men that you're talking about.
It's the backlash that the patriarchy, and by addition trans/misogyny has on men. It's boys being pressured not to show certain emotions because those emotions are "feminine" and they're supposed to associate feminimity with weakness and shit.
What you're talking about there is also trans/misogyny!
The idea that men who do things perceived as feminine are predators, the idea that specific jobs are "female" jobs [while even in those specific female jobs, men are generally paid better and find it easier to get into those jobs than women trying to get into traditionally "male" jobs"]
[Though obviously this varies based on race and whether they're trans, etc, etc.]
To be a little more clear, all of the things you're talking about don't primarily affect cis men/boys. They fuck up transfems, because it's trans/misogyny.
You're right! It's not systemic oppression.
You might wonder if it's social oppression, which is also a no. Social oppression would require a historical/systemic oppression behind it. But that doesn't exist in this case.
What it is is the common issue oppressors run into. While they benefit greatly from oppression, there is also backlash they face from their own systems of oppression.
Like white people who fall into suicide cults trying to work towards white supremacy, or TERFs who fall into groups where they slowly pick each other off as they discover they're not all exactly the same and wind up accusing each other of not being "real" women, systems of bigotry simply do not work out perfectly even for the oppressors.
They never do.
To create the patriarchy, you must establish trans/misogyny, you must establish intersexism and you must push people to conform to those ideals, even if they hurt your own.
It's similar to how white supremacy can harm white people, despite white people obviously not being oppressed racially. The backlash of oppression hits even the oppressors sometimes.
Suppression, as a term, would honestly work far better to describe what you're talking about.
So yes, it's stereotyping, yes it's abusive to tell your children not to show/feel their emotions but it's not oppression based on these guys in your life being men! It's part of how trans/misogyny, transphobia and intersexism are enforced.
I understand exactly where you're coming from! It doesn't sound bad and I genuinely don't mind answering questions! Especially since you've got some good ones!
I'm not sure if I rambled too much to explain this properly but I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions and/or need me to clarify anything here. <33
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Could you elaborate on how gender ideology is misogynistic?
Sure. So gender ideology (see previous ask for how I define it) is misogynistic because it denies the present and historical reality of the sex-based oppression of women, reinforces the gender binary through its obsession with gender and gender roles, and jeopardizes womenâs safety by privileging AGP men. Here are some examples:
It erases gender non conformity as a normal expression of the self. We see this through the âtransingâ of gender non conforming children and adults, particularly feminine gay men and masculine lesbian women. TRAs love to scream that we (GCs and TERFs) are obsessed with gender roles and uncomfortable with gender non conformity when they are the ones that promote the idea that men who present feminine and women who present masculine actually need to transition. I know so many detrans butch women who were told as teens and young women that they needed testosterone and surgery to fix them. What is more regressive than telling GNC people they actually need to become the opposite gender?
It denies the reality of sex and sex-based oppression. There are two camps for gender ideologists: gender identity is more important to oneâs lived experience than their biological sex and gender is real but biological sex is not. Both of these ideas are misogynistic and false. Womenâs subjugation for millennia across the world is not due to their âgender identity.â To say that femaleness isnât real or that it is something an individual chooses to be is to say that women opt/opted into their oppression, or worse, that sex-based oppression never existed at all. How does the taliban chose which children can go to school? Do you think they go up to every child and ask them their gender identity? Of course not. It is unbelievable how TRAs have brainwashed so many people into denying the existence oldest and most universal form of oppression. This falsehood is so prevalent in academic spaces it has created a revisionist history and permeated science and medical research. Periods, pregnancy, and womenâs health issues are now considered TERFy and we have to do this linguistic dance with dehumanizing terminology to discuss our own bodies. Ideology is more important than reality and medical authorities are parroting lies (TIMs can safely breastfeed, puberty is reversible, testerone does not have dangerous side effects) with no scientific basis without repercussion.
It privileges trans identified men over women. Gender ideology is not more scientifically or psychologically sound than gender critical ideology. Gender ideology has been arbitrarily accepted as The Truth by the left. TRAs will say that it is the compassionate or moral opinion and thus correct but this privileges the interests of trans identifying men over the interests of women. After all, morality is subjective. Take sports for example, women want a fair chance to participate in athletics and trans identifying males want to be validated by playing in female sports. The two interests conflict but the left has decided that the wants of the male athletes are more important than the wants of the female athletes, and this is treated as the obvious morally correct stance. But is it so obvious? I donât think so. Nobody can answer why trans identifying males (because letâs be real trans identifying females never get special privileges) are prioritized over everyone else.
Feel free to send another ask if you have more questions.
#rad fem#rad fem safe#radical feminism#radical feminst#radical feminist safe#terfsafe#radblr#terfblr#radical feminists please interact#radical feminists do touch
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PAC : which type of seducer are you
â˘1~9â˘
This is based on " The art of seduction" by Robert Greene
With your intuition choose a picture of Adriana Lima , you can choose multiple as well . This is based solely on my intuition however you must observe yourself more for greater accuracy . This is for entertainment purposes.
Pile 1 :
The star
The Star is almost (or completely is) of celebrity status. They, like the Natural, poses the powers of the uncanny -- specifically mixing reality and myth. The star is a dream come true. Physically present, but almost legendary and mythic in essence. They are almost too dream-like to picture in front of us. We imagine them too far out of our league, and that is what makes them so attractive.
Pile 2 :
The Dandy
The Dandy is the Siren or the Rake of the same sex. They attract the traditionally-male with psychologically masculine traits, and they attract the traditionally-female with psychologically feminine traits. They tear down the labels that society has put on sexuality and they play in all spaces. We're attracted to Dandies for their ambiguous and obscure personas, and their freedom to break prejudice sexual behavioural roles.
Pile 3 :
The Rake
The Rake is characterized as the masculine Siren. Playing on society's roles that a female character must abide by, the Rake brings out the oppressed behaviours of a traditionally-femine figure. They bring out the excited feminine in us. Again, male, female, or neutral, we're attracted to Rakes when we've been too confined and comfortable - too restrained - too neutral and unenergized in our day-to-day lives.
Pile 4 :
The natural
The Natural is a reflection of those golden years of comfort and innocent affection - childhood. They portray what both Kubrick and Freud would describe as 'uncanny'. Familiar yet strange. The Natural brings into their persona a sense of youthfulness in an adult body, drawing those that long for the times of no responsibilities, harmlessness, and naive spontaneity.
Pile 5:
The coquette
The Coquette is hot and cold. They touch and go. They attract you with hopeful words or sensual maneuvers and then step back and distance themselves from you. They entice you and frustrate you at the same time, and we're attracted to this because of our human nature to want what we can't have.
Pile 6:
The siren
The Siren is of highly charged traditionally-feminine energy and tends to attract those of a completely opposite, traditionally-masculine energy. Whether or not you identify as male, female or neither, you'll tend to be attracted to a Siren when you show characters on the extremes of traditionally-male behaviour.
Pile 7 :
The charismatic
The Charismatic is the excitement in the room. They exude confidence and energy in all the right places. They are mesmerizing and we're attracted to them because of their sincere obsessions and opinions and actions. They glow a sense of charisma with their animated gestures and fiery persuasive voice. And if they fit our values, they're just a good time to be around.
Pile 8 :
The ideal lover
The Ideal Lover comes to us from our childhood dreams, or rather our lost dreams. They are the ones that bring a hopeless fantasy to life with their ability to mirror the ideals we once had as innocent happy-go-lucky children, but have lost to grey world. They are highly astute at understanding our deepest desires and definitions of affection and bring them to fruition.
Pile 9 :
The charmer
The Charmer has almost a devilish smile you're willing to swoon over. The word "charm" comes from the Latin "carmen" -- a song or a chant that is synonymous with a magic spell. To charm is to literally cast a spell on another. The way that they do this, and the reasons we fall for them, is because they understand 3 fundamental laws of human nature: The law of narcissism, the law of defensiveness, and the law of grandiosity. It's our egos that they stroke, our vanity emotional walls that they align with, and our self-esteem that they praise.
Definitions from the website:
https://aarondanielfilms.com/blog/the-9-archetypal-lovers-you-are-attracted-to
Thank you, hope you resonate đ
Have a great day/night ahead đ
#pac reading#pick a card tarot#pick a photo#pick a card reading#pick a picture#pick a card#pick a pile
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So I saw this screencap earlier
And I thought it was a great chance to talk about something.
A lot of progressive folks are familiar with the fact that right wing circles use feminine as a derogatory term and that there's a real cost to that for women.
What people are less familiar with is how it hurts men - queer and straight, cis and trans.
And I'm not shocked given how common it is in left leaning spaces to be reactionary (read: dismissive or outright harass) when men try to talk about these what these issues look like for them.
When men talk about how they've experienced toxic masculinity and anti-feminine bias, in addition to the usual right wing responses, I'm starting to see a bunch of supposed feminists and trans/queer allies harass them as well - saying they're hurting women/feminine presenting folks by "centering men", dismissing their concerns as made up (even when there's research to back it up), "why aren't you talking about what this is like for cis and trans women instead??".
I've seen trans men accused of being TERFs or being liars (by other trans people even - wtf) when they talk about their experiences of allies actively excluding them from trans spaces or harassing them for using T4T tags. I've seen men be accused of lying about publicly accessible clinical research that shows men make up 75%-77% of suicide cases - or worse suggest they deserve it. I see posts about how men's complaints "aren't unique to them" and dismiss them because women also suffer things those authors assume are the same (even when the research contradicts this).
And here's the thing:
When you assume feminine=good/safe/gentle and masculine=bad/unsafe/enemy - you're parroting a conservative talking point.
There is no way around this fact.
A big part of what underpins child rearing being "the woman's domain" in conservatism, is the idea that men are inherently dangerous and therefore shouldn't really be around children without women present.
The reason why they blame women for abuse and rape - because they believe men are inherently dangerous and if a woman trusted them then it's her fault.
Part of why women have been effectively banned from many trades and careers for so long is the assumption that being around that many men presents an inherent danger to a woman.
"But!" you might be saying, "This person is clearly talking about men engaging in open conflict as good here!"
Yeah because conservatives see politics as an inherently male/dangerous/toxic sphere and uphold it as such.
I could go on and on really.
All of this is to say - please be more thoughtful in what you consume, comment, and reblog.
There are experiences specific to being masculine. Erasing that is one, a dick move, but two, particularly violent toward those talking about trans masculine, minority masculine, disabled masculine, and queer masculine experiences.
All privilege comes at a cost. Listening when people talk about that cost is key building a new more fair reality. Seeing the privilege is not worth the cost makes fervent allies. Want more allies? Don't be a dick to people having that realization.
Push back against the assumption of woman=good and man=bad when you see it - especially in community spaces. The amount of times I've seen domestic violence services only available to women is insane...
Do not let identarian politics blind you to the fact we're all human and working toward our own liberation should not come at the oppression of another. Believe me, those with real power would much rather you stay raging out at men in a similar class with you than directing your efforts at them.
The right wing wants you to believe it's either/or. Fuck that - it's both/and.
#been having more feelings about this lately#I wish there was more room for genderfluid folks#in this conversation#I've passed as male#I've passed female#I've not passed as either#it grants a unique perspective#and yet we're largely erased#anywho#please make and boost trans masc posts#only making reblogging trans fem posts#plays into that women=good and men=bad dichotomy#the like/reblog rate in this post#versus trans/queer posts more generally#is night and day#which kind of proves the point
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Your post about "transitioning to escape gender but then there's more gender" has been rotating furiously in my mind since I saw it. When I first realized I was trans at age 15, I identified as agender, but I knew I wanted to go on T and get top surgery so I decided it would be simpler to tell everyone I was a trans man and that just kind of became the truth. Now 10 years later I'm sorta starting to feel like I wanna actually be agender again, but the idea of an identity shift like that at my current age is terrifying and idek who I'd tell, or how I'd do it, and I don't think I wanna stop using he/him exclusively, and I have no idea why I'm telling *you* this other than that I'm scared to talk to anyone I know about it because it feels like somehow admitting that I was wrong about the gender I fought like hell to become, even though i don't really think that's the case I think my sense of self might just be continuously evolving... but I just wanna say you talking about having a gender shift like once every several years is helping me process this rn and feel like I'm not faking anything now AND wasn't faking anything before.
Dog i am right there with you. As a kid I always thought gender was bullshit, the coercive nature of it disgusted and scared me and I rebelled against it the best that I could. I loathed being assigned to any gender category, I never identified as a "girl", but I didn't really identify with any other category either. Puberty terrified me (and of course, it does most young people, but it felt like it would only more deeply entrench the category that I was assigned to in other people's minds, it made it more difficult to escape). I had trans friends as a teen but it did not occur to me to transition because there was really no end goal that I wanted to head toward, I just knew what I wanted to avoid and not experience. I coped mostly by degendering my body with a fairly androgynous style and way of presenting myself to the word and mannerisms, but also by starving myself which was not so great, and not sustainable. I considered transness for myself, even trying on a friend's binder and presenting masculinely at certain queer events, but it seemed to me at the time like just another way in which to obsess over gender, a foolish coercive socially constructed thing that i was trying to avoid.
In my 20s, I learned more about nonbinary people and figured that explained things pretty well. I was enamored with the transition journeys of some other trans people, largely trans women more than trans masculine ones (with some trans-effeminate faggot boy exceptions), but I still didn't want to take on all the expense and uncertainty and hassle of navigating the medical system for myself. I didn't think that the pursuit of being happy merited taking on so many risks or fiddling with myself so much. I saw it as an extravagance I didn't deserve, I guess, and I also couldn't locate a target outcome that seemed desirable enough for me. I was still dealing with an eating disorder and recovering from some trauma and didn't really think about my life in the long term. I guess I still don't, haha, whoops.
Eventually I came out as nonbinary, and nobody really gave a shit. There is a lot of useless, solidarity-breaking discourse that happens online about essentially who is "more" oppressed, binary trans people or nonbinary people, and a lot of that fight amounts to the two groups shouting about the ways in which they annoy one another without there being any cogent analysis of power and where oppression comes from (let alone how much those two categories overlap).
But I will say that being a they/them was far more difficult than being a trans guy socially and institutionally, because your identity is completely illegible to every system around you. "binary" trans people struggle under this too, but i have found there are some immense benefits to having a socially and institutionally legible target gender. nobody would fucking actually they/them me. not anyone. not even other trans people and queer people. there were no public gendered spaces for me. there were no spaces for me. there was no way to move through the medical system, professional life, and other public institutions as a nonbinary person. i was still just a cis woman in everyone's eyes. including the people who claimed to support me. and it was massively frustrating.
and so i think ultimately, i took my frustrations with not being at all able to escape coerced gendering as a nonbinary person and combined that with the affinity i do feel for queer men and the general sense of misery i was still experiencing in my life and decided what the hell, i'll round myself up to being a trans guy. i upped my T dose, i dressed more masculinely, i eventually got a super masculine hair cut that really squared off my jawline and got me gendered correctly, and i started more consciously inhabiting queer men's spaces.
and it was pretty dope. for a while. i felt the rush of having gotten away with something. when people effortlessly gendered as male i felt freed at last from the pressure to be a woman. i was no longer being coerced into being something that i was not. i had escaped the enforced category so much that people couldn't even see the history of that category being pushed onto me. there was relief.
but then. as always happens. people made little comments about my handshake being too weak for a man. the hypermasc dudes at the leather bar rolled their eyes at me and all the other effeminate dudes swanning around the bar. the people who picked me up off the apps or at the sauna would always let it slip, eventually, that they had a lot of experience with trans guys, or had most recently been dating all trans guys, and it would make me feel like a stock character to them, yet another category into which all kinds of assumptions had been projected. a type not a person. a few people said my haircut made me look like i was in the military or described me as actually masculine, which was equally jarring because it was so incorrect. people tried to affirm me by saying i was such a dude, i was such a man, i was such a fag, i was such a gay bro, pawing all over me leaving the mark of all their assumptions and oversimplifications behind. i had tried to run away from gender and there i was just BASTING all the time in everybody's goddamn assumptions about gender. trans people didn't talk about it any less than cis people did, they were just as fucking confining to be around.
it honestly feels really dirty. when people try to affirm your gender constantly and can't stop talking about it, when people look past you and see only your body, your history, or the role they have typecast you in, when people use your body as an outlet for their own gender or sexuality explorations, when they keep trying to measure every single facet of existence up into being masculine or being feminine or being toppy or bottomy or any other gendered type, it's claustrophobic.
as a trans man i tried playing this whole gender game and the second i started winning i began to feel even more disgusted with myself. it wasn't a victory or an escape, it was a capitulation. exploring with my identity and presentation has brought positive things into my life and my health has gotten better as a result, and i've made wonderful friends who, like me, are disaffected by this coercive gendering system. so i don't regret any of that. but trying to make myself legible under the existing gendered system was a fool's fucking errand. i wish i hadnt done it to myself and i wish i hadnt had it pushed onto me. to be clear, it was cissexist, binarist society that forced it onto me; even when other queer people coated me in their gendered assumptions that is obviously a byproduct of societal conditioning, and it's conditioning that ive reinforced in my own behavior and outlook toward others plenty of times too. we all do it, and we are all wronged by the existing coercive gender system.
i dont even care how i fucking identify anymore and i have no intention of changing pronouns again or anything, i'm so bored of it, i just actually want off this fucking thing. im not interested in trying to make others understand what i am anymore or in who i am even being simply categorizable, i dont want to obsess anymore over how i am perceived or to attempt engineer my appearance and mannerisms to broadcast an identity to anyone. i dont even want to fuck anybody right now at all because im so sick of how much that's a gender pantomime for people. i want off this fuckin ride man im so done.
it's kind of freeing, to hit this point of complete gender apathy, and i think it is a pretty common stage of identity development for a lot of queer people who have explored multiple identities and roles over time. there is no category that i actually am, or that anyone is, there are just the frameworks that society has given us to work with to understand ourselves, and the ways in which we flatten who we are to be able to make sense of the world using those frameworks. but who i actually am is so much more contextual and mutable than all that. i am a different person in the classroom than i am on the train platform than i am in the bedroom than i am cuddling on the couch than i am when i'm working out than i am when curled up on the floor crying than i am at a big furry convention. who i am continues to change as new people come in and out of my life and age and change and my body alters and as the weather turns. who fuckin knows man it's nothing and everything. i want to let it just be
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One thing I don't like about trans critical spaces is how they are focused on trans women being unattractive and 'cringe.' this is just my personal experience, but I have been sexually victimized by multiple trans women, most of whom passed, many of whom were skinny and beautiful and most of which had high brow tastes and no interest in anime or other cringe topics. one of these TIMs was a serial sexual assailant and I think probably attracted to underage boys, and she was also beautiful and charismatic. Meanwhile, I also know multiple trans women who are good people and don't infringe on female spaces but who are conventionally "ugly", broad-shouldered, and have masculine interests. It also seems like the only thing TIMs criticize about each other publically is being "ugly", large, or fat.
my position has consistently been for about 15 years that mocking someone's appearance is not a feminist act. it simply isn't.
mocking appearance is essentially a cruel hobby, it's primate social aggression we're using our huge brains for. it's really fun, and that's why almost everyone does it. i sometimes do it too, in private, in intimate company, and it's enjoyable. i say this to clarify that despite my position, i don't set myself apart or above from women who do it. i do it too. and it's constant in basically every subculture online. julie bindel actually posted on her facebook recently troubled about this same thing. as you said, it's so common in queer/trans circles too, the long-forgotten 2013 values of tenderqueerism fallen to the wayside. stan culture, politics, just basically everything...i really can't stress enough that in my opinion, it is a hobby
mocking appearances is not feminist or activism. it quite often is anti-feminist. it's kindergarten stuff to not judge a book by its cover. it doesn't matter what a male person looks like - he is still male and all considerations that apply to male people apply to him. i don't need to think a male person has a hideous appearance to criticize him for any of the oppressive acts he's doing. focus on appearance (or other unrelated personal attacks) often takes the sting out of a criticism of someone's character, morals or actions and makes your argument easier to dismiss. and of course the now mocked & dismissed concept that when you rip into someone's appearance, you do friendly fire to anyone around who shares those features. but of course this doesn't matter to anyone because it's 1. so fun 2. we're so used to it 3. everyone is doing it 4. so who cares? (I do. However)
i also just can't really scrape up that much finger wagging anymore at women who do spend a huge amount of time blowing off steam mocking the insane parodies that trans women present as. it's basically evil imaginative play. it's just not activism and acting like it is, as you said, is really detrimental to radical feminism being understood as a feminist way of thought that deeply affects women's lives.
as for the rest of this, have you read pronouns are rohypnol? you do not have to call a serial rapist pedophile you knew she. there is no one here but us, he cannot hear you. i encourage you to free up processing power in your mind, especially if you've survived trans male violence. calling the men who harmed you he can be a turning point in reclaiming your own sense of reality, it was for me
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iâm not gonna reblog the actual post bc i am not in the mood for discourse but i am getting kind of tired of seeing âtrans femmes arenât pressuring gnc men to transitionâ posts bc like. idk maybe ur talking abt ppl who are actually saying that, but the vast majority of those posts are made in direct response to gnc men and/or nonbinary ppl who are talking abt our frustrations with the over-familiarity a lot of ppl â not just trans femmes â have developed when it comes to gnc men and nonbinary ppl, telling us what our genders actually are bc weâre clearly just confused or donât want to âadmit the truth.â
iâm sure there are individual people like transmeds who pressure ppl to transition but thatâs not what most of these convos have been abt. weâre talking abt the ppl who tell gnc men theyâre clearly an egg bc they like wearing womenâs clothes and painting their nails, or tell amab nonbinary ppl who present masculine that theyâre âbasically a manâ or that theyâre a âtrans woman in denial.â weâve talked abt how east asian men and jewish men have historically been demonized as a part of their systemic oppression and the way ppl unwittingly continue that cycle with those of us who are gnc and/or nonbinary. weâve talked abt the way even ppl who say they accept nonbinary ppl are still enforcing a masculine/feminine binary, and how this continues to disproportionately affect intersex people.
and like. itâs not some nefarious plot to get more ppl to transition. itâs just a combination of ppl not having boundaries and acting inappropriately, ppl not doing the work to really unlearn the gender binary, and ppl not taking into account the way other intersections interact with gender.
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"I don't owe you androgyny"
Iâm not sure how many times Iâve heard this rallying cry repeated in the non-binary community now. The idea that us enbies are people that are not simply the Harry-Styles-in-the-ugliest-outfit-you-can-possibly-imagine stereotype of a mix between femininity and masculinity is analogous to the core struggle genderqueer people face daily against the traditional western gender binary; âwe get to choose who we are â not youâ. With that in mind, I want to discuss my experience as an AMAB enby â specifically one who âpresents masculineâ.
When I first came out as an enby, I received the standard shit from people. Some insidious, some overt - for every âYouâre just a man in denialâ and âYou just want to invade womenâs spacesâ, I also had a âIâve always thought of you as a man, thoughâŚâ or a âYouâre just a trans women waiting to realise who she isâ. There was a big issue with where these comments, however - they werenât just coming from your regular uneducated bigots.
They were coming from other enbies.
Let me talk about my identity for a moment. I see myself as outside of gender as a construct. Androgyny? Femininity? Masculinity? They mean nothing to me. I am me. That is my identity. That is who I want to be seen as, and no less. Am I masculine? Apparently. I dress practically the same now as I did before I came out: for utility. Sure, I like to look attractive, but first and foremost I dress for my own comfort â to use the word that people refer to me as, âmasculineâ. T-shirt. Jeans. Boots.
I also have my bra. A ratty old thing, it stops my breasts from poking out too much or moving in an uncomfortable way. I have a disorder that causes AIS, which means my body doesnât process testosterone properly, leading to androgynous sexual characteristics - breasts, no body hair, no facial hair, softer skin, that sort of thing. My disorder is pretty metaphorical for my experience of gender; Iâve never fitted neatly into any category. As a kid, I played as much in a âfeminineâ way as a did a âmasculineâ way, much to the chagrin of my parents. When I had been properly house-broken to the traditional rules of gender, I was a mess. Your classic mid-teens âalpha maleâ wannabe. I couldnât mediate my body, my personality, my experiences with what everyone else told me was how I was supposed to be; to put it another way, who I was against how people told me I had to be.
I didnât owe them masculinity, but by god did I feel like I did.
This isnât a feeling thatâs gone away since I realised who and what I truly am; itâs morphed. I know the classic narrative of queerdom is solidarity, empathy, and resistance in the face of oppression, but my reality has been dog-eat-dog world of exclusion, infighting, distrust, and derision.
I donât owe anyone androgyny, but by god do I feel like I need to.
Why do I feel that need? My identity is defined by rejection of gender. I donât fit into a category â sex or gender. If I were staying true to myself (#Slay) Iâd feel no need to change my gender presentation for the public eye. I should be me â no less. However, gender is a social construction. We in the genderqueer community have taken that idea to a logical conclusion: we have the ability to define ourselves - nobody else. We have absolute sovereignty over our own identities. Gender is still, however, a social construction. The words âMasculineâ, âFeminineâ, âAndrogynousâ â they mean nothing to me internally, in the domain of myself, but socially? They apply. My presentation is how I am judged; literally, how I present to people. The social qualities that these categorisations hold is how the majority of people get their first impressions of me, how they interpret my actions, my words, my ideas.
A lot of people are scared of masculinity, and for good reason, too. Patriarchy, intersexual violence, sexual assault, the list goes on and on and on. I wouldnât dare invalidate their experiences for any amount of personal validation of my own identity - but thatâs not to say those reactions donât invalidate my identity. In my experience, presenting how I do â a âmasculineâ AMAB enby â is an incredibly fine line in the genderqueer community. At one moment, I am the genderless entity I want to be perceived as. I am me - my personality, my actions, my good and bad qualities. The next moment, I am a man. Frightening, unempathetic, a bull in the china shop of other peopleâs fears and traumas â a danger to be managed and accounted for.
My experience of gender is a constant battle. Even in the realm of those who do not normally view me as masculine, all it takes is a single mistake to trigger the view. I monitor what I say, how I act, what I do in order to maintain the social view that I am me  â not a man. In my experience, my  assigned sex and gender matter just as much in genderqueer spaces as they do in the outside world. I have to perform to expectations, partake in the gendered masquerade for acceptance.
I am not a man, nor a male â I rejected the former, and the latter is a rough categorisation for me at best. I canât trade my presentation for the comfort of others; to do so feels like an injustice, a betrayal of myself and the goals of the genderqueer movement, yet I canât expect othersâ comfort when I present how I do. To do so would be an injustice to them, a denial of their own experiences. Is that reaction justified? I feel like Iâm not allowed to answer to that â to (ironically) paraphrase Simone de Beauvoir, I feel as though I am both judge and party to this issue.
To summarise this long rant, the genderqueer community has a question to face. Yes, genders are social constructions, but the social aspects of presentation cause intersectional issues we are seemingly struggling with. When considering justice for our masculine siblings, where do we draw the lines of our discourse? How involved should they be in these discussions? Do we take our ideals to their conclusion, involving them and letting them individuate themselves away from their presentation, or do we hold strongly in consideration for the anxieties and traumas of those affected by patriarchy? I would hope there is a third answer here â one that my privileges might not allow me to see, but I hope that in this writing I can convince you, the reader, to consider your own feelings about this issue.
#nonbinary#enby#agender#queer#lgbtq#trans#transgender#queer theory#this isn't even getting into the intersection of race and gender presentation
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Why women presented as men, in their own words
Most of these working-class women appear to have begun their "masculine" careers not because they had an overwhelming passion for another woman and wanted to be a man to her, but rather because of economic necessity or a desire for adventure beyond the narrow limits that they could enjoy as women. But once the sexologists became aware of them, they often took such women or those who showed any discontent whatsoever with their sex roles for their newly conceptualized model of the invert, since they had little difficulty believing in the sexuality of women of that class, and they assumed that a masculine-looking creature must also have a masculine sex instinct.
Autobiographical accounts of transvestite women or those who assumed a masculine demeanor suggest, if they can be believed at all, that the women's primary motives were seldom sexual. Many of them were simply dramatizing vividly the frustrations that so many more women of their class felt. They sought private solutions to those frustrations, since there was no social movement of equality for them such as had emerged for middle-class women. Lucy Ann Lobdell, for example, who passed as a man for more than ten years in the mid-nineteenth century, declared in her autobiography: "I feel that I cannot submit to all the bondage with which woman is oppressed," and explained that she made up her mind to leave her home and dress as a man to seek labor because she would "work harder at housework, and only get a dollar per week, and I was capable of doing men's work and getting men's wages." "Charles Warner," an upstate New York woman who passed as a man for most of her life, explained that in the 1860s:
âWhen I was about twenty I decided that I was almost at the end of my rope. I had no money and a woman's wages were not enough to keep me alive. I looked around and saw men getting more money and more work, and more money for the same kind of work. I decided to become a man. It was simple. I just put on men's clothing and applied for a man's job. I got it and got good money for those times, so I stuck to itâ
A transvestite woman who could actually pass as a man had male privileges and could do all manner of things other women could not: open a bank account, write checks, own property, go anywhere[âŚ]
Ralph Kerwinieo (nee Cora Anderson), an American Indian woman who found employment for years as a man and claimed that she "legally" married another woman in order to "protect" her from the sexist world, also expressed feminist awareness for her decision to pass as a man:
âThis world is made by manâfor man alone.... In the future centuries it is probable that woman will be the owner of her own body and the custodian of her own soul. But until that time you can expect that the statutes [concerning] women will be all wrong. The well-cared for woman is a parasite, and the woman who must work is a slave.... Do you blame me for wanting to be a man-free to live as a man in a man-made world? Do you blame me for hating to again resume a woman's clothes?â
There must have been many women, with or without a sexual interest in other women, who would have answered her two questions with a resounding "no!"
From âOdd Girls and Twilight Lovers.â The economic reason for women to pass as men is almost never mentioned, funny that!
#mypost#radical feminism#lesbian women#bookcitation#the more things seem to change#gnc women#100 notes tag
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