#having an aftg relapse

[sonacava]

beloved exy boyfriends 🤲

[centaur-dreaming]

Aftg Hunger Games au with Jean as Katniss because in the end Elodie dies anyway

[officialjimmybuffett]

aftg is bad for me i feel like im 16 and crazy again

[allforthebingo]

AFTG Xmas Advent Calendar 2024 || Angst Edition

AFTG Christmas Advent Calendar 2024 || Angst Edition (this version is 18+ due to the context of the prompts (nothing explicit))

PROMPTS [ [#] angst - angst - angst || dialogue ]

[01] slipping on ice - breaking bones - unable to move || "you should have never come here." [02] unhealthy coping mechanism - overworking themselves - somethings never die || "you were just a child." [03] new trauma brings back repressed memories - memory loss - ptsd || "i don't want to remember." [04] fever - hallucinations - long recovery || "you stayed." "i promised."

[05] victim blaming - toxic relationships - tricked || "it's always your fault." [06] broken promises - betrayal - guilt || "everything will be alright, i promise you." [07] feeling tears while sharing a kiss - bathed and cared for by another - tired || "i'm sorry." [08] running away - left all alone - deep longing || "i feel safe, when i am with you."

[09] touch starved - flinching away from a kind touch - blood || "don't let them-" "i won't." [10] won't stop hurting - child abuse - sign language || "i could never leave you behind." [11] bad habits die hard - anxiety - relapsing || "won't you let me see?" [12] rough childhood - demons of the past - sexual assault || “i won't let them lay a finger on you, never again."

[13] chained - forced to lie - shot || "i'd never flinch from your touch." || [14] painful escape - forced to choose - career ending injury || "please stop." [15] eating disorder - panic attacks - self-harm || “but you love me anyway, don’t you?” [16] hiding an injury - infection - stitching themselves up || "you're over reacting."

[17] heavy breathing - fainting - feeling uneasy || "stop!" [18] sensory deprivation - overstimulation - strapped down || "you have to hold on." [19] passed out from the cold - can't open their eyes - has yet to wake up || "i hate you." [20] stab wound - being let down by someone they once trusted - first aid || "what happened to us?"

[21] freezing temperatures - hypothermia - left to freeze to death || "don't die on me now." [22] frostbite - hands numb from the cold - chronic pain || “you are- you will be alright, i promise you.” [23] staying awake till they can't anymore - dissociating - nightmares || "it's not your fault." [24] being allowed to heal - not afraid anymore - finally free || "acceptance is the first step, right?"

[belonareyna]

Things that are very? popular in the aftg fandom in terms of HC/fanfics, but I don't read (obviously, I'm not against those. I just don't like them, so I don't read them. Let it be a lesson kids, if you don't like something, DON'T READ IT to just comment hateful things :))

Kateaaron kids: Generally, I don't read fanfic with kids, but if I found one and I'm more or less interested, it is not like a "hard limit," but with Kateaaron is like a hard no. Maybe it is because it is one of the few heterosexual couples that are child free in cannon.

Aaron/Matt relapse: nope, not for me, thank you

Aaron being mean to Andrew: not because he couldn't, he very much can. But in cannon is actually way more the other way around. And most of the fanfics I have read with this in them are mostly just to make Aaron look like a bad guy and Andrew as the victim of him.

Allison being a mean girl like all her personality: when I spot this in a fanfic, I stop.

Kevin being portrait as a coward little bitch

Kevin being homophobic. I think this is because he tells Neil to remain heterosexual because it will be easier. Like he's not wrong. Literally all sports are homophobic as fuck. People have lost his work when they had come out of the closet. Is it right? Obviously not. But Kevin is not wrong.

[afurtivecake]

Jeremy and number 8 / 19 for the ask game?

wow, you found me out. i normally spend zero amount of time thinking about jeremy so this will be good for me.

8) what's something about jeremy in fandom that i despise? despise? i mean, that's a strong word and i don't know if i have feelings that strong about jeremy. (there are characters whose treatment in fandom i do despise but that's not the question.) there is one small thing. sometimes i feel like people treat "normal" and "traumatized" as two completely different sides. and that if jeremy is "normal" then he should behave completely as though he is normal and reasonable and fine. not only is that not how being normal or being traumatized works, that's not how it works in aftg as a series. even the most painfully normal characters in the original series have a few quirks that make you wonder, are they really ok? and that's fine! that's realistically mundane actually! just because jeremy is more normal than the foxes, doesn't mean he can't do things that are wrong and fucked up. just because he has a supportive network of friends and has been through therapy, doesn't mean that he can't have little hang-ups and relapses into old habits or feelings. "jeremy is a well-adjusted person" and "dude, jeremy has Issues" can coexist without it being "out of character" or abnormal.

19) what's a relationship jeremy has in canon that i don't like? er. this is hard. i'm going to have to say the relationship i was most disappointed by so far is jeremy & laila. I was really excited at first because i've been partial to laila since tkm and i loved that jeremy's first act of Dealing with Things after being asked by kevin to take jean is to consult laila at super early in the morning. i thought that meant laila was the one jeremy goes to for advice or something and i was disappointed by the lack of substance to their interactions. maybe i'm just not seeing it, but if asked to write a fic about jeremy and laila's dynamic, i would not be able to do it. i feel like we don't even know what jeremy thinks of laila. yeah, are you listening to me jeremy? forget about jean; tell me what you think about laila.

[kiwiaok]

aftg is eating up my brain so badly, I have a constant stream of ideas and I’m shit at actually writing them but I need to get them out of my system bc it’s suffocating, so:

• an au where king and sir turn out to be shapeshifters so andreil magically acquire two spoiled kids

• andreil saying to each other ‘IU’ instead of ‘I hate you’ or ‘I love you’ or anything else. they use it in every kind of situation bc it’s the testament of how much they feel about each other and that’s more important to them than anything else. they’re fighting? IU (I hate you, I’m scared for you, I’m scared of how much power you have over me, I still want you to stay) they’re having sex? IU (I trust you, I love you, I’m going to take care of you, I’ll make you feel good) they’re breaking down? IU (I’ve got you, I’m here, I’m going to stay, I’m going to help best I can)

• a fic where neil dies in baltimore and we see the aftermath told from his perspective as a ghost: introspection, character study, cannibalism, polaroids, inspired by strangers by ethel cain:

• neil taking great pleasure in buying andrew expensive things and seeing him use them, not out of possessiveness but bc he truly just wants andrew to be happy and taken care of. and andrew learning to accept those gifts bc neil never wants anything in return, not even gratitude

• neil getting drugged at eden’s by some stranger and proceeding to glue himself to andrew’s side. the next day andrew is frustrated by that show of trust and he asks how neil could know that it wasn’t him doing the drugging. to which neil replies that he didn’t know that, but he knew that andrew wouldn’t drug him or let anyone touch him without a good reason. so it was okay, he just needed to trust andrew’s judgement and stick by him. and then andrew realising just how much faith neil has in him and having a breakdown about it

• after neil’s bad days, andrew spoons neil and keeps his hand wrapped around neil’s throat while they’re sleeping. it makes neil feel safe and grounded and makes andrew drunk on trust and control (bonus scene: foxes witnessing this one day and completely failing at understanding their dynamic)

• neil getting into a habit of spitting after his time at the nest bc riko used to spit into his mouth and make him swallow it as a power play. whenever neil remembers it the thought of any spit in his mouth, even his own, makes him sick. so he spits

• whenever aaron is on the edge of relapsing instead of telling anyone he just trails after andrew 24/7 bc he knows his brother won’t let him destroy his life

• tlou au where andrew is traveling the world in search of his twin brother and he’s hired to transport neil somewhere. meanwhile, they fall in love with each other and they find out andrew was supposed to deliver neil into his father’s hands (andrew promised neil safety and he refuses to break his promise so this becomes the first job andrew ever failed)

• andreil breaking up and neil desperately trying to prove to himself that he can move on so he takes the page from andrew’s books and starts sleeping around, but he only succeeds in hurting himself and feeling miserable (they get back in the end bc I need them to be happy)

• OH MY GOD HORNY KANDREIL CLASSICAL MUSIC AU!! kevin (and neil?) playing violin and drew being freakishly good at playing every instrument he ever touches but especially the piano. kev giving a performance and andreil sitting in the first row, neil getting a hard on bc kevin looks so good in his suit, with slightly greying hair combed back and passion burning in his eyes. andrew discretely edging him on, palming neil’s dick through the fancy suit’s material and keeping eye contact with kevin the whole time

AND SO MUCH MORE AAAAAA. this is insufferable, I’m writing fics in my head to fall asleep and then I’m waking up literally quoting aftg (genuinely happened last week, I felt like a lunatic) and then I’m going to uni and I spend every lecture thinking about how I can use my degree to better write about those stupid murderous college athletes. what kind of crack did you put in this series, nora?????

[zombiecowboy65]

Is it me or one (1) last book isn't enough to cover the entire year???? Two books have barely covered 4 months (september isn't even over yet)

I know Nora has managed it before, but still. Her writing has been very slow and detailed these first 2 books, it would feel a bit jarring to suddenly fly through the months, you know?

Will we get to see the Trojan vs Foxes final (🤞), Jeremy's graduation, whatever the future holds for him, Jean's prospects, the Wesninski-Moreau trials, possibly Tetsuji's or even the Moriyama's downfall if the FBI is planning something*, etc.???? And if we don't... I don't know if I'll be satisfied with the story

Open endings can work but when a story is so personal and deals with such sensitive topics, I feel like that would be the worst case scenario

I need to KNOW what happens to these children, you know?

I know people expect Jeremy to relapse but I don't think so because can you imagine adding all of THAT on top of all the other stuff that needs to be addressed??

Unless this trilogy is just meant to set up the next one. Which is highly unlikely because years ago Nora said she didn't want anything to do with the aftg universe any more lol but her mind just kept going back to Jean over and over and she just had to do something about it

Maybe a 4th book?

I mean, The Sunshine Court was supposed to be a standalone and we all saw how that went lol

I feel like Neil's story was much easier to tell because there were less things to worry about, the story just needed to focus on the butcher and exy final/Moriyama plot lines (and a deus ex machina/Stuart/the FBI helped us solve one of them + it all happens behind Neil's back and we don't read about it, so we can focus on the games)

But this trilogy has so many more puzzle pieces to fit together, I really don't know what to expect 🥶🥶

*extra content stuff so skip if not interested, but years ago Nora said that during Neil's 2nd/3rd year (can't remember) the Moriyamas decide to "remove" Stuart and replace him with a more loyal individual, and they give Neil a heads up to gauge if he'll be a problem/try to retaliate or not (of course there's nothing Neil can do and he just has to accept that his uncle is going to be killed). This makes me think that the downfall of the Moriyamas won't happen. BUT. So much stuff has changed compared to what Nora wrote years ago and she even said she would delete parts of the extra content. I haven't checked to see if she has tho, and which parts exactly. Maybe just the ones relating to Jean? But I mean... right now even Stuart relates to Jean, so 🤷‍♀️

Everything is possible and my nerves can't take it 🙃

I also have been wondering this…

This trilogy is character driven where Neil’s was plot driven, but there are still a lot of time sensitive things we have to get thru I think ? Like Jean’s trauma was l unavoidable, which makes sense as to why it took up all of book 1, and without Jeremy’s the dynamic made no sense, so book 2 needed to be about his, but book 3 has the job of pushing them together (i will not entertain ideas that they aren’t endgame, bc i have eyes), tying up all loose ends, and handling the last of the big bads™️.

Can that all fit? Maybe. It really depends on the pacing because we have been going very slowly along, so to randomly start speeding up would be a little insane. BUT I have seen it happen before.

In terms of Jeremy relapsing… I don’t think he’s going to relapse, but I DO think he needs to have a breakdown or something of the sort. For book 1 & most of 2 Jean was holding onto those metaphorical chains that kept all his grief and anger and sadness in wraps, but then when he has the breakdown with Rhemann, he says they were rendered powerless. And Jeremy’s been doing the same thing. Except instead of chains I think he says he shoves them into a box (?) . He uses a couple other metaphors too, but the point is he is repressing like crazy, and by the end we still haven’t really addressed his issues.

So that’s one thing that needs to happen, plus I do think he’s headed for some kinda physical injury. Between the mentions of him falling asleep driving and Bryson being violent… I just am unsure which will come first.

Also the trial!!!! I literally have no idea how this trial is going to go and I do not understand that bait comment unless the FBI are going for the moriyamas as well. Which adds like, a whole new layer to this. So there’s that and Jeremy’s thing, and the romance, which would —in my opinion— each require a big chunk of the book, and then we should be in like ? November ? December ? So I really don’t know how we’ll get to the end of the year. (Nora said something like her notes for TSC3 are 16 pages, so either we are getting a Bible length book, or a 4th, in which case I’m sat for either ).

But I do agree that an open ending here would be unsatisfying. ESPECIALLY with all the emphasis on Jeremy’s future & jean’s as well .

Also, the extra content stuff is very interesting, but like you said I think Nora’s probably going back on some of it. I had no idea they took out Stuart 💀. But also if the fbi ARE going after the moriyamas, it would get Jean and Kevin and Neil out of their deals right? And ppl have been saying that it wouldn’t feel like a good ending for him if he’s still stuck in that, but idk… would it feel too convenient to take out an entire mob family that fast? Because in my personal opinion it kinda does . If it happens tho, I won’t complain.

[writtenicarus]

AFTG Headcanon Series [4] Kevin

part 1, part 2, part 3 part 4, part 5

Okay first of all let's start off by saying this man is so much more then vodka and goddamn exy, seriously

The fandom and the foxes never take his trauma and issues seriously and it hurts me to the core so much

A year after he told Wymack he was his father he started getting him Father's Day cards, he was extremely embarrassed at first and ran away but Wymack found him after and hugged him

Eventually sees Bee about his drinking problems, he tries very hard to work on it but it's still quite tough and he relapses several times

Trials to call Jeremy and Jean once every two weeks to check in on them, see how they're doing, he's trying to build friendships

Still gets upset on both Riko's birthday and the anniversary of his death but, again, it's another thing he's working on

Is able to set boundaries with Andrew, he doesn't trust him as much as he used to after what happened on the bus trying to figure out where Neil was but he's at peace with it, he doesn't feel bad. Andrew fucked up, he's allowed to distance himself

Finds new friends that take the same classes as him

Starts truly coming out of the shell he was forced into throughout his teenage years and is able to discover who he is as a person

Gets really close with Neil by the end of Neil's second year at Palmetto and he values Neil's opinions on everything

Doodler!!! This man will absently draw on anything without noticing including the people around him

Doesn't like hugs from just anyone but if he does trust you will hug you for hours

Is not really the type to get sick but when he does he takes absolutely no time off to feel better, he just pushes himself until he breaks and moves on

Silently judges people whenever he leaves the house

Idk why but I could see him being really really interested in marine biology

Writes a book at some point in his life - whether it's about exy or whatever he does eventually and it does really well

Can tie his shoelaces at an alarming pace because he used to being forced onto the court as soon as possible, but also because he can't wait

I'd like to say he eventually Coaches his own team, but I don't think he would, I think he would play until he couldn't no longer and opt for a quieter life (perhaps pursuing marine biology)

Misses his mom oh so very much

Hates any form of hot drink unless it's extremely black coffee or tea with ONE sugar

Is trying to get out of the funk he's in when it comes to food, he is trying to learn that not all foods are bad and will kill him just because they're not fruit or vegetables

Afraid of dying and drowning (why he works so hard on being a strong swimmer)

Can't sleep fully in the dark, he got used to it early on but after being at Palmetto and getting used to the life around him, if he ever was put in a dark room it triggers a lot of flashbacks for him

Always helps Abby with dinner when the foxes go to her house, she will never be Kayleigh but he eventually sees her as a motherly figure

Overall, I think his recovery and development as a person starts with him realising he doesn't have to box himself up anymore

Part of why he cared so much for Exy was because it was all he had

Now he has so much more

[sirfatcat-mccatterson]

♡ Fic masterpost ♡

Valentines Drabbles

Rating: General Audiences

Chapters: 14/14

Pairing/s: Laila Dumont/Catalina Alverez, Jeremy Knox/Jean Moreau, Dan Wilds/Matt Boyd, Renee Walker/Jean Moreau, wymack/abby/betsy, kateaaron, renison, sethalli, andreil, kandreil, kevjerejean, kevthea, nicky/eric, Kevalli

Words: 5,601

Collection of drabbles written for millportisntreal's Valentines calender on tumblr

Through the Ashes

Rating: Mature

Chapters: 3/4

Pairing: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard

Words: 29,035 out of 39,054 (ish)

Enrolling into Basgiath War College was not something Neil ever thought he would do, especially when his father ran the place. Now that he's here, he fights with everything in his arsenal to survive, to bond with a dragon, and to keep out of his fathers way. With the war outside the college walls getting worse and the wards that protect them weaker, Neil soon learns that there is more to fear in the world than his butcher of a father.

Based on Fourth Wing, using only AFTG characters and some creative license. No knowledge of the original series should be necessary!

Mafia Cats

Rating: G

Words: 4015

Pairing/s: andreil

Andrew is canvassing an uptown neighbourhood for his mom's cat charity and rings on the latest of rich-shit houses doorbell. That house? The Wesninski residence.

Adventures of the Heart

Rating: E

Words: 18719

Pairing/s: andreil

Andrews life is turned upside down when he recieves a package from his dead sister-in-law and a phone call threatening his brothers life. One flight to South America later he meets Neil, a snarky jungle boy who promises to help him find his brother, and they find much more along the way.

Dead Like Me

Rating: M

Words: 16,321

Pairing/s: andreil

Andrew was bored. He worked a deadend job to support his brother through medical school, lived with his cousin, and basically had no life or prospects of his own and no drive to change that.

After a freak accident (and his subsequent death) Andrew is recruited to the FOX reapers to serve his time before moving onto "the great beyond". Now Andrew has a second chance. He collects souls, protects his family, and even falls in love after death.

BEE MINE

Rating: G

Words: 108

Pairing/s: andreil

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Relapse

Rating: T

Words: 1390

Pairing/s: katelyn/aaron, andreil

Andrew had almost slammed the door in Katelyn's face when she came and knocked on his dorm room.

He was halfway there before she blurted out. "Aaron’s missing."

Trail Talk

Rating: G

Words: 1638

Pairing/s: katelyn/aaron, andreil

The twinyards have a heart to heart before Aarons trial

The Greatest Show

Rating: T

Words: 23106

Pairing/s: dan/matt, renison, andreil

Dan Wilds has always dreamt of fame and fortune. Exotic performances, daring feats, flashing lights. If the whole world is a stage, her life was to be the greatest show on earth. After some hard work, Dan and her family seem to have it all. And it was them against the world.

When a charismatic singer pulls her away from her family, she has to fight to get her life back, and hope that it's not too late to save what's left.

[leedee013]

NOT ONLY THAT but also this brings up the point once more of people forgetting that Neil is an incredibly unreliable narrator, which literally means that he is incredibly BIASED.

It should be self-explanatory that yes, of course most people are going to side with Neil and have a vehement distaste/hatred for Riko. It's the light that Neil shines his character in. And yes! He does terrible things! But... that's the point of the series. None of the characters in AFTG are necessarily "good" people, and they've ALL done some pretty messed up things.

But the world isn't divided into "good" and "bad." We're all a bit messed up. We make mistakes. We say and do things that hurt others and can be irreparable. But that doesn't mean that the good that people do should be discredited, or that the bad that people do should be ignored.

However, the way people talk about Riko is truly telling in whether they have actually accepted/learned the messaging of AFTG or not. TBH I think that the "happy ending" we get shouldn't be viewed as such. In fact, I think that we as an audience should be horrified by the fact that Neil watches Riko be shot point blank and practically celebrates in response.

One day I'll organize my thoughts on every AFTG character and analyze them to my heart's content but that's reserved for a week of vacation at a cabin with me, myself, my husbands, and my copy of the series. For now though, my stance:

It's disgusting how people talk about Riko as though he deserves the ending he received. It's especially disgusting when the same people who state this go out of their way to find every excuse in the book to explain why Andrew would do the things he does in the books, or try to twist him into a better person than he is. I love every character in this strange series, but that includes their "warts," so to say. Literally no character in All for the Game is free of a fair amount of trauma, and it impacts each character differently. Kind of like how it impacts every person you meet on the street in a different way.

So how does everyone who reads AFTG not come away realizing that approaching people with empathy and an attempt toward understanding can literally save lives? How is it possible that—in a series where the antagonist is used to show how the opposite can affect someone; how a life without empathy or forgiveness or compassion can wear someone down, especially when there's no visible sign of freedom—people don't understand that justifying the actions of one character and vilifying the actions of another is pointless?

So go ahead. Tell me about how Andrew nearly breaking Allison's neck is an example of him being a good brother, or about how Kevin probably deserved to also nearly have his neck broken by Andrew. Or about the time he teamed up with Matt's mother and allowed Matt to relapse. But explaining it away and using Andrew's own trauma as an excuse is exactly how abuse is ignored and brushed under the rug.

TL;DR just because your favorite character has a sad backstory and trauma does not mean their actions are excusable, and does not give you the moral high ground you think it does when you in turn refuse to acknowledge the trauma and sad backstory of characters you don't like

so we connected the dots (shit) andrew stans will excuse explain and rationalize every little of his behaviours based on abuse and trauma but when character like riko is shown to have abuse and trauma suddenly his actions are not explainable or possible to be rationalized the same way Even tho the mechanism is the same and so its much easier to erase any damage or outside influence that might have shaped riko I'm sorry if you want to write me some long reply and argue with me but i simply do not care.

[djhedy]

what is canon and should we respect it (a not-essay on aftg fandom)

i want to write an *entire* essay on this but i am between meds right now so exhausted and suffering a HEAT WAVE (uk?? why! we are normally so temperate) and also there's always a risk of sounding patronising when trying to put your opinions/experience across, so i'll try to write briefly and wotnot

what is canon:

"the material accepted as officially part of the story in an individual universe of that story" or, as we'd probably all put it "wot the author wrote"

why this matters, and why the author matters - our characters wouldn't exist without them

beyond a basic respect for the author, which i would define as like not being a bitch to them (because every human being has feelings, and this is something easily forgotten on the internet), we land on the question "should we respect canon"

well... maybe?

it sort of depends why you're here. the experience of literature/art can be defined a few ways: what the author intended, what the reader experiences, the impact on society.

what nora intended: if you care, she's written a lot of extra content on tumblr. but given that the majority of people who read the books probably won't care enough to find the extra content, this isn't canon. it isn't canon because it isn't in the books of the story. calling it canon is gatekeeping. but it's SUPER FUN and i enjoy seeing what nora's interpretation of her own characters are. thanks nora we luv u.

the impact on society: people get SO UPSET about this question. and it's a reasonable question for sure. art does impact society and vice versa. i just kind of don't think this is the big deal you think it is. people are always hunting for signs of homophobia, sexism, transphobia etc in fandom works. and like... sure, you can do that if you'll enjoy it. this essay isn't really about this, and i don't want to ramble. but aftg is an indie publication. its impact is so insubstantial. maybe chill out. the people who are like AARON IS HOMOPHOBIC BUT ANDREW THE MURDERER IS UWU or, opposite, SETH DESERVED REDEMPTION AND MATT IS ABLEIST - my guys it's a book. these characters are flawed. literature isn't meant to be a pinnacle of morals (unless... it is) and we're supposed to love these characters because they work through their flaws and settle into who they are. are they still dicks at the end? sure! it's fun. not everything has to be light and perfect. and you'll have more fun with art if you stop hunting for homophobes in the fandom of an independent publication with a few thousand readers. that's not how to succeed at the gay agenda. we're on it, i promise.

WHAT THE READER EXPERIENCES: this is the big one! you know when you read a book or watch a film and say "oh wow so it was about THIS, THIS was the important bit!" and someone disagrees? well, they're not wrong and you're not wrong. experience is a whole thing. what someone has experienced in life before they come to the art, what they experience during the art itself. art is a communication from the creator to the audience and that communication is subtle and will be different for *every* single person.

this will upset a lot of people, but it isn't canon that neil is demisexual. the label isn't mentioned once in the books. can it be inferred? ABSOLUTELY. he's demi in all of my fanfics because i personally love it. but nora mentioning it in extra content does not make it canon, in the same way that jkr telling everyone she saw dumbledore as gay after the books, does not make it canon. #theauthorisdead (but let's still be nice to them. ...unless you're jkr. fuck jkr.)

my point is just that canon doesn’t always matter. collectively most of us have decided neil is demi, which is important rep to a lot of people without rep. how sexy of us.

and experience matters. there will be people to whom it's important to write neil as not-very-demi. there will be people to whom it's important to write neil as super ace. be kind to each other.

i've decided i need to add another heading.

WHAT'S THE POINT OF FANFICTION?

to preserve canon? no, because... nora already did that. there's a huge amount of fun to be had trying to write neil and andrew as *accurately* as possible - but this *accuracy* will be different from person to person. because a work of literature is complicated and writing is hard and - individual experience. we've already gone through that. but like, have you ever tried to write andrew's dialogue accurately, the way he speaks like he's half-high half-shakespearean?? it's DIFFICULT. i have tried.

you know what's also fun? experimenting. what would their relationship be like if neil was an alcoholic. what if andrew liked wearing dresses. what if one of them cheated. what if matt died of a drug overdose.

in my head the point of fanfiction is EXPLORATION.

sometimes you're exploring the characters as accurately to your experience of them as possible, sometimes you're adding a new element in to see how they would react. let's be honest, that new element is usually something you're obsessed with in your own life. gender presentation? why people cheat? why people relapse? why relationships break down?

anyway, back to the list.

WHAT'S THE POINT OF FANFICTION?

to dick around and have a nice time? yes.

to work through your own identities/traumas/what have you? probably if you're anything like me and basically everyone i know in the fandom lol.

i think this is everything i want to say.

no wait i lied! final point.

if you've ever studied literature or philosophy the first things they teach you is to question *everything*. for example: what is fanfiction, what is canon, "we have to respect canon" do we??

if you've heard someone using the word "feminisation" to mean "make neil soft uwu", rather than repeating the word, question why it's being used here. what does feminise mean, what does soft mean. maybe you love the dark side to neil, maybe other people like the side of him that can heal.

there's nothing wrong with playing with sexual dynamics and relationship dynamics. sometimes you might be writing something cliched, homophobic, sexist - if you work out you are doing that, maybe stop it. on the other hand lots of couples *do* play out the dynamics of - trousers on in the bedroom, trousers on in the relationship. it's not homophobic to depict a homosexual relationship where one is subby and one is dommy. it exists. so like, chill a little.

and remember you are not always right and everyone is different?

man did i accidentally make this patronising?

woops.

lots of love hedy x

[i-did]

I love your hc about kevin being bisexual aromantic and the part about his relationship with thea! I like hows it not just a "they lived happily ever after" situation, it feels more realistic. You also mentioned how you have some ideas for seth? I'd love to hear them!

Yeah! I'm not super into happily ever afters, I men to an extent sure, but for me they're so unrealistic that it pulls me out. I like how in aftg the happily ever after is that neil gets to live and hes with andrew and just has to pay a shit ton of money but we know that doesnt matter to him. Outside of context that doesn't seem very happily ever after, and I like it. It seems achievable and realistic while still romantic.

I think Kevin loves thea and thea loves Kevin, but out of habit and as partners with shared truama more than anything to do with the person themselves. Thea might not even love kevin romantically and he doesn't love her romantically but they don't really know that. And you don't need to know that because you don't need it. They fight and everything and have struggles but don't ever split up imo.

Okay seth ideas:

I have a lot of ideas for seth, I headcanon his mom was Vietnamese and his dad was white. He grew up with a racist dad who instilled toxic masculinity into him especially as an Asian man and then his dad dipped leaving him with insecurity of not being manly enough as well as abandonment issues. His mom worked a lot a lot a lot a lot to keep them afloat, he had a lot of brothers and the hierarchy was enforced with rough housing, the 2 oldest brothers suddenly parents. None of the kids ever got Vietnamese names legally because the dad wouldn't want them to have "funny sounding names" but the mom occasionally called them pet names, seth was hoping after the dad dipped at least their mom would finally be able to teach them more Vietnamese to close the barrier between them, her finally being able to speak in the language she was most comfortable in, but she was too busy and communication was always simple and shallow.

The whole EC deal with seth, the same family who left him giving him bigger abandonment issues etc etc

What seth looks like in my mind:

Obviosly he looks half Vietnamese half white, but he's a skinny lanky guy with a tooth gap he used to stick dumdum lolipop stick in between when he was little, he's got ashy medium brown hair, its dark when grown out but lightens a bit in the sun, he is one of those people with a lot of moles and freckles he got from his father. He used to be the guy who wore fake tapers and skate shoes, basket ball shorts, and a monster energy drink snap back. He starts to just wear tee shirts and jeans and takes out the fake tapers. He's got nobby knees and elbows he bangs on things and he swears everytime.

If Seth Lived:

Him and allison would have broken up a few more times until one really explosive fight and she says "I can't do this anymore" and he says "I know" and she says "I'm not going to leave you" and he says nothing.

She realizes staying friends with your ex was a promise she couldn't quite keep as much as she wanted to. They drift apart. He relapses but this time Kevin finds him. He's out the rest of the season for rehab, getting his degree online and Wymack pleads with them to let him keep scholarship. They cut him off. Wymack pays for what he can before seth can say no, and just drops off a bunch of applications for scholarships and says "I'm not letting you quit." And someone doesn't leave him.

He becomes a social worker. He actually really loves it. He reconnects with 2 out of his ~7 brothers. One of them died and he didn't even know, and he wishes for a second it was him instead, before remembering that they haven't talked in at least 10 years.

He becomes less homophobic but will still say anything to make someone hurt if he hates them, but he becomes less explosive and more worn out. The second hand trauma from being a social worker weighs on him and kne of his coworkers opens up about talking to someone. Their job doesn't cover therapy. He goes to AA and NA meetings. He's not relapsing, but its free therapy and he knows if he feels tempted he could get a sponsor.

He beats the shit out of someone outside one of the meetings who was trying to sell to the people coming out (he runs away and doesn't get caught,)

He goes on a dating website half assed at around 40 years old.

He meets a woman who is also on there half assed. She's very blunt and it reminds him of allison, but she's no frills and they come from the same type of world. He can relate to her and they don't have screaming matches that start with him refusing to take a gift of a 1200 dollar dress shirt when his from Ross is just fine.

5th date in he tells her he's sober and she says "why don't you think we've never gone to a bar?" And he realizes she's sober too.

10th date she says "i know this was fun, but I have a son and I can't be casual anymore. You have to be in or out."

And he thinks about it. And they talk about it. And he says he's in.

Its years of dating until the mom decides its steady enough to meet the son. He's 12 and says "you're not my new dad" and seth laughs, and the kid is confused, because he was trying to say something that would hurt.

His girlfriend becomes his fiance after she gets pregnant, not just because of the baby but because they've been dating for 6 years now and its been serious. Its a miscarriage and its hard, but they get though it.

Seth gets really close with the son even if he came in later into his life, he recognizes a lot of himself in the kid. He's never like a father to the kid, and seth isn't sure he knows what it means to love someone like a son, but he knows its pretty close and he tries to be the opposite of his dad.

They stay lower middle class their whole lives, her working her way up from grocery self stocker job she had at 16 to store manager just over time, him a social worker, in a cheaper town with not a lot to do, but they have a book shelf were they watch movies.

He turns on a game sometimes and quietly thinks to himself "what the fuck" about the one year of college exy he was benched the most possible drama happens. He'll say "I went to college with that kid" and she'll say "who? Scar face? Isn't he like famous or something?" And he'll say "yeah. He is"

She doesn't tell him he has to do anything he doesnt want to do, but she finds out he's been invited to multiple fox reunions where some of the attendees are rich as fuck athletes and says "i want them to pay for my meal" and so they go. They go in their Walmart dress clothes and they don't feel bad, they think rich people are stupid to spend so much when 20$ is enough for a shirt. Their son is in high school and can watch the house by himself.

Seth sticks to Matt, and then remembers that Dan was always more down to earth and his wife loves dan. Doesn't like the others so much besides Wymack and Matt a bit.

Its the only one they go to, but it reminds him to keep up with the man who had helped him out so much and he stays in contact with Wymack. He feels bad for drifting off but they talk. About once every few months, but its more than before.

Okay I'm ending it about here lol

[palmett-hoes]

since the first step in achieving your goals is to state them aloud, here's a list of aftg fics/ au s that i'd like to write some day

- pre-canon fic from aaron's perspective spanning the twins' first meeting till they're drafted by the foxes and graduate high school. i'm increasingly enamored with aaron as a character as well as with an outside perspective of andrew's actions and i think it would be very interesting to look at the foundation on which their fraught relationship is built and first developed

- even more pre-canon fic. andrew's early life in foster care. yes, we all know about the most... gruesome things that were done to him, but i believe that there is plenty more that has affected and shaped him, especially in relation to my interpretation of andrew as an autistic poc. this would not be a happy fic.

- anastasia au. neil as anya, andrew as dimitri. possibly a plot amalgamation from both the animated movie and the stage show, with changes as i see fit. (no, neil is not the prince of russia). what i find most compelling about this au is the story of neil and andrew as childhood friends and then the angst of having andrew, as an adult, teaching an amnesiac neil how to act like a noble while being convinced that neil is an imposter. good shit

- art school/dance club au. the foxes attend the palmetto school of art at prestigious edgar allen university. they're considered the school's charity cases, and they are NOT friends. andrew is a studio arts major with a concentration in sculpture who works in the campus coffee shop in the mornings and frequents night clubs that employ pretty boys in the evenings. neil is attending college completely on his father's dime, PROVIDED he study what his father wants, despite his desire to study dance and music. going crazy without an outlet, neil takes a secret job as a go-go dancer. look. this may slightly possibly be a result of me having planned to party hardy this summer, then having my plans ruined by the virus :c

- 1950s High School au. the 1950s aesthetics fucking rock even though the 1950s fucking sucked. kinda wanna tackle both. plus, andrew already has that james dean bad boy fast car appeal

- an exploration of mary and nathan's relationship and history. i get that neil's parents are both super taboo and both really really awful people, but i have questions and i want to answer them

- neil never returns from baltimore. in order to keep his deals, permanently, andrew kills riko and tetsugi, and gets over 20 years in prison. when he gets out, he just wants to be alone, but it seems there's a ghost haunting him. this was conceived for MAXIMUM angst, no getting around it. i got the idea from a badacts fic and it has haunted me ever since

- post-canon sexuality exploration fic. i have a real passion for quality sex education and healthy experimentation, and neil very clearly didn't get the chance for either. yet at the end of the books he finds himself in a very intense sexual relationship. i just really want to give him the opportunity to find out how desire works for him and what he likes, on his own terms. i read a lot of fics where neil's desires seem to be completely dependent on andrew's initiaton, and while i do believe that andrew is the only person neil is attracted to and will ever be attracted to, i also want to explore how his sexuality manifests on its own. the vibe i'm going for is, uh, HornySweet (tm), but also with a lot of genuine eductional material. i want this is to be something that offers real information to its readers that may have been inaccessible for a lot of people, on topics like like sexual hygiene, maturbation, and sex toys in a non-fetishy way. this will be very very E rated, but like,, in a very earnest and goofy way because sex and sexuality is neat and cool but it's also not all serious perfect fucking. it's just,, a topic that deserves to be DISCUSSED

- mobster au. andrew, having never met aaron, takes a job for the moriyamas to track down a runaway asset. Neil. upon completion, they make andrew the butcher's apprentice, and pull neil back into the fold as a commodity rather than a person. lots of violence, lots of shady underground dealings, lots of plotting, lots of secrets.

i'm gonna put some more under the cut, ones that i don't feel as strong a drive towards right now or that i haven't thought as much about. if you (yes, YOU) like any of these, or are interested in any of these, or wanna hear more about any of these, or are even inspired to write something yourself by any of these please, PLEASE, say something in the notes, or send me a message, or an ask or anything. ANYTHING. i am stuck inside, all the time, and i am so, so lonely. i answer from hoob-gooblin

- princess bride au. come ON. princess bride is one of the most romantic AND most snarky movies of all time, and andreil literally invented love and devotion sooooooo it's a perfect match. "yes or no" vs "as you wish" kings of consent and communication and unconventional love declarations. also,, he may not be how I imagine andrew, but a young cary elwes in dramatic black pirate getup is DEFINITELY a valid andrew

- hozier au. sometimes,, i listen to an album, and imagine a fic that encompases the whole thing. nothing speaks louder to me than hozier's discography. (also, yes, i am gay). maybe a little bit inside llewyn davis. neil wanders through a small town and takes up some small jobs, but sings his heart out through twisted metaphors once a week in a hole in the wall bar staffed by a very short, dead eyed veteran

- prince and the pauper au. on a stealth recon mission in enemy territory, andrew encounters a local lord who happens to have his face. in a moment of desperation to save himself from arrest, andrew knocks the lord out and assumes his identity. he returns to the castle just in time for prince moriyama to arrive with a shifty-eyed, red-headed handservant in tow. lord aaron of columbia, meanwhile, wakes up on a ship manned by crown traitor and fugitive kevin day, calling him by a name he's never heard before, and then he's in the hands of the guerilla rebel forces that have been attacking the kingdom. i watched barbie princess and the pauper as a child and that movie fucking slaps

- little mermaid/beauty and the beast/bride of the rose beast/ladyhawke au. in a last ditch attempt to escape his father, neil trades his voice and his tail for legs and washes ashore on a small kingdom with horrible secrets. because he cannot speak, read or write, prince aaron employs neil to serve the monster in the catacombs, the prince's twin brother. the twins are under a curse that turns them into terrifying monsters, andrew by day and aaron by night. aaron's affliction is a secret, as is andrew's humanity. this is such a hodgepodge idea lol. did neil also have to be a mermaid for this to work? no. is he? hell yeah

- new york private school/twin swap au. aaron wins a scholarship to a prestigious school that will guarantee him a future, but then he relapses. convinced he just needs a little more time to get clean, he makes a deal with his volatile new brother, andrew, to stand in for him at the school just until he can his shit together. neil and ichirou moriyama have been raised together their entire lives, always under the knowledge that ichirou will inherit the family empire with nathaniel as his right hand. they hate the idea, but they have no way to escape, and now neil is being harassed by ichirou's bitchass estranged brother at their stupid, fancy private school. LISTEN, we as a fandom do NOT take enough advantage of the twin swap possibilities presented to us. pathetic

- post-canon fic where ichirou, realizing that the life of a mob boss is a lonely one, decides that he needs... a friend. however, because of the nature of his work, he can't just make friends with anyone, so he decides to make friends with neil. without consulting neil first. cue a lot of very weird, very awkward coffee dates where neil is convinced he's about to be disposed of, and ichirou just wants to know about his cats. the thing i like about ichirou is he’s a complete blank slate. i can make him a good guy, a bad guy, an ally, the Big Bad

- Kill Bill au. mary survives a bullet to the head and wakes up from a coma over a year later. with nothing left to lose, she sets out to single-handedly dismantle the wesninski circle. good thing she used to be its top assassin

- single dad andrew au. except look, look, stay with me here, okay, aaron is his son, and he's adopted nicky and kevin. LISTEN. STAY WITH ME. JUST THINK ABOUT IT. tbh the idea comes from my interpretation of the andrew/neil/kevin dynamic as distincly parental, then extending that interpretation to andrew's protection over the rest of his family.

- fashion au. andrew is a fashion designer and photographer who frequently works with allison reynolds. one day she brings around a short, twitchy assistant who looks like she just plucked him out of an alley. somehow, he becomes andrew's muse. i watch a lot of fashion competition shows

- ghibli. either howl's moving castle (andrew as sophie, neil as howl) or spirited away (?). maybe both idk

- legally blonde au. legally blonde is so good guys

[rose-of-the-court-blog]

A Little Bit of Gay History

Inspired by this hilarious post: x

I took some (a lot) of liberties with this, especially with the beginning, but I hope no one minds! This is my first fic for the aftg series, so hopefully the characters aren’t too ooc :’) 

By the way, I don’t necessarily like writing Kevin as a constant drunk. So this is a one-time dealio. My next fic will be ab him overcoming his dependency on drinking <3 I love Kevin Day y’all

Neil Josten was used to nights out in Columbia. He enjoyed the drive, the house, and the time spend with the Monsters, his family. It was a time where all five of them could relax (sort of). Neil had gone with the Monsters a dozen nights and expected the same order of events to happen each time: drive, Eden’s Twilight, dragging Nicky, Aaron, and Kevin’s drunk asses home, then properly relax at the house. What he wasn’t expecting tonight, however, was a drunk ass Kevin practically clinging to Neil by the end of the night.

Earlier in the evening, Kevin and Aaron had done competitive shots and did so many they lost count and couldn’t tell who won. Next, Kevin joined Nicky at the bar to try out some of Roland’s new mixes. Then Kevin shared a quiet drink with Andrew after he’d been dancing. It was around this time that Neil noticed that Kevin’s green eyes had gone a bit hazy and his stance a but wobbly.

Andrew had silently gotten up, which meant Neil and Kevin did too, but he motioned for them to stay. Neil figured he was either going to the bathroom or going to find his wayward twin and cousin. Normally, Neil was fine with being alone with Kevin. Tonight, however, has turned out to be a different story and had Neil fervently wishing Andrew to make a hasty return.

“Neil, I need you to listen” demanded Kevin. “Listen!”

Kevin grabbed Neil’s shirt and shook him a little, as if he could make Neil magically listen to his profound insights by force. He’d been trying to gain Neil’s attention for the five minutes. Even though Neil was with him and listening to his rambling the entire goddamn time. 

Neil closed his eyes. He had a headache.

“Do you understand? Neil, do you understand anything at all?”

Kevin may be family, but that didn’t mean Neil didn’t want to sock him right in the throat.

Neil took a deep breath. “No, Kevin, I don’t understand. I don’t understand anything of what you’re saying. Do you know why? Because you have yet to get to the fucking point you useless vodka-fucking bastard.”

“You can’t fuck vodka.”

“You’re right. It’s a talent only you’ve personally achieved. Congrats”

“How would that even work? Vodka is a liquid-- wait. Lubricant.”

Neil couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He could do nothing but stare as Kevin drunkenly pulled out his phone to google it, almost dropping his phone three times in the process. Neil wanted Andrew to hurry back more than ever.

Andrew.

The very thought of Andrew, Aaron, and Nicky coming back to Kevin spouting nonsense about using vodka for motherfucking lube was enough to make Neil desperate. He didn’t want to think of the consequences of Kevin and Nicky bonding over hypothetical alcohol-based lubricants. No. Just...no.

Reaching up on his tiptoes, and hating himself and Kevin all the more for it, he made a desperate grab for the phone. “No. Shit, no. Hold still. Kevin don’t you dare--”

“Apparently,” Kevin loudly began, easily evading Neil’s grabby hands thanks to his gigantic asshole height. “vodka as a lubricant would be very unpleasant thanks to the acidic properties. What a shame.”

Neil grabbed Kevin’s arm, yanked it down, and then used Kevin’s newly healed hand to slap Kevin in the face with it.

“Stop that,” Kevin hissed. He yanked his arm back, harshly, from Neil’s grip and overbalanced, falling back into the wall with a thud. Kevin blinked. Then slowly began sliding down the wall to the floor in all his drunken glory.

Neil wasn’t impressed. “You deserved it.”

Kevin’s eyes were still hazy, but he managed to scowl all the same. “If anyone deserves to be smacked it’s you. You haven’t been listening this entire time.”

“That’s because you never got to the actual point. You’ve just been talking nonsense at me this entire time.”

“Nonsense?!” Kevin spluttered. “the gay history of the world isn’t nonsense!”

What.

“What?”

Kevin scoffed. “You never listen.”

Neil was two seconds away from committing murder. Family be damned.

When Kevin opened his mouth to speak again, Neil was quick to interrupt him. “You can tell me all about your history stuff later, but right now Andrew is coming back and we need to start heading back to the tower.” That last part was a lie, but Kevin didn’t need to know that.

“The junkie is right. Get up, time to go.”

Neil startled so badly that he nearly toppled over and landed on Kevin. A hand shot out and grabbed Neil’s bicep and pulled him back abruptly. He turned and gave Andrew a grateful look, who squeezed his bicep gently before releasing him. 

“Jeez, Neil, be careful!” Nicky laughed, arriving out of nowhere to Neil’s right. Seems like Neil was correct in assuming Andrew went to look for his family. When Neil turned back around he saw Aaron lifting Kevin up and putting one of his arms around his shoulders. Privately, Neil thought they looked ridiculous with two drunk-out-of-their-mind men leaning on each other, with one being pint sized and the other a giraffe with a queen tattoo, but wisely chose not to say anything.

Wymack would be so proud.

Andrew turned, having established that Aaron could handle Kevin, and led them all through the exit to the Maserati. To home. 

Neil had all but nearly forgotten the Incident That Shall Not Be Named by the time Monday rolled around. Andrew had perfectly distracted him all weekend, with witty remarks and truths and kisses, that Neil didn’t really give Kevin’s odd ramblings a second thought. 

Andrew had subtly asked him what Kevin was on about when he’d arrived, but Neil had been stubbornly silent on the matter. Neil wasn’t going to be repeating any of what he heard to Andrew. He didn’t want to relapse into another headache.

Now, though, Neil was coming back from his morning jog. The day was starting off nicely. He’d woken up, limbs entangled with Andrew from their chests to their toes, the closest they’d ever held each other. A morning kiss (and the subsequent complaint that Andrew would never allow this again because morning breath wasn’t worth it. Neil knew better though). Being allowed to wear Andrew’s favorite hoodie while out on his jog. The crisp, cool morning air--

Ping!

Neil stopped. It took a moment, but then he remembered the iphone Allison had bought him. He rarely used it, but he knew the sound the his email notification going off. It was frustrating how every little sound the device made gave Neil small bouts of fright. Ridiculous. 

Scowling, Neil pulled the damn phone from his lower pocket in his cargo shorts (jorts forever banned by the Foxes’ collective effort -- even Aaron’s). Pulling up the email, however, Neil quickly became confused. Why was Kevin e-mailing him?

To: Neil Josten

From: Kevin Day

Subject: The Affair of Radu III and Mehmed

Surely, this was a mistake? After all, Neil distinctly remembered Kevin rambling on about a paper he was doing on a man named Radu III. Neil hadn’t paid much more attention beyond that detail because it was about history and honestly? Fuck that.

But why was the subject titled “The Affair of Radu III and Mehmed” then? What kind of history essay was this?

What the fuck, Neil thought. What. The. Fuck.

...

Neil clicked it.

“DELETE IT!” Kevin roared. “NEIL, I’LL MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL IF YOU DON’T DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW!”  

With a shit-eating grin, Neil dodged Kevin’s tackle and made a break for it.

“NEIL!”

Everyone was staring at them. 

Neil didn’t dwell on this. There was no point. In the matters of life and death there was only you and the mean of survival. For Neil, that meant getting to the other side of the court and into the goalies post as fast as possible.  

A jump over some fallen exy balls, running in zig zags through his teammates, a mad dash to the goal-- 

“Andrew!” Neil called, breathless, coming closer to him. Andrew was there, watching the entire chaos unfold, and making no effort to help him. Neil slowed down.

A fatal mistake.

A hard body collided with him, tumbling them both down to the court, with Neil face-planting right at Andrew’s feet.

“Got you, you shitty little gremlin.” Kevin spoke menacingly in French.

One moment Neil was wheezing and gasping for air, and in the next, the body was suddenly off of him. Neil took the opportunity to turn on his back.

Andrew had grabbed Kevin and lifted him off Neil and was now leveling a severe gaze at him. For once, Kevin ignored the threat Andrew posed in favor of the one Neil had.

Neil slowly grinned up at him, and responded in French. “Gay history, huh?”

Kevin made to lunge at him again but Andrew put his arm out and stopped it. 

“What the hell is going on?” Dan demanded. 

“Kevin and Neil both messing around during practice?” Allison peered down at them, haughty, but curious. “I have to know what’s going on. Come on, tell us the drama.” 

Renee put a placating hand on Allison’s arm and put herself in the middle between the three around the goal and the rest of the foxes. Her smile was kind but her voice was firm. “Their business is their business. You all should know that by now.”

“We know that,” Matt protested, who was looking very bewildered right now. It’d be comical if only Neil weren’t facing Death By Not-So-Heterosexual-Kevin right about now. “But come on! We can’t help being curious. Exy is like their life blood, they never do this.”

“Some things are more important than exy,” Kevin gritted out. A shocked silence filled the court.

“Holy shit.” someone whispered. Neil was too focused on Kevin’s deepening scowl to investigate.

“Do you think this has anything to do with what Kevin was talking about at Eden’s?” Nicky loudly whispered to Aaron, who shrugged. 

“What happened at Eden’s?” asked Allison. 

“Nothing,” stressed Kevin.

“Nothing, huh?” Neil snorted. 

“You stay quiet.”

Neil opened his mouth to tell Kevin to fuck off but just as he was doing so Wymack burst in.

“What the actual fuck is going on here? Dan, Kevin, Neil, explain. Right now.”

Before Dan or Kevin could speak, Neil took his chance. “Kevin accidentally sent me his history essay this morning instead of his teacher. It was a 7 page analysis on the gay relationship between Mehmed and Rabu III, the brother of Vlad the Impaler, and how historians continuously overlook their affair due to heteronormativity.”

“Excuse me,” Nicky cut in. “What.”

Neil shrugged and waved his harm towards Kevin dramatically. “Not-so-heterosexual-Kevin is real.”

Kevin narrowed his eyes at him. “I never said I was heterosexual. Just that is was easier.”

“So, like, you’re what? Are you bi?” Allison asked. 

“Smooth.” 

“Hush, Dan. I need answers.”

“Same,” Nicky agreed.

Kevin rolled his eyes. “Me being bisexual has nothing to do with the game. Leave it alone and get back to practice. A year later and I’m still disappointed in your subpar playing.”

“Hey now, you can’t just write an entire essay on the gay affairs of royalty figures, drop that bisexual bomb, and then tell us to drop it!”

“I can, and I will, Nicky.”

“And I don’t have enough whiskey for all this,” Wymack said. He had his hand covering his face as if that’d protect him from the stupidity he was surrounded by.

Suddenly, Nicky grinned. “Dark Kevin, tell us all how gay history really is.”

Kevin sighed. He looked to the ceiling as if the heavens could save him and then closed his eyes. “Everything. Everything is fucking gay.”