#that it’s hypocritical but he’s got to help this kid. so he and Jeremy help each other to overcome their addictions

[centaur-dreaming]

Aftg Hunger Games au with Jean as Katniss because in the end Elodie dies anyway

[authenticcadence18]

For the sending you a character thing could you maybe do Candace Flynn please? :)

Hi anon! And of COURSE!!

Favorite thing about them: I love how relatable she is! Candace being overwhelmed with life and feeling stuck/discouraged and frustrated is just, a big ‘ol mood, especially as I’ve gotten older. “The Universe is Against Me” is very therapeutic to sing for those reasons! I also love the moments when she is genuinely a kind older sister, like in “Dude We’re Getting the Band Back Together” or the end of “Summer Belongs To You.” I also love her friendship with Isabella (especially in the later seasons), it’s just really sweet! Candace helping Isabella out with her crush on Phineas (or just reacting to it in a deadpan way) is so so soooo so great! (Basically big sister Candace. Yes.) Candace is also just, SO FUNNY. Both with her dialogue and physical comedy. She’s a great character. (On a personal note, I also relate to her struggle with not wanting to drive right away! I was the same way, and thinking about Candace made me feel better about my own struggles!) Also her SINGING. YES. I love Ashley Tisdale. ...Ok, now that I’ve said lots of nice things about Candace...onto the next question😅

least favorite thing about them: sometimes Candace is just, very unkind. Like, I KNOW she has her own struggles and I’d never want to invalidate those.....but she is just so MEAN to Phineas and Ferb sometimes for no real reason (particularly in earlier episodes). Like, in the Christmas special for instance, she continuously laughs off Phineas and Ferb’s desire to write letters to Santa (but then USES this idea in a scheme to figure out what gift Jeremy wants, so it’s hypocritical on her part) (EDIT: i wouldn’t change the “letters to Santa??” bit, btw, it’s pretty funny!! but it illustrates my point) and THEN puts the thought in Phineas’s head that he might be the reason all of Danville was deemed naughty, which DEVASTATES him. I think the saddest part is that, 95% of the time, Phineas and Ferb are nothing but kind to her. It makes her occasional spitefulness towards them seem so JARRING. (And again I KNOW she struggles with her own issues and feeling inferior, CATU especially made that apparent, and I get it! But that doesn’t make it okay for her to be mean to her brothers, you know?). Also scenes where she says something nice to Jeremy and then rude to her brothers...idk, it just rubs me the wrong way. (I also dislike it STRONGLY when she is condescending to Isabella. I think this only happens, like, twice...but Isabella is my fave so I’ll never forget, LOL)

Favorite line: oh MAN how do I CHOOSE??? She’s got so many iconic lines. Maybeeee: “It’s SO not fair! I mean why am I still on sock detail when Gladys from accounting got promoted to commander and she doesn’t even know hold to hold a blaster!!! No I mean, really, she failed that part of the exam three times, she held it backwards AND upside down but she’s a second cousin to some mid-level darth and so SHE gets the promotion?? What about ME??? If they would just open their eyes, they’d see that I’ve got everything it takes, I COULD BE THE STORMIEST STORM TROOPER EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!” Oh i also like (in reference to lumpy tables) “it’s the new hip-thing, it’s so European!!!” And also “Though I’ve often thought of you as just a nuisance and a bother, today I can’t imagine havin’ better little brothers!”

BrOTP: Candace and Stacy, 100%!! I love them and their friendship SO much, it really feels genuine (especially as their characters develop more). Their subplot in “Canderemy” is one of my favorite Candace plot lines in the show, it’s so funny and so sweet at the end (and a welcome distraction from a certain OTHER subplot in that episode.....yes I’m still mad about the ending🙃)

OTP: CANDEREMY! I’ll be honest, when I was younger, Canderemy kind of annoyed me because Phinabella was my fave and I always got mad when Candace had better luck with love than Isabella (because Candace was mean and Isabella wasn’t and I identified with Isabella and like, I’m just trying to give y’all a picture of younger me😂). But now that Phinabella is canon and I’ve gotten older, I really, REALLY appreciate Candace and Jeremy. Candace doesn’t have to act a certain way for Jeremy to like her: he likes her just the way she is and actively DISCOURAGES her from changing her identity just to appeal to him more. That’s so refreshing and wonderful to see in media aimed at kids/teens. I love that, for the majority of the show, they’re either “talking” or in a relationship and it’s just, a healthy relationship! No multi-episode arcs about them breaking up, no love triangles, no petty arguments (sometimes the show leans into these tropes for an episode, but that’s it. And it’s always resolved). They genuinely care about one another, and I think it’s really sweet. (Plus a Canderemy wedding is RIFE with possibility for pre-relationship Phinabella moments👀)

nOTP: I don’t have any specific nOTPS for Candace, so I’ll just say I’m fine with any ship between her and someone her age (that she isn’t related to, obviously. AND THAT GOES FOR ALL MY SHIPS. I don’t want to say that on every one of these character posts so like, just know. That is where i stand.)

Random headcanon: Candace and Jeremy adopted Fred. I just think it’s a sweet headcanon 🥺. Alsooooo ok this doesn’t specifically revolve around Candace, but when she and Jeremy got married, Isabella and Phineas were both a part of the wedding party and Candace made SURE they were paired together to walk down the isle💕. And Candace continues collecting Ducky Momo memerobilia well into adulthood!

Unpopular opinion: Candace isn’t a terrible, irredeemable character.....but she’s not a purely amazing character who can do no wrong either. I feel like some fans either despise her fully or love everything about her. I’m in the middle. I see her as a flawed character who was written by numerous people and thus is somewhat inconsistent in her characterization. I like it when she is characterized as kindhearted but easily overwhelmed and longing for validation, so that is how I choose to portray her in my own writing/headcanons.

Song I associate with them: look Candace sings so many FANTASTIC songs in the show that I can’t associate her with any other music. Like I guess Ashley Tisdale’s “Kiss the Girl” because there’s fics of her singing that to Phineas and Isabella and I think that’s adorable? (I know I wrote one of those waaaaaaay back in the day, LOL). But in general, every Candace song is great. “The Universe is Against Me” ESPECIALLY.

favorite picture of them: you know what Y’ALL GET FOUR PICTURES BECAUSE BIG SISTER CANDACE IS THE BEST OK

Thank you so much, anon! As you can see, I’ve got quite a few thoughts on Candace😅. At the end of the day, I think she’s a great character and I relate to her a lot! I had a ton of fun writing all these answers out.

This is the last ask I’m going to answer tonight, but I’m looking forward to answering more tomorrow!!!! 😁

[mattyfm]

new york’s very own matthew oliver was spotted on broadway street in converse . your resemblance to luke hemmings is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-fourth birthday bash . while living in nyc ,  you’ve been labeled as being temperamental , but also benevolent . i guess being a gemini explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be bubbly laughter, the smell of fresh coffee, & long drives to watch the sunset  .  ( cis male & he/him  )  +  ( monique , 20 , she/her , pst . )

my name is monique i’m both the baddest and saddest bitch you’ll ever meet and i have NEVER written a concise intro in my life, so be prepared for a lot of jumping around, incomplete thoughts, and information you didn’t ask for. without further ado let me introduce you to my angel boy matthew oliver.

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐬

full name. samuel matthew oliver.

nicknames. sam, sammy, matt, & matty (preferred name and most commonly refereed to as).

age. twenty-four.

date of birth. june 17th.

occupation. actor. (i might give him another job eventually but don’t hold me to that)

sexual / romantic orientation. bisexual & biromantic.

birthplace. asbury park, new jersey.

zodiac. gemini.

spoken languages. english.

𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲

samuel mattew oliver was born to two extremely loving parents jeremy and elizabeth marie oliver, arguably one of the most influential celebrity couples known to man, at least that’s what it felt like growing up in the household, everyone was talking about the oliver’s and when they weren’t...well that never happened

as a middle child, preceded by his older brother mason, and succeeded by his younger sister cassandra, naturally he was born with a crave for validation, anything that separated him for his siblings

but naturally in his need to be different he found his closest allies, more so mason than cassie, but eventually she grew on him, and was most certainly not forced upon the dynamic duo of brother by their parents, but believe me he grew to adore her!

childhood was seemingly normal minus the bombarding questions from nosy students who wanted to know what it was like to have celebrity parents or be rich or live in a house with more bedrooms than necessary 

unlike his siblings however matty reveled in the attention way more than he let on, it was nice to be noticed for something, even if it wasn’t quite what he’d been hoping to be noticed for

but by no means was he stupid! he wouldn’t allow anyone to take advantage of him and had an unusual talent for knowing when people only wanted to use his friendship as some sort of gain for himself, and extended this talent to his sister cass, because boy oh boy did she need it

their dad who i forgot to mention was a professor at juiliard, his alma matter, caused a constant bouncing back and forth between their coastal home in new jersey and their urban townhouse in new york

both places felt like home to the trio! they made so many good memories, however matty was extremely preferential to the coast, and to this day maintains a beach boy vibe, swears everything is just better by the beach

going back to his upbringing for a minute high school rolled around for him and mason and he just became even more extremely protective of cassie, he went through things extremely unknown to his family

on the outside he was the model person and student, honor roll, a long glowing list of extracurriculars including sports, even holding down a normal job like everyone else at his high school, and not a single blemish in his criminal record, the squeaky clean olivers remained squeaky cleans

HOWEVER there was some shady stuff going on behind the scenes my guy, nothing too terrible, just the usual teenager with loving parents who raise a troubled teen, not because of any past trauma but a need to feel seen

DRUGS & ALCOHOL TW got into a lot of fight but always told them they had to fight after school, he got into drugs, nothing too hardcore, just weed (is that a weed i’m calling the police vibes).....at first.....but that’s a different story so moving on! he of course drank with his buddies at high school parties, honestly just vibing my guys, just straight vibes always

secret!!!!

CAR ACCIDENT TW & ALCOHOL TW & DEATH TW one day he’s vibing, it’s the summer they’re celebrating another school year complete, and by the end of the night nearly black out drunk at this point, he knows he can’t go home so he decides to get a ride home with a buddy he worked with, tell his parents that said buddy took him home after work, they worked on homework and fell asleep. and honestly had he had a little less to drink, he would’ve realized that his friend was just as drunk as he was, but they drove anyways. this lead to a drunken car accident, that ended in the death of a pedestrian. thankfully his friend’s dad was a lawyer, and they covered that shit up immediately.

after this whole ordeal choose an accelerated course of study to pursue his acting career, finally something people would talk about that would be solely his, like not really, but let him have his moment alright, he was desperate 

lowkey feels guilty about being a hypocrite towards cassie because he’s telling her not to do any of the thing 

ADDICTION TW he almost kicked his habit but getting back into acting and the guilt of having blood on his hands, was too much for matty, and he developed a drug / alcohol dependency, which he recognized was extremely harmful! he went to rehab! and has been very vocal about his struggle with addiction ever since

had an on set romance with a costar that crashed and burned, quite publicly, and was just not good for his mental health one bit! def didn’t help with his constantly teetering sobriety but he managed to get through it with the help of his family and his friends

acting wise he’s starred in a bunch of movies but his baby is the netflix show that he’s been working on, i would like to think it’s kind of a sitcom esque show mixed with the same comedic timing of the office, parks n rec, those kinda self-aware humor vibes

ADDICTION TW he plays one of the main character, and his dipped his toes into directing and writing a couple of episodes, the show truly gives me one day at a time vibes, just brings light to mental health, addiction, important issues you don’t normally see portrayed on tv, and he def plays schneider, the bumbling rich boy who does and says what he’s told, struggles with addiction, has a super childish nature, and just a hint of self-awareness but just a hint as a little treat

this is so ooc but i’m realizing he’s quite literally schneider from one day at a time

MENTAL HEALTH TW & ANXIETY TW has receded from that cool kid persona he once held back in what i refer to as his ‘glory days’ and is now extremely vulnerable to everything and everyone, will literally cry if you even look at him the wrong way. struggles with really bad anxiety, among other mental health issues (which is why his netflix show and he advocate so heavily for mental health!) but is quite literally one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet, softness runs in the oliver family ig.

IS LITERALLY SO CHILDISH....where was once extremely mature for his age....he now copes with his trauma by just acting like a toddler, literally mixes chocolate milk IN HIS MOUTH like a heathen, but that still doesn’t stop him from being fiercely protective of cassie, and will fight anyone for her

currently vibing! filming, being his best(?) self, and making trips to the nj coast

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲

positive traits. accommodating, adaptable, affable, affectionate, agreeable, altruistic, amiable, attentive, caring, cheerful, communicative, compassionate, considerate, courteous, creative, dependable, easy-going, empathetic, exuberant, friendly, fun-loving, generous, gentle, genuine, gregarious, helpful, honest, humane, humble, joyful, kind, lively, loyal, loving, optimistic, outgoing, passionate, playful, reliable, resilient, romantic, sincere, sociable, tender, trustworthy, thoughtful, understanding, and warm-hearted.

negative traits. anxious, amenable, avoidant, awkward, critical, defensive, disorganized, dogmatic, (over)emotional, evasive, foolish, forgetful, forgiving, gullible, headstrong, hopeless, idealistic, impatient, impulsive, irrational, messy, moody, oblivious, (over)protective, sensitive, shy, thoughtless, and weak-willed.

𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

here’s some basic plot ideas but we can always brainstorm smth! friends, frenemies, enemies, friends to lovers, childhood friends, ex best friend, costars, unrequited crush, bad influence, exes, one night stand, roommates! i have

[vagrantblvrd]

Ramwood?

The one where Geoff is an ~up and coming photojournalist or what have you.

Not exactly gung-ho so much as done with everyone’s shit and he’s not as careful about things as he should be, given the kind of place he lives? (Starts out in Liberty City and all the wrong kind of people to make enemies of.)

Somehow he runs into Burnie who is so goddamned amused by this asshole, right?

Smartass who doesn’t care whose toes he steps all over with his pieces  -and they’re all about the corruption and whatnot in the city and how it affects people there. Incredibly smart and also super goddamn stupid at the same time.

Has this reputation that has the news outlets and whatever else leery of hiring him on, so he’s freelance with a site/blog on the side that gains traction over time. Gets him this loyal following who trust him not to lie to them or obfuscate and such and gets by well enough for himself.

(Laments the fact no one will hire him on because what the hell? And Burnie laughing at him and telling him people in LC are afraid of someone like Geoff, honest men and all that in a city like that? Yeah, no.)

Knows he’s a hypocrite for being BFFs with Burnie and his people, but they’re the best of a bad lot or however you want to put it. The Roosters well-known for what they do, who they are and all that.

Burnie and his people keep an eye on Geoff who’s more interested in exposing the assholes who lie to the world about who they are – corrupt officials and businessmen and all that and has no reason to go after the Roosters, right? (Assholes, sure, but they’re upfront about it. And also this component to them that’s vaguely Robin Hood-ish in some ways. Sure as hell don’t try to bankrupt the little guy out of greed or petty vindictiveness and so on.)

Anyway, anyway, Geoff finally kicks over the wrong anthill and makes the wrong kind of enemy that has someone trying to kill him. Burnie and his people intervening and suggesting – gently – that Geoff maybe go elsewhere until things cool down in LC?

Mentions Los Santos that has Geoff laughing himself sick because it’s like Burnie wants him dead no matter what he says, but Burnie just rolls his eyes and arranges things to get Geoff the fuck out of his city.

He gives Geoff the name of one of his people out in Los Santos, this idiot of a kid who headed out there are few months before. Hacker/thief/pain in Burnie’s ass all the way from England.

Stupid as fuck and hey, maybe check in on him from time to time to make sure he hasn’t gotten himself killed?

And that’s how Geoff meets Gavin, right?

Gets the door slammed in his face when he goes to check on him the first time like he promised Burnie, at least until he tells Gavin Burnie sent him and then it’s.

Goddamn it’s annoying as hell.

Gavin being a little shit who eyes Geoff like he’s an idiot when he realizes who he is. Of course Burnie’s mentioned Geoff, who does he think dug up all the dirt the Roosters have on Geoff?? He just didn’t recognize him without that stupid mustache of his.

Also, the bruises and such don’t help. (Attempted murder will do that to you, though.)

Geoff’s got this shitty place to stay, and Gavin’s isn’t that much of a step up?

BUT.

Gavin’s got all this security Geoff’s place doesn’t and a better view and Gavin gives up on trying to get Geoff out of his place after a while. (Figures Burnie wouldn’t be best pleased if Geoff gets himself killed a week into his move to LS and this way he can send Burnie updates on Geoff with less work on his part.)

And then Geoff starts getting to know his new city, right?

Finds out all these interesting things that make it into his articles/blog posts and he’s smarter about it, but feathers still get ruffled.

And then!

Geoff’s been out of town digging up leads on a story hes working on and goes back to his own place for once and comes across some asshole who broke in while he was gone?

Geoff’s tired as hell and not in the mood to give any fucks and realizes the guy’s either there to rob him or kill him, because of course.

“Hey, quick question,” Geoff says, because someone trying to kill him isn’t a new experience by now, just.

Y’know.

Wow, okay.

Wow.

The guy with the gun stops talking in the middle of his little monologue or whatever he was doing (something, something, blah, blah blah?) and stares at Geoff.

At least, Geoff assumes the guy’s staring at him. (The mask makes it a bit hard to tell for sure.)

“What the hell is up with the mask?”

Dramatic bastard in a dumb jacket and fucking Halloween mask like the shop on Vespucci sells, you know?

Poor Ryan – because of course it’s Ryan – is just. Offended because one, does this asshole know who he is? And two, the mask is a Choice. (Unironic one at that.)Anyway.

Ryan’s not there to kill him so much as check on Geoff as a favor to Gavin?

Gavin had to run to Liberty City as a favor to Burnie and called in a favor of his own with Ryan.

All this backstory between the two of them since Gavin got to Los Santos Geoff never gets the full story about?

At most he gets snippets here and there, all, “Oh, yeah, someone hired him to kill me, and “Bastard shot me,” and “Jesus Christ, Gavin, would you give it a rest? I said I was sorry.”

Geoff is rightly Concerned about all of that and doesn’t know what happened or how much to tell Burnie because where would he even fucking start?

Also? It’s pretty clear whatever happened in the handful of months Gavin was in Los Santos before Geoff got to town that Gavin and Ryan are totes BFFs in the most alarming way?

Yelling about a fucking coin for whatever reason and Ryan threatening to murder Gavin over everything that would have any sane person running for their damned lives but Gavin is just :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD about it while Ryan is *SIGH*.

They’re confusing as hell, is the thing.

Also, Ryan takes to hanging out at Gavin’s place all goddamned time too when he’s in the city.

Casually mentions this asshole or that one putting a price on Geoff’s head and maybe avoid dark alleys until Ryan can “take care of it” and so on?

Geoff being “Jesus Christ,” because never has he heard someone be so creepy/menacing in such an offhanded/nonchalant manner?

But true to Ryan’s word, whoever is trying to kill Geoff that week kind of…doesn’t? (Geoff doesn’t know how Ryan “takes care of it” and is smart enough not to ask.)

And after a few close calls – Ryan can’t be there all the time and shit gets past him no matter how good he is – he drags Geoff to a shooting range. Puts a gun in his hands, arms crossed and tells him to show him what he can do.

Because, look.

Geoff was in the military and while he’s got no love for guns these days there have been enough people after his head he should maybe rethink that?

Geoff just looks at Ryan like >:( and deliberately misses the target all “Oh, no,” woes is him guess he’s a lost cause and maybe they can get the fuck out of there?

But no.

No.

Burnie likes Geoff for some godforsaken reason. Gavin likes him.

Ryan…tolerates him.

The last thing he wants is for Geoff to get his dumb idiot self killed because he’s stubborn as hell.

So.

They stay at the range for hours until Geoff gets tired of it and actually bothers to aim? And okay, yeah. Not a marksman like Gavin or anything – and Geoff would like to be surprised about that bit of information, but he’s not, really, given some of the stuff Gavin and Ryan have let slip in passing – but he’s not the worst shot Ryan’s seen.

Still.

“Target practice,” Ryan says, and it sounds like a threat, which of course it does because Ryan and they end up with these regular ~dates at the shooting range until Ryan’s satisfied he won’t shoot himself in the foot or something.

And then!

Gavin drags him down to this community gym – rundown neighborhood and awful color choices for the décor when they get inside? Who the fuck puts orange and purple together anyway?

But, okay, but.

Geoff is fascinated at how awkward Gavin is once they get there? This little asshole dragging Geoff out of bed as ass o’clock in the morning and not taking ‘no’ for an answer and surprisingly strong grip.

In all the time Geoff’s known him Gavin’s been fairly confident as a whole, you know? Total asshole but one who knows his shit and everything, but the moment they get inside the gym and this guy comes over to greet them, he gets flustered.

And, oh, does Geoff ever take notice of that, like he takes notice of the way the guy’s face lit up when he spotted Gavin. (INTERESTING.)

Geoff watches the two of them fail-flirt for a while until some asshole comes into the gym and yelling about something? Sounds annoyed as hell and super assholish?

Geoff’s expecting it to be trouble – an annoyed client or customer or whatever. Expects this Jeremy kid to have to soothe some douchebag’s ego or boot him out of the gym for being a douchebag, but no.

Because Jeremy and Gavin seem super delighted at this asshole who walks over, some kid with this scowl on his face ranting about something Geoff’s not really paying attention to and that’s how Geoff meets Jeremy and Michael.

Finds out Gavin dragged him all the way down to the gym Jeremy owns/runs and Michael sometimes helps out with – lot of local kids go there to stay off the streets and fuck knows Jeremy’s an idiot who needs all the help he can get, right?

Anyway, anyway, Gavin dragged him down there to get the two of them to knock him around a bit on the mats. (Oh, sure. It’s supposed to be for self-defense or whatever bullshit they tell him? But really, it’s Gavin being passive-aggressive about Geoff drinking his good coffee or spilling his loose tea the other day or something. Definitely not the asshole being worried about him and trying to keep him safe or anything, God no.)

Whatever it’s almost worst the bruises and sore muscles to watch Gavin and Jeremy completely fail to notice they’re super into one another. (OR that Michael’s waiting for the two of them to get their shit together because it’s pretty clear they’re also into him, and he’s stupid enough to like them back and Jesus Christ, Geoff, you have no fucking idea okay. NONE.)

And like.

Geoff being introduced to all these assholes and their asshole friends and realizing he’s got more contacts/friends in Los Santos on the wrong side of the law than ever before and Burnie laughing at him when he tells him so during one of their phone calls, because fuck Geoff’s life.

(Not like it matters in a city like Los Santos anyway, but. Still reason for some level of concern. Or something. Whatever.)

The thing where someone really wants Geoff dead and there are Dramatic life and death moments in which he gets a little shot/stabbed and so does Ryan.

They have That Moment where they’re looking one another in the eye and are like, fuck because they have FEELINGS for one another and also have been dating for some time down without realizing it?

And then Gavin and the others have to rescue them – which, talk about embarrassing – and also :O because those little shits had a fucking betting pool on how long it would take Geoff and Ryan to realize they’re an old married couple at this point.

(Michael being ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  about it when Geoff and Ryan give him these LOOKS because talk about pots and kettles, assholes, but hey. Not his fault he had the bad luck to fall in love with a pair of oblivious assholes, and also do they want in on that betting pool or not?)

Whatever, Geoff’s life sucks anyway.

He’s still out there writing his news stories exposing assholes who deserve it because of course he is, but he’s got standing ~dates with the fucking Vagabond at the shooting range several times a week on top of that.

(And if they stop off for dinner or a movie on the way or head out to Del Perro Pier or somewhere else other nights, that’s no one’s business but their own, and also shut up about it.)

Gavin drags him to Jeremy’s gym where he gets beat up o the regular by those assholes – sometimes they bring in some of Jeremy and Michael’s kids who are the real hard-hitters down there and Jesus, his fucking shins.

Somewhere along the line Jack gets sent to Los Santos – Burnie’s concerned about Geoff, he really is, what with all these assholes bullying him around - and also, maybe, some Rooster-related business going on out there he wants someone capable to run.

And then Lindsay and Trevor and all the others and Geoff gives up pretending his life is in any way normal, especially when he gets his own place after a while.

His lease on his old place ran out and he can’t stay in Gavin’s spare room forever, you know?

He is a little surprised when he realizes Ryan moved in to his new place at some point, though.

Like.

“Hey, quick question,” Geoff says, because he’s actually okay with the fact he’s totally lost control of his life since coming to Los Santos. “When did that happen?”

(Okay, so that happened before all that, but let him have this, okay? Please.)

Ryan rolls his eyes because Geoff’s kind of dumb, and then smooches? Because really, Geoff.

[fivenightsatfreddysfanfiction]

FNAF - Overwrite

"So how much do you know about animatronics, really?" Jeremy asked suddenly, his head tilting as he tapped a socket wrench against the palm of his hand.

The group of guards, new and old, were gathered in the workshop to figure out how to counter the myriad of animatronics that were piling up in Meera's pizzeria, taking it over and searching for children to take. The young woman had locked it up and put up signs to warn families away, claiming a gas leak to be sure no one would come near. Each guard had their group they were experts against, but there were many that had never been seen before, were complete mysteries to them.

Luckily they had someone who had come with advanced knowledge of everything the Afton Family had been doing in regards to animatronics.

Jeremy found it strange to have what was essentially a replica of the man who had caused so much death and heartache for him and so many others just standing there by the work table, doing nothing but gazing curiously down at the components that went into the Securi-Toys. But the digitized Lucian -or Digi as he preferred to be called- didn't try to do anything to him or the others, not unless he was pushed so far to the limit of his patience that he either lashed out or shut himself down.

"Hm?" Digi asked, lifting his eyes to him in confusion. "Were you... talking to me?" That was another thing Jeremy found odd, the lack of self-confidence and smugness. The face and body were the same as the cruel man in purple from long ago, but Digi's hair was shorter, one eye the bright, bright green Baby had, and his personality was far different in many ways.

Jeremy nodded and Digi shifted in place, his hard-light mode giving his blonde hair a slight bluish shimmer as he moved. "Not much beyond what the files inside me say. I can operate Circus Baby perfectly fine, I was designed for her," he said carefully. "But I don't personally know anything about the way the others work. Not the way you all do."

That... didn't seem right. Jeremy frowned, the tapping of the socket wrench pausing. "But you... original you... you were able to crack my father's security software and reprogram the Toy Animatronics in 1987," he countered. Digi's eyes narrowed slightly at him and Jeremy felt a slight chill, half expecting him to leap the table and stab at him.

"Again, I can't be held responsible for what my old self did after I was put to sleep in 1984," Digi bit out and looked away with a pout.

There goes that angle...

"But... that doesn't sound like me," Digi added on softly, a faintly uncertain expression flickering over his face.

On the nearby couch, Ven and Damien lifted their heads to look up at him in concern. Fritz blinked in mid-bite, doughnut pressed to his teeth.

"That's what happened, though," Jeremy said, gesturing to the components on the table between them. "Hired in 1985, Lucian used his night shifts to crack my father's Active Security Mode software and reprogram the Toys to become blind to him, setting up for the events of 1987. Even worked out how to manipulate the endoskeletons and hardware settings of the animatronics that didn't have the software connections yet. All so he could use them to carry out the Missing Children Murders."

Digi held his chin delicately in one hand, the pensive expression never leaving his face as he looked back at the older man. "Why would I do it that way? That wasn't my plan at all," he said in confusion. "I'm not very good at electronic stuff. Well, when I was human at least. I'm more of a chemistry buff."

"Chemistry?" Damien echoed, blinking, "What was your plan then?" Digi looked over at him, a wry and self-loathing smile on his face.

"My goal was to kill more kids than the Pink Guy, so I was going to poison the food being served to the birthday parties that were being hosted that day. That many children, and my knowledge of poisons and delivery and effects... it would have been so easy. I just needed to learn enough about animatronics to know how to fool their sensors and tracking." The blonde shrugged, as if discussing his murder plans were no big deal to him. "That's why I went to work at Afton Robotics. I was hoping to learn that there but...."

He went quiet then, a haunted look coming over him as he gripped his own arms tightly. Jeremy swallowed hard, looking away as Ven reached out to carefully place a hand over one of Digi's own.

"You weren't there long enough to learn how to hack custom-made, military grade software," he said quietly and began tapping the wrench against his palm again. "So how did you have such mastery in less than a year?"

Digi shrugged, his breathing -false breathing, Jeremy had to remind himself- uneven and a bit too rapid for comfort. "I... I don't know. But... what... what did I do? In 1987? I don't know exactly... no one told me...." The blonde shut his eyes tight, bounced a few times on the balls of his feet. "Body count, kill method... what did I do?"

"Six kids, one by poison outside, five by poison, stabbing, and asphyxiation inside," Damien returned dully. "Most of the asphyxiation and injuries were caused by stuffing the kids into the animatronics that were moved into the safe room." He smiled weakly. "Not the best way to hide bodies."

Digi looked over at him, a tight frown on his face. "Only that many? And how was the poison given? Via the food in the kitchen?" he pressed. Damien shook his head.

"You had lured the five children to the safe room, gave them poisoned treats. Some of the kids were stabbed, but mostly they suffocated because they had been shoved into one animatronic," he said and gestured aimlessly. "Marionette later moved the bodies around, one to each member of the Fazband, but Faith's spirit escaped being bound to Golden Freddy."

Digi leaned against the table, arms folded over his chest as he considered the words. Jeremy watched him for a moment before speaking up. "You had also tried to get me to come along, but I never made it, so I was spared. Mike was almost killed, but survived because of Faith's help." The blonde glanced at him, green eye glowing, then held up his hands, fingers folding as he counted silently.

"...There were two more animatronics to take Remnant," he whispered suddenly, "That's why you and Mike were targeted. The Toys weren't Afton made, or hand-crafted and primed by years of exposure to the essence of life. No point killing more than the number of animatronics that can accept Remnant."

"What the fuck is he talking about?" Mike demanded, squinting at Meera. The young woman shrugged, swallowing hard.

"I don't know. I didn't read into all the files we stole; Jeremy's got them all," she said uncertainly.

"Freddy Fazbear, Bonnie Bunny, Chica Chicken, Foxy the Pirate, Fredbear, Spring Bonnie; hand-crafted and experimental, Remnant presence detected, Remnant acceptance level 96%," Digi suddenly spoke, the glow of his green eye bright, tiny numbers scrolling across the surface. "Marionette and Balloon Boy; Afton Robotics property, Remnant ready, Remnant acceptance level 90%. Toy Freddy, Toy Bonnie, Toy Chica, Toy Foxy; Fitzgerald Security and Defense Industries property, not Remnant ready, Remnant acceptance level 5%." His hands flew up, heels pressing against his eyes as he hissed softly to himself. "I wouldn't know that, not that me. That's Afton only knowledge. But that number of deaths, one for each animatronic that can take Remnant? That's not something I would do."

"You're sayin' that the Purple Guy we dealt with didn't follow your plan for killin' kids, used a way of killin' you don't know to do, and hooked up dead kids to the fuckboys that Afton approved as bein' ready to suck up their souls?" Mike asked him in disbelief. He gestured towards Digi, "And that approval of 'em is something you wouldn't know then, but you know it now?" Digi nodded, hands still pressed to his eyes. "So then how the fuck did you know it back then, if ya knew it at all?"

"Sounds like maybe it was someone else that did the stuff in 1987," Fritz said offhandedly, rolling his eyes. Digi lowered his hands, scowling.

"But it wasn't; you all insist that it was me who did it all! You have the memories of it being me, there's pictures and news articles saying it was me!" the blonde snapped. "But all of that?! That's not how I would do it! That's not how I would act!" Fritz nibbled on another doughnut, huffing under his breath.

"So what? You think that some random guy wearing your face committed the murders that way? Isn't that what you did by making people think Vincent did it?" he asked dryly. "That's pretty hypocritical. You made people think Vincent killed a bunch of kids, but now you're saying you were set up by someone else too!"

"You're the one who said it first! The difference is that I would own up to my crimes if I committed them my way!" Digi snapped back, slamming his hand down on the table and making Jeremy jump in alarm. "I took pride in what I did, no me digas lo contrario! My actions, my name, I worked to create a pattern that would make me infamous and what my original self did in 1987 broke that pattern! That might have been my body and face but it wasn't me!"

A silence fell over the group, and slowly the blonde's expression changed from outrage to dawning horror.

"My face... my body... but not me... not in that mind...." Digi whispered and his hands went up to his mouth, color draining from his face. "Oh god... Dios mío, lo hizo... lo hizo a mí... mí cuerpo... manos en mí cuerpo... mí mente... me tocó todos partes...." Jeremy moved around the table, recognizing the distant, glassy eyes, the heavy and uneven breathing, the sudden trembling in the other man's figure. Ven got up from the sofa where he sat with Damien, and the two of them approached Digi cautiously, hands up where they could be seen.

"Digi, you're not there, you're here in my workshop. My name's Jeremy Fitzgerald; you're safe here, there's friends around you," Jeremy told him as calmly as possible. He reached out slowly, took hold of one of Digi's hands, and then placed it over his own heart, hoping that the data ghost could feel heartbeats. "Breathe to this, follow my heart."

No one else said anything; Jeremy could see Meera nearby, the young woman poised to rush forward, eyes shining with tears and worry, wanting to zip in and hug her spirit roommate but knowing the wrong motion could cause more harm. He kept his own breathing steady and calm, watching and waiting if the distance in Digi's eyes faded. The light in the bright green and silver-grey dimmed instead, darkening the further he retreated into the memories of whatever horrors were replaying in his head.

"Digi, you're not there, you're here!" Jeremy said firmly, "Digi! ...Lucian, get back here!"

The light snapped back on, full force. "That's not my designation," Digi replied softly, almost automatically. He blinked, took a shuddering and deep breath, and let his shoulders sag, gaze falling to where Jeremy had his hand clasped against the soft green of his sweater. "Lo siento... I'm sorry for causing you trouble." Jeremy shook his head.

"Don't apologize for having a panic attack. We can't control when those happen, but we have people who can help us through it. Like how Mike helps me, and I helped you," he said quietly. He pulled his hand away, giving the ghost the choice to pull away from him. Digi swallowed, drawing his own hand back and rubbing at it carefully. "Can you explain what happened? If it won't harm you more?"

"I...," Digi murmured hoarsely and shuddered. Ven took his arm and guided him back to the sofa, Damien scrambling to make room so he could sit down. Meera darted in, tucking herself beside the blonde and pulling one of his arms over herself, letting him card his fingers through her hair. Jeremy watched as tension drained out more readily from the data ghost, like just the contact with the young woman was enough to keep nightmares at bay. "When I was trapped... down there... in my own body... I remember words...." Digi began, halting and cautious, as though he couldn't trust his own voice or words. "My memory isn't very good. Afton... did things... to me." He took another shaky breath, "Things that messed up the copying of memories from body to computer. But I remember his words."

He paused again, a sickly look on his face. "Remnant... it's the essence of life, but it can give more than that. It can be a way to anchor memories, knowledge. To pass the soul from one form to another." Digi pointed at himself. "I'm an example, my Remnant pulled from my body, analyzed and digitized, then copied and modified to be Circus Baby's A.I. system." He gestured towards Faith and Jeremy looked over at his adoptive sister in alarm. "The Remnant of the murdered children... they were to be applied to the animatronics at that pizzeria. That's what made them 'haunted'. Human to machine transfer."

"But... that doesn't tell us why Lucian didn't do things the way you would," Fritz pointed out cautiously.

"Afton's words... possible human to human transfer," Digi said slowly. "If Remnant can be extracted and injected to give a machine the awareness and memories of a human... why not to another human?" He shuddered. "Threads... in my head... I could hear him but he didn't speak... 'get to use your body so much'...." Digi shook his head, turning to hug Meera tightly as he trembled.

Jeremy winced and looked to his dad for comfort. Mike's expression was troubled but he reached out to bring him in for a hug as well. Ven and Damien reached for each other, fingers interlocking and sides pressing together as Damien's eyes clouded with memories of similar words spoken to him in the past.

"There's gaps... in my memories...," Digi finished shakily, looking up at the group and forcing a stern expression in place, a mask to hide behind. "But that's enough to make a guess. The me of 1987... Afton must have done a transfer of himself... to my body... to continue his research or have more lifespan to do it. I was young, healthy... he was old, dying." His mouth trembled, the mask cracking. "I... I wanted to be remembered... to have my name live on... Afton killed me... he killed me and erased my name and everyone forgot me, the real me, and I'm not even the real me. I'm a copy, a fake!" His voice broke into soft sobs as he sought out Ven's eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I said I would erase you, Vincent! It's horrible; you don't deserve feeling this, I don't want you to ever feel this!" The blonde deflated, curling around Meera for comfort. "There's nothing of me left, it's all Afton. He wrote himself over me and I'm just a stupid copy. The Enfuego name... it's gone, and it's my fault."

The guards looked at one another, alarm and varying degrees of pity on their faces. What could they do then? How could they go up against a family that had the technology to jump from body to body, destroying minds along the way? That had even broken the one person they had thought to be their greatest enemy?

END

[luci-cunt]

The Foxes as shit me and my family has said

Nicky: *Elmo voice* I fucked my way to the top and this is what I got

Neil: Living as long as I have, you just learn that people suck. Shut up, I know I’m only 19 but did you see my teens?

Andrew: This ice cream bar is the closest thing to a religious experience I will ever have and if you don’t give me three more I will gut you

Aaron: Having bananas be both the go to object used to demonstrate the usage of a condom and also the best suture practice object is both confusing and painful if you think about it too much

Kevin: Guys I just watched a TEDtalk on the rise of the Chinese economy and it blew my mind

Matt: *terrified screaming* I am an adult!

Dan: You know that feeling when you accidentally adopt like six kids because you got invited to join a gang but when you show up you’re the oldest and so you immediately feel responsible and now have to give extremely hypocritical advice like “go to sleep on time” or “drink water” and accidentally write like five letters to the board of a school you’ll never attend to educate them on the dangers of not using trigger warnings? No, just me?

Allison: Wait, you thought I was straight? Am I a fucking joke to you? Is this custom Gucci rainbow brazier a joke to you?

Renee: I pray that god can’t hear your thoughts

Abby: I must have just been the worst in a past life, y’all someone is punishing me. Maybe I was Donald Trump

Wymack: *someones talking about cheating on finals* Meh, system’s rigged anyways, get to the top however you can. But if you get caught then I’m disowning you

Bonus-

Jean: English is like, if someone set a garbage can filled with dirty diapers on fire and then rolled it down a hill until it set an apartment building full of people from around the world and then exploded so it just had people from all over shouting things in their own languages and then there was some guy on the side writing it all down instead of helping to put out the fire.

Jeremy: You dont have to be gay to admit that Jensen Ackles is fine as fuck, it just helps

Betsy: Instead of having crushes when I was little I just had maternal rages. Like, my friends would be like “omg i want to marry him!” And I’d be like “marry? That boy can’t even emote properly, he needs a mother, has he had any water today?”

Seth: Ares is my spirit animal, I don’t care if he’s a God he’s a mood.

Riko: Being a lil bitch ass pussy is hard work yknow, I mean, I gotta fuck people up but I also can’t risk my ne’er-do-well aesthetic

Alvarez: *sobbing as she makes nachos at 2am* the lady told me to follow my heart

Laila: How long as Chel from the Road to El Dorado been such a snack? Like damn, this the shit people were talking about when they said the government is hiding shit

Erik: Just because I like the outdoors doesn’t make me a masochist!

Reporters talking about the foxes: Elmo says homicidal tendencies are not a joke

Bonus bonus-

(Tinyards):

Andrew: did you read my note?

Aaron: no your handwritings aweful what does— oh it’s “slit your” got it

[evrthefanatic]

soulmark part 2 | Elijah Mikaelson x OC

tPairings: past Tyler x Oc, past Matt x Elena

Warnings: Canon Typical Violence

Word Count: 3,873

Read on AO3, FF.net, Qoutev, Wattpad 

ACT 1 | The first day of school

Dear Diary, 

September

Surprise, surprise. I’m starting a journal. I suppose it’s more tradition for our family to journal our lives than do therapy. I’ve never been one to write my emotions, and I’d rather bury myself in music. But I’m taking Elena’s advice and starting you up. Let me introduce myself;

My name is Alyssandra Gilbert.

Elena's my twin sister, and we have a younger brother named Jeremy. So our story goes like this: three months ago our parents died in a car crash. Their car whipped over Wickery Bridge and into the water. They both died before they got brought to the hospital. Elena was with them, and she was lucky to have survived. She hasn’t been the same since, although admittedly, none of us have been. 

 I’m honestly worried about her, and my brother. I’m prepared to help out however I can. It’s the least that I could do for them. I miss mom and dad so much, but somebody needs to hold it all together. I hope Elena doesn't think that Jer and I blame her for their deaths. I can see that she blames herself.

I haven’t told Elena, but  I feel like I almost lost her too the night our parents died. We got connected (?) somehow. And by some chance, I was able to see what happened and she was able to come back to life. 

I don’t believe in divinity, but I suppose that’s as close as I can get.  

Damn.

Anyways, I hear them rattling around downstairs. I better get down if I don't wanna be late for school.

The now Gilbert-Sommers household already bristled with life when Aly got down the stairs. She watched as her Aunt Jenna almost comically ready the kitchen, filled with energy despite it being early in the morning. Elena was already down as well, looking tired as usual.

"Toast?" asked Aunt Jenna, working around Elena as she walked to the coffee maker. "I can make toast." 

"It's all about the coffee." Elena replied, yawning."Morning Alyssandra."

Aly smiled. Despite the obvious circles on Elena’s eyes, Aly was glad to see that her sister took effort in herself that morning. Elena had worn her signature long sleeves, and her straight hair was thoroughly brushed. "I'd have some of that." she murmured, playfully grabbing the coffee mug from Elena.

"Is there coffee?" Jeremy’s voice echoes from up the stairs, making himself known. Aly painfully notes that unlike Elena, Jeremy didn’t seem to have taken any effort at all.

She made a face, taking a sip from the mug. "Dude you need a haircut." 

The glare Jeremy sent her was icy. "You need to leave me alone." he frowned, bumping into her as he got in the kitchen. Aly rolled her eyes, somebody had woken up on the wrong side of the bed. "Do we have more coffee?"

Jeremy steals the new mug in Elena's hands, much like she did, earning a glare from the oldest Gilbert sibling. It was half-hearted. Guilty for doing the same, Alyssandra hands her mug back to Elena. The younger twin looks at Jeremy, feeling a little concerned as he continued to harshly pushed things around as he walked. He had a complete personality change since their parents died, she wanted to reach out somehow- but nothing seemed to go through him.

Growing up, it was Elena that Jeremy had always gone to whenever something was wrong. By no means did Alyssandra believe that the two were closer to each other than Aly was to them, as she also believed that Elena was simply easier to talk to. Simply by being the eldest, Elena always had something to say to the younger two.

Jenna wore a pained smile. "Your first day of school and I'm completely unprepared." she sighed, "Lunch money?" 

Aly gives her a smile. "I'm good."

"Same," Elena answered. "You coming with Bonnie and I to school, Aly?"

Aly shook her head no, “I’m heading to Caroline’s.” she explained. Caroline Forbes, Deputy Elizabeth ‘Liz’ Forbes’ daughter, her best friend. “I kinda promised her we’ll go together.”

With literally no shame, Jeremy takes the money hanging from Jenna’s hand. Aly decides to shoot her shot.

"Hey Jer," she called out. "Wanna hang at the Grills later?"

He doesn't even look back at her as he heads out, yelling out a ‘no’ as an answer. 

Elena frowned, "You think he's gonna be okay?" she asked, looking as worried as Aly was. She placed her coffee mug back down to the sink.

"Honestly I have no idea." Aly had a sinking feeling in her stomach, remembering the early days of their parents' death. Aly personally blamed herself for Jeremy’s new behavior, she herself had almost fallen off the wagon just as hard in early June. 

"Well- whatever.” she forcibly took the thought out of her mind, beginning to feel uncomfortable. “I'm heading to Caroline's. See you later-" Aly idly presses a kiss on her twin in the cheek before heading out as well. She briefly hears Elena and Jenna talk some more before Jenna follows her out through the door.

"Hey Aly, do you wanna ride? Caroline's house is just on the way," she pointed to her car.

Aly shrugged. “Yeah, sure.”

The ride to Caroline's wasn't exactly tense. But it was quiet. Aly follows the urge to trace her wrist. Finding comfort in the misshapen rough edges of her skin there. Jenna repeatedly taps the steering wheel.

"So-" Jenna starts, breaking the silence. "You ready for the first day of school?" she asked.

Alyssandra shrugged once more. "It’ll be alright I guess." she takes a look at her aunt. "Thanks, by the way," she tells her, softly this time. "I have no idea what we'll do without you."

It was true. 

Elena had refused to go out of her room for days at a time the week of their parent's death, Jeremy decided it was a good idea to meet up with her druggie friends, and at the day of their parent’s funeral, Aly herself had almost ran away. It was their Aunt that had somehow huddled them back together. It was nowhere near perfect, and Aly seriously doubted that things would go back to normal. But today was better, their lives were better, and it was all because of their aunt.  

Jenna smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Your mom was way better at this than I am" she shook her head. "She always wanted kids."

They fall into silence once more, one that's more comfortable. Alyssandra watched as they passed by houses. Thoughts of her parents running through her mind. She was once again reminded of the dream she had that night. She hasn't really talked to anyone about it. She can't get her dad's panicked face in his last moments out of her mind. She still didn't know or understand how she managed to see through Elena's eyes.

She felt her stomach churn over the thought that Elena had actually gone through what she saw. That Aly herself was already panicked by the thought. A part of her wanted to open up to her sister about the events of their parent’s death. But she couldn’t bring herself up to the conversation.

Alyssandra shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. Already they had arrived just outside the Forbes residence.  "Thanks for giving me a ride." 

"You sure you don't need anything?" Jenna asked. 

"I'll be alright," Aly assured her. "Take care!" she said as she shut the door. Jenna gives out a beep as her car drives by. She hears the Forbes house open, revealing her friend, Caroline.

As always, Caroline had her blonde hair curled to perfection, her cheerful happy smile radiant and infectious. Aly was forever grateful for her personality. Many had thought that Caroline was shallow, often jealous of others, and always trying to do things her way. But Aly knew better. Her best friend had a heart of gold beyond the rough ‘shallow’ exterior. She was fiercely protective of her friends, and had always been kind despite her ‘say before think’ attitude.  

"Aly!" Caroline called out, giving her a hug. "I'm so glad to see you" she then pulls back, smiling brightly before- "Your hair is a mess," she tells her. "Come on," Caroline grabbed her hand, "Let's get you fixed up before we go. It's the first day and all."

Alyssandra shakes her head, slightly laughing at her antics. "I think my hair is absolutely fine." but she lets herself get dragged anyways.

 The first few hours of school went by smoothly. Aly ran a hand down her hair, carefully not messing up the handkerchief headband Caroline pinned up. She looked at herself in the mirror, tying her curls into a low bun. She felt oddly jittery, feeling as though something was about to happen. She took a deep breath to calm herself, closing her eyes. The restroom door opens, and she jumps in surprise. 

It was Elena. 

"You scared me."Aly couldn’t help but send her a glare as she washed her hands. Giving herself a little shake.

"You alright?" 

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?" Elena pushed, her frown never leaving her face. Sometimes, even Alyssandra got unnerved by looking at her twin, astounded by their likeness. Aly wiped her hands down her skirt, looking at herself at the mirror one last time before rolling her eyes. 

"I'm fine, Elena," she said, giving her sister's arm a squeeze. "You?"

Elena shakes her head. "Not really," she mumbled, leaning down on the sink. "I saw Jeremy getting high off earlier."

Aly frowned, disbelief evident on her face. "Are you serious?" she shakes her head, disappointment rolling off her in waves when Elena nods. 

Elena looks at her hopefully, "I was wondering if you could talk to him later?" she asks, "I tried to tell him off but it didn't really work."

“I could.” she said, “But he’ll just give me a speech about being a hypocrite.” at Elena’s look she adds- “I suppose I’ll go find him with the druggies later.” she grabs Elena’s hand, hooking her arm with hers. “Come on, we’re gonna be late for class.”

They bump into someone as they head out. Alyssandra hears the guy gasp. He was tall, brown-haired, green-eyed. Pretty lithe and looked pretty shocked. He was obviously the new kid everyone had been talking about. Although he was new, Aly thought that he looked oddly familiar.  

"You alright there buddy?" she asked, an eyebrow raised. 

"Y-yeah," he stammered. “Hi, Elena.” 

"Stefan." Her twin greeted, smiling wide. It was an obvious sign, Elena had a new crush. "this is my sister, Alyssandra. Alyssandra, this is Stefan. We have History together."

Aly couldn’t help but snort at her choice of words. She reached out her hand for the guy to take, the obvious sign basically confirmed, Elena was into him. “Hi.”

There was still this weird look on his face, his eyes kept on darting back from her to Elena. Aly found it a little funny. "First time seeing twins?" she couldn’t help but ask.

That seemed to get through him, shaking his head, he laughs. "No- no. I’m Stefan" he shook her hand. "You two just look so identical. "

"Aly," she tells him, the handshake lasted longer than normal. “And yeah- that’s how twins work.”

"Sorry," he said, apologetic. "I didn't see you in class earlier." He trails off in question.

"There's a no twins per class policy here. I also have more classes than Elena here." Alyssandra explained, "Anyways," she looks back at Elena, giving her a tug. Elena had been staring at him. "We should get going, Care and Bonnie are probably waiting for us."

Elena, seemingly oblivious from the awkward moment, smiles. "Yeah," she said, nodding along. "I'll see you around, Stefan."

"See you." He smiled back. As soon as he was out of earshot, Alyssandra could no longer contain her tiny fits of laughter.

"Omygod," Aly laughed. "What was that?"

"Shut up" Elena rolled her eyes, "What do you think?" she asked, smirking. "Cute? Hot?"

Alyssandra rolled her eyes, lightly pushing her sister. "He's alright." she conceded. Not really her type, but he was obviously hot. Emo-looking, soft guy. "You have a crush?"

Elena pushes her back, "No," she says, "just- slightly interested." she nods off to the side, where Tyler Lockwood and his friends stood. "I know someone else who's slightly interested."

"Shut up" Alyssandra harshly pinched her, not looking at Tyler's direction at all. "You know how that worked out."

"He's still your best friend, Aly" her sister insisted, Alyssandra just shakes her head. Her mind thought back on Tyler and their rather weird together-but-not-really relationship. It abruptly ended when he had finally confessed his feelings to her, which she shot down. In hindsight, his confession was incredibly sweet, not to mention well thought out. But it was badly timed. Her parents had just died, and she wasn’t ready to jump into a relationship just after that.

She knew though, that even if they didn’t die, she still would have said no. Aly figured that she’ll just have to apologize, words were said that night. 

"I'm not really interested in relationships right now." 

Elena just nods, expression turning solemn. "Yeah, I get it." she says, suddenly falling quiet. Her playful expression was gone from her face, replaced by one that was more subdued and pained. Alyssandra felt a pang through her chest.

The younger twin backtracks immediately, realizing her mistake. "I don't know," she said, forcing herself to become livelier, "Maybe if he does it again" she feigns a giggle, instantly feeling better as Elena smiled. They enter the cafeteria together, finding their friends quickly. Soon enough, they were busy chattering about their day.

Elena, Caroline, Bonnie, and Alyssandra, four fast friends since their childhoods. There wasn't a month in their lives where they didn't see or talk to each other, except during fights, but they never did last that long. Caroline was just explaining how the new guy, Stefan, was Elena's next beau when Alyssandra's eye catches Jeremy's form leaving the caf.

Alyssandra stands up, "I'll be right back." she tells her friends. "I'll just go talk to Jeremy."

Following her brother, Alyssandra quickened her pace. A frown settling in her face. She knew the appeal of drugs, understood it, had it. But she couldn't. Not anymore. Elena would be heartbroken, not to mention it'll look terrible as Jeremy's role model. She sees her brother talking to Tyler, who looked like he was having a whiff of his own.

"Jeremy," she called out, smiling tightly. She ignored Tyler behind him. "Can we talk?"

Jeremy looked immediately pissed off. "What are you doing here?" he immediately grabbed her by the arm, dragging her away.

Aly pushed him back, not liking the rough handling. "What?" she asked, "I happen to be friends with the people here."

"Did Elena tell you to talk to me?" he glared. At the side, Aly sees Tyler come closer. "Why can't you two just leave me alone?"

Her ex- something gives her a look, joining in the conversation. "Aly"

Alyssandra ignores him some more. "Listen, Jeremy," she says, "This isn’t the way and you know it... You don’t use this shit for things to magically get better. Recreation, fine. But it isn't going to help you okay? It's not permanent." she makes a point by grabbing the joint from his hand. “You don’t depend on these things. It’s dangerous. I know this.”

Jeremy has a pained expression in his face, but he just shakes his head, handing out his hand. "Give it back Alyssandra."

Aly sighed, handing it back to him but taking her arm back when Jeremy instantly reached for it. "Promise me you'll think about it?" she pleaded.

"Yeah. whatever." he took his joint back, huffing as he walked away.

Tyler immediately rushes to say, "Aly I swear it's not what it looks like."

Alyssandra glares at him. "Just stay away from my brother alright?" she bumps into him as she walks away. Fully aware that it'll just get him mad. Tyler has always had anger management issues.

He grabs her hand, practically forcing her to face him. Alyssandra tenses up as he holds her up by the arms. "I promise," he says, looking at her in the eyes. There was a sad look in his eyes. She feels her resolve break up a little. "I'm not giving your brother any drugs." 

Alyssandra shrugs him off, huffing. "Fine" she bites back, "It doesn't matter anyway, Jeremy will just find someone else to get him his next hit." she huffs.

Tyler looks at her, sympathetic. "I'll look after him," he says. "I know how much he means to you."

Alyssandra murmurs him thanks, making a move to head back to the cafeteria but-

"Hey," he stops her again. Alyssandra desperately hopes he isn't gonna bring up what happened the last time they were together and, "Jenny wants you to come by her house later." he tells her instead.

"The drummer girl?" she asks in disbelief. Alyssandra folds her arms, "What does she want?"

Tyler gives her a genuine smile, she tries to ignore how cute it looked "Well," he says, "I gave her one of your songs." he admits "She told me she liked it and wanted you to come over."

"Seriously?" Alyssandra’s excitement was evident in her voice. "she wants me to what? Sing it to her or something?"

"I guess so," he agreed. "I can drop you off later after school if you want."

Alyssandra rolled her eyes, "If this is some kind of ploy-"

"It's not" he quickly cut her off. "You write good, you sound good. That's all real."

She finally gives Tyler a smile. He's always been nice to her when it came to music. Before, Tyler was always the first to hear the songs she made and he was always ready to give her his thoughts about it. But then her mind flashbacked to her parent’s funeral, and her stomach once again went up in knots. 

"Thanks," she mustered up. "I'll see you after school"

The first thing Aly noticed upon arriving was that the music was obnoxiously loud.  Tyler had just dropped her off by Jenny's house, and he tells her to send him a message once they're done so he can give her a ride home. She felt nervous, her heart beating in time with the drums. She had removed her hair tie, letting her hair fall by her shoulders in waves. She adjusted her headband, making a move to fix it up again before-

"You look fine." says a girl's voice. The door had opened, and it revealed a girl who had bright pink hair and a spunky attitude. "Come on in." 

Instead of a living room, Alyssandra was greeted up with a studio. The band had stopped playing. It took her a moment to realize they were waiting for her to introduce herself.

"H-hi" she stammered, she cleared her throat "I'm Alyssandra Gilbert, you can call me Aly." There were four of them in the room, five, if you count Alyssandra. They all stood by their instruments, looking as comfortable as she felt she wasn't.

"We know," says one of the guys, by the looks of it the lead guitar. "Sarah-" he calls out, motioning the girl that stood by the piano. "Play her cd."

Alyssandra almost cringed as the familiar strum of her guitar began to play from the stereo. The very first song was one she made from freshman year. She mentally cursed Ty for giving them  that song. It was spectacularly cringy.

"You have a nice voice." says Jenny, "and you know how to play with a song. This one" she holds a finger up. "Is really catchy"

Catchy but cringy, she thought.

"How long have you been doing this?" asked the dude, Alyssandra wasn't sure if she saw him around the school. His colored hair and face were unfamiliar. "Name's Nick, by the way."

"I learned how to play the guitar when I was 13," she explained.

The girl by the piano, Sarah, gives her a look. Her hair was dark red, straight, and she had bangs that almost covered her eyes. "How committed are you?" she asks, "If you join us," she says, leaning in "You'll be very busy. Don't you have cheer?"

"I'll have time," Alyssandra answered quickly. She knows how their lead singer had just left their band a few weeks before, having to move. "I'm good at scheduling things." she added.

Nick snorts, "You're on honor roll too, founding daughter.” he said scathingly. “Are you sure you'll have time?" 

Alyssandra had to stop herself from glaring at him. She forced out a yes.

"Oh stop it," says the other guitarist, the only one who didn't dye his hair. Alyssandra was glad, she didn't really want to color hers. "Name's Jamie," he tells her. "I think she'll fit in just fine."

"We have a couple of songs we want you to hit up first before anything serious," says Jenny, handing her a note sheet, one that impressed Alyssandra. "And also- Nick’s right, if you do join us we’ll need your commitment."

She nods, taking the paper from Jenny’s hands. "Yeah, sure" she felt herself slightly calming down. Jenny had switched up the player into something else, and by the looks of the lyrics, she's reading the first song they're gonna try out. She listens intently on the tune. Tapping her foot by the beat. Inside, she felt something inside her lighten up and she almost felt giggly.

After a while, Jenny gives her another look. "Ready?" she asks.

Alyssandra nods. She hears Jenny countdown, stopping her hands from shaking, she holds the mic a little tighter. She looks at the markings by her wrist as a last-second effort to calm herself down. Relief passes through her in an instant.

They ended up staying there for a couple of hours. Running down some renditions, letting her sing other songs, letting her sing her songs- the ones that they liked anyways.

Then there they were, all huddled up in a circle. The past few hours had felt exhilarating and fun, leaving a happy smile on her face. At first, she had felt regretful to not join her friends and sister at The Grill but now she realized she had made the right decision. The four were trying to decide if she got in or not, they all looked to each other intently as though they were having a silent conversation.

"You have a nice voice." Nick conceded, he looked at Sarah- "What do you think?"

"Nice?" she echoed, and for a moment Alyssandra's heart freezes "It's great. Honestly, Aly. Your songs are super good too."

"Thanks," Alyssandra replied, her face feeling hot.

It was Jenny who said the final cut. "We'll call you." she says- and before Alyssandra could react she says, "We need some time to think. There are also a few people that we've called that could sing and we wanna hear them out too- you understand, right?"

Alyssandra was nodding all the way through, "Yeah," she said, "definitely. You got my number?"

"We got it from Tyler," Jenny assures her. Alyssandra takes a quick look at Jamie, who has been quiet all throughout. "So that's that-" Jenny continues, standing up. She holds up a hand, which Aly takes. "You need a ride home?" 

Alyssandra shook her head. "Ty's picking me up," she says, standing.

"You and Tyler," Jamie finally spoke up, looking at her intently. "You two still together?" 

"No," shaking her head again "We never were." She hoped they'd fix their friendship though. Aly missed their late-night hangouts. She gives him a smile, though once she sees the look he's giving her she immediately says; "I'm also not looking into any relationships right now."

Jamie's face falls, "Oh," his face morphed into realization. "Your parents,"

"I don't wanna talk about it." she gets out through the door, a frown on her face. She wasn't about to tell her problems to a stranger. No matter how nice their day had just been.

"Condolences," he said instead, respecting her space.

"Thanks," she answered softly, giving him a warm smile. "You're really good at the guitar back there."

Jamie nods, chuckling.  "You're pretty good too," he tells her, "wish everyone knew how to actually make songs."

Alyssandra pouts, "But then I won't be special." she tells him jokingly. They end up talking some more and after a while, Alyssandra realized that Tyler wasn't going by any time soon. Excusing herself from Jamie, she calls Tyler up a couple of times. Angrily cursing when he didn’t answer.

"Typical." she muttered angrily, shoving her phone back to her pocket. 

"Need a ride?" Jamie asked, looking sympathetic. Alyssandra sighed.

"I think Ty ditched me, yeah." she grabbed her bag, huffing. She really needed to get her own car somehow. 

Later in the comfort of her own house. Aly stared aimlessly at the ceiling, comfortably lying down in her bed. It was already late at night- and she got multiple texts from her friends and Elena to meet up at the Grill- one that she refused in order to rest. The time at Jenny's place tired her, she hasn’t sung out to people since her parent’s funeral, and she'd like to get her nerves relaxed. It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep.

She was being chased in a forest, dressed in blue. Her hair was half tied up. She felt fear run deep in her bones, urging her to run even faster. Her breath came in pants, and she felt her heart almost stop when she fell by accident.

A man called up to her, "Tatia," he yelled. Alyssandra felt confused, wondering for a moment what was going on. "Wait!- wait!"

She heard herself speak without her accord. "Stay away from me!" she panicked. Alyssandra stood up immediately.

The man is admittedly gorgeous. He looked sharp. With his jawline and piercing dark eyes. His hair was long and went past his soldiers. Alyssandra felt like she knew him, but she has never seen him in her entire life. His hands were up, presumably to signal that he meant no harm.

"I won't hurt you," he begged. He sounded desperate, sad. A part of her felt pained over the sound of his voice.

Alyssandra gasped, for some reason she wanted to tell him that she believed him but- "What have you become?"

"I'm what I've always been," he tells her, coming closer. But there's something else in his eyes, which slowly bled red. Alyssandra's heart raced- fear clouded her mind. "I'm the one who loves you."

His words made her warm, but at the same time, it churned her heart.

"Your mother asked me for my blood." Alyssandra admitted, "she said nothing about the dark magic that would turn you into a monster!" Aly took a step back once more. The man has his hand held out, silently shaking his head with each of her steps.

"Look at me," he said, "I'm not a mons-" he abruptly stopped, taking a look at her hand. Alyssandra's heart spikes out once more, suddenly scared and protective of the writing on her wrist. She looks, but her hand was wretched in blood. "Tatia" he breathed, taking a step forward.

Her hand moves on its own, slapping him. He backtracked, "I said I won't hurt you." he looked at her, breathing harshly, "I don't-" he tells her.

"Elijah," she begged. The name sent a jolt through her.

"Run." 

And so she does, but it doesn't take long for him to catch her. A scream tears through her throat as he takes a bite out of her neck.

Another scream woke her up. She was shaking from head to toe, her bones vibrating on its own. Her heart seemingly wanted to break open her chest, and she had to gasp in order to breathe. Inside her own head, Alyssandra briefly wondered who was sobbing, it took her a moment to realize that it was her.

She stands up, holding up to her desk for support. She felt nauseous. Her dream repeated itself over and over inside her own head. Replaying itself, as though it was permanently ingrained inside. Once again, Aly had an inkling feeling that she had just died. 

She quickly made her way to her bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach. She tries her best to calm herself down, her right hand going to her wrist- but when the usual contact of her skin used to soothe her, this time she felt nothing but fear. She regretted ever learning Norse.

Elijah

Alyssandra quickly washed her face, banishing the name from her mind. She took deep breaths instead. Holding down the sink to stop herself from shaking. Once the tears had finally stopped streaming down her face, she made her way downstairs. It was pitch black outside, a quick look at the clock tells her that it was an hour past midnight.

She gets a mug, fully intent on making herself a hot cup of chocolate milk- when she jumps, screaming in surprise at the noise behind her.

"Jesus Christ Alyssandra!"

It was Jeremy. He immediately rushed to her, but it was too late. Alyssandra found herself down near the sink, taking sharp intakes of breath. It squeezed her lungs, and her vision blurred. Without even realizing, Aly ends up babbling everything, wanting to get the pain in her chest gone. From her nightmare, she had just woken up from the one she had the night their parents died.

"I swear-" she gasped out, shaking still- holding unto her brother for dear life. "I swear it felt so real."

It takes a while to calm her down. Thankfully, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he repeatedly ran down his hand through her back in circles.

They both went silent as she drank the contents of her hot drink. The only sound coming in was the harsh breaths that she released every now and then.

"It was a dream." he finally said. "You'll be okay." in a softer tone, pulling her up. Alyssandra stands, burying her head by his shoulder. It registers in her mind that this was the first time they’ve hugged since June.

"It felt so real.”

Jeremy gives her a slight shake, "He's not real." he tells her, Alyssandra notices the bag under his eyes and the taut expression in his face. He looks almost as though he was in pain. Alyssandra felt worse, feeling bad for what just happened. "Nobody is gonna come running to you, alright?"

"Yeah" she nods, looking intently at the mug. Her hands were still shaking.

Jeremy sighed, then held out something. It was a joint.

Alyssandra shakes her head, eyes closing "Jeremy I-"

"It'll calm you down." he sighed, putting it in her hands. "You know it will."

Aly couldn’t help but frown at her brother’s words, staring as he leaves through the door to their backyard. Her mind goes to another time as the scent of the joint reaches the house. Simpler times, better times. She really thought that he should stop, but then again, no one had really gone against her when she started.

Briefly, Aly wondered how she thought that it was different. Aly did them because it was fun, Jeremy did it because it took the pain away. She wondered if she really was a hypocrite. 

Alyssandra followed him out the door.

Last Chapter | Next Chapter

[killerqueen-18]

Chapter One| Bullshit

2009

“ATHENA GILBERT! You better be up when I get up there! Don’t make me get the water bucket!”

The teenage girl shoots up in her bed. Her hair is sticking every which way. The shaggy black dog jumps off the bed alamed by the yelling in the usually quiet home. “You wouldn’t!” Athena yells back to the woman.

“Watch me!”

The girl pauses as if testing the woman, then she hears her Aunt Jenna in the hallway bathroom filling up a bucket. Athena jumps out of bed and runs to her own bathroom. “I’m up!”

Athena washed up, and put on some mascara and chapstick. She looks at herself in the mirror and sighs at her tired reflection. “You got this, ‘Thea. It wouldn't be the first time people ask 'Are you okay?', 'How's your family?'. All the stupid questions, and you will not snap." Athena says, to herself.

"And now I'm talking to myself... Great, I'm turning into Elena." The girl says groaning, walking back to her room. Athena looks at her dog who was laying on the bed. “Lucky asshole. I want to sleep.”

The girl grumbles to her dog about being lazy, but she goes ignored as the dog huffs at her. Athena looked through her closet and found what she wanted to wear for the day. She puts on a yellow top, black and yellow plaid pants, black heeled boots, and she tossed her black jean jacket over the top. Athena left her hair in his natural waves then moved onto jewelry. She placed it on a watch and silver rings and necklaces, then grabbed her black bag on her way out her room.

"Your first day of school, and I'm totally unprepared... Lunch money?"

Athena hears Jenna say as she makes her way down the stairs to the kitchen. "Thank you." Athena says, grabbing the money in which the woman held up -  giving one of the two twenties with her brother.

"Thank you." Jeremy says, smirking at Athena. She knows he'll either buy drugs or food, most likely the first one. But she let him grieve his own way just as she did. "Shut up." She says, pushing the boy away when he kissed her cheek. The girl then then walked to the back door to let the dog out.

"Anything else? A number two pencil? What am I missing?" Jenna says, mostly to herself. Athena and Jeremy down there coffee they’ve stolen from their sister. "Don't you have a big presentation today?" Elena says, attempting to pour her third cup of coffee.

"I'm meeting with my thesis advisor at.... Now. Crap." Jenna says, looking down at her watch. "Then go. We'll be fine." Elena says, letting Jenna run out the door. It was silent in the home for a moment and they all enjoyed the calm before the storm, until the eldest sister spoke up while Athena filled her dog’s water and food bowl.

"You okay?" Elena asks, looking at the youngest Gilbert. "Don't start." Jeremy says in annoyance, walking out the house with a slam of the door.

Athena sighs, and goes to the door and yells to the black dog. “Sirius! Breakfast!”

The dog runs into the home happily and runs to his food bowl. Elena watches her sister wash her hands, and speak up as the girl grabs a hand towel. "’Thea?"

The green eyed girl grabs her house keys from the counter, patting Sirius’ head on her way past. "Nope, sorry not sorry, but you're my sister not my councillor."

"Bonnie-" Elena starts.

"Care’s picking me up!" Athena yells, walking out the door to her best friend who was waiting. “See you at school!”

"How-" Caroline starts, as her best friend gets in the car. "Finish that sentence and i'll rip your tongue out." Athena says pointing, and glaring at the blonde girl.

"Alright." Caroline says, throwing her arms up starts then backs out of the driveway. "Just... Crying and talking about it isn't going to bring them back, Care." Athena says, after a few minutes in silence.

"Okay, I'll stop but it might make you feel better?" Caroline says, as she pulls into the parking lot. "Wanna make me feel better?. . . Help me feel alive." Athena says, with a double meaning. They climb out of the car and meet behind the car.

"Come on, Care. You can go ask how Elena is doing." Athena says, as they walk towards the school. "Yeah and maybe she won't bite my head off." Caroline says, playfully glaring at her best friend.

"Sorry, not sorry." Athena says shrugging, making them both laugh. "Hey, I have to go talk to Katy. She wanted to talk about the bonfire." Caroline says, looking around for said girl.

"I don't like Katy." Athena says, disgusted. "I know."

"Fine. Go away. Cheat on me with... Katy. Just know I gave you the best sixteen years of my life!" Athena yells dramatically after Caroline, as the blonde walks away. "I don't know her!"

"First day of school and already embarrassed Caroline in the first hour... Check." The girl says, walking through the doors happily. "God, can't people mind their own goddamn business." She says, seeing the looks she was getting. She then runs into someone much to her dismay.

"Seriously? Can't even walk the goddamn halls without someone irritating me." Athena says, to herself. "Sorry.” The stranger mumbles, as he steadies himself and the girl.

“It’s whatever.” Athena says, adjusting her bag on her shoulder, then looks up at the boy. The girl looks at the boy who had sunglasses on his face. She tilted her head at the boy curiously having never seen the boy before. “Who are you?”

“Uh, I'm Stefan Salvatore." The boy says, putting his hand out.

"New?" Athena says, raising an eyebrow. Only to get a nod from the boy making her sigh knowing she should act nice, so she puts on a  bright smile. "I'm Athena Gilbert."

"Like the-" Stefan starts. "Yup. Goddess of war, half-sister of Apollo and Artemis, and the daughter of Zeus and Metis." Athena says, almost annoyed.

"Right." Stefan says, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "You know it's pretty stupid to wear sunglasses indoors. Has anyone ever told you that? It's like you're trying to draw attention to yourself with the whole dramatic 'I'm too cool for school' bullshit." She says seriously, stunning the boy. The girl seemed to be proud of herself and nods at the boy.

"I'm walking away now… Bye." Athena says, walking away spotting her sister with Bonnie at her locker. The green eyed girl sighs, and walks up to the two. "Hey Bon-Bon."

The two girl’s stop talking and watch as the green eyed girl goes through her locker. Elena was hoping one of their shared friends would get the girl to talk about her feelings, but she failed to get Caroline to talk to the girl about the crash. It wasn’t that Caroline didn’t care about Athena, the blonde just knew how the girl’s brain worked.

Bonnie kept shaking her head and Elena - who was motioning for Bennett to speak to Athena for her - but she sighed, giving into the eldest Gilbert’s request. "Hey, ‘Thena. How-"

"Are you really going to waste your breath? My answer is always the same." Athena says, rolling her eyes. She shuts her locker and smiles at the Bennett girl. “I’ll talk when I’m ready. Just… let me be for now.”

"Right." Bonnie says smiling, she’s missed the blunt comments from the Gilbert girl. The three walk side by side towards the direction of their first class. "Hold up. Who's this?" The Bennett girl stops in front of the office.

"All I see is back." Elena says, with a tilt of her head. Both Gilbert’s hum looking at the boy in the office. "It's a hot back." Bonnie excuses.

"New kid. I just talked to him and I already forgot his name." Athena says, with a hum. It was only eight in the morning - ten minutes before class started - and the girl was already bored out of her mind. "I'm sensing Seattle, and he plays the guitar." Bonnie trails off, ignoring the girl’s comment.

"You're gonna run this psychic thing into the ground, huh?" Elena says, smiling. "Psychic?" Athena says laughing, looking at the girl.

"Pretty much." Bonnie says, shrugging her shoulders jokingly.

"Jeremy, good batch, man."

Athena hears a boy say from down the hall, then she sees Jeremy walk to the bathroom. She doesn’t think too much about it and ignores it but her older sister - by a few months - can’t seem to let the boy slide away.

"I'll be right back." Elena says, then storms off into the boy's bathroom. "Elena! Seriously!" Athena says with a groan, as she follows after her sister.

The girl bumps into a boy as he storms out of the bathroom, she sidesteps the boy and continues her way into the boys bathroom after Elena. Athena walks past the wall and sees Elena standing behind Jeremy who was at the sink.

"Great. It's the first day of school, and you're stoned." Elena says, grabbing the boy's shoulder and turns him to her as she checks his eyes. "Elena, chill out." Athena tries.

"No, I'm not." Jeremy says, scoffing as his eldest sister. "Where is it? Is it on you?" Elena starts to check the boy, and patting down his sweater.

"Stop. Chill yourself, all right?" Jeremy says, pushing his sisters hands away from him. "Chill myself? What is that, stoner talk? Dude, you are so cool." Elena snaps.

"Elena stop!" Athena says, stepping in between them. She hated when her sister became hypocritical. Athena and Jeremy knew the girl continued to sit in the cemetery alone, while they stayed in the rooms. "I don't have anything. Are you crazy?" Jeremy says, looking down at the middle sibling. Sadly, she was the shortest of the three, but she held her own.

"You haven't seen crazy, Jeremy. I gave you a summer pass. But I am done watching you destroy yourself. No, you know what? Go ahead, keep it up." Elena shouts looking past her sister. "Elena enough! You're our sister not our mother... She died in that goddamn car crash!" Athena snaps, pushing her sister away from them.

It becomes tense between the three as they look at a temperamental Athena. The girl always had anger issues, but she had her father that helped her get that side of her under control. Whether it was boxing classes, art, meditation, and everything under the sun, all of it went out the window when her father died. He was the main reason way the girl didn’t lash out, and now that he was gone… the girl became unpredictable.

"Athena-" Elena says, trying to put her hand on the girl’s shoulder but Athena flinches away. "Walk away, Elena, before you make me angry." Athena snaps, glaring at the girl.

Elena looks between Jeremy and Athena, and sees the glares directed towards her making her sigh. She nods, and walks out the bathroom without another word. Athena lets out a breath she didn’t know what was holding and leans against the sink as if to bring herself back down to earth.

"I'm sorry." Jeremy says, softly. He watches as the girl’s shoulder raises and falls as she breathes but he gets a weak shrug in response. "We've all got our own coping mechanisms. No one can tell you when to get over something."

The five minute bell rings making the girl stand up straight, and turn to her brother. "Look I got to get to Tanner's but uh… Please just get to class… For me?"

"Sure." Jeremy says, kissing his sister's head.

[topoffyourhat]

Thoughts On SDCC Supergirl Interview:

Okay so take my thoughts, feelings, and opinions on this matter as you see fit. I know everyone is entitled to their own ideals here and may not take mine seriously since I’m a white, heterosexual woman but I just wanna get mine out there based off what I’ve read, seen, and heard regarding this topic. Here are the things I gathered and taken from this:

1. The interview wasn’t taken seriously from the get go (except for Katie, David, and Odette) which is what pissed me off the most. Your show represents and stands for so much or at least it’s supposed to and if you really give a crap about it, your character, career, and how people see you: answer the damn question seriously and not sing around it. People have questions and have to wait for so long to be able to share them and want answers that matter just like if you asked a question and someone continious tip toed around you avoiding to answer, wouldn’t you be annoyed or upset too? I fucking would so at least answer the best to your ability to proudly represent your show, your characters, and your capabilities as actors/actresses. This is the biggest and largest convention in the country where everything happens (promo, trailer, concept art, future plans, and etc releases) so at least have the heart to understand your purpose here and what it means to people. Yes obviously we don’t expect you to ruin the whole upcoming season for us, but for fucks sake actually act like you give a shit about your jobs and not treat them like a fucking joke because this show has helped and brought many people together more than I think you realize. 2. To all the people calling out Melissa, Chris, Mechad, and Jeremy for being gigantor homophobes. That song they sang about the Supercorp ship vs. the Karamel ship sounds far more condescending, mocking, belittling, and honestly it feels more like an attack than anything. You can hear it their tone and see it through their body language and presence and even Katie, David, and Odette found it awkward and because of that the whole thing was extremely uncomfortable from start to finish. They obviously weren’t expecting to be bombarded by such a fan base for that ship in particular and were more prepared to discuss the ships that were canon confirmed in their show but I don’t think this necessarily makes them homophobics. I know Melissa, Jeremy, Chris, and Mechad all proactively support gay rights and marriage and just because they support these ideals doesn’t necessarily mean they fully understand lgbtq and all that it entails. I know plenty people that they say they support gay rights and marriage and all of lgbtq but are still uncomfortable or can’t handle witnessing any kinds of displays whether public or private which is very naive and hypocritical thinking but I don’t think that’s what caused this to spark and get them in trouble. I think what got them in trouble is when: A. Jeremy tried validating himself by saying he’s a “theater kid” and because of it knows how to properly represent the lgbtq community and insinuated that all “theater kids” are or are not lgbtq. Yea no not how it works. 1st of all, you can’t say stereotypes what kinds and types of people are involved in theater, they all come from mixed backgrounds. Secondly, you can’t validate yourself or your character consentually acting like their experiences are better or worse than others, especially those in the lgbtq community. B. Melissa wasn’t helpful either telling Jeremy he was “so brave” when he told people in regards to the Supercorp ship that he “debunked it.” Being lgbtq, coming out as lgbtq, living as lgbtq, and so on are very brave, strong, and inspring things to do so what’s there to debunk? I obviously don’t know and can’t act like I do, being heterosexual, but I have witnessed some of my friend’s journeys with it and while people are becoming a little more accepting and aware, we’ve still got a LONG fucking way to go to help and better lgbtq equality, representation, and value and this little conversion definitely made me realize how much progress we have to make in educating people what lgbtq means in how we discuss and regard the subject amongst others. 3. While I may not like certain pairings or ships it doesn’t mean I act oblivious to them or exile them like they don’t exist. Everyone has their own preferred otp’s that they couple off but it’s based on each person viewing the show. Without these kinds of responses (these responses can come through several forms like video reactions, fanfictions, fan art, and etc), shows don’t get this mass attention and overwhelming popularity and also without these, your show can’t build a strong, healthy fanbase and yes all shows, movies, books, and so on aren’t always perfect. They all experience good and bad moments from time to time it’s all a part of being in fandoms which are almost always divided unfortunately (you can choose how you want to be and represent yourself) but it’s how you acknowledge and handle these types of situations that keep your fandom united and content and because of these guys lack of seriousness that makes it more difficult. There’s ways you can properly respond to this and the perfect example being Katie handling Chris’s comment regarding sexuality by simply stating, “It matters who you are, not who others think you are. You are your own person despite other people’s perceptions.” That’s how you handle and shut that shit down. It wasn’t rude or overbearing. It was very mature and while it was directly proving her point, it was also indirectly addressing a wide audience of people that may or may not understand the situation and quickly ended the discussion which is what I loved more than anything. Acknowledge the fans and who they are, what they want, their views and opinions. Be open minded to new possibilities which doesn’t mean you always have to agree or disagree but at least recognize it because if you can’t guess who doesn’t have a fucking show? 4. Also based off what I’ve seen just recently since I posted this, I get that what happened has really hurt and offended many people including myself but you attacking and harassing the cast and crew with death threats and planning on boycotting the show doesn’t make you any better. You’re literally stooping at the same, possibly worse level and instead of trashing and directing your hate and anger at them, direct your love and compassion to help people better understand and educate why this is such a huge deal and maybe just maybe they will learn from this. Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes and we have to remember that even with celebrities but they’re not going to if we continue to make them feel less. Yes we all go through this pain and hate and it makes us stronger but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be the better person. Instead channel this energy into something more meaningful and use this experience to raise your voice in a more uplifting and influential way. Share your stories, your thoughts and feelings, your emotions, and what not. Let it all out in the open but just think of how you’d present this information amongst yourself and how you’d want others to present it to you. In this day of society, we should be treating others the way you want to be treated and despite our convictions should continue being kind to 1 another and striving for 1 common goal, coming together. We all want to feel loved and like we belong somewhere but it’s not going to happen if we keep going this same path time and time again. Finally all in all, I’m not going to let this crap stop me from watching the show. I love supergirl and all that she stands in comic and film universe. I love this cast more than anything and the whole thing was blown up for a reason because people care about them and this show and while I’m skeptical about this upcoming season I just hope the cast and crew and even the network learn and grow from this incident and use the experiences surrounding it to better and educate themselves and make this show what it’s meant to be: super.

[wtffundiefamilies]

@emeraldboreas

Courtship’s big problem, at least how Gothardites do it, is that it inhibits truly getting to know your potential partner. My husband and I were engaged four months after meeting, but those were conversation-heavy four months. We discussed everything under the sun, in private. Lots of intimate conversations that the Duggars simply can’t have with their siblings or parents around. For example, if one of the Duggars isn’t dedicated to fundamentalism, that needs to be discussed–but they can’t.

It’s been nearly three years since we married. My husband is the same man I thought he was when we married because I got to know him beforehand. I doubt the married Duggars will be able to say the same.

That’s really the main problem - they talk about how they “get to know” the person through courtship, but people alter their behavior in groups.  The guy who laughs it off when “Josie spills milk in his lap“ in the Duggar home may well rage out when his own kid does it at home.  And with the goal of marriage ALWAYS in sight, the courtship prospect knows they have to behave as JimBob wishes for a set amount of time - and then, once marriage is done, they can revert to whoever they really are.  I mean...fuck, remember how downright normal Derick seemed at first?

Hell, it happens in secular relationships all the time - people are on their best behavior at the beginning of a relationship, and it’s easy to be that way when you still feel like the person is perfect and you’ll NEVER fight and NEVER be pissed at them they will NEVER annoy you etc.  I’m not saying it’s always going to be that way; plenty of people are completely upfront about who they are from the get-go.  I’m just saying you shouldn’t rush into marriage if your lifestyle forbids divorce for any reason in case you’ve landed one of those people.  (Let’s all pause and stare meaningfully at Josh.)  That is NOT the time to marry someone you only know from group conversations and who is never able to “let their guard down” until you’re married.  That just seems like a horrible combination. 

@whatthefundie 

I feel like they do genuinely care and love each other, but I wish courtship would allow couples to actually get to know each other properly before pushing them into marriage - there’s so many things you don’t know about someone from hanging out in group setting etc aaaaah it stresses me out

Yeah, they do seem happy together.  And hopefully they will remain so as they truly get to know one another.  But how candidly can anyone really speak with parents and chaperones eavesdropping?  I think Joy and Austin may have had more of a chance, though, since I don’t think her brothers really give a fuck about hovering over them when they talk.  Unlike Josh’s creepy “protective” bullshit, they seem to feel like Joy is capable of picking out her own husband without their input.  I could be wrong though, and we’ll see more next season.  But I feel like their “chaperoning” would have been less weird and intrusive since they’re all friends with Austin on their own terms and they don’t just know him as “Joy’s future husband.” 

@harkinianmahboi

I fucking hate Jill.  She's such a narcissist, not to mention a neglectful mother.

Despite being the least interesting person of all time, she sure finds herself fascinating.  I mean, she’s all she wants to talk about.  Preferably on social media while Izzy climbs around the house like Spiderman. 

      @redwhirlwind89

I can't decide whether or not Jill is more like her mother or father. She's as moronic and zealous as Daddy-O, but she's as stupid, neglectful, silly, infantile, and selfish as her mother. Maybe THAT'S why she's Jim Bob's favorite? Because she's the most like Michelle? Certainly brings home my belief that there's some incestuous connection between them that no one knows about.

I think she’s a mini-Michelle for sure, at least when it comes to Izzy.  I really expected her to be a great mom and all about her kid (soon to be kids).  Maybe she’s depressed, maybe having kids immediately was a mistake when she really wanted to have time to act like a kid herself.  I don’t know.  But Izzy seems to be a social media prop for her, just like Michelle’s brood was one giant prop for her TV show.  Her eyes just look so empty all the time.  Meanwhile, Jessa lights up every time she looks at the Spurginator.  (And I assume Good Hank as well; we just haven’t seen them interact yet.) 

My guess is still that Jilly Muffin is Daddy’s favorite because she ratted out the kids who were trying to get away with things (I know Michelle claims they don’t like snitches in the Duggar house and told the kids to work things out themselves, but I don’t buy that - from Michelle, sure, since she wouldn’t have wanted to be bothered, but JimBob not love a chance to preach and boss?  I don’t buy it) and always did exactly as she was told with a smile.  She cheerfully raised her siblings from the time she was six and a half.  Jill was the anti-Michelle when she lived with her parents.  (And their relationship always seemed a bit off to me.  I don’t think anything happened, but I do think that JimBob’s “be the first man/husband prototype in my daughters’ lives” MO blurs every line between emotionally healthy parent/child relationships and emotional incest.  And I think that affected his relationship with Jill a lot more than it did Jinger and Jessa.  Joy and Johannah were both treated like Jill when they were young and cute but that seemed to be fading for Joy as she and Hannie got older; we’ll never know if Johannah became less of daddy’s favorite as she got older as well.)

Jill is like Michelle in terms of how she treats her child, but overall I think Jessa got Michelle’s personality - smug, full of herself, confident, bossy, and convinced that Jesus loves her best.  The only difference, and it’s a big one, is that Jessa is a competent, mentally sound adult human.  She doesn’t need an army of people to do everything for her and she’s not completely disconnected from reality.  (Jill seems to be well on her way there, though.)

@redwhirlwind89

HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW YOUR OWN KIDS BIRTHDAYS?? EVEN IF YOU HAVE 20 OF THEM?? Lady, I know you had your IQ banged out of you by The Boob, but get the hell real. That's 20 dates out of 365 you have to remember to congratulate your children for not killing themselves taking care of you and your household. No, strike that...18, because you have 2 sets of twins! *ugh* So much anger. When you can't keep your kids' birthdays straight, you have too many damn kids.

21 technically; though Michelle doesn’t count J’Caleb - for all her bleating about life beginning at conception (she totally forgot him with her “19 kids here and one in heaven” speech); I highly doubt his “birthday” is remembered around the house (though I’m willing to bet they do something to remember Precious Jubilee Shalom - which I’m not criticizing.  What I AM criticizing is the fact that if she had been miscarried at the beginning of the pregnancy, farther back in Michelle’s babymaking career when she wasn’t the Final Fetus, with no TV cameras around, I imagine she’d be as forgotten as Caleb.  And AGAIN I do understand that a late-term miscarriage is its own thing and maybe that would affect someone more.  But for people who base their entire lives around preserving the Almighty Blastocyst, I find it disgustingly hypocritical).

That said I think/hope she was joking. 

@missposabule

Oh God poor Anna

Agreed.  This seems like a shitty thing for her to be tasked with.  I’m sure she insisted on helping, but that had to have hurt.

        @undercoverduggarblog 

i REALLY want to know all the cringy ways they phrased it

Saaaame

        @discussingtheduggarfam 

lol but honestly though, i got some of “those” date night suggestions from friends that were rather risqué. my favorite g-rated cheap date idea was try cooking a new recipe while listening to frank sinatra.

Part of my curiosity comes from the fact that, uh, I don’t know how adventurous fundie sex tends to get.  Like...what specifically were they suggesting Jinger and Jeremy try???  TBH I’d rather have the g-rated ones. 

        @tenaciouscreeper   

Yeah I honestly wish I got date night suggestions at my bridal shower. I’m sure most of mine would have been rather risqué though 😒 people got so damn raunchy and it was annoying rather than funny. Not that my husband and I haven’t had good ideas ourselves but it would’ve been nice to get ideas from others you know? Especially considering that we lived out in the middle of nowhere. (Apologies for any typos I didn’t catch. On typing this from my new phone.)

Yeah, I think it’s a nice idea, especially for people who’ve barely spent time alone together.  (And agreed that I don’t get why people are so...gross about things.  Guys, we’re adults.  I think I’ve just gotten old.) 

      @gingerbreaddoll

For people who brag about how modest they are they really are very immodest.

You speak the truth. 

[jonboudposts]

Stop Crying for Boris Johnson

In the middle of the Corona Virus pandemic, the Prime Minister was taken into intensive care for what until then seemed like a case of skiving more than full-on sickness.  The weirdest and saddest sight has been left-wing commentators, activists or just wet people on Twitter and the like feeling a need to write support for Boris Johnson. The reason for doing so are more about a cultural weakness than any real commitment.  More out of fear of judgement because, after all, who with any decency could really care about Boris Johnson?

This idiot got Corona Virus through his own actions.  The same total irresponsibility he has displayed his whole overprivileged life.  All those people in parks over the weekend we are encouraged to condemn; the prime minister is one of those, but even more ignorant because the best-informed scientific minds in the country have been telling him what needs doing for a couple of months and he ignored it.  It seems strangely appropriate that Boris Johnson may die from the thing he and his extremist advisers made such a crap job of preparing for both personally and professionally because it does not match their political ideology to act on it.  

On the 3 March he talked about shaking hands in a hospital with people probably infected with Corona.  He also wanted all of us to get Covid-19 to create a heard immunity that is not only scientifically improbable but would involve many people – your friends, loved ones and work colleges and mine – dying.  Many of them already have because the government failed to take action quickly enough and now, we see exposed the full damage that ten years of austerity has done to the NHS and wider society, all under governments of varying Conservative stripe.  We are seeing increasing numbers of NHS workers dying trying to save all our lives, while the empty gesture brigade clap them on once a week (even ones who have voted Tory).  

The media have collectively forgotten all this; because to do otherwise would mean admitting they are wrong in their political support for this totally inept and extreme government – and I am the one scoring political points here? The British media is totally broken and cares more for attacking dissenters than reporting.  The level of carelessness toward the sick is breath-taking, as the BBC evening news discusses those old and infirm or suffering pre-existing conditions as people who would ‘have dies soon anyway’ (a literal line from The Day Today).  Unlike Boris Johnson of course, who is ‘a fighter’ (indicating that all those other people killed by this bastard virus were not).

But most importantly, no one on the right – politicians, newspaper owners, supposed writers or just dickheads screaming because the BBC have not played the national anthem today – would ever extend any understanding or care toward the left; or any notion of equality.  Come the day Jeremy Corbyn dies, these fuckers will gloat like there is no tomorrow; while now they shout on social media saying ‘the left’ are hypocrites for not caring about Boris Johnson, even when you do express such misguided care.   But most importantly, left-wing campaigners and commentators are regularly threatened with death, rape and other serious violence.  We are often subjected to it too.  Whatever I write, even if mildly critical of the PM at this time will always be thrown back at me by trolls and right-wing scum.  If I express any care or sympathy, it would be sneered at and disbelieved; so you cannot win with these people, no matter what.

Yet the same media, politicians, permanently online saddos and un-fuckable freaks never stand up for us or support the freedom of speech to say you hate this government or think soldiers and police are not heroes.  When you are threatened, they agree and amplify – from a safe distance naturally, as they are all utter cowards.  As I write this, they are all over Twitter calling left wingers childish names.  With this in mind, why on earth would make the effort to kiss up to these people?  

They know perfectly well that when you give an inch to the likes of them, it’s over for you.  None of them care what you or I think in the same way I could not give a rusty fuck about their opinions – they just want the power over you.  They want to make you apologise for doing nothing wrong or over something they do not even really care about because it makes you – and us – weak.  Always on the defensive, always fighting back.  We are the ones who believe in things; the right are a gaggle of scumbags who love only their own enrichment at the expense of those most vulnerable.

They wish they could suppress the left, like Orban or Duterte, among their fascist heroes.  But our political movement, for all the faults, has always been too strong and right to be repressed.  Really, they want us to die, preferably in the most violent ways possible and with a dose of sexual violence if you are a woman.  When you simper to them, what do you really imagine this achieves?  

While I rarely wish anyone suffering, I do not care about Boris Johnson. With or without Corona Virus running around his bloodstream, he is still a racist, homophobic, flag-waving twat who is responsible for poverty, injustice and death in Britain.  He is authoritarian, intolerant of anyone who challenges him and was involved in a situation last year with his now-pregnant partner that sounds awfully like domestic violence.  He is an awful man no matter what position he holds or where he comes from.  The best reason for his to survive is so he can go on trail for all the deaths in Britain from Covid-19 caused by him and his degenerate eugenicist adviser Dominic Cummings. This feudal-obsessed shithole of a country just bows and scrapes to the likes of him out of fear and habit.  

But still they Tweet and announce how they are ‘thinking of him and his family’. London mayor Sadiq Khan Tweets his prayers for Boris, who is an Islamophobe who refuses to investigate his political party that is full of Muslim-haters.  When fascist and far-right groups march in the UK these days (back when we were allowed outside), they have chanted the name ‘Boris’ and proclaimed him ‘their’ PM. That has never happened before.

Who do you people think you are kidding trying to make out this man has anything decent within him?  Take a look at Britain; with a failing healthcare system, increased hate crime and racist attacks, life-destroying levels of grinding poverty and a media that refuses anything other than the establishment line.  Boris Johnson has been fundamental is turning Britain into a cruel, cold failed state.  This is what you get when you send in the clowns.  These are the things we should be concentrating on changing; not a pathetic game of back-and-forth with a soulless runt of self-made human garbage.

The man who has led a government of over-privileged white power extremists has become a victim of his own actions; plain and simple.  He took on survival of the fittest; let’s see if he lives through it.

But whatever happens, do not come sniffing around here for an apology for anything I have said here; or for help whitewashing this vile man’s record.  Too many decent, innocent people have died in Britain due to Corona Virus.  Boris Johnson will not be one of them.

[notesfromthepen]

Million P1us

A Million P1us

They ignore us because they can.

I've been in prison going on seven years now. I started getting serious about writing when I came down. At first it was just about expression; an attempt to hold onto a little bit of freedom in a place otherwise designed to kill such things. A few years in I started writing about the shit that was happening in here. Figured, somebody should do it.

I wrote about corrupt officers, nonsensical policies, the cruelty of solitary confinement, the censorship, corruption, and the dangerous parole process. I wrote about the slave wages and the financial fleecing of inmates and their families. I wrote about the benefits of good time and Michigan's failure to offer positive reinforcement to inmates. I wrote about everything I saw, the ridiculous, hilarious, and serious alike. I wanted to give a full voice to this experience. Something deeper than stereotypes.

And then I realized that none of it mattered if no one was reading it. So I started a Facebook page, well Mama C started a Facebook page. I connected with amazing people, but it was clear Facebook wasn't the best platform. So we took what little money we had and started a website. Mama C, the saint she is, learned how to put it all together. And finally, a few moths ago, we entered the Twitersphere (they should bring back the electric chair, just so they can strap me in for writing Twitersphere). This is where the magic happened (can you be electrocuted twice?). In a few short months I linked up with so many like minded people, interested and passionate about what was going on in here, which inspired me to push even harder. After every new piece, I felt the sense of relief that comes from getting something off your chest. But whenever I'd see something written, or said about prison reform or mass incarceration, this responsibility, almost a guilt, would settle on me. I was getting good at pointing fingers, but I wasn't offering any solutions. I figured I'd try to put everything I knew together in a single, comprehensive, piece about the American prison system— to see if that would get rid of the feeling for good.

I spent months writing this pain-in-the-ass tome and, when it was finally done, I felt genuine relief. Everything I knew about the fiasco of incarceration was distilled down to single, coherent, piece of work. Dare I say, I was even proud? I was proud…but I was even more relieved.

Now it was time to get it in the hands of people who could actually make some change. Prison reform, after all, is the ONE bipartisan issue in the county.

With magnum opus in hand, Mama C tracked down all 110 Michigan State Representatives. She sent them each their own personal copy, along with a plea for the reinstatement of good time, and an open letter offering assistance. Twitter friends & the Facebook family sent links and messages to the Governor's office all the way up to federal lawmakers. There was even this amazing degenerate, who also claimed to be a famous comedian, who took notice. And he helped spread the word.

Not a single politician responded.

If this ex-telemarketer and procrastinating, but excellent author, who claims to know Joe Rogan, can't get any of the powers that be to listen, then what chance do the rest of us have?

ZERO. The answer, as it stands now, is zero.

And then I got to thinking.

I've always had love for the underdog, the oppressed, the voiceless. And now I was one. I wasn't surprised at the inaction I seemed to inspire in the political landscape. More often than not, these "leaders of men" do the RIGHT thing, only as often as it is incidentally attached to what they're FORCED to do.

They IGNORE us because they CAN.

Which got me to thinking more; what if I was IMPOSSIBLE to IGNORE?

At first it was just this funny little day-dreamt hypothetical; what if a currently incarcerated inmate had a MILLION PLUS followers on social media? What would that look like? The possibilities cascaded. It felt like a paradox, an impossibility, a glitch in the matrix—for an inmate to have that power.

The first thing I thought was, the system couldn't allow it. Then I wondered if could they stop it? Sure they'd try, but what could they actually do? Any attempt would likely back fire. It's a 1st amendment issue. The biggest strength we have at the bottom, is how little we have to lose. 

The fact, that this impossibility wasn't actually impossible, was hypnotic. I couldn't stop thinking about it—about what it meant.

Corruption rarely survives the light of day.

An inmate with a Million P1us followers on Twitter, for instance, would be like one of those nanny cams for the prison system. Knowing you're being watched will significantly curb a babysitter's urge to beat a kid into submission. Trust me, the first severe beating of my life was at the hands of a "baby sitter." I was so young I don't remember but Mama C says my whole face was swollen, that I could barely open my eyes. Then again I am half Asian, with baby eyes like slits, you ever think of that mom? Maybe this case of child abuse was just a simple case of racism. In any case, if ol' Rocky Marciano (he was Italian) had known there was a camera, he might've just let me cry myself to sleep without out the vigorous use of the five-fingered sleep aids.

Over share?

The point is, that without the ability to covertly fuck us over, they'd be forced to stop fucking us over, or at least cut back significantly. Politicians could no longer simply throw us away and ignore our pleas without repercussion. They could no longer anonymously give contracts to these abusive corporations who price gouge the hell out of us, while filling their campaign coffers—at least not without a Million P1us witnesses. From the lawmakers down to individual employees, they'd finally be forced to practice what they've been hypocritically preaching for decades: Personal Accountability.

It was fun to think about, but I wasn't actually going to do it. It was just something to think about during the commercial breaks of Rick & Morty. Just another game of "What If?"

Right?

My mischievous side disagreed; it absolutely loved the idea—wouldn’t let it go.

I'd be trying to watch TV and it'd chime in with shit like, "Why not? What are you scared of?" And the little bastard wouldn't shut up about Kim Kardashian. Kim this, and Kim that. "Kim snaps her fingers and people walk out of prison."

I did my best to remind my mischievous side that I'm not Kim Kardashian.

It reminded me I'm more of a Courtney anyway. And that Snooki, Guy Ferari, and half the cast of The Real Housewives all have a million plus followers.

I wondered how my mischievous side knew this but I didn't.

It said, "The whole point of prison is to silence us. Why not grab a megaphone and be louder than we've ever been? Ariana Grande:67 mil, Justin Beiber: 107 million followers on Twitter."

It was a good point.

"Ralphie May, Channel West Coast, Grumpy Cat..."

I don't know how accurate the research was.

All I'm trying to do is take a shit when I hear the subtlest voice say, "We've been waiting for this our entire lives. We are literally MADE for this. The ultimate thorn in the side of authority—of oppressive, corrupt, authority! An epic middle finger to the entire system."

The constant interruptions are starting to get to me but at this point I'm still unsure.

And then my mischievous side, that rebellious little bastard, says something undeniable, something it knows will kill every excuse I could ever muster. Slowly, fully aware of what it's doing, it says, "J-E-R-E-M-Y R-E-N-N-E-R has FIVE MILLION followers!"

And just like that, I'm in. My mischievous side wins for the first time in a long time.

I tell myself, if all these people have figured out how to get a million plus people to follow them, just so they can sell spanks, talk about their next hair color, or just BE a displeased cat, then what kind of coward would I be not to take a shot. Even if it's an air ball, or whatever clunky sports metaphor you'd prefer, if it means the chance to expose corruption & abuse, the government waste, inhumane practices, family separations, and the mass incarceration of those with mental illness, addicts, black, brown, and poor white people, not to mention the chance to knock Jeremy Renner off his high horse, and make the occasional poop joke...then I have to try.

I mean why can't it be done?

If we can rally enough rebels & misfits, the bleeding heart liberals and the stone cold conservatives alike, these conscientious men and women, Millennials, Baby Boomers & Gen-X'ers, to take a few seconds to tune in, then we'll have done something that has never been done before.

We'll have created a blueprint for other inmates and underdogs to fight for change, to show that redemption is real and that you can affect the world around you, even if you're actively being stepped on, if you work hard enough, think outside the box, and reach out to a few friends, who reach out to a few friends, and so on and so on until you become impossible to ignore.

Plus it would be hilarious, for politicians to have to take into consideration the opinion of a convict they'd all but thrown away...And most important of all: to stop Jeremy Renner from using Jeep commercials to force us to listen to his shitty band.

The goal is to get to a #Million P1us followers before I'm released. Which, if nothing changes, gives us 'til 2025.

We can do it.

In a world of click bait and countless distractions, this FOLLOW and SHARE can be your little contribution to prison reform and ending mass incarceration, a small, but not meaningless, drop in the bucket that gives you something to pat yourself on the back about. I'll take it. Or maybe you're just a rebel who's looking for another middle finger to stick in the air. Maybe you're a troll that thinks it'd be hilarious. Or maybe you're just tired of the same old meaningless bullshit on the news, Twitter, and social media in general. Whatever your reason, you'll be a part of giving a MDOC inmate a REAL chance at grabbing the world by the ear, and letting it know what's actually going on in here.

You already know I can't do this alone. If successful, this will be OUR achievement. Anyone who throws in will be a part of this absurd and exciting movement, and together we'll loom larger than we do alone.

I hope you're in.

We can't live in a world where Grumpy Cat has 1.6 million TWITTER followers, and Jeremy Renner is strutting around like he's the cock of the roost —but a convict on the forefront of the ONLY bipartisan issue of prison reform, with a saint for a mother, an amazing group of friends, and a real penchant for subversive, often ridiculous, writing— can't muster up Million P1us people to pay attention. Whatever God you believe in will not likely spare such a world for too long.

Ok, so: inspiration, outright begging, guilt tripping and fear mongering; ticked all the boxes.

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention; most important of all; it's actually a really GOOD Twitter account, on its own, regardless of it being about some convict writer.

So there's that as well.

Please link, share, mention, follow, or whatever you think would help. You already know groups and people that I'd never think of who'd be worth reaching out to. Oh, and CONTACT me...I want to know who you are, and what you think. I'm serious about this being OUR project.

Your friendly neighborhood convict, Bobby C. 

'til next time, appreciate the small things...even the annoying ones.

#MillionP1us

[geek-gem]

It 2017

8:21 pm okay had to click in the description thing three times. Yet also I wanted to put the time because been at home for a while.

But I'll get to this. Yes I've seen the film I saw it with my Nana, brother, and his friend who's a very close neighbor of ours on our street.

I'll just get to it I liked it quite a bit or a lot. Basically I enjoyed it. Will say it did frightened me quite a bit.

But I'll put that there and I wanna say some stuff first. I'm gonna say okay I missed OK KO and I noticed when we got back in my Nana's car it was 7:01 pm meaning I missed the second showing. Felt disappointed or sad. Honestly hoping tomorrow or some time this week that new episode is showcased. Including I don't usually record shows because to...keep my interests hidden at times.

Yet seeing this film honestly quite a good time. I'm gonna speak a bit about well not just the film yet other stuff. I've never seen the original mini series but I've seen Nostalgia Critic's review of it. Despite I'm not the biggest fan of his anymore and that was years ago. Also I was surprised it was a mini series also Canadian because Canadians make some good shit. Despite yeah I know it's based upon this novel.

Including last night was seeing a bit of clips from the original where Tim Curry is playing Pennywise seriously lovely actor this is Nigel Thornberry and other characters.

Also I haven't had the most exposure to the character of Pennywise but mainly if you don't mind me calling you friend @bakhtaks-blog who's a horror fan and likes Pennywise but honestly over the years the character and story has been around for quite a long time.

I don't wanna sound stupid yet I'm seriously surprised by the amount of interest this film had. I'm worried I'm sounding a bit hypocritical but it's maybe because I think horror fans don't get much interest because well their horror films almost left fans. So I'm honestly sounding stupid but it amazes me how much this film generated interest in the public.

It's probably because of some reasons. Including just... really it's in a way not a remake or reboot. But a official movie adaptation or part 1 since it's not the whole book. I kind of feel Pennywise being part of pop culture I'm sorry I'm just surprised by so many people wanting to see this. Because to me I hardly see people get excited for anything horror related or that's just me.

Yet I was interested despite.....I keep having this mindset of horror related remakes reboots being considered the worst of the worst and seeing many. I was surprised at first people being excited for it. Yet I'm sounding stupid their must be a whole lot of other reasons that would make sense. Also advertising that's a big thing that generates interest at times.

Also I saw Jeremy Jahns review on Wednesday and I enjoy his content one of my favorite reviewers. I was surprised and seeing the Rotten Tomatos score last time I saw was a 90 percent. While I make my own opinions I was surprised by that.

Along with reading mainly found this in a comment that the director read the book five times I guess to get this film right. Yesterday on Rotten Tomatos I said that's dedication because that amazes me. Including the effort put into the film I'm just wow. Also the comment months ago that Stephen King himself said the movie was good.

Anyway I'm sorry I got off topic I'll start talking about the movie I honestly liked it. Including just seems like a stupid critical thing of me it starts kind of slow yet just really as the movie goes on it gets really good.

I'm gonna say this as well I honestly liked the characters mainly well the Loser's Club where it's these kids. Really all the kids act very well. Including at times their were moments that were really funny that eases off the stress of some parts. In fact including Jeremy Jahns mentioned this and the Rotten Tomatos score this film has quite some heart. Which I don't wanna sound stupid I kind of rarely see in horror related stuff basically movies. Theirs some character development and some sad moments that make you honestly care about what's going on.

I was quite interested on what's going on and the finale seriously the way it goes down I saw people actually clapping in my theater when this finale was going down. Because if seriously felt very full filling and seeing these characters after all the shit they've gone through you feel like your very happy.

That's something I now talked about now let's talked about Pennywise seriously the actor who plays him does such a good job. I feel his performance as the character I felt this fear and just the way he acted and moved. I thought it was very well done.

Including I'm gonna say seriously even my brother honestly he was just...meh to me he was bothersome yet going to this movie was his idea and before that me and my Nana talked about it possibly. Seriously ether it's just me not seeing horror movies in some time at times. Also new ones I'm kind of a pussy. Just like with Annabelle Creation I seriously had my right hand up at times. Including my brothers saying who's 5 years younger then me that it's okay or something. Including before seeing this movie he said he doesn't like scary movies and... I remembered I guess it was cause of a friend he said who read it and I guess he wanted to see it.

Yet really at times I felt frightened. But yeah their are certain jump scares and this is my first time seeing the film. But their are at times mainly it's with the characters I'm worried of just what's gonna pop up. I seem to sound stupid. But I wanted to talk about that.

In fact adding to that and well the film is quite brutal. In fact adding to this you actually see well in a way children dying on screen or facing certain stuff. Basically the film isn't holding back. Honestly from what I can think it wouldn't be the first film to do this. One film I can count is Aliens Vs Predator 2 Requiem yet let's just say well I hate that film very fucking much because of how fucking horrible it is.

But really also other horror films yet.... really teenagers are still considered children. Yet the way it's handled where it adds to it being disturbing and makes you feel uncomfortable. Because basically just seeing certain images and just the film doesn't hold back. Or that's just me it might yet okay maybe it didn't went all out all I don't know. I'm saying that because I feel someone might have a different opinion then me. Yet seriously it's brutal.

Also I kind of question well I'm a fan of a franchise FNAF where the lore includes murdered children.

Honestly just a lot of the film was good. Also the score and just...I liked it quite a bit. Including before that well mainly yesterday I read a comment and saw a thumbnail I thought I might of been spoiled. Yet I feel the ending wasn't spoiled for me because it was another scene.

Including will say along with the brutal quite gruesome I don't wanna sound stupid yet I'm warning you if you wanna see it beware of that. Their are certain scenes that might disturb you. Yet that's kind of the point of a horror film. Almost put yet again but I'm surprised just seriously the heart and develop

Well was kind of scared when honestly my bros friend and my bro just came into my room. Just his friend also he's my friend as well opened the door slowly. They were just looking yeah long ago my bro used my room to film something. Then they left I closed the door I'm getting off topic.

Really I enjoyed the film a lot. Including gonna spoil well it is the ending but also it happens before the credits start. So be warned but it's nothing huge yet just saying it's basically before the credits just informing audiences.

Before I saw the movie like the past few or two days or yeah few days. I found out this is the first part in a duoilgy of movies. With this film focusing on the view point of the characters as children. With the 2nd I'm gonna expect yeah it being focused on them as adults.

Including this made me think and reading from a comment that the book is huge even told my Nana after the movie. Also it made me think of Stephen King liking the film and it's not a simple remake reboot or...it's something else it some what is a remake reboot whatever but a more faithful to the source material and a lot of people seem to be happy.

If the book is that huge it's great the director and everyone else decided to do that. Including it helps out with the development of characters.

When the film ended it shows the title and then shows the words in front of the title chapter one. Then a guy that was some what in front of us to the right on some seats down said oh shit or something like that yeah he said oh shit. Not loudly but a simple oh shit it was silly and it seemed to be those words.

Also I remember now what I was gonna say in a interview I haven't seen the interview yet. But the actors I saw these words on Rotten Tomatos decided to choose actors for their older selves. Seems like something funny. I'm guessing maybe they might said some outrageous casting choices lol.

Other then that I had a good time almost left the word food ha. Really it's been quite a long time while I enjoyed Annabelle Creation and really interested in the Conjuring franchise. Seeing this film just it reminded me of other certain horror films that are considered masterpieces in some sorts. Basically ones that are very good.

Because I was seriously surprised by how well done it was because no offense probably because of certain films I watch I'm so used to some regular bullshit. Not all of them are bad. Yet really just....I think I shouldn't compare some slasher films to this. Yet the Universal Monsters films their originals seem amazing haven't watched them all yet. Remember seeing much of the original Frankenstein in high school but never finished the film.

Also slasher film their was a new Leatherface trailer before the film looks quite nice. Yet... probably because no offense my interest in slasher films including ones starting my favorite characters from films I generally liked it. Yet it could be good or enjoyable like actually good because this year has been quite good with horror films. Unless I've missed something.

So let me say this when I got home said hi to family a bit said the film was good or just I liked it a lot I think the 2nd part is more likely oh stomach, said it frightened me and agreed it was scary. Took a shower, and just was hanging out with family my cousin T and his girlfriend and their baby girl were here. I didn't wanna be awkward and not be around. Which is why I didn't make this sooner. The baby girl spit or yeah throw up on my mom behind her back before I could ask if I could hold her again. Including my mom was closing the blinds. Luckly it was all cleaned up. Then to hold the baby was nervous and she touched my beard....I was surprised. Yet was nervous and even said I thought I was strangling her but wasn't including my cousin T telling me how to hold her in some ways.

Also went through two shirts just...also washed my beard and...don't like my shirts being touched by people ha.

I think that's mostly all ha. Was thinking just ha almost left must but forget the tag just...ticks. Now almost left get just....I enjoyed the film and wanted to tell you. That's my reaction review shit ha must chill just ticks ha 9:19 edit 9:20 just mtv 1 on just and remote won't work again g just...oh dare to live is on just ticks ha