#sorry love got on my soapbox there

[leedee013]

NOT ONLY THAT but also this brings up the point once more of people forgetting that Neil is an incredibly unreliable narrator, which literally means that he is incredibly BIASED.

It should be self-explanatory that yes, of course most people are going to side with Neil and have a vehement distaste/hatred for Riko. It's the light that Neil shines his character in. And yes! He does terrible things! But... that's the point of the series. None of the characters in AFTG are necessarily "good" people, and they've ALL done some pretty messed up things.

But the world isn't divided into "good" and "bad." We're all a bit messed up. We make mistakes. We say and do things that hurt others and can be irreparable. But that doesn't mean that the good that people do should be discredited, or that the bad that people do should be ignored.

However, the way people talk about Riko is truly telling in whether they have actually accepted/learned the messaging of AFTG or not. TBH I think that the "happy ending" we get shouldn't be viewed as such. In fact, I think that we as an audience should be horrified by the fact that Neil watches Riko be shot point blank and practically celebrates in response.

One day I'll organize my thoughts on every AFTG character and analyze them to my heart's content but that's reserved for a week of vacation at a cabin with me, myself, my husbands, and my copy of the series. For now though, my stance:

It's disgusting how people talk about Riko as though he deserves the ending he received. It's especially disgusting when the same people who state this go out of their way to find every excuse in the book to explain why Andrew would do the things he does in the books, or try to twist him into a better person than he is. I love every character in this strange series, but that includes their "warts," so to say. Literally no character in All for the Game is free of a fair amount of trauma, and it impacts each character differently. Kind of like how it impacts every person you meet on the street in a different way.

So how does everyone who reads AFTG not come away realizing that approaching people with empathy and an attempt toward understanding can literally save lives? How is it possible that—in a series where the antagonist is used to show how the opposite can affect someone; how a life without empathy or forgiveness or compassion can wear someone down, especially when there's no visible sign of freedom—people don't understand that justifying the actions of one character and vilifying the actions of another is pointless?

So go ahead. Tell me about how Andrew nearly breaking Allison's neck is an example of him being a good brother, or about how Kevin probably deserved to also nearly have his neck broken by Andrew. Or about the time he teamed up with Matt's mother and allowed Matt to relapse. But explaining it away and using Andrew's own trauma as an excuse is exactly how abuse is ignored and brushed under the rug.

TL;DR just because your favorite character has a sad backstory and trauma does not mean their actions are excusable, and does not give you the moral high ground you think it does when you in turn refuse to acknowledge the trauma and sad backstory of characters you don't like

so we connected the dots (shit) andrew stans will excuse explain and rationalize every little of his behaviours based on abuse and trauma but when character like riko is shown to have abuse and trauma suddenly his actions are not explainable or possible to be rationalized the same way Even tho the mechanism is the same and so its much easier to erase any damage or outside influence that might have shaped riko I'm sorry if you want to write me some long reply and argue with me but i simply do not care.

[joosthead]

was legit gonna post this yesterday 8/18 after seeing the tiktok comment about him and his autism but decided against it but wow i can’t believe it needs to be said

also one more thing is that joost turning off mentions and asking people not to follow him around are literally … the most tame boundaries anyone in that position could take …??? 😭😭 he could literally stop making music, he could delete his social medias, he could turn off his comments completely and never interact with fans ever but he doesn’t.

he is obviously capable of communicating his boundaries and the few he does communicate people disrespect it’s laughable

edit from today w what he just posted: ​such a damned if you do damned if you don’t situation and it’s so sad seeing it happen to such new and promising artists(joost + chappell roan + ethel cain + mitski + probably tons of others) people saying that they’re just not cut out for fame if they react like this… i promise you fame wasn’t the goal when these people started making music and even if it was no one deserves to be harassed and stalked at all

[zannolin]

Mia Winters 🤝 Ashley Graham

Being too amazing for people to comprehend.

:)

maybe some people...but the real ones get it.

genuinely it's so wild to me as someone who got into resident evil without ever really being exposed to the fandom beforehand and watched playthroughs/learned stuff while very isolated from it and am Just Now getting into the fandom and fan-content to see how like. widely hated they are? because, what, they don't like ashley's game mechanic and a bunch of people can't seem to comprehend the way the ethan is molded and mia knew reveal is supposed to totally recontextualize what we see of her behavior in village? um....okay lol.

and here is where i started typing out an entire rant about why it makes zero sense to me that people hate on mia so much despite the fact that she is pointedly not written as the villain of the games and ethan clearly loves her a lot and she clearly loves him a lot, but then backspaced it all because actually if i go down that road i will never stop. one day i'll do an art stream again where i just sit and rant for 2 hours about it. just know: i think about this so much and it makes absolutely Zero sense to me why people hate mia when she's such an easy to understand and CLEARLY sympathetically written character. RRRRR.

and then ppl who hate ashley bc she's "whiny" and "helpless" ok well what would YOU be doing if you had been kidnapped, infected with a parasite in an incredibly violating way, were essentially a ticking time bomb, and had no training in weapons or defense to deal with this shit MUCH LESS while in a totally different country. um. i think you would be begging for help too. and half the battle is just her game mechanic it's not like it's her fault jfc.

[lumibuns-blog]

First time with Leon S. Kennedy<3

-just to be clear it's Leon's first time but not yours-

I'm back on my whiny sub Leon soapbox because he is perfect in every way🤞

It's not as if Leon hadn't wanted to do things with someone else, it's just his life hadn't really allowed it, between missions and saving the world, he hadn't found someone he was willing to share that moment with until he met you.

You made him feel things he hadn't felt before... a stirring heat that he at first didn't recognize but came to love. How looking at you, your curves, your face, the way his head began to spin when you bit your lips and sneaked a smirk at him, because you new how flustered it made him.

Actually you seemed to know everything about him, what made him loose his mind.

That's exactly what got him into this situation.

His hands ghosted over your ass, fingers just barely touching it through your silk dress. He was kneeling on his knees in front of you, his chin resting on your stomach so he was looking up at you, and that same devious smile that rested on your face.

He had been attempting to put his shoes on so you two could go for a night out, but seeing him in a loose button down shirt gave you other plans.

You moved your hand down to cup his cheek and stroke it the your thumb.

"What do you want" you asked simply

"Wha-what?" Leon breathed

"Do you want this?"

"I-I'm sorry I don't understand" Leon had an idea of what you were trying say and prayed to god that he was right.

"Do you want me?" You asked a final time

Leon's eyes widened and his breath hitched

"So bad" he replied breathlessly

"Good" you smirked turning away and causing him to stumble slightly

He looked up at you, eyes wide

"Well what are you waiting for?" You asked turning back around to face him

He immediately scrambled to his feet, kicking off the shoes he had been attempting to put on what felt like hours ago.

"Wait just a second" he began, standing behind you "I mean I think I know what you mean but it's just that Idon'twanttomakeyouuncomfortableor anythi-hmmpf!"

You cut his off by crashing your lips against his, locking your heels around his torso and grinding yourself against his noticeably hard cock, throwing your weight on him and causing him to stumble backwards and fall onto the couch.

"I though a special agent would be better with his balance" you teased

"I-I normally am it's just-ah! Fuuuck, y-you're hips..." he stammered

"I know handsome" you chuckled

You felt his cock twitch underneath you 'had such a light comment really turned him on?' You wonder

You slowly rolled you hips over his, grinding you bare cunt over his clothed tip, as you had forgone underwear underneath your dress.

"Ah! Mmh-" he stammered again

You began to slowly move off his lap,

"Wai-wait- n-need you- please" his choked out, unable to stand the sudden absence of pressure

"Be patient" you smiled, your voice like a song that made him loose all sense of reason

You slipped the straps of your dress off your shoulders and slowly let it fall to the floor, revealing you fully nude figure to him

There was moment of silence before

"Wow." Leon said breathlessly, his mouth wide

'This man look so serious but is acting like such a nerd' you giggled to yourself

"What's so funny" he questioned, unable to take his eyes from your tits

"Oh nothing" you sighed moving back to his lap

You hovered you hips over his not giving him the pressure he so obviously desired. You watched as he instinctively began to buck his hips upward, craving your touch.

You decided to give him what he wanted, dropping you hips down suddenly onto him.

"Oh sh-s-shit" he looked as if he was holding his breath before he let it out and his hips convulsed slightly underneath you.

"I didn't know you were so sensitive" you teased

"I'm not-it's just- it's y-you" he was so cute when he could barely get the words out

You suddenly grabbed his hand and cupped it around one of your breasts.

His breath hitched again, he seemingly froze, hand twitching and eyes locked onto your chest for several moments.

"Ya know you can-" you placed your hand back on his and guided him to gently squeeze you

His ruff hands felt nurturing yet strong, you couldn't help but slip out a small moan

His eyes immediately locked onto you face, eyes wide, as if he was in a trance, he immediately squeezed you again and moaned when you gave the same reaction.

Gaining sudden confidence he moved his mouth to your other fit and began to slowly lick around its center

"Fu-ck Leon what are you-doing" you asked, surprised he even knew what to do

He released your breast from his mouth to look up at you and breathlessly stammer "pl-please- I want to hear you- uh-moan like that a-again"

"Mmmhp" you hummed letting him get back to work and relish in all the noises you were making for a while before you shifted back removing him from his new found heaven, between you tits

"Nhmmmh" he whined at the loss of contact once again

"Be patient" you hushed once more moving your hands to fumble with the zipper of his dress pants

"Wha-what are you-?"

You cut him off "don't you want to fuck me?" You said promptly

He looked at you once more with those wide eyes "s-so soooo bad"

"Then get those pants off" you smirked

He immediately rushed to sink his pants down to his ankles taking his boxers with them and allowing his fully stiffened cock to spring free

He groaned as you looked at the precum beading from his head

You positioned yourself about him, hovering your cunt just above his tip

Leon looked up at you like you were god, at that moment, feeling you was all that mattered

You lowered yourself so his tip was barley coated in you slik

"Oh god- f- mrmpff- p- please" he cried, throwing his hands back into the top of the couch

"I'm not going to tell you again Leon, be patient" you smiled devilishly

"Y-yes- anything, I promise-just-just"

You suddenly dropped fully into him, breathing out a long moan as his size stretched you perfectly.

Leon threw his head back "ah-ah- oh fuck- you feel-" he could barely get the words out "fuck you're so w-warm- you're squeezing my cock- ah!" He yelped as you began to rock back and forth slowly

"P-please- just wait-" he breathed

"Is something wrong?" You asked concerned

"N-no it's just...you feel so, soooo good- I- I don't want to cum b-before you" he admitted, embarrassed "it's like- I mean - this is better- than ANYTHING" he grunted

"Oh Leon" you smiled leaning in close to his ear so your breath tickled at his neck "that's exactly what I want"

"Hah-ah fuck-" Leon started as you began to move your hips at an unrelenting pace

Relishing in the fact that he seemed to choke every time you arched your back.

You could feel his tip kissing your cervix every time you sunk back down onto his length, and your own release building up inside of you.

By the looks of it, Leon was lost in the pleasure, stringing together versions of your name and every curse word he could think of

"Pleasepleasepleasepleas--let me cum- ah- you feel- so fucking good- mmhh- squeezing me like that" he cried out

You leaned towards his ear once more, "I want you to cum baby, cum with me"

That's all it took,

"Ah-ah-ah cumming" he said as his hips faltered and he began to shoot rope after rope of his load into you.

Feeling his hot cum made pushed you over the edge, and you drenched his cock, causing his to lurch forward and wrap his arms around you to pull you against his bare chest.

You both sat there breathlessly, pressing against each other. After what was to Leon "not long enough" you slid yourself off of him, watching him shiver and gasp as you did.

You sat there on his lap, taking in his fucked out expression, ecstasy written all over his face.

After a moment he brought his arms up to you and pulled you into a warm embrace on your shared couch,

"D-did I do good?" He asked quietly

"Are you kidding, you were perfect" you smile at him "maybe I'll let you be on top next time" you giggle

"Really" he gaped at you, honest excitement in his eyes

"Really"



[gunpowder-gemini]

Yeah if you read any of OPs bullshit you get a very good picture of why I left the church. "God is a God of love" my ass. God gave humans free will but tortures them forever if they don't choose him. The wages of sin are death but why? If He is omnipotent the way I was taught and he truly makes the universe and all it's laws then HE decided that eternal torture was a good punishment for *checks notes* two girls kissing. Or people having sex "wrong". Or telling a lie. ETERNAL torture is what HE decided the punishment should be for 70-80 years of being good and kind but not believing in Him. OP says God didn't smash everything for our failure to live up to his perfect standards and then conveniently forgets the flood. One family and 2 of every animal surviving doesn't mean that wasn't EXACTLY God hitting the reset button and killing trillions of people and animals. Jesus didn't have to die either. God could've just straight up forgiven people without requiring death, because he's all powerful. But that wouldn't have made his point, which from everything He's done is a loud and clear "Love me or suffer."

I'm not knowledgeable enough (or have the spoons to dig up sources) to talk extensively on the horrible islamophobia and antisemitism displayed here but this is a very good example of the type of lies the American churches are peddling about other religions to make their followers ok with holy war and colonialism. It's a very black and white extremist "us vs them" mentality that bends over backwards to paint anyone not Christian (and even other Christians that aren't your church's flavor of Christian) as simultaneously an enemy to destroy and a poor lost soul in need of subjugating saving. It falls apart the second you have a nice conversation with people of different faiths about their faith. From the conversations I personally have had with people in other religions, their God(s) are not the Christian God which is why they're DIFFERENT RELIGIONS. In my opinion that's GOOD.

Anyway I don't have a good way to end this. If there truly is a judgement day coming where God will stand before us He should hope we are more merciful than Him.

“At least it's not ferociously attacking God quite as directly as Steven Universe did…”

Not that I’m surprised by this statement, but can you elaborate on this? Kinda intrigued by your thoughts on Steven Universe.

Okie dokie, you’re not the only one who has asked me about this, so I suppose I’ll poke the hornet’s nest. 😅 I haven’t talked about this before because I assumed that everyone who wanted to hear my kinds of opinions on stories wasn’t watching or interested in Steven Universe.

It’s like asking vegetarian if they enjoyed a turkey dinner. The turkey dinner was so obviously not made for vegetarians to enjoy, so why would the vegetarian even bother analyzing the turkey?

But I think if some people are asking me why I think Steven Universe is anti-God (of the Bible) its because maybe they don’t know what the turkey is. Not completely. (Maybe not you, because like you said, you’re not surprised by my comment.) So I’ll explain my thoughts on Steven Universe.

If you’re just following me because you liked some stuff I posted, but didn’t realize that I’m a Bible-believing Christian and don’t want to hear about it, unfollow me now. Because I’m going to talk about some hot button issues here and the trolls will come out.

Steven Universe is really well-done. The jokes are funny, the writing is believable, the characters have great chemistry, great design, the concept is fascinating, the slow build-up and reveal of the plot elements is great. But when you watch the throne room scene in the last episode of Season 5 “Change Your Mind,” it’s alarmingly clear how much the whole show is not just settling for defending and championing the LGBTQ+ worldview—it goes all the way to attacking what Christians believe, on the other side.

Anything that’s pro-LGBTQ+ is doing that by default, but this show goes out of its way to do that.

You have to understand: God created and designed us. Deeper than that; He created and designed romantic relationships, and invented marriage. He didn’t just create love—He is love. So when humans come along and do what we’ve always done since the fall, and say, “I’d rather define what Your thing is and how it works for myself, God,” it’s not only an incredible slap in the face, it’s an attack on God’s actual identity—and it’s destructive for us and the people around us. Like a fish insisting it can breathe oxygen.

But Steven Universe goes beyond that. It knows that the Christian worldview is it’s biggest opposition. It digs right down to the heart of the worldview-battle. LGBTQ+ worldview says, “I should get to love what I want and be who I am, because I’m me. Love is love. (By which I mean, any action or relationship I choose to call love is love, because I’m the one calling it that.)”

Biblical worldview says “No, wait, you shouldn’t base your decisions on you alone; what you want changes day to day, and you’re broken, so you can’t ever be satisfied based on what you want—the Bible says God made you for something, and you rejected that, and it broke you. You’re not how you’re meant to be: even what you want and what you think love is is twisted up and can hurt you and others. But if you submit to God He’ll help you, He’ll fix what’s broken and give you new life by making you how you were supposed to be: He’ll live in you and through you.”

Are we beginning to get the picture?

See, the whole thing with the opposing views between LGBTQ+ and Christian people is as old as time. It’s not a new debate. It’s Satan and Eve in the garden. She says, “This is not how God said things should be,” and Satan says, “Are you sure that’s what He said? He knows if you do this thing, you’ll be like Him. You’ll be god: you’ll get to decide ‘how things should be’ for yourself.”

He lied and said that disobedience would satisfy her. That she knew what her own heart needed better than the God that made it did. That the very act of being imperfect would make her godlike.

And then Steven Universe comes along and says “if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hotdogs.”

And has a cast of created being characters who’s imperfections (Garnet’s forbidden “love,” Pearl’s obsession, Amethyst’s insecurity) are supposedly “the best thing about them; what makes them who they are.”

And has a main character who used to be a part of the god-like creator relationship, but used her power to come down to earth and completely change who she is into a fully different person.

And has a godlike Creator character who claims she “doesn’t need” her created beings (just like the God of the Bible) but they all have a little part of their creator in them so she has to repress their imperfections; she holds them all to a standard that’s impossible to reach called “perfection” and punishes them when they don’t meet it even though it hurts them to try; she expects them all to do what they were created by her for; she fixes them when they can’t meet her standard by shining her light through them and making them extensions of their Creator.

And has a main character who argues, fights back, tries to stop her, and is answered with lines that sound surprisingly like what LGBTQ+ people hear when Christians argue with them: “you’re only making things worse; you’re just deceiving yourself; even while you resist it your actual light can’t help shining through,” etc.

White Diamond just wants everything to be perfect. Like her. She just wants her created beings to “be themselves.” But what she means is, be how she created them to be.

And she’s the bad guy. She’s playing God in this show, and Rebecca Sugar is saying, “If God is telling us that can only be happy by being perfect, as He is perfect, and doing what He created us to do, then He’s wrong. Our imperfections are what make us special—unique—individuals—free—and there is nobody who has the right to take that freedom away from us, not even out creator!”

And you know what?

If God were like White Diamond, like Rebecca Sugar believes Him to be, Steven Universe would be right.

But He is NOT.

God is not a dictator who forces us to conform to a standard of perfection and then smashes us when we don’t meet it. He is a King who made us perfect to begin with, and we rejected him, because He allowed us to do that. He knew that true love was love that had to be chosen, and He wanted us to love Him by choice, so he gave us the option. But Rebecca Sugar doesn’t understand—there was never “Choose God or Choose Yourself.” There was only, “Choose God or Choose Nothing.” There was nothing except God. Then He created everything. There is no version of reality where you have something better than God, or even slightly less good but different, to pick. You’re not jumping from one ship into a smaller one, but at least it’s yours—you’re jumping from one ship into a void, and then complaining that there’s no other ship. That’s humans. That’s not God. / White Diamond didn’t make her creations perfect (Amethyst) and she didn’t make them for love. She made them for power. That’s not the God of the Bible.

Even when we did choose to try and love ourselves instead of God, and therefore warped our ability to perfectly love at all, He didn’t smash us. True, everything fell and was cursed, which is exactly what He warned us would happen if we chose it, but it was a natural consequence of breaking ourselves. And then He didn’t leave us that way. He didn’t give up on us. And He certainly didn’t just zap us, snap His fingers, quick-fix it and turn us all into robots who are extensions of Him, who say they love Him but only because it’s His voice puppeting us to say it.

No. He came to us, chose to give up His life at the exact point on the timeline when Romans, masters in the art of slow, humiliating, torturous death, would be the ones to carry out His crucifixion, and saved us Himself. Through the sacrifice of His own life. And even then, we still have a choice. We get to choose to accept that incredible self-sacrifice when we don’t deserve it, and be given new life and a relationship with the Creator who knows us and loves us better than we can love ourselves or receive love from others—OR we can just keep stubbornly insisting that our slavery to the opposite of what God wants is somehow freedom, and our twisted versions of love are genuine, and we’re not broken, and die like that. Die broken creatures who lived their whole lives stomping their feet and screaming “I’m not a creature, I’m a god!”

White Diamond sacrifices nothing, because Rebecca Sugar doesn’t know the God of the Bible. She just knows her idea of Him. She’s never actually gotten to know Him. If she had, she’d learn how silly and twisted her idea is.

Because you know what, yeah, if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs. But people aren’t pork chops. And hot dogs have flavor (not better than pork chops) but they are awful for you.

Christians aren’t perfect cuts of meat with no individuality or flavor. Just because we all know and love the same God doesn’t mean we have no personalities. It just means we don’t think so freaking much about what we are, or who we get to be, or what we like and want. Jeez, what a self-centered, narcissistic, self-obsessed way to live. She plays Steven like he’s this wonder-child, innocent and full of heart, who encourages his friends to love and keep trying. But honestly?

This is very pretty animation but it’s not real. Steven looks happy hugging Steven but self-love doesn’t ultimately get you that.

That’s all based on the premise that what he’s encouraging them to do is actually good, and will make them happy, and will help them love better. And it just won’t. Not in real life. That’s not how any of this works. Self-love is just self-obsession. And that is a sure-fire way to hurt you, and everyone around you.

You’ll never be free by choosing to run to a worse master. You’ll never be satisfied with your crappy attempts at loving yourself, because you were made to be loved flawlessly and forever by someone who is Love Himself.

And choosing to identify with your imperfections doesn’t make you uniquely you. It just makes you exactly like every other human being marching in the same line since the Fall.

White Diamond’s not relational. She’s up high and distant. That’s not God. He made you to be in relationship with Him. He loves you, totally and perfectly, and He proved it by sacrificing for You.

So yeah. That’s the problem with Steven Universe. Come get me, SU fans.

[emmyrosee]

okay so, this evening has not been fun for me, so ofc I’m gonna try coping via escapism 🤩

and as always you are absolutely NOT obligated to write it. I’m so serious, if you don’t want to there’s absolutely zero pressure emmy, I’d completely understand one hundred percent.

very long story short, I got my grades back for this semester and despite doing soooo much better overall this year than my first year and not failing a single class this time around, unless I get a miracle it’s looking like I’m going to have to be asked to withdraw from my university for a whole year ☹️

and as someone who got straight As from elementary til my last year of high school/made school my whole life, this is just an enormous blow to any self confidence I had finally built back up. I was doing better mentally and finally feeling a bit like myself again and I’ve just felt so sick with anxiety all evening because I don’t even know what to do anymore. If they decide to ask me to leave, it’ll make my chances of medical school even slimmer than they already were and I can’t help but feel like a bit of a failure and like I’ve just ruined my future despite knowing it’s not all true and I still have options :(

it’s so hyper specific and I’m so so so sorry abt that, but would it be possible for some comfort + tons of fluff with kuroo possibly? I just want to be babied a bit by this fictional man LOL. I feel like he’d know exactly what to do and how to get my mind off of it until I inevitably get that email :(

anon <3

My love, I am so sorry you’re having to go through this, and I am here, to PERSONALLY, tell you that you are far from a failure, and you should still be proud of yourself for getting so far. It’s okay to have bumps like this that halt your dreams, and it doesn’t make you any less deserving of continuing to chase those dreams. And hey! Use me as an example! I went from being a mechanic for four years and being fired for being so terrible (yes that is an actual thing that happened) then I went to college for writing; and now I’m a licensed esthetician with a focus in makeup artistry! There is no such thing as a dead end, no such thing as a closed room, just keep treating yourself gently and reminding yourself that this is far from over, your dream is still more than obtainable with some time and it is more than okay.

Ahem. Let me get off my soapbox PFFFF-

——-

Last night, you refreshed your emails who knows how many times, staring at your computer screen on the verge of hyperventilating for what felt like hours- and it might have been; your brain can’t process how long it was right now.

Your bottom lip was tight between your teeth, the hand on the mouse pad trembling, waiting in anticipation, tight with nerves. Your other rested a fist on your lap, waiting for the results and occasionally wiping a rogue tear that falls.

There’s a soft rapping on the door, but you don’t turn to face it. You merely keep refreshing.

“Hey,” tetsuro whispers, and you hear his feet padding into the room, and when he gets next to you, he crouches down. Once again, you can’t spare him a glance. “Any updates?”

You stay silent. He winces, “I’ll take that at a no…” he lays a warm hand on your back and gently rubs it in circles, “it’s okay baby. We’ll figure it out, we always do.”

“Tetsuro, please,” you whimper, not quite in the mood for a pep talk. “I’m going to puke right now, my life is in flames and crumbling around me, I’m so nervous, please. Save the pep talk, I can’t handle it right now.”

“I'm sorry,” he soothes. He doesn’t say anything further, just rubbing your back in slow, firm circles with his palm, blinking his golden eyes up at you warmly, lovingly.

You feel your body cramp from being under his loving touch, suddenly dawning on you just how long you've been sitting in the chair, inert and unwilling to peel your eyes from the email inbox. You suddenly become hyperaware of how your legs feel numb, your fingers are cramped and your eyes are burning. It's the first time in hours you've taken a break from your refreshing to scrub at your eyes, breeding a wetness to try and soothe the sting.

You hear Tetsuro sigh, "why... don't we go to bed, angel?"

"No."

"But-"

"I can't," you whimper. "Not now. Not yet-" your breathing picks up as you look at him in despair, chest fluttering and heart pounding as you try to breathe. He furrows his brows and shushes you softly, big hands moving to cradle your cheeks and force you to look at him.

"Baby," he says softly, but firm enough to ground you. "It's late. They're not going to send it this late at night. And if they do, we'll deal with it when we wake up tomorrow. But I'm almost certain they're not going to send it to you this late. I promise, okay?"

You let out a shaky sigh and look at the time: 22:43. It's far too late to be thinking, to be worrying, and you'd much rather breakdown in the comfort of your own bed, than alone in this wooden chair.

But you do know that, no matter what, Tetsuro is going to be right next to you, rubbing your back and cradling you close.

When you say nothing, Tetsuro slowly stands up and scoops you in his big, strong arms, "come on, angel face. Let's get some rest." You thunk your head against his chest and fist your fingers into the collar of his shirt, letting him carry you to the bathroom where he plops you down on the countertop.

He grabs your toothbrush and some toothpaste, and gently tells you to open, which you sleepily do. He's extra careful, making sure to get every tooth he can, scrubbing softly as to not make you uncomfortable. Silence, save for the bristles on the toothbrush, fills the room, the corner of Tetsuro's tongue sticking out in focus.

"Okay. Spit," he says, moving so you can comfortably turn your head and spit the froth out. Skincare comes next, and his touch is even softer as he massages in every product you use.

"Good girl," he whispers, picking you back up to carry you to bed. "My good girl. Good, brave girl..."

You drift off in his arms at his praise, not even feeling the way he gets you into pajamas or gets you under the covers, the exhaustion of the constant high of anxiety weighing you down.

Waking up this morning, your bones feel like bricks under the wall of your muscles, barely able to move under the force of it all. Your skin feels like paper, so hyper aware of it now that you’ve had the time to come down from your anxious state. You blink up at your ceiling, eyelids tight as you do, and you continue to stare and let your body wake up molecule by molecule, inch by inch. You feel it coming to life, and you slowly bring your hands up to press the heels of your palms into your eyesockets to force the rest of the sleep out of your eyes.

When your hand then drops next to you, you feel yourself grow saddened at the lack of warmth. Tetsuro’s been out of bed long enough to let his side cool down, and it makes you want to cry at the idea of being alone right now.

You never should’ve shut him down last night. All he wanted to do was help, and you shut him up and made him feel bad, now he’s not even in bed with you anymore, and you feel tears sting at your eyes again, this time out of anxiety of making him upset, and-

“Ah, you’re up.”

Your guilty, howling mind shuts up as soon as tetsuro’s body makes its way into the doorway, smiling and stirring his tea with a spoon. “Good morning, babygirl.” He takes a step into the bedroom and before you know it, he’s at your side, sitting on the bed next to you. He uses his free arm to wrap around you, but not pull you to his chest. “Did you sleep okay?”

“No,” you whimper, voice croaky. He nods and lets his thumb rub up and down the curve of your shoulder. “I’m sorry I yelled at you last night.”

His brow cocks in confusion, “huh?”

Now, finally, you turn to face him, “I snapped at you… I told you to-“

“You told me you didn’t want a pep talk,” he chuckles, shaking his head. “That’s okay. You’re allowed to tell me that my words might not be the most helpful. I’m not going to get mad at you for that. It’s not like you told me to shut my ugly ass up- you’d never do that, I’m too pretty.”

This, for the first time in what feels like days, has you crack a smile. You let out a small laugh, breathy and barely there, but he smiles proudly all the same, pulling you in for a hug now. “You’re a goof,” you murmur.

“And you, need to eat something,” he whispers against your head, and you deflate in his arms again. “Don’t you protest me, you know you have to eat something.”

“‘M not hungry,” you say.

“I know, but you didn’t eat last night, and I let you sleep in-“ at his words, your eyes flick to the clock on your nightstand, red numbers flicked onto 10:24. “You have to have something.”

“But-“

“I know,” he says. “Do you want something sweet, or savory?”

20 questions. It’s something he does after a fit of your anxiety to try and make your life just a hair easier, decisions quicker, and your day just a bit brighter because you’re getting exactly what you want. He claims he used to do it with kenma, hence why he’s so good at it.

“Uhm…” you shrug, “why not both?”

“Both?” He echos. “Okay. Do you want fruit?” You nod. He nods with you. “Okay. How about a bagel?” You nod again. “Okay. With some cream cheese?” You shake your head and he clicks his tongue, “butter?” You shake your head again, “okay. Uhmmmm-“

“I want to do it,” you mumble, and he presses a kiss to your head.

“You sure? Because I can whip something up-“

“I have to do it. I have to put the toppings on my bagel.”

He nods a final time and squeezes you close, “okay. If you need any help deciding, I’m right here, okay? I’ll be cutting your fruit.”

You hum and slowly swing your legs out of the bed, stretching and mewling from the force. When your hand instinctively darts for your phone, he clicks his tongue, "leave it. You don't need it right now."

"But-"

"I told your family to text me if they need you. Your phone is on do not disturb. Leave it there, babe." He swings his own long legs over and extends a hand out to you, wiggling his fingers enticingly for you to hold. When you grab three of them, he smiles and slowly leads you into the kitchen.

The news is playing on tv at a low volume, there’s a discarded blanket on the couch, and you quirk a brow in intrigue, “tetsu, how did you know I was awake?”

He shrugs, “my life shifts when you wake up for the day. I feel it in my soul.”

“Ew.”

“Shaddup.”

You laugh again, smiling a weak smile as you plop down at the table. He makes his way to begin cooking your bagel, popping it in the toaster before making his way to cut up your fruit. You sigh and play with your fingers, wondering if you should make conversation, or let silence rule, and you sigh shakily before opening your mouth to speak. “What’re you going to have?”

“I, my love, already ate some toast with some apple jelly and butter.”

“Oh.”

“But I’m going to pick at some fruit with you, because I don’t want you eating alone.”

“You don’t have to do that-“

“I know,” he hums. Then, he turns to face you with a smile. “I want to.”

Your heart flutters as you smile at him, looking down at your fingers to distract yourself. Usually, you’d be scrolling through your social media, checking apps and emails, but since he forbade it, you’re left to listen to him sing softly and the newscaster drone on and on. After a few short minutes, your bagel pops, and he plates it with some sliced fruit and places it in front of you, before kissing your head and grabbing various toppings for it.

Breakfast drags, but in a comforting way, where it drips by so slow like honey, syrupy sweet as Tetsuro talks. He talks about everything and anything, about the game Kenma's going to stream for charity, and the funny meme he sent the streamer- or funny to Tetsuro at least, as allegedly Kenma left him on read. You find yourself eating at his company, and before you know it, your bagel, juice, and fruit is gone. You look down at your plate in surprise, and he wiggles his brows at you, "feel better, angel?"

"Uhm... yeah," you say, almost confused. "I didn't think I was that hungry."

"I don't care how you thought, I'm glad you ate." He stands out of his chair with a stretch, "you still hungry? I can make you another-"

"No," you sigh. "I... I really should check my email-"

"Not until I give you a bath and a massage."

You quirk your brow, "you're going to give me a bath and a massage?"

"Of course," he chuckles, "If you're too anxious to give yourself some self care, that's plenty fine, but that means I'm going to give you self care." He shrugs, "those are just the rules."

"Do you even know how to give a massage?"

"Bokuto and I used to massage each other after practice all the time." Your brow quirks higher, and he holds his hand up, "don't ask. Just trust me."

"Can Bokuto give me a massage?" You tease, giggling at the way he gives you a fake smile and a high pitched "no," to tease you.

He presses a kiss to your head, "I'm going to go run the bath, why don't you get changed and meet me in there?"

"Okay," you hum. He nudges your nose with a finger before stalking down the hall to the bathroom. When your hear the tub running, you make a dash towards the small office room for your laptop, nervous to check your email, and-

"I took it out!" He calls, followed by a cackle.

"You're an ass!"

"It's your favorite ass, though!"

You grumble and make your way to the bedroom to get undressed per his request, stealing one of his oversized shirt to conceal yourself until the tub is filled. You stalk into the bathroom and blush under the way his eyes glaze up and down you, "fuck, I love you in my clothes."

"Back off, I'm about to bathe," you snort.

"Yeah, but I can still find you hot." As the tub fills, he adds a scoop of epsom salt, and a splash of bathing bubbles, large bubbles brewing on the surface of the water. You smile and watch them shape and form, the sweet smell filling the air around you. You feel excitement brewing inside of you as you watch him turn off the water and push himself up and off the floor with the edge of the tub, "should do it, baby. I'm gonna let you soak, I'll set up for a little massage after, make you nice and comfortable.

"Okay," you mewl. He presses a kiss to your lips and makes his way to the door. "Hey, Tetsu?" You say, reaching for his hand, which he takes happily. "Thank you."

"Anything for you, babygirl," he whispers. "You know that." He pinches your cheek and leaves the bathroom for you to relax.

The bath water is warm as you soak in the epsom salt, feeling your muscles loosen and relish in the combination. You bury your face in the bubbles and close your sleepy eyes, letting the smells lull you into a state of relaxation. Your head is still heavy with anxiety, but your heart is full of love and warmth for your boyfriend.

You're not sure how long you were floating in silence, lost in the bubbles and oils, but he gently knocks on the door, "you okay? Haven't heard you for a bit."

"Yes," you mewl, stretching. The water is now chilly and the bubbles are mostly gone and you rub your hands over the surface of the water. "Is the massage stuff ready?" You tease, looking at your hands and wincing at how pruny they are.

"It's been ready, I didn't want to bother you," he snickers. “Come out when you’re ready, just wanted to make sure you were alive.”

“I’m alive, I’m coming,” you call, getting out of the tub to dry yourself. You take your time drying off, trying to enjoy the last little bit of warmth clinging to your skin. You leave the bathroom to get dressed into some clean pajamas, smiling as tetsuro busies himself with the whole massage set up. “Candles? You spoil me.”

“There’s a lot of smells going on,” he says with a face.

“I know I can tell,” you hum. Getting dressed, you slip on a pair of his boxers and a shirt, and you make your way to the bed to wait for him.

“Alright-“ he pats the bed for you to crawl on top of. “C’mere, let me pamper you.”

You giggle, “you have been pampering me!” Regardless, you swing your legs onto the bed and lay on your stomach, squeaking as he straddles you and cracks his knuckles.

He lays a massive paw on each of your shoulders, using his thumb to splay and press the muscle under his force, and your eyes cross in the middle and flutter in relaxation. They work in circles to press into the muscles, before laying flat on your back to dig his heel into before his fingers press and roll back up to your shoulders.

Thick fingers roll over the knot in your right shoulder, no doubt from the refreshing of the page for hours on end last night. You whine and bury your face in the bed, and he hums, "I know beautiful, I almost got it."

"Feels good," you murmur.

"Told you it would," he says softly. “You need to trust me.”

“I think I trust you too much,” you snicker. Tetsuro says nothing, merely offering you a laugh through his nose as he continues with the massage.

Your body twitches as the tips of his fingers dig into your side as part of the massage, but your snicker doesn’t go unnoticed by your boyfriend. “Something wrong?” He hums, doing it again.

"Tetsu!" You giggle, reaching behind you to try and stop his wrists, "that tickles!"

"That's crazy, I'm not tickling you," he snickers, and it's hard to tell if he's lying or not. "I mean, I can tickle you, if you want-"

"No!" You squeal, and your laughter turns choppy as he uses the sides of his hands to playfully chop up and down your back, making your body instinctively let out bumpy noises from your mouth.

“Quite an attitude on ya today,” he taunts, before hooking his fingers up under your arms, making you shriek, “okay, now I’m tickling you.”

Your mind spins from the sensory change, the signals in your brain cross, but one thing is for certain:

The email is far from the front of your mind.

And it feels good to laugh.

[aritany]

it feels like yesterday i was posting my first ever WIP intro—this is that story.

today DEAD GIRLS DON’T SAY SORRY is out in the world, and i am officially a published author!

i love this story and everything it means, and i can’t wait for nora and julia and dillan to meet the readers that need them.

at its heart, DEAD GIRLS is and always has been about navigating grief without closure. how do you heal when the person who hurt you is out of reach? how do you heal when that person will never say sorry?

today is wildly significant to me not only because my debut novel launches, but also because on this day two years ago, feb 6 2022, my whole life imploded. i lost a spouse and two sets of parents in one fell swoop when i refused to go back in the closet regarding my gender identity, and while i’d expected the road would be long and bumpy, it was a shock that so many were unwilling to walk it with me.

i never imagined starting over at 22, let alone while struggling with chronic illness and no savings. but i did it, and DEAD GIRLS was with me the whole way, for better or for worse. slowly, i got to rebuild a family who who have supported me through it all. i’m so grateful to all of you here on writeblr who have showed endless kindness and support—more than you’ll ever know.

i’ll get off this soapbox in a second, but a last word: the grief does get easier to walk with. to those who have been hurt by friendships that were supposed to protect you: there are people worth trusting around every corner. to my fellow queer kids orphaned by bigotry: i stand with you & beside you & that hurt might never go away, but it does fade with time.

be you. be free. live joyously🩷💛

oh, P.S. you can support my journey (and future books) and buy it here ;)

[justmystyles]

Did you see the videos of Harry at the airport in Barcelona (I think?)? I hate people pushing and yelling for his attention ugh. But I got an idea for a fic. Plus size reader happens to be at the airport at the wrong time and gets pushed because of these people,Harry sees that and just goes into protective mode, they get to know each other and fluff at the end? Or his gf getting pushed and falling down and protective Harry

Anyways sorry if all of this doesn't make sense. English isn't my first language 🙈 but I love your style of writing and got this idea and just had to share it with you

The Battle in Barcelona

read my other work here

pairing: Harry Styles x plus size reader

word count: 1.6k

warnings: a couple of curse words, but other than that, it's tame.

a/n: thank you so much for this ask, my friend! it absolutely made sense, and i appreicate you thinking of me to write this.

i absolutely did see the videos. totally heartbreaking. as much as i'll miss him, our boy needs a break, and i'm so happy that he's got that coming up soon. he's so kind and generous to his fans, and i know a lot of us get that and appreciate him for it, but there are also people who just use it as an opportunity to take even more and it just makes me so angry. anyways, i'm going to get off my soapbox and let you read what i came up with now. i hope you like it! 🖤

tags: @allthelovehes @ameerakane20 @ash-craze @bethanysnow @blue-ballad @brightlightsinlife @creativelyeva @cute-as-ducks420 @fanficismydrug @gem1712 @golden-hoax @gothmingguk @groovychaosavenue @hillzrry @iceebabies @indierockgirrl @jerseygirlinca @jng4kook @jooniesbabie @kaverichauhan @lexiecamposv @mrs-anna-styles211994 @n0vaj3an @rach2699 @ravenclawdirectioner @stylesfeverr @superchrystaldrug @tenaciousperfectionunknown @tiaamberxx @thechaoticjoy @theekyliepage @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @youknowwhaaat

As your car traveled the streets of Barcelona, your head rested on Harry’s shoulder, your fingers intertwined. You could tell by his soft breaths that he was drifting off to sleep, so you kept silent, just enjoying being next to him. 

Love on Tour would be coming to an end in just over a week, and his multi-year hectic schedule was starting to catch up with him. He was moving a little slower, his eyes puffy and worn from lack of sleep, and he was spending more of his free time in the hotel as opposed to exploring the cities he was visiting. You knew that he had loved every second of the past few years, but he was definitely ready to slow down for a while. 

As you approached the airport, you heard the driver let out a whistle of surprise. You lifted your head to take a look out the front windshield. There was a large crowd of people on the sidewalk waiting for Harry. 

You took a deep breath before squeezing his hand gently and kissing him on the cheek. “Baby, I’m so sorry, time to wake up and turn it on.” 

You brushed a stray curl across his forehead as his eyes fluttered open. He smiled softly at you before taking a look out the window. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath. Harry loved his fans, and he would take any opportunity to greet them and thank them for their support, but he could already tell that this crowd would be difficult. 

As your car approached, you disconnected your hand from Harry’s and slid to the opposite side of the backseat. He gave you an apologetic smile, you shrugged in reply. Because of Harry’s desire to keep his personal life private, you knew that he would want his distance in front of this many people, you understood and were fine with it. 

You respected Harry’s wishes, but moments like this made it hard, you knew he was tired and that the walk into the airport was going to be a struggle for him, and you wanted nothing more than to be by his side and hold his hand through it. 

“I’ll get out on this side and walk around. I’ll meet you inside.” You tell him. 

He reaches over, brushing his index finger against the back of your hand. “You sure you’ll be alright?” 

“Of course,” you assure him. “I’m a big girl, I can hold my own.” You pat your stomach with a smile. 

“Y/N.” Harry says in a warning tone. He loves your sense of humor, except when you turn it on yourself in a self deprecating manor. 

“Sorry,” you smile sheepishly. “How about this then? I’ve held my own in my fair share of mosh pits, I can throw them bows with the best of ‘em.” He chuckles softly, a genuine grin growing on his face. “There he is. Now hold onto that for just a couple of minutes, and I’ll see you on the other side.” 

“I love you so much,” he says softly. 

“I love you too, always.” You say with a wink as the car comes to a stop. 

Before security can get Harry’s door open, you slip out the other side. You walk around the back of the car and watch as his door opens. He is immediately swarmed by people yelling and shoving photos and markers in his face. His security and the local police are doing their best to push them off, but they are relentless. Even Harry is pleading with them to back away, but it falls on deaf ears. 

Despite the rush of the crowd, Harry still takes the time to greet a fan in a wheelchair, signing an album for him and chatting for a brief moment. As you watch on, your worry morphs into awe of this amazing, selfless man. 

You’re so lost in the moment that you don’t realize that one of the officers assigned to crowd control has corralled you into the crowd of onlookers. As Harry finishes with the fan and pushes through the rest of the people, you snap back to the present and begin moving through the crowd yourself. 

As you reach the end of the mob, you’re held back by one of the officers. “No, I’m with them.” You insist, stepping forward only to be shoved back a little harder than needed, with a stern ‘no’ from the officer. 

You watch as Harry turns the corner, your mind racing. You know they won’t leave without you, Harry will notice you’re not there and send security, or someone else from the entourage to retrieve you. But the worry starts to sink in as you find yourself being engulfed back into the masses. 

You fight your way back to the front of the crowd, stopped in front of the same officer that stopped you before. You keep your eyes locked on the corner Harry had turned. Before long, you see him rushing back out of the airport, his eyes moving frantically, no doubt trying to find you. 

“Harry!” You shout, hoping to catch his attention as your voice gets drowned out by the cries and yells from everyone else. 

His eyes lock on yours, his expression panicked as he rushes back toward the crowd. As the fans and autograph-seekers reach for him, he grabs the officer holding you back on the shoulder tugging roughly. “She’s with me,” he shouts aggressively, grabbing your hand and rushing back into the airport. 

He’s practically running, his hand gripping yours tighter than he ever had, afraid of losing you again. As soon as you both turn the corner, and find yourselves away from prying eyes, Harry stops and turns, wrapping his arms around your shoulder and pulling you into him, kissing the top of your head. “I’m so sorry, angel. Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine Harry, promise.” You assure him, rubbing his back softly. “You didn’t have to come back for me, you could have just sent one of the guys.” 

“Absolutely not.” He said in a clipped tone. “You’re my girl, it is my job to protect you and keep you safe. I’ve already failed at that once tonight.” You heard his voice waiver, followed by a barely audible sniffle. He was definitely crying.

You pulled away, looking up at his misty eyes just as a single tear broke free and rolled down his cheek. “Harry,” you said softly, placing your hands on his cheeks, wiping away the rogue drop with your thumb. “It’s okay, I’m okay.” 

He places his hands over yours, which are still rested on his face. He pulls them off and brings them to his lips. You see a swarm of emotions in his eyes; sad, tired, apologetic. Your heart is breaking for him. 

“Come here,” you lead him over to a nearby seating area, guiding him down into a chair. “Talk to me Harry, what’s going on.” 

He stays silent for a moment, trying to organize his thoughts. He lets out a deep sigh, running a hand through his hair. “If something had happened to you out there, it would have been my fault.” 

“Hey,” you furrow your brow. “First of all, nothing happened to me, so there’s no point in sitting here worrying about it, especially with everything you’ve got going on. Second of all, it one hundred percent would not have been your fault.” 

“It’s just…” Harry pauses. “I appreciate my fans, I do…”

“Harry,” you stop him. “Those weren’t your fans. Sure, there were a couple of them there, but they were easy to spot because they were being respectful of you and your space. The rest of them were just paps and autograph sellers. They were there to make money, they didn’t give a shit about you, they were on the clock.”  

Harry nods in understanding. His tormented gaze slowly begins to soften. “How are you so good at this?” You give him a questioning look. “I brought you into all of this, the crazy mobs, the gossip, everything, and you haven’t let it get to you at all.”

“Because I love you,” you shrugged. “If that’s the stuff I have to put up with to be with you, then I’ll put up with it with a smile on my face, because the reward of getting to be by your side is worth it.” 

Harry surged forward, crashing his lips against yours, unable to express in words just how much your words mean to him. He pulls away, cupping your cheek tenderly. “I can’t wait until next week. I won’t have to worry about shows, you and I are going to disappear from the world, and I’m going to be able to thank you properly for being the best thing that has ever happened to me.” 

“By sleeping for a week straight?” You arch a brow. “Because that’s what you’re going to need more than anything.” 

“As long as you’re sleeping next to me.”

“No place I’d rather be.” You smirk.

He pulls you in for another kiss, this one cut short when you hear them call Harry to board the plane. He stands first, offering his hand to you. You take it happily and he leads you out to the tarmac. 

You and Harry settle in side by side. You let out a small laugh as you wait for the plane to take off. 

“What’s so funny?” Harry asks you. 

“Nothing,” you chuckle again. “I was just thinking, I survived the great Break Stuff wall of death of 2017, but almost got taken out by a couple of Harry Styles groupies. I think being with you is making me go soft.” 

“Funny,” he huffs a laugh. “You have quite the opposite effect on me.” He looks at you with an arched brow and a smug smirk. You slap his chest playfully, your face going bright red at his comment. 

[oozeandgoo-art]

no, by "weird" i mean "uncanny". i mean it's a "weird dog" in the same way one could describe a parrot as a "weird autoresponder". this is not Actually a dog any more than it is Actually a dead thing, but when it walks like a duck and winks and says "quack" clear as day, might as well call it a weird duck, no?

this guy was pretty strongly inspired by the character Coyote from Gunnerkrigg Court, who is also a weird coyote in the sense that he's some other thing, but he's called Coyote, and he looks like a coyote, and it's as good a presumed name as anything else. personally I wasn't impressed by the original comic nor its execution of the character, and it treads into territory I don't want to touch vis-a-vis trying to "respectfully" turn characters from Indigenous American mythology into characters for one's own storytelling and entertainment, but I liked the idea of a mischievous Not A Dog with magic powers and a knack for showing up just before everything else goes wrong lurking about in my creative repertoire, and I think I could do a character like GC's Coyote just as well as GC pulled it off, if not, frankly, better lol. never let it be said I do not create with ego first and skill second XD

i suppose by weird dog I could mean awesome weird dog, but [weird dog] comes first!

made a weird dog

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

The people who are being overly pressed about this are probably the same people who are flabbergasted over guilty as sin lol. My immediate reaction was good for you girl and also duh kind of obvious.

yeah like, I don't actually want to get into discourse over this on my blog so this will probably be the last of it because it's such a nothingburger and obviously just there to drive clicks.

But there's a reason why So High School is on the album, and it's there as a foil for Guilty As Sin? and Smallest Man and The Manuscript, about many things but for the purposes of this discussion specifically about sex.

The purpose of Guilty As Sin? isn't to shock people that Taylor Swift (or any woman really) engages in self-pleasure. It's that she's left to do that because her partner has neglected her in just about every facet of their relationship, including sexually. (Not that one needs a reason to engage in it, just to be clear. You do you y'all.) She's left so despondent over the lack of intimacy in all aspects that she caves to this fantasy that's sparked by someone whose intents are deceitful, because it's all she's got left-- and is the only way for her to feel anything.

The Smallest Man also details how sex coming from this place left her feeling empty and used and manipulated and needless to say, completely unsatisfied. (And other things, but flying too close to the sun.) And The Manuscript is the origin of all this shame around sex, how her early adult experiences in it warped her sense of self and of relationships and love and everything.

So then you have So High School where everything feels brand new in every way: she's giddy like a teenager (without a traumatizing history) because for once there aren't any games being played, she's not being toyed with or kept in the wings or discarded when inconvenient. Her needs are being met, and that act is exciting! It's a turn-on! They can have sex whenever and wherever they want because it is a place of safety and connection and exploration and joy! Possibly in a way she's never felt in her life! Is it any wonder that her third eye opened and over the last year she's been feeling herself in ALL the ways?!

(Not to say having sex means you automatically want to show off! But for HER her confidence in herself and her body has skyrocketed and as many around here have said, when someone keeps telling you you're the hottest thing on the planet AND THEN SHOWS YOU THEY MEAN IT, that can unlock a lot of things in your brain.)

Sorry didn't mean for this to turn into a soapbox lol. But in summation:

[greenboyfriend]

pick an image! (tarot card reading)

image source ❁ image 1: an aged, leather book, with many, many pages. it makes you wonder what's inside, but due to its thickness, maybe it doesn't... ❁ image 2: a pleasant smile in the hands of gods. overlapping colorful wings form a small space in the middle. if you threw this at the wall, it'd definitely leave an imprint. ❁ image 3: a mysterious brass key. to what does its dainty swirls open? no one knows but you! how do I pick? everyone has their own method of getting in touch with their intuition. for me, when I know it's right, I feel a lightness in my chest, and when it's wrong, a pit in my stomach. don't think too much about it. whichever you choose will be right! BOOK A READING THRU DM/ASK!

1.・。.・゜✭

boy howdy, y'all.

you see the change you need to make, and yet you're still resisting? maybe you're scared of what this change will bring, but in your stagnancy, you're missing an opportunity for growth. the most important thing is that you tell the truth. right that wrong-- let everyone know what's really happening. whatever your reason for inaction might be, know that you do, in fact, possess the strength to overcome your issue(s), no matter how much you think you don't. you've already reached a major milestone, too, so why keep yourself in a box? reap that reward. you worked for it, after all! this important change will have to do with you clearing the air, speaking articulately, and being sure that you share the absolute, honest truth. consider a direction change. sure, what's gotten you here has worked wonders, but what will get you to your next goal? don't be afraid to try new things!

(7 of pentacles reversed, ace of swords reversed, king of swords, four of pentacles)

2.・。.・゜✭

whadda hell? such similar cards and yet such distinct meanings...

unlike those who chose image 1, you have not yet reached your goal. but don't worry! you're almost there!! you've just got to keep trying... easier said than done, right? it seems like you really want to give up, or are doubting yourself. this is a strong energy-- maybe you've been hurt in the past because of a similar situation, so you're refusing to acknowledge what's happening at all. maybe you don't believe in your own strength, but know that it is there. you've come all this way-- think of this as one more hurdle to jump before you take a lunch break. and what a wonderful lunch it will be, indeed!!! something that will be important will be finding out what's real and what's not. break up this complicated situation into segments and slowly analyze how all the pieces fit together. try to remain objective during this process, it is important for your future success. and finally, the scariest hurdle of all: simply having fun! you don't need to be guarded all the time, and maybe that's the lesson you're tackling right now. there's a very strong vibe of "recapturing innocence", in the (inno-) sense that you must shed the learned, knee-jerk responses of heartache. in order to feel better, you must let yourself free, but don't worry; your heart will always come back to you. don't let your inhibitions stop you from living the life you want to... need to....... deserve to live!!! so take that crazy chance and engage in unadulterated, unfiltered, unstoppable whimsy. this will be the key that takes you to new heights!!!

(ace of swords reversed-- this hoe really jumped out of the deck to see you. say hi..., the fool, 7 of pentacles reversed, king of swords)

3.・。.・゜✭

okay so everyone's going through it. okay

god damn. y'all really need a hug, a hot cup of cocoa, and a cat in your lap, because fuck!!! you're experiencing a betrayal. deserted in your time of need, you're left to wander far, far away from home... you will find happiness in trying new things and keeping your head up, but don't let discovery be your excuse to neglect your needs. above all else, you need to heal. this will be a time of balancing these two things: trying out new developments and changes, while also healing your emotional wounds. you may be more interested in the former than the latter. you may feel like you're too weak to face this pain, but know that hard times help redefine the person you are. it's easy to wave it all away and throw all your energy into what's new, but what will really matter when you're 75 and looking back on your life is how you treated yourself during this time. did you dutifully lick your wounds, tending to yourself as you wish someone else would? or did you discard yourself in the same way you discarded your feelings? it's a tough ask, and a bit shocking to think about, I know. but imagine looking back and feeling pride in how well you managed things, the comfort gained-- almost magically-- from yourself, and the good it did you. okay, okay im getting off my soapbox now! just know you're headed towards good things. it may be a long process, so be brave, and steady. take breaks! drink water! stand motionless in the shower for 30 minutes, it's ok if that's what you need to do cause guess what?!?! you deserve to be taken care of, especially by yourself!!!

(3 of swords reversed, ace of swords reversed, 2 of pentacles, 6 of swords reversed)

lots and lots and LOTS of love for all of you silly little geese. I wish the absolute best for you! although I don't need to hope for the best... because I know all of you will prevail!!! simply because ur interested in what ur intuition seeks to teach you. please accept my kind words even if im a stranger on the internet! please know you deserve every tender moment that life has to offer and more, because you're just a motherfucker who's out here trying their best, just like most everyone else, and oh my god no matter what anyone tells you that is enough!!!!!!! sorry. I got back on the soapbox. BUT ITS TRUE!!!

[dandyshucks]

i will attempt to explain it and people are free (and welcome) to tell me if i'm misunderstanding or speaking out of turn! also I have troubles with tone in writing when I'm trying to be clear, so please read this all in as kind of a tone as possible - there is no bad judgement in any of my words here, nor am i meaning to be patronizing, and I apologize in advance if I come across that way!

(also disclaimer that there is infinite nuance to this situation and I cannot possibly cover all of it, but I feel like maaaybe this is a main theme that people are possibly missing, and that it's causing issues)

but I think what I am seeing is there are vaguely two sides in the selfship sphere - I have labelled them as the "community-builders" and the "scrapbookers" just for clarity's sake; this is not an attempt to divide ppl. the community-builders want to build community and connect and interact with each other. the scrapbookers are just here to post/rb about their F/O as if they're gluing photos and text into a scrapbook and that's it, they're not actively seeking a community for themselves.

both of these things are okay and fine! neither of these sides are bad or lesser in any way, they are just looking for different things in the time they spend on tumblr. (more under the cut bc it's a long post otherwise)

I think some of the issues are arising from community-builders assuming that scrapbookers are ALSO wanting community but just not putting the work in. so to community-builders, the scrapbookers appear as if they're expecting interaction without putting in any effort themselves, but I don't think that's the case. I think scrapbookers are just not looking for community the way that community-builders are - they want two different things from their experience in the selfship sphere!

I think there IS occasionally an issue where some people expect or beg for interaction without actually interacting with anyone themselves, but in that case it is best to block and move on OR let the person know directly (and kindly) that they should try to interact with others if they want interaction themselves.

unfortunately it seems like a lot of knowledge around community building and upkeep is not well-known in the present-day, because of [gestures vaguely at our current societal structure and the way social media functions now compared to how it used to etc etc etc]. so I do feel that posts encouraging people to interact with one another are good and helpful and sometimes even needed, but they are not applicable to the scrapbookers. I wonder sometimes if community-builders see scrapbookers having fun in their own little corner and assume that the they must want attention but aren't getting any, so we end up with an attempted rescue situation where community-builders make a "let's all interact more!" post to try to drum up interaction for the scrapbookers even though they aren't actually wanting that.

i know for myself, while I do enjoy the circle of friends and mutuals I've made, I am not super community-oriented. I interact with my mutuals and friends because I like to do so, and I also welcome in new friends and followers with open arms, but I am never expecting interaction and rarely actively seek it out. If my art gets notes, great! But that's simply a bonus for me personally. So to think that some people might look at 0 note posts of mine and think "oh that poor soul! they must be desperate for interaction! i have to do something about this!", that... feels a little silly and even a bit presumptuous on their part. I'm okay over here in my corner, I promise! :] I'm just here to have a space to love fictional characters, and I don't feel like I necessarily Want attention for that.

and to clarify! it is okay to want community, and to want interaction. we just have different wants and goals from our time here, that's all. neither of us are wrong for what we want and neither of us are better than the other - we just have different things we're looking for in this part of the internet, and that is okay :]

i keep seeing an argument of sorts floating around every couple of months and i think maybe the reason the argument is happening is because people are not realizing they want different things out of this all

[stagkingswife]

same anon as just before- i so agree with you!!! so much of faith is being able to put your trust in the gods even if you can't directly hear from them, and as someone who's never had that experience i really admire people who are brave enough to keep moving forward even if they're not sure the gods are out there. simultaneously as a diviner every time i hear "got a 5 dollar godspouse confirmation from an etsy shop, what does xyz want to do to me" i want to cleanse immediately

I'm going to get on a little soapbox here for a second about our community: I think we see this - both people selling $5 godspouse confirmations on etsy and people buying them - because our community is full of people who are longing to be told they are special. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's a very natural human desire. Everyone wants to be special, unique, and important in someway to the people and the world around them. It's a problem when people think being a godspouse, having this unique style of relationship with an entity, will make them more special - either than they were before or than those around them. I have seen people seek out romantic relationships with entities because they thought it would make them more important to that entity, or give them some sort of authority over other practitioners who worship or work with that entity.

I can't speak for any other god or spirit spouses of course, but I'm not any more special than anyone else. The only reason I'm more loved by my divine spouse than any of his other followers is because He's an unrecorded entity who has no other followers. (It's very easy to be more loved than non existent people.) If I were in a relationship with a more popular entity from a more popular pantheon I firmly believe I would receive an equal amount of love and attention as all of their other followers, even if the style and type of love and attention was different.

Anyway... I'm so sorry you activated my trap card.

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

I mean I understand why Radioapple is popular. The Enemies to Lovers trope is like one of the hottest tropes there is, and while Alastor and Vox were technically enemies everyone could tell Alastor didn't take their rivalry very seriously, likely because he didn't view Vox as an actual threat, but Vox was very quick to instigate and was easily shut down by Alastor which is also why Radiosilence is very popular, people love the one-sided thing between them and the bits of past lore we were given. But with Lucifer it's easy to see there's actual angry tension between the two, it's not a one-sided rivalry, Lucifer pisses Al off just as Al pisses Lucifer off so them and their dynamic fit the actual Enemies part perfectly and from there it's much easier to make scenarios in which they would become lovers. Hate sex being very popular because they have a lot of hate for each other, and if they were to have sex it would end in a lot of blood and tears and most likely a very torn up room. That's just my take on it. Tbh the only Radioapple I like is the Berryverse Radioapple which was a thing before the first season, it's kind of an AU where Alastor is a way better version of Al and is Angel's pimp and Lucifer is Vox because he sells Apple mac products.

As someone whose lifeblood is enemies to lovers, I totally get that. And when I first saw that people shipped radioapple my first thought was 'Oh yeah, that makes sense - enemies to lovers. Probably if I look at it close enough, I'll start shipping it too, cause I can never help myself with that trope.'

But then I did start to look at it closer, and I just... don't see any romantic or sexual tension between them. It seems a very superficial enmity because it's just the two most prideful beings being jealous of each other with no real heart behind it. No hate to them as enemies, cause enemies doesn't need to be a complicated thing, I just don't see enough there for anything to develop out of it. Maybe if Alastor wasn't aroace, but as it is, I think it would have to be very special circumstances for him to be interested in anyone like that.

As for radiostatic, I respectfully disagree about Alastor not taking their rivalry seriously. I think he just does a much better job of hiding it. This can even be seen in the (admittedly non-canon) comics, where Vox tries to get a rise out of Alastor, he rolls his eyes and walks away, but the second he's out of earshot starts grumbling and even swearing.

In the show itself, I went in knowing nothing, and in the first episode when Alastor and Vaggie were making the commercial, I was immediately convinced that he had been hurt by/had a grudge against someone in the television industry. Then, when he came out of his tailor's shop (which he knew was right across from Vox's shop, and why did he have to repair a coat that already had so many tears in it?), he stops to pose, cracks an eye open, and then gets all irritated when he gets no reaction. And then what does he do? Immediately goes on air to antagonize Vox right back. (I also saw a post talking about how he references the first part of the song, that Vox wasn't even on air for, implying that he also spies on Vox, but that's shaky evidence, I feel like.)

And the end of that episode really sealed it for me, with him waiting in the shadows, then picking up the watch and powering it on just to taunt Vox. Cause yeah, my first watch of Stayed Gone, I got the same impression that Alastor didn't take the rivalry seriously, but then here he was, going out of his way get a rise out of Vox. It suddenly showed that whatever was between them was very personal, and fuck, the only trope I like more than enemies to lovers is friends to enemies to lovers.

Well, sorry for this soapbox. I'm a big proponent of ship and let ship, so this is in no way trying to put down anyone who views these characters differently, I'm just sharing my opinion!

[coal15]

My opinions on the whole multi-shipping Buddie and Tevan situation. But first, [steps up on soapbox and yells into bullhorn] HAVE NO BEEF WITH ANYONE WHO FEELS DIFFERENTLY THAN ME SO I'D REALLY APPRECIATE NOT GETTING ANY "YOUR OPINIONS ARE STUPID AND PROBABLY SO ARE YOU" COMMENTS IN MY REPLIES. **If any such comments do appear in my replies I would ask the rest of you to please simply ignore them. You won't change their minds so confrontation will do nothing but further poison the waters.

Ahem. Carrying on. Warning, this post is LONG. Like, practically a novella.

I'm still a multi-shipper at heart in the sense that I will always love my memories in the Buddie fandom and how vocally we showed our support over the last six years--yes there was a SUPER PROMINENT contingent among us who directly engaged with and verbally disemboweled every actress who played a li on a regular basis, (and who harassed Oliver to the point of him quitting twitter) but most of us had the sense to direct our ranting at the fictional character or writers/showrunner/network with varying degrees of anger or indignation. Now speaking just for myself, in my time as a Buddie fan I never commented on the physical appearance of any li, so seeing a lot of buddie-or-bust folks now referring to Lou as "ugly" "rectangle-faced" "gross looking," etc has been disappointing. I hope they represent the minority. So far it looks like they do.

On to my reasons for and/or role in shutting down non-Buddie romances: While I never took to engaging her personally, I voiced harsh criticism of GW over her "honorary latina" comment, likewise EG for her transphobia and non-apology apology ("I'm sorry if you felt offended). And while I wish bucktaylor had stayed besties (preferably bi besties since there was no reason Buck couldn't have his bi awakening with a woman), my issue with them dating was at first just a lack of romantic chemistry and the fact that Taylor never apologized for what she did to Bobby or even admitted it was wrong. But as the relationship dragged on I watched the life drain out of Buck. They were stagnant as a couple and the look on Buck's face when he said ily back to her was . . . laughably unromantic. The only growth his character got from that relationship was him being the one to end it. As for eddieana, on top of lacking chemistry they were just plain dull. The end.

Moving on to Buck's kiss w/Lucy: I actually like AK and was excited to hear about her coming to 9-1-1. She was fun af as Lexi on VD so I was looking forward to seeing her play a different character. Aaaaannnnnnd then KR immediately ruined her by making it abundantly clear that she was created for one sole purpose: to complicate a man's storyline and spark off a love triangle--and she did so in the most offensive way possible. It was appalling, negatively affected Buck's character, and thankfully KR's response to the intense backlash was to pivot so the love triangle never manifested. But the damage was already done. No one had any interest in watching them poke/flirt for the rest of the season. I was deeply offended by such a misogynistic use of a female character and it still boggles my mind that a woman created her.

Anyhow, all this was a long winded way of saying that my reasons for wanting those li gone went well beyond my investment in Buddie. Though I did strongly believe no romantic narrative for either of them could ever compete w/the Buckley-Diaz Family, at the end of the day those romantic arcs were ruined for me by writing mistakes, problematic actresses, and lack of chemistry (which is admittedly subjective and something we all approach with shipper goggles to some degree--if you think you 100% absolutely don't you're lying to yourself). I stand by a lot of the reasons Buddies were so opposed to those li being endgame. Yes, plenty of us took things waaaaaaay over the line re: direct personal attacks against actresses and/or non-buddie fans, but I think far more of us than not did argue in good faith and toward the right people. We just didn't stand out as much or get as much engagement because . . . well, toxic behavior is rewarded on sm with more clicks, shares, likes, quotes, etc. Attention seekers gonna seek.

As for why it's so hard to ship happily on sm: in my experience a handful of problematic or outright unhinged fans (on both sides) will go around stirring shit, provoking arguments, and soon the dog pile effect kicks in because everyone wants to defend their tribe. Arguments go in circles, spin off, get more and more petty, until most of "us" end up discussing amongst ourselves about how "they" are a bunch of [insert string of negative attributes here], which then in itself provokes a reaction from "them." Lather, rinse, repeat. Eventually way too many of "us" are hissing and snarling at "them" more often than theorizing about or celebrating our ship . . . the thing we enjoy . . . and it's really hard to detach from that cycle, especially when things get personal. I recommend total non-acknowledgement, but even I struggle to hold that line when I read something I think is terrible. I'm making an effort these days to just keep scrolling thru my feed until I hit something happy, and if there's a negative comment somewhere in the thread to give it ZERO engagement of any kind. Not. Easy.

Which brings me to where I am today. During my time in the Buddie fandom I assumed that for most of us the actual queer rep mattered more than any one ship. Hell, if Taylor had been the one to wake Buck up to his bisexuality--and admitted what she did to Bobby was wrong--they might have grown on me as an endgame couple. I've accepted "meh" endgame couples before as long as everything else on a show stayed solid. I also thought that Buck could never, ever look at anyone with bigger hearteyes than the way he looked at Eddie, but . . .

. . . Enter Tommy. As soon as they kissed, and in their albeit limited screentime afterward (thanks a lot shortened season!) I learned a lesson: there are different kinds of hearteyes. In my opinion Buck looks at Eddie with complete adoration and love, yes. Total hearteyes. But the way he looks at Tommy is . . . "Oh, that's what Buck looks like when he's absolutely smitten, that's how he acts, that's what a romantic crush looks like on Buck. Wow." It wasn't better or worse than his hearteyes or vibe with Eddie, just conspicuously different. It re-framed the way I see the Buckley-Diaz Family as well, and the way I read their chemistry. As I mentioned earlier chemistry is subjective, and once I actually had something queer to compare with Buddie's chemistry, I stopped rooting for romantic Buddie. I wouldn't exactly be furious if they went canon since I did spend all those years rooting for them and it would still be a high profile queer storyline, but I would rather see the Buckley-Diaz Family and Tevan coexist. I think they can, and I think it would be beautiful.

So here's where I stand with my preference and opinions today:

Falling in love doesn't mean everyone else in your life gets demoted. Feelings aren't like pie. Maddie doesn't love Buck any less since she fell in love with Chimney. Athena didn't love her daughter any less when her son came along. There's not a finite amount of love and you're serving out pieces of it. You can love more than one person with all your heart. And that's how I feel about Buck and the Buckley-Diaz Family. He and Eddie are more than friends, different than brothers, they just . . . have their own dynamic. It's unique, special, and vital to both of their identities. And those facts will not be altered by either of them falling in love w/another person. If anything, the Buckley-Diaz Fam has become more special to me since I started rooting for a Tevan endgame.

Queer rep matters more to me than Buddie. Buck coming out as bi wasn't and shouldn't be seen as a step on the road to "winning" the ship I wanted for years. It is completely awesome progress for us whether they're endgame or not. Ditto for Tevan. Also, at the end of the day I ship Buck+Happiness and Eddie+Happiness, and right now Buck seems to be falling for Tommy. What happens with Eddie remains to be seen.

Looking at the whole picture, I will always love Buddie and kinda wish they'd gone canon in s4 or 5, but I think that moment has passed and I'm not mad or bitter about it. I adore the Buckley-Diaz Family, I adore Tevan, and I want to see them both thrive in s8. Now if you'll excuse me, my fingers have begun to bleed from all this typing.

[rebelsandtherest]

Granted, I’ve not seen the video, but I can imagine pretty clearly what it must’ve looked like. The fact that they were just openly staring seems mega creepy. I feel bad for the guys just trying to to about their day.

For what it’s worth, the whole culture of approaching and talking to strangers can be very regional here in the US. I grew up in the south, where it was not unusual for my mother to start a long, friendly conversation with the grocery store clerk, and having complete strangers compliment my shirt, or my hair or something like that. Now, I’ve lived on the east coast for the better part of a decade and whenever I go visit my parents, that particular thing is always jarring. East coast culture is very much “mind your own damn business”. That being said, even east coast Americans are more willing to go up and say hi than in many countries, but relative to other US regions, it’s far less accepted here. I know people are probably tired of Americans offering this opinion, but this really is one of those things where it’s helpful to just imagine each state as it’s own country with unique social norms and such. I could approach a stranger in Texas and become friends by the end of the evening with an invite to dinner the next week, while if I tried the same thing in, say, NYC or Boston, I’m most likely going to be told to fuck off. It’s all about location and context.

Also maybe this is just my experience cause I’ve never really attracted random male attention, but if someone came up to me or my friends asking for our number I would call that borderline harassment. Like what the hell, man, leave us alone. It’s bad enough if it’s at a bar, but just on the street???? What the hell! Girls don’t like being ogled by random dudes on the street, I can’t imagine guys enjoy it all that much either.

I saw a video of some american girls in denmark looking at danish men walking down the street and they seemed so surprised that none of them paid attention to them...they were sitting outside at a restaurant. The comment section was full of people saying that it's not that they are not pretty, it's just how scandinavians are, they don't approach people the same way americans do, but all I could think about was; do americans really just walk up to random people's table and ask for their number or what?? because that would give me so much anxiety😭

I saw that same video and thought it was strange that the girls were openly staring at them?? Idk it just seemed so creepy to me, and the idea that in the USA you could be minding your own business just for someone to walk up and put you on the spot like that?? 😮‍💨 No thank you, no thank you-