#having a great time (lie)

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

[dailyloopdeloop]

DAY 97: CONGRATULATIONS, YOU WON!

[excalisi]

being a companion's bf must be so annoying. like this is me, this is my girlfriend, and this is the alien from outer space who lives in a blue box and drags her around on fantastical, life-threatening adventures that she considers the single most important person in her life, above all others. her emotional support time lord, but also the guy who she's inexplicably & inextricably intertwined with on a level that you will never come to comprehend

[dubiousdisco]

they should have burned lionel luthor at the stake

[luposlipaphobya]

Ok google how to date your boss when you’re haunted by eldritch entities. Asking for a friend.

Another scene from our dnd campaign. Melisande (guy with the braids) belongs to @the-nothing-maker ✨ and Lazuli is my npc!

[manglam-marfach]

dyke!Chilaios has me understanding breeding kink all of a sudden

[leavingautumn13]

a little doodle to celebrate 21 years of these two idiots (affectionate)

[i have commissions open now]

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Ooooo thank you for explaining the cult 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

Would you be able to go in depth about how and why warlocks are hated or the general history or state of your world?

Hope you're having a good time zone 😊

🫶🏽

not really because i haven't really thought about it! and this isn't really my own worldbuilding, this is the general consensus from high fantasy media in general:

Warlocks in general have a reputation for being evil, practicing dark magic, and making pacts with "bad" forces - like demons! they're thought to be servants of evil & are not to be trusted. their magic is usually chaotic and wild, unlike wizardry and witchcraft with are more careful and controlled - and their magic is learned, whereas warlocks get their magic from a powerful entity via some form of payment (ex: their soul)

really, warlocks can be good or bad or somewhere in between like any magic user. but due to the nature/source of their powers, they're seen as evil. the rarity of them only adds to this, since many do indeed get corrupted by their patron - or they sought out their pact for less than savory reasons

[jamiesfootball]

Always lowkey simmering a Leverage AU in the back of my head hear me out:

Ted is an ex-insurance investigator who was able to get his son life-saving medical treatment because his first, original Crime Pal Beard was like ‘Ted if your company doesn’t come through with the coverage, we’re doing things my way.’

The company did not come through. The company did let him go due to suspicion of Ted’s involvement in the incident, but Ted will happily remind folks that no charges were formally pressed. Henry is alive and healthy and living with Michelle, who divorced Ted shortly thereafter (not just because of pre-existing marital problems, but because Ted wouldn’t tell her anything about why the doctors “””suddenly decided to do the procedure for free”””). Shortly thereafter, Ted fled the country.

What Ted learned from the whole experience is that there’s a lot of people out there, good people just trying to live by the rules, but sometimes things happen that are just out of their control. And well- if we’ve got the means to help the good people out when no one else will, then shouldn’t we try?

“We’ve got means,” Beard agrees. “And motives.”

They do things Beard’s way now.

[whoviandoodler]

one of the things that makes mdzs SUCH a great story is the fact that it's a tragedy with queer protagonists, but their queerness isn't the cause or the center of the tragedy. it's not even related, really. it's a story about love and loss and wrong and right, about what we owe each other and what we owe ourselves, about how you can find joy even amidst chaos and grief; its complexity and tragedy is what makes it so profound and touching. sure, there's 'casual' queerphobia in the story, but with everything else going on, it's not really relevant- wwx's mostly like, 'oh, i like guys? i like lwj? i love lwj? fuck, what if he doesn't love me back? am i being presumptuous to think he returns my feelings? what do I do now?' followed by 'wait, he loves me back??? we're getting married IMMEDIATELY', and that whole attitude is very refreshing because sometimes you just want to read a queer story that isn't about queer suffering but that's still incredibly miserable, and i think we as a queer community deserve it

[undeadfvckgirl-base]

Hey guys. Yeah no I'm good. I'm just- *starts sobbing about J and Flesha while listening to Vanilla Twilight by Owl City*

[quietlyblooms]

should vampire chiyo exist? as a treat? can we envision it?

[chirpsythismorning]

Concept: ST5 promo slowly revealing things over the next year that basically indicates they lied about a bunch of things.

First this new character announcement, despite saying there would be no new characters (the first lie). Next thing you know there’s gonna be some cryptic promo about a birthday, and everyone will be confused like WTF?? Then they’ll do an interview and laugh audibly over a question about the birthday debacle and be like ‘you guys actually believed we don’t rewatch our show??’… Then we’ll get something that indicates Mike was lying in his monologue, with even just the most subtle side joke about it…

Aka Friends don’t lie coming full circle with the creators @ their audience in real time 😭

[chernychnyi]

it was my first time playing trespasser and solas actually moved me. because of the music!!!! the score is so good it made me care.

[regular-lord-reckoner]

i’m home !!

procedure went real well, everything was really smooth and almost as soon as they said, “you can count backwards if you want,” i don’t think i even said ten before i was suddenly in recovery and sipping some ginger ale.

honestly the worst part was the iv because they had to do it on the side of my wrist because apparently my veins are crooked ?? i just hate ivs anyway so that’s no surprise but other than that no complaints.

everyone was real nice and made sure i was well taken care of (my nurse even had me pee one more time before so she wouldn’t have to do a catheter which with my history…..thank you)

but yeah, i’ll have a follow up in about a month just to make sure everything’s good and the iud is doing its thing !!

i do have some cramping and bleeding but that’s normal, although a little funny because i literally just stopped my period yesterday but…oh well !! hopefully in a few months i won’t have hardly any so this we can handle and i hace some medicine (and my ~medicine) that’ll help so i’m all set.

mom had to go run some errands so my little recovery buddy is keeping me company. also, a moment of recognition for my new favorite shirt (thank you as always, Boss Dog Art; i’ve already got my eye on another one that says, “i think therefore i am against transphobia around the world” or something like that and it’s got a cool skeleton on it; this is my third shirt from them and they’re really comfy and good quality so not sponsored but check them out, they seem cool):

[sharkface]

Sudoku at the punk show