#having a great time (lie)

[flashphotograph]

DJObscene

[saltseashark]

it was a baller burgie though so i guess its fine

[buttercupshands]

Sketch dump of month old sketches I forgot to post

[vibiano]

Oh and speaking of, shoutout the very very very vivid dream I had where Hector was sick for the first time after coming out of the rifts, and the bizzyboys where taking shifts to take care of him. And it was Vib's turn, and this happened

Yeahg.

[torchickentacos]

sigh

[bottlemandx]

award for most neurotic 13 year old goes to...!!!!

(LOW-EFFORT FUNNIES UNDER CUT)

[dubiousdisco]

they should have burned lionel luthor at the stake

[bethanydelleman]

I think The Great Gatsby is the only tragedy that I both love and haven't attempted to fix, either in my mind or through fan fiction. The reason for this is probably because it's impossible to make Jay Gatsby and Daisy a happy couple, no matter what you do with the canon characters. Unlike say, Romeo & Juliet or Mansfield Park, there is no point where something can go right and plausibly end well.

It is fundamental to Daisy's character, and part of the reason that Gatsby fell in love with her, that she is rich and to his that he was born poor. If you fix Gatsby getting stuck at Oxford after the war, either Daisy still marries wealth (and is just a bit more sad about it) or she does marry Gatsby and ends up discontent. At best, they'd achieve middle class (because he wouldn't take the same huge risks married), which she would hate, and while she would have love, it wouldn't be enough.

If Myrtle isn't hit by the car, Gatsby isn't shot in the pool, but that was the most merciful thing that could have happened to him. Daisy was not going to endure the public humiliation of a high profile divorce. Her return to Tom was inevitable (something Nick knew but Gatsby denied). Gatsby dies still able to believe that he'll have a future with Daisy. That's the best he's ever going to get.

Daisy was always an unachievable dream to Gatsby. A girl like her was never going to wait for him to become wealthy. She would never be content with him poor. Tragedy was guaranteed the moment he fell in love. You can't fix it.

[panharmonium]

i am not usually interested in dramatically canon-divergent scenarios because the canon story is what compels me, but i've been obsessed with this moment ever since i re-heard it during my second viewing. from the perspective of someone who already finished the story once and now knows the truth - this was wild.

WHAT IF?

[staticwaffles]

Really hoping these next two arcs have Cassian play a larger role in the show named after him, as well as developing him closer to who he is in Rogue One.

[luposlipaphobya]

Ok google how to date your boss when you’re haunted by eldritch entities. Asking for a friend.

Another scene from our dnd campaign. Melisande (guy with the braids) belongs to @the-nothing-maker ✨ and Lazuli is my npc!

[boasamishipper]

bobby's mother becoming a faith healer and traveling the country for decades with the son who stayed by her side, trying to ease the pain of others after losing her husband to alcoholism and her youngest son to the burden of caring for him, only to end up with terminal cancer gagged me ngl

[skyrim-forever]

WIP WEDNESDAY

It's Wednesday again, let's see them wips <3 I was tagged by @ladytanithia for a wip whenever yesterday, thank you friend!

Tagging: @theoneandonlysemla @dirty-bosmer @lucien-lachance @umbracirrus @changelingsandothernonsense

@bougainvillea-and-saltwater @pocket-vvardvark @firefly-factory @hircines-hunter @captain-of-silvenar

I'd like to give a special shoutout to @lillxart who got me thinking more about the fun little emotion that is jealousy and I decided I wanted to tackle it more in-depth than I have before. Also was missing writing from Ondolemar's pov and he's at his best denying his feelings so here's a snippet from before they have confessed <3 Under the cut because somewhat suggestive, mostly angst:

So caught up in his own mental groveling, what she says next is nearly missed. “I would love to know if you find anything interesting about them, I’ll confess I don't know much about the Dwemer. More familiar with the Ayelids, my father had an interest."

“Perfectly understandable, the Dwemer never went as far south as Cyrodiil.” The young wizard pauses before continuing. “I’ve already got some theories, perhaps we could continue this conversation over dinner? If you’d be interested, of course.”

It comes out of him quickly, words staunch and firm, the authoritarian tone hopefully covers up his desperation. It was unlike him to speak without thinking, let whatever fall from his mouth. Careful, calculated, that is how he was taught to speak. More thought should be put into deciding what to reveal than the physical exertion of saying it. Despite all that training, or perhaps in spite of it, the accusation comes out. 

“You.” The single word is so cutting, far more than it needs to be. The anger in voice should not be directed at her, nor Aicantar who knows not of his crime. It should claim its victim in himself  and it would have, if he had not been struck mad at the thought of her having dinner with someone else. A younger Altmer who was doing what his own younger self set out to do, a scholar; a mer who could be with her, unbound by the confines of oaths and duty. “You have been interfering with official business of the Altmeri Dominion and I am taking you for questioning.” 

Unlike his anger, misplaced and sporadic, hers is properly accessed as she glares at him, burring holes through his very being. Ondolemar knew nothing of dragons. The beasts they say she fought bore little concern on his mind. However, as he guides them back to his quarters, few words said to his guards to explain her presence, he wonders how much truth there is in the tales of their wrath. How much truth is found in the title Dragonborn? Was she like a dragon, could her wrath consume him? 

It’s more unnerving as she is silent on their way, nothing but that agonizing stare to confirm she’s there. Slowly, he shuts the door behind them. Enjoying a few seconds of her company without facing the consequences of what has occurred. 

“What was that?” Every word is a brutal strike and every answer he can give is more pathetic than the next. Though this is no time to be blaise, he does so anyway. An attempt can’t hurt. 

“You were late.” He passes her the goblet poured early, a peace offering, as insignificant as it is. It is rejected. 

“I didn’t realize being late for you to fuck me was a crime, delaying your pleasure counted as interfering with official business.” He deserves the mocking tone as she echoes his words. 

“Given what you have told me I thought you may have been held up by the City Guards. Now I see it was something else.”

“That doesn’t explain what you said. Now the next time I speak with Aicantar I’ll have to fabricate some story because you seem to think your position means you can demand anything you want, at any time.” Her words hit him heavily, settling in his stomach like a thick sludge where sustenance should be. Did she really think that all he was concerned about? Of course she did, he had worked very hard to not let slip any of the borderline romantic thoughts he harboured. Fearful of even thinking of them sober, speaking them aloud would be far too real. 

But she is angry with him and despite their very opposing sides, Ondolemar doesn’t want Theodora angry at him. Their identities as enemies was much better suited for their private activities. Where they still mattered, his position and rank never leaving his mind, but no one to see how he used them to please her. Collecting the right works, he speaks. 

“In the moment I was taken aback when he asked you to dinner and forgot myself.” Her rage quells slightly, what rage leaves is replaced with hurt, her words are layered with pain. 

“Am I not allowed to be asked to dinner?”

“Of course.”

“Then why did you order me away?” He expected her to ask if he was jealous. All the clues point in that direction, it would be easier on him to confirm her conclusion than draw his own. Fearful if he say it he would go even further and inform her that the lack of freedom and autonomy got to him at times. That it did hurt to hear someone else was interested in her and she would not need to hide with him. Taken aback again, this time by her pain and sincerity, he can’t bring himself to tell the truth. 

“I do not know.” It’s a suffocating silence. Distracting himself momentarily, he puts down the rejected peace offering, mentally praying that they will get to share a drink tonight. If she can forgive him for his stupid and barbaric behaviour as well as the fact he cannot provide her an explanation, unable to admit some things to himself. 

“If I saw you with another woman, asking her to dinner or kissing her or even fucking her, I wouldn’t say anything. It’s not my place to.”

There was he wants say. An fruitless endeavour but one nonetheless.

[robo-dino-puppy]

horizon zero dawn (remastered) | watcher

[torchickentacos]

I figured it out, you're the designated sitcom B plot character. Like that post about how the B plots are always stuff like "found $100 on the ground" and "a bird is very here"? That's you. You have fun escapades like "my favorite Chinese restaurant keeps sending me giant cups of sauce" and "I had to figure out where to buy a pig fetus" and "spent six hours getting a woodpecker out of my garage" that's sitcom B plot character shenanigans. Kudos honestly.

Oh my god you're right 😭 and I've had several "A bird is very here" situations somehow, actually??? There was the woodpecker in my garage in mid-june and I spent hours trying to get it to leave, there's the neighbor's chicken that gets loose, like, every morning in the summer somehow (I have chased this chicken down the street several times, and she was being a chatty girlie this morning), and there's been numerous injured birds I've caught for the local wildlife center (my mom and I used to be on-call for animal transports, but we stopped for H5N1).

Bonus bird pictures for the birds that are Very Here :)

[crucifixaudit]

How it's going with my newest character Kiyo:

Kiyo: I need to remove my chastity device Jordan: Hm. Well, the chastity belt can be removed for a fee, but it would be remiss of me not to say that if you're seeking to remove it because you wish to engage in sexual activities- Kiyo: It's because of the spiders Jordan: -then I must caution you against the sorry the what now Kiyo: I need to get the spiders out of me Jordan: ...the. The spiders. Kiyo: Yes. The doctor said they should come out once the anal shield is off, so it should only be a few minutes. Jordan: ...okay. Jordan, after helping Kiyo get his chastity belt off: Have you talked to the doctor about addressing the possibility of halluci- oh, wow, those. Those sure are spiders. Kiyo: Yes? I said they were? Jordan: You... you sure did. Okay.

-Less than a week later-

Kiyo: Hey. Jordan: Please tell me you don't have spiders inside of you this time. Kiyo: No. Jordan: Oh thank god- Kiyo: It's fish this time. Jordan: ...how-