#havent had the focus to write it

[aka-indulgence]

WHAT'S THE STARVING KING

(omg anon this is the cutest ask 😭 yes you can… as a reader insert)

This is an idea that has been ping-ponging in my brain since late last year and has regularly returned to my conscious every quarter moon 🤧

Yes, this AU is about HT!Sans… one where he used to be a medieval king that ruled decades to a century ago before reader’s time, and through one way or another got cursed to be constantly hungry. His hunger was so ravenous that it overtook him and made him so desperate he started devouring his subjects, and once that happened… what is a king without his subjects? Despite his kingdom decaying into nothing, he stayed. Half dead. Still hungry.

The story begins as reader’s first encounter with the legendary Starving King (as he’s been nicknamed over the years) as the castle servant, unfortunate enough to be present when he comes knocking on their gates.

[seiwas]

just a lil bit of a share ! i’ve been feeling really down lately about not writing that much 🥲 and keeping up with posting more frequently/updating a few of my series more regularly 🥲 but i looked at my masterlists and noticed almost 60% of my fics are actually from this year and we’re only half-way in 🥺

anyway ! the point of this is, if you’re being too hard on yourself today, i hope you’re reminded that you’re doing much better than you think 🥺

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

I'm starting to think it's almost impossible for me to write something for Merlin and Leon to not be a main character if not THE main character

[mellancholy-morose]

Snippet Sunday

another werewolf!spirit snippet for your dogboy desires this week

I hardly ever write in third person, but for whatever reason, that's how this fic has decided to present itself

He's getting increasingly worried, every transformation. He feels the wolf's hunger, he wants to devour Stein. It's begun leaking into his normal days. His senses becoming heightened, a movement or scent from Stein will always catch his attention, even several rooms away.

Spirit listens as Stein’s class gets out, he can hear it even from the deathroom. He hears a distinctive click followed by a whiff of acrid chemicals before burning away to the smell of nicotine and smoke.

tagging @chickycherrycola @vulturebeetlesnake @scythe-daddyy and @takeyourcyanide if yall have anything you'd like to share :3

[st4rstudent]

is aotm going to be a macthinker fic?

Not exactly. Accident of the mind is (from what I'm planning) is going to end up dissolving into more of a character-dynamic story between those two freaks, so there will probably be hints of it but it won't be intentionally romantic.

[orcelito]

I do find it so funny that I will graduate college days away from my birthday. Like my birthday is literally in between the end of the semester ("graduation") and commencement

It really will be like a joint graduation & birthday party for me lmao

[vulpesintuos]

in hindsight it *is* hilarious that my writing has went from "I have never stopped thinking about (and wishing I could replicate) the sheer hype of the RULES OF NATURE scene in metal gear rising revengeance" to "I'm putting an image in your head that this man has his hands deep in the other's ribcage and the beating of the heart you feel wet on your skin is a metaphor for emotional closeness. this is what kissing is like"

[dangaer]

might break tradition and make either a lucifer pinned graphic or promo ...

[variousqueerthings]

according to letterboxd i've watched 261 films this year (not counting un-logged films and the couple of weeks left to go)

so despite being tripped up in my plans by suddenly speedrunning doctor who these last couple of months, it's not been a bad year on the whole:

watched my first horror exploitation films -- "cannibal holocaust" and "last house on the left." I cannot say this genre will ever be a favourite, but there is a fascination to the uncomfortable feeling of realism in both of these

overall I watched much less horror this year, partially because I spent october travelling, so didn't do my usual one-per-day themed watch. out of these "lair of the white worm," (generally want to go down more of a ken russell rabbithole next year) "ravenous," (the best cannibal film that nobody's ever seen) and "nightbreed" (the other clive barker directed, which, listen, it may have flaws but it doesn't I tell you, this is a perfect movie!!!) stood out the most, but was also positively surprised by both "return of the living dead" (which, yes, was schlock, but very enjoyable schlock) and "the ritual" (I was expecting to like the ritual, but not for it to feel incredibly personal somehow -- the underrated of the two horrors I know of about english-speaking tourists with trauma trying to recover in the swedish wilderness, by far my favourite!)

also, finally watched the original "the exorcist" which... argh, you know when people say "this thing is really good" and you go sureeeee whatever, it's ruined by the hype and the way you talk about it makes me think I'm not gonna like it, and then you watch it and it's really good dammit!

also, i was convinced I watched "nope" last year, but it may be this year. I watched it three times this year, and I didn't log it last, so that means I get to go ohhhhh "nope" is just a movie of all time, it deserves the future cult status it's gonna have, I've been yelling about it with @le-red-queen because finally finally someone I know has also watched it why does it feel like my friends are sleeping on this film????

also! "prey"!!!!! ohhhhh the future of horror looks bright! my favourite predator film, including the first one. it made my brain buzz, it was beautiful, it's incredibly blunt statement that the predator is barely a threat compared to rapidly expanding colonialism, the lead's journey is stellar and painful and punch-the-air and... great film

I got to spend a lot of january watching a film festival that centred on movies by indigenous people "from Turtle Island and around the world" (as it says on the website -- definitely and understandably mainly around america and canada). favourite of these was "honey moccasin" a fascinating little comedy movie that maybe predictably hooked me because it also had a queer focus within its portrayal of community

also at a local queer film festival, got to see "wildhood" a movie about a gay multiethnic mi’kmaw teen, who goes on a roadtrip looking for his mother -- think this is probably one that would be difficult to find otherwise, so youknow... check out local film festivals you never know what you'll see!

have gone on several rambles about "great freedom" and "joyland," movies that I watched relatively close together that have basically haunted me all year, acting as comparisons to nearly everything else I've seen -- think they've put ideas about queer stories in my head that are exemplified in a lot of queer writing and avant garde film-making, but often isn't seen on such a big scale, budget and quality-wise (this not to say the small-budget films are less worthy, it was just a bit heady to get to see these two and be blown over by their largeness). also something about a film that takes place in post-wwii germany and a film that takes place in modern-day pakistan feeling like they belong together to me. they're thematic, philosophical, political kin

got to go deeper into todd haynes, with "safe" and "poison" (yes yes we're super late to the todd haynes dive, but sometimes you just want to rewatch velvet goldmine a million times forever, so it takes you awhile to get to his other greatest hits). very excited to watch his latest film, sad i can't see it in theatres

watched quite a few queer documentaries, including "lotus sports club" (about a football club in indonesia run by a trans man, that provides a safe place to lesbians and trans boys), "you don't know dick" (interviews with trans men in the 90s), rose von praunheim's "transexual menace" (a sprawling, seemingly random depiction of trans people in the US -- a million amazing portraits), and "kokomo city" (a documentary about black trans women sex workers, directed by d smith, who is herself a black trans woman, music producer, excellent writer -- the way this movie is edited is so Vivid and you can tell there's so much freedom to really say things than in work that isn't community led. the philosophy, the politics, chatting while in the bath, that familiarity, that openness!)

in more classic musical news, got to see "the court jester" (only mildly a musical), "on the town" and its thematic successor "it's always fair weather," (gene kelly on rollerskates), and fiddler on the roof (finally) -- enjoyed all of them! shockingly low on musicals this year, but I intend to get inspired by @fabiansociety's list for the upcoming one

a few surprises for me were "streets of fire," which I've become mildly obsessed with, for being simply The Coolest Film you never watched as a kid (baby willem dafoe biker gang leader + music written by the guy who wrote for meatloaf and fleetwood mac??) it's just a straightup good time and also did this thing of writing a male role, casting a woman in it, and accidentally giving us a butch lesbian (with a line to make it seem like she had a boyfriend one time, but like... that doesn't take away her butch cred),

and also scorsese's "kundun," which I had no idea what to make of, because it didn't feel like a scorsese film at all. I think I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with scorsese in that I think his movies are frequently gorgeous, but his focus is almost always to the left of the people that interest me (that is, everyone around the white guys with guns who yell a lot). kundun is about the dalai lama and it is. very very anti-violence in its depiction of the invasion of tibet, because the POV is a pacifist who's shielded from seeing the violence, so the three scenes that briefly depict it are all the more shocking. and like... scorsese seems to have been coming at this movie from the perspective of education/plea for the freeing of tibet? which, yay, but... unexpected movie, that is all. also they speak english, although the actors are tibetan, including the grand nephew of the dalai lama portraying the dalai lama (I think this movie shouldn't be in english, but that is very cool). strange film, definitely watched a bootleg dvd copy with a completely wack aspect ratio that I couldn't format on the screen, but sometimes that's how you've gotta see something

a few classics. saw "jeanne dielman" for the first time, then utterly failed to describe it for everyone I talked about it with. I feel like saying "three hour long movie about a woman's repetitive life that is slowly, but surely, about to explode" is... idk, maybe it's going too much into detail. pointing out the static camera, the near-lack of dialogue, the scenes that simply consist of her sitting, and people instinctively go "oh that's a gimmick." but I also think if one can herald something like "orphee" or anything bergman did or "stalker," then this is not so off-putting (I found stalker to be a lot harder to focus on actually, which surprised me considering its subject matter). I know a lot smarter people than me have pointed out that what may truly be disturbing to people is the fact that we're following a life in such detail that isn't considered a valuable/interesting life to follow, especially not for so long. and that is... well that is just our internalised sexism. it's a good movie

this turned out quite long, but wanted to sit with some of these movies for a bit. I'd rec all of them, depending on personal preference and limitations

[luvuomi]

a sudden change of plans :) but good news is i’ll be heading back home this saturday yippee !!

[watcher-wilds]

So I've started working on my lore bible for my story to solidify everything into one document and refine the revamp into something more than just scattered ideas and random research

It's SO much fun... im a couple hours and nine pages in and having a blast :D I need to import all the old information esp on characters that's stayed relevant in the new version and then it'll just be filling in holes and making everything make sense and line up well (that's what she said) and I think I'll have something solid enough that I can use to reform the plot beats

[jorvikzelda]

Passed my exam. By a pretty large margin. :,) finally can focus on other things.. didnt realise until after how much I'd been gearing up for it lol

[aidenwaites]

I feel like I need like two straight weeks off of work and with 0 responsibilities and not even because I need A Break but because legitimately I don't know how to be at home and do anything other than wait around to go to work anymore

[hella1975]

I AM NOT BRAVE I COULD SO EASILY BE UNABASHEDLY MYSELF IN EVERY WEIRD CRINGEY WAY AND SURROUND MYSELF WITH SIMILAR PEOPLE BUT I JUST DONT IM SO SCARED OF WHAT PEOPLE THINK AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY LIKE IVE NEVER KNOWN ANYTHING BAD TO COME OF BEING MYSELF SO WHY AM I SO TERRIFIED OF IT IM SO SICK OF WAITING FOR LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE TO COME MY WAY BECAUSE THAT'S NOT FAIR WE ARE ALL SO DISGUSTED BY OURSELVES AND I WANT TO BE THE PERSON THAT CAN BE THEMSELF SO SHAMELESSLY THAT OTHER PEOPLE CAN TOO BUT I JUST CANT BECAUSE IM NOT BRAVE AND I FEAR I NEVER WILL BE anyway im going grocery shopping does anyone want anything

[quaranmine]

hoping tomorrow with the combination of day off + snow + cold weather blanket coziness that i can magically bang out some serious firewatch au progress

[cannibalistic-suggestions]

Rotting, festering on an operating table, under sunlight and moonlight. Exposed.

Lying for days, as flesh begins to pucker and flies gather curiously, kissing muscle tissue and sipping oils from cross-sectional glands. 

Are they opportunistic? Feeding on what’s been left behind? Or did they really care and consume small bits of me out of pity, to show someone is still there, in spite of it all.

I know I’ve done wrong. I almost don’t blame you for wanting vengeance, so you tore out all the terrible things that lied inside for the world to see, to cry out in disgust and leave, leave, leave. Nobody wants anything to do with something like that. Doesn’t matter if we all have the same organs in our uniform human bodies; you DARED put that on display? Your vulnerability is shameful. Revolting.

You want me to repent? I would’ve wanted you to finish mutilating me right there and then, maybe it would’ve sped up my thought process. You said I hurt others, hurt you, so why don’t I deserve to hurt in return? Why didn’t you break my bones in, snap them and shatter them, crush my miserable flesh and skin into a soupy pulp? It’s what I deserve. But after it all, you still had the audacity to say “even those like you should get a second chance.”

I’ve been rendered an open pit of blood: some parts still warm and half-clotted, but others dried to a crispy rust that flakes off pathetically from bumpy scabs. I almost don’t want to be alive anymore, and I hate that you said you’re “above” killing, all of you turning your noses up at the tainted mess I am from the moral high ground you all rent out a place in.

Why couldn’t you have just let me die? For as much as you denounce the actions my hands took, you once had kissed my fingers so gently and admired what I had made. Aren’t you tempted to destroy these tools of evil? Sever my arm and peel off every dermal layer, cut it up into pieces with your incisors and bite into flesh so deeply it splits and frays my veins. Mark me up and make me gone, wouldn’t it be the ultimate punishment?

But you’re not like that. You instead opted to leave me out here to thaw and decay, to succumb to the torturous things I ponder about while I bleed out.

Until scraps of me fall like rotten fruit, and until mold decides to grow over and cover my indecency in a soft coat so everyone forgets, I’ll ferment while I reflect.

Decomposing, because it’s all caught up to me, yet I don’t think I had a stable composition to begin with.