#have been listening to the soundtrack all day since yesterday

[whumpypepsigal]

Have you seen the new little mermaid? It was actually so much better than I thought it would be (I liked it better than the original and I LOVE the original!!) and the Eric beach scene was 👌🦋👌🦋👌🦋👌. He was truly a beautiful damsel in distress the whole movie

OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! im already getting whumperflies reading your message ahhhhhhhh. im going to watch it this coming weekend because last weekend i was working 😭. i’ve already bought my ticket and warned my friends that if they change their mind/plan last minute i will not care and WILL go to the theater alone lmao.

prince eric being a damsel in distress is just what we needed and jonah hauer-king is so damn handsome *kicking my feet up* can’t wait can’t wait can’t wait

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass)|| Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round)|| Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger)|| Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) || Chapter 6B (Without You) || Backstage (4) || Chapter 7 (Stick To Your Guns) || Chapter 8 (Time For Change) || Backstage (5) || Chapter 9 (Take Me To The Top) || Backstage (6) || Chapter 10 (Home Sweet Home) || Backstage (7) || Chapter 11a (Nightrain) || Chapter 11b (Nothing Else Matters) ||| Also posted at AO3

Chapter 12A: Handle With Care

Been beat up and battered 'round // Been sent up, and I've been shot down You're the best thing that I've ever found // Handle me with care

Soundtrack: “Handle With Care,” Traveling Wilburys, 1988 [click here to listen]

New York City || January 1988

“Watch out!”

Claire Beauchamp hoisted her overnight bag to hang from her shoulder at a different angle, biting back an insult at the man who’d just shoved into her. Nothing good would come from a confrontation, but she still flipped a middle finger from the safety of her pocket.

It was a typical weeknight rush hour at Penn Station – the squashed labyrinth that was such a poor substitute to the grand cathedral to train travel that had been so ruthlessly demolished in the 1960s. Commuters flitted across the concourse, coattails and long winter scarves flying behind as they ran to catch trains to Oyster Bay or Pennsauken. Huddled up against the walls stood the motley crew of homeless, beggars, prostitutes, drunks, and hustlers who tried to stay invisible or plied their trade among the crowd.

She’d been warned against pickpockets, and accepting “taxi” rides from strangers who approached solo women. Her fist clenched around the piece of paper she’d torn from the notebook kept by the phone in her shoebox Boston apartment, where just yesterday she’d scribbled the instructions…

Cross the Amtrak concourse. Up the stairs to the street – the Eighth Avenue side. Up the stairs of the old Farley Post Office. Third column from the left.

Cold air blasted at the top of the escalator at street level. She shoved her hands deeper into her pockets, narrowly avoiding being hit by two boys wearing Rangers jerseys. Stepped around a large puddle as she crossed Eighth Avenue. Kept her head up as she approached the post office, counting columns.

Immediately she knew it was him – though he was a good fifty yards away. Leaning against the dirty old column, long legs crossed, collar of an ancient leather jacket turned up against the cold.

He saw her immediately, too. Stood up straight. Patient.

He took her hands – so cold – at the top of the stairs.

“Why didn’t you bring gloves?”

“Why are you wearing sunglasses at night?”

“I didn’t realize you were a Corey Hart fan,” he teased, grin widening.

She threaded her fingers through his. “Hi,” she breathed.

Jamie stepped closer, still smiling. Kissed Claire long and sweet in the shadow of the column, with hundreds of people bustling by. Anonymous.

--

“And you’re sure it’s not putting him out to have me there, too?”

He hadn’t let go of her hand, and squeezed it, shifting a bit to re-fold his legs in the cramped back seat of the yellow cab.

“It’s definitely not. I’ve told him a lot about you. I hope you don’t mind. He’s really eager to meet you.”

She watched the long string of streetlights dotted down the avenue shift to green. “All right. But I still don’t understand why you won’t tell me who he is.”

“You’ll meet him soon enough.” He brought the back of her hand to his lips for a kiss. “And before you ask – you’ll have your own room. Like we talked about.”

They’d finished treatment at The Ridge just a few weeks apart – he the day after Thanksgiving, she the week before Christmas. Today was their first time together since Thanksgiving morning, in North Carolina, where she cried as he kissed her goodbye and stepped in the limousine that took him to the airport and a private plane back to Los Angeles. He’d called her at The Ridge every day, and then at her apartment in Boston once she returned there.

Because it was definitely, truly real between them. Something in their souls called out to each other. Claire was right – they were each other’s reset from a life that they hadn’t wanted. Now they wanted nothing but a life with each other.

But the Real World was hard – so, so hard. She was still on indefinite leave from the hospital; his band Print was still on hiatus, though thankfully his bloodsucking manager didn’t harass him every day anymore (he’d broken off that business arrangement, thanks to the intervention of Ned Gowan, a fellow patient at The Ridge who turned out to have quite a sharp legal mind when he wasn’t smoking crack). They had returned to their “normal” places, but struggled to build new normal routines.

They talked every day – multiple times a day – running up an astronomical long distance bill that Jamie said he’d pay for Claire. They talked about the people they knew at The Ridge, and the mundane things each of them had done that day, and crazy people Claire had seen in the grocery store, and kind fan letters Jamie had received. They talked about Jamie’s plans to do a string of acoustic concerts in the spring, testing out the dozen new songs he’d written at The Ridge (and since his return) about Claire, and sobriety, and finding strength, and Claire. And they talked about Claire’s plan to return to work, but perhaps as a family physician rather than the pressure cooker of surgery. And they talked about the life they’d build, and the places they could live.

They agreed to take their relationship slow. Not just because of his history with women – but because they could. He invited her to his house in LA, and quickly said that the guest wing was really great and completely at her disposal. She invited him to her cramped Back Bay apartment, and offered her lumpy couch.

All of it was like a dream. So when last night Jamie had asked her to meet him in New York, she didn’t realize that he meant the next day. Because that would make the dream real. Transform the voice on the phone to the living, breathing man that had held the taxi door open for her, and insisted she meet his new sobriety sponsor.

“I know you told me last night how you were introduced to him. But it’s a bit of a blur. Would you mind telling me again?”

He traced the back of her hand with his thumb. “Dougal introduced us.”

“Dougal MacKenzie? From The Ridge?”

He nodded. “They’ve known each other for a long, long time. Ran in some of the same circles, back in the 60s. This guy was living down the street from The Vanguard – that’s a jazz club in Greenwich Village. He and his band would go there every night to check out Dougal’s quartet. I think Dougal played saxophone. Anyway, he and Dougal shared a mutual interest in two things – jazz, and smack. They had the same dealer and everything.”

“But I assume he’s clean now?”

“Yup. He and Dougal got clean around the same time. Dougal left the big city and started The Ridge. This guy stayed. Almost lost his band and his wife. But he’s stronger than ever. And I want to do that, Claire. I want to be like him.”

The cab braked to a stop in front of a handsome brownstone. Claire fished in her pocket for a twenty, and slipped it through the plexiglass divider next to the driver before Jamie could even blink.

He huffed. “I’ll get your bag out of the trunk.”

--

A kindly, middle-aged woman answered the door when Jamie knocked. “You must be Claire! Come in, get out of the cold.”

Claire stepped through the entryway and shrugged out of her coat, hanging it on the coatrack. The entryway opened into a foyer – a staircase hugged the wall at one end, and the long, narrow hallway ended in what could only be the kitchen. Framed gold records – at least a dozen – dotted the wall along the hallway.

“I’ll take your bag to the guest room.” Jamie was already halfway up the stairs.

Claire turned to her hostess. The woman appeared to be in her fifties – laugh lines creased her eyes, and her blonde hair was twisted in a chic bun. “Thank you so much again for your hospitality – ”

“Oh! How rude of me. I’m Glenna.”

Claire gently shook the offered hand. “Thank you, Glenna. You have a beautiful home.”

Glenna smiled. “My husband and I bought it with the advance from his second record, back in ’65. We’ve fixed it all up, over the years. Having projects here really helped him once he got clean, because he had something to really focus on.”

Claire nodded. “Are you – ”

“In recovery? No – I never touched the smack, or anything else. Our daughter was born right before his first record, and then our son a few years later. I couldn’t be high and take care of them, too.” She paused. “Jamie said you met at The Ridge?”

Claire nodded. “Pills. Halcions, mostly. I’m a surgeon, and I threw my career away after my divorce. It’s funny to say, but Jamie was the absolutely last thing that I needed.”

Glenna shook her head. “That’s how it always works, honey. It was the same with me and Alec. Here I am, minding my own business, working as a typist at Columbia Records, when this group of four scruffy guys in sunglasses and leather jackets and motorcycle boots shuffle in to see their A&R guy. Alec took one look at me, and the next thing I know I’m down at the Village Vanguard and he’s holding my hand. We got married six weeks later. That was 34 years ago.”

Claire blinked. “That’s some story.”

“It’s all true.” A middle-aged man appeared from down the hall, kitchen towel slung over his shoulder. “She almost divorced me when I blew ten grand on smack instead of pay the kids’ school tuition. But somehow she stuck with me.” He reached out a hand, smiling kindly. “Alec MacMahon. Welcome to our home.”

Jamie padded softly down the stairs.

Claire frowned a bit, then it dawned on her.

“Alec MacMahon?” she said a bit dumbly. “Holy shit. I had an Uprising poster on my bedroom wall in high school.”

“Which one? The Master of the Horse album cover?” Jamie stepped next to Claire, grinning.

She nodded, mind still processing. “I wore out the record, I listened to it so much.”

Alec smiled. “Well, thanks for buying it. Put my son through college, that record did. But I’m a terrible host. Let’s take a seat in the living room.”

To be continued...

[mooodyblue]

elvis tag game by @headfullofpresley 💗

this is gonna be so loong i apologize in advance 😭😭 i have a lot of thoughts and opinions

tagging: @lllsaslll @elvisfatass @prayerstopresley @kiankiwi-blog and whoever wants to do this 😅

questions under the cut bc i rly listed a good chunk of his discography lol

When was the first time you heard of Elvis?

i'm sure my parents have played something of his growing up, i was more into mj than anything else. i wish i could remember like....the first real time i was ever really introduced to him. he's been referenced in so many of my interests that im sure there was i time i was like 10 and being like "oh that's an elvis reference" lol

what's your favorite era?

70s!!!! big daddy era as y'all call it 😅

favorite song(s) from the 50s?

trying to get to you, i'm counting on you, love me, don't be cruel, lawdy miss clawdy, as long as i have you, trouble, crawfish, i want you i need you i love you, one sided love affair, loving you, young and beautiful ...... i should probably stop before i list them all

favorite song(s) from the 60s

fever, such a night, im coming home, pocketful of rainbows, edge of reality, almost in love, can't help falling in love, the walls have ears, do not disturb, cotton candy land, it's now or never, rubberneckin', summer kisses winter tears, crying in the chapel, suspicious minds....literally everything on from elvis in memphis. god i want to list more but i need to STOP!!

favorite song(s) from the 70s

runaway, polk salad annie, you've lost that loving feeling, moody blue(duh), rags to riches, funny how time slips away, american trilogy!!!!!!!!!, hurt, make the world go away, the wonder of you

all time favorite songs that you can't skip?

suspicious minds, an american trilogy, pocketful of rainbows, i'm coming home, rubberneckin', honestly there's so many. i feel bad if i skip sometimes LOL

least favorite song?

im so sorry but tutti frutti💔

favorite gospel song(s)?

i still need to dive more into his gospel music, but i really love crying in the chapel and you never walk alone.

favorite country song(s)?

funny how time slips away, kentucky rain, always on my mind, make the world go away

favorite non english song?

wooden heart <3

a song(s) that make you feel nostalgic?

can't help falling in love 💗

a song(s) that makes you cry?

unchained melody!!!!! lord i can barely listen to it 😭

a song(s) that make you wanna dance?

rubberneckin', im coming home, got a lot o' livin to do, polk salad annie, suspicious minds

favorite song elvis as covered?

any day now and yesterday

what's a modern song you wish you could hear elvis cover?

i think he'd eat up two ghosts or ever since new york by harry styles tbh.

do you prefer vinyl or cd?

vinyl!!! i actually don't own a single elvis cd, just vinyls(cassettes too!)

favorite album?

self titled and from elvis in memphis <3

favorite movie soundtrack?

king creole for SURE

favorite live performance?

the laughing version of are you lonesome tonight 😅 also welcome to my world from aloha from hawaii !!!

a live performance you wish you were present at?

aloha from hawaii 100% but also literally any of his vegas shows in '69 because that entire live album had me laughing my ass off LMAO

favorite jumpsuits?

THIS ONE.

favorite movie(s)?

king creole, loving you, live a little love a little, follow that dream and girl happy(mostly because elvis in a dress)

least favorite movie(s)?

stay away joe, kissin' cousins, and double trouble.

favorite costar?

michele carey <3 i luv bernice

favorite documentary?

that's the way it is

favorite interview?

i didn't even have to THINK about this one. i know this is a press conference but idk. same thing? anyway, june 9th 1972 new york hilton elvis i want you so bad !!!!!! it's iconic and i just love how he is with everyone 😭

favorite car?

idk after i first watched elvis (2022) i wanted a pink cadillac so LOL

do you collect merch? if so, what's the one thing you hold most dear to your heart?

i do!! i have his vinyls mostly. but my tcb necklace is my lucky charm at this point, i just wish i had gotten it in silver instead of gold 😅

do you think you'll be a fan of elvis for the rest of your life?

absolutely. ive had a lot of interests and have lost interest in a lot of things but this is so much more different. he truly is everything to me and i've never felt so connected with someone in my whole life. i really do adore him.

[theskee]

today (day BEFORE yesterday as of posting, i started this but... uh. didn't finish it.) i ventured out to the local used book store to see if they carried calendars.

you see, my child just started school as of yesterday, today was their first full day of kindergarten and they are in the process of being evaluated for either a 504 Plan or an IEP and it's been stressful. i have been in fight or flight mode for i dunno. nine months now. the process of all of this was a nightmare but now i'm finally across what feels like the real starting line.

i had to get a lot of help from my friends to get through this whole situation and today... i decided to do something good for myself and try and reclaim the independence i gave up the last nearly six years when i decided to become a full time stay at home parent.

i have experienced so many interesting and life affirming things recently, from reconnecting with one of my dearest friends, to being corrected by the school social worker when i met him-- i said 'i don't work' and he emphatically and encouragingly said "outside the home" offering more value and credit than i am ever prone to offering myself.

today... was special.

i went in while my child was at school and perused the CD section to bring home some new fun soundtracks for the kiddo and then an employee approached me. he's an older gentleman, maybe early sixties or late fifties, a little stiff at first, but he asked if i needed any help.

i asked if they sold any calendars, and he said no but he thought they might still have some free ones hanging around and found one for me. it was very kind and i was like 'well thank you, just the CDs then.'

he saw one of my choices was the O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack (my kiddo likes some country and is really into soundtracks right now and i personally love the soundtrack, it always reminds me of my late father, who was a big fan of the movie and had a massive crush on Clooney) and commented on how much he thought he didn't like country music until he started listening to older country.

myself, being from KY originally, and raised on good ol' bluegrass and a healthy dose of pro union, working-man's country, completely understand the distinction between the popularized modern country music we are most likely to hear, and and what came before that informed some of it. we got to talking about that, and the next thing i know we're talking about the importance of buying local, how much supporting small businesses is, and how hard it can be for a small business to compete with the likes of bezosmart.

i mentioned my favorite author, Jason Pargin, who encouraged his readers to buy from their local bookstores first and foremost and then i said as a writer, i hope to advocate that way if i can ever get published. this-- sparked a conversation in which he joyfully told me that he was finally getting a couple books he'd written published, one traditionally and one self published.

I congratulated him and expressed that I hope to do the same, that I've been writing since I was 12, told him about my long history with fanfiction, how I love writing but haven't managed to get myself to finish anything original in that time. And he gave me this look... it was so fond and kind.

He said, with just... reverence in his voice. "You've been writing since you were 12? You're a writer."

And I gotta say this man did more to heal my soul with that one statement than all my years of therapy.

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 21/12/2023

Lifelike Waterway

Season 4 Episode 1 Featured on: FIRST STRIKE ~ SiIvaGunner: King for Another Day Tournament Original Soundtrack VOL. 1

Ripped by l4ureleye

Every since the year the King for Another Day tournament came to a close, the Christmas season has always brought back memories of it. It was such a huge event, and only really happened to land around the Christmas season due to delays in production, yet it all felt so befitting - the kind of comforting, communal feel of the holidays just fit a tournament of this ilk so well. And while yesterday, with 11 Minutes of City Pop, I wrote about the tournament's beloved silver medalist, today we're going lower down in the ranks - to a combatant many thought went out before he could've shown his true potential.

To say that Cave Story means a lot to me would be an understatement - I alluded to it earlier this month with Whip Fortress, but its a game whose aesthetics and music have stuck with me and thousands of people all over the world for so many years. We all knew Quote would have bangers in the tournament, yet by the time he was up to bat, he'd barely had any arrangements up on the channel to truly show his stuff. That's not to mention the fact that his source list even included other early-2000s indie games, yet...before that could be taken advantage of, the voting was settled and he was out for the count. When his catalogue of arrangements started to finally be rolled out, there was an era of...sorrow, in their comment sections. And Lifelike Waterway was no exception to that - to me back then, it was the moment that it truly sunk in that Quote was down and out.

The dour circumstances of the rip were not something that the team could've ever planned around - the arrangements were obviously made far in advance before the voting actually happened. Yet as also happened with Geno and DEARLY BELOVED..., his loss added a magical form of ambience to the music, a secret spice to turn a chill arrangement into a full-on tribute in his memory. I've talked at length about l4ureleye's ripping prowess on the blog before with rips like Hopes and Divinity+ and SICKO TALE - she has an unparalleled ability to create entire worlds and galaxies in your mind, out of nothing but her sound. From the mashups to the remixes, she's uncontested in the art of lo-fi, music that sounds relaxing yet simultaneously gives off the feeling of venturing into an endlessly-deep cavern. With KFAD, she was able to flex her powers to absurd levels, and if you've been listening along you may already know what I mean.

The original Lifelike Waterway already marked one of the most intense emotional points of Cave Story, yet Lifelike Waterway is able to spin that melody, that soothing yet haunting tune into something else entirely. Its far from a faithful arrangement, yet the new atmosphere it creates is just so...gripping. Its hard to put into words the emotions it makes me feel, yet its palpably a blend of the feelings I still have from Cave Story, and the feelings from Quote's fallout in the tournament - yet, the arrangement doesn't fill me with sadness, either. Its more like...the feeling of taking long, deep breaths. The feeling that everything's going to be okay.

...Look, it's difficult to find many specifics to comment on with an arrangement that's as thorough and all-encompassing as this. All of this is really just to say, that Quote's part played in the tournament really highlighted just how emotionally attached many of us have become to this silly little music project, how SiIvaGunner has brought new emotional meaning to characters they didn't even create - and, most of all, that l4ureleye is a genius.

[cuurlyhair]

Musical Obsessions

Dear Diary...

Oh my fucking God, how many times has music saved all of our lives?

how is it possible that a song of a few minutes (from songs like album intros that can last just over 1 minute to those 8/9 minute songs that change beat) can completely change your mood?

Since I was as small mushroom I have always been exposed to many musical genres, mostly Rock/Grunge from my father and Pop/Old Rap from my mother, and I'm happy about that because I couldn't imagine a moment in my life when I wasn't listening to something, maybe I had my MP3, or maybe I was in the car with my parents.

Every single day my musical tastes are transformed and always enhance something new, I'm always willing to find new music, because I think that's the most important thing in life.

How do people who don't listen to music manage to... exist? How do they manage not to soundtrack every move you make? What do they do when they go to the bus stop, draw, play, do housework, walk down the street, etc?

"I don't really like listening to music." Yesterday I heard this phrase from a stranger in my town and it felt like my heart was broken on his behalf, I was like "BROTHA EWWW" because what the fuck- I don't even want to think about it.

Music has always been an important part of my life, especially when I was a little teenager it helped me so much that I'm still here on this earth writing a little blog on Tumblr.

I've always been quite flexible with musical genres (I think, I hope), obviously I have both my preferences (Pop and Rap) and not (Metal and Classic), but in general I like a lot of songs from many genres.

How wonderful is it to discover a song and knowing that you will start listening ONLY TO THAT FOR DAYS? maybe even weeks like in my case... It's like music always gives me one more reason not to end it like now, and I will always thank it.

When I needed to cry it was there,

When I needed to distract myself it was there,

When I wanted to dance it was there,

When I wanted to think it was there,

When I wanted to study it was there.

To feel good I just need my black headphones (RIP, they're dying), a cigarette and take a long breath to relax and feel better, really.

In general, I am a person who obsesses over something for hours, or days, or even months, and can't stop doing it - I don't say as if it were my personality, but almost.

And what's better than a daily obsession with a song? I NEED to hear that song, that voice, that beat and those vibes at full volume 24/7 that I want to hold onto until I hate them.

I listen mostly to English/American music, but there are many Italian artists that WOW.

MINA;

Tiziano Ferro;

Fabri Fibra;

Neffa;

Subsonica;

Modà;

Negramaro;

Gue Pequeno;

Frah Quintale;

Luche.

And there would be other artists to add, because there is never enough of it.

I was thinking... I'd like to make a folder with Italian songs in which I put a bit of the aesthetic that I think they emanate and the English translation of the lyrics! It can be fun.

-your dear, cuurlyhair

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2023-10-09

Somehow bionicle is in this one

Listening: I looked at the date on my oven yesterday and it was 08-10 and I was like hey isn't that Bionicle Day. The answer is no, because it's Americans and Bionicle Day was the tenth of August. Anyway turns out that this year some fans got the original voice of Vakama to do a tribute video? And also Cryoshell dropped a new song.

Cryoshell is one of the funniest bands I know. They had little success until they got contracted in by an ad agency to do music for Bionicle, they did Creeping in My Soul for the Voya Nui arc in 2007 and ended up getting contracted in basically every year after that to whip up some music for Bionicle. They remain to this day extremely closely associated with the Bionicle fandom, like, you know, releasing their latest track on Bionicle day.

They are, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, and with all the love in my heart, the Evanescence we have at home. Bionicle had just saved Lego less than a decade earlier and the media effort around Bionicle was very well designed, which included making the perfect AMV soundtrack for 13 year olds to set their stop motion Bionicle fight scenes to. Of course I don't know anything about using a webcam and extremely dubious stop motion software to produce extensive Bionicle fanvideos. What are you talking about.

I am going to leave it here but there is so much to say about Cryoshell. Seriously just go look it up. Their music is actually very good if you like that particular symphonic metal alt rock style that was so emblematic of the 2000's.

Reading: Ended up on a research dive about small towns, because I now live in a country with a lot of small towns. Attempting to do and find a comparative anatomy of how small towns are administered around the world and what drives their success or failure. There is a lot of stuff from the Trump years when he apparently made some gestures towards the idea that people should just move out of doomed towns.

As always in the USA, housing affects everything, both in that homeownership ties people to their towns and that moving to a new city requires paying often prohibitively expensive rents. There are a lot of conservative blogs taking on this question and doing some dubious interpretations of mostly good data.

I am teasing at the thread of "limits of local government in small towns" which seems to be leading somewhere but it's still not well supported. There's a lot of factors.

Watching: the Loading Ready Run 20th Anniversary Subathon is on until this Friday. Since I was mostly watching during American night I caught primarily their watchalong of old videos, which is cute but not exactly that novel. I do like LRR.

Making: More 3D printing, trying to get the hang of modelling off a photo to make a nozzle adapter for my vacuum cleaner. Also made a little stand for my temperature and humidity sensor so I can see it when I'm sitting down or standing up more easily.

Playing: Beat Breath of the Wild finally. It was so long.

The final fight was kind of anticlimactic, between the assists you get from the divine beasts and all your power-ups I feel like I didn't have to puzzle it out as much as I did for some of the blight Ganon fights. I have kind of accepted that I just don't like the endings of most video games.

I did first go around and do the Champions' Ballad DLC quest because I stumbled into it, it's a nice set of little challenges plus some vignettes of the champions to help characterize them some more. I kind of wish you could walk around the world post-endgame and like, talk to some of the people you've met and see what they have to say. Eh.

Tools and Equipment: I have been storing my butter at room temperature the past few weeks, because it makes it much easier to spread. Modern butter is both very high fat and pasteurized so it won't go off for well over a week even if you just left it out, but the main concern is rancidity, which can happen quite quickly.

My Pro Tip is that you don't have to store the whole damn block. Euro butter is 250g blocks and I cut that into four ~60g cubes that I keep in a sealed plastic container in the cupboard one at a time. Just top it up as you go. I think American sticks are like 100g so you could cut it in half. South African butter usually comes in 500g so you'd have to cut that in like eighths.

[boringbones]

Tag 9 People You Want to Know Better

Very kind of you @missy-hissy ! I think it's one of my first times in a tag like this. As someone who has never been to a 15th birthday party before, I feel lucky to be able to participate in this xD

Last Song: Not definitely the last song I listened to, but I've been frequently listening to Beyoncé's new album. It has a great beat, and I broke my record by running 5 kilometers in 23 minutes while listening to it. It's my go-to workout song from now on.  Apart from that, the soundtrack of The Sims 1 and 2 is constantly on my daily playlist.

Last Show:  I haven't finished watching it yet, but I'm definitely a fan of Marie Forleo. She has a fascinating program on YouTube, and she herself is a fascinating woman, with captivating guests. The last show I watched was this one with Seth Godin

Currently Watching: Young Sheldon. We finished watching all six seasons yesterday, my girlfriend and I. I laughed a lot, and I loved that the sixth season gave more prominence to the other members of Sheldon's family. They are as fascinating as Sheldon himself, and I can see a bit of myself in each of them. Even in Sheldon himself. Haha ( I love his grandma too! That woman is the part of me that would break any rule simply because she can and because she wants to.)

Currently Reading: The last book I read (although it's been a while since I read) was this incredible book by Marie Forleo: Everything is Figureoutable. However, a book that changed my life and the way I perceive God/Religion and connected me to real-life experiences was "Conversations with God." These authors not only inspire me daily, but here's a little-known fact: I'm also a writer, and it was through this connection that I published my book “Tomando um chá com o universo / Having Tea with the Universe - The path from non-religion to living the life of your dreams and finding happiness" In it, I share the process I underwent to rid myself of "information overload" and find a path where I no longer let myself be guided solely by the pursuit of purpose, but instead embrace the fascinating art of being alive and present each day. In other words, finding meaning and joy in all things, rather than being consumed by the constant search for "purpose," which is often more of an ideal than a reality.

A book that I recommend to all artists who are reading this: "The War of Art." Once you read this book, your creative process will never be the same. If you can't find it, any other book by Steven Pressfield should be on your reading list as soon as possible! It offers valuable insights and strategies to overcome creative blocks and resistance.

Current Obsession:  My current obsession has been finding ways to make The Sims 3 even more fascinating! I've been doing this for the past three years, mostly through visual enhancements. However, this year I started delving into tuning mods and XML, and it's fascinating how many behaviors and mechanics can be improved just by tweaking a few lines! I'm definitely enabling a series of autonomous behaviors and seeking ways to make them smarter and more methodical. My ideal for The Sims 3 is not to have full control over everything but rather to be an observer who influences certain moments in my Sims' lives. To achieve that, I need to ensure that they can do EVERYTHING possible on their own to explore their lives to the fullest. I want to guarantee surprises and unpredictability, with my presence there only to support and occasionally influence them. Apart from that, I'm also fascinated by Life By You and how I can migrate all these enhancements to it when it's released.

So I’ll tag: @math-blogging, @grandelama, @thesims1master, @microscotch, @pixelated-sim, @itssimplythesims, @simsi45, @kevinvoncrastenburg, @landgraabsims

Naturally, feel free to ignore if you don’t fancy doing this and above all, have a terrific day!

[imagineanime2022]

Punk Rock

Reki Kyan X Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1131

Requested: Anon

Request: I saw ur taking request I noticed u taking sk8 infinity I was wondering if you do reki x fem reader where the reader well known punk rock singer and she tends to skate sometimes but singing is her hobby and known around s and such and like she mostly keeps hides her face hidden but secretly it’s reki close friend who the singer and maybe she performs a song and reki is mesmerized by her like noticed it was reader since her voice sounded so familar and reki confront reader confesses since she liked her ever since he laid eyes her from s  and such and be supportive sorry it’s cheesy maybe Miya could feature as like lil fanboy lol

Songs I recommend for this fic is ado -backlight from one piece red soundtrack Aslo another song from the soundtrack is fleeting lullaby

Aslo English cover by rachie well known YouTuber anime singer btw song named usseewa English cover by rachie  listen to the these songs highly recommended whatever song u like u can add to the fic if that makes sense take as much time as u need 🫶🏻

A/N: I didn’t mention what song you were performing just so that everyone can choose their own song. Hope that okay!

Reki had always been mesmerized by the punk rock entertainer that filled the time between races at S, he had never been able to talk to her, she was always surrounded by other people. No one had ever seen her face but for some reason she seemed familiar to him, he could never figure it out but none of that mattered after he left S and settled back into his normal life, in fact he was often occupied by fixing skateboards or hanging out with you, the only person that ever told him that he was amazing will until Langa came along.

You were sitting in Reki’s workshop with your guitar on your leg, one earphone in your ear as you hummed to yourself before scribbling something out and changing it “You should perform.” Reki mumbled as you looked at him and shrugged. “Maybe one day.” You answered. “You write all of this stuff for it to end up on a shelf somewhere, they’re worth performing.” Reki complained as he glanced over at Langa who was reading a skating magazine “right Langa?” There was no answer. “Right Langa?” He said louder this time and you giggled. “Yeah sure.” Langa answered without looking up from the magazine. “Very convincing.” You nodded as you put the guitar to the side. “Don’t listen to him, he doesn’t know anything about music.” Reki muttered. “Then why’d you ask him?” You asked, Reiki shrugged as he scratched the back of his head. “Alright you two, let's find somewhere to eat.”

It was yet another night at S this time however, while the rocker was performing Miya was standing on one side and Langa was on the other “Hey doesn’t that sound like (Y/N)?” Langa asked. “Who?” Miya asked as he looked over, seeming very interested in finding out your identity. “Why do you care?” Reki asked. “Are you kidding me she’s so cool!” Miya cheered as he looked over at her on stage. “(Y/N) is a friend of Reki’s, she’s the one that’s with us at the workshop all the time.” Langa answered. “You know she thinks you're her friend too,” Reki mumbled. “She’s his friend?” Miya asked. “No, she’s not, (Y/N) doesn’t perform.” Reiki dismissed them. “Have you ever asked her, besides doesn’t this sound like the sound that she was humming yesterday?” Langa asked. “I thought you weren’t listening.” Reki muttered as he turned back to the performer and listened to the song that she was singing. “You assumed that I wasn’t listening.” Langa answered.

Reki was left thinking that night, he laid awake in his bed, thinking about the punk rock performer and before long he was reaching for his phone, he quickly sent you a message.

R: Are you awake? Y: Yeah what are you doing awake? R: I need to ask you something. Y: Sure R: Are you sure that you’ve never performed anywhere, like maybe at a place called S Y: Ask me what you want to ask me Ki. R: There’s a punk performer there, is that you? Y: Can we talk about this tomorrow? I’d prefer to talk about this in person.

Reki didn’t answer that last message, he let his phone fall till it rested on his chest, he didn’t have an answer for sure but he was sure that you were going to tell him that Langa was right but for now he would have to be happy with that. He honestly thought with how much he liked you he would have noticed that it was you but it took a mutual friend to jolt his brain.

The next day he met you at your house eager to hear what you had to say. When you opened the door and invited him in, he could see that you were nervous but he waited for you to speak. “I am who you think I am.” You said as you opened a draw in your bedroom and took out the mask that you used to hide your face. “When you said that I should perform, I didn’t know if I could and I never intended to but when I ended up at S for the first time, I just decided to go for it, no one could see my face so there was nothing that to lose.” “I knew that you would be amazing.” Reki mumbled and you looked at him and smiled. “You did and you were the reason that I first got on the stage, you always face your fears head on and that made me try and face mine.” You explained and he nodded. “There’s one thing that I need to say before I can be sure that I’ve faced all of them.” Reki answered. “Huh?” You asked but before you could really process what had happened Reki connected your lips in a shy rushed kiss. “Woah.” “I always really liked you, you know, you were cool and you always believed in me, you told me that I could do anything and now I know that your even more amazing, I just have to tell you-” You cut him off by connecting your lips again, this time you slowed it down, were a little more gentle, although you had to pull away before long because you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. “I’m glad that you said that.” You said “I like you too.”

Later that day, you and Reki were headed to S because you had a performance and Langa was going to race, Reki was carrying you on his back after you complained about having to walk, you mask was clipped to the inside of your jacket so people wouldn’t approach you but when Miya came to join you all  Reki decided to tease him a little. “Bet you're only here for the performance.” Reki teased as he looked at the younger male, your eyes shifted over to see who he was talking to. “Reki, what are you up to?” You asked. “Of course I am, she's awesome!” Miya cheered. “Aww thanks.” You smiled as you wriggled for Reki to put you down, you’d seen him hang out with the boys on more than one occasion so that was why you opened your jacket and let him see the mask that was clipped on the inside. “You're very kind.” Miya didn’t say anything, his mouth falling open. “Your-” “Yup she is, and she’s my girlfriend.” Reki gloated and you looked at him and rolled your eyes. “Seriously?” Miya asked. “He’s not that bad.” You smiled “anyway I’ve got to get ready, I’ll come by afterward though.” “I’ll be waiting.” Reki winked. “You're gross.” Miya mumbled as you began to push your way through the crowd to get ready for your performance.

Request Here!!

[beautyofsorrow]

🎶✨🎢!!

🎶Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

not usually! sometimes i will turn on a george winston album (plains or summer or autumn, depending on the time of year), but lyrics distract the hell out of me. if my neighbors are being noisy (...all the time these days...) i will turn on rainymood to help drown out the tv/music/screaming

notable past exceptions have been "burning house" by cam which i looped the entire time i wrote a certain saffianna fic (and now cannot listen to OR read because of it) and "sweet but psycho" by ava max which has been an earworm since april 2022 and the soundtrack to like every saffi fic i wrote between 2x07 and 2x10 airing. for some reason i was able to write with those on

usually i just loop a song obsessively before/after i write tho. like yesterday when i looped "another kind of love" by amy grant for 5 hours and pretended not to see the religious parts so it coded as aro. or "tokyo sunrise" by LP which was the soundtrack to plotting the saffianna fic that ends origin stories. or that time i looped "soolaimon" by neil diamond while writing [fic i cannot remember because i write too much]. (update: i triangulated using ao3 and my youtube history and it's most likely "call me maybe") (no i did not loop that song while writing that fic but yes i have looped that song in the past) (it's catchy)

however. i think the song i have looped the most often aside from "sweet but psycho" is this ava max/avril lavigne mashup. tremendously good earworm. 257billion out of 10

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

u put so much thought into your titles and epigraphs. absolutely wild how they add five more layers to an already deeply layered fic. gonna be thinking about this for the next 5-10 business years <- things i have said aloud to myself while obsessively rereading a certain l'una fic

also your character voices are Impeccable <- thing i have been thinking A LOT because i have finally unlocked the secret to una chin-riley and i'm starting to get there with chapel and la'an

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

it's the AU. we have not even begun to get to the wild parts, but anything that takes tamsyn muir as inspiration is going to be balls to the wall buck wild. unfortunately for you all it mostly lives in my head. but i can say with confidence none of you are ready. except maybe zanna bc they get my unhinged notes in DMs all the time

writing-wise i think that time i revised/expanded my seven/jay fic and typed a combined total of 23k in 1 week was. a lot. there was also the time i decided to write smut for the first time and i decided to do it at work and people kept coming into my cubicle to chat and i had to pretend i didn't have 1000 words of naked women on my screen. don't write smut at work, kids. it's not worth the stress

fanfic writer emoji ask

[beangods]

1, 2, 4, 8, 12, and 20

aaaaaaaa thank uuuuuuuuuuu

the ask game

1. my favorite song right now

I Am Machine- Three Days Grace

mfw i left this for last bc i straight up havent been listening to music that much but this is the last song i heard before losing my earbuds last wednesday. i got a new pair after failing to find them but these ones really dont fit my ears as good :/ anyway yeah i AM machine rn

2. favorite song of all time

Lootin' in London- RDGLDGRN

literally so so hard to choose but i gotta come back to this one. i remember the first time i heard it like it was yesterday (on late sunday night radio) and they were the local opener for the last ever dc101 chili cookoff (concert hosted by local rock radio station; has not occurred since 2013 sadly; would have killed to go to it) SO imagine my surprise when i found that ppl all over the world have heard it as the soundtrack to some random racing game. afaik the band is pursuing separate acts now but IF I COULD i would get them on the soundtrack of the next tmnt movie STAT. anyway yeah i have other favorites but this is one that came to mind

4. song from my favorite album

Trouble- The Butchies

another toughie BUT there are no bad songs on this album i swear to god so i GUESS it's my (current) favorite.

8. song that my parents like

Caress Me Down- Sublime

i have very little data on music that both my parents like (they are divorced; dad likes blues and mom likes white 90s hip hop and stoner rock) but i remember a distinct abundance of reggae rock in my childhood, at least some of which is still on my dad's million-year-old ipod. and this song specifically i remember them dancing to it when i was maybe seven

12. song from the 90s

Detachable Penis- King Missile

"song" is a strong word to use here, but it is definitely From The Nineties and also quite literally a description of my life as a trans man. this hasn't happened to me yet, but i know that it will, and if it doesn't i definitely know somebody to whom this has happened or will happen. this song changed my life fr when i heard it on the radio age 12

20. an underrated song

S1GHT- @toasht

literally cant get more underrated than this <250 note homestuck fantrack from 2016 but it is EASILY one of my top favorite hs fansongs and is something i always keep coming back to even though im probably getting lethal doses of swag radiation from it

[lorenlily]

hey, feb anon here

sorry for not messaging for a couple days, i meant to but kept being distracted and forgetting, sorry

yeah, i think that i might watch the new ant man movie cause i do like those ones, but overally marvel and disney+ just annoys me now, especially since everything i want to watch is on it and i don't have it (yes i may be slightly bitter, but no mind)

i really need to get round to watching the amazing spiderman movies, they seem really good.

oh i love the songs maisie has on the trying soundtrack, especially party and i want you to change. the list is also like one of the most comforting songs ever, i listen to it all the time when i'm feeling bad.

i think right now my favourite maisie song is details. i love the ones where she's just being really honest about not necessarily being in the right and being kinda mean and rude and abdigfahbab i just love the song

like yeah, i don't want to hear about the mixtapes, or the cigarettes she smokes, and i don't want to hear about the one time you met up in that park we'd always go, so i'll ignore her and she'll be really nice to me, and i know i'm being bitter and jealous and mean.

sorry i've gone on about maisie for too long now

OH WAIT, SHE ANNOUNCED THAT THE ALBUM NAME IS THE GOOD WITCH, AND SHE KEEPS USING TORNADO EMOJIS WHEN POSTING ABOUT THE ALBUM, SO I THINK THERE'S GONNA BE LOTS OF WIZARD OF OZ IMAGERY AND LYRICS AND YEAH I'M REALLY EXCITED

ok yeah, now i'm done with the chatter about maisie.

derry girls is amazing, i'm watching it as i'm writing this actually! if you haven't tried it yet then you really should, it's absolutely hilarious!!!!!

i have to get around to reading djats, it sounds really good.

ok, onto taylor. i appreciate the support for my top three, and it hurts my heart to see people hating on my beloved coney island and labyrinth. no taste, they have absoluteluy no taste.

i am most excited for speak now when it comes to rerecordings because it has some of her most intense songs, both lyrically and vocally, so hearing her grown up 33 year old voice when she's belting in haunted and dear john and mine and sparks fly is something i'm so excited for, not even to mention hearing a 33 year old taylor singing dear john and innocent and never grow up with 14 years to have spent looking back and growing up and learning. it'll just be amazing.

when it comes to vault tracks, funnily enough i think it's 1989. because we know now that she was struggling a lot with her mental health in that era, but she didn't really want to release songs about it or talk about it in the public eye like she does now, and the only song on that album that even gets close to adressing stuff like that is clean. but now, i think she will feel more comfortable talking about that and i think there will be a lot more emotionally intense songs, or just songs referencing those situations. like how in red tv we got things like nothing new and forever winter, that she never would have released in 2012.

also, by that time in her career she was a lot better about not having leaks occur, so we really have no clue about possible 1989 vault songs, unlike speak now or debut.

i haven't watched any of the movies or tv shows you said but i'll have to check some of them out. i'm really excited for maybe a trailer from pjo series as well though!!! i can't wait!!!!!! i think that you would write an amazing book!!!!!! but i get the whole not being able to actually get the ideas down on paper. i started writing a couple stories (ff) in 2021, and i haven't updated them since februrary of that year, which is slightly crazy, but yeah that's how long it's been.

omg, i just realized what day it is.

exactly two years ago yesterday, i was watching a gyoutube video where the woman making it went off on a tangent about how amazing and heartbreaking the song dear john was. i immediatly went and listened to the song, over and over, and then watched every reaction to that song on the internet. then i, over the next few months, listened to the entirety of taylor's discography. goddamn, i can't believe it's been two years, that's crazy.

good thing i did though, it's the reason i even know who you are and am sending this message.

anyways, wow that was a lot of rambling, i swear when i write these on a computer it just completely gets away from me and i end up writing a ridiculous amount

hey maybe you should try writing your stories in asks to your friends, i can vouch that it makes you write a ridiculous amount.

how are you doing today? and how was your valentines day? i hope it was good and i am sending you flowers and chocolates and little heart pillows and just general happiness.

so yeah, i hope all is good with you and this puts a smile on your face.

and hey, you are over halfway through februrary, and i am so incredibly proud of you <3

hiiiiiii

yep absolutely the amazing spiderman movies are my faves but prepare for a lot of tears in the second one (sorrry!)

i really love the list i just saw a video of her performing it when i was on tiktok and details omg i really love when songs are a little mean!! like high infidelity and skip that part by x ambassadors ft jensen mcrae (that one is really mean!)

the good witch is such a great name for an album and i really really really love the whole album cover for it! i'm very excited for it and the rest of the imagery and sound especially saying the songs sound like spells and hexes (ahhhh more mean songs pls!!)

coney island and labyrinth my beloveds <3 and omg i love how you found her through reaction videos there's so many now especially with more people listening to album tracks! dear john is still my favourite track 5 and until folklore/evermore and onwards, speak now has always had my favourite vocals from her albums and i can feel like speak now tv vocals could be so incredible especially her deeper tone on songs like last kiss and haunted and innocent and never grow up omg it's going to sound like an older sister singing it to you

i too am most excited for speak now tv (duh!) but 1989 has always had my favourite deluxe tracks so the vault i have high expectations and i didn't think about how it could have songs like forever winter (thats my favourite vault track rn) and i really hope sweeter than fiction gets a chance to be on 1989 tv (and safe and sound and eyes open get to be on speak now tv!!)

i hope you had a good day! did you take part in valentunes? that was really fun for me and how is it already mid feb??? that means you also got through it and i'm really happy you sent that first message <3

[itsdelicate]

sorry this is late but hiiii!!

YES exactly omg like when i wanted to get into f+tm it took me forever to choose smth to listen to first so i just asked a friend what to listen to. yea ur absolutely right. she did she did and then acted like it isnt one of the most addictive songs on her discography??? when i first heard the bridge i thought she said he looks so pretty like a devil and that did me in but the actual lyric is everything too lmao YES hey taylor just make the longest album all a bunch of 10 mins song thanks babe lol

omg thatd be so fun!! they came to my country and we totally missed it and my mom was so sad ab it like she was all "why didnt you tell me they were coming" lmaodsjk and i wouldve loved to go as well. aww its ur "i thought they were boo-ing me" sorta moment (thats the first thing that came to me lmao). YES which is why im trying to get into other artists cause soon im going to have listened the hell out of all the discographies of my fav artists djskmdlm

HAHAH yea good thing taylor is a master of putting depressing lyrics together w dancey beats akmddsnm i love slow sad songs cause of my mom i think cause she played those slow whitney houston and celine dion songs on repeat when i was younger lol

yea dont fall for the peer pressure to watch them its a lot and not so amazing anyways lol. i mean yea but some of the plot is bit iffy for me like the cultural roots of the whole avatar people and that dash of white saviour stuff in the first movie so its like eh.

OHH okok glad u had fun!! well i went to my grandmas in the weekend and went out w my cousins yesterday which was loads of fun!! def wanna do that again soon. wbu? did anything kinda fun or even pretty lame or really just anything lol

omg im actually a bit in the middle for me! lol like i do like it but its not smth i listen to as much as most of her other songs. it is!! im def never doing a whole ranking lmaokdwk OOH yesyes i love lwymmd since the mv like i thought it was the most iconic thing ever when i watched it and i wasnt even a fan at the time. ooh def closure!! i could not listen to it at first then after a long while i went back to it and tried to listen to it like the first time and LOVED IT!!! now shes everything to me and i will defend her w my life <3

how's ur day been? any little things in it that made u happy?

xxx ur secret santa

ahhh my reply’s late too that’s alright!! i’ve been working on assignments, very upsetting that it’s back to reality now 🥲

oooh that’s a great way to get into music! honestly only one of my friend’s is a big music lover so i never get recs from anyone except her ahsjd omg same i thought that was the lyric as well! no literally like give me a 10 min version of the great war,,,,

oh nooo it would’ve been so fun!! are you a big concert person? shdkf it was Exactly like that i thought they were laughing cause i was bad at singing or something 💀 i always end up switching from whichever album i’ve been playing non-stop! i just saw & juliet the musical last week so for now it’s the soundtrack instead of midnights hehe

sad bops are so good 😌 oooh very fair! what was your very first album you got on your own?

noted 😭 oh oof tbh idk what the avatar movies are about at all except that they’re blue msjfkf

aw that’s lovely!! i saw the life of pi play and & juliet last week and then also went to the zoo which was for my assignment (i study animal welfare) but also a nice day out 🥰

i want to like it more it’s such a fun song but idk why i just shdjf lover is my lowest ranked album although some of its individual songs are my fav! it’ll take the whole of 2023 to do an entire ranking tbh 😭 i think taylor can make a whole album faster than i’d be able to rank all her songs lmao omg yess and the mv whew, ooh yeah!! a lot of people didn’t like the “clanging pots and pans” LOL but it’s great!!

my day’s been good! i tried out a new recipe today and it was really successful so i’m pleased 😌 wbu!!

[urwatchingdisneychannel]

day 5 6! sorry i missed yesterday, this has been a busy week, but i'm gonna try to keep up. i wasn't familiar with crazy kinda crush on you at all, but i love the jackson 5 vibes!! i was gonna ask you about the music videos you mentioned you wanted to make, but since spotify wrapped is out, i'll leave that for another day lol i'm assuming the jonas brothers are on your top 5, so what other ex-disney stars did you listen to this year? do you have a favorite song or a favorite album by them? - 🎄

It’s ok I’ve been mia lately because of work stuff so I get it. Isn’t it a fun song??

So Jonas Brothers we’re my top artist (unsurprisingly) and JATP, Monster High and 4*Town were in my top five too (all things that totally make sense and are at least things we’ve talked about in the group chat even if they’re not strictly Disney)

My most listened to song was Nobody Like You by 4*Town (I listened to it a lot but also I played it a lot while my students were working since they loved the soundtrack) the vitamin string quartet was also on my list because I play instrumental covers of pop songs for my class while we play.

Telephone and Want Me were both songs I discovered from Heartstopper, though I was familiar with watermarks before. I’m a little surprised other songs weren’t as high on my list, but specifically songs I got into more recently so I guess it makes sense.

Here’s my playlist for anyone who wants to listen

So I’m not totally into guessing who my secret Santa is (though I have discerned a few things about you), but if I promise not to go back and look through the chat, will you tell me some of your top songs?

[kkeomchiz]

WINTEEEER

☝🏻 me & you

beloved, bestie, my love how have you been?? 💖 have you been listening to any new music or watching any new shows?? 👀 also, are you dressing up for halloween? 🎃🦇 i'm giving you some candy regardless 🍫🍬🍭🍪

HI RIN 💖🫂

first of all, we're the cutest 🫶🏻

i've been trying to get out of a slump, to be honest djhdjd i'm getting my spanish passport done tomorrow so that's something i've been looking forward to for a while 🤸 and i've also been looking for a job but it's hard 😬

i've been watching the kdrama flower of evil!! it's really good, crime/detective drama and i'm on ep13 👁️👁️ i recommend it a lot. for music i've been listening to soundtracks? yesterday i listened to amélie's soundtrack while cleaning my room 🌻

i'm not dressing up since it's not really a holiday that we celebrate in my country! but i accept the candy and i'm sharing it with you 🍫🍰🍬💖

i hope you're having a nice day beloved 🫶🏻

[karatekid1]

hi guys it been a while. Well, everything right now feels like its going up and down all the time, like on monday, three days ago, my life felt so good, i was so happy, then everything went downhill again on tuesday. today is thursday and idek how im feeling, i dont got any apeitie, and my life just feel so depressing. i realized yesterday that heartstopper is like a core memory to me, like i havent watched it since season 2 came out bc people started calling it cringe and i actually started to think it were. i was just a kid back then it feels like, because every day i get older and i feel embarressed for my younger self, in like a few months i think that this me whos writing this is gonna be so cringe, why are we like that? or maybe thats just me. but what i mean is that yesterday i listened to some of the soundtrack songs, i just felt warm and happy inside, and it kept doing everytime i listeend to the songs, i stayed up til 3 am last night just rewatching the first season and it made me cry actually idk why but it just brings me so much comfort. anyway, uni going fine ig, some subjects are really terrible, but im surviving. me and benjamin (the nick to my charlie) are still together and idk tbh how hes feeling ab me atp, like im so fucking stupid and annoying i think hes getting tired of it. i feels like im slowly loosing my mind again bc of everything. i hate myself for the way i act towards people. most people i know would call me nice, they do, but then i literally argue with everyone over stupid shit just bc i am sensetive. and i dont know how to deal with myself, i just get so easily mad and jealous of everyone and its starting to spread out more over the people i love which is not meant to happen but i cant control it. how much i try to be nick, will continue to always be charlie. what was i made for? i dont even know myself anymore. people say they're proud of me but i will literally treat them like shit without even realizing it myself. all i really want is to be seen and heard, but i end up embarresing myself, overshare or just make people upset. im just a failure, im not supposed to be here, i dont fit in. i dont know whats right or wrong anymore i just want to live my life, but im literally just miserable. i try so hard everyday, to get people to like me, to make me like myself a little bit more and not hating myself, but when ive done something wrong i cant even realise my mistake until so long after ive done it, and i feel so stupid. i dont deserve to live the life that i do. i dont deserve any of this. i try to be like everyone else, i try to be interesting but if you try too hard no one is gonna like you. and if youre not interesting people wont wanna hang out with you bc youre boring. you should be funny but not mean, you should be perfect but not fake, you shoulld be thin but not starve, you should be smart not a tryhard, you should be yourself but not different, you should be happy but not annoying, you should be kind but not too kind because then people will use you for their own good. i hate humans, i hate what we've made this world into. sorry this became a whole vent post but im just so tired of living without having anything to live FOR.