#hate to be the one but they're giving all too well (10 minute version) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

weed-ols · 1 year ago

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Reviewing Every UKISS Release: By Unpopular Demand ~ BREAK TIME

Well, we're here, at the end of an era, the last album featuring Kibum, and the last album Xander did before rejoining 12 years later. I remember being absolutely obsessed with the choreo as a wee little tweenie, while also having the sense to be a little embarrassed by the lyrics.

BREAK TIME - 4th Mini Album | 2010.10.04

So this release absolutely changed my tweenage brain chemistry in a way I can't fully explain. Maybe it was the song, maybe the lyrics, maybe the MV, maybe the fantastic choice to just style them in suits, I don't know, but tweenie me was so down for this. Still fairly normal about them though.

And first, before anything else, can we all just appreciate how bad this cover is? Like it's so fake-looking that Xander looks like he's been photoshopped in, and they look like they're just standing with a green screen (which is probably it). NH is nothing if not consistent in being low budget.

Anyway, this little spiel pertains less to the actual album and their activities at the time, and more about the behind the scenes stuff. So for Hoon's birthday livestream, he had Xander as his special guest, and we learn some real foul stuff about NH. Hoon was brought in roughly around this release, give or take some, and Xander was put in charge of teaching him all the songs and dances. Now Hoon was under the impression he was just a new addition, but Xander already knew he was out. Again, I'll see you in hell, NH.

So some idle thoughts that have arisen from this - did the others also think Hoon was joining them as an addition? Is that why Kibum was moved to the rap line for this release? Were they under the same assumption with AJ, or did they not know about him joining them? I feel like some of this has been said before, so maybe one day I'll do a real deep dig to try to find something on this.

Intro (Before Yesterday) | YouTube Music 209k | Spotify 22k

This intro is so good they falsely promised us a full version

"More than present/Mordney present" iconic

Love the lowkey chill vibes and the always-wonderful Soohyun/Kevin duet

That last "meolli wasseo" Kevin does? Incredible

"Yeah girl" Eli makes me chortle all the time

I never listened to intros as a kid, but this one had me by the jugular

To go from this right into Shut Up!! is so good, what a change in tone

8.75/10 I still have the faintest hope that one day we'll get the full version

Shut Up!! (Audio) | YouTube Music 5.6M | Spotify 534k

"This is more than present/mordney present" I always laugh at this it's so good

You know it's gonna be a banger when you hear that

Having Dongho, the babiest of babies with babyfaces, do the oppa parts is so iconic

"Girl you're pissin me off" if I had a nickel for every time Eli says he's pissed off...

So yeah this song is basically 3 minutes of Soohyun and Kevin aggressively singing back and forth, with a quick break for Xander, Eli, and Kibum to butt in, Dongho being funny, and Kiseop's one line

For the longest time, I didn't even realize Kiseop had that line I genuinely thought it was Kevin because of the backtrack

I think even though when I think of this song, I think of Kevin, Soohyun carried this harder he's just more aggressive in singing

The lyrics are very funny when we look back now, and peak UKISS "baby I hate you you cheated on me >:("

I think this is the most woman-hating of their songs, except for DORADORA maybe, but that's less aggressive

The comments under this are super funny too, insisting it has to be Shut Up!! and not just Shut Up, and that the exclamation marks are very important because of how loud they are

I forgot to mention this last time, but Bingeul Bingeul and Shut Up!! are both on the shorter end of their title tracks, clocking in around 3:10-3:15, but they both feel very complete

8.5/10 I have such a soft spot for this song, okay? It helped revive their careers, is slightly embarrassing to listen to but also a very solid song on its own, I just really love it.

Shut Up!! (MV) | Official upload 3.9M

There's two versions of this that aren't really that different - the clean version and the full version

I think the clean version just has some of the shirtless shots removed? I don't remember

God I remember watching this every single day I could as a kid

"High definition" meaning 480p which to be fair, was high def for us back then

Kevin learning that this only goes up to 480p when they used a "super expensive camera" still cracks me up

Also not the girl in the MV being way more famous than all of them combined now lol

All of them except for Eli looked so awkward with her

THE SUBWAY SET that's actually just a set they made in their usual warehouse

I think it was in Standing Still where they pointed out where they filmed this

Those white suits are ~*~sophisticated~*~

Absolutely iconic part of the choreo

Was it in Midnight Idols when the one senior idol was like bro what the hell are you guys doing?

The blue suits are also ~*~sophisticated~*~

They were trendsetters for this

Kiseop's crop top is goated I can't even begin to describe its impact on me

Peak bad boy with a dash of indecency

The necklines, the gloves, the wrist accessories, the hats, the washed out lighting, the abandoned warehouse, the thickening and darkening of the dramatic guyliner *chef's kiss*

The way he just kinda hops out

I wheezed a little at this frame

These shots are absolutely hilarious

Look at the art project on Kevin I don't remember how much time he said they spent on it

It's so funny looking at him compared to Kiseop like you can tell which is fake

Interesting who was made to go topless and was kept clothed

Anyway put on some clothes, you'll catch cold from the wind

Also, nothing like hanging out in the locker room? steam room? whatever with the boys while lounging around and putting on smoulders

Peak "look natural look natural look natural"

I just thought this frame looked funny

Soohyun doing normal people things and just shouting "WAE JAKKU" in her face

That's actually a pretty nice shot of them

I'm reminded of the comments asking if they got into a fight with cats

It was an aesthetic of the times, that's for sure

Eli, once again with his funny hats

I completely forgot about the French tattoos

Luckily, I now know enough French to confidently say that says "lie/lying" okay we're just namecalling women now

'Like nothing happened" lol that's so dramatic

Like their last two MVs, not much story, just a bunch of dancing in abandoned warehouses and subways, chilling in the locker room with the boys half-naked, some shots of Eli on a motorcycle, and all of their solo shots with the girl

I guess Eli is technically the main protagonist of this, what this is, I'm not sure

7/10 I like their outfits when they're clothed, and I love the shot of them lounging on their logo. Wish it was more dramatic though, like come on you guys are supposed to be angry bad men put some (not-drawn on) muscle to it

Shut Up!! (Stages) | Highest viewed 542k (Fan upload)

Highest official upload is 241k MuCore

Or 1.9M if we count the TeenKiss stage (which I personally love because both Soohyun and Kevin are very hot there)

Also, remember how Eli broke his hand while practicing this dance and then showed up to the next music show with a cast/splint/I don't remember?

He really shouldn't have done that like bro let your hand heal????

Look at Dongho's shoulders lmao he was so short compared to them

Like it's bad enough he's the babiest babyface but he's also the shortest??? Makes the performance 100x funnier

So styling, not much to say. They're all in tailored black suits, simple patterned ties, and I think they all have natural/slightly lightened hair, and no crazy hairstyles

Eli, Xander, and Kiseop have theirs styled as combovers - Kiseop looks good, though I'd tone down the eyeliner, and I'd say it's not the best but also not the worst for Eli and Xander

The others just have very natural hairstyles (also this is not the last time Kevin has this cut)

Who gave Eli the double-breasted jacket? It looks so...tight on him. There's honestly a few parts in the dance where I wonder if it really was tight because he's not leaning back very much, but he does do other shoulder movements so I don't know

I don't have anything to say I just really love this choreo no matter what and I'm so mad they didn't do it in their 2016 concert version

Another favourite bit of choreo

Soohyun's so aggressive here I love it he's never not committed

The fact that this bit of the dance is just because of a pun lol

Also he really is just touching and caressing everyone in this dance like he immediately goes to touching Kibum's face after this

Love hearing the crisp clap from the mics that's always so satisfying

They really love doing this kind of choreo in their dances

Not Kiseop nearly slipping on this, but good on him for catching himself without much interruption

Soohyun in the centre, right where he belongs

Oh wait they don't have the handkerchiefs for this one?

I love the choreo for this, the use of height to make interesting images, the sharp to smooth arms, and the entire chorus dance

Timing that kind of delayed effect is honestly such a pain to practice but it looks so cool

Also love the heaviness used for the pizza tossing choreo

Dance-wise, they all did really good, they're all sharp, well-timed, and throwing their whole body into the small details

The footwork's not the most difficult, but I also don't expect these dances to be that difficult since they have to sing

Dongho, again, serving the most face because this concept feels like it was made for him

Singing sounded live for the most part, but a lot of it is kind of hard to hear because of the backtrack

8/10, Shut Up!! has such a precious place in my heart, and I love the full choreo

Ooh found the handkerchiefs!!

Also this is the one where Eli's wearing a brace on his hand

I like all the individual pieces of these outfits, but not all together

The blue is nice, and the material is shiny but not baggy-looking, and I like the maroon dress shirts, but I don't love them paired together. The sparkly grey ties are a super nice touch though

I like these maroon suits

Xander's hair is like a baby version of his MMHN hair lol

No handkerchiefs though

The monochrome suits are really nice, though I'm questioning Kiseop's and Xander's hair

No handkerchiefs here either huh I thought this had more handkerchiefs

Wait is this a pre-dab dab?

The way that this video started off as 144p even though it's set at 1080p

Handkerchiefs are back baby!!!

I really like these white suits they look really good

Light It Up | YouTube Music 644k | Spotify 85k

This is Soohyun's song, everyone else is just a feature

Like half the song is just him, Kevin, Dongho, and Xander make up the other half, plus a couple of lines from Kiseop and Eli

And I wouldn't have it any other way, he kills this song

Also don't think there's any Kibum lines in this

It's so good, like it's crazy this is just a B-side

Feel like a broken record, but I kind of wish there was less autotune used so we can experience Soohyun's voice in all its glory

How do we not have a live of this? That feels like a crime

I like the Kevin/Kiseop part leading into Soohyun and the first chorus

We're veering right back into "baby I love you please come back I miss you" territory

I'm also pretty sure half this song is just the chorus

8.75/10 love the chorus/Soohyun solo, and I like how the song builds and swells

Rock Ya' Body | YouTube Music 257k | Spotify 11k

Common Soohyun/Kevin duet with brief features from the others

I hear Kiseop for a couple of lines in the chorus, Eli is doing the "clap clap..." part, I'm fairly certain it's Xander doing the rap verse, and Dongho might have the last line of the chorus. I don't know about Kibum

He might have a line in the chorus? Maybe the "clap it up" part? I can't really tell who's doing that

Like I'm not gonna lie I'm really bad at picking out Kibum's voice, and it's super difficult with all this autotune

But yeah standard arrogant UKISS dance track, a precursor to TOP THAT, if you will

Kevin opening with "hey little mama" is so funny

Soohyun's little "I'm hot news baby" is also very funny

Another borderline UKISS Sex Song, but I'm not counting it because it's not explicit enough

Love the persistent clapping throughout the song it's super catchy

8.25/10 it's a fun and catchy dance track, and that's something these guys do very well

Avater | YouTube Music 67k | Spotify 12k

Okay I have no idea who's doing what in this song, but I think it's a rap line song?

The only thing I'm sure of is Soohyun comes in either actually singing or doing the backing for the "100% synchronized high and low" part

I don't think I hear Kevin or Kiseop anywhere

I hear Xander and Eli pretty consistently, even through the autotune, and I think I hear Dongho a couple of times

The chorus is hard to tell though, it could be a heavy autotuned Kibum or it could be Eli or Xander

Look, I dug through old videos of this to both get a decent translation, and to figure out who's doing what in this song

Another fun party song, and UKISS Sex Song #3

It's been almost 14 years and I still don't know what "checkin yo steez" means

Also uh I've chosen to interpret the lyrics as just risque, but like it could very easily be interpreted as wanting to make this girl a puppet? Isn't that kinda dark lol

Oh and the autotune is so heavy here, fitting and absolutely appropriate for this song, but super heavy

7.5/10 I think I'm biased because I've listened to this like 30 times trying to figure out who does what, so now I have a mild headache

Don't really have any fun facts other than crumbs of funny bits. Most of my knowledge is either concentrated from little bits of info I gained through osmosis about their very early career, or the wild shit they did in Japan.

So, at the end of 2010, Xander, Soohyun, and Eli did a spinoff of 'We Got Married' called 'We Are Dating', and all I remember from that show is Eli ripping his pants, thus becoming the first member to do so, and Soohyung magical suitcases of everything. It was an okay watch, but in hindsight, Eli being so awkward, whether it was scripted or not, makes sense because wasn't he already dating his ex-wife at the time? I get that the company probably didn't know since they were still under a dating ban, but wow that must've been weird. Like they could've picked Kibum, or Kiseop, or Kevin to do it, but no they chose him.

When they did Midnight Idols, the talent portion was so great - Eli cracking a bone while doing a kick; Xander doing a yoga pose only to immediately give up after 5 seconds; Dongho and Kevin being girl group dance enthusiasts and scaring each other via unintended eye contact; Soohyun serenading Kibum's brother's thigh; Kiseop climbing up the chalkboard, it was fun times all around.

Well that's that. It was really fun to go back this far and quite literally watch them go from weird cringy rookies to whatever the hell they are by Shut Up!!

UKISS Era - Woman-hating Bad Boys - Complete!

#ukiss #uwukiss #i just realized i've caught up to all my prewritten stuff now oops #it's so overwhelming to look at their next era of releases there's so much

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al1x00 · 4 months ago

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⚠️CHAP. 10 SPOILERS⚠️

THE WAY I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW THIS OMFG I'M NOT READY FOR OPIN TO END😭😭

EXCUSE ME "TW SUICIDAL THOUGHTS"?!?! WHO TF IS TRYING TO BLOW THEIR BRAINS OUT MY GOODNESS.

Love how I'm totally chill on the blood and gore part like yeah that's usual Katy™ stuff, you get used to it after reading TF🥰🥰

DAMNN HOBIE'S ON FIRE HE'S GOT NO MERCY ANYMORE. Also I love how you described the factory and the way Hick's office/balcony is placed very high up because he own the place and all that jazz because it just makes him the picture perfect image of the asshole he is LMAO

YAYY WE GOT KARL TOO THE WHOLE GANG IS HEREEE

WHOA WAIT A BAG OF TNT?? That's not gonna go well, is it..? Even if they do manage to bomb the factory, TNT is a very effective and quick explosive so if they aren't fast enough to get away someone might get hurt yknow

Hicks and his shit aim strike once again and fail😌 that man cannot land a single bullet on anyone, not even a couple of horses.

WTF HOW DID HE NOT DIE? ISTG IF HOBIE DOESN'T GET TO KILL HIM

Honestly if R was to look at Hobie and see him kill men so effortlessly while balancing only on one side of his horse they're gonna get married on the spot, like RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

Hobie lost his last whip and said "Fuck it, let's make an instrument of torture out of the new one" And I bet that shit hurt like hell.

"Everyone thinks he should be dead by now" ONE OF THE REALEST THINGS YOU WROTE YEAHH TERMINATE THAT ASSHOLE

YESS HE GOT THE DEATH HE DESERVED NO MERCY FOR HICKS

I always make sure there aren't any symbolism or anything in the paragraphs before I continue reading the chapters so I googled what do alligators symbolize and there many different versions of it. One said they symbolize inner strenght and power so I gues that could work with the power Hobie held in that moment right before he decided not to spare Hicks and let him suffer but it also says they symbolize finding solace in the present which I don't think Hicks got while he was getting eaten alive and ripped apart💀

WAIT IT'S BEEN A MONTH SINCE THE WHOLE THING HAPPENED? A WHOLE MONTH PASSED FROM THE DAY HICKS AND CROSS FOUND THEIR FARM?

OKAY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HAS HAPPENED. HICKS TRIED TO KILL R BY THROWING HER DOWN THE WELL? IT'S WORSE THAN ANYTHING THEY'VE DONE TO HER BEFORE WTF HE DESERVED THAT HORRIBLE DEATH.

"A graveyard full of Cross’ ancestors lies just a few ways away from the gazebo." He's gonna join them soon if he doesn't stop with that attitude🥰🥰

R thinking about Hobie everytime someone does something that he would do just hurts so much because R doesn't even know if he's alive or not at this point. She has no way of escaping or getting any source of information about him or Riri and the others and it's so fucking sad. It's hurting me so much I just need to see them happy and healthy once more😭😭

R IS BEING A GIRLBOSS I LOVE ITT

“Look at me just like how you look at him.” Okay just one more thing to add to the list of reasons of why I hate Cross so much🥰🥰 Out of all the things he's done and said this is probably one of the most disgusting EVER.

KATYY WDYM BOTH HIT THEIR TARGET?!?!?! IS R DEAD? NONONONO I CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER SAD ENDING AFTER TF THIS BETTER BE A FUCKING JOKE

DAMN R GOT SOME AIM THAT BULLET LEFT A BIG ASS HOLE THROUGHT HIS STOMACH

...Katy I swear to god if R dies I'm gonna sue you. DON'T GIVE HOBIE ANY MORE TRAUMA HE ALREADY HAS PLENTLY AND EVEN MORE TO SPARE.

“A life lived without you isn't a life well lived, remember?” Bye don't talk to me for five business days.

KATY YOU HAD ME FOR A SECOND I THOUGHT THEY BOTH DIED IN THE FIRE OH MY GOODNESS I WAS ABOUT TO THROW A FIT I WAS ALREADY SOBBING MY EYES OUT BUT THEN I WENT ON AND I WAS LIKE "WAIT A DAMN MINUTE-"

THEY GOTH DUCKIESS AND BUCKY AND CHERRY HAVE LITTLE KIDS NOW I'M SOBBING OMFG

AND COWS TOO

AND CLOVER HAS HER PUPPIES TOO OH MY GOD IT'S SO CUTEEE

God really must have favourites because how the fuck did R survive that bullet right under her ribcage? Like sure there was a possibility but holy shit R got lucky. NOT THAT I'M COMPLAINING OFC

HELLO?? BILLIE AND MONA CANON IN OPIN?? AAAA I'M LOSING MY SHIT I'M SO HAPPY THAT THEY'RE ALRIGHT AND CONTENT IN THEIR HOUSE AGAIN.

God this has been so bittersweet. Words cannot describe the utter whirlwind of emotions that I had throughtout this chapter and story overall. It has made me cry, laugh, cheer for the characters and have loads of sympathy for them, so much that sometimes I felt it to the very soul. I can safely say that this fic goes onto the podium with BDAS because the sheer amount of effort you put into this has not gone unnoticed, you've outdone yourself again like you always continue to do and I'm SO SO proud of you for writing something as beautiful as OPIN. I am not ready to say goodbye to our favourite outlaw and cowboy😭😭 (I will not say goodbye to him yet, he'll have me in a chokehold until the end of time)Honestly I could go on and yap about this for hours and hours (and I probably will because OPIN deserves it) but like- the intricacy of the storyline, the well done backstories and the way you gave each character a different moral and point of view is just 🤌* chefs kiss * YKWIM?? I will never, EVER, shut up about how R and Hobie were like complete strangers all over again when they found eachother after all those years, how they feared of the consequences of loving somebody, but in the end the only thing that mattered the most was to get back into eachother's arms and stay with the other until the end, no matter if the flames got to them or not; the fact that they were gonna die together in that fire and they were totally fine with that just because they had eachother will always cling with me. They way they both learned to love the other despite all their flaws and the how the horrible things that happened shaped them, but their love was stronger than anything else, stronger than a man and his whole bullet factory that went against two people who just truly loved eachother in the purest and most genuine way ever. They fought with claws and teeth, because they had both everything and nothing to lose, just to see the other one last time before everything caught up.

Alright I won't write more on this but I will return with another yapping session soon so expect a huge message in your inbox LMAO but thanks again for everything Katy!! LY LY LY❤️❤️❤️

Dead Man's Hand

Pairing: Cowboy! Hobie Brown x fem! Reader

Word count: 11.5k

Tags: Use of Y/N, sparsely, no specific physical description of the reader (except for clothing), Cowboy AU, wild west AU, CW food mention, CW vomit mention, CW blood and gore, CW guns, TW violence, TW abuse, TW suicidal thoughts, TW death.

A/N: if there are any warnings that I've missed please tell me so I could add it in.

This chapter tackles dark themes, read at your own discretion.

Our Place in the Middle of Nowhere Masterlist

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CHAPTER 10 >>>

The pungent, acrid and hot air of metal and gunpowder brings Hobie back in time as he slams open the steel doors to the factory with a harsh kick. Machinery whirs, and twists, sharp steel dancing to the beat of the flames as it turns molten iron into instruments of death.

Hobie roams his fury-filled eyes around the factory, green flames flicker in those eyes, finding grime coated faces of strangers staring back at him and his posse. One glances their dark eyes towards the upper level of the factory where a balcony is placed. Where Hicks would look down with contempt, and would scream at the overworked employees to hurry production. Hobie knows it all too well, the factory mirrors the one back home. In the middle of the balcony sits an office with frosted windows that bear Hicks’ name. But the man is nowhere to be found within the crowd.

“If you're not Hicks, get the fuck out.” He doesn't need to yell the command, for everyone turns to run outside towards the back exit where half of Miguel's gang lies in wait; and Hicks' lackeys lay dead on the soft muddy ground.

One running and hiding away amidst the crowd catches his eye with the same face as one of the men who buried him all those years ago. “‘cept you.” With one swift raise of his six shooter, smoke billowing out, a hole now sits on the man's torso where his heart should be. “Hicks, better get down ‘ere or my people will blow this place to the ground.” Hobie steps over the bloody body, crimson coating the sole of his boots. “Rainin’ bullets don't mix well with a room full of explosives.”

There's no movement nor a whisper in the entire factory save for the fading sounds of the machines slowly shutting off. He catches a glimpse of a shadow behind a closed frosty door in the upper level of the factory. It was quick and sudden, if not for Riri's gentle nudge towards the movement, he'd think he was seeing you again for a brief cruel moment.

“Ri, Karl, come with me.” Hobie emerges behind the blackened air from the large machines. Three sets of boots thumping silently as they bound upstairs.

He reaches the door, back on the solid wall and away from the glass. Riri stays on his right, shotgun cocked and ready while Karl checks his bag of TNT on Hobie's left. As he moves to open the door, a bullet pierces the glass, shattering it into sharp tiny pieces. A shard nicks Hobie's cheek, but he ignores the throbbing pain as blood trickles out.

“You're still alive, you little shit?!” Hicks yells, shooting blindly at the door.

The trio stays still and waits for the opening. A click echoes in the quiet, and clouds of gunpowder float through the air. Hobie and the others take their opportunity. Karl lights a stick of dynamite, chucking it inside the room and then ducking down to cover his ears. Hobie doesn't waste time, leaving the safety of the cover, he twists to face the door, shooting at the flying TNT— effectively blowing it near Hicks while Hobie holds onto his hat so that it doesn't get blown away.

The explosion causes Hobie to stagger backwards, if not for Riri pulling him back to the side, he would've fallen off the railings. Sulfur fills the air as they cough, puffs of grey smoke clouds the entire office space.

His ears ring, a sharp high pitched sound that he's awfully familiar with. He gives Riri a thankful nod, which she replies with a smug smile and a raise of her eyebrow. Hobie takes the lead, flicking his eyes towards Karl, who gives him a thumbs up, and with his hair all messed up from the explosion. Satisfied that his group is alright, he enters the fray. Smoke giving way to him and his raised gun. Shards of glass crunch at his feet, singed papers lay burned on the floorboards as embers flicker out in the air.

As the smoke clears out and the hot air of the south enters through the broken windows— Hobie finds no one inside the room.

“Fuck!” As he yells into the emptiness, a horse neighs outside, hooves running frantically away while bullets fly and ricochet. He immediately looks down, finding Hicks half burnt and riding away. “Like a fuckin’ roach.” Without thinking ahead, Hobie vaults from the window, softening his fall with a roll. Landing, knees aching but intact, he whistles for Bucky.

“Hobie, what the fuck?!” Riri and Karl simultaneously scream out, but Hobie's already running while Bucky follows right behind him.

Once Buckeye trots next to him, Hobie grabs hold of the saddle's horn to swiftly lift himself up on the saddle with a quick pull. No one's going to stop him, Miguel already considers Hicks dead just from the look of determination behind those green eyes.

Hobie leaves everyone in the dust. Bucky neighs wildly, huffing and puffing as he tries to catch up. “Hicks!” Said man turns on his saddle a few ways ahead, arm raising to aim and to shoot his gun. Bullets whizz past, hot air passing by as Hicks misses every single bullet.

Hicks’ scalding flesh makes him keel over in pain as his blood drenches his horse. “Shit!” He kicks roughly, his horse whines before speeding off.

Bucky gains speed, catching up to Hicks whilst he reloads. But of course, his hired guns finally catch wind. A handful of them appear from the side, trudging from the muddy swamp with alligators lurking underneath, and riding towards the bumpy road where the main chase is happening.

The rival posse hollars and hoots, sneering smiles and guns aimed at Hobie. Riri and the others are still catching up to him, so he's left alone to defend himself and Bucky. With fury fuelling him, he has everything to lose so he'll shoot through all of them like a hot knife through butter.

While the mercenaries leave the line of trees, Hobie enters the thicket, swerving to the side, using the large and sturdy trees for cover. The ground may be soft and muddy, but Hobie and his loyal horse have been in dozens of situations like this. The swamp might've slowed them down but it doesn't stop them as splintered wood flicks and flies while his enemies continue to shoot at his swift horse.

A bullet comes too close to his head, piercing a hole in the brim of his hat. He clicks his tongue, annoyed at the damage. Patting Bucky, he takes his foot off one of the stirrups to bring it to the safer side where no bullets could come at him. With two legs on one side, hand holding on to the saddle horn and reins, Hobie rides sideways, hiding his body while peeking over and shooting with calculated aim as Bucky runs back towards the path. One by one, the mercenaries fall off their horses with his bullets pierced through their bodies. The road is coated with their blood, leaving trails of rubies for his posse to follow.

Miguel trots closer, shooting at what remains of Hicks' men. The gang hoots at the sight, adrenaline rushing through their veins, and blood heating up from the violence.

While Riri and Karl have their eyes on Hobie, who now sits upright on Bucky, they kick on their horses and off they go, riding side by side with Him. Hicks panics from the sheer volume of horses running after him, with his last bullets, he aims at Bucky's leg.

Hobie beats him to the punch, quickly thrashing his whip made out of jagged metal wires, tearing the skin off of Hicks' arm apart when Hobie pulls hard at it. Hicks screams in sheer agony, tumbling and falling off his horse into the moist ground, soil entering his burns and mouth. When the dust settles, he looks up to only see the end of Hobie's gun.

It's silent in the marsh as the sun shines on his gun; frogs hum in the distance, gators trill when they smell meat while Hicks' labored breathing quickens. Hobie has his gun digging into Hicks’ skull, skin red and angry from his burns. Half of his face has melted into a mess of meat and bones, left eye barely opening from his melted eyelid. A pungent smell permeates from his oozing wounds, clothes torn and burned to ash, and ankle twisted at an angle. Hicks’ hands are buried halfway into the ground as he sinks down to the muddy plains.

Everyone thinks he should be dead by now, even Hicks himself, but death won't grant him the sweet release just yet— not until Hobie takes what he is owed.

“My, don't you look pretty, Hicks.” Hobie doesn't smile nor smirk at the sight of the man who buried him alive five years ago. A man who now kneels before him, disfigured beyond recognition, feeding the soil under him with his own suffering.

“F-fuck y-y-you.” Hicks' lips tremble from the unimaginable pain. “I w-will not b-beg.” He manages to curl half of his melted lips into one final sneer. “Not l-like how you did.”

“I don't want you to beg, Hicks.” Hobie digs the metal harshly, skin ripping and tearing like paper from under the gun. “I need to know where she is. You're dyin' anyway, your last words might as well be somethin' useful.”

Hobie's cold words makes the man scoff that quickly turns into a painful cough. “No. Didn't your old man tell you that revenge is a f-fool's game?”

“This isn't revenge, this is retribution.” Hobie tilts his head, looking behind Hicks where a pack of gators trill and show themselves under the green swamp. “If you tell me, I won't let the gators eat you alive.”

“Wha–?” Hicks' slowly turns his trembling head, skin painfully tugging with every movement. One of the gators snaps its maw, warning with its sharp teeth. The entire gang hears this grown man whimper from fear.

“They look mighty hungry, Hicks. Better hurry up.”

“You'd t-take me away from them?”

“No, I'd put you out of your misery before they get to you. Something you didn't give me back then.”

Hobie can practically see the rusty cogs in Hicks' head turning. “...alright, just don't let them eat m-me.” His burns flares up as he doubles in pain.

Hobie makes the man raise his head with the barrel pushing his chin up. “Sure.”

“She's at the big white house near Blackwater, just west of the r-road. You can't miss it.”

“You lyin’” Hobie doubts the information when he gave it to him too fast. Jaw tightening at the thought of you being so close yet so far from his reach.

“No, I'm not.” Hicks hears the unmistakable sound of the reptile crawling closer. “It's the truth.”

Riri flicks her eyes towards Hobie, leaning close, whispering lowly at his ear. “I know the place.” Hobie doesn't miss the hard look in her eyes. “He's not local, that place is well hidden, he wouldn't know that only the locals know about it.” She glares at the sniveling man, “It's ways away from the road he's talking about. Fucking far from it. Easily missed if you're not familiar with the place.”

Hicks figures out what she's whispering when Hobie's anger flares, hand tightening around his gun. “I'm telling the truth, Hobie. It's there and she's waiting for you! I promise! She's the one lying!” He points a crooked finger at Riri.

“Thought you wouldn't beg.” His fate is sealed with the gators. “Technically you did lie.” Hobie drops his arm, gun aimed away from Hicks. “Off you go with the gators, boss.”

“No, no, Hobie! Please, I'm sorry!” Hicks tries to grab at Hobie's leg, but Hobie kicks him down on the ground and on his back. He tilts his head back, meeting face to face with a ten foot alligator that seems to smile at him.

His screams echo around the marsh while Hobie and the others get on their horses. He watches the gator death roll the flailing Hicks on the muddied ground until the wailing stops completely.

Hobie leads the pack away while he leaves behind the sound of tearing skin and bones cracking under sharp teeth. And all he could think about is you, and how he could've had a good life with you.

—

Draped in chiffon and stab silk, iridescent blues and purples dance along the fabric as light hits it. Expensive fabric that hides all the aching blemishes on your flesh by the same men who claim that they are doing it for your sake, that it's the only way you would obey.

Your hands are tied behind your back with Cross' hand wrapped around your wrists in a sickening grip; preventing you from moving. You shine under the southern sun, all gold and frills but none of the happiness behind your sullen and dull eyes.

For a fleeting moment in those months you were with Hobie, you had peace. You'd stay there forever if you could, if only the world had granted it to you, instead of the pain that it brought down upon you.

You could've had a good life together.

It's been a whole month since the last time you saw Hobie alive. A whole month without hearing his voice, without his loving touch; and a whole month with the same family who has hurt you in every possible way they could. The image of Hobie buried under the rubble of your shared home spirals you over the edge once again. You've cried, wept and sobbed some more, but nothing has helped. You feel like you've died right next to him. You wish you had.

Meanwhile you have a wound that was never meant to be healed inside you. A wound that was momentarily healed, until you were brought back to the reality of your dreaded life.

You instinctively run your finger around the gold band around your finger, finding the unfamiliar diamond instead of the simple gold band that turns your face even more sour at the scalding heat that turns your heavy dress into an oven. You had the foresight to hide Hobie's ring the second you had a chance. It now lays underneath your floorboards waiting for you.

There's a heavy feeling in your chest, grief running along your heart, plunging your very being into darkness. It was like that day five years ago, you have no knowledge of him alive, no way of knowing if Hicks ended him. It's an awful case of déjà vu.

Both men stand beside you, as if they're meant to guard you. The estate stands behind you, its large shadow looming over you. All Its white marble and columns stand tall, doors that don't creak, windows pristine and gleaming— but you'd rather have the pile of ashes you once called home.

This place lacks a heartbeat.

You flick your tired eyes over to the well beside the estate, your body shivers from how cold it was inside, when you sank into it like stone the first time Hicks threw you inside. It's a miracle you didn't break your neck, in that moment, you wished it had.

A carriage arrives from a distance, horses galloping along the road towards the estate. Wispy cypress trees sit around the path, parting way for the dirt road leading to the house. Its soft leaves dance in the wind, leaves fluttering by as you watch the carriage get closer and closer.

“Remember to smile, we can't lose their money.” Hicks grabs the back of your dress, yanking your neck down for emphasis. “Don't be a bitch like last time or you'll get the well tonight. And I heard it'll be cold tonight.”

“I'll be in my best behavior, uncle.” Your glare towards the rich couple exiting the carriage says otherwise.

Hicks only gives you a stern look before letting you go. Cross loosens his grip for a moment and you immediately take your hands in front of you so he couldn't hold you again. You haven't spoken a word to the man you call husband since you arrived at the estate. Your defiance got your bedroom door locked from the outside for now but was taken apart for the first week of your stay. Showing you bare to the entire world, revealing to the world that you're his.

The woman clad in gold and gemstones huffs, flinging away a fly from her painted face. “God, I hate this humidity.”

“This better be good this time, Hicks.” Her husband takes his tophat off, wrinkling his nose at the scent of heat and damp marsh.

“You won't regret traveling for this, Mr. Burnell.” Hicks sucks up to the man. “My, don't you look lovely, Mrs. Burnell.”

She giggles, hiding the blush dusting her cheeks with a fan. “Oh don't be such a gentleman, Hicks.”

“Stop sucking up to my wife, Hicks.” Even though his smile tells you that it's a joke, his tone says that he's completely irked by your uncle. Perhaps this has happened before.

You roll your eyes subtly, Cross’ jaw tightens as he shakes hands with both guests. “It's a pleasure to have you both today.” He says flatly.

“An honour.” Your tone is tight, lips turned into a strained smile.

“I remember you,” the male Burnell smiles faintly at you. “And you too,” he points at Cross. “I was at your wedding, what a wonderful ceremony.” You clench your fists tightly around your lace gloves, almost tearing the fabric.

“Oh I also remember!” His wife claps, “your gown was lovely, and the deviled eggs were to die for!”

You laugh, a sound more akin to a scoff. “I should've had some back then.”

Mr. Burnell reaches for both of your hands, holding you gently as you make a face at him that doesn't quite reach the man's full understanding. “I'm sorry about your aunt, we sent flowers to the funeral. I hope it was to your liking.”

“I wouldn't know, I wasn't there.” You swallow thickly.

“Oh poor dear,” The woman touches your cheek, and you flinch away. She coos as if you're a child. “You couldn't even bear saying goodbye.”

“Sure,” you slide your hands away from the man's hold, and then you take her hand away from your skin. “That's why.”

Hicks inhales deeply, “why don't we go to the gazebo? Tea is being served there.” He takes their attention away from you.

“We came all this way and you don't even have lunch for us?” Mr. Burnell raises a thick brow, his wife agrees with a nod.

“We did.” Cross finally speaks through gritted teeth. “It got cold.” The couple flares their nostrils in annoyance.

“This place was hard to find.”

“You had us waiting for two hours. Hardly an excuse, Mr. Burnell.” Cross doesn't back down from the older man's stare.

“W-what my associate was trying to say was that— we didn't want to serve you all cold beef! No one likes cold beef, correct?” Hicks tries to save the day, but they don't respond. “There's deviled eggs in the gazebo.” That seemed to work as they followed Hicks towards the blue gazebo behind the house.

Cross yanks you back to his side before you could get far. Your chest tightens, threatening to stop your breathing as he whispers towards one of the estate workers to prepare a batch of deviled eggs immediately. The second they leave, you glare at Cross, refusing to touch him even though his fingers dig into your arm.

“Don’t run, Y/N.” He says for the umpteenth time. You would run, and you had a few times while you're with him. But you were only met with your cheeks burning into the shape of his palm, and his hired guns dragging you back inside the mansion with their lassos tied around your ankles.

“I can't even breathe in this dress, moreso run in it.” You try to take your arm back but he stops you with his nails dragging along your sleeves.

“Be good, be fucking obedient. Don't be impossible like you always were.” His green eyes remind you so much of Hobie that it taints his image in your mind. You refuse to let it fog his image.

“I am not a dog, Cross.” You fight back, why shouldn't you? You have nothing to lose now.

He comes close to your face, jade eyes reflecting the fear in your expression, breath wafting over your face. “Then don't act like one.” His eyes pass over your face, finding fear laced in between the creases of your expression. His tone softens, one that sends shivers down your spine. “Why don't you call me by my real name? Cross is our last name, Y/N. Can you call me—”

“No.” You yank yourself away even if it means that his fingers drag along your arm in a manner that makes your skin run cold.

The next thing you know you're sitting next to Mrs. Burnell, who swallows down deviled eggs like its water. The entire table is set all prettily, blue laces sitting under white porcelain, utensils draped in silver, and chairs soft whilst the gazebo with lilacs growing on the roof acts as your shade. A graveyard full of Cross’ ancestors lies just a few ways away from the gazebo. Withering gravestones left unattended, and overgrown grass drowning each of the carved names. It leaves a heavy presence in the back of your mind.

The fork in your hand shakes, silver shining in the sunlight bearing down behind you just as when a pair of red cardinals fly next to the gazebo. The murmurs of the marsh echoes around the estate, gators trilling a few ways away, birds chirping and cawing right next to croaking bullfrogs. You're surrounded by green with a dash of greed as Hicks continues to suck up to the rich prospective partners.

A hand cups your own, and for a flicker, you thought it was Hobie's calloused hand gently holding onto you until his nails jab into your palm. Cross gives you a hard look, gesturing for you to eat instead of staring blankly at the cakes in front of you. With a mocking smile, you take a glass of cold orange juice on your right, condensation drenching your ungloved hand. You don't break eye contact as you gulp down the entire glass, making the Burnells look at you with pinched brows. For the final touch, you exhale loudly as if you were thirsty beyond belief.

Hicks chuckles nervously, eyes darting from you to the rich couple. Cross is fuming silently, letting your hand go limp on the table. An employee comes to your side, refilling your glass as everyone at the table stays in awkward silence. You can't help but puff out your chest with pride. Hobie would've loved to see that. Their faces would be worth it for the wrath you're about to face.

Mr. Burnell clears his throat, “as I was saying, we can't give twenty thousand for only ten percent shares. It's daylight robbery, Hicks.”

“Oh come on, Quentin, you've known me for a long time!” Hicks plays the ‘old friend’ card, a trick you've seen one too many times. “You know I can be trusted, and that ten percent will go higher once we've had our foothold here in America.”

“I do know you, that's why you can't be trusted. Even her aunt knew better when she gave the company to her.” Burnell pauses, bespectacled eyes staring at you briefly. Your lips curl up into a smirk. You probably don't have to work too hard in sabotaging this one. “Besides, that was back when you were the leading manufacturer in the UK. There was a guarantee, now you're here in a country that is practically shitting bullets by the buckets.” He leans back in his seat, “face it, you old dog, there's no profit here for you.”

“He's right,” His wife enters the conversation, dabbing her mouth daintily with a handkerchief. “Why did you even move here in the first place? I heard the company was doing badly back home but not that bad, right?”

Hicks coughs, drinking from his glass, stalling from answering. Cross has had enough, he leans on the table, elbows right next to his untouched plate, white suit unblemished.

“Because I'm here.” He takes your hand, making a show of it for the Burnells. He's using the ‘I love my wife’ card. Surprisingly, it's only the second time he has used it on the rich and stupid. “And my wife deserves to be with her husband, yes?” The couple looks at each other, then returns their attention to you as you try incredibly hard not to vomit all over the table. “I've…ignored her for far too long while I'm always here tending to my own business.” He clasps the back of your hand with his free hand. “We were deeply saddened by her aunt's passing, but I saw a silver lining. Taking the tragedy and turning it into something better by bringing her and her family business here to my home so we could finally start having our own family here without the dark cloud looming over us.” He was right about one thing, your aunt was a dark cloud looming over everyone. Cross leaned close, pecking your hand chastely. “Right, love?”

You close your eyes to prevent yourself from heaving out what little you've eaten. “Right.” Tone small and disgusted, you have the sudden urge to stab his eyes out with a fork. For a second, your mind gives you that exact image. Seeing his blood spurt out from his sockets and spraying on the deviled eggs.

For some reason, even with the disgusted look on your face, the Burnells' hard exterior softens. The missus clutches the pearls on her chest as if she just heard the most romantic story, and the male Burnell nods along with a fond smile. “You two remind me of my first marriage.” His wife chuckles, you frown, eyebrows knitted together as Cross plays along to his concocted story.

They continue their negotiation with more enthusiasm. Hicks pats Cross gladly on the shoulder, already drafting up a contract on a piece of parchment. Thankfully, Cross has let you go. Free to wipe your hand on your dress. You replay the last minute in your mind, like you're stuck in the moment he touched you with his dry lips upon the same hand you used to cradle Hobie's face with.

The conversation fades into the background, a thought passes you by, one that you're too grief stricken to see until now. Why is Cross even helping Hicks? He has the money to fund whatever the factory needs, he doesn't even need to be in the conversation. He has nothing to gain from this. He already has you, so why does he seem so desperate to get this partnership?

Then it hits you, he's as bankrupt as Hicks. Hicks, who drove the company to the ground with his moronic decisions the second your great aunt was in the ground. And Cross, there was never a day in your short marriage with him that he wasn't out gambling his family fortune away, or going to exotic places you've only read in books. When he doesn't have his hands on you, he's at the nearest pub or the derby races, betting everything in his pockets. You always just thought he had that much money to lose. But you were wrong. And the only reason you're here is because of the money your parents have set aside for you, money that is tied up with the company or what is left of it— the company that you own and have the last say in. Until your name isn't written in that contract that Hicks shoves in your face every morning, they have nothing.

“You have nothing.” You blurt out, you don't regret it immediately.

“Excuse me?” Mr. Burnell says, offended.

“Not you, I know you have money.” You place your elbows on the table, chin propped up on your scarred palm. “I was talking about my dear uncle and beloved husband.” Your words drip with venom and sarcasm.

“What are you saying?” Mrs. Burnell asks, concerned, either for your well being with the two men or for the money she almost lost.

“Shut it, Y/N.” Hicks says through gritted teeth, eyes warning you.

“Don't tell a woman to shut up, Hicks.” Surprisingly, Mr. Burnell defends you. “Speak, girl.” And there goes your respect.

“They don't have anything.” Cross tries to yank your hand back but you quickly tug yourself away. “Hicks is lying, the company is losing money, not gaining it. Production has been down since they moved here, probably because Hicks doesn't know how to run a company.”

You continue your tirade without missing a beat. “He was a manager before marrying my aunt, but he was a shit manager. If not for Peter—” you inhale and clear your mind. “All I'm saying is, he's asking for a scapegoat for the debt collectors, not a business partner.” You flick your eyes mockingly towards the seething Hicks. Meanwhile, Cross sits quietly, you're afraid but you have to continue. “I retract my previous words.” Hicks inhales with relief. “It's not probably, it's definitely.” He stutters, trying to save face but you continue. “He's overworking the workers and because of that there's more mistakes. More mistakes means more bullets that come out a little crooked. That's good, if your targets swerve to the left.”

“She's lying!” Hicks laughs shakily, fists slamming down on the table. “You know how women are? She's hysterical because of her aunt's passing.”

You scoff. “You said it yourself, Mr. Burnell, you don't trust Hicks.” All eyes are on you. Your words fill you with pride, Hobie would be proud. “As for Cross, I wouldn't even trust him with my coin pouch.”

The Burnells seemingly believe you, heads turned slowly towards Cross and Hicks, eyes boring holes in their foreheads. “Looks like we wasted our time. You're right, honey, we should've gone for the Winchester instead of this clown show.”

“You believe me?” You ask, bewildered. “That quick?”

“We passed by the factory on our way here, that's why we were late.” Burnell answers back. Already taking his belongings to leave. “We saw the horrid conditions. We were naive to believe that it was like that because you're still getting used to the transition.” He helps his wife up as Hicks follows behind the couple. Cross stays behind silently while you stay with the Burnells in hopes that they'd take you with them. “Thank you, girl.”

“You're welcome, c-can I—” The couple gets in their carriage, eyes blinking at you. “Can I come with you?” You sound like a child, voice trembling in hope that they'll say yes. “Please.”

Hicks chuckles incredulously right next to them, but his eyes grow dark at your request, a warning. Cross appears behind you, green eyes hidden by the shadow of his hat, lips clamped into a fine line.

“What for, girl?” Mr. Burnell asks, “We don't need any more bootlicking. We're not giving you the money for the factory.”

You flex your fists on your sides, eyes darting in between Hicks and Cross. Heart thumping, you have to try. “I don't— it's not that. I don't need the money. I—”

“So you do have the money for the company then? Why bother asking us?” The older man cuts you off, scoffing while his wife rolls her eyes. “Kids these days, so greedy.” He gets in the carriage, following his wife.

“Wait! Please!” It's too late as they run off in the distance. In your desperation, you start to run after them. But before you could go far, Cross stops you with his arms embracing you from behind. “No! Please come back! They're hurting me here—!” Your flailing stops when Hicks steps in front of you with his gun raised.

“Do you have any idea what you've done?” He clicks the hammer down, finger right on the trigger. “You've doomed us.”

With tears in your eyes, Cross holds you against him tighter. Chest aching, breath stolen from you. “No, just you!” Yet, you continue to fight. You might've lost hope a long time ago if not for Hobie. Hope that you'll get out like last time, hope that Hobie will be there waiting for you. But there's a part of you that just wants to let go. Looking over your shoulder, you're met with familiar green eyes that used to fill you with calm. “And you.”

“I should shoot you right here.”

“Do it then. But you can't because without my signature you're fucking broke!” With a cackle, Hicks yanks the back of your head, taking you from Cross' arms, dragging you towards the well. Body scraping against soil, you try to scratch at his hands but it doesn't deter him as his anger fuels him.

“Fucking bitch, you keep ruining shit!” He yanks you to your feet, and then pressing your front to the mouth of the well while pushing you down harshly, making you look down at the depths.

You yelp, sharp rocks digging into your stomach, eyes forced to look down at the deep dark well. It's cold down there, you wonder if this is what it felt like for Hobie back at the farm. Staying quiet, your hands grip the sides to keep your balance, a bead of sweat falling down and leaving ripples as it hits the stagnant water.

“What, no begging or screaming and crying this time?” Hicks latches on your hair tightly, scalp burning from his hold.

“I've gotten used to the dark. You won't hear me begging ever again.” Your voice echoes down to the bottom. “You can't hurt me anymore, not in the way that matters.” Releasing your hold on the sides, you lean closer to the edge. Expecting the cold embrace and the familiar weightlessness, it doesn't come.

There's a scoff above before you're let go. “I have to correct your fuck up.” He seethes, giving your leg a swift kick as you lay your head on the stone. “Deal with her.”

“I'm not one of your employees, Hicks.” Cross challenges him.

“She's your fucking wife. You discipline her while I go to the factory. As for you,” he flicks the shell of your ear. “Your name better be on that contract when I get back.” You hear their continued bickering whilst you even out your breathing. Just like what Hobie would tell you.

After a rustle of clothing and dress shoes thumping on the ground, you fall on your knees, still clutching the well. Face hidden from Cross, he sighs, hand reaching towards you. Feeling the sickening familiarity of his hand wrapped around your arm, you instinctively flinch away.

“Why couldn't you just obey, just this once?”

You heave, furrows knitted in anger. Looking over your arm, your glare sends goosebumps up his arms. “I'm not one of your hounds.”

“Then why do you kneel like one?” The sun behind him engulfs his entire form, turning him into a breathing shadow.

“Go fuck yourself, Cross.” You shakily stand up while avoiding his gaze. Walking towards the house, you clench your fists until you feel your blunt nails leave pin pricks of crimson

“I'm trying here, Y/N. You're making it impossible.” He yanks you back, neck craned to the side to look at you. “I'm holding back but you're not making this easy.”

“You sound like this is all my fault.” You still avoid his eyes, forgoing to look at the tree behind him. “I'm not the one who gambled all your money away. And I didn't force you to marry me.” His fingers pull you closer.

“Look at me.”

“Fuck you—” you try to escape but he's stronger.

“Look at me just like how you look at him.” He forcefully turns your head with his hand burrowing into your chin.

With apprehension, you chuckle, a cracked dry laughter. Your eyes slowly move to the green eyes in front of you. “I'll never look at you like that. Nothing you do will make me look at you with the same love I give to him.”

Cross swallows thickly, jaw tightening. “Why him?”

“It felt right. We share the same heart.” It's the first truth you've said in a month, and for once you smile genuinely. “I'll always love him, remember that.”

He inhales, and you wait for the impact.

“Sir?” The housekeeper asks from the side, hands wringing in front of her. “Is everything alright?” Her brown hair shimmers in the sun like copper, lips turned into a fine line.

She reminds you of the former housekeeper that tried to help you by taking your letter addressed to Hobie. Cross found out about it, you haven't seen her since then.

“We're alright, Belinda.” Cross lets you go, leaving a mark on your arm. “Fetch me my hunting rifle.”

You leave with haste, hands shaking as you hitch your skirt up. You can feel his sickly green eyes on you, like a shadow that envelops you whole.

You've crossed the line, and you fear that this is the end for you.

—

Pacing around your room, you walk around and hold your breath. It's like waiting for the gallows, waiting for the bullet to hit you. Hobie's ring is back on your finger instead of what Cross gave you on your wedding day, which is the exact same one you left on the bedside table when you escaped. You twist it around your finger as the room shifts and twirls in your vision.

The room is finely decorated with daffodils painted on the walls, gold fixtures on the ceiling with painted deers trotting overhead on fields of green on the ceiling. The room looks like it used to be a child's room. A pale blue bed sits in the middle of the room, draped in a satin canopy. It's a stark contrast to the room back at the farm, all wood and none of the gilded walls. But you'd choose that a hundred times over if given the chance. Especially if Hobie's there waiting for you.

You feel like you're slowly disappearing into the walls.

Your eyes have been glued to the door as you chew your nails. You'd lock the doors from the inside if the locks weren't instead bolted from the outside. Tears brim at your eyes, but you refuse to let it go as you sniff. You miss your home, you miss the smell of dew in the morning. You miss Clover and how she cuddles on your side. You miss Cherry and Bucky and your afternoon rides with them. You miss him, you miss Hobie and how he holds you gently, how he talks to you about things. It's him talking so you'd listen and speak with him until the sun decides to sleep. You miss his voice telling you that everything will be alright.

You wonder if everything will still be alright when you hear heavy footsteps outside your door.

Cross doesn't knock, and you wait at the foot of your bed, standing straight, eyes forward and daunting despite your fear. If he shoots you through the door now, would Hobie be there to greet you on the other side as darkness engulfs you one last time?

This house will be a tomb. Your tomb.

The door doesn't creek as Cross opens it. “Hunt with me, just like old times.” He has a rifle strapped to his back, suit traded in for his haunting gear, still clad in white leather. Your eyes flick over to the two guns on his belt. If only you could take it from him. Or at least one.

“Giving me a gun? Do you think that's wise?” You cross your arms over your chest, clearing your throat so he doesn't notice the shaking of your voice.

“Why? You'd shoot me in the back?” He asks chidingly.

“In a heartbeat.” You say without even a hint of a joke. “What's even out there, Cross? What are we hunting down?”

“A deer.”

“I don't think there are any deer out here.” A dangerous silence hangs in the air, choking you as he stares deeply at you. You inhale, swallowing down your fear as best as you can. “If you give me a knife instead, I will stab your eye out. Killing other things won't keep us from killing each other.”

He clicks his tongue, hand on the gun like he's mocking you. “Take the dog instead.” Taking the leash off his belt he holds it out for you. “A dog for a hound. At least this one is loyal.”

“Which end of the leash is the hound?”

“What do you want, Y/N, hm?” Tossing the leash harshly, he stalks closer, and you flinch back. A doe caught in the coyote's eye. “I broke your heart, I get it. Do you want me to apologize to you?”

“My heart? That's the only thing you haven't broken yet.” He stops a few feet away from you, yet still too close to you. “You broke my body until I could barely recognize myself anymore. My arms bear the shape of your nails, my scalp remembers the sharp tugs of your hands.” You exhale as a tear falls down your cheek. “Hobie broke my heart, but he pieced it together, piece by tiny piece.” You point at him repeatedly. “You, you broke everything else.”

“If this is about your aunt—”

“Fuck you! This isn't about her.” If this is really your end, you don't want to leave without saying the words you've been meaning to say out loud. You tremble for a second before grinning with tears in your eyes. "I'm glad she's gone. Her hold on me is gone.” You chuckle breathlessly, sighing loudly. “There I said it. It's like a boulder has been lifted off my shoulders.”

“Y/N,” there it is, the patronizing tone he uses on you. He's about to guilt you into something you haven't had a hand in, or chastise you like a child.

“Stop being so fucking delusional, take the blinders off for one fucking minute.” The fire in you latches on you. “This is about you and how you hurt me the second you brought me home after the wedding. You knew that I never wanted to marry anyone else, and that my aunt and Hicks hurt me back home. And instead of helping me, taking me away from them, you joined them.”

“I got you out of there. I married you.”

You laugh without an ounce of humour, clapping wildly. “Well thank you very much, Cross!”

“I tried for a little while, Y/N. But I'm your husband, and you continued to disobey so I had to go to them, ask them for advice.” He walks closer, you stop him with a hand in front of you, as if it will shield you from him. You've tried that once, it didn't work.

“Nothing you do will make me forgive you. I hope you drown in your guilt if you even have an ounce of it. I hope you lay awake at night thinking of how much you hurt me. I'd rather die than forgive you.” Cross steps forward with an unreadable expression, and the back of your knees hits the bed as you try to get away. You eye the gun, you fear that you won't keep your promise to Hobie.

The world already ended for you when Hicks killed him.

Cross tries again. You think it'll be the last time he will the second he walks closer to you, so close that you can see yourself in his eyes. “Sign the papers, Y/N, and everything will be over.”

“You know the second I sign it, Hicks will kill me.” Your eyes wander towards his unlatched gun.

“I won't let that happen.”

You laugh in his face, “Sure, but you'll let him hurt me. Might as well sign my death warrant instead.” Standing back up, you inch towards him bravely despite your instincts telling you to shield yourself. You have to get that gun. “I–I tried to love you at first, and remained optimistic in this marriage.” His eyes are on your face, irises darting over your lips while you sneak your hand towards his gun belt slowly. “Even indulging my idiotic childish whims of what a marriage could be like. But I couldn't, not when you hurt me just like they did. Only because I didn't love you like how you thought I would.” Your hand finds the cold metal, fingers wrapping around the handle. “For a second there I thought you'd be my saviour, when in fact it was the opposite. You joined them instead. You were just as bad as them.”

You stand toe to toe with him. You hear a glass breaking downstairs, and then the smell of something familiar. Snatching the gun quickly, you aim it at his stomach, steel meeting flesh. You feel the same sensation against your chest.

“I love you.” Cross utters, finger right on the trigger.

“I've seen love, this isn't it.” With your cold words, you shoot.

Both guns go off.

Both hitting their targets.

—

The sun is just beginning to set, orange peeking from the horizon, hues of pink and orange blanketing the three men. Each inhale from the cigarette perched in each of their lips has grey smoke filtering through their lungs. They should be guarding the front door like they were hired to do, instead they chainsmoke their way out into an early grave while hiding behind the estate, facing the vast green marsh that hides their debauchery from the rest of the world.

“You hear any cryin’ last night?” The one with an auburn beard asks, his rifle leaning against the wall right next to him instead of in his hand like it was supposed to be in.

A dark haired man answers, belching out smoke while crouched on the ground, eyes narrowed at the whispering willows. “Yeah, i think the stable boy wasn't lying, there's a fuckin' ghost here.”

“You two think it's a fucking ghoul or some shit?” The third one replies with a scoff, blonde hair peeking out from his hat as he takes a swig of moonshine.

“Yeah,” The first two responds, spine tingling when a cold breeze passes through them.

“It's the boss’ wife, not a ghost, you morons.” As the yellowed haired man responds, a bright flicker of light appears in between the willow trees. “What the fuck?” The two men next to him follows his terrified gaze, cigarettes falling off their lips.

The light moves, as if it dances in the wind. It flickers, brightening up into an orange glow before turning yellow once again. The three outlaws move from the wall, eyes glued on the mesmerizing ball of light.

“Fuck, it's a swamp ghost—” the one with the red beard gasps, choking on his own blood, frantically trying to stop his neck from gushing out ichor with a knife stuck to his throat.

The other two only had a split second to react before a sharp knife slashes at their exposed necks. They mirror each other, shirts stained with red, palms coated in warmth and crimson while they frantically try to stop the bleeding. They croak and creak out, eyes managing to fall upon hazel eyes, and one with his face covered in soot. They both hold a glinting knife, blood still trickling down from the steel.

Miguel leaves from his hiding place in the thicket, eyes flicking briefly towards their twitching forms before returning his gaze at the ball of light. He nods to Riri and Karl, who stand above the corpses. And then he gestures with his gloved hand, giving the warm light a small nod.

The light comes closer, footsteps echoing as boots sink in moist soil— appearing behind the darkness of the trees and into the fading light of the sun. Hobie's face is revealed behind the light with a lit cigarette in between his lips, shadows dancing around the fury behind his green eyes hidden by the brim of his hat. He inhales before flicking the cigarette away, falling into a puddle. More appear behind him, trees and bushes parting before the dozen men and women following in his steps.

“Karl, light the oleander for me will you?” Hobie tosses the bag of pink flowers in Karl's waiting hands. And then he takes his knife back from the auburn haired corpse, wiping it on the grass before sheathing it back on his belt.

“D’you think that'll work? What if she gets caught in it?” Riri whispers, gesturing for the gang to crouch down and hide beside the wall where the trio were last seen smoking.

Hobie drags one of the bodies, hiding it behind the bushes while the rest of the gang help with the other two. He follows Riri, blood rushing in his ears, adrenaline pumping through his veins at how close you are from him. It's only a matter of time before you're back safe and sound.

“She knows the smell, she'll cover her nose.” His voice doesn't waver, but his insides are turning and twisting inside him. He can't fail. “As for everyone, cover your damn noses, and protect your eyes as much as you can.”

“This won't kill us right?” Karl weighs the bag in his hands.

Miguel checks his bullets beside him, giving Hobie and Riri a once over if their weapons are lacking. “At most it'll make us sick and itch. Right, Hobie?”

“Just don't inhale it directly.” Hobie yanks his bandana up to his nose, fitting it snugly. He notices his hands shaking, closing his fists tightly, he cannot fail. A month of tracking you down can't end with him failing to save you, he can't lose you. “You know what to do, Karl. Ri go with him.”

“Hobie,” she clasps the back of his fist. “Be careful, alright? If you get hurt, call Roberto, he'll treat you.” Inhaling sharply, she pats his cheek. “Get her back but don't die on us, alright?”

Hobie couldn't look directly at Riri, “She goes first, Ri.”

“I know, that's why we brought Roberto with us, remember? He's the doctor, he knows what to do and…what to expect, if need be.”

Hobie nods, staring at his family. “Thank you for backing me up, I owe you. All of you.”

“Don't die and we're even, Hobie.” Miguel pats Hobie's bicep before heading to his designated position.

“What he said,” Karl smiles brightly, fist connecting to Hobie's clenched one gently. “Also if I don't return from this, Robbie's gonna fucking kill you, man.”

Hobie cracks a smile. “Yeah, I know. Try to stay alive for the both of us then.” Karl makes his way towards the front while Riri staggers behind, still holding onto Hobie's hand. “Just like Valentine, right?” Riri smiles, hiding her trepidation behind her bandana. He fixes the cloth over her face carefully, tugging it over her nose and ears. “Keep that snug.” She could only nod, eyes brimming with tears. “Don't die on us too, Ri.” With a quick embrace, she leaves, following behind Karl who was waiting for her.

Hobie takes a second to breathe. He has done things like this a hundred times before, but never with you on the line. He can't leave without you like last time. He won't cower behind wooden walls like last time, he's not gonna stand here and tremble and rot and bleed. He's going to get you back. He knows he will.

There's a gunshot echoing inside the estate just as when a glass window breaks, signaling the beginning of the end.

—

The house falls and chaos reigns. They tried to stick to their plan of using stealth, but of course someone saw them and alerted everyone in their presence. Karl got the oleander thrown inside the halls, puffs of pinkish fumes swell out from the bag. Hobie sees the result of it as black smoke turns the estate into the pits of hell. Hobie's eyes waters but he continues to strike anyone who wasn't on his side. He throws his spiked whip towards someone who tried to shoot at Karl, the barbed whip rakes and breaks skin as he tugs and pulls until the man falls down next to his shredded flesh.

Screams echo around the estate, his posse lets go of the innocent unarmed employees while the others aren't so lucky the second they aim back.

They try to fight their way inside, finally thinning the outlaws outside as flames trickle from the burning bag towards the velvet curtains. Embers climb up until they hit the ceiling, fire licking at the once white walls, leaving burn marks in its wake.

A few of the hired guns surrender after recognising Miguel's gang, some were fools who tried to shoot them down but his allies were in greater numbers. More experienced, more bloodthirsty than the hired guns.

All the winning cards are in his hand, all he needs to do is play them right.

“Miguel!” Hobie yells while he and three others try to push through the main doors that refuse to budge open.

Miguel, who was currently brawling with a man taller than him, grunts when a fists harshly connects at his jaw. Hobie curses under his breath, without wasting a second, he aims and shoots. Gunpowder fills his lungs once more as the burly man falls on top of Miguel in a thud.

Hobie stalks towards Miguel, he shoots someone who was aiming at him on his left, his bullet doesn't miss even without him looking at the target. He grabs the body by its vest, yanking it off Miguel.

“Get up,” he reaches for the breathless gang leader, hazel eyes smiling at his old friend.

“I had that, Hobie!” Despite his broken nose, Miguel is back on his feet the moment he takes Hobie's helping hand. “Retirement, huh?”

Hobie shakes his head with a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Fuckin' retirement.” Reloading his gun, he goes back to the locked doors with Miguel now in tow. “On three!” His shoulders meet with the oak, “one!” Miguel nods next to him, bracing himself on the door. “Two!” A few more join in, ready to push the moment he says, “three!”

The doors burst open, splintering wood scattering, smoke coming out into the fray. Hobie meets with Sheriff Lee's eyes before a bullet hits him directly on his shoulder.

“Fuck!” He falls on his knees, clutching his wound as blood seeps through his fingers.

“Should've left when you had the chance, Mr. Brown!” Lee taunts, reloading his hunting rifle, giving Miguel enough time to drag Hobie back outside and placed behind the wall. “Come back here, murderer!”

A few shots ring out, both parties exchanging bullets. Your face appears in front of him before it’s replaced by the doctor's face. He needs to get you out quickly before the oleander takes hold. Hands tie a bandana around his wound, Hobie stands up the second that the cloth is tightened.

“Keep that on!” Roberto yells above the booming gunfire. “I’ll fix you properly right after this!”

Hobie nods, blinking the haze away. Miguel shakes him awake while avoiding his injury. “Lee's down! We'll handle the rest down here, we heard that she's upstairs.”

“Okay,” Hobie inhales and exhales, I'm almost there, love.

When the bullets stop flying inside the now bullet ridden manor, he steps foot inside. Glass crunches at his feet, eyes darting and alert from any surprises. He sees bodies littered on the marble floors, both from his side and Lee's. The sheriff lays under a pile of broken vase, eyes wide open, fingers still enclosed around his gun. The smoke thickens, and he hears blasts reverberating around the house.

Miguel's posse storms the place, pocketing whatever shines inside the house. A few more bullets are shot from deep inside the walls, but it's clear who's the winner. Hobie just wants you back.

Just as when he's about to climb the winding stairs with his throbbing shoulder, he sees a man stagger out from a room. “Is that—?” The bloodied man in the hunting gear trips and falls off the railing, plunging down right next to where Hobie's standing.

Cross lays on his own puddle of rubies, a gaping hole in his stomach instead of his insides. “H-help me,” Begging, he looks at Hobie with his bloodshot eyes, reaching towards Hobie's leg with his broken hand. “She's upstairs. Y-you can have her.”

“Is that him?” Miguel asks, and Riri appears from the side. Eyes watching the wounded man. Hobie nods, eyes never leaving Cross.

Hobie aims at Cross' head, seething. “She is not a thing to be had.” His aim stays true, but he shakes his head, lowering his gun down. “Nah, I'll let her bullet kill you.”

Miguel smirks, while Riri and him have a silent communication. “Don't worry, Hobie, we got rich boy.” He takes out his lasso from his waist, crossing the distance towards the dying Cross.

Riri gestures for Hobie to continue up the stairs. “Go! We'll be waiting.”

With a grateful nod, Hobie runs up the stairs towards his fire and his light. His heavy footsteps echo, breathing staggered as he thinks of you. What if he finds you in the same condition as Cross? What would he do if he sees you bleeding out? So he runs despite his own injuries, to see you again, to hold you again.

He follows the blood trail once he gets close enough, instead of your smiling face greeting him back, he stares at your body covered in crimson. Soft blue bed sheets stained with dark rubies. Arms spread on the bed as you lay on the soft mattress with your eyes unblinking towards the ceiling.

Hobie calls for you, air sucked from his lungs with every step he takes. He reaches for you, tears turning you into a watercolor painting in his vision. Red and blues blending into a watery picture.

You feel like you're in the bottom of a well, staring up at your aunt's sneering face. Your breathing is labored while the bullet is stuck in your chest, right below your ribcage. There's no pain, no feeling in your fingers as you see Hobie's face appear from above. Head perfectly lined up with the deer antlers painted on the ceiling.

“Found the deer, Cross.” You murmur, eyes hazy, lips barely opening.

“Stay awake, love.” Hobie's hand trembles as he rips his bandana off to stave off the bleeding by plugging the wound. You cry from the sudden pain, hands flying towards his wrists. “‘m sorry, ‘m sorry.” His tears flow down your cheek. “This'll be over, I need to carry you.”

“Hobie?” Your eyes focus on his face, meeting with his viridescent eyes. “Are you real?” Nails dig into his flesh, you sob, fingers shaking whilst you reach for his face. The pads of your fingers brush along his jaw, stubble returning you back to reality. “I'm so s-sorry, I should've told you.”

“None of that.” He holds onto the back of your hand, letting your palm rest on his cheek, lips brushing along your wrist. The matching rings reflect the growing fire ebbing towards the room.

“It h-hurts, Hobie.”

Sniffing, burning wood enters his lungs, sobs threatening to pull him down to you. “I know, I know.” He wipes the tears and the sweat off your forehead. “But we need to move, love, there's a fire and I need to carry you down.”

You gaze at his green eyes, sorrow and grief twisting and turning behind them. They remind you of home, of Clover, of Cherry and Bucky. And you remember your promise to him, an impossible promise that you will try to keep. But if it means that it's his end too, you have to break it. For his sake.

You grip his shoulders, Hobie notices how weak your hold on him is. “Okay, okay, carry m-me down.” There's a taste of copper in your mouth, lips coated in the bitter taste.

He nods, wiping his tears with his sleeves before sliding his hand behind your back, finding your warm blood sticking to the bedsheets. “I got you.” Whispering against your crown, he lifts you up mere inches away from the bed before you scream in agony. “‘m sorry!” He cries into your hair, your grip weakening even more.

“W-we can try again.” You slide your palm to his nape, “try again, Hobie.”

Hobie flicks his eyes towards you, the light behind your eyes is starting to dim. “Help!” He yells in desperation at the door, in hopes that someone comes bounding up the stairs. “Riri! Miguel! Anyone!”

Your heart breaks, “Hobie, Hobs.” Patting his chest, it's getting harder to breathe. “L-leave. Leave me here.” Hobie's already shaking his head. You smile softly at him, the best you could do despite your body dying. “You have to, you can't die here.”

“And you do?” He cups your face, “we still have forever to go, remember?”

He doesn't want you to come back as a dream anymore, or a shadow embracing him from behind; or a pain in his chest when he hears your name in his mind. He doesn't want your ghostly kiss to taste like ashes on his lips.

He doesn't want you to go.

“I'm sorry, I can't keep my promise. B-but you still can.” You weakly push down at his nape to feel his forehead against yours one last time. Your eyes are starting to close. “Live for me, would you?”

“No, please.” His palm slides right above your heart, feeling your heartbeat slow down. One last time, he yells for help. His throat burns as the ceiling above is engulfed in flames. No one comes to help. “I have to break my promise too, love.”

“Don't, please.”

“A life lived without you isn't a life well lived, remember?”

You accept death in his warm embrace. “I'll see you in a bit then.”

Flames engulf the room in its fiery destruction. Paint melting off the walls, wood and glass cracking under the pressure. And yet, he still holds on to you, lips pressed on your cold lips in a fleeting goodbye.

“Hobie!”

—

In the middle of nowhere sits the remnants of a farm with clovers growing all around it. Vines snaking along what remains of the farm house, and in those vines, pink hydrangeas grow and thrive amidst the cinders. And behind those darkened wood sits two graves with clovers growing on top of the soil. Two names are etched on simple limestone graves, they bear the same last name and same date of death.

Many travelers pass through the place without ever knowing the story behind the two graves. Seasons come and go, flowers bloom and wither. But only a few ever knew what used to stand on the emerald farm. What used to grow, what colour the house was, and who used to live in it. Stories were whispered and told but only a few truly knew the story behind it, few who came and visited and placed flowers on each of the graves.

And in those few, only three of them know that the once abundant farm where two graves were dug right under an oak tree, are empty.

The stories and the graves were enough to fool anyone left that wants to hurt either one of you to turn back and lament.

The true story lies behind the northern border, where pine trees grow up to the skies. Where snow and ice envelops the whole place. Where the two names etched on the gravestones in the empty farm now live.

“Stop bullyin’ your brother.” The dappled foal yelps, trotting away from his much bigger older brother. The dark horse with white splotches turns his bright blue eyes towards Hobie, huffing and puffing like an annoyed teenager. “Don't huff at me,” great, now he's the one talking to horses. “Go tell your dad not to have any more kids. Not my problem, junior.” The young horse rears, running towards the barn where Buckeye and Cherry sleeps.

Hobie leans on the fence, watching the sunrise on his expansive land. Horses and foals run around freely, feeling the cold gust of wind in their manes. A few sheep roam the grounds, while a pair of cows chew their way towards the fences. Snow-capped mountains rise up high in the background, white snow dusted along the rocks like sugar. While the trees dotted along the mountainside makes for the perfect scenic view. He pulls at his jacket closer to himself, fur tickling his nose as he breathes out puffs of smoke from the cold temperature. Winter’s coming, he can feel it in his joints as another breeze rolls in. He smiles in contentment when the air carries the sound of ducks quacking from their coop, and the smell of morning dew passing by. No more does the smell of fiery gunpowder graze his senses, and no sounds of bullets firing ringing in his ears.

He keeps his hat snug on his head, Clover runs by with her litter of puppies tugging along. And he feels you before you arrive by his side. A smile tugs on his lips, hand already reaching for your waist.

“What are you thinking about, cowboy?” You flutter your eyelashes, chin placed in his shoulder.

“That I have it good, too good.”

You give him a tender smile, leaning to kiss his jaw. “None of that. This isn't too good for you, you deserve all of this.”

“Too early to wallow, huh?” Hobie wraps his arm around your waist to pull you closer, and then he twists around to face you fully, back leaning on the fence, admiring you in the bitter blue of dawn.

You find penchants on his sternum, nose nuzzling his scar. “So fucking early.” He laughs, music to your ears.

“Hard to get used to, huh?”

“Kind of, it's a good feeling though, waking up.”

“You feel okay, right?” His palm pats your chest gently where a scar lies. “No breathlessness? Nothin'?”

You sniff at the cool wind, “nothing, I'm fine, Hobie.” You cup his cheek, jaw rounded at the edges, scruff tickling you, he looks as if time hasn't passed. “Nothing to worry about.” He leans towards your touch, fingers bracelet around your wrist gently, lips meeting your skin. “You okay?”

“Never better, love.” His green eyes twinkle, free arm pulling you impossibly closer. “Especially today.”

You tilt your head playfully. “What's today exactly?”

“Cheeky,” he pokes your side. “You know what day it is.”

You feign realization. “Ah! I remember now, Riri and the gang are coming over.”

“Yes, and?” He grins, biting his lower lip, jade eyes crinkling at the corners. Seeing the matching rings on your finger and his own makes him smile wider.

You suck in your teeth, acting like you're thinking. “It's Bucky's birthday?” Hobie rolls his eyes with a chuckle, and you finally relent. “I know what day it is.” You lean away, taking out a letter addressed to Hobie from your pocket. It's filled with affectionate words, loving thoughts and everything in between. It's a love letter just for him. “Happy anniversary, Hobs.”

Hobie's chest fills with a sense of belonging, heart full with his love for you. He keeps the letter in his coat pocket, right above his heart. “Happy anniversary, lovie.” He pulls you back, you giggle as your palm hits his chest, fingers snaking up to his nape to guide him towards your waiting lips.

“Forgot something, cowboy?” You say against his lips, and he nudges your nose with his own.

You feel something grazing against your chin, and when you flick your eyes down, you see a letter written in his hand, addressed to you. You tamp down your excitement, snatching the envelope, giving it a peck and tucking it inside your jean pocket.

“Never, read it together like always?” He pecks your warm lips once, then twice before indulging himself in your warmth.

“Yes,” you utter, breathlessly. “But inside, your tea, and the girls are waiting.”

Hobie chortles, kissing you again before reluctantly pulling away. “They're awake?”

“They smelt breakfast.” You inhale, letting his sandalwood and mint scent waft over you with ease. “If you hurry, there might still be some left for you.” You begin to walk away, hand grasping his palm.

“Alright, just one more then we'll go.” He pulls you back to his chest gently as you giggle atop his lips. He kisses you like he did all those years ago.

In the middle of nowhere, his story begins. And in the middle of nowhere, his story ends with you.

A/N: Thank you so much for sticking around this long! Our beloved cowboy is finally happy and at peace 🥺 If you loved reading OPIN please consider reblogging ❤️

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robynlilyblack · 2 years ago

Text

A snake and his little bird

Regulus Black x gn! sunshine! Reader (fem version)

Summary: Y/n has been keeping their relationship with a certain Black brother secret, but when James starts investigating why they're always stealing the map they realise they're in hot water

Warnings: swearing, some angst, hurt comfort established relationships (reader x regulus, wolfstar), kissing, mentions of food, eating, sex, toxic family and abuse

A/n: 4.1k words, reader is in regulus' year but is a marauder and like them a Gryffindor x thank you for the request! Enjoy 💛

Navigation | Marauders Era Characters Masterlist

You doodled in the margin of your parchment, mostly little drawings representing you and your friends animagus forms. A stag for James, a dog sitting in a crescent moon for Sirius and Remus and a rat laying a top of a cheese block for Peter

You were just adding detail to the wings of your own form when a little bit of paper landed in front of you. Looking up at the professor you saw he was still droning on about some kind of charm, merlin did you hope Flitwick would be back soon because this guy sucked

Although one silver lining was with him not paying attention you could folded the paper, smiling as you instantly recognised the impeccable handwriting

You look pretty today

Glancing to your right you see Regulus sitting with Barty at the other end of the classroom, Barty seems to be busy trying to do what seems like origami while Regulus is already subtly looking at you

You scrawl on the paper holding it up, you say that every day, you bite your lip

His lips tug gently, an act most would miss but not you. He writes on his own parchment, because it’s true, and in my defence I said cute yesterday, he holds it up briefly, long enough for only you to read and not even Barty notices, although the boy wouldn’t really mind anyway, just give your boyfriend a good teasing for it

He revels in your reaction, that smile that you always wore just that little bit brighter when he was around, he gives you a little nod before returning to watch Barty and you go back to your drawings

Around 10 minutes pass and you were just beginning to sketch the constellation Regulus lies in when a little flower lands on your desk

Picking it up you unfold the little flap that says, open me, doing as it says you smile at the words, still on for our date little bird?

You look over, noticing Barty’s flowers are terrible compared to this one and you nod ‘Just need to grab the map first’ you mouth to him and he nods

Soon enough class was over and as you walked out Regulus gently brushed his hands with yours, whispering a soft ‘see you at your spot’. You watched him walk off with Barty, Evan and Pandora with the biggest smile, your relationship wasn’t exactly secret, his friends knew, and Lily knew being the one to cover for you in your dorm, but really you kept your relationship on the down low so your fellow marauders wouldn’t find out

You were two years younger than the boys but being Remus’ childhood friend, you were pretty much welcomed in the moment you got on the train in first year. In their fifth and your third they became animagus with you doing the same the following year…and yes it took entire year of you, James, Sirius and Peter begging for Remus to finally cave and let you do it too. Earning the nickname ‘chirp’ when you succeeded, not only from your form but because you were always upbeat and happy

Of course, they hated Slytherins, well, James and Sirius did with a passion while Peter and Remus were just wary of them. You didn’t mind them, sure there were Slytherins you wanted to punch and in fact had done as such back in second year, but most were actually pretty nice when the Lastrange’s of the world weren’t watching

“Prongs!” you call out as you see him passing, waving to him from afar

His head scoots up at the call, looking around until he spots you. A grin grows on his face, turning back to say goodbye to Marlene before jogging up to you

“Hey haven’t seen you all day” he throws his arm around you, pulling you roughly into him and making you giggle

“Nice to see you too”

“So, what did you just escape from?” he asks, his arm more relaxed as you both walk aimlessly down the corridor

“Charms” you inform, leaning your head into him

You were closest with Remus but after he and Sirius began dating, you and James bonded more whilst they were being all couple-y. Peter was there too but he usually changed into a rat and went a nap in order to escape their pda. Which was something James couldn’t inconspicuously do, although, you and he did manage to convinced everyone you were his pet bird for a month last year…and may have helped him cheat just a bit on some tests and steal a bunch of stuff from the class storerooms

“Godric with the substitute?” you nod “How did you survive?” he wonders rather dramatically “No but really, how? Teach me your ways dear birdy” he uncouples himself and bows before you

“You’re silly”

“I know” he takes it like a compliment as he should, returning to his previous position

“I just doodled and listened pans as she explained her latest experiment”

He nods “Fair enough, although…” you keep your smile but you know that although “…just watch out with Pandora, she’s a little weird and that’s fine but she’s friendly with Slytherins alright?” he says it softly, like he’s trying to protect you

You give him a little nod “Sure thing Prongs” you say, not wishing to ruin the moment nor your chances of why you sought him out “Say” you stop walking “You mind if I borrow the map for a couple hours?” you ask sweetly

He nods right away, moving to get it out of his satchel “Hear ya go” he hands it over with a smile

“Thanks Prongs” you slip it into your own bag “I need to go but I’ll see you later in the common room?”

“Yeah see you then” he gives you a wink and smile, waiting until you walk off before it drops and he digs into his bag again to retrieve a certain cloak

James felt guilty following you, so much he almost turned back as well. Almost. He just had a funny feeling you were keeping something from him and the others, he didn’t think that something was necessarily a bad something, more he was just curious as to why you needed the map so often.

Along the way he saw you stop at a window, checking your hair and putting on some lip balm. That’s when he smirked, you were seeing someone

He and the boys were protective, they’d defend you till the say they died but they weren’t so protective they would stop any person from seeing you. Still he knew why you might keep it a secret, Remus and Sirius kept theirs quiet for quite a while as did Alice and Frank, even if everyone and their grandmother could see it coming

“Back of the library, classy” he chuckles as he follows little ways back, this area was known for secret liaisons, yet he as he followed he ended up in an area he’d never been before, which wasn’t uncommon for him since you and Remus did the schematics for it

He watched you place your books on the table, satchel hanging over the back of the chair along with your robe, looking like it was any other study session until…

“Saucy” he notes, watching as someone wraps their arms around you from behind, kissing your neck

He was about to retreat and give you some privacy but then he registers the green tie as you turned around. Pushing his glasses up he grimaced at the scene, watching you get pressed against the bookshelves by a snake of all people…and not just any snake

“Pads is gonna flip…fuck” he curses, shaking his head and quickly walking out of the library, debating all the way back of what to do with this new-found information

It was a shame he left so early, completely misinterpreting the scene as a hook-up rather than what it truly was, two people who were more than a little in love with one another meeting for their bi-weekly study date

“Sorry lovely” Regulus apologies, his thumb trailing over your now plump lips

You shake your head lightly, not wanting to disrupt his movements “You never have to be sorry for kissing me” you can’t stop the smile from spreading on your face, not when he’s shining down at you like this

He pecks your smile “Still” his arms gently peel you off the bookshelf, one slithering around to rub the impact mark “Didn’t mean to give you a possible bruise…in more than one area” he nudges his nose into your neck

You sigh at the small circles on your back “It’s okay, doesn’t hurt so don’t worry your pretty little head” his cheeks raise, a dusting of pink coating them at you calling him pretty

This was the Regulus few got to see, the mushy one who was a complete softy for you, his Gryffindor birdy. The one that could make him flustered beyond compare with a single word, touch or glance

“You okay there gorgeous?” you tease him just a little and he licks his lips

“Stop” he says holding back the biggest smile

He encourages you over to sit at the table, trying to compose himself but it’s hard when your around

“Or what beautiful?” you smirk

You watch as he quickly shrugs off his robes and cardigan, dragging the chair around so he can sit beside you before he pulls you down into the adjacent seat, his movements soft while his voice is firm

“Or I’ll do more than press you against the bookshelf” he warns, hand squeezing your upper thigh before sliding down towards the knee and resting it there

You let out a little gasp at his actions, remaining quiet as you open one of the books before whispering a soft “Handsome”

He chuckles, that small bit of firmness he held fading “You swallow a thesaurus?” he wonders kissing your cheek

“No” you shy away with a pouty smile playing on your lips

“How many more do you have because you better get them out now or we’ll never get through Slughorn's essay” his hand wraps further into your inner thigh, thumbs gently sweeping across the thin fabric of your tights

“Cute, stunning, charming…” you say quickly,

“Done?” he asks sweetly, the tint in on his face darkening

“Exquisite” you kiss his cheek “Magnificent” then one to his nose causing it to scrunch oh so cutely “Wonderful” you finish with a peck to the lips “Now I’m done” you grin turning back to the books and leaving him positively flustered

“Maybe over the course of two hours would have been better” he admits and when you glance back his cheeks are crimson “Merlin you make me soft” he lets out a little laugh

“How soft?” you ask, positively beaming at him and his state

“Like the blankets we take the astronomy tower had a baby with a cloud and…I mean…okay I really don’t know where I was going with that but you get the idea” he covers his face as you both start giggling, leaning into you as you laugh together

“You’re adorable” you add and he pretends like he got a dagger to the heart

“You can’t surprise attack me with that you cruel women…I’m a puddle now”

You really were a ray of sunshine when you returned to the common room, that was until you were greeted with no one but your friends sitting around the couches, looking like they were plotting for war

“Who pissed us off this time?” you giggle, dropping your bag off your shoulder and letting it drag as you reach the couches

They didn’t laugh. Remus and Peter looked nervous, the former rubbing Sirius’ back in a soothing motion, something he only had to do when his boyfriend was beyond upset. Your eyes flicked to James, he didn’t look as angry as Sirius but more disappointed, and somehow that was worst

A pit started forming in your stomach

“Where were you?” Sirius asks, voice cold

“The library” you try to keep your smile, hoping maybe they’ve just had a bad day

“With?” he says shorty, pressing his lips together to spot himself saying more

“Why does this feel like an interrogation?” you swallow hard, heart thumping in your chest hoping to merlin this wasn’t happening, that maybe you fell asleep during study or this was some weird prank

Sirius sits forward “Maybe it wouldn’t if you weren’t off fucking my little brother?” he comes right out with it

You froze, feeling like all life left your body as they stare you down, the judgement in his voice, the disappointment, the rage

“I…I wasn’t” you try to speak, to explain, but James just huffs a laugh

“I saw you, y/n” that was the moment you knew they may never forgive you, he used your real name “That why you’ve been asking the map multiple times a week since we started back? Off to your little corner in the library to get pressed up against it” he accuses

You felt your face warm at the knowledge he had seen you and then the guilt spread across your face

“Are you going to keep lying to us?”

Sirius stares you down to the point Remus sits back, an unreadable expression on his face as he knows he can’t prevent whatever his boyfriend will say

“I’m not lying” you insist “If you had just waited…” James cuts you off

“Waited to see you fuck a snake? Ugh no thank you” he almost sings the last bit with a look of disgust

“My brother of all people” Sirius cuts in, his voice demanding “Why…just why?”

“I love him” you answer honestly as lies wouldn’t save you, besides you were done pretending

Their expressions freeze

Peter and Remus looking taken aback and in thought, clearly processing, James just skips everything and goes straight to an almost sympathetic disgust, and Sirius just goes straight to angry, standing up and pointing

“No” he shakes his head “You don’t” he tells you “You don’t” he repeats harder

You felt tears prick your eyes but you hold it, trying to stay strong. You were the happy one, no one had ever seen you really cry and if they did it was usually due to pain

“But I do” you say weakly but there’s a firmness to it which makes Sirius look at you with pity

His hands grip your shoulders “I grew up with him so you listen to me when I say he is incapable of love. He’s a miserable sod, a grumpy bitter guy that cannot and does not love you” he slows down so the last words sink in

You shake your head “You’re wrong…you’re…you’re wrong” you manage to get out, voice breaking and it makes the boys wince

“I’m not, I wish I was but I’m not. You can’t see him anymore, he’s just using you to get to me. He doesn’t love you y/n, you mean nothing to…”

“Stop it!” you shout, pushing him away

They flinch at your tone “Y/n” Sirius tries to reach out but you step backwards

“No!” you let the tears fall not caring anymore “I love him and he loves me. You are all just too caught up in your own ideals and hate of Slytherins to notice how good a person he is”

“He’s a purist!” James exclaims “He called Lily a mudblood in his first year”

“Yeah James in first year! When he was 11 and scared, scared because guess who was also in that corridor? Malfoy, a 6ft platinum giant with a cane up his arse that won’t quit. Merlin of course he did because what was the alternative?”

“Not doing that! I didn’t stoop that low at his age” Sirius crosses his arms

“Yeah because you gotta come back here…” you gesture to the common room “...and be praised for it. Bet it be fucking different if you had to go down the dungeons like him, sleep a mere few rooms down from someone 6 years older that would have no remorse in beating you up for it”

“You’re being silly” Sirius says, clearly not wanting to listen because if he did then he would be the bad guy here, he knew the guilt that would come from it “You’re trying to justify it because you know he’s no good”

You scrunch up your face, so disappointed in your friends “Maybe you’re no good” is all you say taking the map out of your bag and shoving it into Sirius’ chest before walking quickly up to your dorm, ignoring all of their calls

The next morning the boys headed down for breakfast, with James and Sirius facing the Slytherin table, eyes fixed on Regulus as he chatted with Barty and Evan. He hadn’t noticed the stares, nor did he know you were currently in a little ball in bed crying and would be for most of the coming days.

James was half watching while Sirius gaze was fixated on his brother, trying to figure out what his endgame was with you. His eyes only tore away when Lily and Alice entered the great hall without you

Regulus noticed too, his normal little glance to see his partner’s smile was now a sad stare at the girls, a stare Sirius noticed but choice to pass off as confusion instead of clear mild concern

You had managed to drag yourself into the shower today, now wearing the charmed jumper Regulus gifted you that smelt like him, already sniffling and ready to read the saddest, most depressing book in your collection

That was until there was a noise from your window, followed by its opening and your boyfriend tumbling in, hitting the floor with a thump

“Are you okay?” you crawl to the end of the bed

“Yeah yeah I’m fine” he says groaning and definitely not okay by his wincing as he clampers over to the bed, kneeling on the ground in front of you “Are you okay?” he asks a little breathless “I’m sorry for barging quite literally in but it’s been days”

Your heart flutters and breaks all at once, how could the people you love not see this adorable puppy dog of a man in front of you that literally almost broke all his bones flying up and into your window to check you were okay

“They know” you start to tear up again “They know Reggie”

His eyebrows knit before the realisation hits, his face morphing to fear briefly before he stands and moves to sit on the bed next to you, engulfing you in his arms

“We’ll be fine” he assures you both “No matter what”

Your hands clutch to his robes, not caring that he is freezing from the cold morning air “I know” you nod into his chest

He gently pulls your face back, cupping it as he wipes the tears “And you know I love you right?” his own eyes are glassy, both of you knowing that things were gonna be a little bit harder from now on but you wouldn’t let them win

“I love you too” you return it softly

He gives you a small smile before leaning in to kiss you, lips salty from your tears but neither of you care. Unfortunately, the moment is cut short when your door opens, banging against the wall as it does and making you jump apart

Regulus’ face hardens, turning off the emotions switch he had developed in order to survive

“Hands off!” Sirius points at his brother

“Love” Remus tries to pull him back, the only one seeing the scene for what it was

Sirius shrugs out of his grip “No” he stares you and Regulus down “You are going to leave and never see them again, I’m not going to let you use one of my best friends to get back at me”

“Like hell I am” Regulus wraps his arm around you, feeling you nuzzle your head into his chest, fresh tears soaking through his shirt

“Regulus”

“Sirius” he returns his brother's angered tone threefold “I am not leaving when they’re upset. If anyone should leave it’s you, you made them cry”

Remus, James and Peters expressions soften at that but Sirius doesn’t let up

“I’m not leaving until you leave”

“Fine then I guess you better get comfy” his other arm comes around, cupping the back of your head in a soothing motion before he whispers reassurances to you

“I’m…” Sirius stops himself as he watches his brothers’ actions “…Why?” is all he can say

Regulus holds you close, peering up at his brother “Why what?” he knew what he was asking, he just didn’t know how to answer it just yet

“Why? Of all people Regulus why one of my best friends”

“You can’t control who you fall in love with” he says, looking down at you

You raise your head, letting him plant a kiss you’re your forehead before you burying yourself back into his embrace

“You can’t love” Sirius shakes his head, tears forming “You can’t because you never loved me…you never showed any emotion after I left for Hogwarts”

Everyone’s heart broke, the cracks in his voice, Remus having to take James’ hand to stop himself from hugging his partner while Peter rubs his back

“I do love you” Regulus’ hard expression finally breaks “I never stopped”

“Why didn’t you come with me then? When I cried, poured my heart out while I was still bleeding…you closed the door in my face”

Regulus winces at that, you don’t have to see him to know. You kiss his chest, hugging him tighter as you knew how much he hated himself for that, how much he wanted to go back…how he had also packed a bag but by that time Sirius had already left and it was too late

“I wanted to, I was just scared” he confesses “When you got sorted into Gryffindor mum and dad were so mad they spent every waking moment conditioning me to…” he makes little bunny ears with his fingers “…not make the same mistake you did”

Sirius moves to sit at the end of your bed, signalling the other boys can stay when they attempt to back out

“They hurt me too when I asked why it was a bad thing, eventually after talking with Evan he told me that the best thing to do is to pretend. Have a switch you can turn off and just feel nothing…and for a while I did that, to the point I was just existing”

He caresses your hair before looking back at his brother

“Then one day I was in the library and y/n came along, sitting next to me like it was nothing” he lets out a small chuckle “Talking my ear off about some kind of plant and how it was so cool…”

“It was cool” you mutter earning small chuckles from the room, James and Peter moving to sit on the bed next to yours while Remus sits behind Sirius, placing a kiss to his shoulder

“Sorry what I meant was they were telling me about this super awesome…ouch love” he groans as you pinch him “Anyway” he turns back to his brother who is watching him curiously, lips tugging upwards as he observed yours and his interactions “After a few weeks I finally spoke back, realising they weren’t a…ploy from you” he winces “Y/n helped me. That switch that had been stuck off was finally on again when my little birds nearby”

You shift away from his chest, still leaning on his shoulder but you could see your friends again

He looks down at you “They helped my live again, smile again” he says, doing just that “I love y/n and I love you. I never meant to hurt you Siri” he turns back to his brother, seeing the surprise yet comfort the old nickname from their youth brought as it slips out

“I never wanted to hurt you either” he nods, blinking the tears from his eyes “I love you too Reg”

“Fucks sake hug!” James says sniffling with Peter tissues in their hands “Please you're killing us” he waves for them to embrace, this tissue causing him to resemble one of those mothers from period books

You and Remus giggle, moving away from your significant others to the middle of the bed. You intertwined your hand with his while he wrapped his other around you, both watching as the brothers hug for the first time in 7 years

“We always joked about being siblings but in a few years that might actually be true” Remus whispers to you“We always were overachievers” you whisper back, giggling together while James seems to cry harder…and they call Remus the mum of the group

Thank you for reading 💛

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dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram · 3 years ago

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Hello. I’ve been loving your discussion on Harry’s House, his fantasy boyfriend persona, his emotional distance, etc. Where I am at at the moment is that that distance is partly explained by his closet and partly by his ability as a song writer, though my thoughts are ever evolving. I’ve also been thinking about whether there’s ‘a there, there’ but from an entire different angle than say a reviewer would - in particular comparing his songwriting to Taylor Swift - who I also believe is closeted but is a far superior songwriter. I would love your thoughts on Taylor in this context, if you have any and would like to share.

That's a really interesting question and approach anon. I think rather than talking about songwriting generally - I think it's more useful to hone in on a particular skill - storytelling.

Taylor is an incredible storyteller - and she's incredible storyteller on every level. She can tell a really effective story in an individual song - with very specific emotional beats and development. But she's also pretty incomparable when it comes to meta level storytelling - telling the story of her life. Her songs have always been connected to her story and she's always been amazing at telling, and then retelling her story.

There are so many examples, but it's hard to look past through both Red, and then its reissue. The original 'As It Was' is a very powerful story of a girl who has been in love for the first time and is deep in grief. It's very focused on her reaction and her grief.

Then, almost a decade later she tells the same story again, and this time it becomes clear how cruel and manipulative the man had been. It was an amazing way to expand the story, but also to re-narrate her life. She portrayed herself as going through the re-evaluation that happens with age, and has been more common over the last few years as women have talked about their experiences.

I'm so excited about the other reissues and the ways in which she may be re-narrating her life. I have this secret hope that she's going to come out through this process. Particularly through the reissue of Taylor Swift or Speak Now, by including vault tracks which show her attraction to women and the ways she suppressed that. I think it'd be amazing in so many ways, in particular the way that it mirrors the ways that women who have compulsory heterosexuality have to renarrate their lives to themselves.

And what this all means is that Taylor, when she wants to, tells better stories about her life than any fan can tell. I didn't think her and Jake were real, and I imagined her having already written All Too Well and deciding she wanted pap pics to go with it. (I've always been more about vibes than details when it comes to Taylor). But when the All Too Well 10 minute version came out, I found that far more compelling than the story I'd be telling.

I watched two videos from Joe Alwyn's promo round. And had a very strong 'really her?' reaction. So I'm back to thinking that they're fake. But I'm sure Taylor could persuade me that they were real by telling stories about him.

***********

Harry's got none of those skills - not in the individual songs - and certainly not telling stories about his life. But that's not what he's trying to do.

This is where Nora's observations are so important. He's very good at creating spectacle and creating sonic moments. And the reason these are so effective, is because in these moments Harry gives people bits of the fantasy version of him they want him to be (whatever that is) and then they can project the rest in the gaps around those moments.

I think Harry's also exceptionally good at what he does. And one of the reasons I know because I'm the one who hears Matilda and is like: 'I hate how this relates to abuse'. And I had to really study it and think about it to get that the point is that it's a fantasy (and I still hate it).

I think it's important not to devalue what Harry does (and part of what it makes it difficult and effective is that he can't show how hard he's working at it). But I do think the question of how what he does will be viewed overtime is a very active one.

#One of the reason 'Larry' is so powerful #is that neither Harry #nor Louis #have never come close to telling a more interesting story about theirlife

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williamaltman · 3 years ago

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So, Multiverse of Madness. I actually just watched it now. I couldn't go to the cinema for reasons. It was, well, kind of what I thought it would. I was ready for it after the leaks, and with all the spoilers I saw even though mostly avoiding them, I kind of REALLY knew what was gonna happen at almost every moment.

Now, I'm gonna say, I did enjoy it. It's an entertaining movie. I think it's far from being one of Marvel's worsts (though it's not one of it's best either). I'm sure I would have enjoyed it just a bit more if I had seen it on the cinema, cause I can imagine how much more exciting it is. The fact that the movie is, well, exciting, it's really what kind of saves it, I guess? What I mean is that, if this was like, a TV show broken into a few episodes, it would've been boring. It probably could use a bigger length still, just some 10-30 minutes, to explore a few things more, but I'm satisfied enough with what it was.

Now, let's go to the main thing. Wanda. I thought Wanda in the movie was... Fine. I'm not gonna throw hands about it. That's partly because I had already accepted this reality months and months before, partly cause, as I said, she's still etertaining, Lizzie sells it, and I think the narrative is still sympathetic enough towards her.

Which, you know, I'm happy about. I knew she was always gonna be a sympathetic villain, but I feel like things could've gotten a lot more personal and a lot more heavy-handed at showing her as evil. Like, people who hate her are still gonna hate her, those who loved her will still love her, those who are neutral aren't too likely to change their mind, since she only killed NPCs and AU versions... It hasn't really changed much of anything in regards to the discourse™.

What she does here is objectively worse than WandaVision, and I wouldn't say it's such a "natural progress", but it's also not THAT unbelievable considering the timeskip, the Darkhold corruption, the way you see her humanity at a few moments, especially the end, and that they let her have one heroic act –which, people are gonna discredit it and not care and blabla, but that's, like I said, the usual. It does matter a lot that no one, not any Wanda, and not anyone else either (like the 838 Strange), will be tempted by the Darkhold, which is really an endless possible amount of universes being saved. So yeah, fight me, but I'll give her the credit for that.

I honestly really like that what gave her humanity back was her children. Both in the movie and in the comics, especially in the comics (Disassembled and House of M), she's treated as a hysterical woman obsessed with having children, that she can't. But here, she wants them from another universe, it's not that much of a matter of whether their real, whether she should have these children, in the literal sense of being a mother, and more about how she shouldn't take them when they already have their own Wanda as a mother.

I feel like they're ultimately portrayed positively, as she realizes what she's done when she says she wouldn't hurt them. Her loss feels more akin to her usual theme of grief, that she already felt for Vision, Pietro, and her parents. I, also like the little detail, where she resents Strange for giving the time stone to Thanos, making it necessary for her to sacrifice Vision –and that being for nothing, especially because Thanos uses the time stone to revert it and kill him again, which he otherwise couldn't. We had two mentions of Vis, and I found the latter one to be quite meaningful.

I'm excited about her future, since this is obviously not the end. We got through the worst part already, and to me it wasn't even as bad as it could've been, so for that I'm glad!

#Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness #Multiverse of Madness #DSITMOM #DSMOM #Wanda Maximoff #Scarlet Witch #DSMOM Spoilers #DSITMOM Spoilers #Multiverse of Madness spoilers

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mowu-moment · 3 years ago

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i feel controversial & i care too much, so here's my des rocs complete tierlist

ranked list & reasoning (ish) under the cut

1. WAYNE: hoholy shit wayne. can hardly put into words how explosive this one is to me. the intro sets a Whole Mood before swiftly (& cleanly) smacking it down into an Absolute Banger and i don't use the term lightly. very hard not to scream along with it. only detriment is that wayne the person is kinda an ass in the mmc video but that's no qualm

2. POS: basically the same thing as wayne (oh both have great lyrics btw, this one more so), only gets points knocked for being 2 minutes long and having 30 seconds of that being intro & outro. go danny give us nothing

3. WHY WHY WHY: there's a theme among my top picks--they're all hard-hitting w/ killer guitar. the lyrics are absolute batshit in a good way, but the chorus is a lil flat & i feel like in general it just needed a touch more spice to score the top spot. or maybe it's just seniority & it'll have a coup a few months out idk

4. DEAD RINGER: similar killer guitar & lyrics but this one is Groovy as Hell. don't particularly like his singing in this one & it's too repetitive if i'm feeling grumpy but there's something so magic about after the bridge. top 10 songs to twirl a flag to

5. NOTHING PERSONAL: the minute long outro irks me & it's a little bit empty but plays into that well. groovy, great lyrics, the Sexiest Guitar Solo of the lot, the screaming's a minus but it does have an emotion there. not entirely sure what one but it's there.

6. LET ME LIVE / LET ME DIE: his first time being all over the goddamn place, history was made. amazing guitar, a little worse lyrics than 1-4 i'll admit, the intro Slays me both in a good and bad way. must be a joy to play live where he can just drag out that intro & bridge as long as feels right. at least i liked it in the digital concert like that. would actually kill me in a physical concert, imagine how much stomping gets going to that beat. bonus points for presumable cowbell

7. PIECES: for once not this high for the guitar & lyrics, they're both kinda basic. idk what's about this one but it just takes me to a separate dimension & i love it so much for that. really fills those earholes. also a bit of personal meaning, heard it for the first time on the day we moved into the house i'm currently split-custody-living in (is that tmi?) & the first music video of his i saw. man i love some spaghetti on the wall

8. SLO: basically the same as dead ringer, but knocked points for a kinda lame outro & the subject matter being a little less interesting to me. still lovely.

9. HANGING BY A THREAD: not my normal fare really & the way that the ends of the verses don't really fit in the pacing of them is bleh, but it's just so reminiscent of the songs my brother puts on whenever we hang out together that it just makes me all warm & fuzzy. it's also nicely put together which is something i'll have to start saying for. the later list.

10. SUICIDE ROMANTICS: this is where i start griping about head voice & higher pitches in general. don't like em so the pre-chorus is a lil annoying. also not my normal fare but it's tender & the ending is awe-striking. imo better live where he's loud on that last line before the final chorus. not enough to bump it up though. shoutouts to love and a smoking gun, i still am dying to hear that one

11. THE PAST HAS PASSED AWAY: my favorite lyrics out of the first 2 ep's. only thing wrong with it really is the bridge getting kinda repetitive. love that last chorus heehoo. same schpeel as the Banger Category

12. MMC: this one's lower than the rest of the Bangers for being pop punk which is something the radio has made me dislike, i guess. that trope with the guitar in the second half of the chorus just kills me so much. improves greatly during & after the bridge, love that lil ragtime piano. generally the same bit as before but i do love him doing something un-romance-related. yeah fuck the establishment!

13. THE DEVIL INSIDE: reminds me A Lot of the electronic-ish cassettes i've got from the early 90's but that's just me. this one will probably move up as i get more used to it, but only a little bit. the first part of the second verse makes me like. genuinely uncomfy? but the second part of it's fantastic. ending's ass though what happened to the instrumence. bonus points for using 'reverie' that's an SAT word (maybe). good singing but returning to the gripe at higher pitches, just a little bit though

14. THIS IS OUR LIFE: feels shockingly generic for a des rocs song tbh but there's nothing really wrong with that. adore the bridge. singing's alright. kinda miffed that he doesn't pronounce the 'f' in the second 'life' in the chorus, but it makes sense here. that sort of thing won't later so i'm bringing it up now. guitar's nothing spectacular but fits nicely into the song, probably one of the most cohesive of his (especially in recent history).

15. OUTTA MY MIND: really lives in the same space as slo and dead ringer do in my head (most likely the 'songs to twirl a flag to' zone), but this is by far the worst of the three for when i'm grumpy. just. Very repetitive. back to great lyrics here but it's kinda hard to pick them out (i've heard the song at least 100 times by now & i'm still missing a few lines). still groovin'

16. RUBY WITH THE SHARPEST LIES: what the fuck actually goes on in this song by the way? not the premise or whatever it's just. so all over the place. the verses are incredible but bringing in another vocalist just for one line kills me. bridge is really cool but that one part i don't remember where it is, the one that alternates basically nothing & an Electronic Piano Chord blaring at ya? ruins it. partially anyhow. also can someone tell the people on genius that it's 'carved it in my skin' not 'crawled down in my skin'

17. GIVE ME THE NIGHT: same repetitive issue as outta my mind but it's not groovy enough to save it, shame. feels like a trial run of all the wackshit stuff he's been doing recently, with the additional vocal bits at the end & the kinda weird lyrics. it still has a place in my heart don't get me wrong but it's just fallen in favor of stuff that Commits to banger or batshit (or actually pulls off both strongly, yyy). oh yeah nice guitar alright singing etc etc

18. USED TO THE DARKNESS: similar story to give me the night. i love it i do, but it's just lackluster nowadays. also remember that under-pronunciation thing i brought up in this is our life? this is where that comes back. rampant i tell you! that second verse he just doesn't finish the words & i hate it!

19. DON'T HURT ME: i honestly don't know why this one isn't in D. the chorus bit where he just cuts it short is irksome. the lyrics aren't anything special. i don't know what i like about it. but i can tell it does exactly what it set out to do if that makes sense. respect, respect. and using missile in an analogy, he's getting creative with the vocab

20. LIVING PROOF: kinda got a vendetta against this one i think? i don't know why i hate this one but i do. it's just kinda, blah. like the perfect sort of thing to nightcore up. sentiment's lovely & i do love the lyrics even if they aren't impressive but like. it bores me to an extent

21. TICK (LIVE): separating the version i heard in the digital concert just to give it some credit, this one was actually kinda nice. another one with a nice sentiment & what he was going for is great. no clue what the second part of the second verse has to do with any of this though. and it also begins our final group, the songs that just feel empty. like there's not nearly enough going on. this one's alright though i was just hoping the studio version would add some flair. you can see where that one is though.

22. IMAGINARY FRIENDS: also got a vendetta against pop. kinda hate the sentiment here (contrast!), the chorus just falls short of what the verses prime me for, head voice is rampant, and yet i still swing along to it. it's infectious props to him. love the outro though, monkey laugh and all.

23. MAYBE, I: another empty one, like it's a four-note progression what is that. love his singing in it, and the chorus parts do round it out, but like. eh? it doesn't even give me much to say.

24. BORN TO LOSE: another flop on the chorus! too smooth i say! and i absolutely Despise the pitch-shifting thing going on. not something i was expecting him to express so points there, lyrics are nothing fancy to my Literary Mind though. initially good singing but the chorus he's just sloppy over it. the instrumental is lovely but the vocals just throw it so hard into the bin which is a right shame. fuck that outro too i hate that gimmick

25. I KNOW: here's where the bad batshit comes in. singing is some of his worst imo, does the other-vocalist thing for that bridge, genre i'm not fond of, just a soup of Stuff I Don't Like. not one i'd kill someone over putting as #1 like i can see where it comes from but. mmmmmhhhh bad. cover does NOT help his case.

26. HVY MTL DRMR: empirically i should put this one higher. but the chorus flops so goddamn hard it deserves to be in the bottom of the barrel. the verses are lovely for what he was doing back then! but then just... nothing!

27. RABBIT HOLE: i was so excited for this name but it's just sad boi hours playlist curated by some corporation you hate. probably the most nothing of them all, genuinely where are the instruments. what happened. was this one just shoehorned in as the final track just to pump numbers up. and i swear he had some autotune or something which only makes his voice worse it's fantastic naturally. also that's not what a rabbit hole is! that's not the idiom! a rabbit hole is when you go on a wikipedia spiral from jennifer lopez to group theory! not when you just have a shitty night's sleep or whatever this is! i'm not just miffed i'm downright annoyed

28. TICK (STUDIO): what the fuck happened des. how did you release this. it sounds like a 3rd grader singing for the school talent show it's so out of rhythm. singing's honestly kinda bad & the instrumental has the same problems i talked about in the live version. the last chorus is fine, i guess, but no i don't forgive him for what he did to tick.

#des rocs #yeah i forgot tphpa on the first pass. it's always at least one #i guess i'm pessimistic on the new album? or i just don't like his new direction? idk i just finished it like. today.#wasn't expecting to be able to rank the songs of my Favorite Musician & be happy with it but here we are #tell me why i'm wrong in the notes <3

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canis-lunaris · 3 years ago

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Introducing: The Wandering Witch AU

(With transgirl!Remus, questioning!Sirius and endless conversations about the metaphysics of wandless magic)

This is the latest installment of our various Wolfstar AU's with August, one we came up with while we were on a mini-holiday, celebrating our third anniversary.

In this universe, pureblood-supremacy is rampant, keeping the Wizarding World in the permanent dark ages. Muggle-born wizards are only allowed a wand upon being accepted at a magic school, and most institutions favour pureblood children over half-blood, or muggle-born students. Wands are registered and heavily regulated, including tracking-spells and random spot-checks for counterfeit, or unregistered wands by Ministry officials.

After a werewolf-attack at age 4, Remus Lupin’s father tries to teach her magic using his own wand, knowing she would never be allowed into Hogwarts. However, performing magic with someone else's wand is not only dangerous and illegal, but also extremely difficult. Remus — a savant, who can sense magical currents in a way none of her peers can — realises that she doesn't need a wand to focus her power, and instead develops her own way of casting — or spell-weaving, more accurately —, tying an intricate web of knots between intent and the ambient magical currents to shape reality to her will. While admittedly crude and volatile, her technique turns out surprisingly potent, which makes her more than capable of protecting herself against the many dangers of a transphobic, werewolf-hating world.

Because her condition places both her and her family in a vulnerable position (the "werewolf-issue is an ages-old favourite talking point of mainstream wizarding politics, including a fearmongering campaign designed to marginalise intelligent magical creatures and eradicate non-human magic users), the Lupins decide to avoid registering their child after the attack, relying on the help of muggle medicine and corrupt healers to nurse her back to health after the transformations. They move frequently, bouncing Remus from school to school, but once Remus has gotten a basic education, they settle down in an isolated cottage on the Scottish highlands, and her mum takes on the duty of homeschooling her.

Having been brought up in a mixed family and lived the majority of her life as a muggle, Remus is well-versed in the matters of 21st century life. Once they settle into their new home, she starts transitioning, takes up Luna as her middle name, but keeps Remus as her first name, refusing to abide by arbitrary societal rules about names being connected to certain genders, rather than the people wearing them. After both her parents meet a tragically early death in a car accident, Remus finds herself alone in the world, with both a house and a large sum of money to her name; she sells the cottage and spends her parents' life insurance settlement on getting bottom surgery, then sets out to travel the world, looking for someone, or something to find a meaningful connection with.

----------

On a glance, Cassandra Black is everything her most ancient and noble house could want for an heir. She is brilliant, powerful and a downright genious when it comes to magic; the only problem is, she's a bit too smart for her own good, and no amount of discipline can keep her from asking too many questions. The only thing her bewildered parents achieve with their constant, increasingly violent punishment is that young Cassandra stops asking them, and starts looking for answers of her own.

By the time she's 11, she's thoroughly disillusioned, worlds away from the conservative, blood-supremacist doctrines she was brought up with. Upon entering Hogwarts, she spends the first free breath of her life on convincing the Sorting Hat not to place her in Slytherin, a decision she pays for with the world as she knew it. In return, she gains a new, brighter one, full of friendship, adventure and budding romance — although dark secrets, stomach-turning injustice and bitter heartbreak too. When it comes to her parents' attention that she is sleeping with a witch, their treatment turns from toxic hostility to open abuse, severing all emotional ties between Cassandra and the House of Black. She spends five years as a proud Gryffindor, but by the time her 16th birthday rolls around, she feels like she'd learnt everything Hogwarts had to offer — the good and the bad alike. She decides not to return to the castle for the sixth year: instead, she uses the start of the school year to orchestrate an elaborate escape plan, that would make it impossible for her family to find her. She breaks her wand and vanishes into the night, never to be seen again.

British Wizarding society erupts in chaos, because even one as scandalous as the Black heiress, the mysterious disappearance of a 16-year-old, pureblood-aristocrat (and a witch, for that) brings the Ministry's messaging about public safety into question, and the story keeps the tabloids busy for the better part of a year. The family puts out an enticing bounty on their firstborn's head, but regardless of the spectacular reward, no one can locate Cassandra, and without a wand to track, she proves to be impossible to trace. Eventually, the tabloids move on and the story slowly fades into the background, although, en lieu of a body, they never officially assume her dead, and the family never gives up the secret search for their wayward, blood-traitor daughter.

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Three years later:

Somewhere, hidden in the mountains of Scotland, there is a halfway-house, for magical folks who need to get off the grid, for one reason or another. Remus is a regular visitor, using the shelter's reinforced cellar for the full moon, and taking her time to recover at the quaint little house for a while thereafter. Nobody bothers her there, and while people do use the retreat — it's always clean, stocked with food, healing items and clean bedding, among other obvious signs of habitation —, she'd never encountered any other guests during her visits. This time, however, an unpleasant surprise welcomes her, in form of a backpack and a half-drunk bottle of wine on the porch, and soon, she finds the owner of the items as well, lounging on her favorite sunning spot.

The stranger looks ragged; unkempt and malnourished, and when they speak, their voice sounds hoarse, like they haven't used it for a long time. Remus is immediately weary, even though the stranger looks very young and rather unimpressive, expect for the very posh accent and the fact that despite their extremely strong magical aura, they did look startled, almost terrified when Remus walked up behind them — and yet, their hand never even twitched to draw a concealed wand.

"I’m armed!" the stranger warns — maybe they expected a muggle? —, but still doesn't move to reveal any weapon. Remus is quite certain she could take them on in one-on-one combat regardless, should it come to that, but she finds it alarming that this runaway teen would survive alone in the wilderness for what seems like a considerable period; a feat that requires a number of skills and the kind of training that does not come with the elocution training the stranger's speech suggests. Not just the accent, the face too... Under the layers of dirt, severe sunburn and a fading black eye, there is just something eerily familiar about them.

She introduces herself as Remus — it's one of her favourite ways to quickly size up a person, based on their reaction to her obviously masculine name. She does the whole cheeky, "whatchagonnado" act she perfected throughout the years, expecting anything from a spiteful comment to a confused eyebrow-raise in response, but the stranger just nods and gives her a polite "hello, Remus", like this was the most normal interaction between two people who just met at a shelter for magical misfits, in the middle of fucking nowhere.

The stranger, however, is less forthcoming about their identity, and Remus has to openly ask for their name after 10 minutes of tense, but idle chitchat. The stranger blushes a deep red, and once again, there is that flash of panic in their eyes, before they blurt out "Sirius... Black."

"Oh."

Of course, Remus thinks, wondering how she missed it before. She knows exactly who Sirius is, or who they used to be — she'd seen this face a million times before; a younger, smoother version with fewer sharp angles and without the haunted look in their bloodshot eyes, but the very same face was once plastered all over Britain — on missing flyers, in front page news, later on wanted posters... 10.000 galleons are a fine bit of money for a head like this. She gives the stranger a sideways glance, and they glare right back at her, with a defiant expression that might have betrayed their famous origins, even without the esteemed family name. The Blacks, they do all look the same...

"Well, that answers the question whether you're a muggle" Sirius remarks with a bitter chuckle. "Look, I know what you're thinking. And yes, they do have the funds, but just so we are clear on this, if you move to draw, I'll attack you, and it's gonna be over before you ever reach your wand. You will lose, most likely die, and then I'll have to spend this lovely evening digging a hole for you in the woods instead of sharing a bottle of crappy wine. So, just don't, okay?"

Remus can't help but admire the kid's bravado — they aren't stupid, she can tell that much, if from nothing else, the fact that they somehow successfully evaded one of the most powerful magical families, and their countless footmen, for over three years without ever leaving a trace; and yet, they seem to know when they're outmatched.

"Who says I'd need to draw?" she smirks, hoping to provoke a quick duel out of the youth. She likes to get the power-struggle out of the way early on, just so nobody gets ideas while she's sleeping or in recovery. The young Black might turn out to be a reluctant ally, but they could mean real trouble after the full moon, if they were to follow family tradition in wanting to rid the world of a monster like herself. Three days left until the next transformation, which means she's at the height of her power, so taking Sirius out here and now would be the wisest, and she thinks she could do it without harming them too badly. Nothing she couldn't fix in a blink afterwards.

Sirius measures her with a curious squint, slowly raising their left hand into the air. All five fingers are adorned with a variety of silver rings, from plain, thin bands to heavy signets with rune-engraved stones. A web of glowing lines flare up on the back of their hand, spreading out from an intricate magic sigil on their wrist. They emit a faint, blueish white light, running along each finger to the tip, as Sirius charges up for a wandless spell. Flashy, but creative, Remus thinks, truly impressed for the first time. She's used to wizards relying on their wands to do the work for them, and she knows seven different ways to dismantle the connection before they ever get to fire off. The stranger's magic is different — it's raw and unpolished, but brutally powerful, and very complex, in a geometric sort of way. This would be more difficult than she initially thought, and she's unsure if she could immediately disarm Sirius without having to literally dis-arm them.

To avoid confrontation, she raises a hand in front of her too, conjuring a harmless little will-o-whisp in her palm — a trick she developed as a child, tied up on the bare cement floor of her parents' basement, waiting for the curse to take hold. There was no light in the basement; she was lonely, cold and terrified, so she made herself a friend, a cold flame to keep her company while she was waiting for the moon.

Sirius' eyebrows disappear somewhere under their tangled fringe, but their face lights up with a huge, mischievous grin:

"Remus, the girl raised by the wolves... You're not boring at all, are you?"

#the rest is history #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #fanfiction #wandering witch meets wondering bitch #trans!remus #trans!sirius #fanart #long post #julien draws

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thebraingremlinsaremad · 3 years ago

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Daily Blog #15: August 22, 2021

Dollar Tree is honestly pretty fucking awesome 👌👌👌

I set my alarm for like 6:25 this morning, but it took 6 minutes for the "Horsin' Around" theme song instrumental to wake me up. I was pretty tired lol. I just dismissed it and went back to sleep.

I only went back to sleep because I knew I had another alarm set for 7:00. That got me up.

I should mention that this was still in the RV over an hour away from the house.

After I got up, I went to go get a shower, and did so successfully.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten my brush this time and had to do it afterwards after my hair had a bit of time to dry, which did make it a little more difficult lol.

I got dressed and grabbed my stuff, putting it into my car.

I made it a point to see and say "see you later" to my grandparents before I left for the flea market.

My dad insisted that I stayed to say goodbye to my mom, so I left.

I did NOT have cell service up there, as was mentioned in my previous 2 blogs of which I could only post today, so finding my way was a tiny bit difficult until I got some service to ask Google to take me to "...".

It worked and I got there.

On my drive, I listened to 1 by Simple Kid, a CD I had previously purchased at a Dollar Tree location.

I got a call from the guy at the flea market saying that I had some people there waiting for me. He asked how far away I was, to which I said "about 10 minutes." Ironically, that call made me miss my exit, as Google couldn't talk during the call, and added about 3 minutes to my arrival time lmao.

I did sell the Xbox that he said someone was interested in. I got $40 for it. I spent 27¢ on it. Pretty good return if you ask me.

I couldn't sell it with anything other than a power cord because the controller and AV cables I had been using to play it there were for my personal console. I'm just glad I can actually hook my Xbox up and stop having to drag them to the flea market along with a small library of games.

Not too long after I sold the Xbox, someone came in and asked if I wanted to see some electronics he had in his car. I went out with him. It was a pair of 3ft speakers and a Pioneer audio system with dual cassette decks (although neither of them works) and a 25 Disc CD-changer, as well as the standard AM/FM tuner. Additionally, there was a Fisher amplifier and AM/FM tuner as well as a Fisher Direct Drive turntable. He said he wanted $60 for em, but before that he casually, and probably accidentally, dropped that he was just gonna take em to the thrift store.

Big mistake.

I got em for $35 lmao. THERE GOES MOST OF MY PROFIT.

Oh well.

I tested everything. As I mentioned, the cassette decks don't work, but everything else does apart from the turntable needing a new stylus.

I posted some new photos of the shop to Facebook, and someone soon DMed me about a stereo system.

I priced everything, and it turns out I have about $300 worth of equipment from that deal, the Fisher amp and tuner being worth about $150.

The buyer will hopefully show up next weekend, for he wants to buy the Fisher stuff ($185 with the turntable), the 3ft speakers, an 8-track deck, and a Kenwood deck we've had for a week or two.

The speakers are listed for $50 (and are worth around $100-150), the Kenwood Deck for $50 as well, and the 8-track for $35. That makes it about $320 in equipment. Since he's buying so much, I'll knock it down to $270 and essentially give him the speakers or cassette deck for free lol.

Apart from that stuff, not much happened at the flea market. I sold some records, cassettes, CDs and I think 2 DVDs. One person bought a VHS tape? That money was the other guy's though. Oh well xD.

I can't say that I didn't miss my wonderful partner while on the trip. I actually brought along the stuffed animal they gave me (who's name is Greg) and snuggled with him both nights.

I was very happy to hear from them UwU.

They let me rant and I let them rant.

I honestly give them too much responsibility over me xD. I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna do this. HOLD ME TO IT."

I know I can't hold myself to anything I personally say (this blog being the only exception apparently), but I listen to them pretty well I think 🤔. If they tell me, "No, you don't need that VCR," so long as it's not some weird specialty thing, like a worldwide VCR 🥵, I'll be like "Yeah, you rite bro."

I love you man xD. You control my craziness pretty well. I'm so thankful for you UwU.

#relationshipgoals

So part way through the flea market day, I went over to Dollar Tree to buy some snack, but ended up looking through the CDs to see if there was anything good. I took photos of about 18 CDs and flipped through them online for the remainder of the flea market day.

I deleted the photos of the ones I didn't want and kept those that I liked. Surprisingly, I ended up buying 13 CDs there, but not before dropping them on the floor like the dumbass I am.

Also, sorry for all the nerd shit I spilled on your lap earlier. No one cares about amps and tuners xD.

I'M LISTENING TO ONE OF THE DOLLAR TREE CDS RIGHT NOW THO.

I already transferred over to my online library on iBroadcast and put the disc into my CD changer, which is now holding 164 CDs.

Its max capacity is 300 discs 🥵

WHY AM I NERD

Oh well

I like being a nerd gurl

Also maybe a technosexual 👀

I get really excited over some electronics. Like. REALLY excited.

Some editing VCRs are like "Holy shit that is SEXY. Look at those goddamn VU meters 🥵. And hhhh there are like 7 inputs on this thing and individual controls for left and right audio gain, not to mention Hi-Fi S-VHS recording. Hhhhhhhhhhh please gimme 😭. Why are you so expensive?"

I uh, mean, uh, *cough* look, pretty lights.

Oh yeah, I was gonna say the album I was listening to xD. MAN I GOT SIDETRACKED.

It's 37 Everywhere by Punchline. Def give it a listen; it's pretty heccin good.

Another notable album I picked up was Page One by Steven Page. I very much like the first track, "A New Shore." It's quite catchy and he has a great voice imo.

Also at dollar tree, I bought a regular bag of Fieras and 2 bags of Fieras Sticks, which were marked down to 75¢/bag because they're expiring soon.

I honestly like the generic Dollar Tree version of Takis more than actual Takis. They're a lot more flavorful when it comes to the lime, but also hotter at the same time.

Don't get the hot nacho ones tho. Hot nacho? More like hot pile of shit.

HAH

Goteem.

They're not that good xD.

THE REGULAR ONES ARE FIRE THO

"How do you do fellow kids?"

I got home and started working on putting the CDs onto my computer, and then onto iBroadcast, but not without first adding The Music Man to my digital library, something I had neglected for a month or two. The CD had just been sitting there lol.

I also switched my digital file for "The Black Parade" to that of the uncensored CD, which I had purchased before I event started working over 2 months ago.

MAN I'M LAZY

I eventually get around to shit tho lol. I guess it's just a matter of priority.

What usually takes priority is digging through everything to find something that I forgot about but then remembered, making a mess in the process that I would then have to clean up, at least partially.

I think the album just ended. I've been writing for a while xD. I'ma start "I Made You Something" by The Island of the Misfit Toys.

I'll tell you where that album came from in a minute.

In the meantime, where was I?

I kinda lost my train of thought despite reading up to see where I was. Oh well. On I go.

I ate dinner and kept working on those CDs, eventually putting my clothes from the week into the washer.

I FORGOT TO PUT MY SHAPING UNDERWEAR IN. FUCKING HELL MAN.

I wanted to wash em for this week 😭

No tight pants for Leonna I guess qwq.

Meanwhile, the box of my CD album cases is overflowing. I need another box.

I keep all of the album artworks in a big CD folder. That's almost full.

I wanna fill my entire CD changer. That's one of my big goals in life. Idk why, but I just wanna legitimately fill the entire thing.

My clothes are in the dryer now. I don't think I have the time (or energy) to fold them tonight. I'll leave that for tomorrow morning before work.

And God. Fucking. Damnit. I start school again on Wednesday. NOT looking forward to that, and neither are my 2 coworkers. We already have low enough staff, but only the two of them working is gonna be a pain in the ass.

I'll still work Saturdays.

I need to contact my guidance counselor to get out of the gym class I signed up for. I scheduled this shit before I found out I was trans, and I don't wanna deal with the fucking locker room situation 🙄 I have far more important matters.

Okay so anyway, the album I'm listening to came from a cassette. I bought this cassette a few months ago at the flea market along with a few others. The reason I bought them? They were all newer cassette releases from the 2010's, and they're all actually pretty good music from very indie bands.

Currently getting mad at iBroadcast's compression algorithm. It's unnaturally fucking anything over -10db up. Oh well, there's not really anything I can do about it.

I have like 13GB of music on my phone btw. That's about 3.5k songs on 268 albums.

I'm kind of an audiophile, but I'm too cheap to pay for a lossless service. Oh well.

They do actually have a lossless service on iBroadcast, but once again, too cheap.

Someone just sent me a friend request who legitimately posted that BLM and the democratic party are hate groups.

BLOCK.

Goodbye ho.

I don't get that. They call the democratic party a hate group when they hate people like me, and I, being more of a democrat although not fully because the 2-party system is fucked, think nothing more of them than they're very wrong about certain things, especially, as shown, that black people, as well as asian, Indian, native, and people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, are not equal to white people.

Yeh.

Totally.

You go buddy.

Anyway, yeah, I can, and do, convert music and video from analog formats to digital files in order for me to archive and listen to whenever and wherever I please. I've actually made a bit of a business out of it, but I don't get too much work from it. At least I'm not overloading myself xD.

I honestly have so much more to say, but I should probably go to sleep soon.

A few final shoutouts to the following people and companies:

-Dollar Tree

-Steven Page

-Broken World Media

-The Island of Misfit Toys

-Simple Kid

-Punchline

-My incredible partner QwQ I love you so much. Thanks for being the best all the time. I hope I can give you the best life ever.

Anyway I suppose this is goodnight. Lmk if you want a full list of the CDs I bought today! I'll link that song by Steven Page here.

And here's a good song from Simple Kid

I really like music lol. Enjoy these pieces.

Anyway, goodnight lol.

Lots of love,

-Leonna.

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esc-is-holding-me-hostage · 4 years ago

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Sometime in March I've started writing a long-ass post about my opinions on each entry this year. Aaaand then I've decided to procrastinate on it for almost two months. Anyway, rehearsals are in full swing already so let me share some quick-fire thoughts at least. 1. Albania There's no shortage of powerful vocalists in Albania, huh? 2. Australia I kiiinda like it but I wish that I liked it more. 3. Austria It's allright. 4. Azerbaijan It's the same song as the last year but for some reason I like Cleopatra 2 Electric Boogaloo more. Also, why the fuck do the last 20 seconds sound like they're from the Hades soundtrack? 5. Belgium Belgium can keep sending these moody, dark songs every year and I'll eat them up every time and ask for more. 6. Bulgaria It sounds like a very pleasant nothing 7. Croatia My favorite "female bop" song this year 8. Cyprus Don't worry it's not JUST another Fuego clone. This time they're copying Lady Gaga's homework too! 9. Czech Republic Seems to be kinda underrated for some reason 10. Denmark Out of all 80s-inspired entries this year Øve os på hinanden feels the most authentic, I'll give them that 11. Estonia Wow, Estonia grew all the way from painfully mediocre in 2020 to regular mediocre in 2021. 12. Finland Adorable. Fucking nu-metal with the authentic "I'm 14 and I hate everything except Linkin Park" lyrics and delivery. Just *chef's kiss*, thank you, Finland, every bit of it is hilarious and I love it. 13. France Compared to their last year's entry, it's almost aggressively French 14. Georgia D-did they put Tornike on Xanax for You? The dude looks fucking sedated. 15. Germany Why did no one tell me that Pewdiepie has made a song for that new Spongebob movie?/s 16. Greece Not a big fan of the chorus, but the rest of the song is kinda cool.17. Iceland Gonna agree with general consensus here: still very good but not as memorable as their 2020 entry. 18. Ireland Well, at least it's not as dated as Lesley's song from last year 19. Israel The revamped version of Set Me Free sounds more like a DJ-remix from the Deluxe-edition of an album than an actual song. At least Eden looks like she really enjoys singing, which is always good. 20. Italy Zitti E Buoni is my favorite song this year, I'm just gonna say it. The only downsides are the repetitive chorus and that my fingers are too clumsy to play it on bass q_q 21. Latvia Someone, please tell Samanta that "I'm the baddest bitch here" is a totally valid genre and she doesn't need to masquerade her songs as some grand all-women empowerment anthems 22. Lithuania Eh, it's not as good as On Fire. Also, why is their backing dancer is wearing a sailor-fuku and where can I get one? 23. Malta Parov Stelar's cover of Toy sounds great, amiright? It's kind of a wast of Destiny's voice though. Give the song to a weaker vocalist and it'll work just as fine 24. Moldova I hate that I like Sugar as much as I do. It's the drop, it kinda slaps. 25. North Macedonia It surely does sound like a song from a Disney musical 26. Norway Fallen Angel is such a normal, inoffensive, cheesy song but TIX's egregiously gaudy outfit really elevates it 27. Poland The Ride is ok if derivative but Rafal seems like a fucking charisma black hole. Which is weird, because this guy is a TV-show host. 28. Portugal It's allright. Will probably forget about it 5 minutes after the contest ends 29. Romania Alcohol You was one of my favourite songs last year, but I really don't care about Amnesia. Maybe the lyrics don't click with me, I dunno. 30. Russia Manizha has such an amazing stage presence it's insane. The song is not neccessarily my cup of tea but as long as it's not a typical Russian ESC entry I'll take it. 31. San Marino Best Summarinise entry since Vola, I'm just gonna say it. Flo Rida's presence on ESC can set a bad precedent, though, but it's also so surreal that I'm not even angry. 32. Serbia Very tacky, very 2000's, very much should not be my thing. Why can't I stop listening to it? 33. Slovenia Great voice, meh song, that's it. 34. Spain Why

does it sound to me like a fucking Argonavis song? You know, that anime band? 35. Sweden One time. One single time in years Sweden chooses something interesting for Eurovision and the show gets fucking cancelled. And this year they're back on their bullshit with yet another bland, safe, standard Swedish pop entry. I really don't like Voices, I'm sorry. 36. Switzerland I would've loved it Gjon's voice wasn't so high-pitched 37. The Netherlands I do respect bringing traditional elements into the song but it's not for me and was never supposed to be. 38. Ukraine Oh hey, it's my country. Shum is pretty great. It sets out to make you wanna dance in the woods, worshiping some ancient god and it achieves precisely that. 39. United Kingdom It's good. Could've done much better in a year with less upbeat songs.

#esc #eurovision #i'm done I'M FREE #esc quick reviews

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katiepage · 5 years ago

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Why William Doesn't Deserve Redemption and Why I hate William Apologists

William Afton is a nasty, nasty man. He's creepy, a murderer, an abuser, and over all a very bad person. Let's begin with the obvious, that being the fact he murdered children ages 3-10 or 11 (just an estimation. He might murder children older. We aren't quite sure, though we know he will murder adults as well) at least in the books, he murdered these kids in one of the most gruesome ways possible, that being stuffing them into suits, which he describes as follows;

“And if you trigger those spring locks, two things will happen: first the locks themselves will snap right into you, making deep cuts all over your body, and a split second later, all the animatronic parts, all that sharp steel and hard plastic will instantly be driven into your body. You will die, but it will be slow."

Mind you, this is a shortened version of the quote, cutting out the part where he talks about drowning your lungs in your own blood and that you feel every last piece pierce your organs. Even if he didn't shove them into springlock suits and just regular suits for them to suffocate, that's still fucked right up. Or let's say he did have more variety in how he killed these kids. Knowing what we know from the books about him, it still probably wouldn't be very quick since while he's killing that police officer (I forget his name) in the Silver Eyes, he breaks his arm and throws him against a wall before suffocating him. Suffocation isn't exactly my ideal way to go.

If just murdering them wasn't enough, he damns these kids to 30+ as animatronics and he makes it very clear he is aware of this. This takes an obvious toll on these kids, filling them with nothing but hatred and anger, wich mind you, is very well founded and it pisses me off when people invalidate them with "Well they did the same thing" I will admit that they have done fucked up shit and should not be immediately excused but they did not kill without reason. Put yourselves in their shoes. They can't remember their names, what they looked like, or even their own voice. All they are now are these animatronics who once brought them joy. Perhaps that's why characters like Cassidy and the Puppet have so much more pure hatred and ill will towards William. They remember who they were and their lives before this. The thought of their families missing them, friends mourning them, and the fact that they'll probably never made it any further than grade school haunts them. It torments them for ever second they're forced to keep going. Wich is why it pisses me off when these characters get shipped with William/Springtrap. Not only is it pedophillia, it also has 0 chance of turning out anything but abusive on both ends.

Back to William, he doesn't feel a shred of guilt for these actions. The only reason he would care is when it costs him his own children, wich segways into my next point.

William is an abusive parent, and yes, neglect is a form of abuse. Let's start with Elizabeth since we arguably know the most about her. William ignores her to focus on Baby, which causes Elizabeth to be jealous and desperate for her father's attention and judging by what she does later on in life to obtain that, imagine what she could've done while she was alive to get him to notice her. She was absolutely 100% ready to kill her brother for the second time just to make William proud even though she has the mental capacity of a fucking six year old, not to mention that she was definitely responsible for at least a few of the in game lawsuits. The fact that her dad couldn't give like, three minutes out of his day to spend time with and show love to his daughter and that he seemingly was more in love with a robot to the point where it literally drove her fucking bat shit insane, should be enough said but then I remember that Lizzy isn't an only child.

The crying child, Chris, Kenny, Calvin, whatever you call him, seems to suffer the same neglect as Elizabeth. William doesn't seem to notice, or perhaps just doesn't care, that his brother is tormenting him. Hell, William is IN the restaurant on the kid's birthday and is too focused on work to intervene when his brother shoves him into Fredbear and he believes that Fredbear "ate him" further showing that William is insane and possibly just a bit stupid regarding anything but robotics.

And whether or not you believe Mike is the crying child or the bully, this still applies and thus is not very relevant to the conversation but Mike went through some rough treatment none the less. He got sent on a suicide mission to save Elizabeth and got stuck with his dad's dirty work. I admittedly don't know much about Mike so I'll stop there before I make a fool of myself.

I wouldn't be so angry about this if people didn't say shit like "The kids should at least try to get to know him before killing him" or "He's just saaad" I. Don't. Give. A. Fuck. He killed these kids and knowingly let them suffer. Susie was grieving, vulnerable, and like six years old. Afton took advantage of that to lead her off. Imagine how happy she was to think her puppy wasn't dead and was waiting for her in that back room. Should she have known better? Probably but kids aren't the smartest creatures on this planet. Charlotte was a smiley happy little girl. She got locked outside and was probably scared half to death. William could have very easily targeted her.

That's why I hate William Apologists. They don't seem to understand that William doesn't care about what he's done. He's not sorry and he probably never will be. They're the reason why I found it so satisfying when Cassidy trapped him forever in Hell. To see a character respond with such feral rage and pure intent to put him in the ground helps to cleanse my soul of years of arguing with people about Willy A.

In conclusion, this kinda reminds me of the true crime community and it hurts. Please stop defending this man. I get feeling sorry for him but excusing his actions is such a shitty way to totally disregard the people he hurt. If you must write a William redemption ark, remember, ten years for every murder is the only valid thing to do at this point.

#fivenightsatfreddy's #fivenightsatfreddysfanart #cassidy #fnaf #circus baby #elizabeth afton #william afton #fnaf rant #rantings #rant #charlotte emily #charlotte #the puppet #michael afton #mike afton #chris afton #fnaf 4 child

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luminescentauthor · 4 years ago

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Sora/Tobi Getting Together and Relationship Headcanons

THEY’RE HEEEEEERREEEE! Maybe Tobi will finally leave me alone now and stop taking up my whole brain.

Please read this post or this won’t make sense, it’s HCs about their third year. There’s also a part two that you don’t need to read, since everything you need is in part one. (U can if u want to tho.)

(If you don’t want to, basically all you need to know is: Nao, Sora, Tobi, and Mokichi are on first-name basis since the end of second year; Sora and Tobi have had a running prank war since the end of their first year and everyone on the team hates them because of it; Sora is captain, Mokichi is vice. Oh also Tobi’s aunt is awesome and she stormed into his parents’ house in Hiroshima to yell at them for being terrible parents. Tobi didn’t find out for the longest time.)

This is some 10-ass pages so headcanons below the cut!

This. Is. So much more chaotic than my Sora/Nao HCs. Prepare for disaster gays, very tired and very exasperated queer parent friend Momoharu, very very tired Mokichi, "usually a functional bi but the second you involve emotions he becomes a grade-a disaster bisexual" Tobi, Sora struggling to deal with "OH shit I'm gay," and "bows to absolutely no one and done with everyone and everything 24/7" Nanao Nao. This version of Nao is so much more of a tired badass than Sora/Nao's Nao, who stays more true to her canon self.

It's also twice as long. Yeet.

Tobi and Sora have had growing feelings since their first year and Mokichi and Nao are fucking suffering with these stupid gays.

They were friends at first, and it really was just pure platonic feelings. It started to turn into something more a little after the first Taiei game, but Sora is shy and a certified disaster and Tobi is way too emotionally constipated for either of them to do anything about it.

Tobi I love you but you're a fucking mess.

Tobi actually got kicked out by his "father" in large part for being bisexual, and therefore wants absolutely nothing to do with growing feelings for tiny cute short teammate, nope nope no thank you-

But basically, Tobi has known he's bi for a while now, and while he's having some acceptance problems, he's not having the "OH GOD I'M GAY" panic

Sora has not known, and he's having a panic in the background because "I'm attracted to guys?!"

Sora starts realizing what's going on some time in second year, and Momoharu takes one look at the panicking Sora and goes "aight the fuck happened to you?"

You will have to pry their friendship from my cold dead hands and I'm not sorry. I love Momoharu and Sora's dynamic.

Sora eventually confesses to Momoharu (after a lot of prodding) that he thinks he's turning gay, and Momoharu immediately starts laughing. Sora, hurt and feeling very stupid, goes to run, but Momoharu tugs him back down to sit and tells him, "Jesus, Sora, you don't turn gay. You either identify as gay or you don't. Sorry for scaring you, the concept of turning gay is just... oddly funny. Don't worry about it dude, I'm pansexual."

"...Pansexual?" Sora asks nervously.

"Yup, I'm attracted to all people regardless of gender. Men, women, people who don't fit either -- I don't much care. Gender doesn't really factor into whether or not I'm attracted to people."

"You can be attracted to multiple genders?" Sora asks, eyes wide.

Oh boy, Momoharu thinks. Poor kid. "Yeah, folks who are attracted to just men and women are called bisexual. Homosexual is the official word for those who are only attracted to their own gender, but gay or lesbian is usually used. Heterosexual is for those only attracted to the opposite gender. Of course, the lines aren't as clear set as those labels suggest they are. Sexuality is fucky, dude. Don't worry about not having it figured out. I only decided on a label a few months back, myself. Some people just choose not to label it at all."

That makes Sora feel better, and he takes to talking to Momoharu about it quite a bit.

At one point, Sora brings up how the team would react, especially since they share a locker room. Momoharu just gives him a deadpan look and then says in the flattest voice ever, "Wow, imagine being so insecure in your masculinity that you can't share a changing room with a gay man." That gets a laugh out of Sora and makes him feel a lot better.

As it turns out, this was word for word Chiaki's reaction to Momoharu being nervous about coming out to the team back in their first year.

It is also, word for word, Chiaki's response to Sora coming out to him going "I'm sorry I hope this doesn't make things awkward-"

Momoharu laughs hysterically when Chiaki pulls the exact same face he did and says in the exact same deadpan tone, "Wow, imagine being so insecure in your masculinity that you can't share a changing room with a gay man." Sora also stares at Chiaki for about ten seconds in silence, then doubles over laughing. Chiaki is so confused until Momoharu explains.

However, this does mean that Momoharu has to deal with the brunt of Sora's "TOBI DID A THING HOLY SHIT" rants for the rest of the year, even though he denies that Tobi is the one he was attracted to if ever asked.

Momoharu, rubbing his forehead: Chiaki the baby gays are being stupid what do I do

Chiaki: I'm a straight so unfortunately I don't think I can help here?

Momoharu: Ugggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Tobi is freaking out in the background because "oh no gay feelins oh no soft feelins fuck what do I do????"

His aunt: Kid, please calm down, you'll be fine.

Tobi, putting a groove in the floor with his pacing: NO I WON'T WHA' IF 'E FINDS OUT WHAT IF THIS RUINS THA TEAM DYNAMIC WHAT IF 'E 'ATES ME-

Accent go yeet when upset!

She holds him while he panics and lets him curl into her, and then makes his favorite foods and puts on a movie and cuddles with him, and once he's asleep, she calls her brother-in-law with every intent of murder because how dare you make this child feel so unloved?

Anyway, Tobi eventually comes to accept himself and his sexuality in full thanks to her, the team, and Juri. It's primarily just a thing of time and needing to have more conversations where he's open about it and accepted by people he cares about.

Poor Sora still isn't totally comfortable with being gay? And a month or so into his third year, he comes out to Nao and later Mokichi. They make him feel much better, but the final piece is actually Tobi himself. Tobi finds Sora having a breakdown in the locker rooms and holds him to help him calm down and pushes him to talk about it, and Sora finally tells Tobi he's queer.

And Tobi, having been through this struggle before, just kind of pulls him into a hug and says, "Well, tha' makes two o' us" and Sora goes "wHAT" and Tobi tells him he's bisexual. Tobi does not pry about who made Sora realize he's queer, because it's personal and touchy, and he respects that.

That does, however, extend the mutual bullshit period.

But also:

Sora: oH MY GOD HE'S GAY HE'S GAY HE'S GAY I'M-

Tobi: 'E's. 'E's Bi. Deep breaths deep breaths deep breaths just don' panic and ask 'im out that's a bad plan-

Tobi that's actually how you deal with romantic feelings like a functional human being but sure, go off.

Tobi comes out to Nao and Mokichi with Sora's support shortly after that, and their reactions are, respectively: "NICE!" "Cool." and then Nao tackles Tobi in a hug that is the start of a big grouphug.

There's lots of hugging and crying (the latter is Nao and Sora and a little bit of Mokichi), and Tobi will vehemently deny that he cried at all, but a few tears got out.

(Lbr Tobi's gay pining for Sora was Not Subtle, so they already knew, but they don't tell him that for a while. When they do tell him, he's gotten to the point where he just stares at them blankly for a moment and then groans rather than flipping out. Mokichi chuckles quietly and Nao just outright laughs at him.)

But anyway, both of these Absolute Idiots are still crushing on each other, and everyone is suffering.

Actually, scratch "crushing,” it's moved into full-blown pining now.

Sora eventually also accepts that, alright, he has a big crush on Tobi. Tobi, their ace. Tobi, one of his best friends. Tobi, one of the best wings in all of Japan. Tobi, who is ridiculously attractive. Tobi, who looks like an actual bush when he doesn't tie his hair back somehow, because his hair is insanely (and adorably) frizzy and voluminous. Tobi, who will whoop at the top of his lungs and grin like a maniac because he just pulled off a fantastic drive and double-clutch, even though he's exhausted and soaked in sweat and they're four minutes into overtime. Tobi, who makes the cutest face with the sweetest smile Sora has ever seen when he talks to his sister. (Tobi, who is a boy, and Sora has stopped caring.)

Sora even stops denying that he likes Tobi after a little bit, and Momoharu is just in the background going, "good job, it only took you two entire years to figure that out."

Sora: LEAVE. ME. ALONE.

Momoharu: Okay but have you considered: No. Absolutely not.

Anyway Tobi mostly complains/gay rants to Nao and sometimes Mokichi, and at this point, even Juri is slightly sick of her brother talking about "our amazin' point guard." Yer not subtle, Anchan????

Except it eventually moves from "wow he's amazin' but NO I do not 'ave a crush on 'im" to "oh my God I am SO gay," and then later it moves to a more resigned gay panic. ("Nnnnnnghhhhh I nearly fuckin' kissed 'im after practice today what do I do-")

Nao is trying to bully both of them into confessing, but neither will take the first step, not because of pride, but because they're scared. (Nao is. So. Done. Even if she sympathizes, it has been two years of this bullcrap please-)

Tobi, especially, is afraid of losing everything again after his nasty stepdad booted him out.

Sora is like "that is one of my closest friends, and given this team's stability record I am Not Poking That Mess With A Long Stick."

Momoharu, who is the one he says this to, is just kinda like, "Yeah I can't really argue with that, as much I want you to confess."

Nao, later, having been subjected to a similar rant, after he said "closest friend" instead of "a dude": HE'S GROWING UP KANAME-KUN I'M TEARING UP-

Mokichi is far too tired of everything to interfere, which is fair.

Juri badgers Tobi for a solid four weeks before he admits what's really going on, and then it kind of all comes spilling out, and she encourages him to confess to Sora, but he's still reluctant.

Nao also bluntly says, "Kenji-kun's family abandoned him, Sora-kun, and it may be because he's the words ‘problem child' given physical form, but it may be because he's queer. If you want to work this out, I think you'll need to take the first step."

(Tobi told the team about his past late first year/early second year. Crying happened and everyone basically group-tackle-hugged Tobi, and he finally got the hugs he very much needed and definitely deserved.)

And Sora angsts over that for a while until Chiaki very simply says, "Do you want things between the two of you to change?" And Sora realizes that yes, he does, he doesn't want things to stay the same, he wants to hold Tobi's hand and go on dates and call each other at weird hours for the sake of it and hold each other until they fall asleep and kiss him and -- well, you get the idea.

So he works up the courage, and it's one night some months before the national tournament when Sora asks Tobi to stay behind with him for extra practice. Sora is really nervous, and Tobi is like "??? Sure? Are ya okay?"

Sora, voice cracking: yEaH I'M FINE

Anyway, Sora misses like a solid sixty percent of his shots that practice and Tobi is. So confused.

Tobi to Mokichi: Did. Did somethin' happen.

Mokichi just shrugs, which does not make Tobi feel better.

So Tobi stays behind all the others to talk with Sora, and they're both really nervous. Obviously, Sora is about to confess, and Tobi is just so confused, and also some small part of him is going, "oh God did he figure out I like 'im????"

Nao and Mokichi kicked all the first and second years out after just an hour of individual practice, and Sora is grateful but also, "guys please don't make me confront my problems."

Nao: "Sora-kun if we waited for you to deal with this we'd be here 'till sunrise."

Mokichi, tiredly: "No, we'd be here until we turned old and gray."

Sora asks Tobi to sit with him while blushing, and Tobi complies, still very puzzled.

They make small talk for a minute, and then Sora abruptly says, "Kenji-kun... I... I think I have a crush on you".

Tobi gapes at him like a fish, opening and closing his mouth for a solid minute, and eventually, Sora.exe unfreezes and goes, "Sorry, I-" and Tobi just goes, "Fer real? Ya aren't prankin' me again?" in a surprisingly quiet voice.

And Sora is mildly offended but knows that's a fair assumption given their track record of prank wars, and he also almost wants to use the excuse Tobi has handily provided, but he just stands and goes "I'm sorry, I should leave-"

And Tobi leaps to his feet, grabs his hand, and says flat out, "Sora, I've 'ad a crush on ya since first year."

And Sora just kinda… short circuits. "Wait, really?"

Tobi just kinda rubs the back of his neck (shyly? Tobi gets shy?) and goes, "Yeah, I... I kinda only admitted it in tha middle a' second year, though."

And Sora says slowly, "You... you like me. You like me!" He laughs, relieved. "Holy shit, I was so scared you were going to reject me and it was going to ruin everything--"

And Tobi is just going oh my God, he's adorable, I can't deal with him, and takes Sora's chin in one hand and asks quietly, "Sora, can I kiss ya?" Sora's eyes, predictably, go wide, and he nods. (And please take a moment to recall and appreciate the fact that Tobi is canonically an entire foot taller than Sora. Sora is 149 cm (4'10.7) and Tobi is 178 (5'10.1). This is fantastic because I will bet actual money that this height difference has not shrunk; if anything, it has grown.)

They kiss just as the entire team bursts into the gym. Turns out, they were watching the whole thing, and honestly, none of them look that ashamed; they put up with the pair's bullshit for this long, they're invested now, and they deserved to know what happened.

"ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, THIS IS REVENGE FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS OF USELESS GAY PINING," Nao yells. "KANAME-KUN, EVERYONE -- GRAB THEM!"

And the team lifts the yelling and protesting couple above their heads as Sora loudly objects and Tobi swears at them. The first years learn some creative new insults. The second and third years, on the other hand, are very accustomed to Tobi by this point, and aren't remotely surprised, but -- oh, haven't heard that one before, actually, says a second year. The others mutter assent.

We have, Mokichi grouches. We third years have heard them all.

Sora is small and easily hauled around, and Tobi is also pretty helpless when being held up above the heads of Mokichi and their first-year center. So they can’t really like... do anything about being dragged around.

Nao leads the team forward like an army, and they march to the pool to drop the two of them in, and when they resurface, fully clothed and soaked to the bone, Sora is laughing hysterically. (Assume Sora learned to swim at some point.)

Tobi is groaning, but he's grinning, and he swims over to the side of the pool -- and grabs Nao and Mokichi's ankles and drags them in, both of them yelling.

And Sora thinks, with Nao yelling in irritation but a sparkle in her eyes and a grin she's failing to fight off, with Mokichi laughing quietly as he flings his wet bangs out of his eyes, with Tobi laughing hysterically, his hair slicked back by water, with the four of them wearing all of their clothes and soaked to the bone, their entire team yanking off their shirts to jump into the pool with them and the moon and stars shining overhead, that he's never been happier.

And Tobi turns to him and grins, and Sora can't keep himself from jumping at Tobi -- who catches him, startled -- and kissing him again.

And, like, hey, Tobi isn't about to complain.

They take about two months to settle into things, and then it's just like... I'm sorry, who thought letting Kurumatani "Embodiment of Chaos" and Natsume "Biggest Problem Child Ever" Kenji date was a good idea?????

It's a bit awkward for a while because they're still feeling things out and figuring out what they're both comfortable with, but then they finally click, and it's... pure fucking chaos.

Sora will not stop stealing Tobi's clothes and Tobi is not happy about it, mostly because -- Sora, if ya keep stealin' my clothes while I am in the changin' room, then I do not 'ave clothes to wear ya stupid chibi--

Tobi has stormed into the gym shirtless at least twice yelling, "SORA! GIVE BACK MY FUCKIN' SHIRT!"

Listen. Listen we have a total of three scenes of Tobi being shirtless, and two of them were in front of plenty of people. Tobi is many things, but body shy is not one of them. He wouldn't care.

(Post-Kitasumi loss, post-Shinjo loss, and that one scene of him dribbling in a park or something at night with an audience. The night before they played Taiei.)

Tobi: Are ya ever jus' tryin' to figure out where all yer clothes have gotten ta and then ya turn ‘round and see 'em all on yer dumbass tiny boyfriend?

Sora, clearly utterly unapologetic, wearing Tobi's sweatshirt: Oops.

Chiaki, probably: SOME OF US ARE SINGLE STOP RUBBING IT IN.

As mentioned before, Sora is canonically 149 cm (~4'10.7), and Tobi is 178 cm (~5'10.1). There's a 29-centimeter difference, almost an entire foot, and frankly, that difference has grown a few centimeters, and you bet Tobi is going to abuse the shit out of this.

He literally holds things Sora wants over Sora's head all the time and Sora hates it. Like yes, Tobi did this before they dated too, but now Tobi is doing it more just to be annoying. It's also the only way Tobi can keep his clothes out of Sora's hands whenever they aren't on Tobi's person. (It's kind of hard to steal a shirt when someone is wearing it.)

"THIS IS ABUSE!"

"Me holdin' m' own jacket above m' head so that ya can't steal it from me isn't abuse, it’s self-preservation! It’s like -20 degrees out there, Sora, use yer own jacket!"

I personally headcanon Tobi shooting up like a weed, but whether he did or not, he's probably between 180 and 190 now (5'11 and 6'3). Meanwhile, Sora is like maybe 155-60. It is possible that Sora also shoots up, but I feel like he would hit 165 at most. That would have him growing 16 cm, which is 8 inches, so. That's a lot of inches to grow in two and a half years.

The things Tobi holds above his head are mostly his own clothes and also food items, plus the occasional basketball.

He also sometimes will nab Sora's clothes and hold them up in the air just to get back at him. Sora will be leaping up in the air, trying to reach his clothes, while Tobi stands there with a shit-eating grin holding Sora's shirt over his head. It looks so stupid. Nao and Mokichi both have multiple videos of it. (Nao has like five.) (What? She suffered, alright? Let her have this blackmail, at least.)

Sora: :( My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips, what should I do?

Momoharu: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Nao: Tackle him.

Chiaki: Dump him.

Mokichi: Kick him in the shin.

Tobi: NO TO ALL A' THOSE, JUST ASK ME TA LEAN DOWN!

Nao and Mokichi and Momoharu and Chiaki and Madoka and literally all of their friends are still giving them a hard time for being useless gays and taking two and half years to deal with their feelings even five years later. They're never going to live it down.

As adults, juggling careers and their growing relationship is hard.

They both go to universities in Tokyo, thankfully, and don't have to do long distance, and get an apartment together in their third year.

Tobi probably joins the B.League, and maybe Sora does too. (I dunno, I'm not committing to anything with career HCs.)

If they do, they have to keep their relationship secret; it would be a huge deal to be gay athletes in Japan (or... anywhere.) Most of their teammates know, though. Like... Sora regularly shows up to practice in Tobi's sweatshirts.

The sexual tension whenever they play each other is intense, though.

(My pet headcanon for Tobi is actually him going to university in America and joining the NBA. While I want to do that with Sora too, the mangaka apparently turned down two anime deals because they ended with Sora in the NBA. I haven't fact-checked that, though.)

They're around 25 when the world as a whole finds out. It either comes out because one of them is like, "hey babe do ya wanna just come out? We have enough money to retire if this goes south," "Oh sure," or because they mess up so drastically that people figure it out. After all, it would take a lot to break past the "they're such good friends!" mentality of sports reporters. Like seriously. These two are not subtle. They can let heteronormativity do most of the work for them, in all honesty.

Anyway, it comes out, and the media goes into an uproar, and they retreat to visit Sora's dad in Nagano without telling anyone except their coaches and closest friends where they've holed up and just let the world burn while they enjoy tea and the view of the mountains and avoid social media like the plague.

Assuming it was planned:

Tobi, the day before coming out, on his official twitter: I'll be doing a no-electronics retreat with my partner for two weeks, so I won't be on social media. Enjoy your week!

Or possibly the way he came out, besides their official announcement on Sora's account, was just "I'll be doing a no-electronics retreat with my boyfriend, @KurumataniOfficial, for the next two weeks. Bye y'all, have a good two weeks! :)" because that has Tobi's chaotic energy.

Edit: Actually? I take that back. SORA would do that. That has SORA'S chaotic energy.

When people get homophobic, all of their friends -- high school, college, adult life -- are immediately down to throw hands.

The Japanese highschool circle of people who went professional is small and pretty close-knit, and the NBA and B.League sides are quite close to each other as well. Shiraishi and Fuwa, who are both in the NBA, both riot when people attack their old acquaintances from high school. I personally headcanon Fuwa as a raging chaotic bi, because -- hair. Yozan, for that matter, is also pretty pissed off.

Fuwa probably gets on twitter and goes, "What's this bullshit about them being gay???? Of course they're gay. Have you ever seen them interact for more than two seconds??? Are you blind??? Wait, nope. Sorry. Don't want to insult blind people. ARE YOU ACTUALLY THAT DUMB????"

Momoharu tweets," 'Wow, imagine being so insecure in your masculinity that you can't share a changing room with a gay man' --My twin Chiaki, and Sora and Tobi's HS teammate, upon them coming out in HS" and first Sora's teammates start retweeting it and then Tobi's and then every single one of both their teams’ members retweets it. It's fantastic.

Then Shiraishi (who, again, is in the NBA) retweets it, and it goes completely viral. Chiaki is so happy but also really pissed that it's Momoharu's account.

Momoharu ribs him about it for a solid three weeks just to be obnoxious.

There's actually no one on either of their teams that didn't already know about the relationship. Again, they're not subtle together. If there was any drama, it was presumably resolved by getting rid of the homophobe.

Anyway, so while shit hits the fan, Sora and Tobi just shelter in place and their friends all react by going to war, which both of them are a bit taken aback by, but like, they aren't complaining about it. They're both touched actually.

For marriage, honestly, neither one of them proposes in any fancy manner; they probably decided to get married because the topic comes up due to taxes. Sora goes, "Hey, do you think we should get married? The taxes would be cheaper," without really thinking about it, and Tobi goes, "Honestly, if it means everyone will stop badgerin' us about 'tyin' the knot' or whatever, I vote we elope," and that's that. Some two hours later while making dinner, Sora goes, "HOLY SHIT WAIT ARE WE ENGAGED?" and Tobi, who was reading, stares at him for three seconds, processes that, and slowly goes, "...I guess? Yeah, I guess we are. Wow. We did that."

Sora slams his head on the table and Tobi just very tiredly says, "babe, no, ya need those brain cells."

Assume gay marriage is by this point legal and accepted.

When asked how they got engaged, everyone is just like, "THAT'S SO ANTICLIMACTIC?????" This is also the media's reaction.

Interviewer: Why did you and Natsume-san decide to get married?

Sora, shrugging: Taxes are easier with your partner when you're married.

But they went to get rings together on their tenth anniversary shortly after deciding to get married, and if that isn't sappy as hell, I don't know what is.

They probably don't wait long for the wedding and don't bother making it a huge thing; they invite all their friends, hire some folks to keep the media out no matter what, and hire a few people to film it and figure they can share that footage later. ("I am not havin' the media at my weddin' that is a private event for friends and family -" "Love, I am not arguing with you, I don't want them there either???")

Nao will be best woman for one of them at the wedding, and you bet she will give them so much shit for being disasters back in high school in her speech.

Juri, who by that point is like 20 something, because the disaster gays don't get married till they're at least 28 to 30, is either Tobi's best woman or playing some significant role in the wedding. She also roasts her brother and brother-in-law.

Tobi and Juri are definitely half-siblings, just in terms of time. He looked five or six when his biodad died, and she seems about the same age, meaning there's a ten-year gap.

Also, it's implied in the manga, so.

The newly-weds are just sitting there groaning as their friends/family members roast them, but they're both grinning.

The vows are probably really, really sappy, and Tobi can claim it's Sora's fault as much as he wants, but he's honestly also kind of a sap too and all his friends know it.

Tobi's stepdad is not invited. In fact, Tobi goes out of his way to send an edited version of the invitation to him that basically says, "Wedding! You're not invited!" while Sora and Juri die of laughter in the background. His mother does come, though -- she eventually moved out following the "her younger sister stormed in boiling with righteous fury on behalf of her son" incident. While the couple never got a divorce, they haven't spoken in years.

The invitees are actually mostly friends, not family. While Sora's dad, grandma, and extended family come, Tobi's only present family are his sister, his aunt, his mother, and his biodad's brother (and the brother's wife and kids.) But they have hundreds of friends there; Nao, Mokichi, Momoharu, Chiaki, Madoka, Yasu, Chukie, Nabe, their kouhai from their second and third years, Satsuki with his wife and two kids, Shiraishi, Fuwa, Yozan, Mineta, Yakku, Nino, Tarou, both of their professional teams and all the team staff, the national team that they played with, Sakamaki, Yuka and Tomohisa’s friends, Madoka's older sister, their college teammates and classmates -- the list literally just doesn't stop. For like. Days. That guest list was the hardest part of the wedding, actually.

The symbol they use on the invitations is a dragon. Momoharu and Nao both cry when they see the nod to the Kuzuryu team. (Chiaki does not cry, he claims. Momoharu calls bullshit, and Momoharu is, for once, completely right.)

The cake has wing patterns curving up the sides; one kite wing with a healed injury, and a duck wing in front of the silhouette of an eagle wing. ("I'm sappy, Ken, sue me." "Actually, I think that's adorable, so go ahead.")

The healed injury was Tobi's idea, though. Sora was confused, but Tobi explained that Sora and Kuzuryu brought him back to basketball as a team sport, and healed him from the pain of being pushed away from his family. Sora cries.

The shadow of the eagle wing was also Tobi's idea. He says "I agree that yer a duck because I love ya to pieces but yer still short as shit-" "Oi." "-but I also think ya learned how to fly in yer own right. Swimmin' and duckin' be damned. Ya fly on the court, Sora."

Sora does not cry again. He does not. ("Sure ya didn't." "SHUT UP KEN-") (He definitely teared up a little, because Tobi is looking at him with a soft smile and the most affectionate look in his eyes, and holy shit, I love him, and I'm going to marry him????

They go to Nagano and Hiroshima to visit their parents' graves after the wedding. Both of them are sappy about it. "I wish you could have met him" speeches, basically, while the other stands out of earshot.

They then proceed to screw off to Hawaii on a honeymoon for two weeks, since it's the offseason.

Either they combine their names, or Tobi takes Sora's last name.

I feel like Tobi would, just to spite his stepdad. I'm pretty sure Natsume is his stepdad's last name, since Tobi is seen wearing a helmet that is probably his dad's in a flashback, and it has a different name on it. Might've been a company name, though. Idk.

Sora is maybe crying when they change the nameplate on their Tokyo apartment to read "Kurumatani-Natsume Sora and Kurumatani-Natsume Kenji" because "holy shit that's my fucking husband!!!!!"

And Tobi just laughs and wraps his arms around him and drags him down onto the couch to hold him, and Sora thinks that life is good. Very good.

And if Nao and Mokichi and Momoharu and Chiaki and Madoka and Juri and crew all crash their place five seconds later, well, Sora thinks, that just makes it better.

wow! if you made it through this entire thing i am grateful to you for reading! and lowkey impressed because this is almost 5000 words. see my Ahiru No Sora Headcanons tag for more! there is also a Sora/Nao relationship headcanons post.

#ahiru no sora #ahiru no sora headcanons #headcanons #kurumatani sora #natsume kenji #kurumatani sora x natsume kenji #tobisora #maybe these two nerds will finally LET ME REST IN P E A C E #go AWAY tobi jesus

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [Okay, so coach ride to the school trip moment, JJ sat together 'cos who else are you gonna sit next to tbh, all the flat whites are here and we're making Grace feel like crap in all the ways, starting with having a loud, extra phone call with Pablo rn and making Grace hear and look at all this on facetime, but literally the whole bus is bearing witness, have you no shame Mia] Jimmy: [I like to think Ella and Asia are sitting together and Ella wants to die cos Asia's so dumb and Hollie's just on her phone watching tiktoks or whatever living her best life] Janis: [a mood but not at all, lmao] Janis: [okay, so my vague idea of something JJ can do to take attention away from Mia, piss her off, but without everyone else being as anti-them as they are anti-her rn, is for Janis to text Grace like come here for a sec, but that confuses Grace (obvs) so then Janis gets up and is like I NEED TO TALK TO YOU so she gets Grace out of this hell but also Mia will be PISSED she has, let's say there's a free seat in front of JJ or whatever where they can sit and then have a whisper sesh where we pretend we're talking about Jimmy but in actuality, we're not saying much beyond, you're welcome and, go along with it] Janis: [then once this has happened, all the flat whites will be 👀 WHAT DID SHE SAY etc, and THEN JJ can be couply cute like snuggling etc now they know they're looking] Jimmy: [I stan your mind boo] Janis: [so, Mia has been pissing us all off for time but it's when she's like, forcibly trying to get Grace to talk to Pablo, Janis visibly stiffens and is like, nah] Janis: If you do me a favour right now, I'll do you two Jimmy: Alright Janis: [inact this Grace moment for a plausible amount of time for a girly chat you simply NEED to have RIGHT NOW so sorry Mia, that's probably 10-15 minutes at least you two have to sit together and talk so, if you wanna, you can be Grace for a sec and we can '-' or we can just say roughly what they'd find to talk about lol it might be amusing potentially] Jimmy changed name to Grace Janis: [after the text, coming over with such a clearly but purposely fake apologetic face like oop sorry to barge in on this phone conversation you're having so publicly 'Grace, can I borrow you for a sec?' with a kind of serious but also excited tone, like, the just-NEED-to-talk-about-this-NOW vibe] Grace: [Grace just like 'oh yeah, sure, babes' in a tone that's lowkey like anything for you anytime because 1. it'll annoy Mia 2. she literally would die for Janis and we know it, making her body language and face as excited but serious like she respects this TRUST, fuck you Mia, before throwing an apologetic look at Mia as they go so she knows it's a deliberate afterthought] Janis: [smiling at Jimmy as you sit back down, opposite/in front of him, which she doesn't smile a lot at school/ever obvs so that itself would be so strange, everything from this point essentially in a whisper/no more than a murmur so no one else can hear, which is fine 'cos object of your affection is RIGHT THERE so everyone understands the vibe without needing to hear anything 'she's a cunt' gritted teeth 'cos we're fuming about this phonecall shenanigan but then switching to a #conspiratorial 😏 look, peeping at him between the seats as if to really drive that home 'i'm gonna shit in her bed' with a grin] Grace: [so effortlessly following this that would be concerning except that we know she's living a fake life every day so it's just standard to her by this point which hurts my heart but okay Gracie 'so is he' because she's having some emotions herself about the Pablo and dad situation but we can't let them show 'totally a match made in hell' holds her face/fans it like whatever Janis is saying is making her blush and giving her like an OMG look before likewise peeping at poor Jimothy but deliberately less subtly because everyone expects her to be that bitch/the friend who turns around when you tell 'em not to 'IOU if you need a lookout or whatever, but I'd hate to tread on barista boy's toes so' looks at him again and smiles herself] Janis: [nodding, really to agree with that sentiment, but making it look as if she's admitting to something like okay, you got me and hiding her own face in her hands like we're so 🤭 'hope he knocks up Asia' when you've said it just to be a bitch and because you're angry but the obvious parallel to what Caleb and Drew actually did to Ali and Carly does not escape you so you shake your head now and then lean in further, saying 'WELL-' at a louder, potentially overhearable volume, as if you're about to spill the ACTUAL tea 'nah, don't worry about it, long as she gets hers'] Grace: [when you sigh because you're so sad and over everything tbh and the reminder of both deadbeat dads doesn't help but you turn it into an excited gasp before it's even out of your mouth properly because that's something you're used to with all these shit lads, likewise the fake facial expressions are so on point as you pretend you're getting that tea and say something loud like OMG because you're obvs so excited you can't help it and do a fake look around like oh I hope nobody heard that 'he's already given her an STI, but you obviously didn't hear that from me' spills actually tea because we're sad and mad rn like] Janis: [giving her a half-genuine smile/look of appreciation that gets overtaken by an OTT 😍 one about your current situation before you'd barely have chance to clock it, giving her the expected playful-slap-on-the-arm like what are you like? at least you can use the actual snort at this news to pretend you're so amused about anything but Mia getting the clap 'very romantic' letting your voice raise again on any word that would help sell your story, actually covertly looking over to the flat whites 'she's hung up now, of course' 'cos what's the point if you can't torture Grace] Grace: [when you're doing a whole apology moment loud enough to be heard by Mia cos will annoy her because you never apologise to her sincerely but also as your chance to actually be like I'm so sorry that our lives are like this and we don't talk anymore because all this comes out when you're drunk but before jj fake date when are you two ever at the same parties, you just aren't and you're having enough emotions to accidentally go there 'he's literally such a dark horse, I can't even' looking at Jimmy and again loud enough to be heard even though you're shading Pablo and Mia because duh, doesn't look over at the gals cos she doesn't need to, we know the drill by now 'duh' but her voice is like a dead version of her real one and thus in such a whisper because the most genuine thing she's said lowkey in forever 'he doesn't care how her day's going and what can she say anyway' cos we all know he only wants to hook up and her life is boring and basic] Janis: [when you can shh her because not that deep and we're so close and sisterly rn but it really 'cos this makes you so uncomfortable like stop 'I know' when you have to force the enthusiasm into your voice on that one 'cos we all know Pablo is an unavoidable dickhead even before this and you're grieving too rn boy but still, Mia, of all people, ew, 'I can't believe it' when your overall demeanor and tone projects that you feel so #blessed but the reality of the words is literally the opposite 'daddy issues, right' clutching your hand to your chest like you're talking about something SO cute he did but the 'awh, bless' is all for that tragic hoe] Grace: ['same' and likewise your tone is the opposite as it also is when you nod in agreement to the daddy issues comment cos that hits close to home obvs 'this trip is gonna be so' loud enough that people can hear that too even though you also mean that in a please kill me way not a I really ship JJ way] Janis: ['Yeah...' and a sigh that is SO wistful and not at all exasperated at all the shit Mia can and will try to pull, going back to the #conspiratorial 😏 look 'I've got plans' and winking 'cos have, getting up like better get back to it 🤭 and giving her a one-armed hug as you stand to go, purely as a fuck you ladies, turning back like oh! just remembered and handing her your phone 'downloaded that album you wanted to listen to' at normal volume, so she has an excuse to stay put and put headphones on] Grace: [making your own song and dance of forgetting something too purely because you're dying over the hug like I'm so dumb I'd forget my weave if it wasn't glued in and passing her something between the seats once she's sat back down with Jimboy, honestly fuck knows what it even is but it'd drive everyone crazy trying to guess] Grace changed name to Jimmy Janis: [gonna lowkey need that phone back but it can easily be passed back via the seats so that's no issue, just not looking at him yet 'cos can't 'cos that was so OTT for you (obvs) but you can have a bit of 😳 before you commit to this part of it] Jimmy: [playfully nudges her and passes her his phone (oh the trust ladies) and takes a headphone leaving her one cos as far as everyone knows Grace has hers and he knows everyone is looking at them and what is going on and that's his way of telling her he's keeping up with it] Janis: [when you a mvp, nudging him back and it means far too much to be decipherable like sorry, thanks and more all in one gesture, leaning in figuratively and literally for this headphone moment, which makes resting your head on his shoulder that much easier] Jimmy: [we know he's softly playing with her hair for the first time ever because we can pretend he's playing along but really he's wanted to do that since day 1 baby] Janis: [when you do put some music on so you can have some vague distraction but you put it on pretty quiet, so you could still whisper to each other 'alright?' like, asking if he is, if that was, if this is, again, too many potential ways to mean that] Jimmy: [when you just say yeah at a normal volume because use that to your advantage] Janis: ['yeah?' back in what can only be described as low-key saucy, like oh really vibes but like, oh really lol] Jimmy: [gives her the first LOOK ever and nods because we can both play this game gal] Janis: [when the fact that that shook you works to your advantage so you don't have to worry, turning this into more of a snug than it was, putting your arms around his waist and loudly whispering 'I'll make it up to you' 'cos gonna pay off that debt but take that as you will people] Jimmy: [when you can just be 😏 cos it works but you're wondering how she reckons she'll do that and you know she knows that] Janis: [okay, using his phone to type back and forth 'cos that'll look cute and keep up the lie] Janis: how does she look Janis: scale 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 Jimmy: 😡😡😡 Janis: not bad Jimmy: but will it do? Janis: got three days to 🤯 Jimmy: if you need 'em Janis: that a challenge? Jimmy: does it sound like one? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [takes her hand to write ok on it because it looks like they're holding hands so challenge accepted vibes] Janis: 🦐 is 😢 Jimmy: duh he's got resting 🦐 face Janis: [loling 'cos hohoho so funny babe but part of that was genuine] Jimmy: [when you gotta give OTT 😍 cos she's got a cute laugh] Janis: do I need to put 🤢 on the scale Janis: or is that purely 💀#1 💀#2 Jimmy: they would reckon that's #ultimategoals Jimmy: a lad who triggers their gag reflex Janis: 🤮💘 Janis: GROSS Jimmy: [little lol] Janis: [😍 for the fans] Jimmy: [don't think about how bad you wanna kiss her boy, you can't risk being the new Mia of this coach] Janis: [you gonna have to chill but it won't be that much of a journey wherever you're going so don't worry lads, in fact, close your eyes and pretend you gonna have a lil nap on him] Jimmy: [just doodling on her with your fingertip really softly I like to imagine he's drawing out the scale] Janis: [love that, we must skip though] Jimmy: [so okay, activity time, we having Grace on JJ's team cos suck a dick Mia and a boy she can flirt with, then some random] Janis: [it should be a girl Mia has beef with, for some ridiculous reason, like bitch has deffo not done anything lol] Jimmy: [yasssssss I love that] Janis: [yo y'all better win or at least beat her team] Jimmy: [wouldn't be hard to beat her or loads of the others even if they don't win but ngl I'd love it if you did] Janis: [do it we're writing it fight us they're competitive and they're dying 💀#1 💀#2 so bye] Jimmy: [fuck it nobody would be expecting any of yall to win or care so I'm about it] Janis: [hohaha start as you mean to go on tbh] Jimmy: where on the scale now? Janis: 🤬 Janis: definitely heard her name followed by bitch Janis: my review even less favourable Jimmy: [picks her up and spins her round like he's so buzzing they won] Jimmy: that'll help Janis: don't put your back out Jimmy: I ain't as old as I look Janis: [😏] Janis: that's what they all say Jimmy: you been to catholic school, girl? Jimmy: I get why they all wanna crack onto you now Janis: rude you didn't get it before Jimmy: wouldn't wanna make your head any bigger Jimmy: touch and go picking you up as it were Janis: not my fault you're short and I ain't 💀 Jimmy: piss off am I Janis: no need to 🤬 Janis: we 🏆🥇 Jimmy: What you trying to make me 😭 for then? Janis: awh, babes Jimmy: leave it out Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hmu when you wanna make a cracking bridge again then Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: 😎🔥 Janis: I get it, IOU rn Janis: 💭 on Jimmy: I have had the one Janis: yeah? Jimmy: this is working, yeah? Jimmy: shes at 🤬 you said Janis: it's making this trip worthwhile, yeah Jimmy: nowt to do but crack on with making it more worthwhile Jimmy: neither of us can move for 'better' offers, can we? Janis: Literally gonna rip out my own 👀 or everyone else's if they don't calm it down with the sexts Janis: so, you wanna 🤯? Jimmy: want is a bit strong Jimmy: but if we're pissing about performing for her, might as well clear our DMs of dickheads while we're at it Janis: yeah, it makes sense Janis: may as well use it to our advantage any way we can Jimmy: while we're stuck here doing this bollocks at least Janis: kills time, keeps us from killing anyone Janis: I'm down Jimmy: Alright Janis: how are we gonna do this then Janis: like, exactly Jimmy: How do you wanna do it? Janis: We'll have to go some for people to calm down, obviously Janis: people have no problem being hoes Jimmy: I know Janis: so like, full 😍 then Janis: ? Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: won't be that hard, people have no problem believing we're #fated either if all those likes are owt to go by Janis: they're idiots and I'm well convincing Jimmy: yeah alright, Julie, I'll collect your oscar for you on my way out 'cause it won't be for long either Jimmy: I'll piss off soon and no dickhead's expecting us to keep going at being that starcrossed Janis: 'course not Janis: they'll forget about you in a week or two Janis: makes sense for this trip, as you said Janis: everyone's tryna get off with each other and it gets both of us an easy out Jimmy: mine or yours tonight then, my dear? Janis: I'll come to yours Janis: then Grace can have then over and they can 👀 I ain't in Jimmy: you're on to a real winner today, girl Jimmy: not just a big head Janis: that's the spirit Jimmy: 👻 Janis: specifically no 👻ing Jimmy: What about 🥃? Janis: DUH Janis: you got some? Jimmy: not very #goals to have to bribe you but Jimmy: wouldn't come here empty handed Janis: obviously I've only got eyes for you, Casper Janis: oh, who are you rooming with? Jimmy: Dunno, man bun, deepest of v neck t-shirts? Jimmy: only got eyes for his vape Janis: oh Janis: yep, I know who you mean Janis: 🎨 description Jimmy: ain't saying I could be an undercover 👮 or one of their informants but if Mia's dad goes down I will take the 🏆 Janis: 🐀boy can be your new name Jimmy: tah, sweetheart 💕 Janis: yeah, well couple goals that Jimmy: that'll be why I propositioned you Janis: is propositioned a sexy word? Janis: it sounds a bit 👮 report Jimmy: Busted, I'm 45 and faking being a real #lad an' all, the 😎 hide my crows feet Jimmy: can't have any secrets between us, like Janis: gotcha Janis: makes sense why Mia is 🤤 Jimmy: and sir Janis: you wish Janis: devvo he ain't here Jimmy: alright, put down the 🧂 babe, you'll give me a heart attack Janis: 🙄 Janis: yeah secretly so jealous of our fat, balding 🤓 of a teacher Jimmy: DUH Janis: 💁 Jimmy: while we're chucking tea about, I weren't on that teen soap, so warn us if you're gonna show up to my door naked Janis: not my plan Janis: reckon we can scandalize without going there Janis: soap and romcom tropes would be our friend though so let us down there Jimmy: soz, I were #blessed with the accent and the IQ for that bollocks but none of the emotional range Janis: leave off Janis: your 😍 were solid Jimmy: save the compliments til my room's full of dickheads to overhear Janis: just don't mention the part where I fake it like a pro Janis: not an idiot Jimmy: easy to say you take it like a pro instead Jimmy: nowt to worry about Janis: lovely Janis: are we fucking or are we 💘 Janis: important distinction Jimmy: reckon we can have it all, Juliet Janis: alright Jimmy: I know it ain't just for 💀👑 now but nowt'll piss her off more Janis: right, she's incapable of any of the finer human emotions Janis: oh, her boyfriend gave her an STI Jimmy: lovely, that Jimmy: which one? Janis: which boyfriend or which STI, yeah Janis: the one I'm related to, by all accounts Janis: 🤞 chlamydia so I don't need to cuntpunt her Jimmy: sounds a bit like the name of a kid fiddling island her dad does his business lunches on Jimmy: works on loads of levels Janis: 😏 Janis: he will be SO proud Janis: though, probably casually racist which is what makes him the ideal candidate for a boyfriend Jimmy: 🤞 his secretary ain't related to me if her dad's caught it off her Jimmy: turned down that teen soap for a reason Janis: 😱 Janis: goes all the way to the top Jimmy: 🏆🥇 Janis: was slightly concerned you were saying you fuck your cousins or something but as I only need to fake touch you Janis: you do you Jimmy: I ain't got any cousins, soz if that's pissed on your ultimate kink Janis: I'm not fucking 'em, new boy Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you don't vape, do you Jimmy: what kind of fucking question is that? Janis: a valid one 😎boy Janis: 'cos that shit gives me a headache Janis: not gonna sit in your cotton candy cloud Jimmy: you've had a 🚬 with me, dickhead Jimmy: did that taste 🍧🍦🧁🍰🎂🍭🍬 🍫 to you? Janis: might mix your vices Janis: but nah, you're old school 😎 good Jimmy: I can 💀💀💀 buzzing, grinning in my ⚰ over knowing you reckon I'm 👍 Janis: obviously Janis: 🍀 you Jimmy: 🥃 give you a headache an' all, you want a 🍹 instead, Jane? Janis: piss off Janis: 1. offering shit you can't provide unless you've brought mixer and ice with you too 2. being a dickhead Jimmy: 1. someone'll have brought a 🧃 it's a school trip 2. you're being a dickhead Janis: 1. you a barman and all? 2. save it for your roommates, lover boy Jimmy: 1. find out in a bit, won't you 2. I don't have a vape pen, remember, fucked the foreplay right up Janis: your idea of foreplay is worrying Janis: fake or otherwise Jimmy: bit late to spread that about, we're committed to being #goals not what were it Mia said, weird freaks or some bollocks Janis: can tell she's not an artist Janis: words not her strong suit Jimmy: what is? Janis: ♙ Jimmy: if that ain't nerd flirting, I dunno what would be Janis: seeing she can control mindless idiots ain't 😍 Janis: if I wanted to be surrounded by those kind of people, I could do it easier Jimmy: the game though, all that eye contact and pissing about Janis: find us a board and we'll give 'em foreplay then Jimmy: [draws her a pisstakey flirty board] Janis: 😂 Janis: lemme practice not blinking Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: my line Jimmy: Alright, go on Janis: I already said it Jimmy: you wanted the practice Jimmy: have another crack at it Janis: I'll say it when they can hear Jimmy: 🤞 you'll say a bit more than that Jimmy: they're idiots, you already said an' all Janis: idiots need visuals, I'm aware Jimmy: you've got something going on behind them unblinking 👀 I'm aware Janis: 💘 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [skipperoni to showing up in your PJs, a bold move] Jimmy: [when it's a lewk and his jaw hitting the floor isn't fake at all] Janis: [we just pretending we don't even know Oli/anyone else is there, soz boy] Jimmy: [at least he can shamelessly check her out like 🤤 cos they are though] Janis: [we asking for the drink] Jimmy: [thanks for that Ian] Janis: [I hope you're bottom bunk if not enjoy the view everyone whilst you climb up, like] Jimmy: [for that reason alone he has to be top] Janis: ['I was bored without you'] Jimmy: ['you better stay for a bit then' obviously joins her up there because was making a show of looking out to check for teachers and all that nonsense 'at least til you ain't bored'] Janis: ['sounds like a plan' and a LOOK under the pretense they're probably standing about so can see, 'cos y'all ain't gonna be on the bottom bunk together are you] Jimmy: [a LOOK back before you open the bottle for her because gentlemanly not cos you're stalling nope] Janis: ['Slainte' and taking a shot whilst maintaining that ♙ eye contact] Jimmy: [does the thing where he takes the bottle from her but instead of taking a drink he pulls her into him but I'm gonna say that her hair is down so they can't see what he's doing because the truth is nothing yet even though it looks like he's kissing her neck or whatever because he's a good boy and he wants to know it's okay first so a LOOK which is actually an unspoken question lol] Janis: [taking the bottle back and putting it down on top of the wardrobe or whatever in reply like yeah, let's go for it, partly to prove you're down for the plan and not scared and also 'cos you know Oli will get too awks and make them all leave if you actually do anything so it won't have to be a Thing for ages, like] Jimmy: [goes in for the first kiss and it's obviously EVERYTHING goodbye] Janis: [rip you two, it's DEFINITELY continuing after they out the door, even if for a hot sec, you are that blatant, like, just in case they forgot something or whatever] Jimmy: [duh it'd ruin everything if they forgot their vape and came back and you weren't still going] Janis: [just dedicated to the act, alright] Jimmy: [he doesn't know they're related so lowkey surprised they left so fast and of course gutted we know but acting unfazed by having that drink finally] Jimmy: [bit rude cos that makes it seem like you hated it but okay boy] Janis: [not about to bring it up before or after, just hopping down like ta-da and looking at the window so casually] Jimmy: goes to the window and 🚬 out of it cos still offended she asked you if you vape] Janis: [sniffs like she seeing if it's 🍧🍦🧁🍰🎂🍭🍬 🍫 or nah] Jimmy: [blows a smoke ring at her but in a sassy way not a Harley aggressively blowing smoke at Ro back in the day way] Janis: [still wafting it away like we're Mia levels of disgusted but 😏 'cos not] Jimmy: [turning back to the window but obvs amused, we're all 😏 rn] Janis: ['they'll tell everyone, Nathan has a big mouth' looks around the room like 'what are we gonna do for at least 15 minutes, so you don't get THAT rep'] Jimmy: ['does look a bit like if Mick Jagger fucked some local lass and weren't feeling the need to shout about it for obvious reasons' looks at the bottle wherever he left that and back at her with a shrug 'fancy a game of chess?']] Janis: [snorts 'we'd all know about it anyway, no one 'round here can keep a secret' follows his eyes with hers and nods 'alright'] Jimmy: [IRL 🤞 and checks his phone we know he's checking on Cass and Bobby but it looks like he's checking if people are saying shit yet so, picks the bottle back up, takes a swing and passes it back to her] Janis: [when a thought #hits and you get your phone and as you're taking your swig you do some searching and put some sex sounds on and put your phone under a pillow to convincingly muffle it and 🤫 at him like speak quiet if you're gonna] Jimmy: [🙄 but also nod because it's a good idea] Janis: [nudges him as she walks back to give him the bottle 'you want me to be -' mimes 🤐 '-or you expect me to sit here and do it myself?' pointing at the phone like no thank you] Jimmy: ['I get it, everyone's so desperate to fuck you or know what it'd be like they've got their ears pressed to the door'] Janis: [shrugs like yes, your point?] Jimmy: [gets back on his bed and gets comfy so she'll have to get on either Ollie's bed below or his if she wants to talk to him cos shh] Janis: [🙄 and a dramatic sigh but fake is sexy but you're 😒] Jimmy: [texting his sister for a while but then his phone is blowing up because people are scandalised so he chucks it at her so she can see] Janis: ['phase one complete' shaking her head as she reads a bit but then chucking it back like a hot 🥔 'probably have to eat dinner at the same table'] Jimmy: [nods but when he's thinking about everyone watching them his own idea hits and it's the lovebites so he gestures for her to come here] Janis: [climbing up this bed again like ugh, excuse me] Jimmy: [I think to think she's as far away as she can be so he's like 'come here' but we whispering of course so it's accidentally hot] Janis: [assumedly, and we are questioning this but we also aren't 'cos we do come closer, obviously] Jimmy: [reaches out and touches her hair, moving it away from her neck and looking at that as yet unbruised skin and we know he's thinking if she has her hair up everyone else will be seeing that too so he looks at her and you know it's meant to be a look like do you see where I'm going with this but it's shamelessly just a LOOK] Janis: [when you automatically bring your hand up to move his away like oi, excuse me but you catch up with this being part of the plan so then you're just holding his hand there 'good thinking' when again, you have to whisper so it all just sounds so much hotter and #intoit than it would if you could just speak but soz, you can't] Jimmy: [looks at her phone under the pillow still playing those saucy sex sounds 'could just google how to fake 'em' cos you know people have blatantly done that but then he's looking at her again and licking his lips and generally being hot af] Janis: [shakes head 'that's more effort' taking the phone and turning them off, like, how suggestive like are you gonna be making the noises now too or what 'meant to make our lives easier, yeah?'] Jimmy: [holds her hair out of the way which is also lowkey hot soz not soz and goes in cos unspoken challenge accepted on getting her to make better noises than that] Janis: [we out here doing the most] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: [know we giving him some in the process, only fair, not like we need to] Jimmy: [there's no hiding behind your hair boy and that's the only flimsy excuse we need] Janis: [and we need to be THAT obvious so everyone knows, duh] Jimmy: [like she said, gotta make both of their lives easier not only make one of 'em look swag, very much mutual and both #goals thank you] Janis: [exactly, we're fucking off and over the flat whites and co, not each other] Jimmy: [thank god she turned off the sounds because there's no stopping him from making any and we need to pretend it's OTT fake at this point instead of him being THAT into it already] Janis: ['you're a good actor' 'cos you said you'd say it] Jimmy: ['you're -' we're not finishing that because he hasn't said it loud enough to style it into a fake compliment] Janis: [biting his bottom lip 'cos you weren't kissing for long enough so you simply gotta so they're more bruised] Jimmy: [I love that you could've just bitten your own but more fun for everyone like that because you know he'd follow suit and do the same for her] Janis: [we need to be thorough here, that might not be enough] Jimmy: [hence just lowkey making out now but I think we should have a teacher catch them cos Mia or Ella snitched to cockblock because in the OG they had that punishment to clean everyone else's rooms and they stole their shit and I think we should still do that cos it was a mood but in the OG they had that punishment cos they snuck off to the pub which they don't need to because Ian's stash is a thing this time] Janis: [agree fully because a. they would and b. the teacher can be so shame-y and then everyone will hear if said teacher is going off and then bitching about them to the other teachers] Jimmy: [yeah it's a much better idea and an actual decent way to cockblock so they don't just hook up rn] Janis: [I'm with it, 'cos we can steal someone else's booze if theirs also gets confiscated for bonus scandal points] Jimmy: [love that] Janis: [okay, so dinner after we've been bollocked and everyone is shooketh, not allowed to sit together so] Jimmy: [oooh we should say Grace is putting make up on her love bites for her because that is a way to draw even more attention to it cos lowkey in the midst of dinner here] Janis: [gets out kit lmao] Jimmy: [exactly and a reason for her to be like Grace you need to sit with me so Mia is seething] Janis: [what did you think would come of this really, Mia, there's only so much 'trouble' they can get into and they don't care] Jimmy: [and like if you thought Grace would be embarrassed and that would drive a wedge you haven't considered that 1. she's a hoe 2. so much worse shit gets said about the cali fam as standard] Janis: [it's gonna get worse if they come in your room later in this trip so like, blow your load now alright girl] Jimmy: [which needs to happen because that was the fake injury moment and was iconic] Janis: [mhmm] Janis: OI DICKHEAD REMEMBER TO LOOK 😍 WHEN YOU READ THIS 😘 Jimmy: [does a real little lol and then looks at her IRL with fake longing] Jimmy: Alright? Janis: 👌 Janis: No one is gonna think it's over this food, so yeah, it'll do Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: bit rude they're trying to poison us before we do it ourselves Janis: tell he's the maths teacher Janis: not following the plot here Jimmy: might 🔪 the messenger if he's going that hard with the Shakespeare but alright Jimmy: I'll obvs die for you Janis: the bruises aren't that bad Jimmy: they look 🥇 from here Janis: [a LOOK from across the room] Janis: done the job, like Jimmy: [one back of course that's really lingering to really make the point] Jimmy: as they go, pissing about with you for a bit's not as bad as cleaning 🚽 Jimmy: don't get a massive head over it but Janis: unlikely Janis: generous and forthcoming with the 🥇 compliments as you are Jimmy: Oi, don't forget my 🥇💡 Janis: you got your recognition Jimmy: piss easy to get more Janis: obviously Janis: but what next Janis: aside from all this nerd flirting business Jimmy: Depends Janis: ? Jimmy: how you feeling? Jimmy: you look a bit cold to me Janis: [looks down at nips lmao] Jimmy: [he wants to lol but is 😏 cos he comes over to her and puts his hoodie on her, like enjoy the show everyone] Janis: alright, fairplay Janis: [snuggling in like full smug suck it everyone] Jimmy: check the pockets 🎁💕 Jimmy: [has drawn her something and written a little love note for the added brag] Janis: [making a big show of being extra secretive and trying to look at it privately so everyone on the table is 👀] Jimmy: [he made sure it was extra thankfully in case they can see and didn't write like oi dickhead] Janis: I'll 📸 it later Janis: was 🤞 for some 🚬s Jimmy: I've kept hold of them Jimmy: find me later Janis: very see me after class vibes Janis: alright Jimmy: if you wanna stick your uniform on for the 📸 go ahead, mate Janis: 💔 I didn't bring it with Janis: could wait but Jimmy: 💀👑 will be, mad for a uniform, her Janis: so I've heard Janis: what is it then, little apron Jimmy: [sends the CG instagram cos he won't have random pics of himself in his uniform on his phone] Janis: very Janis: starbucks lite Jimmy: they'll be 🎻💔😭 Janis: delete this comment 'fore I hit send Jimmy: already @ed it to 'em Janis: 🐍 you are Jimmy: got the fang marks to prove it, you Janis: now she's punched us with a brush as well quite sore tbh Jimmy: poor baby Janis: yes you're very concerned Janis: Mr Lucas is Jimmy: gutted he can't kiss you better is what he is Janis: idk, maybe he's 🎻💔😭 'cos you've ruined me Jimmy: very old school, that Jimmy: you're alright, I got no STI's Janis: @him Jimmy: what's his @? Janis: @virginsonly Jimmy: did he used to work at the local catholic or what? Janis: just to the point and selective, I think Jimmy: now I'm 🎻💔😭 Jimmy: why ain't I good enough for you sir? Fucking LOVE me, like Janis: and scene 🎬👏 Jimmy: Hang on, I need to be standing on this table Janis: 😏 Janis: love that for him, you fully crack after what, a month or so of bumming Jimmy: when you know you know, mate Jimmy: what we've got is SO real Janis: of course it is Jimmy: speaking of, what are we doing in a bit? Janis: having a 🚬 Janis: you said Jimmy: I mean are we 🎻💔😭 apart like 🤓 or 💕 together like 😎 Jimmy: how do you want the 🎬? Jimmy: can do loads with socials either @ or with Janis: whatever she says Janis: or fucks Janis: 🤓 is how she actually kicks it so Janis: 😎 is better Janis: what can they do, send us home Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: pay for my cab 'cos not gonna get my mum out here Janis: starcrossed love is the way to go, so, max sneaking for 💘 Jimmy: Alright Janis: you don't give a shit, right? Jimmy: about what? Janis: potential trouble, this trips' educational value, etc Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: just making sure Jimmy: [comes over to her again and whispers in her ear 'there's your answer' cos he really gives a shit about absolutely nothing rn and the teachers would be fuming cos stop it boy] Janis: [when the 😏 is real 'cos likewise, cares about nothing and is so bored of everyone and everything but obvs the quick kiss is to piss 'em off further] Jimmy: [when you turn it into more a kiss ™ as if you can't not because you can't get enough of her but not so much that you're Mia on the coach about it] Janis: [know people are gonna be highkey anyways like why not lads] Jimmy: [exactly and loads of 'em are putting it on their stories etc blatantly so] Janis: [#exposure] Jimmy: [I feel like the teachers should make either him or her go to their room because the kind of bullshit that achieves nothing like are you gonna make sure they stay there or what] Janis: [literally, like oh, without supervision, at least you've been smart enough to just send the one but still, it should be him I think] Janis: 🍀 Jimmy: [sends a pic of him on his bed really comfy like but if anyone sees it looks like an I wish you were here kinda thing instead of rubbing it in lol] Janis: twat Janis: i've got to stay here and do fucking 'fun' team building bullshit Jimmy: if you can't get yourself sent out, then you can't, babe Jimmy: if any dickhead were capable of 🥇 you wouldn't need me Janis: 😒 Janis: they aren't gonna send us both out, even they aren't quite that thick Janis: rude Jimmy: they can't stop you going for a piss, even Mia's dad would win that case and he is that thick Jimmy: you don't go back and what? Janis: they definitely go to our rooms Janis: so where are we going? Jimmy: where do you wanna go? Janis: wherever, far away enough from the windows and we'll be alright Jimmy: Come on then Janis: post that pic whilst you're waiting Jimmy: [does obviously] Janis: [posts his doodle in the comments of people saying how cute he is like IKR] Jimmy: you're a good actor an' all Janis: Take my bow as I make my escape Jimmy: head that big, ain't an easy feat not to topple over Janis: what I'm hearing is, you think I'm well impressive Jimmy: didn't realise you were deaf, my little brother will be chuffed to bits Janis: not gonna fake meet your family Janis: calm yourself down, boy Jimmy: weren't asking you to Jimmy: steady on, girl Janis: mhmm, what was that? Janis: my selective hearing couldn't make it out Jimmy: [sends a voice memo but instead of calling her a dickhead or something because he doesn't know where she is rn and who might here it's like I SAID COME HERE] Jimmy: [*hear I cannot type today at all] Janis: 👏 Janis: I am omw Janis: please make sure you are decent Jimmy: as an actor? 👌 Janis: was thinking don't open the door naked either Janis: but maybe those two can't coexist Jimmy: stop thinking about me naked, Judith Janis: you started it Jimmy: Calm yourself down, so bloody extra, you Janis: oh sorry, didn't know I was in a groupchat with the GALS Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: prepare to be that #shook Janis: [turn up to collect him] Jimmy: [does an IRL equivalent of 😱] Janis: ['come on, kev' 😏] Jimmy: [we out of here] Janis: [go for your smoke lads 'so what #content are we getting out of this?'] Jimmy: [they should do the sexy blowback thing purely for #content obvs] Janis: [purely, mhmm] Jimmy: [and I vote she should sit on his lap for the first time cos casual 🚬 photoshoot happening] Janis: [gotta make sure you're in shot, all of this is well necessary] Jimmy: [you wouldn't wanna be out of frame and have to take these pics all over again oh no] Janis: [that would just not be on brand, arty boy] Jimmy: [I love how extra you two are immediately, it's literally my fave thing] Janis: [fully could have stayed in your room and been like ha soz but no] Jimmy: [you should wanna be caught but we know why you don't] Janis: [the tea, the pretense of taking videos and pics is so flimsy but at least you tried and didn't just go to makeout] Jimmy: [and at least there will be actual #content because anything that annoys Mia gives me life] Janis: [exactly dr phil you're allowed] Jimmy: [what else can these little rebhogs do?] Janis: [maybe if the teachers are looking for her again, and now him 'cos checked their rooms, they can come back in together and be like, it's not fair to leave Jimmy out 'cos not and then just be couply af whilst doing whatever evening activity 'til bed] Jimmy: [I'll allow it because their teachers are clearly shit and like they've already given them their punishment to clean up everyone's rooms tomorrow so as far as they are concerned job done] Janis: [can't stop teen hormones and didn't come on the trip to be in his room so yolo, then Mia will be annoyed again 'cos no one is getting in trouble] Jimmy: [yeah she'd be trying to cause shit in this activity no doubt, ooh maybe that's when she or Ella gets hurt and makes a meal of it so it's not even the same day as Janis they are just trying to milk it that hard] Janis: [a mood, can also put an end to everyone's fun low-key, tah ladies] Jimmy: no oscar for her Janis: How is she that bad at it when she's faked every boy she's been with is Mia? Janis: poor show Jimmy: brb I gotta @ my dad to tell him my brother ain't the biggest cry baby going and pour bleach into my eyes and ears Janis: bit insensitive on the ears but yeah Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: *🤢 Jimmy: 💀#2💕💀👑 Janis: it has been a few hours since they last purged probs Janis: explains everything Jimmy: tah for another lovely visual Jimmy: SUCH #couplegoals them Janis: your toothbrush is my toothbrush, babe Jimmy: I were thinking if you come round early enough in the morning without waking Gracie when you do we can make it look like you stayed and we're sneaking you out when the dickhead I'm sharing with wakes up Janis: That's a good idea Janis: she gets up early, so it'd feel more like late night but still works Janis: they should all be up to, even if their end result is more 'natural' Jimmy: be piss easy to make sure enough of 'em see you then Jimmy: me an' all when I walk you back Janis: right to the door Janis: well gentlemanly Janis: less so if I invite you in for round two but that depends who's seen and who's still watching, obvs Jimmy: 💰 on Mr Lucas from the bushes Janis: 🤞 Janis: nice to know he still cares, like Jimmy: it's all #bants til he comes out of the shrubs with a 💍 Janis: 😬 Jimmy: soz mate, bit rude to get your hopes up Janis: now you can't read facial expressions 😎boy Jimmy: never said I could Jimmy: just lips, and I ain't looking at yours unless the rest of the dickheads are 👀 at us Janis: facetime goodnight would be a little much Jimmy: unless 💀👑 is tucked up with Grace while her missus is in sick bay Janis: thankfully not Janis: can't come in without being invited Jimmy: you'd know about that vampire girl Janis: says you Janis: very tender, as I previously mentioned Jimmy: I did say it, yeah, and I previously mentioned how sympathetic I was an' all Janis: not your most convincing work Jimmy: 💔 Janis: yeah, you should feel bad Jimmy: for which bit? Janis: your shit performance Janis: obvs Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I ain't given a single shit performance Janis: your sympathy just seems very disingenuous to me Jimmy: Baby, I'm so sorry Janis: more like it Janis: believe you've done this before now Jimmy: done what before, said sorry or left a lass needing a 🩹? Janis: had a girlfriend Janis: soz Mr Lucas Jimmy: no need to @ him Janis: another secret to keep? Janis: I dunno Jimmy: the secret that I ain't gay is already out, mate Janis: devastated Janis: gay bff is probably well more up their street than boyfriend tbh Jimmy: probably not too late to go for that Jimmy: if you really wanna Jimmy: come round and I'll plait your hair or some bollocks Jimmy: you already know my crushes Janis: 🤢 Janis: is what I think to that suggestion Janis: 💘 easier to fake Jimmy: for you 'cause I'm well fit and mysterious Janis: for me 'cos I don't have to talk to you half as much this way Jimmy: you can be the strong silent type any way we play this, Jasmine Jimmy: it's alright Janis: nah Janis: as I said, the straight girls will be more up on you, if anything Janis: and the gay boys would actually be 💔 from the queer bait so probs don't Jimmy: #whenshecaresaboutsparingyoudickpicDMs Jimmy: I get it, I don't deserve you, sweetheart Janis: don't have time to count all the ways you're so lucky to have me Janis: cataloging all these dick pics Jimmy: be a #goals tweet though Jimmy: hang on fans, I'm so lucky I ran out of characters Janis: have that for free Janis: need to up my cute though Janis: not my fault I can't draw Jimmy: yeah you can Jimmy: that 🎨 of Mia and her dad cracking onto each other was a top masterpiece Jimmy: [is tweeting about how lucky he is to have her obvs] Janis: you're a sick, sick boy Jimmy: came from your 🧠 girl Jimmy: I just appreciated it, what you do with #art Janis: never said I weren't as well Janis: have to admit they might have us both beat though Jimmy: true 💕 Jimmy: nowt we can do to compete with owt that real Jimmy: or that twisted Janis: unless you are 45 Janis: little bit of tan and we could sell that you're my dad Jimmy: Northern 45 is a southern twat's 95 Jimmy: dunno if black face is the way to go though, mate Jimmy: ain't worked out brilliantly for loads of others Janis: you wanted twisted Jimmy: but the deal is, when you want me 💀💀💀 you do the deed yourself Jimmy: don't need Bill rising from ⚰ pissed off about another rewrite Janis: alright, pair of spoilsports Janis: how you wanna go out then Janis: 💣 🧨 🪓 🔪 🗡 ⚔️ 💊 💉 🪒 Jimmy: lasses first, would hate to ✔ your fave Jimmy: loads you missed an' all Jimmy: 🏑🏏🏹⛸🔧🔨🛁 Janis: 🤔 Janis: probably 🔪 Janis: or 🔨 maybe Janis: most personal Janis: how about you? Jimmy: Depends Jimmy: are we gonna do #matching or different? Janis: You only get one Janis: I'll kill you any way you like Jimmy: hot Janis: 🔥 Janis: but I won't be cuddling up to your crispy corpse Jimmy: Fuck me, I forgot one an' all! Janis: I mean, possibilities are endless Janis: but 💏 🤵👰 🤰 👶 is boring and not worth mentioning Jimmy: don't try and make me feel better, baby, fuming I am Jimmy: and now I dunno if I want 🔪 for the wound 🎨 or 🔨 for the 🩸 splatter 🎨 Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I'll stab you but not let you bleed out Janis: take some #aes photos and then 🔨 final blow Janis: there you go Jimmy: that's the cutest thing I've ever heard, you don't need to work on nowt Jimmy: 🥇 you Janis: I'd screenshot asap then, if Mia wouldn't call the 👮 like the concerned Karen she is Jimmy: [writes some actual cute shit that everybody will eat up] Jimmy: type that out and screenshot it Janis: nice that you 💘 yourself so much that you can think of all that 😏 Janis: [does though] Jimmy: piss easy when they don't know who I am Janis: yeah Janis: don't need to tell me Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: it's the shit they do know that's unavoidable Janis: like Mick Jagger being my dad Jimmy: bit rude he didn't teach you nowt about how to perform but I'll carry us both til you figure it out Janis: got the opposite in writing somewhere in this convo Janis: don't be bitter 'cos I'm 🥇 without having to do as much Jimmy: You're only that good if you can do his hip move Jimmy: and there's not gonna be any evidence of that about anywhere Janis: not that committed to the bit, rat boy Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: take 🥈 and piss off, bad blood Janis: you piss off, dickhead Jimmy: or what? Janis: I'll smack you Jimmy: go on Jimmy: hit me hard enough and I can get out of doing our bollocks punishment Janis: I think not Janis: I'll go to the sick bay and you can carry cleanup too as you're so smug Jimmy: I get it, you miss El Jimmy: she is a fucking delight Janis: it's like she's constantly on the blob, which is ironic Jimmy: she's given 💀👑 her 🩸💦 and 😥 today Jimmy: if anyone's smug it'll be that pair Janis: unacceptable Janis: especially after I made smoking the opposite of GROSS Jimmy: we've done alright Janis: it'll be 🤯 come morning though Jimmy: you reckon? Janis: don't you? Jimmy: I reckon she needs to 👀 it for herself to be 🤯 Janis: maybe Janis: she's got form for being that bitch Jimmy: if we can't guarantee she'll be about in the morning, we'll have to do something when she is later Janis: yeah Janis: no need to put out the 🔥 before this bullshit trip is over Janis: even by their standards, not a good look Jimmy: right Janis: after that Janis: not got to think about them or that shithole for three weeks so Jimmy: you're decent at pillow talk, Jenna Janis: 👍 Janis: how do we end this Janis: in a way that still fucks them off somehow Jimmy: How do they get chucked? Jimmy: just do the opposite when you decide to bin me off Janis: when? Jimmy: Dunno when I'll be pissing off out of 🍀 yet Jimmy: but 🤞 you won't see me back at school Janis: I get it Janis: we used to move around a lot, when we were younger, I don't remember it much Jimmy: if Ian's still being a knobhead and I am about, do it then Janis: alright Jimmy: alright, give me a bell when you're on your way back to my door, I'll get you in without waking him Janis: he's a heavy sleeper Jimmy: how do you know? Janis: my cousin Janis: used to be closer, when we was kids, sleepovers n shit Jimmy: you should've said Jimmy: wouldn't have made you put on a show in front of him Janis: I don't care Janis: why he left in a hurry though Jimmy: do you want me to meet you at yours in a bit instead? Janis: can do Janis: more guarantee of seeing them then Janis: come to vet her outfit or whatever Jimmy: what time's Grace up? Jimmy: I'll be there an hour before, still give me time to get in and us set up if she wakes any earlier Janis: Our first thing is at 9, yeah? Janis: if she's having breakfast, 6.30, if not, 7 Janis: 6 should be fine Jimmy: 👍 Janis: get some sleep Janis: not enough you don't look shagged out, of course Jimmy: how you were going on earlier I thought she were gonna get up before the sun bothered Janis: I forgot Janis: school's earlier and our bus takes even longer Janis: she has to go to bed like a 👵 Jimmy: bet that goes down well with the lads Janis: dunno Janis: that's what weekends are for, right Jimmy: Dunno Jimmy: my ex near enough moved herself in Jimmy: very #goals obvs Janis: she don't last long enough to do that Jimmy: didn't need to Sherlock that Jimmy: goes without saying or sleuthing Janis: 🐇🐇🐇 Jimmy: shut up and get to bed Janis: rude Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: or is it thoughtful and 💕? Janis: put out a twitter poll if you like Janis: I'll be here not sleeping Jimmy: Alright, sod you then Janis: sweet dreams Jimmy: never said I were sleeping Janis: tell me if we're posting it and I'll fake enthusiasm at whatever you're doing instead Janis: don't want the sexts to be one-sided Jimmy: we should probably be together by now far as the fans know Jimmy: you're alright Janis: true Janis: mutual masturbation less of a flex Jimmy: Save it for the LDR Janis: you're alright, won't make you do it when you get home Janis: find a new fake boyf to keep them off my dick Jimmy: you can't dump me the second I do one, wouldn't be #goals Jimmy: starcrossed is our brand, mate Janis: awh, babe, you'd do that for me?! 💕 Jimmy: and myself, fuck all's gonna change when I leave here Jimmy: not just being racist against paddys, like Janis: if you go back, won't you have all your mates Jimmy: and what? Janis: well, you won't be new boy Janis: no one needs to follow you about and generally be a massive tit, like Jimmy: home's got bigger tits Jimmy: if that's where we go, and if not, new town, same bollocks Janis: well, LDR even easier Janis: can drop you an OTT caption whenever Jimmy: that'll be why I propositioned you again, my dear Janis: what does that mean? Jimmy: you said it, this is about making our lives easier Jimmy: wouldn't force you into an LDR if it were some 🎻🎻 hardship Janis: yeah Janis: alright Jimmy: what? Janis: I meant when you first asked, for now Jimmy: You wanna know why I asked? Janis: yeah Janis: me, specifically, I know why we're doing it Jimmy: 'cause I could do Jimmy: and we're both fit and mysterious, duh Janis: 👌 Jimmy: Go on, why did you say yeah? Janis: 'cos I'm fit and mysterious, why else Jimmy: 👌 Janis: forget I asked Jimmy: Why? I reckon it's what you'd call a valid question Janis: 'cos you didn't tell me anything I didn't know already Jimmy: everyone knows how fit you are Janis: not all wearing 😎 Jimmy: there you go then Janis: bed now Jimmy: save telling me what to do for when there's loads of dickheads about to see and hear how well I do it Janis: it's a polite way to tell you to shut up Jimmy: northern, not that thick Jimmy: take the compliment, dickhead Janis: don't need it Janis: my head is massive as is Jimmy: What do you need? Jimmy: 🚬? Janis: couldn't hurt Janis: what the packets say, right Jimmy: Close enough, come here Janis: [show up] Jimmy: [we know the drill he's lighting up for you gal, god knows how long you've been out there boy dealing the drama that is Ian looking after his own kids for an evening] Janis: [we smoking in silence] Jimmy: [what a nice throwback to the PE moment that started all this] Janis: [Ella stay away] Jimmy: [everyone leave them be tbh] Janis: [when so much drama has gone down already like the levels of not expecting this] Jimmy: [we are so rude soz lads] Janis: [we all know who's fault it actually is, and also that you're about it so Jimmy: [even if neither of you expected to be this about it and are now shooketh] Janis: [hence what is lowkey an awkward silence but both of you usually are so you can play it ain't] Jimmy: [so casual so fine] Janis: [again, not as if you've chosen to spend time together when you don't need to] Jimmy: [makes me lol same as all these convos you're keeping going beyond needing to, but we should say he takes a pic of her under the pretence of like hm idk when I might need this/ we can use it to pretend you're with me if you're not at some point etc but it seems so rude like oh this is just a job every second I have to be doing something I deffo don't wanna spend any time with you just because] Jimmy: [but we know she really just looks beautiful and he's an art hoe] Janis: ['could've warned us, where was my two hours?'] Jimmy: [😏 and offers to take it again with a gesture but you know he's not deleting that OG pic ever] Janis: [🖕 like have that] Jimmy: [😘 like he did to sir when he left] Janis: [wiping her cheek like it hit her] Jimmy: [does a really fake look around for fans lurking] Janis: [raising brow like you know its just us] Jimmy: [shrug cos it's so casual so fine] Janis: [shrugs back but OTT like one up you] Jimmy: [lights a new 🚬 because 1. he's been out there ages so he would've been nearly done when she appeared 2. to prove that he don't feel awks at all and could stay here all night] Janis: [puts her hand out like gimme your lighter] Jimmy: [does but with a raised brow of his own] Janis: [just playing with it 'not suggesting arson, s'boring'] Jimmy: [💔 mime for the first time] Janis: ['poor baby'] Jimmy: [pouty little lip like baby me] Janis: [loling but reminded so 'I'll bite it off next time'] Jimmy: [irl 🤞] Janis: [🙄😏] Jimmy: [gets a snack of some kind out like better eat this while I still can then] Janis: ['did you not eat enough at dinner?'] Jimmy: [🙄😏 but chucks some at her] Janis: ['too busy staring, I remember'] Jimmy: ['bit busy getting chucked out 'cause you don't know owt about being cute'] Janis: [😒 'yeah, that's why'] Jimmy: ['gotta keep it goals if you can't, yeah'] Janis: ['fuck off'] Jimmy: [looks down at his 🚬 which he ain't done with like no shan't] Janis: ['do it by yourself then' 'cos done enough with yours to throw it like good day] Jimmy: [just looking at her like bye then] Janis: [👋 '6 o'clock'] Jimmy: [when you get right in her grill and it's really hot but then you just take your lighter back] Janis: [making an 'ugh' sound] Jimmy: [hasn't moved away so is still very much in her grill and just zipping her hoodie up which is actually his like it's such a long cold walk back when it's neither because you gotta prove that 'cute' comes that effortlessly to you obvs and she sucks but it's just hot because the tension] Janis: [pushing him back, not really hard or anything but enough to ramp up that tension] Jimmy: [when you say 'piss off then' but you're saying it like a challenge not to] Janis: [just looking at him like nah] Jimmy: [LOOKING at her] Janis: ['stop it' but again, a challenge] Jimmy: ['stop what?' because I dare you to acknowledge that something is happening here, gal] Janis: ['you know' 'cos likewise] Jimmy: ['you'] Janis: [points at him] Jimmy: [signs it] Janis: [gonna assume she knows what he's doing but not what he's saying here 'hardly fair'] Jimmy: [scoffs because nothing about any of this is fair or what he signed up for 'playing to win, not fair' but shows her how to do it and what it means then adding whatever he needs to add to change it into 'you're a dickhead' signed which makes me lol imagining what that probably is] Janis: ['alright, Mia' but 😏 and going with this impromptu lesson here] Jimmy: [having a lovely time as if all of that didn't just happen] Janis: [tralalalalala] Jimmy: [it's literally an immediate headfuck, well done lads] Janis: [lmao how could it not be tbh] Jimmy: [if it was actually all fake but we know it never has been or could be cos he chose her for a reason] Janis: [you could've chose someone well below you and just played 'em] Jimmy: [thank god you didn't sir because that wouldn't have been as fun on any level for any of us] Janis: [you aren't that sort of boy is the tea] Jimmy: [my softest in my army of soft boys is the tea] Janis: [mhmm, and you wouldn't have said yes, even though it does benefit you too, if you didn't think he was hot and intriguing so] Jimmy: [anyway teach her the sign for goodnight and then do one please Jimothy or else I won't be able to stop you from doing something which only works if someone appears or you think they have which is unlikely] Janis: [literally got to see each other in a few so time to go lol] Jimmy: [let's skip to him showing up at 6] Jimmy: Oi Janis: [letting him in as a response 'cos obvs up and ready, likewise gonna make you be top bunk so you have to do the most to be quiet] Jimmy: [we know if he's slept at all it's barely so that'll look legit, casually stripping so you can leave your clothes on the floor for Grace and Co to see which means he has to climb up there in just his pants lol] Janis: [likewise, especially after-all that tension but always really, casually looking away so dramatically as if you don't have to get in that single bed with him now] Jimmy: [looking at her while she's looking away because she hasn't gotten any uglier since you saw her last and you're like well fuck this is gonna be interesting] Janis: [oh lads what have you got yourselves into, coming up and casually giving yourselves as much space as you physically can 'cos not as if they're gonna burst in the door any second now and this is just casual, taking off your top so you're in your bra and shorts moment] Jimmy: [when you don't wanna stare at her doing that so you're looking down and it hits you that you're topless too but there's not a single bruise anywhere there so you're like ! and your hand automatically goes to your neck but your foot nudges her] Janis: [turning 'round like excuse me 'cos think he's just being annoying but then you look and then look some more 'til you're like 'oh' everything whispered as per, so then you look down at your own body like, yeah] Jimmy: [to casually avoid following her gaze down her own body because ofc you don't wanna look don't be silly looking at her hands to see how long her nails are, like are back scratches too far or wtf because this is the life we're living kids] Janis: [pretending you think he means he wants you to choke him and going for the throat 'cos cannot be serious about this rn] Jimmy: [so 😒 because she caught you off guard with that and you nearly said something along the lines of oi or piss off at normal volume so you're mad at yourself for being an amateur] Janis: [gently pushing his shoulder like soz but also come on 'you can go first then'] Jimmy: [pushing her down onto the bed slightly less gently but obvs not hard lol and going for it because if you start to think or say something you'll be like this is too much wtf is my life rn and then you're look like even more of an amateur] Janis: [when once it's happening, you can bite your lip all you like but you didn't expect the push down so you can't stop yourself from making the noise] Jimmy: [don't worry gal because that noise would have got to him as much as the push got to you and you'll be able to get your own back soon] Janis: [when you don't wanna tell him to stop but that's purely 'cos you need to prove you got this, not that it's enjoyable or anything, nah] Jimmy: [I'm loling because he's really just going to town on her as if anyone's looking that closely even Mia ready to be like I don't think you really hooked up because there isn't a love bite there, I'm so sure a few would get the point across boy but okay] Janis: [like, the state of undress you don't need to be in April cannot be overstated, the teachers are gonna be fuming at the state of you two lmao] Jimmy: [also you don't need to have your hands on her in any way whatsoever while this is happening but you clearly do] Janis: [we doing the most to stay quiet here, like low-key shouldn't you make a little noise so you can be caught but nah, eventually you gotta blurt out 'come on' but do you mean stop or hurry up or more, we'll never know] Jimmy: [when you take it to mean hurry up like she's so over this because there's a big part of you that thinks she's totally faking this, thanks for those issues parentals so you do hurry up/stop losing yourself how you were for a bit there and go back to treating it like a job] Janis: [we can feel the difference and we're, surely not sad, no, who cares, not you babe, in fact, 'my turn' and flipping him so you on top now] Jimmy: [wasn't expecting that after what she said and how he interpreted it so 'fuck' escapes and we know it's not in an angry way] Janis: [just gotta go in on it too 'cos can't be thinking about that or this will go even further right now] Jimmy: [time to bite your own lip really hard jimothy because not only is this gonna feel incredible but when she's moving you can see at least some of the ones you've given her so] Janis: [we're going so much lower than we need to, like they can fill in the gaps without you doing a hickie on his hip like] Jimmy: [RIP this boy cos he's got no clothes on and nowhere to hide] Janis: [soz for the blueballing] Jimmy: [great way to start your day you won't be 😒 at all] Janis: [when it could lowkey be an hour 'til they wake up like what are you gonna do] Jimmy: [not gonna be able to casually nap after that lads] Janis: [have to find a way to fill the time] Jimmy: [we know what you wanna do but no no, gutted that you can't even stress smoke in case you wake her up by going outside] Janis: [lmao drag this out for as long as you can without turning him totally purple] Jimmy: [at least you'll have an excuse to do more on her if she's gone harder on you so you don't have to awkwardly sit there] Janis: [we know you're just making out without making out, like, 'cos no excuse for that] Jimmy: [shameless] Janis: [truly, then we just laying here like, 'cos can't even wake Grace up really 'cos need the others to see too so] Jimmy: [we all know she's not the real target audience, so just awkwardly stare at the ceiling and calm down kids cos it's too risky to look at each other rn] Janis: [or say anything, not just 'cos volume] Jimmy: [mhmm but when you feel up to it Jimothy you can take a look at yourself in your phone camera because DO NOT look at her like it's just a job and you're checking out how well she's done] Janis: [when you force yourself to look in his direction finally, 'cos you don't want him to potentially infer anything from your silence, so you watch him do this, and then position your body is a mid-fuck kinda position like, go on then and mime 📸] Jimmy: [at least he can throw himself into the technical aspects of this photoshoot moment like a nerd so he doesn't have to think about how good she looks or how lowkey hot it is that you've gotta just move her around] Janis: [we're all pretending this is purely business, taking our own 📸 of him above you with his] Jimmy: [casual excuse to actually kiss for the 📸 which you think will make this tension better but actually makes it worse] Janis: [so 😤 on the low like thanks a lot] Jimmy: [such good practice for when you have to keep making out and breaking apart in the future as the flat whites go to and fro and a flex that you're so unfazed by any of this that you can stop whenever you want because it's SO fake but such agony actually] Janis: [just staying on your phone like this is casual and you have other things to do] Jimmy: [when I'm gonna start a convo purely because he wants her attention lol] Jimmy: nowt we've forgot is there? Janis: don't think so Janis: go down and get your t-shirt for me to protect my modesty once they get here Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you think you're such a pro at cute, suggest away, like Jimmy: can't bring you a ☕ much as they'd think that were #ultimategoals Janis: missing your steamer? Janis: s'nice Jimmy: have to get steamy in the 🚿 when they show up instead then Jimmy: won't be as cute 💔 Janis: don't put yourself down just 'cos they replace serotonin with caffeine 💘 Jimmy: thinking of you having to put up with me in another confined space Janis: I'm not actually getting in the shower with you Jimmy: [really fake shocked face like what??!] Jimmy: tah for clearing that up, mate, could've been a bit awkward Janis: [pushing him like 🙄] Janis: shut up Jimmy: [mimes 🤐 as he pushes her back so that's lowkey sexy excuse you boy] Janis: [turning your back on him like boy bye but there's 0 way that's not a spooning situation so] Jimmy: [living for the excuse to touch her hair because it's in your grill] Janis: you reckon we should Jimmy: ? Janis: 🚿 Janis: or was you joking Jimmy: don't you want a bit of time behind a locked door? Janis: in an ideal world you wouldn't be there but yeah, 'course Jimmy: forget I am Janis: easier said than done Janis: 😏 Jimmy: 👻 Jimmy: shouldn't be no challenge in it Janis: you leave marks Janis: poltergeist motherfucker Jimmy: [does a there there pat on her back] Jimmy: should've stopped me if I hurt you Janis: [kicking back] Janis: yeah right Jimmy: [retaliates like oi] Janis: [playfight 'I'll hurt you'] Jimmy: ['go on' because we're forever one challenge away from going too far] Janis: ['it doesn't count if you ask for it' but we LOOKING at him] Jimmy: [LOOKING back at her because always 'weren't like I said please'] Janis: ['where are your manners?'] Jimmy: [leans way further in than he needs to for whispering 'not that good of an actor' okay we get it Jimothy you think you're so 😎 and a bad boy but you not okay deal with it] Janis: [when you 'ha!' at practically normal volume such is your disbelief at this, sir] Jimmy: [putting a finger to her lips like shh because why just say it when you could be saucy as hell] Janis: [biting said finger as if this will actually hurt and not just add to this vibe alright] Jimmy: [pulling her hair by that same logic] Janis: [matching that 'fuck-' energy of his from earlier but adding '-you' in any vain attempt at saving face as you take his hand from your hair and pin it above your heads] Jimmy: [1000% is allowing this and is about to kiss her so we're gonna have to say that like Grace's alarm goes off or something to remind y'all what you're meant to be doing here] Janis: [when it's fine that the 'shit!' comes out 'cos it's showtime anyways] Jimmy: [pretend to be asleep kids that way you can take a sec and a deep breath] Janis: [lowkey hiding under these covers rn] Jimmy: [#mood cos Grace is gonna be so shook that Jimmy is here] Janis: [like soz girl] Jimmy: [run to the bathroom gal, it's fine he's not looking at you] Janis: [just don't run out screaming tah] Jimmy: [do we wanna say that the flatwhites all assemble here to get ready so they have to put on more of a show or say they show up in a bit so they don't?] Janis: [hmm, oh, maybe for the drama they show up later like let's ride 'cos obviously they don't KNOW this has gone down so then Mia will be really pissed off with Grace like um why did you not tell us so then they'll be being dicks to her again moreso?] Jimmy: [okay I love that, makes Grace get changed because she's mad, fuck you fashion police] Janis: [something even more unsuitable, lucky you don't break a leg she's already clumsy you know this] Jimmy: [also OMG you know we said they should see Mia cheat on Pablo it should be the boy that Grace was flirting with when they won that activity] Janis: [deffo, like that's what you get] Jimmy: [but for now she's in the bathroom getting ready with music on so like enjoy your awks alone time JJ] Janis: [at least you can get up, 'cos you know she'll be ages, and open the window to get some air] Jimmy: [lowkey just waking your siblings up for school like oi don't be late without me there or sort you out] Jimmy: [*to] Janis: [putting his top on for now, even if it's purely to whip it off when the flat whites arrive 'cos that effortless ladies, cry about it] Jimmy: [like you could put your trousers on boy but we know you won't] Janis: [like makes sense for your purpose but it's so distracting] Jimmy: [clearly you hope it is cos you're still dying over everything that happened and don't wanna be the only one] Janis: [we know you both are but keep doing the most to hide it like that's even possible god bless] Jimmy: [just casually making himself so comfy in this bed she got out of like everything's fine] Janis: [shaking her head] Jimmy: [a look like what?] Janis: [quieter but no need to whisper fully 'do this often?'] Jimmy: [says the 'what?' this time] Janis: [eyes in the direction of the bathroom like, let's not give the whole thing away, yeah 'you know'] Jimmy: ['what kind of question's that?' because imagine if that was the life he was living just fake girlfriends everywhere lol] Janis: [shrugs 'you look very at home'] Jimmy: [🙄 as he makes himself even more comfy, like there's no way he could actually get any sleep til the flatwhites come but that's what he's pretending] Janis: [tuts 'my bed, you know'] Jimmy: [eyes closed and a fake yawn 'not a very #goals attitude that, meant to be about what's yours being mine, as my missus'] Janis: ['yeah, well, I'm meant to hog the covers, not you the entire bed'] Jimmy: ['come here then'] Janis: [human equivalent of ?] Jimmy: [makes space for her and pulls back the covers like you heard me] Janis: [you know this isn't a good idea but look weird if you don't now, like sure let's totally snooze mhmm] Jimmy: [deliberately chucking all the covers over her like 😏] Janis: [cocoons self 'thanks, dick'] Jimmy: [pulls them back off and you think he's gonna start a playfight or be a dick in some way but he just takes the t-shirt off her and throws it back on the floor as if they are actually gonna fall asleep and miss the flatwhites arrival in any way, we see you boy, how intimate and suggestive of you] Janis: [just staring, shooketh 'I might've been cold'] Jimmy: [tucks her back in cos you're a soft boy and you have to make sure she isn't just in case she wasn't joking and snuggling into her because 1.warmth 2. you don't know how long Grace takes in the bathroom 3.lack of space doesn't really give you a choice but to spoon] Janis: ['so weird, new boy' but soft and letting it all happen, obvs] Jimmy: [shhing her but even softer because their weirdness is meant to be a secret if they are gonna be goals and also duh it's sleepy time™ except not at all] Janis: [pressing back into him and turning your head back purely to whisper 'and rude' like gurl] Jimmy: [making a sound because of that movement that we can try and pretend is an exasperated sigh but obviously isn't] Janis: [shhing him like 😏] Jimmy: [writes some kind of insult on her with his fingertip than she won't be able to make out because it's the first time basically] Janis: [excessive wriggling like don't tickle me] Jimmy: [DYING rn so he can't even say anything or do anything but try not to die] Janis: ['shell be forever, you know'] Jimmy: [me just like oh no how am I gonna cockblock this and it's literally been a day lol] Janis: ['your roommate won't be up, is what I'm saying, if we've got any chance of getting a shower today'] Jimmy: [just looking at her because the last thing you wanna do rn is move unless it's closer to her but she obviously can't see you looking at her so you have to say something boy 'you don't reckon that might wake him up?'] Janis: ['I don't reckon he fancies you so much he'll get out of his pit just to 'catch' you in the shower, no' pausing for a bit before shrugging 'it was your idea, like'] Jimmy: ['my idea for when we had an audience' but shrugs back] Janis: ['I'm going then, before we do, be right back' getting up] Jimmy: [obvs going with cos he doesn't wanna stay here on his own] Janis: ['can take it in turns, I weren't saying-' gestures like you know, even though you definitely were you've taken his response as a message to cool down, getting your toiletries and heading for the door] Jimmy: [following her as soon as you've got enough clothes on] Janis: [sneksnek] Jimmy: [take a cold shower it's very much needed] Janis: [let you go first boy] Jimmy: [please don't take forever or she's just there watching her cousin sleep] Janis: [bit weird lmao] Jimmy: [imagine how awks when he comes out and she goes in and they just do that switcharoo that'd be weird too] Janis: [hope you've put more clothes on, you definitely haven't] Jimmy: [soz not soz] Janis: you can go back if you want Janis: or go, if you're over it Jimmy: over what? Janis: waiting for them Janis: we've done shit they'll see still regardless Jimmy: are you saying you're over it? Janis: I'm saying you don't need to sit there whilst I shower if you don't wanna Jimmy: I don't need to do owt I don't want to, and I don't need you to tell me that Jimmy: if you're gonna be ages like your sister, say so Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: don't get your hair wet unless you wanna fake some weird kink, we're meant to be asleep Janis: now you wanna tell me what to do, cam down Jimmy: you started it Janis: God, I was just saying Jimmy: just leave it out instead Janis: whatever Jimmy: it ain't my fault they ain't about yet Janis: it's not mine, either Jimmy: and I ain't being a dickhead to you about it Janis: 1. I weren't, I was literally saying go if you're fed up, how is that anything but polite? 2. hate to see you being a dickhead then Jimmy: 1. Bollocks weren't you, you're saying go 'cause you're fed up which ain't polite when we've got a plan and if we weren't gonna stick to it I wouldn't have bothered to show up at 6 when we could've just pissed about during this punishment Jimmy: 2. yeah, you would Janis: That is not what I'm saying, I'm saying I'm having a shower, that's it Jimmy: if you'd cracked on instead of getting a mard on, you'd be done by now Janis: shut up Jimmy: you Janis: I'm serious Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: stop pissing about Janis: I know how long she takes, you don't Jimmy: I don't care Janis: then I don't care how long I take in relation to you Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [obviously taking longer than you would have but nowhere near Grace levels of long 'cos just not that bitch, casually walking past him back to your room like let's get this done] Jimmy: [follows her again] Janis: [has got hair wet, suck it, got to pretend we had that steamy shower sesh we didn't have there] Jimmy: [is 😒] Janis: [likewise, we'll let the flat whites show as you're drying off said hair like 'good morning ladies'] Jimmy: [at least you can pretend you're 😒 to see them] Janis: [making some joke about morning coffee as you go over to him and hold his face, really like, get it together but fake loving upon him 'cos just so cute] Jimmy: [taking the excuse she's given you to kiss her because you've wanted to for an age] Janis: [enjoy, they're stunned silent rn anyway so take your chance kids] Jimmy: [we know that's why you're really 😒 Jimothy so it'll be an amazing kiss that Mia will just love to witness] Janis: [being so vocal in her disgust 'cos massive snitch and wants them to get caught again] Jimmy: [and not at all casually knocking on the bathroom door cos raging at Grace but she assumes it's Janis so she's like excuse you] Janis: [telling her where the nearest loo is, 'if you're that desperate, like' and smugly reclining on Grace's bunk so the rest of you have to stand around awkwardly in this room that is not big enough for all these people remotely] Jimmy: [Grace doing such an affectionate eye roll at JJ cos you know they being coupley af like she ships it so hard cos 1. she do 2. she doesn't fancy jimmy she's just not a dick to people who serve her coffee and 3. fuck you Mia] Janis: [just cuddling on this bed like y'all not even here and we're just having a moment] Jimmy: [whispering flatwhite shade that you can pretend is sweet nothings cos they'd be so annoyed they can't hear what you're saying] Janis: [giggiling in such an un-you way but it is funny, obvs] Jimmy: [Grace I'm calling you out for not knowing this is fake after hearing that except I'm not because you're not that invested and are just getting ready like a normal person] Jimmy: [shoutout to Jimmy for drawing yet more attention to these lovebites by touching and kissing them in a really soft way like oh I'm so sorry I've got no chill, I hope it doesn't hurt lol lol lol] Janis: [maybe that's how she be with boys, you don't know, let you off gal] Janis: [when you acting like oh my god, gotta hide them but in that LOOK kinda way] Jimmy: [I think Mia should be trying to get Ella or whoever to dob them in for Jimmy being there and Grace is just like chill so they're lowkey having a row in the bathroom] Janis: ['wanna go for breakfast?']

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