#harvey was put down btw did I mention that

[cesium-sheep]

I Desire Spaghetti

[swarvey]

paper rings | harvey x f!reader

Harvey returns to his friends for more advice; you overhear an interesting conversation.

a/n: a.k.a., you two are unbelievably oblivious to each other.

btw, please lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list for this fic!

ch. 2 | ch. 3 | ch. 4

paper rings masterlist

chapter three: how you get the girl -> "remind her how it used to be."

Elliott nodded slowly after listening to Harvey's recap of his meeting with you. The doctor had called both Shane and Elliott for a "quick meeting" at his apartment as soon as he left your farm — though, Shane, unsurprisingly, did not pick up, so he sent him a quick text to come by when he had time.

"So, what do you see as my plan of action?" Harvey asked, fidgeting with his hands. "Should I be . . . direct with her?"

Elliott hummed. “Well, you’ll have to be more than direct, my friend,” he decided, a thoughtful glint lighting his eyes. “It’s been years since you’ve seen her, yes?”

“Yes, I haven’t seen her since she graduated college.” The singular sentence itself saddened Harvey, deflating in his seat. “I’m a horrible friend, aren’t I?”

“Precisely!” Elliott exclaimed, only making his guilt worsen. “After such a prolonged period of time away from each other, does it feel fitting to simply tell her your feelings? No,” he said, before Harvey could put together an answer. “The time you two spend together now is imperative — you must spoil her, cherish her, show her how much you care before you tell her.” 

Suddenly, three knocks sounded throughout the apartment, and Harvey quickly stood to answer it. He opened the door to reveal Shane, a six-pack of beers in hand.

“I was asleep,” he explained bluntly, walking in and taking off his shoes, “but after I heard Marnie going on about the new farmer, I figured we’d need these.” He lifted the drinks, walking over to Elliott before setting them down on the table. “Anyway, I could hear your spiel the entire way up the stairs, pretty boy,” he huffed to his friend, already starting to open three cans. “Can’t say you’re too far off from what I was thinking, which is a first.”

Harvey returned to his seat, gladly taking the beer offered to him. “So, you agree?”

“Pretty much.” 

“My point stands,” Elliott said proudly, taking a victorious sip of his drink. “Now is not the time to rush your sprouting relationship  — good things come with time, as they say.” Shane grunted in agreement, visibly displeased that he was on the same page as him.

Harvey fidgeted with the tab on the can, brows furrowed in thought. “I should get her gifts, then? Or buy her meals?”

“That may prove to be too much,” Elliott replied, shaking his head. “The last thing you want to do is scare her away, friend.”

“Don’t be a kiss ass,” Shane summarized.

The doctor pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. “This is helpless — what am I supposed to do, then?”

“Talk to her,” his friends said in unison, though one sounded much more exasperated than the other.

“Recall the past,” Elliott continued, leaning forward. “The good, the bad; the exhilarating, the mundane, remind her of it all! Then, after remembering the wonderful times the two of you had, she will realize what she has been missing all along has been right in front of her.”

Harvey laughed lightly at the thought. “I doubt she’ll think that,” he sighed. “It’s been so long since we’ve spent time together, not to mention I have no idea if she’s seeing anyone or not.”

“And what if she is?” Shane asked, perking a brow. “I mean, honestly, is the world gonna end? You’ll live, bud, believe me — there are plenty of chicks who dig doctors.”

“I guess you don’t understand,” Harvey replied, shaking his head and staring down at the table. “She’s really been the only one I’ve truly seen myself being with.”

“Bull,” his friend replied, leaning forward in his seat. “You went to college in Zuzu City, didn’t you? No way you didn’t find any girls over there.”

“That’s beside the point.”

“So you didn’t date anyone? ”

“Did I not just say that isn’t the point here?” Harvey looked up to meet Shane’s smirk. “No matter who I’ve seen in the past, no matter who I see from this point forward, my mind has and always will return to her. It’s like I’m drawn to her, like my body gravitates toward her, it doesn’t make sense.”

“My bad, doc,” Shane apologized amusedly. “Didn’t realize you were such a sap.”

“With the right person,” Elliott started, smiling knowingly, “anyone can be a romantic, dear friend. That, I can guarantee.”

Groaning, Harvey leaned forward and let his head drop in his arms, remaining still as his friend comfortingly patted his back.

What have I gotten myself into?

-

You hummed absentmindedly as you walked back into the heart of Pelican Town, the sun finally starting to feel a little warmer on your skin as it steadily rose. You were amazed at how colorful and lively everything looked — the strikingly blue birds, the merrily pink flowers, and even the townsfolk seemed to be blossoming in the spring. You eyed the clinic as you walked past it, noting the makeshift ‘Closed’ sign taped to the door, smiling slightly at the thought of Harvey closing it just for your arrival.

As you made your way into Pierre’s General Store to look at what’s in stock, you were immediately greeted by Pierre himself, his face lighting up as you stepped through the door.

“Hey, it's the new farmer! I'm Pierre, owner of the local general store,” he introduced, meeting you in the middle of the store to shake your hand firmly. “Though, if you rack your brain a bit, you might remember seeing me from time to time as a kid.”

Mouth agape, you scanned the storeowner up and down before exclaiming, “It’s you! Your girlfriend had short green hair, didn’t she?”

“I guess it was shorter back then, so yes! Once girlfriend, now wife, of course,” he corrected, arms crossed proudly as you quietly applauded him. “Glad to see you back in town. Now, I’m sure you know a great deal more about farming than I do, but I do know that my stuff is the best in town.”

And really the only stuff in town, you wanted to say, though you kept your mouth shut. “Good to know,” you replied instead, starting to slowly make your way around the store. “Oh, wow, these are just beautiful! I didn’t know you sold flowers, too.”

You stopped in front of a stand near the register filled with bouquets. The colors ranged wildly, some being a simple white while others flaunted a flash of red. All of them, though, were equally stunning, not to mention they smelled amazing. You immediately thought of Harvey helping you move in, how he had even been willing to close his beloved clinic for a day to set aside time for you.

“How much are these?” you asked, pointing towards the flower stand.

Pierre’s eyes widened slightly as he glanced between your finger and the flowers. “The bouquets?” he clarified. “You’re wondering about the price of a bouquet?”

Confused, you tiled your head. “Yes. Why, are they expensive? I just thought it would be nice to get Harvey a thank-you gift for this morning—”

“Ah, I see!” Pierre exclaimed, cutting you off and laughing loudly. “You know, I typically don’t do this — and don’t expect any more special deals — but I’ll give you one for half off.”

“Thanks, I guess,” you said, mumbling the latter half of your response as you half expected to get one for free. Still, you picked a bouquet with a good mix of all the colors and handed a few coins to Pierre. “Could you point me towards Harvey’s house?”

“Oh, he lives above the clinic,” Pierre replied, quickly counting the coins in his palm before dropping them in the register. He looked up at you with an odd smile, as if he knew something you didn’t. “There’s a door all the way at the back that leads up to his apartment.”

“Thanks. I’ll see you soon, Pierre!” With that, you left the store happily. You were slightly worried Harvey might have locked the clinic’s door, but after tugging it open, you wasted no time finding the door Pierre had told you about.

As you walked up, though, an all too familiar voice made you stop mid-step.

“I guess you don’t understand,” you heard Harvey say. “She’s really been the only one I’ve truly seen myself being with.”

She?

“Bull,” another voice said. “You went to college in Zuzu City, didn’t you? No way you didn’t find any girls over there.”

“That’s beside the point.”

“So you didn’t date anyone? ”

“Did I not just say that isn’t the point here?” You couldn’t say you weren’t stunned. You’d never heard Harvey sound so peeved. “No matter who I’ve seen in the past, no matter who I see from this point forward, my mind has and always will return to her. It’s like I’m drawn to her, like my body gravitates toward her, it doesn’t make sense.”

“My bad, doc. Didn’t realize you were such a sap.”

“With the right person, anyone can be a romantic, dear friend. That, I can guarantee,” a third voice chimed in.

You were shocked. No, more than shocked — in complete, utter disbelief. Harvey? Feeling that way for a girl? You huffed in annoyance, crossing your arms and looking up at the door. For a moment, you were angry your childhood friend hadn’t mentioned anything about this girl of his, but you could hardly blame him. Why would he, after the two of you stopped keeping up with each other regularly? 

You quietly made your way back down the stairs, trying your hardest not to slam the door. As you started to head back to your farm, you ran into the green-haired woman you recognized as Pierre’s wife.

“Oh, hello!” she said happily, smiling brightly at you. “You must be the new farmer! I remember when you were this tall, you know.” She put a hand on her hip, and you smiled as normally as you possibly could back to her.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you replied, desperately wanting to go home. Before you could make your escape, Caroline gasped, looking directly at the bundle of flowers in your hand. Shit.

“My, a bouquet already? Who—”

“They’re for me!” you quickly explained, cursing yourself as you felt your cheeks begin to warm. “I, uh, needed some decoration for my house, and I thought these would do!”

She nodded slowly. “Of course.” Caroline touched your arm lightly before walking towards the store. “Let me know if you need any help settling in, okay? We live right at the back of the store!”

You yelled a quick thanks and practically bolted to the path toward your house, swearing under your breath. Your heart beat heavily in your chest as Harvey’s words kept ringing in your head, for some reason making you more flustered than you normally get.

It’s like I’m drawn to her, like my body gravitates toward her, it doesn’t make sense.

If something didn’t make sense to Harvey, you knew it had to be bad. As you finally opened the door to your home, you collapsed on your bed, bouquet falling beside you. After a few moments, you sat up abruptly, scowling at yourself. Why’d you care so much anyway? You laughed humorlessly at yourself. Honestly, who knew the thought of him having a crush would be that bewildering? He was a grown man, after all, feelings like that were normal. Perfectly normal.

That night, you hung the flowers upside down beside the wall on your bed, hoping they’d dry nicely and make their beauty last.

[howl-fantasies]

A/N - 😬

------- 1 New Message -------

Y/N

Where is Bullock?

Jim Gordon

Why?

Y/N

He sent me something this morning and I wanted to thank him properly.

...

With a rocked launcher slipped directly down his windpipe.

Jim Gordon

It's a no then. Not gonna tell you.

...

What did he send anyway?

Y/N

Did you know he was writing when he temporarily stopped being a cop? During you little vigilante moments.

Jim Gordon

No. He sent you a book?

Y/N

A manuscript actually. He wanted my signature to give him the right to use my name. I suppose he did the same with Vic.

Jim Gordon

Is it a record of your atrocious murders, or an investigation, like Truman Capote wrote?

Y/N

No. It's a fucking fanfiction, Jim.

Jim Gordon

Excuse me?

YN

"(...) there was only one bed"

...

"(...) they hated each other but you can always feel some sexual tension between them"

...

"(...) She didn't wear too much make-up since she prefered a natural look and was already stunning" 👈 dude, I choked. If I don't do my full make up I just look like a gal who lack 10 good hours of sleep.

...

"(...) when she accepted his proposal, he cried for the first time of his life" 👈 I kicked Vic's balls once, like real bad, and the man didn't even shed a tear.

Jim Gordon

Ok. Ok. I got the idea, but it's inoffensive Y/N let him enjoy what he did.

Y/N

DUDE! He even wrote about me being abducted just because the assailants threat was to harm Victor. WHO THE FUCK LET THEIR SELF ABDUCTED WITH A STUPID THREAT LIKE THAT?!

...

1) I value my life greatly so fuck off. 2) It's Vic. The simple mention of his name makes a grown up man burst in tears 🤷🏻‍♀️

Jim Gordon

Look I'll talk to him about it.

Y/N

Yeah and tell him to rewrite your character cause you suck.

Jim Gordon

I'm in his novel?!

Y/N

Yup. But in his version you're in love with Victor and try to compete with me to win his affection.

...

Dude nothing too wrong with that, I mean why not after all. But he painted you as his lost childhood friend who always loved him and in the end put his best friend happiness before his own greed.

...

NO. You want the bastard, blow my head or tie me up to the front of a train, the rails, or just shoot me as you did with that Galavan guy. You have the guts for that!

Jim Gordon

I need to take a seat.

Y/N

Yeah. And to kill Harvey.

Jim Gordon

Now I'm considering it. Thks for the info Y/N.

Y/N

If you need the rocket launcher tell me I'll send it to you.

--------- End of message --------

.

---------- 1 New Message ---------

Mrs Sweetness Zsasz

Did you receive Bullock's manuscript too?

Victor Zsasz

Yup. Currently reading it.

...

It's quite good.

Mrs Sweetness Zsasz

You're fucking kidding me!

Victor Zsasz

I love how you wanted to save me and follow the mean criminals.

...

I also like the end when you retired to live in our mansion with our twins, a boy and a girl, and our loyal dog Dolly.

Mrs Sweetness Zsasz

Fuck you Victor, I'll send Dolly bite your balls. Say goodbye to the twins.

Victor Zsasz

They'll still live a good life in Harvey's book. Foreeeeeever. I signed to give him the rights.

...

Btw I also signed for you since we are married, my love 🖤

Mrs Sweetness Zsasz

I'm gonna burn Harvey, You and this shitty paper on a pyre.

-------- Y/N blocked you --------

A/N - I'm currently watching Barry. Noho Hank is just killing me and I can use some gifs which I think would work with Zsasz's personality 🤣

[puffmamaa]

Elbow Deep: Part 2

Hey, everybody! So here is Part 2. Finally! After racking my brain for daaayss, I was able to find some inspiration to write this. It will be a series btw. My first, so be gracious. I’m sensitive about my shit.

CATCH UP: Part 1.

Pairing: Erik ‘Killmonger’ Stevens x Black, Dark-Skin, Plus Size OC. (Always💛)

Summary: It all started with a plate of hot wings, y’all.

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: Cussing. Use of the N-word. Mention of the death of a parent. Mention of emotional abuse, fatphobia, & cheating in a romantic relationship. And a small mention of Steve Harvey, just in case the thought of his mustache triggers anybody. 🙃

A/N: I had to make some changes. One big one is that Erik isn’t the director of the Wakandan Outreach Center like what was mentioned in Part 1. He actually doesn’t work with it at all. But it’ll all be explained as we go along. Hopefully, it’ll makes sense. If not, I’ma need y’all to just roll with it anyways lol.

Bold, Italic font is inner dialogue.

——

Janessa moved through the gala hall towards her sit, her thick hips swaying between the tables.

“Girl, where the hell did you go? Leaving me here all by myself,” Chantelle, Janessa’s best friend, scowled lowly. She was a tall, fluffy-thick with sepia brown skin that was complimented well by her long, navy gown. Her fluffy burgundy twist was pinned in a cute updo.

“You’re the one who nearly begged to be my plus one. I figured you wouldn’t mind,” Janessa whispered back, tossing her black, waist length locs over her shoulder as she sat down. “Plus, I was hungry and had to find something actually edible.”

“Heffa, you ate without me? What kind of friend…” Chantelle gave her a betrayed look.

“You looked fine picking at that bird food early. Kiki-ing real hard with whoever that guy was.”

“That’s because he looked like he had a little money. But he was a whole cornball. Going on about Steve Harvey being his role model or something. I couldn’t hear shit else after that.”

Janessa scoffed. “You better leave them bootstrappin’ negros alone.”

“I know. I usually wouldn’t even entertain…” Chantelle trailed off. “Who is that guy staring at you?” 

“What?” Janessa replied, looking in the same direction as Chantelle. “Oh. I meet him earlier in the kitchen. We had some wings together.”

“You sure all he wanted was the wings? Cause he’s looking at you like you’re a bowl of gravy. And he’s the biscuit.”

“Girl,” Janessa huffed.

“Uh, uh. He FINE fine.” She squinted her dark brown eyes. “Did you at least give him your number?”

“Hell no. I didn’t come here for all tha—OW!” She yelped.

Chantelle had given her one of those big mama church pinches.

“What the fuck was that for?”

“Letting his delectable ass get away. I should do worse but we in public so I’ll let you live,” she half joked.

Janessa rubbed the sore spot on her thigh and looked over towards Erik. He was staring. And he was fine. It’s not like she didn’t notice before. She definitely did. His smooth brown skin and dark amber eyes. The way his meticulously sculpted facial hair framed his deep dimples. And those lips. She could feel herself starting to overheat. Uh, uh. No Ma’am. To her, a man like that couldn’t be nothing but trouble.

“Girl, I’m good,” Janessa said.

“Nah. You trippin’, is what you is,” Chantelle huffed, turning her attention back to the stage.

—

“And now for a particularly special part the evening. My favorite, I might I add...”

Erik tuned out the sound of T’Challa’s voice. All he could focus on was the beautiful woman in white and the way her dark, umber colored skin glistened against her bright dress. Janessa. The woman he’d just spent over half an hour eating hot wings with. The woman he’d felt oddly comfortable with in such a short period of time. The same woman he let leave his presence without asking her out or at very least, getting her number.

To be honest, Erik didn’t usually have to ask. Women would sell their panties for a chance to get at him. He even had to keep a few beckies at arm’s distance throughout the night. But not her. She actually walked her fine, plump ass out of the kitchen without so much as a second glance back. It hit him in his ego, he’d had to admit. But it also made him more interested in her.

Erik moved from his spot on the wall, eying a way to get over to her.

“Hey—Wait a minute, aren’t you from Wakanda? A short, thin-lipped white man asked.

“No.” Erik said blankly, attempting to move past him.

“Yes! I remember seeing you with the King before. Wa...W’kabi, isn’t it?

“Hell nah,” Erik flared his nostrils. “Ain’t nobody ever tell you it’s rude to talk during presentations?”

“Oh! Well, I didn’t me—“

“Yeah, uh huh,” Erik said inching away. He scanned the room. I just had my eyes on her...

“...so let’s give a round of applause to our honoree, The 2019 Most Influential Community Leader of the Year, Janessa James!”

Erik snapped his neck around so fast he swore he heard it crack. He looked up to see Janessa on stage exchanging a handshake and hug with T’Challa.

—

“I’m so proud of my baby!” Chantelle squeezed her arms around Janessa’s neck. “The best Director East Oakland Community Outreach Center has ever seen and now being honored by the King? My bestie is a bad boosh!”

“Thanks, girl!” Janessa hugged her back just as tight. “But you know we all put in hella work for the community. What would I do without my Assistant Director, holding me down?”

“Well, shit let me hold the award then.” She said taking the plaque from her bestie.

“Congratulations, Janessa!” Shuri hugged her from behind. “I’m so glad you and the center are getting the exposure you deserve!”

“I should be thanking you too. All you’ve done with helping us start the STEM program,” Janessa beamed at the teenage genius.

Shuri shot her a big smile. She had spent the last year partnering with the East Oakland Community Outreach Center. Her work introduced the youth in the community to STEM education they wouldn’t regularly have access to in their underfunded school system. She loved the center and had built meaningful relationships with so many of the people there.

“You are too kind. You know, I...” Shuri turned around slowly, feeling a large yet familiar presence behind her.

“Congratulations. I didn’t know you were being awarded tonight,” Erik said to Janessa, slowly moving his cousin out of the way.

“How do you two know each other?” Shuri questioned.

“We met earlier,” Erik replied, not taking his eyes off Janessa.

“There he goes with that staring again,” Chantelle teased as she moved to greet him. “I’m Chantelle. Janessa’s best friend.” She extended a hand to him.

He smiled and took it. “Erik.”

“MMhmmp! Look at those dimples. Deep enough to hide from the police in,” She chirped.

Janessa chuckled. Her friend was so damn extra.

Erik turned his attention back to Janessa. He look her over slowly and licked his juicy lips. “I was thinking, since we had such a good time earlier, how about I treat you to a real meal?” He ran his knuckle down the length of her arm.

Janessa raised an eyebrow at him, flicking his finger off of her. “Uh, no. I’m good,” she scoffed.

Erik and Chantelle both cocked their necks back.

“You good?”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, are you busy or something? Cause I can do lunch too.”

“No. Well, I am a busy woman. But that’s not why I’m not interested. I just...don’t want to.”

“You don’t want to? Why?” Erik was genuinely confused. He did not expect her to turn him down. “I thought we were vibin’ back there.”

“We had a nice little conversation. A cute time. But that doesn’t mean I owe you a date.” Janessa said in a harsh tone.

“And I—oop.” Shuri yelped.

Chantelle’s jaw damn near hit the floor. She knew her friend to pull no punches with men but she was laying it on extra thick with Erik.

“Come on, baby girl.” Erik ran a hand over his hair. “You serious right now?”

“As a heart attack, baby boy.”

Erik furrowed his brows.

“Well, we’ve got to get going. Bye Shuri. I’ll see you later,” Janessa gave Shuri a quick hug.

She gave Erik a cold once over and turned back at Shuri. “Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

She grabbed Chantelle, whose mouth was still wide open, and headed towards to exit. Erik stood there, still thrown off at the scene that just played out.

Shuri exploded with laughter. “Now, N’Jadaka. I thought you said you had ‘the juice’.”

She patted her baffled cousin on the back and walked away, still giggling.

—

“BITCH, what the hell?” Chantelle pressed hand to Janessa’s forehead. “Did you bump your head or some shit? That fine ass man just asked you out. Not only did you decline, but you left that poor baby with half his face on the floor,” She laid her head back against the seat, still in shock at her friends actions.

“He’s a grown ass man. He’ll be just fine. And like I said to you and him, I’m good,” Janessa bent down to remove her heels. “I know his type. Arrogant. Smooth. And rude as fuck. Talking about ‘Let me treat you to a meal.’ Because I’m a big girl, I must want to eat? Tuh! And did you see him touch me? Uh, uh. He’s probably used to having his way with women.”

“If I were you, I would have let him have his way with me,” Chantelle retorted.

“I’d rather not be number ‘umpeenth’ on his hit it and quit it list.”

“That‘s a damn shame,” Chantelle shook her head. “He look like he got good dick. The kind you need right about now. That ‘let him drop you off at your job in your car’ kind of dick.”

“Well, I guess we’ll never find out.”

“Speak for yourself. I’ma see if his ass is on BLK.” Chantelle pulled out her phone and stated swiping through her apps.

Janessa gave her a vicious side-eye.

“OKAY. I’m was just playing, damn.” Chantelle said as putting her phone away. She pulled out the parking lot and headed back towards their neighborhood.

—

Janessa pushed her large black rimmed glasses further up her face and streched her body in her plush office chair. She rubbed her hands down her high waisted olive colored pants and adjusted her long-sleeved, cream colored wrap top. She sighed as she pulled her long ponytail of locs over her shoulder. The center was preparing for its Annual Juneteenth Celebration. Which meant more work added to her already full schedule. But she couldn’t complain too much. It was her favorite event of the year. The whole block came out; youth, elders, and everyone in between. They’d have spades and uno games going. Basketball and baseball competitions. And a huge cookout, where the women would argue over who made the best potato salad while the men drank Coronas and grilled meat. But the best part was the ending ceremony. Everyone would meet in the basement of the center. One of the griots would tell stories of their ancestors and their survival through middle passage and slavery. The youth would give dance performances and skits, inspired by the favorite Black icons and moments in history. At the end, they would pray and sing songs to pay respect and homage to those that came before them. It was a beautiful day and never failed to bring Janessa to tears. Seeing her culture celebrated so proudly across generations really touched her heart.

A small knock at her door shook her out of her thoughts.

“Come in.”

“Hey, boss lady,” Chantelle smiled, walking into the office. She sat down in one of the chairs in front her friend’s crowded desk.

“Hey, Channy,” Janessa said, “What’s up?”

“Derek just checked today’s delivery. The order for the sports equipment was short.”

“Short? That’s not possible. I doubled checked the numbers myself,” Janessa furrowed her brows. “Did they mix up the order or something.”

“Nope. We both checked the invoice. I wasn’t a mistake on their end.”

“That can’t be right…” Janessa let out a deep sigh. She pressed a button on her office phone, buzzing her assistant. “Tandy, can you come here for a second?”

She was met with low giggles and whispers from the other end.

“Tandy?” She said a little louder.

“Oh! Hey, what‘s up?”

“I asked if can you come into my office.”

“Um yeah, hold on.”

Tandy entered Janessa office holding her cell in her hand. She was tall, slim and light-brown skin with a short brown TWA.

“You rang?” She said in a sing-songy voice.

Chantelle groaned.

“You ordered the sports equipment, right?”

“Yeah, I did. Why?”

“Well, only about half came. And based on the invoice, it’s because the wrong order was placed. Did you order thirty, like I asked?”

“Thirty? Girl, I thought you said thirteen. My bad.”

Janessa rubbed the bridge of her nose.

Chantelle gave Tandy a wide-eyed look.

“Tandy. I sent it in an email. And I told you in person. Twice.”

“Ohh, Pffhhtt! I don’t be checking that email like that,” Tandy let out a short laugh. “You want me to order more?”

“No, Tandy,” Janessa tried to remain calm and professional. “They wouldn’t be here in time anyways. I’ll take care of it.”

She shrugged. “Okaay. Well, do you need anything else from me?”

“No, that’s all.”

“Cool. I’ma go head and take my lunch then,” She exited the office, giggling at something on her phone as she closed the door.

Janessa threw her head back and let out a loud groan.

“I swear that girl is gonna be the death of me.”

“I don’t know how you deal with it. Between all the attitude and incompetence. Girl I can’t,” Chantelle shook her head in disbelief.

“Who you telling? If it’s not her constantly messing something up, she’s flirting with any breathing body that walk through the door,” Janessa rolled her eyes. “Last week I caught her getting fresh with the damn UPS man. And don’t get me started on the volunteer sign up. She ‘forgot’ to update the dates on the form and now we’re short-handed for this weekend.”

“Two words: New Assistant.”

Janessa sighed, “I know, I know. But I’m trying to give her a chance, you know? She’s young and needs experience. And you know it’s hard for us. What’s the point of me being in this position if not to put other Black women on?”

“I hear you. But for one, she’s not that much younger than us. And for two, she obviously doesn’t take her job seriously. I get your trying be patient and understanding, but you got to consider the big picture. It seems like she’s adding more stress to your load than anything.”

“Yeah, you’ve got a point,” Janessa rolled her lips, looking off into the distance.

“Listen,” Chantelle rubbed her hands over her knee-length black dress. “There’s something else I needed to talk to you about.”

“Okay. What is it?”

“That whole scene the other night, at the gala.”

“Girl, I know you’re not still on that.”

“Yeah, well you were kind of doing the most, friend. What was up with that?”

“I told you. I don’t trust guys like him.”

“But you don’t know him,” Chantelle said. “He could be a decent guy. I mean, he was cool enough for you to eat chicken wings with. What could a date hurt?”

“Why are you defending him? You don’t know him either.”

“I’m not defending him. I’m looking out for you,” She scooted closer to the desk, looking Janessa in the eyes. “I’ve seen you shut down almost ever guy who shows any kind of interest in you. I know men can be trash but you don’t have to give up on all of them. Everybody isn’t Andrew.”

Janessa shifted uncomfortably at the sound of her ex-boyfriend’s name. “What does he have to do with anything?”

“I mean you haven’t really dated anyone seriously since him. And it’s been years now.”

“So what? Being single is a problem? Turning down some stupid ass niggas who just want to waste my time is wrong?” She scowled in a defensive tone.

“No. It’s just...I worry about you sometimes. I know between dealing with Drew and what happened with you dad, it’s been hard for you to—.”

“I said, I’m fine. Okay?” Janessa fingered the sun-shaped pendant on her necklace. ”Look, I need to pick up this equipment while I have some extra time.”

“Nessa, I’m didn’t mean to upset you,” Chantelle grabbed her hand.

“I’m cool,” Janessa snatched her hand back. She stood up, grabbing her denim jacket and purse. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

Chantelle sighed, walking out of the office with her. “Okay.”

—

Janessa rushed through Joyner’s Sporting Goods, one of the only Black-owned sporting good stores in the city. She hated last minute shopping. But she obviously couldn’t trust her assistant with a simple task. Plus, she needed to get out the office. Chantelle’s comments had gotten to her. She knew she meant well, but her relationship with Andrew was a sensitive topic for her. He was her first everything, including her first heartbreak. She met him right after her father passed. He took advantage of her vulnerability and insecurity, always insinuating she wasn’t pretty enough or needed to lose weight. In the end, he winded up leaving her for some chick he was sleeping with while they were still together. Janessa was a complete mess after that. Chantelle was the one who helped her keep it all together. She didn’t have any other family around since her father was basically a single parent. Chantelle was even the one who encouraged her to start volunteering at the center in the first place. She was all Janessa had.

“Damn. I should have gotten a cart.” Janessa said as she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. She shifted the stuff in her arms around to answer.

“Hello?”

“Hey. Just checking your ETA. We still have some details we need you to finalize for this weekend.” Chantelle said through the phone.

“I’m still in Joyner’s but I should be finished soon,” Janessa sighed, shuffling her weight between her feet. “Channy, I’m sorry about earlier. I know I was a little rude. It’s just all that stuff...I don’t have time for it right now.”

“Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have brought it up while you were working. I was just concerned,” she said.

“I know. And I appreciate it. You’re always looking out for me.”

“And you know this,” Chantelle joked. “For both you and your lil nani, at this point. Because I’m concerned for her too.”

Janessa let out a loud laugh. She turned around to continue her shopping and smacked right into a shelf, knocking everything out of her arms.

“Shit,” Janessa yelped.

“You okay?” Chantelle asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Janessa sighed, trying to balance her phone between her shoulder and ear as she kneeled down. “I just need to hurry up and get out of here.“

“You need some help?”

Janessa looked up in the direction of a familiar voice. Standing there was Erik, with a smug little smirk on his handsome face. He wore a black hoodie that read ‘Lost Tribe’, black basketball shorts, and all black Air Max 90’s. His locs hung loosely to one side.

“Aw hell,” She whispered, still crouched down. “Not you.”

“Look Too Tough, I’m just trying to help. With your short, little arms I don’t think you can hold all that and run ya mouth on the phone at the same time,” He teased, leaning on his shopping cart.

“Huh? Who was that?” Chantelle questioned.

“Nobody. I’ll talk to you later,” Janessa quickly hung up and turned her attention back to Erik. “Too tough? Really nigga?”

“Yea, cause that’s how you was acting the other night,” He grinned, his gold slugs gleaming.

“Whatever,” She tried to grab some of her stuff off the floor. “I’m good, I got it.”

“You good,” Erik mocked, squatting down to help her. “What you need with all these toys, anyways? You got kids?”

“And if I do? Will that get you to leave me alone?”

“Nah. Kids love me,” He placed a couple of baseball bats in the cart.

Janessa rolled her eyes and pursed her lips. “Well, for your information, nosey. I don’t have any kids. These are for the center I work at.”

“Riight. Director of the East Oakland Community Outreach Center. Most Influential Community Leader of the Year.”

“You’ve been stalking me or something?”

Erik chuckled, “No, but I do tend to research things that interest me.”

Janessa snorted, rolling her eyes harder. “You’re laying it on pretty thick there, sir.”

”I could say the same for you and all your attitude, ma’am.”

Janessa let out a long sigh. This nigga got an answer for everything.

“Look, I still have more shopping to get done and other places to be. So, I can’t stand here and chat with you all day.”

“Cool, me too. Let’s go.” Erik grabbed the cart, and turned around. He pushed it towards the next aisle. Janessa reluctantly followed. She didn’t really need a shopping buddy but that didn’t stop Erik from grabbing her shopping list and picking things out. She attempted to regain control over her shopping trip but Erik wasn’t having it. Eventually she relented, figuring it was easier to let him take over instead of fighting him in the middle of the store. She tried to keep the conversation at a minimum but that was damn near impossible with all the questions he asked. Eventually, she told him more about her work at the center, including the Juneteenth Celebration. He told her that he owned and operated his own fitness studio, which made sense as to why he seem to know the store like back of his hand. And why he was built like a fucking brick wall. Janessa had to catch herself from staring at his body every time he turned away or bent down. But before she realized it, she found herself actually enjoying his company. Well, for a second time.

They both checked out and headed towards the parking lot. Janessa unlocked her car and popped the trunk. Erik pulled the shopping cart towards it and loaded her bags inside.

“Thanks,” she said jingling her keys in her hands.

“No problem,” Erik closed the trunk. “Honestly, I’m surprised you’re letting me help you, Too Tough.”

Janessa laughed at the nickname this time. “Are you always this corny?”

“You could find out if you let me take you on a proper date.”

“Haven’t we done this already?”

“Yeah, when you shot me down in front of all those people and left me heartbroken in the middle of the floor. Only to twirl away and out the door with your friend,” Erik recited, dramatically flaring his hands. “Yet here I am, brave enough to try again. You gonna go easy on a nigga this time?”

Janessa rolled her eyes. “That was me being easy on you.”

Erik let out a light laugh, “I couldn’t tell. I mean damn, ma. You act like I got the cooties or something.”

Janessa noticed his face soften a little. She sighed. “Listen, I got a lot going on right now. Things have been crazy hectic at work. And this weekend is approaching fast. I have tons of things to do. Paperwork to review. Hella meetings to attend. And I still have to figure out how to replace the volunteers we lost,” Janessa took a long breath to stop her ranting. “I don’t have the time for this.”

“Volunteers?”

“Yeah, we’re short a bunch of volunteers for the celebration.”

“Hmm,” Erik rub his hand through his beard. “You know, I’m free this weekend.”

“What?”

“I’m saying, I can stop by and help out. Whatever you need.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. On one condition, though.” Erik moved closer and lowered himself to meet her height, his nose almost touching hers. The scent of his cologne teased Janessa’s nostrils. Damnit, he smells good.

“And what’s that?” She said, bringing herself back to the conversation.

“You agree to go out with me.”

Janessa squinted her eyes at him. She wasn’t in a position to turn down volunteers, especially if she wanted this event to go off without a hitch.

Erik raised an eyebrow at her, a smirk dancing on his lips.

“Fine. I’m sure your brolic ass could help with some of the heavy lifting.”

Erik shot her a big grin and licked his lips. “Perfect.”

Janessa gave him the center’s contact information and a copy of the event flyer before getting into her car.

“Aight, Too Tough. I’ll see you this weekend.” Erik said.

She pursed her lips lightly. “See you, Erik.”

He winked and jogged off in the opposite direction.

Janessa started her car and pulled out the lot. As she drove, her thoughts drifted to Erik. His persistence was annoying as fuck. But at the same time, kind of cute? She thought about what Chantelle said earlier. Maybe she could give him a chance. It’s just one date.

She let out a deep sigh. The whole thing still made her feel uneasy. Erik was a charming motherfucker. She knew that too much of him and she’d be like Jill Scott, singing about grits and shit.

She clutched her necklace, fiddling with the sun-shaped pendant.

It was going to be an interesting weekend.

——

Taglist: @essaysbyciara @janelledarling @destinio1 @bitchacho25 @chaneajoyyy @quietstorm-73 @lifelover4u

Let me know what y’all think!

Like, comment, & reblog!

🌞

[interesting-blog-name]

SLIGHTLY NEW ALBUMS I LIKED (Little Simz - GREY Area; Monsune - Tradition; Backxwash - God Has Nothing to Do With This Leave Him Out of It)

More loose reviews that I write and instantly want to get out of my Word document and into Tumblr without much of an overlaying theme between the albums or any planning as to which ones I’ll be releasing at which point, but it is what it is. This time I’ll be compiling some recent-ish albums I’ve enjoyed, two of which I’ve come to know from TheNeedleDrop (I try not to watch reviews before writing down my opinion btw), and one EP from an artist I like. Here it is.

Little Simz – GREY Area

Little Simz, the 26-year-old British rapper, is an artist I’ve loved the first time I heard her, when I listened to Selfish for the first time and saw her cover of Feel Good Inc. in triple-j’s Like A Version. Today, May 30th, I was planning on listening to White Chalk by PJ Harvey, but from what I read, it’s a pretty depressing album, and I’m not in the mood for that right now, so I picked GREY Area from my future listening list.

It’s really nice to hear a rap album like this once in a while. The instrumentation is organic and well thought out, her flow is amazing, and her lyrics have so much substance and personality to them, ranging from the happier, more reminiscent tone in 101 FM to the much more aggressive tracks Offence, Boss, Venom and Pressure, she’s always giving her take on life, telling the experience of what it’s like being a black person with big dreams in England, seeing friends die while she tries to go somewhere in life through music.

The main tone she picks for her self-narrative is an unapologetic view of the world around her; she tells the listener: “’til now I ain’t ever been the selfish type, ‘till now I ain’t ever told nobody no, don’t get it twisted. This shit ain’t happen overnight” in the biggest song off here, Selfish, featuring the most calming and lavish pianos and violins in this album, and an amazing feature by Cleo Sol on the hook. Pressure features an amazing batch of verses all about. Same thing with the intro, Offence, with its bold, empowering chorus; although the track comes off more playful with its cartoonish sound effects nearing the end than the raw message of the track mentioned previously. A great, high-spirited track to start off the album.

What isn’t as high-spirited is the next track, Boss, or, to be fair, almost all the other tracks in the album. Boss is a big fuck you to anyone you might dedicate the song to: the hook has Simz’s most aggressive delivery in the whole record, and the entire message is about getting over those who hurt you and coming up.  The second verse is something else.

Wounds, featuring Jamaican singer Chronixx, deals mostly with the gun/crime problem ever-so-present in marginalized communities all around the world, and she tells the story from the perspective of both herself and as a companion of the “gun man”, repeatedly mentioned in the song (“When a gun man only knows self-hate, them bullets show no love”). I’m not super crazy for Chronixx’s hook, or the much slower tempo of the track, but it fits well with the groovy instrumental. Venom, on the other hand, is a super exciting, menacing song. She goes all out over the violins playing in the background, but unfortunately, the track burns twice as bright to last half as long.

To lighten the mood a bit, 101 FM brings the most electronic instrumental, with cheerful, banging 808s and synths, and lyrics about her come up as a rapper, probably the verses where her British accent and slang dominate the most, giving them a more personal feel somewhat. Pressure doesn’t feature the most compelling instrumental or hooks in here – the Little Dragon refrain is mixed very poorly and the vocalist just doesn’t do a great job -, but the verses compensate for that, especially the first one, probably one of the most heartfelt and important ones in this album. Therapy talks about Simz’s struggles with finding comfort in therapy. The instrumental is average for the project, but still slaps, so that’s nice.

Sherbet Sunset is an ode to a broken relationship, and a theme that could be handled so poorly by other artists is handled masterfully by Little Simz. In three verses, she displays so many sides to what I assume is one relationship, so many emotions and thoughts that she shares, it really feels like she’s transcribing something of a focused, bright mind rush over the track, and it amazes me how she can reveal her feelings so well on a track like this, progressing from the regret of not seeing how it’d go wrong, to the anxiety that comes from spending all that time for seemingly nothing, to coming to terms with it in the last verse (although not quite). It’s a stunning song now that I listen to it again.

To close it all off, we have Flowers, mainly a tribute to various artists from the 27 club, with mentions of Jimi Hendrix and Amy Winehouse in the verses, trying to relate to their struggles with drug addiction and quick fame. It’s incredibly powerful and a great finisher.

I don’t dislike one track in GREY Area. It’s well conceived, a great statement, it really feels like she gives her all to make every track memorable, and even though her delivery is mostly monotone throughout the whole album, that also works to her favor, as she has a very unique and recognizable voice. So the lyrics are extremely well written, and the only reason I don’t give more examples of that is because I got a whole lot of school shit to do, the instrumental work is clean and precise, and I don’t have a whole lot to complain about. Check this shit out if you haven’t.

 FAVORITE TRACKS: 101 FM, Venom, Selfish, Offence, Boss, Pressure

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK: lol nah

 8.7/10

“Why you wanna all dress lies as truth? Have you ever seen what silence do? I don’t wanna see no violent troops putting out fires that haven’t been started”

 Monsune – Tradition

Damn I did not expect to like this as much as I did.

Monsune is a Chinese-Canadian singer who has recently been gaining some popularity from his amazing song OUTTA MY MIND, which features a funky bassline and high-pitched guitar playing that some have compared to Childish Gambino, specifically his album “Awaken, My Love!”. I decided to check out this short EP by him to see if he had anything more to offer, and it’s safe to say, he does.

The first track off Tradition already shows what this guy can do with his production. It starts off with the same vibe off of his previously mentioned biggest track, but on steroids: a prominent bassline, pitch-altered backing vocals, sunny guitars, and drowned out drums. His voice is also reaching higher notes in this song than in OUTTA MY MIND, but then in the middle of the song it all slows down for a very welcome beat change that shifts the song from this summer anthem to a very chill R&B tune. It’s amazing stuff, although I don’t understand why he chose to put some very noticeable autotune in this part.

CLOUD is my least favorite from the EP, but it’s still a very solid song, it’s just not amazing. The bass is still very strong, and the bridge later on in the song is addictive as shit. After that track comes OUTTA MY MIND, and then his style completely switches in MOUNTAIN, which starts off with some solo guitar and his low, beautiful singing. It’s actually really moving for some reason lol. It then picks up in the hook, the drums kick in along with what I assume is a keyboard, and his voice reaches the top of his range for the backing vocals, it’s a very well-made song.

JADE finishes Tradition off extremely beautifully, with a smooth acoustic guitar intro over a nice-ass bass, some ethereal, trippy scenes of Monsune floating over the ocean and appearing out of thin air in front of you (probably not you, the listener). And then all of a sudden this madman screams off the top of his lungs in the middle of the track and I fucking love it.

The flaws this EP has are mostly related to the mixing, which I think can be a little too harsh in some sections such as the big breakdowns in JADE and MOUNTAIN. Plus, I know lyrics aren’t a focus on a project like this, but it would be nice to get something more than love songs in the future perhaps. Still, loving this EP, so glad I checked Monsune out. You should too.

 WORST TO BEST: CLOUDS, 1998, JADE, OUTTA MY MIND, MOUNTAIN

 8/10

“Don’t you wanna come down? Cause I’m so bored of walking on the same old sky”

 Backxwash – God Has Nothing to Do With This Leave Him Out of It

God Has Nothing to Do With This Leave Him Out of It is an album by American rapper Backxwash, who received a new wave of attention after Anthony Fantano reviewed this album in his channel and gave it a decent 8. I haven’t watched the review yet, but I was interested in checking it out because of the high score, and especially since when I looked it up on Spotify, the songs only had around 8000 views.

Dark subject themes and the whole dark trap aesthetic are the core of this album. I, personally, have always been a fan of aggressive, heavy rap music, from more underground names like gizmo and Fukkit, to the more mainstream variant of these sounds, like XXXTENTACION. This album, however, operates in somewhat of a separate lane.

Many of the dark, edgy rap I used to listen to religiously back in the day was borderline mindless. Shit about ripping someone open, hollow flexing, except separated from mainstream rap only because the rapper in question is screaming their brains out when talking about designer clothes, instead of mumbling like your average Lil Baby, and, of course, personal problems, depression, being mad about whatever it was. Unlike its other contemporaries, however, it seems Backxwash has much more thought and elaboration into what she wants to yell about. Instead of hiding behind bass-boosted rather formulaic instrumentals, she takes the more scenic route, with still very dark, but more intricate gothic beats, sampling various religious speeches and implementing them into songs about black magic and overall unhappiness. The Black Sabbath sample that opens up this album should be enough for any listener to immediately understand what they’re about to get into, as the title track brings heavy percussion and some of the most graphic lyrics in the album, which it already doesn’t lack. Lines about downing pills and vodka, contemplating suicide, and blank vocalizations of anger (“I want war with these bitches, I want corpses and weapons”).

The track that resembles an average edgy Soundcloud rap song the most is Black Magic right after, with its own interpretation of the “ay” flow, shouted with a tone reminiscent of someone like Craig Xen. The big difference comes with the much grander production, especially the growling guitars that get introduced halfway, reminding the listener of Backxwash’s skill as a producer. From what I could tell, she was responsible for the production of the tracks in here, and considering there are no vocal guests except for Malldate’s quick appearance in Into The Void, I’m assuming the features listed in the tracklist are all producer credits as well, the feature in this track being Ada Rook, providing the amazing guitar work for this song.

Spells is mixed for me. I don’t enjoy the attempted singing in the chorus, and it falls completely flat to my ears; the beat is hard as ever, but the lyrics feel slightly disconnected with each other. At one point, she’s talking about going to Hell to her mom, at the other she mentions doors opening and closing in an office and how there’s no one in some corridor, and it doesn’t go anywhere from that, with lines such as “heart is so dead with tissue” not exactly evoking any sort of emotion or imagery.

Black Sheep is the most effective song out of the first four; it seems to filter all the positive aspects of the other tracks and package them into one quick serving. The beat is chaotic and in a constant state of unrest, the lyrics are centered and aimed at various of Backxwash’s problems in life, such as her father, people who want to bring her down and put her “in line on the X and O’s”, and overall venting. After that comes a brief interlude, the first of two that don’t have much use in the album except as pallet cleansers. It’s followed by Into The Void, a track that mentions her paranoia of being harassed and possibly killed when walking around in the streets and the deli. It’s haunting, and definitely the best song in here; it is laser-focused in the exact way I wished the previous tracks would be. Her vocal delivery is extremely expressive, and she tells the story in a way that gives the listener a brief, but at the same time immense glimpse of the reality that trans people face and have to go through, in a morbid fashion.

Adolescence is very short and eases the pace a bit after the intense emotions of the last. It’s a message to her younger brother that quickly descents into a confession of her inner struggle, mentioning possible overdoses and being too old for the 27 Club and fearing going to therapy. What’s great about this song is the fact that, even in such a short amount of time and with a less explosive instrumental, Backxwash manages to evoke her emotions so well; this is definitely what she does best in this record, and it overcomes the times where her delivery is flawed and her words are slurred and hard to understand. After this comes Amen, and holy fuck is this an angry song. Criticizing the hell out of the church, Backxwash comes at greedy pastors and their irresponsible spending when the churchgoers who support him are in need. My big problem with this song is the fact that the hook, as impassionate as it is, doesn’t do much for the subject, and the verse is way too short to have any impact with its theme. Lines like “these politicians politicking” don’t help much either.

The very distorted second interlude, Heaven’s Interlude, takes us to the last track, Redemption, the least intense song in here, which is appropriate as a sendoff. She expresses her frustrations towards her dad’s frustrations towards her being trans, and while the entire sentiment of the song is great and well formulated, I can’t find a way around the lines “Fuck these fucking boomers, fuck these fucking losers. Fuck theses motherfucking fuckers in their fucking two truck. Fuck these fuck(sic)abusers, and fuck these fucking rumors.”, they just emanate Limp Bizkit energy.

God Has Nothing to Do With This Leave Him Out of It is a very passionate, real, well produced and well-conceived album; it bears themes that are immensely important to be brought to the music scene, and by mixing that message with its explosive and polished production, it amplifies it a ton. However, as powerful as her deliveries are, I believe Backxwash can go much further with her songwriting and song structuring in the future, as well as her intonation, because that was really all that was keeping this album from being legendary. If she can do more of this in songs that are longer and super focused around whichever topic she decides, she can make something legendary. And thank God she got reviewed by Fantano, I hope she can take this opportunity and make something huge out of this.

 FAVORITE TRACKS: Into The Void, Black Sheep, God Has Nothing to Do With This Leave Him Out of It, Adolescence, Black Magic

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK: Spells

 7.7/10

“Chosen one, sad bitch, lowest scum. Coldest, huh, black sheep talk to ‘em. If the situation changed I would have said the same shit, exactly the same.”

[allthingshb-blog]

Another Interview!

Readers, I have been lucky enough to get another interview with an Archie Writer. His name is Bill Vallely, who is currently self publishing. His book, Tips to Prevent Dry Eye...That Work! Is coming out this January. It’ll be done in graphic novel form, with some jokes to lighten up the subject matter,  and looks super interesting, so be sure to check it out even if you don’t have dry eye! 

Anyway, without further ado, here it is!

Susan Michaels:  Tell me more [about how the relaunch of Harvey Comics was your idea].

BV: Back in the late 80s, my writing partner, Mark McClellan, had a roommate who was connected to Jeffrey Montgomery. Jeff was looking to start a comic book company. I suggested that Harvey Comics had characters everyone already knew (Casper, Richie Rich, etc) that were stuck in legal limo. Why roll the dice to create something new when properties that were well known were just sitting there, gathering dust? Montgomery’s business model was to focus on marketing Casper t-shirts, mugs, key chains, etc. Later he decided that the real money was in feature films and Direct to Video films.  BTW, I'm getting ready to release my first self published graphic novel - "Tips To Fight Dry Eye ... That WORK!"

SM: Wow, I really like the cover for that!Here are some questions I have: (If there are too many or you can't answer, just let me know)What was your favorite/least favorite franchise to write for in the HB Archie? What was your favorite/least favorite character? What was it like writing for Archie, as a whole?SusanISo I learned that one of the characters, Scrappy, who was disliked by the fandom, had a new version of the character in hopes of “reviving” him to the fandom, but in the end was unceremoniously dropped after slowly having more infrequent appearances. Is that true? What's the story behind that?

BV: No question, my favorite character to write for was Mr. Spacely in “The Jetson”. He had an energy and anger that made him a lot of fun to write for.  What I loved most was working with the most underrated man in comics, Sid Jacobson. Sid co-created Richie Rich, Little Dot - most of Harvey’s characters. (Casper started as an animated cartoon. That Casper was very different from the one we know now.) I’ve never been very fond of Casper. He always struck me as being kinda mop.

SM: Casper's older then I thought...do you know anything about the aforementioned Scooby question?

BV: Well, Scrappy did wind up being the bad guy in the Scooby Doo feature film.He was an attempt to bring life to an old franchise that had mixed results. There are those who loved Scrappy - and then there people like me.

SM: Gotcha. I was talking about his Archie incarnation-I heard that the "animosity was too great" and things went south from there?

BV: This was a very weird period for me. I had been hired to be Humor Editor for a comic book version of Penthouse Magazine - it was called "Penthouse Comix". I was editing Adult Comics during the day and writing Yogi Bear at night. I was largely out of the loop then.

SM: Oh, got it. That must have been quite intense. While we're still on the subject of Scooby though, do you remember a villain you created called "The Gray One"?

BV: That was mine.Yup.I wrote that story mostly to create a secret agent called "R.U." I did that strictly so I could write the line, "Scooby Doo, where's R.U.?"

SM: I noticed in the story the Gray One's perception of the gang was a little...skewed, and since sometimes other writers of the comic had the gang acting rather differently, I was wondering if that was commentary on that.

BV: I wanted to play with the formate a bit.Try pushing the characters in directions they hadn't gone before.Telling a story from the criminals point of view, then finding out that he was fooled all along, struck me as being fun.

SM: It was. 

BV: What I wanted to do was show that all the villains the Mystery Machine fought in the past had ganged up to take down our heroes, but sadly that was not to be.Aw, you only said that because it's true.

SM: Yep! So past villains ganging up on the Scooby gang? What happened to that idea? I mean it doesn't seem to have seen the light of day, but what happened there?

BV: The thinking at the time is that kid comics couldn't handle extended story-lines. Each comic had to be a complete story, never refereed to again. What can I say? They had a point.A six year old buying a comic is a very different animal than a 45 year old comic book collector.I was happy that Sid allowed me to get away with as much as he did.

SM: It's odd, because some of the stories (I don't think they were yours) took a very adult direction...did having the infamous comics code in place ever make anything else difficult?

BV: The Comics Code had largely died in the 90s. Marvel had stopped submitting to the CC.Besides, if anything, I was more of a censor than anyone else.I always remembered that I was talking to 6 year olds, and tried to keep the comics appropriate for that group. After all, they were sold on racks that said "Wholesome Family Entertainment."The average comic sold 30,000 books. With a 3 to 1 pass along (that's other kids who read their friends comics) that's close to 100,000 young minds reading the book.Before turning in a script, I would imagine a football stadium filled with children. Is there anything in my story that I wouldn't say to those kids on a PA system.I have no problem with adult comics. Hell, I helped made them. But they have to be clearly labeled. I've never been a fan of sneaking things past the editor.

SM: This is kind of a silly question, but did you see anyone who worked at HB studios? (I know they probably just licensed it, but I was wondering just in case) Also, for that "Dry Eye Tips Book" did you do  that illustration? I really like it! So you mentioned that you wanted to push characters in new directions, how was that? (I did notice a more sensible Scrappy and a less bland Fred, but I want to hear what you had to say-and I’d like to apologize that these are Scooby-centric-old comics are difficult to come by and Scooby were the ones I happened upon more of) Did any other comic series push characters in new directions? Which Scooby villains did you want to bring back?

BV: Back in the day, I mostly wrote in my living room in Los Angeles. I rarely showed up to the office.Yes, I drew all the illustrations in "Tips To Fight Dry Eye ... That WORK!" And if you could mention that the book is coming out on January 1, 2019.  The next Graphic Novel I want to do is on President Warren G. Harding. I know it sounds dull, but Warren was the original G. O. Party Animal. The book would be sex and hootch and Red Hot Jazz.You're having trouble finding these books? Not half as much trouble as I am.About pushing the characters in new directions, I wanted to do it in a way that stayed true to the characters. One story that I wanted to do, but was shot down, was to have Judy Jetson fall in love with some romantic mope from another dimension who said that one second would her would be worth the end of all worlds. She runs away to smuggle herself to his dimension, while being chased by the cops. She discovers that the cute guy lives in an anti-matter dimension. If they touched, both dimensions would be destroyed. Judy thought the guy was spouting the nonsense boys tell girls - she didn't know he was serious.I was told that was a little too dark.I did a Magilla Gorilla / Yogi Bear story, strictly to show the differences between the two characters. (Yogi is a selfish, charming, lout while MG means well but causes trouble anyway.)I wanted to watch the entire run of the first incantation of SDWAY, and have them all in a room, plotting revenge. Cooler heads prevailed.All the villains, that is.

SM: I’d be happy to mention your book! (I don’t have dry eye, but I do love that cover XD) I don’t have many more questions.So you wanted to go strictly off of SDWAY series, then, but as a result of the higher ups the comic series wasn't continuous with any of the cartoons? Also, if they didn't want you to watch the shows, how did they have writers familiarize themselves with the material? Or were you given creative freedom there? Also, what would’ve happened at the end of that Jetsons idea you had?

BV: I wasn’t confrontational with anyone - I didn’t have to be. H/B was lucky to be edited by the most under-rated editor in Comic Book history; Sid Jacobson. Back in the 1950s, Sid improved the art at Harvey Comics, and the rest of the industry followed suit. Sid was always willing to listen to any idea, then improve on it. It was a happy time - I’d work with Sid again in a heartbeat.OCT 20TH, 

SM: Sorry for implying that there was anything confrontational going on behind the scenes. That wasn’t my intention when I asked. So what I was intending to ask when I was curious about the execs and continuity was if, timeline-wise, that meant it was unconnected from the cartoons? (If it is, no worries-I’m mostly just curious-if a bit pleased that either way, it seems that the infamous Scrappy-Doo Era and said character’s cartoon personality were not a thing here) This one is about your book-so is it all going to be in the form of comic, a semi-story with the dry eye symbolized by the little devil? So I asked what your favorite/least favorite character was. What was your favorite story that you wrote? What happened to Richie Rich that put it in legal limbo? (All I know was it used to be Harvey comics, then it became a cartoon for a few years) Thank you for your time and patience :)

BV: Jeff Montgomery and company viewed the characters as products to obtain movie contracts and sell T-Shirts. He viewed the comic book production division as a necessary evil - until he decided we weren't necessary any more. What he didn't understand was that, while the comics didn't make as much as a single Richie Rich Direct to Video Movie, they were the engine that kept the characters alive. Without the funny books, people forgot about Richie and company.

SM: Yikes.

BV: On the day we were fired, I walked into Jeff's office (while he was in the middle of a meeting with someone from Paramount) and stole his equipment. Staplers, pens. That kind of stuff.

SM: Then what happened?

BV: He pretended I wasn't there and nothing was happening. I loudly stated "I'm stealing this ... and this ... this is mine now". I kept that stuff, too.1

SM: Wow, that's-wow! XD

BV: It's the reason I'm self publishing these days. I guess I could get work if I begged.But the best I could hope for would be to insulted, paid a $40 page rate, and maybe make the company rich.Self publishing is no more risky, I have a lot more freedom, and the potential rewards are high.

SM: I did not know that! That's a really funny story, by the way. Also, do you have any answers to the other questions I wrote about above?

BV: Shoot them past me again.

SM: So what I was intending to ask when I was curious about the execs and continuity was if, timeline-wise, that meant it was unconnected from the cartoons? (If it is, no worries-I’m mostly just curious-if a bit pleased that either way, it seems that the infamous Scrappy-Doo Era and said character’s cartoon personality were not a thing here) This one is about your book-so is it all going to be in the form of comic, a semi-story with the dry eye symbolized by the little devil? So I asked what your favorite/least favorite character was. What was your favorite story that you wrote?

BV: 1. No, they had no relation to the cartoons at all. 2. My book is a graphic novel - told entirely in comic book form. I'm doing that because Dry Eye is an unpleasant subject to discuss. The comic book format will make the story clearer and more fun to read.  I have a fondness for "Escape From Nyak, Nyak, Nyak." I had to move to New York to work for a company I wanted nothing to do with. That story was my goodbye to California and Harvey.

[zingara84]

About “Me, too”

I want to explain something about all of these “Me, too” posts you’re seeing lately on Facebook. Most of the women I’ve seen posting them (myself included) are posting just that — no details “explaining” what happened, or when or where or how. I hope that you still take these posts seriously, even without your female friends’ exposing the details of their experiences. Women usually keep these things somewhat private because we often feel unsettled and even guilty and ashamed about their happening. Why? Because we are taught from Day 1 that anything undesirable that happens to us based on men’s desire for us (even unrequited) is OUR responsibility. The way our faces or bodies look, the way we dress, the words we say, the tone with which we say them, the words we DON’T say, or the precise TIMING of our words, our facial expressions, and so on.

I’ve been told alternately, for instance, that men decide to act inappropriate with me because I look and act “unapproachable" and men supposedly “instinctively” like “the hunt.” Hence my uninviting expressions and standoffishness present a “challenge,” which is a turn-on. (Btw: for the love of science, drop this bullshit; it makes absolutely NO evolutionary sense that male human beings should place female human beings in the same category as animals that you chase to slaughter and then eat. No. No, no, no, no, NO f’ing way.) — and meanwhile, I’ve also been told that men decide to act inappropriate with me because I come off as TOOOOO approachable, an always-very-nebulous accusation. “It’s because you’re small, and that’s nonthreatening.” “It’s because you aren’t rude to people.” “It’s because your tone of voice is soft.” “It’s because your face looks ‘open.'” (Yes, my very same “unapproachable," resting bitch face that men find “challenging” is also soft and open and sweet. So they say.)

What you see here is that instead of asking how to re-socialize men in order that they NOT act predatory, we are still asking what women did (or did not do) in order to “deserve” being preyed upon. This is insane.

Even I have done it though; I, myself, have mentally reviewed, obsessively, situations wherein I was assaulted, stalked, or harassed, and wondered, “What did I do to make this happen?” Or, "What could I have done to stop that?" You would think that being able to answer “Actually… nothing” is empowering for its potential to absolve the self, but that is not the effect the answer has. It only makes you feel even more helpless. It’s disappointing, at best.

When I posted the “me, too” status, the idea of actually listing all of my “me, too" instances seemed absolutely absurd, for the sheer number of times they happened. I literally, honestly, could not even tell you. Do not even know. Do not even care to try remembering them “all” either, because why should I put my mental energy there?, and I know I’d miss a bunch anyway. Sexual assault/harassment are not anomalous, one-time events in a woman’s life. Not even close. In fact, I remember once, A FULL YEAR later, mentioning a particular sexual assault to my therapist for the first time. She seemed surprised that I hadn’t even mentioned it earlier and that by the time I mentioned it, my attitude about it was completely casual. But the reason it had felt unworthy of mention, and the reason I was able to act so casual about it, was because THIS. IS. SO. COMMON. IN. WOMEN’S. LIVES. It was not the first time I had been assaulted. In the greater scheme of things, I had not been physically injured or particularly traumatized (compared to other situations, that had been much harder to shake), so I just let it slide.

How twisted is that? That sexual assault and harassment are so commonplace that they can become “background noise” in a woman’s life?

My “me, too” experiences constitute a VERY broad range of encounter types. Sometimes, total strangers — on the street, on the bus, at the bar, at a cafe. Sometimes, men in whom I have needed to place trust (e.g., doctors, social worker, insurance adviser). Sometimes, friends, or an ex. A prospective employer. I even remember finding myself in a situation where a teacher or prospective employer's conduct made me feel slimy, even though those situations might not have toppled over the line into blatant harassment. But those situations are notable too — the creepy gray areas where men in power, in ways calculated to protect themselves, make daily life just a little bit more uncomfortable for the women in their sights.

I have stopped going places I love to go because of unwanted attention. I have turned down work I DESPERATELY needed because of unwanted attention. I have turned down housing options, also, because of unwanted attention. I have decided that I was willing to pay higher prices for rent or hotel/hostel stays in “better” areas, on an already-meager income, just to increase my chances of avoiding unwanted attention (or, at least, to bolster my illusion of security) — and received unwanted attention in some of those places anyway. I have paid the higher prices for taxis at the end of the night — supposedly the “safe” way to get home — only to be creeped out by the driver and then worried at the realization that the driver now, naturally, knew my address. I have chosen travel or life-abroad destinations based on similar calculations — and, there too, been similarly disappointed from time to time.

Most unfortunate of all, at different points in my life, I have even declared my own body a danger zone and turned the “strategizing” on my physical being: if I overeat, if I stop exercising, if I wear only oversized/unfashionable clothes, if I forego makeup, will that protect me?

The answer to all of the above is “No." Because it’s men who do this, not women who invite it.

If you think the Harvey Weinstein case is appalling but if you still think that rape jokes are okay; that sexual assault is “only” penis-in-vagina contact; that women are “selfish" to want NOT to be cat-called; that rubbing your erection against a dancing stranger’s hips/ass/lower back at a club is acceptable; that male humans “naturally” see female humans as game animals; that physical appearance is EVER an invitation; that women should hide the fact that they have curves at all, or wear their hair short, or make more "androgynous" wardrobe/makeup choices, all in order to prove that they are "serious" intellectuals/professionals worthy of respect; that anything means “yes” aside from “yes” itself; or that “feminism” is a four-letter word — then you, WHATEVER your gender, are absolutely part of this much, much bigger social problem.

But you can change. So please, do.

[anxietyfarm]

Spotify rolled out personalized Time Capsule playslists this week. Through algorithmic alchemy it attempts to gather tracks from your teens and early twenties in an attempt to either make you grin ear-to-ear, recoil in horror, or just wonder how they know so much. For reasons only clear to me I will now attempt to analyze the songs Spotify plucked from the musical ether to send me whistling down my personal nostalgic path.

1. Southenplayalisticadilacmuzik – OutKast – First off of all thank you, Spotify for thinking I was this cool as a 16 year old. I did not know about OutKast when this song came out. I heard about them the next year after the Source awards and didn’t buy my first OutKast album until Aquemini came out in 1998 (nineteen years ago this week). Great start though. You already know me, Spotify. 2. They Want EFX – Das EFX – Yes! I love this song so much. I’m still mad at my washing machine for fucking up my Das EFX shirt. Also, one of the only tweets I’ve ever written that got any traction is when I said that I failed my Anatomy test because I thought my knee bone was connected to my hardy-har-har-har. Thanks, Das EFX. 3. Flagpole Sitta – Harvey Danger – I posit that this is the most 90s song ever. It came out in a gray area between grunge and raprock. Lyrically it is very self-aware but can come off as self-important when you take it in with regards to everything else around it in 1997. It’s super white guy complain-y, which is the exact link between the flannel of the early 90s and the backwards red hat of the late 90s. It reads like a parody of Green Day’s Basket Case. All of this can be backed up in my doctoral thesis, which you can read on my blog. Thanks, Sean Nelson. 4. Poison – Bell Biv DeVoe – Yes. Twelve year old me did love this song. No. Twelve year old me did not understand the sage advice of “never trust a big but and a smile.” Thanks, Bell. Thanks, Bivins. Thanks, DeVoe. 5. Mind Playing Tricks on Me – Geto Boys – “This year Halloween fell on a weekend / me and Geto Boys are trick-or-treating.” I say it every year whether it applies or not. Btw, am I the only one who got the news of every rapper being shot from Kurt Loder? He told me in that condescending tone like it was my fault. I did not shoot Bushwick Bill, Kurt Loder! Stop talking to me like that. Put Tabitha Soren on. Thanks, Scarface. Thanks, Willie D. Thanks, Bushwick Bill. 6. Peaches – The Presidents of the United States of America – Okay. A rare miss from Spotify. I do know this song very well but that’s because you can hear it once and never shake it. I don’t dislike the Presidents. Chris Ballew has worked with the Minus 5 since so that’s cool. No thanks, Spotify. 7. Can I Kick It? – A Tribe Called Quest – If I wasn’t cool enough for OutKast at 16 then I certainly wasn’t cool enough for Tribe at age 12. At that age I was still begging for Hammer to not hurt ‘em. Pleeeeeease, Hammer, don’t hurt em. I implore you! I have since gotten on board with Tribe. Thanks, Q-Tip. R.I.P. Phife Dawg. 8. Cannonball – The Breeders – This is pure goodness, just instant good mood music. I never saw the Breeders live but I did see Courtney Barnett cover this song in concert. Thanks, Deal Sisters. 9. Killing Me Softly with His Song – Fugees – It was rough being a broke music fan before streaming because not only was I buying a Fugees album but I was also curious enough to buy Roberta Flack’s greatest hits. This situation happened over and over again. Thank God there was BMG and mail fraud. Thanks, BMG. Thanks Lauryn Hill. Thanks, Roberta Flack. 10. Fat Cats, Bigga Fish – the Coup – Okay, let’s get real. I didn’t know about this group or this song until a few years ago but I love it and I’ve listened to it a lot since then. When I was in that new relationship phase with this song I wrote about it online and Boots Riley of the Coup sent me a very nice message thanking me for the kind words. Thanks, Boots Riley. Thanks, Internet. 11. I Got 5 On It – Luniz – If you don’t like this song you don’t like music. Thanks, Luniz. Thanks, dime bags. 12. Blister in the Sun – Violent Femmes – Here we have our first timeline anomaly. This song was released a full decade before my “formative years” but then again young James did buy a Violent Femmes album during his formative years and wore it out. Spotify algorithms are something else. Not my favorite VF song but it’s an undeniable classic. Thanks, Violent Femmes. Thanks, Sean and Bren. Thanks, big hands. 13. She Don’t Use Jelly – the Flaming Lips – Here we have the first instance of a song I first heard on Beavis & Butthead. I bought the album after being assured in Spin magazine that it was much better than just this novelty song. I have since seen the Flaming Lips in concert four or five times. At one show Sean Lennon kicked a huge red balloon off the stage and straight at my face. Thanks, Sean Lennon. Thanks, confetti. Thanks, Flaming Lips. 14. Elevators (Me & You) – OutKast – Again, it came out before I listened to Outkast but it’s probably my favorite. No. Second favorite. We will get to number one later in the playlist. I have a glow-in-the-dark 12’’ of this song. It is gorgeous. This song was also BJ Upton’s walkup music when he played for the Braves and because of that I loved BJ Upton no matter how low his batting average dropped. Thanks, baseball. Thanks, Record Store Day. Thanks, OutKast. 15. Laid – James – I have never had any problem with being made fun of because of my name. I guess kids in middle school were too dumb to think of Lame James because the only thing they could manage to call me was faggot. There was a very brief time when this song was popular that, upon meeting me, many people would ask if I knew there was a band called James. Yes. I knew and I loved them. This is such a great song. Life experience has taught me that the therapist mentioned in this song is very bad at their job. Thanks, therapy. Thanks, James. 16. Gimme the Car – Violent Femmes – See number 12. Thanks, Gordon Gano. Thanks, referring to a previous entry. 17. You Don’t Know How It Feels – Tom Petty – Man, I love Tom Petty. This album is good from start to finish. One day I will see Tom Petty. Maybe. He has to stop performing amphitheaters first. I do not do music outside nor with that many people. Thanks, Tom Petty. Thanks, solo albums. 18. Careless Whisper – George Michael – Another timeline disruption. I did not start loving this song until I heard Rufus Wainwright and Ben Folds cover it but it is perfect. Cheesy saxophone and all. Thanks, cover songs. Thanks, duets. 19. Polka Your Eyes Out – “Weird Al” Yankovic – Yeah. Give me all the Weird Al polkas you got. Thanks, medleys.

There are 36 more songs. I got some Neutral Milk Hotel, which I did not discover until the early 2000s, but In the Aeroplane Over the Sea is probably the album I’ve listened to the most since. There’s the best Violent Femmes song, American Music. There’s a few R.E.M. songs, Regulate from Warren G and Nate Dogg, Nirvana, They Might Be Giants, Digable Planets, Biggie, James Brown, Bill Withers, Old 97s, Talking Heads, Paul Simon, etc. The biggest mystery is a Black Flag song that I cannot figure out but it is balanced out by the best song of all time: B.O.B. from OutKast. Thanks, Dungeon Family. Thanks, power music. Thanks, electric revival.

[salt-sass-and-lyrium]

harvey-mckenzie363 mentioned you on a post

“Best Cartoon Fathers + Clark Kent”

@salt-sass-and-lyrium I heard that he left Kara in an orphanage or something after meeting her but it's not important, I do not deny that Comics!Clark is a good person, maybe it's even better that I know but in this case I talk exclusively of Clark of Young Justice (Earth -16 btw) and I've don't read the comics because I'm not good with them, I'm a fan of DC in series and animated films and I hope it's not a bad thing.

Side note: The “left Kara in an orphanage” was canon Pre-Crisis, like late 1950s-early 1960s, but they still worked together and he still cared for her. It wasn’t like he just abandoned her there and never went back. It was a “I can’t take her in without risking my secret identity so let me put her in a safe place until she’s adopted”, which she was. Post-Crisis (the canon from like 1985 til New52), when Clark and Bruce find Kara, Clark immediately takes responsibility for her, and arranges for her to go to Themyscira and train with Wonder Woman and stay with the Amazons, as she had no control over her powers and it wasn’t really safe for her (or others) anywhere else.

Moving on

OK. Let’s talk about Young Justice Clark.

Young Justice Clark, upon meeting the clone he had no idea existed, and only existed because Clark was severely violated:

Did not attempt to harm Conner

Didn’t lock him up

Didn’t send him away

Didn’t demand he be destroyed

Allowed him to be on the YJ team (do you honestly think if Superman put his foot down and said “Absolutely no Superboy” Conner would’ve been allowed on the team?)

Allowed him to live with the other team members, which ensured he was provided relatively stable (I mean the hideout gets attacked yada yada) housing, food, clothing, an education and training

Did not forbid him from using the S shield, which is really the sign of El, his family’s house

Did not get angry that he went by Superboy, which is obviously a play on Superman.

Did not demand he change his last name from Kent (even though Megan seemed to initially think it was for Kent Nelson, everyone and their mom knew it was for Clark)

Actually said that “it feels right” that he has the last name Kent

Worked along side Conner several times

Revealed his secret identity to Conner

Gave him a Kryptonian name (which considering Supergirl does not exist in the YJ universe, is a MAJOR deal as Clark is the only known Kryptonian in existence), Kon-El

Trusted him to carry on in his absence while he was off world

Flat out calls him his “little brother”

Was he standoffish and wary around Conner initially? Yes. Of course he was. Who wouldn’t be? Not only is Conner a reminder of him being violated on literally a molecular level, half of his DNA is also Lex Luthor (you know, his mortal enemy).

Was Clark ever cruel or abusive to Conner? No. Did he ever deliberately harm Conner in anyway? No. Did he deny Conner access to care and resources? No.

And. Again. He’s not Conner’s father.

[tagaught]

So, way back in December, my friend from CAPP, Patricia, told me that Autism Nova Scotia was having a conference March 2nd and 3rd, and she had managed to get Steve Silberman (the author of Neurotribes) as the keynote speaker (he was great, BTW). She also said that they were doing a panel of women autistics, and asked if I would like my name mentioned as a possible panelist. I said “Yes!”. ;) (Who wouldn’t? Especially given I’m getting more into advocacy.)

Over the next two months various details got ironed out, and I was confirmed as a panelist, and very eager to go.

And I had a really great time.

The first thing I’d like to do is thank the team at Autism Nova Scotia for all the work they did to get this conference together. Particularly Vicki Harvey, who as the Community Outreach Coordinator for Autism Nova Scotia was the one in charge of arranging the conference and getting the panelists. Not only was she wonderful to talk to, she was also remarkably helpful and willing to give us rides to and from the hotel (because St. John’s isn’t the only place in Canada with very steep hills downtown). So, thanks, Vicki! Your help was greatly appreciated!

It was wonderful to see Cynthia Carroll (the executive director of Autism Nova Scotia, who was also the chair of the CAPP Advisory Group) again, and part of my excitement about the trip was that I got to room with Patricia! We had a great time rooming together. (Would have been better if there hadn’t been so many issues with the room in the hotel, but still. It was great to be able to spend that time together, and we both found it easy to stay with each other.)

I flew in on Wednesday the 1st, in the afternoon. Caught a cab (and ouch, I’ve gotten too used to St. John’s, where the airport is maybe a twelve minute drive from my place) to the hotel, and met Patricia in the lobby (she’d gotten there just before I did). We headed up to the room (after hugs, because there have to be hugs!), and chatted as we went. Went out for dinner together, and had a great time with that. Crashed kind of late, and the sleep wasn’t the greatest (ref issues with the hotel room, and for me, the sheer excitement of what was coming).

The next morning, we headed down to the lobby and met Steve Silberman there, waiting for Vicki to pick him up to take him to the conference centre. As may be guessed by my comment above about how helpful Vicki was, she had no problem taking Patricia and I along as well. (We could have walked, but it would have taken a little while, and we were both still tired from the restless night.) While in the car, I mentioned the issue of the subtitle and what Patricia had told me the previous night about 300 pages being cut from the manuscript of Neurotribes, and he suggested that I ask that very question in the Q&A after his talk.

Got there, and got our packets, and I wandered into the conference room while Patricia was getting ready for her speech introducing Steve Silberman.

(Pictures of the two of us with Steve Silberman taken just before I headed off to the conference room.)

Patricia George and Steve Silberman

Me and Steve Silberman!

He gave a really great talk. Some of the info I already knew, given that I did read Neurotribes, and some was new. (And kind of not good.) And as he’d suggested in the car, when the Q&A started, I asked that question.

Turns out that Neurotribes was originally proposed as a 200-page book, that he thought would take about a year to research and write. Not so much. Five years later, he had an 800-page manuscript that he took to the publisher. They cut about 300 pages (as mentioned above), and what Steve said was that he thought it actually ended up better that way. For one main reason: He doesn’t feel that it’s his place to say what should be the future of neurodiversity; he feels that it’s the place of those who are neurodiverse to do that. It was an interesting answer, and put a different spin on my perception of the subtitle of the book. (And no, he’s not changing the subtitle.)

Next up was Mike Doucette, a police officer from Belleville, Ontario, who does autism training for police and other first responders, with a talk about Autism Risk and Safety Management Training. He has an autistic daughter, so this is personal for him. He explained the usual circumstances that involve police interacting with autistics (aggresive/domestic violence situations, suspicious person calls, and wandering), and came prepared with videos to illustrate the potential situations to us.

It was particularly interesting in that both Patricia and I (and it wouldn’t surprise me if some of the other autistic attendees as well) noticed a few things in the videos that the other people in the videos and at least some of the audience seemed to be oblivious to.

The video to illustrate some of the situations involved with domestic violence and aggression – every time the mother spoke, her (teenage or adult) child would hit his head and go, “Ow!” Patricia observed that it may have been something about the mother triggering a sensory issue, maybe even the sound of her voice. I didn’t link things up that directly, but to me it was still obvious that there was something the mother was missing that was causing him sensory issues.

The video where two cops responded to a suspicious person call involved an autistic who was mostly non-verbal – he could say some words, but they weren’t entirely clear (although I recognized what he said his name was, and I was surprised that the officer didn’t understand what he was saying). The one thing I noticed in this video – and I went over to the stage and brought it up to Officer Doucette afterwards (see below for his response) was that the officers (particularly the first officer who approached him) were firing questions at him without much of a pause. It was quite clear to me that the young man was having difficulty processing what they were saying, at least in part because they weren’t giving him the chance to understand before firing off another question. Try playing something at 2x or 4x speed – a recording of someone asking questions – and see if you can process what they say in time to answer the question before the next one is fired at you!

The answer Officer Doucette gave me was that while the issues with processing speed are mentioned in the training that he knows of, what often happens is that police (and other first responders) undergo so many courses of training about so many things, some apparently minor details can slip through the cracks, which is why they tend to have refresher courses. Which is understandable, but extremely unfortunate. The situation in that video would have gone much better if the two officers involved had slowed down their questions enough that the young man could have had the chance to actually answer them. (The situation ended peacefully, but it was still obviously quite upsetting for the young man.) Possible recommendation: give the processing issues more priority/emphasis during training. Maybe make a note to mention this as a likely issue to people setting up the training, so that can be touched on more.

The third video was of a child wandering. The situation after the wandering started was dealt with well, but… the start of the video, where the child was with an educational aide of some sort, made me… not terribly happy. The aide was talking to the child in question in what I took to be a rather patronizing fashion. Now, I have no idea of the circumstances surrounding said child, except that he is autistic, has no real recognition of danger, and is prone to wandering… but still.

The emphasis of first responders when it comes to situations is: Paramount: Officer and Citizen Safety; and secondarily: Making the Best Use of Time and Resources. (I’m grabbing these from the titles of the slides used, FYI, which is why the capitalization.) Officer Doucette strongly recommends a voluntary registry, shared with the first responders, so that they can have access to the necessary information. (He was impressed with my RNC Voluntary Autism Registry Card.)

One of the other things Officer Doucette shared with us, which was more positive and a great way to end the talk, was a setup for community days and class visits. The video in question showed firefighters and police officers bringing their vehicles to show the children, and letting them wander around, giving them the time necessary to be comfortable without pushing them, making the meeting a non-offensive situation. They also did things like show what firefighters look like dressed up in their safety gear. All this done in a quiet, relaxed atmosphere helps the children recognize the various kinds of first responders, and what they would look like – which will hopefully lead to much easier transactions between those autistics and the local first responders.

One thing that was recognized in the talk, that I appreciated very much, was that quite often any aggression would be because of sensory issues or meltdowns, and so beyond the autistic’s control in a lot of ways.

After that was lunch, which was served in the exhibitors’ hall. I ate lunch with the table I’d been sitting at for the presentations so far, and we got into a conversation about sensory issues and the reasons for stimming (most of which were extracted from things that I’ve already put up here on my blog).

After lunch was a presentation on Positive Behaviour Support (while Patricia and Steve Silberman were interviewed by CBC Radio for the Mainstreet Halifax program).

Positive Behaviour Support is a program designed to build skills and reduce “challenging” behaviours in autistic children. It’s based on a system of first of all, determining what the needs and priorities of the child, family, and team are; secondly, determining the function of challenging behaviours (AKA why they are happening and what the consequences/results of the behaviour are, rather than focusing on the behaviour itself); then coming up with a plan to handle both the long term goals (the desired behaviours) and the short term goals (replacement and alternate behaviours) which are the steps to go through in order to reach the long term goals. Then, the plan is put into play; everyone works together to carry out the plan; and last (but not least), assess whether the plan is actually working.

Some things the speakers (Caitlin Neilly, MASP, and Angela MacDonald, SLP) emphasized were: 1) This is not a quick fix. There are no quick fixes; 2) Autistic children are children first. In some ways, they are like any other child; 3) Humility is key to creating a workable plan; 4) Cooperation and support among the people involved is also key in creating a workable plan; and 5) Consider the “human factor”; concentrate on creating a workable, effective solution rather than “fixing the child”.

The PBS setup sounds quite interesting, and (as the name says) a much more positive means of discouraging certain behaviours and encouraging others than some therapies I’ve heard/read about. Of course, in a lot of ways, that can depend on what is chosen as “challenging behaviour”, but the definition of “challenging behaviour” that goes along with the plan seems to me to be a sound one: “Confusing and distressing to the people who care about them and themselves”.

They were also fairly clear on what may be behind said “challenging behaviours” for an autistic child, including high levels of anxiety, learning differences, difficulty understanding expectations, and difficulty communicating, to name some mentioned. (I also raised sensory issues at that point, to which they agreed – it just wasn’t listed on that particular slide.)

They also provided some examples of behaviours, including the functions thereof – 2 of which could actually be applied to any child, and 1 of which applied to adults (to illustrate that anyone can end up in and have situations like this). (If there’s interest, I’ll put the scenarios up.)

The last talk on Thursday was given by a woman named Jo-Lynn Fenton, who has two boys on the spectrum, one now 23 who was officially diagnosed with Asperger’s, and the other almost 20, who is non-verbal as well as having epilepsy. She told some stories about situations they’d ended up in, and it was a fascinating as well as quite positive experience. Her motto seems to be “perseverance and patience” – and “keep a sense of humour about things”, though that was more inferred from the stories than explicitly stated – and from what she’s said, it’s worked for her so far! I would honestly recommend her as a speaker anytime.

So, that was the conference the first day. After that was over, and I’d talked to a number of people while leaving, I headed out to meet my sister to go to her place for dinner. (Which was great. I wasn’t sure that we’d be able to get together while I was there, and I was delighted to have the chance.) Got to see my niece and nephews, and it was wonderful (even if the boys were a little overenthusiastic about some things I wasn’t up for *wry grin*).

Really did have a great time with them. And then I got a surprise – my sister’s best friend, her husband, and their younger son (I’ll Be Back Again) showed up! They were in fact the ones who drove me back to the hotel.

More wonderful hugs! :) (I swear, autistics give the best hugs.)

Got back, managed to finally fix one of the issues with the hotel room(!), and actually slept fairly well that night.

So, Friday morning, I woke up and discovered that my sister had texted me that she’d be able to take me to the airport that night. (And believe me, it was a great relief; I didn’t want to have to take a cab – expensive! – and while I had the bus route, I don’t feel comfortable going on a bus system the first time alone.) Then Patricia and I kind of looked at our bags, looked at each other, and we decided to see if we could get late check-out.

Well. Late check-out would have dinged us $45 plus tax, and we would still have had to check out for 4:30. Given the conference was slated to end at 4, and there would be some tidying up and a bit more networking to do, that… wasn’t going to happen. So, once again, Vicki was nice enough to give us a ride to the conference centre. (After I called down to cancel the request for late check-out; we checked out before we left at 8:40, but given the troubles we’d been having, we didn’t want to take any chances.)

Our talk was the first thing on the schedule. There were four us; Patricia, myself, a young woman named Danielle, and another young woman named Jennifer. I was up last, so got to listen to the others talk first.

It was quite moving, and I’m really glad I was there to hear what they had to say.

And an interesting thing happened when Jennifer was giving her talk. She was having some trouble, so Cynthia offered to help her, and while that was happening, the tech at the back cut the glare of the lights focused at the stage. All of us relaxed at that, and Patricia at least found it much easier to speak. (Wish we’d thought of that beforehand!)

When it was my turn, I talked about some of my challenges and my passions, mentioned some things like the way I used to tell time to the second, and how my cats and my books and my writing had very much been my saving graces. (Pictures of the slides I used to illustrate some of my points below.)

#gallery-0-9 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-9 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-0-9 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-9 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

Art Therapy: Childhood Memories

Brightspot and Mitzy & Aspen: How I Survived Adolescence and Young Adulthood

My Saving Grace #1 Now: Imber

My Saving Grace #2 Now: My 2008 NaNoWriMo Winner’s Certificate, and my Author Info page on nanowrimo.org, showing how long I’ve been participating.

My Saving Grace #3 Now: The meeting of the CAPP Advisory Group held in Montreal in October 2016.

Also mentioned something my sister told me the night before about her reaction to my reaction to the first time I was in a room where autistics were the majority (felt like I’d come home). Added to that about my sister’s friend’s son and how we clicked with each other.

Speaking on the panel at the conference: picture taken by Ally Garber

I included my issues with keeping my environment clean and how I’d written fanfiction, both of which proved to be almost immediately impactful! (See below.)

When we’d finished, it was opened up for a Q&A. One of the first people to ask a question was a woman who had only recently been diagnosed, and she asked us how we’d responded to our own diagnoses. Both Danielle and I answered, and she teared up a bit. Danielle then asked if she wanted/needed a hug, and when she nodded, both Danielle and I got off the stage and went over to hug her. (I told you there were lots of hugs!) While we did that, Patricia pointed out that this, right here, gave lie to the belief that autistics have no empathy.

After the Q&A was over, when we were heading off the stage for break, another woman approached me, and told me that she had a child who’d been diagnosed, and she was starting to think that she was on the spectrum as well – and my mention of the issues I have with cleaning had resonated strongly with her, because she had the same sort of issue. We talked a bit about that, and I gave her the info about my clutter coach, and that April (said clutter coach – I know, I have to do a post on that too) might have contacts or at least know someone in Nova Scotia who can provide the same sort of services.

For the rest of the day, I was approached by a number of people at break and lunch who said that they had been moved by what I had said (and the rest of the panelists, of course). It felt really good. And one mother said that her daughter was really into fanfiction and manga and anime (ref my mention above about fanfic!) so I gave her my username on fanfiction.net and Archive of Our Own to give to her daughter.

The second talk of Friday was from Dr. Isabel Smith (the current holder of the Joan and Jack Craig Chair in Autism Research) about research being conducted locally (i.e. in Nova Scotia) about Autism Spectrum conditions. (The word disorders tended to be used by the professionals speaking, but as I’ve said before – Revamped Links: Neurodiversity Paradigm – I now prefer not to use that term.) It was interesting, but a bit disturbing to some of the autistics in the audience; especially a comment made around the Play Buddies program that the child in question was “playing like a normal boy” in the two-month followup. (And also the interaction after the explanation to the neurotypical boy about how to try to engage the autistic in play; the presenter mentioned how normal it appeared when the autistic kid was running around saying, “Tickle me!” Patricia remarked that it was not what people seemed to think it was; she identified it as sensory seeking, not “play”.) But there do appear to be good research programs out there, and some of the talk was absolutely fascinating. (Unfortunately, we didn’t get a copy of her slides the way we did with the Thursday presenters, so I can’t remember all the programs she talked about.)

Then we broke for lunch. FYI: The food court in Scotia Square in Halifax may have excellent food – but around lunchtime, it is a sensory nightmare for autistics. Too many people, and way too much noise. Patricia and I had gone with Martha, one of the Autism Nova Scotia staff members, as well as a mother and daughter who were attending the conference, and when she saw our reactions, she asked whether we should just buy something and eat back in the conference centre. I immediately responded that we should buy and go. As it happened, the woman who’d spoken with me after our panel had also come to eat at the Food Court, and she heard me say that, and joined us in braving the crowd and then going back. (She mentioned she was dreading going into the crowd, and then when she heard me say that, realized that she could do that as well.)

Throughout lunch (as I mentioned above), people came up to us and mentioned how much they’d enjoyed our panel, and how it had helped give them more insight. It was quite gratifying, and as touching as they seemed to have found our talk, I think it was equally touching how they let us know that.

I also got to chatting with Robyn, another staff member at Autism Nova Scotia who was sitting at our table, about science fiction; she’s a huge fan, and gave me some places to check out for when I hope to publish. (Thanks again, Robyn!)

The first talk after lunch was Cynthia Carroll’s review of the employment programs in place with Autism Nova Scotia.

The first one she told us about – and the primary one concentrated on during the talk – was TRAACE (Transition Readiness & Autism Community Employment). This was established by Autism Nova Scotia when they started getting people in their late twenties and thirties coming in, trying to seek employment when they had no idea how to go about doing it. There are programs for them, but ANS wanted to work on getting the information and skills regarding employment taught to people before they needed to enter the workforce, and so TRAACE was born.

It’s a program for youth aged 15 to 21, done in concert with high schools, to “prepare students for the transition from school to the workplace”. There are classroom modules (a total of 10 of them) followed by eight weeks of volunteer work placement with an employer partner and a Job Coach.

Some of the modules involve the things you see in any pre-employment program: job searching and resources, resume and cover letter writing, interview skills, workplace health and safety, all that. But TRAACE also includes modules on managing anxiety and how to request accomodations, sensory sensitivities and how to request accomodations, how to handle socialization in the workplace…. As soon as Cynthia was finished going through the list of modules, I raised my hand and announced that I was so jealous. I really could have used a lot of those! (Of course, even if there’d been that kind of program available, I might not have had access to it, given that I was a late diagnosis. But then, if this kind of program had been available when I was that age, people probably would have been better informed about autism at the time, and I might have had my diagnosis then!)

What’s interesting is that for the socialization in the workplace module, Autism Nova Scotia developed a game to help prepare their clients for dealing with that. If any of you have heard of Apples to Apples and/or Cards Against Humanity, it’s very much in that vein. Questions that clients have asked about social interactions – with colleagues, with customers, etc. – are printed on cards, and people take turns drawing them and reading them out. Everyone else writes out what they think is the best answer on a whiteboard (the game is used often enough – and popular enough – that they prefer to use whiteboards to index cards or paper), and they’re all placed face-down in front of the player who read the card. That player then turns them over and reads them out loud, and chooses what they think is the best/most appropriate answer, and the person whose answer it was gains a point. (This is definitely going to be something I’m going to recommend to the ASNL for their employment programs – and likely for Social Thinking as well, because it doesn’t have to just be for employment!)

At any rate, TRAACE has been successful enough since its inception that some of the schools are now also using it for their other students!

There were also other programs talked about. As they are federal programs, both Ready, Willing, and Able and Worktopia were mentioned. Interestingly enough, because Worktopia came into being after TRAACE, in Nova Scotia it’s broken down into three sections. There is CommunityWORKS Canada, which is an after school program for teens and young adults (15-21) in high school. There is EmploymentWORKS Canada, which is for young adults who are out of high school, up to age 29 (Worktopia is for ages 15 to 29). And there is SchoolWORKS Canada, which in Nova Scotia essentially helps fund TRAACE.

And there is Autism Works LaunchPad, which is an employment program aimed at adults. Much like with TRAACE, there are a set of modules that cover various elements of job seeking and maintaining, including professionalism, social skills, customer service, and financial literacy. What really fascinated me about this program is that Autism Nova Scotia has established a social enterprise in connection with LaunchPad, called The Promise of a Pearl. It’s a jewellery “store”, with the jewellery made by autistics and their friends and family. Participants in LaunchPad work with The Promise of a Pearl to learn things like working with a team to create products, fulfill orders, and interact with customers around craft shows.

Given I make jewellery (beading), I was fascinated. And it didn’t hurt that the thank you gifts for the speakers/panelists were products from The Promise of a Pearl – I got an absolutely lovely set of earrings with a tree set into a hoop. (See pictures below.)

#gallery-0-10 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-10 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 50%; } #gallery-0-10 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-10 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

Tree earrings from The Promise of a Pearl

Me, wearing the earrings from The Promise of a Pearl

This is something I fastened on to as a potential program for Newfoundland and Labrador as well, given the artisanship in this province, and I’m going to be asking the people in charge at Autism Nova Scotia all kinds of questions about how they set it up and how it works. I would love to get a pilot program like that here, so am determined to get moving on it!

The last talk of the day (and the conference) was about romantic relationships. The moderator was Dr. Shannon Johnson, and Danielle and another autistic named Danny joined her as panelists (although myself, Patricia, and another autistic whom I believe is staff at ANS kind of joined in with comments from the audience throughout). Danny is in a relationship with another autistic, and he talked a bit about what that was like. Danielle has had mostly allistic boyfriends, and talked mainly about the issues surrounding online meeting apps (mostly centred around Tinder, which is apparently the go-to dating app on Dalhousie campus), especially the safety issues, and how she determines whether a boyfriend is likely to last. (Hint: She mentions she’s autistic. If they change the subject or refuse to talk about it – she’s not going to see them again.) The three of us chimed in with a bit of our own experiences – my first date was when I was nineteen, and I figured out in the last few years that I’m somewhere on the asexual spectrum; Patricia’s been married for almost two and a half decades; and the other woman (I can’t remember her name – sorry about that!) has had a few boyfriends over the years.

One thing Danielle mentioned – and I was nodding my head furiously at this – was: Communication is key. If you can’t communicate, there’s no basis for a relationship. And communication is one of those things that can be very difficult for autistics and allistics. (Hells, it can be difficult between two neurotypicals, for that matter!) I’ve seen how important communication can be – I hold my parents’ relationship up as something of an ideal. Yeah, they argue sometimes – everyone does. But after a separation when I was a kid, they got back together… and one of the things they did to make sure they stayed together was every week, without fail, they had dinner out one night. Just the two of them. (Okay, if the weather was a disaster or one was sick, it was postponed… but they did that for decades. They still do. I think until they moved to Costa Rica, they missed maybe… three to five dinners while they were at home in Toronto?)

It was an excellent panel, I think, and a good end to the conference.

After the official end, Patricia and I both hung around for a while; there was some networking going on – I have a bunch of new contacts – and then getting things packed away. Because Vicki agreed to give me a lift back to the hotel, where my sister was going to pick me up to take me to the airport, I helped her load her car with some of the stuff that had to go back to the centre. (She thanked me for my patience while it was all getting done. I explained about having been staff and ConCom for Toronto Trek/Polaris for several years, so I knew about dealing with breaking things down after a convention/conference.)

Sat and relaxed in the hotel lobby while waiting for my sister. Didn’t end up getting any writing done, but I worked on recording my impressions of the day to help ensure I remembered the information for this post. (And ended up disconnecting the app I use from My Other Blog when it posted that private stuff twice without my realizing it. Thankfully it was only my mother who read it, and not anyone else!)

Had an enjoyable ride to the airport with my sister and niece (which was nice, because I hadn’t really got much of a chance to say goodbye to her the night before, since she was at Guides). Got all things done at the airport and set.

Note: If you need legroom, do not fly WestJet. They have worse legroom than Air Canada, which is really saying something. I’m 6’/184cm, and all my height is in my legs.

Dad was there to pick me up at the airport, and as he drove me home, I talked a bit about the conference, filling him in on some of the highlights (some of which appear above). What was interesting, though, was that I noticed twice while I was talking to him – once while driving, and once as I was getting out of the car at my apartment – my gestures, intonation, and word choice were pure Patricia.

And this is part of the reason it’s harder to diagnosis a girl on the spectrum who is verbal; we are excellent mimics, and quite often it’s completely unconscious on our part. I certainly didn’t intend to imitate Patricia – it just happened. It’s very much like how when my family visited St. John’s in the summers (since my mom’s family was here), I’d speak with a light Newfie accent for about two weeks back in Toronto before it disappeared again.

Took me a while to come down from the stress of the flight and the residual excitement of the conference, so my sleep schedule’s still somewhat wonky (one reason why this post was not up yesterday; even if I’d managed to finish it, I didn’t trust that it would be without issues).

But despite the issues with the hotel and the plane, I really did have a great time at the conference (as you can probably tell from my enthusiasm above). So once again, I want to thank Autism Nova Scotia for putting on such a wonderful conference and for inviting me there – and reiterate that I’ll be very glad to come speak at any other conferences you want to put on! ;)

:) tagÂûght

ANS: Exploring the Spectrum Conference 2017 - Wow! #EtSC2017 #AutismNovaScotia So, way back in December, my friend from CAPP, Patricia, told me that Autism Nova Scotia…