#handy reference for this fic

[victorluvsalice]

Happy Birthday Squid!

@gaydragonwizards As per your request to actually see the moment that Beckett spooked Nines during the last-minute prep before the Nines/Arianna wedding (as per its mention in our old RP stuff) -- well, here's exactly that. XD Enjoy!

--

And lo, here I stand, an observer to that most strange and bizarre of rituals conceived by either mortal or kindred-kind...the wedding.

Beckett lounged in his corner, watching the goings-on around him with the air of someone doing his best to stay invisible so he wasn’t asked to hold a centerpiece or tie ribbons to a chair or anything else of that nature. Not that there’s an abundance of frilliness, he noted. You can see Arianna’s touch everywhere, of course, but – well. It still feels like an Anarch wedding. Goodness, Damsel isn’t even wearing a dress! He smirked. Shame – I would have paid good money to see her stuffed into the traditional wretched bridesmaid gown. And even better money to be well outside the blast radius when she finally got out of it. I suppose Arianna and Nines decided it was easier to allow her to wear something more to her own tastes, rather than get an earful. He glanced around the room. Where is Arianna? I mean, obviously getting primped and prepped, but I can’t discern the location of said primping and prepping. I do want to say hello before everything kicks off...

“Hey, Nines! Shouldn’t you be getting into the monkey suit?”

“I will in a sec, I just gotta double-check these seating arrangements. Bianca said Isaac just showed up, and if he ends up anywhere near Strauss...”

“I’d be more concerned about VV – she’s probably going to be making kissy faces in Strauss’s general direction all night.”

“I know, I know, but – that’s just a cross we’re gonna have to bear.”

“Good thing crosses don’t actually work on us!”

“Yeah, yeah, har, har...”

Beckett chuckled. At least the groom is easy to locate, he thought, watching as Nines intercepted an Anarch to fix a centerpiece before repositioning some chairs. If you can keep up with him – insert joke about Brujahs and Celerity here. I suppose he’s doing rather well for himself under the circumstances. Funny that he hasn’t noticed my presence, though. I would have taken him for a bit more perceptive than that. A sly smile curled his lips. I wonder...

Beckett slowly stood up straight, easing himself along the wall so he stayed out of Nine’s immediate line of sight. Then, after a moment’s examination of the hustle and bustle, he started forward, carefully easing his way through the crowd toward his prey. Most of the other Kindred present paid him little mind, too caught up in their various tasks – though one Alice Liddell spotted him and raised an eyebrow. Beckett gave her a nod and a smile before continuing his journey toward the harried Baron (now checking his watch for unknown schedule-related reasons). Closer...closer...and – “I think there have been wars fought with less planning.”

Nines nearly jumped right out of his skin, which was quite gratifying. Even more gratifying was the fact that he didn’t immediately try to punch his lights out. “Beckett! Fucking hell,” he groaned, pressing a hand quite unnecessarily to his chest. “When the fuck did you learn how to move so quietly?”

“Given the amount of fuss that’s going on, an elephant could sneak through this room and no one would be the wiser,” Beckett responded, grinning. “I just thought I’d say hello, offer my congratulations.”

“And somehow give me a heart attack?” Nines replied, giving him a look before shaking his head. “The congrats are appreciated, though. I’m glad you were able to make it – Arianna wouldn’t have liked doing this without you.”

“And who am I not to indulge my adopted childe from time to time?” Beckett asked with a little smile. “Besides, this may be a night of great historical import, if both Anarchs and Camarilla are in attendance here. Or did I mishear when you said ‘Strauss?’”

“You didn’t, though I wish you had,” Nines groaned. “The fucking politics – Arianna can fill you in on more of the details, but the short version is we’re not in a position to tell the Tremere to fuck off, so he gets to watch me get married.” He shook his head. “You and your recorder are gonna have a fun night.”

“You accuse me of wanting to record your wedding?” Beckett gasped, covering his mouth theatrically.

“No, I’m stating a fucking fact and guessing the damn thing is already on.”

“It isn’t, actually – I don’t think we need a record of you yelling about seating arrangements,” Beckett admitted, looking at his pocket. “Later...we’ll see.”

“Yeah, well, just don’t make any snarky notes about our vows or anything.” Nines jerked his thumb toward a door. “Arianna’s that way if you wanna say hello – I gotta go get dressed myself, before Alice physically drags me into the room,” he added, glancing over Beckett’s shoulder.

“I leave you to Miss Liddell’s tender mercies,” Beckett said, moving in the direction Nines had pointed. “However many she has.”

“Asshole. Remember to compliment Arianna’s dress!”

“Noted!” Beckett chuckled as he made for the door. “This will indeed be a night to remember...”

[jlhynde-insanitybrilliance]

CH. 16 SNEAK PEAK OF UDLTTOM

*Madame Bones, Prof. Slughorn, & Prof. Izanagi waking up Harry after 12 hour coma sleep*

Prof. Slughorn: I don’t understand how’s he still sleeping. I only slipped him little bit of a sleeping draft in his tea?

Madame Bones: Horace you did what?! This boy has been functioning on the bare-minimum in terms of nutrition and sleep for days! How long has he been like this?

Prof. Slughorn: Cygnus Black informed me at lunch after they tried to wake him. But the wards prevented it.

Prof. Izanagi: Ah, I see! There’s a color changing charm interwoven here. That explains Mr. Black & Mr. Malfoy’s green hair. I’ll see if I can undo them, but I can’t even see the anchor point…

[transingthoseformers]

Soooooo if we're rolling with the six orn number (which is probably wrong), so far this fic has covered the span of equivalent to a little over a week and a half! Which i mean even in human terms the amount of work Optimus has done in such a short amount of time is insane. But for million year old robots (especially in this fic, where the lifespans and timelines are wayyyyyy longer than I usually expect in fics and in canon)? It's basically no time at all

[swficreference]

Introducing the Star Wars Reference Wiki!

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All these fics incorporate events from Jedi Apprentice, but what really happened to Obi-Wan Kenobi in Legends?

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BBY/ABY, BrS/GrS, BFE/AFE... what's the difference between these and all those other calendars? What calendar do characters use before the Battle of Yavin?

What are some idioms or kriffing swears this character could use to sound more Star Wars-y?

Does the GFFA have its own version of a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup?

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How many costumes does Padmé wear? What about other SW costumes?

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[pathologicalreid]

nicknames | S.R.

in which you meet the team for the first time, and receive your first nickname

who? spencer reid x fem!BAU!reader

category: fluff

content warnings: reader is referred to as a girl. i have this headcanon where when reid's IQ gets slashed to 60, he'd get so distracted that he'd run on autopilot, hence the willingness to handshake.

word count: 591

a/n: happy finals szn! this fic has been rotting in my brain for weeks and i finally decided to flesh it out. and maybe you should like and reblog this if you enjoy it (no pressure tho)

You were still filtering through your entry paperwork when the rest of the team filtered into the bullpen. David Rossi, who had helped you land this job in the first place, nodded in your direction before disappearing into his office. “Hey!” Someone called from across the bullpen, “Y/N, right?” Emily asked, setting her go bag in the chair at her desk before making her way over to your desk.

Smiling in response, “It’s nice to finally meet you,” you responded, reaching your hand out for her to shake. It was nice to be in the BAU, complete with a promotion from Special Agent to Supervisory Special Agent.

JJ walked over next, waving, and introducing herself as the communications liaison. “I’ve heard a lot of great things from your old CARD team,” she said, “I’m sure your skillset will come in handy here.”

You nodded in affirmation, “That’s the hope!” You answered, smiling at the prospect of your old team singing your praises.

Next, Derek approached, reaching out his hand for you to shake. Of course, you obliged and grinned at him. Part of you felt like you were meeting celebrities, the BAU was a big deal in the bureau. “Derek Morgan,” he introduced himself, “How long were you with CARD?”

“Five years,” you responded, it was a long time for anyone to deal solely with child abduction, but your team had the best rate in the bureau. Besides, you found the work rewarding.

Morgan’s eyebrows raised in surprise, “that’s impressive.”

You nodded, “Thank you. I’m really looking forward to working with you all.”

JJ looked behind her, “Oh, have you met Garcia?” She asked, peeking around the corner to where the technical analyst's office was.

Glancing down at the cat-shaped stress toy that she had given you when you arrived this morning, you smiled, “Yes, she was the first to greet me this morning. I think I’m just missing Dr. Reid.”

As if on cue, the young doctor walked into the bullpen, he had a worn leather satchel over his shoulder and looked like he might be talking to himself, “Reid!” Emily called over, getting his attention, and causing him to change course, approaching your desk. “Come meet, Y/N.”

He adjusted the strap of his satchel over his sweater before you reached out your hand for him to shake. “Oh, he doesn’t…” JJ began, but her voice trailed off when Dr. Reid shook your hand.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Dr. Reid,” you said, smiling at him. It felt good to know you had finally met the entire team.

He gave a close-lipped smile in return, “Reid is fine, or Spencer.” He said as you each dropped your hands to your sides.

Noticing everyone looking back and forth between the two of you as if you had already managed to do something wrong, you gathered all of your paperwork in your hands, “I should get this to Hotch.”

The rest of the team got the message and started to disperse to their respective desks, Reid’s being adjacent to yours. “Welcome to the team, pretty girl,” Morgan said to you before turning to his own paperwork.

You hugged your paperwork to your chest as if you were protecting it. Quietly, you muttered, “I really hope that nickname doesn’t stick.”

Across from you, there was a short laugh, almost a scoff. “It will,” Spencer responded in the same reverent tone. For a second, you thought it might be a joke, but you could tell by his facial expression that he was serious.

[bbyobbyo]

seventeen as dads headcanons

content: reader is married to svt, normative(?) family structure, literally just unhinged thoughts, not proofread lol

note: was trying to write an actual fic but then got distracted sorry, dadventeen brainrot is so real

Seungcheol

Super protective “don’t touch my family” dad outwardly

All of his kids’ friends are straight up SCARED of him

But within the household he's the one sneaking ice cream when you say no, albeit guiltily

Shopping trips with him will always result in buying something for them and he is very willing to be taken advantage of

“Babe if I can’t spoil them now, they’re gonna grow up and move out before we know it!”

Tries his best to be handy around the house, but probably makes it worse, ends up calling Mingyu to come fix it

Jeonghan

DEFINITELY a “go ask your mom” dad

This man not only powerless, he doesn't even want the power, he's just here to have a good time and if you say they can't, then sorry kiddo

You can’t tell me that he doesn’t bring up becoming a family prank channel at least once a week

LOVES bragging to everyone else about his kid’s achievements, cannot shut up about them to anyone in a 5 foot radius tbh

His kids definitely talk to him about everything, which is great because he is SO nosy.

Has a list of all their best friends, enemies, and crushes at school somewhere on his notes app for future reference when they come to him for advice

Joshua

The REAL practical joke dad, admittedly made them cry a few times when they were younger and felt really bad about it

Perfect sweet husband and father in image, all of his kids know he’s actually lame af

Dominates the summer barbeques, UNDISPUTED GRILLMASTER

Super dependable, will drop everything if his family needs him and never goes back on his word

Gives surprisingly good fashion advice

Jun

Definitely walks around the neighborhood with his baby in a sling carrier strapped to his front, POINTS AT EVERYTHING OF INTEREST

When they start learning how to speak he adopts all his baby’s weird mannerisms (it started off as a cute joke but then realized he couldn’t stop)

Cries at every baby milestone until they’re like 10

Will not stop bringing up embarrassing childhood moments, especially in front of their kids’ friends/significant others

Cuts fruit for them instead of apologizing

Hoshi

Will fully ally himself with his kids

Like legit would do anything for them. ANYTHING.

I’m talking borderline go to his kid's school to beat up their hypothetical bullies himself sort of dad

The kids can always count on him to say yes if you say no

Absolutely DEVASTATED when they grow out of the tiger stuff he buys for them and become angsty teens

“What do you mean tigers aren’t cool? Do you not love your old man anymore?”

Wonwoo

Quiet doting dad

Definitely more affectionate when the kids are younger but gets into the awkward advice-giving stage when they grow up

LAME DAD JOKES GALORE, groaning is a regular activity in this household

Tries to google basic algebra every time his kids ask for help on math homework because he doesn’t want to admit he forgot everything

Chaotic af unsupervised. “Guess we’re having pizza again tonight kiddos” kinda dad because he cannot and should not cook

Jihoon

Another quiet dad, but make it savage

I feel like he would just love roasting his kids (affectionately of course)

And always overwhelmingly acts of service so his kids know they are loved

Allowance randomly appearing under their pillow, their favorite foods magically stocked in the fridge, always relenting to one last bedtime story no matter how tired he is

Would let you have final say but he makes it really clear he’s on their side and empathizes with them but its out of his hands

“Next time just don’t get caught, okay?” *winks*

Minghao

Loves loves loves just spending time with his babies

Doesn’t matter what he’s doing he just wants to be in the same room as them or cuddling and holding them

Emphasizes equality in your relationship so his kids can grow up with those values and learn to respect others

TURNS EVERYTHING INTO A LIFE LESSON OH MY GOD

Doesn’t believe in allowances but will cave and literally buy them anything they want if they ask

Would rather die than miss any important event (competition, speech, recital, talent show, graduation, etc.)

Mingyu

Absolute super dad, what can’t he do? Nonstop home improvement projects, cooks anything his kids are craving, offers to drive everyone everywhere

But also the whiniest dad ever lol constantly complains about people “ruining his system”

Absolutely FUCKS at the school bake sales, earns them twice the target fundraiser amounts because he's dilf material and knows how to get the moms to spill their pockets

Likes to have the final say, but you’re both usually on the same page in regards to discipline so his kids aren’t getting away with anything

Just the most supportive dad in the universe, the kids learn to never take him for granted

Seokmin

You already know his kids are gonna be spoiled rotten. He will be the favorite parent by default sorry I don't make the rules!!

His arms are the very definition of a safe space

Leaves all the discipline to you because he cannot keep a straight face when delivering a lecture (one time he made them cry and also ended up crying because he felt so bad)

Does so much embarrassing shit just to cheer his kids up when they have a bad day, acts surprised when they tell him he's cringe

Such a pushover that they are probably gonna make fun of him when they're older, but that's okay because they know there's no universe in which their dad will stop loving them

Seungkwan

As long as he can pick them up still, his kids are never on the ground for too long

Two words: SPORTS. DAD.

He could practically captain the cheerleading teams at their school with how many events he's been to

Knows all of his kids’ friends parents, they all get together and have coffee once a month actually

Nags nonstop and complains about everything he has to do for them, but is always diligent and does it without question

Gets so pouty when they start getting embarrassed to show affection, he WILL get his cheek kisses if it's the last thing he does!!

Vernon

Chillest dad in existence?!?

Literally as long as his kids are safe he doesn't give a single fuuuuckkk

“Sleepover? Yeah, call me when you're done and I'll pick you up.”

He WILL argue with you if he doesn't think there's a good reason to say no to them

So cute and encouraging to all their weird hobbies and phases throughout the years. “Lemme see” and “Really? Show me” are regular phrases in his vocabulary

His kids are definitely gonna inherit his legendary facial expressions afnngjdg

Chan

Super affectionate and doting, but also quite strict with them at times

“I just want the best for you, I want to see you succeed”

HAS A PHOTO OF THEM READY AT ANY TIME, lockscreen is a different shot of his kids every day and is eager to show it off even if no one asked

Not so subtly signs his kid up for dance lessons

Just the most encouraging dad ever, makes sure that they know making mistakes are a part of life and that he will always love them no matter what

[stoppit-keepout]

[first image is a picture of a page from Les Miserables, reading: Book fourth: The Friends of the ABC . Chapter 1 - A Group that Barely Missed Becoming Historic]

[second image is a page from another book, this one about Maurice, reading: … from a slight academic acquaintance. The calm, the superiority of outlook, the clarity and the intelligence, the assured moral standards, the blondness and delicacy that did not mean frailty, the blend of lawyer and squire, all lay in the direction of that acquaintance, though it was I who gave Clive his "hellenic" temperament and flung him into Maurice's affectionate arms. Once there, he took charge, he laid down the lines on which the unusual relationship should proceed. He believed in platonic restraint and induced Maurice to acquiesce, which does not seem to me at all unlikely. Maurice at this stage is humble and inexperienced and adoring, he is the soul released from prison, and if asked by his deliverer to remain chaste he obeys. Consequently, the relationship lasts for three years---precarious, idealistic and peculiarly English: what Italian boy would have put up with it?---still it lasts until….]

It's time. Actually we can just repeat that last image again:

A Group That Barely Missed NOT Becoming Historic, but yet !!

Chuckle, he's just so wild for this.

I mean it’s not like Victor Marie Hugo does not frequently in this opus interrupt the plot to just explain a little guy to you, but it’s that there are nine of them.

To do this with nine little guys in a row….

Even if there were nothing else about this set of characters bonking around within the duvet cover of my brain, the structural chaos of the way the musical just suddenly releases the gates and lets flood the stage with Charli XCX's Boys one hour into a show where they had not been previous, is not in fact dissimilar at all to the sensation of reaching this chapter of the novel, wholly halfway through, and having a nine-part dramatis personae and a floor plan poured onto you like a sheaf of papers from a moderate height. Hugo what??!, you call out as you scramble to keep them together, but he’s already laughed his way offstage, and will now never explain himself.

Anyway, what follows is exactly what you want: a sort of recap-rundown-commentary on who all I’ve just been re-introduced to, and how.

We start at the top:

Enjolras

I mean of course he is, this feels like it explains a Lot actually, but my god Enjolras is a wealthy only child? Oh baby…very dark turns this story could have taken!

Anyway he’s gorgeous and mean. Classic rich twink behavior.

Priestly, disdainful (these are all direct Hapgood translations)

Rosy pale, 22 but looks 17—oh so Timothée Chalamet in Call Me By Your Name but blonde and loves WAR

Literally described as not knowing women exist and glaring at any that approach him, so, guess maybe this liberté and egalité really is just for the fraternité

Does not break revolutionary focus for any of the world’s stock of beauty or joy

I’ve never played DND but the amount of warlike and priestlike imagery combined here makes me suspect this guy is hardcore cleric, and it’s the one angle where I’m interested in him in himself and not just as a cold beautiful force that contextualizes other characters’ inner dramas

“Woe to the love affair that should have risked itself beside him!” I said this to a friend, and then revisited it to be sure, and will now at last say it here: the point of Enjolras is that he’s never going to sleep with you, and that too has meaning! The Point of Enjolras is that he’s just everyone’s Clive. Here is E.M. Forster in 1960 looking back on his Maurice (1914) and describing, I swear to you, Clive Durham, not his Edwardian Oxbridge AU Enjolras (as far as we know):

What Italian boy, what French, maybe… Anyway I’m not blowing a whole thesis on passage one so we'll leave it at that, just some food for thought!

Combeferre

“Between the logic of the Revolution and its philosophy there exists this difference—that its logic may end in war, whereas its philosophy can end only in peace.” I had to Close the Book for a second, uh oh! Uh oh I’m gonna be real tender over you in 2022 huh!

Best friend, confidante

“The Revolution was more adapted for breathing with Combeferre than with Enjolras.” I find the atmosphere he creates incredibly comforting. Imagine if you could breathe.

Gentle 😩

Sweet nerd! Gets excited over arteries and geology—a Harry Goodsir! Oh noo

It’s the 1830s and Combeferre is also complaining that literary education just confines itself to “the classics”—Combeferre wants to decolonize yr syllabus

Combeferre is out of undergrad and it shows

A purist & scientist but also thoughtful even on mythic creatures

“He believed in all dreams, railroads, the suppression of suffering in chirurgical operations, the fixing of images in the dark chamber, the electric telegraph, the steering of balloons”—I just, love him

Maybe holds a bit too much of an emphasis on innocence as goodness, like Hugo!

Je(h)an Prouvaire

Ren Faire. We love him.

(Knows what a woman is, and feels bad they have it so shitty)

Likes long walks, flowers, and POETIC GRANDEUR

Also a wealthy only son! Blushing awkward dear but doesn’t let that stop him

Really I’m loving how endearingly embarrassing Prouvaire is, everyone needs an embarrassing friend who dresses poorly and has romantic nerd interests

Feuilly

Working class hero

Self-taught liberator of the people

Wow a lot of this ends up being a lament for the partition of Poland in 1772

Pretty sparse on personality details here since so much really was just about Poland, but: a generous heart

Courfeyrac

One of my favorite French names to say, definitely badly

“The particle, as everyone knows, possesses no significance.” Sounds like something someone without a particle would say, M. Hugo

“We might almost, so far as Courfeyrac is concerned, stop here, and confine ourselves to saying with regard to what remains: ‘For Courfeyrac, see Tholomyes.’” [Gasp], No! Say more! Say you lied just now and he’s not like Tholomyes!

“Only, Courfeyrac was an honorable fellow. Beneath the apparent similarities of the exterior mind, the difference between him and Tholomyes was very great.” Oh thank god! Also what! How can I ask this weird specific thing of Hugo and he delivers

“There was in Tholomyes a district attorney, and in Courfeyrac a paladin.” Wait hang on, now what is happening. Do we have to DND all these fuckers? Oh god I do Not know enough about DND…ah whatever I’ll do this blind: Feuilly is a ranger, Prouvaire is a druid, Combeferre’s a…wizard, a warlock? Whatever one is book learning not deals. Alright who’s next!

Bahorel

A ROGUE!

Aw I remembered “daring waistcoats and scarlet opinions”—now that’s a Hugoism

The button at the end of this run-on description “a student in his eleventh year”—sublime

Anyway he is good-nature and keeps bad company (again sublime), a bit of a scamp, respects others so they respect him, and saunters. “To stray is human. To saunter is Parisian.”

“In reality, he had a penetrating mind and was more of a thinker than appeared to view.”

Y’know what I think he’s Eames

Lesgle/L’Aigle/Legle [de Meaux]/Bossuet

The depths of French punning with this name I simply cannot fathom

Anyway, extremely unlucky and extremely jovial about it

Ostensibly a law student. Mostly just lives with Joly because he’s always losing what money he has.

Feels like a Dickens character really. What will befall this young man next! Picaresque energy.

Joly

Medical student

Hypochondriac to the point of mysticism—well that’s fun

The gayest! #text

Agreeably eccentric

Oh I’m really elated that the rest of them actually do call him Jolllly, that that was canon

“Joly had a trick of touching his nose with the tip of his cane, which is an indication of a sagacious mind.” Okay!

So he’s just any character played by Ben Whishaw, yeah? Neurotic fluttery-manic bird-boned weirdo, adorable.

Haha Hugo you’re feinting like you’re gonna skip him. I know you aren’t.

Grantaire

Le sceptique

“Grantaire was a man who took good care not to believe in anything.” there is So. Much. packed into That!

What this litany of how he knew “the best place for everything” actually tells is that Grantaire holds a lasting memory of every nice moment he has experienced. Haha fuck, fuck fuck fuck

“Grantaire is impossible” is a hilarious thing to say about his appearance. Also how do other English translators do what Florence Hapgood has chosen as “homely,” “inordinately” so

Knows what women are, thinks they’re all beautiful

A libertine, a fatalist, very drunk

It’s reeeaally presented as Grantaire being almost transfixed by the oppositeness of Enjolras to him. It’s like he’s nigh helpless in the matter, like it’s planetary—Grantaire is mess and doubt, he is therefore anchored to this pristine believer.

“He had need of Enjolras.” God this line fucks me up

The “yielding” descriptor fucks me up too. Grantaire will allow pretty much anything, including, we see, his own harsh treatment

“He was ironical and cordial. His indifference loved. His mind could get along without belief, but his heart could not get along without friendship.” [softly] stop..

Anyway love when Hugo just falls to listing every gay ass Greek figure he can think of to make sure we really get it

Haha IT’S SAD :(

Anyway I’ve made this:

Do Les Amis Know What A Woman Is, Ranked

Enjolras - no

Joly - loses half his points because so much of his definition is Pliny the Elder fabulisms

Feuilly - aware of the principle, mostly as pertains to the partition of Poland

Bahorel - sure! dames!

Bossuet - haha oh yes a woman robbed me once

Courfeyrac - would you like to know what a woman is ;)

Prouvaire - yes, the poor creatures

Combeferre - 100% a brother of sisters, at minimum two

Grantaire - all Women are Goddesses

Not Rated: Marius - give him a moment!

[Brickolage]

[gardening--tools]

me while playing fo4 because i’m an opinionated bitch and i disagree with bethesda’s character design

anyway. presenting,

a detailed look at every companion’s appearance, according to me.

(these are all headcanons. they might not be yours, but they are mine. i wrote this as a fic-writing reference, but i don't mind sharing so long as we're all nice about it. also, spoilers ahead for companion quests, both in vanilla game and dlcs. you've been warned okay love you have fun. sorry in advance that you can clearly tell who my favorite character is.)

cw: heights represented by the united states customary system. sorry metric users :/

Ada. Modified RobCo Assaultron. 2074 model. SN has been sanded off and replaced with "ADA", painted carefully (lovingly) in blue script. It's clear that it has been reapplied multiple times, as many times as necessary. Post-Mechanist quest, she requests to have the names of her fallen friends painted on her body as well.

Cait. Pre-addiction recovery, scrawny-strong. Blood, muscle, bone and not much else. Very short. Like, south-side of 5'3". Has a very rectangular body shape. Hard angles. Was bright strawberry blonde when she was a kid, but it got darker as she got older. Hazel eyes. Freckles year-round and all over. She doesn't burn super easily, but she doesn't really tan either. Just freckles. Nose is crooked from being broken too many times. Post-addiction recovery she is a beef. cake. With Sole's help and resources she gains plenty of weight post recovery. Other than the normal weight gain that comes after recovering from addiction, she finds she enjoys exercise—especially weight lifting—and that it helps her manage her cravings. Her biceps are unfair. If I can be honest, I really only shared this so I can start proselytizing for my Fat Cait Agenda.

Codsworth. Standard GAI Mister Handy. 2076 Model. SN: 01HND-7619-0163. This is only visible because the 2076 Handys had their SN's embossed. All other markings that were printed or painted on have eroded away. A cute fact about Codsworth is that, despite his 200 years of wear and tear, he doesn't have a single dent on his exterior panels. Not. A. Dent. Scratches, yes. Scuffs, sure. No dents. He takes his structural integrity very seriously, thank you. He will brag about this if you let him.

Curie. Pre-companion quest, Modified GAI Miss Nanny. 2072 Model. SN has been scratched off and replaced with what is probably "CURIE", but the combination of chicken scratch writing and 200 year old marker makes it illegible. Post-personal quest, Generic Female Synth Body. Average body weight, brown hair, brown eyes. (I know she technically has "Hazel Blue" eyes but I disagree. It's my post and I get to make the rules here.) Her only deviation from "average" is her height. Generic Synth Height is 5'10", for both male and female synths. Takes time to look neat—neatly trimmed nails, trimmed hair, etc—and enjoys it.

Danse. M7-97 was a vanity design* so Danse looks a little different from the Generic Synth design. Still has the brown hair, brown eyes, but is a touch shorter than the standard. 5'8". Latino or Hispanic. His hair is insanely thick, but his beard always grows in a little patchy and with the odd blond patch just below his right ear. (This was not an intentional part of his “design.” Genetics, even synthesized genetics, get funky sometimes.) Carries weight like a strongman weightlifter. Thicker than average, even for the Brotherhood, so he's always had to have his flight suits and PA specially altered. (Thicker than average in regards to BODY TYPE you sickos– This is not that kind of post lmao.)

(This post from slocumjoe is a huge influence for my headcanon for Danse! Thank you for going through your archive to find it!)

Deacon. The Average Guy Ever™. Average height, average build. I'm firmly in the "Deacon is a Good Spy, actually" camp, so. Uncanny ability to adjust how he looks just by altering his posture. His weight has always easily fluctuated, so he can go from stick thin to bulked up in a matter of weeks. No matter how many surgeries he gets, he cannot hide the freckles. They always come back. He would have had piano hands if he hadn't been a chronic brawler in his youth. Knuckles are very crooked now. Eyes so blue they're nearly grey. Ginger. Has long eyelashes that are frankly illegal for someone who covers his eyes all the time.

Dogmeat. Dog. He has six toes on his back left foot.

Gage. 5'11". In an alternate universe, would tell people he was 5'9" just to fuck with them. Was a towheaded kid whose hair darkened significantly as he grew up. If he spends a lot of time out in the sun, though, it will turn a sandy blonde/light brown. He keeps his hair short because otherwise it gets very curly and floppy and it really kills his "bad-guy raider" vibe. Would be one of those white boys who tans super well but also thinks wearing sunscreen is for the weak. Scarred to shit. Holds onto muscle for a really long time. Underbite. Slutty little waist because I think that's funny.

Hancock. John Prime was already pretty wiry to begin with, and becoming a ghoul has only emphasized this. 5'7" but seems shorter because he's always leaning on something. Draping, even. He's like if a man was also a liquid, somehow. His remaining hair is incredibly thin, but is the most vibrant golden blonde anyone has ever seen. Eyes are dark due to discoloration, but sometimes—if he's taken in a ton of rads—the edges of his irises will glow subtly. Several piercings on his ears, but he used to have more. Lost them on account of his nose falling off. (You know how it is.) Replaced them with an astonishing collection of rings. Cheekbones that could slice a brahmin. Missing his fourth toe on his right foot.

MacCready. Definition of scrunkly. Not a lick of fat anywhere to be found. 5'5". Has a Gunner tattoo on the left side of his forehead and he hates it. It's why he wears his hat so low. Had an ear pierced once, but it got ripped out ages ago. His left earlobe is split now. He very clearly needed braces growing up but obviously didn't have access to that. Bottom teeth are crooked. His cuticles are picked to shit. Sandy brown hair. Cuts his own hair, but only cares about the hair around his face. Line of sight. Sniper. You get it. Is generally too lazy/uninterested in the rest, and will neglect it until it gets too long, so. Mullet (hot).

Nick. See, the problem with my synth grandpa is that this is the only character whose design Bethesda completely and utterly nailed. Like yeah, he does look like that. You got it. You did it. Perfect, no notes. Like all other Generic Synths, he's 5'10".

Old Longfellow. Exactly what you would expect an Old Hermit-Mariner Driven To Eldritch Madness By The Fog and The Sea would look like. The wildest eyebrows anybody has ever seen. Like you could take a comb through those bad boys. His hair is past his shoulders and fades into his beard. Stark white hair due to the stress of living alone on an island and from What He's Seen. You cannot convince me that there are not some Lovecraftian nasties living in the sea. They Know Longfellow, but Longfellow Knows Them. 6' until he stands up straight and then he's like. 6'5". Liver spots across his face and hands. Looks like he has cataracts in both eyes, but somehow can see better than you.

Piper. By far the companion whose Bethesda!verse appearance I disregard the most. In my heart she is a South Asian woman. On the taller side, between 5'8" and 5'9". Super thick, dark brown hair that in fact does just Look Like That (unfair). Her hair grows from fairly far down on her neck. Deep brown eyes. Spends lots of time on her makeup, even when she's out in the 'wealth chasing leads. Prefers red lips and dark liner close to her lid-lines. Her cupid's bow is super pronounced and she does her makeup to highlight it. On the softer side in regards to physique. Has a burn scar on her right forearm from a cooking mishap back when she was still trying to figure out how to live on her own and take care of Nat at the same time. Bites her nails.

Preston. Personification of someone telling you that everything is going to be all right. Tall, 6'. Pretty standard physique for someone who grew up on a farm and then became a soldier in a wasteland militia. Very square hands. Lets his hair grow out a little bit because he (forgets about it) likes it. Brown eyes that look like honey when the sun hits them. Other than the two scars on his face—one running down his left cheek, the other a small nick on his top lip—he has a scar from a bullet wound on his right shoulder. Has a stick and poke tattoo of the Minuteman coat of arms on his left arm, just where his shoulder meets his bicep. Top lip is bigger than his bottom lip. Dimples when he smiles. Huge smile, smiles with his whole mouth. Legs like an adonis. Someone get this man into some 4' inseam shorts, STAT.

Strong. Super mutant. He was a Butcher, so he's a little beefier than your average mutant. Of course, this is only known to other mutants, as the subtleties of mutant physiology tend to be lost on non-mutated humans.

X6-88. Generic Courser Build. While Generic Synths are designed to blend in with the everyman, Generic Coursers are designed to inspire fear in every man. (booo bad joke tomato tomato) 6'3" but stands so perfectly straight that he seems taller. Has the superhero build, but like naturally. Keeps his hair in a short fade. Bottom lip is lighter than the top lip. Has little lines around his mouth from all his frowning. Has one (1) singular scar on his chin. He won't tell you where he got it (it's from him eating it on concrete steps. That was the one mission he asked for an extension on, so the evidence of him beefing it would heal.) Also chronically wears sunglasses. Behind those aviators are grey eyes that are so pale and sharp, they almost look white.

[plor-bindery]

Bound: The Bucket List, by GallaPlacidia

This is actually a gift, but I'm taking a risk that my pal Lately isn't on Tumblr enough to know about this thing, lol. (Lately, if you see this: surprise? Merry Christmas?)

This is, of course, a bind of GallaPlacidia's fic The Bucket List. Galla's fic is no longer on AO3 but is available if you make a very small effort to locate it, which you should if you haven't already done so.

First off: huge thanks to @sits-bound who spotted me their typeset of the fic when mine was not behaving at all. I owe them thanks for this, for their choice for Draco's handwriting (which became quite a Theme for me as I went), and their help in figuring out toner-activated foil, which I used on the endpapers.

Secondly: the UK folks among you will, I hope, recognize this binding as an homage to the Oxford Black n' Red notebook. I wanted to create this binding to look as though it might be Draco's actual bucket list notebook, so I went with this theme in the colour choices and cover design, down to the name tag label (made from HTV) that I imagine Galla's Draco slapping on haphazardly as he frantically began his list.

I made Draco's version of the notebook just slightly different, of course -- with Galla's name in place of the text "black n' red", the name tag, and the little Aelfgifu crest in place of the Oxford one on the original.

(Aside: Aelfgifu is a bit of an inside joke with me and Lately, as we have spent a lot of time imagining a magical college within Cambridge called Aelfgifu College, as well as Draco and Harry's different academic journeys, their collegiate romance, etc., without ever writing more than a few hundred words of same, whoops. But! The college has a crest now! Maybe it'll get a story to go with it!)

This is a favorite, tip-top fic for Lately, and it's up there for me too. I don't think I need to dwell on Galla's brilliance as it's well-known in the fandom. But it was a treat to create my own typeset and bind for this fic. (I kept my first attempt as a personal copy, warts and all.)

More process under the cut.

Materials: Nothing extraordinary here except (as noted) the foiled endpapers. I used 1 mm board to create proper Bradel boards with a notch for the spine piece.

Process: A three-piece Bradel! My first!

I could have done a quarter bind (as the actual commercial notebook uses) but I wanted to learn a true Bradel three-piece bind for a non-fandom bind and this was my chance to try it out. Verdict: kinda neat, and handy when foiling directly to bookcloth (which I did not do here, but did for the non-fannish bind.) Endbands are machine-made and boring. (The actual commercial notebook has no endbands but I couldn't go that far.)

The typeset was fun. Galla's writing is very dialogue-driven, which means a lot of paragraph breaks, which leads to some interesting page break challenges, but in the end it came out nicely. I enjoyed setting Draco's letters, the Prophet article, and the Witch Weekly gossip column. And I had too much fun dropping random shit into the half-title page.

Re the endpapers: yes, I did comb through the fic and pull out all the numbered bucket list items, then all the non-numbered ones referred to in passing, which I then numbered and slotted into the list for the endpapers. I regret nothing. (Not pictured: for the back endpaper, the list is identical except I went through and struck out all the items Draco knocked off his list in the course of the story.)

I still don't own a colour printer! But I do own a little tiny photo printer (Canon Selphy) which is what I used to print the Aelfgifu crest, which I then just cut out and glued on. I like the shiny quality, even if it probably should be more like printed HTV in texture.

I'm quite delighted with the cover design. This one was so fun!

[hjemne]

The best character analysis of Bertholdt I think I've ever seen

a god of destruction: BERTHOLDT HOOVER

1. Wikipedia, “Children in the military” / 2. Kane, Andrew Edmund. “How to Be a Dog” + “The Door of Hope.” Attack on Titan / 3. Amichai, Yehuda. “Wildpeace”. / 4. Half-Light: Collected Poems. Bidart, Frank + “To You, 2,000 Years Later: The Fall of Shiganshina.” Attack on Titan / 5. AJJ, “All the Dead Kids” / 6. Mares, Ashley. “PSALM OF SCATTERED ASHES” + [2.] / 7. Afterletters. Bachmann, Ingeborg. Kolewe, R. / 8. Wikipedia, “Remorse” + “Charge.” Attack on Titan / 9. Henry and June. Nin, Anaïs / 10. The Oresteia. Aeschylus. + “Midnight Sun.” Attack on Titan

edit: changed the quote of the final photo

[r473n]

Oh boy, that was fun!! I have a good few ideas for Mayuri getting ready in the mornings fics now. Wild trip that was.

Making Ashisogi Jizou and the ear pieces took me back to childhood. I tried to do pharaoh hat but gave up mid way because it looked awful. I will do a better job if I ever feel brave enough to go to comicon dressed like this 🤣

Don't get me started on partner and his socks, because I cannot.

Paint was soooo much fun to apply, although there are white smudges all over my house now... I need Mayuri's proprietary recipe for a paint that doesn't melt when you touch things.

I have a video of the whole process, which took me about half an hour, I might post it once I edit it.

Also, the freedom of knowing nobody can see you blush was amazing, helps with social anxiety a lot.

On the subject of Ashisogi Jizo, several notes:

1. You can't sit on a normal chair without having AJ's hilt poking you in the throat or stabbing yourself on the little spikes.

2. Walking is surprisingly comfortable, but do not attempt to run. DO. NOT.

3. Pommel is very handy to rest your arms on.

4. Everyone referred to it as 'my penis' for the entire night. Ie. 'don't point you penis at me.' and 'will you take your penis off so you can sit normally!' It is now my HC that that's how everyone refers to AJ in SS behind Mayuri's back.

Having Urahara in my kitchen was sureal. Also his hat fit me perfectly, coincidence? I think not.

Why do I look shorter than Toshiro here? Not sure, I swear I am tall...ish. I just wanted to show you the back cos I had to paint it, and it came out not bad!

Had to drink water via trans straws not to mess up my lipstick (I swear it's water, I don't drink alcohol. Also, I'm pretty sure that amount of vodka or whatever clear alcohol would be incompatible with my life) .

And, last but not least, convo between my mum and my partner because her answers made me laugh.

[arc852]

Lost Doll

Summary: Jimmy regretted going to the Halloween party with Grian and Joel. As he insists on getting back to their dorm on his own, he gets found and mistaken for a doll.

Warnings: fear, alcohol, being drunk, and being referred to as an object

Word Count: 3405

AO3 Link

It's a day late but Happy Halloween! I hope you guys enjoy this special Halloween themed fic!

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 Jimmy was starting to regret insisting on coming to the Halloween party with Grian and Joel. Though he was tucked away safely in Grian’s pocket, the noise of many other humans just outside the fabric walls was becoming just too much for him. He thought he would be fine after going to classes with them. And not to mention of the watching of parties he did from before he even met Grian and Joel. He thought at least some of that would have come in handy for helping him deal with it. But being right in the center of it was a lot different than watching from a distance or being in class.

 The humans were a lot louder than while in class and there was loud, blaring music playing all around them to match. He really should have listened to Grian and Joel when they said it might not be a good idea. Jimmy really just wanted to go home now.

 He squirmed in Grian’s shirt pocket, adjusting himself so he could hit the wall behind him. The wall being Grian’s chest. It was only a moment later there was a weight gently pressing on his other side. Jimmy pressed against that side as well and then the pressure left.

 “I’ll be right back.” Jimmy just barely heard Grian say over all the noise. He actually felt it more than anything. His time in chest pockets taught him that a deep rumbling came with every word spoken.

 He knew Grian started to move again as he felt the gentle sway of the pocket. Everything around him got just a bit quieter, but still no less overwhelming. Soon, the movement stopped and Jimmy looked up to see three fingers slipping into the pocket with him and descending onto him. Jimmy didn’t so much as react as the fingers carefully maneuvered around his body and then pinched him between those three fingers just enough to make sure Jimmy wouldn’t slip from the grasp.

 He was then pulled out of the pocket and quickly released from the pinched grip and set onto Grian’s open palm. Jimmy quickly gained his bearings and glanced around, seeing that Grian had huddled into the corner, as far from everyone else as he could get.

 Jimmy then looked up at Grian and was a bit taken aback, having briefly forgotten that Grian was currently in a costume. The fake, thick beard was a strange sight on the human for sure. Grian had, for some reason, decided to go as a fisherman. It was a good costume, but it left Jimmy confused as to why Grian picked that above everything else.

 At least Joel’s costume made sense. He had gone as Shrek.

 “What’s up?” Grian asked, his voice a little louder than normal as he tried to be heard over all the other noise. Jimmy winced a bit and that only cemented how much he wanted to get out of here.

 “I think I’m done for the night.” Jimmy said, his own voice going a bit louder. His voice was more likely to be drowned out but thankfully it seemed Grian was close enough to hear him just fine. “I wanna head back to our dorm.”

 Grian’s expression shifted to concern and he nodded. “Yeah, of course. I’ll go get Joel and we can head out.”

 “No, no! You guys don’t have to do that.” He didn’t want to cut Grian and Joel’s time short. They were both still clearly having fun and Jimmy didn’t want to be the one to ruin that. “I can get back on my own.”

 Grian’s eyebrows furrowed. “Get back on your own?”

 Jimmy nodded. “Yeah. Grian, I know this building like the back of my hand. I can just go through the walls and be back in our dorm in no time.”

 Grian bit his lip, thinking it over. “Are you sure? Cause we don’t mind leaving early.”

 Jimmy frowned. “Well, I do. I don’t want you guys leaving because of me. I’ll be fine.”

 Grian stared at him for a moment longer, looking like he wanted to say something more. Maybe to keep trying to convince him to just let them take him back. But he ended up sighing, his gaze softening. “Alright. I don’t really like it. But alright.” He looked around. “Where should I drop you off?”

 Jimmy looked around to see where they were in the room. He knew this room was one of the ‘premium’ dorms. A bigger version of the normal dorms found on the upper floors. It was slightly hard to focus with everything going on but if he remembered correctly then…he was pretty sure his entrance into the walls was on the side they were already on.

 “You can just drop me off right here.” Jimmy said, turning his eyes back to Grian. “My exit should be close by.”

 Grian let out a little breath. “Okay, if you’re sure.” Jimmy could tell he wasn’t really happy about dropping Jimmy off in the middle of a party but Jimmy would be fine. Grian knelt down and let Jimmy off on the ground, where Jimmy was quick to duck close to the leg of the desk right next to them. Jimmy sent Grian a thumbs up but Grian still looked worried. “I’ll see you back at the dorm.” Grian said before standing back up and moving back into the crowd of people.

 Jimmy stayed and watched for a moment, just able to make out Grian reaching Joel and whispering something to him before someone else got in the way and they were hidden by the rest of the party. Jimmy could only assume Grian was telling Joel that Jimmy decided to leave early.

 He turned away from the crowd and started along the wall, looking for the opening that would lead him into the walls. But as he continued to walk and the amount of wall left dwindled, Jimmy started to panic a bit. He should have already passed by his entrance. If it hadn’t come up yet then that meant…

 Jimmy’s eyes widened and he backed away from the wall slightly, eyeing it up and down. He was on the wrong side of the room. He thought for sure he was on the right side but the noise and amount of humans in the room must have confused him and got him all turned around. 

 This wasn’t good. He had told Grian he would be okay and now he wasn’t sure what to do. 

 He took a deep breath, calming himself enough to look over his options. Trying to go to Grian and Joel in this crowd would be suicide, so that was a no go. He could stay put and hide, wait for the party to be over and hope that when Grian and Joel got back and noticed he was missing would then come back to get him. But who knows how long that would be?

 He could stick close to the wall and follow it over to the other side. The wall was mostly covered in furniture to hide behind but there were a few gaps that would be risky to take. But it seemed like, other than waiting who knows how long, that was his best option. If he stuck close and went quick he should be fine.

 Keeping one hand on the wall, he started following it. He got to the corner, still covered by the bed. He went a bit farther, now hidden by the nightstand and then a bookshelf. But as the bookshelf ended, Jimmy paused, realizing there was a fairly large gap between the bookshelf and the next piece of furniture, which appeared to be a dresser.

 Jimmy looked around, making sure the coast was clear. There were some fairly close humans but they seemed to be focused completely on the conversation with each other. Deciding to just go for it, Jimmy started running toward the safety of the dresser.

 Jimmy skidded to a halt and threw himself back as a sudden shoe appeared in his vision, just barely missing him as it walked by. Jimmy yelped, his voice thankfully lost in the noisy atmosphere. He landed on his back, breathing heavily at almost having gotten stepped on. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he should have just waited.

 Jimmy came to the decision to head back to where he had been to wait it out, but before he could pick himself up and move, a shadow fell over him. Jimmy’s eyes darted up in time to see a giant hand descending upon him. Jimmy tensed but didn’t even have the chance to try and get away as the hand scooped him off the floor and wrapped around his body.

 Jimmy was frozen in fear as he was lifted up to the human’s face, the human’s eyes squinting at him. Jimmy could smell the alcohol on his breath and Jimmy felt his own breath catch in his throat. But then, suddenly, the human turned his head to the crowd. “Did someone lose a doll!?” He shouted and Jimmy winced at how loud the human was, so loud that it took him a second to process what it was the human said.

 A doll. The human thought he was a doll?

 Jimmy continued to watch the human’s face, watching it contort to a pout before he used his free hand to cup around his mouth. As the human took in a deep breath, Jimmy braced himself as best as he could as soon as he realized what was coming. “I SAID, DID ANYONE LOSE A-”

 “Whoa, Bdubs, what’s with all the shouting?” A voice interrupted the human. Who was apparently named Bdubs. Bdubs seemed a bit startled but got over it quickly as he turned to see who it was.

 “Etho!” Bdubs yelled and then shoved Jimmy in Etho’s face. “I think someone lost a doll! Probably as part of their costume or something.” Bdubs said as Etho was forced to look at Jimmy. Jimmy remained as still as possible, not blinking, barely even breathing. If they thought he was a doll maybe he could still get out of this.

 “Well, I don’t think shouting is going to find its owner.” Etho replied while grabbing Bdubs’ wrist to carefully move it, and Jimmy, out of his face.

 Bdubs pouted again. “How else am I supposed to find them then?”

 Etho hummed and as both of the human’s gazes were off of him, he took this moment to blink and breathe in deep. He froze once more when Etho’s gaze landed on him, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Well, you could ask Cleo. She practically made most of the costumes here. She might know who's missing a doll with their costume.”

 Bdubs perked up. “Great idea!” Bdubs gave no other warning as he proceeded to take off into the main part of the party, pushing past people as he looked for Cleo. The human was also making no effort to be gentle with him, swinging him about in his too tight fist as he moved. It was disorienting and Jimmy had to keep himself from getting sick.

 But despite all this he still refused to move. If they all thought he was a doll then a doll he would be. At least until he could figure out how to get out of this.

 Bdubs must have spotted who he was looking for because the next thing Jimmy knew, the human was shouting again. “Cleo! Cleo, Cleo, Cleo!”

 “There you are Bdubs, I’ve been looking for you.” Cleo said, coming into view for Jimmy. She was currently dressed in what was probably the most amazingly realistic zombie costume Jimmy had ever seen. Not that he’s seen a lot but still.

 “Cleo! Do you know anyone that had a doll as a part of their costume?” Bdubs said, getting right into it. Cleo tilted her head, confused.

 “A doll?” She asked.

 “He found a doll on the ground.” Etho chimed in and Jimmy was a bit surprised he had kept up with Bdubs in the crowd. “I found him shouting into the party if anyone had lost it.”

 “Ah.” Cleo said, like that was perfectly normal. “Well, I don’t remember making a doll with anyones costume but I might recognize it. Come on then, let's see it.”

 Bdubs nodded very seriously and held up his hand with Jimmy wrapped around in it in between the three of them. Jimmy was maybe at chest level as Cleo looked him over. He didn’t even dare to breathe as she was looking so closely at him.

 He couldn’t really breath even if he wanted to though. Bdubs’ grip around him was even tighter than before and it took everything in Jimmy not to squirm.

 He watched as Cleo’s eyes widened a bit as she looked him over. Her mouth fell open a bit, just for a moment, before closing shut with a small snap. Jimmy was very confused on what it meant but it was hard to think with how hard he was being squeezed.

 He watched as Cleo’s eyes went soft and she hummed lightly. “I think you’re holding it a bit too tightly there, Bdubs.” Cleo said, pointing to the vice-like grip Bdubs had on him.

 “Oh, am I?” Bdubs asked, looking down at Jimmy with squinted eyes. Yes, very much yes, Jimmy couldn’t help but think. Thankfully, Bdubs loosened his hand and Jimmy felt like he could actually breathe again. Though it took everything in him not to let in a big breath right then and there.

 Cleo sighed and tilted her head. “Bdubs, sweetheart, how much have you had to drink?” She asked, changing the subject once she noticed how out of it he seemed.

 Bdubs blinked and even Jimmy could see he was having to think a little too hard about it. “Not that much.” Bdubs settled with. But Cleo did not look convinced.

 “Etho?” She asked.

 “8 shots.” Etho answered almost immediately. Cleo couldn’t help but sigh again.

 “Yeah, alright, we’re cutting you off and cutting this short.” Cleo said and then turned to Etho. “Can you make sure he drinks some water and gets back to his dorm in one piece?” She asked and Etho nodded.

 “But-But what about the doll?!” Bdubs cried, still too loud, and held Jimmy out and up higher, practically shoving him in Cleo’s face. Cleo appeared unfazed by this but Jimmy tensed.

 “Oh, don’t worry. I know exactly who it belongs to.” Cleo said with a small smile on her face. Jimmy’s eyes widened against his will at this information. He had no idea how this Cleo person would know that. Nothing more was really said though as Bdubs mumbled something intangible before transferring Jimmy over to Cleo’s hand. Jimmy remained as stiff as possible as he was now laid out on Cleo’s open palm. He really hoped the slight rise and fall of his chest was unnoticeable.

 It was one thing to be held by someone too drunk to tell but Cleo appeared very much sober and that did not ease Jimmy’s concerns at all.

 “Go on. I’ll catch up with you two as soon as I return this little guy.” Cleo said and Etho nodded again, grabbing hold of both of Bdubs’ shoulders to start navigating him out of the party, Bdubs protesting and complaining the whole way. Cleo hummed as she watched them go for a moment and then looked down at Jimmy. Jimmy tried hard not to react to her gaze.

 “So…you’re a doll, are you?” Cleo asked and Jimmy felt as though she was actually asking him. Not talking at him but to him. Jimmy’s mouth went dry. Did she know?

 Jimmy, of course, remained still. Not answering. Acting as nothing more than a doll. Cleo hummed and then shrugged. “Alright then.” She sent him one last smile before her other hand cupped over and on top of him, hiding him from view. 

 Jimmy took this moment, as he could feel Cleo start to walk through the crowded party, to take in a deep breath and blink. He still tried not to move too much though, since Cleo would still be able to feel if he did.

 Was Cleo even taking him to the right people? How could she even know? Did she know Grian and Joel?

 Wait…didn’t they have a friend named Cleo?

 Before Jimmy could dwell on that thought any further though, Cleo’s voice spoke up. “Grian, Joel, there you two are.”

 Jimmy couldn’t help but let out a sharp intake of breath when he heard Joel speak. “Cleo! Hey! What’s up?”

 “Nice costume by the way.” Grian commented.

 “Thanks.” Cleo said. “And well, Bdubs went and found something that I think might belong to you two.”

 Jimmy could just see the confused look on Grian and Joel’s faces. “What is it?” Grian asked and yeah, he sounded pretty confused too.

 “First, let’s go somewhere a bit more private, yeah?” Cleo said and then didn’t wait for an answer as Jimmy felt her start to walk again. The noise around them lessened quite a bit before they stopped.

 “Why did we have to meet out in the hall for this?” Joel asked, a bit annoyed. 

 “Just easier to talk this way. Anyway, Bdubs found your doll on the ground.” Cleo revealed and there was a brief moment of silence.

 “Our…doll?” Grian asked, still very confused. Cleo hummed and lifted her cupped hands, uncupping the top to reveal Jimmy, still lying there unmoving. He did allow his eyes to dart over to Grian and Joel though, whose own eyes widened as soon as they saw him.

 Immediately, Joel’s hands darted out and lifted Jimmy from Cleo’s palm before pulling him close. Jimmy relaxed as soon as he was back in the familiar hands, thankful he had ended up back with Grian and Joel after all of this. “Wha- Why do you have him!?” Joel then questioned as soon as he knew Jimmy was safe in his grasp.

 Cleo put her hands up. “Like I said, Bdubs found your doll on the ground and then came to me with it to see if I recognized who it belonged to.” 

 Grian and Joel exchanged a look, their eyes wide as they realized what was happening. “Right, yeah, our doll.” Grian said with a bit of a nervous chuckle. “Thank you for returning hi-um, it, to us. We didn’t even know we had lost…it.” Grian winced at his own words.

 “Of course. Least I could do.” Cleo said and then turned around with the intent of leaving but Joel stopped her.

 “Hey, wait. How did you even know this…doll was ours?” Joel said, feeling just as weird as Grian had at calling Jimmy a doll.

 Cleo raised an eyebrow at them and smirked. “Please. I’d recognize my own work anywhere.” She then turned back around and continued walking off. “I’ll see you two later!”

 Grian and Joel watched her leave, eyes wide in shock as they realized what Cleo had meant. Jimmy, too, felt stupid for not having realized sooner. “I-I guess she would recognize the clothes she made, huh?” Jimmy said.

 “Yeah…” Grian said but then trailed off and turned his focus onto Jimmy. “But forgetting that for a second, Jimmy, are you okay? What the heck happened?”

 “Yeah, the last thing Grian told me was that he dropped you off by a wall entrance and you were heading back to the dorm.” Joel said, his teeth clenched in worry. “And now Cleo comes up to us calling you a doll and saying Bdubs found you?!”

 “Um…well…” Jimmy squirmed a bit, looking down. He really should have just waited the party out. Or better yet, had just allowed Grian and Joel to have taken him home in the first place.

 Grian noticed Jimmy’s discomfort and sighed. “We’ll talk about this later. Let’s get you back to the dorm and away from this party first.” Jimmy nodded at that, thankful to be getting away from the party.

 Joel held Jimmy closer to his chest, hiding him from view as they started heading back to their dorm. Jimmy was prepared for a lot of worrying once they got back but for now, he simply leaned against Joel’s touch and allowed himself to relax.

[vinelark]

ALL timkon recs I BEG

hello hi! here are some of my favs! it got long so putting some under the cut

💄 Lipstick on the glass by @cairoscene read for timkon being soft and goofy and disgustingly in love, set in vague future college-y years with amazing core four dynamics too. cair is one of the funniest people to ever exist and we are so blessed that they decided to write some timkon. (also read for my own greatest contribution to literature, the fictional “jerry the void nexus” meme)

🎢 been a number and a name by @wynterstars i had SO MUCH FUN reading this one, a 90s comics-divergent AU where robin and superboy become friends—and crushes—when superboy is pretty new on the scene. feat. lex luthor being terrible, tim staging a rescue operation that at one point involves platform shoes and a blonde wig, spice girls references, and fantastic action sequences. it’s also a series, with an installment focusing on kon & clark, and a currently updating longfic sequel with SO MANY timkon identity shenanigans (my beloved) and kon feelings (also my beloved).

📸 the surveillance series by @smilebackwards i feel like i rec this all the time but it’s because it’s THAT GOOD. a tim-centric AU where tim joins the family late, but is still involved in bat business without the bats realizing. there’s some fun timkon identity shenanigans at the top, and some of my all-time favorite tim characterization (ruthless! lonely! brilliant!) plus a great tim & bruce arc, too.

🦉 Detours by miyaji_08 this is part 2 of a series and i def recommend reading the whole thing! a reverse robins + joker jr au that has lots of trauma and lots of healing, and in part 2 there’s timkon identity shenanigans that’s simultaneously enemies to lovers + And They Were Roommates. tim sure does run a gauntlet of horrors in this series, but it has so much healing and also one of my fav reverse robins concepts i’ve read so far.

📱 unfurl by @burins tim and kon might be dating, and there’s no kryptonian sex ed handy. bruce, being bruce, makes it his business, which means talking to clark and Realizing some things about his own feelings. superbat are billed first here, but i think timkon steal the show—i laughed out loud like five different times reading this. hilarious and sweet on all sides. (and if you like this, check out their timkon road trip fic!)

🌾 A Saturday Evening by malcyon in which tim visits the kent farm for family dinner with kon, feat. very sweet established relationship timkon and fun superfamily dynamics, and it touches on tim’s past grief over kon’s death (and complicated feelings post-undeath).

🤼‍♂️ Sore Loser by @hearteyeshayley kon learns that tim always let him win while sparring, and has to process that. this was such a fun exploration of tim’s prowess as a fighter—one who regularly has to go up against superpowered friends and foes alike—and also tim as a person who is always doing mental calculations about the people around him (in an endearing way). kon, too, got his time to shine and grow, and the ending was so smart and sweet.

🔮 Ascension by Violet_Witch an AU longfic where tim is a witchling and kon is a fallen angel who has (oops) just lost his wings. tim sets out to help get kon’s wings back, and there’s a ticking clock because angel wings are dangerous in the wrong hands—and tim has a big, horrible secret that’s about to come due. the plot/worldbuilding of this was WILDLY cool, and there was a big ol misunderstanding in the middle that had me clawing my face off (in a good way).

🌌 straight on ’til morning by merils kon vs. the terrifying ordeal of growing up, feat. sweet friends-to-lovers timkon and really thoughtful exploration of some of kon’s canon past relationships and their abusive dynamics. i haven’t finished this one yet but it’s been rec’d multiple times and i’m excited to dive back in (and it's recently complete!)—and what i have read so far gave me an amazing sequence of kon and dick interacting and dick’s big brother mode activating in an instant, which is something i now desperately need more of.

📧 aaaand would it even be a reclist by me if i didn’t include send to all by @cairoscene the absolute moment i find myself feeling down i go reread this and boom. i am instantly laughing again. timkon are just one part of a bat grab-bag here but they are so so funny and cute and in-character. maybe one day i’ll compile the timkon-centric sequel that exists in my head but for now i’ll just go reread this for the zillionth time.

okay yeah!! i’m probably missing so many good fics here because i constantly have like a zillion tabs open that i plan to read someday. also i reserve the right to reblog later like OH I FORGOT— but in the meanwhile, happy timkon reading!

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Past the green

Barbie dolls: Dave Lizewski x gn! Reader

Word count: 6.3k

Summary : you guys are just geeky together you help him when he's bleeding you kiss him you guys almost bang woohoo 🎉🎉🙌🙌

Warnings: you write comics now, you're friends with Katie, mentions of Dave staring at the teachers tits twice oops, blood and cuts mentioned(Dave gets his ass beat), you're kinda a dick but like in a loving manner yk, a good portion of sex jokes and I blue ball you at the end, theres like description of handies but it's like hard to explain, you quote Shakespeare, Dave's kinda an idiot, it's fairly clear that r thinks of him in a wimpy sub type of manner but who knows, insinuated that it's r and Dave's first time together like within in their relationship but I don't say if either of you are virgins, you drive and listen to Sir-Mix-A-Lot, you guys are just geeky and nerdy together yk, insinuated that you're better in English class than Dave but he could be really bad in there you don't know, a small pretentious vibe from you about your comics but it's just confidence shut it, Dave tries to kiss you and you're not feeling it, also you call Dave David a good three times, I insinuated ACAB ideas so idk suck my dick if you don't agree no Dave fic for you ig, small mention of throwing up,mentions of porn and I made a James Potter reference kinda, comic you is called Cardamon but it's supposed to be like a fake identity so sorry if thats your name

You really only dabble in comics. Your friend Katie also dabbled but she read more than you did. She just recently started a new series and wanted the third and fourth volumes. So with a fair amount of convincing, Katie and you were walking towards the only comic book store in town. You held the door open for her before stepping through the door yourself. Katie glanced back at you, smiling at you.

“We’ll be in and out in no time.” She reassured, heading straight for the genre of her comics. You shook your head, following after her.

“Take your time, I can be patient.” Katie smiled at you, reaching for the stacks of comics. You leaned against the table the box she was looking through was sitting on. You glanced around the bookstore. You normally just borrowed some of Katie’s comics, so you’ve only been inside the bookstore once or twice. You turned your head, looking at the back of the store. You froze when you saw Dave Lizewski.

Back against the windows he was sitting in the booth with his two friends. Unfortunately for you, he was facing your direction. He stared down at the milkshake in his hands, stirring the straw around his cup. Dave must’ve noticed you staring at him because his eyes moved up from his cup. You turned your head back towards Katie as fast as you could, hoping not to arise too much suspicion.

Dave was in your biology class and English class. You worked together in English, he wasn’t the best at English. You sat next to each other and you often helped him revise his answers. In biology though, you weren’t entirely sure he even knew you were in there. You weren’t sure he even knew where anything in that class was, well aside from the teacher's tits. You hadn’t told anyone, anyone being Katie, but you were pretty sure you had a hard-core crush on him.

Katie looked up from her books, looking around the store to find what could’ve possibly made you move so fast. She saw Dave staring at the back of your head. Katie looked at you confused. Connecting two and two in her head, Katie gasped. You faced her, silently telling her to be quiet with your face. She leaned towards you, holding up a comic book to hide your faces.

“You totally like him.” She whispered. You shook your head.

“Nope. No. I don’t even know who that is.” You whispered back, throwing in a one-shouldered shrug to sell the act. Katie glared at you. She gently put the book back. She latched onto your wrist, dragging you away from the table and towards Dave. You pulled back trying to stop her but unfortunately for you, Katie was crazy strong. Dave seemed to notice you two on the way, setting his milkshake down and readjusting his jacket. He leaned towards his friends, whispering something you couldn’t hear before dropping back into his seat to play nonchalant. Katie stopped by the side of Dave’s table, keeping her hold on your wrist.

"Hey guys, what’s new?” She asked glancing around at all the faces at the table. Marty set down his open comic and stared up at Katie. Tod stared too but he had a lost puppy look most days so you weren’t surprised.

“Not much, so are you guys into reading comics?” Dave asked, reaching for his milkshake again. Katie nodded. You tried to slink behind her and hide from the awkwardness. Katie jerked on your hand, forcing you to stand next to her again. You glared at her out of the corner of your eye.

“I enjoy reading them, I haven’t read a whole lot. They don’t read them though.” Katie said jutting her thumb over her shoulder at you. Marty glared at you.

“Then why are you in a comic book store?” Marty asked. You thought about insulting him. Getting down in his face and calling him a shit-bag. You settled for giving him a sarcastic smile, looking back at Dave. Dave raised an eyebrow at you before flickering his eyes back at Katie.

"They prefer to make comics than read them,” Katie said. You turned your head towards her.

“Why would you share that?” You whispered. Katie hummed.

“Trust me.”

“You never told me you did that?” Dave said. You shrugged.

“Never asked.” Dave scoffed at you.

“I asked about your hobbies though, you never said you did that,” Dave said, pointing out a hole in your story.

“I like keeping it under wraps, Katie is the only one who has read them.” You said, glancing out the window to avoid eye contact.

“They’re shy with their work, the stories they come up with are so good,” Katie said, making you wish you were sucked up by a black hole. Dave hummed. He leaned forward. He pulled one of his arms up onto the table, holding his head up by his palm.

“So what kind of comics do you write?” Dave asked. You glanced at Katie, please help. Katie pulled her hand away from your wrist.

“You guys talk about that while I go find my books, you sit next to Dave and I’ll be back in a few,” Katie said before pulling away from you entirely. As she passed you while heading for the comics she was looking at before, you whispered to her.

“Katie, Katie, please. Katie, I’m fragile. Don’t leave-“Katie motioned to her ear before shrugging and walking away from you. You turned back to Dave. You gave him an akward smile. He scooted closer to the wall to give you room. You settled into the booth next to him.

“So do you illustrate your books too?” Marty asked. You nodded. You glanced back at Dave.

“What do you write about?” Dave asked. You shrugged.

“Nothing really all that crazy but the last one I was working on was about a ship of aliens landing on Earth and then they tried to blend in with other humans.” You said. You looked at Marty to see him nodding.

“Kinda like Superman?” Todd asked. You tilted your head from side to side.

“Sort of but all the aliens like super built a town and started selling most of the houses to real humans. They would pretend to move in, this is after they have human costumes. Sometime later, a teenager spotted two aliens shed their human skin and he started to get really paranoid so he went on a killing spree and killed everyone in town before walking multiple miles down the road to get to the next town over. So actually not really like Superman.” You said, explaining the plot as fast as you could. Marty stared at you for a long moment. Todd’s jaw had gone slack. Dave let out a snort.

“You only let Katie read these?” Dave asked, tilting his head to the side. You wondered if he knew how much of his movements made you want to rip his clothes off with your teeth.

“Yeah.” Dave gave you an overdramatic frown. He leaned his head against his hand.

“You won’t let me read them?” Dave asked, staring at your wide eyes from behind his glasses. It was incredibly hard to say no to his face. So you turned your head to face Marty.

“No.” Dave groaned and pouted, taking another sip of his milkshake. He patted your arm, setting his drink down.

“While we have you here, Do you think you could weigh in on a debate we’re having right now?” Dave asked, letting his hand drop from your arm. You shrugged.

“So, why do you think no one has tried to be a superhero before?” Dave asked, making Marty and Todd groan.

“Not this again, Dave,” Marty muttered. You considered Dave’s question. Human beings are astronomically stupid, so why hasn’t one slapped on a mask yet?

“I don’t know. Someone probably was stupid enough to do it somewhere. I doubt they made it past ten minutes though.” You said. Marty nodded.

“Someone would have to be crazy stupid to it” Marty argued, looking over at Dave. Todd hummed.

“Not to mention it wouldn’t even be a superhero, just a straight regular hero,” Todd added, making you agree. You forgot about that aspect. Dave shrugged.

“Well, maybe you guys aren’t the creative visionary I am,” Dave muttered. You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah whatever, Dave. Why don’t you call me when you get yourself a supersuit, hm? Use your dumbass as inspo for my next couple of books.” You said, snorting at your own joke. You looked away from the table to see Katie at the register. You stood from the table, knocking on the top.

“Gotta dash, losers. Dave, I’ll see you in English. Marty I'm going to see you when I curse your bloodline tonight. Todd, good seeing you. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, dickheads.” You said, before jogging over toward Katie. You both left the bookstore. Katie asked for all the little details of your conversation.

It was months later when Dave seemed to take you literally. You were scribbling away at your desk, trying to come up with a new idea. You dropped your pencil, almost knocking your head into your lamp. You spun your chair around, hoping maybe dizziness would spark your imagination. Your phone started ringing on your desk. You dropped your feet onto your floor stopping your chair from spinning more. You glanced at the contact name. The fuck does Dave want with you at 2 am?

“Hello?” You asked, your confusion laced deeply into your words. You heard Dave let out a groan that sounded way too close to moan for you. “Oh my god dude what are you doing?” You asked, sitting up in your chair.

“I’m like bleeding out, I think,” Dave said, you heard a car speed by on the other side of the line.

“What?!?”

“Listen, I’m hurt right now. I can’t call anybody else. I just- I need you to come pick me up. Just- please.” Dave let out a huff, you could hear him struggling over the phone. You stood from your chair, finding your closet pair of shoes.

“Yeah. Sure, baby, where are you?” You said, walking out of your room towards the front door. You pulled your keys out of the bowl sitting on top of the table shoved next to the door. You heard Dave huff.

“Next to that weird buffet that shut down two years ago because they found a rat in mac and cheese. I’m in a ditch as of right now.” You snorted. You pulled open your car door, settling into the driver’s seat.

“Okay, I’ll be there in a couple minutes. Sit tight and don’t do anything stupid.” You started the car, grimacing at the blaring radio. Your hand shot for the knob, silencing the radio. Dave hissed on his side.

“I think I might be past stupid. I’m sitting in a ditch, bloodied and torn.” You hummed.

“Right well, just hang in there.” You hung up the phone and headed towards where Dave told you. You felt like it was a little too insensitive to play music on your ride to get your bloodied friend out of a ditch. However, you did seem to forget how boring driving without music was. You were there in a few minutes just like you said. You parked your car in what used to be the parking lot for the buffet. You pulled out your flashlight and got out of your car.

“Dave?” You called. You started wandering the sides of the road, looking into the ditches.

“Oh Davey Boy? Oh Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy-“ Dave’s hand cut off your rambling, shooting up over the edge of the ditch.

“Over here,” Dave called, his voice strained. You looked down both ways of the street before running across it. You shined your flashlight down the ditch. Your jaw dropped at the sight of Dave. His face was covered by a green mask, though it was darkened with blood in some spots. You could see his lip was hurt and his left eye would probably be bruised for weeks to come. His body was covered in what you thought used to be green material. Dave was pressing his hand to his side. He turned his head to the side, groaning at the flashlight.

“ay, ay, a scratch, a scratch.” You muttered. Dave groaned loudly, pulling his head up to glance at his wound. He dropped his head back into the dirt.

“Please stop with the Shakespere. It’s making me wish I called someone else.” Dave muttered. You jumped down into the ditch next to him. You slid your hands under his arms, attempting to pull him up. With a lot of struggles and groans, you were able to get Dave onto his feet. He was leaning most of his weight on you, his arm over your shoulder.

”I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.” You whispered. Dave groaned loudly, dropping his head back. You laughed, making him grin. You started walking, it was hard to get onto the edge of the ditch. Once you reached the top getting across the road was easy.

“Yay, baby’s first steps.” You said, glad you finally reached the side of your car. Dave snorted next to you. You pulled open the door to your backseat. Dave slumped in the backseat. He kept his hand against his side, dropping his head back against the seat. You closed the door and ran around the car to the driver's side. You started the car the second you got in.

“Right, so hospital, or are we diy-ing this?” You asked, glancing back at Dave in the back seat. He was sitting still, staring at the car ceiling. You waited a moment for him to move. You reached your arm back and smacked Dave’s knee. He jolted up, staring at you.

“Do. Not. Die in my car.” You said, placing your hand back on the wheel. Dave sighed, readjusting and lying down across the backseat.

“Not the hospital, I'm taking a nap.” You hummed. You started the car, pulling out of the old buffet parking lot. You started your way back home, planning in your head how you were going to patch up poor Dave. As you turned past the Italian restaurant that you and Dave saw someone throw up into a fake plant, you spoke up.

“Are we going to address why you’re dressed like Kick-ass?” You asked, glancing back at him for a split second, he had already pulled off his mask. His eye was definitely going to be bruised.

“I’m Kick-ass.” He said. You snorted.

“Right, Dave. You’re Kick-ass.” You repeated sarcastically. Dave sighed.

“I am.” You stayed silent. There was a slight wimpy vibe about Kick-Ass that you found attractive. Dave was always showing up to school with new bruises and bandages. He was the one who posed the 'why has no one become a superhero yet' question.

“Oh. My. God. You’re Kick-Ass. Hol-ee shit.” You said, smacking the steering wheel and laughing in disbelief. Dave hummed in the backseat.

“Tried to tell you.” He muttered, turning his head, so he was facing the back of the seat. You scoffed.

“Dude you’re like..” You laughed again when you remembered you had Kick-Ass sitting in your backseat. “a total moron.” Dave flung his hand over his eyes.

“You could be a little nicer you know,” Dave said. You shook your head, keeping your eyes on the road.

“Somebody has to reality-check you. You’re getting your ass beat in a scuba outfit. You’re sitting in the back of an unpublished comic writer’s car. You’re about to have to listen to my CD of my upbeat music because I left my sad one at home. I’m taking you home so I can slap some mermaid bandaids on you and then in a day's time you’re going to be sitting in biology class staring at the teacher’s tits. I mean no offense Dave, but does that sound like something a person making smart decisions would do?” You looked back at Dave through the review mirror. Dave shook his head, staring down at your messy floorboards.

“It was partially hot though, you get two points back for that. Now you’re going to shut up and listen to Sir-Mix-a-lot, and you’re going to like it.” You turned the volume up, hoping to drown out all the bad decisions Dave made tonight. You started singing along, ignoring the scratching worry in your head that Dave would die in your backseat. You pulled into your driveway, parking your car where you always did. You shoved your keys into your pocket before opening the backdoor. Dave tried his best to help you help him out of the car.

You pulled his arm over your shoulder, snatching his mask off your floorboard. You kicked the car door shut before hobbling with Dave to the front door. You opened it, letting it swing inside. You dropped your keys into the bowl. You held onto Dave the best you could as you shut the door. You walked him to your room, letting him flop onto your bed. At this point, you weren’t all that hung up on getting his blood onto things. You could see it coating your hands and spots of it on your forearms. You just didn’t care anymore.

You helped him pull the top of his suit down so you could reach his cut. Did you think about having Dave shirtless on your bed before? Yes, but not like this. You cleaned his skin with a wet paper towel before taking the first aid kit from the bathroom. Once it was clean, it didn’t look too bad. You definitely weren’t experienced in the whole medical field. You found some Closex thing that had a cool picture on the front so you decided to use it. After that, you used a cotton pad and held it in place as you wrapped up his side with some ace bandages.

“That looks something like what I’ve seen on TV.” You said. Dave sat up, groaning in the process. He stood and looked at himself in the mirror. He hummed, rubbing his hand against the bandage. He turned back to you, staring at the blood on your arms.

“Sorry, for being stupid. I shouldn’t be pretending to be a hero, I’m just some stupid incompetent dickhead in a suit. I never should’ve even talked about a real superhero.” Dave muttered. You sighed, slapping your hands together.

“Yeah well, I guess we all say some dumb shit. You actually don’t have to listen to everything I say. I say stupid things like constantly.” You said, leaning back on your hands. Dave moved back to you, sitting next to you. Still shirtless, and still bloodied. Stay focused.

“Yeah, but I like you...r approval. I want you to like think I’m cool and stuff.” Dave said, reaching out to you. You stayed in your position, keeping a frozen smile on your face. Dave moved closer to you, leaning over your legs in an attempt for you to see the seriousness in his eyes. You weren’t entirely sure what to say. You could avoid the conversation entirely and change the subject. You could say you like his “approval” too. You squinted at him.

“Dave, I already think you’re cool just by existing. And I know you did not do all this stupid shit in an attempt to impress me. You knew I was quoting Romeo and Juliet three times today! I'm already impressed.” Dave laughed lightly, leaning even closer. He met your eyes before looking down at your lips. He knocked his nose against yours, his breath warming your face. You caught a hint of copper and wished you had a toothbrush in your pocket. It’s not that you didn’t want to kiss him. It didn’t feel like the right time.

“Whatcha doing David?” You whispered. Dave pulled back. He sniffed.

“Just checking to make sure you didn’t drive drunk, is all,” Dave muttered, slowly inching away from you. You hummed sarcastically. You stood from your bed.

“Right well, I don’t let pigs into my home so if you’re done playing pretend cop...” You trailed off giving Dave the time to respond. He nodded.

“I’m done.” You gave him a small smile.

“Right, you find your glasses. I’m going to go get you a wet washcloth, and a change of clothes. Then we can make you a pallet on the floor because I can’t let you out of my sight.” Dave nodded. You left the room, wandering around the house to collect the list you gave Dave, along with a few other items you thought might help. You headed back to your room with your arms full. You dropped your armload onto your bed. You looked up at Dave to see him with his glasses on.

“Oh, there you, pretty boy. Missed those spectacles.” You turned back to the pile. You pulled out the sweatpants and oversized t-shirt. You stuck them both out to Dave. He thanked you, holding them to his chest. You stepped out of the room while he changed. Eventually, he opened the door again. His face no longer had blood and he was holding his bloody suit. You took the suit from his hands, dropping it into your dirty laundry basket.

“I will wash it and patch it up, your crime-fighting will be set on hold for the next couple of days, okay?” Dave nodded at you. You got busy making the pallet on the floor next to your bed. Dave sat on the edge of your bed, snacking on the ice cream you brought him as a reward for the struggles he went through today.

After a while, you were both snuggled in your own beds, or pallet in Dave’s case. You couldn’t sleep. You knew Dave wasn’t either because he kept shuffling around. Maybe you should’ve kissed Dave. You really rejected him because it wasn’t the right time? But then again, if you didn’t like it in the moment then you had the right to reject him. You flipped over onto your side, staring down at Dave.

“David.” Dave hummed. The blob shape of his head turned towards you. You couldn’t see what his expression looked like in the dark but it was Dave so he probably looked handsome sobbing his eyes out. You dropped your hand over the edge of the bed, reaching out for him. His blankets rustled as he moved his hand to yours. He gently took your hand in his.

“Were you trying to kiss me earlier?” Dave froze, his hold on your hand tightening.

“No.” His voice cracked through his words. You hummed.

“Why?” You asked, glad you were having this conversation in the dark so you didn’t have to face the consequences of talking. Dave’s blankets rustled again, you assumed he shrugged.

“I’ve liked you for a while now, I just thought I was getting that vibe from you. I’m sorry for getting all up in your space like that, I must’ve read you wrong.” Dave said, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand.

“I like you. I just didn’t want to kiss you then. I just want it to be like when you’re not in pain, sitting in my messy bedroom with an open first aid kit sitting next to you.” Dave hummed. His blankets rustled again. You felt his lips brush against the back of your hand.

“Then I can kiss you when the moment is right?” Dave asked. You hummed, pulling your blankets up further.

In the morning, you drove Dave home. He kissed your hand again, before opening the door to his house. He pulled you inside, muttering something about needing your support. His father was in the kitchen, making a disgruntled sound at Dave’s battered face.

“So what’s this then?” Mr. Lizewski asked, pausing to make his breakfast. You glanced at Dave.

“Right yeah, we were riding bikes and I totally ate it,” Dave said, actually selling the act. You hummed, nodding along.

“Oh yeah, you should’ve seen it. We were heading down to the bookstore and he just flipped I swear. It was awful. He got blood all over his clothes so he’s borrowing some of mine as of right now.” You added, hoping Dave didn’t mind your addition to the explanation. His father shook his head.

“Yeah well, I’m worried about you Dave.” You really felt like you impeding now. Dave shrugged.

“I’m fine, just klutzy,” Dave said, taking a step backward. His father glanced back over at you.

“Yeah. Whatever, Davey. You’re my boy, you know that. I love you and want you safe.” His dad stepped forward and cupped his face. He pressed a light kiss to Dave’s forehead before moving back to his pan on the stove.

“Love you too, Dad,” Dave muttered. You awkwardly said your goodbyes. Dave walked you to the door and you kissed the back of his hand goodbye. You drove home and were very happy to find that you were highly inspired by last night’s events.

A short month later, Dave was leaning over towards your ear in English class. You were working on the newest passage your teacher gave you, it was something about a lamb leg.

“What if we do the spiderman thing?” Dave whispered, even though it was group work so he had no reason to whisper. The volume of conversation was loud enough that another conversation would pass under the radar with no problem. You looked away from your paper, facing Dave.

“The what?” You asked. Dave gave you a small smile. He shrugged like he felt he was put on the spot. You raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to explain.

”You know in Spiderman, he and Mary Jane kiss while Spiderman was hanging upside down. It’s been a good couple of weeks and we still haven’t reached the moment. I mean I’m not rushing you or anything. But I thought maybe if we tried the Spiderman thing, we’d get the feeling.” Dave said, apparently stopping the whispering act. You felt a smile grow. Your lovely comic nerd boy-friend was trying to fix your weird ‘it needs to be the right moment’ problem with a comic. You shrugged.

“Yeah, worth a shot.” You said, looking back at the paper in front of you. Dave let out a quiet cheer.

“Plus,” Dave lowered his tone making sure only you could hear him. “You get to kiss the alluring Kick-Ass.” He wiggled his eyebrows at you, making you snort. You tilted your head towards him.

“Oh, well why didn’t you say so? Now I want to do it right now, let’s go right now.” Dave snorted at you, finding your hand on the desk. He intertwined your fingers, smiling at you again. You looked back at your paper.

A day or two later, you and Dave were standing in an alley. Dave was trying his best to pull down the fire escape ladder. You stared at him as he continued to struggle.

“It’ll work just give me- give me a second,” Dave said before groaning again as he pulled on the ladder. You hummed, letting him struggle.

“Take your time, your ass looks great in that.” Dave glanced back at you. He rolled his eyes before yanking on the ladder again. Finally, after Dave had tried over a million times, the ladder screeched down. Dave stepped back as the ladder hit the ground. He looked back at you to make sure you saw his good job. You held up a thumbs up. Dave pulled himself up the ladder, climbing a good couple number of rungs up. He pulled his legs through the space between two of the rungs, effectively sitting. Dave slowly leaned backward, his back pressed against the ladder. He motioned for you to come over with both his hands. You walked towards him, glad to see he estimated the height right, you being face to face.

“Okay okay, how are you feeling?” Dave asked, looking up at you through his mask. You shrugged. You took a moment to pay attention to your surroundings. It smelled faintly of piss. It was cold and the night air was making you shiver. You had been standing outside for so long you were starting to miss your bed. With all the negative feelings stirring in your mind, staring down at Dave made them disperse. Dave was hanging upside down for the chance to kiss you. You smiled, gently resting your hands on his cheeks.

“Yeah, Yeah. I think we got it.” Dave’s cheeks split into a smile.

“Yeah?” He asked. You nodded, an excited laugh slipping out.

“Yeah.” Dave giggled, pulling his arms up from the sides of the ladder. He gripped onto the rung his legs were thrown over, making sure he wasn’t going to fall off. Your hands gently inched towards the edge of his mask. You gently dug your fingers under the hem of his mask, pulling it down towards his nose. You pulled the edge of the mask just barely over the tip of his nose. Dave smiled brightly.

You leaned forward, feeling his breath on your face. Dave leaned forward, pulling his back just barely off the ladder. You pressed your lips against his, slotting his bottom lip between yours. You felt your shoulders relaxed, the weight of the first kiss of your relationship leaving your mind entirely. You let your lips linger on him, dragging out the kiss just a second more than you should. You pulled back and gently stroked his cheek. Dave grinned.

“I’m going to get down and then can we have our second kiss right side up?” Dave asked. You nodded, smiling at him. You did laugh at Dave when he stumbled off the ladder. As much as you wanted the first to be perfect, the second kiss was possibly even more exciting. You moved Dave’s hands to your sides instead of hovering next to you. You didn’t even worry about someone seeing Kick-Ass kiss someone in the alley. You were too focused on the feeling of his lips against yours.

“We’re dating now, right?” Dave muttered against your lips. You nodded. You dug your hands into the front of his green suit, pulling him closer. You could feel the stitching on the side of his suit from weeks ago when you had to drag him out of the ditch.

With Dave and you now officially dating, Kick-Ass seemed to enjoy climbing through your window. You were already 10 or so volumes into your new comic book series. Was it based on your boyfriend and fully titled Kick-Ass: Past the Green? Yes, it was. Were you planning on capitalizing on the popularity of lovely Kick-Ass, taking your finished series to the publishers, (with Kick-Ass’ approval of course)? Yes, but first you had to finish it. You were currently working on the volume you were positive would stay exclusively on your bookshelf.

A knock on the glass of your window made you jump, looking over at the open curtains. You smiled when you saw the green of Kick-Ass’ suit. You dropped your pencil, standing from your desk. You slid the window up, taking a step back to let Dave slip through. He stepped around you as you shut the window. You pulled the curtains closed so someone couldn’t sneak a picture of Dave in the suit without his mask on while you two weren’t paying attention.

You turned around to watch Dave pull his mask off and shake out his hair. He swung his backpack around his shoulder, reaching into the side pocket to pull his glasses out. Dave pushed them up his nose and looked over at you, grinning at you. He dropped his backpack next to the edge of your bed. Dave moved across your room, cupping the sides of your face and kissing you gently.

“Missed you,” Dave pulled away from you, wandering around your room.”You know someone threw nachos at me today. I didn’t even-“ Dave stopped when he reached your desk.

“You’re working on a comic?” Dave asked, glancing back at you. You jump-started, remembering what page you were working on.

“No, no, no, no, don’t look at that!” You said, rushing over to your desk. Dave moved faster than you, pulling the page off your desk. He held it up towards the light. You smacked his arm. “Dave. Please, just give it back.” Dave gasped, turning his head towards you.

“You drew porn of us,” Dave whispered, staring at you. You snatched the page out of his hands, hiding it in the folder you kept all your current projects in. You avoided his eyes, feeling like you were going to throw up from embarrassment. It was supposed to stay a secret project that you hid under your bed and pretended it never happened.

“Just shut up, Dave.” You muttered, pretending to organize the papers on your desk so you didn’t have to face Dave.

“Can I see it again?” Dave’s voice was quiet like he was scared of your reaction. You shook your head, trying to ignore your face burning.

“No. You’re just going to get all grossed out and like make fun of me.” You started ‘organizing’ your pens instead. Dave stepped closer to you, gently turning your head to face him. He bumped his nose with yours.

“I’m not going to make fun of you for drawing us having sex. If you seriously think I haven’t watched porn and imagined it as us instead, you’ve lost your mind.” You stared at his eyes. You thought about him sitting at his desk with his pants around his ankles. Then compared that to you sitting at your desk making sure you got every curl on Dave’s head right so you could draw a version of yourself pushing Dave down into your bed. It appears you two are more similar than you first thought.

“Please?” Dave asked, tilting his head down and giving you his best puppy eyes. You groaned, throwing your head back and turning towards your folder. You glanced over at him out of the corner of your eye.

“Do you want all of this issue or just the interesting part?” You asked, staring down at your papers. Dave hummed.

“All of it.” You handed him all of what you had of this volume, in order so he wouldn’t get lost. Dave settled onto the edge of your bed, gently holding onto the papers. He slowly started reading through the pages. You mentally thought through the story, trying to guess where he was at.

James Parker (the knockoff version of Dave to keep his identity safe) and his lovely partner Cardamon (knockoff you) had gone on a date to the movies. Unfortunately neither one of them knew that included in the movie was a rather raunchy scene with characters that they were able to pretend it was James and Cardamon. James and Cardamon had sat in the back of the theater, with nobody around. Unfortunately for James, Cardamon had a wandering hand that slid between James’ thighs. For the last 15 minutes of the movie, Cardamon’s hand was shoved down James’ pants, refusing to let him cum yet still dragging their hand up and down his length. By the time the credits rolled, James was shooing Cardamon out of the theater. Then after a few pages, Cardamon was pushing James down onto the mattress and swinging their leg over his lap.

Dave readjusted his hips. You stared at him as he set the pages back in their rightful order. He stuck them out to you. You gently took the pages from him, setting them back on your desk.

“So how freaked out are you on a scale of one to ten?” You asked quietly. You stared at the carpet, twisting your chair back and forth. Dave sighed, bucking his hips up again to readjust his sitting position.

“15/10 horny as of right now. Like a -4/10 freaked out.” Dave said. You glanced down at his lap, feeling a small sense of pride at the bulge peaking through the green of his suit. You shrugged.

“I wasn’t planning on publishing that one, I was just going to keep that on my bookshelf.” You said, flinging your pencil at your desk. Dave sighed.

“You know, like we could-“ Dave started.

“Oh my god please, can we?” You asked, turning in your chair to fully face him. Dave looked up from his hands in his lap. His cheeks were flushed and the tips of his ears were red. He nodded.

“You know, actually my math teacher sent me to the counselor’s office because I keep showing up to school battered and while I was down there I snagged some condoms from the bowl while they weren’t looking,” Dave said, digging into his bag. He pulled his hand out of his bag, flashing the shiny and square package at you. You grinned, leaping up from your desk chair to climb over Dave’s lap. You pressed your lips against his, partially aggressively. Once again poor Dave’s hands were just hovering next to you. You reached behind your back, grabbed onto Dave’s hands, and pressed them against your ass. You moved your hands back to Dave’s face. Dave squeezed your ass, groaning into your lips.

You were terribly glad no one was home to walk in on you and dear old Kick-Ass in precarious positions. As it turns out all it takes to get Dave Lizewski into your bed was him getting bloodied and left in a ditch and a comic about himself.

[goddessofroyalty]

Hi! I’m a big fan of your Zaun Family fic! I was curious as to what were silco and vander’s first impression upon meeting Jayce? I assume silco saw him as a threat since he made victor promise they’re just professional partners lol. Thank you for your work!

Their first assessment of him is that he's a naive slightly-egotistical idiot. But no more egotistical than anyone else in Piltover. Which honestly probably remains their assessment of him for a lot of time just it becomes he's a useful naive slight-egotistical idiot both because of how Hextech would not exist if it wasn't for Jayce (as well as Viktor) and also just generally how keen Jayce is to help out and the fact he is pretty handy.

Silco does see him as a threat but not because he thinks Jayce would intentionally consciously harm Viktor but rather because

He's can see how Jayce can be manipulated into doing things he would not have done otherwise

Generally he thinks naive idiots are dangerous because they will do things / not do things without realising the consequences of it.

But despite many comments to the contrary (he claims it's because someone needs to keep Jayce's ego from getting to his head but really Jayce is just a too-easy target for him) he is aware that Jayce is necessary for the success of Hextech. So he can stay around but also an eye should be kept on him to make sure he doesn't fuck things up.

One of the ways Silco refers to Jayce is "Viktor's Pet-Piltite" sometimes dropping the -Piltite. And that's partially based on how he's told Viktor that he's responsible for making sure Jayce doesn't do anything too stupid especially when he brings him down to the Undercity with him.

I don't think Silco ever actually made Viktor promise they were just professional partners but rather Viktor so quickly would always emphasis in conversation that they were just professional/buisness partners literally right up until it is revealed they're in a romantic relationship. So Silco's "you assured/promised your relationship was purely professional" is more about Viktor clearly lying about it for an unknown period of time.

Vander's position to Jayce is very similar to Silco's in that he agrees that Jayce's naivety could mean he could still cause problems even without ever intentionally meaning to harm. It's just, unlike Silco, he's willing to give Jayce the benefit of not assuming it is inevitable that he will create a problem. So instead treats Jayce more as how he is right now that is a bit naive, has a bit of an ego, but his heart is in the right place.

[greensagephase]

Miggy and VapoRub

Based on my fic Nonviolent Communication's part 15 lol Miguel decided to pull out the handy dandy VapoRub for you because it works wonders!!!

I'm not too confident with my drawing skills yet but I decided to draw this to celebrate one year since Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse came out, and also because I love thinking of Miguel showing his caring side!

My reference was this super cute fan art by @/chamomiel_ on X ! 🥰