#hands.......... imma rite

[rithion]

nothing but a simple waltz

[lilimalia]

WHAT WE NEVER HAD // zhongli

SYNOPSIS... the lantern rite festival was always the most glorious season of festivity. And yet, the god of geo found no happiness in his heart roaming his nation. If only he had a person to share with him a sprinkle of the festive spirit....

CHARACTERS... zhongli/morax, childe, guizhong, streetward rambler, cloud retainer, traveller/aether, paimon,

DISCLAIMERS... angst, no comfort, female reader, short series, spoilers for Guizhong's story , lunar new year's special !

BARISTA'S INTEL... sorry to all the lumine travellers! please enjoy the first "official post" and a happy lunar new year's to those who celebrate! chúc mừng năm mới <3.

TAG LIST... @sizure , @imma-too-many-fandoms , @yle-xar

CAFE TUNE... Heather // Conan Gray !

“Paimon votes we visit Xiangling!” the giddy floating fairy cheers, bobbing up and down as her blonde-haired companion nodded in agreement.

Turning her head, her eyes landed upon the silhouette of a brunette man, his attention solely focused on the eccentric storyteller in front of him.

“Eh? Zhongli? What a pleasant surprise meeting you here!” the fairy alludes, companion following alongside as she approached the man.

“Come one, come all, allow me to forward you a special tale for this years Lantern Rite, abundant and glorious as always!” The storyteller speaks, hands motioning the pair in as his eyes begin to glow with pride.

“Listen closely now, for this tale is one you won’t ever hear anywhere else! A speciality for my audience” the man grins, winking sidewise at the blonde traveler, motioning him in for a seat alongside the brunette, who merely nods politely before redirecting his attention.

“Listen closely… for our story begins before the age of war…”

Dainty gray eyes laid upon his figure. So divine, so prim and proper, fingers grasped gracefully around a stone cup of tea as he conversed with the two ladies.

Morax he went by, god of mora, Archon of Geo. Cloud Retainer, the women with red rimmed glasses. And Guizhong, the refined goddess of dust, so elegantly did she sit, reflecting the man in front of her. His eyes gazed so… Lovingly. She held his undivided attention, lips curling into a saccharine smile irreplaceable by any.

“Y/n? Who do suppose is correct Goddess of the Forge?” she calls. Her voice so tauntingly pristine as her grey eyes shifted towards yours.

“Hm? Ah, forgive me… It seems I was dazed. Could you restate the question?” you call. Your own voice slightly breaking, pitching off into a unsettled tone.

It was so mocking. How her figure was so respected, so desirably faultless. Both in brain and brawn… Your own stained with battle scars, body tainted with the wounds of the steel, whilst hers was untouched, silk smooth, faultless. All the things you weren’t.

“Ah, no worries! I had simply inquired about your opinion on my design. Our dear Cloud Retainer here seems to think hers is superior…” Her eyes are so beautiful…

It wasn’t fair… How you both shared the same hue of gray for eyes. Yet somehow hers shined so much brighter compared to yours, so bleak and dull like iron ore.

“Hm… This design… It needs some tweaks, but I do believe that Cloud Retainer’s design is superior within this field…” you murmur, eyes gazing upon the blueprints that laid out in front of you.

“Is that so? Morax! You are righteous… Who do you believe withholds the superior model?” Guizhong questions.

Righteous?... Was she… Mocking you? Questioning your values? Your judgment?

“Upon inspection… I do believe that your design is superior Guizhong”, his eyes are so thoughtful, filled with the beautiful waterlike goldens and browns. His eyes narrow, concealing his bright colored eyes like the lakes that adorn themself atop the mountains.

Ah… As you inspect closer… It’s true his judgment is impeccable. And yours, at fault.

Guizhong giggles in glee, shiny gray eyes, the ones that were the exact same shade as your own, reflected so much pure light. Like white iron ore… in every way. She was better.

You watch as he smiles, playing along with her child like joy. His eyes bubbling with happiness, spirit so moved by her own.

He never looks at you that way… Perhaps he never will…

Cloud Retainer stands behind you, concealing her worry for your state as she watches your own hues dim down with envy, discouragement that you failed to fully tuck away.

The day Guizhong was lost. You saw as he retreated away, you saw the scars she left on him. You heard too, the cries he echoed out in the solitude of the mountains.

You watched her soul slowly slip away, body loosening at the lack of character to withhold it. You never knew what it was that plagued you with such sinful cruelty. But… watching her die, perish in front of you, your own body and mind helpless to save her. You could only feel the slightest bit of regret. Regret that you hadn’t saved her.

When you could have.

Instead you watched by the sidelines, watched as he gazed at her so lovingly, mind and body relaxed around her presence, whilst not once, did he ever glance your way.

That night… When the Goddess of Dust had perished, you fled. Fled away to the mortal realm, locked away in an Adepti contraption. War was at brew; you could feel it. You knew of the harm that would come to you when it did, the pain and hopelessness that would plague your mind if ever you were to succumb to the desires of evil divines that would ask for your aid in battle. 

Goddess of the Forge.

That was your name. Sealed away in stone.

“Many blacksmiths and warriors alike pray to the Goddess of the Forge for the finest of ores and the best of the best in the weapons they wield. Many adventures that come from this nation of Geo have commonly shared the goal of searching for where she lays… However, never found she was…” the storyteller murmurs, hand stretching out to flicker his fan as he gazed over it darkly.

“But of course! This is merely a tale! Who knows if this “Goddess of the Forge” really does exist!” He coughs awkwardly, shivering at the intense gaze that was being radiated from the brunette man in front of him.

“Indeed… What a pleasant story sir…” he mumbles, face solemn. Eye's blanking out in a distant sorrow. His mind drifting off into an unknown world.

A women walks by the station of the storyteller, gray eyes empty and uninviting. She glances at the brunette man, stuck in his own land of thought, as she hides away from view.

It’s been decades. And yet his memory haunts your every waking step. A scar on your body that will never heal yet comes back to haunt you with the acknowledgement of its story. Succumbing you into a void.

It’s so selfish. How all those years ago you could have saved her. You were there weren’t you? Just a couple fields away picking glaze lilies for him, it wasn’t her… Goddess of Dust, that you were thinking about. Not even when she had laid unmoving in front of you and all the others. Not even when the guilt recked your insides knowing you were just a few sprints away from her; could have saved her.

It was him, his milky golden eyes, his proper figure, so collected.

It was never you on his mind, always her. Always Goddess of Dust, always the prettier, shiny, ore. And perhaps it was why you had left, fleeing in agony and regret. It hurt how his eyes were only ever on hers, how they shared fleeting touches, when you were his forever best friend. Always by his side to guide him in battles and spars.

She was everything you could only dream to be...

The night you had left… You had fled to the far breeches of Liyue, residing in a self-inflicted encagement, meant to trap away the deadliest of monsters.

Whether or not he had truly cared for you, shed tears for you, you never were there to see it...

SPECIAL BREWS... Goddess of the Forge // I found that the irony in reader being the Goddess of the Forge compared to Dust which is a much lighter title compared nicely to her dynamic, I do hope I was able to highlight this aspect well... (Haha get it, irony, forge?...)

White Iron ore // Using this comparison felt very natural and more in depth, I found it easier to be able to relay the emotions of the story to the reader by using a similarity, after all, it's salt to the wound for those who have felt incompetent to someone before

BARISTA'S INQUIREMENT... none

word count. 1220

Tag list form !

Part I // Next

©-FUTURIST... Please do not plagiarize, themes are edited by me, reblogs allowed, do not repost on any other platform!!

Banner credits: @veauwa

[bat-luun]

(tags via @encryptidarchivist)

YESSSSS i love him very much hes my darling beloved!!! <33

(ramble below cut cuz this got so long oh my god lmao - cw: suicide mention)

The tma oc is actually an au version of 'Pai Rite' (he/she)! He's player character i made while co-DMing a Call of Cthulhu campaign. He's originally from 1982 Chicago and about 28 years old. Her og lore and backstory and what played out in the campaign is rather complicated so imma leave it out. (tho i'd happy to rant about it lol-)

For the tma version: She uses her full name more often than just her nickname/chosen name; Joshua 'Pyrite' Kerr (he/she). She was born in 1978 in LA, moved to England in 1997, and died 2010 at age 32.

She is marked by both The Vast and The Spiral! (in the same way Martin is a mix of The Eye and The Lonely)

Pyrite has a rocky relationship with his parents from the start, his father was killed/taken by The Vast when Pyrite was only 17. His mother was killed by The Spiral, which triggered Pyrites leave to England to study mathematics at the King's Collage in London.

(Idk if it would really work all that well in canon but I've taken The Vast in a less 'real' direction? Like making it less of a place of endless mist or whatever but making it more like a concept?) Pyrite's father was a mathematician and investigating/trying to figure out more of the pi number. The horror of the uncomprehendable powered my the Fear drove him to insanity and eventually suicide, leaving his family suddenly and without a word.

Her mother, turning even more hyper religious than before, turned to pseudoscience as a way to cope with the grief (buying crystals and crafted religious symbols/spells to protect her, and doing other low-key paranoid superstitious stuff).

She eventually got her hands on some colorful (sea)glass shards which she hung by the windows to catch the light and "ward off evil".

The glass is an artifact of The Spiral! It slowly multiplies in numbers in the given location, and starts changing colors/patterns of objects within it's line of sight (though the owner is the only one who can see it's effects).

The longer the artifact is a set location and affecting it's victim, the more intense the distortions get (pottery/dishes "melting" or changing shape, entire rooms becoming mirrored, objects switching places with each other, glass clinking sounds being heard from every room, ...). Eventually it moves from inanimate objects to people in the victims life.

Pyrite's hair got turned a purple/pink as a cause of the artifact. Panicked, Pyrite's mother took a hammer to the glass, breaking it untill there was nothing left but dust. Pyrite found her body later that day as it was being taken away by paramedics. He moved away after that, taking a single glass shard as a keepsake to remember her by, having no idea of it's effects.

He went on to study mathematics in London and found his fathers research notes, going down the same cursed rabbit hole he did.

She did become an avatar for The Spiral later on as the artifact went on to distort any research notes Pyrite made/found beyond recognition, essentially 'winning' and making her a Spiral avatar. Pyrite died in 2010 after Gertrude and Michael stopped the great twisting. Died mad and dazed and out of breath, trying to keep her grip on the only thing that was left of her mother, the destruction of the ritual making her take her own life.

me and my best friend(one of the other co-DMs) did art of Pai Rite and his gay boyfriend Revemine for valentines day!! :D

(also tagging @horrid-mothlegs for if you want more info for when our tma ocs can hang out >:])

[strangeauthor]

You should play My time at Sandrock there’s actual black characters and you can go on dates and hold hands with your girlfriend.

oh yeah! i meant to get that game too i just kept forgetting! imma go get Rite Now

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

tumblr surely gotten glitchy - wuz trynna actually rite sum poetry - thinking bout goin out -search for the moon later - thatz as fukken poetic as it get donchu think - witchy also and thinking murder - and yes some of them are ravens they intermingle more than u might think round here - and various types  - thick sturdy beaks v long thin crooked good for digging - and i beak -less -  not sure how many maybe a couple dozen regular and scattered others - used to b hundreds -  - some eat unseen itsa new regime cuz neighbors and it had gotten outta hand - 30 50 showing up at more or less same time - and so loud omg - it scared ppl - now - reduced to a couple square foot feeding area - and close v having the whole roof next door and throwing handful after handful - feeding more on the street tho they come to me sometimes silently - we make more eye contact and just being - oopsy daisy we digressin - and so tried onna fone but everything wuz weirdy - then again everything  iz getting jenky and so busy overthinking but doing almost nothing it seems - maybe not that bad - lots of kinda routine med tests cuz aging and past behavior - and its been hard to shake watever it wuz - imma better getting back some strength slowly - hope to b up to performing by the 2nd week of july and playing not too badly almost daily - so back to the moon and murder and poemy deep like adele - will know some more re results a week today - nice lady who sticks me w needles aint too worried and that is comfort - spent every day in 5 recently  -talking to call centers all around the world - a musical soon for real - been a little agoraphobic but tbh parts of sf can b a little scary  not jest lately but then again more so - might play wild cards but not stupid chances - well not so much so often and there r degrees  

anyyah we must be going - do something ( ez ) bout dinner - imma think pizza delivered lol - it duz mean a trip up and down 3 flights and while waiting maybe find the moon to watch 

[venusvxen]

On Spider-Man Into The Multiverse As It Relates To LOA Concepts:)

This is more of a philosophical post as opposed to anything with methods… If you don’t believe in LOA… scroll right past thanks

Having just finished the new spider man movie (a few

hours ago) and yall being well aware of my affinity for the multiverse.. a new string of thoughts just popped up that i thought i would share..

first off.. here are my thoughts on the spider man movie and how it relates to the whole philosophy around the law in general not just manifesting..

1. One main takeaway from the 2nd half of the movie is the whole ordeal with feeling like you //have// to struggle and suffer as a rite of passage. Which is like… Insane.. Miguel basically saying that the suffering is one of the main things that connects them even tho there are infinite multiverses with infinite realities and possibilities… it just reminds me of how i feel guilty and a “cheat” at times for knowing the law and choosing to take the “easier” way out as opposed to letting myself go through unnecessary strife… which brings me to my next point…

2. Just like all those different versions of Miles were connected through the little spider web all different versions of You are connected through the web of consciousnesses. You’re not any more of a cheat for choosing an easy life over a hard life because at the end of the day it is still a version of you that exists within you…. you don’t have to **work** to prove to YOURSELF or THE WORLD that you’re deserving of a new SELF CONCEPT… it is quite literally INSIDE you.. has always been.. always will be.. because it is.. a different VERSION.. OF YOUSJSKKD….

I struggle with this sooo much at times … feeling like I need to go through all this pain and suffering for my triumphs to be valid… but who cares… because if we break this down to the most fundamental levels of the law.. None of us are really.. Any of the self concepts that we attach to ourselves… We’re neither rich, nor poor, happy, sad, depressed whatever.. we’re pure consciousness.. shifting in and out of states. A faceless formless being.. How are you essentially going to tell a blob who dresses up as who they want to be that they’re a cheat for not going through these man made human rites of passages when.. well.. they’re not rlly.. human… it’s pure consciousness. the societal rituals and norms that we cling onto rlly do not matter in imagination and that is the main takeaway…… let yourself just experience whatever it is you want…

which brings us to point number

3. the part where miles said “everyone is always telling me how MY story is supposed to go.. imma do my own thing” had to be like my fav part of the story for multiple reasons… i’ll try to break it down so this doesn’t take 30 years…

Earlier on in the day I was having this internal conflict with myself over this discourse I was seeing all over my twitter page. It made me feel uncomfortable but the reason why i felt the discomfort was rlly because a part of me still acknowledged the 3d as like.. real.. to some extent tbh.. bc if i was fully tapped into the 4d then that would’ve been water of my wings bc it literally… just… does not apply to the self in imagination…

anyways all day i was ruminating on the fact that a part of me.. after alllll this introspection.. still still STILL allows the outside world to dictate how MY story.. and MY life should go.. at times i put my fate into the hands of others..

But lately I’ve been thinking.. I know about all these theories of the multiverse I know how the law works… I know everything in the physical world is a delayed mirror reflection.. So like.. Why do i still allow myself to think i have to walk a path like everyone else around me?

There are infinite possibilities available to all of us.. We can pick and choose from all of them and live out a life that’s fulfilling beyond imagination.. Like seriously. Everyone reading this im sure is deep into this shit and is well aware the world is their oyster.. so why exactly do we continue to move as if the editor and publisher of our stories is some outside force and not us…

I’ve acknowledged that.. there is a certain fear that comes with trekking uncharted waters. Think about every successful person you know in your life or in the greater scheme of pop culture.. name a single one who wasn’t wildly disrespected or called crazy during their ascent to superstardom… You probably will come up short because ppl are very uncomfortable with nonconformity… Anything out of the norm is never rlly taken lightly..

All of them gunning for Miles just because he had the NERVE to want something different for himself.. it happens to all of us in the LOA community too.. We know that we can have anything we want.. anytime we want.. simply by thinking from the perspective of already being that person.. but there’s like this shackle of reason that drags us down because we take the laughs and snarky comments from others to mean that we should just give up on our dreams or that we’re too crazy…

BUT AGAIN.. JSKSKDKZ allllll of the ppl who have gone on to impact society in real tangible ways have all had to deal with people trying to write their story for them and dared to rebel.. Like not gwen’s dad about to live now just because miles broke the canon.. and who knows what will happen in the second movie (THAT COULD H E L P ALL THE OTHER SPIDEYS JUST BECAUSE HE HAD THE GUTS TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT)… In more practical terms.. everyone told steve jobs he was out of his mind for even talking about inventing the iPhone… not even 20 years later look how that’s effected Humanity as a whole.. Be sooooo ffr

I guess what I’m trying to get at here is… Don’t take your knowledge of these esoteric concepts lightly and base your path on the ones everyone around you is walking. Not everyone wants to be great chyle🤷🏾‍♀️ But You do. You’re doing the work to change and that could influence others around you in countless ways.. Stop letting people around you write your story even if it seems tempting…

All of your wildest dreams are available to you anyways you wouldn’t possibly be able to conceive of anything you desire if it wasn’t… Anyways

I am going to end this here… because it’s long. I hope any of this made sense bc it’s all over the place but this is also nothing more than my rambles…anyways bye

[gray-morality]

#wolqotd - How does your character view death?

Have they ever had to attend a funeral?

If they were tasked with organising the funeral for someone, what manner of rites would they have performed?

Do they believe in an afterlife?

Ya gettin' all philosophical on my ass now? Imma entertain ya some, 'cause I ain't got anythin' better to do for the time being. How I be viewin' death is linked with how I be viewin' life; it be part of a natural cycle and shouldn't be 'provoked' my our hands for reasons purely ours: greed, politics, revenge, ya name it. Ya die of illness or old age, or a beast ya were huntin' for food got the better of ya, that be part of the cycle. Ya go assassinate some guy 'cause he be an asshole? That be provokin' death and it ain't right. There be other ways to make the lives of assholes very miserable. I ain't scared of death mind ya, 'cause I believe our soul be goin' back to the land to join with the spirits. Though that ain't a way to say I be careless and want to die either. I got my girl and people important to me, maybe a baby on the way, so I want to be there for them. But if death ever comes knockin', I ain't gonna run from it.

[hayle64]

street parkn full but you’ll create a spot for me . imma sucker , imma lose face , imma forget every word i was meant to say i jus didn’t know it yet . comin comin comin my way (he’s lost in what he sees) . there you were n there i was overthinkn if all pretty girls knew they walked that way . was tryn to not drop my keys with my thoughts . it was complicated . eye witness choppers probably found them wit that longer hug off those bird views . adrenaline from your tlc . you n your ways haven’t left me lone . €¥&@a’s gotta gun . don’t force me to fall in love off the contact . eleven:eleven make a wish if u don’t know what to do . wished i could’ve change , never come to my senses , ill be fucked off whatever you do . we wasn’t suppose to kiss , we’ll be the reason they grow up too soon . i mean when we finally stopped n i looked to the side , saw neighborhood kids watchn along the trees . felt they had a crush on you , knew rite then they all hated me too . instead of goin to the car , why’d you grab my hand n took me wrong way . outside your place became inside your place . “we gotta be quiet” , started kissn even more in kitchen . “we gotta be quiet” , than why the fuck were you moanin for . needed one more kiss from the woman on her tippy toes . got more than one kiss , you should’ve stopped me . bit on the side of your neck , a levi’s zipper never stood a chance . sirens calln , was wondering if they knew somethin was finna happen . “ivy . ivy . i missed you” , we probably said less than twenty words to each other so far . been my good friend for a year , now look at you . if only i could’ve shared the point of view . how you watched me like i’ve never seen you do . eyes low , your cute glare warm asf . black denim down to your knees . nothin less of a fantasy . wetter than good dreams , the dark black girth look so wild slowly goin in . brain fucked off first time . the war between lookn up at you and lookn down at you while i started fuckn all inside you . my hair fell in my sight , then you move it out the way and kiss me sayn “you wanna fuck me” (god) . love wasn’t real . but what happened next is what love probably feels like

what is life (i gotta flight soon)

[itgirlgyu]

TXT AND HOW THEY GET HAUNTED !

choi yeonjun !

he actually sorta got a crush

like he saw the woman walking around the lonesome, dark roads with her hair flowing behind her every night he got out of his part time job

man's sure to get curious about the mysterious beauty that entrances him

like yeah he doesnt wanna tap that yet but maybe the curiosity to see how she looks was much greater

so by the third week he's like okay imma approach her

but not be a creep so he takes advice from his friend taehyun

who is equally bitchless but at least he knows about the etiquettes and all the things gentleman are supposed to do

he knows that taehyun knows he saw him reading a book about it

and he also got an older sister

taehyun HAS to know

but taehyun is like, bro u gotta approach her when there's people around you cannot approach alone that's creepy

and yeonjun is like, my man u rite but i only see her at 3 am

and beomgyu pitches his head in, oh that sounds like content, can I come?

so they both kick beomgyu out of the table and huddle up together hatching plans to respectfully hit her up

and they reach the conclusion and go like, excuse me, like yeah that sounds plausible

so yeonjun patiently waits for the night to come, counting the hours to 3 am

and when he's out of work he looks around to get a glimpse of her, sadness already starting to surround the expanse of his chest until saw the similar flowy hair of the woman

she was like a mermaid without the water, her hair moved as if it had a life had its own, bewitching yeonjun more and more as he looked on

until he had followed her to a dead end and the woman finally stopped, turning around to face him for the first time

she was goregous from what he could make out of her face in the moonlight hidden in the canopy of glum clouds

'wow' he muttered, truly fascinated by the alluring woman, she could only let out a slight laughter, cocking her head to the side.

'my my aren't you a dumb kid'

this wasn't the first time he had heard someone say but before she could react he had started to walk closer, the bells in her anklet finally echoing into his head

forcing him to look down and see her feet which were turned

'biTCH WHAT THE FUCK'

yeonjun yelled when the realization dawned upon him

he wanted scream and run away but he knew if he had done that, the witch was gonna catch up to him and probably suck all the life source and semen out of of it

so he turned back quickly and shoved the witch into the wall and held her hair in his hand

'BITCH GET THE FUCK AWAY OT I'LL RIP OUT OF HAIR'

man used his hands to get a nail cutter of his pocket

'DONT TRY ME'

the witch let out a banshee like scream before disappearing out of his grasp

and then he ran to a shaman

boy sprinted

bc he was the only who could afford it

like with installments

the few people started saying story that they saw a blur though their windows that night for few good weeks

the worst outcome out of it was that he might get bad luck for at least a a year in his love life bc of his lil crush on the witch

man's just hurt and dejected

he got himself brushed off the negative energies and changed his shifts tho

now beomgyu is after his ass to get an exclusive interview from him about his experience

and he might be more persistent than the bad luck on his love life

choi soobin !

he is roped in by his not so good friend, beomgyu by joining him in the summoning of the age old spirit of a haunted school

at first he pretended not to hear beomgyu screeching his name from the other side of the road bc he had already blocked his number when he even mentioned the word haunted.

but he knows beomgyu, he's like a sticky gum stuck under your shoe's sole that will not fall off unless you scrub it through a barbed surface

but since he can't do that without catching a felony charge, he ignores

but beomgyu is a force to be reckoned with and he has cash

which he offers soobin and he agrees

as taehyun says, capitalism is the true horror of this world

so he goes there and beomgyu has set up his camera

and he's got his capitalistic smile on like, 'yes beloved viewers we here in your most requested school of all time'

'this is my good friend soobin he shall be my accomplice tonight'

soobin should have sensed that something would have gone wrong by the time beomgyu had linked his name with his one

but money kept his mouth shut

'the only school you wanna visit amirite'

so soobin and beomgyu both sat facing each other in the creepy atmosphere of the darkened class room that looked like it had better days

soobin wasn't really scared

he believes in them ofc but he knows they cannot be awaken by two men doing a shit show in the middle of the ni-

he could swear to his lord that he saw some bench move on its own

he told beomgyu to look and the mf was like brushing it off with his hand

'nah its just some minor ghost trying to stop nothing new nothing new'

soobin is just looking at him like beomgyu grew three head with his eyeballs about to pop

he knew it was a bad idea to tangle yourself with occult

it was even worse to get yourself mixed up with beomgyu

he really should have listened to his mother

'if the big boss spirit is here pls appear'

and the chairs moved again with time scratches on the board

soobin felt his heart on his tongue but beomgyu still continued as if nothing had happened

'YOU DIPSJIT LOOK BEHIND U'

soobin screamed, ofc adorning with much more insults but beomgyu had muted that in the post production

'we never look back during these things bro'

'BRO WE ARE GONNA DIE'

beomgyu only looked at the night vision camera and mouthed, 'rookie'

by the time whatever they had invited had lurked even closure further causing to soobin to flail like a headless chicken, trying his best to get his hands out of beomgyu's one but man's had a death grip on the older one

'if the big boss is here pls enter my friends body I have got my some-'

but before beomgyu could finish

soobin had his hands out and balled in a fist lurching at beomgyus face then he passed out on the floor immediately

the video still went up, hit platinum and got beomgyu the paranormal investigator award and the most popular influencer that year

soobin also got his fame after his clip of him punching beomgyu and passing out went viral

beomgyu even visited soobin in the hospital

and a sequel was shot outside the hospital morgue with soobin in a wheelchair clutching a Bible.

choi beomgyu !

honestly is it even a surprise that man probably was asking for it

was going through a street with bad reputation and his bitch ass went

'guys do u dare me to go inside?'

'oh em gee guys I can't believe you're making me go there'

'haha staph it'

he looks behind and all his friends are like gone

decides to record the show in his phone

comes into the haunted house to show off his balls of steel

"clANK CLANK BITCHES COME HERE pOSESS ME"

laughs maniacally

all the big momma ghosts clutching onto their baby ghosts while he's having his rampage in the middle of the debris of what once used to be an extravagant living room

with his audacity, he should have had his head snapped in a few seconds of him opening his mouth

but thankfully he lasted long enough to bear through all the furnitures shaking violently to expel him from the vicinity

but he only got content for his little video which he was gonna get famous from

his thought process, not mine

the sun had already set, all the ghosts already tired of him running around the house shooting every corner while insulting them and their ancestors

the last trump card was the illusion of a woman hanging in the air with her neck broken and hair covering her face

but instead of running out, he tried to interview the poor woman about the house

ended up chasing her around the stairs to get his answer and only got his goosebumps when the woman disappeared before him

left the house unpossessed with content that got him a YouTube career

goes around haunted houses now traumatising ghosts out of their own abode

and the first house? yeah the ghosts shifted, the momma was like this is not safe for my kid and the shame was far too great for them to reside in that house

kang taehyun !

doesn't believe in shit

the only thing he believes in is capitalism

'it is the real horror of life wake up'

gets salty when his friends fall asleep when he's giving his lil ted talks about the declining humanities

now he actually got dared to go inside to go to a haunted house

it was only bc he started to talk about global warming and his friends wanted him to shut up so they used misdirection

mffer rolls his eyes walking through the door

the silence is loud, clear and judging

its taehyun who is judging ofc

hands crossed looking around unimpressed like yes as if id get possessed

spends a few minutes walking around before he gets bored and walks out unscathed

his friends are like actually surprised bc this haunted house was known to be extremely active but he only rolls his eyes at them, not telling how his shoulder had started to feel heavier after he left the house

the possessions started only 3 days after when he noticed his laundry spilled over the floor

at first he's like did my neighbours cat get in bc he clearly remembers putting them in their place

next time he sees dicks drawn on his statistic homework

porn starting at 3 am on his laptop

man gets up so fast that he breaks his back shutting his laptop down to diffuse the obscene sounds and pray to his lord till morning breaks out

no matter how much it hurts taehyun to admit that ghosts does indeed exist, he had to admit that he is being possessed by a ghost of a pervert

he would get a priest but they are unfortunately very expensive

so that's why he calls his friend huening kai, over and discusses how much taehyun is bitchless and will remain a bitchless for a long time until the ghost gets fed up and leaves him.

does a salt bath, and regularly drinks holy water to expel any negative energy from his life.

huening kai !

it was the spirit who was stuck in his apartment

so when hyuka was heard about the apartment being rented in a dirt cheap rate he was sprinting

at first the agent was like as long as I get money it's fine with me idk about someone's plates being broken at 3 am, I'll blame it on the cat in this floor

but then he saw hyuka's smile and the man's hidden conscious woke up like no he cannot subject this poor, little, summer, sweet child to a haunted apartment

man's clutching the keys while hyuka tries to pry it out of his hands while grinning so much that his lips were about to fall off

'yk i can get you better house, this house is,'

comes in close to whisper since he really isn't allowed to spill all the secrets

'not nice,'

hyuka stares at him blankly, still not pulling away

'is it cheaper than this one?'

agents pulls away and loosens his grip. guilt forever etched on his heart for letting such calamity befall on a precious human being

hyuka settles in pretty quick, the odd behaviour of the agent already out of his head

but then he starts noticing the odd things in his apartment like his bed made when he rolled out for his morning classes

or his dishes already washed

'its quite unfortunate for the youth of this new digital generation for his first guess to be spirits haunting him,'

that's what taehyun tells him when he shares his experience of the past days

'but bro its true,'

taehyun scoffs like, 'bet'

like yes taehyun has had been haunted before but he truly cannot believe all his ghost friend did was help around the house

truth be told he was salty

like his ghosts sexually harassed him meanwhile hyukas one cook him soup in the morning

the injustice of this world even go further than the living realm

truly set a bad taste in taehyuns mouth

but then he visits hyukas apartment and as his prior roommate he KNOWS

THIS MANS CANT TIDY AFTER HIMSELF

so he's like yes I believe u

and then they discuss the pros and cons of living with a ghost

like taehyun pulls out a whole board and hyuka gets the coffee the ghost has made for him

likes yes the ghost is basically his caretaker but he literally doesn't have any privacy but then again he is livinG THE LIFE

but they decide to exorcise the ghost and call for their friend beomgyu

because a shaman is expensive and priests are judgy

they find some self exorcising books online and read through them before selecting one that had the least amount of expensive ingredients

so beomgyu turns up with a packet salt, two incense and a printed talisman

'and I got a lipstick if your ghost buddy wants to leave a message

taehyun is like bro there's pen and paper

and beomgyu sulks and threaten to leave so they make do with the lipstick for the sake of aesthetic '

they start doing as the instruction stated and start to chanting to expel the spirit

now they don't know if the exorcise worked, or its the presence of beomgyu

beomgyu had accumulated quite the reputation for being a spirit repeller

the ghost had left while leaving a message on his mirror

which was the lost of things he had to take care before saying goodbye

beomgyu cried for 30 mins after seeing that calling hyuka a selfish bitch ass for kicking out such nice people

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO Ⓒ itgirlgyu, feedbacks are always appreciated!!!!

[feysandfeels]

Top 5 non-Feysand / Feyre / Rhys moments from the ACOTAR series 😈

Right I can do this it's easy.... but wait.. like can't it include them... like can I say Lucien's friendship with Feyre? or no? Imma go with no.

Top 5 non Feysand moments

Lucien givin Elain his jacket and breaking hybern bonds to run to her // Elain's "I can hear your heart, can you hear mine too". ARE WE NOT DYING OF THIS ANGST? *SCREAMS TO THE VOID*

"Azriel would likely love Mor until he was a whisper of darkness between the stars". Yes this was romantic coded, but I think once we get their platonic friendship going I think this quote will be even more beautiful. You are more than welcome to try to pry this development out of my hands.. but you will fail.. I am a good fighter

When Nesta goes "My mate taught me" FUUUUUUCKKKK YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES.

Lucien fishing in a river. Once again as a fandom this needs to be in our pantheon of best scenes. You can hate and critique sjm all you want but she gave us this.

Nesta: Why is he not staying after we fuck so we can cuddle? //Cassian: why is she not asking me to stay after we fuck? THEY ARE IDIOOOTS. Idiots to lovers truly.

Bonuuuuuus:

VARIAN RUNNING NAKED THROUGH VELARIS WHEN NESTA WALKED IN ON HIM AND AMREN HAVING SEX.

Gwyn Berdara bossing Nesta around the library. Lol Queen behaviour

Emerie saying that Mor is cute... Taste knows taste Emerie.

Mor wearing whatever revealing dress she wants.

Cassian and Azriel sparring. We need more of this. For science.

Vivivane and Mor screaming when they saw each other again.

Thesan being done with Tamlin's pettiness in the meeting.

Mor fighting.

Mor and Cassian's cafe date in ACOSF. He knows something is up with her and HE KNOWS. And she loves him so and is so worried for him.

The Valkyries winning the blood rite BECAUSE THEY DID NOT USE IT AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO KILL THEIR ENEMIES LIKE THE REST OF THE PARTICIPANTS DO WHICH IS WHY THEY AREN’T MANY WINNERS. Honestly people I don't know why the three people who took it seriously and won is the most unbelievable thing ever.

Ask me my “Top 5″ anything

[stocious]

Hey Kaka ! How are you darling? I started a little challenge if you feel like it (:

Headcanon challenge:

1. Besides “Mick” and “Mickey”, what’s Ian nickname for Mickey? From all the nicknames Mickey calls him , what’s Ian’s favorite?

2. What’s the story behind Mickey’s knuckle tattoos? (When / how / by who) When Ian gets a tattoo for Mickey, what is it / on what occasion?

3. Random turn-on for Mickey and a random turn-on for Ian? (Bonus: something that really shouldn’t be a turn on but is)

4. What’s their Instagram @ ? When did they start following each other?

5. If they get a pet, is it a dog (who walks it more often?) or a cat (who cuddles with it more often) ? 

good morning anon xx! i’m doing alright, i hope you have a great day today! i tend to get a little long winded whenever i’m asked things like this so imma put a cut here somewhere for everyone’s sake. 😅

1. i think ian tends to go for more classic nicknames like baby, hubby, sweetie etc. mickey acts like he hates it all the time but he really doesnt. mickey as we know tends to put a more unique flare to his but ian’s favorites out of them all are ’lover’ and ’husband’ (not hubby, husband). it just hits different.

2. i'm really hung up on idea that the knuckle tats being a Milkovich Rite of Passage™. so all the boy milkoviches got em when they were around ~15 to show that they're men now, ya know? i think someone within the family does them so that's kind of why they look like shit, maybe an uncle or a cousin or something. and then it's a big, rowdy milkovich party to celebrate. not like a birthday party, just a fucking party. i really want ian to get something matching to mickey's chest tattoo, so in my head he does. probably something simple like 'mickey' over his heart in a serif font. maybe he'll add some stargazer lilies to it at a later point to make it more unique. i don't think ian would make a big fuzz over it, mickey would of course call him a fucking sap but you can bet your ass he's touching it all the time when they're cuddling in bed.

3. i think one big thing for mickey about ian is how fucking big he is compared to mickey himself. tall, big hands, long fucking limbs, the whole shebang. he likes that ian is able to manhandle him around. one big thing for ian is mickey's bratty attitude in bed. how he's able to make him go from a demanding little asshole to begging and needy, just taking everything he's given. and ian's the only one who can do that to him, turn him into that.

4. i just finished a reread of all of grayola's works and i really like how she kept ian's handles simple, and i think that's what ian would do. so something like @ian_g and maybe finish it off with some random numbers. mickey keeps his simple as well but less obvious. something like @m.mvich, you'd know it's him if you know him but it's not shouting his name out to the world. i think they were both kinda late to the game? i mean the gallaghers barely had working phones and i remember my first smart phone was too shitty to handle instagram so i think ian had an account for a long time but didn't get to use it much. mickey got his more recently after ian told him to get on there so he could see all the cute family pictures the gallaghers would post without ian having to show him himself all the time. now mickey's quite active on there, much to everyone's surprise. 5. mickey wants a dog. he wants a cool fucking bully breed dog and he'd name it bazooka or something like that and he's told ian about this sooo many times. mickey's CONVINCED he's more of a dog person than a cat person, so they need a dog at one point or another. ian gently talks him out of it for the time being, saying a cat is more independent and would fit them better right now, but they can maybe get a dog later, in a few years? mickey acts like he doesn't like the cat they get from a shelter but ian walks in on them sleeping on the couch together a few days later so he knows mickey's full of shit. mickey does get his dog later though. it's the most harmless couch potato of a dog and it's scared shitless of their now senior cat and regularly falls over thin air. mickey loves him to death even though he's not the vicious killing machine that he said he wanted. the cat always favored mickey over ian for some reason even though mickey acted like he didn't like it in the beginning. the dog likes them both equally but ian walks it more often because he goes for runs every day anyway.

[seelestia]

zhongli's just here like "why are my troubles neverending when will i be able to enjoy my retirement life" /j on a more serious note- i'm pretty sure these shenaningans are making his retirement life even more enjoyable. two rambunctious granddaughter-like existences and a loving wife, what more would one want <3

RIGHT. like. it's either sunny and super hot or rainy and still hot. WHY??? fun fact, i have never gone strawberry picking. definitely something i wanna do one day, it sounds so fun!!

meirin's type: people who uses polearms well /j I MEAN polearms are cool. and usually the animation movesets are so.... enchanting? sldkfjlsdf like even thoma's attack animation looks so fluid and good!

yeh fingers crossed🤞🏻 if tatertots or angy child refuses to come home imma cry and ask zhongli to beat them up for me-

I MEAN TRUE yes hubby is ofc way in a higher league for all those aspects.... it's just.... al haitham.... he's so sussy, y know? like. are you an ally? are you an enemy? are you actually a good person? are you a bastard?? there's so much mystery surrounding him and it feels like he's so morally grey and... that's. kinda. attractive? lsjdlfkjskldfjls

alternate title: cutest doggo of all walks with her husband and fellow kins around inazuma city [very cute] [super adorable] [couple goals] oh also this just dawned to me- ayalia strawberry picking with ayato sounds like a very adorable date :D

omg imagine ayato cradling a puppy behind closed doors and playing with them, tickling their belly and chuckling when the little pup sucks on his finger ;w; did you know that puppies smell like milk and they're just so soft and smol and so comforting to hold and has the cutest yawns lsdkjflsjdfkljskldf

LMAO WAIT REALLY hahahah oh poor ayato imma need to go thru his voicelines again, i don't remember that line lol leave it to lia to remember ayato's most obscure voicelines :P /lh

who can blame me right, i found a morsel of good food so obv i gotta gobble the whole meal off obv :D YES. YES GIMME ALL THEM ZHONGLI FANARTS

mond be like "well our crisis was resolved a looooong time ago so what we gon' do? we gon' PARTYYYYYY" and skdjflsdf yeah that event was so bittersweet ;w; razor sweet precious baby... and diluc & kaeya my god JUST HUG IT OUT AND SHAKE YOUR HANDS ON IT LIKE GOOD SIBLINGS WOULD-

ALSO HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BDAY!!!!

I HOPE YOU SAW MY PRESENT ILY MWAH MWAH <3

RIN JIE !! apologies for the late reply, life has been super busy lately but i'm happy that i finally got to respond 😭 and i'd also like to say how i want to tear up after reading this ask, hhhhh. tysm for everything, rin jie <3

he really does deserve his retirement, so maybe i'll tone it down. (/j) but speaking of retirement, i was suddenly reminded of the second lantern rite where you could find zhongli at diff places and talk to him. hoyo was telling us that the man wants a vacation. no need for travel expenses when you can just walk or use the teleport waypoints (/lh)

no, no, instead: hot people happen to use polearms and meirin recognizes it (/j) and yesss, trueeee, polearms are so swift and elegant <3 i also like how their normal attacks have their own sense of style sprinkled into them like thoma's !! vv cool and boyish and just him in general fjeskfke also, zhongli's charged attack is mesmerizing, hehe.

former geo archon vs energetic ginger harbinger who got tricked once vs vengeful puppet with mommy issues. who will win this battle? rex lapis, obv. xiao even brought a lightstick with him (/j)

THE SUSSINESS. i do admit that the mysterious aura around him is attractive like an enigma to be unraveled... thus, this reason of yours is understandable fjrjskkew. i can't wait for the conclusion of the sumeru arc so i can know where alhaitham stands 🤔

i've bestowed the title, "cutest doggo of all" and i've never been more content <3 (/g) and picking strawberries with ayato 😭 i'd tug on his sleeve softly when i see a strawberry i want to pick and he'd hum, "have you set your eyes on that one, dear? go on." i shall now vanish into dust. and i didn't know <//3 puppies !! my kins !! they smell like milk... must resist the urge to cuddle, hhhh. and ayato would be so amused if a puppy just jumps into his arms fjkfkkeks his chuckles <3

this is why mondstadt is one of my fav nations LOLLL venti and his people are chilling 🍵 but trueee, that event got me all emotional about kaeya and diluc like. we even got a voice reveal for kaeya's father and crepus !! and the "yes, that's my boy! i will always be proud of you" when diluc looked at the wine :( i remember how he used to be a cheery child, something that aligns with his pyro vision up until crepus' death and what ensued with kaeya <//3 i want to say "why can't you two just talk it out and shake hands??" to them so bad, but i think both of them are avoiding it <//3 tho, i have a feeling that kaeya wants to address it again and in a better way this time... but diluc doesn't seem ready. or perhaps, he is and kaeya just can't figure it out. that one has always been so hard to read, where has the old diluc gone to? hah... he is not coming back, is he? i'm sorry but the urge to do an analysis on these two, aaaaaa.

AND TY, RIN JIE <3 as you can probably tell, i loved the present you gave me and again, tysm for it !! eeeeee, ilysm, i want you to know how proud i am to have you as my online cousin and a moot 🫶 and now, i give you this zhongli fanart because you deserve one, hehe. MWAH! <3

[chidingchidas-blog]

I absolutely love gwyn with all my heart. Azriel, my feelings for him are complicated. Gwynriel...I will like if it’s handled properly and very carefully. If SJM makes a book about them and throws a sh!t ton of sex in there like she did with nessian Imma be so confused and possibly a bit irritated. Because besides getting RAPED, gwyn is a virgin. She is heavily traumatized, filled with guilt over her sister’s tragic, tragic death, and hasn’t stepped out of an underground library/House of Wind premises for over two years except when forced to basically go play hunger games with a horde of men who attempted to rape her and her two female friends repeatedly. (And I would personally think the blood rite may traumatize her even more—getting ripped out of your bed at night by a horde of men similar to what happened to her at Sangravah...I’m surprised that didn’t also trauamatize nesta, as that happened to her and her sister or emerie who suffered at the hands of men for the majority of her life). A gwynriel book should be solely about healing. I don’t even want to see sex until the end or middle of the book and it better not be no kinky shit because it literally wouldn’t make sense. Like it could happen I suppose, but it’s unlikely and not the most accurate representation of what would happen between two people in those two respective social positions. And if azriel has any respect, he wouldn’t initiate anything but rather let her take the lead.

[berryberryrad]

I posted 652 times in 2021

40 posts created (6%)

612 posts reblogged (94%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 15.3 posts.

I added 101 tags in 2021

#shino aburame - 16 posts

#shino - 15 posts

#naruto - 14 posts

#team 8 - 12 posts

#naruto shippuden - 10 posts

#shino x reader - 8 posts

#fatgum - 7 posts

#shino headcanons - 7 posts

#mha - 6 posts

#my hero academia - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 81 characters

#and i feel bad for like hyping the alphabet up and it's not even gonna be g o o d

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

nsfw alphabet🎇

.

warnings/disclaimers: nsfw and therefore 18+ puh-lease doughnut pull up if you’re a minor, that is super not groovy. several euphemisms for sex. blatant abuse of grammar and punctuation. swearing.

.

word count, 4758

.

nsfw under the cut

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex) ~

Jumping right into the aftermath, we’re gonna set the tone of this entire thing with Shino softly panting in your ear as he comes down from his high. Shino may be Shinobi, but I feel as if after a little personal time with his s/o, he may be a little out of breath. He doesn’t go out of his way to impress (it just comes naturally, if you catch my drift) however Shino does allow himself to let a little looser than usual, so I don’t think post orgasmic sighs of relief are out of pocket. Now he’s been holding your hand the entire time, and I’ll die on that hill. Afterwards he’ll kiss your knuckles and mutter something along a, “Thank you for allowing me this.” Can you tell I’m a hard simp for soft Shino? He truly appreciates you for giving him your full intimate attention. He’ll spend a moment or so pressed into your body before pushing himself up and moving to take a shower. Shino strikes me as the type to shower afterwards every time, and so you’ll just have to bathe in the post sex/shower afterglow when he emerges later.

Then again it may prove more fun to join him instead.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) ~

Shino doesn’t really romanticize appearances; unless of course we’re referring to his insects, in which case they’re all so beautiful. Give him the time of day and he’ll open your eyes to the aesthetic woes of the millipede. No, but truly it just isn’t something that occurs to him.

How he appears outright isn’t a pressing issue to him. Shino’s only preference is that he seems clean, but outside of that I believe the Aburame clan in general values functionality over looks. To be fair, they don’t even really gotta worry, because every Aburame we’ve been presented with to date has been pretty nice on the eyes.

Shino! If he was asked to make a choice concerning himself, I think he’d vote his physique as his favorite feature. His body aids him in being a capable Shinobi, and also acts as the perfect hive to his insects. What more could he ask for?

As for a partner, I’m inclined to repeat myself on the whole, “He doesn’t care,” trope. For the sake of content, however, imma pull through with some non nsfw content. Because when you smile? Oh, Shino will vault over the moon. Especially if he is the cause of it.He loves the curious upturn of your lips when you ask him about his day, or the cheeky grins you offer him without warning. And if you smile against his lips while you’re kissing? He���ll silently implode.

We don’t get to see enough of Shino’s smiling throughout the series, so please do enough for you both.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically…) ~

If I am your first exposure to the bug cum headcanon, then I’m sorry you had to hear it from me but if you’re gonna thirst over Shino Aburame, then this is a rite of passage. Bug cum. What is it, and what can we do to stop it?

Kidding!

Now listen. Prior to the life of a Shino enthusiast, I had never considered the thought of bug cum. It isn’t particularly my favourite kink, but ya know, I could probably get behind a lot of things if Shino was the one asking.

The general consensus is Shino’s cum being laced with his beetles as he reaches his climax. Now I don’t think it’d be an unruly amount, but you could expect enough to make their presence known, wherever they end up. It makes logical sense. I think Shino would be embarrassed about this one and only circumstance concerning his bugs, but it’s short lived. When it comes to his insects, Shino is exceptionally confident. I think he’d be concerned the first time he mentioned it to you, unsure of how you’d react. He’d immediately then ask himself if he was willing to be with someone who couldn’t come to terms with such a key aspect of him. So yeah, you’re either with it, or you’re out.

And even if the aspect of bug cum was null and void, I believe his insects will make a debut during the act no matter what. We’ve seen what happens when Shino loses control over his insects, both illustrated in the bath house scene where he becomes so relaxed, Shino’s beetles begin to wild out with Nick Cannon and terrify Kiba. I’ll also cite that Boruto episode where we see him drink for the first time in the entire timeline. Hilarity once again ensues.

So with all of that being said, I think when Shino orgasms, you’ll have to expect some sort of spectacle being made via: bug.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) ~

Not so much a dirty secret, moreover just a preference, but Shino likes it when you’re on top. Not by choice, but Shino is usually isolated before he’s even given a chance. Maybe it’s solely the bugs, maybe it’s his aura, maybe it’s Maybelline. Now he does have a splendid little network of friends that he manages to accumulate, but I think he craves something a little more than platonic intimacy. Can we fault him for wanting to be taken care of every once and awhile?

So, if he ever seems a bit out of it: get on top. It’s nearly foolproof. Leave open mouthed kisses against his throat and interlock your fingers. Let him feel you as much as you are feeling him.

I don’t believe Shino is necessarily a sub, but he doesn’t mind sitting back and letting you do what you will from time to time; as long as you’re both enjoying the moment.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) ~

Allow me to expose all of my goofy headcanons. Now I am confident that you will serve as his first in nearly all aspects of your relationship. The one thing he, Shino Aburame, is equipped with prior to your first time together are the hours he’s poured over literature. Anything that needs to be known can be learned through the written word, and what better way to accumulate tips on pleasuring a lover is there than exploring key skills and tactics? Makeout tactics, that is.

What I am subtly trying to convey is that Shino has read and owns Icha Icha novels. They are purely scientific and for research. Count your blessings.

See the full post

66 notes • Posted 2021-04-08 05:59:57 GMT

#4

shino aburame is shino abur-onmymind 24/7

66 notes • Posted 2021-03-13 21:21:51 GMT

#3

a little wip🍡

110 notes • Posted 2021-05-05 09:07:12 GMT

#2

many thoughts, head full.

190 notes • Posted 2021-04-29 20:29:00 GMT

#1

MY COWORKER SENT ME HIS AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO CALLED OUT IN MY L I F E—

tiktok credit toooo: @ imhoneylemon🍋

193 notes • Posted 2021-04-16 00:18:47 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[lostinwoods]

A satire of How the Inuyasha world went to shit and Yashahime happened!

Before anyone reads any further, there are certain warnings.

Warnings: Mentions of the rainbow pearl being a secret porn stash with nefarious powers. Pedomaru is an imposter.

Trigger: Depicts trauma of an underage Rin. 

A poorly made imagine by an enraged fan, where only Sunrise Pedomaru ( read imposter) is a piece of shit but the rest are moral characters.

Note: Do not be like Pedomaru. Be moral, do not follow porn logic! I honestly did not want to but I realised there is no other sane way to somewhat absolve Sesshoumaru-sama and simultaneously keep it trashacanon. So, blame the plot!

-----How the conversations might have happened back then-----

Kirinmaru- Hey, you Naraku! I gave you life even after having severe case of racism... You have an important mission to complete.

Naraku- Kukuku.... I am the great Naraku-sama. Who do you think you are to make me your underling?

Kirinmaru- The dude who sent the demons materializing in your body. I am the one who turned you half!

Naraku- Fuck you! I am not your slave.

Kirinmaru- *grits teeth* Okay, fine, you youngsters don't know how to work without taking bribes. I would give you the chance to regain the Shikon and would allow your one wish upon it!

Naraku- *Smirks* All according to plan!

Naraku- So, what would you have me do?

Kirinmaru- Do anything, I mean anything but keep away that demon named Sesshoumaru from his home.

Naraku- Why?

Kirinmaru- *Inhales slowly* That guy's got a collection of pedophilia porn stash there, hidden in two rainbow pearls. He is not....and I repeat not to be allowed near his house and most importantly that porn stash.

Naraku- Why?

Zero- Because the Shikon has told me that there would be a union which would be a catastroph in making.

Naraku- So?

Zero- You dimwit, there would be Kids' as a result of his pedophilic relation with his human ward. Even we demons do not support such notions!

Naraku- Wow, never thought a guy could be more twisted than me.

Kirinmaru and Zero- No kidding! Just know that the union should not happen!

-------- 8 years later after Naraku's death-------

What no one will ever know is that the real Sesshoumaru was being kept captive in an underground dungeon and his twin brother, Pedomaru (a sick twisted pedophilic fuck) was postering as him and taking his place after Naraku’s end. He took the rainbow pearls the original Sesshoumaru was keeping away from him.

Zero- Bro, bro... Wake up! Sesshoumaru (she doesn't know he is an imposter) defeated Naraku and now he is spending time watching his porn stash and preparing gifts for his human ward.

Kirinmaru- *Slurs, half asleep* Ya? Go and burn 'em down and keep that kid away from him.

Zero- Yes bro, Imma on my way!

Zero- *Sends Root-head to cause havoc and distract Sesshoumaru. Meanwhile, she flies to his sky castle and steals the rsinbow pearls*.

-----Another 2 years later------

Zero- Bro, wake up! Terrible news, Sesshoumaru's gonna be a dad!

Kirinmaru- *Sits up straight and wears his horse mask to hide the disgust on his handsome face* Keep the kids away from the pearls at all cost!

Zero- Okay, on my way.

------10 mins later-----

Zero- I should have never allowed you near that porn stash. I am a terrible failure of an aunt!

Pedomaru- Zero!

Zero- Oh, you remember my name.

Pedomaru- How could I not. You have no clue what you did. I was on my last episode of 'Boku no Pico' and you took them down. I did not even get to know whether they....

Zero- *Eyes almost falling out of its sockets* Not only Loli but Shota as well??? You are the scum of this century!

Pedomaru- *Smirks* And that got me kids.

Zero- *Smirks* And the rainbow pearls with me!

-----Meanwhile on the other side----

Riku: Kagome-sama? You are the leg. Shikon priestess correct?

Kagome: Yes, I am!

Riku: I am Riku and I am a pirate.

Kagome: Yeah and I am the destroyer of Naraku and also an awesome time traveler. But such things are rocket science to you, Mr. unreliable narrator.

Riku: So, there's gonna be a comet and it's gonna bring calamity. Thus it should be destroyed by the inu brothers.

Kagome: Sure...... Because comets can also do other things...you know things other than setting the ground on fire or creating a hole on the ground... you know, like bringing literal darkness.

Kagome: Oh and Mr. Unreliable narrator, have you heard that my bro-in-law is a major creep who actually had sex with his daughter figure. I am sure the comet can do nothing more terrible.

------10 mins. Later. In a hut----

Inhabitants collectively: God, we should have seen this coming.

Kagome: Yeah, why didn't I take that tongue twister seriously?

Sango: Man, you telling me I have to see this shit happening to a girl the same age I was when I started slaying demons? I had hoped nothing worse could happen to a girl my age, think I jinxed it!

Kaede: Poor Rin!

Rin: *After birthing for several hours* Huh, only if I was an adult, I could have actually given birth without going through two miscarriages in the last two years.

Kagome and Sango: Sorry Rin, we should have never allowed you to go and stay at his palace for those two years. Back then we thought that he was your caring father figure. But, that bastard actually showed you such crap porn and coerced your consent! Rin, you should have reached out to us faster, at the time when he had started those things!

Rin: *With silent tears in her eyes* Yes, back then I did not understand anything. But I started understanding after my second miscarriage. Thus I sent Inuyasha-Sama that SOS. I am only thankful that he barged as my saviour at the right time! The least I could have asked for at this point is healthy kids. They look so beautiful. Finally I can hold them in my....

Pedomaru: *Saunters in and picks up the kids* They need to pass the rite of courage and cowardice.

Rin and the rest: Fuck you too asshole! You dare take them away with a shit like pass some rite. Keep your disgusting hand off them. Get outta here! Right this moment!

Jaken: *Tearfully* I will take care of the rest!

Rin: *Wails mournfully* I lost them again. The one time I could see them with my eyes, that nymphomaniac takes 'em away. Should have listened to Master Ungai back then!

-----In a forest----

Pedomaru: *Places the bundles of the kids on the ground and whips out the rainbow pearls holding his secret porn stash. Then he inserts said jewels in the eyes of each girl*

Jaken: *Erects a barrier that could easily be seen through by Zero* 

Zero: I order you to burn that place down. I am sure he's got some of his stash hiding in that tree. Get the kids away but do not forget to remove 'em, the main stash's in the kids' eyes.

------In a certain Shrine----

Kagome: *Kisses her daughter's forehead and hands her a beni* We had always decided that if we ever had a daughter, we would give her this beni. Keep this with you Moroha, it is an anti-pedo lipstick. It will keep you safe from your piece of a shit uncle.

Inuyasha: *Unsheaths Tessaiga* Kagome, the Pedo and his boytoy's here!

Pedomaru: *Zooms past Kirinmaru and digs into Inuyasha's eye and fishes out a black pearl* Finally found the secret porn stash of Dad. I had always wanted to get to this. Finally! *Seals off InuKag in the pearl and turns towards Kirinmaru* I hope this is fine. Let them watch some porn and educate themselves!

Kirinmaru: * Resets his mask lest it slips off and shows his disgusted face* Well, I guess it's fine for now!

Kirinmaru continues to side eye Pedomaru all the while ploting how to get rid of those porn stashes.

He returns to his abode and speedily creates some underlings.

Kirinmaru to underlings: I order you all to collect the rainbow pearls that are scattered around the continent. Remember, do not look inside them and never use them. They are weapons of great caliber.

Underling 1: *In a nasaly voice* Kirinmaru-sama what is in those pearls.

Kirinmaru: Listen carefully because I would say it once. Those pearls are secret porn stashes of dubious content. They should be removed at all cost. Find them and bring them to me. Oh, and never allow Riku to get a hold of them. That boy has already lost his articulate power of narration after he began that black market piracy of the rainbow-pearl porn stash.

The underlings all shouted in sync: Yes, understood Kirinmaru-sama!

And thus began Yashahime: A tale of twins who embark on a journey to save the world from the rainbow pearls and their wrath!

We sincerely hope they could choose their boat carefully! And the real Sesshoumaru is brought to justice. RIP Pedomaru, the imposter!

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

as suggested by

 1) we get to that inna minnut , Ealing down by the muffle...

2) part of an actual text - today even 

3) so a free line and i will digress back to the title referring to a not prompt by @cruxymox 

4) knock knock - who dat ? a joke not a riddle  -for a clue electrical 

5) ( ur right i may never be - deleted  -)  at least imma free or duz i mean at last - do lines escape from cages 

6) there r 2 correct answers 

7) and now it gets difficult  like hard or duz i mean ez like chivalry ( u dont still use that do u ) 

8) will myriad do 

9) on the other one hand zen empty set game match 

10) you so fukken special  imma 

11) a continuation in case we forgot the alliteration or - the answer is banana the 1st time but after numerous multitudes even it changes to orange  only a poem without any feelings - no i dont think so but then i mostly rite about my cat