#half joking. im just gonna vibe now.

[ssoupcup]

eyestrain + green blood

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wait.

[amoristt]

closer

「 ✦ thanos / reader / nam-gyu ✦ 」 tags: smut MDNI // afab! reader, DP, mild drxg use, like super mild, no plot lol, light coercion but reader is into it

a/n: when is it my turn im barkingggg i want them so bad theyre gonna have to burn me off w a lighter the way im biting word count: 9.5

・❥・Never in your life had you felt so grateful for something as simple as lukewarm water. Fuck, any water at all that wasn’t ice cold felt like a luxury- your palms collecting the clear liquid before tossing it up to your face. The splashes only offer so much, it’s awkward to bend over the sink to wash yourself, but it’s better than nothing given there don’t seem to be any readily available showers. 

Paper towels make shitty loofahs. The hand soap isn’t exactly your favorite fragrance ever. Your tracksuit and t-shirt are slung over a stalls door, and you’re craning your entire spine forward just to wash your upper half. The last game had been so strenuous- you were sure you absolutely reeked. 

Man, you miss your shower. If you make it home, you’re going to spend most of the rest of your life under as hot of water as you could get, you think. The ultimate pick-me-up.

Speaking of pick-me-up���s, you wonder if Thanos's would be a kind enough soul to let you bum off some more of this muscle relaxants. You had no idea what the things were, but holy shit, did it knock you off your ass the last time. It was like being made entirely of lead. Every time you shifted positions, you fell into an even comfier spot, the thin mattresses offered to you suddenly about as comfortable as a kings. 

You could use some good sleep right about now. Sore, exhausted, and more high-strung than you cared to admit. Thanos and Nam-gyu were always entertaining enough to take some of the edge off. Even when your lives were on the line, they made it hard to take anything too serious at all at all. Or maybe that was the drugs- either way, you were appreciative of their company. Who better to hang around with than friends, right? Long before the games, before you all became a trio of sorts, you’d met them both a handful of times, only when your friend groups would clash because a few people knew a few people who knew a few people. 

Thanos was always the center of attention, but he was never outright unkind to you. Notably, he was always particularly focused on you when you were in a giggly mood. You would laugh at all his jokes, even the shitty ones, with a drink in hand. He ate it up- worked overtime to keep you around- you made him feel like he was the funniest man alive. 

Nam-gyu worked at the club you both frequented at and he came to be as equally as interested in your friend. He hung around your table, they chatted endlessly on about some online currency thing most times, and you’d zone out all too easily. Other times, your favorite times, Nam-gyu would sneak you all into a private lounge and share some of his spoils he’d come across. They took drugs like water, you always chose the bottle, instead. 

Friday’s would blur into sunday evenings before you could even really get a grapple on what was going on. You’d wake up in hotel rooms with them both strewn about, sleeping in all sorts of positions. It was fun. It was really fun, in a wreckless, manic type of way. You never understood why they kept you around, but you didn’t question it, either. Why question when you could just enjoy. Why question when you could just enjoy?

When you’d found them among the crowd on day one, it was like the planets had realigned. Actually, you hadn’t even been the first to notice. You just heard your name shouted over the crowd and suddenly someone was slamming into you hard enough to knock the air from your lungs. A blur of purple hair and green tracksuits. 

You aren’t sure you’d have made it as far as you had if not for your buddies. You try not to think about it too much- you’d hate to ruin your own vibe as lives come to end all around you. It was the first time you’d ever taken something from Thanos- a muscle relaxant that really took the anxieties away. 

Dipping your head into the sink and rinsing your face once more, you don’t bother looking up when you hear the door push open and then click shut. You’re too focused on how the water is warm enough, and you don’t stink to the high heavens any longer. 

A man’s voice cuts through the silence, echoes off the tile walls. 

“Woah.” 

You rip your head from the sink so fast it almost nails the faucet on your way up, alarm flashing through you, arms coming to cover your chest only clad in your bra. When you manage to process the not only one, but two men standing before you, you feel anger bubbling in your chest. 

Low and behold, speak of the devils. 

“What the fuck!” You hiss, tightening your arms around your chest. 

Thanos’s hands are tucked into his pockets casually, and he looks around the bathroom with his brows raised, like he wasn’t sure what to expect out of the women's bathroom. Nam-gyu tails him but passes by after offering you a snarky grin. In your relief that you knew the two souls invading your space, you almost forgot the fact that you were naked from the waist up. 

“You seriously scared the hell out of me.”

“Sorry,” Thanos hummed, putting his hands up to his chest mockingly. He moves like he’s light on air, but his eyes never leave you. 

You turn on your heel and grab your shirt from its spot over the stall door, throwing it on quickly. In the mirror, you don’t miss the way Thanos’s eyes drink you in, but you do miss the way Nam-gyu is almost seeming to scout the girls room, checking under the doors and pushing stalls open. 

“What are you guys doing in here? Aren’t you worried about getting in trouble.”

Thanos scoffs. “Trouble. It was crazy boring out there.”

Nam-gyu sighs dramatically, snaking up beside the taller male. “And you’ve been in here forever. We thought maybe something happened to our buddy.”

You actually laugh at that. He’s said that before- and this isn’t the first time your friends have barged into the women's bathroom in search of you. Usually at clubs, they’d be pushed and shoved out by other women, but right now there’s no one to chastise them for being irritants. 

“My heroes. I’m definitely doing fine. Buuut…” You trail off in a hum, eyeing your purple haired friend. He raises a brow again. “You got more of what you had me take? Not the crazy shit, obviously, whatever the white one was from the other night.”

“Why? You stressed?” He rocks back and forth on his heels, shoving his hands into his pockets. You can’t help but stare at him, incredulous. 

“Yeah, I’m stressed. All this game shit is starting to get under my skin.”

“Yo, you’re not voting no are you?” Gam-gyu is already touching you. So clingy, all the time, thin fingers petting and pressing on your shoulders any chance he could get. At any point it seemed like he was tugging on you from somewhere. 

“No, I’m just saying I could use some relief.”

He slips behind you, hands on your shoulders. Your friends are trading looks that you can’t quite place, this unspoken vibe that you’re clearly not tuned into. Something thicker settles between all three of you, as does your confusion. They were up to something- you knew it. You knew them like the back of your hand. 

Thanos is jostling the necklace around to sort through all the colors. Eventually he settles on one and he hands it over. The entire time he’s searching for it, Nam-gyu is still standing along your back, the heat of him palpable. Consistent. He’s always exuded heat like a furnace.

Thanos pulls his necklace from his shirt and pops the cross shaped case open. Plucking out a small white pill, he eyes it before flashing it in your vision. You brighten up at the sight, but he’s quick to take a step back when you reach out. 

“What is it?”

“Hm… I’m just thinking. You know, I give you a couple of these, but what do I get in return?” 

That stops you, your eyes narrowing just enough to notice, subtle suspicion settling over your features. 

“Uh… What do you want, I guess…?”

Thanos eyes glance around the room as he thinks, before they settle on you. They’re different. A bit darker, a flame of mischievousness to those irises. Not a look you’ve never seen before, but certainly not a look you expected to be directed at you of all people. 

“How about… a kiss.”

There you go, laughing again. Now that was certainly a first. When you have your little giggle and straighten back up, you see that Thanos doesn’t find his request even slightly as funny as you do. He’s staring at you with his expression of expectancy, so much so that it makes you raise a brow. 

“For real?”

He jingles his necklace, the pills rattling around audibly. There’s no way he’s serious. But he looks serious. He was a flirt to his very core, you knew that a fact to be true, but ever since you’d left the ‘cutie in his friend group’ category and slipped into the boundaries of being his genuine friend, he hadn’t made any advances. 

Maybe this was some sort of test, because he’s still not budging. If he is serious, well… You can’t exactly say you’d mind a little peck. He was handsome- they both were. With cool, untouchable attitudes to match. Fun, fun, fun, and the rare times they had to look out for you, they were as reliable as concrete. 

If you hadn’t developed such a bond with them- not quite something like siblings, but not of lesser importance either, you’d have been all over the idea. Now you have to put thought into it, tread more carefully than you’d like. 

You decide, though, fuck it. If he’s to be the fisher, then suppose you’ll be the fish that bites.

“Sure. Why not.”

They both trade looks again. Quick, only in a flash, but you catch it. Nam-gyu’s thumbs rub circles into your skin through the thin fabric of your t-shirt and for some reason it makes your breath catch in your chest. There’s a strange energy about them. Something charged, determined. Every move is calculated with some end goal in their minds. 

“Here.” 

A strange pang of disappointment rings through you, though, when Thanos plants the little pill in your palm- you had kinda hoped he’d kiss you, after all. But oh well. You knew he was just clowning around- he always was. You always had turned his meaningless flirts down, maybe he was trying to see what you’d do in the name of drugs, or something like that. You feel prickly heat on your cheeks- embarrassment. 

You wish you had turned him down now, too, kind of feeling like an idiot. 

The pill is just as bitter on your tongue now as it had been the first time, a grimace playing over your lips as the texture bursts into a gritty chalk-like powder dancing over your tastebuds. You had about five minutes before it’d start kicking in. 

“Jesus, that taste is so fucking na-”

You’re cut off by Thanos pressing his lips firmly against your own. It’s sudden, it’s intrusive. His hand is firmly cupping your jaw and the other is resting on the pulse of your neck. It pushes you back against Nam-gyu roughly, and his hands come to grasp at your forearms from behind you, continuing to rub circles into your skin. Your own hands come up instinctively, planting on Thanos’s shoulders. 

There’s heat flooding your cheeks, heat flooding down to your chest and out to your ears. Worsened, a flame so fiery hot it scorches, when Thanos tilts his head to deepen the kiss even further, his hands keeping you flush against him. Nam-gyu’s sliding his hands from your arms down to the curve of your waist, feeling the shape of you through your t-shirt. You shiver, electricity rippling up and down your spine in body shivering shudders. 

When Thanos splits from you, your mind reeling, there’s fingers replacing his grip on your jaw almost immediately, making you face over your shoulder. Another set of lips overtake yours, tongue lapping into your parted lips, pushy and demanding. Thanos’s kiss wasn't especially apprehensive, but it wasn’t like this. Nam-gyu kisses you like he owns you, fervent and sloppy and noisy.

There’s a string of spit bridging you when he pulls away, watches you gape at him, breathless and flushed. You’re stammering, unsure of what to say next. 

“What- what the fuck-”

“You are so beautiful.” Thanos interrupts again you by running a hand through your hair, nails gently scratching along your scalp. It’s not the first time he’s ever said it, but there’s something different now. Passionate. Like he really means it this time, and not some off-handed flirt that was easy to swat away. 

You’re blushing a raging red, your heart pounding in your chest- you don’t know what to do with your hands anymore. He takes them for you in his own, long fingers stroking over your knuckles before he dragged your right hand up to his lips and places kisses along your knuckles. Over the top, up your wrist. Up to your forearm and then only stopping when your t-shirt blocked away your smooth skin. Nam-gyu brushes hair from your neck and buries his face into the cradle of you, breathes you in, his hands still squeezing gently on your hips. 

“What’s going on…?” You chirp, eyes falling half lidded.

“You tell us.” Nam-gyu murmurs against you, hot breath ghosting over your skin, and you shiver in, you realize, pure delight. You feel a weight start to settle in your cheeks, your head starting to feel just a little bit heavier than before to hold up on your neck. 

The drugs are kicking in just in time, your shoulders slumping, a content sigh leaving your lips. Opening yourself up to them, head lolling to the side to give Nam-gyu more of your collar. He takes, greedy, excited, and presses a smile into your jugular. 

This was calculated. This was planned. And fuck, it’s working. 

“I don’t know.” You say. But you do know. And you know you’re clearly enjoying it- already wet between your legs and feeling the roll of anticipation settle in your belly. 

The anxieties start to ebb away, and Thanos is watching your every micro expression with blown pupils. You watch him from under your thick lashes, lips swollen, your breath leaving you in shallow pants. It beckons him, draws him in for another kiss. 

Thanos is the one who finally decides to stop beating around the bush. He breaks your second kiss to touch your face, one hand caressing down your cheeks, the other brushing stray strands of hair away from your eyes. He’s beautiful- he’s always been beautiful. 

“You want more?”

You swallow. “Drugs? Or…”

He traces his thumb over your lower lip. “...Or.”

Yes, you do. Fuck yes. But for some reason you can’t say it outloud- this weird, nagging feeling that surely comes from some insecurities buried among the skeletons in your closet, that this is all some cruel prank. That if you say yes, really give in to them, they’ll leave you high and dry, laughing all the way back to their beds outside. You’d never live it down. It would change everything. 

“...Are you being serious…?” You have to ask, even if you’re so wet it’s uncomfortable, clenching on nothing when strikes of need course through you. 

There is no laughter. Just excited, aroused breathing all around in the silence. Nam-gyu squeezes you once more, fingers pressing into your skin through your clothes that are suddenly much, much too warm to be under. 

“Seriously.” Thanos murmurs, and then he finds your lips again. Kisses exhilaration into you like a drug of its very own. You let him in, lean forward and hum a sweet little sound into his mouth. He pulls back again, and there’s those expectant eyes again. He’s being genuine, they both are, their hands and their eyes and their mouths unable to leave you for even a moment. 

“Let’s have some fun, yeah?” Nam-gyu breathes, and you shiver. His fingers dip below the thin fabric of your t-shirt, barely brushing his calloused fingers over your skin, and it’s enough to light you up with goosebumps and desire. You can feel your heartbeat throughout your entire body now, from your head all the way down to your aching cunt. 

Yeah. Let’s have some fun. 

The moment you nod, it’s the green light they’d been waiting for- hoping for. 

Your shirt is gone in a matter of seconds, Thanos making quick work to pull it over your head and toss it over the wall of the nearest stall. Before you even get the chance to cover yourself, exposed in the bathroom before them all over again, you’re being walked backwards, pushed gently by the front when Thanos kisses you fervently- like he can’t get enough of you. Like everytime he breaks away he’s just waiting for his chance to find your lips again. You’re sore with him, kiss-drunk and willing. The world disappears behind the stall, and all else disappears except for them. 

Nam-gyu backs up to the wall, keeps you in front of him, sandwiched between their bodies. His hand slips under your bra and he kneads your breast with one hand, the other wrapping around your waist, keeping you pinned against his warm, warm body. When his thumb flicks over your nipple, you jump with a sharp gasp. Thanos groans an equally as delighted sound against you, doesn’t let up, doesn’t give you the chance to have second thoughts. 

Gentle pinches and tugs make you whimper, forced to break Thanos’s kiss when you’re overwhelmed with the need for air. You suck in greedy breaths, a sound that raises into a high keen when there’s suddenly pressure flattened right where you needed it between your legs. Thanos’s palm is grinding against your sex through your sweats, your hands clutching against his jacket in need of purchase. 

“I knew you’d sound cute.” Nam-gyu harps, grinning into your hair. 

You wonder when they’d planned this. Initially you had figured it was a fuck it, why not scenario- after all, tomorrow wasn’t guaranteed. But the little comments like that, like this was something they’d thought about before, tells you otherwise. It makes you even hotter. Fuck, if you had known, you would have been on it. Especially if it felt like this. 

Your head tips back, resting against Nam-gyu’s shoulder, and he makes quick work of nipping at your throat. Thanos is all kisses, but you’re finding the other male is mostly teeth, biting and grazing along the sensitive flesh of your neck. Thanos adds just a bit of pressure, just enough to make you moan again, the sound like music to their waiting ears. You’re quickly dissolving into a squirming mess of sultry cries and ember-hot skin. 

Your bra is next up on the chopping block. It’s actually shocking it’s taken this long, Nam-gyu growing impatient with the idea of touching, but not seeing. When it’s pulled away, the cold air meets you, makes you shiver, exposed. Now it’s getting real- you’re entirely bare from the waist up, panting in front of them like a present begging to be unwrapped. 

“So fucking hot,” Thanos coos, feeling you, bouncing between catching your sensitive nipples in his fingers and easing his palm against your sex. You need more- you’re so wet you’re sure he can feel it through your clothes, now, hips rocking, begging for more. He drops to his knees in front of you.

“Woah-” You clam up, tensing, and Nam-gyu lifts his head so he could see what your sudden fuss was about. Thanos freezes, his fingers caught and hooking over your sweats. You swallow hard and squirm. “I mean- You don’t have to do that.”

“You don’t… Want me to?” He’s actually taken aback that you’re stopping him, clearly worried about cold feet coming into the picture. You stammer again.

“Well-, Not like, I don’t want you to, but that’s… I don’t know.”

He leans back on his heels, tilting his head. “So you do want me to.”

You’re under the spotlight, frozen, floundering. They’re exchanging glances from over your shoulder. Fuck- you don’t want this to stop but you’re nervous at the thought of him eating you out. You force out, “I-I just- I’m embarrassed.”

Thanos gapes at you. “Embarrassed?”

You can’t bear to look at him in the eyes anymore, nerves getting the better of you. 

Fuck, you want more drugs. Anything to get away from this random bout of insecurities that seemed to jump you out of the blue. Or maybe it was the sobering reality that was your good, good friend about to be face to face with your cunt. 

Nam-gyu drags his hands along your sides, makes you shiver, before they settle on your breasts again. He grasps you, rolls your sensitive buds between his fingers. He’s trying to break you out of your funk, you know it, and it’s starting to work. Reminding you how good this feels, how they’ve been all over you like drooling hounds to scent from the moment you’d invited them into yourself. 

“Don’t be shy, c’mon.” He whispers in your ear. You’re inclined to listen, even if it takes a few extra beats of silence. 

“Okay.”

Thanos’s eyes light up. He leans forward. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

He’s quick to drag your pants down, takes great care to bring your underwear with them, into a pool around your ankles before tugging them away all together. When you lift your left leg to step out, he catches you by the thigh and hikes it over his shoulder, your other leg supporting your weight. You’re spread open and he’s eyeing your sex like a wolf eyes a cornered rabbit. Hungry, primal. He doesn't let you develop those worries this time, wastes no time before butting his tongue up against your slit and licking a broad, deep stripe. 

A high, blissful sound escapes your lips. Something like a mewl, but from somewhere deep in your chest. It’s lewd, it’s downright pornographic, and it’s making Nam-gyu groan into your neck while Thanos’s eyes slip shut. Every lick makes you jump, every prod of his tongue against your lonely clit a cause for squirming. If Nam-gyu’s arm wasn’t wrapped around your waist, crushing you against him, you would have crumbled into a heaping mess. 

“God, you’re such a fucking babe.” He murmurs in your ear, a taunt to his tone. “You’ve wanted this bad, huh?”

You did want it. You wanted it so bad that you’re already dripping with your own slick, Thanos devours you like the finest of fruit. He’s ravenous, hungry, sucking on your clit and spreading you open with his fingers until all you can do is wheeze out sharp cries. You can’t do anything to slow him down, urge him deeper, stuck in place and expected to do nothing else but let them have you. 

“Look at that,” Nam-gyu’s voice again in your ear, you can hear his grin. “You're soaking his face already.”

It’s too much. You can’t lock eyes with him- you can barely even stand the sight of him buried between your legs on its own, let alone locking eyes when he's making all these obscene, salacious sounds, drunk on your slick. But then the male behind you grabs your chin and he makes you look and he whispers dirty, downright bawdy things in your ear that make you shake in his unrelenting grip.

When Thanos’s eyes flick up to find yours, you whine and bury your hand in his hair. He moans against you, letting his eyes fall shut again, reveling in the way you tugged and clawed. You’re covered by them, covered by hands and kisses, losing any and all sense of prudence. These wanton, needy sounds are slipping past your lips and you can’t seem to stop them. It’s all so good, pleasure from every angle. 

Your orgasm is quiet, but it rocks you to your very core. This rippling, climbing tantamount of pleasure that bursts into fiery roars of euphoria fluttering under your skin. Head tossed back against Nam-gyu’s shoulder, scrabbling for purchase on his arm around your waist, you cum and cum and cum until it feels like you’re never going to find your way back down. 

If you’d been soaked before, you were downright drenched now, and Thanos couldn’t have been happier. He’s greedy, clutches your twitching hips so you can’t jump away from his mouth when he drinks you in until you’re writhing to get away from it. When he finally pulls away, he laps another wet kiss onto your clit for good measure, and then another for the road. And then one more, one more just for good luck. 

“Holy shit,” Nam-gyu chuckles against your hair. “Fuck, that was so hot.”

Thanos kisses up from your thighs to your abdomen, up to your breasts, where he finds his mouth busy once more latching onto a nipple and earning another bout of whimpers. You lurch back, wiggly and restless, but you can’t go anywhere else. You’re trapped, cornered. It’s perfect.

You’re suddenly hoisted into the air, hands gripping into your thighs and ass. Your back presses weight against Nam-gyu’s front, and instinctively, you wrap your legs around Thanos’s waist for support. They’ve got you sandwiched in between their bodies even more now, your weight entirely supported by their grasps, the soft fabric of their tracksuits brushing against you with every shift. Occasionally, there’s a sharp chill of cold along your back, the zipper brushing against your heated skin. 

There’s a quiet, rustling of fabric that reaches your ears over the incessant pounding of your heart rate, and when you look, you feel your stomach roll. Thanos is shimmying his pants down to his mid thighs, and you watch with eager eyes as his cock springs free from its confines. His tip is red and angry with need, precum glistening under the overhead light. It makes you clench of nothing, suddenly realizing how empty you feel, how he could fill you up so perfectly. 

When he settles between your legs again, he tests the waters, drags his tip along your slit, knocking it against your clit. You jerk your hips against him, trying to urge him in without outright telling him. He’s a good listener- doesn't make you wait and agonize, doesn't even make you beg for it. Just lines his shaft up with your entrance and lets out a shaky, eager breath. He doesn’t wait for an okay. He doesn’t need one. Not when you’re driving your heel into his lower back and biting at your lip in anticipation. 

You’re so drenched that he’s inside of you all the way to the hilt in one move. You go from uncomfortably empty to suddenly bracing the impalement, your walls fluttering and sucking him in, drawing these deep guttural groans from both of your throats. His hands are squeezing your ass, nails barely catching the skin. He certainly feels thicker than he looks, snug inside of your gummy walls. 

“Damn,” English meets your ears, low and sultry as you wrap your arms around his neck. “So fucking wet.”

“Take her.” Nam-gyu says, and before you know it, your weight has shifted onto Thanos almost entirely. The arm wrapped tightly around your abdomen slithers away, and then you feel it. The unmistakable, undeniable feeling of Nam-gyu’s erection pressing flush to your occupied slit. He’s so hard it must hurt, breathing heavy against your neck, a fever growing within him. And he’s bigger- you can tell, thicker. Thanos’s cock twitched inside of you, reminds you that you already feel full. You still, the sudden dawning realization that they’re both going to take you temporarily yanking you from your haze of euphoria. 

“You gonna be able to take it?” Thanos can sense the change in you. He always does, his eyes seem to never leave you. 

You can’t bring yourself to answer, because quite honestly, you don’t know. You don’t know if you could house both of their swollen cocks within the confines of your cunt. You’re trying to even your breathing, to relax around him, but it’s hard when Nam-gyu knocks his length along your sex once again. He’s trying to wait- but patience has never been one of his virtues. But he does it for you, does it because he wants this more than anything in his entire life. And he wants it done right. 

Thanos rocks himself into you, sets you alight once more, lighting little sparks behind your eyelids. Reminding you, again, that they’re going to take care of you. Chirping, mewling little sounds pass your lips every time he does, spurs them both on, especially Nam-gyu, who butts his cock up against your slit one more time before he presses inside with a hiss. 

It’s an impossibly tight fit. Your chest heaves, your body tenses, your heart is beating so rapidly you’re afraid it may burst any time now. There’s hands all over you, soothing you, toying with you, rubbing circles into your clit and catching your nipples between the pads of their fingers. The first inch of Nam-gyu manages a path inside your pussy. You tense with every fiber of your being, this searing, rippling burn forcing you to toss your head back with a dying yelp on your lips. It hurts- it hurts more than you thought it would, and you knew with certainty you’d be struggling. He won’t fit- he can’t fit, there’s no way the size of you could accommodate them both. But he continues anyway, forces another inch inside of you. 

The stretch is unbelievable. You can’t cope 

There’s hands petting down your hair, lips on your cheek, trying to kiss and lick and sooth you. 

“Quiet, it’s okay.” Your ears are swimming, you can barely hear Thanos’s voice over the crashing waves beating along your eardrums. You whimper a pitiful noise- one that makes him shift your weight onto Nam-gyu’s iron grip. Your eyes are screwed shut so tight you’re unsure if they'll ever open again. Something pokes against your lips- fingers, you realize, slipping inside your warm mouth and dragging along your tongue. You’re so lost, swirling, you just let them explore you.

“You’re so pretty, baby, let me help you.” He hums, and that reaches you just fine. Another wave of red hot blush creeps over your cheeks as if having both of their cocks jointed in the cavern of your cunt wasn’t enough before. Chest swelling, leaning into his fingers collecting your drool and prying your mouth open for him, like an obedient dog. 

A bitter, sharp taste explodes over your tongue. 

Try as you might to rip your head back, retching, Nam-gyu’s holding you up so Thanos’s other hand has got you by the back of your head and he’s shoving that terrible taste to the very back of your throat until you're gagging it down. His voice is so sweet in your ears, sickly so, faux honey tipped words that reach you in cooing there you go’s. 

“How much-” You gag with the taste of the pill still drifting down into your stomach. “How much was that?”

“Don’t worry about it. I got you.” And his broad hands are back onto your body, supporting and dragging you against him, burying his face in your neck, lapping the smooth skin there. 

You trust him. You trust both of them, even when they give you every reason not to. And so, let them handle it all for you. To take care of you. In return they ravage you, take and pull anything they can get their hands on, stuck somewhere between treating you like the finest of china

 whilst simultaneously brutalizing you at every turn. This precious, pliable, breakable, but oh so usable thing at their very fingertips. 

At the very least, Nam-gyu hasn’t continued trying to bulldoze his swollen cock into you, not yet. He’s giving you the chance to relax, to let him have you. 

This round of drugs takes as quick of effect as the first, and you can feel it starting in your back before all else, this overtaking, tranquilizing sooth that works to pacify your tense muscles. It spreads to your face, your arms, your thighs and your legs, like a flood slowly rising until you’re soggy and heavy in their arms. Your head lolls forward on your shoulders, your brain grows foggier by the second. Their heartbeats are in tandem- or perhaps, it’s just your own, pulsating through every nerve in your being. 

The drugs are helping, you think, or you really are starting to enjoy the way you’re being lanced in two. It’s hard to think at all anymore, all you can really do is feel and pant and try not to cry anymore than you already have. As the seconds tick by, you’re still lucid enough to know a glaring fact- they’re going to gut you with this. But you’re starting to lose the ability to care and you aren’t sure if that’s entirely a good thing or not. 

In that moment, however, it was bliss. Painful and scorching, but all euphoric consuming bliss. 

There isn’t enough space for them between your legs, but they carve it out anyways, shape and mold you around their cocks. Nam-gyu pushes in again, and you wrench around them, gasping out high noises in the back of your throat. He stills- there isn’t enough room like this. Even being so soaked that there’s this audible, obscene wentess to your cunt as he makes his way inside, there’s simply not enough room. Not with Thanos already buried so tightly inside of you, snug and occupying. Your fingers grip anywhere they can get- their arms, their shoulders, desperate for something to cling to in your woes. 

“I don’t think she can-” Nam-gyu groans when you squeeze around them mid sentence, and even with just half of his length sheathed inside of you, it’s fucking tight. He can’t even move, letting his forehead fall onto your shoulder. “M’ not gonna fit.”

Your weight is tossed back to Nam-gyu, your head tipping back, and he kisses your cheek again, breathes hot pants against your trembling skin. Thanos shifts inside of you, just enough to draw out urgent moans from all three of your throats. He’s so snug inside of you that it’s almost seamless, you can’t tell where he begins, where you end. That felt fucking good, whatever he had done. Your walls flutter around them, clenching, sucking them both in despite your qualms. Thanos resettles his grip, the weight redistributed. 

“Just-” His voice is strained, coming out in quick huffs. “Just do it.” Thanos ducks his head to find your eyeline, this pseudo, eager concern on his knit brows and pleading eyes. “You can take it, right?”

All you can do is nod, even though you’re still sure that this will kill you.

Nam-gyu jumps you just a bit, hoists you up just an inch or so higher so he could get a better grip on around your waist while his other arm snakes up your face so he could touch your face. Small tears are biting at your waterlines, you’re weightless and heavy all at once, on fire from the very core of your being, terrorizing you from the inside out. He kisses your cheek again before his palm finds your chin. 

“Don’t scream, don’t scream.” He covers your mouth, stifles all your frantic little noises, in preparation for what came next. 

In one single thrust, he bottoms out inside of you. You do scream- a high wail against his palm that still echoes off the stall walls even muffled. Fire spears you, you’re wrenching around them as if it’s going to help ease the flame. You go nowhere. You can do nothing except cry into his hand and accommodate them. There’s no other choice.

Buried to the very base of his cock, Nam-gyu’s groaning against the back of your head, a hiss dying on his lips every time you squirm and vice around them. Thanos mirrors him, grunting at the friction, the unbelievable feeling of being stuffed into something so warm and so soft. You’re so full- you’re too full, filled to the very brim, wall to wall, crevice to crevice. Stuffed so deeply you can feel them in your fucking throat. 

“It’s okay, you’re alright.” Frantic english meets you but you can barely register it. Nam-gyu’s hand leaves your lips, and the moment cool air meets your lips, you’re choking out sobs somewhere between erotic pleasure in its rawest form and the genuine pain of feeling as though you were being ripped in two. You’re struggling, tensing in all the wrong places. They’re heavy inside of you, both of their intrusive beings splitting you in half. Taking you, ruining you. All the while your walls are putting in the work, clamping down, rolling waves of squeezes that have them struggling to focus. A vice so wet and plush that it truly does seem like you were built for this- built to take them, painfully for not. 

Thanos is trying to keep you at bay, trying to pet down your face and ease those lines in your expression brought on agonizing, brutal pleasure. 

“Fucking- so fucking tight,” Nam-gyu, however, isn’t trying. Not at all. “Holy shit, baby, can’t even breathe-“

Since the very beginning he’s been desperate to have you on his cock, waiting for the moment he could sink into your heat long before you’d let them kiss and lick and bite you, corner you, feel your soft skin underneath all those dreadful clothes. Long before he followed Thanos into the women's room, and long before the games were even a thought at all. And now that he’s finally got you, he’s out of his mind with it. He’s ramrod straight and terribly hard, damn near pulsating inside of you, crushing you against his chest. The hand that was once stifling you is now gripping marks into the flesh of your under thigh- but you’re slipping, just barely. Just enough for him to have to jump his hips to have you properly held in his grip. It rips a cry from you, the burn clawing and tearing from within all over again. 

There’s not enough space. They’re killing you. 

“Take it easy, this is a lot.” Thanos’s brows are knit, he adjusts himself and slips in just a little further. Such a small action but it sends riveting electricity up and down your spine. It’s enough to draw yet another whimper from your sore lips, and he coo’s at you, at least tries to act like he isn’t getting off on your pathetic noises. 

Their lust dark, greedy beasts, drooling and starved with prey backed into a corner fit for the taking. 

“I know, baby, I’m sorry,” Nam-gyu tries to sound like he’s apologetic but it falls flat in comparison. Mostly because you can feel him grinning, feel him tighten his grip. His breath is a quick ghost over the shell of your ear. “Taking it so well, though, fuck.”

“Oh god.” You’re crying again- not entirely out of pain. It’s overwhelming, they're all over you, their voices are swimming around the fishbowl of you skull and they sound so sweet but they’re devouring you whole and tearing you into bits. There’s another nudge inside of you that's making your stomach roll- you still can’t decide if this hurts too bad or it’s so fucking good that it’s almost blinding. The noise that leaves you certainly sounds pleased, however, and Nam-gyu groans in response, an instinctive carnal reply. 

“That’s it, that’s it. Feels good, right?” You can hear his smile in his words, your face is red hot with all the attention, and the tears, and the mind numbing rapture of it all. 

“We’ll take care of you baby, just-” Thanos hisses, struggling to get the words out. “Just say the word.”

You’ve got them teetering on the fine line of wanting and waiting, craving the slick and lushious feel of your walls writhing against their cocks, ready to take you and break you and fuck you. Thanos tries to be patient, or at least act like he’s patient, but you can see how he’s grappling with it. You’re stuck, held fast in the chains of their arms and strong hands, and he knows he could just take you like this and you couldn’t stop him. But he wants to wait, he wants to hear you sing, and he wants to hear you cry and cum for him, and forcing you wasn’t the road to that destination. 

Something urged you to wrap your arms around his neck and drag him down for a kiss he’s all too eager for, clashing teeth and pressing into your mouth so intensely he’s pushing your head back against his friend's shoulder with the force of it. And while you’re distracted, scrambling to keep up with the ferocity of him, Nam-gyu decides to take a gamble. He rocks his hips just enough for you to feel that tight, tight pressure against your cervix where he lays. Pleasure lights up within you like a spark that soars from the very depths of your cunt all the way to the behinds of your eyes, and you constrict around them. 

This longing, aching keen leaves you and plants itself against Thanos’s lips, he's quick to grasp your jaw in his fingers and swallow the sound like fine wine. You hadn’t expected it to feel this good already, this glorious thrum of heaven that makes you arch and press into the feeling for more. Your walls are clutching, dragging them in, your brain is choosing to ignore the burn in favor of the racing pleasure vibrating through your core. 

Thanos breaks away from your kiss to lick up your neck, and you finally get the chance to whimper, please.

The beasts close in on their prey, snarling and snapping, catching its little body between their teeth. 

Thanos, with his face buried in your neck and his hands shaking as they clutchy you, draws back just far enough to kiss your stretched slit with the tip of his swollen head before he’s driving himself back inside of you. Fuck, you could scream all over again at the spread, but instead all that escapes you is hoarse cries. Nam-gyu presses his forehead against the back of your hair and breathes you in, readies himself. You don’t even get the full length of a second to prepare before you’re ravaged. 

He moves quick- hard, with the hiss of fuck on his lips. He’s been waiting and waiting and waiting and you’re so soaked around his cock that it’s dripping onto his legs, how could he ever stop himself from gripping you in his mighty claws and fucking you like an animal. He’s drawing himself to the tip and forcing his way back inside at a speed you can’t keep up with, and he’s making all these guttural lewd grunts into your ear that make you even wetter, somehow, even slicker. You’re sucking them in and constricting around their lengths like you’re trying to keep them buried within the confines of your body forever. 

“Oh my god,” Thanos is chirping out mixtures of english and korean, all words lost on you, his eyes slipping shut as he takes his time properly fucking you. He’s slower than Nam-gyu for sure, but the way he rocks his hips against you is making you squirm, toes curling, fingers grabbing hard into his tracksuit for some sort of desperate need of release. His cock is mapping you out, becoming familiar with every ridge and valley of your softness, seeking out the entirety of you and the perfect curve of his dick is hitting spots that have you barking out yips of ecstasy.

Nan-gyu changes his angle and you can’t take it. There isn’t a slow thing about him. He fucks you like he’s been dying for it, like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do, savage and wild, so fervent and profound that it’s making you see stars. He’s a little longer than Thanos- but only just a little, just enough for him to pound away at your cervix while you’re stuck folded and taut in his iron grip, damn near bouncing on his length. Wet squelches and the undeniable slap of skin on skin thicken the humidity between your bodies until it’s hard to breathe between the thickness and the rapid beat of pleasures sweeping through you in pulses. 

You’re crying out broken little sounds that either die in your throat or find their way lost in all the hazy noise and he’s echoing you, telling you dirty, dirty things in your flushed ears, how you’re so fucking tight, how perfect and wet you are for him. 

Someone- you can’t even figure out who anymore, finds your lonely clit under their fingers, rubbing quick and slick circles into the sensitive nub. Your thighs clamp down around Thanos’s waist but he’s too broad to offer any reprieve, your eyes slipping shut, head tossed back. It’s escapable- they’re inescapable, and their uneven tempos are making you see blank- a sheet of veneer white sparks you can feel with every pop. There’s no air left in your lungs, there’s so much pressure between your legs that you fear you may burst. 

There’s a certain moment when you’re right on the edge. This perfect moment when you’re right there and then you’re rolling through it in convulsing waves. All the stars align, the inferno stoking within you suddenly becomes this roaring wildfire swallowing you whole. You’re at that peak, focused on nothing but the endless stream of slurred words and the feeling of being stuffed to the very brim, no singular spot of your leaking pussy left abandoned. 

“You gonna’ cum?” Nam-gyu’s voice barely even registers with you when you first hear it. He’s still got you taking him in pistoning jerks of his hips, bullying himself into your poor, swollen sex. You don’t exactly try to nod, but the way you’re being pounded is making it all too easy to. Just a little more…

It’s not Nam-gyu pressing the pads of his fingers against your clit- no, his free hand is right back to grasping at your face, roughly flattening your hair back out of your face and keeping your expression on full display. Not quite pulling, but ensuring your head doesn’t leave its spot pressed against his shoulder. 

“That’s it, fuck, lemme’ see you cum.” You’re twisting in his grip, drooling and babbling please, please, please, and the fucker is laughing at you between carnal grunts. He’s hissing and groaning against your cheek like you’ve made him feral. 

“Come on, baby.” There’s another voice- Thanos’s, it’s reaching through the fog of lust and sultry cries, fishing you out of your own head and lulls you into a messy, heated kiss. You’ve gotten familiar with these lips now, familiar with the taste and the feel of his tongue slipping past your lips until you’re panting breathy cries against his taste buds. His fingers, you’ve realized, speed up their assault on your clit. 

Anything anyone says after that point is lost on you. 

If not for his lips on your own, you’d have outright screamed when you finally tipped over that edge. It’s everything, it’s everywhere. It’s in your eyes and your mouth, it’s in your toes and fingertips, it’s racing in colliding atoms up and down the length of your spine. 

The sheer shove and weight of their cocks pushing and grinding raw friction into you, impossibly deep, their grips holding you in place, you’re in a damn chokehold. Can see nothing, can hear nothing. Can only feel, and feel, and feel that pressure having snapped and unfurled into blooming pleasure that takes root within the very core of your being. 

You’re squeezing them, a torrent of slurry drenching and spilling around their shafts. Pulling, dragging, you’re clamping around them in pendulum pulses. It’s knocking the wind from their lungs, drawing out all the air in a slew of chest rumbling groans and teeth-whistling hisses. You’re delicious on it- blissed out and fucked and still being fucked with reckless abandon.

Nam-gyu bites and licks red into your neck, little specks turned into welts just above where your tracksuit collar reaches, the asshole. But he’s lucky- you’re so spent and raw and limp in their arms that you aren’t even registering it. That’s a problem for later, right now you’re too focused on how they’re both so damn heavy inside you, swollen intrusions that twitch for release everytime they drag along your plushy walls.

“Shit.” Thanos is gripping wounds into your thighs, hips stuttering, fighting his own release. You’re too warm, too perfect and tight around him, he doesn’t want this to end- not yet. Not when he’s got you just where he wants you. His head is falling on his shoulders, chest shaking with his stuttering breaths. “Slow down, slow down. Make it last.”

Nam-gyu listens. Kind of. For good measure he bucks up and slams himself as far as he’ll reach before he finally settles and breathes heavy pants against your collarbone. 

“Slow down, man, fuck.”

“Can't help it, feels so good.” Tongue lapping over your jaw, cruel laughter grazing your skin in huffs. “Look at you. You feel good, baby? Hm?”

You’re still reeling from your orgasm, still riding out the aftershocks. Some strangled whimper-like sound leaves you, he’s laughing at you again, finds everything you do something worth a reaction. He kisses the marks he’s littered on your throat. Shivering and trembling, you’re blitzing on the borderline of over and under stimulation while they’re suspended inside of you. There’s a sense within you, something filthy and needy, that’s so insatiable, unsatisfied until they’ve had their fill with you. Or, perhaps, until you’ve been properly filled with them. 

Thanos presses his forehead against yours. “See? I said we’d take care of you.”

“Feels- I’m-...” You’re breathing so hard it hurts. “I’m so full.”

Nam-gyu groans against your jaw. Your voice has this gravitational pull to him, like he leans on every word, or feels the primal need to meet you at the end of every noise you make. That same primal need also crosses him when you suddenly grind into him, feels the urge to find you halfway and kiss your cervix with the tip of his dick in a sharp buck. It rips a shrill sound from your throat, his tongue tasting the vibrations on your skin. Wet kisses dot your chin before they’re on the corner of your mouth, and then taking over your lips entirely. 

Nimble fingers pinch and knead your clit, sliding through your swollen folds before showering the sensitive nub with attention. Thanos doesn’t wait for any sort of confirmation from you, barely even waits to collect himself before it’s been entirely too long since he’s felt you moving against him. You run your fingers through his hair, feel him sigh against your collarbone, and then he’s dipping down to bite marks into your chest. It’s that same rhythm that drives you insane, nerves buzzing back to life following your earth-shattering orgasm.

Nam-gyu is still by choice for the first time since he’d entered you, something about the way your lips are moving against him keeping him locked in this trance. One of your hands finds it’s way from Thanos’s hair and into Nam-gyus, having to reach over your shoulder to clutch at the back of his black strands. It beckons him, draws him in deeper into the feeling. When he finally does start to move again, it’s different. Different pace, different angle, different sounds, even. Sensual and smooth, a slow drag inch by inch until he’s just buried by the tip, then rocking his hips until he’s pressing hard against your cervix all over again.

You’re trying to be still, trying to not heave out breathless sobs but Thanos is still rubbing you and it’s too much to take- Nam-gyu eats every sound funneled into his lips, tongue tangled with yours, unwilling to let you catch your breath. 

You don’t get even a second of reprieve, their rhythms mismatched but also perfectly timed, never a moment you aren’t full, wrecked with jolting twitches and shaking legs. At this point you’re just along for the ride, nothing but flesh and warmth and slick. A pound of meat  masticated and devoured between them.

Teeth find your left nipple, Thanos’s excited hum meeting your ears when you writhe in response. He speeds up, both his thrusts and his fingers, grunts against your breast and you start to feel it- that deep, deep simmer between your legs. A crescendo up, and up, and up within your belly that mounts alongside  the seconds. You’re so messy and wet that you’re feeling it run along the underside of your thighs, each movement accompanied by slapping skin and trilling moans. 

Up, and up. The pressure building until you’re arching your back and trying to squeal into Nam-gyu’s mouth that you’re right there, you’re gonna-

You seize up around them and wail. It rips through you, spears you like a lance, you aren’t sure how anything in this life could ever feel so good. How anything will ever feel this delicious again. 

Heaven is on earth, and it’s in your shaking hands and leaking pussy and shoved up inside you with their cocks. Surging pleasure washing through you and scrubbing you of everything else except the rut of their hips into yours. 

Nam-gyu cums first, manages to fuck you through you through your own, but no longer than that, growling into your mouth and biting your lips and your biting your jaw when he wrenches himself out of your cunt and paints the underside of your thigh with thick, pearly ropes of his cum. He’s shaking hard, and you’re sure you’re shaking harder, more akin to a leaf in a raging storm than a fellow human being. 

Thanos bites your shoulder. You’re absolutely covered in bites, in drool, in their sweet words lashing into your skin. He’s so close- you can feel him twitching inside of you, his cock pulsating before you feel the spread of his cum coating your walls. It’s thick, it’s red hot, and there’s so much of it that before he even pulls himself out of you it’s already dripping around him and onto the floor. Your head tips back, eyes half lidded, unfocused on the ceiling. 

You’re hollow. You're so empty that it's uncomfortable, carved out and built into their perfect mold. 

“Fucking dick. I pulled out.” Nam-gyu pants, irritated, but not on your behalf. No, irritated because he would have loved to see his own seed seep from your spent pussy and down your trembling thighs. 

When you’re set back down, you forget how to stand. Your knees buckle underneath you in an instant and you plummet, only stopped by Thanos’s arms suddenly hoisting you up from underneath your shoulders. He pulls you to him, your face rubbing drool into the chest of his tracksuit. The ‘O’ patch scratches your face but you can’t be damned to care. You’re too focused on wondering how the hell you’re supposed to walk at all after this- fucked out and completely drunk on sex. Useless and sore and swollen. 

You’re sticky, you’re sweaty, you’re fucking exhausted and barely managing to stay awake now that you’ve settled and the drugs are still in effect. Pretty soon now, when you’re able to stand upright without having someone supporting most of your weight, they’ll have to sneak back out of the room and saunter away to their beds. You’ll have to wash yourself off, again, and figure out how you’re going to get back to your little corner of the dormitory without limping. 

But for now, you just hum out a sound dripping in satisfaction. Your eyes are shutting, all the tensions and the nerves slipping away in the white noise. 

“I have to ask,” You slur. “How long have you guys been planning this.”

Thanos’s chest rumbles with his reply. “You don’t want to know.”

“You should have done it earlier. That was…” You start to laugh. It’s a drained, weary sound, but a laugh nonetheless. “Fuck. That was nice. I’ve wanted that.”

You can practically hear it when Nam-gyu shoots a wide-eyed glare at his friend. 

“I told you!”

[cheolieji]

request: Seventeen's reaction to seeing their SO's boobs for the first time

° don't be shy to request

im doing these by units

|| hhu || vcu || pfu ||

im sorry this took me a while to post i didn't know what to write 😨

i made these literally 5 seconds after i woke up

Jun: last night was boiling hot, so you slept without a top on. Jun shook you gently, trying to wake you, "baby, wake up. i made breakfast. " he pulled your blanket down a little bit when he suddenly realised you were shirtless. flustered, he tried putting the blanket back on you, but you were already awake, "Junnie? — " "Uhhh, yeah- what?" "What's wrong?" "Nothing! why would anything be wrong, haha? " You were a little confused until you remembered you're not wearing anything "Oh sorry haha i was hot last night. " "it's okay. Don't be sorry, uhh, come out after you put some clothes on. " he left the room trying to avoid eye contact ( he would get so flustered and blush like crazy. He's so in love with you )

Soonyoung: you were dancing in the living room while he was watching and giggling from the sofa in front of you. it was normal dancing at first, then the vibe of the song changed. You decided to do some sexy dancing for him, taking your shirt off as a part of the dance move. He would be a little shocked at first, eyes widen and then settling into the mood. "Yeah, baby, come here, let me see you better," moving towards him, you straddle his lap. "Like, what you see, babe?" "fuck yeah, we should do this more often, can i touch you?" ( AND WE'RE DONE )

Minghao: Meditating is something that Minghao usually does, and it's a normal thing around the house (his house), but you're bored, and he's been going at it for a while now, you went into his room to bother him but he has his eyes closed and his legs in a half lotus pose. you made a lot of noise walking into his room, so he definitely noticed your presence, but he's not reacting at all "hao" Silence... "hao" again... "minghaoo," he opened his eyes, giving you a 'what do you want' look. you just smiled before flashing him. He immediately stopped in his track. "Whoaa, you could've just talked, and i would've responded, but i mean, this works too." "sooo? come here tf and stop meditating. I'm bored"

Chan:drinking with Chan after the plan you guys made was ruined from the heavy rain outside. "It was such a good plan too. We would've had so much fun." "i know, baby, we can go another day." "Yeah, ugh chan, I'm done drinking. i think im gonna go take a shower. " "Without me? " he said as a joke. "What?" you said with a confused smile. "Nothing" — "no wait that was funny. Come here, we're dating anyway, " getting up from his seat and walking towards you. you take off your clothes, revealing your stunning figure and well-rounded boobs "oh wow, well, im glad i asked, but i think we need to do something else first before we shower, huh" he says as he picks you up

[turcott3]

never lose you

luca fantilli x estapa sister

warnings?: cursing, pregnancy, fluff and kissing

masterlist

-

“mark, i threw up again this morning.” you groan, holding the cold towel to the back of your neck as you walked into his room.

“come here.” he waves you over pressing his hand to your forehead.

“nope still not warm. somethings up with you, and i think i might know what it is.”

“i don’t want it to be true.” you whine.

“i know, but you’re not alone. go put on some shoes im gonna take you to Walmart. you’re taken care of okay? we can work it out sis. i’ve got you.”

“thank you.” you reply tearfully as he hugged you.

“i’m always here to protect my baby sis. it’s my job.”

“only by a year and a half.”

“well it’s 2 years when you look at the number.” you giggle smacking his arm.

“go get your shoes,” he laughs lightly, sliding his slippers on. he met you out at his car, nonstop picking at your nails.

“moms gonna kill me.”

“no she’s not y/n. you’re 20. sure you’re young but you’re not a teenager. you’re in school and have a good job. everything will work out. and besides you don’t even actually know yet.” he says shaking your shoulder, forcing a small smile out. you and mark had thankfully always been really close and you knew you could trust him with anything.

once you were checked out at the store, mark paid for everything. you almost wanted to cry. your brother was always supportive but he knew this could be the biggest obstacle of your life possibly.

“you didn’t have to pay for all of this stuff.”

“it’s the least i can do. you’re just giving me stressed vibes and i wanna try to help.” he replies.

“farah has made you a softy.” you laugh and he smacks your arm.

“hey that’s a good thing. we love her.”

“the most.” he giggles, driving you safely home.

“moms at work so, i’ll just sit out here while you do your thing and just come out when you’re ready.” mark says sitting on the end of your bed, turning on a tv show so you could be properly isolated.

you sat impatiently on the edge of your tub, waiting for the timer to go off. once it finally rang, you stood up and walked over to the counter, your breath uneven. you picked up the test flipping it over.

just as mark had suspected. positive.

“mark.” you say aloud, your voice growing weak.

“what is it? do you want me to come in there?” he asks, pausing the tv.

“yeah.” you say wiping a tear.

“whats the verdict?” he asks and you simply hand it to him and he sighs.

“how do you feel?” he asks, looking back up at you.

“i don’t know.” you reply, feeling the tears begin to well up in your eyes.

“do you need anything?”

“i just need you bubba, i’m scared.” you say, calling him the nickname that hasn’t left your mouth since his 12th birthday, choking on the tears that threatened to fall.

“hey no no, don’t cry.” he says pulling you into his chest, cradling your head comfortingly.

“what do i do?” you sniffle.

“you need to talk to mom when she comes home. don’t tell luca first. as much as i know you might want to.” he says,’letting you go and taking the test back out of your hands, setting it on the counter.

“okay.” you reply weakly.

“hey, everything’s gonna be okay. i’ve got your back. one hundred percent.” he states, confirming the sense of comfort he was giving you.

“thank you mark.”

“of course. i can’t believe my homie knocked you up.” he giggles and you shove him jokingly. he’d always joked about you and luca dating but he honestly adored the fact that one of his best friends was able to make you the happiest he’s ever seen you.

“too soon man, too soon.” you giggle, hugging your older brother one last time before exiting the bathroom.

it now felt like a waiting game, waiting for your mother to get home. you waited and waited until you finally got the text that she was on her way. going over and over in your head what exactly you should say to her, what questions you’re gonna ask her. it was all happening so quickly.

“hey y/n.” your mom says walking in the door and you say hello back, letting her get settled. the longer she was home the more nervous you grew. after a few short minutes, you called her into the living room.

“what’s up? you seem so serious.” she giggles nervously.

“mom can i please just ask that you won’t be mad at me when i tell you this.” you start, already feeling the tears well up, mark sitting and listening at the bar. supporting from a distance.

“i mean i can’t promise any-“

“please mom.” you beg, wiping the single tear that fell.

“okay okay, what’s wrong?”

“momma i’m pregnant.” you say, your voice cracking slightly before breaking down in tears once again.

“oh honey.” she replies, hugging onto you instantly.

“i’m sorry.” you cry into her shoulder.

“no sweetheart don’t apologize. it’s gonna be okay.” she says softly, letting you go.

“i’m so scared. we didn’t plan for this at all.”

“i know you didn’t, it’s okay we all make mistakes, but hey, at least we know who the father is,” she giggles, “have you told him yet?”

“no mark told me to tell you first.”

“atta boy.” she winks at him as he giggles.

“are you sure you’re not mad?” you ask, sucking up your tears.

“no y/n, im not mad. you’re 20 years old. you’re not 16 anymore. you’re a grown up.” she says rubbing your arm.

“what do i do? i need help.”

“and that’s why i’m here, im your mother. im always going to help you. you’re my only baby girl, you’ll always be taken care of my love.” she says, wiping your final tear.

“thank you momma.” you reply, hugging her once again.

“why don’t you invite luca over tonight, you can tell him. and if he needs a moment, i’m here. we’re all here for you y/n.” mark adds in.

“that’s a great idea. call him.” she replies and you nod, inviting luca over to stay the night which he of course accepted. about an hour later, luca was walking in the door. your heart dropping at the sound of his voice.

“hi baby.” he says sweetly, walking over to kiss you as you sat anxiously laid back on the couch.

“hi.” you reply before he says hello to mark and mom.

“luca, go sit with my sister. it’s important. but i’m staying right here.” he insists, directing luca back to the couch.

“oh um, are you okay?” he asks, the nerves in his voice ticking immediately.

“well, i’m not really sure. how you react to what im about to tell you will determine if im okay.” you giggle, scratching the back of your head.

“whatever it is, i won’t be mad.” he reassures you, concern filling his eyes.

“lu im-“ you pause, breathing out before continuing, “im pregnant.”

“what?” he replies quietly.

“i’m pregnant luca.” you repeat. he says nothing and pulls you in for a hug. he still hasn’t said anything which wasn’t making you feel the best.

“if you need a second i understand, im still processing it too” you say as he pulls away and nods at your words, mark pulling him into the guest room. you shuffled quietly over to the shut door, pressing your ear against it.

“bro why didn’t you say anything?” mark asks.

“i didn’t know how to reply, i don’t want to upset her.”

“what’s that supposed to mean? are you gonna dump her? are you gonna tell her what to do about it? what is it?”

“no of course not, i fucking love her dude, i love that girl like crazy, i would never leave her to do this alone. ever. i was just in shock. i still don’t even know what to say to comfort her. i know she’s probably taking it really hard.”

“well get out there, and use your words dude. she’s crazy about you. and hearing any kind of words of affirmation ate important to her, especially right now.” mark replies as you quickly shuffle back over to the couch, the door opening once you sat down.

“y/n, i’m sorry i didn’t say anything back. i- i was just in shock. i know this is my fault and im fully prepared to take on that responsibility. whatever you choose to do, i’m here to support you. i love you so much baby. you’re not alone, you’ll never be alone.” he spits out, spilling a few tears taking your hands into his.

“thank you.” you reply tearfully as he presses a sweet kiss to your lips.

“always. you’ll never lose me y/n, i swear to god you won’t.” he reassures you as you cuddle yourself to his chest, leaned back on the couch.

“okay.” you reply quietly.

-

you were about 4 months along now. still sick every morning, back pain sinking in. your belly was still a little small but definitely growing.

“no no fuck.” you whine, your favorite jeans now no longer able to zip.

“what’s wrong? i heard you from out there.” luca says burst through the door.

“luca my favorite jeans don’t fit anymore.” you frown, tears threatening to spill.

“hey no no, it’s okay baby. those jeans will hug your beautiful body again in a few months my love. go put on some of my sweatpants and we can go find you some new jeans. is that okay?” he asks stopping your tears.

“okay. thank you.” you reply softly.

“anything for you, you know i’ll always take care of you.” he replies, kissing your head and reaching for his shoes.

luca had moved into your house to be with you during your pregnancy. he couldn’t bare the idea of sleeping in his bed while you slept in yours. he’s been great helping out around the house and making sure you don’t have to go or drive anywhere on your own. making sure you and your baby were safe at all times. you grew more comfortable with him day by day.

you picked out a few pairs of jeans as well as a couple of dresses to try on. just to make sure you were getting something you’d actually wear.

“okay here’s the first pair.” you said before pulling open the curtain revealing the maternity jeans that closely resembled your favorite jeans.

“so?”

“you look beautiful.” luca says, a smile growing widely on his face as he observed your body.

“well we know this size fits so, i’ll show you the dress i picked out.” you giggle, walking back into the dressing room and shutting the curtain, quickly yanking the jeans off and pulling the dress over your head. you adjusted it and looked in the mirror. your bump was showing well in this dress. you turned to the side and frowned. it hit you all at once what was happening, tears welling up in your eyes.

“everything okay in there?” luca asks, standing outside the curtain.

“yeah, can you come in here?” you ask, wiping the tear, turning to face the curtain.

“oh wow.” he says tugging the curtain shut behind you as he looked at you before noting your expression.

“what’s wrong y/n? you look absolutely gorgeous.”

“i know but look.” you frown turning to the side running a hand over your small bump.

“what about it?”

“look at me luca. just look.” you frown a quiet sob leaving your mouth.

“don’t cry baby no.” he says pulling you to his chest.

“it’s just all hitting me so fast. my body is changing so fast.” you sniffle.

“i know i know, but you’re gonna be such a beautiful momma. baby fantilli slash y/l/n has the most beautiful mommy in the world. i know you may not feel the greatest but you’re so gorgeous y/n. you look so fucking perfect.” he says running his hands over your stomach and on your sides only making you cry more.

“shhhhh it’s okay.” he says hugging you tighter, cradling your head in his hand, grazing his thumb softly over your hair.

-

“so.”

“so?” you question mark as he enters your room and plops on your bed.

“i got you something, well it wasn’t all me, it was like ninety percent luca.” he says holding up target bags full of things.

“something? looks like more than that.” you giggle.

“yeah well, luca left early for family dinner so that he could go shopping for you and the baby. he wanted my help so, do you wanna see?”

“i mean i guess i don’t have much choice do i?” you laugh, grateful they’d thought of you while out together.

“okay so,” he starts before showing you everything him and luca had picked out for you and the baby. your heart melted more and more with the thoughtfulness of each object.

“thank you for everything mark.” you reply as he finished, hugging him tightly.

“luca has one more thing, but he’ll give it to you once he’s home.” mark smiles, putting everything back in the bags and setting them on the floor.

“oh? okay.” you reply as he exits your room with a goodbye. it shouldn’t be too much longer that luca would be gone. you hoped at least. you sat in your bed looking through the objects when luca came in the room.

“hi baby,” you smile as he walks over to kiss you sweetly.

“how was dinner with the family?” you continue.

“it was so good. they were asking me about how everything was going and they wanted me to give you this check from them. it’s for a thousand dollars. my brother and parents all chipped in.” he smiles, unfolding the check from his pocket and handing it to you.

“that’s so sweet of them.” you pout looking up at him and hugging on tightly.

“they wanted to make sure you’re taken care of. this money is for you. not the baby. for you.” he repeats and you nod.

“i also have something else for you.” he says quietly.

“go on?” you smile.

“close your eyes.” he says smiling and you do so, smile growing wider. you feel a ring slowly pushed onto your ring finger, you stomach dropping at the sensation.

“open.” he says quietly and you open your eyes to a delicate diamond ring. a simple design and a small diamond.

“luca what-“

“this is not a marriage proposal, you know i would go all out for that. this is just a promise ring.”

“it’s beautiful.” you say looking closer at it.

“i got it because i wanted to show you how truly serious i am about this. im so in love with you, and im in love with our future. you’re everything to me, our baby is everything to me, we are everything to me. and more.” he says, grabbing onto your hand, running a thumb over your knuckles.

“this almost feels like a dream and like it’s gonna be over soon.” you say shedding a tear.

“well it’s not a dream and it’s not too good to be true. i also got the ring so that no creepy guy would try to think you were some young single struggling mom. had to stake my claim properly.” he giggles.

“well thank you for thinking of me luca.”

“always.”

-

“i don’t wanna do any parties or anything.” you tell luca as you sat in the ultrasound room.

“no showers?”

“can we just mail out like an announcement and maybe we’ll get some gifts and stuff.” you ask.

“if that’s what you want, it’s entirely up to you.”

“i’m already stressed enough, that would probably make it worse.” you giggle.

“then we’ll do that.”

“okay my lovebirds, i have the gender right here. do you want me to save it? or do you want it now?” the doctor asks, entering the room.

“now, please.” you smile anxiously.

“i’ll hand it off to you.” she smiles at luca as she hands the paper off to him.

“it’s a……” he pauses scanning the paper before stopping, a smile growing across his cheeks.

“it’s a girl.” he says sweetly.

“really?” you exclaim.

“yes baby, it’s a girl.” he says showing you the paper. quickly you jump up off the bed, wrapping your arms tightly around him.

“luca fantilli, girl dad, has a nice ring to it.” you giggle pulling away.

“y/n fantilli, girl MOM, has a better ring to it in my opinion.” he giggles.

“come here.” you say to the doctor, squeezing her tight, thanking her for this special moment.

“i’m so glad you guys are happy. please come back and see me once she’s born.”

“absolutely we will.” you smile as she guides you back to the waiting room.

-

“god i’m only a few weeks away.” you grown, leaning on your hands over the counter in hopes of relieving the stress on your back.

“hey y/n, we gotta try this.” luca comes sliding around the corner, tossing his phone on the couch.

“try what?” you groan sitting up.

“okay turn your back to me.” he says and you do so.

“ready?” he asks.

“yes?” you question. moments later feeling all of the pressure leave your back.

“oh my god.” you breathe out as he holds your belly up.

“does that feel good?”

“yes fuck yes. i feel like i can breathe properly.” you giggle with borderline orgasmic pleasure lining your tone.

“unfortunately i cannot stand here forever but i will gladly do this whenever you need it.” he says gently lowering your belly.

“thank you baby, that felt amazing.” you say turning around and pressing a sweet kiss to his lips.

-

you laid restlessly in the hospital bed, luca lying awake on his phone in a chair just across the room. your water broke at home but you were nowhere near ready to give birth.

“i can’t sleep.” you groan.

“me either.” he replies, shutting off his phone.

“can you come lay with me?” you ask softly.

“yeah of course.” he says getting up off the chair and instantly finding his way to your side.

“i’m so scared lu.” you whisper.

“i know. it’s scary, but im here. your mom is here. mark will be here.”

“will you hold my hand when the time comes?” you ask, nuzzling yourself to his side as best as you could.

“of course baby. let’s try and get some sleep in you okay?” he says.

“okay.” you reply, shutting your eyes. after what seemed like hours of silence your consciousness dwindled.

“i’m so proud of you.” he whispers pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. those words being the last you heard before you finally drifted off to sleep.

you woke up the next morning with jerk and a sharp pain.

“ouch.” you groan, seeing luca had already been awake and moved to the chair.

“oh gosh, are you contracting?”

“yeah, good morning to me.” you groan, squinting your eyes shut.

“do you want me to get your mom?” he asks and you simply nod, gritting your teeth. he calls your mom on his phone, her entering just moments later.

“how frequent?”

“well this was the first one so i don’t know.” you reply, the pressure subsiding.

“i’ll go grab a doctor and they can check you out. just hold tight honey.” she says, rushing back out the door.

“what if it happens like soon soon?” you ask luca nervously.

“we’ll all be by your side. i can’t sit here and say it’ll be easy because it’s definitely not, but i’ll hold your hand and make sure you’re doing okay. that’s my job.” he says, reassuring that you were not alone in this process.

“okay miss y/n. how are you feeling? i heard you had a contraction.” the nurse says entering the room.

“yeah, that’s what i woke up to.” you sigh.

“what a pleasant wake up call.” she giggles.

the nurse stayed in the room keeping tabs with your dialation. you grew more and more nervous at every update.

-

“come on baby, just one more.” luca says as you held a death grip on his hand, your knuckles turning white. you somehow mustered up the strength to give one last push, resulting in the sound of your precious baby girl crying, resulting in you sobbing instantly.

“you’re baby daddy?” the doctor asked luca and he nods, being beckoned over.

“well boyfriend and baby daddy but yes.” he giggles as a nurse pats him on the back.

“he’s cutting the cord y/n.” your mom says kissing the side of your head, brushing the hair off of your sweaty face. you brushed over the ring on your finger. it was unreal that this was your life now.

all you could do was cry. the wait was finally over.

“hi baby.” you frown sweetly as they handed you your daughter, luca finding his way back to your side immediately.

“she’s beautiful.” you sob out, sniffling.

“just like her momma.” luca replies, kissing your temple a few times, his hand rested on top of yours as you held her. admiring your beautiful creation, the one you were so afraid of those 9 months ago.

“i like lilly.” you say to luca quietly.

“lilly fantilli. i love it.” he smiles.

after some hours, the nurses trickled out and the room became quiet again. you’d been holding her for hours, never wanting to let go. not until it was just you, her and luca.

“hey momma, before you leave can you do something for me?” you smile.

“yes of course sweetie.” she replies as she walks over, whispering in her ear. you handed the baby off to your mom, who carried her over to luca.

“now i know im your mother-in-law so this is gonna sound weird. but i need you to take off your shirt.” she says in her humor that you always adored. you wanted to cry as his face lit up. he slid his shirt off quickly and got comfortable before your mother carefully handed her off to him, resting her softly on his chest.

“oh my god.” he stuttered out, a tear falling down his cheek, followed by a sniffle.

“lu don’t cry honey.” you said softly, carefully getting out of bed finding your way to his side. luckily since you were young, recovery wasn’t so hard.

“i can’t help it, look at what we did. she’s perfect.” he continued, quiet sobs leaving his mouth. in all the time you’d been together, you’d never seen him like this. so vulnerable and sweet.

“awe baby.” you said, lightly scratching his scalp.

“i love you my sweet lilly girl, i’ll never let anyone hurt you and i’ll always be here for you. daddy loves you so much.” he cried quietly to her on his chest, bringing you nearly to tears.

“i can’t believe this is our life now.” you say in his ear pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

“i would never change it, not for anything in the world.” he replies finally looking at you. his eyes puffy with tears.

“i love you luca, so so much.”

“i love you more, zero argument.” he smiles, you roll your eyes playfully pressing a kiss to his lips, closing the last chapter of your youth.

this was your life now. mother of lilly mars (mark wasn’t a good middle name for a girl) fantilli, and obviously future wife of luca. it was the best gift the universe could’ve ever blessed you with.

[megumimania]

SKIN TIGHT - geto suguru

summary: you agreed to a casual relationship with the uni fboy suguru but what happens when he starts to fall in love with you?

warnings: fwb, geto suguru x fem reader, geto x black! reader, suguru gives me such philosophy major and sociology minor vibes, fboy !suguru is a softie at heart

suguru geto is a name that both the male and female student body at your university are painfully familiar with. infamous for his short stints of relationships that often leaves the other party in distress, you successfully managed to avoid him for the first two semesters of university. that was until the day he joined your sociology class.

you remember it as if it was yesterday. that pretty smile he gave you whilst you moved your bag to let him sit next to you. the way he kept trying to talk to you even though you ignored him at every opportunity. you didn’t know why he was so persistent but eventually you caved in and gave him a chance. you figured that there had to be a reason to why so many people were obsessed with him.

well one thing led to another and now you’re half naked in his dorm room as suguru lights a cigarette, watching you fumble with the button of your jeans as you prepare to head to your afternoon class. usually you’d engage in light banter with him but these past few hookups he’s been more curious about your personal life. with him asking questions about your degree, your friends and your hobbies etc. you answered them because they were harmless surface level questions. plus it doesn’t hurt to know more about the person you’re hooking up with, right?

you pull on your sweater, feeling his eyes wonder over your body as if he’s committing it to memory before looking up at you. “do you have any plans after class tomorrow?” he asks as he rests his arm on his headboard revealing his torso that is littered with kisses and love bites. he looks at you with a neutral expression that makes it seems like he’s purely making small talk. “not much.” you reply putting your other shoe on. “why?”

“jus’ curious.” he takes another drag of his cigarette before exhaling the smoke. “let me take you out.” he asks after a moment of silence, making you still for a minute before letting out a laugh. “can’t get enough of me huh?” you wiggle your eyebrows just to tease him not missing the slight flush on the tips of his ears. “not really when you were begging for me to—” you didn’t hear the rest of suguru’s sentence as it was muffled by your hands covering his mouth.

you tenatively remove your hand from his mouth as he gives you a lazy grin. “im gonna be late for class.” you walked out of his dorm, sparing no time to hear his response. his sudden invitation to hang out worried you even more. you liked the pace you were both going at and you didn’t think there’d been any issues since you both agreed to be open and honest with each other.

class went on and you could barely focus, you were more busy trying to decipher and decode his simple invitation to hang out and the reasons behind it. the thought followed you from your class to the sanctuary of your dorm room. you eventually gave up with trying to study, collapsing on your bed as you decided that you’d get the answers out of him soon.

—

as promised, suguru met you outside of your lecture hall. his signature raven locks was pulled neatly into a bun with some strands being pulled out to frame his face. he was dressed in usual all black attire, hands stuffed in his pockets as his eyes scanned the crowd for you. he spotted you talking to a guy, that he recognised to be ino—one of the keen pledges at the frat satoru was apart of. suguru didn’t like the way ino was making you laugh and giggle which was weird since he was supposed to have zero attachments to you at all.

hearing ino crack another one of his tired jokes was enough for suguru to finally step in. “ready to go babe?” he asked taking your hand in his. aside from how natural the pet name sounded coming out of his mouth, you were also stunned at the sudden contact but decided to go along with it anyway. “sure.” you replied as coolly as possible, trying to ignore the glares you got from other students who were probably former flings of suguru.

you pulled him aside swatting his arm. “what was that for!” he rubbed his now sore arm with a pout on his lips. “i was trying to save you from his terrible jokes!” you looked at him with a sense of disbelief. “saving me by trying to play as my boyfriend?” you whisper shouted at him, not wanting to cause commotion. however it seemed that your words fell flat as suguru was lost in a trance, as his eyes hyper-fixated on your plump glossy lips.

you snapped a finger in his face trying to get his attention, “god you’re unbelievable.” you walked off, ignoring the way your heart pounded against your chest. he grabbed your arm and pulled you closer to him rocking you side to side. “you know you don’t mean that, baby.” he purred softly against your ear, sending shivers down your spine. suguru was fine in small doses but having to experience all of him at once was intoxicating, you found that the mild anger you had towards him was slowly evaporating.

“‘m sorry, i couldn’t watch him crack his stupid jokes and making you laugh like that.” he said with an apologetic tone. the new level of vulnerability causing suguru’s usual hawk like eye contact to falter—looking at everything but you. “like i know we said that this was just gonna be casual and shit but like im fucking crazy about you and it’s driving me insane.” he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, his eyes finally meeting yours.

he bent down a little so he’d be at eye level with you. you grabbed his face gently, assessing his features. whilst his words were flattering at the end of the day, the rational part of you was unsure whether to trust them knowing his reputation. “how do i know you’re being genuine?” you asked quietly, trying to remain level headed despite the whirlwind of emotions that were brewing inside of you.

suguru understood where you were coming from. it’s hard to take his word seriously when he’s not a serious person at all romantically but he would do anything to prove the opposite, just so it would quell your doubts and anxieties that were swimming through your head. “if you let me i can show you.” he muttered softly leaning in to press his lips against yours, the cool metal from his lip ring making you shudder.

this kiss was different from all the others you had with suguru, it didn’t stem purely from lust or need, it was something much more gentler, softer and pure. you could argue that this kiss came from a place of love—even if you two were unable to see it at this stage. you pulled away, staring into his glassy onyx eyes that twinkled with something akin to joy.

if sophomore year suguru could see him right now he’d probably go into cardiac arrest. since everyone, including himself, thought he’d never settle down at all. but of course you came along and eventually proved him wrong.

[cupidlovesastro]

Girl tell me why I'm talking to this guy right 😭 and the vibes IMMACULATE. He just felt so comfortable to be around even though he's a teeny bit mean sometimes 😭, the energy just felt so safe and secure to be around and things like that. Like even if im not tryna be attracted to him i keep getting pulled in. I was even talkin about marriage at one point which it was for jokes..but i was lowkey serious😭. The one time I kinda got turned off from him was when we were talking and there was a moment I didn't like how he talked to me cuz it felt kinda cocky and almost bossy and I didn't like that which is ironic because the main thing i liked about him was his dominance..but idk i could just feel the difference idk how to put that 😭. Anyway, Whole time I'm just sitting here like hm..I wonder what his Zodiac is. The mf is a aquarius and I got a aquarius chiron, aquarius over my 4H, groom in 11H in my groom pc, ic aquarius, juno in 11H, neptune in aquarius i- 😀. Now I wanna try ro fake look up this boy chart and see the other placements but ion wanna be weird about it 😭

And it's so funny because literally in high-school I had the longest crush on a guy and he was also an aquarius and it was for this exact same reason😭. Something they both had in common was they both are lowkey flirts and just easily atract ppl😭..I feel like I'm cooked 🥲

yeah his sun conjunct your chiron is no good. it’s either gonna heal you or hurt you. if it hurts you, it’s going to remind you of childhood trauma, your mother, affect your emotional wellbeing, etc.

if it heals you, it’s going to heal childhood trauma and inner child wounds, as well as possibly heal mother wounds although, interactions with other women help more with that than men

ic being aquarius pretty much shows you attract aquarian energy or have ancestral aquarian energy in your family or even in your past lives

11h energy can be a little different than aquarian energy imo. i feel like 11h energy is honestly like the sugar coating of aquarian energy. 11h doesn’t necessarily represent coldness, shallowness, etc, the same way aquarius does

and YES aquarians are huge flirts. they are an air sign after all and secretly love making friends and relationships with people (although they won’t admit it). aquarius’s are either the weird kid who you thought was weird in a bad way and ended up being cool, or the players who have talked to at least half the damn school LMAO

[nijisanji-brain-rot-fics]

xsoleil boys x reader || wedding day

a/n: im bored as hell now guys 😭 im just gonna like post a bunch of headcanon stuff LOL i might post like fanfics, but thats a maybe wwww ALSO ALSO starting to reaaally like the later waves of niji, so ill prob focus on mainly xsoleil, noctyx, iluna, etc. ill dribble in some luxiem from time to time, but like the other waves need attention too 🙌 i might do some of the fem waves, but im not sure how to write those LOL

HEX HAYWIRE

bro this man's voice makes my brain go haywire

anyways uh

would definitely just be like very happy and stoic during yalls wedding

he'd treat you like his pretty princess/prince

anyways uhhh he would be that kind of romantic person to like take your hand and kiss it once you go to the front

oh my lord, im struggling to find his green flags when all i listen to from his asmrs are the yandere ones

UHM...... i mean like reception would be cute, like he'd dance with you

like beauty and the beast vibes ykkk

help im genuinely struggling w anything thats positive about marrying him 💀

DOPPIO DROPSCYTHE

AWWW HED BE SMILING AND LIKE EXCITED

LIKE HE WOULD BE WAITING FOR YOU EXCITEDLY AT THE FRONT

i feel like doppio would just be generally so excited and happy hes finally marrying the person he loves so much

he would fix his hair JUST FOR THIS

this is also the only event he will never be late to

oh god he would be so nervous when the ceremony actually starts

like hes worried he'll mess up his parts or someone will object

BUT it probably wont happen and itll be a great wedding!!

reception!doppio would be fucking lit

HE WOULD BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY

he'd already be making dad jokes even if he isnt a dad yet

i swear, he would be kissing your forehead or cheek every few minutes

oh my goodness, drunk doppio would be so sweet

like i can just imagine him getting tipsy while like the maid of honor and the groomsman doing their little speech things and him getting really emotional

VER VERMILLION

honestly, i think he would cry at yalls wedding

like, he just screams 'emotionally fragile man on occasion'

the second he sees you in your wedding dress/suit/wtv, he'll start tearing up knowing that yall r gonna be married

and he loves you ya know

he'd hide the fact he was tearing up when you get to the front www

five bucks, doppio would be stifling his laughter when he sees ver crying

reception would be wholesome

ver would be whispering things to you while you guys dance

and not just random things

like i mean in korean

yeah his cute ass voice when he talks in korean

the voice where you want to keel over and throw up because it's really goddamn adorable and kind of attractive because people who speak more than one language is always somewhat attractive

tipsy ver is something to live for

it doesn't always happen but when it does its either hilarious as fuck or really cute and wholesome

like when he gets drunk, there's a 50% chance he starts to emote on the dance floor with an equally drunk doppio

or he could be holding your hand the whole time and staying by your side

a/n: WWWW im sorry i half assed hex's hcs LMAO i just genuinely cant see something that isnt overly explicit or kinky that wouldnt happen on ur wedding so thats why his is like the shortest lmao 💀 errhmm yeah, also ver is my #1 oshi thats why he has like the uh longest one LMAO UHHM yeah whatever lols have a good timezone

[miguel-owhora]

please do, come join us PLEASE. i love this au so much it's so fun like genuinely.

but!!!!!! idk how designs work but :3 For the most part, they all look like their game designs, obviously. im only gonna do Micah n Arthur for now, since they're the main characters of this AU, but i might do other characters later on.

Micah still looks the same, same hair and same facial hair, and same body shape. His hair only gets greasy when he forgets to shower, but otherwise it's pretty soft and healthy, and whenever he wears a cap, he pulls it into a short ponytail. He still has the same staring problem and same heavy bags under his eyes. I like to think he wears glasses, but sometimes he just doesn't, so it's 50/50 if he'll wear them. He will, however, wear them around Arthur because he once called him 'handsome' when he was wearing them and it did wonders to his ego.

He generally wears comfortable clothing, both online and in person. Sweatshirts, worn out and well used, often colored in a washed out red color, and sweats (off whites or grays) are also common. Half of the time he wears flip flops with white socks that are in desperate need of some throwing away. He has a couple of hair ties he has on his wrists at all time for either 1. his hair, or 2. to play around with. I think he'd be a big fan of energy drinks, or straight up alcohol whenever he needs a quick booster.

However, I do think Micah does know how to dress himself if he needs to go to some fancy event. Let's not forget he comes from a line of lawyers, and I imagine his daddy drilled into his sons on how to properly dress themselves because "no son of mine will dress like a slob." So he definitely knows where to get suits and has tailors phone numbers written down, so when he's needed at some event that requires proper clothes, he comes in looking well-groomed. He probably carries Arthur around like some arm candy.

Speaking of Arthur, he still pretty much looks the same as he does in the same. I think everyone in college looks a bit younger, but still the same appearance as they do in the game, if that makes sense. Anyways, he still has the same hair cut but his beard is more trimmed, more of a stubble really. He has an almost soft and quiet vibe to him, as in he's a chill guy who looks kinda grumpy lmao. Blue is still his favorite color, he probably also wears sweatshirts like Micah, but wears jeans instead of sweats. When he is at home, he definitely mostly wears shorts, and also wears sandals with socks, like Micah. Probably wears some sort of cap with either some stupid fish joke on it, or a little deer. He always has a tired look on him, because he's almost always tired of dealing with everyone's shenanigans when he just wants to sit down somewhere and draw something.

He probably has some hair ties on his wrists, too, because he happens to know a lot of people with long hair. Anyways, I don't think he's really that deep into his family's shady business. While his dads were a little confused when he chose to study art, they were actually pretty supportive and fund his tuition. Well, more so Hosea than Dutch, because Dutch had been expecting him to follow in their footsteps. Still, he does drill some law facts into Arthur's brain.

Anyways, that being said, since Arthur isn't that deep into the family business, he doesn't really attend any fancy events. That's more of John's job, who does end up following in the lawyer path. But, considering Micah eventually does work his way into Dutch's good graces - which leads to a semi-friendly rivalry between John n him (which could be a nod towards the events of RDR) - Micah gets a higher position and rank within the company, he's forced to attend several events, which he despises. But he does deal with it, and gets cocky and in a pleasant mood whenever Arthur joins him, mostly as his arm candy.

Whenever he does attend these events, Arthur wears a basic and simple suit. Of course, considering he comes from a wealthy family and his sweetheart does have money, it's simple but of high quality, tailored to fit him. And goodness gracious, does it really emphasize his beauty.

[i-miss-summertime]

THE ianthony song for me rn is Birds of a Feather by Billie Eilish, from Anthony's POV (this one is gonna be a little more on vibes since the song lyrics are admittedly a bit simple)

ill be real, this one is purely vibes considering the lyrics of the first verse are pretty vague but still feels like it fits into our gloomy boy's style of how he thinks of love. A serial monogamist, he self admits to falling hard and fast for people. These morbid, grand statements of love feel really in line with Anthony (iykyk, watch his insta stories if you dont).

The line that really sticks out to me is the "I know I said I'd never think I wasn't better alone" like reflecting back on the days that Anthony felt like he was taking on more of the work of Smosh and his eventual need to go independent.

Also the "might not be forever/But if it's forever, it's even better" is so "if we burn this to the ground, im happy to do that with you"-core. Like no one knows what the future will bring, no one can guarantee what's going to happen but they want to continue Smosh and be friends for the long haul.

Lastly, I just feel like even the term "Birds of a feather" really apply to them. So many commenters, even people who got into Smosh post-Anthony leaving, were commenting how Anthony's the other half of Ian's weird humor. Amanda said, in their "We React to Your Compilations" video when watching the I&A compilation, "they are the same." It was just a short throwaway line but it feels like even people around them feel like they're two of a kind.

This pre-chorus is actually so Anthony. He's so transparent with his fondness for his friend. That's his BEST FRIEND who he's known since he was a little kid.

Plus, I love Anthony and jokes about his emotional, crying content aside, he's so emotive and sensitive. Not in a negative way like sensitive can sometimes mean, but just wears his heart on his sleeve more than many men (him crying during his ISADW with Ian, tearing up during the Reading the Angry Letter video, even crying during that one reddit story about two best friends falling for each other). He just seems like the type to cry from how much he loves someone.

now THIS is the verse that makes me clock it as Anthony thinking of Ian. In this era, he's hyping Ian up so much and a compliment machine in contrast. We know Ian doesn't give himself enough credit as said by Anthony and Shayne on Smosh Mouth and with his history of downplaying his work, I could definitely see an interaction of his friends being frustrated on Ian's behalf of not being able to accept compliments.

Like literally, can you not see him responding to a compliment with insistence that it's just a "bit" as resident of Bit City lol. I also love the "don't be stupid" line like as much as Anthony is so fond of Ian, what would their relationship be without a bit of heckling in a loving way.

Finally, the post chorus gets me so much fr.

In a metaphorical sense, they've talked about how they've had to let go off who they saw the other as, let go of their past friendship to meet each other again.

Yes, they're different people now and this in many cases mean they aren't compatible to the point of being able to just be best friends again. This is where the metaphor of knowing someone from another live KILLS me. Yes, they look different and act different but you still know them where it matters. You can love them for who they are at their core and learn to love the new pieces of them as they evolve. Even if they're different in so many ways to old Ian and Anthony, "you had that same look in your eyes" that brings them back to that bond

"I love you, don't act so surprised"

Look, I know I just rambled about how this song is so from Anthony's perspective but can you not imagine Ian saying this after the funeral roast. He said I love you and everyone, including Anthony was so shook. I think they both knew that Ian loved Anthony, it was just never said, verbally. Kinda teasing but still endearing, the line reads as "I'll tell you because you love the verbal validation but you already know <3"

I just love how you can easily interpret this song as platonic and it's still so sweet and describing this deep love. I just can't help but think of them when I hear it <333

[luwukass]

OKAY TRACKLIST BREAKDOWN!!!!

so i have now had breakfast and coffee and my brain is on and FUNCTIONING lets get into this

putting a break here incase youre scrolling and dont wanna read all of this lol

so first things first i was watching tiktok and people were making a big deal about how its split up into sides similarly to midnights now i do believe that taylor posted the back cover of the vinyl and that the cd will be different but i could be wrong. even if it is split up like this on purpose on every physical copy this does mean that it is a two LP album instead of one like midnights

one vinyl (both sides) can hold up to 44 minutes of music on it so we can roughly estimate that the full album will be about an hour and a half long now if each side is 22 minutes long each track on side a, b and c should be about (if each song is in equal length) 5 and a half minutes long. side d has 5 songs on it so some of those might be short to fit in the manuscript

i have also seen people compare this back cover to the back cover of lover which is absolutely breaking my heart and im sure thats not gonna be the last lover comparison i see about this album

okay so lets dive into this track by track

SIDE A

track one: Fortnight (feat Post Malone)

okay so first of all this is obviously not a reference to fortnite the video game but i think all of those jokes are funny as hell. the fortnight shes talking about here is a reference to the measurement of time as seen down below google states that fortnight is a british term for two weeks.

according to wikipedia fortnight is derived from the old english term fēowertiene niht, meaning "fourteen nights".

now onto post malone i actually listen to some of his music from time to time. he mostly does do rap but his most recent album austin (which is coincidentally also taylors brothers name, but is also post malones real name) is listed on google as alternative rock, indie pop and synth-pop. so im unsure of what vibe post will bring to the track. i think its also surprising she placed one of the two collabs as the opening track. i think the vibe for this track will probably be either a story about what happened in a certain two week period or about what is going to happen in two weeks from the songs time standpoint (if that makes sense lol)

track two: The Tortured Poets Department

A TITLE TRACK!!!! now obviously we dont know much about the album yet so we cant really try and figure out what the title track will be about so im just gonna do a little yippee for having a title track

track three: My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

this is a Whole fucking title good lord the only thing that really comes to mind when i think of this title is the lyric in better than revenge where she says “soon shes gonna find stealing other peoples toys on the playground wont make you many friends” which is if im not forgetting anything the only lyric as of now where she’s referred to being someones partner as someones “toy” but that lyric itself is a metaphor for relationships being playing on a playground. this will probably be a sad or angry song about how her ‘boy’ goes around breaking/hurting his favorite ‘toy’ aka taylor

track four: Down Bad

okay now down bad if you dont know is a slang term to describe how badly you have fallen for someone (mostly used in a more sexual nature in my experience than romantic) so this song will probably be about how badly she is for the love interest of the song

SIDE B

track five: So Long, London

alright new track five lets go! so this is obviously seeming to be a reference to track 11 on lover, london boy. now like taylor said when she announced it this album has been a secret for two years so we dont know when these songs were written or who they are about but i feel like it is safe to say this song and most of the other will be about said london boy [i personally do not care who a song is about and it is not taylors job to tell us who a song is about and that isnt the point of her music, but i will be commenting on the joe breakup bc that seems to be a large idea of this album so far] i can see this probably being about the break up and possibly sampling some music from london boy like she did with cornelia street and youre losing me

track six: But Daddy I Love Him

okay so the first thing i thought of when i read this track title is the scene from the little mermaid where ariel is fighting with her dad over the eric statue and im gonna be honest i dont remember the plot points in order of this movie BUT i do remember when taylor dressed up as ariel for her new years party in 2019. so given what we know this will probably be a song about maybe her fighting/arguing with her dad over how much she loves the love interest of the song regardless of who he is/how he treats her

track seven: Fresh Out The Slammer

okay so im not sure what this song will be about bc i dont think taylor has ever been to jail before so it would probably be metaphorical type of “im back bitches” type of song im assuming this might be a bass heavy maybe more rock leaning song and if it is a “im back bitches” it might be about the amount of time she was single for with the ‘slammer’ being her old relationship

track eight: Florida!!! (feat Florence and the Machine)

alright so as we all know this album has been in the works at least for two years but we dont know when each song was written so take this with a grain of salt but the tampa eras tour shows were the first shows after the news of the joe breakup dropped. so this song might be about her feelings during those shows. for those that want to know these were the surprise songs for the tampa shows in order.

night one: speak now and treacherous

night two: the great war and youre on your own kid

night three: mad woman and mean

SIDE C

track nine: Guilty as Sin?

okay so my main curiosity about this track is the question mark in the title because guilty as sin isnt much of a thought provoking title to me but that fact that its a question is interesting. the current vibes im getting are that this might be a more sexy song? but i have no idea here

track ten: Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?

okay so THIS is giving big taunting energy like “aww who would ever be afraid of little ol me 🥺 youre afraid of me?” which im Hoping thats what the vibes are bc that would HIT but i can also see it being completely different as well

track eleven: I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

oh my GOD this one sounds like its gonna be sad. so this is obviously a reference to the common seen online phrase “i can/could fix him” which as ive seen is normally used towards people who are attracted to hot fictional characters that usually have a lot of emotional baggage or are villains (i saw it a lot when ballad of songbirds and snakes came out about young snow) so this song will probably be about her promising that she Can fix him and really will despite ‘him’ being broken or maybe even possibly a bad partner

track twelve: loml

so i saw and rb a post earlier about how its very interesting that this is already an acronym which i completely agree with because taylor knows we are no strangers to turning her song titles into acronyms. so loml does usually mean love of my life but i think because its already an acronym it might be something different (i saw someone earlier say it might be loss of my life instead of love)

SIDE D

track thirteen: I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

this one i think will kill me personally. i think this one will probably be about her continuing to go on with life (and possibly the eras tour) post joe break up i think this one will either be a sad song or a light beat ‘picking myself up on my feet’ song

track fourteen: The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

this has so many implications but personally i think the interpretation shes gonna use for this song will be about how the said man is small emotionally and just as a person (i doubt she will talk about physical shortness in height or other areas)

track fifteen: The Alchemy

now im gonna be so real here i have no idea what this one will be about google says that alchemy is an older version of chemistry so maybe she will talk about the chemistry or alchemy she has in her relationships?

track sixteen: Clara Bow

alright Clara Bow! okay so i dont know much about old hollywood so i am NOT the person to deep dive into what this song will be about but all i do know about her is that she was The “It” girl of the silent film era so im assuming this song will probably be like the lucky one and talk about the rise to stardom and being the Biggest Star Of The Time

track seventeen(bonus track): The Manuscript

alright so after looking at the definition of a manuscript this is the PERFECT bonus track?!!?!?! so a manuscript is normally a piece of work that is written or typed out but isnt officially published which is just genius for having it be a bonus track that probably wont be on streaming (if not for a long time) i have no idea what itll be about but i love that mastermind

that’s pretty much all of my thoughts as of currently PLEASE let me know what yall think and what theories yall have for this album i am SO excited for april 19th 💕

[witchbugs]

hello beloved mutuals u’ll never guess what character this post is about. to celebrate the episode betty’s ten year anniversary of existence here is a annotation of sorts (?) of my betty playlist (<- talking to empty audience) warning this makes increasingly less sense

starting off strong with betty (a little bit of madness) by half shy !!!!! we dont appreciate this song enough THERE IS A SONG ABT HER !!!!!! BY SOMEONE WHO WROTE MUSIC FOR THE SHOW :3 dont even have to say anything abt this one

THE MOON WILL SING BY THE CRANE WIVES. ITS THE. THE I COULD HAVE BEEN ANYONE ELSE. I SPENT SO MUCH TIME DEDICATED TO SIMON IM NOT SURE THERES EVEN ANY ME LEFT ANYMORE. shaking like a rabid dog do we get the vision

the deal by mitski !! this one is just sooo betty fusing with golb ok trust me

& by tally hall!! this one is solely for the outro tbh 😭 BIG BAD BETTY OF THE POCALYPSE, SHE OPENS HER LIPS AND IT GOES LIKE THIS ‼️🔥🔥

I BET ON LOSING DOGS BY MITSKI. GODDD THIS IS THE ONE THAT MADE ME WANNA MAKE THIS POST. III BET ON LOSING DOGSS, I KNOW THEYRE LOSING AND I PAY FOR MY PLACE BY THE RING. simon/ice king ok. are we seeing the vision. and dont even get me STARTEDDD on i always want u when im finally fine… ITS THE WAY SIMON WAS INSANE AND WHEN HE WAS FINALLY HIMSELF AGAIN SHE WAS GONE. EATING GLASS. and FINALLY the SOMEONE TO WATCH ME DIE. GODDDD.

curses by the crane wives! I JUST THINK IT FITS OK :3 the devils after both of ussss OUGHGUH

no eyed girl by lemon demon, gonna be so real idk how to explain this one. we’re just vibing

i’m your man by mitski. yes theres a lot of mitski. this is on my petrigrof playlist as well and i think it could be from either pov tbh. LIKE the first verse is betty i think and the second is simon’s suicidal ass in fionna and cake

running up that hill (a deal with god) by kate bush :3 this ones just OBVIOUSSS id make a deal with god… GET HIM TO SWAP OUR PLACES…..

my girlfriend is a witch by october country ! just for sillies. magic betty ily forever and ever

love, me normally by will wood! dont know how to explain this one either tbh bc will wood lyrics scramble my brain but in a pleasant way. idk i just think shes full of autism and also magic insanity

sick of losing soulmates by dodie! OUGHGHG. another more petrigrof centered one but mannn . I CAN FINALLY SEE UR AS FUCKED UP AS ME SO HOW DO WE WIN. I WONT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. lighting myself on fire

death thrice dawn by the scary jokes! ngl i dont remember adding this one but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ tossing this verse at u

wife by mitski!!!! is this a stretch. idc idc. ur home to mee if i am not urs what am iiii

goodbye, my danish sweetheart by mitski !! guhh magic betty and “i’m sure that uve seen what its done to my heart” and “im not the girl i ought to be” and “you can tell them what u saw in me and not the way i am” ☹️ ANDDD could we just be what we’re meant to be, im just about to beg u pleaseew ☹️💔

i guess by mitski GODDDD so proud of her for moving on and idk learning to pass the bechdel test i GUESS but im GOINJ TO EAT FIBERGLASS

ANDDD THATS THE END !!! FOR NOW !!! there will be more songs on this playlist later :3 if u read this ily and i will probably do this w/ my petrigrof playlist at some point :3

[poor-impulsecontrol]

but- I don’t understand. I don’t follow. it doesn’t compute— you are a good person!!!!! you listen to me talk when nobody has for fucking years! you answer every question, you actually like me, and make me feel like my words are worth something, and I feel like that in itself makes you worthy of kindness and care.. for dealing with me. loneliness is scary, and it makes ya think ya dont deserve connection—, but let yourself have this without thinkin’ there’s ulterior motives!! if I didn’t wanna talk to to ya, I wouldn’t!

too sappy, antsy! roll it back, reverse—

the terrifier films are a bit boring to me if I’m being honest,, I watched the first 20 minutes of the first terrifier and turned it off because I felt like the real horror was the braincells I was loosing!! @_@

ahh, but I’m not gonna yuck your yum!! you’re havin’ fun with them and that’s good! that’s okay!! do you own any merch from that franchise?

OOH !! what was your favorite movie as a kid? do you still like it now? i dont think i can ever stop liking something once I start, i still love the The Nightmare Before Christmas as much as I did the first time I watched it as a lil’ kiddo!!

and- and I think gum counts as candy, actually!!! my favorite gum flavor is strawberry. funny how it’s a opposite to yours, huh? oh , ya- I like spearmint gum whenever I need to feel grounded. its such a strong flavor, it pulls me outta any itchy scratchy yucky thoughts and makes me feel more in-tune with my surroundings!! maybe you should try that. ^_^

I have a stupid amount of stuffed animals, all thrifted!!! i buy all my clothes from the thrift, so sometimes i’ll see a cute little stuffed animal peeking out from the toy area , and then i feel bad leaving them behind! like, im not a monster!! somebody left them behind and i’ll take em home!! i have too , too many. my bed’s completely overtaken by them!!

my favorite stuffed animal I’ve got’s of a death-head hawkmoth. i think that you’d like them, they give off a similar vibe to you!!! the moth, not the stuffed animal. they’ve got a skull on their backs and they’re black-brown n’ yellow!!! you’d think they’re rad. they remind me of you.

and, woah— right on the money ,, I didn’t know I was that obvious! I didn’t mean to spam-like your stuff. you just.. you’re cool and I got overexcited about learning things about you.

- guess anonymity is over,, @rottingwiththebugs 🐜🐜

nah, i'm not a good person. if you actually knew me, you'd know i'm the vilest piece of shit disguised. just because i let you talk and i answer your questions doesn't mean i'm a good person. it means i'm...lonely. bored.

yeah, the terrifier films aren't to everyone's taste. they're actually stupid as fuck. but the gore keeps me from disassociating, so i like it. i don't own any merch, i'm too broke for that. i'd love to, like, dress up as art the clown one day. that'd be funny. and i'd actually feel okay going outside for once. people would be scared of me instead of the other way around.

sure, i'll try the spearmint gum thing. i don't know if it'd help, though. pain is one of the things that keeps me the most grounded. kind of ironic. since pain is the whole reason i have this fucked up brain in the first place.

it's cute you have so many stuffed animals. you're hella empathetic, you know? i mean—i think you are. don't know if you'd agree. if i'm making it up or something. we're talking through a fucking screen. but, yeah, the hawkmoth thing is sweet. i don't know how i remind you of them—again, the fucking screen thing—but it's nice to actually be thought of.

right on the money, huh? does that mean i win some? only half joking. but i've looked at your blog and your pretty cool, too. i mean, you're talking to me so you must be awesome. joking.

[dollar-store-sparklez]

so im gonna take a little time here while its slow at work to gush for a moment

you see this guy?

thats vikingpilot. he is a streamer and he has a tumblr, he does a lot of really cool content and hes the type of guy to absolutely want in your dnd game. hes chaotic and funny and he joined my double life server.

record scratch, freeze frame. yeah you heard me, the streamer joined the server. howd that happen? well it all started with the first session where we could not find any cows for the life of us. 2 groups of soulmates including me made a polycule, and it went fine for a while. we found cows the next session. and then they get stuck by lighting through a roof and die. so we, as a joke, blame vikingpilot, because frankly its funny and we're all big fans in the polycule. and then half the polycule died and went yellow. so we blamed him again! as a joke! and then, because we didn't really expect him to, yknow. agree we were like. what if we invited him. yknow, since he killed us and our cows. but he did agree and we made the server circle up and do a summoning ritual, the only people aware he was coming being our group of 4, even the friend thay whitelisted him didnt actually know he was gonna show up. so we ring a bell jist So Much and then boom. vikingpilot and utter chaos and also he actually killed half the polycule this time oopsies.

pandora why are you telling me this you ask

bc its the coolest thing ever actually. how many streamers would actually casually join a server to cause chaos just cause someone asked. like, basically none, thats not how it worked. but my silly got round 2 tumblr sexyman minecraft guy was like yeah thats funny lets go and did it. and we did have plans but they were completely derailed because we made viking a god and it was hilarious. but its just genuinely so cool, hes a super nice cool guy and it was most of the servers first impression of him which made it way better, and all i did was ask politely and ring a bell. im just like. it was so cool genuinely everyone had an absolute blast, we gave him gay dirt which has now been seen by three minecraft streamers, a win for the me community for sure, and just like. yeah it was really really cool. open invitation king, if you ever wanna come back and vibe you can, it was funny and awesome and you were great

and thats all to say

SUBSCRIBE TO VIKINGPILOT WOOOOO SUB W TWITCH PRIME AND ON YOUTUBE HES A SILLY SCARY GUY SUB TO VIKING WOOOOO

[j2zara]

j3j4 time!!!!! director's commentary for the part starting with "He says it again" and ending with "there really is something thrilling about being chased, isn’t there?"

Oh my god i asked for this, didn't I? I'm gonna interrogate my deeply horny art. Sorry I put this off for so long but again i got a little embarrassed trying to analyze my own smut and needed to take a break. This is gonna get long winded. Please bear with me.

He says it again. His voice shaky. “Punish me.” A beat. “And why would I do that?” she asks, feigning naivety. “When you’re being so good for me.”

This is gonna sound funny but. I do think there is something to like. J4 actually being kinda bad at the reward/punishment framework of like a Scene b/c she's just ultimately too soft for J3. But to be fair, she is getting something she wants in this situation. He is articulating at least something about his wants to her.

And I've joked before that LJ3 is a little jaceporter coded in that there is a slightly less hostile version but still an undercurrent of "The only time you liked yourself is when you were trying to be someone this cunt might like". And in this moment (well, just prior) he's laughing, he's happy. She likes making J3 feel good, likes herself when she's doing it. She sees herself as too ugly on the inside otherwise, too unloveable and cruel and miserable. She wants to be a person, but she feels like she's getting how to be a person wrong, unless she's with him (and its her god given right to fuck up being a person, she knows this, but part of being a person is the hope that you're doing something of meaning and this? weirdly. Is the only time she feels like she's doing something of meaning)

Anyway. There's this weird dance the two of them are doing of J3 like refusing to articulate what he wants or only doing it in half truths and J4 trying to get him to speak and giving him what he wants but only to a certain extent also those wants conflict anyway. He wants a reward. He wants punishment. he wants EVERYTHING. Is J4 refusing to give him what he wants (punishment) part of their delayed gratification game? Or is it more important to satiate the initial expression of want from earlier (touch me). And obviously, she's doing it with the mage hand so. She's giving him what he wants but there's still that element of denial. That is part of the delayed gratification game, part of the punishment, but also part of her real and genuine boundaries. Her feelings are hurt in this moment, so maybe she's not ready to touch him just yet.

she has to bite back a pathetic moan of her own [...] because he moans her name so loudly, and it makes it sound real, she sounds real, like it’s something of meaning and not just a number—she’s been fighting to be real her whole life and he just willed it into existence, just like that.

Funny b/c i just made a post abt the Eurydice vibes i felt writing this scene. Anyway I know i was a total coward and didn't commit to the Electra-Ellie-El name for J4 in this bc. As much as I personally like it (and its an @neerdowellnarrator Esme Special so thank them) and use it interchangeably i'm always scared abt adding new shit to the lore... Mainly bc idk. I feel like I don't want my decisions to carry that much weight but im also terrified of my choices being rejected. I was so scared abt that with Bluejay as well. But like it seems like everyone has really taken to it so tbh i feel less weird abt it now. Thank u Esme, go pay ur respects to them.

That being said. The other reason i wanted to hold back i guess is. I really liked the idea of J3 imbuing the name "J4" with meaning even though it's just a number just because he wants her so much, he reveres her that much. The name J4 is not inherently meaninful but he imbues it with meaning. And like. Doubly so because that's not even her hand, its through use of a tool.

And there's something so... Unfair I guess. I loved the unfairness of it. Of someone else being the one to give J4 meaning. And it being so easy. Like. She wants to feel real. But she's fought so hard to be the person who determines her own life. She strives for personhood. And J3 doesn't have to fight. He just says it and she just feels real. And that's so unfair. She wanted to be the one to do that. But she'll take it. It's why she moans too. She wants it. She's used to being difficult to love. It feels so good in this moment to be wanted, special, loved—especially for being who she is, and not as an extension of anybody.

There's also the idea of like. The follower having power over the god. Putting a name to it. So that it is Borne into existence. Belief as a form of power.

And being in his head—no wonder he is the way he is, she pities him, the incessant loneliness is abated as he’s filled, as she pushes in deeper, all the other swimming thoughts are vanished completely, he simply wants someone to touch him, wants her to touch him, wants that hand to be hers so badly, in his head she’s right there with him—

There's so much like. J3 being like Jace, being like J2, wanting to amalgamate into one perfect being energy here to me. In the like. Being filled in a sexual way but also like also the. spiritual way i guess? I think thats the one thing that i can't picture J4 wanting that the the others secretly or not so secretly desire. Like. On some level they want someone, porter especially, to take over and like. ALmost live their life for them. Or Be with them always. They want that level of closeness and intimacy, and they maybe even want to abdicate their own responsibility. And. As exhausted as J4 is i do think she understands the appeal in that but she still would resist.

There's also J3 and his like. Use of touch and sex to like. Shortcut intimacy while also being terrified of vulnerability. As like. Connective tissue with Biggest Lie, J3 is always telling himself he doesn't need intimacy, he's better without it while also craving it so badly. And then being afraid to ask for it. So like. He wants to be touched, he wants to bridge a gap, he is so lonely and ignored all the time.

And this is part of a recurring thing of like. It's hard for J4 to tell if he wants her or wants someone. Most of the time, when we get in j3's head, there is a little bit of both and so im always leaving it ambiguous. However, I said this before, obviously ppl are free to read it as they like, but i do belief J4's self hatred makes her a bit of an unreliable narrator. Yes, there are thoughts of broad loneliness in j3's head, of wanting someone not just her, but as much as wanting someone vs. wanting her are both thoughts in j3's head, it usually ends up coming back to her. He wants intimacy, not just with anyone, but with J4. it's why he's always picturing her in his head when all he's getting is the mage hand.

She’s still slow, still teasing, she’s enjoying making him come undone and all without touching him, getting right into the rhythm she knows can make him keen like fucking animal, and then he does—it’s not quite the same, but she’s getting the hang of it, and he really needs to get out of her head, because she wants it, too. She wants it to be her. She wants to give him everything.

I think the like. J3 and J4 understanding each other really well thing is very present here. I call it Homophrosyne which was coined to refer to Penelope and Odysseus, when two people think alike. Like. There's the irony of J4 saying J3 should get out of her head when she's the one reading his mind. And her also craving intimacy with him.

I also think this is an LJ3 + Jaceporter parallel. J3 and Porter as people who are ravenous, they want everything. J4 and Jace as the person they truly want most of all yet are always looking past. You are all I want. You will never be enough. And that's where J4's doubt always comes in. How could she truly satiate someone who wants everything?

But the reversal could also be true. We could see J4 as Luxury Sex Object Prison Coded Porter. As a god who wants to bestow all the best onto her favorite worshipper. So he never has to want for anything else every again. (maybe in a way that is selfish on the part of the god. That way, they can truly monopolize the mind of their saint. Be the only thing they will ever need)

Like what you see? he asks, mouth slightly agape as he makes eye contact with her—the intensity of it knocking the wind out of her. Somehow even when he submits, the pull he has on her, it’s unreal. Not a message. A thought. “Yes…” she breathes before she can help herself. Dawning horror, and then, “Do—Do you want me out of your head? “Nah. I like being double-penetrated.” [...]“You are such a freak,” says J4, but she can brave running her nails along the underside of his thigh. He notices, too, gasps.

Again this is like. Calling attention to the IYWD thing of like. The relationship between god and follower being a two way street. The follower has power over the god just like the god has power over the follower. The person submitting having power over the one in control. Which is very like. J4 kryptonite. She wants to have control over her own life, and when she's with J3 she feels weak, not in control, like his mere existence has power over her.

Again, I think there's like. More homophrosyne, or J3 understanding J4. In that he knew that J4 was using detect thoughts on him the whole time. And J4's reaction being. Like. She truly does believe in personal autonomy, so she does feel terrible and guilty about this violation that she was willing to commit. (A violation that is. To take. To invade. Something she is afraid aligns herself with porter, with everything she hates)

And. Ok. I do think the DP joke is funny. Like. I will give myself that. I'm silly but i do think it's clever. This does kinda go in line with my like. I love when J3 is filthy but in my mind he's also the funniest clone and this kinda goes with that. But also, he's not lying. J3 seeks out everything. He is into everything. He wants it all before he goes. And as much as he gets off on being told he's gross and disgusting and he can make jokes about it, a part of him is truly worried those desires are too dark, too unpalatable, they make him too unlovable. J4 does affirm he is a freak as lot, like, half joking, but to me that's not condemnation. It's like. instead of being like "oh no don't worry you're so normal <3" it's like. I love you amidst all your flaws. Because of them. You don't need to be perfect. You are a perverse, but there is nothing wrong with being perverse.

“Would it make you smug if I said you do this better than He does?” “Maybe a little.”  The best part? She knows he means it, too. She'll do anything for him after this.

Listen. I love when LJ3 is good for each other but i love when they're a little bit fucked up. Like. The ambiguity of whether they can escape the narrative!!! They should be able to exist on their own terms!!! They willed this, they chose this, they want each other intentionally, but also. This is such a tie-in to Biggest Lie as well. Because in that, J3 gets off on the idea that Porter thinks he's better than Jace. And here, J4 gets off on the idea that she's better than Porter. Like. It always has to come back to invoking jaceporter. They get off on the idea of transcending their creators, but is that true escape? For them to always be tethered to Jaceporter?

There's also this like. Thing about. Porter wanting to be the center of Jace's world. Remaking jace in his image. Wanting to be Jace's one and only. And is this instinct, this desire for J4, to dominate J3's mind, monopolize it, be the only one for him. Is it Of Porter?

Gonna skip some of the stuff that's just plainly horny that i don't have much commentary on... I will say, her kissing the corner of his mouth and finally getting him off is like. AFTER the "Being better than Porter" confession which is so funny like it takes that for them to broach the intimacy. For her to fulfill her desire and give him what he wants. And like. Nice? Or fucked up? who is to say.

“Come on then,” says J4, flashing him a wink over her shoulder before turning away again. She beckons him forward with the Mage Hand as a final act before it is dispelled. Once in the bedroom, she lays herself upon her master’s comforter, her legs spread. Waiting. The creak of the door being pushed open tells her that J3 is quick to follow her, and J4 smiles to herself. Then he’s on the bed, and the sight of him on his knees, crawling toward her makes her heart skip a beat. She likes to think of herself as the kind of person who takes action, but there really is something thrilling about being chased, isn’t there?

I do like J4 reclaiming a bit of her power here. Like I know she's femdomming for a lot of this but i feel like in her mind she very much perceives herself to be on the backfoot. The wink feels like a moment where she is truly confident.

But also! The willing reversal! J4 usually being the one to act, to take control, and that's seen as an act of power in most ways, but also, it's to perform labor for someone else. The person who commands the attention, who doesn't even have to lift a finger. Do they not have power in their way? And J4 is exhausted. And she wants to be the one to will her own destiny. But that means she's always the one doing the work. Like she has to fight to have her personhood even recognized. And maybe. A part of her wants to be loved simply for who she is.

And so. In this, she wants to be pursued! Especially after so long feeling like a second choice, feeling abandoned when J3 left her for Porter. She's used to him running, returning. Very Orphydice / Persephades. Very Eurydice joining Hades in the underworld.

("Whatever happened. I'm to blame" / "no!" / "You called my name" / "You came!")

She gets to be the god, the one who is worshipped instead of the worshipper. Instead of the sacrifice. (Mr. Hades is a mighty king... seems like he owns everything / kinda makes you wonder how it feels).

On a personal note. I want that for her so bad. She deserves it. She deserves to be pursued. Loved for who she is. But also. J4 wants to be her own person so badly. And yet isn't the desire to be pursued, to be chased? Isn't that so unabashedly Of Jace? Here they are, defying the narrative. Carving out their own future. But are they? Have they transcended the Starbreaker Pantheon? Or are they doomed to repeat the cycle? Are they going to make it?

("Do you trust each other? Do you trust yourselves?" / "We do" / "well listen, brother / if you wanna walk out of hell / you're gonna have to prove it before gods and men / can you do that?" / "We can" / "a'ight! Time to go" / "Mr. Hermes?" / "Yes?" / "Its not at trick?" / "No. / It's a test")

("Do you trust each other? Do you trust yourselves?" / "We do")

[mariatesstruther]

Stay with me,,,, (I'm half asleep so everything I'm saying is nonsense. Forgive)

Tommy and Maria being similar to Jake and Amy, right?

HOW DID TOMMY AND MARIA PROPOSE TO EACH OTHER?

cause I'm thinking of how Jake proposed to Amy and how it was the best thing ever, which made me think of tommy and maria, which made me think they should have a similar vibe

BUT IDK!!!!

OKAY OKAY OKAY I HAVE IDEAS ON THIS

first of all im kicking myself bc i read a tumblr post or fic or SOMETHING online somewhere before that inspired a small bit of how i imagine tommy would propose, and now i can’t find it??? so if this*** sounds familiar it’s definitely based on something i’m just blanking on what it is and will give full credit to op or whatever fucking thing im forgetting. this is also partly based off of how my dad and my mom became official

similar to jake and amy, i imagine them having a really goofy and sweet proposal story, like tommy has to ask maria a million times or sometimes does fake-outs like jim from the office, and maybe it’s something the entirety of jackson is invested.

im also thinking maybe maria wouldn’t want to reallyget married again, not necessarily because of her late husband but more because jackson just makes such a fuss out of weddings and she does not have time to plan that shit and she had a big wedding for her first marriage for the sake of her mother and hated it, so yeah no. she’s just maybe not big on getting married, and for the first bit of time she’s with tommy, she know he really likes her but isn’t surely thinking he wants anything serious. so for a while, maybe a year and a half to two years in, it’s just them being in love as tommy and maria, more partners than anything else to eachother, and that’s just fine with her

so imagine her surprise when one day her and tommy are eating dinner in the dining hall and one of jackson’s biggest gossips comes over and is like “y’all are just too darn cute—now tommy, when are we gonna see a ring on that finger?? it’s a shame this lady aint tied down” and tommy, cool as a fucking cucumber, just goes “oh don’t you worry, i got plans for that” because ??????????? huh????—?

she has to hold back choking on her fucking drink, she’s so taken aback. she waits until whoever that was goes on their marry fuckin way and then blinks, going “um????? you’ve got plans???” because maria is always the one with the plans. tommy hates plans. he says he loves that she loves them, but in a life an unpredictable as this, they often just get in the way; she doesn’t always disagree. but now, apparently, his plan for marriage is sure as his shooting aim, because he just smiles at her a dashingly and winks, murmuring out a smooth and flirty “yes, ma’am. i do i have plans.” for the rest of the dinner, her left leg bounces shakily under the table as he smirks as her from across the way.

because suddenly marriage doesn’t sound so bad, not when it’s marriage to her handsome cowboy goofball; the wedding she would still definitely rather just skip, but she’s sure she can convince tommy of that later. so for the rest of the night and week and month, she is on Red Alert to be proposed to, and unfortunately it just wracks her nerves

but because tommy is Tommy, he lovingly teases and fucks with her just perfectly enough to settle her mind down. he starts mixing in fake-out proposals (he does the shoe-tying one from the office while they’re hiking and watching a sunset during a romantic preproposal date two-person patrol, and she threatens to kick him off the cliff) with joking little asks for her hand in between mundane requests (hey baby, could you be a dear and marry me, then pass me the salt? im kiddin, just kiddin, i aint gonna ask like tha—what? what?? maria! come back!), also mixed with genuinely breathtaking little notes to declare how much he loves her one every few days (a note left on her dresser for her to wake up to one rare morning where tommy was up and out before her: “hey baby. just wanted to let you know how much i love you and how lucky i am to be here with you in my life. you guide me toward a greatness i never thought i could even achieve. i want to make you happy everyday. i can’t wait to call you my wife. seeya at lunch, mi vida. yours, tommy”) until eventually the pressure of being asked The Big Thing isn’t something she’s so anxious for anymore, until thinking about it just makes her smile. she’s looking forward to tommy being her husband more than anything

@bearrycool tysm again baby i got to go to sleep and wake up thinking abt this and it puts a big big big smile on my face

[borom1r]

1-25 choose violence ask game ❤️

ALL OF THEM?????? you’re so real for this ty snfnsnbfns. doing LotR bc of course I am

1. the character everyone gets wrong

PIPPIN I HATE TO SAY IT BUT PIPPIN. all those incorrect quote polls that have been posted where pippin keeps fucking winning YALL REALIZE HES AN ACTUAL CHARACTER RIGHT?? with like depth?? and bonds?? and a personality. yall realize that right?????? right??? ik we all love 2 joke but he would not say half of those things

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

ok I personally enjoy both for Boromir BUT if he IS topping. he is a service top. I will die on this hill

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I block ppl for these takes so no screenshots but everyone who thinks Boromir is a villain. if you think Boromir is a villain I will key your car.

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

there is one singular straw and it is bad Boromir takes in the Boromir tag

5. worst discord server and why

I don’t join fandom discord servers bc I love myself too much for that 💗

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

ummm idk? most of my lotr mutuals have different ships from me and it’s all chill. but tbf I’m very selective abt who I interact with now lmao.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

no one yet thank fuck.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Aragorn/Arwen isn’t actually romantic sorry I think it’s fucked up actually. the vibes are off there for SURE

9. worst part of canon

FARAMIR’S “yeah I’m gonna take you from your home and tame you. haha wdym. you don’t need a blade during times of peace.” SHTICK WITH ÉOWYN IN THE BOOKS. UNPACK YOUR BIASES YOU LITTLE FREAK!!!!!!!!

10. worst part of fanon

HM. I will stick with “people who horrifically misinterpret Boromir’s character”

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

at the moment I only have rings of power blocked but I’ve had that blocked since it came out bc if I look at the armor in that show I will commit crimes.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

MOVIE!FARAMIR MY SPECIALEST LITTLE GUY OOOOOOOOOO MOVIE!FARAMIR I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU he’s so handsome and special and I love him and you WILL all look at him and clap and cheer. it makes me insane that his temptation by the ring mirror’s Boromir’s and he’s actually fucking normal abt the Rohirrim AND I just love him very much :)

13. worst blorboficiation

ummm idk… maybe Frodo

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

HMMM exposing myself but I basically only read Aragorn/Boromir fics lmao + since we’re Choosing Violence the most annoying thing is Boromir just being A Brute. like damn I love the surface level reading of the text maybe try engaging with it above a 1st grade analysis next time 💗

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

hmmmmm idk cuz again I don’t interact w a lot of fanartists so there’s nothing like. annoying. all th ✨motifs✨ I do see r very fun + I like them :)

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

ummm for Serious, portraying Pippin as Stupid. for Silly, uhhhh Trans Faramir is so real to me I completely forgot cis people both 1) exist in the real world and 2) probably interpret Fara as cis too. i don’t get it :(

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

trans Faramir 🩵💗🤍

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

HM idk. trans Faramir again. also bc I love it, utilizing Old Norse culture for the Rohirrim teehee

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

OK IM MAD THAT FINNISH BOROMIR IS JUST ME. THATS ME. THATS AN OUTFIT I WEAR REGULARLY MINUS THE LONG HAIR. I DRESS LIKE THAT TO BUY GROCERIES. i love him for that tho. I’m also mad that MtG Boromir’s stupid pointy muttonchops have grown on me. freak behavior, keeping his facial hair trimmed in those stupid little points

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

I’m fighting for my life reading the histories rn 😑 I find them very dry for the most part

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

idk? I think there is an appropriate level of hype. but idk if Rings of Power had a lot of hype. if it did, then Rings of Power is my answer

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

idk if it’s IGNORED necessarily but the fact that Boromir carries a Rohirric shield in the films does actually genuinely make me insane 💞 I love that sm

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

UNWILLINGLY?????? idk?? ummmm I think it’s all fine for the most part I’m just A Fag so I don’t write het ships. it’s like a moral thing. Éowyn/Faramir gets a pass conceptually bc they’re T4T to me tho

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

idkkkkkkk I don’t engage w discourse bc I want this fandom to remain pleasanttttt

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

again idk.. I block on sight if I see a Bad Take + then I erase it from my memory so I can continue to live in a beautiful blissful world where I. forgor abt cis people ☺️