#haha i love graham's face there

[me-writes-prompts]

:-"It's the spooky season!" Fall/Halloween Prompts-:

(Y'all!!!!! I love autumn! and halloween :) Tag me if you write these!!!!)

By @me-writes-prompts

Carving pumpkins together

^^"You did not try to carve my face onto the pumpkin!" "Oh yes I did, and it looks just like you! Big and spooky, haha."

Cozy spooky movie nights in

Going to abandoned houses

Arguing over who has to rake the leaves

^^"I did it last week! You have to do it this week!!" "Love, I helped you through it!" "Fine, we can do it together."

Going on early morning walks(when it's misty and a little chilly)

Baking goods and messing up, but enjoying it anyway

S'mores!!/bonfires

Making heart-shaped candles and surprising them with them!!

Visiting a farmer's market

^^

Touring a winery

Picnics

^^You're telling me you forgot to bring a blanket? The one main thing needed for a picnic?" "Oops?"

"Alright, what are we dressing up as this Halloween party?" "Uh...how about you dress up as marshmallow and I dress up as graham crackers?" "Okay, sure!"

Pranking them by wearing a scary costume costume

[picnokinesis]

plottier / character focused thirteenth doctor fic recs

Ipseity by WalkerLister (43k, 10 chapters, gen) summary: Eight months since the Doctor sacrificed herself on Gallifrey, and Yasmin Khan is still struggling to move on. However, when she comes across a familiar face who is not acting like herself, Yaz may finally get the answers she has been looking for surrounding the Doctor. However, those answers will be revealed in a way a bit more dangerous than she had been anticipating. //Okay, so no one is surprised that I like the amnesiac!divisioned!13 fic, but in my defence, it's absolutely fabulous. This one was written waaaaay back in mid-2020, so we all knew that 13 was in prison and everyone was pretty sure that Jack was coming back due to some bts detective work, but that was about it - so, for obvious reasons, it doesn't align with ROTD, but it's such a fun one, guys, I love it a lot. Also, y'know, thirteen in a leather jacket and snarling at people? What more could you want?

don't have to make it to the moon by Ymae (28k, 7 chapters, gen/thoschei) summary: After New Year's, Ryan decides to stay traveling in the TARDIS for another little while. Only, the Doctor's rarely alright, and between experiencing the wonders of the universe, Ryan wants to figure out what's happening to his friend, too. //I love Ryan so much. He's such a wonderful character and I always love it when fics focus on him, or have him as the pov character. Unfortunately, fics like that are a bit few and far between, but this is one of them, and it's absolutely fantastic. It really delves into his character, but also his dynamic with the Doctor (especially after he talks to her in ROTD and she admits that she's scared and angry), and it's just auuuuuuugh so good!! And, it's also go some great whump and psychic content, with the Master showing up to cause trouble, alongside some gorgeous world-building, so I enjoy it very very much.

Ghost War by riptheh (25k, 1 chapter, gen) summary: All the Doctor wants to do is pass the time, and help a friendly face. So when a young man with a strange tattoo and a psychic wound shows up, she dives right into the mystery - and finds herself flung far into the future, mindwiped and alone, fighting a war that by all rights, shouldn't exist at all. A war she could help end, if only she could figure out who she is. //Oof, this one. It's absolutely stunning. This author really has a way of taking some absolutely fascinating and mind-bending concepts and just running with it, and just nails it each time. I feel like the less I say about the plot of this one, the better, because it sort of unfolds as you go, but please just trust me when I say that it's absolutely fantastic.

Lifelines by Sue_Denham (40k, 11 chapters, gen, wip) summary: Lifeline: a thing on which someone or something depends, or which provides a means of escape from a difficult situation. Set just after the events of Spyfall, the Doctor has a few things to work through. //Okay this fic is one of my favourites that's been posting over the last year or so - it's a brilliant exploration of Graham and Thirteen, and how different races deal with loss, guilt and death. I honestly think the best kind of sci fi takes concepts that we sort of take for granted, and then shows them in a completely new light. That's what this fic does. Also, Graham is just wonderful for the entire thing - though, as a note, Yaz and Ryan do end up somewhat side-lined, so bear that in mind if you're particularly looking for fics about those two, but I forgive it because it's such a great look at Graham and the Doctor. It feels like a character focused tie-in novel, y'know? Also it's pretty angsty in places, naturally, but that's what I'm here for haha.

Disordered by Echo (44k, 7 chapters, jack/13) summary: Messing with memories is always a risky business. Messing with your own memories, now that's just asking for trouble. The Doctor is very good at asking for trouble. And Jack is very good at finding it. //Ohhhhh okay so. This has been one of my absolute favourite Doctor Who fics for a long while. Definitely the shippiest of this list, but it's so lovely and such an excellent look at the Doctor facing the consequences of trying to get back her Division memories in the aftermath of s12, as well as the relationship between the Doctor and Jack across multiple regenerations. It's just so so good, flowing smoothly from very angsty to very soft, and the Doctor and Jack's voices are just spot on (especially considering that we see different versions of the Doctor, this is a particularly impressive note). Highly recommend!

The Trial of the Doctor by wreckageofstars (20k, 5 chapters, gen/thasmin, wip) summary: Haven is a planet at the edge of time, on the brink of destruction. Ravaged by the Time Lords and a war that time forgot, its people are desperate for justice before it’s too late, and the Doctor might be the only being left in the universe who can provide it — because she was the one who started it. So why can't she remember doing it? //Okay okay so, this one has only recently started posting but I've known about it since about 2020 and ohhhhhhhhhhh my goodness, GUYS. If you're not following this one, you need to be. It's a mix between Doctor Who at it's finest, Kafka at it's most unsettling, and Douglas Adams at it's most absurd, and it's delightful. There's so much in this one, and as always this author is just spot on with all the characterisation - especially Thirteen, who suddenly finds herself being prosecuted for a crime that she can't remember, and is forced into a situation where she's physically incapable of telling a lie. It. Is. Marvellous. Also there's a cockroach lawyer, whom I adore HAHA

lighthouse keeper by BlueLillyBlue (57k, 12 chapters, gen) summary: The Doctor is missing, and the fam is concerned. Featuring Yaz being a badass, Ryan being a cutie, Graham being a granddad, Jack being Jack, and the Doctor's complicated moral code. Also: space prisons, galactic war, the Doctor's time war trauma, the Doctor caring about people in her own weird and repressive way, and, most importantly, Thirteen wearing Jack's coat. //Oh, this one is such a favourite of mine. It's very angsty, so if that's not your schtick then - well, then you're kinda scuppered for all of my recs, to be honest, but this one is a bit on the dark side. Oh, but it's fantastic. Again, this one feels like a tie-in novel, and this author (as I think I've said before) is just incredible at crafting these very vivid worlds and really hard-hitting stories. The situation is pretty dire and desperate, and the Doctor is often faced with the fact that not every plan works out, and sometimes the only choices are bad ones. It's just really excellent guys (also! Thirteen in Jack's coat!!)

angel ellipsis by SleepyMaddy (36k, 8 chapters, gen/thoschei) summary: When the Doctor and Yaz find a planet in ruins, they’re only half surprised to discover the Master is responsible. But when his plan backfires, suddenly they have no choice but to work with him to stop his former allies from tearing the universe apart. It goes about as well as one might expect. //OKAY SO. This one is SO much fun and SO great - in particular, if you like the Master being a tricky bastard, but also getting screwed over by his own plans? You'll love this one. Everything about it is so vibrant and brilliant, and aaaaaahh man it all comes together in such a satisfying way. As with many of the authors on this list, this author just really gets these characters and how they tick, with some absolutely beautiful prose, and it's just such a joy to read.

nothing in the dark that isn't there in the light by river_of_words (6k, 1 chapter, thasmin) summary: Two weeks since Yaz got the most confusing rejection she ever hopes to get and the Doctor seems to have decided to blame Yaz for every single one of her furiously conflicting emotions. At this point she’s sort of asking to get hit. And at this point Yaz is sort of curious to find out what the Doctor is going to say that’s going to make her meet that request. //These next two fics are a lot shorter compared to the others, but I really wanted to include both of them because they're great and SO interesting to me. With this one, it digs into the Doctor and Yaz's relationship in the aftermath of LOTSD, and the ways that the Doctor does not actually talk about anything but does also tell Yaz more than anyone else. It's about the frustration that builds between them and the way that they're still finding more comfort in each other than anyone else. It's also a little feral, which as a thoschei shipper, definitely had a lot to do with why I liked this one haha. Anyway, it's really fantastic - really quick paced and emotional, and packing a LOT of punches with mostly dialogue in a very effective way. Go read it!

we'll do it right by daring_elm (3k, 1 chapter, gen) summary: She's never really noticed Yaz's perfume before. Shoulders relaxing, nausea subsiding, the Doctor inhales again, filling her lungs with jasmine and sandalwood, steel and glowing crystals and her box out of time. She can be back with Yaz within minutes of her leaving. She can save the child, change the foundation of Gallifrey and still return to have a picnic on Soria T4.  //Okay so I loooove love love this one because I just adore it any time someone explores the Doctor's reaction to the Timeless Child stuff after the fact, and this one is just so wonderful. The characterisation is just fantastic, and then just the progressive spiral of the plot as we follow the Doctor on a mission that is doomed to fail by the nature of her own timeline. It's about how by trying to change the past, all you do is mess up your present and your future, and I love that a lot. Augh, it's a gut punch and a half - highly recommended!

[wisteriasymphony]

⭐

(This was going to be its own post but I started talking about my plans for Felix&Adrien in TWEOS and it seemed like the right thing to share for one of these haha)

Felix and Adrien.

Spitting images of the Graham de Vanily twins, thereby nearly identical to the other. Horribly different in every other way. Where Felix takes Amelie’s tendencies to follow given authority, Adrien takes Emilie’s tendencies to rebel. Where Felix has been relatively obscure outside of his place in high society, Adrien is an international celebrity. And… when Adrien begins to fall short of his father’s expectations, Felix arrives to pick up the slack.

The way their dynamic changes is very similar to the way the Adrigami dynamic, due to the shift in Adrien’s personality—Adrien is now the one who refuses to accept what he’s been given, Adrien is now the dramatic and sometimes even manipulative one. To keep them as opposing forces, Felix becomes more of a jealous snob, and his introduction into the story is to not only eventually show what Adrien has gone through under Gabriel’s control as it happens all over again now with Felix, but to exemplify the qualities that Adrien lacks (sycophantry, the willingness to accept his fate as a commodity, etc). (Of course, it’s also important to highlight that Felix sees Adrien’s previously stated “refusal to accept what he’s been given” as ungratefulness, and Felix’s identity theft is because he sees Adrien’s ungratefulness as proof he is ‘unworthy’ of the fame and fortune being Adrien Agreste has given him. So, again, they’re both deeply aware of the ways the other is better than them and this drives most of their conflict. Because I love that specific conflict teehee.)

So! Question of the hour: How is this going to absolutely blow up in Adrien's face?

I need to have Adrien start a fight with Felix that he knows he's going to lose. Maybe it's because Felix made another snide comment to Adrien under his breath, maybe it's just out of a previous unacknowledged pent-up anger that his cousin so easily overtook his father's favor and Adrien knowing that Felix is clearly getting all this preferential treatment only because Gabriel wants to punish his disobedience.

So Felix (lean, athletic, disciplined) is matched up against Adrien (underfed, bookish, scrawny), but in the heat of the moment Adrien believes he has enough muscle memory of fighting as Chat Noir that he'll be able to pull through. ...He still gets his ass handed to him.

It's important, of course, that this would take place after the incident where Gabriel injured Adrien's nose. Not only would Felix causing Adrien's nose to bleed again during the fight be neat on its own, but it works to reinforce the idea that Felix is, for all intents and purposes, on Gabriel's side. He literally reopens old (..fresh?) wounds for Adrien during the altercation, just like how his presence as “the replacement” is a constant reminded to Adrien of his supposed inferiority. 

....That's all I'll say on it for now, though. Sorry if this is rambly oops.

[shegatsby]

Heyy! Its me again haha. I really wanted to thank you, this turned out really good!♡

I also have another idea..

Okay so reader is Will's cousin and they are visiting Will, Hannibal doesn't know and decides to pay Will a visit but he's currently at the store so he starts talking with the reader and they find out they have much in common like being fans of arts, opera and cooking.. and then reader says they are applying for a job in Baltimore as maybe an arts teach or smth. And 5 to 6 months after that reader meets Hannibal again in a museum of arts, they again start talking and catching up, exchanging numbers and staying in contact for awhile until Hannibal gets 'captured' and then of course everything that happens after that, Hannibal tries contacting reader in that time but it seems as reader blocked him.. and then I thought that maybe it would be like after the fall that Hannibal finally gets in contact with reader and they finally start building a romantic relationship!^^

So yeah thats my idea. I really hope you like this idea and can make something of it. Your writing is like honestly amazing and I would be really excited if you would do this considering the other one was so well made.. I wish you a wonderful late new year and to everyone else aswell! <3

A/N; I cannot believe I've finished this while listening to Justin Bieber -Maria lol Sorry its a bit long but i really enjoyed writing it. Also thank you for your kind words, i'm here to serve the fandom. <3 sorry for any typos since English isn't my native language. Oh, i hope you'll have an amazing year and i hope you'll heal from your past wounds.

words; 2.607K

warnings; mention of cirme, thats it. its safe kiddos.

You had to walk into the store in order to get warm and also buy groceries for your dear cousin. Will Graham. You were visiting him for a week and he asked you to cook your famous stew, in cold days like this a warm stew would cheer anyone up, so after breakfast you decided to get dressed and go to the store while Will was making cookies for his guest. You didn’t know who the guest was but he said he wanted you two to meet. You only nodded and left the house. Inside was warm, and smelled nice, you loved grocery shopping and cooking for people. It was your way of showing your affection towards beloved ones. You were in the wine section, decided to make some hot wine. As you were trying to reach to the top shelf you heard a calm yet dominant voice saying ‘’Allow me.’’ And on your peripheral vision you saw a man’s hand reaching for the wine you wanted. ‘’Here you go.’’ You turned to face the owner of that deep voice, ‘’Thank you.’’ You managed to say, observing his maroon orbits. Such a distinct color, you thought. ‘’Elegant choice. Most people don’t go for that brand.’’ He announced, Doctor Hannibal Lecter never made small conversations with people he didn’t know but when he noticed that this person knew a good quality wine he just wanted to chat. ‘’I’m making hot wine for today. This one is the best for that.’’ You said smiling, he smiled back. ‘’What is your go to choice?’’ he had this strange aura that made you want to talk to him, normally you would smile and say goodbye but he intrigued you to your core. ‘’If I’m visiting a close friend I pick this one, which that’s what I’m doing today.’’ You looked at the brand he was holding, ‘’I always admired the painting on that bottle. Such baroque colors.’’ He raised an eyebrow to your statement, ‘’I assume you’re interested in art?’’

‘’Always have been. Actually once the paper work is done I’ll start working in Baltimore with painters. They opened a studio and asked if I could work with them.’’ That’s when Hannibal noticed the small and dry paint residue on your dominant hand. ‘’I live in Baltimore and I hope to see your paintings one day at an art gallery. Good luck.’’ He smiled a warm smile which reminded you the sunset in winter, it gave you hope for the future.

‘’Thank you so much.’’ You said and you both walked to your separate ways. However, fate had its own webs to arbitrate in your behalf.

Once you reached to your cousin’s home you saw a car on the front yard, apparently his guest have arrived. You climbed the porch and used the spare key Will gave you. You could hear two man talking about a murder case, you knew what your cousin’s job was and he was so passionate about it that every week he would call you and tell you about a new case. In the entire family he chose you as his special blood connection. You two have always been considered as outlaws, or ‘’the freaks’’ and this made you more close to one another. ‘’I’m home.’’ You announced to let them know, just in case if they were talking secret FBI files. ‘’Come in Y/N.’’ you heard your cousin say with enthusiasm. You quickly left the bags on the kitchen counter and washed your hands, you had slightly cleaning obsession which Will never forgot to point it out. ‘’Hi!’’ you wore your warmest smile and walked into the living room which was at the back of the house and it had a door that opened to the back yard.

As soon as you walked in you saw that man from the store, sitting on the single armchair, holding a coffee mug in his large hand. You froze in your steps, watched him stand up, fix his clothes subtly and extend his hand towards you, ‘’What a lovely coincidence. Doctor Hannibal Lecter.’’ You took his hand, it was warm and manly, ‘’Y/N Y/L/N.’’ Will was puzzled but you explained to him quickly.

That night you asked him to stay longer and he helped you coking the stew and making the hot wine. 3 of you talked and explored new ideas about their cases, they were really keen on getting a fresh perspective from you about their recent case.

It had been months since that strange coincidence, since that you were working in that studio you mentioned to him and rented a small apartment for yourself and your cat. Things were going pretty smoothly and for the first time you and your team had an opening at the Baltimore Museum of Arts, it was an important night for you and you dressed up accordingly. Elegant yet showing your curves in a subtle way. A black velvet dress that was above the knee, black high heels, a fresh blow out, red lips and red nails. You felt like a goddess and walked like one as well. The event started at 8 pm, you were there with your colleges making sure everything was ready.

You were nervous so your colleagues greeted the guests who were mostly middle aged white people, you didn’t mind, since no one knew your face you could stand behind guests and listen their criticism about your work. It was fun, drinking your champagne and listening to rich folk who knew nothing about art making assumptions, some wondered about the artist but you were safe. You were standing right next to them and they didn’t know who you were. You had no idea about what was going to happen that night and that excited you deeply.

‘’Hello Y/N.’’ someone addressed you directly, for some reason you felt like a deer caught in the red lights. You turned to face the owner of that dominant voice, it was him. You almost dropped the empty champagne glass you were holding, he had a smirk on his plump lips. He grabbed your empty glass, a waiter was near you two so he gave the empty glasses to him got new ones, ‘’May I say you look ravishing tonight.’’ His comment made you feel the heat rising to your cheeks, ‘’Thank you, it’s been a while. How are you?’’ and you started catching up, he asked which one of the paintings were yours and you pointed, he looked at them for a while without saying anything, he seemed as if he was calculating something in his marvelous brain of his. Soon you were surrounded by his colleagues, he kept you by his side, ‘’I’m sure you would be delighted to know that those magnificent paintings were created by none other than this woman who is standing next to me.’’ He announced when his colleagues mentioned how much they liked your paintings, you were shocked that he revealed you to them like this, he seemed proud to have you to himself, the crowed started to compliment you all you could say ‘’Thank you, thank you so much..’’ you weren’t used to having the spot light. You could feel his large hand on the small of your back, not moving up or down, staying put. You felt like he was showing you off, but why?

When the night came to an end all of your paintings were sold, the owner would be revealed in a few days and you decided to send him or her a thank you note. Hannibal asked you for your phone number to keep in touch, he offered to drive you home also, you didn’t refuse because it was cold outside. As you left the building together you noticed his elite acquaintances raised eyebrows and questionable eyes, you didn’t care. You gave him the directions, it was snowing outside softly, when he reached to the parking lot of your apartment complex, he parked the car. You had a strange feeling that you didn’t want this night to come to an end, you noticed his slowness, maybe he felt the same way? You watched him opening his mouth to say something and then closing it. ‘’Would you like a glass of hot wine.. since it is really cold it could warm us.’’ You abruptly suggested, ‘’I would love to.’’ Was there a hint of excitement in his dominant voice? You didn’t want to jump into conclusions, he was older than you and seemed like a serious man, why would he want to have deeper connection with you? He had multiple beautiful people in his circle to entertain him… you decided that you two were in the right place in the right time and also Will Graham being your cousin made you two share a simple connection, that was it.

Thankfully your flat was organized and clean, he appreciated that mentally. He, deep down, was checking his long list ever since he met you, no one knew but Hannibal would like to share his luxurious life with someone and he had a long list, and whenever he met someone knew he would see if that person could tick all of the things in his list, you were doing great so far.

After making the hot wine you found yourself laughing at Hannibal’s stories with Will, you left your high heels on the floor, sitting on the couch whereas Hannibal was sitting on the armchair, sleeves rolled up, his tie was loose, legs wide open, holding his empty wine glass, you found yourself admiring his posture, he sat like a Greek statue, carved by the most talented sculptor of all time. He noticed your lingering shiny eyes on his body, he even liked it,

‘’Being desired by someone is perhaps the closest anybody in this life can reach to feeling immortal.’’

He said, his voice sounding like a prayer, divine and his eyes on yours… he slowly stood up, placed the empty glass on the coffee table, you could see the veins on his hand. He turned to you and got your glass as well, placed it next to his. His thick fingers went to your chin, lifting your face up to meet his. His orbs got darkened, he leaned in, you could feel his rich perfume, filling your nostrils. He whispered, ‘’I would like to have you for dinner, see you soon little dove.’’ and he left.

Of course he wanted to kiss you, ravish your body and leave marks on you, claiming his territory but there was still time for that. He was an old fashioned man and he didn’t have time for superficial things, he wanted this to be right. Before he let you speak he wore his shoes and left your flat and left you speechless.

After few days you got a phone call, Hannibal invited you for dinner at his house. What happened at your house few days ago troubled the depths of your mind every single day. He seemed like he was interested in you but you weren’t sure.

You knew he was interested in etiquette, aesthetics, so you wore slightly formal clothing. A black pencil skirt, beige blouse and high heels, soft make up and you were done.

When he answered the door his face light up to see you looking divine, ‘’Please come in. I have surprise to show you.’’ He announced.

He held your hand and walked you to the upstairs, ‘’This is my study room.’’ He announced before he opened the dark wooden door, inside was lit with yellow lights, he was right it was his study room. The detail was that the walls held your paintings… he was the one who bought your paintings, all of them.. ‘’Rest are in my office, my clients love them.’’ He said smiling to you, ‘’Hannibal… I don’t know what to say….’’ You were overwhelmed with emotions. ‘’I really like your work and I want you to follow your dreams.’’ You turned to look him in his maroon orbits, you didn’t have to say anything, your eyes did the talking.

After that you kept seeing each other, his work and also yours made it hard but whenever you had time you spent time with him. Bringing lunch to his office or Hannibal sending your studio presents. However, these last week you heard nothing from him, he wasn’t answering his phone, he wasn’t at his office, when you finally went to his home he wasn’t there, but his car was there… finally you called your cousin Will and he didn’t tell you much except Hannibal was involved with some crime and he disappeared. You couldn’t believe your ears, you did your research, he was all over the news but deep down you didn’t want to believe it. Also the news weren’t clear about his crimes…

Weeks passed without any news from him, you spent your days at the studio and you noticed how dark your paintings got… when you were with him you were blooming but now you felt as if life dropped you of somewhere and you are watching everyone live, except you. Your life got stale.

One day your paintings were accepted by an Italian art exhibition but you also had to be there as well, so packed your things and left Baltimore. Will also encouraged you to do it, he knew how depressed you got after Hannibal’s departure.

Italy was a dream, a dream you were glad to live it, the warmth, food and art made you feel like in a Disney movie but a part of you secretly wishing to experience this with a particular gentleman. You didn’t know your prayers were going to be answered.

The night of the exhibition you got a phone call, unknown number. You answered, ‘’Hello?’’ at first there wasn’t a voice, you were about to hang up but you heard him, ‘’I’m so proud of you Y/N.’’

Your heart dropped to your stomach, it was him. Hannibal.

‘’Hannibal? Where are you? What happ-‘’ he stopped you, ‘’Not on the phone, I’ll see you after the exhibition. Wait for me at the back.’’

The night felt like an eternity, when finally you were free you literally ran to the back of the building and there he was, on his motorbike, he looked so different yet familiar at the same time. ‘’Hop on princess.’’ He made you wear a helmet and together you rode. He took you to a villa, it was his new home.

You didn’t say anything until he brought you inside, as soon as he turned to face you to speak you slapped him, ‘’How dare you leave without a single note? I’ve been worried sick!’’

Hannibal was baffled to see this fierce side of you and he liked it. He kissed you. His plump lips made you feel at peace. Kiss got heated due to the fact that both of you had sexual tension for each other so long that now you were a volcano exploding. His hands went to your waist and pulled you roughly to him, his body felt like a rock, so firm. When you pulled away you were on his couch, on top of him, ‘’Is it true?’’ you asked out of breath, ‘’What?’’ he asked to buy some time. ‘’All they say about you.. are you a criminal?’’ you asked with hesitation. He had a smug smile, ‘’Does it matter?’’ his cockiness and confidence made it hard for you to be realistic but you figured as long as you two were together nothing could harm you. You kissed him passionately.

Thank you for reading.

[90sbee]

The patrol is over

Leon S. Kennedy x Ashley Graham

2k words. Also on ao3

As Leon and Ashley await for the helicopter to take them to safety, Leon is slowly spiralling, full of concern still. It is then that a ghost from his past decides to visit him.

What can I say, I had this idea already and then I saw Leshley Week... It was like the perfect excuse to write and post this one. Also this fic is quite silly but, hey, I love writing Leon's pov. Also @lightning-hawke is a sweetheart and she made sure that this was readable. Everybody please thank you to this brave soldier who had to face my 3am delusional writing.

Content: All Leon's pov, angsty and sad but also. Cathartic. Ash is asleep the whole time cos baby needed a nap after all that. Spooning, protective!Leon.

Warnings: Hallucinations, anxiety. Mention of guns, knives, zombies. Sleep deprivation. And I think that's it? Yeah, this is actually SFW, for once, haha.

It’s been three hours. Maybe four. Perhaps five.

Leon can’t sleep. He has tried it, though, but his body is still running on adrenaline and anxiety and he doubts that he will actually get some rest today.

Whatever. He has had it worse.

Ashley is passed out on the bed, curled up into herself, softly snoring. Leon blinks, trying to keep his eyes open. Even if his body is exhausted, his mind is still rushing through all the different scenarios in which this could still go wrong, heart rattling inside his chest.

What if Luis was wrong? What if the Plagas is still inside them? What if he ends up falling asleep, body going slump on this old chair and when he wakes up, he has hurt her?

God. Such idea gives him goosebumps, and he sits even farther from the bed.

What if instead, it is her? What if Ashley opens her eyes and tries to attack him?

Leon eyes the knife on the nightstand, the guns on the floor.

He knows he wouldn’t use any weapon against her, anyway. But if she hurt anyone, he’d be responsible.

God. Fuck responsibilities and guilt. It would’ve meant he had failed.

His blood runs cold then.

A failure. Assigned on what was, probably, the most important mission in his life. The president’s daughter involved, and what was supposed to be one of the top agents in the country, ruining everything. Returning a shadow of a woman, a timebomb.

Leon hides his face in his hands for a while, trying to catch his breath.

He knows he is spiralling.

He has to keep some faith: faith in Ashley, faith in Luis.

In himself, even if he is not used to it.

He looks at her, pursing his lips.

She breathes so calmly. Expression soft, features finally having some well-deserved rest. She is so gorgeous too. A soul too kind for him. He feels guilty for refusing to accept her proposal, though he is aware that being her bodyguard would have never actually been possible.

He blushes slightly, knowing that she at least wanted his company for a little longer. Maybe he is not so useless after all. She had also asked him to hold her to sleep, but he had simply shaken his head. “You’ll be fine, I promise. You’ll probably have a better rest taking up the whole bed”.

He sighs, crossing his arms. Leon is not sure how long it will take until the helicopter arrives. He hopes it is soon, because his head hurts and he feels hungry but he can’t leave her side and he definitely doesn’t trust the police officers next door.

No, scratch that.

He wishes the helicopter never arrives.

Because that means it is all over.

His gaze softens as he looks at her, feeling his heart pulling at its strings. For a moment, he considers it. A life with her. Visiting her at the White House. Maybe indeed fighting to accept the bodyguard position, his hand on her back as he keeps her safe once more, the sound of her laugh. The idea of getting acquainted with her shampoo brand, learning her favourite colour, kissing her forehead.

He is spiralling again, but this time in a more dangerous direction. Leon cracks his knuckles, yawning.

There is no point into wasting time thinking of all this. He can’t afford to lose footing in reality. And the reality is forcing him to remember that only a few hours they had both been fighting a Plagas, and he can’t be completely sure that the coast is clear. The mission isn’t over until she is back home, until they both reach American ground.

His foot starts hitting the floor quickly, as his headache gets even worse. He has to keep himself awake, he can’t lose focus.

At any given point Ashley could wake up and look at him with those soft doe eyes and ask anything, anything from him and, god, he’d give her the world, but first… But first he has to make sure that they’re both safe.

She’s make him feel like a worthy prince.

He can’t lose the princess for being careless.

He feels thirsty but he doesn’t even want to move his eyes away from her. His heart picks up when he thinks her chest stops moving up and down, but he realises it is his mind playing tricks on him as she sighs again.

Fuck. He is really losing his shit. He’s been trained for this crap. He barely sleeps anyway.

He curses in a whisper and looks down, grabs the water bottle next to his foot and sits down again.

That’s when he notices there is someone else in the room.

How? How would that be possible? There is no fucking way. It takes him just a second to fucking comprehend what is going on, but in an instant he has his knife on his fist, standing up as he approaches the figure, ready to attack the stranger.

The knife doesn’t hit anything.

Leon stills his movements then, realising that he recognises the face in front of him: the dirty-bloodied uniform, the stupid toothy smile, the look of hope in his eyes.

It’s him. The ghost of his younger version, the one from Raccoon City, stands before him.

“Fuck off,” Leon groans. He knows now that he is hallucinating. “Go away,” he pleads, in a growl, sitting down once more. His fucking head feels like about to explode.

“Buddy, I don’t think I’m going anywhere,” answers the more excitedly voice.

Leon considers replying, but he doesn’t want to wake Ashley up. The poor thing has already gone through too much, the least she needs at the moment is the man that is supposed to keep her safe having a full-on discussion with himself.

Fucking insane. He hides his face in his hands.

It’s not the first time it’s happened, that’s for sure. He’s gone through it all: hallucinations for being sleep-deprived, sleep paralysis after the most excruciating missions.

Most of the times it’s not even monsters, or zombies. Most times it’s people he knew: Annette, Ada a couple of times too. Last time it was Marvin, his body bloody and his eyes white as he swears he could hear his cries of pain still.

He wonders if maybe Luis will join as well, sometime, another painful reminder of his failures.

But himself? This was new.

“What the fuck do you want?” he mumbles. It Is stupid, Leon knows that. But perhaps by talking to this ghost of himself he could get rid of it faster, make sure he can go back to guard Ashley.

“Heh, I think it is obvious what you want,” the high-pitched voice replies. Leon looks up a moment, seeing the rookie sitting on the floor next to the bed, pointing at Ashley.

“Very funny,” Leon groans.

“What? Are you gonna deny it? I’m literally you.”

“Just, shut up.”

Surprisingly, that works. When Leon looks up once more, the figure isn’t there. He yawns, rubbing his temple. Maybe he is gone, for real. Maybe his mind will stop playing tricks on him now. He resumes his watch, his whole attention directed towards Ashley.

He is not even sure what time it is now, but he hopes it won’t be too long. At this point, he is being more of a nuisance than an actual help, a real protection for her. He knows he will have to sleep soon.

Not yet, though. Not fucking yet. He has to fucking hold on, try to keep it together.

“Hey, maybe you should get some actual sleep,” the voice suddenly interrupts him, now coming from next to him.

Leon almost stumbles from his chair, heart racing.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” he half-shouts, and immediately purses his lips, embarrassed.

The rookie, the fucking rookie, sitting down next to him.

“Sorry, just trying to help,” he mumbles.

Leon shakes his head. He doesn’t want to say anything else. He is sure he almost woke Ashley up. He decides to acknowledge this presence, since it is becoming quite clear that it is not leaving for now.

“What do you want? Don’t fucking say Ashley, I swear to God,” he whispers, ashamed.

“Well, you’re the one that should know that. Your brain is literally hallucinating me at this point.”

“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. I can’t sleep yet,” he replies, crossing his arm as he stands up, trying to walk around the room a little, forcing his body not to pass out.

“You look incredibly nervous, dude,” his younger version chuckles, seemingly amused.

“I’m not.”

“Why are you walking around, then?”

“Well, someone has to make sure the president’s daughter doesn’t die on my watch. I’d say that’s some pretty big responsibility,” his heart is about to get out of his chest, and he is sweating.

The headache is now deeper, more annoying.

“She is safe now, Jesus Christ. Give yourself some credit, man.”

“She is not,” Leon suddenly replies.

“She is. Don’t you trust Luis? Do you think he would have lied to you?”

That does stop him in his tracks. Perhaps the rookie has a point. Leon nods, slowly. In the darkness of the room, he looks at his arms. The veins are normal still. He hasn’t had any weird visions since they got the Plagas expelled.

Well, except for the unpleasant vision that his own mind conjures. Maybe even more annoying than Lord Saddler’s ones.

He doesn’t acknowledge the rookie, though, but he comes back to sit on the chair.

“How many hours has it been now?” this ghost insists.

“I dunno.”

“You do know.”

God. He didn’t remember his younger voice being that annoying. Leon inhales, trying to calm himself down.

“Five hours,” he replies after a moment.

“If any of you were still infected, don’t you think the Plagas would have acted up by now? Also, Lord Saddled is dead now. There is no one controlling the Plagas now. All the Ganado died, remember?”

Leon hates that the little kid is right.

“I guess that’s true,” Leon admits.

The rookie laughs.

“She is fine. You don’t need to keep watching over her like a creep. I mean, not that we are being creepy…”

Leon interrupts himself: “Just go to the point, man”.

The rookie looks up at him, glittering eyes full of hope and a gentle small on his face.

“Look, I thought I was the rookie here, but you’re being a whole amateur now,” he stands up, in silence. “The patrol is over, rookie”.

Leon looks at himself. That shadow of himself, too full of hope and of light. He blinks, still processing the rookie’s words… His own words, echoing from and inside his head.

The patrol is over.

Fuck.

He slumps on the chair, eyes welling up with tears. For a moment, he lets himself cry in silence, under the soft sound of Ashley’s breathing. He breaks down a little, feels pity for himself, as well as relief. He dries off his tears with his palm, trying not to be too much of a mess in case she wakes up. He should be strong still. He needs to be.

By now, the headache is unbearable and his eyes hurt, a combination of exhaustion and the tears. But he knows it’s true: they’re both safe. He saved her. Ashley is safe. And even if he can’t have her, if this story ends in a few hours, he can still breathe without regrets. He can even make sure that their last memories together are something pleasant, something nice and comforting.

Leon tries to calm his breathing. He looks up, still curious as to whether the old presence is still there, but not anymore.

No more ghosts in the room. Just Ashley and him now.

With heavy steps he moves towards the bed, dizzy by now. He lies down on the bed and allows himself to breathe against Ashley’s shoulder, timidly holding her from behind. He grips her body close to his, knowing this is the only and last time he’ll have this chance. And even if she is half-asleep, Ashley sighs, content on her sleep, as Leon closes his eyes, finally allowing himself to rest.

The patrol is over and so is their story. But for a while, they can still lie close together, in the dark. Both finally safe, at last.

My brain actually wanted to be mean and make it Marvin instead of Rookie Leon but you know what. I don't need to break my heart like that SO much. Let Leon be angry at himself, it's fun, lol.

[akascow]

happy spooky szn

heres all my horror/thriller ooak dolls made this year >:)

plus a lil retrospective for each under the cut :)

Peter Graham (Hereditary)- my fave of all of them :3 hes so cutie patootie i love him the hair and the faceup just came toegther so well eugh

Freddy Kreuger (Nightmare on Elm Street)- LOVE HER i was kinda iffy on the dress when making it BUT I LOVE HOW IT TURNED OUT, and not to toot my own horn BUT the skin !! fucking so good

Adam Stanheight (Saw)- first one i actually tried at HAHA i love the mullet (it used to look better idk what happened to it lmfao) and the pants and the shirt and the accessories, theyre my wet lil cat

Grace Le Domas (Ready or Not)- my most recent one :) the dress is just a clusterfuck of materials but it keeps the vibe. u cant tell from the pic but the hair actually looks rlly close to her hair in the movie if i do say so myself, also i literally color stained her dress with dirty paint water HAHA

Amanda Young (Saw)- kinda skimpy on details but i think it looks like her pretty well idk. if i was good at crafting i would actually make a rbt but alas

Patrick Bateman (American Psycho)- kinda hate her i think its the hair but u can only make so many mullets before losing ur mind so its wtvr

Red (Us)- first doll outfit i tried to make from scratch and u can tell HAHA i think i redid the face like 3 times HAHA also i colored the hair with copious amounts of eyeshadow and hairspray lmfaooo. the coolest part imo are the scissors im actually surprised i found that online

Bent Neck Lady (Haunting of Hill House)- u cant tell but the body details are so cool to me it kinda follows the molded and torn pattern of all the hill house ghosts, not a fan of the face but it was when i was still doing more stylized faceups as opposed to trying to stick to more realistic lol

Stu Macher (Scream)- redid their face like 3 times and it still doesnt look like matthew lillard so it makes me angry to look at HAHA id probably like it better if i did better on the robe but oh well lmao

[tigirl-and-co]

Middle-Aged Man (But Not a Dad (Probably))

Heyooooo, back at it again with a super rough draft for a fic!

inspired by @dballzposting but especially THIS post!

Basic plot summary is Trunks accidentally imprinted on Yamcha like a baby bird but is too emotionally stunted from growing up with the least familial family in all of classic anime to realize that he's being weird as hell about it.

To nobody's surprise, it's a character study! Woohoo!

And before we begin, I wrote almost all of this while dead tired, so it's probably even rougher than my usual rough drafts, but good god I wanted to write this sooooo bad.

Obsession ran on both sides of his family. This was an issue for Trunks, as he'd really fucking rather be thinking about quite literally anything else. But here he was, at the get-together-slash-party-slash-ritual-to-appease-a-big-purple-cat-with-food-so-we-don't-get-blown-up, staring at his mom's ex from the other side of the dessert table.

And praying said ex wouldn't look up from the eclairs he'd never be able to afford otherwise and see Trunks' stupid, stupid eyes staring at him.

But he did.

Fuck.

"Hey, Champ! How've ya been, Buddy?" Yamcha said, in his stupid fucking aging dudebro voice that filled Trunks with an overwhelming sensation of warmth and comfort. He hated it. Yamcha smiled at him the way, Trunks thought, a dad smiles at his somewhat estranged son.

It was probably a kinder smile than his real dad gave when he hugged him for the first time. Not that Trunks would know. Couldn't really see Vegeta's face, too busy experiencing every emotion he could name and also being shoved against Vegeta's inhuman, statuesque form.

It fucking felt like being shoved face-first into a statue, too.

Not like Yamcha probably felt, with his all-too-human physique. There was a softness that covered his features, even though he was still as tough and muscular as ever.

He kinda reminded Trunks of the big blue guy from Monsters Inc. But like, less serious. And very slightly less hairy.

Trunks had been staring too long, but apparently Yamcha was willing to write off the icy glare as a genetic thing and not an actual threat, because he approached the teen with no hint of trepidation.

He stood in front of Trunks and hucked a thumb at the spread of confections behind him. "Yo, you tried the weird cream cake thing? The one covered in chocolate? No idea what it is, but it is good!"

Trunks tried desperately to claw himself out of this conversation with "It's called an eclair cake." He wasn't sure whether or not he had meant to sound that gruff. Either way he sounded too much like his dad, and it pissed him off more.

"Yo, what? They can make eclairs into cake? That's crazy!" Yamcha took pause and then nearly busted his gut, laughing a bit too loud like guys that age tend to do. "But I guess when you're rich, you can pay people to cook up just about anything!"

There! An opening! Trunks knew how to win this conversation and then make his getaway!

"Actually, Yamcha, I think it's just graham crackers, pudding, and chocolate. Pretty simple recipe. I can ask the cooks to give it to you."

Yamcha blinked. "R-Really? That's it?" He sighed. "Well, as much as I'd love to eat cake all day, I really shouldn't." He slapped his gut, which jiggled slightly. "I'm at that age where I've gotta start watching what I eat or I won't be in any shape to show off to the ladies, haha!"

Trunks immediately threw his gaze to his shoes. He fucking lost that interaction, and now he'd have to talk to Yamcha for however long the older man could stand him. Fuck. Well, Trunks knew how conversations worked. He'd seen the guys at Kame House get into it sometimes, and since Trunks was no longer a child, he figured he should talk like that. The ball was in his court.

"Ladies, huh? What... sort of ladies are you into?"

Fuckin' killed it.

~~~

Now it was Yamcha's turn to be cornered. Was it okay to be talking about that kind of stuff with a kid? With someone else's kid? With the kid of somebody he dated?

But he couldn't just say that! Trunks was at the age where he was starting to go after the ladies himself, and Yamcha didn't want to discourage that! He had to find a middle ground, hopefully there was an avenue in this conversation that wouldn't lead to either of Trunks' parents hitting his head clean off his shoulders.

"Um. Your-" NONONONO CAN'T MENTION BULMA. "I m-mean, I like women who..." and how is he supposed to word this? Obviously he's not gonna say 'pretty women' because that would sound so damn shallow, coming from him. "I like. When girls. Can stand on their own... but enjoy having someone around to make their lives easier? I guess?"

He ran his hands through the hair on the back of his head. "To be honest, kid, I'm not really sure anymore! The more I think about it, the more I realize that sometimes people you think should work don't, but the real crazy shi- the real crazy stuff ends up better." Yamcha laughed the kind of shitty laugh you let out when you're nervous and stalling for time. "What about you, Trunks? You a ladies' man? Got a preference?"

~~~

Well, Trunks had been expecting an answer like 'I like redheads' or 'I'm a boob guy' so he was a little unsure of his next move, but he had to think of something to say!

"Um idk there's this one YouTuber I like." Trunks crossed his arms. "So you like women like my mom, right? It kind of sucks that she ended up with my dad."

Yamcha couldn't move. He wasn't sure he was breathing, either. "H-Huh?"

"Yeah 'cuz you probably woulda been a way better husband. All my dad does is train all day and then sit at the table and stuff his stupid face." Trunks put his fist on his hip. "You like watching movies and being nice and shit. I dunno."

~~~

Yamcha was desperately hoping Vegeta wasn't going to manifest behind him and reduce him to ashes. The things Trunks was saying were weird, sure, but the whole family had always been blunt. Trunks probably didn't mean anything by it. Not that that would stop either of his parents from hunting Yamcha down if they heard.

And Yamcha wasn't stupid! He had issues with his own parents, way back when. It's what eventually led him to become a bandit out in the middle of the desert for Chrissake! But he had just wanted to be a dude Trunks could come talk to if he was having the sort of human troubles an ex-evil alien dad couldn't help him solve, and apparently he had been too approachable. Or Vegeta really did just suck that bad.

Either way, oops.

"Hey kid, l-listen! You can't just say things like that!" Yamcha sighed deeply, trying to compose himself. He was still looking around like a raccoon that could hear hound dogs braying, but at least he stopped stuttering.

And then he saw Trunks' face harden even further, scowling angrily. The tykebomb looked like he was barely resisting shouting his next statement, and Yamcha was very glad for that.

~~~

"I'm not a fucking kid! Goddamnit, I'm just trying to have a normal fucking conversation, why are you being so fucking weird about this?" Trunks would have been a truly intimidating sight to behold at this point if he wasn't three-foot-five with lavender hair. "And I was gonna apologize for suckerpunching you that one time when you stayed over, but you can fucking forget it! I'm glad I punched you!"

~~~

The older man knew he had to take responsibility here, because apparently he was right and neither of the kid's parents bothered to teach him the difference in how you're supposed to talk to people outside your own home.

...Thinking on it, neither Bulma nor Vegeta had ever deferred to authority in their lives. Vegeta had a habit of trying to kill anybody stationed above him, and Bulma either screamed until listened to or flashed her tits at someone until she got her way.

Fuck him, maybe he would have made a better parent! Too late now, though.

"No, Trunks, that's not what I meant," he reassured the stunted youth. "I want you to know you can talk to me about stuff, alright? But maybe- maybe not out where your parents can hear? The earth dragon balls can't bring me back again, y'know?"

Trunks looked back up, waiting to hear the rest of the statement.

"And I mean, actually you probably shouldn't say that sort of stuff, because it makes people uncomfortable, but-" here he took the chance of fucking it all up even worse and ruffled Trunks' hair. Trunks didn't even flinch and Yamcha didn't know what that meant. "We're already friends, right? And friends can totally say that sort of stuff. In private."

Trunks met him dead in the eye, unblinking and unemoting. "Okay."

Yamcha chuckled unconvincingly. It fooled Trunks, though. "So, were you actually gonna apologize for that gut punch, or...?"

"No."

"So, what? You were just gonna feel like shit about it your entire life? Until you died?"

"Yeah."

"Haha, okay then! Did... you want a slice of this, um, eclair cake? There's not a lot left!"

"Sure. Can I call you 'Uncle?'"

Yamcha tensed up just slightly, before letting it drain out of him. "Not where anybody who might tell your parents can hear, okay?"

"Deal."

[lalazeewrites]

RETURN OF TAG GAMES

i know i have been gone for what in fandom time is 'forever', so thank you a million for tagging me @celestialmickey @heymrspatel @tanktopgallavich @vintagelacerosette @energievie @stocious @metalheadmickey @gallagher-milkovich

name: lala/larisa

age: 35 but i’m permanently stuck at 25 in my head, i always forget

where in the world are you? 📍 an hour north of chicago, near the wisconsin border

the meaning behind your URL: very self explanatory, i’m not creative with names hehe. but lalazee is my nickname and zee is because my last name is a z name. again, not creative lol

your second favorite color: pink!

any pets? one cat with the personality of a soft bunny & another cat with the personality of a surly dragon

favorite season: autumn!

last thing you read: ‘the only good indians’ by stephen graham jones

last song you listened to: ‘so much (for) stardust’ by fob is playing as i type! i am a true blue lifelong feral fan from ‘take this to your grave (2003) album fan onwards. i’ve already listened to this album so much that my almost ten year old knows most of the words to most of the songs lol

what are you wearing right now? grinning skeleton holding up a coffee cup w a smiley face on it that says ‘STAYIN’ ALIVE’ & pink shorts

a hobby of yours: writing! singing! hiking! camping! cooking! all things horror!

your comfort show or movie: i feel like your comfort movies & shows might not be your all time favs, but more like movies & shows that are easy on your brain to absorb when you’re skull is feeling soupy. as a true 90’s kid, i gravitate for comfort toward those big box office action or disaster films like jurassic park, twister, independence day, the mummy (and 2), men in black, jumanji, matrix, anaconda, etc. . . i have a thing for big monsters & big battles, so also count pacific rim as one of my favorite movies ever too haha

and finally, what are you up to today? it’s spring break! but my spinal surgery blah blah is still healing so i’m relaxing at home while my mom takes my kid to the arcade and candy shop! they’ve been gone four hours, so i can only assume they’ve had a good time lol

FANDOM EDITION

your first fandom(s): First fandom on the INTERNET would have been Star Trek XI. First media that i was unhinged about: X-Files, X-Men, Xena, Sailor Moon (apparently I couldn’t find another X related interest LOL)

your current fandom(s): My Hero Academia, Shameless, Stranger Things, Attack on Titan. . .I actively read for about 5 other fandoms other than those (Supernatural, Witcher, FMA, LOTR, Star Trek), but I’m currently actively writing in these.

how did you first get into fandom? Back when I was living in Glasgow, Scotland, it was my 21st birthday, and my friends and I were going to see a horror movie. Turned out, the tickets were sold out, so we decided to see Star Trek XI. I’d NEVER watched Trek in my life, didn’t know a thing about it, and when I walked out of that theater I was a totally changed human and now I am a Trek Encyclopedia LOL

how long have you been engaging with fandom spaces? Since 2009, so like 14 years.

how often do you read fanfics? Every day, if my brain is healthy enough that day! I sometimes take breaks of a couple months and only read published books though, I feel I get a different experience from both that I can equally appreciate.

top 3 characters from your current fandom(s): Mickey Milkovich, Bakugou Katsuki, Billy Hargrove. Angry disaster babies, I guess.

have you ever written a fic for a fandom? I’ve written 167 fics, not including those on my Patreon. So, over 170 fics, at least.

have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom? No! Funny that I got accepted on scholarship to NIU for Theater & Art, partially on my art portfolio, but I never create any art for anything!

share a personal headcanon that you feel very strongly about: Ian loves his mom more than he feels comfortable saying, because he feels like it's a family and even personal betrayal. I think it’s impossible to accurately describe how to feels to grow up with an abusive parent who vacillates wildly between adoring and abusive, but there’s no feeling quite like loving and hating your parent, desperately wishing you could be what they wanted so they’d stay, and hoping you never see them again. I know we’ve seen Ian follow Monica more than any other kids, but I think that any time he curses her out to his siblings or whoever else, each bad word is also like a self-cut.

you’re trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) If for My Hero Academia, I would have them watch the Heroes Rising movie, for Shameless I don’t even KNOW where I’d begin tbh LOL

and finally, what does fandom mean to you? Fandom is family! I’ve been in fandom for fourteen years, and I have so so so many real life friends who have been with me through literally the hardest parts of my life. My divorce, my ex husband going to prison, the birth of my child, me being a single parent, moving back to America, my coma, my kidney transplant. My fandom friends from across the world have uplifted me and been my support system through every single high and low. I don’t know how I’d be here without them, quite literally.

[theinvisiblemuseum]

do you have any pandalily headcanons or fics you could share?

bury a friend has given me brain rot :(

ok so i suck because i literally haven't read any fics in foreverrrrr BUT i'm always willing to provide some pandalily headcanons bc i love them more than life itself <33

i'll split it into modern/au vibes and canon vibes bc those differ greatly in my mind (and ill put it under the cut in case this gets long)

(spoiler, it did get long and i’m not sorry)

canon vibes:

so funnily enough in my view of 'canon' pandalily isn't a thing, i have a wholeeeee version of what i consider canon etched in my head and that's never changing but for the sake of the argument i DO have ideas

everyone is on a mission to keep these two apart at all costs

marauders & co know that lily’s a little bit crazy if properly encouraged and slytherins & co are well aware that pandora Can and Will be insane at any given opportunity

therefore, they must be kept apart, for everyone’s sanity

pandora and lily do what they want, more than anything

i like to believe they bonded over being fascinated by the same groteque subject, and they met up in the restricted section to make out

lily teaches pandora loads of deadly hexes, and pandora introduces lily to terrifying magical creatures

they both ride thestrals together, but neither of them can see them

something tells me that they discovered the whole deal about the chamber of secrets and solved it, and that’s how the marauders figured out that tom riddle was voldemort & then that in turn led regulus to research horcruxes but i’m getting too far ahead of myself here

sometimes they’d curse people off their brooms during quidditch matches

pandora is as big of a prankster as the marauders but she’s smart enough to get away with it & doesn’t take credit or leave a trace but if she DOES she uses lily’s head girl privileges to get out of trouble 

lily would look the other way when evan committed acts of arson

evan proposed to lily so he could be evan evans and pandora encouraged them to Get Married For The Bit

if pandalily were together in canon they wouldn’t have died period they would have rocked voldemort’s shit

they both realize after the war how down with murder they are

they start a little wizard hit man business they sneakily kill people and get super rich for it, i’m right i know i am

all their friends support this, because they’re killing shitty people and getting revenge for their friends that did die

lily refuses to take the last name rosier because she refuses to be lily rose and pandora refuses to take the last name evans because of her brother 

i haven’t actually properly thought about canonverse pandlily before but now i’m thinking so many thoughts oh no oh no

au vibes:

cannibalism

literally will graham lily and hannibal lecter pandora if you don’t see my vision i cannot help you it’s divine intervention you’re not ready for don’t worry one day you’ll see the light

intensely codependent

they saw each other, decided they’d kill for each other, and the rest is history

neither of them is allowed to die unless the other person kills them. in a romantic way. they will go hand in unlovable hand or not at all.

pandora’s family loves lily 

sometimes they’ll fall off the face of the earth for a little while, come back looking like hell, and their friends take bets on if they had sex, committed murder, or both

no one actually knows if their jokes about murder are jokes or not

like. they haven’t killed anyone. they just have a dark sense of humor. right?

haha. right????

“i stand with my cancelled wife”

dinner parties. human meat may or may not be on the menu

i think they’ve been to the met gala. at least twice.

they’re both night owls, but lily can wake up early and pandora would rather die than wake up early

they’d never have kids but they’re AMAZING aunts to their friends kids 

they give the kids weird shit that they definitely shouldn’t, like human brains in a jar or voodoo dolls

they’ve got some kind of telepathy, they alwaysss know what the other is thinking

they sometimes pretend they’re getting divorced just for fun, they go through a whole process and everything only to be like nvm :)

their lawyer hates them

they have an Attic. no one goes in the Attic. but everyone has a story about what they Think is in the Attic.

pandora has cloud tattoos all the way up her arm & neck and lily traces them while she tries to fall asleep

they play “how would you rather die” before bed every night and come up with stranger things every time

oh god this is getting so long i’ll be done now i promise

also yaz is writing a pandalily fic that’s dropping the first chapter on xmas and i’m very excited for thattttttttt and everyone else should be as wellllll <33

[bluebirbbs]

Weeeeee you reblogged it okay okay how about 2 5 34 & 35 :D?

WOOO ✨ okie dokie let’s do this !!

2. How Long have you Been Drawing?

A real long time hehe!! I’ve drawn my whole life but I started for real in 7th grade, so about 9 years now!! ✨

5. What’s your favorite thing to draw??

Facial Expressions!! I love character art but I’ve definitely always focused on the face and this year I’ve really enjoyed how my faces have turned out, with their big chompers haha 😆

34. Show at least one pic you drew or sketches recently that you did not put on a public site

I’ve been in a funk so how about a sketchbook spread from today!!✨They’re my ocs Cressida and Graham, gotta love the princess and the baker 😆

35. List at least one of your “artspirations”

Animated movies and tv shows(there’s too many to list ahhhh), I have a hoard of art concept books that I stare at religiously hahaha, I also just love looking at all my fellow artists so much definitely such an inspiration for me

[merrock]

Can I have some mwf? I’m struggling deciding on one character haha

Hi there, anon!

We actually have a huge list of wanted faces right here with tons of ladies that we'd love to see on our dash! Some of my favorites would be: Madchen Amick, Angela Bassett, Danielle Brooks, Aisha Dee, Janina Gavankar, Kat Graham, Salma Hayak, Luca Hollestelle, Laura Harrier, Jeanine Mason, Katherine McNamara, Candice Patton, Crystal Reed, Adeline Rudolph or Michelle Yeoh!

Writers, if you have any ladies you would like to see on our dash, please chime in and help this anon out! xx

[oraclekleo]

Hiiii, Kleooo

Omgggg I'm awake and you posted the tiny game, anyways I would like to participate please, can my lover be my fs hahaha? I'm single, but I want to participateeee.

"What type of sexy costume and fantasy action I would enjoy the most with my lover?"

Info: name initial A, surname initial L, two names, two surnames, 21 y/o. Thank youuuu.

Also, I give you the feedback for the past game later cause today was a busy day, but like always, it resonated, so BAD. Thank you, I'm happy you are better with your health!

Hello, my SpookySexy Kleotic!

Haha! Darling, most of us are single here. That's the main reason why we have fun with these games, we don't have the real thing 😂

I'm really happy you decided to participate in this tiny game. 😘

Let's get freaky! 👻😜🎃

Question: What type of sexy costume and fantasy action you would enjoy the most with your lover?

Deck: Dark Wood Tarot - by Sasha Graham, art by Abigail Larson

Card: 6 of Pentacles

You don't quite match your costume with your lover but you are likely to have something in common. Like maybe you wear a hottie Devil costume and they go as naughty Angel. You are both ready to be generous and freaky when you are already immersed in your roles. Your Angel lover is ready to be corrupted by your devilish seductive charms and you are open to them worshiping you. Let your Angel take you to heaven and beyond as they drop to their knees to seal the the deal with a Devil with a kiss. Your lover loves it when you talk dirty to them, when you completely ruin their angelic outfit, make a total mess out of them and all over their face.

[silvvermst]

GOD, I LOVE NERDS

SYNOPSIS :: Warren got his new glasses since he spent too much time on his computer, but it only made him more attractive on your end.

NOTE :: I need him with glasses, I'm on a brainrot

TYPE :: fluff

Warren has been acting strange, and not the way you were used to his weirdness. Goodness, you’ve been dating for almost a year. But this past few days he has been insisting going on “online dates”. For example, you guys are on facetime from day to night but you’re the only one who has their camera on and no matter how much you insist him to show his face on the camera, he just wouldn’t and creates a different topic to shift your attention.

This weirdness was putting you off, surely, and you’re sure he doesn’t have it in him to cheat. Now that is unbelievable. Warren. The guy who has been literally worshipping the ground you walk on ever since you were children to the guy who became your first boyfriend and promised himself to you. It was suspicious, but you couldn't help but doubt his faithfulness. Therefore, you took it upon yourself to find out what’s actually happening these days.

It has been a minute since you’ve knocked on his door and your patience is on thin ice. “Warren Daniel Graham.”

“You, you should’ve told me you were coming.” You heard his voice tremble from the other side of the door. Desperation was laced in the tone of his voice clearly trying to hide something.

The thought of him having another girl over made you bite your lip, surely he won’t do that to you. He promised. “Warren, you’re making me worry.”

On instinct, Warren opened the door wide open. Maybe it was a small sob and crack you let out that he put your distress over his and opened the door for you. Although, his state as of now was what shocked you the most. His hair has always been messy but it looks like somebody pulled his hair harshly, while his eyes were red and tears stained his cheeks.

“Warren! What happened to you?” Your cause of worry earlier shifted to the state he was in. Rushing over to his side and drying his tears with your palms.

“It’s nothing, I swear!” He laughed it off and harshly rubbed his eyes only for him to groan as the stinging got much worse. “Haha… w, what brings you here, sweets?”

“Jesus, you think I’d buy that?! Tell me what happened to you!” Panic arises from you since the condition of his eyes has gotten much worse and his tears doesn't stop flowing.

“Okay, okay. I, I got some contacts.” He confessed, blinking his eyes trying to dust off the tears that were welling up in his tear ducts. “I feel like my eyes don’t like the contacts.” He laughed it off once more and scratched his neck.

“Oh my God! Remove it, then! You might get an infection.” He groans once more, by this time he needs your help to guide him around the house because his eyes get blurry from the tears. “Here, sit here.”

You gently helped him locate the couch and he plopped with a bounce, though you couldn’t help but look away when he removed the contacts from his eyes and gently placed it back on the two circular case. “Sorry, t’was disgusting.”

“No! You’re not! It’s just your fingers were so close to your eyeballs!” You exclaimed, bumping your shoulders together as you took the space on the couch next to him. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Can you help me get my eyedrops in the bathroom? It’s in the medicine cabinet.” He asks, still blinking his eyes from irritation.

“Got it, just wait here.” You immediately got up from the couch and rushed towards the bathroom. You didn’t even need his instructions on which room is the bathroom, you made your way to it like it was your own house.

“Gotcha!” You exclaimed after investigating the vial bottle where a bunch of letters that spelled out Eye Drops on a sticky paper wrapped around the bottle. You went back to the living room and caught Warren rubbing his eyes abrasively. “Warren! Your eyes might get more irritated if you keep rubbing it.”

“Sorry, it’s just so… itchy!” For the last time, he rubbed his eyes once more before your own hands stopped him.

“Seriously, you. Anyways, I got your eye drops.” You handed him the vial and without wasting a second he poured droplets of it into his eyes and once again, you couldn’t help but look away.

After he poured the drops both in his eyes, he set the vial at the coffee table in front of the couch. He opened his arms to you, and you didn’t hesitate to collapse on him. You always loved the feel of his arms around you, but of course you couldn’t help but wonder why he ended up in this situation. “Wait, why are you even wearing eye contacts?! Your brown eyes are already perfect…” You pouted, at least to you it’s the perfect shade of brown ever! He bit his bottom lip but he couldn’t help but turn his frown upside down. “Don’t give me that sweet smile that you know I‘d go soft for!”

“Okay, okay, it’s just my vision has been getting blurry from using the computer, phone, et cetera. So… I went to the hospital and I had to get some graded glasses.” He sighed, remembering his time with that horrible and strict optometrist. “But it didn’t look good on me so I bought some contacts but I think I’m allergic to them…”

Suddenly you put two and two together. “Is that why you were so insistent on having online dates?” You know that you got him by the way he avoids your eyes and looks at the uninteresting items around the living room.

“Hmm, no?” His answer almost sounds like a question that you couldn’t help but chuckle and feel himself push his body next to you, burying his head towards your neck and inhaling your musky perfume that he loved so much.

“Oh, honey. You should’ve just worn the glasses. I’m sure you’d still be the cutest guy in this town.” You tried to assure him by caressing his cheeks while your thumb softly dusts away the tears from his eyelashes.

“You don’t understand. Chloe… Chloe said I looked like Simon from Alvin and the Chipmunks! And you know what? I actually do look like him, now that she mentioned it!” He groaned, pulling away from your comforting touch and put his head on his arms to hide, casting a shadow upon himself.

“Warren, come on, some stupid glasses are not gonna make you any less attractive. I’d even prefer it, rather than seeing you get allergies from contact lenses. So please, don’t torture yourself so that you can appear appealing for me because my feelings aren’t shallow for you that it would change just because you change something about you.” You softly pecked his lips. Finally his body relaxed, his shoulders loosened before nodding. While the redness in his eyes slowly faded away, and the tears that were flowing earlier stopped.

“I’m not underestimating your feelings, babe. It’s just…” He took a deep breath and took out an eyeglass case. “Just don’t laugh.”

You immediately shook your head as you watched in anticipation when he opened the case and revealed a black round frames. Your impatience and excitement got the better of you. “Can I put it on you?”

“Wha, uh, sure.” He gently handed you the eye glasses and closed his eyes. You made sure the hooks of the glasses rest comfortably on his ears. “Is it good?” He asked with his eyes still shut.

When you didn’t answer, nervousness settled on his bones. His fingers anxiously tapping on his thighs as he waits for your answer or at least a confirmation that he doesn’t look bad. Maybe the reason for your speechlessness was because he looked so adorable with his glasses on, sure it made him look more like a nerd than he already is but it just made him look more handsome.

“Honey?” He called out, he didn’t want to open your eyes and be met with a turned off expression, but as he was about to call out your name, your lips shut him up. He opened his eyes in shock because every now and again, he never gets used to the fact that he’s dating you so every time the two of you kiss it always sends him in a state where he has constant reminders in his mind that he has the absolute permission to kiss you back.

“You look so hot in your glasses.” You whispered when you parted your lips from him. It was just mere seconds but both of you have to take deep breaths while a bead of sweat rolls down on your forehead because somehow the room became comfortably warm even if the AC was on.

“Wait, you're serious?” His jaw slacks from your sudden declaration. In response you laughed at his obvious confusion, moving closer and straddled his lap. Your hand slid on his cheeks, gently squishing the soft flesh. Upon doing so his glasses slightly got crooked and ended up on the tip of his nose making it out of place.

“What? You might look like Simon, but I can see a little Milo Thatch here and there. And you know he was my childhood crush.” Your hand moved on his neck since he was about to reach out scratch that spot again.

There was not a doubt that whatever he hides, his small habits always catches your attention that it makes you see right through him. You know him better than he knows himself and how you fully accept those habits, patterns, and mostly is himself what made him confident.

“Mhm, now that I thought about it… I guess I do. What if for Halloween we go out as Milo and Princess Kida?” You smiled at his suggestion and gently nodded. While his hands roam on your back, you let yourself be pulled towards him, closing the gap between you before resting your forehead on his shoulder. “Are you sure I look fine?”

You slightly leaned backward and took a close inspection of his face. God, how can he be this fine and still question his looks? The glasses compliment his facial features, especially his eyes. It made his eyes pop more of color from the metallic silver frames he chose. “Do I have to kiss you how much I want you for you to be rest assured?”

The grin he had earlier turned into a smile that shows his teeth. “Yes. Yes, please.”

You didn’t wait a second as you caught him off guard from the sudden kiss. It gradually became deeper and hands finally roamed under your sweatshirt, feeling the way your skin burned from his touch and sent shivers down your spine. When you were about to pull away to breathe, he rested his hand on your nape preventing your escape. He continued to suck on your bottom lip, causing you to breathe to your nose only for it to fog his glasses.

“Warren, not fair.” By this time you were able to talk as if he moved towards your jaw, leaving open-mouthed kisses.

“What’s not fair? You started it.” His mouth was already on your neck when you softly moaned his name, despite the warmness of his kisses his glasses were the opposite feeling the cold chill of the metal frames of his glasses.

His remark made you speechless, but to be honest it was the way his touches made you look like a puppet. Only responding to the places he touched you and how much you wanted for more. Your desire made you bold to hold his face and engage in a searing kiss, leaving red lipstick smudge on the side of his lips but he doesn’t have it in him to care, if anything he wanted you to mark his body with your kisses and lipstick.

You sneaked out your phone tucked in your pockets, hypnotizing him from your kiss so he wouldn’t notice it. Before you pull away you peck the tip of his nose, then you hit the camera icon on your phone and angled the phone to take a quick picture.

“Hey! Not fair!” He whined, trying to take away the phone from you, likely had an intention to delete the picture. But you kept flailing your arms accompanied with the sound of laughter that he couldn’t help but melt to.

“Pleaseeee, just let me keep this one.” When he stopped trying to take your phone, you opened the gallery to see the photo you took. “See?!”

His pout turned into an ‘oh’ shape when he saw it. The lighting of the room helped elevate the photo, and him as a subject being in a dazed state with his pupils blown while his face was covered in a red smudged lipstick just made this single photo into a masterpiece. “Now, I have a wallpaper.”

You saw the look on his face, utterly bewildered by how good he looked at the picture you’ve taken made you giggle. How on Earth is he not aware how many girls are jealous of you by just dating him?!

The sound of your laugh muffled by your hand caught his attention. “Fine, you can keep it. But only for yourself.”

“Hmm, I don’t know, I kinda want to print it out and put it all over my room.” Your pointer finger touched your chin as if you’re in a manner of thinking deeply. He chuckled at your teasing that he couldn’t help but pounce you and put you down on the couch.

“Do whatever you want, but I want a picture of you as well.” He softly kissed your collarbone, leaving wet trails of kisses. He slipped his hand under your shirt, almost able to touch the fabric of your brassiere when a car beeped outside his house.

Both of you went still as stone until you heard his mom yelled his name. “Oh, shit.” You muttered under your breath.

“Yeah, let’s continue this upstairs.” He immediately got off of you, both of your hearts hammering against their rib cages from the thought of being caught. Since the sound of the front door creaking open and the hall connected to the living room, you had at least a little time to fix your clothes.

“Warren, have you watered the plants?” His mother’s eyes shifted from her husband to the both of you. “Oh!”

In an awkward laugh, Warren took hold of the situation. “Haha, so, you’ve met my girlfriend before. But we’re going to go upstairs now.”

He took your hand and instantly took off from the scene and headed towards his bedroom. Leaving both of his parents stunned and flustered by how bold their son has become.

The moment both of you were inside of his room, he made sure to close and locked the door. “We totally fooled them.” He said in triumph.

“Baby, you still literally have my lipsticks stained all over your mouth and nose. What makes you think we fooled them?”

“So, what? At least they know I’m loved right?” His cheeky grin was so infectious that you couldn’t help but giggle at what he said. He pulled you by the waist to steal a quick kiss.

“I might have to kiss you all over once we go to school, by the time you walk in the classroom girls might just lose their mind. So I have to remind them I’m your girlfriend or something.” Just imagining it boils down your mood, because if you couldn’t help but go feral over him just thinking about other people…

His pointer finger and thumb softly pinches your chin to make you look at him.“I doubt that, everyone knows I only have eyes for you. Well, four eyes.” You rolled your eyes but your grin couldn’t be wiped from your face.

He’s got a point, though. He always has his eyes for you.

[ghostreviewer]

Maxton Hall Series by Mona Kasten

5/5 ⭐️

CW: spoilers, mentions of stroke leading to parental death, near drowning, and abusive parents

OMG I LOVE THIS SHOW!! I know I haven’t reviewed any shows yet (welcome to the first) but I just finished this last night and at was so good? Like, I got attached after 2 episodes! It’s a German TV show based of a book series (also in German) so I watched it in German with English subtitles. Whole reason I even found this show is because I’m doing an exchange right now and am in Germany and my friends host family introduced it to me and then me and my person watched it. Anyway, should probably actually start the review and not just ramble about how I found it. (It’s on Prime Video btw and season 2 is already in the making)

Anyway, haha, I seriously loved this show. It’s rivals to lovers and James (MMC) was a dick at the beginning to Ruby (FMC) but than they fell in love and it was so cute. It’s rich boy poor girl and it’s just, aaaaah I love it. Ruby‘s family is so cute and they have such a great relationship with each other and it’s just amazing. James‘ family, on the other hand, isn’t that great. He has his sister Lydia and they and so close it’s amazing. Ruby accidentally catches Lydia with one of their teachers (Graham [the first same of the teacher] and Lydia started dating before he got the job at the school and than once they realized it they broke up and the scene Ruby walked in on was as Lydia says “a relapse”) and James is ready to pay so much money to keep Ruby from telling anybody but Ruby was like, no thanks, and turned down I think 5 million Euros. It was insane I love Ruby. And she doesn’t even tell anybody at all. James thought she told somebody and ruined the welcome party Ruby planned (dick move right there) and then they’re forced to work together on a different one.

And they learn so much about each other it’s insane. And they learn to care for each other and just aaaaah it’s so cute. Ruby’s dad is paralyzed from an accident with a boat trying to save Ruby from drowning and then at a party some kids push Ruby into a pool and she obviously starts freaking out and James saves her (!) and Carey’s her bridal style out of the party and she cry’s and explains everything in the car and it’s so cute. That scene was by far one of my favourites. And then they have the gala where James is supposed to be at a press conference but him and Lydia try a twin swap but it fails and holy hell their dad is pissed and he literally smacks James across the face. I hate their dad so much like, I can’t even put it into words.

Backtracking a little bit, one of the goals of the party was to get the principal of the school to write Ruby a letter of recommendation to Oxford because a letter of rec from him would be insanely valuable. So a lot of what’s going on in this show is working their way to Oxford. And when she gets accepted and goes to the school for the interview process it’s so cute but also heartbreaking because while Ruby and James were dating, James’ dad threatened to ruin Ruby’s family if James continued to talk with her so they broke up. Have I mentioned I hate his dad? Anyway, so then they see each other again because their dorms are right across from each other and it’s so cute. And Ruby does so well in her interviews and the two make up and it’s amazing. We also found out that Lydia is pregnant with Grahams kid and omg was that unexpected but also she loves Graham so much and already loves the baby’s and she’s grown so much from the start of the series and I’m so happy for her. But then it’s back at the houses. Ruby is celebrating with her family and it’s so cute and I love them all so much. But James and Lydia are not having that great of a time.

The ride back was quiet, probably expected but we got the like, forwarning music and knew something was up. Especially because Lydia had just tried to call her mom to tell her about the pregnancy and it went straight to voicemail. So they get home and their dad tells them to sit down, Lydia does but James doesn’t. Then he tells them their mom had a stroke and died and it’s was so heart breaking because while she had her major expectations she was still better than the dad and just I’m so mad that they killed her. And then James just shoots up and starts hitting his dad and I’m sitting here like, oh yeah this is so deserved I wish it was him that died and not the mom. And then he goes and sees Ruby and her family being all happy and it just hits you in the feels and then the season ENDS. It’s like, excuse me I was still watching this give me my baby’s back.

It was such a great show and I loved it so much. 100% would recommend to anybody who loves romance shows and rivals to lovers and just, literally anybody honestly I loved it. 5/5 best thing I’ve seen in a hot minute.

[strikersin]

Dear Diary,

Today I am 15 years old. Just lying. My birthday is Not June 13th. You'll remember that about me, if not other things. You'll say you don't remember, but you do. I guess I didn't really mind it. It seemed par for the course of my existence so far. I mean, I would go so far to say that I deserved it. I'm not looking for conjecture here, whether I did or not, just letting you know where I'm at. It was a natural consequence. Naturally, consequences happen. I am not a consequence-free person, nor am I consequence-prone. Things happen and they have to happen. Like me. I'm alive for a reason.

Emancipated minor. Heh. I would have rocked that. Except it wasn't really going to work out for me. Fugo would. Teru did.

Click. So many things are bothering me. In my mind lately, just everywhere. And I can't shut it off. The thing that connects me to me isn't very pleasant to experience. Or, I can't shut it off very well. Drugs and alcohol, music, it kind of does the trick. But it makes the weirdo hallucinationlessness of it all very scary. So it's like... oh you have mental problems. Oh. I... know already.

I can see my face really well. Haha! To think of this face as my face — and the specific expressions that I use. Well, karkat my bomb-omb doesn't get to have the same thing.

What a sad bunch of people. I don't see how singularity would help, except in terms of focus. I could laser focus my way through this. Jonathan is way too aware of himself. He can't do anything. Well, he's totally not allowed on my blog, so I'm aware talking further would be behind his back. It's all so... weird. Again! Stop judging me, I can't turn this thing off. Used to be so human, when'd you really leave... leave; it's going to be autumn. AND NO IT'S NOT SUMMER YET! It's not that part of June.

June is supposed to be my safe month. I've spent every day... busy. The last few days unable to process the time passing. I feel like something inside me has split open, and I'm waiting to see...

Also -_- i can literally hear the background music, guys. I know the shoe is hovering now. I guess maybe this will be the answer to Jonathan's emotional state. And I'll get some real wisdom for the rest of my life. It's definitely seemed like every thing has shaken me up, and that it had to be this way, for some reason.

NoOOOOO, I don't want to talk to my dad again. I want to watch daredevil. I want to want to watch Firefly, to watch LOTR. How am I supposed to face Sam and Frodo yet?

Noo, I have to see my real dad, squeak. I mean my Other Father. I mean the biological one. Speak, Michael! Speak! Why! I don't want to see him! Why! Do we have to live in the same city? I mean, [willing myself to calm down] technically no. I will live in [local city] and work security with Cos.

Ahahaha, my girl is really cute right now. I mean, my friend. I would land an airplane off that. I mean I'm not gqy— i mean to say,

Wow. She has freckles on her knees that are really cute.

I mean to say— I'm sorry I'm Michael. Yeah, I dunno, I'm just sorry for being...

Spike, tho?

Except for when Lunaria says it to me because no matter what I feel <<<

The alligator is eating another number. It's eating HER.

Feelings are so weird, man. Maya wants up. Ugghhhh. Hehehe she's cuddling Callie now. It's really cute. Will Graham has been coaching me in dogs now. I've had it bad lately, um, I guess because I've been out here so much. Anyways I'm not gay.

We drove to [larger city] today and I don't know. I love Dio so much. I can't even remember who was in the car. Ah, the music. It was Pierre. So that means either Dmitriy or Fyo. As well as Jonathan all-fucking-day again. I don't want to think about this morning. He doesn't want to think about anything, all the time, it seems like. Fyo likes to be around Pierre so she's always happy even though the popular opinion of her is not favorable. Though I don't even know why. I wonder if I poked him, if he'd stop. I want to have dreams again. Hello. Remember.

Selfish, selfish reasons. GAH! MY CAR. I wonder if this ever happened to Dean Winchester after their dad gave him the impala. And he like just has it in season one. I interpreted this as being something important his father left him before he went missing, you know, and that added to the urgency.

-_-? You know who else has urgency? Ugh, no wonder Jonathan, that guy is so stressed out all the time. This is what you have to confront: would your father love you if you were a gay man? I mean bisexual? you would just be the same, right? I think, what does that mean to you?

MY CAR? MY CAR? And Pauline got mad too. That's what you've done. I should spray the centerpiece with something smelly. I want it to smell like that rhubarb daily meyers soap.

Ugh, I'm sorry my name is Michael. Oops, this is too close to real life stuff now. Ughhhh, and for existing. I need to take up martial arts again. I don't care if it's practicing at home in the mirror.

Luke? LUKE. You don't like onions? That's so scary, I would never want my mom to yell that name. I would not have made it as a guy. Actually, I wouldn't have killed myself. Eww. My legs are sticky. I am going to pet clover.

Gah! So, I want to tell you what it's like to be 15. It sucks, you start to see some of the advantages but overall it sucks. I mean some of it is great, if you're into that. NOOO, I don't want to talk to my dad on the phone again. You're going to say "just so we're clear..." it's going to be like Christmas and getting a tree in a scary condition. It's Christmas! No it's not. I think it's Christmas tomorrow actually. No, tomorrow is Christmas Eve. So tomorrow we'll get ready for Christmas. "I'm going to say one thing..." no, no, no! Now that I've written them, it will probably be me who says them. At least Jonathan is here. I don't really remember that phone call, or what it said. I remember ohhh uuggghhh I did something that was wrong, I mean mega-stupid, which was one : reference the past and two : respond in the most dumb manner one can assume : yes sir!

I don't even know what to say for Fyo. I feel bad for her. I may be emotionally shut off in this regard. Oops, I kind of just want to let it go now. There's a train going by. Mm! The laundry . Ah, hm. I feel bad.

I have to go potty. Trying not to cry lmfao. Relax relax relax. My ability to do this is inhibited. My ability to experience pleasure is low. I still think I can change all of this.

I don't know what to do >_< I want to send my mom a song. Omg. Dies. I think I feel so happy. Ed, gags. Oh, that was what that was there to remind me for. I can't stop thinking about the waterparks.

I have to pee. I have so much planned for so many things. Have so much of it in my mind at all times. It's like I'm a bucket of things. (CCG: NO—). I just have to remind myself what I'm here for. I know what I'm here for. Middle of the road. What does that mean? I would like to be in the middle of the road if I was in Yosemite, driving a small car. Fine, a yellow car. Maybe I'm not even driving. I like being a passenger, but then my life is also in your hands. And in my moms hands, as much as it's humanly possible, I'm safe. And that's been most of my life. Yeah, I know, I'm not going to forget. But actually, that's a LOT of information. Agh. A disembodied dream where overhead there are two girls discussing you, "I think she..." while the girl that you are scrambles to do them. I have never known how to explain myself to other people. Oh. I would like it if I wasn't driving. But you have to drive like someone else. I mean, people need a motive. You can drive safely for someone else. I drive like my father and his movements are so mechanical. I like the fluidity of motion in the car. I like to imagine driving my mom around, preferably in the desert at night. What are we doing there? The stars have finally come out. X

U.G.H. I hate it when my other father is right, umm, no haha I mean I love him. Sad face. This is about a specific memory in my childhood where the universe was implying that my sin would be jealousy. And I hated that message coming from him. I didn't know! Holy shit, Holy shit, Holy shit. Okay. MN. So, I'm going to need to put on two anklets. I have to pee so bad. I have to tame this beast. Like whaaat! Girl! Oh my gosh. I don't know how to be a person. Imagine me. Kudos to whoever was in the doctor's office. I have to pee so bad. I already literally wrote that.

AWHSJRKAH it looks like a guy again. Only this time, it's kind of like a cool older brother.

I got too high and fell asleep.

[cksmart-world]

SMART BOMB

The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis

By Christopher Smart

May 7, 2024

TOP 10 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A COP AT A RIOT

10 – Love your outfit, it really brings out your eyes.

9 – Does your mother know you're out late?

8 – Come on man, this is our class project for Poly Sci.

7 – I love it when you talk dirty.

6 – Dude, can you spare a donut.

5 – We're the Rec Department. Check out our new tents.

4 – You know, they have a cure for bad breath.

3 – What's you're favorite position.

2 – Weren't you the guy who kissed Majorie Taylor Greene on the lips.

1 – And the worst thing to say to a cop at a riot: Is that a big stick or are you just glad to see me.

GOV. DeSANTIS BANS LAB MEAT, INTESTINAL FORTITUDE

“We will save our beef,” declared Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis regarding meat grown in laboratories. But saving face, well that's another story. In Florida they like to ban stuff — books, abortions, back bone. The petri dish beef ban comes on the heels of DeSantis' come-to-Jesus meeting with former President Donald Trump, where the governor demonstrated he still has a taste for buttocks — real buttocks, real big buttocks. DeSantis even told supporters he is willing to help fundraise for Trump, when he isn't busy kissing The Donald's hammies. “It’s true that Trump doesn’t forgive easily — but he does love when people show remorse for what he views as disloyalty,” said columnist Hayes Brown. “Especially when that groveling comes with dollar signs attached to it.” DeSantis joins a long list of Republicans who have surrendered to the “Man Who Would Be King:” Sens. Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, Lindsey Graham, Tim Scott... the list goes on and on. Trump makes Republicans do what he wants by threatening and bullying, and those who cross him pay with humiliation — they must praise him as the Second Coming. The only defense is honesty and integrity — oops, looks like the Republicans banned that, too. Bummer.

BIDEN SHOULD SHOOT HIS DOG

If you've been hiding out at the animal shelter you may not know that Kristi Noem, the South Dakota governor who was on the short list to be Donald Trump's V.P., bragged in her new memoir, ”No Going Back,” that she shot her 14-month-old dog, Cricket, because he wasn't any good at pheasant hunting. He also killed some chickens. “I hated that dog,” she wrote. No Wilson, we are not making this up. She caught a bunch of grief from the liberal lame-stream media with such headlines as: “Noem shoots dog, commits political suicide.” Kinda catchy. So the ranch-girl governor doubled down on CBS's “Face the Nation,” saying President Joe Biden's dog should be shot, too, for biting Secret Service agents. He then could meet her puppy in Dog Heaven: “Commander, say hello to Cricket for me.” Haha. What a sense of humor. Some pundits suggest she included the ugly scene in her book to impress Trump with her toughness. Noem also noted putting down three horses, promising “more real, honest and politically incorrect stories that’ll have the media gasping.” Yes, Wilson, she got that part right. But the puppy-killer gambit may have backfired. Even MAGA celebs Don Jr. and Steve Bannon thought it was a little too base. Praise the lord and pass the ammunition

Post script — That's a wrap for another lovely week here at Smart Bomb where we keep track of who's using public restrooms so you don't have to. Under a new Utah law people can rat out anyone using a restroom that does not reflect their sex at birth (read trans people). They can report violations on the so-called “hotline complaint form.” Offenders could be charged with criminal trespass and fined $10,000 per violation. Continuing with the Big Brother theme: In a Time magazine interview, Donald Trump said he would not prevent states from passing and enforcing laws allowing monitoring of people's pregnancies to make sure no one gets an illegal abortion. The legislation would require pregnant women to submit to regular government exams. And you thought car inspections were intrusive. That brings us to “Abortion Tourism,” the cute expression coined by anti-abortion activists for women having to travel long distances to receive medical care — as if reproductive healthcare is some kind of a luxury vacation. Try and come up with a pithy punchline for that. Ugh.

Young people are protesting on college campuses across the nation. But the authorities don't like it. They say the First Amendment is sacred unless you've got tents. Cops in riot gear break up peaceful protests and say no fee speech when there's violence. So wake up the band, Wilson, and take us out with an anthem for the times:

Oh, where have you been, my blue-eyed son? And where have you been, my darling young one? I've stumbled on the side of twelve misty mountains I've walked and I've crawled on six crooked highways I've stepped in the middle of seven sad forests I've been out in front of a dozen dead oceans I've been ten thousand miles in the mouth of a graveyard And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, and it's a hard It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall

Oh, what did you meet, my blue-eyed son? Who did you meet, my darling young one? I met a young child beside a dead pony I met a white man who walked a black dog I met a young woman whose body was burning I met a young girl, she gave me a rainbow I met one man who was wounded in love I met another man who was wounded in hatred And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall

And what'll you do now, my blue-eyed son? And what'll you do now, my darling young one? I'm a-goin' back out 'fore the rain starts a-fallin' I'll walk to the depths of the deepest dark forest Where the people are many and their hands are all empty Where the pellets of poison are flooding their waters Where the home in the valley meets the damp dirty prison And the executioner's face is always well hidden And I'll tell and speak it and think it and breathe it And reflect from the mountain so all souls can see it And I'll stand on the ocean until I start sinkin' But I'll know my song well before I start singin' And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, and it's a hard It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall

(It's A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall — Bob Dylan)