#haha funny penis joke

[karmaphone]

anyway I think people are missing the point of the movie where Barbie becomes human and gets a vagina. she never had a choice about becoming human - that much was clear from the Weird Barbie heel/Birkenstock gag (and echoed in her 'choice' to become human - she was feeling and experiencing personhood anyway before she was offered a 'choice') what was also clear is that this is a growing up movie about Becoming Aware Of Things, like becoming aware of the patriarchy and how you're behaving affects other people, especially under that framework. growing up you absolutely wish you could go back to not thinking and floating in this dreamland of childhood safety, but you try to return to that only to find it in ruins, infected by a disease you weren't even aware of before. 'haha being a human woman means getting a pussy and that's a bad message to send' is a baby-ass analysis of it and you know it. growing up also means becoming aware of your genitals - and what it means to take care of them properly, especially in a society that doesn't want to talk about your genitals or put in proper efforts into caring for them

[hinoko-takami]

The pictures i take of me in vrc

The pictures my friends take of me

[renemesis]

^Call me Michael the way that I'm aware of the year I accidentally murdered my own brother.

[the-anime-man]

I am once again thinking far too much about the psychology of characters in fanfiction and that may lead me to create a piece of fanart that i am tentatively calling 'yuya sakaki's bus ride from hell'

[tocomplainfriend]

SEE!? THEY DON'T CARE!

TW: Rape, SA, Homophobia, Misogyny, Misandry

The specific censored word with "-", it's for my own reasons and comfort. It's not censored up and in tags due to filtering! Sorry if I made mistakes like forgetting of filtering or similar, I haven't used tumblr much before!

THIS IS A R-PE JOKE! THAT'S WHAT I HAVE BEEN FUCKING SAYING! ONE OF MY BIGGEST PROBLEMS WITH EPISODE 4 IS THE FACT OF "we want to write an empowering story about men getting sexually assaulted. Men victim don't get that attentio-" BITCH, YOU MADE MANY R-PE AND SA JOKES ALL THE FUCKING WAY THROUGH HELLUVA AND KNOW HAZBIN! You are the one making fun of scenarios where your male characters get assaulted or r-ped.

HOW TF DO YOU PRETEND TO BE SOOO ABOVE PEOPLE (INCLUDING VICTIMS OF SA AND R-PE) THAT'S EXPRESSED HOW THEY FELT ON THE EXECUTIONS AND WHO WORKED IN EPISODE 4. WHEN YOU YOURSELF MAKE JOKES ABOUT IT????? For some context, Sir Pent is trying to get with Cherri, but always deflects first in case she rejects him. He offers her a drink, but immediately says it's because he'll buy a drink for everyone on the club. Then he asks Cherri if they can have sex- and deflects back (a repetition joke) "Because I'll have sex with everyone here". Then he gets dragged into a room by other people, yelling wait and no! And the door closes as you heard him scream.

Out of context in the screenshot, you might even think it might be a serious scene where something happens to Pentious. BUT NO! IT'S BRUSHED OVER REAL FAST AND PLAYED AS "HAHA SOMETHING BAD HAPPEN TO SIR PENTIOUS AGAIN LMAOO"- it's the punchline.

Then at the end of the episode he gets out asking "Where is Cherri" (who btw is having sex with a random guy).

And please don't say "Well, he asked for it"- you know how you sound. The whole point of the joke is that he is trying to get with Cherri and failing astronomically. The point here is that he really doesn't want to have sex with a bunch of random people, but he has to do it because he is getting dragged into a room. (Again, Pentious is like Moxxie Their joke it's getting trashed and bullied by the world or people around them).

You made a whole episode about dealing with a male character's sexual assault, abuse or r-pe. Saying how much you respect victims, and your episode, it's just perfect about the topic. BlaBlaBla- no, you don't. You made all this jokes since HB season 1. This new joke was episode 6 of HH. You never acknowledge power dynamics, or coercion. You never acknowledge anything bad in your show.

Remember, as much as this shows go for LGBTQ+ representation and Queer media. As a ""Female lead show"". This jokes link back (not only to making fun of SA and R-pe itself, but to) homophobia and Misogyny. A scenario of where a man gets SA'ed or r-ped by another man or woman- leads to a scenario where the character is made fun of for not being "masculine enough" for being a victim or for not being able to defend themselves. In a scenario where this happens by a man to man, "It's funny because the victim is viewed as gay. As less masculine = gay and that's bad cause gay = weak and feminine and the idea of feminine = weak".

(There are a few jokes here and there, like Blitzo touching Moxxie's dick after making fun of him for having a baby penis.)

If you didn't notice, Moxxie gets attacked by multiple succubus, and that's apparently funny. KEEP IN MIND is not basic physical violence-no he comes out with lipstick kisses marks, the sounds effects are (ugh)... and Blitz tells him "Don't let them access any of your holes". In other concepts, I want to point out that the times when Moxxie is viewed as a bottom or feminine- he is made fun of. When Millie pegs him, he is made fun of because he is the man of the relationship, being implied as the bottom. When he wears the outfit of unhappy campers, he is extra objectified or made fun of even more than in any other episodes. He is also forcefully put on a dress in his wedding.

He is made fun of for being SA'ed for being uncomfortable scenarios:

These aren't jokes made by characters that "are bad because they are from hell". These are scripted jokes written by a person searching for the audience to laugh.

AND the reason why many audiences accept this jokes or even find them funny is because of some of these views (internalized or not) above. You'll also notice how all these jokes are directed at men (if you find an R-pe or SA joke directed at a woman in this two show, say something about it! POINT IT OUT!). People accept and write these jokes more because they care less about the idea of a man being a victim of such situation. More often than not- in the present, a woman getting assaulted or anything similar in any media gets noticed and called out. THESE JOKES OR THE NORMALIZATION OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT, ASSAULT, COERCION, OR SIMILAR TOWARDS WOMAN STILL HAPPENS!!!! There is an idea that men just tend to just want sex all times at any time. -And that a man getting SA'ed or r-ped by a woman it's just sex, cause "Why wouldn't you like free pussy". When it's a gay perpetrator is viewed as funny cause "that makes you gay or a woman" and that's apparently hilarious. Men can be r-ped no matter what. Men can be targets of all of these acts.

Remember that all the scenes of sexual abuse, harassment and r-pe in Poison are directed by the R2. Who, once again, is into r-pe porn- and they themselves said they are not an SA victim either. So remember, not even a victim trying to cope with their own R-pe or SA. This person draws and ships "R-pe ships", and tags it as "naughty men uwu" bullshit. Also, a person so obsessed with the character of Angel that they changed their name to Tony (Angel's real human name), make themselves look like him, and become a sex worker like Angel. They themselves looked at a comic of Val threatening r-pe and abuse on Angel as "thank good you have balls to draw something mean with these too, I was so bored" ???? (this stuff is in:) and cosplay and take photos of your Val x Angel ship

Congrats if you as a victim yourself thought that the scene with Angel was good. If it helped you be and feel seen. But remember the rest of the show, the hypocritical writers, don't care enough to view it as a serious topic to not joke about. Both HB and HH written by the same people (as in Vivziepop), take their sweet time to turn these topics into jokes.

What pisses off more, it's the trying to make yourself be viewed as a sensitive person about such topic. Make it seem like you are a savior for writing about it in such "serious, powerful and not sugar coded" way. But then you drop that on the fucking ground to make a joke about it when you are tired of pretending you are so good. If you were so informed of SA and r-pe, you wouldn't be making these jokes. If you knew how much SA male victims struggle to get viewed as serious or their stories taken into account-you wouldn't be this shitty.

God, you are so proud of the joke too.

My poor snake guy... one of the few characters that I like-

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman Groupchat (Final Timeline)

Warnings: suggestive, dark humour, mentions of abuse (kazutora's dad) in a serious and non serious way

Desc: so uh, it's not exactly like this (the request), but this is the basic format of events. the founders know kind of but Smiley and Angry don't. 🍎anon, forgive me if you hate it 😓🙏

Side Note: all the dark topics i'm making fun of (homophobia, abuse etc) are things i've personally gone through! i'm not just an asshole who jokes about bad things✋️😪!

Angry: i'm beginning to think there is something wrong with our friend

Draken: be more specific

Baji: that's literally all of us

Baji: ESPECIALLY Mikey

Mikey: ?

Mikey: you can't prove that

Baji: there's a deep sadness in your eyes

Baji: *madness

Mitsuya: tbh, both work

Mitsuya: sorry

Mikey: what do you mean

Mikey: i'm perfectly fine

Mikey: everyone in my life is alive and no one is dead

Mikey: i haven't committed any unforgivable sins

Mikey: see? i'm fine

Mitsuya: what are you ever talking about dude

Baji: see? he's crazy

Baji: i'd say something's wrong with Takemitchy but he's just ugly. does that count

Takemitchy: my wife would think otherwise😒

Baji: idgaf

Mikey: i also think otherwise just btw

Draken: bro let it go

Mikey: let what go😁

Mikey: it should've been me walking down the isle fr but like, i don't mind

Takemitchy: Mikey-kun i can't tell if this is a joke 😂

Chifuyu: Mikey you're making him uncomfortable😒

Mikey: Chifuyu, did you know that in another universe, i shot you in the head?

Chifuyu: yeah i bet, fucking psycho

Takemitchy: Mikey-kun😐

Anrgy: i mean Kazutora

Angry: there's something wrong with Kazutora

Draken: can't argue with that

Mitsuya: yep

Mikey: oh yeah definitely, but we all knew this?

Chifuyu: he should be admitted to a psych ward, in my personal opinion

Smiley: he has a few screws loose, but that's what makes him funny

Smiley: he threatened to kill me the other day and i genuinely didn't know if he was joking or not. i love that guy😁

Takemitchy: i'm sure he was joking. we all joke like that🤣

Chifuyu: he probably wasn't and we all know it

Draken: why did he threaten to kill you

Draken: did you do that thing where you intentionaly trigger people to get a reaction out of them

Draken: cause then i can vouch for Kazutora and say that Smiley would deserve it

Smiley: i only do that with you, Draken. it's really easy

Smiley: you're hot when you're mad

Smiley: i love seeing that vein pop out of that big ass head of yours

Smiley: makes me wonder what else is veiny

Angry: ew😠👎

Mikey: do you mean his penis?

Mikey: cause yeah it has like one vein

Baji: how do you even know that

Mikey: Emma has pictures

Draken: i'm gonna hurt you, Smiley

Smiley: see?

Smiley: easy

Angry: can you please stay on topic😐

Smiley: fine

Smiley: he tried to kill me cause i beat him at UNO

Smiley: insisted i cheated🙄

Mikey: did you?

Smiley: yeah

Angry: you find new ways to disappoint me big bro😡

Smiley: it's just a game lil bro 😁

Draken: one day, i'll do something i can't take back

Smiley: what, you'll fuck me?

Draken: enough

Angry: before you hurt Smiley, can we please talk about Tora

Angry: since you guys are super close

Angry: i really am worried

Chifuyu: he's fine

Angry: how do you know

Chifuyu: i'm with him like 24/7?

Chifuyu: okay maybe he's not fine fine, but Baji-san and i are dealing with it

Baji: he's going to therapy, so it's not like he's not getting help

Takemitchy: but what's wrong with him?

Takemitchy: oh, nevermind, i remember

Baji: how would *you* know🧐?

Takemitchy: uh

Takemitchy: i don't

Takemitchy: i just didn't want to look stupid!! yeah, that's it haha😅

Mikey: dude, you're gonna blow our cover

Mikey: when you could be blowing me instead 🤣🤣😭💔😂🍆💦

Mikey: anyway

Takemitchy: i don't know what to say anymore 😄

Angry: GUYS

Angry: PLEASE

Draken: see, idk if we should be disclosing why Kazutora's the way he is

Draken: isn't it like, super personal?

Baji: his dad used to beat him, real bad

Baji: his mom too. they'd fight all the time and they'd make him pick sides and shit

Angry: his mom also used to beat him🙁?

Baji: no, his dad would beat Tora and his mom

Baji: i set his dad's car on fire once 🔥

Draken: ...😐

Baji: what? it's not like he keeps it private. if you ask him, he'll tell you

Draken: yeah, we should have asked *him*

Baji: you don't get him like i do fr

Chifuyu: wait 😌🤚

Chifuyu: they don't love you like i love you 🫵

Baji: ?

Baji: i love you too?

Chifuyu: it's... it's a trend

Chifuyu: yk, on tiktok

Chifuyu: nevermind

Mikey: you look so fucking stupid🫵😭

Draken: why do i ever bother

Draken: i'm gonna leave this group for good

Mikey: you've been saying that for the past 10 years 🥱

Angry: oh😕

Angry: is there any way we can help him?

Smiley: man i feel like we should have known this

Smiley: that's why he gets so mad at "yo mama" jokes

Smiley: i feel bad now 😬

Baji: just don't talk about dad's or mom's or families at all

Baji: he's not gonna do anything, but i'm sure it hurts him inside

Mikey: we should find his dad and kill him

Mikey: amiryt guys

Draken: why are you so casual about murder

Draken: but i agree, this once

Mitsuya: you literally always agree

Kazutora: who are we killing

Kazutora:

Draken: why does it look like that

Kazutora: hang on, let me catch up

Draken: don't do that. we weren't talking about anything

Baji: we were talking about your abusive parents

Draken: 😐

Kazutora: ...

Kazutora: i thought i was hiding it well

Smiley: hiding what?

Kazutora: mental illness

Smiley: oh

Smiley: you weren't

Mikey: dude

Angry: there's something wrong with all of us! so it's okay

Smiley: yeah but it's more obvious with Kazutora

Draken: are you good tho?

Kazutora: yeah i'm fine. my dad came to the pet shop the other day and i guess i've been freaked out

Kazutora: but i killed him👍

Angry: 😧

Takemitchy: SHIT

Mikey: oh god, please tell me you're joking

Baji: dude😐

Kazutora: i'm joking lol

Kazutora: i just hit him several times in the head with a crowbar

Draken: ...

Draken: so you, killed him?

Kazutora: he's in the hospital. he's fine

Kazutora: well, he's in a coma, but he's alive

Smiley: dude, you're gonna go to jail?????

Kazutora: nahhh

Baji: fym "nahhh" ???

Kazutora: no evidence

Kazutora: i followed him home and he didn't see me

Takemitchy: what about camera's??

Kazutora: i have an alibi

Draken: holy shit you're gonna go to jail man

Draken: ok we need to have a meeting or something. plan of action

Mitsuya: Kazutora why would you do that man

Mikey: Kazutora

Mikey: do you know the amount of work you just undid😟

Mikey: why do you like bashing people's skulls so much holy shit 😓

Angry: what do we do

Kazutora: guys it'll be fine

Kazutora: my dad has so many ops. he's the worst guy ever. people hate him

Kazutora: and i stole some stuff so they'll just rule it as a mugging

Draken: ...or as an attempted murder😐

Kazutora: you guys are bumming me out😒

Draken: us????

Takemitchy: ok you know what

Takemitchy: let's all meet at my place

Takemitchy: we'll eat and drink and uh, discuss the situation at hand

Takemitchy: in a normal, non bumming out way

Mikey: we're cooked

Baji: i'll take the fall, if necessary

Mikey: holy shit i'm going to kill myself

Draken: THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU

Mikey: YES IT IS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

Takemitchy: we're cooked

[tellmeallaboutit]

a reflection of Roman Empire-esque devil society

what makes it Roman Empire-esque?

what do you mean, in canon? In canon it's not Roman Empire-esque at all. Why did I write it like that?

A bit of background on the whole thought process!

I was a bit taken aback how homophobic and penis-centric the whole Haarlep-related section was in a game that clearly is not like that otherwise ("bottom" as an insult, cannot last long = bad in bed as if penis is the only magical tool for orgasm, etc.). And when I thought it's just Haarlep's type of humour, I was taken aback by the reaction of Raphael to this very cheap insult. I could have imagined he would just snicker and snide at a tasteless (objectively) joke but HE DID NOT. He lost his holy shit, shaking from fury. And it is an insult included directly at masculine virility - imagine insulting Mizora by "you cannot last a minute in bed HAHA!!!", she would be like "pup... you okay there? do you need some water? who told you it's funny?"

So how come, I thought. And the only way it made sense for a man to react like that if Raphael himself is a product of a society with such beliefs and Haarlep knew where to hurt him most. Like ofc it's insulted pride, but it only works in a societal upbringing that perceives it as a grave insult.

And the more I thought about hells, the more it made sense. Most of the devils are male, most of the layers are ruled by devils looking like middle-aged men, the ones that are not are ruled by somebody's daughters / wives / proteges, it's very hierarchical, very power and status obsessed. Most of the devils can change their appearance at whim yet still present only as male. So, which society is male-based, ultra hierarchical, militaristic and high on order while still hedonistic?

That's right. The society where the insult quote unquote "I will sodomize you and face-fuck you,  cocksucker Aurelius and butt-boy Furius", from a male opponent to another male opponent originated and was like BURN LEVEL 9000.

Canon is not like that, but I unfortunately cannot make head or tails with canon hells, it's too contradiction-riddled for me, I do not understand how a society like that would even realistically function, so I basically threw the lore in the dumpster with HWLL and home-brewed most of the things.

[jade-kyo]

Just want to give a shout out to RvB tumblr for being as deranged as I am about this show. Had a conversation (if you can even call it that) with my brothers about the show yesterday and it was a huge wake up call that I am in fact Not Normal about this show and most people in fact watch it for the funny haha penis joke pregnant guy offensive humor aspect of the show and not for the heart wrenching themes of grief, war, loss, trauma, and military corruption and many actively dislike the fact that it gets more serious later on and also apparently think Miles is a bad writer

Not me tho I unapologetically love both sides of the show

[multiwreckedmess]

February Filth Fest - Day 7

Pairing: Wooyoung x fem!reader Kink: Aphrodisiacs/Overstim WC: 3.6k Summary: Thick as thieves you’ve seen Wooyoung on good days and bad days. Both of you have done some admittedly dumb things but you’re young and hot and a little reckless. So why is Wooyoung sitting on the sofa pouring sweat in the middle of February when you come home? TW/CW: Bratty!wooyoung, sub!wooyoung, dom!reader, undernegotiated kink, painslut!wooyoung, aphrodisiacs, dubcon, lots of humping (reader receiving), oral (reader receiving), degradation (m receiving), inhuman amounts of climaxes, coercion (heavy amounts underline bold), no pronouns used for reader but fem presenting body parts (vagina, breasts), Wooyoung is called names (toy, slut, dumb, bastard), unprotected penetration, multiple creampies

Additional discussion below the cut of TW/CW

Wooyoung is VERY much under the influence but also pressures the reader past their set boundaries. The reader does “consent” after a bit and has wanted to in the past but neither thing should truly count as consent. Neither party should be doing this and for that I’m labeling as dubcon. Do with that what you will. I wanted to stress again, this is fiction and you should talk to your partner outside of the bedroom before doing ANYTHING like this in the bedroom.

Wooyoung is sweating which is weird because every window in the small apartment you share is wide open with the fan on high. And it’s the middle of February. “Dude, you good?” Your smile is disconcerting despite your best efforts to look casual. Wooyoungs head snaps to look at you, eyes fluttering as he presses a pillow against his crotch. “It was a joke, a funny haha joke.” His eyes well with tears. “You know those miracle fruit tablets? You know when we all took them for fun and then did a blindfolded taste test and Hongjoong ate a radish but he liked it so he asked for more and we all made fun of him and called him radish boy for a week even though we all ate weird things that day and really it was good that he ate a vegetable for once in his life without making a face so I joked I was going to force feed him miracle berries every day?” Your eyes glaze as he rattles on, noting his uncomfortable wiggling and pressing of the pillow, mouth dropping open into a pained whine as he performs his one man show. “Yeah Wooyoung I remember, the tablets.” “Well I got more but I also got these sex gummies.” “Viagra.” “No. Maybe? I don’t know they just said ‘aphrodisiac’ and i thought ‘oh cool like oysters and chocolate covered strawberries I fucking doubt they’ll do anything’ but…” he trails off, eyelids fluttering. “God damn you look so fucking good today.” “Wooyoung is that my pillow?” You cautiously inch towards him. His knuckles are white gripping the blue cotton of your pillowcover. As you get closer you realize he smells like sweat and cum, the room being spared by the copious amount of ventilation. “No but really you look…” his speech is slow and dumb. A hand releases the pillow and grabs the zipper of your jacket fumbling with your outerwear. You swat at his hand, “it’s fucking freezing Wooyoung.” He whimpers like a hit puppy. “If I can close the windows you can take this off of me.” With a snap the living room is sealed shut again, Wooyoungs hands yanking your winter weather gear from you all the way down to your tshirt and jeans. “Do you always smell this good? You smell so fucking good.” Hands wandering everywhere his nose pressed to your chest rubbing his face into you. Wooyoung feels the room spinning, the closed windows allowing your scent to flood the space. He can barely hold onto a sliver of himself that isn’t a hormone filled sex crazed psycho. You stumble as his fingers grab and dig into the flesh of your ass. There's an obvious tent and a damp spot on the front of his sweats, no doubt soaked through by his predicament. “I think I’m going to die. I think my dick is gonna just pop. I don’t want a neo penis I like the one I have! Would you love me if I had a neo cock? People are into those these days, right?” Wooyoung sniffles and burbles frantically. There’s no way to escape his needy grasp so you opt to stroke his back. Endorphins flood his system, knuckles whitening. He shudders and moans, squeezing his eyes tight. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he chants, guilt settling heavy in his stomach. “It felt so good I’m sorry.” “Woo-” your voice low and soft and soothing, “did you just cum?” He nods, eyes cast down in shame. “I’m so sorry I can’t-I can’t-” his chest feels tight, eyes brimming with tears. “No Woo, it’s okay,” you continue to pet his back and speak softly. “Hey we can get through this together okay? Okay. How long has this all been happening?” He tries to think, nose wrinkling cutely in concentration. How long has it been? Honestly it felt like forever but in the scheme of things probably had only been an hour. Available snacks in the apartment had dwindled towards the end of the week and the bag of funny little penis shaped gummies were supposed to be his mid afternoon sugar hit to jolt him into productivity. It wasn’t until an hour or so after that he started to feel…strange. Antsy almost like a pot of coffee had been injected into his veins. “Maybe an hour? I think I ate it two hours ago so…an hour? I don’t know, I've cum three times already and I can't stop. It feels so good like you wouldn’t believe how good. Each time I feel like I’m going to die and piss and shit myself and you’d come home and see me dead covered in cum and piss and shit with my cock in my hand-” “WOOYOUNG,” you grab his face. “I don’t need to hear it, okay?” He mumbles an apology. As he’d warned he was already hard again, hips moving of their own accord rutting against your thigh again. “Let’s get you out of those pants okay?” You help him gingerly remove the pants, soaked with sweat and cum. The sight below makes you regret removing them, his boxers are far worse, the raw stench of sex filling the air. Wooyoung is already grappling back to you, almost physically unable to bear being apart. “JUNG WOOYOUNG,” you snap, “change your FUCKING boxers right now.” You wrench your arm from his grasp, summoning all the sternness in your soul to send him to his room. He scuttles sheepishly away, slamming drawers dramatically. In the meantime you go to investigate the kitchen, looking for the bag. Luckily you don’t have to look hard, the crumpled plastic conveniently placed just beside the trash can, as was his habit. Willy World’s Addictive Aphrodisiacs, emblazoned on the bag in pink bubble letters. A bearded lanky cartoon cowboy riding an erect penis sits in the lower left hand corner. No wonder he didn’t think these were serious. In bold subtitled below the heading “eat no more than four or you might need to get yourself a whore.” You grimace. Wooyoung’s slight but muscular body presses you into the counter, arms snaking up your front, cradling you close to him. “Couldn’t find you, thought you’d run,” he sniffs. “Don’t run okay? Please, I’m scared. You can’t leave me.” “Woo- how many were in the bag?” You try your best to hide the streak of panic in your voice. “I don’t know, many. I ate them all I didn’t count.” He’s rubbing his cheeks and nose all over your neck and shoulders again, not so subtle erection pressing into you again. “More than four?” You try to politely ignore the prodding of his cock as he squeezes your body in his hands. Grabbing fistfuls of your flesh as he groans. “Oh yeah. More than four.” He sighs, dragging his cock over the cleft of your ass. His spindly fingers already helping themselves to the top button of your jeans. “Fuck. Wooyoung.” He sighs dreamily, “yeah?” Sliding your fly down, tooth by tooth. You swat his hand again. “Wooyoung. You had more than four, it says no more than four.” He whimpers, loosening his grip just barely. “I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t think they were serious,” he whines, slowly reestablishing his hold on you. “You get it now don’t you? I’m so fucked. Please help me. Help me.” His hands return to your fly. “I promise, just let me grind on you a bit and I’ll be good. I’ll let you do what you need to do I just need-” You sigh and roll your eyes, sticking your ass out against him, phone in hand. “Fine. Rub your dumb dick on me. Just shut the fuck up and let me figure out how fucked you are.” Wooyoung thinks he might cum just from sheer giddy excitement, hastily yanking down your jeans and pressing his bulge to your ass, still covered in cute striped underwear. You let him practically drape himself over you as you lean forward on the counter, both elbows anchored to the stone counter. He pants in your ear, jostling your body with each thrust as you try to google reviews of the aphrodisiacs. The first listing is the site Wooyoung bought from, a gag gifts and tchotchke store with no written reviews opting for simple star ratings. The next listing is full of clearly automated reviews lacking substance and information. Your lips press into a thin line. The next three sites are just as hopeless and Wooyoung’s humping is getting more vigorous. He tries to bury his moans in your shoulder, the high pitched whines still reaching your ears. Still you are focused on helping your friend. Trying to hold your arm still to scan the ingredients list for clues you groan in frustration. Wooyoung grabs your breast with a gasp and a grunt, cumming in his boxers, leaving a suspicious damp spot on your ass. His full weight laying on your back relaxed he strokes your breast with his thumb where he assumes your nipple might be beneath the layers of clothes. 

You’d turn around to scold him but you’ve finally found something. A website that looks straight from the late 90s, black background with red comic sans burning itself into your retinas, and it seems to be an older woman’s sex toy review blog. Darla, a 50 year old housewife, reviews her finds on a bi-weekly basis and Willy World’s Addictive Aphrodisiacs is listed. She jokes about her dog accidentally stealing the first bag and needing to buy him four new stuffed plushies over the course of a full eight hours. The vet finally recommended a fertile female mate currently in her care to see if it would encourage quicker cessation of the symptoms which seemed to work.  She gave the product a seven out of ten, recommending both partners take the recommended dosage for best effect.

Both of Wooyoung’s hands cup your breasts, squishing and massaging their weight between his fingers. “You’re so wet you know. It’s not just because of my cock. I can feel it.” “You humped me within an inch of my life, it makes sense.” He presses two fingers against the crotch of your underwear, a sticky squelch of soaked fabric exposes your half truth. “My dick was nowhere near here, that’s all you. You wanna fuck your poor desperate friend, don’t you. You like that I need your help, that I’m all fucked out and needy for you. C’mon take advantage of me. I want you to. Use me. I deserve it. Use me like the dumb fuck toy I am.” His fingers rub against your clit in small insistent circles as he pleads. You gulp. He’s persuasive. It wasn’t like you hadn’t thought of it once or twice before, shamefully in the late night silence of your room. Maybe you’d even thought about cuddling up next to him on the couch, marathoning a drama. How nice it would be to just fuck him like you owned him. Struggling to keep yourself in line you force your brain back into emergency mode. One of you has to be the one in control, even if the other is steering in a dangerous direction. “Woo, you know I can’t. You’re my best friend. You’re my roommate. You’re my partner in crime. I can’t risk-” Sensing your weakness he launches his three pronged attack, hands working in tandem, one at your breast the other at your button, burying his teeth in the junction between your neck and shoulder right where he’s seen you shudder before when massaging you. Everything you fought with crumbles like it was made of sand. Phone clattering against the countertop you mewl, an undignified high pitched whine as you grasp at the smooth surface to ground yourself. “Extenuating circumstances,” he mumbles, kissing the red splotch, pleased with the small shudder he causes. “I could die. I really could.” In reality at worst he’s in for another 4 hours of this, you assume based on previous experiences with his metabolism, unlikely that he dies. But the one reviewer did say that- the train of thought is cut off abruptly by the thrumming of your clit. How the fuck did he get so good at that? This was not how you’d imagined it at all. “You fucker, you bought c minus sex gummies and didn’t even leave any for me,” you turn to face him, having to arch your back over the counter to look him in the eye. “Okay well next time-” You smack his arm. “Bed. Now. You’re going to fucking pay for this somehow.” Wooyoung practically skips to his bedroom, heart light and grinning from ear to ear. Tossing ruined socks and underwear in the approximate direction of his hamper he hears the soft patting of your feet approaching. He could cum just from anticipation. Turning he sees you there in his door. The demon inside of him stills. “Fuck,” he whispers to himself. Wearing only your underwear and t-shirt, hair in a messy bun, smudged mascara fallout coating your lower lash line, you’re so fucking sexy to him. It’s better than any lingerie because it’s how he knows you and he finally gets to have you to himself. Sat on the edge of his bed, eyes half lidded with lust, boxers doing nothing to conceal his prominent bulge. You watch his eyes drink you in and you make up your mind right there. Go with it. Whatever shenanigans Wooyoung got himself into before you’d always been there and you’d be there until the end. A smirk tugs at the corner of your lips as his hand clenches his thigh, chest rising and falling with a shaky exhale. Sauntering over you place one leg between his, straddling him to place your other knee on the bed. “You sure about this?” He turns his head to the side and kisses your wrist softly, earnestly, so carefully your heart hurts. Gazing up at your face, your flyaways forming an angelic halo, his eyes clear from the lust induced haze if only for a second. “You won’t regret it.” “Big talk from a man who came from a single back rub.” He tugs on your panties, face buried in your lower belly, kissing and sucking red spots into your hips. “You don’t even know how long I’ve wanted to eat you out. Can’t wait to feel your thighs tremble around my face,” Wooyoung rants like a crazed man, tangling himself around you as you try to step out of your underwear. “You smell like candy and strawberries. Do you know that? Every time after you shower the whole apartment smells like you.” His hands scoop under your ass nearly pulling your legs over his shoulders. Tongue running up your inner thigh he dives in messily sucking and licking your slit, burying his face deep between your thighs, bridge of his nose eagerly grinding into your clit. You grab onto the mop of hair that is Wooyoung to try to steady yourself. “Fuck Woo-what the fuck-” you gasp as he flicks his tongue. “Why are you so good?” The more you wiggle the harder he grabs your ass. His whiny moans vibrate your most intimate parts, tip of his tongue just able to tease your entrance.  Your thighs tense, “Woo-Wooyoung-Woo- I’m- I don’t wanna- hurt you�� you grunt,  tugging his hair sharply, forcing him to look up at you. “Use me. Use me to get off.” His voice is hoarse and desperate, your sounds driving him to the brink. “I like it.” His eyes are hazy, slowly pushing his tongue forward to kitten lick your clit, waiting for your next move. “Fuck it, fine,” you groan, pushing his head to you again, his mouth buzzing your mound in delight. Looking down into his eyes you roll your hips against his face, his eyes rolling back to whites, arms assisting each drag of your slit. “You’re right Woo- you got yourself into this mess and you made it my problem. I should get to have some fun from your dumbass mistake.” Slowly trailing a hand up your shirt to play with your nipple you fuck his face with abandon, losing yourself in the loud pops and gasps of your lovers ministrations. Your thighs tense once more so hard you fear you could pop his head clean off but you’re too far gone, walls clenching and pulsing as you cum. Wooyoung whimpers, threatening to topple backwards onto the bed as his abs seize up, cumming untouched in his already ruined boxers. Cupping the back of his neck you roll him back onto the bed, a drunken smile plastered on his ruined face, tongue circling his lips to clear himself of the remnants.

You unceremoniously strip him of his boxers, bunching them and wiping his thighs clean of his fluids. A moment of gentleness. As the gummies had advertised, he’s still impossibly hard and ready to go. Thick and veiny and nearly throbbing purple and red, you see what he meant by thinking it might just burst.

“I’m going to fuck you now Woo, okay? Where are your condoms?” You break your character, backing away from his bed. “NO,” Wooyoung sits bolt upright. “I need to feel you. I need to. Please I can’t. I’ll go insane being that close. I really will. I need to - I need you to let me - please let me-” “Jung Woo Young, do you really think-” “I’m clean, I know you’re clean after that asshole cheated you went to the clinic and I know i wasn’t supposed to but i overheard you and I know I see you take pills every day and I can go buy plan b when this is all over-” he babble just like he was when you found him, lower lip quivering. “I’ll be so good and if you if we-if it takes I’ll be the best dad if you wanna or I can wait in the waiting room and I’ll cook your favorite meal-”

Closing your eyes you sigh, putting the role back on. You push him, both hands to his shoulders, back onto the bed. Crawling over top of him he continues prattling on and on so far into the future it’s nearly nonsense. “Woo-” you speak lowly, looking up through your eyebrows at him. He doesn’t notice. So you slap him. Not enough to turn his head but enough to shock him back to earth.with wide eyes and a moan. ”I’m going to fuck you now Wooyoung, you better watch carefully because it’s only happening once.”

Hovering just close enough to slot him snugly in your entrance you steady yourself with one hand on his side and slide down onto him. Wooyoung pupils dilate with each disappearing inch, veins in his neck bulging as he focuses on where you meet, afraid he might miss even a millisecond. He feels velvety and warm and fills you nicely, stretching your walls from tip to base as you settle with him fully inside you.

“I’m gonna-” “Shut the fuck up Wooyoung.” You grind your hips on him. “Toys don’t talk.” His jaw drops, abs tensing. Two potent drives tear him apart. The need to cum and the need to please. Brows furrowed and eyes closed he tries his best to focus on anything but how good he feels. The second he dares sneak a peek he throbs against your walls, spilling into you. “Sorry.” He squeaks. You both pause, waiting. Worried it might be over just as it starts. Your hips continue swiveling on him in small circles. He doesn’t soften. “You still good Woo?” “Fucking Willy World’s Addictive Aphrodisiacs. Yeah. Very much.” “Can I just- I’m going to do what feels good for me because everything seems to do it for you.” “Oh, yeah. Of course.”

You drag your hips back and forth, one hand holding his thigh, the other on his stomach. Chasing your high you close your eyes and tilt your head back, letting out a deep throaty moan. Sweating and trembling you tug at the hem of your shirt uselessly. Two hands trail up your thighs to help it off of you. “Woo, you feel really good.” You whine, taking his hand and placing it on your thigh, holding it there.

Wooyoung could die then and he wouldn’t care. The softness of your skin, the way your breasts bounce as you rut against him, the pout of your lips in a soft “O” shape, and best of all his cum dripping slowly out around him mixed with you. He can feel another climax on the horizon. Almost painfully cramping his muscles as your cunt milks him for another load. Seeing white it’s all worth it for your choked moan. His fingernails dig into your thighs as his hips thrust up and push him even deeper into you, head of his cock just kissing your cervix as he coats your walls once more with a painful grunt. Deep relief washes over his whole body, like a weight lifts off and his soul floats halfway between life and death. Rest. Finally rest.

“That’s it, my good boy. My Wooyoung. My good little horny bastard. Still there? Still with me?” Your eyes are equally as unfocused as his now. Exhausted but still slowly working down your aftershocks. In the pleasant haze you feel him drop out of you as he softens. Trying to shuffle off him to clean up he flips you onto your side wordlessly and pulls you to him. “It’s over?” “Mhmm,” he buries his nose in your wilted bun. “Your sheets-” “Later.” “Wooyoung.” You flip yourself onto your stomach to look at him, scowling as a glob of cum drips from your used cunt. “I love you. Sheets later. Cuddles now.” His palm rubs between your shoulder blades as you snuggle into his side. “Next time I’ll save some for you.” Because of course there would be a next time.

Okay so yes i let this one get away from be but I’ve been wanting to write some good ol’ fuck or die sort of scifi bullshit for a while.

[essentiallyleaf]

day 26. selfcest. with. miyeon.

854 words.

tags.

kinktober ‘23, idol x futa!idol (???), selfcest, narcissist miyeon, supposedly a mostly comedic piece but at the same time it’s not very funny, narrator might sound too salty though really they’re just annoyed [beep beep cop out alert beep beep], the real cop out is that miyeon sounds awfully similar to me in this and that’s scary, okay maybe outside of the selfcest part, this entire fic is a huge cop out for me having zero creativity and wit to be honest, sorry for the excessively long tags i’ll stop now, no i won’t, yes i will, no i- okay not funny.

notes.

-5. honestlycantwaitfortheendofoctoberly, leaf.

Miyeon always wanted to write an autobiography, maybe a script, or rather, to get it written for her, ‘cause “Who’s got the time for that, y’knowhatImean?”, and definitely not because she hasn’t used pen and paper for anything other than autographs since she - barely - got out of high school; “Maybe a book of quotes, that could be quicker. What? Whose quotes, you asked? Mine, who else’s? HaHA”

Nah, her life is not really book material. It’s more like a b-movie (or, Bee even?), with all the bad jokes and none of the ironic laughs. This one time she was asked, if you could describe your entire life in a frame - one shot, one opportunity; would your mom be making spaghetti in it? - what would it be? With an intense glare and an abnormal amount of dramatic pauses in between she answered, probably me, in front of a mirror, side-eyeing my own reflection, y’kno, because I, am my only, enemy, the biggest obstacle, on the road to success; wow, that deserves a spot in the book.

It doesn’t come as a shock that a person like her had weird dreams, dreams where she randomly comes across a woman that looks exactly like her, and starts researching about her, trying to get more information, discover where the woman comes from, what she does in her life; it also doesn’t come as a shock that none of that is a product of her own imagination, she just really likes any film with Jake Gyllenhaal in it and can’t come up with any original ideas, even in the hours of the day when her unconscious is completely free and unbound from the chains of the real, or even of the realistic. Joining this exhibition of the unshocking, the first words that Miyeon utters when she gets to meet the woman (even in a dream, where every texture, every face is out of focus and blurred, where humans have twelve fingers and mushrooms have eight legs, she can see the woman’s features clearly - almost like she spent about the same amount of time in a day sleeping and looking in the mirror and could draw her own face blindfolded - and they exactly resembles her own) are “Oh my God, I look so beautiful”. So beautiful that she wants to feel the woman’s sharp, V-lined jaw, her perfectly angled, straight, thin nose, her thick, juicy, pink lips and fuck, how good they’d feel on-

Her tongue invades the double’s mouth like she’s about to have a taste of heaven, and ascending is what Miyeon does as she gets a sample of her own flavor. She feels the woman’s body up all over, hungry for contact, swiping and gripping and tugging now on her soft thighs, now on her bouncy cheeks, now on her perky tits. I need this real fucking fast, she thinks as she feels dampness between her legs, so she kneels to pull the dress of the other her up to her waist, and what she finds is no underwear (it would have been worrying to know that her perfect double does wear it, to be fair) and a gargantuan semi-erect penis. An absolute utopia, truly, for Miyeon to be in front of the two things she loves the most, fused together: herself and dick. No questions asked then, - and honestly, who’s ever questioned anything in their own dreams, even when it’s sucking yourself off - she wraps her lips around the mushroom head and starts bobbing like it’s her favorite hobby, and it is. It’s like she’s practiced her entire life for the moment she gets to taste the cock she never knew she wanted, and that cock thrusts hard back into her moaning throat because only one can know what she always wanted. And as Miyeon loses herself, - in the music, the moment - that’s where it stops, and her body is turned around and put on all fours, her round ass in the air. She feels her slick being spread around and onto her puckered hole, and as the woman’s tip pushes into her back entrance. One thrust in, and then out. Two, a little further. The third time, the huge girth leaves her hole gaping. Four, five, six, and when she loses count (quite soon, and not because of her poor math abilities), that’s when she breaks. That’s when her moans turn into screams, when her hand automatically goes to her clit and starts rubbing, the pleasure from her own fingers causing her muscles to relax even more and her double’s length to reach even deeper into her. The sound of hips bumping into cheeks and of her own feral wails is all she hears before she feels herself cumming and concurrently several spurts of cum fill her ass.

When Miyeon wakes up she has another quote for her book in mind, one to be remembered for generations to come, surely, and just as surely not a stolen one: the opportunity to meet face to face with your greatest enemy comes once in a lifetime - and the enemy will certainly not miss her chance to blow.

-

footnotes.

getting repetitive. contritely, leaf.

[loopeyfluff]

Spiderman across the spiderverse thoughts and spoilers underneath read more. it's all just gushing, do not expect a proper review.

That. Was. Fucking. Insane. That was the best movie I’ve watched. Literally captivated from start to finish. WHAT AN EXPLOSIVE INTRODUCTION?! with gwen stacey and her drums? Such powerful animated movements, in fact ALL THE ACTION SCENES carried SUCH GOOD WEIGHT, made SUCH GOOD USE OF THEIR ENVIRONMENT, and were just generally so well choreographed! The first villain was just so visually stunning and animated, I LOVED his style. And the humour from the very start was just, on point. This entire movie WAS SOOOO FUNNY. IT WAS HILARIOUS! Hahaha the lego spiderman scene? How miguel was like, “you’re one of the best of us” XDDD. And omg the MAIN ANTOGNIST IS THE BAGEL GUY. I CANNOT. THATS SO HECKING FUNNY. HAHAHHWYWHAJABWHAJJAHAHAHAH.

Such a visually stunning movie man. Like the first one was amazing, but this somehow topped that. The ENVIRONMENTS AND WORLDS THAT WE EXPLORED WERE SOOOO BEAUTIFULLY CONSTRUCTED? Indian spiderman- just everything about him was hilarious- had such an amazing universe, just the layered upon layers of buildings and roads EVERYWHERE. omg HOBY??? I LOVE HOBY MAN. How earlier he was like, miles u gotta use ur palms too not just ur fingers, and then he was also very established to be an against capitalism and institution type man, AND OMG MY GUY AAAAAA HELPING MILES OUT!!!! WHEN NO ONE ELSE WAS DOING ANYTHING FOR HIM??? HOBY’S A REAL ONE GUYS I LOVE HIM.

MAYDAY WAS ADORABLE! Peter being such a doting father was so adorable and EVERYTHING. Like that sequence of him showing all the baby pictures to miles and gwen, and then when he told miles that he should HOLD THE BABY IT’LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTTER!!!! And ofc it did XD THAT TRAIN FIGHT SCENE??? SO MANY MOVIES HAVE TRIED IT BEFORE, BUT THIS WAS THE ABSOLUTE SICKEST TRAIN FIGHT SCENE IVE EVER SEEN. Just the train BULLETING UPWARDS, and then the call back to the leap of faith?

AHHHH but also! So many wonderful computer screen background worthy shots within this film. I absolutely adored the way they kept having the spider people sit and hang upside down. It made so many visually stunning scenes! Like when they were going up the elevator,,, AND THEY WERE ALL UPSIDE DOWN!!! AARHEGEH SOOO COOOL!!!!

Oh man but that brief appearance of peni parker! SHE LOOKED SO TIRED :(!!! URGEGWHW WE GOT TO SEE SPIDERHAM AND SPIDERNOIR AT THE END BUT MAN I RLLY WISH I CUDA SEEN MORE OF THOSE GUYS WYHWHAHWUIAKjahauai!!1!1!?1!1!1 I was so happy when they finally appeared with gwens group of spider allies tho ; - ;!!!!!

Okay back to bagel guy, what a fun and hilarious opening and introduction? Hahaha trying to steal the atm machine and their whole banter, it was just so funny. Amazing introduction. I loved miles’ roommate too! I wish we got to see more of him haha.

Oh oh oh, I loved all of the impact frames in this movie, and also the speech bubbles and sound effects and other fun comic style things, but the glossary squares that kept appearing on screen??? AMAZING!!!! I would love to go through this movie again and just pause and read over everything! THE COLOURS WERE SOOOO GOOD IN THIS MOVIE??? THIS MOVIE REALLY STOOD OUT FOR ME IN IT’S PALETTES! SOME SCENES WERE JUST COMPOSED SO BEAUTIFULLY I JUST AYWHAHAHWUJAHAHAHAH!!!!

The plot twist at the end was so good. It was so well built up too, there were so many hints and what not but it only hit me when aaron showed up… the mom’s eyes being different, her not knowing who spiderman is,,, earlier when the screen got the WRONG DNA,,, and also just the different colour palette? So many good clues. I’m over here laughing at how anticlimactic the mom is taking the news, and then AARON SHOWS UP. And the revelation HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK MAN. IT WASN’T A JOKE.

can we talk about the amazing sound track and sound design for this movie??? I watched this in VMAX which is a cinema which had a larger screen and louder speakers, and wow, I WAS SOOO IMMERSED MAN. Not only does the music SLAP and match each new place so well, but it just adds so much to the viewing experience!!!!

This movie was an absolute masterpiece. Wow. Jesus. The first movie was like my favourite movie. But this somehow TOPPED THAT???? Insane.

[sterakraffulz78]

This is hilarious and fateful

I saw the episode, and I never really thought that wasting time like this would be a suffering that lasted too long. I'm going to get good and bad things from what I saw

first for good, okay?

1. The deaf imp

In itself, I was very surprised by this character and to tell the truth I can consider him better than the other deep and sad Pseudos that only serve to make the panties get wet because of the Fujoshits, and it is something that in this program is seen very little or is scarce in Yes, it made me tender that Fizz treated him well.

2. Fizz and Asmodeus' relationship

What can we say, the relationship itself is healthy, and superior to many of both series and when Asmodeus protected Fizz it is something nice on his part, not like a certain owl who is only interested in the red cock who is a tremendous fucking creep unable to defend his """"little""", this relationship is one of the few salvageable things in this series

Now with the bad things

3. The songs

For the love of God... why? All the songs seem forgettable and super stupid to me, it seems that the only thing this chapter does is create time and necessary filler that will never contribute or amount to anything

4. The imp hater by fizarolli

This was expected, it doesn't surprise me much to tell the truth... just imagine that you are so hurt by harmless criticism of your program that you only hope for a good change and to be guided to do a good deed, but you prefer to spend and overexploit the Poor workers who only want some money to encourage your resentment in a lively way, this is ridiculous and makes others feel sorry for Viviana Medrano

5. Mammon

This is the first most annoying, loudest and most obnoxious thing I've ever seen followed by Chaz, the only thing he knows how to say is pure rudeness in every damn sentence, it's a fucking audiovisual blister that seems to never end, apart from the cringe I feel about it, the Deadly sins of this show will never be taken seriously and more that sexist phrase about "Women are not funny" and then you're dead... Damn you Medrano bitch, can't you at least respect a simple woman even if she has a tertiary role in your shitty program? (And ironic why you make penis jokes and swear words to wait for someone to laugh and praise you)

6. I HOPE THEY FUCK YOU BLITZ

Is it really necessary to put Blitz in every episode? For the love of God, am I already sick of listening and seeing that red cringe guy making those embarrassing faces and hearing his voice why can't I listen to Brandon normally anymore without remember this abusive and manipulative guy swearing!? They shoehorned this guy in just to get "laughs" and make him stick to Fizz when he was given the biggest tragedy of his life

7. Good vs bad, hAha ​​tHeY aRe RiGht wHy tHEy aRe nExT To thE bOyS aNd uwu sOfT

As always, our wonderful writing writing the bad characters, like the black ones in this Turkish soap opera and making them caricatures for mockery and portraying them as the soft boys and uwu the good ones. These characters are already predictable, if there is a soft and sore young gay uwu, he will be the good one because he is the soft and sore young gay uwu and we are all forced to take his side, while those who have the potential to be good villains like Striker, you position them as silly, cartoonish and you are the generic antagonist of a series for children under 6 years old, for example Asmodeus against Mammon

It's good that the views are getting lower and lower, so soon we won't be able to stand this series in decline and the next more ridiculous, repulsive, mediocre, cringe and pathetic chapter written by a ridiculous, mediocre, cringe, pathetic, misogyny, sexist, Transphobic , racist, xenophobic writer who only ruined her own work so that her little friends the Fujoshits (I already saw you SatorRojas, TeaTheKook and Dani) get their panties wet and buy more panties again to get them wet because they can't stand two boys together

[fru1tb3tz]

what makes you penis laugh

when haha funny penis joke and my cock also has to get in a good chuckle.

[likeadog]

the barbie movie like. ok so [spoilers and long paragraphs under the cut]

yeah it was really basic ideologically it didnt cover all the various intersections and theories of feminism but i think when people saw conservatives flipping their shit people expected it to be like, a manifesto. its a film, and more importantly, it's the Barbie Movie. i think expecting a gender and womens studies class from it would be silly, and while i get why people are disappointed in how much sympathy it lends to the men in the movie, i dont think like, once again, that was ever something to not expect?

furthermore on that point i think showing misogyny from a place of defining the self around a sense of loneliness by men isn't...far off. theres never an excuse for misogyny but thats rhetoric that radicalizes a lot of incels and shit i would rather that than they treat it like some mysterious miasma.

also, i think, once again while it was pretty basic in the ideas it presented... how often is it show that explicitly in broad-audience film? like stated directly to the audience in that manner? theres no flirting with the feminist theory in the movie; it says it outright, which is something a lot of films shy away from out of fear of alienating men once it becomes too "girl power"-y. im not usually for the use of a lot of buzzwords in film and discussion of issues but these buzzwords are never said with cheapness or to obfuscate. it could be heavyhanded at times, but that heavyhandedness wasnt ever really obnoxious? it walked the line of "haha silly" but still took its point seriously enough that you could appreciate the use of that heavyhandedness for comedic effect without being mocked

i also think the fact they just like "solve" the patriarchy in the barbie world isnt meant to imply that you can just fix the real world with a woman president or by being aware of misogyny. in fact a lot of the movie is dedicated to showing how the barbie world and real world are different. the conclusion of the movie is that barbie wants to become human, even though the human world is messy and unsolved and nothing like she assumed it was. she believed barbie had solved misogyny forever, which is a direct jab at the idea that any "one thing" or "girl power" movement can just suddenly whisk away the very power structures that created that sort of oppression.

its very much coming from a cis/heterosexual/white basis. they flirt with further intersection but dont commit, which im really not a fan of. my friends after the film were like "it was more homoerotic than i expected haha" and...yeah, it was, but it didnt do anything to address gayness or what that means in such a heavily gendered heterosexual society. you could read that subtext through allen and his thing.... but allen is a joke. his story is never resolved. hes one of the guys but he isnt, hes one of the girls but he isnt, he benefits not at all from "kendom" but conversely is not oppressed the way the barbies are and vice versa. he's just allen, and the only allen there is. when sasha and her mom want to go back to help barbie, the fact he just goes "God im never getting out of here" and thats just like, left was kinda. well. it was something for sure.

still. i know i just wrote like 200 words on the ideology of this movie but first and foremost its a pg13 comedy meant to be shown to broad audiences in theaters for money. its meant to be an enjoyable watch, and it is! its a gorgeous film, its funny, the songs are fine, and the way it makes its side comments arent distracting nor meanspirited. it knows when to take itself seriously, and i like that. i was actually expecting it to be a general audiences like, kids movie i was so fucking surprised when barbie said penis.

i also think saying the line at the end about the gynecologist is like "saying you need a vagina to be a real woman" is disingenuous honestly. one its meant to be a bit of a shock quip to get a giggle but two i think a lot of people who need gynecological care (which can include trans women) are afraid when it comes to that first visit and finally sitting down and talking about those areas because of the shame and lack of proper education. maybe its bc i grew up mormon but i dont think its meant to imply thats what MADE barbie a real woman or that its fundamental to being one.

once again it definitely isnt a perfect movie. i think the way the ken and barbie talk happened at the end was still a bit coddly and the scope of the ideology underneath the movie was, once again, still very much centered in white cishetero society and thought with only passing mentions of intersectionality that felt both shallow and (especially with the gayness and racial dynamics) occasionally like it was being turned into a joke

still all in all it was a pretty good movie. weird barbie #1. allen get behind me i will protect u

[aegoneggon]

I can’t get over how that Aegon/Larys scene was interrupted by the writers own need to insert dick jokes like ‘haha isn’t it so funny to joke about losing your penis?? Hahaha 🤣’ the scene could have been so good without that wtf were they thinking