#haha fortunate. like. Like. Like

[thecoolerliauditore]

beauty of the divorce quartet actually is that no matter where you draw the relationship lines you get a fun and fucked up dynamic to think about

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

he'll get it eventually

[dramashutup]

They look like a mafia family for the iqiyi scream night 2024 award event :3

I love the hair color on HMH <3

I didn't really pay attention to who won which awards; I know HMH and Chen Duling did receive an award individually and together, I was paying more attention to their arrival clothes and photoshoot than the award show itself lol. As I always do with other award shows too pffftt

[dramas-and-stuff]

So, about this exchange:

He greets him like that, but then ZYZ:

Ouch? </3 haha...

I know Lilun made the wrong choices, BUT look at him. His "so you haven't changed your mind..." expression there makes me think that deep down, he hoped ZYZ would reconsider his anger towards him after not seeing him for so long, but no... poor thing just missed his best friend!

[mengyan]

i had been made into an archer, the shadows suiting me best; you were a sun-bright girl forced into immortality, eternal servitude to chosen sacrifice for the people.

i think the first thing you taught me was absurdity. no one that knew me ever dared— through these years i’d become as much of a man as the rest, and it was rare for someone to think of wanting me. not that you did— did you? did you want me, wen xiao, or did you not think so much and just trusted that i would catch you?

sleep was always restless when it came. the heartbreak in a-heng’s new-blue eyes always marked the end of my dreams, because i was too afraid back then to turn around and see the rest of him. one month was enough to grow sick of my chambers, and i retired only when i could no longer keep my eyes open.

but then: a forest, a sea. fog cleared and the ink of you kissed my palm, calling me awake.

xiao, for daybreak, but if i allowed my tongue to loosen just the slightest— xiao, for you.

was it then that i became unable to see much else? was it then when i started seeking you first in every room, your voice in every pitch, your hands, arms, fingers touching mine— and me racing to reach you before you changed your mind? was it then that my heart wavered, and i thought, perhaps, that the dark wasn’t so lonely after all?

i never intended to keep you. i knew your eyes strayed elsewhere— i always noticed you first, but so did he, and him, and everyone that has ever met you. the fate of a goddess, maybe, to be beloved by all, to spill her love as floods to the people— but i knew you had long found your home in the soul of one. bloodbound by contract, kindred through heart and mind— how often i’d find myself rushing to stand before you only for him to already be there. 

the place by your side was never meant to be filled by me. but wen xiao, i’m no less absurd than you taught me to be. i would pray to a false god if it would make you safer; i would shoot even at the heavens if they tried to take you. flesh and blood is all i can offer you— is it too much to let me shield you with it?

later the worst of winter stole away your beloved, your closest friend, but kept me. still alive, rosy-cheeked and frostbitten on my knees in front of you, but the snow might as well have buried me too. live with me, die with them— and you picked up the dagger.

what does that mean, wen xiao? what am i supposed to do about what that means? you pulled me from the abyss, but am i not worthy enough to do the same for you?

the cold began to cling to me. one by one we lost the best and bravest of us, and i could do nothing to stop it. i thought myself useless, a drag, but you took my hand and said, so earnest, so warm, so thawing— i need you. you wouldn’t lie to me, but how badly i wish it were the truth.

it had been at least four fortnights since i’d ceased being afraid, since the fears in my heart stopped festering. they never disappeared, but i could stare at them head-on now, knowing that what a mortal lacks is only the difference of a body. you said that you thought of me as irreplaceable, and so i believed that’s what i was.

a fool’s tenacity is, perhaps, the strongest of all.

i woke to everyone but three gone, your tears pouring from the skies. he left to him white streaks in his hair, horseback roaming, world seeking; he left to you an age-old vow on paper, in jade, an impermanent parting, a once-more isolation.

and you left to me not even a farewell.

how is it that the demon hunting bureau is fuller than ever yet so grave with silence? how is that what i guard is no longer home to anyone that used to live in it?

i must be going mad, sometimes, to hear bells that no longer ring, bickering that never ends, idioms i’ll never be able to correct; to smell food i’ll never taste again, wine i’ll never get to drink, sulfur from cases unsolved; to see golden eyes, the rustle of notebook pages, the swoop of a brush— and feel the lilt of you, so willing for me to stay.

and so, absurdly, ridiculously, stupidly— i’m still here, wen xiao, and this is how i’ll remain. come and see me just once, and ask me what i asked you. three hundred years in a sundial: was it hard? the rest of my life with only your memory to keep me company— i’ll answer you the same.

don’t you want to know what my big-as-him secret is? i’ll give you a hint: if you see him in the rain, i see you in stone. just as pillars hold up these roofs, this city— the cliff i hung from was too-steep, yet you held me by the soles of my feet, dug yourself into my palms, and said look up, pei-jiejie. dawn has come.

the morning will always return after night. but wen xiao, when will you?

[ryuki-draws]

She hasn't been let near the kitchen her whole life

[weaselishmcdiesel]

katnep katnep katnep katnep katnep katnep

How sad, how lovely How short, how sweet To see the sunset at the end of the street

How Sad, How Lovely - Connie Converse

some katnep angst for you :)?

[i-cast-zone-of-truth]

So something I really like is how Thich Nhat Hanh defines love in Teachings On Love (I mean, it’s Buddhism, but that comes in a lot of varieties, many of which center concepts differently than this one, etc).

Any way. Pretty much the first thing he does in the book is explain The Four Immeasurable Minds: love, compassion, joy, and equanimity. None of those are defined exactly the way i’d have thought, from a culturally Christian perspective. And in more than one of them he stresses the importance of understanding the beloved. In fact, to the point that understanding is a PREREQUISITE to being able to love someone at all well. And seeking that understanding as a skill that can be cultivated.

What I’m getting at is: the more Zhuo Yichen understood Zhao Yuanzhou, the more he loved him. Even more so, the more Li Lun understood Zhao Yuanzhou, the better he was able to love him. Zhao Yuanzhou, although he came at his new friends with a lot of benevolence, hurt them by assuming about them instead of trying to understand. And that’s really real. (Wen Xiao was miles ahead of everyone with this skill).

I’ve tended to think, ok if I love someone I’ll want to understand them. But it’s really turning out to be that understanding is necessary for love that feels like love to the other person to be possible in the first place.

[rudnitskaia]

yay a week until my 29th bday ✨🔥😎🔥✨

[snek-eyes]

My point here is... what's my point Well, Mr. Brown clearly had his life changed when Crowley sauntered in wearing that turtleneck, if only he knew about ole Disco Tony's mustache! Some kind of underrated duo potential here.

[thunderheadfred]

I won’t be able to use the tub tonight because the silicone needs to dry around the drain, but I have been promised a bath as soon as tomorrow evening!!!!

I had a short bath in the hospital recovery room, (not counting the actual water birth) but this will be my first relaxing at-home soak since then and I am SO. READY

I don’t even need walls, just tub

[sysig]

You say “Jump” I say “Forget it” (Patreon)

[chemicalarospec]

Gabilliam isn't even rpf to me it's a collective hallucination vision received from angels of god myth passed down from the elders of LiveJournal

[kelbunny]

Hi sir, you know your son probably wouldn't have died if you didn't put so many sheer drops all over your castle. I'm just saying.

Also, rude. And Denam is terrifying to fight. Never again please.

(Now my team is slightly different after this bc I had to restart the battle bc I was getting my butt kicked)

I laughed harder than I probably should have when everyone started facing the direction the voice was coming from, regardless of if they were an ally or doppelganger lol.

And despite how rough that fight was, everyone made it out alive. Barely.

You can't hecking do this to me asdfghjkl

Catuia I miss you sm aaaaghhh

He has a crown! At least until he is shot and killed rip, if I'm understanding everything correctly

😌😎

No dying allowed here thank you very much

You don't say lol.

[cacturne]

i will start with trespasser tomorrow i will spend the rest of the night gleefully shimmying around (mimicry of dance)

[monstrousproductions]

I trust your taste

Can you recommend some fiction books? Fantasy is highly appreciated!

Oooh what a sign of trust!! OK so I don't actually read a huge ton of fantasy, so I'll do my best with a couple of non-fantasy that I just can't resist mentioning at the end.

Also, this got... a bit long... so I'm putting it under a Read More lol

A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K Le Guin - classic fantasy about a boy who becomes a great wizard. I realise this is likely one you've already read, as a fantasy fan, but it's a classic for a reason! Absolutely beautiful, and really powerful for me as a Quaker because of its rejection of the idea that fantasy must always be about The Goodie winning over The Baddie by doing killing better than them. If you've read it already, read it again lmao Also there's a new audiobook that came out a few years ago read by Kobna Holdbrook-Smith which is just brilliant.

The Fifth Season by NK Jemisin does come with a decent load of content warnings so do tread carefully if necessary, but it's also the best fantasy I've read in YEARS. The book is split over three different narratives in a world where magic users are an oppressed class, and again the audiobooks are amazing, read by Robin Miles.

Meanwhile I very much do NOT recommend the audiobook for Assassin's Apprentice by Robin Hobb, though I did enjoy the book when I read it. The audiobook is, I believe, read by an American putting on what he thinks is an English accent, and um. Well. It sure is something. It's pretty classic fantasy too, and one of those books that you're like "what in God's name do you mean, this wasn't intended to be gay??"

The Heavens by Sandra Newman always makes my rec lists because it made me cry a lot and it's just very beautiful. Again the narrative is split, one taking place in an alternate, utopian present and one in Elizabethan England, with the narratives linked by the fact that the Elizabethan stuff is happening in the dreams of the woman in the present.

My favourite book ever is Fire & Hemlock by Diana Wynne Jones, it's about an unlikely friendship between a girl and a young man with lots of fae things and that brilliant blending of magic and reality that DWJ does so well. It's so much my favourite that when I recommend it to friends, I ask them to please not tell me if they didn't like it - just pretend you didn't read it haha Honestly I recommend any DWJ, but F&H is my baby <3

Lud-in-the-Mist by Hope Mirrlees was one of those books I read once that just stayed with me. It's about a Perfectly Ordinary English Town that sees an influx of fairy fruit and has to deal with that, and while I'm fuzzy on remembering the details, I know I loved it!

And then because I actually read more SF than fantasy as a general rule, here's a jumble of SF titles that I adore (though I'll spare you the waffle!):

the Imperial Radch triology by Ann Leckie about a troop carrier who becomes a person (she also has a fantasy book - The Raven's Tower - if that appeals more and all her audiobooks in the UK are read by Adjoa Andoh who I would simply die for)

the Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells, about a security bot who becomes a person (audiobooks are read by Kevin R Free, of Nightvale fame, and they're brilliant)

This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone, about two soldiers in warring time-travel factions sending letters to each other (also made me cry)

To Be Taught If Fortunate by Becky Chambers, about space researchers who change their bodies to adapt to the worlds they find and what ethical issues they come up against

The City We Became by NK Jemisin, about people who become living avatars of the different districts of New York to fight an alien presence (also a good audiobook - Robin Miles again)

All Our Wrong Todays by Elan Mastai, about a man from a utopian timeline suddenly stuck in our timeline instead (good audiobook too)

Station Eleven by Emily St John Mandel, about a travelling theatre troup in a world where civilisation collapsed after a terrible pandemic (obviously tread carefully wrt how upsetting that might be for you!)

And then it isn't SFF in any strict sense but The Man Who Was Thursday by GK Chesterton (Simon Vance does the audiobook I like) is just very very fun and good and I like it a lot. Also the Lord Peter Wimsey novels, for the same reason!