#had the same thought when I started my new job.....

[aespabangedup]

If you were adopted as a son into a family that thought sex between family members was normal and became a family of four, which female idols would you want to be your stepmother, step older sister, and step younger sister? And tell me about your daily routine with them.

Writer's Note: From an aespa smut writer's point of view, it would be mommy Karina, big sis Giselle and little sis Winter and Ningning. But as that would be too predictable and their age gap isn't big, I am going to choose different idols with different ages.

LOVE FUCKING FAMILY WENCHES

I got adopted into a family of three woman who believes in incest and free use among family members......

What? I know you are surprised but it's true. Incestuous family does exist and they are heaven for those who loves multiple sex partners under same roof.

Guess what was the criteria for choosing me? My glorious 7 inch cock. My new mommy Jihyo gave me a tit job at the day of our interview. When I choked her deep throat, forced my bulbous dick all the way in shooting ropes after ropes of healthy man milk down her food pipe, she immediately choosed me as her new son.

She divorced her 4th husband for cheating. The family have free use rule with one more rule and that is you can't fuck other women without the permission of your womens in family which he broke fucking around everyone's wife and daughter in the neighborhood, without their permission.

So Jihyo divorced him that month. Instead of marrying 5th time, she decided to adopt a son this time, hoping a younger male will be easier to control around. Plus her daughters prefer young meat fucking them over middle aged men. So a big dick young male is all she needed.

The day she brought me home, we had car sex all the way while her electric car drove us safely. Her lose holes were perfect for my thick boy as she keep riding me all the way. I relexed my face in her massive boobs as she keep releasing her pent up frustration, soaking my dick and balls with her cum.

When we arrived I pick her up, my 7 inch cock still in her relatively tighter ass hole while she crossed her legs around my hip. I walked toward the door, pressed the bell while pumping upward in her gut, faster as my bladder was feeling full. I needed to pee soon.

A cute young girl in her 20 opened the door, not surprised at all seeing her mom getting fucked. It was her younger daughter Hanni, mommy had shown me her picture before. "Good morning little sis," I said before quickly running toward the sofa and throw Jihyo on her back. I pounded her ass for one more min and cummed my ball empty in her ass, yellowish discharge coming out when I pull back as she tries to catch her breath.

I was in a hurry to pee so asked Hanni where is the toilet, but surprising me she ran toward my still hard dick and sat down saying "I am your urinal" and take my dick in her mouth, cupping my balls with hands. She made me lose all control as I pushed all the way in and pissed my bladder empty straight in her stomach. I took my time peeing as you don't get to pee like this everyday, Hanni drinking all of it pushing aside her gag reflex.

"You should stop drinking piss Hanni. You got sick after last week's party becoming the urinal in dare game." Said my new older sister Somi while walking down the stairs from 2nd floor, she was full nude. Her whole body was glistining with sweat, her toned abs, bubble boobs and tight butt in full display. Her hip was swaying around, she is such an expensive slut!

It was weekend and Somi work out harder in free days. She don't wear anything while working out in home. Seeing her tight little pussy made me hard again, I was still in Hanni's mouth. Hanni looked up to me and started blowing me, my piss dripping out her lips. Somi went to the fridge to pick her shakes.

"If you have to drink then drink cum, cum is full of protein and helps building muscle." She walked to our fucked up mom with the juice in her hand. "Good morning Somi," said Jihyo while her legs were still spread wide. My cum was dripping out of her gaped holes. Somi insert her two fingers into mommy's pussy and scoped out some of my cum and send it in her mouth.

"You are too salty, I'll give you a proper diet to make your cum tastier. You have to cut down your intake of junk foods lil bro." She cleaned her fingers and then started to slurp mommy's pussy, putting her tongue inside her ass and pussy making sure not a single drop of my cum goes to waste.

I knew I had the license to fuck any of them but seeing how erotic three of them with each other sent me over the edge. My cute little Hanni was trying her best to give my massive dick deepthroat, but I took the matter into my own hand and started to face fuck her. By the time I ended up cumming deep in Hanni's throat, Somi licked Jihyo clean. I came undone making sure Hanni drank every single drop of my fluid.

Hanni's face turned red from suffocation, mouth agaped and tongue lolled out like a doggie in heat. Somi came and grab my dick to check my grith. "At least your size is good lil bro. Save up some nutritious cum for me next time." She then proceeded to take my entire length down her throat, surpassed her gag reflex like a pro. She pull out, give Hanni's urinal a deep kiss to taste my fluids further and goes back to where she came from.

It's been a year and half since then. I have fucked my mommy and sis countless times. We have sex oftens, but it's not like we keep fucking all day around. Even deranged fuckers got a life to live, ok? So it's more like if we got the drive to do it or not.

It's important to say what my women do. Jihyo is head secretary of a middle aged conglromate, well more like his mistress. Her main job is warming his cock in office, riding his dick while he do all the important job. He fucks her everyday, solo or in a group with his clients. Entire office know it so as his illegitimate wife she wield a lot of power. Her favorite style is showing her entire cleavage wearing pushed up bra, making her huge tities a thing of eye candy. I even watched him fucking her once as she called me over and let me see how my mama is a corporate bitch.

Somi work as a high end club dancer. From dancing on a pole or on multiple men's dick, she is the epitome of a sex doll. Getting fucked daily from men around world who she never met or will never meet is normal for her. She wanted to be an idol but got sold into prostitution instead. By the time she got rescued by our bitchy mom with her own connection in brothels, she was already too used to sex. So she took prostitution as her career. There are even some porn videos of her in the internet, getting millions of views.

Hanni is a nympho college student. That's all she is. She barely study but still get straight A by fucking all teachers in college. There is not a single straight boy in her college who haven't fucked her up in a group or alone. She never come back home in perfect shape after a party. They always end up gangbanging her until she is reduced to nothing but a piece of filthy meat. Once they called us from a party. We had to rush and take her to a hospital for alcohol intoxication and sexual abuse. It took her a month to be my urinal again.

Considering it's a weekend and we all have the sex drive, then it's most probably mom who sleeps the night with me. Her warm big boobs is used to comfort me, suffocating me between her mounds while I comfort her overused gaped cunt with my big cock. I keep pistoning comfort inside her until both of us pass out from exhaustion.

At the morning we wake up late from our sinful love making, go to take a shower togather as we passionately clean each other, licking and kissing our holes. My little lovely urinal Hanni prep the breakfast and serve it. Somi is always in her birthday dress. Mom goes out for work as sexual secretaries have no weekend. I goes to Somi's room and exercise with her in many Kamasutra position. Hanni sometimes join us, sometimes she just do her other work. I end the exercise getting steamy all again, leaving my wench of a big sis Somi cum drunk and exhausted on the mat. Hanni is definitely getting her daily dose of nutritional piss if she call me over for studying. It's just an excuse as we fuck like rabbit most of the time with occasional study talk.

That's it. 🖕🏻

[myokk]

Hi! I'm still feral for these two, would you mind giving us some art of them in their later years together!?

Hello angel!!!!

Sorry it’s taken so long to respond🫶🫶 but I wanted to draw some new art for this ask💓

We have: Sebastian and Eloise trying out their new fancy camera with a selfie, pictures of them with their daughter, and finally…idk I just always felt like this drawing is when they’re a bit older💓

I want to take this ask as an opportunity as well to talk a little about how I imagine their future (I have no chill & you can ignore this and just enjoy the art if you want😇).

I am a COMPLETE pantser - I never know how a chapter’s going to end when I start writing it (I always just have a few scenes I know I need to include to keep the plot moving forward). Although I have different *big* scenes I’m always writing towards, and themes/plot elements I’m always foreshadowing (shout out to @elliecutte for catching *almost* all of my hints and appreciating my general no chill😆), IM STILL NOT 100% SURE HOW I WILL END THINGS !!! 😳 I have a lot of endings I see as possible, and I think soon it will become more clear to me what will work the best💓

HAPPY ENDING:

Eloise and Sebastian become Unspeakables. I have a LOT of thoughts on this profession that could be its OWN post, and I feel like Unspeakables are generally specialized in one or two departments, but as their interests/research change they also change.

Eloise becomes an Unspeakable in the Mind and Death departments, with the occasional foray into Time. Her ancient magic is connected with all of these things (my version of AM is NOT like the game) & the Department of Mysteries is one of the only places that gives her any useful information about these things. Plus she thinks too much (it IS her hobby after all😆💓) and is very introverted so a hermit job like this is a perfect fit.

Sebastian becomes an Unspeakable as well, but I feel like it takes him a long time to specialize in anything, if he ever does. I just feel like becoming an Unspeakable is the adult equivalent of sneaking into the Restricted Section🥹🫶

They grow old together (I won’t explain TOO much) & have a lovely little family🥹 at least one daughter that they both dote on. Sebastian had an amazing childhood (idyllic until it wasn’t), and wants to give his daughter the same, and Eloise works hard to make sure their daughter feels the love that she never had growing up🥺

When Sirius is burned off the family tree, Eloise and Sebastian take him in🥹🫶 (they’re like 100 years old but WIZARDS LIVE LONGER…) The same happened to her all those years ago, and she wants him to know that his whole family hasn’t abandoned him.

Eloise LOVED her nieces - Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa - when they were younger, but as Voldemort becomes more powerful & people realize WHAT he’s doing, she has to separate herself from them. Her heart breaks seeing Bellatrix go mad, and seeing Narcissa engaged to a Malfoy out of obligation😔 (iykyk)

I haven’t thought any more about happy ending but I think it’s fun to think about how their future story might weave in with the actual canon events, ESPECIALLY since Eloise is a Black🥹💓

SAD ENDING:

After Sebastian gets his hands on Slytherin’s relic, it really starts to consume him and makes him even MORE obsessive than his natural tendencies - I imagine it similarly “talking” to him like Slytherin’s locket/horcrux did in Deathly Hallows (😳)

Eloise is deathly afraid of the changes she’s seeing in Sebastian and steals it from him (he would never willingly give it to her ESPECIALLY if it starts to feel like a precious item to him)

BUT the relic triggers the latent Black Family Madness in her - the madness that afflicts almost every woman in her family since…🤭 - and she herself starts to lose touch with reality. Her body and soul are already destroying themselves between the curse and the ancient magic inside of her, and the relic is what triggers it in her.

Sebastian becomes an Unspeakable, focusing on the Mind, in a desperate attempt to find a cure for his Eloise🥺

He never gives up his research, and sometimes when he comes home she is lucid and they talk about his research - otherwise, he just loves and takes care of her.

(He’s never successful in finding a way to reverse what he feels he caused in the first place - his ambition and single-mindedness is, to him, the reason why all of this happened)

Honestly who knows if I end their story either of these ways😌 I just love thinking of AUs and different endings and I have a few others I’ve considered as well!!! And whatever endings I don’t write will be immortalized on this blog and in my art as well🙏

[butterflyslinky]

It's been seven months. They've seen each other on calls, but they keep up a mask of stiff professionalism if they have to talk at all.

But now Buck's sitting in a gay bar, looking for some fun the same way he does on every 48 off. His expectations are low. No one seems to want a real relationship, not that he's really trying for one, ad the sex is mediocre at best.

Because none of them are Tommy.

He's two drinks in when he hears a familiar laugh and turns. There's Tommy, sitting four stools down and talking to the bartender. Buck wonders how he missed him entering the bar, but it doesn't matter. What matters is Tommy is here, so close, and Buck...

Okay, he'd jumped the gun asking Tommy to move in. And everything he's said before that had been...not great. Thinking about it, it's no wonder Tommy had hit the brakes. Though he maybe could have asked to just take a break instead of ending it completely.

Though it would have gone the same way, probably.

Buck knocks back his last drink and stands. He's steady on his feet as he makes his way down the bar and plops himself into the empty seat next to Tommy

Tommy doesn't look shocked to see him. Not happy, either. Just kind of resigned. "Buck?"

"Don't," Buck says. "I don't want..." He grits his teeth to force back tears. "I think we need to talk."

"Why?" Tommy asks.

"Because I have things to say to you," Buck says. "And I'm not going to let you just walk out again."

He's said all those things, in texts that sat unanswered, voice messages that were probably deleted without being heard. This time, he wants to make sure Tommy hears.

"I don't have a lot of time tonight," Tommy says.

"Then I'll say it fast. You broke my heart, Tommy. You said you were my first but not my last...but you weren't my first. I've dated and broken up before, I know what relationships are. Just cause you're a dude doesn't mean it was any different. As to not being my last, well, I've had plenty in the last seven months and none of them are going to be my anything. I told you they can be the same thing, and I mean it. I don't want to be in love with anyone the way I'm in love with you."

"Evan..."

"And if you don't want me, fine, but just say that instead of giving me some bullshit about not wanting your heart broken. Because I can't break your heart, Tommy. Maybe it's been seven months, but I'm still in love with you, and I don't see that changing any time soon." Evan looks down for a moment. "So...I know I'm a lot. I know I said some dumb shit. And I know there's a lot I still don't know. But I do know I want you to come home with me, and you don't have to stay, but...I want to try again. Now that I know a little more."

Tommy's eyes are bright when Buck looks up. "I can't."

"What?"

"Evan, I can't come with you tonight. Or any night."

Buck's stomach sinks. "Is there someone else?"

"No," Tommy says. "No, just...I got a new job. In Seattle...they offered me a command. A chance to be captain...don't get much more brave and trailblazing than that, do you, being an openly gay fire captain." He swallows hard. "I'm leaving on Monday."

Buck stares. The world seems to be tilting, even though he hasn't had that much to drink. "Oh."

"I thought you would have heard," Tommy says. "It's been kind of big news around the department."

"Everyone's been extra delicate with me," Buck says. "They don't talk about you where they think I can hear." He forces a smile. "Congratulations...you deserve it."

"Yeah?" Tommy says.

"Yeah. I'm happy for you." Buck waves to the bartender. "Put his drinks on my tab."

"Evan..."

"Least I can do. Since...since it's really over."

Tommy nods, but he looks sad. "Yeah," he says. "I guess I can just...start again. And I guess you can, too."

"Yeah," Buck says. "I guess I can."

--------------

It's a stupid idea, but Buck's full of those. He knows that it'll probably end in disaster, that he'll end up crawling back with his tail between his legs again.

But he has to try.

The airport looks just the same as it had when he dropped Abby off all those years ago. The same was it had been when he'd watched her walk out of his life, only to be seen again when it was unavoidable.

He's not doing that now.

Tommy is easy to spot, in spite of the crowd, standing in the check-in line. Buck thinks it must be kismet, that he's on time. There had been several flights to Seattle today, and he just took his best shot.

"Tommy!"

Tommy turns, and his brow furrows when he sees Buck. "Evan?"

Buck pushes his way through the crown, suitcase heavy in his hand, until he reaches Tommy's side. Tommy looks him over, then down at the bag. "Evan, what..."

"I know you said it's over," Buck says. "And that you don't want to try this again. And if you tell me to leave right now, I will. But I couldn't take the chance that I'd never see you again, even if you don't want to be in my life. And don't worry about work, Bobby transferred me to a different station than the one you're commanding, and I have a place to stay until I can find an apartment, and I'll get a new car since I gave the Jeep back to Maddie, but..."

"Evan," Tommy interrupts. "Did you just upend your life to follow me to Seattle?"

"Yes," Evan says. "If you'll let me."

Tommy stares for a minute before he pulls Buck into a kiss. And this time, Buck really knows it will be forever.

[goodolddumbbanana]

[GOODGUY Nexus au] Meet Sun - The Depressed Asshole [1]

"What happened to my smile and my will to live? Gone."

"Remember kids, whenever you find yourself feeling trapped, feeling suffocated, that's okay!! Fish get eaten in the ocean and they choke on their own waste in undersized tanks everyday. If you are not dead, that means society has done its job." :))

***

They started out like the other Suns and Moons. Getting sentient, sharing the same body, and fighting for control until they nearly killed each other.

The only difference was that even when they were separated, Moon was still an asshole. They taunted and bullied Sun, and often used the threat of shutting him down to get Sun to obey.

They were like the king, and Sun was the sad clown who danced to the stick they would hit him with whenever he stopped.

Sun has tried to stay positive, but the more days go by, the idea of Moon love and care about him seems like a lie he is trying to deceive himself.

But things would get worse, Moon could kill him or he could tear himself in half until one day…

Anyways... Like a butterfly flapping its wings in the northern can cause a tornado in the southern.

Sun has changed, and the universe has changed with him...

It was a late afternoon, when the kids had all gone home and Sun was left alone to clean. The smell of cleaning filled the air, and with each ball he cleaned, he hummed a different tune.

"Hmm… Almost done, only 232 balls left. Haha… I hate my life."

His chuckle echoed in the empty space. The loneliness was like a cold pressing down on Sun's ribs and spine, making him unconsciously hug himself because of the sudden feeling of restlessness.

Moon wasn't here.

Who was he kidding, Moon never wanted to be here, unless his brother needed something, or wanted to push Sun into some dimension craps to turn him into a test subject again.

And it's not like he can say no...

Suddenly, his internal organs rattled as he slowly stood up, the pain tearing like a torch melting the circuit board inside his stomach before pouring more mercury in.

Moon had shoot him with some stupid machine they had built, and the aftershocks had blown a huge hole in his stomach.

It hurt like hell and Sun thought he was going to die, but then Moon had smacked him in the head to shut him up before fixing Sun as good as new.

Though… Why does it still hurt now? Sun winced, trying to get up and falling again.

His hands were shaking, his body was convulsing. His internal systems were flooded with bright yellow error warning symbols, the fans were running at full capacity, but his core was still hot enough to make his head steam.

He wanted to call someone but for some reason his voice box wouldn't respond, only emitting a staticky sound like a broken radio.

"Moon… Moon…" Sun still managed to scream weakly. He struggled to crawl out of the ballpit and crawl to wherever the camera could see him.

"Computer… Help." It is exhausting, and Sun has struggled to scream, even though it felt like he had a knife stuffed in his mouth.

"[Warning: Someone is injured, contact nearest support.]"

The dinging response made Sun's heart swell with hope, only for the computer's voice to knock that hope down and throw it into the mud.

"Oh wait, it's just Sun. I was wrong." The computer's AI looked extremely disappointed as it recognized Sun. Its voice was filled with contempt, as if Sun had soiled its eyes.

"No need to contact Moon. He always say to avoid calling them unless it's important."

The second AI was no better, just continuing to agree with AI one, completely ignoring him as he groaned in pain. A wave of nausea hit him like a wire was being ripped out behind his head and his stomach was popping.

Everything was spinning and before the feeling of breathlessness began to overwhelm him, everything went black.

That was how Sun passed out, realizing, oh, he was worthless to anyone.

***

- This Sun is more meaner. He is not afraid to open his mouth, and usually just loves to throw hands with whoever messes with him.

- He loves to beat the crap out of Monty whenever he has the chance.

-His relationship with Moon became much frayer, but they still love each other. (Kinda)

- He likes to crippled his enemies, because it is easy to live and feel the pain more than just die and get peace. His sadistic side gets shown a lot.

- He killed his Moon, not accidentally but intentionally. (Of course he still feels guilty about it, but things have already happened and Moon has forgiven him when he comes back so they are cool.)

- He and Nexus at first have the : "Who is that sassy child?" Vs "And you are an ugly bitch!" But then they slowly warm up to each other and care and treat the other more healthier than Moon and Sun ever do.

- After turning Nexus into a goose, Sun keeps Nexus in his room and reads them stories for goose Nexus to sleep.

- Sun is still silly, he just hides his side very deeply.

[robinbuckleyluvr]

⊹˚˖⁺ our childhood is gone - steve harrington

masterlist | requests

pairing: steve harrington x platonic fem!reader

summary: reader and steve end tied up in the secret russian base, where the reader turns to anger and finally confronts steve after he threw out their friendship just for popularity.

warnings: none

notes: i love angst long live angst

word count: 864

⸻⊱༺ 

When she first walked into her new job and saw Steve Harrington, she could not believe it. How could Steve, the most entitled and pretentious guy at Hawkins, end up with a crappy job at an ice cream parlor?

A bit hypocritical to say, seeing as though she had the same job. 

They exchanged a polite ‘Hello’ that first day, but no words were spoken. There was no acknowledgement of their past, of their friendship they once cherished, ever since they were 9 years old. High school had completely turned Steve into a jerk, and she resented him for it. Him and his ‘friends’ would stare and laugh when she’d walk by, just like they did with anyone they deemed ‘uncool’.

What hurt most, was making eye contact with him.

She never once saw an apologetic look from him. Not then, not now, not ever.

Scoops was a dead-end too, as she pretended not to know him, and he did the same.

How they ended up in an underground Russian base, tied to chairs sitting back-to-back with each other, was a question neither could answer. They sat in silence, waiting and fearing whoever was due to come in the room to question them.

“So…” Steve began, attempting to light up the dreary mood.

“So what?” Y/N snapped. Not a single bone in her wanting to be kind to him.

“I just, you know… quite the situation we’re in here.”

“Cut the shit, Harrington. Don’t act like you want to make small talk with me right now.”

Steve sat quiet. They both did for a few minutes. Taking in the gravity of the situation they faced, and the uncomfortable silence that filled the room.

“You know,” Y/N laughed, sarcasm lacing her words, “You really are the same person you were back in high school. When I first saw you here… I cannot believe I really thought you’d changed. But of course, you didn’t. You’re still the same douchebag you used to be… pretending not to know me. You’re an ass.”

Steve was at a loss for words, “Oh, don’t act like you’re a saint,” He snapped, “You ignored me too. I guess you’re a douche too, then.”

“It takes one to know one. I wasn’t the one who went prancing around to the ‘cool’ kids as soon as we entered high school just because I wanted to be ‘someone’.”

“At least I was someone.”

“Harrington, I think you’ll be happy to know, making fun of people doesn’t make you ‘someone’. It just makes you an asshole.” She shot back.

“Oh, for crying out loud,” He muttered under his breath.

“You are fucking unbelievable.”

He rolled his eyes in response, “For the love of God, I’m sorry, okay?” 

“You don’t even know what to be sorry for, Harrington.” She hissed, “A half-assed apology won’t get you anywhere after the hell you made me go through these past 3 years. You know, when I first started high school, I foolishly thought ‘How cool! I have my awesome, cool, friend, Steve Harrington in the grade above me! What could go wrong?’”

Steve laughed, “You did not say that–”

“Of course not, asshole, I was being sarcastic.” She sighed, “I still did not think you and your fucking ‘friends’ would make it hell to walk through those halls. Never had a single day of peace. If you weren’t making fun of the books I carried, it was the way I walked. Or the way I wore my hair. How does doing that to so many people not haunt you, Steve?”

He stared at the floor. His expression dropping with each word she spoke, hurt and sarcasm never leaving her voice.

“Do you not regret it, Harrington?”

They both reflected on the words exchanged, the minutes dragging out before they spoke again. Their minds raced and dwelled in the hurt and regret filling the air.

“I do. I never thought it was going to go that way. I never thought…” He paused, “I never wanted to hurt anyone. But I sat with them on my first day. And suddenly I was part of it, I finally… belonged somewhere. I started playing basketball with them, and before I knew it, I was in too deep. I never planned to make fun of people in the halls, but when you stand there with them, careful not to laugh too loud and… they turn to you and wait for you to make a comment, you just do. ”

“Please,” She huffed, “You’re not getting any pity from me with that fuck-ass story. You threw away years of friendship to make fun of people and shoot balls up at the ceiling? Fuck you.”

“I’m sorry.” Steve responded quietly. “You’re right. I was a coward, an asshole, and a douche. Everything you said,” He sighed, “You are correct about it all. I hurt a lot of people, and I do wish I could un-do that damage. I wish I hadn’t thrown our friendship away either.”

“You were my best friend,” She spoke, her voice breaking, “I wanted to believe in the 9 year old Steve I once met. But you made me feel invisible.”

[carrottheluvmachine]

Help me move to Scotland to be with the one I love

Hello, my name is Colie and I'm trying to raise the money needed to be able to apply for a partner visa to go and live with my girlfriend in Scotland.

3 years ago, my life was in a hellish place. My step-dad, the greatest person I have ever known, was diagnosed with cancer and put on hospice care. He took me in when I had to leave my old life behind me; when I lost my home in New York and had no where else to turn to. He accepted my 3 elderly cats and cared for them like they were his own. Although he came into my life late, he acted as a father and a friend to me.

In August of 2021, right as my step-dad was diagnosed, I met the love of my life. I wasn't looking for love. I was searching for a writing partner and she came along. 2 weeks later, I told her I thought I might be in love with her, and to my surprise she said she felt the same way.

Steph was there for me as my step-dad grew weaker and weaker. She was the first person I told the morning when he passed away. I helped my mother care for him in his last days. I listened obsessively at the wall between our bedrooms for his last breaths. To this day, I still refuse to go into the spare bedroom where he passed away. I am traumatized, I am broken, but to Steph I am so much more. She was there for me to lean on whenever I needed her. She cheered me up with her silly puns. She made me smile and she reassured me that I was worth loving.

My life has never been easy, but the easiest thing in it has always been Steph. I knew right away that I loved her. I admired her from the first moment I met her. She stuck by my side despite my disabilities, despite my losses, despite my will to end it all.

I have severe anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder. Because of this, it has never been easy for me to keep down a job. Because I have never been able to hold down a job, I have been living off the good graces of others and cannot afford therapy. Only recently did I find a way to receive remote therapy and I'm working to improve myself.

I have lived a sheltered life since moving down here to Florida. I lost everything I ever knew in New York. I have seen family members only a handful of times in the past 11 years, and I haven't visited any of my friends since. I have lost touch with the people I called my friends back home, and I haven't been able to make new friends down here.

It's a different world here, and I am very fearful as a gay person in a red state. I do not tell anyone that I'm gay because I fear for my life here. Especially after the 2024 election results.

I have become a recluse who has nothing but her online friends, her mother, and her cats. The one shining light in all of my life has been Steph. We were able to meet in the summer of 2023 and I flew to Scotland to be with her. For the first time in my life, I was living and doing what I wanted to do. I was happy. I smiled every single day. I was traveling outside and seeing things I've never seen before, all with the person I loved most in the world. At the end of my trip, Steph turned to me and said "So, what do you think about living here?" and I swear to you, I've never smiled brighter.

The reason I have started this campaign is because of the financial requirements to obtain a visa to move to the UK. The financial requirement is £29k, which is roughly $37k USD. Steph just graduated from university with a degree in screenwriting, but she has yet to find a job in her field. For the time being, she's working in childcare, which she also has a degree in, but it does not make the kind of money needed to sponsor me for a visa.

Our choices were either to make the 29k annually, or to have 31k in savings (equating roughly to 39k USD) so that I could apply for a visa stay support both of us for 2 years before I would have to apply again. Unfortunately, the income earned cannot be combined with any savings to meet the financial requirement. The requirement also does not allow me to contribute with a US income, as the person who is responsible for sponsoring me has to be the one earning the money because I won't be able to work in the UK until I have a spouse visa.

It is incredibly difficult not seeing the one you love day in and day out. My life has never been easy, as I said before, but I feel as if it has been put on pause ever since I was forced out of my home to come and live in Florida. I haven't been living, I have been surviving.

I want to live again, and I want to live with the girl I love.

Please, if you can, donate. Even if it's just a dollar, anything helps. Please help my dreams come true.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

~Colie

Link to gofundme

If you could reblog this post, I would greatly appreciate it!

[olderthannetfic]

Ok, LONG story and a rant. ESL

I have a "friend" who recently got on the topic of disabled children, including severely disabled, mentally and physically children, and how people having an abortion just because of it are bad people. She's not pro-life, but her opinion is if you want a child you need to "accept what you get." She has even spoken about how she'd never even consider an abortion if she had a disabled child, and that she'd be a great mom. Blah blah blah.

Starting off, we went to school in the same class until high school. Her entire life she was terrified of people with disabilities, especially developmental. One time in 8-9th grade she started scream crying because our teacher's son with down syndrome had to join class for 2 hours because of the teacher's schedule. In 3rd grade she thought needing glasses was infectious and always ran away from the two kids in class with glasses.She's had some of the weirdest reactions to people with autism, ADHD, and similar diagnosis.

Yet she's here proclaiming how good of a mother she'd be to a disabled child, as a key argument why people screening for disabilities are bad.

Here's my position, as someone who started studying in a field focusing on working with disabled people in all stages of ability and disability, her sentiment is incredibly stupid to me. If you know the fetus will become an incredibly disabled child, it's not a kindness to have it, you're not mother Mary for giving birth to a child that'll never be able to live independently in this world. I've experienced some of the most unpleasant sides of this, and I don't mean helping clean people after the toilet, or showering. I've been inappropriately groped, touched, and kissed by more people than I can count. Some of them understand it's wrong when I tell them a firm no, some get huffy and angry, some get violent. That's just the surface problems I've dealth with. It's difficult, and painful, and to me it's just a job I can step away from at the end of the day, especially since I'll be able to find work in other medical fields when I've completed my studies.

Yes these are people who deserve all the kindness in the world. But I won't lie, the quality of life for someone who's only way of communicating is crying and hitting people is not a kind life. They don't get to live lives where they can just go on vacation, and see new places on their own. They can't start a normal job. They can't start a family. Half the people I work with haven't seen their relatives in years, or are only visited for an hour or two every week. They see people having relationships and having relations in movies, and with their caretakers of family, but they can never have that. Most of the ones who've tried to touch me, or claimed I'm their wife, or girlfriend did it because that's what they see but don't understand what it actually means. I've dealt with disabled people who were victims of extreme abuse not just from family and strangers, but also people in my work field, who're traumatized but don't have the ability to work through properly because it's already difficult for them to just getting through their days. They have their happy moments, but most of all of this happens in an incredibly small social circle, with strict routines, where only other disabled people exist, and they don't even get the chance to be part of "normal" society. We workers are literally trained to "deal" with these people, sure we're also there for socializing, but most of us are also literally just a resource, we're not a friend, or a family member, we're workers.

Some of the places I've been at are more like a 24/7 kindergarten, with a huge lack of funding and manpower. You won't believe how many times we've struggles trying to help people during extreme and violent meltdowns, all because we're understaffed. The job also lacks male workers, which means it's harder to help with any male patients who voice feeling uncomfortable being helped by women. Do you know how incredibly painful it is to see the shame on someone's face who's more abled to voice this discomfort, but still not able to care for himself and needs help with, to us, basic things such as putting on clothes, or taking showers?

People like this "friend" annoy me, because they idealize the idea of having a heavily developmentally disabled child. They see people with more "mild" cases, or self-sufficient disabled people, but ignore everyone living in cramped disabled "communes" or under poverty and high levels of abuse.

--

Children, animals, causes: a lot of people romanticize the idea of taking on more than you can handle. It's not romantic. It's just irresponsible.

[ashironie]

reblogging bcs i have a lot of thoughts

i fucking HATED how Jon treated him s1, we also have to remember that before we see ANYTHING of Martin straight from the horses mouth, we see him from Jon’s pov. And Martin probably wasn’t very good at his job, but that’s reasonable since he transferred from the library to an archive, he most certainly didn’t expect to be in research 2.0. Martin has no clue how to do his job and he couldn’t let anyone know that because he wasn’t even supposed to be there. The reason i started liking Martin was because i hated Jon, and the reason i hated Jon was because he was mean to Martin. My thought process was thus; Jon’s an Ass to Martin for really no reason, so I’m going to like Martin to spite Jon

Now, i too sorta dislike s5 Martin, when i first listened i found him to be really whiny and kinda ungrateful. During my relisten a lot of the problems i had with him were lessened because i was just so unuse to this new Martin, and before, he would do everything I would, but now he was a lot different, which gave me whiplash. it’s like expecting the driver in a car to take a turn and then they just don’t, you can’t blame them but there’s a sense of wrongness in your stomach. Now again most of these problems i had were fixed when i relistened, knowing what was going to happen, and that was my main complaint with s5 in general, expecting a turn and the driver just keeps going straight

Now going back to s1 (since i realized i didn’t explain my point very well). When ever Jon talked about what Martin did it was heavily biased, and whenever we hear Martin talk it’s around Jon. Around the person he doesn’t want to get in trouble by. We heard in the beginning of s5 tapes that Sasha and Tim were a lot different then when being recorded in s1, so obviously Martin (with a more easily identifiable reason) would also be a lot different. Then when everything went down and he dropped the act a little, we do know he was still acting. The tapes we get in s3 before the Unknowing are the closest thing we get to him being genuine, and even still he doesn’t want to admit how much of an asshole he is.

Now it’s fine if you don’t like Martin, he’s specifically written as a very complex person, and that means that sometimes people just hate him for no reason. But I dislike the criticism that his personality was very touch and go, it’s just that we didn’t know what was actually going on in his head until end of s4 and s5.

Now my defense of why I like Martin is;

He has a very heavy faun response, which same, and that aspect makes him really interesting to me. Being manipulative and having a heavy faun response are the same, but are seen differently.

i detest the idea that he is never in the wrong or that he’s just a sweet cinnamon roll. Martin, early on, just follows the lead to anyone who makes it seem like they understand even a little, then does a full 180 into thinking he knows what’s right and wrong without any input from anyone. Then realizes that, he really doesn’t know, nobody does, and he still thinks he knows better more often than not, but he recognizes this in himself. There is no ends to anyone’s character arcs in TMA, they still grow and struggle with the same things, but they find new solutions and new problems. And i think all of that is really interesting! It adds to the tragedy, it’s fine if a character dies when they are finished atoning for whatever narrative sin they have be set up with, but it’s tragic when they never get to! They are told what they need to do, and try to do it, but die before they can. Sasha died before she could be anything but a memory, someone who almost just haunts the narrative. Tim died in a noble way, but ultimately pointless one, as we come to find out. He is still just as angry, and he still didn’t bring the two people he wanted to save back from the dead. He didn’t win, even if he and everyone else thought so. He could’ve healed, but he killed himself before he could. And Martin tries like hell to figure out how to listen to people without only listening to him, and he fails a lot, a LOT a lot. But he died before he could just relax. Jon was the same, he got too deep and thought that, with enough time, he could figure out a way, not out of the hole, but closer to the surface. And he would’ve, if given the time. But he was dragged back into the same bullshit by the same man and by the same fear.

sorry that one was a lot longer but yk.

Martin is also stubborn. He was endlessly patient with Jon early s5, and the idea that he’s impatient the rest of the season i disagree with. He is just very careful with what he gives his time, maybe a bit to careful, but again with him over-course correcting. But he is still very stubborn, which i feel like is a good word between perseverance and determination. He knows that they will find a way to get everyone safe, as much as possible. He is too patient to believe the easy answer, and too persistent to allow everyone else to settle for that either. He does dumb things sometimes, but when has a tma character not? but is still fiercely protective of his people and ideals. if not a bit misguided at times

I'll be so honest with y'all, I always thought Martin was written to be an intentionally dislikeable character (like s1 Jon) for like character development or something, and then I was even MORE sure of that by season 5, and then they just kinda never touched on it and the fandom was all obsessing over him and it's like?? What do y'all see in him unless you relate to him omg 😨

[trans-xianxian]

haha grief truly is hidden in all of the little things (<- almost texted his mom to tell her about taking the permit test tomorrow)

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

For the assumption ask game! Like you said in your ask to me, it's pretty hard to come up with something, especially something based purely on your fics, because we've talked about so much already 😂 but let's see...

I'm not sure how to explain this properly, but I think music ties into the way you love people? In a sense that you probably have a song for everyone you care about — and you'd treasure it forever if someone burned a CD especially for you

And I'm pretty sure you have a keen sense for the way people speak — in a sense that I *think* you pick up on people's little speech quirks very quickly and have a great time with it!

Oooh! These are both very interesting and insightful observations -- and both of them are correct!

I think music ties into the way I experience the world in general -- and that includes the people I love, yes! I definitely have at least one song/singer/even genre I associate to each important person in my life -- and sometimes even to recent friends or acquaintances. I also do this with characters and stories I love, but that's a bit more common, I believe 😂 oh, if someone were to burn a CD especially for me I'd propose marriage right then and there, ngl :')

I think you're spot on about the second assumption too, although it feels like something that should be confirmed from an outside source. I know I tend to pick up on accents very quickly -- whenever I spend even half an hour with someone who has a different accent than mine, I end up speaking just like them for a quite a while! 😂 it's not an intentional thing, just a thing I do, and it has been pointed out to me several times! Speech patterns and quirks fall into the same umbrella for me -- I pick them up easily and remember them well. And whenever I think about it, I have a lot of fun picking them apart and figuring out which phrases and cadences make someone sound like themselves :)

Kudos to you for your great insight! I'm kind of surprised these things can be picked up from my writing 😂 you're very observant! And thanks for sending your assumptions, this game is a lot of fun!

[hella1975]

Hi hella! I love love your writing and have done so for years and liked your posts but above all else I am a social media lurker at heart. But I wanted to tell you that following you for so long I’ve seen you go off to college and strike out on your own. Your self reflection and how you move through your life is so inspiring. I feel like your proud distant auntie sometimes cheering you on from afar. Growing up and going through school and into your adulthood is so confusing and frustrating and depressing sometimes but I’m a bit on the other side now and can tell you you’re doing so well. Absolutely killing it and it’s a privilege to read about. Your openness often has me reflect on my own life! I appreciate you bestie 🫶

reading this was genuinely so emotional BESTIE WHAT THE HELL

[deus-ex-mona]

it’s ✨okay✨, right~?

[raeathnos]

.

[crystalkitty1220]

Might have to scrap a fic idea because I thought the panic that came with time moving too slowly or too quickly was a universal thing, but now I'm realizing I probably have chronophobia and the fic might not feel the same to other people. Don't want it to drag on or feel rushed if readers won't get the same kind of anxiety the character's getting.

[unnecessarilygrandiose]

.

[megumins-wizard-hat]

Ur just with the wrong people

do you guys ever feel like an outcast even in a group full of outcasts. like i'm autistic and even in groups full of neurodivergent people i'm still excluded sometimes. i don't understand why