#i just wish we had focused more on other characters as well
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Finally seeing Bells Hells/c3 biggest fans and supporters after 3 years saying, "Some of you are so afraid to criticise CR that you end making other people feel like shit for voicing their valid criticism. We are allowed to complain about media that we’ve invested so much time on and paying for 😐". Its ironic because JUST last week everything was perfect. Or c3 is perfect but all the other parties, breaks etc. Im like that IS c3. The Villian is fr MN and the party is tied to VM. C3 is all party
going to give the mean and sarcastic answer (not to you, to the people you're talking about) and then the thoughtful one because I think both are important to voice here
mean sarcastic answer is "actually Matt was homeless once so I can't believe you're resorting to leftist infighting and criticizing him like that? You can't criticize anything involving Bells Hells because all of the characters are queer and also Beau is a brown lesbian so it's really racist of you to be upset that she showed up in the charity one-shot and most of the Mighty Nein and Vox Machina have trauma so it's actually really problematic of you to be mad that they're showing up in the wrap-up? smh C3 fans are just mad this isn't The Bells Hells Search For Their Neighbor's Missing Cat In The Alps show."
The serious answer really is that like, yeah, this campaign has been The Moon Plot And Past Parties campaign the entire time. I'm not going to link my entire blog here but my archive is extensive and if you were to cross-reference my opinions over the course of the campaign you could see that I (and my many other allegedly evil Campaign 2 stan pals with which this fandom is crawling, as if we are apparently the invasive species here and not the bears in whose neighborhoods you built a cul de sac and tried to shoo out) started out with high hopes for a third campaign on the heels of two excellent prior ones. Our disappointment is that at every turn we had to lower our bar; forgive me if, after a campaign in which every time anyone else said "wow, fucked up that they yanked away the football, that's disappointing" you harassed and mocked us, no one has any sympathy when the campaign ends at, frankly, a not unsurprising place for it to end. It's openly been called the Avengers Assemble campaign by the cast. Like, actually, almost everyone else had the opinion of "I wish this campaign focused primarily on Bells Hells"/"I wish this campaign were more rooted in Marquet" from, frankly, the second that Vox Machina appeared if not earlier, and that's when a lot of the people currently melting down started watching. I have been here so long that the people sending me anon hate have had full turnover. And yeah, just last week everything was all going to turn out okay, and it's like while it's fair to have had more hope for the campaign around episode 50, if you're in the endgame and nothing's clicking, I think it's okay to say "well, I'll see this through to the end but here are the many failures of this campaign over all".
I think it's extremely valid if, when the people lobbied every insult and accusation they could think of at you when you criticized the campaign or any of its characters before 9:00 AM Pacific Time on Thursday, January 30th, 2025, suddenly find themselves realizing that yeah, this campaign has a track record of jumping around to other parties when Bells Hells should probably have been in focus, and that the character arcs were mostly cut short in favor of the singular moon plot and it's virtually impossible to end in a way that is entirely satisfying, though the world state will probably be intriguing and the characters will probably get some blandly happy endings in between cuts to Vox Machina and the Mighty Nein; one's reaction isn't "oh, you poor thing" but rather "We told you so." The party may have fucked around and never really found out. I will have to take my satisfaction that (as multiple mutuals who have seen this all unfold pointed out) the people who have used their fandom of this campaign to throw rocks at anyone they didn't like and feel morally righteous in doing so are reaping what they sowed. I have no control over the outcome of the end of this campaign but I can certainly control whether I have any sympathy for those who are reeling from a revelation most of us figured out months ago, and they've been so consistently awful to everyone else at every turn that I cannot say I do.
I think it's valid to criticize Critical Role. I've been doing so all campaign. I was against toxic positivity in the fandom during Campaign 2, and while I'm not entirely proud of everything I've done and said this campaign, at least I feel secure in never demanding anything from others I did not practice myself. If the fandom is better during a hypothetical Campaign 4 I think it will be in part because hopefully a C4 party won't be as much of an attraction for that kind of dish-it-out-and-never-take-it loser Bells Hells appealed to; and because hopefully those same losers will have either left, or learned a bitter lesson for whom they have only themselves to blame.
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Well, I finished it.
I'm gonna put some thinky-thoughts under the cut because I'm pretty sure I have mutuals who aren't looking for spoilers.
If the entire game had been like the endgame, we might have stood a fighting chance of the game being a success.
It's just...not good. It's a mid game overall and a bad Dragon Age game.
Weak characters, weak dialogue, weak worldbuilding, often weak acting, the complete dismissal of so much lore, a lack of roleplay options, choices that don't matter, past choices that were never brought up again - not to mention the walking character assassination calling itself Solas and the Varric "twist." Garbage. All garbage.
Plus, the romances. I can only speak to the Lucanis one but that was some of the most godawful writing I've ever seen. I've been a Bioware girlie since the KOTOR days so I'm very familiar with what a Bioware romance can be. And that was just - what the hell even was that? I don't particularly want to write Veilguard fanfic but if I did it'd be to give that poor man an actual arc, romance or otherwise. And a personality.
Oh, and the outfits, by and large, were AWFUL. Never thought I'd miss putting Dorian in plaidweave.
Other people have more eloquently laid out the major structural problems with this game, so I'm not going to try to repeat their words. But it's so weird that I can't even say "Well it was a little rough but it's got good bones" because it doesn't. The bones are rotten too.
I'd like to go back to the day I finished playing DA2 and take back everything I said about it because that game at least had a solid grip on everything that DAO had built.
Every time I listened to the guy who's supposed to be my Inquisitor with his phoned-in dialogue, I just kept thinking that there's another, better, Inquisitor-focused game in southern Thedas and that's the one I'd rather be playing.
All told, I'm just sad. Bioware's been dying for a decade or more. If ME5 fails, EA will shutter the studio. I knew this was gonna be rough. When it was almost a decade of silence followed by "Hey watch for Dragon Age: Dread Wolf!" and then it was unceremoniously changed to "The Veilguard" (may as well call it Thedas Avengers) I just KNEW.
I wanted to be wrong. I wanted so very badly to be wrong.
[deep sigh]
But lest you think that all I've done is bitch and moan (because, let's be real, that's exactly what I've done), I did like some things.
I would commit war crimes for Antoine. Evka is going to beat me to it though.
Some of the environmental design was really cool, like the dwarven stuff.
I know Manfred and Assan were factory-designed to be lovable and it wasn't as organic as Scratch and the owlbear cub in BG3, but, dammit, it worked, and I liked them.
I had a great time with the mission where you (badly, not at all sneakily) infiltrate Elgar'nan's party, but I wish it had been darker and creepier. Still had fun with that quest.
Always happy to see Morrigan.
Always happy to see Xenon the Antiquarian.
There were scattered snippets of dialogue or party member moments that I enjoyed, but I'm too tired to think of specifics right now. They were in there, though.
I liked being able to pet every cat I saw. Couldn't do that in RDR2.
On the whole, it felt like playing a game made from the bad fanfic of someone who had only read the DAge wiki once. Just about everything it did copied stuff that other games have done better. And it copied none of the stuff that made the other DAge games great.
Rating after Act 1: 2/10 Final rating: 4/10
YMMV.
#just processing some thoughts#i'm tired and sad#steph plays veilguard#dragon age veilguard#datv#datv spoilers#datv critical#veilguard spoilers#veilguard critical#bioware critical
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#okay rant time lol. spoilers for 6x18#i think i will have to say that this may have been my least favourite of all 6b episodes#haha ik i should probably give myself time to process the episode but idk i'd rather just write everything out#i just. just yesterday i was complaining about some people treating 911 like it's the buck show and today... it was the buck show?#and like! an episode being extra focused on one character is absolutely fine!! great even!! i really enjoyed 6x11!!#but in the season finale you expect each character to get a more equitable amount of focus right?#and like. even 4x14 which had a significantly less focus on eddie than one might expect had the will scene#and maddie had a bit less focus in that episode too but even she quit her job and it was obvious she was Going Through Stuff#and these slightly restricted screentimes gave jumping off points for their respective very spectacular s5 arcs#but this episode? like it wasn't that it didn't focus on other characters but it was mostly buck#and... idk man it does make sense given that he had the longest running plotlines this season but also#i just wish we had focused more on other characters as well#and like? as for buck? the couch?#i'll be honest i'm disappointed they introduced romance this season for buck at all when the season began with him choosing to be single#i really thought he wouldn't date at all for this one season at least yk?#and yeah ik we live in an amatonormative world but cmooon a guy can have his happy ending without getting together with someone#also bucktalia feels a little odd to me rn especially given the number of false starts they had#if they'd done this exact same storyline but at the beginning of next season i'd probably love it... right now tho i'm very meh over it#as in there is potential but it's like... idk mannnn why do we need him to end up with someone at allllll... i'm too aro for this shit#starting something new this close to the end of the season instead of tying off the two arcs that were already ongoing for him#was certainly a choice#aah well. at least natalia seems good for him. she came back which is the most important thing buck would want in a partner right?#still tho. i really wish we'd gotten to know more about the new henren baby than we did#i wish we'd gotten to see madney discussing plans instead of just the exact moment where they decide they want to marry on the patio#i wish we'd gotten the entire conversation that lead up to chris hyping (or snarking at) eddie to call marisol#i wish we'd gotten bathena hurriedly packing for their trip and may making fun of them as she helps#i just wish we'd gotten more of others!!#oh well. at least we still got chimney time and captain hen and cheddie working together and hen and eddie leaning on each other#you win some you lose some i guess#anyways if you actually read all the way til down here thank you for your time hehe
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not my dad not liking moral orel season 3 🤭🤭🤭that's so embarrassing for him (<- he's not wrong for feeling that way but i think it's like 60% because he doesn't like it when art gets weird and that's so so tragic for him)
#i actually think his points make sense this time. which tbqh is not normally how i feel when he criticizes smth i love#basically he was like s3 was a completely different show from the first two seasons#and he didn't like how all over the place and directionless it felt#and honestly yeah ok i can see that#personally i think the choice to broaden the focus to moralton broadly vs mostly just orel is really interesting#and it allows for different facets of their critique of fundie waspisms to extend to situations/characters orel wouldn't really be privy to#(could you imagine 'alone' with orel there? me neither)#and i personally liked them fleshing out the marginal characters. i never found that boring or like a major diversion#again they're like 11 min episodic(ish) things it's hard for them to feel like they drag on y'know#it shows a lot of ambition and i think they pulled it off really well tbh (cancellation aside)#but i will agree that the transition is a little sudden. nature is such a big moment for the series#and for orel's arc specifically but then we spend little time with orel post-nature so the tone shift doesn't#necessarily align with his realization (at least in terms of the canon timeline. ep release order does align)#it's sudden but we jump back to before the shattering. it's disorienting and i think it's kind of cool as hell#a realization like orel's in nature is gonna throw the past into question and color his life and thus the town#(bc let's face it orel is the real mayor of moralton kfhsjs) and while we've been seeing Some of moralton's ugliness#in every episode until now it's shown in full force in and post-nature (release-wise). so when the timeline jumps around#and it all feels twisted and hazy and sickening and it All Comes Back To The Hunting Trip as our point of reference#for when things are happening it makes it feel like the trip Caused this disturbance. it's almost a spatio-temporal THING#like orel IS the center of this universe. my point is it's weird and i like it a lot i think it works#but anyway i think s3 is a natural evolution of s1+2 albeit an accelerated one#and i really wish we'd gotten to see more of what s3 morel was cooking bc it was setting up some really cool stuff imo#like he hated everything w mommy censordoll x clay but it's SUCH a cool place to take their characters. freud would go crazy#moral orel#and i think if they knew where they had to end the season maybe focusing on other characters was a way to keep orel stagnant enough to like#end the finale where they needed him. maybe.#we actually DID finish it yesterday. i rewatched the finale the day before bc i was impatient but yeah 👍#now it's chapter black time >:}
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we can't be friends (but i'd like to just pretend)
pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader
prompt: four times you spent a holiday with your best friend Steve Harrington and one time you didn't and missed him.
word count: 10.2k
warnings: friends-to-lovers, everyone can see it (including steve and reader but they're both kind of in denial), mutual pining, characters in their mid-twenties, fluff and (some) emotional angst, steve uses a cheesy nickname for reader, mentions of partying and alcohol consumption, some swearing, no use of y/n
notes: hi all, this is the first reader fic that i publish here, so bear with me, i tried my best <3 in light of the year-end celebrations, this fun little idea of a fic came to me and i decided to give it a shot, so i hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it <3
🥂🥂🥂
“What are your resolutions for the new year?”
You looked up from your glass of champagne when Steve asked you that question out of the blue. You were both leaning against the kitchen island at Nancy and Jonathan’s apartment, distractedly observing your friends playing a drinking game you had both stepped out of. You were glad to allow your friends their fun, but mostly, to have a reason to get some alone time, just the two of you. A silent agreement, as always.
“You know I don’t believe in resolutions,” you answered before bringing a flute smudged by your red lipstick to your lips.
“Oh, come on, kitten, humor me for a second.”
You raised an eyebrow at him while he waited for your response with a cheeky smile. You heard Robin burst into laughter from the living room, but you were too focused on Steve’s loose strand of hair and the woody scent of his new cologne to acknowledge it.
“Fine,” you obliged him. “Well, I resolve to quit drinking coffee, exercise more, and buy a new and well-functioning car.”
“You’re full of shit,” Steve laughed. “Like you’re ever going to get rid of Gina.”
“Of course I’m not getting rid of Gina, she’s my ride-or-die,” you said, referring to your personified old car.
“Yeah, emphasis on ‘die’ – you're missing a rearview mirror in there.”
You nudged him playfully, briefly losing your balance but Steve helped steady you immediately, putting a hand on your hips that hovered there longer than necessary. You chuckled for good measure but couldn’t help the heat that rushed to your face.
Everyone knew you and Steve had a thing for each other. It had been that way since high school – lingering looks in the hallway between classes, overly tactile during a mundane conversation, pretending to forget something at the other’s house to have a reason to go there again… Everyone knew it, was used to it, and never mentioned anything about it – you and Steve included.
Nothing had ever happened because the timing was always off. If it wasn’t Steve who was dating someone, you were; then you moved away to go to college, and when you came back to Hawkins after graduating, Steve had just left for an internship in New York. Eventually, you grew tired of the never-ending “what-ifs” and made your peace knowing that Steve Harrington would always be more than just a friend but less than a lover. A fine line you both tiptoed in and out of too much over the past eight years.
“What about you?” you eventually asked Steve. “You’re corny as shit, you must have a lot of them resolutions in mind.”
“I only thought of a couple, and they’re not that corny.”
“Let me be the judge of that.”
Steve laughed again, running a hand through his hair as he reflected on what he’d say. You admired him while he did so. It was frustrating, still having that teenage crush on your longtime friend, not being able to let it go, not entirely at least. You sometimes wished you could be his friend the way Robin was to him, or Eddie was to you. It would make it all so much easier, so much less painful than this in two minds you were both stuck in, this blatant desire for more, this fear that it could all be ruined in seconds, poor decisions fragmenting the illusion of a blissful friendship.
“I thought about learning how to play the guitar.”
“Cliché,” you teased. “What else?”
You could see the turn the conversation had taken when Steve hesitated before talking – looked nervous, even.
“Moving out. Getting my own place.”
You stared at Steve, quiet. You couldn’t say you were surprised – he’d been roommates with Eddie since they both enrolled in community college a few years ago. Even after graduating and getting a job, they stayed that way, because it was simple; splitting the bills, having someone to talk to after a lonely day. But it could only work for so long. It was only a matter of time until one or the other got bored and needed a change of scenery. To you, it was no surprise Steve had that revelation first.
“You sound serious,” was the only comment you could express.
“Because I am,” Steve said. “I started looking at one-bedroom apartments to rent in the neighborhood.”
“Does Eddie know?” you asked.
Steve pursed his lips as he shook his head from left to right. You hummed and couldn’t help but look at the young man in question, with his curly hair tied back in a bun and his poor imitation of some football player his team had to guess the name of. You loved this friend group – you loved the dynamic, the hijinks, and the stability. You loved hanging out with Robin, Nancy, and Jonathan at Eddie and Steve's apartment. You loved everything about it and the thought of losing your bearings, of disrupting your habits, made you too sad for the 31st of December, five minutes away from another midnight of confetti, embraces, and promises.
“You’re the first person I told,” Steve eventually said, breaking the silence that had settled between you two. “I thought you could share some of that wisdom you have to advise me.”
You snorted, lazily knocking your shoulder against his arm. “You buttering up to me, Harrington?”
“Only if it’s working.”
You got lost in his beautiful brown eyes, aware of the subtlest things, like his pinky finger brushing your hand timidly, the mint toothpaste on his breath, or how perfectly he wore the sweater you gifted him. It felt so right, standing close to him and toying with the possibility of the unknown. It always did with Steve.
“Okay guys, it’s officially one minute away from midnight, gather ‘round!!” Nancy exclaimed, clapping her hands to get everyone’s attention.
Reluctantly, you left the little bubble of peace and happiness you had created in the kitchen, Steve following closely behind. As you started counting down from ten, surrounded by all your closest and dearest friends, you only had eyes for Steve.
It had become a habit since you first celebrated New Year’s Eve with him years ago – you couldn’t help but wonder if he’d kiss you at midnight. It was a fantasy you’d entertained ever since you were eighteen, the final and first thought of each year that passed without ever becoming real. Each year, naively, you thought it’d be different. But each year, it was the same old song all over again.
As the clock struck midnight and cheers erupted among the friend group, you hugged everyone. You saved the best ‘til last, heart beating frantically as Steve wrapped his arms around you. You buried your face in his neck, getting drunk on his cologne – pathetic, disillusioned.
“Happy New Year, kitten,” Steve whispered in your ear before kissing your cheek – soft, tender, and terribly platonic, as usual.
“Happy New Year, Harrington,” you kissed his cheek in return, the trace of your lipstick leaving a mark on his skin like a temporary tattoo.
And you were too busy thinking about the undone to notice that this year, Steve held you in his arms a little longer than usual.
🌹🌹🌹
“Bro-lentine’s Day?”
“Is that one of those boys band they keep talking about on the radio?"
You held back a laugh at Steve’s question and Eddie’s comment regarding the odd suggestion Robin had just made. The four of you were waiting in line at a Wendy's drive-thru in Steve’s car, the crescent moon shining its feeble light in the night sky above.
“Why would you even think about spending Valentine’s Day with your loser single friends when you have a beautiful girlfriend you could shower with gifts?” Eddie asked, to which Steve, behind the wheel, concurred immediately.
“I mean, I obviously love you guys, but I mostly suggest that because Vickie’s working a night shift on the 14th and I figured it’d be nice to hang out together, the four of us, instead of just… I don’t know, being alone?” Robin admitted.
“Oh, so we’re your stand-ins?” Eddie exclaimed, feigning offense under your amused attention. “Classy, Buckley.”
“That sounds a hell of a lot like a pity party, Rob,” Steve pointed out.
You laughed along as Robin kept putting her foot in her mouth. It was often like that – Robin and Eddie gently bickering in the back seats while you exchanged knowing looks with Steve, in your designated seat at the front of the car.
The only difference was this time, when Steve searched for your eyes to have a silent laugh with you, you avoided his gaze, pretending to look in the distance, thinking about something you needed to say to him but couldn’t find the courage to.
“Okay, fine,” Eddie eventually yielded. “Let’s do this thing. But I have one condition – we go to Steve’s new apartment.”
“Excellent idea!” Robin exclaimed, enthusiastic.
“I told you guys, I’m not done unboxing my stuff, the place is a mess,” Steve argued as he started the ignition to move forward.
Robin rolled her eyes. “You say that like you have a thousand boxes.”
“It's his plethora of hair products - they take up a lot of room,” Eddie teased, which made Robin snort.
“You’re both hilarious, seriously, I can’t stop laughing,” Steve said with a straight face.
“So, it’s a deal,” Eddie said. “Bro-lentine’s Day at Steve’s new place – no, I’m sorry Rob, you’ll have to find another name, I hate how it sounds when it comes out of my mouth.”
“What do you think, babes?”
You only focused back on the conversation when Robin called your name, looking away from the constellations in the sky.
“Hmm? Oh, I’m sorry babes but count me out of this one,” you said with a sorry smile.
Robin laughed, thinking you were probably messing with her. Steve was driving slowly now that the line ahead finally seemed to clear.
“Right, because you have something better to do on Valentine’s Day, of course,” Robin joked while Eddie chuckled.
You tried not to take offense because you knew it was some innocent banter, but it didn’t stop you from frowning.
“Actually, yes, I do,” you contradicted. “I have a date that day.”
The car braked abruptly, causing a blast of horns from the vehicle behind and surprised yelps from the back seats.
“What the fuck, Harrington??” Eddie ranted. “That’s why I keep telling you you’re a shit driver, seriously, how did you manage to get your license, man?"
“Sorry, I got… distracted for a sec’,” Steve apologized.
You couldn’t bear to look Steve in the eye, so you toyed with the bracelets around your wrists and stared at your shoes, waiting for your friends’ reaction to the news.
“Is it someone we know?” Robin asked bluntly. “It’s the cute guy from the music shop at the mall, isn’t it? I knew he had a crush on you, you’re the only one who got Like a Prayer for half price.”
“It was… actually a twenty-percent discount,” you corrected, even though none of your friends cared about that information.
“Who even asks someone out on Valentine’s Day?” Eddie asked himself out loud. “We have three hundred and sixty-five days a year, why choose this nightmare of a commercialized day deliberately?”
“I think it’s cute,” Robin shrugged.
You attempted a smile, but it was nowhere near convincing. Robin and Eddie weren’t even paying attention to you anymore, discussing with each other the pros and cons of a first date on the 14th of February. You gathered the courage to look at Steve, decipher his expression. He might’ve been trying to get your attention a moment ago, but now, he was just staring in front of him, both hands firmly holding the lower part of the wheel.
“So, you’re really going to abandon me with these two idiots, huh?”
Your laugh at Steve’s rhetorical question was a mix of amusement and relief. If there was one thing that meant more than anything to you, it was the harmony between you two. You knew that as soon as you or Steve dated someone, that harmony was threatened. It had happened before. It was a fatality.
“You’ll be just fine,” you assured softly. “It’s just one night.”
Steve chuckled, finally making it to the pickup window. “Yeah, you’re right. Just one night. Easy-peasy.”
At that moment, you couldn’t have imagined that on the 14th of February, you’d find yourself knocking on Steve’s door at ten in the evening, makeup ruined by your disappointed tears, holding tight to your coat and shame in the cold evening air.
When Steve opened the door and saw you standing before him, he blinked at the unexpected sight of you sniffing and shivering.
“What are you doing here, kitten? Is everything okay?”
As soon as you heard Steve’s voice and the concern he displayed, it was out of your control – another tear rolled down your cheek.
“Oh no. Come here.”
You didn’t need to be asked twice- when Steve opened his arms at you, you dived in, letting him hug you tight, accepting his warmth and empathy.
“Dude stood you up?” Steve asked, voice muffled as his face was buried in your hair.
“Worse,” you said. “He was there.”
Steve huffed, because it could’ve been a funny anecdote if not for the dried mascara that ran under your eyes.
“So, we’re not going to the music shop again, huh?”
“I never said it was the guy from the music shop,” you pointed out.
“You never denied it either.”
You snorted and you felt Steve smile against your head. He was the first to part from your embrace, but you were under the impression he could’ve stayed like that much longer.
“What’s taking so long, dingus?” Robin shouted from the living room. “You need help with the pizzas?”
“It’s not the pizzas,” Steve retorted as you stepped inside the apartment.
Both Robin and Eddie turned around on the couch and looked equally surprised to see you there.
“Is it okay if I crash Bro-lentine’s Day?” you asked sheepishly.
“We’re not calling it that!” Eddie said in a singsong.
“You’re more than welcome to crash Bro-lentine’s Day, babes,” Robin told you while wrapping her arm around your shoulders as you sat next to her.
“I give up,” Eddie sighed before heading for the kitchen.
“What did the loser do to get you like that?” Robin inquired, touching your face where the tears had dried.
“Honestly, he wasn’t even that bad,” you explained. “He just… wasn’t what I expected. I guess I’m tired of getting my hopes up and ending up disappointed every time.” You paused, reflecting on that state of mind. “It’s stupid, I know.”
“It’s not stupid,” Robin contradicted with a sympathetic smile. “It’s Valentine’s Day, anyone would’ve expected a perfect date.”
“Hence why you don’t date on that doomed day.”
“Can’t you just let it go already, Eddie??”
You smiled softly at your friends’ innocent quarrel, and you realized in the end, there were no other people you’d rather spend the day of love and romance with.
So, you settled comfortably on the couch in Steve’s new apartment, surrounded by dozens of wrapped boxes and your closest friends with a glass of wine and a cheesy movie to watch, sharing the details of your date with them.
“Well, his loss, darling, not yours,” Eddie said in conclusion to your story.
“Definitely,” Robin nodded.
You smiled lightly and you thought maybe, just maybe, they were right.
“Why are you smiling like that, Harrington?” Eddie then asked.
“Hmm? Oh, no reason,” Steve answered casually before finding a tiny spot between you and Robin on the couch.
🎉🎉🎉
There was nothing more frustrating than being late to meet your friends and having your car’s engine make that hideous sputtering sound as you kept putting the key in the ignition without it ever starting.
“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” you echoed in sync with the car’s noises.
“I see Gina’s being cranky today.”
You glared at Steve, sitting in the passenger seat and enjoying himself a little too much.
“It’s too hot outside, she doesn’t like it when it’s too hot,” you explained to yourself more than Steve.
“It’s the 4th of July, kitten. It’s always hot on the 4th of July.”
“Thank you so much for this enlightening forecast, Harrington, have you ever considered a career in meteorology?”
You bit your lip when you realized how harsh your comeback had sounded. You slowly turned your head to lay regretful eyes on your friend.
“Sorry,” you winced.
“You’re good. I think I know why Gina’s cranky today – she takes from her owner.”
You rolled your eyes but didn’t bother denying it.
The sun was starting to set in a sky adorned with pink and orange hues only summer could take credit for. The air was hot, crickets chirping and bees buzzing while the whole town was already busying itself in preparation for the incoming festivities.
For the past six years, on Independence Day, you’ve met all your friends by the lake on the outskirts of Hawkins to have a barbecue with beers and watch the fireworks. It was a tradition you all honored religiously each Fourth of July.
Except this year, Robin was celebrating with Vickie’s family, Eddie was working at the music camp, which meant you were spending the evening with Nancy, Jonathan, and Steve, a group hangout that looked an awful lot like a double date, and it worked yourself up into quite a state.
“Did you get the Buds?” you asked Steve as the ignition still wouldn’t start.
“Packs in the trunk,” Steve answered straight off.
“And the blankets?”
“In the backseat.”
“The radio for the music?”
“Nance’s taking care of it.”
You fell back in your seat after failing one too many times to start the car and just closed your eyes, sighing heavily. You wiped your hands on your shorts, the summer heat getting the best of you, chest heaving and patience hanging by a thread.
“We can take my car tonight, maybe Gina needs the rest,” Steve suggested. It irritated you even more.
“We always take your car, tonight’s the one night a year we take mine,” you argued, putting the keys in the ignition again.
“We’ll take yours another time, then, it’s no big deal.”
“No,” you just said.
Without a heads-up, you got out of the vehicle. Steve followed you as you opened the hood to check the engine. You were rough in your endeavor, hair falling out on your face and hands quickly stained with oil.
“Why are you being so stubborn today?” Steve asked you, tone cutting sharp like a knife.
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are! You can tell as much as I can your car’s not going anywhere tonight, mine’s parked right behind and ready to go, so why are we losing time for nothing?”
“She’s just being picky right now but I’m getting there. She needs a little boost and she’s good to go,” you insisted, wiping the back of your hand on your forehead before realizing it’d smudge the oil.
“Yeah, sure, at this rate, she’ll be good to go for Thanksgiving,” Steve said ironically.
You shut the hood close abruptly, shooting daggers at Steve as he stood in front of you with his arms crossed. He looked just as irritated as you did.
“You’re being an asshole,” you stated matter-of-factly.
Steve snickered, eyebrows raising like he couldn’t believe what he just heard.
“Oh, I’m the asshole in this situation? You’re a fine one to talk!”
“Are you seriously turning the tables on me right now?!”
“I’m not, you’re clearly in a mood today and you’re taking it out on me! Last I heard, I’m not a punching bag!”
Your face twisted into a scowl because Steve annoyed you a great deal, but mostly because he was right. You were far from being good company today, and today was meant to be fun, chill, eventful. You could blame it all on Gina, but you knew that was just the tip of the iceberg.
“I’m just saying I’m going to get the car started just fine, all I need is a few minutes to figure it out. And we’re already late anyway, they won’t hate us for the extra ten minutes,” you said as you opened the hood again.
“This is not about the car and we both know it,” Steve stated, sure of himself. Of course, he was – he knew you like the back of his hand.
You closed the hood as soon as you opened it, walking closer to Steve to face him properly.
“Maybe you should take it easy if you want her to work, you know,” Steve remarked.
“Why don’t you just say what’s on my mind, Steve? Since you apparently know it better than I do,” you hit him with your words.
“But that’s just the thing! I don’t!” Steve exclaimed, his voice raising an octave. “I don’t know what’s going on with you right now and you won’t tell me a goddamn thing!”
“You already know what’s going on with me, I made it perfectly clear – I want my fucking car to start so we can go and meet our friends, as we do every year!”
“And I made it perfectly clear that we can take my car, so why are we still arguing about this??”
“Because it’s the way things are supposed to be!!”
The silence that followed that revelation felt intrusive. You couldn’t wait for Steve to tell you off, to argue with you some more, but instead, he didn’t say another word and just stared at you, dumbfounded. It allowed you to reflect on your behavior of the past ten minutes and you immediately dropped your eyes to look at your shoes, ashamed.
“What do you mean?” Steve asked you then, voice softer.
You sighed and looked in the distance, avoiding his gaze.
“It’s the tradition. On the 4th of July, you come to my place to help me pack everything, we take my car to pick up Eddie and Robin on the way to the lake, we meet Nance and Jonathan there, then, you and Eddie set the barbecue while Jonathan and I take care of the music, and Nance and Robin lay the blankets to make us cozy. And we eat and drink until they shoot the fireworks from downtown – it’s how the day is supposed to go.”
“Right, and it’s how it’s going to go today,” Steve assured, confused.
“No, it’s not. Rob and Eddie are not there this year, and because of Gina, we’re late and missing out on the sunset.” You paused, taking a breath. “It’s what I look forward to the most. Watching the sunset on the lake with you guys. All of you.”
Steve relaxed his shoulders and breathed out like he finally made sense of the underlying problem. He stepped closer to you and his hand cupped your face, willing you to look him in the eyes.
“Okay, I’m going to take a wild guess and assume it has something to do with Nancy and Jonathan talking about moving to Chicago next year for Nancy’s job,” Steve said. “Am I boiling or getting colder?”
The rhetorical question elicited a weak smile on your lips.
“I know Chicago’s not that far from Hawkins, but… I like the way things are right now, you know?” you explained while Steve listened, nodding. “I like that we can hang out whenever we want to, show up unannounced at each other’s place, and whatnot.”
“You can still do that if they move to Chicago. It’ll just take you more than three hours to get there,” he teased you.
Steve did it – he made you laugh. “I’m not so sure Gina would survive the trip.”
“I’ll let you borrow my car, then,” Steve whispered, and even though you were bantering, it sounded like a promise.
You chuckled, the knot in your stomach coming undone as Steve put his thumb to your forehead, stroking where you had wiped the oil stain earlier.
“You look like shit,” he told you unceremoniously.
“And you’re a shitty friend,” you bit back, making you both smile.
Friend. The denomination never felt strong enough to define what you and Steve meant to one another. Yet, it was the only one you used, the only one that brought you comfort, especially in those blurry moments that kept you wondering why that boy had always been so sweet and kind to you, even when you felt undeserving.
You jumped at the sound of a car honking from the street, bringing you back to reality as you and Steve turned your heads to see what happened. You felt amused, and somehow relieved when you saw Nancy popping her head out the passenger window of Jonathan’s car like a beautifully staged interruption.
“Oh my God, you guys are late too?” Nancy shouted at them. “I told Jonathan to go over the speed limit, and as you can imagine, he was not happy about it.”
Steve laughed, and you followed suit because it was almost ridiculous, how perfect the situation had turned out. Sure, things felt different this year, with winds of change impending, and the future of your friend group unclear. But at least, you were all on the same page.
“While we’re here, get in the car with us!” Nancy offered, gesturing for you to come closer. “Maybe we can still catch the sunset.”
You exchanged an amused look with Steve, silently agreeing that your uncooperative car and your latest conversation would remain a secret you’d share only between you. Your friends didn’t need to know the reason why you were late.
So, you and Steve hurried to put everything in Jonathan’s car, climbed in the backseat, and made it to the lake just in time to admire the remnant of sunset and put everything into place to wait for the fireworks.
And as you put a blanket over your and Nancy’s shoulders, the fire crackling in the quiet of the evening around you, you couldn’t help but search for Steve’s eyes. He was already looking at you, sitting across the fire next to Jonathan. You smiled when you realized, and he winked at you, playful, secretive.
Maybe you were lying to yourself, in the end. Maybe you didn’t mean it when you said you liked things the way they were. Maybe there was one thing you wouldn’t mind changing, you thought as you looked away from Steve to look up at the fireworks now erupting in the sky above.
🎃🎃🎃
“I’m not sure I get it, Robin – who are you dressed as?”
“Are you seriously asking me that question, Nance? Marty McFly? Don’t tell me you still haven’t watched Back to the Future!”
“I didn’t have time.”
“In five years, you didn’t have time to watch a two-hour movie?”
“I work a lot, okay?!”
You were only half-listening to Robin and Nancy’s bickering as you finished getting ready for the Halloween party that your high school classmate Tina and her best friend Vicki Carmichael threw every year.
Usually, on the 31st of October, you would just crash at Steve and Eddie’s former apartment with the group, stuffing your face with popcorn and watching horror movies. But this year, the boys didn’t live at that apartment anymore and it was the last Halloween you’d all spend together in Hawkins before Jonathan and Nancy moved to Chicago next January. You all agreed it called for a memorable celebration, hence why you were now getting ready with the girls at your place.
“So, you mean to tell me you haven’t had time to watch Back to the Future, but you had it to watch all three Star Wars movies, judging on your costume?” Robin asked while Nancy grunted in frustration.
“I told you last week, me and Jonathan are wearing couple’s costumes – he’s Han Solo and I’m Princess Leia, obviously,” she explained while pointing at her long white dress and peculiar hairstyle.
“Couple’s costumes,” Robin repeated. “Kids these days, they’re just talking nonsense.”
“It’s romantic and fun, you’re just jealous you didn’t think about it for you and Vickie,” Nancy retorted as you were starting to think you were in the middle of playground taunts.
“Oh yeah, I should’ve asked Vickie to dress as Doc, it would’ve been crazy romantic,” Robin sassed.
Once the heels were at your feet, you turned around on your chair to stare at your friends.
“You two realize how stupid your fight is, right?” you chipped in.
“We’re not fighting,” Robin and Nancy said in unison.
You rolled your eyes and turned back around to face your vanity and finish your makeup, but it was too late – you had involuntarily drawn the attention to you.
“And who are you dressing as, hot stuff?” Nancy cooed while smirking at your reflection in the mirror.
You hummed the Dirty Dancing theme song to answer her question, and she nodded approvingly, taking in your pink dress and silver heels.
“I love it,” Nancy smiled.
“Thanks,” you said as you stood up. “And you two look equally great, so stop biting each other’s heads off.”
“So, if you’re Jennifer Grey, does it mean Steve’s dressing as Patrick Swayze? I could see him pulling that off.”
Robin’s question took you aback for it came out of nowhere. You gaped at her, face warm and thoughts racing.
“Hmm, no, he’s not. That’d… be a great couple’s costume, for sure. But we’re not a couple, so…” you stammered, awfully self-conscious.
“Well, yeah, but you might as well be.”
“Robin,” Nancy reprimanded her with warning eyes.
“What??” Robin exclaimed while you watched, confused. “It’s not like she doesn’t know what I mean, it’s been going on for years, this… whatever this is. And honestly, we’re all tired of pretending like we can’t see it.”
Nancy blushed, embarrassment written all over her face as she rubbed a hand over it.
“I don’t… understand,” you admitted, tugging at the hems of your dress to anchor yourself in the moment.
“There’s nothing to understand, babes,” Nancy said softly. “Robin was just joking. Right, Rob?”
Nancy was now glaring at Robin, who had no option but to concur. It felt like you were missing something there, and you didn’t like it. Were your friends talking behind your back? Were they annoyed at your relationship with Steve? Annoyed at the ambiguity, the unsaid, the attraction? Was it all that obvious as of late?
“I’m sorry, guys,” Robin said with a sigh. “I had a fight with Vickie earlier today and it messed me up a little bit.”
“Oh, babes,” Nancy softened, hugging Robin from the side.
“I know that’s no excuse for being a jerk,” Robin winced in your direction.
“You’re all right,” you said with a sympathetic smile, and both Robin and Nancy seemed relieved.
The three of you talked Robin through her problem until it was time to meet the guys outside. Nancy was the first to exit the apartment, but Robin lingered by the front door, hand hovering hesitantly above the handle. Eventually, she made up her mind and turned over to face you.
“I just want you to know that I’m really sorry for earlier,” Robin told you.
“It’s okay, Rob, I get it. You were upset about your fight with Vickie and said stuff you didn’t mean. It’s fine, it happens to all of us,” you said, wondering why Robin had felt the need to bounce back on that.
“No, but see, that’s the thing – I did mean it,” she contradicted. “I just didn’t say it like I should’ve.”
“And how should you say it?” you asked with a frown.
Robin looked uncertain now, fidgeting where she stood. You imagined that if Nancy were still in the room with you two, she’d probably give Robin an earful.
“When I said that we’re all tired of pretending like we can’t see what there is between you and Steve, I didn’t mean that in a bad way,” she elaborated under your undivided attention. “It’s just… We’re your friends, and you know, as friends, we want what’s best for each other, I’m sure you feel that way about us too –“
“Robin, cut to the chase, please,” you interjected before she could lose herself in her explanation.
“We just think if you two admitted what you’re both obviously feeling for each other… You could be very happy together. And the rest of us would be too because damn, we’ve watched it happen since high school and it’s about time one of you does something about it, babes.”
You stared at the door behind Robin, wishing to run away from this conversation that was too much for you to handle. It was the first time one of your friends confronted you on the matter, upfront, and you had no idea how to react.
“I’m not expecting you to say anything, don’t worry,” Robin added. “I just wanted you to know what everyone else is thinking. Do what you want with that information.”
You opened your mouth to respond but you heard the distinctive sound of Eddie’s van parking on the street, your sign that it was time to go and end this conversation for good. You rushed to the door, opening it before Robin could and hurtling down the stairs to some extent on your heels. Once you were outside, you breathed in slowly, calming down and processing what one of your best friends had just confided to you.
You and Robin met Nancy on the curb as Eddie slid the van’s side door open to let you in the backseats.
“Evening, ladies,” Eddie greeted.
“Wow, you’re Elton!” Nancy exclaimed after studying Eddie’s costume, a white ensemble with feathers and glitter that was the singer’s signature.
“You could get that but not mine?!” Robin exclaimed, almost offended.
“Move on, Rob, and let’s have fun tonight,” Nancy teased her while sitting near Jonathan, dressed in the easily identifiable Han Solo outfit.
Robin took the passenger seat next to Eddie, leaving you with no choice but to sit next to Steve at the back of the van. Of course. Almost like it had been on purpose, you thought to yourself.
You settled next to him and you were almost insecure, something you’d never felt around him. You resented Robin for not knowing best, and not keeping her mouth shut.
“Hey, kitten,” Steve welcomed you as you smoothed the edges of your dress.
“Hey, Harrington,” you said in return, attempting to smile at him.
You studied his costume as he studied yours. Aviator sunglasses on his head, green jumpsuit, sleeves rolled back under his elbows – Maverick from Top Gun. You'd gushed over the character when the movie came out, and you wondered if it happened to be a funny coincidence or if Steve had picked that costume on purpose.
“Baby,” Steve suddenly said.
“What?” you choked out with widened eyes.
Steve frowned. “Your costume,” he clarified. “Baby from Dirty Dancing, right?”
You processed the information and chuckled awkwardly, feeling stupid. You let Robin get in your head and you hated it.
“Right,” you breathed out as Eddie drove away.
Something passed in Steve’s eyes, and you were not sure what it was. Hesitation, desire, resignation… You watched and waited, fingers laced on your lap, heartbeat echoing in your ears.
“You look… very nice,” Steve told you in a hushed voice.
You knew neither Nancy nor Jonathan could’ve heard it – they were engaged in a vivid conversation with Robin and Eddie in the front of the car. It was an intimate declaration, meant for you and you only.
Your lips parted subtly, but Steve’s eyes caught it regardless. It did not soothe the rate of your beating heart.
“Thanks,” you croaked it, throat tight. “You’re not too bad yourself."
Steve smiled briefly, then did the strangest thing. He leaned in, his face awfully close to yours, and you thought; this was it. He was going to kiss you. Right then, right there, in the back of Eddie’s van dressed as the guy from Top Gun on the way to a Halloween party.
And as much as you wanted him to kiss you, it wasn’t how you wanted him to do it. Not the place, not the time. Maybe Steve realized it too because he moved away as quickly as he had gotten closer to you, clearing his throat and watching out the window like nothing happened.
The party at Tina’s villa was loud, messy, and packed with former classmates – some you were glad to run into, others you made a strong case of avoiding. You had a nice chat with your high school sweetheart, even though you could feel Steve’s eyes on you the whole time. When you couldn’t bear the weight of his yearning gaze, you took a sip of that rum punch Vicki Carmichael had made – a few times.
You fled to the bathroom around eleven to freshen up and have some alone time. You were reasonably drunk, but still conscious enough to notice someone was already in the room when you barged into it.
“Oh, so sorry, I didn’t know someone was in there –”
You cut the apology short when you recognized the person’s reflection staring at you in the mirror.
“Becky, hi,” you said, surprised.
The girl greeted you back, the sound of your name imperceptible amid the party people shouting in the hallway. Now, you were reasonably drunk and very uncomfortable.
Becky was the last girl Steve had dated. They had been together for two years and seemed happy until Becky broke up with Steve overnight. Everyone assumed she’d probably met someone else, but you always felt like that was too simple and there was another more plausible explanation.
“You okay?” Becky asked you.
“Y – yeah, I just needed to cool off,” you mumbled.
You assumed Becky would urge you to clear off and leave her be, but instead, she stepped aside to give you some space in front of the sink.
You closed the door behind you and stood in front of the mirror, silently watching Becky perfect the mascara on her lashes. You quickly gathered she was dressed as Madonna in the Material Girl music video.
“It’s… been a while,” you said to break that awful silence. “What are you up to these days?”
“Small talk, huh? I thought we were way past that.”
You chuckled, ill at ease and too drunk to have a proper conversation. Out of all the girls Steve had dated, Becky was the one who unsettled you the most. You never knew what to expect of her.
“How’s Stevie?” Becky then asked before reapplying some lipstick.
Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was Becky's inquiry, but something turned your stomach. You always hated it when she called Steve that name. It reminded you of a jealous version of yourself you’d rather leave in the past.
“He’s good,” you said casually, no matter your inner turmoil. “You know. Same old, same old.”
Becky’s lips turned into the semblance of a smile.
“I take it you two still aren’t together.”
You felt your heart drop at that comment. What did she mean, “still”? And what was up with everyone and their insights regarding your relationship with Steve?
“It sounded a lot less petty in my head, I promise,” Becky said when you stayed silent.
“It’s not that,” you replied. “I’m just… surprised you would say that.”
Becky sighed and turned around to face you. It looked like she was about to get a lot of things off her chest, and you were not sober enough for that.
“You know why I broke up with Steve?” Becky asked you, and she obviously wasn’t waiting for an answer. “Why all the girls he dates eventually break things off with him?”
You blinked. You didn’t want Steve’s ex-girlfriend to share that information with you. You had absolutely no desire to detain such knowledge. Yet, you shook your head, permitting Becky to say what she really thought, too curious to pretend you didn’t care.
“Because it’s painfully obvious he’s in love with you and we’re just here passing time until he finally has the balls to tell you.”
In love. You had thought about it all with Steve – he thinks I’m pretty; he’s attracted to me; he likes me more than a friend. But never in your wildest dreams had you dared fantasize about these powerful little words.
He’s in love with you, Becky’s voice repeated like a broken record on a loop in your mind. Taunting, hopeful, too good to be true.
You found yourself sitting on the bathtub’s edge, both arms at your side, speechless. Becky leaned against the wall across from you and chuckled like she'd just shared the funniest story.
“Don’t tell me this is shocking news.”
“I…” you started without finishing your thought. You were at a loss for words and your head started spinning, the fateful sentence seeping into your mind faster than the liquor in your system.
“Look, obviously, it wasn’t my place to tell, but you know, despite everything, I always liked you,” Becky confessed. “You were always nice to me, even though I could tell it was not easy for you.”
You lowered your eyes, apologetic. It was true – you had always been nice to Becky. After all, it wasn’t the girl’s fault if you had feelings you’d never dare confess to your best friend.
“That’s why I’m telling you,” Becky resumed. “I’m trying to help you two out. This whole faint-hearted act was probably cute when you were sixteen, but you’re adults now. Are you waiting for him to get married and start a family with someone else to tell him how you feel?”
The mere thought made your heart ache. You didn’t want to picture Steve married to someone else. It made you nauseous.
“Sorry, that was harsh,” Becky apologized.
“Why are you doing this?” you asked her in a whisper, feeling like your head was about to explode. “Why are you telling this to me and not him?”
Becky stared at you like you’d just said the most nonsensical thing.
“Because he’s an idiot and a coward. If you’re waiting for him to make a move, you’ll wait a long time, honey.”
You spaced out for a moment, and when you returned to your senses, Becky was gone, leaving you alone with your spiraling thoughts in that bathroom.
Becky was right. Steve was an idiot and a coward. The inebriation clouded all your good judgments, so you got to your feet and walked out of the bathroom to look for Steve. After everything that happened tonight, you were confused, upset, and even angry.
You found him outside by the pool, joking around with some guys from his old swim team in high school. You marched to him, bold and determined, and he didn’t notice you right away, so you hooked your fingers to the fabric around his arm and dragged him behind you. You ignored the guys whistling at you both or Steve protesting and asking what had gotten into you until you walked into an empty room on the side of the villa and closed the patio door behind you.
“Okay, what the hell was that about??” Steve exclaimed, his voice loud in the quiet of the room, away from the party noises and the music. “Have you lost your shit??”
“You’re an idiot,” you told him in an accusing tone.
“Tell me about it,” Steve sassed you.
“And a coward!”
“Oh, so you have a whole list, huh?”
“That’s what Becky said.”
Steve looked at you in silence, processing what you just said.
“Of course, you talked to Becky….” he sighed. “Let me guess – she said I stole her INXS tape? She needs to let it go, she clearly lost it, she can’t keep blaming me for –“
“I don’t want you to get married, Steve,” you interrupted him, blurting out what you had been obsessing about for the last ten minutes.
Steve froze and looked at you like you were insane. And you might just be, you realized. You took a step back, dizzy and embarrassed.
“I… was not planning on getting married any time soon. Where is that coming from?” Steve asked you, stepping toward you.
You bit your tongue, holding from saying another stupidity you’d immediately regret. Suddenly, your choice to confront Steve and isolate yourselves in a bedroom didn’t look like the brilliant plan it seemed to be five minutes ago.
“Forget it, I’m drunk, and I don’t know what I’m saying,” you stammered, head low as you walked toward the door.
“Hey,” Steve brought you short by taking your hand before you had the chance to leave. His touch was tender, your hand fit perfectly in his, and you understood what Becky meant when she said "still not together".
“Talk to me,” Steve urged, lacing his fingers with yours. It was unbearable, how natural it felt. “You used to tell me everything, and now, I have no idea what’s up with you anymore.”
You swallowed the lump in your throat, wishing you could go back in time and stop yourself from putting the two of you in this awful situation.
“Come on, kitten, we’re friends, you can tell me anything.”
Friends. You loathed the word that normally comforted you. You couldn’t stand to hear it.
He’s in love with you. How could he say you were friends when he was the one you called first when your car broke down, when he’d snuck out of college to comfort you after you got dumped by your ex-boyfriend, when he drove you across the country to see your sick grandfather for the last time? How did he have the audacity to minimize what you meant to each other after taking such a significant place in your heart for years and years?
“We’re not friends,” you mumbled.
You looked at him and thought you could see heartbreak in his eyes. You’d hurt him. You’d hurt him badly.
“We’re not?” he asked, his voice breaking in the inflection.
You held your breath as Steve questioned you with glistening eyes. He didn’t understand what you were trying to tell him, and it was killing you.
“You know what I mean,” you breathed out, unable to say the actual words.
He’s in love with you. It was so simple. Why couldn’t he just admit it?
You’re in love with him too, why can’t you say it? you admitted to yourself.
Because no, it wasn’t that simple. Steve wasn’t the only coward in this situation. After all these years, it was so scary to admit, even more to say out loud. How could you expect him to say it when you were terrified of doing it yourself?
Eventually, Steve let go of your hand, an almost insignificant gesture that shattered your heart into a million pieces.
“Actually… No. I don’t know what you mean,” he said, defeated, before leaving the room.
You did it. You ruined everything, you thought as you sat on the floor and cried your heartbreak away.
🎁🎁🎁
It was supposed to be the merriest day of the year, with children's laughter filling the air and countless presents to unwrap. Yet, your heart was not in it, and you had to hold back tears during dinner that night at your parents’ house.
You hadn’t talked to or heard from Steve in almost two months, and it was officially the longest you’d spent without seeing each other. The thought was excruciating. He was your best friend in the entire world, you were head over heels in love with him, and the absence of him was like gasping for air on the verge of drowning.
But today was a merry day. Today was all about spending time together, eating a nice homemade meal, and reuniting. So, you played the part – you ate dinner, played board games with your cousins, and chatted with your uncles and aunts. You did what you were expected to do, and nothing more.
When you returned to your place, to your sad and lonely apartment, you sat down on the floor, still in your red party dress, back to your couch with a glass of wine, and flipped through a photo album Nancy and Jonathan had given you for your twenty-fifth birthday.
It was a recollection of happy times Jonathan had captured with his camera throughout the years – from graduating high school to renting your first crappy apartment, taking your first trip to New York with the group, and celebrating various occasions with them.
You took the last photo from the album, holding it between your fingers to get a closer look. It was a picture of you and Steve on New Year’s Eve the year before. You were posing for the camera, smiling from ear to ear. You were looking at the lens, but Steve only had eyes for you, holding you in his arms with rosy cheeks. When you looked at it like that, in retrospect and from another’s perspective, it seemed so evident that the guy in the picture loved the girl posing next to him.
You were fully crying now, blurry eyes and stuffy nose in contradiction with the holiday spirit. You were about to put the picture away in the album when something in the back of it caught your eye.
There was a note in the handwriting you would recognize anywhere at any given time – Steve’s. Your heart skipped a beat. It had gone unnoticed the first time you’d looked through the album at your birthday party and none of your friends had mentioned a thing about it. You started to look at a handful of pictures to see if others had something hidden on the other side, but they were all blank. All except for one.
You took a deep breath, pondering. Maybe Nancy and Jonathan were unaware of it, but Steve not saying anything didn’t make sense. This note had been there, forgotten in an album gathering dust in your bookcase, for months, and it could’ve gone on for years had you not felt nostalgic on that specific day.
You wondered if you should read it or pretend you’d never seen it. It was only a few words; they were probably some meaningless inside jokes or more personal birthday wishes. But they could also be something more, much more.
You knew you couldn’t live with the uncertainty, so you gathered your courage and read.
Happy birthday, kitten! Don’t know if you’ll ever see this, but I want you to know you’re my favorite person in the entire world, and I love you. Yours always, Steve PS: stop being a sourpuss just ‘cause you turned 25
It had been there. Right there, under your nose, all along. Yours always.
Before you could think it through, your coat was around your shoulders and you were behind the wheel, ready to drive to Steve’s place and tell him how you felt. Screw the stability and the uncertainty – you loved the boy too and you needed to tell him tonight.
It was past midnight, the air was cold and the streetlights reflected in the puddles on the pavement as you drove a little too fast toward Steve’s building. Your heart was racing in your chest, anticipation mingling with excitement while you rehearsed what you’d say in your head.
You were going to confess your true feelings to Steve. Nothing could scare you anymore.
Except, perhaps, the ominous sputtering sound your car made when you tried to restart at a traffic light.
“No, no, no, no, no, come on, not now!!” you begged desperately.
The ignition wouldn’t turn over, and you could’ve screamed at the sky. Was it some sort of cosmic sign preventing you from making the biggest mistake of your life?
You got out of the car to check the engine under the hood. When you opened it, it did something it’d never done before – it gave off fumes.
You coughed violently as you stepped away from the car, looking all around you and realizing you were alone on the street in the middle of the night with a kaput car and wasted opportunities.
“This is a nightmare,” you told yourself out loud. “This can’t be happening to me.”
Your eyes burned as you were about to cry again, disheartened and pathetic. Then, some headlights on the other side of the road caught your attention.
A maroon car stopped next to you and turned the ignition off. You held your breath, recognizing the vehicle instantly and wondering if the universe wouldn’t happen to be messing with you.
The driver exited the car and eyed yours up and down before chuckling.
“I had a feeling Gina wouldn’t make it through the year,” he said.
You laughed, the sound choked up in your throat at the improbability of the situation. You couldn’t believe Steve was there, rescuing you even without meaning to, always being there when you needed him to, the constant one in your life. As luck would have it, you thought.
“What are you doing here this late at night?” you asked him.
“Could ask you the same thing,” he remarked with a smile.
You returned his smile, nervously fixing your hair. The wind was rising, and the air was filled with change and expectations.
“I was… on my way to your place, actually,” you explained, somehow shyly. “I wanted to talk to you.”
A few seconds passed until Steve spoke again like he was processing the information. “That’s funny, I was on my way to your place too.”
You swallowed, unable to stop hoping. “You were?”
“Yeah… Of course, I was,” Steve shrugged. “I couldn’t sleep, and I realized I never got a chance to give you your present because we weren't speaking to each other, so… Anyways, I can just give it to you now.”
“We’re literally in the middle of the road, Steve.”
He looked around at the empty and silent street for good measure. “Yeah, and it’s not like it’s rush hour right now, I think we’re good.”
You opened your mouth to retort but opted against saying anything else. It was your first interaction with him in weeks, it was out of the question to ruin it just to have the last word.
The young man got something from the backseat of his car and immediately handed it to you. You took it carefully, turning it over in your hand to try and figure out what was beneath the wrapping paper.
“I… don’t have your gift,” you admitted, crestfallen. “I mean, I did get you something, but I didn’t think to give it to you tonight.”
“It’s okay, kitten. Just open it.”
You complied, slowly unwrapping the paper with trembling fingers and shortness of breath as Steve observed quietly.
You were now looking at a book’s front cover, and it might’ve seemed unremarkable at first glance, but it was not some common paperback.
“First limited edition,” Steve explained, even though you already knew. “You talked about it at Eddie’s place a couple of months ago, that it was almost impossible to find today, and you’d love to have it. So, I went to every bookstore in town to ask if they knew where to get it, and one of them gave me their counterpart's number from England, they had to send it all the way here but… Yeah,” Steve concluded, face red and hands in his pocket. “I found it.”
You looked up from the book to lock eyes with Steve. He seemed expectant and abashed, almost anxious of your reaction.
“You went to all this trouble for me?” you asked in disbelief.
He pursed his lips and nodded as if it was that obvious.
“You’re well worth the trouble.”
All this time, you had expected blatant signs, big gestures, and declarations, when Steve had been telling you how he felt in his own way for years. It had always been there – in fleeting touches, longing stares, and understated actions.
“I read it,” you eventually confessed.
"The book?" Steve asked, puzzled.
“No," you laughed. "The note you wrote in my photo album. I read it tonight.”
You noticed the way Steve held his breath at that revelation. Suddenly, you no longer cared that you were standing in the middle of the road with your dead car by your side. Suddenly, all that mattered was the pretty boy standing before you and what you felt for him.
“It was corny, right?” Steve said with a nervous laugh. “I know you don’t like it when it’s corny but –“
“Can’t you just be serious for one minute, Harrington?” you cut him short with an amused eye roll. “I’m trying to tell you how I feel here.”
“I know,” Steve breathed out. “I’ve been trying to tell you how I feel for months now, but I never find the right words.”
In the elation of the moment, your words got a mind of their own, and you heard yourself saying: “Show me, then.”
Friends. A designation you held onto for the past eight years, a status that put things into perspective whenever Steve introduced a new girlfriend to the group, a word that freed you of your guilt when getting into relationships yourself, a term that helped you when you would yearn for something more, something you thought to be unrealistic and unreachable.
That word no longer held any power over you now that you were in Steve Harrington’s arms and he leaned in to seal his lips with yours into a long-awaited and overdue kiss, the promise of a cherished and beautiful future.
You'd envisioned the scene time and time again in your mind, but none of the imaginary scenarios your fantasies created could measure up to that kiss. It was sweet, yet demanding, like you were the air he needed to breathe. He kissed you like he loved - sincerely, tenderly, and intensely. You smiled against his mouth, and your heart melted when he did it too.
When you parted from him, lips swollen and eyelashes fluttering, you felt like everything was finally right and mourned the time you wasted being scared of changes.
“So… What now?” you whispered, getting a strand of hair out of Steve’s face to look at him better.
The boy held your gaze, enamored and enraptured like you’d never seen him before. You enjoyed it while it lasted because it was a momentary bliss until reality caught up.
“Well, first, we’re going to call a tow truck," Steve said as he entwined his fingers with yours. "And then, you’ll bid farewell to Gina,” he nodded toward the car.
Your heart tightened in your chest. You’d almost forgotten about your car. It was truly ironic, how you needed to say goodbye to your oldest partner while embracing a new beginning with your best friend.
“Can it wait until tomorrow?” you asked while batting your lashes at him.
“Hey, just because we’re going to make out a lot from now on doesn’t mean you get to do that,” Steve jokingly scolded you while gesturing at your face.
“Do what?” you asked, coy and amused.
Steve laughed and put his arm around your shoulders. “Come on, kitten, I’m taking you home.”
At first, it didn’t feel like much had changed between you and Steve. You were still teasing each other, spending time with the group before Nancy and Jonathan’s departure, and arguing about what car you should buy now that Gina was in a junkyard.
But things had changed for the better, and you realized it on New Year’s Eve when Steve kissed you at midnight, as he would for many new years to come.
❤️❤️❤️
#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington fic#steve harrington fanfiction#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington x you#steve harrington oneshot#stranger things#stranger things fic#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington fluff
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ caleb x reader
synopsis: after suddenly arriving to a place you have never been before, abruptly a familiar figure appears in front of you. it's caleb.. but isn't he dead? what's going on? left with unanswered questions from a new caleb, you break the news that you wish to go home.. but someone doesn't let you leave..
tw: smut, MDNI +18, cream pie, sex on the desk!!, unprotected sex (pls use protection), caleb isn't letting you cum till he says so 0.<, fingering, love bites, fast but long plot before getting smut?, long smut (idk how to write smut help) you and him couldn't deny each other, he fucks you in his uniform (sorry uniforms is a turn off), slight aftercare??, caleb's arms mentioned hehe
wc: 2.2k
a/n: first smut ive ever written >:) as much as i love the sweet caleb we used to have, i also love the new possessive caleb we're getting! happy reading!
caleb’s office was a ideal display of order. everything had a place, a name, and date. he was sat at his desk, focused, his jaw tense as he worked through another report. The faint hum of the ship's engines was the only sound in the room. you had no idea how you ended up with caleb, he was just pronounced dead and now he's back with a change of character.
you stood in the doorway, arms crossed, watching him in silence. he was back but things were different now.
somehow he returned with a different air about him. he’d been through something, something you couldn’t even begin to piece together. the walls he’d built around himself were unbreakable, but above that, you couldn’t help but feel drawn to him.
“staring won’t get you anywhere, pipsqueak,” caleb said without looking up from his paperwork, he grins to himself.
you huffed, now walking into his office. “why do you keep calling me that?” you said, slightly annoyed.
he looks up at you, his eyes dark and steady, but the grin never hesitated. “because no matter how much you try to act tough, i’ll always see you as someone who needs looking after,” he teased, his voice warm and low, savoring the effect it had on you.
a flush spread across your face, but you quickly masked it with a roll of your eyes. “...you’re crazy.”
“and you’re adorable when you’re mad,” he replied smoothly with a smirk, shifting in his chair as he focused on his work once more.
your mind swirls as you get close to him and his desk. the urge to be near him was undeniable, but the words you wanted to say were stuck in your throat. then finally, you cleared your throat.
“...i want to leave.”
the words fill the air, caleb finally places his pen down as he raises his gaze, his face stern.
“leave?” he asked, his tone darker now.
“yeah..” you replied, taking a small step forward. “i-i think i need some time to process all this. i think we need time apart before we talk about every-”
he listens but then cuts you off. “no.” he said, sternly.
you blinked, caught off guard by the sudden cutoff. “no? that’s it? just ‘no’?”
“that’s all you’re getting, pipsqueak” he said, now standing up and walking around the desk, closing the distance between you two. he was close now, he was practically hovering over you, his uniform feeding an undeniable aura. “you’re not leaving. you belong here, with me.”
you pout to tease, taking a step back as if trying to put some distance between the two of you, but he catches and fills the space. “you can’t just decide that for me.”
“i’m not deciding,” he replied, his voice softer now, yet filled with a calm authority. “i’m reminding you. you have me and i’m not going to let you walk away from that.”
a part of you wanted to argue, to push back harder, but another part, the part that had always known this man in front of you, found him irresistible.
you cleared your throat, trying to be stable. “well..aren’t you just a ray of sunshine?” you said, having teasing smile. “all this positivity is blinding.”
caleb’s lips quirked into a small, knowing grin. “you don’t seem too upset about it.”
“maybe cause i’m just used to you,” you shot back, stepping closer until you were mere inches from him, your breath mingling in the air between you. “though i do think you could use a little loosening up.”
his eyes darkened as he stared down at you, the playful challenge evident in his gaze. “oh?”
“yes,” your smile widens, feeling the familiar tension between you spark to life. “maybe it’s time i show you what happens when you’re not in control for once.” you tease again. you didn't know if you were teasing caleb just because you wanted to leave or because you couldn't deny him.
his expression didn’t change, if anything, it only deepened, a flicker of desire in his eyes as he still hovered you even while standing.
“pipsqueak.” he murmured, his voice a quiet growl as his hands moved to your waist, pulling you closer, his fingers pressing into your sides with just enough force to make you gasp.
“yes..caleb?” you teased, your heart racing as you tilted your head up to meet his gaze.
without another word, he leaned down, capturing your lips in a kiss that was both commanding and tender. his hands slid down to lift you up. you let out a soft gasp as he cleared the desk in a single movement. papers scattered to the floor in a careless motion, already forgotten.
he set you on his desk, his body close as he leaned over you, his breath hot against your ear. “you’re not leaving,” he whispered, his voice low and full of meaning.
you lock eyes with him, panting. “You’re really stubborn, you know that?”
“..and you love it,” he replied, his lips brushing against yours once more, the kiss deepening as his hands roamed to the buttons of your blouse.
his eyes look up at yours, his fingers gliding over the buttons of your blouse once more. "is this okay?" he asks, in a tone that reminded you of the caring caleb you once knew and learned to love for so long.
you nod, letting a slight flush roam your cheeks as he unbuttons your shirt. his eyes glances over each button being loose, his yearning and desires seeping through his expressions. in a shift motion, he brushes your blouse off your shoulders, leaving you with just a bra. caleb leans himself to plant tender kisses on your neck, leaning down towards your collarbone. the way he kissed your body was soft and loving. you really believe the old caleb is still in there.
as caleb continues to switch kissing your neck and your collarbone, he unclasps your bra, taking it off gently. he looks at your buds before taking one in his mouth and plays with the other, leaving you drown in ecstasy. caleb leads his lips a little above your swollen bud to suck and bite, leaving a red mark. he enjoyed the gasp you let out so he continues to leave more marks of his on both breasts, leaving you in a whimpering mess.
"mm.. caleb..", you wince.
he pauses, "mmh..i can't stop" he pants. "i need you now" he purred. you cup his cheeks, flushing at this point.
"then show me.." you cooed. he takes you up on that offer and steadily takes off the hem on your pants. he continues to slide down your pants and then your panties, throwing them to the side. you looks up and down at you, taking in every sight. "you're so beautiful.." he says. he continues his mission as he drags his hand down to your bare slit, never losing eye contact.
"fuck princess.. i barely touched you and you're already so wet" he teased with a grin. you squirm under his touch and felt his finger skim through your pussy lips, enjoying the wetness before rolling circles on your clit. you continue to squirm under his touch. you had used your arms to support your body on his desk but now he was practically plowing two fingers into you, all his touching led you lose balance so you decided to hold onto caleb's arms, feeling the fabric of his uniform. you kept moaning under his fingers while smelling his rich cologne. you missed that smell.
caleb continues to move his fingers against your walls, you clench him each time he moves himself up. his gaze softens, looking up at you. "you okay, princess?" he lowly says. your head and hands dig into his chest and muscles but you manage to whisper. "yes... please keep going caleb..". he nods and continues working his fingers, now not missing to aim your sweet spot. you throw your head back and your moans fill the air in his office as you slowly start to arrive your peak. at this point, you grind your hips, helping his fingers push into you more.
he captures your lips again in a sloppy kiss, his breath hitching and smooching noises echo the room after. he pulls away, "ugh..god, princess..." he groans. "mm not yet.." he teases, gaining his composure. "i'm not letting you cum yet" a devilish smirk appears in his face. he gently pulls his fingers out, leaving a low pop sound. he unbuckles his belt and unzips, freeing his erected cock. his tip already seeping with precum.
you lean your pelvis forward, you want him to take you already. you wanted to cum already. he pulls your legs to wrap around his waist, then grabs his heavy cock, making it hover over your wet begging cunt. he continues his teasing when he gives your erected clit taps.
"caleb...please" you pleaded him. letting him feel so in control. one of his secret fantasies was him taking power over you and to hear you beg him to fuck you. now he has his fantasy fulfilled.
you wiggle your hips, panting. "alright alright" he chuckles. " you've been such a good girl, taking my fingers. i guess ill give you what you want." he gently pushes his cock in, using your wetness as lubricant. you and him share a gasp at first contact.
"fuck.." he cries out. "you're so tight, princess" his hand continues to hold your waist while his other grips the edge of his desk, drowning himself in you. this was better than what he has envisioned. he leans down on your shoulder, pumping himself in and out of you. he could barely handle himself in front of the woman he's loved for his whole life. you arch your back, legs trembling at how big he was.
"oh caleb... caleb..." you continue to purr his name in his ears. hearing you gave him every right to continue pounding faster inside you, drowning himself in the wetness of your walls, also letting his cock give your cervix kisses.
"c-cum for me... on me..", he grunts, his voice hitching and his forehead showing a sweat. after a while, you felt yourself approaching. "caleb..m'im cumming..", with that announcement, your body tenses up as you cream on him, whimpering after every drop.
caleb sighs heavy at your ecstasy, enjoying every bit. this turns him on as he fastens his pace, almost near his end aswell. it wasn't long after till he also made his own announcement. “i-i’m gonna come,” caleb muttered, eyes squeezed shut, his pants getting heavy. now his grip on your hip and his desk hardens as he releases himself inside of your cunt, his thighs shook, his eyes rolled back in their sockets. he wanted to groan out his orgasm, but he suddenly remembered where they were, so he bit down on your shoulder, moaning quietly as he pulled out of your beautiful filled up pussy, spilling his some of his cum all over the tile floor.
He stood with his dick in his hand before zipping himself back up, trying to contain his composure, panting heavily, eyelids fluttering.
the air became still again, the quiet hum of the ship’s engines in the distance, a constant reminder of the void beyond these walls. caleb leaned forward, his forehead brushing against yours as you both caught your breath. his hands, once with a hard grip, now rested gently on your waist, his thumbs traced soothing circles over your skin.
as he lets you take a breath, caleb leaned back, his purple pinkish eyes scanning your face with a tenderness that left you breathless in an entirely different way. he unzips his uniform jacket, his movements deliberate and careful. “here,” he murmured, wrapping the jacket around your shoulders, giving you comforting look while covering you as much as he can. his jacket still lingered of his smell, something grounding and uniquely caleb. his fingers lingered at the edges, brushing lightly against your skin.
you looked up at him, your gaze softens and your body and heart still vulnerable. his eyes held a depth you hadn’t seen before, like he was memorizing every part of you, committing to never forget this eternal moment.
he leans down to press a delicate kiss to your temple, his lips lingering there for longer than necessary. when he pulled back, his voice was low and steady.
“you’re my everything,” he said softly, his hand caresses your cheek. “more than I deserve, more than I ever thought i’d have.”
your throat tightened, a lump forming as his words settled over you. you could a flush coming onto your cheeks once more.
he gave you a small, reassuring smile. “i’ll explain everything soon. you deserve that, at the very least. but for now…” he brushed a strand of hair from your face, his touch impossibly gentle. “just know i’m here. i’m not going anywhere.”
you nodded, leaning into his touch as tears pricked your eyes, the emotion of the moment nearly overwhelming. caleb held you close, his arms wrapping around you as he whispered one final reassurance.
“you’re safe with me. always.”
#lads caleb#l&ds smut#lads#lads smut#lads x reader#love and deepspace#caleb x mc#lads mc#love and deepspace caleb#caleb#caleb x reader#caleb lads#love and freakspace#so hot omg#love and deepspace smut
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HARDER THAN YOU THINK
Boss!Joel Miller x f!reader || 4,7k
Written together with @milla-frenchy
Summary: It’s your first day at work and you feel nervous. But what can go wrong if your boss is your dad’s best friend, a person you’ve known and trusted for years?
Tw: 18+ mdni, smut, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, NON CON, Dbf!Joel, boss!Joel, dark!Joel, power imbalance, blackmail, age gap (reader is in her early 20s, Joel is in his late 40s), oral (f), pussy slapping, use of a sex toy, degradation, unprotected piv, gangbang, creampies. Reader wears a skirt.
A/n: @milla-frenchy and I wrote this story for @romanarose ‘s Dead Dove December. Thank you for this event, celebrating dark fic, Roman❤️ Milla, baby, it’s always a pleasure to write with you! ILYSM🫂💖
Heed the warnings! If any of this makes you uncomfortable, do not pursue reading. We are not responsible for the content you consume. This is not for everyone and that's okay. We don't condone the actions of the characters.
MILLA’S MASTERLIST || KATE’S MASTERLIST
Day one at your first job started horribly. You overslept, got in a traffic jam and arrived at the office panting and apologizing. Fortunately, your boss, Mr Miller, didn’t tell you off for your tardiness. Instead he greeted you with a wide, most charming smile. You’ve known him for a few years, him being your dad’s good friend and his employer as well as yours now.
Mr Miller was a successful businessman and your parents owed everything to his generosity and kindness. He helped your father out when your family was about to lose the house and your dad always talked highly of his ‘best bud’. You’ve been calling him Joel all these years, but wishing to show respect at the workplace, you decided to call him Mr Miller.
Now you’re attending a company meeting in a spacious conference room, taking bullet points of the discussion on your tablet. Mr Miller is sitting at the head of the desk, leaning comfortably in his chair, his thick thighs spread, piercing eyes narrowed. His perfectly tailored blue suit which probably costs more than your future year salary accentuates his broad powerful frame. Throwing glances at him from time to time, you can’t help but admire the way the fabric stretches over his arms and shoulders. You’ve never thought about Joel like that, he was much older than you, but it was hard to deny how handsome he was.
Joel is listening to an employee’s report, pouting his lips from time to time. Knowing him quite well, you read his face easily, so it’s evident to you that he’s not pleased with what she’s telling him. Joel’s always been nice and kind to you and your parents, but right now you feel like a volcano is about to erupt.
“Are you happy with all this, sweet cheeks?” He asks but doesn’t let the woman reply. "I’m definitely not. I hope I won't hear these numbers ever again. Or you're gonna lose your job in a heartbeat. I doubt your family will be happy with you getting fired. You just had a baby, right?”
The woman swallows loudly and nods.
“Get your shit together!” Joel barks and the employee looks terrified. You feel bad for her. You’ve never seen Joel be so mean before but that's probably part of the character trait that goes with his job.
When the meeting is over, some people leave but three men stay behind with Joel, still chatting to each other. You get up, ready to sneak out, but your boss stops you at the door, calling your name.
“Sorry, I thought the meeting’s over”, you explain, coming up to him with an apologetic smile.
“Yeah, the main part’s done but we have something extra on our agenda today.”
Joel gets up and walks over to one of the cabinets. He takes something out of a drawer and puts it in the pocket of his suit pants. You raise your brows with a silent question and he turns his face to the managers,
“Gentlemen! Today is this young lady’s first day at our company and I’d like you to give her a warm welcome.”
You feel overwhelmed when all the attention is focused on you but, fearing to seem rude or disrespectful, you turn to the men and smile nervously, fumbling with your fingers. You wonder what Joel put in his pocket. You didn't expect to receive a gift on your first day, and you don’t know how to thank him properly.
The men hum approvingly but soon you feel uneasy noticing their eyes slide down your body and take you in with something more than simple curiosity. One of them smirks and your face falls. Fortunately, Joel steps up to you and his wide smile relaxes you a little. Knowing him for so long, you feel that he has your back. He takes your hand and holds it in his big warm palm.
“Sweetheart, we have a tradition in our company. We call it “Initiation”.
“W—What is it?” you mumble, smiling and blinking at him with confusion, while your stomach churns. You hope he won’t ask you to give a speech of some kind. You’d die of stage fright.
Joel explains, “Some of us gather here to celebrate our new employee and I’m happy that today it is you.“
Joel inches closer and you instinctively take a step back but he pulls you to him gently yet with unyielding determination.
“Usually one of our top managers does it, but of course, with you it had to be me. Also some of these gentlemen sent me messages during the meeting… Seems that they want to take part, now that they saw you.”
His face is inches from yours and he lowers his voice to tell you, “to be specific, we all are going to celebrate you and your body. Teach you some new things while we’re at it, too.”
Your gaze darts between his darkening eyes as you open and close your mouth like a fish out of water. You can’t comprehend what he’s saying but your instinct is screaming for you to run.
Joel gently cups your cheek and turns to the other men in the room, “she’s adorable.” With that he places his hands on your hips, and mumbling “c’mon”, moves you to the head of the desk.
“Joel, what are you…?” Your voice is shaky, your palms placed on his broad chest push him off you but he’s too strong and soon your ass is perched up on the surface, your back turned to the other men.
“Joel, please, what are you doing?” you mumble as panic rises in your chest.
“Shh, we’re just gonna have some fun, you and me at first, then I'll let the others join us.”
He looks behind you, and you hear the other men react.
“Fuck yeah.”
“I think I will.”
“Give it to her, boss.”
You hear their words and you start to understand what’s happening. Or rather, you start realizing what your dissociated mind was trying to hide.
“Joel… You’re scaring me…” you stammer, eyes wide.
“Fear is a good thing. It means I'm in control. And I want control over you."
Now you feel Joel’s hands rubbing your thighs, covered by tights, slithering up and under the hem of your skirt, while his gaze is set on your chest.
“No, Joel, please,” you plead, searching for his eyes, hoping to keep his attention on you, break the spell that turned these people into wild animals, turned this office into a cage that you can’t escape from. Trying to make him come back to his senses and remind him that it's you, the person he's known for so long, that he is your father's friend, who you thought would protect you from all dangers, if he had to.
But his eyes remain black, cold. The more you beg, the brighter an unhealthy spark shines in them. As if he likes it, likes you begging.
“You’re my dad’s friend, don’t do this to me,” you whine, overwhelmed by his big body caging yours against the desk, terrified to your core at the realization of what he’s about to do to you.
“Yes, you’re right,” he stops, giving you a glimpse of hope, and looks into your eyes. “Your dad’s a great guy but he has a big flaw. He has this pretty little thing for a daughter.”
Your heart breaks when you hear him, your hope is dead.
Joel leans closer and you pull away but he grabs the back of your neck and holds you still, brushing your lips with his.
“If he only knew how much I want to stretch your little holes. And you know me, baby,” he pecks your lips and whispers, “I always get what I want.”
The men behind you chuckle, loving this display of power. The smell of Joel’s perfume hits your nose and your head spins for a second as part of you still struggles to understand what’s happening. You feel tears well up in your eyes.
Your new boss, a man you’ve known for years, wants to fuck you in front of other people on your first day here. You try to make your mind work, get you out of the situation.
“I’ll tell my dad. I’ll tell everyone,” you cry out, making your voice firmer, but Joel just laughs, enveloping you in his tight embrace. To your horror you hear the sound of the chairs moving behind you and then footsteps. You’re surrounded now.
“If you start yapping, sweetie, you and your dad will lose your jobs in a second and I’ll make sure no one ever hires you both.”
His voice is calm, his breathing steady, as if he were telling you the most mundane things in the world, and you shiver.
“Besides, your dad owes me a lot of money. Your family will lose everything.” He searches for your widened eyes and whispers, “you work for me now so it means I own you.”
Suddenly his lips latch onto your neck. His hold is too tight but the kiss is slow and gentle.
“No, no,” you start sobbing and Joel pulls away and takes your face between his big hands.
“Honey, calm down, imagine there’s only you and me here. No one else, uh?” His eyes are obsidian and full of lust and you understand that you won’t get out of this. He will have you.
“Please, Joel, I don’t want to…“
“But you do, baby, you want me,” he kisses your cheek. “You want my big cock in your little pussy. I’m gonna make you feel so good, baby.”
He drags his stubble over your cheek and you whimper when his hand snakes between your thighs.
“You really think I haven't noticed the way you look at me, the clothes you wear, when I have lunch at your parents’?”
“What? No!!”
“Shh…” he cuts you, brushing your lips with his finger. “You wanna get fucked by a man older than you. A man who will give it to you good.”
Through the material of your tights and panties you feel his hand caress your folds and you close your eyes shut, trying to escape the horror of the situation.
"Girls your age want that. A mature man,” he adds.
You mewl a quiet “no” again and he uses the moment to kiss you and push his tongue past your lips. With one hand keeping you close and the other gently massaging your pussy, Joel claims your mouth, licking into it, swallowing your soft cries.
As soon as he parts from you, your hands push him away but his strong physique overpowers you in seconds. He grabs your wrists and makes you lie down on the desk. You’re pressed to the wooden surface by his heavy body as his breath fans your cheek when he growls, “Don’t fight it. It’ll be my way or bad way, baby. Choose wisely.”
In your peripheral vision you notice the men next to the desk, one on the left and two on the right. Like hyenas they are waiting for their turn when the main predator is done with the prey.
You begin thrashing around on the desk and Joel slightly lifts his torso but holds you down with his hand wrapped around your neck. You freeze as panic grips your heart. He’s not squeezing it but the threat is swimming in his blown out eyes.
He smirks when you stop moving. “Good girl. Made the right choice.”
Joel straightens up, his figure looming over you, and then starts pulling up your skirt. You try to stop his hands but in vain.
“Let’s see what we have here. White lace. Fuck, it’s hot, baby. Innocence looks good on you. I know you’re not a virgin though,” he laughs and continues, “I remember a boy used to come to your bedroom all the time. Your old man was scared that you’d get pregnant. Fuck, I wanted to kill that little shit for touching you.“
You take a sharp breath, terrified of how long his obsession with you has lasted.
“I know you’re single now. It’s good. Now you have me. I’ll fulfill all your needs, baby. And will fill all your holes.”
With that he rips your tights between your legs, and you squeal scared to death. You try to slide off the desk but he presses his forearm over your belly, not letting you move away.
You hear the murmur of the others, watching you sob and fight the man twice bigger than you like it’s some twisted show.
When Joel grabs your hips to keep you in place, you turn your head, pleading eyes darting between the men but their expressions scare you. There’s not a trace of sympathy on their faces, not a chance that this vile group will help you.
With tears streaming down your cheeks you look back between your spread legs and find Joel’s hungry gaze there. He’s sneering at you, noticing your fruitless attempt to seek assistance from his employees.
“What’s that, baby? Looking for anyone to call an HR? He’s over there. Say hi, Steve.”
You hear a gruff voice somewhere from behind you.
“Hi, sweetie.”
“Aww, isn’t he nice?” Joel mocks and dread spreads in your chest. There’s no way out. You’re trapped. Your only hope is the man you thought to be a friend.
“Please, Joel. Stop. I won’t tell anyone. Let me go.” Your voice is barely audible, you sound pathetic, and Joel’s face softens. His brows knit together as he looks between your legs and talks while his fingers slowly pull your panties to the side.
“I think I’ve made a mistake.”
You gasp when his fingers graze your exposed folds and try to close your legs but he’s holding you securely.
“I haven’t explained your position in this company yet. It will help you to understand what’s happening and accept it.” His fingers stroke your seam and then push inside between your folds, leaving you shocked and breathless.
“From now on you’re my office whore. I tell you to suck, you suck, I tell you to bend over - you do exactly that.”
His voice is gruff and cold, eyes focused on the place where his fingers swirl around your hardening clit and you squeeze your eyes closed, fighting the fire in your core that’s burning brighter with every second of his caress.
“She loves it, your pretty pussy,” Joel smiles, looking up at you, “do you hear how wet she’s getting for me? You should relax, and let your body take what it wants. Stop fighting it, baby.”
He sinks two thick digits into your soft hole and you tighten your muscles, eyes wide, surprised by a heat spreading through your body.
You hear it too. When Joel begins pumping his fingers in and out of you, lewd squelching noises reach your ears, the sign of your body surrendering to his horrible act. A moan crawls up your throat and you muffle it with the back of your hand.
A sharp flick of Joel’s fingers lands on your clit and you cry out.
“Don’t. Don’t hide it. Wanna hear you enjoying it, little slut. I wouldn’t make my cock wait if I didn’t wanna hear some sweet moans from you.”
His hands leave your pussy and he places his palms on your inner thighs, spreading them wider.
“Now— Let’s have a taste.”
You watch him lower his head to your cunt and he licks a stripe between your wet folds from your clenching hole to your sensitive clit and sucks on it for a few seconds. Your back arches involuntarily.
“Delicious,” he mumbles, wet lips against your folds, and the vibrations send shivers down your spine.
You want to hate the sensation his mouth is giving you, but your whole body treacherously buzzes when his hot tongue laps away your slick. Joel kisses your pussy, his gentleness is a striking contrast to the situation. He’s eating you out to make you come, hungry to claim your pleasure as well, and you grit your teeth, fighting it with all your being.
He feels you holding back and growls before focusing all of his attention on your puffy clit, flicking it and rubbing it with his tongue, sucking it in between his teeth, and you can’t help but explode under his ministrations. You begin shaking against the desk, and through the sound of your heart pounding in your ears you hear cheers and clapping from the heartless audience.
“Good job, boss!”
“What a slut!”
“You’re the man!”
Their reaction makes your heart shutter into pieces.
Joel gives his employees his million dollar smile, pride lighting up his dark eyes, and absentmindedly rubs his hands over your thighs still partially covered by tights, ripped at the crotch.
He gets up from the chair and when you try to close your legs, he yanks you to the edge again, pushing his hips between your thighs.
Joel slowly unbuckles his belt with one hand and unzips his suit pants, talking to you, “I thought about asking you out on a date, honey. Making you my girlfriend.”
He chuckles and pulls his boxers down.
“Could be nice. You, waiting for me at home.”
His cock springs free and you feel even more scared if it’s even possible. His manhood is huge, long and thick, bigger than your ex boyfriend’s for sure. He holds it at the base and continues, “you’d greet me with a home-cooked meal and a wet pussy.”
You know what he’s about to do and all your being rises in protest so you slap his hand off and slide off the desk in a fast motion.
“Hold her!” Joel barks and a few pairs of hands grab you and push you down. Your back hits the desk and someone’s holding your wrists over your head, their hands keeping you still, at the same time gliding over exposed parts of your body - your neck, your chest, a slither of your naked belly.
Joel doesn’t stop them. His eyes are fixed on your bare cunt, glistening with the signs of your body’s betrayal.
A sharp slap lands on your mound and sends a bolt of pain through your body, and you squeal.
“Don’t do it again, naughty girl. Or I’ll let these heathens fuck your ass raw.”
You sob, trying to ease the steel grip on your wrists. Through tears in your eyes, you see Joel bring the head of his stiff cock to your pussy and in a second you feel him push it in, slowly, but not for the sake of your comfort. Only for his enjoyment.
His head falls back and he groans, “fuckk, she’s tight. You can’t find a pussy like that in an escort.”
Joel looks down at you with a hazy smile and you plead for him to stop but he ignores you and thrusts into your core. He takes out what’s in his pocket and brings his hand close to your stuffed cunt. You hear a “buzz”, when he turns on a bullet vibe.
“No, Joel, please…” you cry.
“I want you to come on my cock too. And with this little helper, I’m sure you will, baby.”
He begins rolling his hips, pushing his fat cock in and out of your dripping pussy. You whine, feeling your walls spread around his girthy member and your belly is heaving with a mixture of fear and arousal. Meanwhile Joel starts fucking you faster, talking to you like there’s no one else in the room.
“Your dad would mind if we started going out but who gives a shit? I could just throw some money his way. Money can buy everything.”
He winks at you and you sob, sliding up and down the desk with each mighty thrust.
“But — It’s not the main problem. I spend most of the time here. I work hard—Aahhh— and it’s nice to fuck someone between the meetings, right, guys?”
You hear sounds of agreement around you and squeeze your eyes shut, scared to see the faces of the monsters around you.
Joel’s cock is rhythmically brushing your g spot and you hate that behind the horror there’s pleasure, nauseating and terrifying, but pleasure nonetheless. Joel tilts his hips and you cry out when he grazes something ecstatic inside your core.
“You gonna come again, honey?” he coos at you and the pet name he used so many times before, visiting your father, cuts your heart with a sharp blade.
A river of fresh tears rolls down your face but your misery is not noticed by Joel who explains, after a loud grunt, “office affairs take too much time and effort. But you. You’d be perfect as my pretty cum dumpster.”
With that he grabs your sides, nails digging into your soft skin, and starts snapping his hips into you, violating your pussy with his fat cock.
“Fuck, gonna come soon. Pussy’s too good. I’m gonna have so much fun with you.”
The men around you cheer again. Joel presses the vibrator to your clit and you whine, your walls clamp around his manhood and it sends him over the edge. With a loud grunt he begins spilling his hot cum into your pulsating pussy, pumping you more and more, pushing his cock deeper, while holding you with the iron grip of his hands.
You start sobbing again feeling the warmth spread deep in your core and it freezes your heart with another terror. You’re not on the pill.
Joel stays buried inside you for some time. You are so shocked that you don't react. You ignore his cock pulsating inside you. Ignore its last twitches. Until reality hits you and you cry harder. Your body betrayed you. Joel betrayed you.
“Joel, please… let me go.”
He finally pulls out and you feel some of his cum slide to your ass. You try to sit up but he grabs your wrists in his hands, keeping you down on the desk, leaning over you. His hazy gaze fixed on yours.
“Not so fast baby… we’re not gonna waste all this cum, are we? I want these men to remember who you belong to and fuck it back into you.”
You realize with shock that he really intends to throw you to them.
“Steve? You worked so hard this month. Enjoy your reward.”
Looking down at you, he adds, “come on, baby, be a good girl. Steve deserves it. And we already know you're a little slut. You clenched so hard on my cock, mmm?” He wipes away a tear running down your cheek with his thumb and steps away.
You try to close your legs but Joel clicks his tongue.
“No, no, no. I made myself clear, didn't I? Jim, didn’t I make myself clear?”
“Yes, boss, very clear.”
“If you're difficult, your father can say goodbye to his income. To his job. Your parents almost got divorced that time, didn't they?” His dark eyes are fixed on you. Even colder than before. There’s no hesitation or remorse in him. “So if you don't want your father to end up under a bridge, and your mother to whore around with her slutty daughter, you're gonna stop whining.”
He points his finger at you. You remember the meeting earlier. How cold he was, how sorry you felt for that woman. But now, it’s you who is facing this terrible side of him.
“And you’re gonna let them take their turn. Final warning.”
You suppress a sob, even when Steve settles between your legs and places one hand on your thigh and the other around his cock.
“Go on Steve, give her a good fuck.”
You hear the men cheer when Joel's employee pushes his tip in your already sore hole.
“Come on man, give it to her good!”
“Fuck that bitch!”
He thrusts in, grunting. Excited by the cheers of the other men. He fucks you hard as soon as he grabs your thighs and buries his length in you. You keep your eyes closed, unable to meet his gaze, and unwilling to give them any more of yourself by letting them see your frightened eyes.
“Well damn, Steve, you got great moves!”
The man puts his hands on your hips for a better leverage, jerking you forward with each thrust.
“Fuck, she's tight…”
“Yeah? Tighter than your wife?”
They all laugh, and you feel nauseous.
“Come on, Steve. Shoot your load. Don't enjoy it too much. I just lent her to you.”
Steve obeys and comes in your cunt, mixing his cum with Joel's.
Then Jim uses you.
And finally, Paul. He turns you around and bends you over to thrust into you from behind. He’s already groaning, when Joel’s phone rings.
“Oh!” he chuckles when he sees the name on the screen. He picks up and, looking at you, brings his index finger to his mouth, ordering you to be quiet.
“Hey, man! Calling to check on your daughter?” He walks around the desk to sit at your side and starts jerking his cock as he watches you getting fucked by the third man.
You can’t hear what your dad is saying, and your mind dissociates again.
“It’s going great. She’s already showing some serious skills!”
Joel smiles in response to what your father’s saying, his hand still fucking his shaft.
“No, sorry, she’s with Paul. He’s showing her some new procedures, they will be very useful to me soon.”
Paul is growling, rutting into you, and you hear Joel say, “Yeah sure, I’ll tell her you called.”
Paul spreads your ass cheeks and spits on your ring.
“No!” Joel gruffs in a low, menacing voice, after hanging up. “No one fucks her ass.”
“Sorry, boss, she takes it so good, I got carried away.”
“Don’t forget your place. Fill her up, and then get out, all of you. She’s mine, got it? We all… welcomed her, but now she belongs only to me.”
After using you like a fuck doll, the three men leave the office chatting happily.
Joel gets up, his hand working his fat cock.
“Gotta fill you again, baby. I can’t stay like this, with a hard-on, it’s painful, you know?”
You can’t believe he’s telling you this.
“Pussy’s already ruined, anyway,” he says as he thrusts in and fucks you hard and fast in all men’s cum, until he sends his load into your owerflowing core for a second time.
You’re lying on the desk, not even realizing they all left, that Joel has pulled out, until you feel a jacket covering you. Joel pulls down your skirt back over your thighs and grabs your arm to help you up. He fixes your shirt and looks at your face, your makeup smudged, mascara running down your cheeks.
“You’re gonna need some rest, baby. Come back next week. I’ll be the only one playing with you, from now on. Don’t forget - a pretty girl like you needs a man like me.”
You shiver. His voice pulls you out from the depths of your mind, that is lying to you that none of this has happened.
“Are you on birth control?”
You shake your head, eyes empty.
“I’m gonna give you an after pill, I don’t want you knocked up by one of the guys. You’re too precious for me. Now get your stuff and go home. And don’t think of telling anyone. No one will believe you anyway.”
As you grab the handle, he adds “Oh, before you leave. Add to my calendar, tomorrow, ‘a barbecue at your parents’, at noon. Your dad’s just invited me. It’s gonna be great, baby. Can’t wait to pay you a visit in your bedroom.”
Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated <3
Other fics by @milla-frenchy and me
Keep on your mean side - Joel x f!reader - dark fic
The Burglary -Joel x f!reader x Tommy - dead dove, noncon
Bad Girl - Joel x f reader x Tommy - dubcon
The hounds of hell - Series - Javier Peña x fem reader x Steve Murphy
MILLA’S MASTERLIST || KATE’S MASTERLIST
Tagging some lovely people who showed interest in the wips: @koshkaj-blog @604to647 @megangovier @tateypots @sunshineispunk @thundermartini @pedge-page @mountainsandmayhem @iamasaddie @schnarfer @mermaidgirl30 @evolnoomym @fruityreads @itwasntimethatdidit40
#pedro pascal#joel miller#joel miller x reader#tw dead dove#dark!joel miller#tw noncon#joel miller smut#dead dove do not eat#dead dove december#pedro pascal characters#joel miller x you#joel miller fanfiction#the last of us#joel miller x f!reader#tw non con#dark!fic#joel miller au#joel miller the last of us#the last of us fanfiction#harder than you think fic
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agatha finale rant
so I’ve been seeing a lot of people complaining about the finale of Agatha and I wanted to give my two cents on their main points: 
1. “they used agatha’s show as a way to promote a man!!” well yes! that’s how marvel tv works im afraid. or any tv, really. wandavision was used to introduce agatha and monica, which led to their projects in the mcu (aaa, marvels). agatha introduced billy, leading to his future in visionquest or his solo series, which will introduce tommy and vision, which will lead to children’s crusade to reintroduce wanda. this is common for any tv show, but especially a big, connected franchise like marvel. i find it so concerning that even after all the promotion that showed us billy and agatha as co-leads, people were STILL shocked when the finale sets up a future story centered around him. like i hate to break it to yall but marvel wants money. and more shows means more money.
2. “they killed off a lesbian woman and not the gay man!” first of all, in the comics, agatha is a spirit guide for the scarlet witch. this form is her most comic accurate yet. also, did yall really think that was an unfair ending? or an ending PERIOD? all her death made me think of was the possibilities for the future with both billy AND rio. and again; rio was promoted as the ‘antagonist’ to agatha since the beginning. i don’t know how people went into this excepting a happily ever after for these two. they were always depicted as tragic lovers, and i honestly think the kiss of death was beautiful and poetic. i also don’t think this is the last we’re seeing of rio. and, as a side note, homophobia is still not okay! it doesn’t matter if you’re also gay; lesbians can be homophobic towards gay men, and gay men can be lesbophobic towards lesbians. and i’ve seen wayyyy too much of both in this fanbase. you can criticize characters and critique actors without bringing up their sexuality. we have enough incel homophobes doing that for us
3. if you’re still complaining about wanda not coming back i have no hope for you
4. this show, since day ZERO, was promoted as a show with billy and agatha as coleads. while i wish we had more backstory for how agatha and rio met, the salem flashbacks involving nicholas, the road scheme, and the song were much more important to the show. the parallels between nicky and billy were explored throughout the season a lot more than agatha and rios story (whether or not you like it, it’s still true (i personally wish we had a bit more on how they met 😭))
5. sending hate to actors about things their characters did is STILL not okay! and never will be!
6. this might be a hot take but if you’re only watching a show for a ship and don’t care about the story at all your opinion is irrelevant to me. like people who started watching after it was revealed in the show that agatha and rio were lovers (because, correct me if i’m wrong, this was never revealed before the episodes dropped) have no right to be upset when the show focuses on other things. and this is coming from a MASSIVE fan of agathario. and a lesbian. i loved the fact that i was watching characters who just happened to be lesbians have their own story. yes, i wish there was more agathario in the flashbacks. but i’m really not upset at all by what we got. and don’t get me wrong, people have every right to be disappointed, but they don’t have the right to hate on the creators and actors of the show. that’s not cool.
this is way longer than i thought it was gonna be 😭😭 hope everyone enjoyed the finale
#agatha all along#agatha all along finale#agatha all along spoliers#agatha harkness#rio vidal#agathario#wiccan#billy kaplan#billy maximoff#joe locke#kathryn hahn#marvel#hot take#mcu#rant#sorry in advance
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Telling Hugh Dancy about trans masc Will and more...
As some of you already know by now, I went to Boston Fanexpo this past weekend for another stop on the unofficial Hannibal 2024 Reunion Tour.
I had planned to do autographs on the Friday before the Hannibal panel and had brought some gifts for Hugh which included a copy of Adapt. Evolve. Become: The Genderqueer Fandom of NBC's Hannibal, which I compiled and edited last year. I also got him to sign my own copy (above).
It all moved quite quickly, but I did have the chance to explain that it's a volume by and about trans, non-binary, and genderqueer Fannibals that includes art, fics, essays, and personal pieces. He seemed intrigued and I said I hope he'd have the chance to read it and that the art isn't explicit/sexual but some of the fics are - he laughed and said he appreciated the warning.
It was all quite the whirlwind, especially after coming all the way from the UK, so I was absolutely mortified when I remembered the next morning that I had talked with a few trans Fannibals who had specifically asked me to let him know that he/Will is a trans icon. So I went back up to see him again on the Saturday morning when it wasn't too busy (and get more stuff signed) and this is what happened:
[I wrote notes down right after so this is as close an account I can get without having filmed it!].
Me: I saw you yesterday Hugh: I remember (smiley-friendly) Me: I gave you a book Hugh: I remember (smiley-friendly) Me: well, I forgot to tell you. A few trans Fannibals reached out to me to tell you that Will is a trans icon to them and we all love you for it. Hugh was surprised (in a nice way) and I was pretty much going to walk away then - job done and feeling like time for me to stop bothering Hugh lol. But before I could walk away he sort of held out his hand to stop me and said something along the lines of - I don't mean this in a disrespectful way, don't take it the wrong way... I'm genuinely curious- I get that it can be about identity- but what is the connection to Will and being trans? Luckily - my essay in the book is exactly about how Will can be read as trans, so I sort of gave him a summary of that. I explained that (obviously) both Will and Hannibal can be read as queer, and that - especially as both characters have dominant masculine and feminine traits, it's also easy to read them both as trans or in some way genderqueer. He was nodding and agreeing, so I further explained that with Hannibal, he is fully formed - he's already whatever he is - which Hugh also agreed with. But that Will is still becoming, still transitioning and therefore can be more relatable to trans fans who see that journey in themselves. So although it's not necessarily the same journey - there is enough to it that it resonates with trans people. I said that in the show there is also the added bonus of Will being seen and accepted for who he is, just as trans people wish to be. He was nodding along and agreeing with me and then he thanked me for explaining that. It was pretty quiet previously but I'd been there a few minutes so the queue was building up a little but he was so focused on me - so genuinely intent on hearing what I had to say and learning more. SO I CARRIED ON. (lols) I explained to him that it goes further than the show, that we have found a community in the fandom and that many trans people have a catalyst in their life that sparks their journey - like Will had in his friendship with Hannibal. For us it might be a person, an event, or even a TV show. I explained how the fandom are so supportive of trans people - that we are SEEN. That I for one wouldn't have been able to afford top surgery without the kind donations of Fannibals back when I was not in a good place (mentally or financially). That we all help each other and for some of us that has been life-saving. He did the hand on heart thing and said "wow" and was clearly moved. I said to him that so much of this is in the book, that I completely understand if he doesn't want to read the fanfic, but I really hope that he will at least read each of the personal pieces - that each of the fics and art also have a little write up from their creator about what the show and/or fandom has meant to them and their gender journey - how important this has been in our lives. He repeated a couple of times that he would definitely read it. I thanked him and he held out his hand and gave me the most genuine hand shake I've had in my life.
I want to really stress here how much this was instigated by Hugh. That he really wanted to know more and understand and didn't even look at the slowly growing queue but was instead intently focused on knowing more about the trans Fannibals and about why this show and the characters mean so much to us.
I then went off and spoke with a few Fannibal friends in the queue before getting around the corner to another Fannibal friend and having a bit of an emotional moment/breakdown. I can't even explain how grateful I am that he gave me the opportunity to explain all this to him. And I was especially glad I got to tell that Will is a trans icon because I'd have felt terrible if I'd have not done that after people had asked!! Thank you for trusting me to pass that message on for you!
💖
I know for many of you Adapt. Evolve. Become: The Genderqueer Fandom of NBC's Hannibal might have gone a little under the radar. So here is some more about that >>
It was compiled last year for Trans Hanni Day, edited by Max Turner of (and in conjunction with) A Coup of Owls Press - and published under Max's ACoO imprint.
It features essays, personal pieces, fanart and fanfic by and about trans, non-binary, genderqueer and otherwise non-cis Fannibals.
IT IS FREE TO DOWNLOAD, however we ask that if you do that, please consider donating to one of the linked trans orgs if you can afford to (or a similar organisation/charity of your choice).
It can be purchased on Amazon, however, as the proceeds go to charity, and Amazon only gives royalties, more is earned/given if bought directly via Max's shop.
Dearest trans Fannibals, please know that YOU ARE SEEN!
#hugh dancy#hannibal#will graham#trans will graham#trans fannibals#fannibals#fannibal family#boston expo#hannibal reunion tour 2024#meat up
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Part of why it's so frustrating to me that we didn't have the opportunity to spend more time during Vi's pit fighter era and Caitlyn's dictator phase is bc like. Well, I mean those are both hugely significant and interesting ways for them to cope that are deeply reflective of the fundamental differences in their characters
Vi, an undercity kid that spent most of her formative years imprisoned, seeks out pain and oblivion. She finds herself lost and abandoned and immediately reaches for what she's most familiar with - violence. The self harming nature of her fighting career is obvious but I think the other stuff we see in the montage deserved more time too. She drinks to an unhealthy excess, blacking out, getting into more violent altercations. We don't see her seeking out any form of intimacy or connection with people - there are no depicted one night stands or groupies. Instead we see her hallucinating Caitlyn and reacting violently when a guy tries dancing with her.
Whether it's an intrinsic part of her or a trait that was cultivated through trauma, we know that Vi doesn't have many close relationships, but she loves the people near to her fiercely. It's kind of heartbreaking and so fucking interesting that when she's apart from Caitlyn she doesn't try to fill the void with other people. She just misses her.
Vi reacts to being left behind by isolating herself further. She reacts to being hurt by piling more hurt onto herself, channeling her pain into aggression, and when she's not fighting she's trying to numb herself with alcohol. It's a brutal montage and I really wish we'd been able to dive in more to Vi's self destructive tendencies.
Caitlyn meanwhile also reaches for the familiar but in a totally different way. We see her indulging her privilege in a very particular way. Unlike Vi, instead of fully isolating or burying her pain, we see her hold her grief tight in both hands and use it as fuel. She channels her pain into obsessively hunting down Jinx and suppressing Zaun through her increasingly militarized policing campaign. She becomes a workaholic who can't ever stop focusing on her agenda, even as the doubts she has continue to increase. She's stone cold sober in every scene and the combat practice she undertakes at Ambessa's side is controlled, goal-oriented and the complete opposite of Vi's reckless prize fighting.
Instead of solitude, we see her take up with a subordinate that she doesn't have a strong emotional attachment to and take comfort in sex within a dynamic where she perceives she has total control. Maddie doesn't mean enough to Caitlyn to meaningfully challenge her, which we see as Caitlyn ignores her advice and pulls away from her in bed. Hooking up with someone under her is a move that it's hard to imagine the idealistic s1 version of Caitlyn ever approving of and that's why it's so interesting to me. I think it highlights how much of s1 Caitlyn's morality is related to her resisting the ability to abuse her privilege as a favored daughter of Piltover. In s2, she forgoes her earlier attempts for egalitarian reform and justice in favor of indulging more wantonly with her baser impulses for control and power and immediate satisfaction. It suggests this beautiful death by a thousand cuts of her moral center as she loosens her grip on her noble ideals and gives in to this rash impulse, and that pragmatic cruelty, and this selfish want until she's in so deep she's become the sort of brutal oppressive force she had once tried to tear down.
The difference between them in this part of the show is so striking and it's a shame to me that we never get to really see them confront these versions of each other.
#arcane#arcane spoilers#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#vicait#sorry im goin crazy rn lmaooo#[sleater kinney voice] DIDN'T WE ALMOST HAVE IT
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Dom
I'll start by apologizing because this had been requested for so long and it had been in my drafts since last year. You could definitely see the shift in the writing styles in here and I can say that I wrote better last year.
Anyways, a little indulgent smut (?) fic to celebrate the release of Depth. Have you heard of all the songs in the album? What was your favorite so far? And the MV! What are your thoughts? I can't believe we're in the YUTA SOLO ERA! We only wished for this a long time ago but here we are now. So proud to be in this moment with you, fellow Yutamis.
characters: rockstar! boyfriend! Yuta Nakamoto x girlfriend! Reader genre: smut, fluff if you squint word count: 2.5k words summary: How to dom your dom (and failing at it) warnings: BADLY WRITTEN SMUT, rockstar Yuta, topless Yuta, curse words, exhibitionism, fingering, horny reader, edging, dominatrix, submissive reader, dominant Yuta, leather, handcuffs, pussy eating, squirting, penetrative sex, riding, arm obsession (can you blame me?), LAME ENDING (Will I be making another part of this? I don't have the strength but I wanted to.)
“Yuta! Yuta! Yuta!”
“Encore! Encore! Encore!”
The crowd kept on shouting, begging the rockstar to grace the stage with his presence for another song.
"Yuta! Yuta! Yuta!"
It was a jam-packed concert. Hours of singing his original songs in front of audiences who love him and Yuta Nakamoto's rocker charisma.
"Yuta! Yuta! Yuta!"
"Yuta," you moaned against his ear, breathless and low. One of his hands held the wall, trapping you between the solid concrete and his lean topless body. The other cupped between your legs, fingers exploring the wettest part of your body.
"Encore! Encore! Encore!"
"More," you begged. You grind your hips on his fingers as you feel him smirk against the crook of your neck. "Please," You were so desperate, eager for the much-needed release that has been coiling in your stomach for a while now. "I'm close." You didn't care if the staff behind the stage were giving you side glances. You didn't care if they eyed you as a dirty woman for getting worked up backstage from your rockstar boyfriend's fingers. You just wanted that release—that orgasm.
The crowd cheered just as a static of the microphone could be heard. Your eyes widened in surprise when you felt the coldness between your bodies. Yuta, in his sexy state with sweat beads forming on his forehead and his immaculate skin, smirked as he walked away from you. You gave him a pleading gaze as he chuckled, "Yuta.” He shrugged then stepped forward once then kissed your lips quickly.
Your much-needed orgasm.
A step back then another step forward before he cupped your face with his hands, "Just three songs left, baby." You pouted when he ran to the stairs heading to the stage, the song turning louder along with everyone's cheers. But you cannot wait that long.
With a huff and frustration, you went back to his dressing room. You were so annoyed at the orgasm that it transcended to your boyfriend. You can hear the fans shouting and squealing his name. That should be you, screaming his name in pleasure. Your boyfriend's voice resonated throughout the area. And you can see, from the small monitor in the room, how he commanded the stage while showing his naked torso.
Seeing him on stage is such a turn-on. He looks so good with sweat running down the valley of his well-toned pecs. His abdomen shimmered as stage lights were focused on him. You noticed how his upper body was thicker and more pronounced in contrast to his small waist. His arms looked so delectable. How hot. Yuta's handsome face adds to the rockstar effect as he playfully sticks his tongue out or winks at the camera as if he knew you were watching.
Fuck, you want him so bad.
No, you fucking need him right now.
The desperation for release led you to those explicit videos on your phone, your personal collection of your sexy time with your horny rockstar boyfriend. But still, nothing. It didn't even ease the feeling you have right now. You needed him physically. Desperately.
You scrolled on Tiktok instead, hoping to get some feedback on your boyfriend's performance. But as you scroll up, a certain video has caught your attention. A caption can be seen with an image of a pretty girl wearing leather lingerie with some rope tied around her fists, how to dom your dom.
You are straight. You were so sure about that. But the way the girl presented herself was super erotic. The dominatrix vibe is such a turn-on. Is this a sign that you are such a submissive?
A smirk escaped your lips. Maybe you'll try something new today. Maybe you can give Yuta a taste of his own medicine.
A decision has been made.
Today, you'll dom your dom.
Your boyfriend said that he'd be done after three songs but you didn't wait for him and just went your way. You even stopped by the local sex shop you and him frequented, giddy that it was still open. The salesperson, who knew you and Yuta, was even astounded at your purchase. He even wished you good luck and hoped that you'll recover.
A chuckle escaped your lips. It's not you who needed those words.
You took a quick shower when you reached home, thankful that you raced Yuta on arriving. You changed to the black leather lingerie that you brought from the store, complaining that it was too tight and uncomfortable while setting the handcuffs on the headboard of the bed. Instead of a rope, you wrapped his leather belt around your fist.
Leather is just so uncomfortable, you wanted to give up already.
The apartment doors opened followed by footsteps then your boyfriend's voice asking if you're home. You hurriedly closed the lights to enable the mood lighting Yuta had installed just for these spicy moments. You turned on the stereo to your sex playlist then winced in pain when your toe bumped against the foot of the bed. Before the door opened, you managed to lay in bed in a provocative position that emphasized your breasts.
Yuta’s eyes were gliding on your whole outfit before raising an eyebrow at you, “What is this?” A smirk played against his lips as he put down the duffel bag and quickly removed his tank top while moving to where you are. “I thought you were mad.”
That piqued your interest, mad about what? He was already on the foot of the bed, hand reaching out to you when you snapped on your senses. You were supposed to be in charge tonight, not the other way around. Hastily, you kneeled on the bed to stop him from touching you. A playful smile can be seen on his lips when your hands are placed on his shoulder. “Yeah, I am mad.” You claimed with a smirk, fingers trailing south of his naked torso. “And you deserve to be punished.”
He raised an eyebrow before you changed your position by lightly pushing him to bed and you were kneeling on top of him. “Hands up,” You blew a heavy sigh, he’s still so far from the handcuffs. “Could you please move a little bit upward?” A small smile can be seen on his lips before obeying you.
Your knees were on both his sides as you clicked the handcuffs you bought on both his wrists. A smile appeared on your lips, he looks so good in this position. “Is this my punishment, baby?” His eyes were dark as he stared at you. Now that he mentioned it, you don’t know what to do to him next. The only idea you had in mind was to wear that leather outfit and bind him to bed with handcuffs. How would you exactly dom him? What should you do right now?
Sensing your hesitation, Yuta chuckled. “Ride my face.” Your eyes widened at the suggestion. He would always eat you out but you never did it with you on top. Isn’t it dangerous? What if you literally sit on his face? What if you accidentally kill him? He might have sensed your hesitation that he muttered in his frustrated tone, “Hurry up, love.”
You bit your bottom lip at that. You were horny, evident was this set-up that you made. And to be honest, you wanted to do it. Sit on Yuta’s face. He looked so delectable lying there with his hands tied to the bed. But this is deep waters that you’re scared to approach.
Why did you plan to do this in the first place?
This isn’t you. You would rather be whimpering under Yuta. But you’re already here and he’s accepting your actions. It’s too late to back out now.
“Y/N, ride my face.” He claimed once again, making you squint your eyes at him. Why is he still commanding you as if he wasn’t the one tied on the bed right now? Why does he still seem so dominant when you were the one who should be dominating him?
You pursed your lips, raising an eyebrow at him. You could tease him a bit. He’s tied in bed, he surely can’t do anything too much. “Beg for it.”
A smirk appeared on Yuta’s lips as you started mounting the bed and then sitting on his thigh. “Stop teasing me.”
“I said beg, Yuta.”
“Ride my face or else.”
He’s tied in bed. He cannot do anything. How adorable. “Or else what?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.
In one swift move, you were lying on your back on your king-sized bed while Yuta hovered above you. His hand held your waist in place that made you wide-eyed. “You shouldn’t have bought low-class handcuffs, love.” You raised your head to see the chains of the handcuffs broken on the headboard of the bed. “And you shouldn’t have pulled this stunt, Y/N.” His eyes were predatory, scary. “Now, be a good girl and scream only for me. Understood?”
Yuta unhooked your leather underwear, relief washed over you that the uncomfortable feeling was now gone. But you gripped on the sheets as he replaced the material with the warmth of his mouth. He was devouring you as if you were the first meal he had for days. He ravaged your pussy, licking your clit and then sucking on it before entering your folds. Your back arched in intense pleasure but he kept on holding you, as if not wanting you to squirm. “Yuta, I’m close.” You jerked your hip up.
You could feel him smirking and then it was gone. Your eyes widened in surprise as if you were showered with cold water. “What the hell?” You watched him remove the broken handcuffs from his wrists while kneeling on the bed, eyes on you. That image alone could send you to your orgasm. But Yuta just had to be extra sexy by biting his bottom lip and pushing his hair away from his face. Your fingers rubbed your clit, crossing your legs together, as you moaned for his name while releasing liquid on the bed sheets.
A chuckle can be heard then a sound of metal hitting the floor. “You just have to be a horny slut and orgasm without my go signal, don’t you?” You felt the bed dipped with his weight before his thumb pushed your clit. “Can’t wait for me to fuck you properly.”
“Yuta, I need you. Please.”
The side of his lips curved up. “On your back, love.” You gave him a confused look before he nodded, “That was a command.” You rolled on your side, stomach lying on the bed but Yuta was already placing a pillow by your abdomen. He unhooked your leather brassiere that made you breathe heavily. A chuckle can be heard followed by his wet lips trailing along your spine. “You are so hot like this,” He whispered. “Begging. Whimpering under me.”
Yuta slithered his arm around your hip, pulling you closer before entering you from behind. The way he did it is so flawless that you didn’t even have time to moan. You ended up grasping the sheets while screaming on the pillow. You’ve done this before and you knew that this was one of Yuta’s favorite positions but the way he’s thrusting into you from a whole new angle made you a whimpering mess under him.
Your boyfriend must be working out secretly. You’re almost always together but you have never seen him hit the gym or anything. The heaviest you knew he would carry was you or his electric guitar. So how did he manhandle you into this new position? You felt your body pulled up from the mattress, him sitting on the bed. A moan kept on leaving your lips while bouncing on Yuta’s cock. His hands grabbed both your breasts, kissing your shoulders as he jerked his hips up to meet your thrusts halfway. His heavy breathing can be heard against your ear, turning you on.
If possible, he pulled you closer by the waist as he released with you. Whispers of your name as if he was chanting prayers tickled your neck. “God, Y/N,” he called then kissed your lips. “As expected, all I need is you. No one else.” You giggled. How crazy are those words? When you were well aware that he’s Yuta Nakamoto and millions of other girls would fight a war for him. “I’ll prepare the tub so we can clean up, hmm?”
It was still amazing how he could carry your body as if some doll and laid you to bed. Watching him enter the bathroom, in his all-naked glory, you marveled at how thick his arms had been. Surely, he would be working out. He sat on the edge of the bed when he returned to the room and you reached out for his arms, “You’re getting obsessed with my arms.”
“When did you start working out?”
“I’m not.” You raised an eyebrow at that. “Fucking you is my workout.” You rolled your eyes at that. Is he being sarcastic right now? “The things I want to do when you roll your eyes like that.” You repeated the same action, sighing while rolling your eyes, to taunt him. Yuta giggled before hovering his body above you, raising both your arms and holding them in place to kiss you roughly. “The things I badly want to do to you while you wear that leather lingerie.”
You lightly glanced at the dark leather scattered on the foot of the bed. “It’s uncomfortable.”
“If you want to wear something like that so bad, I can just buy you one.”
“But you don’t like it.” It was Yuta’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “I tried to dom you because those girls look so hot online but you’re not very cooperative.”
A hearty laugh escaped his lips and you whined while hitting his chest. “Seeing you sprawled on the bed like that when I came home was hot and all, I even wanted to do your fantasy but you hesitated. You look so scared I thought you’d cry.” He even noticed that? “You’ll need a lot of practice though.”
The side of your lips curled up at that suggestion. “Then, will you let me practice on you?”
“Damn right. Do you have another person in mind?” You grinned, shaking your head. “I’ll even give you one-on-one lessons, love.” He kissed the valley between your breasts. “And if you were a good student,” He kissed your neck, trailing north to your ear before he whispered. “I’ll let you fuck me with a strap-on.” Your eyes sparkled at the idea. “You’re so transparent.”
A laugh escaped your lips, muttering an apology. How could your boyfriend stir something hidden inside you? Maybe you’re not as submissive as you thought.
“Ride me in the tub?”
You nodded, reaching both arms for him. “Carry me.”
Yuta squinted his eyes at you, shaking his head while laughing. “Such a baby.” He carried you bridal style as you grazed your forefinger on the protruding muscles of his arms. “If I knew you would get this obsessed with my arms, I would have hit the gym earlier.”
Your eyes widened at that, lightly hitting him in betrayal. “You are working out!”
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Why are you in my head?
Sneak Peek: Eddie and you are soulmates. The legend of soulmates is that you start to hear one another’s thoughts around age 16 – not all the time, but when you’re feeling a strong emotion. It simply flows out of you and into the other, the legend also states that the closer you are, the more you can hear them. **The events of season 4 did NOT happen** I did also use some of the dialogue
Bold are Eddie’s thoughts; Italics are reader’s thoughts. (mind you, they are essentially hearing both sets of thoughts)
Eddie Munson x Fem Sunshine! Reader (Soulmate AU)
Fluff - Part 2 Part 3 Part 4** Part 5
Word count: 1364
REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Feedback is welcome if it's constructive!
Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, explicit language, let me know if I missed any!
That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.
You had known all about soulmates, your mom had told you bedtime stories about soulmates and how she and your dad met throughout your entire childhood. They had been hearing one another’s thoughts for quite a while before your dad saved your mom from being run over by a biker as she stepped off the curb. She’d tell you how when their eyes met she could hear him thinking about how beautiful her eyes were and he heard her thinking about how handsome he was. You have hoped and dreamed of meeting your soulmate since you were four years old.
You had a soulmate, that much you knew. You had been hearing his thoughts for the last few years, they were few and far between which frustrated you. Your mom had explained it just meant he wasn’t close by, which sucked. You were hoping that the distance would decrease, given your family’s plans to move.
Hawkins, Indiana wasn’t exactly a town that people were flocking to…but here you were. Your mom had been offered a job at their hospital there as the supervising nurse and your parents had decided it was too good an offer to pass up. Your dad had contacted the local police department to see if they had any openings, to which they asked for a letter of recommendation and pretty much offered him the job.
Things were working out well for your parents. You hadn’t really been sure about the move. Your soulmate’s thoughts had been pretty quiet the last few days but, a part of you knew it was because your anxiety of this move was clearly drowning out his thoughts.
The car finally came to a stop, and you glance up for the first time since you’d gotten in the car that morning, too focused on the music playing from your Walkman and rereading The Hobbit, again. You looked up to see a modest home in a cookie cutter neighborhood, you were grateful for your parents and their ability to provide you with the things you need, but some days you wished your family wasn’t so…average.
“Sweetie, why don’t you head in and pick your room?” Your mom suggested.
“Really? I get to choose?” You asked.
“You have your pick, other than the master bedroom. You and I will organize the remaining rooms.” Your mom explained.
Damnit, if I could just get the chords right.
You quickly jogged up to the door, letting yourself in. You made your way upstairs first, checking out the two small bedrooms up there that were situated opposite the master bedroom, separated by a full bathroom. While both rooms were nice, they didn’t give you nearly enough room to “express your creative freedom” as your mom had encouraged. On the main level there was a kitchen, dining room, sitting room, powder room, and living room. There had been a door leading under the stairs, you were pleased to see it led down into a fully finished basement that had a full bathroom.
“MOMMMMM! I chose my room!” You called as you ran up the stairs.
There we go.
*Eddie’s POV*
Hell yeah! This is fucking perfect!
The thoughts had rung out like an alarm in his head. Her thoughts had never been this loud and clear. What had changed?
She better let me make the basement my room!
Had she finally moved? He had been hearing all her nervous thoughts about packing up and moving across the country. She must be closer now if her thoughts were coming in like this now.
YES! YES! YES! Now…how to decorate?
He smiled to himself. She seems sweet based off what he knows. He had asked Wayne about soulmates when he was growing up. He’d asked questions like “why can’t I just think of my address, so she could find me?” and Wayne had explained that it didn’t work like that. Thoughts were passed back and forth at moments it was needed – in times of excitement, or when we needed comfort, or to vent. There was some sort of neurological algorithm as to what thoughts were sent when.
*End Eddie’s POV*
You had started unpacking pretty much the second your parents agreed to let you make the basement your room. Your dad had even agreed to take you to the hardware store to pick up paint this weekend.
“You’ll start at the high school on Monday. The principal confirmed that he received your transcripts and all your credit hours transferred, so you’re right on track.” Your dad explained.
“Oh, awesome! Did he happen to send my schedule or anything so I could familiarize myself with it beforehand?” You asked.
Oh fuck…fuck, fuck, fuck! I am so late. O’Donnell is gonna kill me!
Your hand flew to your head, the volume of his thoughts brought forth a pounding in your head. They had never been this loud before.
“Bug? You okay?” Your dad looked concerned.
“Yeah, I’m okay! Just a headache. Too many thoughts in there I guess.” You chuckled lowly.
“Honey, was it his thought?” Your mom questioned.
You hadn’t told your parents much about your soulmate, only that you had been able to hear him and that he was, in fact, a him. They had also been aware that you hadn’t been able to hear him lately – that was when your mom explained that your thought can sometimes drown out theirs.
“Yeah, it was and uh, I don’t know, I guess it was kinda loud.” You shrugged.
“How loud?” Your mom asked.
“I don’t know, loud enough to give me a headache. It was like he was in the room with me.” You looked at your parents, a knowing grin making its way onto each of their faces. “What?”
“Nothing bug. Let’s go see if your principle sent that schedule over.” Your dad wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his side.
Monday morning had come way too soon, though you’d had an incredibly productive weekend. Your room was painted and decorated, you’d finished rereading The Hobbit and had begun rereading Pet Cemetery, you’d also memorized your class schedule.
Your dad dropped you off at school, he also told you he was planning to go and check out a car for you after his shift – that had left you pretty excited.
Finally! My own car!
The day was dragging on pretty slowly…truthfully you were ready for lunch.
Then Vecna will make a surprise return.
What the hell?
This campaign is going to be epic!
His thoughts had come and gone like this since you’d arrived in Hawkins. Just back and forth with random tidbits that left you more confused than anything.
The bell ringing had been your saving grace. It was finally time for lunch, and now you were feeling anxious again…where were you meant to sit?
You looked around and before you could take a step, a voice stopped you dead in your tracks.
Here we fucking go.
“We're the freaks because we like to play a fantasy game. But as long as you're into band or science ...or parties or a game where you toss balls into laundry baskets...”
God he’s hot.
“It's forced conforming. That's what's...killing the kids!”
Assholes.
Kids were either laughing at his outburst or calling him horrible names, but you just stood there. Could this really be him? This super-hot guy who just caused an entire scene in the cafeteria.
“Me, I am army-crawling my way toward a D in Ms. O'Donnell's. If I don't blow her final, I'm gonna walk that stage next month, I'm gonna look Principal Higgins dead in the eye, I'm gonna flip him the bird, I'm gonna snatch that diploma. I'm gonna run like hell outta here…This year is different. This year is my year.”
He took a step back and bumped right into you, but before you could fall to the ground, he grabbed your arm and pulled you up and against his chest.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
You both let out a quiet chuckle.
All at once, colors were brighter, smells were sweeter, touches were softer. Everything came together in that moment; you couldn’t believe it. Here he was.
#eddie munson#stranger things#eddie munson stranger things#corroded coffin#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson fic#eddie munson fanfic#stranger things 4#eddie munson angst#eddie munson au#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x female character#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson angst blurb#sstranger things blurb#stranger things imagine#stranger things x you#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things fic#mechanic!eddie#mechanic!eddie x reader#mechanic!eddie x y/n#dad!eddie munson#dad!eddie munson x mom!reader#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson fluff
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Steve nearly winces when he steps into the room, following behind Dustin and Mike. He's already wishing he'd tried to shut Lucas up as soon as he'd tried to say that "no, really, I don't mind!"
Because of course he's this unlucky. Of course his date would skip out almost last minute, of course he'd end up with no excuse to avoid helping Dustin with his stupid D&D game and of course the person who probably hates Steve most is crouched on the biggest chair like it's a throne.
Eddie Munson eyes lock on him immediately. He stares for a while, making Dustin and Mike shift awkwardly beside him.
"Absolutely not. No way." He's grinning though. His eyes narrow slightly at Steve, like he's daring him to do something.
"You asked for a sub, we delivered."
Steve simply raises an eyebrow, pointedly shifting the sheets Dustin had helped him make up. It draws Eddies attention off his face, finally. When he looks back up, he's smiling a little more genuinely.
The guys standing at his sides are still glaring, looking almost cruelly excited when Eddie stands up, meandering his way over to them.
He gently plucks the sheet out Steves hand, eyebrows slowly raising as he reads.
Everyone is waiting, eyeing Eddie impatiently. Dustin and Mike are tense, as though waiting for Eddie to blow up. The others seem to expect the same, though Steve imagines they're more excited for it.
"Why did you come?" Eddie eventually asks, still holding onto the character sheet. "What could possibly be so important about this that King Steve would miss the championship game?"
"Dustin said this one was important," Steve shrugs. Fights to keep his calm demeaner. "Something about it being the last one or something. He's been going on about this shit forever. Seemed cruel to leave him high and dry at the last leg."
"Well…" Eddie eyes the character sheet before handing it back. Looks Steve up and down, before finally grinning. His eyes crinkle at the edges. "Welcome to Hellfire, Lady Elora."
He sticks his hand out. Steve shakes it, trying not to grin back.
Even with how often Dustin has talked to him about the game, Steve is clueless. Dustin and Mike both save him from embarressment every time though, quick to argue different options in such a pointed way that he knows the others aren't fooled by.
But Steve doesn't mind, often finds himself rolling his eyes at their antics only to find Eddie eyeing him almost fondly.
He finds that he enjoys it though. He'd make the character Elora as a joke, mostly just throwing whatever seemed to fit at random. An Elf who's a ranger, chaotic neutral, swinging around a bat with nails.
He wonders if it sounds as stupid to everyone else as it does to him.
He's often lost on the story too. But Eddie is brilliant at telling it. Even when he doesn't understand what he means, he flinches when the others yell at a reveal. Anxiety bubbling up when things get tense, slowly getting more and more invested in the game. Even he can tell that they're nearing the end, the final fight.
"You're scared, you're tired, you are injured," Eddie says. "Do you flee Vecna and his cultists? Or do you stand your ground and fight?"
Steve already knows the answer before Dustin speaks up; "I say we fight. To the death!"
"To the death," Mike echoes, nodding.
"To the death." Steve sniffs, doesn't bother fighting the grin.
Eddie grins back at him, the others chanting the sentiment. Steve feels warm with his attention locked on him.
Steve has the first roll. He still doesn't understand the numbers, but the others cheer so he assumes it must be good. But then it goes downhill, so many bad rolls.
Everyone is too hyped up for Steve to keep up so he focuses on Eddie. He's jeering, jumping up out of his seat, encouraging the chaos and seeming to control the energy of the room. When he laughs, he sounds more like a movie villain.
And then, one of them calls time out.
They huddle into a circle, just like they did in basketball. Steve is surprised by how easily two of the older boys pull him in.
"Guys, I hate to say this but we have got to flee."
"I concur."
"Didn't we just agree 'to the death'?" Steve frowns. He's not ready to give up yet. He can feel how close they are.
"That wasn't literal!"
A hand tightens on his shoulder. "Vecna just decimated us. We can't kill him with two players."
"You too?" Dustin sounds just as annoyed as Steve feels. "Vecna only has 15 more hit points left, don't be pussies!"
"Pussies? Really? Cause we're not delusional?"
"No, no, Dustins right," Steve butts in. Barely holds back a warning to Dustin about his language; it's not the time for babysitting. "We're too close now, we can't give up!"
"HEY!" Eddie calls, easily drawing all their attention back to him. "If I may interject, gentleman… whilst I respect the passion, you'd be wise to take Garreth the Greats concern to heart. There is no shame in running. Don't try to be heroes. Not today."
Something about his smirk and stupid head tilt just makes Steve more determined. If he has to continue fighting this stupid game alone, god dammit, he will.
Steve only half pays attention to Mike talking strategy. He's already made up his mind.
"What do you say, Elora?" Dustin turns to him, looking uncertain.
"We can kill him." Steve sounds more sure than he probably has any right to be. But he is. He can feel it in his bones. They can win.
"Fuck yeah we can," he grins at Steve. The others look more uncertain. Dustin turns back to Eddie, shoulders back, chin up and looking almost proud. "Let's kill this son of a bitch!"
Dustin gets first roll and it's bad.
It's all down to Steve.
He can feel how tense everyone is. Dustin and Gareth start yelling when he takes to long. But he can't roll yet, follows his gut; he has to get this right, has to roll at the right time.
It's just like swinging a bat in baseball, he tells himself. Just gotta time it right…
He rolls.
The dice seems to move in slow motion. Steve can almost hear each time it bounces off the board. The tension is so thick that it almost chokes him, for a moment he's sure that he can't breath.
20.
There's a moment where no one reacts. Then Dustin yells, grabbing Steves arm and shaking him in his excitement. Mike, a more similar height, throws his arms around his shoulders. It's a little painful to have him shouting directly in his ear but, he too, is too excited to care.
The others have started yelling too, Eddie dramatically overacting his shock too. Steve can't help but laugh.
It takes a while for everyone to calm down. An even longer moment to stop talking enough so they can start packing their things up. Steve only brought his jacket and character sheet, so he stays stood at the end of the table to wait for the kids.
Eddie keeps glancing up at him as he packs most of the pieces away.
"Harrington," Grant grins at him. "Never thought I'd be saying this but... thanks for coming."
"Oh, uh, yeah, no problem," Steve tries to smile.
"Dude, you missed the championship game to save our asses in DnD," Gareth grins, throwing his arm over his shoulder. "Who woulda thought, though. Steve Harrington, huh?"
The other two laugh. Steve finally feels a little lighter, on safer ground.
"How the mighty have fallen, huh?" Steve tries. And they laugh, Jeff slapping him on the back.
At the doorway, he lingers for a moment, whilst everyone else starts heading down the hall.
"Thanks for letting me play," Steve says, turning to Eddie. "I know I'm not... uh..."
"Don't strain yourself," Eddie waves him off. "It's fine. The kids have raved about you enough for me to figure out that you're a good dude."
"Oh. Thanks."
"You should join their next campaign."
"I don't know. You're graduating, right?"
"Aww, you like me that much, big boy?" He puts a hand to his chest, batting his eyelashes.
But Steve remembers the rumors that went around, remembers exactly how true they were proven to be. And, well...
"What would you say if I am?" He fires back.
Eddie, true to his reputation, is never one to back down from a fight; "then I'd tell you to ask me out like you mean it."
"Alright. If you're free tomorrow, 8pm, would you wanna go on a date? With me?"
"You picking me up in your fancy car?"
"If you want."
"Yeah, I'm free."
"So... that's a yes?"
"Yes, that's a yes."
Steve can't help but fistpump, but it makes Eddie giggle, so he counts it as a win.
#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#steddie fic#ficlet#altorprecanon#this thing has been in my drafts since august 2022 😭
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Well, after reading Snater arguments on Reddit, there’s something I’d like to comment on. I mean, I’m a lawyer, and I’m a lawyer who advocates for social reintegration, not punishment. So when I think about morally questionable characters, I always think like a lawyer. It’s something I can’t avoid because I spent years memorizing laws, and that fries your brain, so you’re just going to have to bear with me here.
The point is, I don’t give a damn that Snape hung out with the bad guys. I don’t care that he followed Voldemort because, from a legal standpoint, Severus more than paid his debt to the community. First of all, there’s no evidence that Severus killed anyone before Dumbledore asked him to perform a rather shady kind of euthanasia. That means his involvement with the Death Eaters was essentially collaboration with a criminal group. If we take into account that he later switched sides and became cooperative with the “good guys,” then in any trial, that would already significantly reduce his sentence, which, considering that he didn’t commit murder, wasn’t involved in any attempted homicides, and didn’t directly collaborate in major crimes, would already be pretty short.
But if we also consider that after switching sides, he worked as a double agent, then we can count his service as a kind of probation with community service. In other words: serving a sentence. For me, Severus Snape served both time and punishment for the actions he committed. A sentence that was much longer and harsher than his crimes warranted. So I don’t give a damn what he did before because he’s already paid his debt to society, and any democratic legal system would see it that way. And I don’t believe in life sentences or the death penalty because they’re useless, capitalist punishments, so whatever. The point is that Severus paid. He paid with his life, both metaphorically and literally, because from the moment he joined Dumbledore, he had no life of his own. He had no future. His entire world became focused on doing whatever it took to pay his debt to society. A debt that, in the end, led to his death. So, yeah, he might seem like an asshole and a bad person to you, just like I see plenty of assholes and bad people who come into my office, but the reality is, if they serve their sentence, they settle their debt. And Severus paid more than he owed. Honestly, I wish there were lawyers and therapists in the wizarding world—maybe that’s why things are such a mess there, lol.
#severus snape#me ranting on sunday#not very serious statement#but actually yes#pro severus snape#pro snape#harry potter#wizarding world needs therapists#and lawyers#severus snape nobody would made me hating on you#never#severus snape defense#severus snape fandom#snapedom
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The whole Eden Lucifer-Adam-Lilith-Eve situation is kinda creepy. I see serious groomer undertones in it, given the difference in Lucifer's and humans' life experience (and to extent, maturity) at the moment
Imagine that you are an adult experienced angel who is present during the making of Eden and the birth of first humans. You also apparently want a wife. And to be a part in creation of Eden. What do you do? Find some female angel to marry and live your life with? Find an actually helpful way of working alongside elder angels?
Nope, instead you meddle with the lives of newborn and inexperienced humans in the most destructive way possible.
You could have helped them sort out their disagreements and actually taught them proper ways to behave. But you don't. You groom the naive female human into trusting you and then you encourage her cheating on the male human, causing trauma and insecurities to corrupt his personality in his first few years of living (the most influential in shaping a person's mentality). Thus you become partly responsible for the vengeful monster he will become in the future
More than that, you take away the female human's chance to live safely in paradise or on earth. Because of aiding you in your not-so-well-thought-out-plan (she didnt have any other choice, you and the male human were the only company she had), she is doomed to be allowed to only live in hell the rest of her life. And you knew that no one in heaven was going to give her the benefit of the doubt
As icing on the cake, you don't stop just on grooming and encouraging cheating, you don't leave the male human alone after you've already did him dirty and abandoned him... you come back and corrupt his new wife for some unclear reason (because your "whimsical" ideas of how you'd do a project elder angels know better how to carry out, are never even elaborated upon).
As a result, you doom not only these three babies in adult bodies but also the entire humanity to a terrifying life of fighting sinful outbursts, suffering, surviving, dying and risking ending up in hell where they'll be suffering for an eternity
I'm not sure if writers will ever hold Lucifer accountable for all this in a proper way. Probably not. But thinking about how much he fucked over first three humans makes me wish more depression on him
At this point, Lilith leaving Lucifer is not surprising. Imagine if after maturing and gaining life experience (and already giving birth to Charlie) she realized how her husband was practically using her. That could be why she left after doing her job of raising Charlie until she became an adult that can survive on her own
(I mean, it could be true if hazbin hotel was good at having the characters live through consequences of their actions and not just making Adam a scapegoat who is supposedly like Stella v 2.0 - evil ever since he was born and already inventing patriarchy with his very first breath. Like, all humans are selfish jerks when they are newborn - that's what parenting is for, shaping something more pleasant out of all that selfishness) (notice how the writing only focuses on how Adam was "bad" back in Eden)
(That also gives me a reason to judge angels in general - just a few narrative details really show how little they cared about the first humans' wellbeing and future. It's their fault too that Lilith ended up in hell and had to make some sort of deal to get a chance to visit her home/ Adam became an immature mentally unstable murderer/ and Eve... dunno, we haven't seen her yet)
#hazbin hotel critical#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel adam#hazbin hotel lilith#hazbin hotel eve#hazbin hotel
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some changes i would have made to the characters storylines in tua s4
disclaimer: i am no writer, it's just fun to think about the possibilities. btw anyone feel free to use any of these ideas for fics idc
lila doesn't cheat for starters. instead she and diego have both been secretly doing vigilante missions and keeping it from the other because they think they'll be mad. on one of these missions the two run into each other and rekindle their spark. basically the five and lila story but with diego and lila instead thanks. maybe one or both of them almost die or their kids are put in danger, and they decide to find a much less dangerous hobby, because while its thrilling in the moment they realize they wouldn't sacrifice their family for it
luther is shown to be much more depressed about sloanes absence (if there really is no way for her to come back) but he's trying to hold it together to be there for his family. would be nice if he bonded with characters like klaus, viktor or allison who have also lost their lovers. diego and lila shenanigans means they need luther to babysit a lot and luther finds happiness caring for his nieces and nephew. maybe he also finds a fulfilling job where he can meet a lot of people and help others.
five still finds the time subway but without lila. we get more time exploring the alternate timelines and seeing different ways the apocalypse has happened including ways the other sibs have ended the world. his PTSD and reliving his trauma is also explored. he eventually ends up in the five diner where he's told that they end the world every time but instead of excepting defeat and making everyone sacrifice themselves he finds another way (what exactly that is im not so sure) and becomes the first and only five to successfully prevent the apocalypse forever
allisons relationship with claire and ray are explored more heavily as well as everything she did in s3. i like the idea that she takes care of klaus because 1: hes the only sibling that will still talk to her and 2: because of the guilt she feels after getting him killed. i just wish her arc focused on something OTHER than saving klaus because thats basically all she did this season. would be nice if she spent more time with viktor and luther the two people she wronged most heavily in s3.
i would keep viktors confrontation with reggie but alternatively i would make this reginald umbrella reginald so it has much more weight to it. either that or have viktor express that even though he said his piece toward this reggie he will never actually get closure with their real father and nothing will remove the pain from his childhood. the rest i would keep pretty similar. reginald wants to kill ben and viktor wants to stop him at any cost. viktor knows what its like to be "the bomb" and doesn't want the same thing that happened to him to happen to ben. instead of working together to find ben however they're more in a race against eachother. maybe allison joins him and they make up on the way. i would have liked for ben and viktor to have had a heart to heart in the beginning of the season, maybe about how ben felt like a monster sometimes because of his powers, and viktor relating. idk how this would work with sparrow ben because he doesn't seem to hate his powers the same way brelly ben did but it would have been nice to show another reason why viktor is going through so much trouble to save him. and the ending where he trys to talk him down would be more impactful i think.
for klaus i would keep everything pretty much the same up until he runs into that quinn guy. instead i would have him travel to the subway with five in lilas place. five and klaus' powers are the most mind boggling out of the bunch not to mention time and death are inherently intertwined and this needed to be explored. also, you're telling me klaus literally has the power to talk to GOD and this never has any plot relevance???? klaus should have been involved in finding the solution to the apocalypse imo. also we needed klaus and ben interactions. idk how or when but it NEEDED to happen
ben and jennifer being the catalyst for the apocalypse is making it very hard for me to figure what to do with him tbh. i just wish he had more time with the other sibs and didn't turn into a horrific blob monster at the end 😭he felt less like a character this season and more like a plot device and he deserved to have some scenes that actually fleshed him out. it would have been cool if the reason he causes the apocalypse was actually because of his powers and not just because he happened to be the one to make skin contact with jennifer. i really thought that the twist was gonna be that the squid that jennifer was stuck in was the one that ben summons and that was why they were connected. not the fact that they both just had reactive magic particles in them that anyone could have set off. like what if jennifer being cut out of the squid was what killed ben?
OH! what if jennifer was an eldritch horror from the same dimension that bens tentacles are from and for some reason she wants to kill the brellys/end the world and because bens powers are linked to her she can control his mind ???? c'mon i feel like i've got something here
a have a couple of other ideas but don't know where they would fit in rn so yeah.
#the umbrella academy#tua s4#tua spoilers#tua s4 spoilers#tua season 4#umbrella academy#diego hargreeves#five hargreeves#allison hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#viktor hargreeves#luther hargreeves#ben hargreeves#lila pitts#reginald hargreeves#jennifer grossman
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