#had a line stuck in my head. turns out i was very wrong abt what it was. but ??? they don't even know????

[phosphorus-noodles]

wait. wdym ajr doesn't know the lyric to their own song

[sopaprimordialy]

My favorite part of every Warriors' song

(it was really hard to chose some of those)

Survive the night Bronx. Everything that Bronx says.

Roll Call "As far as you can see from the top of the wonder wheel..." I just LOVE the way Cleon sings this bit.

Warriors Cypher "Ajax, and I'm sick of runnin' off at the mouth, I got two f's for ya'll, fuck around find out!"

Make Way For Cyrus The way Masai says Riffs.

If You Can Count "Imagine what I had to do to stay on top!" I love, LOVE the power with which she sings this. I non ironically almost cry sometimes

Derailed "IT WAS THE WARRIORS! THE WARRIORS! THE WARRIORS SHOT CYRUS" very simple: when I've read "KIM DRACULA as LUTHER" I almost fainted. This line stuck in my head forever. I love the rest of the song but I would be straight up lying.

Woodlawn Cemetery "Rembrandt, just before we go, make our mark and let them know that we were here tonight!" love how this is sang waaa

Leave The Bronx Alive Everything in Spanish, but specially "ASESINA'! ASESINA' VIREN PA CA!"

A Track Fire And A Phone Call "Hey, I found Coney Island on this map :D Figure out how many stops to union square 😼 Come on, that's high math for Rembrandt 😅"

Going Down EVERYTHING! Joking but not joking, "Light one match, don't be scared, you just might watch the world burn!" I like how gentle he sounds here, contrasting with the rest of the song. I imagine it as him trying to genuinely calm Cropsy's fears down in his own distorted crazy way

Orphan Town "CHICKEEEEEEENS! WHAT A COUP FULL OF CHICKEEEEENS!" and, ofc, the way she says buck buck buck buck buck buck BCACK!

Call Me Mercy "LOOK AT THESE WOMEN!" I STG I ALMOST CRY EVERY TIME also the way this song uses basically the same notes as "Burn" 👀 I could even play the main chords just by using the sheet for Burn and changing the order.

Still Breathin' "Gun? Where's the gun? If I am guilty then where's my gun?" and the rest of Cleon's rap. I want to sing like that when I grow up.

Quiet Girls Them being described as "the House of Hurricanes" rather than as a gang; "We live at the edge of the dark but we still make a mark 'cause we spark and we are who we AAAAAAAAAHAHAAAARE~" I'M OBSESSED WITH THIS LINES YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA I WRITE IT EVERYWHERE I CAN

Outside Of Gray's Papaya "You got a problem?🙄🤨 hey I got fifty cents 😀☝ I got a dollar 😊 We gotta find another train 😐❌"

Sick Of Running When Ajax and Mercy sing together "No I'm not scared of what's dangerous! I'll ride or die 'til the day comes, I won't be done in! I'M SICK OF RUNNIN'!"

Park At Night Ajax roasting Barnes the cop. Every single little swearing she throws at him "HA but you wanted to play right? OLD ASS PREDATOR, looking for prey right? BITCH! You allergic to daylight? Talkin' that shit but got nothin' to say right? STAY RIGHT THERE, SMILE MOTHERFUCKER!" ah, so satisfying

Luther Interlude "This is fun! Kingdom come and thy/my will be done" it's so funny how Cropsy's worshiping him here- seriously like, get a partner that looks at you and talks abt you in the way Cropsy does abt Luther bcs HOLY SHIT GIRL WTF'S YOUR PROBLEM?

Cardigans "Matching cardigans? That's cute. You don't wear something like that unless you really care. About looking a fool"

We Got You When it finally ends. I'm joking, I like the little "you sing?" but that's about it 😐

A Light Or Somethin' The whole concept, ofc, because I was NOT expecting a lesbian duet when I listened to it in the first time. The part that was the turn for me to realize what was happening was, of course, "I'm loyal to yoooou~ ... What's wrong? Kiss me :)". After that everything about this song is so perfect that I honestly don't know what to pick

We Got You (Reprise) "Every subway in the city has graffiti so speedy that you never see the pieces right" This is one of my favorite takes in the entire musical. It feels so close to home, you know? And I think this speaks for every artist living in a big city, trying to grasp at every little piece of art among the chaos of urban life. (It's almost ironical how this line is in my second less favorite song-)

Somewhere In The City "And someday in the city we won't have to run each time a broken person gets ahold of a gun! Breathe easy every night knowing we'll see the sun" I was in need of this hope. I really was.

Reunion Square Oh boy... where do I even begin? I could just put the entire song here, but I'll put the part that makes me cry hard every time, especially knowing what happens after this: "I'm sick of being afraid of you... And what you have the power to do! You're the baddest gang in the city, that's true. Ha! And your color's fuckin' powder blue." (I was literally on the verge of tears just from listening to it again to write this) I think the samples used in the police chase part also deserve mentioning. They really are very similar to those in La Haine, I'm SURE that's a reference. Anyway, despite of the sadness, this is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever listened to.

Same Train Home My first instinct is to say "THE KISS!!" but, although I LOVED it, the most emotional part for me was when the DJ starts to sing in first person, including herself instead of just narrating the scene. Correct me if I'm wrong, but this is the only part this happens: "We're taking the same train home "We're all in the same train home [...] "As we pass beyond King's Highway just before the break of day, we say MAKE WAY FOR US!"

Finale This is a HUGE song with a lot of things happening so I'll just put all of my fav lines here: "There it is, the top of the wonder wheel... the Warriors are here" "Spoke truth to power in our darkest hour!" (literally cried) "Cleon! Our leader... who dreamed of something sweeter!" (love how this is sung) "Warriors come out to play-ay!" (progressively more insane and holy shit someday I'll be as strong as Kim Dracula's throat) "POW! All out of quarters no more extra lives!" (such a nerd) "One on one! Drop the gun. (Or you're a chickeeeeeen?)" (he is) "Sand in your eye, hate in your heart, you only know how to break shit apart! Your crew is scared of you, see how it scatters- My crew would DIE FOR ME, loyalty matters!" "Yeah hi it's Masai 🕴🏿"

ALL THE WARRIORS SINGING TOGETHER!

[cerebralabyss]

USELESS INFO I FEEL LIKE PUBLISHING!! and also just archiving on my blog 4 my own sake :D

here is the stories/reasons 4 all my alters’ names cuz they’re all weirdly significant in some way or another OR went thru a very long process 2 become the name it is today

putting it under cut cuz it’ll probably be longish

reffy & ramen - they both went thru different processes, but come from the same origin. VERY LONG STORY I AM NOT SHORTENING IT!!

we were finding a new collective name cuz our old one did NOT suit us at all!! and at the time, our understanding of our system was very different. we had a lot of trouble separating reffy/ramen cuz not having one host scared us, so ramen was a sort of “sub-alter” to reffy for a good while until we were comfy with the distinction.

we settled on the name remiel/ramiel, but couldn’t decide the spelling. we ended up using remiel collectively, but that name was also specific to reffy because again at the time afraid of deviating from host. so ramen ended up with the scrapped spelling!!

reffy - when we realized we in fact were not just one host, having reffy’s name as our collective name was rly confusing!! we ended up shortening it to “remy” for a rly long time. then, we ended up fusing the names “remy” and “maffy/maffal” (maffy is a sub-alter to reffy that we had treated as distinct for a while b4 realizing it wasn’t healthy for not fun reasons!!) so it became reffy!! and yes, reffy is short for reffal!! no one calls him that tho cuz it’s weird (other than dire cuz he’s strange but he only does that in private) (and sometimes jax scolds him using his full name cuz it’s funny)

fun fact: reffy decided 2 use the name reffy instead of remy in the vegetable section of a grocery store. very useful information ik (sarcasm)

ramen - this name didn’t end up getting changed till like a little over a year ago now!! they stuck with “ramiel” for a good while, purely because we have a dog tag with the name ramiel engraved on it and they didn’t want to change their name cuz then the dog tag would be WRONG!! but eventually they were like NO im CHANGING IT. the nickname “ram” rly stuck (since no one called them ramiel anyway cuz it was confusing with it being so close to the collective name) so took the ram and turned it into ramen like the instant noodles cuz enby behaviour (lh)

they actually considered the name “azriel” for a bit n couldn’t decide between that n ramen. ramen is much more fitting i could not IMAGINE IT BEING ANYTHING ELSE

(i’m writing this and im writing in third person to avoid confusion and it FEELS WEIRD!!!)

jax - ok i’m leaving out the context of my 2020 system yrs cuz it’s not rly relevant and complicated BUT!! this name came from back then. it came out of NOWHERE LIKE LITERALLY IT JUST POPPED INTO OUR HEAD LIKE “yea this guy… he’s jax” and i don’t know WHERE IT CAME FROM cuz we probably only ever heard that name less than 10 times our whole life. it’s RLY WEIRD but it kind of makes it feel oddly special cuz it just happened without us consciously thinking. like that’s just how the name was Meant 2 BE

his name has not changed a SMIDGE since then. he did end up deciding it’s short form 4 something else somewhere along the line, but only one non insys person& knows what it is cuz he’s weird abt it. it’s been years n he’s still keeping it a secret .. and no it’s not jackson !!! that’s ur one hint :3c

nuni - this one is kinda silly!! when we were like 8-12 our online alias name was our cat’s name and since nuni was the primary host at that time the name rly stuck with her. when she came out of dormancy a few yrs ago, we wanted to change it since it could get confusing differentiating our CAT from our HEADMATE so we went with a random nickname we called our cat!! idk where it came from exactly tbh,, but our parents still call our cat that sometimes like once in a blue moon and each time they do it feels SO WEIRD!!

dire - ima be real i know there was a reason behind this name but i can’t remember it 4 the life of me. none of us can it’s rly weird. just pretend this is an awesome cool backstory ok thx

BUT!!! there’s a neat story behind one of his many old names!!! he first developed/split as an oc introject, we called him “corgo” cuz he more closely resembled the comfort au version of said oc (which in hindsight was not a comfort au it was just the personification of the introject) and combined the word “comfort” with “margo” (the oc’s name)

driell - him n his sibling (who isn’t in our sys) both have names that r their parents’ names combined together n letters smushed around a lil bit!! his sisters name (alexis) is a combination of the specific alter names, and driell’s is a combination of collective names!!!

THIS WAS ACTUWLLY A LOT LONGER THAN I ANTICIPATED i expected it 2 be long but i underestimate how much i love infodumping about my system WAYGYH. if u read this all the way thru it means the world 2 me u have no idea

i wanr to infodump abt system stuff more cuz it makes me happy :33 just worry abt clogging up my blog a bit :P

that’s it that’s all!!! good day 2 u

- 🖤

(🥀🎀🧸 co-con)

[closetedotaku01]

thank u for taking my request!!! it is: so where i work (a front desk job) guys come in who are rlly flirty n shit, usually its harmless, like last week some guy just walked by & gave me a note w his number & i havent stopped thinking abt how akaashi would react to that happening to his gf o_o but sometimes it gets...rlly creepy...i jus wanna read abt akaashi w a gf who gets hit on a lot & how he’d react/comfort her 😔 cuz i wish i had him to make me feel better when men are creepy to me 😔

I’m just happy you trust me to write your request, Em. I’m more than happy to take it on <3. I hope it lives up to what you expect. And I’m very sorry you have to deal with what you’re dealing with it’s... disgusting. But I admire your strength for powering through it every day. And Akaashi would too. He’d be so mad at the situation, but so proud of you.

~~~~~~

Fem!Reader x Akaashi

-When it’s harmless flirting, Akaashi usually brushes it off.

-He’s not fond of the situation, but he understands that beautiful girls often get flirted with, and that you can’t really help being so gorgeous, and having such a beautiful smile. Even when the smile is feigned solely for the purpose of doing your job.

-But he trusts you completely. Akaashi wouldn’t even be in a relationship with someone he didn’t fully trust, so it’s never too much of an issue.

-At most he’ll feign a little jealousy so he can tease you and you can tease him back. He loves the cute little batner when you try to reassure him.

-You came home one night, and while you were taking off your shoes Akaashi came up behind you and gave you a hug. He had really needed you that day. Needed to be near you more than anything. And as he whispered a greeting in your ear, his hands slipped into the pockets of your hoodie as he held you. They went in with the intention of holding your hands which were tucked in the pockets to shield them from the cold, but instead he found a note. With some guy’s phone number. He smiled deviously, before having his face fall back to its usual expression.

-He started walking away and reading the guy’s name out slowly, “Really?”

-You laugh, “Oh. That was just some guy at work, Keiji. He was really sweet.”

-“Sweet?”

-“Yeah, he just slid it over on the desk when he was checking out,” you say, following him as he goes to sit on the couch, still examining the paper like it’s an important document that needs to be reread.

-When you’re in front of him he takes your wrist, and tugs gently, pulling you onto the sofa next to him. “Sweeter than me?” Akaashi teases, kissing your hand gently before lifting it over and around his head so your arm is slung around his neck. You lean against his body looking at the creased piece of paper, an uneven heart next to the nine digits written on it.

-You purse your lips to the side, eyes going to the corner of the ceiling, “Well…”

-His arm is suddenly thrown around your waist, and pulls you close to his chest so you’re almost lying on top of him, “Come on, kitten, you can’t just say that!” His voice is slightly whiny before he leans in and kisses the crown of your head, hand cupping your cheek gently and then slipping below your chin and guiding your face to look up at his.

-“Okay fine, Keiji. You win. You’re sweeter,” you huff, annoyed at the effect he has on you. The way his eyes are so peaceful and full of love just for you that you can never resist him.

-He kisses your nose lightly. “Good,” his voice is deep and intense. You lift your head and kiss his lips, before tucking your face into his neck.

-Akaashi loves knowing that he’s the one who gets your kisses and your eyerolls. Your soft touches and your playful hits. Your love and your teasing. You are his, and he will never understand how he got so lucky.

-However when things go too far… his reaction changes.

~~~~

You come home late. Later than normal. Later than the nights when your shitty boss makes you take on extra shifts. Later than ever before. No texts. No calls. No warning. And the second Akaashi hears the keys, he’s at the door. He’s been pacing the length of the apartment the whole night, waiting for you to get home. Needing you to come home and be with him so he could be certain you were okay.

He just wants to pull you in close and hold you, hold on tight to you, and fall asleep easily.

But when he sees you, he hesitates. Your hair is a mess, your makeup completely gone, your eyes rimmed red, your body closed off to him, your lips swollen.

“Kitten?” he asks softly, approaching you slowly and cautiously like approaching a wounded animal, “Is everything okay?”

You shake your head. You can feel all of it still. The disgust and grime all over you. There’s nothing clean. Nothing safe.

Akaashi knows you too well, “Want me to run a bath for you?” You nod and he gets straight to it, setting up candles and a bath bomb quickly and warming the water to your perfect comfort level. He lets you be alone while you bathe, letting the warm water melt away the day. Melt away the touch of that man’s hand on yours when he took the key to his room. Letting the steam and scented candles fog your mind, separating you from your thoughts, hazing the memory of his sleazy grin and crude remarks. You let your eyes flutter closed, and let it all disappear.

It doesn’t.

You get out of the tub, and squeeze your hair out, just enough so it’s not dripping. Akaashi sitting on the sofa in the living room. His head is leaned back over the back rest, eyes closed in thought. He’s playing with his fingers the way he always does, bending them back slightly and rubbing them up and down before moving to the next one.

You know it’s killing him. He needs to fix it. Wishes he could know what’s wrong and solve it the way he always does, clear the problem and move on. But you’re not ready to talk about it. And there’s no way to really fix it anyway. You spent hours of your shift, and beyond your shift talking to HR. It was the whole reason you were out so late. And they’d only reminded you of precautions you were meant to take. Because there was nothing they could do. Nothing anyone could do. Especially not to undo the damage that had already been done.

You walk around the sofa and he sits up straight, eyes flashing up to you. You know he needs it, and the world always feels a bit safer with Akaashi, so you take one of his hands in yours. You let your eyes meet his and you can see him analyzing you.

It used to bother you. Used to get on your nerves that he didn’t just talk to you. But in moments like this, in the moments when the words seemed impossible, you were grateful he knew you this well. He scoots over slightly, giving you an easy way in, and you take it. You curl up next to him. Your head rests on his shoulder, your hand cupped gently in his as he plays with your fingers now. He sees the way you relax at his gentle touch, and it brings him some peace knowing he’s at least being helpful.

The increasingly late hour makes everything feel oddly calm. Like the events that happened…. didn’t. Like your mind falsified the event, like in a few hours you’d be able to chalk it all up to a dream or being wasted. Of course, every time you think about it, it hits you, all of what he said, what he did, and the terrible realization of what he must have been thinking.

You speak with calculated words, like the story isn’t yours, “It was bad today, Keiji.”

There was no prompting, but Akaashi acts like your words didn’t just come out of nowhere, “Do you want to tell me about it?”

“I don’t know what I want.”

He nods, lightly bobbing his head, “That’s okay. We can just stay like this. Or I can put on music, or a movie to distract you. But if you want to talk… I want to hear it.”

“Okay,” you say, finally turning your head to face him. He puts on a slight faked smile for you. You know he’s waiting. And you know it’s better to talk about it, to vent, then to let it keep consuming you. Get it out of your head, and then it’ll stop taking up every corner of your mind.

“There was �� a really creepy guy at my work today. He …,” with being so mentally distant from the situation, and having already told the woman at work your situation, you thought it’d be easy to say. There was something about telling Akaashi that makes the whole thing real. It makes you realize how sickening it was. Forces you to take in the fact that that man had made a decision. A conscious decision proving that, to him, you and your comfort and boundaries, were not worth respecting. That you were something he believed he had a right to have access to. And the thought makes your mind open, finally accepting what happened, and you can’t go on. Your voice is caught under the lump in your throat, you can feel your eyes welling up.

Your lips press into a line, an attempt to hold in the whimpers threatening to fall out.

Akaashi’s eyes are patient and concerned, but once he realizes there won’t be more he doesn’t know what to do. You take the first motion, needing him closer as you cry into him, and Akaashi scoops you up into him, pulling you as close as the world will allow two people to be. “I’m so sorry.” He lets his large hands care for you, one rubbing up and down your back, pressing your slightly farther into him, the other scratching the back of your head gently.

You nod as you let the tears fall, gripping tight onto his shirt, letting yourself take him in. The smooth, gentle, welcomed feel of his skin as his body surrounds you. The clean, calming smell of him. The faint memory of cologne stuck to his shirt. His body wash, cologne, and detergent, filling your mind with pleasant memories. The warmth radiating off his body into yours. He feels warmer than the bath. You can feel the steadying control he has over his body.

“I’ve got you, Kitten. I’m right here,” he pushes you back only slightly so he can take your hands and loosens your grip on his shirt, instead letting his fingers intertwine with yours, “I’m not going anywhere.” He releases your hands, and his to your back, pressing you into him gently.

You bring your hands up, looping them around his neck and playing with the soft hair at the nape of his neck. You let yourself fall apart, let yourself tumble down and crack and weep, let fractured sentences slip out between sobs, unconcerned that you always leave them unfinished, because you know, no matter how far you break, Akaashi is there holding you together.

He never wavers. His breathing, his heartbeat, the calming strokes of his hands, all of it is steady. And he stays like this until your tears stop flowing, and your hiccups and sobs cease.

“Do you want to tell me the rest or do you want a distraction?”

“Distraction,” you barely manage to get out.

“A movie? A song? Do you want to hear about my day? Or have me tell you a story? Or---?”

“Just wanna hear your voice, Keiji.”

His heart doesn’t know what to do. You hear the way it thrums in his chest. Caught between melting apart at the sweet way you love him, at the knowledge that he can ease you, and breaking apart at how broken you sound.

“Alright, kitten. Let’s see… once upon a time, in a far off kingdom, there was….”

Akaashi continues to tell this little story. It’s mostly nonsense, but you love how his mind works. How he can spin beautiful stories for you whenever you need them.

When you hear him lose his thought, you chime in with a quick detail, your voice soft and raspy. It’s nothing like the stories he writes. These stories are far more special. He usually tells them to you when you’re having trouble sleeping, and you love the calm way he speaks, and the slight voices he does. You’re especially fond of the gentle way he pauses, waiting for you to name every character, or to say which creature the protagonists run into on their quest.

Tonight’s story was about a beautiful princess who, as always, shared your name or some variation of it. The story isn’t one you pay too much attention to, instead focusing on his heartbeat and the way his voice sounds deeper and garbled as it reverberates through his chest. Focusing on the way his body is wrapped around yours, and how safe it feels.

And after a little while, after a few twists and turns in the story, Akaashi manages to lull you to a peaceful sleep in his arms.

[baecvlt]

First Love

Pairing: Sougami (Byakuya Togami x Kazuichi Soda)

Warnings: Smut (all wholesome tho bc they barely met in this one)

A/N: Decided to write this up for the bestie (komaedanovio on TikTok; follow them). Azul would die for them and there are 0 fics abt them sooo. Yeah.

“So you’re part of the Future Foundation, huh?”

Byakuya pushes his glasses back as they were falling off his nose, then turning around to see the person who spoke. “Uh, yes,” he answered the pink haired man behind him, he stuck out his hand that he’d covered with a handkerchief,“Byakuya Togami”. They shook hands.

“Name’s Kazuichi Soda”

“I know. The ‘Ultimate Mechanic’, is it not?”

“Yeah! You look really rich. Valentino Couture?”

“Yeah—,” Byakuya answered, then looked down at his suit,“How did you know?”. “My mom was somewhat a tailor. She’d help fix and sew up suits such as yours, so I obviously had to recognize Italian threads,” he explained,“Made sure I washed my hands before approaching you, can’t stain a fine suit like that”. Byakuya was somewhat impressed. No one has ever appreciated his attire, he looked like a snob to most people.

Then again, Kazuichi isn’t most people.

“She taught me to sew, never let me handle suits,” Kazuichi added,“But I’d always see them in the closet hung up nicely”. He had a warm smile on his face, reminiscing tends to bring a little joy to him. “I think that’s just honorable,” Byakuya said warmly. “You think so?”. Byakuya nodded, the smile on Kazuichi’s face spreading. “Thanks,” he mumbled, but spoke up,“We should keep in touch, y’know?”. Byakuya began to think. He wasn’t really one for friends, Kazuichi was extremely beneath him. On the other hand, he was interesting to talk to and didn’t seem like a pest, right?

“That’s fine”

“Alright! How about we meet up during the island celebration? Tonight?”

Byakuya nodded, he didn’t know why, but he nodded. “Cool! See you later, Togami”. Kazuichi ran off, going to see if he can help with cleanup someway. As he ran, Byakuya had just realized he agreed to hang out with someone who he had just met. There wasn’t anything wrong with that, but it was just weird to him. I guess, he just seemed nice enough. Whatever. Now that the Tragedy is over, it’d be nice to return things to normal. Byakuya was ready to make new partnerships and if his first besides his classmates was to be Kazuichi, so be it.

Later that evening, Byakuya made sure to attend. He got there early, making it easier to spot Kazuichi. He was around Gundham and Sonia, who had begun warming up to him. Their eyes locked, Byakuya waved. Kazuichi waved back as he called for him,“Togami! Wait up—”. He ran from his two classmates and to Byakuya. Everyone had gotten dressed up, Kazuichi in a nice little suit that complimented his hair. He had glasses on this time. “What a surprise!,” he cheered,“I thought you would’ve bailed!”. That was sad to say the least. “How could I do such a thing? I had to come anyway,” Byakuya explained,“Makoto can’t drive...he’s also in the Future Foundation”.

“So I’ve heard. Can I offer you a drink?”

“Why not?”

Byakuya was a pessimist, this we know. He was as pessimistic as they come. Hanging out with Kazuichi was something he told himself wouldn’t be worth his time, but he agreed, so he had to suck it up. To his surprise, hanging out with him wasn’t so bad. In fact, he’ll never admit it, but Byakuya actually enjoyed Kazuichi’s company. They went for a glass of punch, enjoyed the feast, danced with friends till dawn. Around 4am (because damn, this party was just never gonna end), they took it upon themselves to walk along the beach. As they walked, conversations took place. Byakuya went off on a rant about his limousine life, riding in one everyday and how he feared for his life when doing so. His limo made a sound that sounded as if it were going to fall apart any time soon.

“It was a scratching noise against the asphalt and absolutely terrorized me as a child. To this day, I won’t enter a limousine. I just can’t”

“Scratching? Gee, only thing that comes to mind is the exhaust coming down. Wish I could’ve seen it and told you for sure”

“I still have it in a hidden garage. It’s that valuable”

“Oh, nice! Maybe, I can stop by and see what’s wrong. You’ll have to drive it though”

Byakuya raised a brow. “You’re the mechanic, are you not?,” he asked. Kazuichi laughed nervously, nodding. “See, thing is...I get terribly carsick”. Well, that was new. It was confusing to Byakuya, just as the confusion hit, Kazuichi added:

“Isn’t that funny? The rich guy who’s scared of limos and the mechanic with carsickness”

Byakuya snickered,“Yeah, I guess that’s unheard of”.

They laughed, finding a perfect place to sit down. It was late. Dark and late, the sand was cool against their hands. They took off their shoes, setting them aside. The waves crashes on the shore, “So, what next?,” Kazuichi asked. His voice was softer, Byakuya took notice. “What do you mean?,” he asked. Kazuichi pushed back his hair and shrugged. “I mean, now that we’re all free”. Byakuya took time to give a proper answer, he had a plan.

“Well, for starters, after we finish cleanup, do the very best to rebuild homes. Slowly as we become civilized again, I rebuild the Togami Conglomerate. It’s what my family would’ve wanted and for them, I’d do just about anything” “Wow” “And yourself?”

Kazuichi smiled, facing him. “I’ve been working on blueprints here and there to, get this, introduce new transportation for us all!”. Byakuya shrugged. “You haven’t heard the best part, though,” he added,“You’ll never guess what it is!”.

“Flying car?

“That sounds awesome— No! That’s not it at all!”

“What is it?”

Kazuichi bit back his smile and answered,“A monorail! One that goes super fast! I just know it’s possible! Average monorail? 70 miles per hour, but if I get it right, It could go 200 miles per hour...ore more!”. Now, Byakuya was smiling. “Impressive,” he responded,“It’d be very convenient for people to get around”.

“I’m glad you think so”

Kazuichi faced the ocean, sighing deeply. “I’ve just always wanted to build transportation, really fast ones,” he said,“My old man doubted me, though. He didn’t think it was realistic. He said cars I can do, but never anything past that. Something about cars is all the family knows, I dunno”.

“I think you can do it”

“You’re just saying things—”

“No, I know you can. You have something other geniuses lack. You have the heart. Where there’s heart, there is will”

“That means a lot coming from you”

“Why from me?”

Kazuichi explained that he knows about Byakuya’s family and they didn’t sound any easier, either. “We didn’t have good upbringings,” he said,“But you, you had it so hard. Yet, you overcame all of that shit. If you survived that and all of this, I know you can rebuild your conga line”

“Conglomerate?”

“Yeah, that”

They smiled. “Man to man,” Kazuichi added,“Is settling down in that plan?”. Byakuya hadn’t thought of that at all. Would he even want to settle down? Jesus. That was the last thing he expected to think about. “I’m going to be completely honest with you,” Byakuya answered,“I have no idea. That isn’t something that’s come to mind. While I’d like to have someone to continue my legacy, I just don’t know. Tell me about your plan?”. Kazuichi was confused now, he didn’t think Byakuya was gonna return the question. “I would like to, but who’d love me?,” he muttered. He continued.

“I never had the best luck with women, but then sometimes, I sit and wonder,’Do I really feel this way about women?’ I try to be such a people pleaser, I sometimes don’t even know if I genuinely like something or if I say I do because that’s what’s expected of me and I’ve never told anyone else that, wow”

Byakuya sucked at being comforting, we also know this, but he really wanted to be there for Kazuichi. “I think I’m gay,” Kazuichi blurted, covering his mouth. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that”. Byakuya shook his head,“First of all, congratulations”. Kazuichi couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Second of all, don’t apologize for being truthful to yourself,” he said,“I’m not exactly of heterosexual persuasion either”.

“Oh, thank god. I though I was going to be killed and thrown into the ocean”

“Nah, because who on this island is straight? Absolutely no one”

“You might be right...wow. I’m gay. I’m gay. I’m gaaaayyy”

Byakuya laughed,“Let it out, I guess”. “I’ve just never said that out loud! It feels so freeing!”. Kazuichi stood up and ran to the ocean. At the top of his lungs, he professed his attraction to men. He ran back, only for them to hear someone say. “You love who you love, man, more power to ya!”. They laughed at that moment, laughed so hard their stomach cramped. “Who even was that?,” Kazuichi sobbed.

“I think that might’ve been Yasuhiro”

“O-Oh, at least you know him”

They calmed down, enjoying their time on the sand. “This was fun,” Kazuichi mumbled. “I agree”. He scoot closer to Byakuya, who unknowingly wrapped his arm around his waist. He caressed his sides, softly. Kazuichi lay his head on Byakuya’s shoulder, which he didn’t mind. There was just something really comforting about this. “What’s most important to you in a relationship?,” Kazuichi asked. His voice was still soft, but unlike before, it wasn’t stern or blue. “For both of us to have ambition and goals set,” he answered,“What’s important to you?”.

“I just wanna trust someone. It’s hard for me to trust anyone, really. So as long as I can trust them and they’re kind, that’s all I want”

“Well, I’m a brutally honest cunt”

“I love brutally honest cunts”

He laughed as he continued to rub down his sides. As the saying goes, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Plus, tonight was going just great. “Look at me,” Byakuya said. “Hm?”. Kazuichi faced him, only to be grabbed and pulled to Byakuya’s lips. He gasped, a blush coming across his face as Byakuya kissed him ever so tenderly. They pulled away slowly. Kazuichi covered his face, Byakuya reaching for his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “No! Its okay!,” he blurted,“It was more than okay! I-I’ve just never kissed another dude before. Okay, I’ve never actually kissed anyone else”.

“Oh?”

“Well, I have, but not like this”

“I can tell. Your lips, they were so soft and inexperienced. Untouched, I’d say”

As Byakuya said this, he placed his thumb gently on Kazuichi’s lips, sliding it down soft and slowly; he shuddered before he spoke. “I want you to kiss me again,” he muttered against his sliding thumb. “Good”. Kazuichi’s breath hitched as Byakuya grabbed his jaw, gently kissed him. He kissed back now with more readiness, his hand digging into the sand. Byakuya’s hand moved from his jaw to his throat, gripping softly. A sweet moan escaped Kazuichi’s lips, making him bite Byakuya’s bottom lip. He winced, pulling away momentarily. “Sorry,” he whispered. Byakuya reassured him it was okay, but Kazuichi shook his head. “Let me kiss it better,” he cooed, pushing Togami on his back. Soda straddled him, pecking his lower lip.

Now, Byakuya was blushing.

“Ah, don’t hate me, but I kinda drew blood”

“You? Withdraw blood? With those teeth? Also unheard of”

“Hey! Shut up about my teeth”

“I like your teeth”

“I like you”

“Really? Prove yourself truthful”

“Say less”

“WHAT THE FUCK”

Soda quickly got off of Togami, who sat up just as fast. There stood Hiyoko, Mahiru, Ibuki, and Mikan. “Hey girls!,” Kazuichi waved,“Togami was just helping me find my glasses. We found them know, so there’s no need to worry”. “Oh don’t worry, we were just on our way to the cabins,” Mahiru explained. “What goes on in the cabins stays in the cabins! Wooho- ouch!”. Hiyoko acting as if she didn’t just nudge the fuck out of Ibuki. “Y-You know, if you two are going to, uhm, continue what you were d-doing here,” Mikan began to suggest,“Maybe you c-could go get a cabin too. The others are headed over here”. Kazuichi looked at Byakuya, who nodded. “Okay then! Let’s go!”.

So there they were, following the girls to the cabins. “I say we go to mine, just to be safe,” Kazuichi explained,“Besides, I got to clean up. It looks greats now”. Byakuya just nodded, he couldn’t utter a word. For some reason, his heart was pounding out of his chest. The girl’s split from them, giggling as they entered their room. “Home sweet home,” Kazuichi said as he opened the door. They stepped in, Kazuichi locking it. He had turned the lights on, but once he jumped on his bed, Byakuya turned them off. “Oh, you’re straight to the point, aren’t you?,” Kazuichi teased as he held his arms open for Byakuya to crawl in. He did just that, kissing him all over. He focused on his lips for about 30 seconds, before moving on to his neck, and finally he unbuttoned his shirt a little to kiss along his chest. Feeling his shirt unbutton, Kazuichi took it upon himself to do the same to Byakuya, except unbuttoning it all.

“Togami..

“Yeah?”

“Lay down”

“Alright”

Byakuya lay down as Kazuichi got between his legs, hands on his belt buckle. “Can I...?”. Byakuya nodded, giving Kazuichi permission to take it off. Carefully, he slid off his jeans and briefs, exposing his pale cock. At that point, it was quite obvious that Kazuichi had no idea as to what he was doing and supposed to do. He began by grabbing his cock, licking at his tip a little, stroking him. Byakuya snickered as Kazuichi’s eyes met his, but breathed deeply. He put his mouth over it, bobbing his head, accidentally hitting his throat. He gagged, but not loudly. Byakuya played with his hair, not yet grabbing it. “Take your time,” he comforted,“I want you to enjoy this as much as I am...Fuck~ you’re doing so well”.

Kazuichi was really, really struggling. He had to think back to the most realistic porno he’s ever seen. What were these people doing that he hasn’t? Try being sloppy maybe? Cursing himself for his lack of education in gay sex (well, actually, just sex in general), he worked with what he knew. The last thing he wanted was to embarrass himself. Little did he know, he was actually putting Byakuya on edge. Byakuya hardly cursed and when he did, it was for good reason. Like right now, Kazuichi was giving him the sloppiest head in that moment. He was doing so well, Byakuya became fixated his mouth. Something about his mouth drove him insane.

And then there was Kazuichi, still believing he was doing terrible. His thoughts were racing.

I know I’m doing something wrong...

Is he even enjoying it?

God, I’m so out of his league...

Maybe if I just spit...

What would my dad think of this? Wait, my dad’s dead—

Kazuichi allowed himself to drool all over his cock. Byakuya moaned, pushing his head back. “No more, I’m so close...,” he gasped,“I’d prefer to finish elsewhere...”. Kazuichi’s stomach sank. “O-Oh,” he stuttered,“Okay, I guess I’ll just lay down”. Byakuya got in between his legs now, removing his jeans amd boxers, examining him, realizing he’d look better completely nude. Kazuichi shivered, which he also took note of. “Let me pull a bedsheet over us,” he said,“You look cold”. “Thank you,” Kazuichi muttered as Byakuya fumbled for the covers.

“Better?”

“Still a little chilly”

“Okay, Uhm- how about now?”

Byakuya held Kazuichi with his arms wrapped around him, bare chests making contact. “Feels so nice,” he mumbled. Byakuya placed a kiss on his chest before warning him about prep.

“Please be gentle”

“I will be, just relax. Breathe”

Kazuichi was shaking at this point, he was so nervous and didn’t know why. Byakuya held him tightly, stopping himself from entering even a finger in the guy. “You’re shaking,” he noted,“Is everything okay?”. Kazuichi nodded, explaining,“This is my first time, I just want you to be gentle”. Byakuya helped him work on his breathing. He placed a warm hand on his chest, making sure his heart rate slows down. “There,” he whispered,“I’m gonna go slow”. Kazuichi nodded, bracing himself.

Prep wasn’t actually bad?

He took Byakuya’s first two fingers well, but then the third one made him whine (and cry a little). Nonetheless, he just wanted to get it over with. The pain had gone away once Byakuya had curled his fingers a few times. Kazuichi made small noises as he took his fingers, whining when pulled out. With his other hand, he cupped Kazuichi’s jaw, but slowly slit it down to his throat. Kazuichi gasped as he felt Byakuya’s grip tighten. “I’m going to ruin you ever so softly,” he whispered,“Understood?”.

“Yes...”

“Good”

Byakuya took his cock out, placing Kazuichi’s legs on his shoulders. Still tight, he groaned as he pushed in. “Ah! Fuck...”. Along with being filled by Byakuya’s cock, the grip on his throat remained, sending a wave of pleasure through him. Byakuya kept his thrusts slow, just like be promised. “I-Is this okay?,” Byakuya managed.

“Harder”

“I just started. D-Don’t you want to ease into it first”

“No, just— please. Also...”

Kazuichi moved his hand to Byakuya’s choking hand, pressing it down harder against him. “What you’re asking for could hurt you, um...Are you sure?,” Byakuya asked. Kazuichi nodded, fisting Byakuya’s hair and pulling him in for a heated kiss. In response, Byakuya only thrust harder into him. He knew he wouldn’t last long, seeing Kazuichi’s already fucked out face. Each thrust only made his blush deepen and his stomach acids find new ways to make him feel sick. Byakuya came to the realization that his cock already had the guy in shambles and in a trance, almost. He was making him feel good, but he knew that he wasn’t exactly fucking him the way he should be fucked, deserves to be fucked. He wasn’t hitting his sweet spot just right, Byakuya taking it upon himself to experiment with his thrusts.

“Ngh! Hey, why’d you stop doing that? It felt— Ah!”

Found it.

Byakuya tried thrusting with his cock in that angle, but realized it was harder in this position. “Ass up,” he sighed, slightly out of breath. Kazuichi didn’t hesitate whatsoever, immediately laying on his stomach with his ass in the air. Sure, he already felt weak in his knees, but that wouldn’t stop him from letting Byakuya do him the way he was about to.

It didn’t take long for Byakuya to rediscover this new spot, hitting it repeatedly. Kazuichi dug his face into the soft, white pillows; practically screaming as he was unraveling underneath Byakuya. His whines were perpetual and if you listened closely, you could hear exactly what he was saying in a quiet breath.

“Yesyesyes, oh! Please don’t stop now pleasepleaseplease I can’t take it anymore, Ah! I love you, I love you so much, I really love you, o-oh thank you..”

Byakuya smiled at his low, yet raspy words. I love you? “How cute,” he muttered, pulling his messy pink hair back. Kazuichi’s hand shook as he moved it too his leaking cock. “I’m close, Togami, please don’t stop”. Byakuya snickered,“I don’t plan on it”. Gently, he shoved his head back down onto the pillow, also nearing his high. Without warning, Byakuya came after a few thrusts. Feeling his warmth, Kazuichi came right after. He collapsed onto the mattress, head in the pillows and trying his very best to catch his breath. As he took deep breaths, Byakuya smiled as his fingers walked up the blushing boy’s back, tracing small circles and figure eights.

“You’re too kind”

“You deserve it,” Byakuya whispered, placing a hand on Kazuichi’s hip and kissing up and down his back (and to his neck). Kazuichi turned around, Byakuya getting to kiss his stomach a few times before being pulled up by Kazuichi. “Ah!”. He laughed as he held Byakuya tighter, nuzzling him. Byakuya may have been taller, but Kazuichi was definitely stronger.

“Gotcha”

Byakuya would be annoyed, but not when Kazuichi has the goofiest and most smug look on his face. Eventually he let him go, laying by him. Kazuichi’s hair was ruined by their little night Basically, he ended up with his tiny braid undone. Kazuichi twirled his excess hair in between his fingers. “Oh- Allow me,” Byakuya said, finding the rubber band used to fasten the hair, braiding. Kazuichi’s eyes stared at him lovingly, watching Byakuya put his glasses back on just to redo his braid. “Annnnnd...done”. Byakuya rubbed his chest before reaching for the the ground and picking up his briefs, putting them back on. He tossed Kazuichi his boxers.

“Thanks”

“Of course”

They lay next to each other, Kazuichi playing with Byakuya’s hair. “I’m so glad I met you,” Byakuya admitted. “Ditto”. Byakuya grabbed his chin, pulling him in for a slow, passionate kiss. Suddenly, the door creaked open, but two girls rush in, already fondling each other.

“Excited, aren’t you?”

“Why wouldn’t I be when you look so—”

Kazuichi and Byakuya stared at the two women, who awkwardly stared back.

“Togami?”

“Fukawa?...WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH NAEGI’S SISTER?”

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE MECHANIC?”

“I won’t say anything if you don’t”

“Sounds good to me! Come on, Komaru”

The girls ran out, thus allowing Kazuichi and Byakuya to finish their little makeout session. Eventually, it tired them out, sleeping in each other’s arms. Before sleep, Byakuya wondered something, but decided it could wait. The next morning, Kazuichi woke up first, planting a small kiss on Byakuya’s lips. As his eyes fluttered open, Kazuichi gasped. “My prince has finally awoken”.

“Silly”

“I know”

Byakuya kissed him properly, getting up to bathe. Upon entering the shower, he heard the door open. “Can I join?!”. Byakuya invited him in, closing the shower door. “Did you want something before we go?,” Byakuya asked, making Kazuichi blush. “Uh, no, um...did you?”. Byakuya shook his head.

“I just wanted to shower with you”

“I see. Help me with my hair, I’ll help you with yours”

Kazuichi nodded, grabbing the shampoo and lathering it into his hair. It didn’t take long to add in the conditioner in too since his hair was short. Now, Byakuya got to Kazuichi’s hair. He took care of Kazuichi, being less awkward about washing him up. It’s not that Kazuichi wasn’t into helping him, he was insecure about touching him. He wanted to do it right, sometimes doubting himself and what he was doing. Byakuya on the other hand, was confident in what he was doing as he massaged Kazuichi’s scalp whilst washing him. “Did you mean it?”.

“Mean what?”

“Last night while I was destroying you from the inside out—”

“Of course”

“—you said you loved me....well, did you mean it? I know people say things they don’t mean in a state of bliss, but-”

“Togami, I meant every word”

Byakuya’s heart skipped a beat as Kazuichi spoke. “If you mean it, tell me right now that you love me,” he ordered. “I love you, Togami. Do you love me?”. Byakuya held onto him, hugging him tightly. “Well, I guess this is my answer,” Kazuichi laughed,“Hey— Are you crying?”. Obviously crying, (because he was emotional for some reason) Byakuya backed away.

“Of course not! Me? Crying? No, never!”

“I love you”

“I love you too”

“Was this too fast?”

“What? You’re telling me you don’t believe in love at first sight?”

“I guess I do”

They finished up their shower and got dressed, heading out. Everyone had already met up at the dock. “Jesus, where the hell were you two?!,” Makoto asked, genuinely concerned. “Yeah, we were about to go search,” Hajime added. “I was helping Kazuichi pack something. I saw him struggle in his room with it,” Byakuya said, calmly. Kazuichi just went along with it. “Yeah, my tools wouldn’t pack well,” he explained,“Togami was just helping me stuff everything into my toolbox”. A low mutter was heard, but you’d have to be close enough to understand it.

“Yeah, right. That toolbox wasn’t the only thing Byakuya was stuffing...—”

“FUKAWA!”

“Alright! That does it for the headcount!,” Makoto announced,“Let’s get going. We have a rebuilt city to settle into!”. As everyone cheered on boarded the boat with their own individual classes, Byakuya rushed closer to Kazuichi. “Will I see you again?,” Kazuichi asked.

“Soon. May I kiss you goodbye, or would that be too much a cliche?”

“Yeah, but I love cliches. All the best movies have ‘em”

“So do I”

They kissed tenderly, Byakuya holding his waist. They pulled away, smiling. “See ya around,” Kazuichi mumbled. “Goodbye, Souda”.

[wizkiddx]

Need your person

ahhh i have really no idea what i am doing. Anywayyyss this is a really angsty Harry fic, I have a part two but not sure how I feel abt it - so we will see if it ever sees the light of day x x x 

“Tom? I’m back!” Nadia declared as she heavily shut the black gloss front door of her boyfriend's place. She was wrestling with a ridiculous amount of shopping bags, that bounced against her calves before deciding to just dump them at the door- they could be dealt with later. Naturally, she’d blame the excessive haul on her friend that she’d met for lunch; Georgia almost forced her to buy all the clothes...right?

Once she had done so, she glanced around the almost still house, making her left eyebrow quirk up a bit. Since Tom and Harry returned for Toms latest filming venture their house hadn’t been quiet for a moment thereafter. With Tom, Harry, Harrison and herself and Y/n (Harry’s girlfriend) living there- fair to say there normally was at least someone messing around and causing chaos. Before she could read any more into it, Tom appeared round the corner, a small smile as he caught sight of his lovely and almost certainly shopping addicted girlfriend. 

“Hey”

“Hey” He replied back, smile tight-lipped and a very awkward atmosphere falling over the normally most easy-going couple. Nadia didn’t like it, choosing to address it straight up. 

“You gonna tell me why the weird vibe then?” Bags long since forgotten and abandoned, the couple naturally entered the sitting room- Tom landing heavily on the plush cream sofa. 

“I-er... look I know she’s one of your best friends but... well Harry’s got a pretty conclusive photo and account taken by some fan. She’s been cheating on him.” Nadia was unaware of her jaw falling slack while she stood above her boyfriend, arms folded and shaking her head slightly. 

“No Y/n wouldn’t. Come off it Tom you know too, there’s no chance.”

“I’m serious Nads. Harry’s confronting her now, shits really fucked him up.” Tom had this hard tone behind his intense gaze, something that Nadia had only seen a handful of times in their 1 yes relationship. It scared her. 

“ Nonono rewind though. Y/n wouldn’t cheat on him... she’s so in love with the boy!” Tom knew this would be tricky, especially with how close the two girls had gotten over that first lockdown and then ever since. Sometimes he questioned who the relationship was between, Nadia and Y/n seemingly just made for each other in a platonic kind of way. He sighed heavily, digging his phone out his back pocket to show her the picture, all the while watched by her intense hazel gaze. Not saying another word, Tom just held his phone out for her to take, photo on the display. 

“Swipe next to see what she says” after a short time Tom added, Nadia squinting at the phone and clearly zooming in on the blurry image. 

It did look pretty damning, Y/n and an unnamed man with his arm around her- pulling her almost flush against his chest, even at the public cafe they were seated outside. Though the image was grainy as hell, Y/n looked upset, as if he was comforting her. He, just for information, was a fairly attractive man- Tom would fairly admit. Clean-shaven, crisp white shirt on, jet black hair perfectly styled and a strongly carved face. 

That was the issue though, why Nadia’s lips parted with a silent and almost non-existent breath outwards- most getting stuck in her throat. She knew the face, briefly, from an encounter when the boys were away filming. She’d been so busy concentrating on Y/n at that moment about a month ago, it was a surprise she recognised the face at all. 

Suddenly feeling her heart drop, Nadia followed her boyfriends instructions and swiped left, revealing a screenshot of an Instagram direct message - along paragraph giving an exact recount of the day (or at least this ransomers recount). To paraphrase:

“ she just kept going ‘Harry can’t find out. I can’t tell Harry.’ She sounded upset but I just thought you should know”

The fan was obviously well-meaning but just so so wrong. Nadia gulped a little before looking up at her boyfriend, who was unconsciously tensing his jaw. He did that when he was uncomfortable or nervous and hell was he. 

“Where are they?”She muttered voice quiet which Nadia hadn’t realised till long since she’d spoken. It was just tense. 

“In the garden but we need to leave them be it’s not-“

“-FUCK” Predictably, Nads didn’t let Tom finish, already turning on her heel and rushing into the kitchen. Tom yelling something and following, but that’s not what she was concentrating on. 

Her best mate needed her. 

Even at the far end of the kitchen,  Nadia froze at the sight through the garden windows. Y/n was sat with her head in her hands, clearly crying and rocking slightly on the black wicker garden furniture set while Harry stood above. 

Harry. 

Harry was seething with rage. Nads could see him yelling at her, arms being flown round to articulate his anger furthermore. Because Harry didn’t open up easily. Because Harry was so in love with someone that apparently betrayed him so completely. When he saw that DM he just couldn’t ignore it. He’d always been self-conscious, Y/n knew that most of all. It felt like a knife was plunged and then twisted deeper into his chest. And who committed the heinous act? The person he had trusted most int he world. 

“Tom, I will explain but for now you just have to trust me.” Tearing her eye line away from Y/n’s crumpled body, which flinched with every harsh word Harry yelled- as if he were trying to get a reaction from her. Tom just looked at Nads in disbelief, arms crossed protectively and waiting for more. 

“Look…I-I know for a fact she didn’t cheat. There something you both don’t know but it’s not this at all.”

“Nadia I know your close but.-“

“I’m being very fucking serious Tom. If you trust me you have to go and get Harry away. Bloody look at him- she’s not arguing back! He’s hurting them both.”

“ He has a right to be angry.” Tom tried to counter, feeling uncomfortable with how easily Nadia brushed off such a serious and real accusation. 

“Tom for both their sakes, please...I’m begging you to help me” It was the desperation in her brown eyes. Making Tom shift from foot to foot. He was so torn but Nadia must have a reason. This isn’t just her bullshitting to protect a friend, he could see that much. As she grabbed his hands desperately, Tom already knew he was going to follow her.  And she could most definitely see it too as she minutely smiled in thanks before walking with purpose toward the back door. 

—————

You needed an out. Now. 

When Harry had first cornered you in the house with a steely gaze and asked you to have a conversation in the garden, you’d been running on adrenaline. Naturally, you thought he had somehow found out- but this? He had got it oh so wrong. But what hurt most was the fact you couldn’t say anything. You knew his heart was breaking, the fact he was screaming at you and calling you names you thought he never could even associate with you, it was only because he was so hurt. Yet at that moment, you couldn’t fathom how to explain the truth. That was the issue… the truth would hurt him too. So maybe it was easier this way, him hating you and suddenly not being apart of each other's life. Because that would still hurt him less than reality.

With that thought, your body decided to just make this even harder. What did it do you ask? Choose that exact moment to fail you again. Your thoughts all suddenly got jumbled, it felt like your brain was on some sort of rollercoaster. Brief moments of clarity when you weren’t swimming in a pool of disorientation. But to be honest, those moments when you could see the pain on his face, they hurt more than just sinking into oblivion as your body sorted folded over on itself. 

You were stuck fighting two battles neither of which you were sure you could win.

—————

It was just then, as Harry launched into another ‘how dare you betray him’ spiel that Nadia and Tom opened the door. Nadia making an immediate beeline to Y/n, holding her shoulders and trying to support her into an upwards position - leaving Tom to deal with a ball of hurt and rage that was Harry. 

“Mate you need to stop it’s not making any-“

“Fuck off Tom this is between me and her.” Harry snapped back, slapping his brother's arms off his. 

“I know but it’s not going anywhere.”

“Tom”

“Harry I’m serious give it a minute. You need to cool down” Tom urged, still slightly concerned by the rage in his brother's eyes, while Tom gently reached out to hold his shoulders. The younger man needed a bit of grounding and the contact meant Tom could half steer him toward the house.  With a quick glance of worry back to Y/n and Nadia, Tom followed Harry inside- arguing him up the stairs into his room. 

Meanwhile, Nadia was getting more and more concerned. Y/n could barely hold her body up and she was shaking. 

“Y/n what do you need um the-the finger prick thing?… What’s happening?”

“Yeh and uh…Need the... in the fridge get the oat milk and my-my bag.” It was a bit of a weird request but Nadia wasn’t going to question it and ran inside, grabbing the oat milk that seemed to rattle and then Y/n’s bag which was just in the countertop, knowing that was where she kept her finger prick test. Although this wasn’t about her either - Nadia was slightly terrified, shakily shouting for Haz who had to be somewhere in the house. 

“Okay okay, do you need my help?” Nadia spoke with trembling hands, unzipping the little pouch to reveal the red device and all its apparatus. During the month the boys had been away Nadia had seen Y/n do this a thousand times, but it still scared her at the thought. Luckily Y/n shook her head and took the device, pricking her finger then squeezing the blood onto the sensor film. While it beeped away measuring her glucose levels she smiled weakly at her friend. 

“I’m just low I think, can you get the sachets out the milk?” Because of course, Y/n was such an idiot she had hid her essential medication within a carton of oat milk, which was genius and stupid in equal measure. Genius because everybody else in the house was absolutely disgusted by oat milk being a thing so no one would ever try to make a cuppa with it; stupid because in moments like this, who was to know that the bloody oat milk carton could save her life?

“Do I need to phone an ambulance… you-you don't look good Y/n/n.”

“No” Y/n swallowed thickly, grimacing slightly at the reading that just appeared on the device - by far the lowest it had ever read since she had started having to do these stupid measurements. “If I pass out then yes but… I just need the glucose strips” Nadia nodded, still trying to prise the plastic packages out the empty oat milk container. Wordlessly Nadia finally phished one out and ripped it open immediately thrusting it into Y/n’s mouth - at least 70% certain that was what she had to do with them. 

While all this was happening Harrison wandered into the garden and looked at the scene in front of him in a bit of shock. Y/n was deathly grey, looking as though she was fighting every urge in her body to just relax everything and collapse into unconsciousness. Nadia kneeled in front of her, already working on ripping another packet open. After taking a moment or two to process what was happening Haz knelt down next to Nadia. 

“You need me to do anything?”

“I -er don’t think so… actually Y/n?? Y/N????” Nadia started violently shaking Y/n whose eyes had finally slipped shut. “Fuck shit fuck… you need to ring an ambulance Haz.”

“Your serious?”

“Deadly. I’ll explain later just get your phone… tell them she was having a hypo and now she’s unconscious. The er the number on the machine thing was 2.8”

Harrison didn’t argue; he did what he was told and an ambulance was immediately dispatched while Nadia followed instructions of the operator that had been put on speaker, still dropping the sachets of liquid down into her mouth. In fact, when they heard the ambulance pull into their road, Y/n started to stir- groaning and heavily blinking her eyes open. 

It was a bit of a blur, but the paramedics came in and slowly Y/n started to get more with it. 

“You know what happened to you love?” The kind-eyed Liverpudlian lady asked, removing the oxygen mask that was put on her as a precautionary measure, in the haze of them arriving. 

“Blood sugar low?”

“Uh-huh, you’ve just had a hypo. Are you type 1 or 2?”

“Um, I-uh…” Y/n flicked her eyes up to see Haz still stood looking very concerned while Nadia spoke to the other paramedic in hushed tones. “Neither… I got pancreatic cancer and so…so my whole pancreas is kind of dying.” Y/n could practically hear Harrison's eyes bugging out his head - but kept her eyes firmly on the blonde stout lady. She wasn’t ready to face that yet.

“Oh, lovie... you have to be really careful yeh? Hypos can turn to a coma really quick and you know what happens then.”

“I’m sorry, I uh guess I forgot to eat and then been running on adrenaline cos of…” Because of Harry. But she wasn’t about to pour her heart out to a complete stranger so instead shut her mouth. Emma, the paramedic, seemed t9 get the message and again smiled down at her gently.

“It’s okay I get it... so you know then that because you lost consciousness really we should be taking you to the hospital? Get your bloods checked?” The grimace on Y/n’s face was more than enough to answer her.

“Please I just want to sleep-“

“You need to go to hospital Y/n/n” Haz interjected who had been completely silent and still in shock. Yes, she wasn’t his girlfriend, but they were bloody close and he still hadn’t really had an explanation. 

“I just want to sleep and-and I got a lot of explaining to do” Y/n made the mistake of momentarily looking up to see Harrison’s glassy eyes and Emma followed suit. 

“You the boyfriend?”

“No, i- um I’m his housemate.”

“If we are even still together” Y/n mumbled her eyes trained on the ground. In response, Haz huffed indignantly sitting down right beside the slightly crippled girl and slung his arm around her shoulder. “Don’t you worry about that hey? Everything’s is gonna be fine.” Her head came to rest on his arm making Haz bend down to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. She was sort of the other sister, having been on the scene much earlier than Nadia had, he’d come to really get on with her. 

After a moment of just being there with Haz, Y/n simply thankful he didn’t seem to hate her or believe the rumours anymore, Emma spoke up. 

“So a hard pass on the hospital is it? Because then we should just think about getting you inside to rest.” Y/n nodded hard, very clearly expressing her preference, making the two chuckle. “They’d only be checking your blood levels which I can get a doctor to do tomorrow morning from home. I’m not supposed to say this but it's okay to stay.” It was all going swimmingly until they heard a very very familiar voice. 

“What the hells happening?” 

[zontiky]

okay so i tried to save this ask as a draft and it got deleted because tumblr is just such a functional website like that <3 but the prompt was “the hargreeves as ghosts in the apocalypse with five” or something like that i’m going to scream

this is SUPER long so i’m putting it under the cut hfkjsd

pre-five: the hargreeves siblings are dead. wait i feel a drabble coming on ooh

The Hargreeves siblings are dead.

Ben isn’t very aware of this at first. He’s been dead since 2006 -- he’s quite used to it, by now. What he is aware of, first, is light. Blinding white light. And Vanya, in the middle of it. He doesn’t close his eyes because he can’t feel pain, but if he could he thinks she would have made him blind. There’s light, and heat, and power, and then he closes his eyes anyway because the ceiling is collapsing around him and it’s instinctual.

When he opens them again he sees ash. Ash -- and Klaus.

He’s gotten used to Klaus, too. Klaus has a memorable sort of face; even if he didn’t, Ben has seen it every single day for almost twenty years. He doesn’t know if it’s actually been twenty years, for him. He doesn’t know how time moves for ghosts. Klaus has assured him it moves the same as it does for the living. Ben isn’t sure Klaus, stoned out of his mind, bleeding sluggishly from his arm, knew what he was talking about.

Anyway.

Klaus.

He’s wearing the coat he’s been flaunting around for the past week. His shirt is see-through, with little stars on it, like a pale imitation of the sky. Ben remembers his pants had laces on them, he’s sure they did not a minute ago, before the brightness that threatened to wipe out his very soul -- his soul is all he has left, really. His gaze drifts down anyway, to check.

Yes. Klaus’ pants have laces up the sides.

“No,” Ben says. Klaus is laying in a heap on the ground, his fingers curled like his tendons have been cut.

His lips feel numb because they always feel numb. Because Ben can’t feel at all. He takes a step. “No,” he says again, louder, surer. “No!”

Klaus looks up at him. His makeup is smudged, like it tends to be. His lips are bitten raw, like they tend to be. His hair is a mess, like it tends to be, and like it will be, always, because Klaus isn’t breathing.

Klaus is lying in a heap on the ground. Klaus is standing above his own body. Klaus is reaching for Ben like he’s hoping to touch him for the first time in years. Just when Klaus’ cold, dead, fingers brush his face, a voice from behind says, so quietly, dripping with disbelief: “Ben?”

Ben shuts his eyes and wishes desperately he could cry.

He feels a hand on his shoulder, for the first time in so, so long, but he also doesn’t feel it at all. He feels-but-doesn’t-feel someone turn him around, until they are saying, “Ben? Ben!” and he has no choice but to open his eyes and face the music.

Diego is gripping his shoulders like he is a dying man and Ben is the answer. Behind him, Luther and Allison watch them, stunned silent. Allison’s hands are pressed to her mouth. She looks like she wants to cry. 

And Vanya. Little Vanya, painted white. Her head is hung as her shoulders shake with the weight of the destruction she has so inevitably caused. (Ben would say he always knew she was destined for great things -- but he can’t, because he didn’t.) (Nobody ever said great things had to be good.)

The Hargreeves siblings are dead. Their bodies are strewn across what is left of their childhood home, smouldering and burning, and Ben is very aware of that fact.

righto anyway. so they have an emotional reunion but its also kind of bitter? id have to actually write this for it to make sense so lets skip it for now lol

five shows up

he cannot see them obviously bc theyre all ghosts

god if i did write this it would be such a monster of a fic and would take me like 2 years to finish i already know fhkjdsk

somehow ?? they manage to influence the world around them maybe? idk maybe now that klaus is dead hes sober

or maybe hes high for all eternity?

for the purposes of this au lets say he died sober or in the late stages of withdrawal, and bc ghosts cant feel pain in action hes sober

so EVENTUALLY they figure out how to corporealize bc klaus is like blam wham ghost powers

asdlfk that sounds so stupid im sorry

he would say that tho imho,,, it sounds like something hed say,,,

if i DID write this it would be alternating povs also,,,

ok so out of all of them klaus and ben have the most experience homeless

and while being stuck in an apocalypse is not at all the same thing as being homeless it does help to have some knowledge

five doesnt eat the twinkie!! good for him

dammit okay. theres 2 options we can take here. in the comics five couldnt get back bc he fucked up his math and spent 15 years doing the wrong thing, but if u apply that here, with 6 other ppl checking his work this could be avoided and they end up skipping the whole assassin shtick and just hopping straight back to 2019, ready to prevent the apocalypse

OR five still gets hired for the commission but the sibs are tagging along

i think bc five isnt completely alone in this au unfortunately dolores doesnt exist :((

for each other the 2 paths tho theres also options?? bc they (ghosts) can go back in time and inhabit their past selves bodies? OR they could just,,, cease to exist

IM JUST NOW REALIZING HOW MANY PATHS THIS COULD TAKE,, AAH FUCK

okay gonna split this into parts. this is gonna be so long brace yourselves.

1) they go back in time because math checking and the ghosts swap out for their past selves

after multiple years of being stuck in an apocalypse together i think they would learn to get along with each other. like at least a little bit

which would make it easier for them to prevent the apocalypse

bc theyd:

trust each other more

already know abt the apocalypse and not have to wait for five to grace them all with his knowledge

are working as a team from the very beginning

have open lines of communication

yeah uh. so there

vanya is also already aware of her powers so the whole harold goading her into turning against her family and snapping to wipe out all life on earth thing? yeah that doesnt happen

oh and harold wouldn’t know how to do that in the first place because klaus wouldn’t throw out reggie’s journal! this solves so many problems wtf

there’s still commission issues bc they (and by they i mean five) are on the commission’s radar

so there’s still dope fight scenes sdlkfd pinky promise

okay idk. they stop the apocalypse and everything is okay the end hfkjd

2) they fix the math but only five can go back and the ghosts cease to exist

this is just sad! it would be sad okay! im sad! lets move on

subset of the past one: ben CAN go back with five because he was already dead and time travel affects them differently or something idk

aaaaaa

five & ben dynamic duo would be dope as shit BUT five would not be able to see him... so they use klaus as a middleman fjsdsfd

is there 2 bens? is one ben deleted in favor of the time-traveling ben? i dont know! i dont know my brain is melting

either way shit is happening yall!! obviously klaus is clued in, directly or indirectly it doesnt matter but he is on board the ‘don’t let the entire world end in flames’ train

3) they join the commission and then when five goes back in time they all go back

this is fun because now five is a highly trained assassin who is also lowkey a complete marshmallow for his siblings and once again TEAMWORK WOO

basically the first path but now five has a gun fhsdjk

4) they join the commission but five has to leave them behind and they cease to exist

five with a gun but hes sad now

i didnt go into how much losing his siblings would suck in the prev path but like. it would suck so much. he’s already lost them once if you think about it when he time traveled the first time and yeah he found the adult ghost versions but,, its different

and now suddenly hes stuck with these strange adult versions of the people he knows and he KNOWS them but also he doesnt? at all? they dont have all the years of shared experiences together? and theyre all grown up from the first ‘set’ of siblings he had which for five was like 40+ years ago??

SCREAMS

i have losing my mind disease (self-diagnosed)

subset: five has to leave them behind but they still exist because the commission is out-of-time kind of? idk but they’re still floating around somewhere and come back to impact the plot later or something

yeah idk. literally just wrote them down bc i didnt want them to die^2 hfkjwehd

subset: they still exist but instead of being just Somewhere they’re specifically at the assassination of JFK onwards because thats where five left them and they either go on ghosting and make an appearance in s2 OR they cease because them-wise they havent died yet but that doesnt make sense because ghosts can time travel so nevermind

i dont have the brain energy left to explore this one aaaa

okay jesus christ i think that’s all

I DON’T KNOW. i don’t know. i might write some more of this because honestly it is a very fine flavor of angst + hurt/comfort <3

[hesther-mcg]

wishful thinking

request: Anonymous said:Hi! I saw your mai x reader and it was amazinf!! so could I request a Mai x waterbender!reader hc/ one shot (whichever you wanna do!!) The way you write her is amazing!!☺️

pairing: mai x waterbender!reader

warnings: idk how to feel abt this :/// if it’s not what u were wanting i’m sorry i can always do another part 

a/n: super long! maybe not good, who knows! i tried my best, but maybe this could be continued? waterbender!reader goes to the boiling rock prison break party?? some more pining, maybe some words exchanged between reader and mai?? 

creds to owner, i couldn't find them :(

“Aang and Sokka, I wish you a good journey,” Earth King Kui bid farewell. “Ba Sing Se owes you it’s thanks, and we look forward to your safe return.” 

Your group of friends bowed to him, small smiles on all of your faces. You had finally managed to get to him and tell him about the war, and expose Long Feng, and now each of you had specific tasks to complete. It made you slightly uncomfortable to split up, but things were never easy in times of war. 

You had decided to stay behind in the city with Katara so she wouldn’t be alone. Sokka deserved to see his father, so she had so kindly opted out of the journey, and upon realizing you had no business at the Eastern Temple with Aang you chose to stay with her. 

“Your Majesty,” a guard came up, alerting everyone. “There are three female warriors here to see you. They’re from the island of Kyoshi.” 

“That’s Suki!” Sokka yelled as he fell to the ground from Appa’s side. He groaned dramatically as he squirmed around, and you reached a hand out to help him. 

“You know these warriors?” The Earth King questioned, taking a few steps forward. 

“Oh yeah,” Sokka replied as he stood up straight. “The Kyoshi Warriors are a skilled group of fighters. Trustworthy, too.” He smiled. “They’re good friends of ours.”

The Earth King nodded his head. “Then we shall welcome them as honored guests.”

--------------------

The sun was high in they sky as the Kyoshi Warriors made their way down the path before them, lined with Earth Kingdom guards on either side. The three girls, in matching makeup and uniform, wore stoic expressions as they inched closer to the King. 

“In our hour of need, it is with the highest honor that I welcome our esteemed allies,” he extended his hands, and the girls kneeled before him, resting their painted foreheads against their hands. “The Kyoshi Warriors.” 

Slowly, they rose back up, revealing their faces to the very man they were there to overthrow. “We are the Earth King’s humble servants,” the girl in front mused, eyes sharp. 

--------------------

You sighed. You knew that this was what you’d signed up for when you stayed behind with Katara, but that didn’t mean you enjoyed the things you had to do. You sat on the ground beside your friend, Momo resting on your shoulder, and a large map of the four nations separated the both you from the row of Generals you were speaking with. They were so far away you couldn't even make out their features, and you were sure that the both of you looked like two specks of blue rather than kids. 

“General Fong’s base will serve as the launching point for the attack. In exactly two months, the Army and Navy will invade the Fire Nation on The Day of Black Sun,” he moved his arms about, and the clay pieces on the map that represented Earth King forces moved. They glided towards the Fire Nation Capital, and Momo flew from your shoulder and landed with a small crash, and all the pieces fell over. 

“Or we could send in Momo to do some damage,” Katara joked with a laughed as the lemur moved around and knocked more things over. “Cause the...” when she was met with a stern silence, you nudged her with your elbow. “Sorry,” she quietened down and you rubbed her arm a few times.

General How closed his fist and all the pieces erected themselves, causing Momo to jump with a screech and retreat to the comfort of your shoulder. “All we need is the Earth King’s seal in order to execute the plan,” he placed down a scroll, and it glided towards the pair of you on a block of stone. 

Katara picked up the scroll as you both rose up from the ground. “We’ll get these scrolls to him right away. Thank you, General How.” You bowed and turned away from the men, and together you and Katara took off down the corridor. 

The walk through the Upper Ring was nice, Ba Sing Se truly was a beautiful place. It was nothing like what you and Katara were used to, which was snow, ice, and water. The North and the South had their differences but one thing rang true for both places; it was cold and wet and blue, but it was home. The city was different, hues of green and yellow filling the streets, gold trinkets lining the windows of some shops, expensive clothes on racks in others. 

But the nice tea shop that caught your eye was probably the nicest thing you’d seen. It was beautiful and shiny, and evidently very popular. “Hey, Katara, let’s get some tea!” You pointed towards the building. “Come on, it’ll be nice,” you smiled and batted your eyelashes, giving her your best pleading expression. 

“Hmm, alright,” she agreed. “What do you say, Momo? A cup of tea before we get back to the  Earth King?” She asked the lemur on your shoulder. He chattered in response, looking between the both of you with his large eyes. It was all you needed to start heading towards the shop. 

You were greeted at the entrance after trekking up the steps. “Table for three, please.” Katara spoke to the pretty woman while your eyes scanned the surrounding area. 

“Uncle!” A familiar voice shouted. “I need two jasmine, one green, and one lychee.” None other than Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, the very boy who’d been hunting you and your friends for so long, wore a uniform and flitted around the shop. You nudged the girl beside you, and she gasped. 

“I’m brewing as fast as I can,” the old man you recognized as Zuko’s uncle assured with a small smile, standing in the kitchen area of the tea shop. It was as if time had stopped, and everything in the world went out of whack. Nothing made sense, this didn’t make sense. 

Nothing needed to be said, no look needed to be shared; you and Katara had the same thought in mind. 

We need to tell the Earth King. 

The both of you bolted down the stairs and ran away, flashes of blue heading towards to King. You were panting by the time you got there, but the relief of seeing Suki resting on the ground in front of the throne, her gold headband and oil makeup familiar and comforting, was sweet. 

“Thank goodness you’re here, Suki,” Katara rushed. “Something terrible is going on. The Fire Nation has infiltrated the city. I just saw Prince Zuko and his uncle!” 

Suki’s eyes widened a fraction before a sly grin grew on her lips. It was then you realized that this wasn’t your friend, and the two girls resting behind her weren’t Kyoshi Warriors either. You don’t know why it had taken you so long to figure out, or why Katara still hadn’t figured it out herself. This girl was acting nothing like Suki, and it was so painfully obvious now. 

“We have to tell the Earth King right away!” Katara urged, and your eyes cut to her. Something was wrong, and when the girl wearing your friend’s headband, and your friend’s uniform stood up, the female waterbender finally figured it out. 

“Oh don’t worry.” The mystery girl assured, slowly stepping forward into the light, and her golden eyes shined. “I’ll be sure to let him know.”

Momo screeched and flew from your shoulder, fleeing to who knows where; but you didn’t mind, he was safer elsewhere. Suddenly, the Chi blocker you’d fought on several occasions leapt forward, a flurry of flips and handstands and acrobatics. Her hand landed on Katara’s shoulder as she flew over her, and the your friend dropped to the floor. The water she had pulled from her pouch sloshed to the ground, and you pulled it up and combined it with your own water. 

Before you could do anything, however, the girl grabbed you in the same spot she ahd grabbed your friend, and she pulled you backwards. You lost the sensation in your limbs, and you dropped and landed in a puddle of water. 

“So, Zu Zu’s in the city, too.” Azula mused, walking closer to the both of you. You could only see above you, and the girl with the knives you’d been thinking about since Omashu entered your line of sight. The edges were blurry, and steadily growing more fuzzy, but you’d recognize her any day-- even with the makeup. 

“I think it’s time for a family reunion.” 

--------------------

“How’d you learn that?” You asked, and the girl beside you chuckled. You were sitting so close together that your’re arms brushed every so often. 

“I was bored in my room, so I taught myself a trick,” she shrugged, throwing another knife at the wall. It stuck an inch away from the one she’d thrown just before, not any higher or lower. 

“Well, you’re really good,” you complimented, and your cheeks reddened. “You think you could teach me?”

She looked at you, her dark hair shining in the light. She grinned at you, small but sweet nonetheless. “Sure,” she drawled. “Someday.” 

You couldn’t take your eyes off of her. She was so pretty, and she looked so cool and collected. She was a complete mystery, one you wanted so desperately to solve. 

--------------------

That was wishful thinking. 

You wouldn’t get to see her that close, or brush your arm against hers, or have her smile at you. She was on Azula’s side, and you were on Aang’s. It was as simple as that. None of the other factors needed to be mentioned; like how you didn’t know her name, or her age, or how she got mixed up in the schemes of the Royal family. 

You wouldn’t get to learn how to throw knives, or just what to do to make the Fire Nation girl smile like she did whenever you dreamt of her. That’s all you would ever have, dreams and wishful thinking. 

[angeltrapz]

howdy 💙 chainshipping ask time: on days when they’re feelin bad, what do they do for the other person? also favorite date night activities? + th first moment post-bathroom where they each realized they’d fallen in love w th other?

hi!! 💜

ooh I think abt this a lot actually. I think th two of them have a tendency 2 bottle things up, so it kind of takes a lil bit fr them to realize tht Hey, Someone Wants To Make Sure I'm Okay and fr them 2 then get to a place where they share how they're rly doing rather than bein like "no everything's fine wdym :)" but once they Do get past tht n r able 2 be honest w each other, it's a lot better fr both of them + honestly its own form of healing.

a lot of th time when Adam's having a bad day, he's either nonverbal or responds w as short of an answer as possible, so th big thing Lawrence does fr him is just let him know he's there when/if he's ready 2 talk + there's no stress 2 tell him what's wrong right away. tht's smth tht's rly important to Adam, n smth he appreciates greatly. often times, along w tht, Adam tends 2 seek out physical contact - so like coming up behind Lawrence while he's cooking breakfast n wrapping his arms around him, holding his hand when they're walking together, sitting close enough so their knees/shoulders/hips brush + just leaning into Lawrence's side altogether, etc. so another thing they do is either cuddle up on th couch or in th bedroom n they watch a few movies together. sometimes Lawrence will read 2 him too. it's rly all abt proximity + lil actions tht in reality r a wordless way 2 say "I'm here, it's okay, we'll get thru this together." Lawrence is patient, doesn't rush him, n stays close by. fr Adam, tht is more than enough + means th world. n it eventually leads 2 him being more comfortable voicing how he feels more often!!

Lawrence's bad days r a lil harder to catch bc even tho he knows Adam's there, he still feels a pretty intense amount of guilt + doesn't often feel tht he has like. a right 2 complain? bc I think, fr a long time, he views himself as th one most responsible fr what happened in th bathroom n how they got there. it takes a while fr him to break out of tht mindset, but th main thing Adam reminds him of is he's still here. bc Lawrence spends a lot of time thinking like, "if I wasn't a bad person, Jigsaw wldn't have chosen me or put my family in danger, therefore it's my fault + I need 2 atone somehow." Adam is aware of this, n they've found tht th best solution is fr him 2 just b very blunt n ask "well was I a bad person? was I so horrible tht Jigsaw chose me based on tht n I deserved what happened next?" n of course Lawrence will immediately be like "no of course not??? nothing u cld've done cld warrant tht?" (kinda like th way u mentioned Adam comforts William) so Adam gets to respond w "tht applies 2 u too, u know. yr not a bad person. nothing you cld've done wld warrant smth like tht, either."

n Lawrence mentally bluescreens th first time he hears Adam say tht bc it's just like. He's Right. if he doesn't think Adam is a bad person + deserved wht happened, why did he? so tht's like th big thing Adam does fr Lawrence. he reassures him tht despite his brain's best efforts 2 convince him otherwise, he is a good person who Adam loves n tht might've made mistakes, but they didn't warrant being chained to a pipe in a fucking bathroom somewhere w his family in danger + being tasked 2 kill his now-bf, christ.

favourite date night activities!! I think they're mostly p lowkey fr th most part just bc of like, th unease of potentially being around A Lot Of Ppl, but every once in a while they'll dress up a lil bit n go somewhere nice fr dinner bc Lawrence is a hopeless romantic + he likes being able 2 do tht fr Adam sometimes. Adam thought it'd be like, wayyyy too stuffy + uncomfortable esp bc it's not smth he's used to, but honestly it's rly fun n they get to spend time together, so in th end it's all fine! plus there's never any pressure 2 like, go all out w dressing up or anything, so tht's nice too. honestly, if Adam wasn't so in love w Lawrence, th way he holds his hand over th table while they skim thru th menu + talk abt what sounds good might make him think he was somehow th main character of a romcom.

a lot of times, too, they frequent this local diner tht Adam used 2 go to fr breakfast all th time when he n Scott were teenagers bc it was relatively cheap, th food was good, + th staff was full of kind ppl. the lighting is lowkey n they usually have some sort of seasonal decorations around th place, n it's just somewhere Adam feels Safe, which of course leads 2 Lawrence feeling tht way abt it too. it's rly nice fr when they still want to go out, but don't rly want to put too much effort into it (tht's not to say th diner is low-quality tho!). they're there so often some of th servers know them by name + are friendly w them, so there's tht too!

their favourite, tho, is nights in where they order takeout or delivery so tht neither of them have 2 cook (Adam is getting better w it, tho Lawrence still cooks fr th majority of th time) n they can just relax. sometimes they lay a bunch of blankets on th floor n camp out there, sometimes they make a pillow fort bc why not, n sometimes they just grab their favourite blanket n curl up on th couch while watching random TV fr background noise or movies. Adam’s head always ends up on Lawrence’s shoulder at some point. Lawrence will have an arm around his shoulder. sometimes Adam will rest his legs across Lawrence’s lap. it’s just being close + enjoying some downtime tht they both rly appreciate.

as fr th first time they realized they were in love each other... in all honesty, fr Lawrence, it was pretty much th moment Adam finally woke up in th hospital n looked at him n said “you came back fr me.” (like yr text game Still Life is Exactly how I see it happening!!) however, th first time Lawrence rly became CONSCIOUS of tht feeling n was able 2 put a name to it was honestly so simple and yet so meaningful. it was Adam standing in his kitchen th morning after he’d spent th night bc he cldn’t get to sleep on his own, too worked up n on edge n afraid 2 be alone.

it’s Adam in only a faded n too-big t-shirt n boxers trying 2 figure out how to use Lawrence’s keurig. it’s th sunlight streaming in frm th window above th sink n framing Adam’s face n turning his eyes this bright honey-green when Lawrence catches them. he’s in th middle of washing the dishes bc he’d been meaning to since th night b4, watching as Adam moves around n learns th placement of everything, his presence so natural-feeling tht it’s hard fr Lawrence to even imagine tht he hasn’t always been there. and then Adam turns 2 look at him bc he can feel him staring, his hands curled around a mug of hot coffee, eyes still half-lidded w remnants of sleep n hair a wild unruly mess, and he smiles - tht is when Lawrence truly realizes tht he loves him. he cldn’t imagine his life w/ out Adam in it. he can hardly remember how it felt to live w/ out him. tht’s when he knows.

I think fr Adam, th moment he became truly aware of how much he loved Lawrence was actually during one of his bad days where he was stuck in th mental bathroom, unable get out of his own head fr much longer than a few minutes at a time. he had gone mostly nonverbal n found the energy needed 2 keep up a conversation was just not smth he had, but instead of Lawrence being irritated by tht fact, he was going out of his way 2 be like, “I know yr not doing well, n tht’s okay, if u want 2 talk to me I’m here but if u don’t I’ll still b here anyways.” n tht’s like smth tht’s so foreign to Adam, ppl being willing 2 understand his struggles w things like speech n eye contact if he’s distressed + who don’t try 2 force him to power thru it, so tht first time he’s just sitting there on th couch, leaning against Lawrence’s side w/ his legs tucked up underneath him n w his weighted blanket covering them both, watching Lawrence fill out th crossword in th daily newspaper n just kinda coasting tht line between being present n checking out, he’s just like. Huh. This Is Nice.

bc no one’s ever rly offered tht kind of accommodation 2 him? esp not his parents, which is part of wht I mentioned earlier abt his tendency to bottle things up. neither of them have 2 say anything; it’s just comfy, reassuring, sitting so close + sharing a space while maintaining a comfortable silence bc Adam doesn’t think he can explain yet. n he looks up at Lawrence’s face, tracing th heavy line of his furrowed brows as he concentrates hard abt whatever word it is he’s trying 2 figure out, th tip of his tongue peeking out btwn his lips as he squints, occasionally mouthing a word or two, n tht’s kind of when it hits him. it’s just kind of like an internal ah, I see. Lawrence doesn’t mind tht he’s like this. he doesn’t badger him fr answers or expect him 2 be th perfect image of good mental health n is perfectly content 2 just sit w/ him as he rides it out. tht’s when Adam really gets tht this is love.

tysm fr this ask I had so much fun w it <3

[ironmandeficiency]

13 x 7 = 28

pairing: no pairing (no reader mentioned)

word count: 1907

summary: naturally is in deep shit. he got in over his head during sabaac with a member of the five-oh-first and now owes the man in blue more credits than he’s ever had at once. luckily, his ori’vod have his back.

a/n: apparently a sequel to “who’s my commander” was something ppl wanted, and i was all too eager to write something with my darling twenty-fifth boys. heads up, this is a dialogue-heavy piece. tagging @boba-thot​, & @morganas-pendragons​ . please ask me abt my oc boys!! i have so many of them, i would love to share them with y’all!!!

“jort! ba! wait up!” the men in question slow down upon hearing their names being frantically shouted. if there was something bad happening that pertained to combat or one of the carnivorous felucian plants, they wouldn’t be the ones sought out. so they realized that it must be something of a personal nature and that allowed their heart rates to slow back down as they turned to identify the vod calling for them.

naturally was in deep shit. he had made the poor decision to join a few members of the five-oh-first in a game of sabaac and now owed them ninety-one credits, which was more than he’s ever had at once. the credits he had now only added up to half of that and knew that if he didn’t think of something, he’d be stuck on sanitation to pay off his debt to the cog-headed man.

jort would not admit that his mood softened a little upon identifying the distressed man as naturally. ba, however, knew that the man beside him was indeed sympathetic (sometimes too much for his own good) and that jort was now planning his evening around the needs of the frantic kih’vod in front of them.

“naturally, what’s wrong?”

“i was playing sabaac with the five-oh-first and got in over my head! i owe jesse more credits than i’ve had since i left kamino and i-“

the rookie was almost trembling and that was it, the older troopers were done for. naturally was now officially under the protection of him and jort, jesse be damned.

a metaphorical lightbulb lit up over jort’s head. ba could see said lightbulb the way he always does when his batchmate has an idea. the lightbulb hasn’t been able to distinguish good ideas from bad ones yet, but there was hope for jort yet.

“ninety-one, you say?”

“yeah, ninety-one credits.”

“well nat’ika, i’ve got just the trick to help you out.”

the youngest was almost too busy preening at the term of endearment to realize that his ori’vod was indeed going to help him. ba helped snap him back to reality as jort found a stick, beginning his lesson in the felucian mud.

ba had to admit that this plan was not only kriffing insane, but extremely world-tilting if executed right. it was jedi-level insanity and he didn’t doubt for a second that his batchmate learned the trick from the general.

after running naturally through the trick two more times, he felt that his training was paying off. ba had made the point of jesse knowing if naturally was lying about the credits he had on him and they both nodded their agreement. the youngest pulled his credits from his pouch and counted out twenty-eight, dropping the rest of them into ba’s hand.

jort takes this as a cue to continue. “now remember, you have to let him work some of it out himself towards the end. if you did it right from the start, he’ll be thinkin’ like you the longer it goes on and he’ll fall right into your trap.” naturally is soaking in the information like a sanitation duty sponge, part of him still reeling from the fact he’s being given such attention by a superior.

“does this trick help you a lot?”

jort smiles at the question. “only when the total i’m weaseling out of is ninety-one.”

ba rolls his eyes and butts in, “you say that as if you don’t try your damndest to make the total ninety-one as much as possible.” jort playfully scoffs at the insinuation as ba turns to naturally and grins like a loth-cat, enjoying the laugh he earns almost a tad too much.

this kid was making him soft.

to be truthful, ba would have taken the rookie under his wing the same as jort was currently doing if given the chance to do so in his own time. they’ve discussed as much with fortune, who led oracle company, about snagging a company transfer for the bright-eyed brother. fortune was on board with the idea because he saw how the newer medic worked, the way vode lost the panic in their eyes while being treated by him. it was a valuable trait to have as a medic and even more valuable to the men who fell under his care.

footsteps were heard around them and jort quickly went to mess up the numbers written in the mud. he didn’t want his information being spread where he didn’t want it, and judging by the look on his vod’ika’s face, the man approaching was indeed jesse.

“you think you can do it?”

“i know i can.”

“good man! find me when you’re done!”

ba and jort departed as jesse neared, and naturally was on his own.

“hey, naturally! you owe me for that game!”

naturally moved a hand to his pouch and made a show of getting every credit out. he let them clink together in the outstretched palm of the man in blue. “here’s twenty-eight credits, i’ll see you later-“

“alright, i- wait just a minute! there were seven rounds, and you bet thirteen each time. that’s way more than a measly twenty-eight!”

“that comes out to twenty-eight, vod.”

jesse’s wondering whether this guy’s tube was cracked. this rookie medic owes him ninety-one credits! on what planet does thirteen times seven equal twenty-eight? “did you get dropped on your head as a cadet?”

naturally suppressed a grin. “not that i can recall.”

“do you mean to tell me that you can prove that thirteen times seven is twenty-eight?”

“it’s gotta be, i owe you twenty-right credits.”

“tell you what: if you can prove it, you can keep the credits. if you can’t, you’ll owe me double.”

naturally stiffens a little at the prospect of having to owe one hundred and eighty-two credits to the cogged man who doesn’t seem to be the type to forget things like this. but he has faith in himself and the trick jort taught him, so he agrees to the deal and grabs the stick from earlier and begins the trick.

“seven into twenty-eight’s gonna come out to thirteen, watch.”

naturally draws a large seven in the dirt, followed by a significantly smaller twenty-eight separated by a slash, then another slash on the other side of the twenty-eight.

“can seven go into two?”

“no it will not.”

“that’s a giant seven to fit into that little bitty two.”

“... yes it is.”

“but we’re not gonna hurt the little two, so i want you to hold onto it for me.”

naturally “grabbed” the two from where he drew it in the dirt and “placed” it into jesse’s outstretched palm. that was simple enough so far, but there was still so much farther he had to go before getting out of this mess.

jesse was going with it only because he wanted his credits. that’s the only reason he was entertaining the bullshit of this rookie medic.

“can seven go into eight?”

“once.”

“right, so i’m gonna put the one over here,” naturally drew a one next to the second slash. 

“now we’re gonna carry the seven, because it’s a big seven and it’s getting kinda heavy, and we’re gonna drop it down here below the eight.” as naturally speaks, jesse nods and follows along intently. “and seven from eight is?”

“one.” come on, jesse thought, i’m not that kriffin’ stupid.

“alright, now you’ve had that two long enough, give it here.” naturally holds his hand out for jesse to give him the two, and the older trooper isn’t sure as to why he’s playing into the little game this rookie’s got going but he “drops” the two into his palm nonetheless.

“you see that twenty-one? how many times can seven go into it?”

“three times.”

“so the three goes over here,” naturally continues as he draws a three into the dirt next to the one, “and look at that, thirteen.”

sure enough, there was now a thirteen drawn into the dirt next to the twenty-eight. jesse didn’t completely believe what he was looking at, much less the fact it made sense! he had to get more evidence, surely this wasn’t right.

“nah man, you’ve gotta prove it better than that if you expect me to believe that your math checks out.”

“alright, certainly.”

“you gotta multiply it.”

apparently there was still more to say and write if he wanted to save his head from being mounted on a five-oh-first bunk. thank the maker for jort’s extensive explanation or else naturally would have been screwed.

so he smeared away the numbers with a gloved hand, not bothering to care as to how it dirtied the leather, and continued on.

“let’s see here,” naturally mumbles to himself as he begins to draw in the dirt once again, tongue poking out between his teeth. a thirteen is now in the dirt with a seven below it, with a line under the seven. “okay. so we’ve got thirteen times seven. three times seven is?”

“twenty-one.”

“exactly, so we bring a twenty-one down. now one times seven is…”

“seven.”

naturally hums in agreement as he draws a seven below the one in twenty-one. “now twenty-one plus seven is-“

“twenty-eight.” jesse seems to be contemplating the lesson very hard, putting it side by side with everything he had been taught prior to then. it looked like it made sense, and his brain said it made sense, but to make him feel better he had to check it one more time.

“but now we gotta add it, just to be sure.”

“of course.”

this is where naturally sees if his hard work paid off, if jort’s lessons paid off. if he did his part good enough, then jesse would follow along and this would be easy peasy. most importantly though, he wouldn’t be bucket deep in debt to the trooper next to him.

smearing the mud one last time, he began to give jesse the final piece of the puzzle. “i’m gonna our down seven thirteens and add ‘em from there, alright?”

“alright.”

he puts the numbers down, one above another, and draws a line below the last. taking his stick, he begins to count by threes when the other man cuts him off halfway through. “no no no, let me do it this time!”

jesse starts to count by threes and ends on twenty-one, like he should, but also jort was sure to tell him that if he didn’t take over now that the plan was doomed to fail.

so in an effort to save his plan, naturally began pointing to the ones with his stick as he counted, “twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight!”

he spoke the numbers with confidence as he wrote the twenty-eight into the dirt, turning to give a dignified smirk to the cornflower painted trooper next to him.

jesse looked so lost and had no idea as to why this made a lick of sense, but had to concede that the young medic was right. to answer his earlier question, felucia is a planet where thirteen times seven is twenty-eight.

with a grin naturally collected the credits that had still been clutched in the other’s hand, stepping on the numbers casually enough to not raise suspicion as to why he was stepping on them. he was saved from a terrible fate and got to keep his money; it was a good night for naturally.

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

hello this isnt abt batfam or batman but i saw your age and was wondering how do i survive till 23? i am 18 now and 5 more years is very hard to survive please help

Interesting question. I turn 24 in ten days, and sometimes even I’m not sure. I guess I’ll talk about how I personally stayed alive this long before I try to give advice.

The very first thing I would say is that I am religious, and that worldview makes a difference. I don’t mean that in a “everything happens for a reason” kind of way, and as a matter of fact, I very much dislike that line of thinking. It does a lot of damage, and I’m aware that it rightly puts a lot of people off from religion in general. 

I hold two beliefs that I think are helpful in terms of survival. First, I believe that humans are by nature bad. Counterintuitive in this conversation? Stick with me. Every day, but especially at my lowest moments, I hate the things that I am. In a metaphorical sense, my mind whispers to me that I am selfish, that I am cowardly, that I think bad things and I am capable of worse. I’m hateful, I’m terrifying, and I am absolutely broken. At my core, there is something fundamentally wrong, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t fix it. 

I am disgusting. I’m several thousand evil things in a trench-coat pretending to be anything but myself, and I’m not fooling anyone. 

Well, yeah. Yeah, I’m all those things and more: manipulative, lying, self-obsessed, angry, unforgiving, and judgmental. I could, of course, go on.

Here’s the thing-- everybody is. I am no better and no worse than any other person in the universe, and though I am ever abhorrent thing, I am. I have the same dignity, the same worth, and the same life as any human anywhere. The dark things are part and parcel of my humanity, but although I am not good, I do good. 

I will never be perfect because that just isn’t possible, but I can be kind. I can be loving, I can be strong, and I can be wise. 

Shit, doesn’t that set me free?

There’s a lot more to this conversation, and the rest goes, in brief, like this: at the bottom of the darkness that is every soul, we have one great fear-- if I am truly evil, no one will ever love me. Good news on that front, there is a God who does. If that’s something you want to talk about, hey hit me up. I’ll evangelize on my own time. 

Back to it. My second belief is a kind of understanding about the passage of time, and it’s sort of hard to boil down into a few sentences, but I’ll try my best. I believe in a grand struggle between good and evil. I know the beginning of that struggle. I know the end of that struggle: that good will win. I am a part of the middle. 

I see my role in the universe as extraordinary small but absolutely necessary. I have a two-fold purpose-- love God, love humans. I interpret both as a call to help others in any way I can, and I think in the way my life has worked out so far, that’s really the most important thing keeping me alive. 

I see all of this through the frame of my religion, but I would argue that everything I’ve said so far is applicable outside of that frame, because a lot of folks get to the same place from a fully secular point of view. I cannot be perfect. I should care about and fight for other people. That’s really all we’re working from here. 

A few years back, when people asked me this question-- how do you stay alive?-- I used to answer “spite,” and that’s not untrue. I am a very angry person, and the grand majority of that anger is directed at what I perceive as unjust acts. I have a deep-seated hatred of establishments (including the established church), and you’d be shocked at how much of a motivator that can be. 

I grew up in an environment that was very intentional in teaching me to identify injustice. Though I have radically departed from many of the teachings of my childhood, the part about fighting for others was something I learned at day one, and that bit has stuck around. For the most part, I grew up in an environment where everyone was on the same page about it. 

And theeeeeeen I went to undergrad. Hello, Texas A&M. I hit campus as an 18 year old fully incapacitated by anxiety. I was the kind of person who didn’t-- in fact couldn’t-- speak in front of others. I had always lived my life in a way that minimized myself, because if I never spoke, if I never disagreed, if I never drew attention, I would never make anyone angry. I knew from experience that angry people hurt me, and I was afraid of pain. 

Then I experienced the absolute shenaniganry of conservative Texans. The culture shock sent me to space and back, and on the return trip I decided that I couldn’t be quiet anymore. 

I learned to speak my freshman year so that I could scream FUCK YOU. It was incredibly painful, and I can’t tell you exactly how I managed it other than I was angry, and I didn’t want to lose. 

I fought a similar battle on my homefront against parents that didn’t know how to deal with a daughter that disagreed, or even worse, a daughter that wasn’t okay. I wasn’t a perfect child anymore. I knew I had anxiety, I knew I was depressed, and we all knew who I blamed for that. They hadn’t been the perfect parents they thought they were. 

I found myself growing, little by little, into a person that could write and argue and hold her ground. That’s personal growth for sure, but it didn’t necessarily help my mental health. As a matter of fact, my health declined all through undergrad, and in my third and final year, I cracked.

I was desperate. I was isolated. I was flooded by fear and despair, and I was falling apart. I don’t remember huge chunks of undergrad because I was so depressed that the memories didn’t stick, but I do remember my tipping point.

It was something small. The ceiling fan in my bedroom was broken. The lighting chain worked fine, but if anyone pulled the fan chain, the whole thing would stop working. I mixed up which chain was which, pulled the wrong cord, and broke it for the fourth time. 

For some reason, that was it. I lay down on my floor and cried for an hour, and while I did, my mind went to, as the kids say, a dark place. Finally, I called my mom and begged for psychiatric medication, something I had always been afraid to ask for. At the time, my parents believed that antidepressants were overprescribed, and they mocked parents that let their children take them. 

At around the same time, I was deciding what to do with my life. I was about to graduate, and I had always wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. Instead, everyone in my life pushed me towards law school. I didn’t know what to do, but I began fantasizing, not about going to law school exactly, but about being the kind of person that could go to law school. 

I knew that law school would be entail public speaking and constant conflict and the kind of work that would be hard for a person who sometimes couldn’t leave her bed. I wanted to be someone who could do all of that, but I didn’t believe I was.

Enter Donald Trump. Post-November 2016, I struggled to understand how something like that could happen, and I watched everyone else deal with it too. I began confused, moved to distraught, then returned to what I always am: angry.

January 2017 was the inauguration and shortly afterwards, the “Muslim ban.” I read the news on my bedroom floor, and there was one specific part that stuck out to me. There were pictures of lawyers flooding the airports. There was a court case headed for SCOTUS.

I suddenly realized that one group-- one very select group-- was doing what I was powerless to accomplish. I hated establishments, and there was one group that could challenge and change them. Some people could fight in the way I wanted to, and those people were lawyers.

I have a very distinct memory of looking into the bathroom mirror of my third-year apartment and thinking, “I will be miserable for the rest of my life, no matter what I do or what career I pick. I might as well be a miserable lawyer.”

So I took my antidepressants and I went to law school. I’m not going to rehash everything that happened there in this particular post, because in this topic, I don’t think it matters. The relevant part is that I went, and I had my reason why.

Sure as hell can tell you that law school wasn’t good for my health. The last three years have been, in terms of sheer stress and despair, the worst of my life. I picked up a self-harm habit, endured consistent humiliation, cycled through six different antidepressants, had horrible relationships, and developed a psychotic disorder. Don’t get me wrong, there were good things too. I met people that are important me, and beyond that, I grew. 

I know that 18 year old me would be absolutely flabbergasted by the woman I am now, cracks and flaws included. I wouldn’t say I’m healthy or okay, but I am more healthy and more okay. I’m coming out of this mess with the institutional power I wanted, and now I get to decide what to do with it. 

I was wrong three years ago when I looked in that bathroom mirror. I know now that I won’t be miserable for the rest of my life. I’m going to be happy someday, and to the parts of me that say otherwise: fuck you. I’ve learned to say it now. 

I graduated law school this week, and this month, I’ve felt better than I ever have before. I’m singing again, I dropped two medications, and suddenly, everything is so, so funny. I’ve been laughing so hard my face hurts the day after. 

This is a huge turning point in my life, so I’ve been meditating on my past. I’ve come to the conclusion that in most of the ways that matter, I won. My family has been forced to accept what I am. I became the person I wanted to be, even though I thought I wasn’t capable of that. 

I know for sure that there will be times in my life where I hit rock bottom again, and that’s not gonna be fun. It’s likely that with my mental health issues, I will always have to work harder than my peers to get the same results. That’s unfair. 

I also know that high points exist, and I will have them. I am having them, and I will again. 

I guess in recap, I know that I have deep flaws and ugly parts, but I am at peace with that. I know that I must help others, and in pursuit of that goal, I became a person I like more than the girl I used to be. 

You have exactly the same potential. I want you to know that whatever you are now, that’s not your forever. Circumstances change, and you will change too. We’re human, you and I, and that’s an exciting thing to be. 

Your worth comes from your humanity itself, both evil and good, not the things you do or the fights you win. You never have to compare yourself to others because you are exactly the same as everybody else-- no better, but certainly no worse. You’re a person. That’s enough. 

I’m telling you all those things, and as advice, I’ll say this: get angry and fight. Fight for others. You can help them, and you should. Fight for yourself. You are worthy of respect, and everyone else should give it to you. Fight yourself. Any part of you that preaches despair is wrong. 

Find the thing that makes you angry and use it. Things are fucked up! There’s a lot to be angry about. I put it this way to my classmates, now my attorney peers: you get one hill to die on. What’s your hill? Go and defend it. 

Here’s an interesting thing, anon. Your hill can be yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that. You’re right. Five years is a lot, and all the years beyond that are more. Take your antidepressants and go.

[yikeswtfmate]

I’ll hold you to that

Summary: There’s a new message from a stranger in her DMs, but what does he want from her and why exactly is he so freaking cute?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (College AU)

Warnings: swearing; that should be it, I think?

A/N: This is the second fic in two days, who even am I? What am I even doing? What is happening?! My only excuse is that I’ve started this like 2 months ago and only now got round to finishing it so...enjoy?

This might need a second part though, I feel like I need some college dorkiness in my life rn

Also, do some text and ig messages count as making this a social media au? Probably not, since I was too lazy to do that format with the apps and all that?

masterlist // Watermelon Sugar - another part

Natasha is lying on her friend’s bed, furiously typing away at her phone. The chime of incoming messages is constant and it is starting to drive Y/N up the wall.

“You could do this in your room as well, you know.” Turning in her desk chair, ready to start going off on the redhead, Y/N is cut short by a long suffering sigh. “What’s wrong now?” She knows that if she ignores Nat now, she would only get more annoying, which in turn would leave her no chance of finishing studying for the night.

“I’m talking with the people in my group, trying to prepare for the mock trial next month and there’s this guy who is completely infuriating!” Nat spats and lets out another groan, as her fingers fly across the screen. “He says that we should stop defending the CFO and try and get a settlement because it’s obvious he actually did indeed commit fraud. How are we supposed to make a case and win when he’s completely disregarding everything we’ve studied this semester? Of course the prick committed fraud, but we still have to make the case for him, this is the fucking assignment, you pompous asshole.”

“Yeah, babe, I have no idea what you’re saying there, but go you! Down with Wall Street or whatever, but I still need to study for this management exam, so it would be great if you could kindly fuck off to your room?” Y/N smiles at Nat, who finally looks up at her and sighs.

“Fine. I’ll let you study for your stupid exam, but you still need to reply to that cute guy like you promised.”

“Remind me again, why am I supposed to do that?”

“Because you promised, you ass! And your sex life is shit so Wands and I reckon if you get laid, you’ll stop being so stuck up about school.” It’s Nat’s turn to smile sweetly at Y/N, who throws a pen at her retreating form.

“Why are you guys like this?!”

“We both have unresolved daddy issues, now get on with it or I’ll send Wanda in here.”

Y/N sighs heavily and slumps in her chair. She glances at her charging phone on the desk and tentatively picks it up. She unlocks it, a picture of her and her roommates popping up on the screen and the notification is still there. Still taunting her, still adding fuel to her friends’ pestering.

They have looked through his page, of course. They have looked at all the pictures with his friends, some of them recognisable from the halls of college, all the pictures of him in various cafes, restaurants, bars, gyms, but the picture she still comes back to is the one with him at the beach. Wayfarers perched on the bridge of his nose, ruffled hair in the wind, and that tan that stretches from the set shoulders to the prominent six pack (although the bottle of beer in his hand makes those abs so unfair to believe exist) to the firm thighs. She has looked through all of his pictures, analysing every detail and description, still wondering how in the hell she managed to catch his attention enough to grant her a message from him. And then she would go on her profile, filled with pictures from the dance studio, her coffee filled all-nighters in the library, and fair enough, there is that picture of her at the pool where her bum looks just right and she could get why in a sense, but what the hell, look at that guy!

Her fingers still hover over the notification indecisively, when the group chat pops up on her screen.

Wands: do it, bitch

Y/N: I was just getting myself ready!!!!

Wands: u’re a clown

Wands: JUST DO IT

Y/N: why must you attack me like this

Nat: I’m interrupting my fight with that idiot to send you this very important message

Nat: do it, bitch

Y/N: I hate you both

Y/N finally taps on the notification and there - in all its glory there is one simple message that has been giving her a headache since the previous night. Granted, she was a bit drunk on wine, and the shriek she let out when she saw the blinking notification made her toss her phone to the other side of the couch. Wanda picked it up and looked at it confused, while Natasha slumped on the couch in order to see over her shoulder. They both whistled at the same time, which was disturbing in and of itself, thinking how alike all of their mannerisms have become since they became roommates two years prior.

She takes a big breath that does nothing to relieve her nerves, and biting her lip, she finally opens the app to her messages.

JamesBBarnes: Hey

Huh. Funny how such a little greeting makes her tap her leg unconsciously to the point that their downstairs neighbours will be complaining at their door soon. She closes her eyes for a second, shakes her head and mutters a 'what the hell.'

Y/Nwhatthehell: Hi

Now that this obstacle is over, Y/N idly wonders what made her so flustered. He's just a guy who happened to send her a message after following her on Instagram. There's nothing weird about it, is it? They're both attending the same university, she's fairly sure one of his friends is actually the guy Natasha is currently fighting with on that project of theirs. Maybe he just wants to be friendly, maybe he needs some management information for one of his mock trials. Who even knows, so what is she so stressed about? With a huff, she throws her phone away, determined to finish the chapter opened in front of her and relax for the rest of the evening.

She's in the middle of writing the last note on employee engagement, when a ping from her bed startles her into dropping her pen. She turns cautiously, as if sudden movements would force Aragog crawling out of the device, but decides she's being stupid again so she stands up and nearly lunges on the sheets.

As confusion is written all over her face after reading the first line in the notifications bar, she opens the app and stares at the screen.

JamesBBarnes: Listen, I know this might sound weird, but could you ask your friend to stop fighting with Steve? I'm trying to study over here and he's been throwing stuff around since yesterday saying something about a redhead girl who's hijacking his trial just bc she wants to prove a point

She doesn't know what she was expecting, but it's definitely not this. Is that disappointment she feels for hyping herself up just so he can ask this type of nonsense of her? Maybe, but maybe she just feels a little silly for having thought this guy would hit on her on Instagram. She sighs and replies to him, now annoyed with herself more than anything.

Y/Nwhatthehell: why didn't you just send her a message?

JamesBBarnes: From what I've heard about this Natasha, you seemed like the more reasonable one

The reply is swift, and makes her smile. Nat can be a bit too much if not handled with care, especially when it comes to group work. However, Y/N now has what seems like a million questions, and she’s even more confused than a few minutes ago.

Y/Nwhatthehell: how did you even find my IG anyway?

JamesBBarnes: oh Steve has a huge crush on Natasha and we were all forced to go through her every single photo and hear about how amazing she is every single day since the beginning of the year

JamesBBarnes: but maybe don't tell her that 

JamesBBarnes: you know what, screw that. You can even show her that msg, the punk will never be man enough to tell her himself, might as well get my revenge for all the days I've been forced to listen to him go on and on abt her

She takes a second to read the messages again, when a howl of laughter bursts out of her chest. She had an inkling this was the case, from the way Steve has suspiciously been assigned to every single group project Nat had since September. And Y/N could bet his feelings weren't unrequited, for all the hissy fits Natasha has been throwing about him lately.

Y/Nwhatthehell: what if i tell you he might get what he wants if i tell her that?

Y/Nwhathehell: would you be able to put up with him when he's in a relationship with her? He's probs gonna be 10x worse

JamesBBarnes: oh shit u're right 

JamesBBarnes: fuck it, might as well get it over with. At least he'll stop moping every time she calls him an idiot 

Y/Nwhatthehell: you make a very compelling case, James. Studying law must have its benefits...you know, like having strong well rounded arguments

JamesBBarnes: my arguments would make more sense if i would be allowed to study ya know 

JamesBBarnes: and it's Bucky 

Y/Nwhatthehell: ?

JamesBBarnes: my friends call me Bucky 

Y/Nwhathehell: so we're friends now, are we?

Y/N can't stop the feeling of giddiness that starts to inflate through her chest. She might not have gotten the flirtatious messages she was expecting, but this seems somehow better. More real.

JamesBBarnes: if we're playing matchmakers for our friends, might as well be, don't you think?

Y/Nwhatthehell: i think i'll need a stronger argument than that in order to help you

JamesBBarnes: tell you what. I'll buy you a coffee and a pizza if you help me with those two 

Y/Nwhatthehell: coffee and pizza? A man after my own heart

She wonders for a second if that comment will freak him out, but hangs her head with a grin that splits her face when she sees his reply.

JamesBBarnes: only for you babe 

Bucky stares at the screen, unable to process what he just sent. He likes this girl, likes how his first impression after seeing her profile hasn't changed after starting to talk to her. He knows how easy it is to lie away your life on social media, and he can admit he's more than excited that she seems as wholesome and funny through text, and not only through pictures. Following her and sending her that message yesterday was his genuine desperation at trying to do something, anything really to make Steve stop, but he didn't expect to actually want to keep talking to her. He really hopes he hasn't messed up anything, when 'Typing...' keeps appearing and disappearing.

Y/Nwhatthehell: i'll hold you to that, babe

[professorspork]

ANOTHER BUSY DAY IN THE ANDROMEDA GALAXY

I started the day running errands on Havarl, culminating with finishing off Jaal’s loyalty mission! I took Vetra with us thinking ‘hey, if anyone knows sibling dynamics...’ but then she factored into all of that absolutely 0%, lol @ me. but no matter! Jaal was super flirty as we made our way to the Forge, and it was adorable when he was like “HERE MEET MY FRIEND SO YOU CAN SEE AKKSUL IS WRONG” and bodily dragged me toward his siblings. their fight was absorbing and intense; I LEGIT GASPED WHEN HIS SISTER SHOT HIS BROTHER. LIKE!! the whole confrontation with Akksul felt super weighty and I really enjoyed it-- keeping my trigger discipline to not shoot that dude was really hard! there was a split second there where his bolt was headed toward Jaal’s face and I was like “if I kill off Jaal in his loyalty mission I’ll be so upset” but nope it all worked out, he has a bitchin cheek scar now, and the respect of his people, and I got a forehead touch so y’know. i melted. GOSH. then I died laughing at Akksul’s not-apology email.

now Jaal wants me to meet his mom(s) but Helen said that’ll lock in the romance, so I’ll probably wait just a little longer so I can uh keep having FWB sex with Peebee and ?maybe??? flirt with Vetra at some point? altho I teasingly called her MOM last time we were in Kadara Port so maybe not. (Jaal still hates it there, he’s so grumpy and it’s cute, but I digress)

this one got even longer than usual so doing a cut

one thing that I really like, that the game navigates in interesting ways, is that to the angara, we’re all just “Milky Way people.” like. so much of the original trilogy is about navigating the differences between all these aliens, and like, some of that is here too, esp with the krogan, but it’s actually really neat the way we’ve flattened out. and even with the krogan it’s still night and day-- like. comparing what Tuchanka is like in ME2 when Wrex is still solidifying his status as warlord is miles away from what it’s like for me to wander around New Tuchanka or, especially, just run into random krogan out and about (like the nice water scouts. WHY COULDN’T I JUST GIVE THEM THE WATER? but I’m getting ahead of myself). I know some of it has the Watsonian explanation of, like, only forward-thinking, open-minded krogan would be interested in the Initiative in the first place, and some of it is the Doylist explanation of ‘well people really liked that Charr/Ereba romance so let’s have more sweetie pie krogan’ but like. overall. it’s interesting, and I’m sure there’s more angles I haven’t considered.

I traced more of those comm buoys for Addison and learned that the doctor she’s obsessed with ran away to get pregnant! I definitely read that whole situation as Addison being in love with this lady and tbh it still doesn’t refute it? but I won’t get any more progress until I make a new outpost. the whole idea of ‘the first human baby born in Heleus’ thing is really cool, though, and I’m invested.

then I went to Elaaden! I feel some kind of way about Lexi diagnosing all of these scavengers with Brain Disease, but I can’t put my finger on it exactly-- other than, I guess, my general discomfort with pathologizing criminality. I was glad she said we couldn’t vaccinate people without their consent, but the whole thing smacks as very... self-conscious on the part of the game creators? like they thought people would say “hey it’s a huge plot hole that the Initiative screened every person before putting them on the arks and yet so many of them do crimes, explain that to me” and they were like “oh yeah shit that makes no sense, it’s not like people faced with the existential crisis of being in a brand new place 600 years away from everything they’ve ever known with no way back and not enough resources and multiple things wanting to kill them might just make desperate, risky choices, that’s not good enough, obviously we need to explain it with BRAIN DISEASE.” come on.

I made it to New Tuchanka, where the postings on the terminals are literally my favorite part of this whole game. THE ONE KROGAN WHO WANTS GINGERBREAD. THE ONE WHO DOESN’T WANT TO FOCUS ON CONS AND SUGGESTS A “PRO-VERSATION.” THE ONE ABOUT THE “PROBLETUNITY” OF MATING SUGGESTING WATCHING KRANTT HARDLY WAIT. THE ONE WHO INVENTED BLOOD RAGE FOR GUN TURRETS. but also, the best one, my favorite one of all: KRANTT THE RAGENING LARP. there is nothing I would not give to play Krantt: The Ragening.

I sort of tripped and fell and decided to finish Drack’s loyalty mission even though I intended to do more Elaaden things first, and that was a blast. Vorn is so presh! and also Drack is my dad so there’s that. I loved that Vorn helped save the day with a poison vegetable, and I love that Kesh pretended not to like the flower he got her. it was like-- okay. real talk, I just spent like 20 minutes trying to find proof that there is, in fact, a scene in parks and rec where someone gives April a friendship bracelet and she pretended to hate it until they threatened to take it back and could not find it ANYWHERE and felt so gaslit until I realized that that scene was not about April at all but Louise Belcher so. GOOD JOB ME. anyway. it was like that. kesh pretending her comm was broken when Tann tried to talk to her is the oldest joke in the book but I laughed anyway. 

and then I TOOK SPENDER DOWN FOR GOOD. I’m a little miffed that neither Kesh nor Tann got to be in on that discussion; like, I recognize he was Addison’s underling but given all the bullshit he pulled with the krogan I especially felt Kesh deserved to be there? at one point there was a dialogue tree where I could either say it was Addison’s fault or Spender’s fault, and I picked the latter because I think they both such but Spender sucks worse, but in hindsight I wish I’d stuck it to Addison more because my dialogue was way too nice. when faced with the choice of jailing or exiling Spender, I picked jail despite my desire to defund Nexus Militia because I was scared if I exiled him he’d just come back as a worse enemy because of all his off-station contacts. when reviewing the choice in the codex, though, it narrativized my choice by saying I imprisoned him knowing he “would never survive life on the run from his former associates.” that wasn’t my assumption at all! quite the opposite! I jailed him thinking he’d start a coup from without if I didn’t, and it’s really interesting to me that the game isn’t framing that as a concern Ryder would have reasonably had. anyway, now Brecka has his job, which is good because Brecka is the best.

before leaving I unlocked my last memory, and SURPRISE MY MOM IS ALIVE. WELL. FOR A GIVEN DEFINITION OF ALIVE. i don’t know why I’m surprised; of course my dad sucked that much. but also, the fact that all of that got nestled in with the reaper ‘reveal’ (if you can call it that) felt... very strange? like. this is such a personal, emotional thing for Ryder. obviously for the player harkening back to the trilogy is supposed to be a gut wrench, and objectively, yes, I can see how the knowledge that they might have narrowly escaped certain death is a big deal, but like. the reapers aren’t HERE. they aren’t relevant. my MOM, on the other hand, is and is, apparently! it’s occurring to me I didn’t even try to find her mis-labeled pod, I was so turned around by all the benefactor stuff after the fact. anyway.

swung by Kadara to get drinks with Drack and had an epic bar fight, and then Lexi p much lectured us both abt it because Drack is like 90% spit and duct tape at this point. him talking about raising Kesh giving him a new lease on life was VERY sweet, tho, and his line about how parents aren’t the finish line, they’re the starting line was very good.

went back to Elaaden, which Jaal called “a big planet” while discussing hunting someone down and AU CONTRAIRE, JAAL, IT IS A MOON. wish I’d had Drack with me when I found Annea’s water because I bet he would have had better dialogue than Cora, but alas. felt very weird giving control of the reservoir to the Nexus, but like. Annea being like “you can’t, this is my emotional support monopoly on a vital natural resource” just wasn’t gonna fly with how I’m playing Ryder. I was gratified to hear the Nexus guy at Paradise say we were giving the water to everyone, including krogan and scavengers, because I 100% did not trust Tann not to overrule him with some shitty call.

then I went to the Remnant ship to stop Morda from making a bomb out of the drive core, and it was all going swimmingly until I traced the signal to that cave inside the flophouse and suddenly my triangle button stopped working, making me unable to activate the console. YIKES. a quick google of the issue tells me that this mission is buggy for a lot of people and reloading from an earlier save tends to help, but I tried that and the issue persisted so I gave up for the evening. hopefully a fresh start tomorrow and time for the ps4 to cool off is all that is required. 

[eagesoldartblog]

Not sure if you remember but you reblogged a post a while back (and tagged it #antagonist au if that helps) and talked in the tags abt Lewis trying and failing to be a villain and like. I'd love to hear more abt that

Ay! So fun fact! I accidentally mish-mashed a bunch of aus together so have fun~ 

EDIT: ALSO! Please be sure to check out the tags for the Trigger warnings!

Antagonistic Lewis 

I can be a villain, Lewis reassures himself, taking quick, long paces as he circled the dark, Stoney room. You’ve done this plenty of times before! Sure that was on stage, everyone knew their part- but you can do this…!

If he still had a neck, a throat, he’d be gulping back his worry. But unfortunately that form of him hardly came up and right now, he wasn’t sure how to deal with the ordeal that would have been needed to bring up his face. 

Unless. Lewis pauses for just a moment, eyes snapping over to a chair in the middle of the room. Well, not just a chair, it just so happened to be holding the very man who forced Lewis into a position such as this. Killed him, snatched a life of opportunity away. If it was to show him, then maybe. Maybe he could shove aside the swamped feeling of despair, inturn for the reward of watching his killers face becomes contorting with the knowledge that his victim was back. Then Arthur would know. He would be able to comprehend just how serious he was.

Bitterness almost drips from the ceiling and clings to his clothes and skull like glue, fueling his thoughts to spiral and grow restless and angry, how He wanted to be a father and have a family, Kingsmen. A family where you were in it.

His fist tightens, glare honing in so much he could see the hairs on the back of Arthurs neck stand on end. How his shoulders shake and tremble and rise with shallow breaths. Earlier Lewis had been worried he had restrained too tight. But now? Lewis wanted to grab the knotted ends of the rope, and pull and pull until he could watch Arthur’s organs come up his throat. 

No. No… not yet. Lewis hisses to himself, shoving his rage and making it subside into something more manageable. Disdain. Sure, annoyance and hatred threatened to climb up his body and consume him entirely in a sheet of flame. Flash out and have the roar echo against the walls. But he forced himself to stay silent, calm. It was better to keep his bitterness hidden for now.

Not yet. Lewis reminds himself, echoing it through his head like a mantra and Lewis takes slow, careful steps. Relishing the click, click, click of his heels. Each one marking the smallest jolt in his captives’ shoulders, who slowly began to sir.

Wait until he was conscious. And show him the true meaning of fear.

Lewis’s smile stretches across his cheeks, listening to the smallest moan creeping out of Arthurs mouth. Able to watch that peaceful expression become one of confusion, disbelief, and slowly blink to awakeness. Lewis could almost commend himself on the dramatic timing, because just as Arthur lifted his head, he gasps, eyes snapping up to meet his expression. Fear and confusion taking hold of his body, covering his face like a rat stuck in a trap.

It fills Lewis with a glee so immense he could giggle with delight. Jitteriness taking hold of his entire body.

”Good evening, Arthur,” He hums, unable to make out the euphoric feeling of finally being able to speak these words for real now. No more reciting, no more imagining. Arthurs racing heartbeat was real and Lewis could feel its pound in every part of their small room, ”I’m so glad we could finally meet in person. No more running away, hiding away in that van of yours,” Oh yes, Arthur will pay handsomely, one for taking away his life and spitting on it with the pathetic excuse of a search, and two, for wasting all of his precious time. 

His smile tightens, teeth grinding and straining against his jaw. The noise grinding into his ears and making his body nearly convulse. Had he cared just a bit more for himself and his bony form, he would have paid it more mind. 

Instead. 

SLAM. Arthur screams, jerking his body like he was trying to leap away, only to be bound by the tight ropes around his chest and the hand gripping his shoulder. The fist- had it been lacking a glove- would be noticeably growing red. Knuckles would have bulged out from his skin. And if Lewis was being serious, he wouldn’t doubt it if the bone ripped through. That’s just how anger was. 

And, just like how he imagined, so many times before, it hurt.

When he grabbed it, Arthur had most likely gasped, tried to wriggle out. Now his shoulder was clamped to the chair and Lewis was inches away from his face. Unable to properly examine how Arthurs eyes snap from him to his shoulder, make out how he desperately tries to push and wriggle his arm out. So much that he slams his elbow against the chair to force it out. But to no avail.

Now to deliver his next lines, ”You know, I was thinking of how I should kill you ever since you trespassed onto my property.” he made sure to whisper, low and soft, to drive home just how little he cared, as if being quiet would show this despicable man how serious lewis is. 

His grip tightens. ”I’ve been imagining every possible death I could bestow upon you. Should it be the way I died? Should it be in a bathtub?” As he speaks, his hand latches to Arthurs chin and jerks his head to the side. The room shifted, morphed, the walls opening up and staining with water-damaged wallpaper. A single tub, covered in rust standing at the furthest wall. 

Drops of tears hit Lewis’s fingers, snatching his attention down before directing his gaze to Arthur’s face- his eyes were wide and his neck strains, breath coming out in shallow, panicky breaths. The severity of the situation finally hitting him. 

To think, Suddenly, A voice in the back of Lewis’s head whispers, you had to save him from many of these types of situations before.

…Huh? 

Lewis couldn’t help but blink, eyebrows screwing together as his mind suddenly freezes. Frozen- not like he’s been hit by a bullet, but instead watching a travesty occur and being unable to process any of it. And for a moment, Lewis can’t help but be shocked at the tone of it. Indifference? Boredom? Ple-

“P-please stop it-” Arthur chokes out. His eyes squinting shut as tears fill his eyes and begin to drip, rolling down his cheeks and- and suddenly Lewis’s thoughts stall. His plan, his- his script jumbled and losing itself in a wave of confusion and- 

What is he doing? Why are they there- ”Why should I? I’m dead, don’t you remember?”

Arthur throws his shoulder again. But to no avail. His eyebrows twist up, and he looks up at Lewis once more and a pleading look is all that Lewis can make out. Except instead of filling Lewis with rage, it throws him further into the murky depths of confusion. Is-is he seeing this right now? Why- 

He didn’t even notice, but his grip loosened. So much so that Lewis took a step back- floated away and he could barely make out his hand simply dangling there.

“I just- I just want to find my fr-friend.” Arthur chokes out, more tears rolling down his face as he dissolves into that awkward shuddery sob. Unable to breathe but with so much trying to leap out of your throat and there’s nothing else you can do to lock it up. 

It was… pathetic. Horribly pathetic. But- … 

Lewis shakes his head, reminding himself that there was no way this bastard is being honest! He lied for years- excellently crafted a lie beyond any logic that ultimately ended in shoving him off a cliff and to his doom- 

And he continues to lie? Even- even fucking now? 

But Arthur doesn’t stop crying, his shoulders shaking and the rest of his body beginning to tremble. The only thing preventing him from slumping over and really seal the deal of his supposive despair was the rope that Lewis was now seriously regretting.

…What was he thinking? Lewis demands of himself, tearing through his thoughts as he circles the side of Arthur and his fingers lace the ridges of the rope. 

”H-hey, I’m sorry, Arthur.. I didn’t mean to- fuck- I shouldn’t have done that-” He stumbles over his words, fumbling with the intonation, as well as whether or not he had the right to even apologize for- for kidnapping him! For threatening him with death-! Lewis should be ashamed of his actions. The rope unravels, and disintegrates. Arthur brings up his arms slowly, eyeing his palms in shock before he’s up and standing and turning to Lewis. Distrust covering his face as he backs away like a frightened cat and almost pressing himself against the wall behind him. 

Lewis, wasn’t exactly sure how to respond. Something about this scenario was off, it was wrong, and he couldn’t tell what exactly it was. Perhaps it was just the guilt that was already beginning to swell. 

He- he’s seen this before, hasn’t he? Lewis could only recall a faint image- when they were much younger. Lewis was trying to practice for his role in a play, and Arthur had come over to help. 

Lewis was a villain, and they were dangerous. He was dangerous. He only- took out his frustration through his roles.. And… 

Lewis faintly could remember the scream. Arthur begging him to stop because he was hurt.

How did Arthur ever forgive him for breaking his arm-?

“Wh-here’s the exit?” Arthur asked, his voice wavers and Lewis is once again forced to see the sorrow etched into his exhausted face, and Lewis had to remind himself that things were different now. He- 

Silencing his thoughts, shooing away the memories, Lewis sighs and nods to the door just a yard away from Arthurs feet, keeping his head down. ”Down the hall, then take a left and go up some stairs, the exit will be on your left.” 

He flicks his wrist, and several deadbeats fizz into existence, ”here, they’ll guide you out-

Click

BANG!

There’s an explosion. One that rocks through the room, and tears into him. Somehow Lewis was still standing, but that could have been the shock, as his eyes flicker down and peer at his chest… and make out.. A hole.

A small one, barely big enough to chip anything major- being his anchor and ribs- but… a hole. That’s for sure. 

Lewis blinks, slowly raising his gaze and…. Only able to make out… 

Arthur. Has a gun. A gun that is pointed directly at him now. Smoking lightly and shaking even more. Matching the look of complete, utter terror on his face. 

”Ar-”

Another bang, but this time Lewis was plunged into a world of black.

[cattivc]

𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐣𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 , 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲-𝐨𝐧𝐞 , 𝐬𝐡𝐞 / 𝐡𝐞𝐫 , 𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 ——— i just saw 𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐀 𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐎 walk out of the 𝐊𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐀 𝐊𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐀 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐌𝐀 , that she is a 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑 for . as far as i know , her 𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐂 scholarship got them out of 𝐁𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐍 , 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐒 and into the 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐔𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 major in kingshill . her sisters always say that 𝐈𝐂𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐆𝐀𝐙𝐄𝐒 , 𝐔𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐒 & 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐒 can describe the 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐑 year student , and i can see that , since the last blast totally described them as + 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐒 & + 𝐕𝐄𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 . though , i heard them blasting 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇 by 𝐁𝐄𝐀 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑 , so i totally believe they’re hiding the fact that she is - 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 & - 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐃 as well .

get  in ,  sugar  !  i’m  char  &  you’re  looking  absolutely  STUNNING tonight  !  wanna  go  for  a  ride  that  is  miss  caterina  trevisano ?

𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞  :  caterina  ilaria  trevisano 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬  :  cat  ( lit  the  only  way  she  allows  ppl  to  address  her ) 𝐚𝐠𝐞  :  twenty - one 𝐳𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐜 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧  :  aries 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧  :  bisexual  /  biromantic  ;  doesn’t  have  much  of  a preference  ...  other  than  ...  y’know  ...  being  able  to  handle  her  ? 𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐬  :  the  rebel  /  the  intangible  concept  /  the  fervour  /  the  reticent  /  the  sybarite 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨 :  people  -  the  1975  /  i  hate  everybody  -  halsey  /  confessions  of  a  dangerous  mind  -  logic  /  st.  percy  -  brockhampton  /  why  do  you  love  me  -  charlotte  lawrence  /  broke  bitch  -  tiny  meat  gang  /  GUESS  WHAT  -  russ  /  miracle  man  -  oliver  tree  /  on  track  -  tame  impala  /  dang!  -  mac  miller

---. 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏.

being  born  to  a  couple  of  italian  programmers ,  adriano  &  alessia ,   didn’t  exactly  mean  that  caterina  would  have  a  princess - like  childhood.  instead  of  playing  dress - up  and  thinking  about  which  barbie  doll  she’d  take  to  the  kindergarten  that  day ,  the  girl  was  stuck  simply  watching  her  parents  as  they  planned  their  next  move  towards  money  and  glory  or  reading  the  numerous  books  about  computing.

though ,  as  they  say ,  patience  always  pays  off  -  and  eventually ,  the  trevisanos  snatched  the  jackpot  by  starting  up  a  online  back - up  company  ( think  like  ...  carbonite  inc  ? ) ,  which  made  things  skyrocket  for  the  fam.

by  the  age  of  11 ,  the  trevisanos  had  everything  they’d  been  working  for  -  from  the  house  that  made  every  one  of  their  neighbours  jealous  to  the  opportunities  to  become  friends  with  people  in  the  highest  of  places.  caterina’s  parents  were  able  to  keep  their  heads  straight ,  whereas  the  little  girl  could  not.  her  ability  to  get  everything  within  a  blink  of  an  eye  completely  messed  with  her  head ,  turning  her  from  a  kind - hearted  girl  to   someone  spoiled  and  cold.

originally ,  her  parents  thought  that  it  all  was  a  “ phase ”  and  everything  would  go  back  to  normal  in  a  matter  of  weeks  ( months ,  maybe ) ,  however ,  the  crazier  caterina’s  act  got ,  the  more  their  patience  was  tested ,  and  as  soon  as  she  got  to  high  school ,  they  cut  off  her  allowance ,  saying  that  they  would  gradually  give  it  back  to  her  if  they  see  the  change  in  her  -  by  change  meaning  that  they  would  see  her  actually  try  to  become  a  better  person ,   not  just  act  like  that.

as  much  as  she  didn’t  like  that  idea ,  cat  knew  that  it  was  easier  to  play  by  her  parents’  rules ,  at  least  while  she  lives  under  their  roof.  she  successfully  tried  out  with  the  diving  team ,  willingly  signed  up  for  volunteering  at  the  animal  shelter ,  started  tutoring  -   literally  done  as  much  as  she  could  to  appear  better  in  her  parents’  eyes.  though ,  in  reality ,  she  got  bored  of  diving  in ,  like ,  3  weeks ,  faked  an  injury  and  quit ;  stopped  tutoring  after  3  months  using  the ,  “ oh ,  my  schedule  is  so  full ,  i’m  sorry ! ”  excuse  &  volunteering  ...  well ,  there  really  was  no  way  around  it.  besides ,  she  liked  that.

caterina’s  impatience  really  didn’t  help  her  since  her  parents  were  quick  to  notice  that  she  lost  interest  in  her  activities  very  quickly ,  so  they  kind  of  let  her  go  on  that  one  and  started  bugging  her  about  another  thing  -  a  scholarship.  in  order  to  prove  her  parents  wrong ,  caterina  was  determined  to  get  the  scholarship  on  her  own. her  relationship  w/  the  parents  was  already  strained  due  to  the  years  of  differences  in  their  interests  and  her  future ,  so  really  all  she  wanted  was  to  get  into  some  school  on  her  own  and  rub  it  in  their  faces.  then  she’d  get  money  from  her  trust  fund  and  move  away  from  the  constant  pressure  and  all  that  jazzzzzzz

knowing  their  daughter ,  adriano  and  alessia  offered  to  “ help ”  their  daughter  ( “  the  politician  ”  vibes ! ) ,  and  unnaturally  for  her ,  caterina  refused.  but  honestly ,  do  you  think  they  listened ?  HELL  NAW

---. 𝒕𝒊𝒅 𝒃𝒊𝒕𝒔

she  is  a  heavy  smoker.  doesn’t  do  drugs ,  very  rarely  drinks ,  but  she  smokes  a  lot  -  marboro  reds  are  her  poison  of  choice ,  to  be  exact.  when  asked  as  to  why  she  is  doing  this  to  her  body ,  the  response  is  something  along  the  lines  of  “ i’m  pissed  of  99  percent  of  the  time ,  and  having  five  minutes  to  myself  helps  tremendously ” .

is  a  GOD  DAMNED  slytherin ,  like  no  joke.  allows  herself  to  talk  shit  abt  others  without  even  noticing  so.

10/10  friend ,  loves  her  sisters  as  if  they  are  actually  her  relatives.  will  ABSOLUTELY  cuss  you  out  for  looking  the  wrong  way  @  them.

the  most  important  thing  abt  cat  tho ... her  parents  bought  her  a  way  into  a  uni  not  because  of  the  fact  that  she  isn’t  smart ;  she  is smarter  than  she  appears  to  be  (  i  mean ,  the  girl  truly  wants  to  become  the  next  bill  gates  -  that  is  ambitious ,  to  say  the  least) ,  but  her  impatient  nature  doesn’t  allow  her  to  fully  immerse  herself  in  her  “ interests ”  &  computing  is  where  she’ll  eventually  be  able  to  build  a  name  for  herself  thanks  to  all  the  connections  her  parents  have.

---. 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

lis ten. ..... i  am  open  to  as  much  havoc  as  there  is  ...  you  need  a  scape  goat  ?  an  enemy  ?  a  hook - up ?  cat  is  ur  girl  !

[axther]

(1/2) Ghost Anon: May I get a bnha matchup? I’m Vicente, a 4’11” pan trans-guy, who’s 18 years old and in college for art! I adore cats, halloween, video games, & death metal! My MBTI is INFP-T! I have trouble befriending others irl because I’m MAD standoffish & have an abrasive personality but for those I‘m close to I do whatever I can to cheer em up when they’re down! I have history with martial arts (abt 5/6 years) I LOVE sparring and get a thrill from fakin people out and landin a solid hit!

fuckkkk I’m sorry this is late… I am one (1) dumbass. Also under the cut for length bc I kept on deleting it and starting over and before I knew it the first matchup was four pages long (in the end it was 9 pages long)

#1 is…Tamaki! 

Okay so!!! 

We all know that Tamaki freaks out easily 

And let’s say there’s a meetup for young, promising students

Mirio and Neijre are thriving 

But Tamaki is stuck in a corner trying to not get noticed

 He’s panicking 

And then he sees you from across the room 

You look pissed as all hell 

Crossing your arms and watching three other students brag about their exploits 

He notices that you look like your gradually getting more and more annoyed 

Eventually, you huff and walk away, and Tamaki realises that you’ve got something perched on your shoulder

 He takes a bit of a look and sees that it’s a skeletal cat, walking back and forth and clearly agitated. 

You sit on a chair at one of the semi-fancy, plastic tablecloth tables, about two feet away from Tamaki 

He’s clearly ‘??’ and nervous as hell that he pissed you off

until you start talking 

‘What’re you doin’?’ 

Tamaki’s confused as all get out 

And it’s clear that he’s promptly terrified 

Until you glance at him out of the corner of your eyes 

And the cat is staring at him with hollow eye sockets, tilting its head 

And you say ‘You look lonely.’ 

Tamaki flushes bright red 

You noticed him??? 

Did he do something obvious? 

Was he pissing you off?

Did lonely people piss you off?

Did he make you feel bad???

You shrug at his silence, and though he can’t see it, you’re kinda hurt 

It’s not like you want to actually scare anybody (besides villains). 

So imagine your surprise when he manages to pipe up 

‘Wh-wh-what’s your…quirk…?’ 

It’s less than a whisper, but you catch it, and you look over with a raised eyebrow 

‘Death.’ You look away. ‘Psychopomp. Angel of Death. Grim Reaper. Whatever you wan’ to call it.’ 

Tamaki baulks 

He didn’t even know that quirks that severe existed

You’re kinda staring in the opposite direction and he can tell that his silence is definitely not helping 

But he’s almost in awe 

He’s heard of people with quirks like Wendigo, Reanimation, and Bodily Manipulation that had to be shelved away lest something happen and they use their quirks for evil

So he’s a bit confused as to why you’re allowed out and about 

But he’s most curious 

In fact, he’s very very curious

So he blinks up at you and takes a big gulp and closes his eyes tight 

‘Th…that’s cool…’ 

He did it!! 

Internally he’s celebrating like crazy because he managed to get it going!! 

He’s got this!! 

But then you just frown and look a bit angrier 

So then it all comes to a stop in Tamaki’s head 

And he eyes the cat, who’s nuzzling your neck 

And Tamaki decides to shoot his shot 

‘Who’s…the cat?’ 

You look back at him, clearly surprised 

You figured that your quirk scared him, with how he looked ready to die himself when he said it was cool, so you’re a bit confused. 

‘Custos. M’ familiar.’ 

Tamaki is definitely more curious now 

He wasn’t sure what to ask next 

But then Custos jumped from your shoulder 

You two are staring at Custos, kneading Tamaki’s lap

The shoujo gods are watching over you, really

 But then you look away again with a blush and a mumble of ‘I guess she likes you.’ 

Tamaki’s playing with her funny paws 

And there’s a second where he messes with it wrong, and the paw turns sideways, and then claws just appear out of nowhere until he fixes it again 

He’s talking to Custos and having a grand old time 

When you get out of the chair and plop down next to Tamaki 

And Tamaki’s starting to freak out again 

Did it seem like he was ignoring you? 

Was he being rude? 

He didn’t know what you were doing when you plucked Custos out of Tamaki’s hands until you murmured ’watch this!’ 

Then you  s t r e t c h  Custos 

She’s mewing happily, clearly enjoying it 

But Tamaki can see Custos’ spine literally separating, like a weird accordion 

You stop, and laugh when Custos bounces left and right, trying to get you to do it again 

And you nudge Tamaki, and he’s in awe

’It’s like givin’ her a kitty deep massage.’ 

Tamaki nods mutely, a little blush on his face 

Through this, you two develop a full-blown conversation 

And it’s going great! 

Tamaki’s genuinely surprised 

But then he hears muffled squealing 

And at first, he’s ’???’ 

But then he looks over to his right to see Neijre smothering her own cheer

And Mirio’s got a big ol’ grin and he’s giving a thumbs up 

Tamaki’s ready to EXPLODE 

But then you call his name 

And he jumps again but looks at you this time 

And you follow his original line of sight 

And almost immediately, you reserve yourself again 

Tamaki realises that the pissed-off demeanour was a reflex

You look at him, clearly taken off guard, and go ’Huh?’ 

Tamaki realises that he said it out loud, and smacks a hand to his mouth 

You both look shocked 

Tamaki’s sure that he’s messed up the entire thing and that you’re never going to want to talk to him again 

But then you give a bit of a sad smile before nodding 

’Yeah, I guess.’ 

Tamaki’s heart breaks at the tone of your voice 

He feels a weight in his stomach 

Custos begins rubbing herself across your face and purring, trying to comfort you 

And before Tamaki’s anxiety can catch up, he’s got his phone out and has yours so you two can exchange numbers 

He doesn’t have time to think over it or regret it before Fat Gum shows up for him so he and a couple of other students can train together 

And a different hero, with spikes and hair that hung in their face, shows up for you with several other goth-themed students in tow 

It’s later that night that he thinks back to it all, and he’s covering his face, bright red, and rolling left and right. 

Then, like a death bell, his phone goes off 

He stops rolling and just stares at the contact ’Vincente + Custos’ 

And he’s shaking and hyping himself up and nearly drops his phone three times and he’s near tears 

But he answers with a shaky ’H-Hello?’ 

And he hears Custos mewing a bit 

And then you 

’Hey. Tamaki, right? From the Elites Meetup?’ 

Tamaki takes a deep as fuck breath before speaking again 

’Yes?’ 

Yeah, it sounds like a question, but he’s nervous!! 

And he hears a sigh of relief 

’Cool! This is, uh, V. Vincente.’ 

There’s another moment of silence until you speak up again 

’But I can be whoever you want?’ 

This, too, is a question, but Tamaki doesn’t worry about that 

He hears someone’s vaguely cheering you on (it sounded like a sixteen-year-old, maybe?) 

But his face erupts in red 

’I-Well, that’s…I…’ 

Tamaki can’t really respond 

He’s too busy thinking ’?????!??!??! He’s into me?!??!??!’ 

You kinda sigh, and then say ’Sorry, that was kinda…’ 

And Tamaki starts stammering more over the phone 

It was a bit hard to decipher, but it was something along the line of ’it’s okay’ and ’are you free’ 

(yes, you made sure you were definitely free.) 

#2 is…Bakugou! 

We know this mf does not do anything half-assed 

So when you two are paired together for sparring 

He’s expecting you to have a quirk like Tokoyami’s, where light and darkness are important factors

So he goes blazing in, expecting the light from his explosions to be too much

But you’re just standing there, the fuckin’ cat on your shoulder and looking unbothered! 

It’s pissing him off! 

But then he feels something grab onto his foot 

And he looks down

And he doesn’t know how to describe it 

But it looks like a mix of a big, ripped out fetus and a malnourished child with huge, empty eyesockets and wrinkly, paper white skin and arms that didn’t fit its body 

(look up the messengers from Bloodborne, it’ll make more sense) 

And it’s quietly groaning while holding onto his ankle

And Bakugou tries ripping it off of him

But then another appears

And more and more until there’s a whole crowd around him 

’What the fuck is this?’ He can’t get them off, because, with every one that he shoots off, three takes its place 

And then, at once, they all start dragging him down 

’Hey! You goth fuck! What the fuck are you doing?!’ 

Yet the entire time, you’re unbothered 

And he’s trying to wade out of the tide that pulls him in

And it’s consuming him whole

The ground isn’t the limit anymore, he realises, and he starts panicking 

He’s blasting left and right 

But then he lets out one final yell, and he’s gone 

No one knows where

People have stopped to look, and your teacher gives you a stern look.

‘Bring him back, V.’ 

You only glance his way for a moment before, a couple of yards behind you, Bakugou is spat out 

He’s panting and sweating and looks like he saw hell itself 

You turn your head slightly to look at him, not even bother to uncross your arms. 

And when he looks at you he can only keep eye contact for a moment before lowering his head 

Very very quickly word goes around school

That the dark horse V took down the rowdy rude Bakugou that won the Sports Festival

Bakugou has rarely felt so humiliated 

So he approaches you later that day demanding a rematch

He’s gotten a better grasp of what your quirk is, so he’s certain he can take you on 

But all you do is shrug. 

This! Pisses! Bakugou! Off!!

‘Then no quirks, fucker. You and me and nothing else.’ 

Again, you shrug, and the cat on your shoulder hops of and perches on a nearby open window

Again, Bakugou is sure that he can take you on

You don’t look buff, nor scrawny. You look…moderate? 

Certainly like you wouldn’t blow away in the wind, but that you were more of a cuddler than a fighter 

So when he goes full offensive, he sees you start to lift your right leg and he’s all over it 

He’s thinking ‘dumbass!’ and goes to grab your leg when you switch in mid-air and clock him over the neck with your knee 

You let him get back up

But the rest of the fight he’s getting no mercy 

And he’s completely taken off guard

By the end of it 

He’s beaten and bruised 

Though you’re only a bit better off yourself

He’s pretty sure that some students watched in the middle of it but left near the end 

But either way, he’s been lowkey humbled

He’d never admit it, of course

But he now knows that he can’t underestimate you anymore 

When he takes a second too long to get up, you offer a hand 

And he nearly knocks it away when he looks up at you

And into your eyes

And he realises that it’s you putting yourself out there

You never really talked to anybody, at all

So he takes it 

‘It’s not me being nice’, he tells himself. 

It’s him just taking what is offered 

And he stands up and he’s taller than you 

And when he looks down he notices that hey

You’re kinda cute

So when the silence consumes you both he takes a hand to the back of his head and shoves a hand into his pockets 

‘I, uh…you’re better than I fuckin’ thought. You wanna…eat out sometime?’ 

Your face softens, ever so slightly, and if he squints hard enough he sees you smiling 

(though he would never admit it, he was whipped from there on out.)

#3 is…Midoriya!

When you first meet him he’s absolutely enamoured with your quirk 

It started with Custos 

And then when you started explaining the basics of your quirk 

He’s completely fanboying 

‘Oh my gosh, I didn’t know that quirks could have capabilities like that! To think that you can call on the armies of the dead…that’s incredible! Could I ask more?’ 

He’s a bit like Tamaki, but on a chiller level 

He ends up filling roughly half a notebook on you over the course of the train ride that you two met on 

And he realises that he probably hasn’t even scratched the surface of it 

So he demands (politely) that you guys exchange numbers 

You mention offhand that you don’t have too many friends because of how stand-off-ish you act 

And midoriya rises to the occasion! 

‘I’ll be your friend! Don’t worry! Actually, I have a voucher for some good katsudon at a stand down the road from my house, and it’s the next stop, would you want to come? Not that you have to! It’s just that I really wanna solidify our new friendship, and-’

‘Sure. I’ve got nothin’ better to do.’ 

Midoriya is ready to fly out of his seat with how happy he is!! 

He’s still not terribly used to having a ton of friends, so the fact that he’s expanding his circle, even more, makes him super happy!

You two go to the katsudon stand and Midoriya’s semi-swarmed by a group of old ladies that his mom takes yoga classes with 

And they’re pinching your cheeks with a feel of ‘Oh!! Izuku-Kun is this your friend! Is he your boyfriend? Oh, you two look very cute together! Don’t forget to eat well, Izuku’s friend! Please keep him safe and well!’ 

And to be honest, Midoriya’s not expecting you to take it all too well

He’s ready to shoo them away 

When you just give a really soft, sparkly, anime shoujo smile and take their hand 

‘I will, ma’am. You ca’ count on me.’ 

And Midoriya kinda stares in awe for a moment before one of the shrewder ladies nudges him in the side with a 😏

He’s like ‘!!! I-I-I-I-I-I just met him today! It’s not like that!’ 

And he’s flailing his arms and bright red and the lady is like ‘Uh-huh, sure, that’s what I said about my fourth husband’ 

Either way, the old ladies leave with a call for Midoriya to ask his mother to bring her soba recipe to yoga next Thursday

And he accepts while trying to drag you away from them because the last thing he needs is for the entire neighbourhood to try and be his wingman

So he’s talking with you about your quirk while eating and you two eventually branch of about anything and everything 

And by the time it’s dark Midoriya feels like he’s known you his entire life 

You decide to head out before it gets any darker and he waves as you leave 

He’s got a blush on his face and a lopsided grin 

Because you know what!!

You’re fuckin cute!! And smart, and funny, but you knew when to hold your tongue, and you’ve got a really cool cat, and he thinks that you’re really sweet, and…

And almost immediately, once you’re out of earshot, the chef leans over 

“Your boyfriend, huh?’ 

‘Aughhhh!’ 

@v0mpy