#Akaashi comfort

[simeon-lovergirl]

Thinking about timeskip Akaashi

Manga editor Akaashi who is your boyfriend ever since high-school, you've been together for nearly nine years, and as you knew, he wanted to be in the literature department.

Well, after arranging some things with his boss, he managed to let him publish a small manga, and so his excitement extended to you.

It was weird for him to not tell you or show you much about this project that clearly excited him so much, but he brushed you off saying that he wanted it to be a surprise.

When the much expected day arrived, he came home with the just published edition of the magazine, quickly and excitedly setting up his camera to record your reaction, his nervousness making him smile and even shake a bit.

You found it cute, how your boyfriend was all excited to show you his newest project.

But you weren't expecting the short one-shot to be a romance manga, so, with a confused expression you glanced at Keiji, who is looking at you expectantly, encouraging you to keep reading.

And then the tears flow when you realise that he is asking you to marry him, when you turn at him he's already down in one knee, the fine and elegant black velvet box opened in his hand, showing the most beautiful golden ring you have ever seen in your life.

You obviously accept, and the manga gets so much attention it goes viral over the next few days because it's just so cute, and so well written and omg the way he draws you it's sooo beautiful?? So the people ask for more, they want to know your answer so you post the video of your reaction and after that they need more, so Keiji's boss offers him a contract to keep drawing his story and so your story becomes the best romance manga, best seller, meets and greets, plushies, IT EVEN BECOMES AN ANIME AND HAS A LIVE ACTION...

And after the manga is done, he keeps making one shots of little moments yall had/have

[dreamesamu]

THE THINGS HE TAKES FOR GRANTED

in which he takes a moment to justify himself after never noticing your little crush for him

starring. akaashi keiji x fem!reader

genre(s): angst to fluff, (super, like-) long scenario 

warning(s): none, i think so? except for clueless keiji and not proof-reading

author’s note: akaashi is just a major green flag in this (every haikyu!! boy is 😭) i feel too bad to write them red-flag-y.

choose your character: m. atsumu | k. akaashi

you’ve known akaashi for quite some time, starting from your last year of fukurodani academy and then serendipity brought you both ended up being each other’s classmate at a same college/university. bokuto kotaro was your best friend, the little owl introduced his favorite setter to you and the friendship of three gradually become established, and as if it can not be any more inevitably, you eventually developed a secret admiration for the pretty setter when you three have been closed enough. however, graduating separated ways, kotaro pursued his journey to become professional in volleyball while keiji, once said to you he wanted a place in the literature department.

truth be told, even if you promised each other you would still keep in touch and plan every weekend friend group meeting online or offline, you’ve never expect you would share every class in higher education life with your crush, the akaashi keiji. the great thing is you both are paired up for an presentation assignment in the major you and him pursue, you do have plenty of time to stay close and grab his attention from making gestures that he usually failed to realizes.

here you are again, happily humming your favourite song while carrying a box wrapped with a small detailed towel, some big rolls of assignment paper stuck underneath your arm as you make your way back to where you both planned to finish the project - the library. 

“keiji, i’m back!” you set your things respectively on the table, and akaashi nods with a smile on his face in acknowledgement.

“oookay, so here’s your today’s snack, I hope you’ll like it” you grin, tapping on the box before pushing it to his side as he receives it and casually opens it while speaking.

“hmm? are those sketches of our poster? you can always edit them on the computer, why the effort?” he chuckled softly before completely unwrapping the bento box.

“I’m not good at designing and stuff. I may draw as I like and you’ll be the one to edit it on the computer.” you puff your cheek out, hands resting on hips as you watch his reaction to your delicately decorated sweets in the box made for him.

“this looks amazing.” he smiles upon seeing the pastries you made, decorated beautifully with different kinds of fruit as each pastry has different flavours, you probably did not stay up so late last night just to make all kinds of flavours for him to show how much you like him. yeah, probably not.

"oh, it's nothing, I just hope it doesn't taste bad" you chuckle nervously while scratching the back of your neck, letting his praise send you up to cloud nine.

your actions falter when you see akaashi put back the box's cap on, set it aside as he leans over to reach the posters you drew.

"now then, can we start working on the project?" he spreads out the piece of paper, glancing at you as you stand there awkwardly, prefer him taking a bite to look through all of your efforts than just shrugging it off and go straight to the main part of your study session.

"what...? oh- um..." you trail off, a bit embarrassed. "wouldn't you like to try one out? it won't hurt to just have a taste of it..."

"maybe later, y/n. we have other things need to be done right now." he merely states, eyes study the poster in front of him, unknowingly sinking your heart.

"yes, right." you shift slightly, taking the sit by the opposite of him, trying to catch up with him on the progress.

you let your mind wanders off how many times you've lost count already while akaashi quietly focused on scribbling something in his notebook, every thoughts you have are always about keiji, your feelings and the stare you give him thinking it's discreet. what's stopping him from trying my tarts out? and how does he feel being around me? or is that his way of rejecting something without making that person feel bad? flooded your mind.

"y/n?" you realize his faint voice ringing somewhere "y/n..." the voice becomes clearer. "earth to y/n, you're staring." awh, snap. right.

you blink, startled before clearing your throat, mumbling a small apology as you try to get yourself busy with the work underneath you once again.

but akaashi just chuckles, his voice calm and reassuring.

"hey, you seem off today. it's lunch break, please make yourself comfortable." you fumble at his words, it's noon already? as he collects his books and tidy it up at one corner of the table before speaking again.

"yuri satsuki is inviting me to have lunch with her. would you like to also join? i think she wouldn't mind." he kindly offers, probably not knowing the words struck you shocked.

you know satsuki-senpai, she's a year older than you and has been a social butterfly ever since you set foot in student life. she is a nice person, you conceived, but not until you found out that she has a huge crush on your akaashi keiji, her behaviour in your eyes became somewhat annoying. in return, she did realize she had a rival to win over him, you acknowledge that through the smug look she gave every time akaashi was around her instead of you, that is how the tension gradually builds up between you and your pain-in-the-ass rival.

and now she's even invited keiji for lunch? you feel an uncomfortable twist in your belly, screaming that if you do not take further actions, you lose akaashi to her. but his way of discarding your hard work, also known as an attempt to get his attention earlier discourages you hastily. this comes to a realization: ever since he start hanging out with satsuki-senpai, he has never touched one of your cooks once.

"no, i'm fine staying here. you go" you force a smile waving him goodbye. he hesitates upon seeing the downward trend of your mood as well as the strange attitude every time he brings up yuri.

"what are you waiting for?" you scoff, trying your best to make it sound not so bitterly. he nods quietly before ruffles your hair, thoughtfully remind you to get something to eat before start working again, and he'll be back with you soon.

you groan for the nth time in thirty minutes since his last leave, deciding not to eat anything at all after you laugh bitterly to yourself seeing the bento box laid cold by his stuffs which corrects your thoughts that he is not going to appreciate what you did for him.

the chair scraped the floor when you stand up, attempting to compose yourself when you feel your brain need a break from overthinking such situations.

on the way out of the library, your eyes meet yuri satsuki's, assuming that keiji is just somewhere around here as his lunch break partner is the person you least excited to bump into.

"well, well. isn't that the girl whose best friend choose to hang out with me instead of her?"

excuse me?

"don't get too ahead of yourself, satsuki-senpai. just a friendly reminder" your tone evidently irritated as you flash her an unamused smile, trying to avoid her as soon as possible.

but the radio scene of her voice replayed all over your head, your mind goes muddy despite the fresh air you're trying to take in, you let out a shaky breath, tears brimming out.

maybe, he doesn't quite noticed the things I did for him after all...

---

"you're back. where were you?" akaashi worried tone surprises you after a quite fine time of trying to find you because your study desk in the library was empty.

"i was... out for fresh air. why?" your voice is off and he noticed that. he always knew when something is bothering you, and right now he definitely know that something is wrong.

"after i finished my lunch i got yours, 'cause i know when i'm back you would still hadn't eaten anything." his brows slightly furrow seeing your avoiding attitude.

"thanks, keiji." you said briefly, take the package from his hand and sit down on your seat, never forget to notice the pastry box still intact.

your strange attitude didn't just stop there, it confuses akaashi for a more couple of days of your avoidance, he dislike the way you put a small distance between you both in study sessions, you flinch and tense around him more often, your answers and conversations are brief and sometimes awkward as you seem to be more preoccupied and attentive rather than to communicate with him.

"good morning, y/n." he smiles, your state has been bothering him for days as he is paying attention to your fade grin and a small "hey" as a greet back.

then he fumbles. something is missing...

oh. but then, realization sets in him quite quickly: you didn't bring any homemade sweets today.

"y/n..." he hesitates, meeting your eyes as you lift your head up from the notebook you're scribbling on. "does your home perhaps... out of ingredients or something?"

you are stunned for a moment, knowing exactly what he was trying to imply, scared to look at him directly in the eye as you shift your gaze elsewhere, pretending to have forgotten.

"oh... you mean the pastries... I forgot to do it. I was busy yesterday"

lies. he see through it, you know that, but you can't just blurt it all out that you're heartbreaking because of his indirect rejection that never says he doesn't like you, but makes you feel like it did.

"hey... i know something is wrong, can you tell me what it is?"

there it is - the worried look on such handsome face that never fails to make your heart flutter. but you know, that is just his nature of being an attentive and thoughtful person, not just for only you, but for everyone in his orbit.

so his question remained unanswered.

akaashi has been extremely distracted due to the sudden lack of your affection on him. it's just doesn't feel the same. even if he refuses it but deep down, he misses your midday snacks, your bubbly laugh around him and that flushed cheeks you wear every time he caught you staring. it has been a whole week since, and the fact that you didn't join the friend group video call with bokuto last sunday was his last straw.

he misses you, dearly. and if he doesn't do anything now before your project is finished, he might find it difficult to approach you even when you are his best friend.

and then, on an another lovely morning in the college's campus, an emotion he thinks he's aware of stirring in his stomach at the scene of you handing out a bento box wrapped with the same detailed towel, a small smile tugs at the corner of your lips as the other boy laughs lightly, scratches his neck, sending regards with a polite bow before making his way back in the classroom, akaashi doesn't like what his eyes have witnessed, so when he met yours, the bitterful look sends shivers down your spine.

you turn away, begin to walk, you do not want to deal with your bothered heart right now, not if it has anything to do with him, with that thought, you choose to neglect it because it is just your one-sided feelings for him.

but you hear footsteps behind, next is a small "wait" escaped from his lips when he managed to catch up and hold gently on your arm. that stopped you midtrack.

"please. can we talk?" he pleads.

---

you find yourself trapped by his presence in a corner of the school's library. there's no point in avoiding now.

"i'm sorry." he states. "i like you, i should've known."

your eyes widen. why- all of a sudden?

akaashi glances at you, softly sighs before bring your hand up to his face and kiss your knuckles gently.

"i understand now, i was clueless, you have the very right to be mad at me." each sentences he speaks crack your heart, but at the same time, they give you hope.

you neither know how to react, nor what to say, you just stand there, completely speechless, it encourages him to continue his speech of pursuing you.

"the last time i went to have lunch with satsuki, she confessed to me." he stopped, watching your expression. "but i turned her down, then, she got angry and started to brag about you. i did not like what she said, so i got quite defensive and... that was when i realised."

"i didn't know when it started. i just knew that i didn't feel very comfortable seeing you bringing your pastries that was meant for me to someone else, and more it's because i didn't appreciate it."

he squeezes your hand, afraid if not, you'll slip from his grip and become somebody else's apple. he certainly dislikes the thought.

"i want your pastries back, i love them as much as i love you. please let me correct such a terrible mistake."

---

"yes, hello. i've received the box, thank you, my love."

akaashi spins his office chair slightly, softly speaking to the phone stuck between his cheek and shoulder with a smile while unwrapping a huge warm box of freshly baked tarts.

"keiji, bad news, i'm out of powdered sugar after that batch." your voice echoed on output, he chuckles.

"are you free after work? we can visit the supermarket to purchase some. i'll drive, consider this a date with me, 'mkay?"

© 2024 dreamesamu. all rights reserved.

[koldunyakiramman]

Haikyuu Headcanons on doing homework together ༉‧₊˚.

characters: Bokuto, Akaashi, Kuroo, Asahi, Lev

tags: fluff, comfort

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ╰──╮

Bokuto ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

will always be a little late because he oversleeps and feels bad about it

tries to do homework at first, but gives up 5 minutes later

is trying to get some attention by distracting you from doing your homework, and gets upset if you don't give him any

builds towers out of pens and proudly shows them to you

puts his head down on your shoulder, and takes peaks at your notes, so he can copy them

keeps asking if you can take a break even though he hasn't done anything

randomly starts singing some lyrics

Akaashi ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

is focused on the studying, but still glances at you from time to time to make sure if you need help

explains the things you don't understand as often as you need to and stays calm

is passionate about teaching you new things and doesn't make you feel stupid

makes sure you feel comfortable, doesn't push you, and listens to you

shows acts of service by bringing you water and snacks, so you don't feel overwhelmed

usually wears glasses while studying

Kuroo ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

he finishes his homework very quickly, so he can spend the rest of the time concentrating on you

once in a while he will take away your notebook and hold it in the air, so you can't reach it

if he notices that you've made a mistake, he'll most likely comment on it in a friendly way

will play with your hair, and hug you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder, when he's bored

adores your smartness and is fascinated every time he sees you solving difficult terms

always notices small details about your outfit and compliments you on your appearance

Asahi ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

will always greet your entire family when he's in your home

your pet loves Asahi and will always jump on him and ask for cuddles

as you study, he will ask you questions about how your day went

feels a little embarrassed every time he doesn't understand something

will feel overwhelmed when you ask him for help, even if he knows the right answer

stutters a bit while explaining and apologizes for it

encourages you when you don't understand something and compares you to him to show how intelligent you are

Lev ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

get's excited to spend your time with you, even though he doesn't like studying

will sit with both of his legs on the chair and swing from side to side

is more interested in what you are doing, than what he has to do

he's very direct and will tell you about the mistakes you've made

teases you about your height out of context

loves to touch and hold your hand because of the size difference

will tell you about his new achievements in volleyball and how other team members are proud of him

asks you every five minutes if you are done

[215-luv]

AKAASHI & TSUKISHIMA WHEN YOU’RE IN AN UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATION

(tw: cursing, attempted assault)

AKAASHI

it was really unexpected of him to act this way—not when everyone sees him as a composed person especially with the way he handles the volleyball team’s team captain, bokuto kotaro. so, when people saw the way his calm demeanor drops the moment his eyes take sight of some third year dude being handsy with you, it’s over.

keiji was in the middle of volleyball practice with the team and as usual, you were there to watch him from afar. your peace, however, was interrupted when a senior who you were kind of familiar with approaches you out of the blue. you recognized him as the student council president, however, you couldn’t recall his name. since you were the only person in the gym who seemed approachable, he asked about the coach and told you he was practically there to talk to the team captain about some collaboration for all clubs in the school. since almost everyone in the school knows that you frequently visit the gym, he knew you were someone who was familiar with the ropes of the team, so he initiated a conversation with you.

to be honest, the whole interaction with him didn’t stain you with a bad feeling at all. he was actually really polite and didn’t show any ulterior move towards you. soon enough, the initial topic of the conversation regarding the clubs slipped away as it turned to a talk about your similar interests. he was an easy going guy, and he introduces himself to you with his name, kento, and to your surprise he already knew yours before you could introduce yourself.

too basked in your conversation with the council president, the both of you seem to didn’t get a hold of the time. you were pulled out of your conversation when you hear the cheers of the team, signaling the end of practice, and you were oblivious to the unusual look your boyfriend has been giving you from across the court.

and, well, it seems the team has noticed the distant look on keiji’s face as he eyes the seemingly fun interaction you’re currently having with kento. he swears it’s been like that the whole duration of the practice—but it’s not like he’s jealous about it, of course. there’s no way he’ll act irrationally about some little conversation you’re having with the student council president. he might have approached you about something related to school, of course, he wouldn’t think of any other reason why kento would approach you other than that. but why are the two of you laughing so much? why are you smiling so brightly? oh dear god, this is driving him crazy. the gears on his brain were rapidly functioning with a feeling of discomfort in him that he couldn’t fathom why he’s feeling that way. his overthinking was eating him alive and he so desperately wanted to push it all away because he feels like he doesn’t have any reason to feel uncomfortable at all.

“isn’t that yamazaki kento? the student council president?” keiji hears konoha murmur to komi, who was nodding in response, eyes suspiciously eyeing the boy you were still talking with.

bokuto’s eyes practically widens, “yamazaki kento? so his last name is yamazaki? i swear i heard him introducing himself by his first name to keiji’s s/o a while ago.”

what?

keiji didn’t hear that right, did he?

“huh? they’re that close already?”

no, what the fuck—because why is keiji feeling this way? why does he feel his stomach churning in discomfort. he shouldn’t feel this way at all. you were simply talking to someone, let alone making new friends. he didn’t want to make you feel like he’s stopping you from doing so simply because he’s getting a bad feeling about all of this.

the side glances and stares from the team doesn’t make things much better for keiji. his mind is full of endless thoughts, but the blank look on his face tells another story.

he tries to keep his composure, he swears. he’s calm, he promises. he’s okay, you’re okay. he trusts this yamazaki kento, he’s the student council president for pete’s sake.

everything felt so odd for keiji that he could barely register his feelings or how he should feel about the situation. from the look of his teammates, however, this was a bad thing. and honestly, he already knew it was from the beginning.

��well..” bokuto trails off, eyes pointing towards you and yamazaki kento with a frown, “not sure what to feel about that, but it looks like they’re having fun so i guess there’s no harm in that.”

konoha snorts, “psh, yeah, too much fun.”

“konoha, shut the fuck up.”

yeah, konoha, shut the fuck up. keiji practically screams in his mind—an unusual thing of him to do. a bitter taste lingers in his mouth as he glares at the wing spiker.

moments of awkward silence passes, as if the team is waiting for any reaction from the setter. and finally, keiji sighs, thinking that he should put an end to this conversation before things get worse.

“i have no idea why all of you are making unnecessary comments about this. it’s really nothing to make a fuss about, honestly.” he says, eyeing the team with a cold gaze that greatly hides the uneasiness he’s feeling deep inside.

“gee, he’s a good actor” komi murmurs next to konoha with an amusing look. bokuto hears it and hardly nudges his torso in panic.

bokuto clears his throat with a dry laugh, “well, yamazaki kento is an honorable council president, after all! it’s no doubt he’s talking to your dear s/o because of their amazing and outstanding role in this school—“

“yeah, well, you might want to think about that again,” konoha cuts him off with a cough, lowly pointing a thumb at the other end of the court where you’re located at. everyone swiftly turns their head towards that direction.

and as if keiji is met with his worst nightmare, to his horror, he sees the so-called honorable student council president subtly holding your arm, his body stepping closer towards you—as if the distance between you isn’t enough.

okay, what the hell? keiji is damn sure that you and this guy just met, so why is he being so touchy with you? why is he letting you call him by his first name? is he that dense? is his head okay? doesn’t he know that your boyfriend is literally standing a few distances away, eyeing him with a glare?

and there, keiji sees it. he swears it’s his breaking point.

you took a step back, trying to put some distance between you and yamazaki kento.

but then this prick takes a step forward, knowing damn well you’re trying to distance yourself from him.

there it is. keiji notices, you’re uncomfortable. your body language says it all. now, the endless thoughts in his mind is replaced with pure anger.

keiji’s pissed.

“okay, what the fuck?” bokuto comments, “first, he’s on first name basis with akaashi’s s/o, now, he’s being all handsy wi—wait, akaashi, where are you go—oh, shit. holy shit! it’s happening. he’s pissed alright. konoha, go get your damn camera!”

from the other side of the court, resided you and yamazaki kento.

you swore things were going well. you and the guy had a lot of things to agree on. but why is he suddenly being all handsy with you? what’s the purpose of him holding your arm as if he’s known you for years? you just met him! hell, you didn’t even know who he was before he introduced himself.

also, it was so weird of him to know your name beforehand. the feeling of ease has been eaten away by anxiety as you did your best to kindly give yamazaki the hint of your discomfort.

your lips forms into an uneasy smile, “u-uhm, would it be alright for you to move away a bit? we’re too—“

“too close?” yamazaki kento continues with a smirk plastered on his face and your stomach churns.

the guy now raises both his hands, subtly holding the sides of your arms while he eyes you intensely and you panic.

your breathing turns uneven, “w-what are you do—“

as if the air was knocked out of your lungs, an arm aggressively pushes the guy away from you, creating as much distance between you two. the air suddenly feels lighter—all the more when you see your boyfriend standing infront of you, his warm hands replacing themselves on the sides of your arms. his hold on you was much more gentle, more comforting and warm. you never felt so relieved your whole life.

“keiji,” you breathed out with a relieved look on your face. and keiji was quick to pull you in his arms to an embrace, not giving a damn about the student council president on the floor from the impact of his push.

“it’s okay,” he whispers, his lips lingering on your forehead, “you’re okay. i’m here. you’re safe with me, darling.”

thank god keiji’s intuition was always right.

TSUKISHIMA

kei is always one who has a lot of things to say—most especially the mean things. it’s simply who he is and he doesn’t give a damn if he attracts a lot of enemies because of that trait of his. when it comes to you however, he doesn’t seem to get himself to act mean towards you—his significant other. he’s head over heels for you, it’s a fact. and it’s sure as hell that the whole school knows about that. the infamous, cold-hearted guy falls inlove with a down to earth, kind person. how cliché—but it’s cute, isn’t it?

it was training camp, and karasuno, along with other teams from different regions in japan were present. you were one of the people who volunteered to help with the team since this year’s training camp would involve more schools to join, therefore they needed the help.

and so, as the kind person you are, you willingly joined the team for their training camp. plus, you would be able to see kei more. the idea of traveling afar and meeting a lot of people gave you the feeling of excitement—the complete opposite of your boyfriend, who thought of everyone else but you a nuisance.

you barely were able to recover from shock when you’ve arrived at the destination. the gym was huge, filled with so many faces that some you were familiar with, but most of them you don’t recognize at all. kiyoko was snickering at the shocked look you and yachi had while some of karasuno had their jaws on the floor.

you were too busy gaping at the huge gym in awe that you weren’t able to register a tall presence approaching you. his fingers raises to flick your forehead with a tiny sound—the action nearly scaring the wits out of you.

you tilt your chin up to meet eyes with your boyfriend. you give him a glare and he replies with a tiny smirk.

“are you surprised?” he asks you, his tone giving off the vibe that he’s teasing you.

you huffed, “of course i am, kei. it’s my first time after all.”

“well, you’re going to be met with even more surprises the longer you stay.” your boyfriend says, raising a hand to place it at the top of your head, “good luck with that.”

“yeah, sure. thank you for your concern, kei.”

you have your regrets.

a day has passed and you realized you wanted to take back your insincerity when you thanked him for wishing you a good luck.

“what’s a ‘lil mouse like doin’ you here? are ya lost?”

fuck. scratch all that, you needed to escape. now.

it’s a funny situation, really. kiyoko has instructed you to fill up the team’s water bottles. and you’ve successfully done so, your mission was done. everything was going so well. you thought you wouldn’t come across any problem along the way because you were just simply told to fill the bottles with water.

however, as you were on your way back, you bumped into an unfamiliar face—a tall guy who you assume to be one of the players from some school based on the shirt he’s wearing.

you apologized for bumping into him, and the basket filled with bottles that you were holding were so heavy you wanted to rush back to the gym as much as possible.

the guy, on the other hand, had other plans.

as soon as you were about to walk past by him, he raises his arm to block your away, and your head swiftly faces him in surprise. suddenly, the basket on your grip feels heavier.

you gulp, “y-yes?”

“what’s a ‘lil mouse like doin’ you here? are ya lost?” the guy smirks, eyes moving up and down your body. suddenly, you feel sick in the stomach.

you try your best to get out of here as soon as possible, making sure not to offend the guy because god, he looked like he could do something to you any second.

you released a forced laugh, “haha, just doing some duties for the team. i have to go now—“

“hol’ up. why are ya leavin’ so soon, darlin’?” the guy now blocks your way with his whole body, his tall figure blocking the light from you as you’re covered with his shadow. you wanted to cry, why is he being so persistent? you should have asked kiyoko or yachi to come with you.

you sure are met with a surprise. kei was absolutely right and you’re surely damned. dear god, where’s kei when you need him?

“where are they?”

kei agitatedly questions the team managers as soon as the team gets back to the bench after ending another match. it has been nearly twenty minutes and you haven’t returned—which worried kei although he tried his best not to cause a huge fuss about it.

“i asked them to fill the bottles for the team,” kiyoko answers, “however, i’m not sure what’s taking them so long. i’m starting to get worried.”

kei immediately furrows his eyebrows, “they went there alone? you mean to say no one accompanied them?”

fuck, he’s mad. the whole team screams in their heads. they all inwardly panic. all of them stood there stiff while glancing at one another, unable to say anything as it might fuel the anger inside kei even more.

yachi shudders, “w-what if—“

“don’t.” kei glares at her, stopping her from whatever she’s about to say because he’s sure it would only make the discomfort he’s feeling even worse. poor yachi squeaks at the glare he sent her, but he couldn’t care—not when you’re taking too long to go back. he swears his heart begins to beat rapidly every second he doesn’t see you.

“tsukishima..” sugawara tries to console him, he had an uneasy look on his face while slowly approaching the middle blocker.

“we’ll find them right now, we don’t have any matches lef—ah, and there he goes,” suga trails off, watching as the blonde walks out of the gym without a word to find you.

“no need to tell him what to do, i guess.”

the rest of the team then decides to split up to find you, hoping that you’re safe and sound.

back to where you were, near the area of where the water fountain was—you still stood there frozen, holding the heavy basket of water bottles.

the guy who’s practically towering over you lowers himself so he could get a better glimpse of you—the action making you take an immediate step backward as the close distance between you two made you uncomfortable. you gulped, refusing to look at him in the eye. he was so close that you could feel the sensation of his warm breath, making you feel nauseous.

“pretty bird.” the guy chuckles.

from the corner of your eye, you could see his hand raising itself to the side of your head. you flinch when his fingers were close to hover themselves over your hair strands.

and then, in a swift motion, a hand grabs the guy’s wrist, halting him from touching you. you jump in surprise.

“wh—“

“touch even a strand of their hair, and i’ll make sure you won’t have the hands to do so.”

that voice. your eyes widens, the uneasiness in your stomach dissipating as soon as you see your boyfriend standing close next to you.

kei quickly squeezes himself between you and the guy so he’s blocking sight of you from the weirdo. he grabs hold of your hand from behind, giving it a tight squeeze in assurance—then he takes the heavy basket from your grip. you couldn’t help but breathe out a sigh of relief. you were practically shaking, and you hadn’t realized that until kei came to the rescue.

“you’re here.” you whisper quietly under your breath, only for your boyfriend to hear, “thank you, kei.”

once again, you feel your boyfriend squeezing your hand, the action giving you the right amount of warmth and comfort. despite his gentle advancements towards you, it was evident that he’s practically fuming.

kei was overflowing with anger.

the veins on the side of his neck were popping and evident. his eyes were narrowed and his lips were turned to a tight frown.

“so?” kei looks at the guy infront of him, his golden eyes piercing and cold, “do we have a deal?”

and just like that, the guy walks away with a huff.

[illuminiscentboba]

[he needs you...tell him he's only human]

k. akaashi comfort fic

tw: akaashi experiencing an depressive episode and he's finally letting you give him the love he deserves during it

check out: are you wearing my merch?!

many things come to mind when akaashi keiji is brought up; for instance, the words helpful, considerate, always has a back up plan for any situation that concerns those he cares about.

but he's only human you remembered thinking last week when you were searching for tissues to clean up the coffee you knocked over, akaashi already a step ahead, having procured the tissues from his bag, asking the waiter for help before you could blink. he really was prepared for everything.

to be loved is to be known and boy does he know you to a T. he knows your habits and silly mannerisms and makes you feel seen and heard. in most of your pictures together he isn't even looking at the camera but you instead. his dark aqua eyes seem to follow you, curious and interested in the framework that you define yourself with.

its cute and charming that he knows what you like and love and remembered even the smallest details and preferences of yours. he is never greedy with his affection but sometimes it worries you.

it worries you when he feels sluggish and his mind becomes cloudy. when he pushes you away as another slump takes over him. you wonder if he just needs his alone time and sometimes thats what he needs but other times he tries to hide himself.

"please don't look at me" he says when you walk in without knocking. normally he doesn't mind but during these slumps he can't take care of himself the way he normally does. he can't help the way he feels judged when you slowly blink at him and the mess of the room. the mess he is. his hair is a mess, its been another day of not brushing his teeth, he already contemplated going back to bed with piles of clothing stacked around the room.

he pushes himself deeper under the blankets as you pad over to him, sitting on the edge of the bed. "baby, whats wrong?" he sinks deeper under blanket. "i'm a mess." he says miserably.

"so? you've seen how crazy i can look when i'm sick and even when i'm not." he knows that...of course he knows that he knows the cues before your depressive episodes and when to give u space and how to support you with cuddles, eating breakfast together with you on the bed and him in the chair in front of your bed.

but this isn't the same. he's supposed to help you, be considerate and know what to do. taking care of his loved ones is something he's good at, it makes him feel secure, and warm inside to see their smile, to hear their thanks and tell him he's the best.

but he can't be that and when these slumps dictate his week or weeks, he feels the shell of himself, unloveable...like a burden.

so he's been trying to hide it, to hide himself and that part of him from you. but you know, how could you not?

"akaashi i love all of you. the sleepy akaashi, the lively akaashi, the grumpy akaashi, the chatty akaashi, the silent akaashi, the anxious akaashi, the sweet akaashi, the messy akaashi, the witty akaashi." he rolled over now, head and shoulders pooking out of the futon.

you were telling the truth, a fond smile on your lips, the warmth of your words reaching your eyes. you mentioned so many different sides to him, some that he tried to hide and others that he never really thought about before.

"you do?"

he knows you aren't lying but it feels weird, rather uncanny to be appreciated without doing anything. he didn't do a single thing for you in the last few days but yet you've been making surprise breakfast for him, tidying his desk and leaving notes for him, telling him he was cute and handsome. its funny that your words made him feel handsome and better when he was well aware of the state of his appearance.

"of course I do." you stroked his futon covered limbs, itching to hold him. "you don't have to do something for me to prove your worthy of my affection."

his eyes glazed over, a silence falling as he processed your words. you rose from your place on the best, wrapping your arms around him.

so far for most of his life thats how his world would opperate. by doing favors for his parents that they didn't ask for and thus being rained with warm, doing the less desirable work for the team, even relecutantly taking on class duties when people would ask him to, even strangers knew of his innability to say no and how much he cares for others.

his previous partners rejected this side of him, annoyed with his slip ups in their routine, his messy state and coldly didn't accept his attempts to make it up to them, adding to this feeling of worthlessness that would plague him.

every time he went out of his way to make it up to you it was almost like gift exchange. with how much you crossed his mind, he crossed yours and it wasn't long before you were presenting him with stuff he liked, objects that reminded you of him, matching objects, snacks, you name it.

there were less onsided screaming matches at his house, instead hesitant conversation where you two would talk about your feelings and things you liked to be resolved. you asked that he stop trying to make it up whenever he did something wrong and he has, but he still spoils you instead with random affectionate gestures instead.

he let you hold him, fighting the strong urge to struggle out of your reach, does he smell, he feels sticky and gross and he doesn't want you to. your grip tightens, almost as if you've read his mind.

"we're here for each other keiji, i'm here for you on your rough days and your here for me, we're a team. so please don't struggle all by yourself."

right, a team. he forgot that there wasn't supposed to be an imbalance with the roles of teams. every player matters.

"I'll try." he murmurs into your shoulder and you stay like that for a bit, finally letting go to pepper his face in kisses. "i missed my cutie sooo much." why cant he realize that he's still so fine to you, regardless of how messy his appearance gets? that he's still the sweet, cool sexy individual you know, even with the mood drops, when his mental health declines.

"productivity doesn't define you! you define yourself."

"you're only human, baby." you inform him, dodging the hand trying to prevent you from kissing him. as much as he adores you, its summer and maybe staying under his blanket wasn't a good idea with the way the perspiration was sticking to his body.

"y/n please, i really need a shower, i feel disgusting". you let him settle out of the bed, helping him find clean clothes to change into.

"despite that, you're still my super sexy and handsome husband." you remind him, giggling at the blush on his face. even his sulking is cute, you think to yourself as he heads to the washroom, upset that hearing you call him sexy and husband will probably forever rile him up.

note: i might publish the same kind of fic but with reversed pov's? or might make this into a series?

[afyrian]

bats in your hair akaashi keiji x gn!reader (hurt/comfort) wc: 810 | halloween event: day one

    “they’re just over-exaggerating,” you lean up against akaashi, quickly rolling your eyes.

  most of the fukurōdani volleyball team made their way through this particular haunted house. most of those members claimed that it scared the shit of them. only a few tried to give off the impression that it was merely a walk in the park, laughed at by those who openly proclaimed it to be terrifying. 

  so to say you garnered high expectations was an understatement. staring at the large warehouse-like building, adorned with cobwebs and skeletons, you wonder what the inside will look like. how actors are hidden behind elaborate structures, animatronics littered throughout. “you say that about every horror experience. every movie, video game, everything,” akaashi wraps an arm around your shoulders.

  “because it’s true!”

  “okay just because you have a high horror threshold doesn’t mean that it’s overrated,” you look over at him, instinctively shaking your head, a smile lingering on your lips. 

  your hand reaches up, grabbing ahold of his as it hangs off your shoulder. “also, we’ve done so many of these now, that i’m just used to it. it’s always the same old thing,” your shoulders shrug as they always do, “we need something innovative, like an alien bursting out of a chest or something.”

  “there was one in the second haunted house we went to. which you forced me to go to and then i nearly lost my glasses after they were broken,” akaashi eyebrows raise, suddenly remembering every insane scenario you had somehow pushed him into. 

  you can remember clearly just how insane that location was. not necessarily scary… but they tend to chase you around until you can find the exit. which did end up in the upsetting destruction of his prescription glasses, trampled by a family of kids who got into more than they could handle. 

  however, he always seems to handle it with grace. always accepting going to more, pushing you to even go to a few. standing here, new glasses, you can really feel how much he cares for you. “i know… sorry again. besides, these look so much better on you honey,” you smile, scrunching up your nose as he leans down for a kiss, only a few groups left in front of you. 

  walking up to the front of the haunted house, a zombie-painted man stands in front, holding out his hand for akaashi to pass off the tickets. “welcome… to the frightening mansion,” his voice is low and slow, gravelly as he tries to seem at least semi in character, “no physical contact with actors… and don’t go off the path.”

  nodding, the two of you enter the large adorned door. inside the first room is a series of large hanging spiders. tickling the tops of your heads as you walk below them, fog machines filling the room with gallons of misty air. you can feel akaashi’s hand tighten around yours, his other hand reaching out and pulling back the curtains to walk into the next area.

  as soon as he walks in, someone jumps out from behind a pile of fake rocks. in his hand is a fake chainsaw, revving wildly as akaashi jumps back. pulling you forward like an old scooby-doo cartoon, the two of you hurry into the next room, a laugh just barely leaving your lips. akaashi holds you close to him, heart beating quickly in his wrist. 

  “he was just holding a chainsaw, there was no way you were actually sc-” your sentence comes to a close as a grouping of bats descend from the tall walls, flying down into the room, “oh shit!”

  wrapping your arm around akaashi, you push your head into his chest, holding onto him harder than you ever have before. your heart starts beating quickly, hands growing clammy. one of them knocks into your head, earning only another explosive ‘shit’. shaking your forehead against him, you wait for the action to stop, the noise to be a little quieter.

  “y/n, it’s okay, they aren’t real,” akaashi brings his hand up, rubbing your back in a soothing motion.

  “real or not, i don’t like it, keij,” your tone changes into something more cautious, scared.

  never in his life has akaashi seen you like this. you don’t even remember having a debilitating fear of bats. and all he knew was to hold his arms around you, letting the next group pass as you regroup in a corner. keeping you close to him, he tilts your head up with his finger under your chin, “it’s gonna be okay. and we absolutely don’t have to tell the team about this.”

  “okay… you tell the team about this and the next time we kiss i’m socking you in the stomach,” you purse your lips, taking in a deep breath. 

  “i wouldn’t tell a soul.”

a/n: poll is open for a week but choice will be picked every sunday night est and some characters may return in later votes taglist (open): @eggyrocks @causenessus @applepi25 @softpia @bakery-anon

@bae-ashlynn

[sadlysoulx]

[zumicho]

blueprints — two : wallpaper

one three main masterlist

cw: argument, angst (lol), religious references, flawed characters

between you and him: normalcy is nonexistent. the arguments aren’t heated enough to call for making amends, yet there’s a suffocating presence of wrong. an unwelcome thickness in the air that swallows the very life of your relationship, stabbing daggers at what once was.

‘you say it’s complicated, to make amends — well is that the way, that we’re headed then?’

there’s a different hurt to a betrayal that you know is coming.

“beige or paper-white?” keiji’s voice jerks you into the present.

you don’t recall how you ended up here, at the local wallpaper shop, rummaging through the ‘neutrals’ section, with the last person you’d expect. there’s a cryptic message in his gaze that you fail to decipher. he's waiting for you to respond.

“blue.”

a pause, followed by a resigned sigh. “can you take me seriously?”

“I am serious, keiji. I like the blue.”

“the blue displayed in the children’s section?” his brows scrunch.

“when will you stop letting everyone else’s view dictate your perspective?” you snap. “why do you care so much what they think?”

“I’m starting to think this isn’t just about wallpaper.”

you’d never guess that someone who wants to build houses for a living was scared of creating a home.

“it isn’t.” you’re crying. “it’s about how you refuse to try.” the tears are pathetic. because they won’t change anything. nothing will change how he thinks. they’re pathetic because they’re wasted on a situation that will stay the same regardless of what you say or do. “It’s about how I don’t matter enough — for you to try at all.”

the call of your name cuts the flashback short.

he’s crossing the room. three strides, till your face is buried into his shoulder, staining the royal blue sweater you bought him on his birthday. your nails dig into his forearms — an overwhelming sense of if I let go I lose you. akaashi’s holding on just as tight.

“I’m not ready for a house, love.”

“don’t call me that.”

“I’m trying to make this easier. on the both of us.” only the falter in his tone allows you to notice the fatigue weighing down on his shoulders, evident in the dark circles under his eyes. you don’t pity him. you should, but the anger outweighs it.

“easier on the both of us, or on you?”

“would you believe me if I said you do matter? that I’m ready to try?”

you take his words and squeeze them into an IV bag, letting it flow through your bloodstream, letting them marinate and seep deep into your brain.

his patience was slipping. “I don’t know what you want me to say. you want me to understand you, but you refuse to step into my shoes. have you considered that I’m scared?” akaashi stumbles over the last word. “talking to you is walking on eggshells.”

‘it takes strength to forgive, but I don’t feel strong.’

you lost grip of yours. “don’t yell at me for walking on eggshells you placed in this relationship.” is this how Jesus felt? when he knew Judas would betray him, and loved him nevertheless?

akaashi read the question off your face.

do you want to end this?

to your relief, he shook his head.

“how do you break up with someone who has half your soul,

and all of you?”

© froyaoya all rights reserved.

a/n: ness if u see this u brought me back into my NIKI phase. lol this fic is just my new vent medium so I’m sorry if it’s incomprehensible, messy, all of the above. proofreading tmr

tags @causenessus @wyrcan @greninjafan5000 @aliensstolemyheart @nursedflowers @whosmiadotcom @cr4yolaas @jeoo-saw @httpsivy @cnnmairoll @yenonnoff @phoenix-eclipses @tobiosluvr @rory-cakes @frvppe @mollyrolls @miyamoratsumuu @hyenagoated @mitskicain

[owlyflufff]

Something about Bokuto growing familiar with Akaashi's handwriting throughout their high school years, whether it's through little notes on how to improve that Akaashi leaves for him or the way caught Akaashi writing little tidbits of writing in a notebook or two.

Still Bokuto Koutarou remembers Akaashi Keiji's handwriting very well, it's a lot more elegant than his. He can recognize the particular way some letters are written, signs of something so precise, accurate and careful. It's very Akaashi-like.

By the time they've parted ways (or if Bokuto graduating but still going into the gym regardless to see Akaashi and the new recruits is considered parting ways), Akaashi's handwriting is still as memorable and recognizable to him. Bokuto knows it the same way he knows Akaashi so well.

Though merely sending a text message is more convenient and easier by a long mile, Bokuto decides to write a letter to Akaashi during his college days. Nothing admittedly prompts him to do it (he's always been one to try different things afterall), but he does it anyway, picking up pen and paper and humming a little tune as he crafts little stories, tales and experiences with his words.

His rambles and thoughts only for Akaashi and Akaashi to bear witness to.

A few days after sending the letter, no response. Akaashi doesn't bring it up either in text messages or conversation and for a little while Bokuto considers maybe it was a bit too silly of an idea.

Until a letter slips underneath his door and Bokuto doesn't even need to read where it came from before he's swiftly opening the envelope.

There is something to be said about seeing Akaashi's handwriting again. He misses it.

His finger gently trails along the paper, a soft smile on his lips as he reads Akaashi's response and his own tidbits of stories and tales, the chaos that is being Fukurodani's captain now in his stead. It doesn't take long before Bokuto is reaching for his pen and paper once more, writing another letter with just as much enthusiasm.

The exchange of letters between them last longer than Bokuto expected, but it would be an understatement to say he was happy in regards to it.

There is one day however, that Bokuto notices something is amiss.

Perhaps his eyes are just deceiving him, but he notices how some of the words are tangled. They aren't written the same way Bokuto recognizes them, not as careful as he had remembered them to be. It's a little odd to say the least but Bokuto merely assumes that it's just a little off detail and goes on, pen and paper already on the table as he writes back a response.

It gets worse.

The soft smile that was once there draws into a frown on Bokuto's lips as Bokuto notices how Akaashi's handwriting gets progressively messier. With every letter that he receives the words on the letter are getting harder to read, ink splatters and smudges on the paper. It doesn't help that the paragraphs start to get shorter and shorter with each passing letter Akaashi sends back.

Bokuto knows Akaashi's handwriting far too well but he knows Akaashi Keiji even more. Something is definitely wrong.

He's a new member of the MSBY team by then, having not been able to visit Akaashi as frequently when Akaashi also graduated. However this time he doesn't waste time, purchasing a ticket and making it over to Akaashi's apartment.

He doesn't know if it's a blessing or curse that his hunch was right.

There is something to be said about seeing someone so dear to you, with far too dark and deep circles under their eyes, room as though a whirlwind had disrupted and destroyed the former order he once recognized and Akaashi -- Akashi who had order at the forefront of his mind, Akaashi who gave reminders and ensuring Bokuto was on track, Akaashi who was always so careful and steady, now huddled up by his desk with trembling hands.

And if Bokuto stays the night, hugging him close and whispering nothing but soothing words to save him from another breakdown. If he shares the bed, letting Akaashi get the sleep he so desperately needed against the crook of his neck, watching over him and pulling him closer into his embrace. If he visits more often than once, bringing food and stories that start to slowly put a smile on Akaashi's face once more, no one would ever need to know save for the two of them.

Well kept moments shared and cherished between them, just like each other's letters they've kept and collected throughout the years. A stack of them safe and sitting snugly in a corner of their bedrooms.

They don't write letters to each other anymore. Instead there are sticky notes on a refrigerator, of food that needs to be purchased, chores to be done and little reminders. Of little doodles within folded paper sneaked into each other's bags, consisting of owls, hearts and smiley faces.

There's no need to write about their everyday lives, not when they get to share it constantly now within the confines of their shared apartment.

And as Bokuto looks to the side, seeing Akaashi leaning against his shoulder and writing something on a few drafts for Udai's next manga, he notices the handwriting once more. It's not as messy as it used to be, but neither is it the same manner Bokuto had grown to recognize. It's getting there though, slowly returning to same careful, steady and eased handwriting he had cherished silently throughout the years.

He kisses Akaashi's head, and knows that it's enough.

[aboutkiyoomi]

onigiri cravings | prelude

"i'm really craving onigiri." was your most common saying during the calmer years of nursing school. your soft-spoken boyfriend was always the first to offer up the idea of going to onigiri miya for dinner, well, whenever he was home or free to offer up any ideas.

life for you had been fairly simple, you lived in tokyo for majority of your life and graduated high school with amazing marks. once you left high school, you had immediate plans to get your bachelor's in science and nursing. something about interacting with patient's every day and maybe even brightening their days or just making them feel better, sounded like a perfect career for you. during uni, you met a young man, who happened to be a mutual friend of a mutual friend. things kicked off and you had been with him for pushing 3 years now.

the relationship has been and is great? your boyfriend, akaashi keiji, was a sweetheart and the most sensitive soul known to man. he was kind and gentle, everything you needed in a boyfriend. akaashi was textbook perfect but, lately he's been a bit flooded with his studies. as he aspires to be a doctor, he has a significantly larger workload than you and is rarely home and when he is, the two of you barely interacted.

fleeting touches and short murmurs of adoration. you began to feel neglected but you didn't want to desert him, in possibly the most difficult stage of his life. as much as akaashi cares for you, his lack off attention and focus was really displeasing for you.

however, as you closed in on the last couple months of nursing school, you decided to get a job at onigiri miya. your favorite restaurant in possibly all of japan. as you came to a close on your final years of schooling, you thought it might be great to use this job as an opportunity to steal recipes from the fated brand and to save some money for student loans and other unforgiving adult debts while you looked for your quote en quote 'big girl job' .

"hey keiji, i'm off to work." you mumbled, peeking your head into the "office" space, the two of you designated when you moved into your small apartment.

"mm." was the short, quiet response you recieved as akaashi rubbed his temple, eyes burned through his study book.

eyes rolled slightly, you grabbed your bag and rushed out of the door. you were very prideful in your time management skills, so although you weren't late, you hoped to arrive to onigiri miya with ample time to settle in and prepare for your very first shift, albeit training.

onigiri miya was nothing but a mere 15 minute walk from your quaint downtown apartment. the walk was refreshing, the cool january air brushing against your face, tickling your nose a bit. the buzzing and bustling of downtown tokyo, quietly muting as you stood in front of the bright red lights of onigiri miya. in all it's silent glory.

you prepped a shallow breath before pushing the doors into the warm atmosphere, filled with savory scents that made you feel cozy, in a way that you typically only get from a quiet winter night, snuggled into your bed.

as you walked deeper into the store, you were greeted by the hiring manager. a short girl with cute blonde hair, a bright smile adorned on her face. she showed you the break room and the locker where you could place your belongings before bringing you to the back of the store, where a tall man with silver hair, that could almost be mistaken for an elderly gray.

"this is suga, he'll be training you and giving you a tour of the store. if you have any questions, you can ask him or me. good luck, y/n!!" the hiring manager, yachi, shot you a thumbs up before waltzing away to her office.

"i'm sugawara kōshi, most people call me suga." he smiles, his hand extending warmly.

"nice to meet you suga, i'm y/n. soo, how long have you been working here?" you asked, rocking back and forth on your heels.

"almost 2 and a half years? i'm working on my doctorate in elementary education and childhood development. so, as i contemplate my life trying to write my thesis, i've ended up working here." he began, leaning against the counter before continuing. you chuckled slightly at the dry humor and also because you were thoroughly impressed with his educational background. "enough about me, i'll be giving you the grand tour and teach you a bit about the place. let me know if i'm going too fast or if you need help." his smile gentle and warm.

"sounds great. also, props to you for going back for your doctorate. i'm about to graduate nursing school and i don't think i could ever imagine going back." you chuckled dryly, head shaking slightly because school truly felt endless. especially as a nursing major.

"a NURSEE?? and you decided to work here?" suga raised his eyebrow, waving you into the kitchen.

"well, i love the resturant. a little too much andd i needed a side job while i look for my first big nursing job." you answered, unashamedly as you glance around the large, almost empty kitchen.

"well, props to you. this is the kitchen, we really don't do much back here. but here." he motions toward the window that separated the kitchen from the lobby of the resturant. "is more important, ya know, we receive the food and double check orders." he explains before moving forward through the doors to the lobby.

"the lobby, i'm sure you're familiar with it. all i really have to teach you is to make teas and drinks and take orders but thank everything that samu' got us an easy pos system." he briefs as he taps the ipad and enters it into training mode.

"samu? is he one of our coworkers? actually...do we have any other coworkers?" you ask, glancing at the empty store.

"we do. samu' however is the owner, he pops up sporadically. usually just to pick something up or explain a new promotion. he's really cool, we're good friends. we also have some coworkers that aren't here today because it's a calm day, not super busy. i'm sure you'll meet hajime and semi, super soon." he rambles, leaning against the counter with his head thrown back. you nod, silently taking in all the information.

suga takes it upon himself to begin explaining and training you on the pos system, which was impossibly easy for someone who had to learn to insert iv's for months at a time. then he explained how to make the signature drinks and just small details about the store that he felt were important.

"you're a natural." suga giggles as you make a perfect 'hyogo nights', a signature drink of onigiri miya.

"i worked at a cafe back in high school. i've got experience under my belt." you giggle softly before passing the drink off to a customer.

"so, tell me about yourself y/n!! if you're comfortable of course, it just gets really boring in here and usually, we all kinda just chat it out until our shifts are up." he chuckles softly before sitting on the crates placed in the hidden corner behind the register.

"well, i'm pretty boring. i'm a tokyo native, lived here my entire life. been dreaming of being a nurse since my second year in high school. i have a boyfriend, we've been together for about 3 years now. i want to work as a pediatric er nurse, to be specific and yeah. that's the basic y/n breakdown." y/n smiles softly, sat on the crate opposite of suga.

"wow, i grew up in miyagi, so definitely not a city boy. i've been here for 5 years now?? i graduated and immediately enrolled in utokyo and have been there since. 3 years of a relationship is insanee, i need tips because i cannot keep a man if i tried." suga laughs hard.

"pleasee, it's not easy but he makes it easy. he's been told he's a 'perfect boyfriend' time and time again." you laughed softly, your eyes crinkling slightly as you thought about keiji's recent behavior.

"i can imagine! a pretty and smart woman like you could definitely bag one of the romantics. i'm sure he's a catch as well." suga speaks casually, sipping on a tea he's made for himself.

"well, he's in med school so, pretty smart and equally as handsome." you spoke, smile genuine and soft as you think of the first year of your relationship.

the conversation continues and flows naturally, topics jumping from education to living in the city, all the way to your coworkers that you have yet to meet. hajime iwaizumi, who is typically called iwa by suga, is a burly man who is studying to be a physical therapist, which you admired. pt is such an underrated health care field ! semi eita, is your other coworker, lanky and humorous, according to suga. semi is working here while he decides what he wants to do with his composition major. yachi, the hiring manager that you met, has been working here since the opening of the dt tokyo location 6 years ago. she also designed the uniforms, a side hobby of hers. and osamu miya, the owner of the restaurant. suga claims that he is less of a boss and more of an annoying friend who comes to nag at him and that you get really used to him, even though he looks a bit intimidating from a "boss" perspective.

before the two of you could realize, all of the closing tasks were completed and the store was ready to be closed. suga paused as the two of you stood outside, ready to lock the store, it's bright red lights dimmed.

"is your boyfriend going to come get you? should i wait?" suga assumes, hiking his bag further up his shoulder.

"no, he's...busy. i'm just going to walk, i don't live far." you speak, eyes shut to think about the text you recieved from keiji.

"hope you had a great work day, i know you wanted me to pick you up but the study group decided to do a last minute session for our exam in the morning. i'm sorry, love. i'll make it up to you?"

with a sigh, you realize that suga has been saying something to you but you were far gone into your thoughts to realize.

"i'll walk you, if you don't mind. i can't, in good conscience, allow you to walk alone at this time of night. it's wrong." he smiled genuinely and softly.

"trust me, suga. i appreciate it but i'll be okay. i'll let you know that i get in safe though!" you smiled appreciatively, before waving goodbyes with promises to let him know you arrived safely.

as you walked, the cold january air feeling bitter against your skin, unlike the refreshing feeling you had earlier. but, you brushed it off to appreciate the new friend you gained from your new job. also, how could you forget to grab an onigiri before heading home...dammnit. now you'll be craving onigiri forever.

notes: this fic just serves an attestment to my writing, i promise i can write ya'll 🧑‍🎤. anyways i am SO excited for this fic and yes, i am letting you know now. akaashi is going to be a tiny bit of an asshole but not a horrible person, just an inconsiderate boyfriend. but, alas read to find out more. also no actual osamu appearance this chapter because it's just a prelude. but anyways, highly super excited.

taglist (open): @wyrcan @nightlybakes @anyalou @boogiemansbitch

[causenessus]

more than anything else. | akaashi k.

I LOST THE REQUEST BC I TRIED TO SAVE YOUR ASK AS A DRAFT I'M SO SORRY ANON </3 (i just wanted to do a fancy title color </3333 which thank u wyr for teaching me how!! i finally did it!!) they asked for a drabble with akaashi about a reader struggling in med school who isn't doing as well as she wants to but tries to keep it hidden but ends up breaking down in front of akaashi </3 i hope that's an acceptable synopsis of ur amazing idea anon </3 thank you sm for your request i loved writing this!!

akaashi x f!reader

written in 3rd pov

dialogue prompt from 1k followers event: ❤️‍🩹 -> "you deserve more"

"but still i'm alone, and that's what scares me the most. forgetting myself, forgetting what i said i would be." from clown car by lowertown

word count: 1.9k words

lots of hurt/comfort </33 akaashi and y/n are already in an established relationship

thank u to my very cool sister in med school whose experiences very heavily influenced this entire story which might very well be me tomorrow when i get my college test scores xx

NOT edited esp after i lost my draft the first time. tumblr, i have words to speak to u. the tumblr hq complaint list ree and me have formed gets longer everyday.

tokyo’s medical school program had been no joke. for as long as she could remember, she had wanted to be a nurse. she'd dreamed of it for so long that even when she didn’t initially pass the entry exam, she kept trying. it took her four times to finally get accepted. keiji had told her she was resilient, and their low acceptance rate was nothing she could control.

he was right, but she couldn’t help feeling worn down a little. she had known people who’d passed the exam on their first try, yet all her work up until that fourth retake hadn’t been enough. although they were in completely different majors, she subconsciously compared herself to keiji, as well. it made her sick to think that she was being left behind. while he had already finished his first year of university, she’d spent the twelve months completing prerequisites and working in a hospital, unable to do anything else.

she knew she couldn’t give up after coming so far, but things didn’t get easier once she made it into the program. keiji had already been busy enough with his own school work, but with the both of them trying to balance their classes, they didn’t find much time to do things outside of studying together. their daily routine became one of them buying coffee and meeting up at the library, staying there until it closed, and then walking home to collapse in bed together, falling asleep in each other’s arms.

the familiarity of their schedule was a stable anchor in both of their lives; neither of them minded daily study dates. it had always been this way since they met–being together was enough for both of them, they didn't need anything fancy. they showed their love for each other through looks from behind a computer screen and cold coffees with extra shots.

yet despite how hard she studied, she couldn’t help but feel like she was falling behind her peers. some of her classes she had passed by the skin of her teeth and when she compared that to her outstanding grades throughout all of high school, seeing even a B was enough to make her heart drop. even worse were C’s and D’s. although a part of her was just thankful to have passed all of her classes, she wanted to do better. she knew plenty of classmates who were struggling just as much as her–these classes weren’t meant to be easy, but when she continued to do worse than she wanted to, that didn’t stop her from feeling like a failure.

it was affecting her entire being; how confident she felt in her competency as a person and how much she was even contributing to the world. was it even worth it for her to continue studying medicine? was she worth all the money her friends and family had spent on her? worth the love keiji gave her? what if he found someone better?

one particular night in the library, her worries had overwhelmed her to the point of tears, and keiji had paused what he was doing to help her.

“i’m sorry, i'm distracting you from your work,” she had cried, trying to stop her tears, “you don’t have to help me or anything, i’m okay.”

“i’m not going to ignore you when you're crying, y/n,” he had said, voice filled with nothing but care and worry. “tell me what’s wrong,” he urged, moving around the table to sit next to her.

she’d explained her anxieties to him briefly that night, but she never wanted to inconvenience him again. even when she felt like she was drowning in her stress, she made sure to keep up a front around him. she could never erase the thought of how much better he deserved, despite his continued reassurance that there was no one better fit for him than her. 

their study dates had returned back to normal after that night. frequent trips to a coffee shop for another coffee resumed, and their stolen glances across the tables continued. she was currently working on a large presentation–an insurance project that would boost her grade if she was able to score at least an 80 on her upcoming final.

she felt good about the material; the project helped her study the chapters on top of the cramming she was already doing. her test scores in the class had averaged around somewhere in the 80s anyway and she felt confident she’d end the class with a good grade. keiji had reminded her of bokuto, who had barely gotten by in his high school classes, yet still graduated and made it out to be a talented volleyball player. although it was a completely different field from her, thinking about bokuto had helped her worry less about perfect grades. she wasn’t content with bare minimum grades that meant she was only just barely passing, but she’d been reminded that As weren't the standard and plenty of people had had successful careers despite struggling with school.

but perhaps she had got her hopes up too high, and everything seemed to fall apart when the notification popped up on her screen. 

not even an 80.

when keiji got home, the lights were off. his mentor at his internship had asked him to stay late and help with their current big project. it was a good opportunity and chance for experience, and he had texted her that he wouldn’t be coming home until later that day in order to keep working. she'd replied, telling him to be safe but had said nothing about a night shift at the hospital; she should've been home.

when he called for her, he didn’t get a response, and he was quick to put away his shoes before making his way to their bedroom. he didn’t think she’d be sleeping so early into the night, but perhaps she’d had a rough day.

then he remembered that her test score for her final exam was supposed to come out today.

the light pattering of rain on their roof was almost loud enough to mask the sniffle he heard, but the moonlight peaking through the curtain of their window illuminated her silhouette.

she was curled up on the wooden floor of their bedroom, leaning against the bed, and when he came around the side of the bed, he saw her tear-stained face, looking forward blankly.

“oh, my love—” his heart twisted at the sight of her, his chest tightening with nausea and guilt thinking about how he’d left her alone on the night she’d needed him the most. “did it not go well?” he asked softly, kneeling next to her with a hand on her back.

at the mention of the test, she choked out a sob as she shook her head and tried to hide her face, “no. i failed it, keiji. i failed the entire class.” through the hand on her back, he could feel the way her body was shaking as she tried to keep in her cries.

“let it out, love,” he whispered, encasing her in his arms and squeezing his own eyes shut. his heart hurt for her, imagining the pain she was going through. he heard it in the hiccups and whimpers that escaped her. she’d probably been here all night, and the thought only made him hug her all the more tightly. “they won’t kick you out of the program, right?” he asked.

“no, i get one strike. i’ll have to retake the class, but if i fail another one—” she didn’t finish, only letting out a shaky breath but he understood and he pulled away to hold her face, brushing away the tears that fell from her eyes with his thumbs.

“then it’ll be okay,” he tried to reassure her, “you have a second chance, and you’re going to do great. plenty of other people have failed, too. it’ll be okay. you’ll be okay, and i’ll be here to help you with whatever you need.”

she placed a hand over one of his own that was still on the side of her face, trying her best to calm her breathing down. “keiji,” she whispered, her lips trembling as she tried to hold back another sob that escaped her anyway.

“yes, dear?” he answered, trying to comfort her with a small smile, letting her know he was there and listening.

“why are you even with me?” her voice broke, as if it physically pained her to even say it. her hand dropped back down to the ground as her tears started falling again. “you deserve more. you deserve someone smarter. and better. i can’t even pass my class, what made me think i could do this? i wasn’t resilient for retaking the entrance exam, i was just being stubborn. i should never have been let in. i don’t deserve to be here.” she pressed her palms into her eyes, letting out ragged breaths that turned back into sobs when she pull herself back together.

her words hurt him even more than it hurt her to say. it pained him to hear how lowly she thought of herself when he thought she was the most admirable person he’d ever seen. he could tell the thoughts had been weighing heavily down on her for long–this was the result of pent up emotions she’d been stuffing down ever since that night she cried in the library. he knew that she hadn’t told him everything, but he had trusted that she would open up to him when she was ready.

he moved to grab hold of her hands, gently pulling them away from her face, “i’m with you because of your passion for this career, y/n.” he feels the way her hands start to relax in his hold and keeps going, “just because a test is difficult doesn’t mean you’re not right for this job, y/n. if you enjoy it and you’re passionate about it, that’s all that matters. the rest will come with time. and i know you’re passionate about this. i’ve seen how you treat others, you have so much kindness in your heart. you want to help others and that’s enough. a grade doesn’t define you or your future. i’m with you because you’re so much more than just a grade. i’m with you because i love you, i love your dreams, i’ve loved watching you work towards them, and i’ll be here to continue supporting you every step of the way.”

his words seem to get through to her and her tears start to dry, “do you really mean it?” her voice is just barely above a whisper.

“every single word, love. i love you more than i can put into words and i think everything about you is beautiful. your passion and spirit and the way you carry yourself. i'm the one who doesn't deserve you, i look up to you so much," he tells her, shifting to sit against the bed next to her.

she laughs, pushing at him playfully, “don’t start turning this around to criticize yourself. here, how about we make a deal: if i deserve you, then you deserve me.”

“deal,” he agrees, grabbing her hand to hold it between his, rubbing it gently, “as long as i get to be with you for the rest of my life.”

she sighs, looking up towards the ceiling, “if that’s what you want.”

“it is,” he tells her, turning her head gently to face him as he presses a kiss to her lips, “i want you more than anything else.”

[schaafdraws]

snapshot 📷

[ninapi]

┏━•❃°•°❀°•°❃•━┓

For Kimetsu go here

For Jujutsu go here

For Tokyo Rev here

┗━•❃°•°❀°•°❃•━┛

❀。• New to this

Akaashi version (Good ending route): Akaashi Keiji falls in love with a single mother and realizes she's all he wants for his life.

Word count: 27,791

☆ch.1 ☆ch.2 ☆ ch.3 ☆ch.4 ☆ch.5 ☆ch.6

☆Bonus chapter (Valentines special)

Osamu version (Happy ending route): Osamu fights for his very own chance at happiness when he is reunited with his first love, the mother of his brother's son.

Word count: 20,044

☆ ch.1 ☆ch.2 ☆ch.3 ☆ch.4 ☆ch.5 ☆ch.6

Atsumu version (True ending route): Atsumu gets another chance to get back the love of his life, the mother of his son, and build the family he was supposed to have.

Word count: 23,240

☆ch.1 ☆ch.2 ☆ch.3 ☆ch.4 ☆ch.5 ☆ch.6

❀。• Save me

The beginning: ☆ch.0

Semi version (Good ending route): Semi never thought he would find love where his insecurities laid deep, he never thought someone so broken could be so full of love, he never thought he needed to feel loved as much, until he met you.

Word Count: 24,248

☆ch.1 ☆ch.2 ☆ch.3 ☆ch.4 ☆ch.5 ☆ch.6

☆Bonus Chapter: Good ending Oikawa version

Ushijima version (Happy ending route): Ushijima struggles to understand the concept of love and what is expected of him in said equation, but he finds himself in the predicament of wanting nothing more than to be with the woman he loves even if it gets in the way of his established lifestyle.

Word Count: 19,837

☆ch.1 ☆ch.2 ☆ch.3 ☆ch.4 ☆ch.5 ☆ch.6

Kageyama version (True ending route): Friendship is a fragile thing. Keeping you safe was his priority for the longest time, but overcoming hardships along someone you hold dear form irreplaceable, indestructible bonds, and a childhood friend can easily become the love of your life; or so that was for Kageyama Tobio.

Word Count: 19,958

☆ch.1 ☆ch.2 ☆ch.3 ☆ch.4 ☆ch.5 ☆ch.6

❀。• Forbidden Forest

Premise: Ancient Japan gets hit by a rare disease coming from the birds. Succumbing to it and fearing for the safety of your bird companion, as a last resort you reach a mythical forest full of ancient shapeshifting creatures. Will you be able to find a cure? Will you be safe in the middle of a forest full of unknown forces? Love is right around the corner and meeting different clans will help you find it.

☆ Ch.0

☆ Tengu Clan Path (Sugawara Koushi):

Staying by your bird friend's side was the most comforting path to follow. Will this one lead to a happy ending? Was this the right choice? Love can weigh you down sometimes, but it's wonderful, nonetheless.

Word count: 5782

☆ Owl Clan Path (Bokuto Koutarou):

The promise of a cure had never been this close, being the wisest of the forest clans, the answer might be around the corner, but what if you didn’t want to leave the forest any longer?

Word count: 4764

☆Bakeneko Clan Path (Kuroo Tetsurou):

The possibility to save humanity presented itself, but you would have to leave the forest to chase this opportunity, something that could end your life. What you didn’t know was that chasing it would also mean find a love like no other, one that was waiting for you on the other side.

Word count: 5582

❀。• Fox Village

Premise: The last option to overcome the illness that holds you was very much uncertain. A place only known to be a myth became your last chance to survive. Welcome to the fox village, a place full of mystical beings, a place to finally call home, a place where love knocks in more than one door at the same time and choosing which to open might as well change your life forever.

☆ Ch.0

❀。• Kita Version (Good Ending Route): The connection he had with his past made Kita want you more than any of the others. He wanted to be like his grandma and she had a human by her side, always. Looking for the village best interest he ends up finding the real meaning of true love.

Word Count: 6296

☆ Ch.1 ☆ Ch.2

❀。• Atsumu Version (Happy Ending, Ver.1): Atsumu had never been interested in others, to his family and the village he was a good for nothing, a heartless fox possessed by an evil spirit that feeds on his compassion. But to you, he was just like everybody else. Having someone to listen to you and be by your side sometimes can make a big difference in who you become and what you accomplish in life, and so it was for Miya Atsumu.

Word count: 6348

☆ Ch.1 ☆ Ch.2

❀。• Suna Version (Happy Ending, Ver.2): Being the first born of the most prominent house in the village, it was a pressing matter for Suna to deliver as future head of his clan. High expectations were set for him which sent him your way, only for him to realize you were all he really needed.

Word Count: 6111

☆ Ch.1 ☆Ch.2

❀。• Osamu Version (True Ending): Fighting his own blood for what he wanted had always been an everyday thing for Osamu, but this time was different, he wouldn't let anyone have you, not even his twin brother. Before you, mating was just a concept of survival for them, but love can change someone to unimaginable lengths.

Word Count: 6186

☆ Ch.1 ☆ Ch.2

❀。• Glitched:

Premise: Suna Rintarou unexpectedly meets the girl of his dreams through an online game and he does his best to find this mysterious girl in the real world and keep her for good.

Word count: 12,514

☆ch.1 ☆ch.2 ☆ch.3 ☆ch.4

❀。• A perfect circle

Premise: When you like the guy who likes the guy that likes you, things get a little out of hand, when a triangle becomes a circle not just one gets hurt. [Yamaguchi/Tsukki]

Word count: in progress…

☆ Ch.1 ☆ Ch.2 ☆ Ch.3 ☆Ch.4 ☆Tsukki’s Ending

....::::**•°✾°•**::::....

[tetsuswaifu]

Domestic drabble prompts? I’m a sucker for characters comforting their s/o or alternatively comforted by their s/o when they have a nightmare 🤔 I think it’s the soft gentleness of the whole thing that gets me 😔

He Comforts You After a Nightmare Prompts

a/n: i apologize if you wanted those gender neutral, i just imagined hq boys offering this type of comfort, so i did use he/him pronouns for the characters. thank you for submitting the request, i hope it fits what you were wanting 🫶🏼🫶🏼 if anyone wants any of these prompts written out, let me know ☺️

likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated, thank you for taking the time to read my work :)

He gently pulls you into his arms as he whispers soothing words into your ear, rubbing your back until you calm down.

He will sing or hum a lullaby to you while stroking your hair and holding you close until you fall back asleep.

He makes you a warm cup of tea after the nightmare. Sitting together in the kitchen while you sip on your tea and talk until you feel ready to go back to bed.

You’re too scared to go back to bed, so he promises to comfort you and stay up until you feel secure enough to sleep again.

He shares a fond memory or comforting story to distract you from your lingering fear, his voice is a calming presence in the dark.

He lights your favorite scented candle and offers you a warm bath with essential oils, staying with you to provide comfort and reassurance.

He holds you close, giving soft kisses to your head while reassuring you it was just a dream and that you’re safe in his arms.

He fetches an extra blanket so he can wrap you into a blanket burrito. Cuddling and talking with you about anything that will take your mind off the nightmare.

He puts on a playlist of soothing music and lies back down with you, creating a serene atmosphere to help you relax.

After nonstop nightmares, you wake up to find him cooking you a full breakfast, hoping to start your day on a positive note.

He guides you in doing a few deep breathing exercises to help lower your heart rate and calm your racing mind.

He turns on a soft night light, offering to read a book to you or watch a light-hearted show until you’re ready to sleep again.

If you don’t have it already, he retrieves your favorite blanket or stuffed animal so you can feel snug as a bug.

He traces patterns into your skin, such as circles or swirls, to soothe you and help you drift back to sleep.

If you want to discuss the nightmare, he attentively listens, offering understanding and validation without trying to minimize your feelings.

He promises to keep watch for you, allowing you to feel at ease enough to fall back asleep.

He offers a sketchpad to you, encouraging you to draw or doodle as a way to express and release from your lingering thoughts.

If you want to take a shower, he makes sure to let you relax the whole time. He’ll rub your muscles under the hot water while offering comforting words, hoping it’ll release your tension and fear.

He engages in light, casual conversation about mundane topics to distract you. Talking about random things like the weather or the new store that’s being built in town.

If your pet isn’t already in bed with you, he goes and brings them. He knows the presence of a beloved pet can provide additional comfort and reassurance.

He will spray your pillow in whatever scent makes you calm, like his cologne, eucalyptus, lavender, or chamomile. He’ll rub your back as you deep inhale the scent.

He guides you through visualization exercises, helping you imagine a safe and peaceful place to temporarily escape reality.

[thewater]

just read “In Another Life” for the first time, and let me just say, ao3 user LittleLuxray, count your fucking days i’m still crying what the hell. that was so heart wrenching. how could you do that to me in only 23,000 words. i didn’t think it was going to get me like that. but it did. fucking hell. bokuto’s my favourite too. my poor boy :(

[morrimorriarts]

The Reason Why You Love Him

An Akaashi Keiji (Haikyuu) x Reader Oneshot

A one-shot of your relationship with Akaashi - and everything that came with it.

This fic includes: Gender Neutral Reader, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Sexual Themes, Mild Cursing, Self-starvation,

Word Count: 11k Words

Enjoy!

THE REASON WHY YOU LOVE HIM

Maybe it's the way he smiled.

When Akashi Keiji smiles, it’s in a soft way - his lips turn up, cheeks rising a little. When he smiles, the people around who see him blushes, for who has ever seen a sight so beautiful?

But when Akaashi Keiji smiles, it’s warm. His mouth curls upwards, his eyes turning to crescents as they smile, too. His lips part to show a bit of his teeth, while gentle pinks seem to bloom at his cheeks. Sometimes, he laughs shortly after, a sound deep from his throat, melodious and comforting.

The first time Akaashi Keiji smiled at you, it was the day you first met.

He sat right next to you, neat and composed as the other students came filing in. It's the first day of school and you thank the heavens the person you are seated with looks gorgeous and smart.

You were the first to speak.

"Hello." Your voice is quiet, almost shy, a part of you is afraid he won't reply. His head rose and he turned to look at you. 

He replied, “Hello.”

You fumble with your greetings and introduction, your own name stumbles out of your lips - there is something about him that has made you a little tongue-tied. When he smiles and gives you his name, your brain is quick to repeat it a second, third, fourth, fifth time. “My name is Akaashi Keiji,” He said, “I hope we get along.”

He smiles. It is the first time you feel your heart skip a beat.

“I’m sure we will.” You respond with a smile.

Maybe it’s his kindness, even if it feels a little limited at times.

Akaashi Keiji knows how to give - all within reason, of course.

He’s the type to lend an eraser or a pencil, but only if it’s the extra.

“Akaashi… can I borrow your pencil?” You asked quietly, leaning to his direction. He looks at you for a brief second, before he turns and opens his pencil case. Soon enough, he’s handing you a pencil, 

And when he handed it towards you, your skin buzzed for a second when the two of you touched, even if it was only for a moment. “I’ll return it after class.” You said, he only nods. When you turn away, there’s a thrum beneath your skin and the pencil lended to you feels like gold.

He’s the type to share his book with you, but makes no move to adjust.

So you move your seat closer to his, peering into his open book as you take note of the lesson. Akaashi is kind enough to wait for you to finish taking notes before turning the page, his own hands working quickly to paste translucent sticky notes along the important details. He has an entire pack of it by his side, scribbling more information on the spaces in between.

Akaashi is kind enough to help you study between classes or to help you clear up confusing lessons.

“Factor them, so you can get rid of some of the components.” Akaashi murmurs, writing on your paper to show you. “Like this.” He said softly, patiently. You nod along as he said, “Okay, now you cancel both the (x+1) on the denominator and numerator.” You follow his instructions, calmed by his patience to teach.

“It’ll be easier for you if you memorize the formulas and such. During the quiz, you’ll probably have no time to keep on doing things manually.” He said.

You laugh sheepishly, “I’ll try… you���ll still help me, right?”

“I can help you study.” He said with finality.

The day of the exam, you lean towards him a little, but before you can even ask for his help, his arm has already covered his answers. He raises an eyebrow at you, which makes you turn back to your own paper.

And yet, when you sulk afterwards, he gives you a small carton of banana milk, though he bumps it on your forehead first before he sets it down.

If not, then maybe it’s his voice.

Because when Akaashi Keiji spoke, he spoke smoothly, he did not stutter nor show signs of doubt. It’s one of the reasons why people like him so much.

You look up at him from your seat, watching him stand as he was called on by the teacher. Akaashi opens his book, beautiful eyes finding where the last reader left off, before he starts to speak. His english is a little heavy, yet flows well as he reads the part of the poem assigned to him.

He distracts you enough that you do not realize when the poem has ended and where your daydreaming began.

Akaashi looks at you, blinking before turning away.

If you weren’t called to read the next part, maybe you would’ve paid more attention and saw how he too, stared as you spoke, soft pink rising up his neck.

And if it’s still not that, then maybe it’s because of his presence alone.

Akaashi sits silently to the side, eating a rice ball as he reads a book. All around you, your friends babble on and on about a new cafe that opened just down the street, a few blocks away from your school.

You’re about to say that you want to go to the aquarium instead, when the others started to gush all about the food that they want to try out in the new cafe. “Are you okay with going to the cafe?” They asked you, simultaneously turning their heads towards your direction.

Your throat constricts a little, as if your heart has jumped to your tongue. It takes you a second before you say, “Yeah… sure.”

“Alright, this Saturday, then!” They grinned. 

They leave soon after the bell rings, leaving you fiddling with your hands, budgeting everything in your mind. You sighed, when you turned back to the side, Akaashi was looking at you. “Oh, sorry. Were we too loud?” You asked.

“Why didn’t you tell them?” He asked.

Your eyebrows furrow, “Tell them what?”

“That you didn’t want to go to the cafe.” He said simply. 

You tense up under his gaze so much that “What?” Is the only thing that you can utter.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear.” He smiled.

You shake your head, “No, no- but… how did you know?”

Akaashi Keiji’s reply is simple, “Your tone was different. When you really agree to something, you sound much happier than that.” When you don’t reply and only stare back, Akaashi blinks before taking it as a sign that the conversation is over. He turns back to his book, finishing his rice ball as he flipped to another page.

A part of you wants to end it at that, but the other, more impulsive part is quick to ask - “Then, would you like to go to the aquarium with me?”

Akaashi stared for a moment, before he smiled and said, “Sure.”

That was what led to this, to walking under glass-kept waters, where above you both, schools of fish swimming away from sharks, the mutterings of other visitors reaching your ears as they talked. 

You try to remember all the fish facts you read up online - maybe it will impress him, maybe it will make him talk more. You go on and on and on. Akaashi only nods along. There is a pang in your heart and you feel your hands tremble.

You try again, you start to ask questions.

“What’s your favorite fish?” You asked, by now, you’ve forgotten that you’re here to look at the animals, not fumble over words as you desperately try to make conversation. Akaashi shrugs - he doesn’t have one.

You try again.

“Have you been to an aquarium before?” Yes.

“When?” When I was 10, I came with my family.

“Did you like it?” Not much.

You spew out questions until you’ve run out of breath trying to get rid of the silence. So you ask a question you don’t like asking.

“I’m sorry, am I annoying you?” You asked. You dread the answer he will give - what if he found you boring, or noisy, or selfish, or a know-it-all, what if he hates you? What if he regrets coming here?

Akaashi responds with a small shake of his head, “You’re not.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just trying to fill the silence-” You said again, you don’t believe that you’re not. Because you’ve heard that before. “I just-” You hate yourself for stuttering, “I just don’t want this to be boring.”

“You don’t have to force yourself to talk.” Akaashi said, blinking seriously and offering you a small smile. “I enjoy your company as is.”

Akaashi walks beside you - he is silent. Yet, for the first time, the silence doesn’t bother you.

And oh. There is comfort in his silence.

Where others’ felt tense and frustrating, Akaashi’s silence felt normal. His presence does not leave with the sound of his voice, no, instead, it only seems to solidify - because Akaashi Keiji doesn’t need to speak to say that he’s there.

The two of you end up in front of a couple stingrays, you can’t help but put your hands against the glass, marveling at the way they glide through the water. One of them swooped upwards and you can’t help but giggle at the seemingly smiling face of the animal. Your eyes followed it as it swam around.

When you turn back to Akaashi, he is smiling. “You finally look happy.” He said.

A dark blush rose from your neck - you don’t know if he knew how his words have affected you, or if he even knows how he sounded but you don’t speak of it. You simply bask in the moment, part of you registers this as a date, but the more rational part of you labeled it as platonic. You decide to ignore them both, instead, you simply walk with him along the lit path of the dark aquarium. All around you are silhouettes of other people, a thousand buzzing voices tuned out by Akaashi’s presence.

He, alone, is enough to draw your attention even as he did nothing to get it.

Soon enough, you stood by the edge of a dolphin show, watching with wonder as trainers guide and instruct three dolphins to play around. You don’t mind the way that the water splashes on your new outfit, nor the noise of the other visitors. Beside you, Akaashi watches, as well.

One of the dolphins practically flies out of the water, making you slap his arm excitedly as you point towards it. Akaashi only chuckles - he doesn’t mind the way that you’re acting, letting you do as you wish.

And when the show is over and the dolphins swim freely, Akaashi is the one who holds you back from touching them when they get close - when you pout at him he only says, “It’s unpredictable.”

You’re quick to get over it, going over instead to a penguin enclosure, where workers come and let you feed the penguins. You’re quick to wear the gloves, throwing fish just a few feet from where you both were, watching in amazement as the penguins waddle and swarm at the food. You look over to grin at him, “Can you take a picture?”

Akaashi nodded, pulling out his phone to capture pictures of you and your antics around the aquarium. Soon, you both end up under glass again, looking up at the fish that swim by.

“Look! It’s a hammerhead shark!” You smiled, watching it swim up above you both.

Suddenly, you feel his hand close over yours, he pulls you away from a group of visitors you were about to collide with. “Ah, sorry.” You smiled sheepishly at them. When they’re gone, you thank Akaashi, who only nodded.

You don’t comment on it when he keeps on holding your hand - why would you?

As you look around and take your own pictures, Akaashi is the one who tugs you in a certain direction to avoid you getting in an accident. Your mind is aware of your surroundings - after the first time, your brain becomes more alert in order to not embarrass yourself and yet, you let him. You let Akaashi hold your hand, directing you where to go even if you knew it.

A part of you warms at the amount of care the simple gesture showed.

The time to leave comes, but instead of parting ways, you let him walk the both of you to a small cafe near the aquarium. You don’t mind that as he does, his hands still keep themselves intertwined with yours

Your skin flushes at each squeeze or tug of his concern.

He squeezes your hand by the crosswalk just as the lights turn red and the cars stop, holding your hand in a hold that is secure, yet comfortable - he didn’t hold your hand like the bruising grip of your parents, or the loose grip of your laughing friends. He held your hand. He held your hand.

He opens the door for you when you get there, letting you sit as he leaves to get your orders. It is then that he leaves your hand unoccupied. And when he went away, you clutch your hand to your chest.

Akaashi Keiji holds your hand once and your heart thrums in his name.

No? His care, then.

After all, it was Akaashi Keiji who cared enough about you to ask where you were when you were absent in school. "Are you okay?" He asked over the phone.

You sniffle, the cold has lessened but the ache in your body remained, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little bit under the weather."

After school hours, you are surprised to see multiple notifications of texts from him. When you open them, you giggle at the sight of photographs of his notes (thoughtfully separated by subject) and a text listing a to-do list of things you need to catch up on. 

You smile and text him, 'Thank you :D'

Your phone dings. He replies, 'You're welcome.'

Still no? Then maybe his passion.

Akaashi Keiji's passion burns silently. It's there, but it doesn't spread like a wildfire. Instead, it's a well-kept flame that never dies.

You step into the gym, looking around curiously.

You sit by the benches, the sight of volleyball and players aren't new but this sight of Akaashi is. Akaashi's gentle hands seem a little more aggressive in court. His eyes seemed a little sharper and calculative as he made quick judgments of who to set to and how to fool the enemy into making a mistake.

You're completely taken by the sight of it.

Akaashi doesn't scream out motivation to his teammates, but his actions are loud enough. You can barely keep yourself seated, the Bento box you spent hours making feel heavier in your hands.

A whistle blows as both teams breathe heavily. Your heart sinks when you see Akaashi's team panting as the other team celebrates.

Akaashi walks off at the same time as the others do.

You're quick to stand and go after him. When you catch up, he's scowling slightly in front of a vending machine, watching the drink drop. It melts away at the first sound of your footsteps.

He turns his head and looks at you when you call out to him. You fumble with your words, "Uhm- thank you for the notes. I, uh, made this for you." You said, extending the Bento Box towards him.

He takes it hesitantly. "You didn't have to."

You respond, "I wanted to."

You walk with him to the cafeteria, where you both sit down to start eating. 

"Are you okay?" You ask. It feels a little awkward.

Akaashi looks at you, "Of course." The tight grip he has on his chopsticks is enough to let you know how he truly felt.

You watch him carefully, trying to see if he liked it.

He doesn't show his emotions obviously but you see the small jump on his eyebrow when he ate the egg rolls you made, or the light, quick purse of his lips when he sees the slightly burnt sausages. "If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it." You said.

Akaashi Keiji stares at you as he puts another sausage in his mouth.

You fiddle with your fingers, that is when he asked, "Did you get hurt while making this?" You look down at your bandaged fingers and quickly hide them under the table.

"No?" You said, flinching when it comes as a question instead of a statement.

Akashi blinks. You relent. "Fine. Yes I did."

He sighed but didn't say anything else.

And yet, before lunch break ended, Akaashi sat by you, changing your sloppily applied bandages with new ones. "You have to disinfect the cuts first before you bandage them." He reminds you, "And next time, be more careful."

When he's done, he places another carton of banana milk into your hands, "Here, it'll make you feel better."

By the time school is over, your eyes wander to see where Akaashi might've gone. You ask around, no one really knows either - this is why you hated Thursdays, because Thursdays meant having only one morning class with Akaashi. You text him, waiting for a reply as your feet continue to wander.

He does not reply.

Finally, you end up by the gym. You jump slightly at the sound of balls hitting the ground. When you step inside, you see Akaashi, standing only a few feet away from the net, setting for people who weren't there.

"Akaashi?"

Your voice breaks his concentration, making him tense. He caught the ball in his hands, looking over to you, asking what you needed.

You asked him, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he replied. A part of you knew that he wasn't.

So you walk in, false confidence draped on your shoulders as you asked, "Do you want help?"

Akaashi is hesitant, but he accepts.

Soon, you are throwing balls in his direction, his body moving almost on autopilot as he keeps on setting again and again and again. By the time you're both done, the sun begins to threaten that it will leave entirely, giving you only minutes of sunlight before the two of you finally make your way out.

"I'll walk you home," he said.

You shake your head. Though the two of you go towards the same initial direction, you know that when you reach the third intersection, you'd have to part. His house is to the left of the third intersection, yours is to the right of the fifth. If he goes to yours, he'd have to walk for thirty minutes more and you knew he was tired. You knew he was slowly burning out.

So you said, "You don't have to."

He replied, "I want to."

You couldn't find it in yourself to say no to that.

The two of you stop by a small shop.

You buy him strawberry milk the same time he bought you banana milk.

So maybe you don't hate Thursdays as much anymore. Because now, Thursdays meant late volleyball with Akaashi, followed by a night walk and banana milk.

Ah. When did you start liking banana milk?

Maybe it's all of the above.

Before you knew it, you only have a year left before college comes so you stand beneath a cherry blossom tree, cursing under your breath because fuck, this is so cliche. 

It’s spring and everything is blooming - everyone is confessing. It feels so stupid to do the same but your heart is thumping like crazy and everything else feels irrelevant. Who cares if it’s cliche? Who cares if it’s been done before? Who cares if it’s obvious?

It’s your feelings and you have the right to do with it as you wish so when Akaashi comes into view, everything melts away. Suddenly, it’s just him and you under a cherry blossom tree.

You know that he knows - after all, how could he not?

And yet, you still spit it out, the words that feel so big on your tongue. “I like you.” You said, screwing your eyes shut as you try to ask your heart to calm down because if not, you might just pass out right then and there. “I like you so much.” You breathe, your lungs stagger and ache as you try to take in oxygen.

Akaashi Keiji replies. “Why?” You open your eyes, it’s then that you see the cards of pinks and glitters tucked crumpled on his pockets, and the plastic bag of chocolates he was holding. Ah. There were those that came before you.

You stammer - you didn’t think of a poem to tell him how much you like him or a beautiful metaphor that illustrates how you feel. “I-” You stumble over your words, “I just- I just like you.”

“When I’m with you, I’m comfortable and I feel accepted and I haven’t felt this way before.” You said, you feel all tongue-tied again, as if each syllable is stuck in your throat and you have to force them out each time. “I love your silence, when I’m with you I don’t feel pressured to be someone I’m not and I… I appreciate the way you treat and care for me.”

Your answer is all over the place, if you knew, you would have memorized an essay that answered him fluently and properly, you would construct a message that had clear points, you wouldn’t stutter or doubt if your message is coming through. If you knew he would ask ‘Why?’, you would have written a thousand words to tell him why you liked him but you didn’t.

So you conjure all the ways you liked him - “I like it when we touch, because your hands feel warm and soft and when you held my hand that day we went to the aquarium, I couldn't help but want you to keep on holding on to me. I’m jealous of all the girls who had the courage to confess to you before me- I envy their strength to look you in the eyes and tell you ‘I like you’ because I’m confessing to you right now but I can’t look you in the eyes because I’m embarrassed and I feel underprepared.” You spoke quickly, looking down on the ground as you gripped the box of homemade cupcakes you baked for him specifically for today.

“I want to give you something better because now I see what the others gave and it’s all so expensive but I- I don’t have enough money to afford that much and I never really had a talent for writing heartfelt letters because they all end up cheesy but I- I wanted to do it for you. So instead, I made you cupcakes! But I don’t think you’ll like them because- because it’s my first time making cupcakes of this flavor because I know you like this but I’ve never made it before but I wanted to make it for you but Akaashi I’m so nervous that I’m speaking the first thing that comes in my mind. So please, if you’re going to reject me, please just reject me already-” You were going to look up to look him in the eyes when he cut you off.

“May I kiss you?” He asked softly.

His words are enough to make your brain short-circuit.

“What?” You asked - you must have heard him wrong.

Akaashi repeats his question, “May I kiss you?”

You stammer - what even is there to say? You respond a little quicker, tongue tripping on words, "Y-yes!"

Akaashi Keiji leans in, you freeze. His hands cupped both sides of your cheeks, you have a second to register how he drops the plastic bag filled with chocolate treats. You have another to panic about whether or not your breath smells good and whether or not you should open your mouth or keep it closed.

Akaashi Keij kisses you under a cherry blossom tree and shit, it's fucking cliche but you love it - because that moment, that fraction in time is strictly just yours and his. It didn't matter that this was probably done before, that multiple students have probably kissed under the same tree… what mattered is that Akaashi Keiji's lips are on your own and your first kiss tastes like chocolates and lip balm.  

Akaashi pulls away, you finally dare to look at him and your heart skips a beat at the sight of his flushed cheeks and the way his breaths seem labored. He is just as breathless as you are.

His hands are still holding your cheeks.

You feel them tremble against your skin.

Before anything else could happen, impulsivity pushes you to pull him in again by the collar of his uniform. Until his lips are flush against yours for the second time because once is not enough.

Your grip on his clothes tighten.

Ah, you're probably going to buy chocolate-flavored lip balm soon.

Maybe it's something entirely different.

Being with Akaashi means a good morning text by the time you wake up and a goodnight text before you sleep. The sight of it is enough to make you kick your feet in the air, heart acting like drums as they beat against your hollowed ribs. 

Being with Akaashi means little study dates in the library, tucked in some corner where no one will interrupt you both. He leaned towards you, voice patient when he said, “Now you have to convert it to moles.” He nods along when you do it correctly, but is quick to correct you when you get it wrong. And in turn, you help him review for tests you knew he could do on his own.

“But I want to do this with you.” He said, when you mention that he can probably review this by himself. Akaashi stares at you. As you stare into his blue eyes, you realize that it’s really easy to fall a little deeper, until you’re neck deep and your heart swells.

You smile. “Okay… let’s continue then.”

You remember that the first time the two of you decided to go on a real, official date, it’s in a botanical garden. The coming of Spring has driven the both of you to visit one. That is what gets you on a train going to Kyoto, your lips curved into a smile as you show him the destination - Kyoto Botanical Garden. You’ve already told him about this, knowing that he would appreciate having the chance to make a loose plan the two of you can follow to make the most of the day.

Akaashi doesn’t say much, he only says that he’s looking forward to it, as well. A part of you is nervous that he’s pretending - ah, maybe this is an elaborate prank and Akaashi Keiji is much more cruel than you think - but before you can overthink it any further, Akaashi clamps his hand on top of yours, intertwining them securely.

You lean on his shoulder.

Akaashi tenses.

Immediately, you move to pull away, only to have his unoccupied hand pat your head, gently guiding it back on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs softly, “it’s my first time being like this, so I didn’t expect it.”

“Oh… it’s fine.” You smile to yourself, giving his hand a little squeeze.

The world falls silent. You think to yourself, ah, could this get any better?

Akaashi turns and places a soft kiss on top of your head and you think - yes, yes it can.

The two of you arrive at the garden at exactly 11:07 AM. The moment you do, you find a good place to snap a picture of both of your shoes. It’s followed by a selfie near the gates, making you glad that you brought your selfie stick along.

Akaashi steps close to you as the two of you pose for the picture, his hand finding your waist as natural as the leaves falling from nearby trees. And perhaps a part of you falls along with them as you feel his hold. You’re quick to take pictures, walking around and talking with him as you did.

Your feet lead you to the Rhododendron Garden. You feel your breath taken away by the sight of the flowers. You lead him nearer, taking pictures of the pink, red, and orange flowers. Akaashi’s hands are the ones who stop you from touching them.

“They can cause skin irritation.” He says simply.

You turn to him. “How did you know?”

He looks back towards you, “Research.”

A soft chuckle leaves your lips and you tease him, “Wow, I didn’t know you were such a nerd.” You stuck your tongue out to him playfully, making him huff a little. “Was it for an assignment? Or a project?”

“No.” He answered, holding your hands again.

“Then for what?” You smiled.

“For you.” He murmurs. “Plants and flowers are beautiful, yes, but I didn’t want to risk you getting harmed if you accidentally touch or eat one.”

“Eat one?” You asked. “You think I would eat a flower?”

“...yes.” He said, almost slowly as his eyes flicked to the side for a moment before his sight trails back to you. “I simply want to keep you safe and sound-” His explanation is cut off by the sound of your laugh, loud and kind of boisterous. He looked dumbstruck - a part of him had expected you to get offended… a part of him did not realize your laugh sounded this beautiful.

“Fine, whatever.” You chuckle, trying to brush it off and ignore the blush that has risen to your cheeks. “Whatever you say, I guess.” And if you hold his hand a little tighter, Akaashi speaks nothing of it. Instead, he gives your hand a small squeeze.

You venture towards the Rose Gardens, past a section of the Botanical which was fashioned to look European. You bend down a little, taking photographs of the flowers. "They're beautiful." You smile, eyes following the way they sway in the wind.

You don't see the way he looks at you - you are far too distracted by the roses to see it.

He says, "Yes, they are."

His gaze burns.

You end up walking along the central lawn, walking into a homey cafe as Akaashi holds your hand. “Lunch first, then we go to…” You scroll along your phone, where you have a map of the place saved. "The Japanese Gardens, right?”

Akaashi nods as the two of you set down your things. You sit in front of each other, quickly deciding on what you’ll get. Soon, he leaves you to get your orders, you stay seated, waiting patiently. When he gets back, he carefully places your Udon Noodle Soup in front of you, followed by a glass of water. On his side, he places a bowl of Katsudon. Followed by this is a plate of gyoza, which came with a small container for the sauce.

He smiles, “Be sure to eat well.” You can only nod as the two of you start eating, hands gripping your chopsticks securely. Somewhere in the middle, Akaashi catches you giving small glances towards his Katsudon, without hesitation, he picks up a piece and extends his hand out towards you. “It’s tasty, try it.”

You hesitate, before deciding to eat it. You lean in, taking it from his chopsticks and chewing slowly, nodding as he asked if you liked it. Your eyes meet. You are still leaning in a little and as if impulsivity possessed you, you decide to rise a little, meeting his lips with your own - and somehow, his Katsudon tastes a little better when it comes from his lips.

Akaashi chuckles, looking away a little as a soft blush rose from his neck.

The two of you eat quietly after that, stealing glances, sharing portions of your food as the two of you take a quick rest from walking. Deciding to take your time finishing the portion of gyoza left, Akaashi rose from his seat, taking the one beside you, instead. You spend the rest of that time talking softly, laughing and taking cute little pictures. You take a note to make a scrapbook soon - it’s the first time you’ve ever felt like this and every single part of you longs to simply capture this very moment and live in it forever.

The two of you leave soon after, making your way towards the Japanese Gardens.

He holds your hand as you walk, his fingers slotting between your own and you can’t help but wish that moments like these lasted for eternity.

Akaashi walks you home after your date. He leans towards you, gently pushing his lips against yours. When he pulls back, you have to blink multiple times to get back to your proper senses. He gives you a small, transparent box. You look up and take it from his hands, carefully holding the box as you gazed at the potted, succulent plant inside the box.

“I bought it for you while you were away for a bit.” He said, “I hope you take care of it.”

“Of course I will.” You smiled. “Thank you, ‘kaashi.”

Akaashi smiles, kissing you again, just as soft as the last time. “You’re always welcome. Let’s do this again soon.” He said after pulling away. You nodded, making him smile a little wider. “Goodnight.” He said, followed by a sweet, soft murmur of your name - and it was as if each syllable became priceless when he said them.

“Goodnight, Akaashi.” You smile.

He's so easy to love, isn't he?

Akaashi Keiji shares one of his earphones with you while the two of you sit next to each other. The first song he plays is always a love song, followed by whatever song is next on the playlist. You actually have your own playlist with him, titled 'A Dream Come True', each song was the answer to a question, making you chuckle as you began to compare and contrast your tastes in music. It's a bit cliche, but it's true, isn't it?

Akaashi Keiji always makes sure you're prepared for tests - because he knows that sometimes, you run low on motivation. So he brings you an energy drink, maybe a cup of coffee, sometimes even a whole meal. He stays up with you when you study your lessons, helping you out when you need it.

“Here,” he said, quietly as you both sat in your room, “I usually dissuade you from drinking these but I know you need it.” He sighed as he handed you the energy drink. He sits beside you, opening his notebook as he studies beside you again. As you drink, you take it upon yourself to hold his left hand, watching him scribble notes and make neat markings on the book he was reading.

Akaashi simply squeezes your hand lightly as he did, giving you brief glances when you move around before putting his attention back to studying.

Akaashi Keiji cooks with you. When you hit your first anniversary, he took it upon himself to invite you to his house while his family was away. There, the two of you spent the day making ramen from scratch.

He stands beside you as you massaged the dough, cutting up vegetables and pork as you did. Soon enough, you’re splitting the mass of dough, laughing as you both struggled a little to split it evenly. “If you end up with more noodles than me, I’m stealing your bowl.” You laughed, making him shake his head with a smile as he brought the bowl of flour closer.

You both start making sheets made up of the dough, folding and dusting it with flour before beginning to cut it to make noodles. "You're not cutting it evenly." He chuckled, looking up from his own noodles, which you saw were cut evenly.

"Whatever, perfectionist." You roll your eyes, though you do give a little more effort in evenly cutting them.

It doesn’t take long before you’re sitting next to him, assembling your ramen carefully. "Hey! That's my portion!" You gasp, stealing the piece of meat from him and hitting his hand lightly as he laughed. You place it carefully on top of your noodles, smiling as it all comes together.

He places a small container of chili powder near you, "Here, I know you like it spicy."

You smile, leaning in to kiss him briefly. "Thanks, you know me so well." He chuckled, watching you carefully sprinkle in some.

He puts your bowls next to each other, carefully placing chopsticks on top of neatly folded tissues. "Let's take a picture." He murmured. You snap quick pictures - both of the food and of each other - putting it into the gallery collection labeled as '1st Anniversary'. 

You start eating in the living room, opening the television and putting on a movie as you eat together.

He just feels perfect, doesn’t he?

It's been four years since then, college has come, and it threatens to split you apart.

"I can't this week," he said - how many times has it been?

You purse your lips, hand tightening your grip on the phone, "Again?" The question slips out of your lips like the falling of droplets. Small. Quick. Almost unheard. "You promised you'd come with me this time." A part of you is quick to give up - the Museum will open up again, don’t worry, don't worry - but the rest is starting to scurry away from him and your hands have started to ache as you hold onto strings that kept you together.

"I'm sorry," how many times have you heard that before?, "But this is a very important project, I can't risk passing it late."

More important than me? You almost bit back, more important than our 4th anniversary? You do not say it. You cannot. So you keep your true thoughts locked in the darkness of your mind and you say to him, "Yeah. Okay. Sure. We'll reschedule, then?"

"Yes, I'm really sorry-" you cut him off before he can speak your name, you knew that if he did, you would crumble and break and from the way you see it, Akaashi cannot risk being distracted by anything… by anyone.

It is the first time you ever missed an anniversary.

"It's okay." You said. You grip the phone a little tighter. You stare almost blankly at your computer screen. The phone call ends before you realize - you both do not say I love you anymore, the phrase has gone foreign on your tongue, like an unknown language you hear for the first time. And even your ears, which used to translate his playlists to that phrase; or your skin which used to shiver and recognize his touch as his way of saying it; or your lips which smile at the taste of his unspoken words - they neither hear, feel, nor taste it anymore. 

You place your phone away from sight. You do not wish to see it.

A vain feeling of burning grief rises from the embers of a broken heart - it threatens to choke you and leave your throat bruised and burnt from its touch. You almost want to beg for it to do so. You have a feeling that it would feel much better than this.

Loneliness. Your mind labeled the feeling - the emotion born from being alone; the feeling of being abandoned.

Your eyes trail to your computer screen. There, the sight of him makes your gut curl and tie in knots, the Akaashi you knew from two years ago smiles at you. The dimple on his cheek stays the same, so does the ruffle of his dark hair and the clearness of his blue eyes - the Akaashi you knew has gone static. 

Akaashi is smiling, wearing the outfit he wore during one of your dates in an art gallery - a simple, beige cardigan and loose pants, his glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. The sight of him from your computer screen looked so real it coaxes tears out of your eyes. Your dislike of drawing realism is dwarfed when it is him you draw. For how can it ever go against the love you have for him which always seems to overflow onto the spaces of your hollowed ribs?

It has been too long since you last saw each other and clumsy phone calls between classes or before you both go to sleep is not enough.

It is as if life has stolen him from you and dangles his image far from your reach yet close to your eyes - you see him in the darkness behind your eyelids, there, he has the chance to let you lay your head on his shoulder, the taste of banana milk sweet on your tongues, his hand holds yours and you are warm. So warm that you melt into his arms but now, in the cold and in the darkness of your dorm room, you are running a fever and your soul, which yearns for him screams his name but he does not respond in kind.

Instead, he says I'm sorry.

Oh how you've begun to despise that phrase.

You are left there on your bed, curled and crying and despising your reaction because at this point, you should have gotten used to it.

How many times has he left you like this, unknowing that it was a time you needed him most?

But then again… what did you expect?

The two of you have aged, you do not live just thirty minutes away anymore, instead, he lives two cities over, attending his dream college as you attend yours. You both chose this, saying that it will work, saying that you will make it work - but that did not last long.

Somewhere near the end of first year, your weekend dates have been forgotten; by the second, even scheduled dates are canceled and rescheduled, only to get canceled again. Now here, on your third, phone calls are filled with I miss you yet followed by I'm sorry. A part of you hates him for saying that, yet hates you more for sometimes doing the same.

It is as if life is determined to keep you apart, the same way fate strung you together, making you live half an hour apart from childhood to your teenage years yet never letting you meet until highschool - but ah. What if you two were never truly built to last?

Your nails dig into your skin, threatening to break into it and make you bleed. How many times have you done this to yourself? Hugging your knees to your chest, asking where it went wrong. You both tried didn't you? You both wanted this to work, didn't you?

Oh. What if everything is going wrong because you are the only one who wants this now?

You think. You think. You think.

What if, behind the closed phone screen, after the hung up calls and quick goodbyes, someone else wraps their arms around his shoulders like you used to. And it is them that whisper comfort in his ears and what if he is only waiting for the right way, for the right time to end it?

What if, when he says “I’m sorry”, he is only waiting for you to realize the silent goodbyes that follow that phrase?

Akaashi wouldn't do that to you… right?

You bite your lip, a part of you tries to pull you back but it cannot. You sink. In this falling, there is only darkness - you cannot envision Akaashi to be there to catch you, why hope that he will when you know that he is not there?

But you trust him, don't you?

And you love him, don't you?

You feel paralyzed on your bed, unable to move and unable to think of things other than the fact that he is not there. You felt as if you were going crazy.

Your roommates have come and go to tell you to eat, but your lips only move to give a half-hearted excuse that you aren’t hungry yet - in truth, you have no appetite at all, even as your stomach churns and eats itself from the inside. 

There’s a knock on your door. A part of you wishes it is him. The rest know it’s not.

It’s your roommate, they tell you that you should eat soon, it's late and you shouldn't skip dinner. "I know you're on a diet," they said, "but you haven't eaten properly in weeks. I don't want you to get sick, okay? Please eat dinner soon."

"I will." You respond - you will not. You hear their footsteps retreat, making you close your eyes as you try to fall back asleep.

But really, why do you love him?

You wake to the sound of knocking. Someone asks if they can come in. You grumble and say whatever comes into mind - "Leave me alone, go away." They knock again and apologize, and finally you relent - "Fine, come in, whatever." You huddle a little closer to your blankets, curling up as you hear the door open and their footsteps are heard as they walk in.

They close the door. You hear a soft click as they lock it.

They sit on your bed, you feel it dip under their weight. At this point, you can't find it in yourself to care if they end up being a serial killer or whatever - a thought that you'd probably regret in the afterlife, if ever.

They brush a hand through your hair, before you hear a sigh. They lift your blanket, settling beside you and putting a loose arm around your waist. They kiss your hair and come a little closer.

They utter your name and ask if you're asleep - you cannot find it in yourself to reply. So you pretend. You act like you're asleep, even if you knew that they probably know you aren't.

He doesn't tell you that he loves you.

When you truly wake hours later, it's near the afternoon, you sit up and feel their arm fall from its place on your waist. You look to the side and see him right there - Akaashi Keiji, warm and asleep as he breathed softly.

"So it wasn't a dream." You mumble to yourself. "You're really here."

You can't help but reach out to touch him. Your touch alone is enough to stir him awake, his eyes fluttering open and immediately focusing on you. His soft utterance of your name is enough to make you draw back. Just hours before, you had so much to say, but now that he was here, your parched throat could not bear to say anything.

“What happened?” He asked, getting up from the bed and holding your hand gently. “I hear you haven’t eaten properly in weeks.”

You sigh and shake your head, "It's nothing. It's late, Akaashi, you should get back to your dorm."

Akaashi shakes his head, looping his hand around your wrist and pulling you back. "Wait! I… I wanted to talk." He said. "About us."

Ah. Here it is. 

The thing you have been dreading - the coiled dread in your gut wakes, slithering up your spine until it curls around your lungs and heart. "What is it?" You ask.

"Why don't we go to the living room? I'll cook you up a meal as we talk." He said.

"Not here. The others-"

"I asked for a favor. They're out right now. For the entire day." He said. "I know you like privacy and I didn't really think you would be up for going out."

You nod hesitantly. "Fine. Let's get this over with."

You sit on the chair in front of the counter, he grabs the apron from the rack and begins to talk as he opens the refrigerator. "Is Omurice okay with you?"

"Yes but- actually, they cooked last night, there's probably still some leftovers from dinner. I can just eat that." You said, rising from your seat as the ache in your bones started to come back.

"Sit down," he said - it's the first time you've ever heard him sound so forceful. "Please… just… sit down, okay?" He turns towards you and smiles, "Let me take care of you."

He doesn't buy you your favorite meals.

He grabs a chopping board as he takes out the ingredients, along with the leftover pork chops from last night. He heats it up as he begins to chop portions of carrots and potatoes. "I'm not sure where to begin," he said.

"You're doing just fine- after that you just have to make fried rice then-" Your rambles are cut off.

"You know that that's not what I meant." He sighed.

"Well maybe I don't want to talk about it." You said, "Maybe I'm not ready to let you go- Akaashi, we've been together for four years, I'm not going to let you leave me like this." You look down, trying to hide the tears forming in your eyes.

"Leave you?" He asked. "Why would I leave you?"

You look up, "Is that… not what you're here for?"

Akaashi blinks at you, opening his mouth as he tries to conjure the right words, "I'm not- I didn't come here to break up with you."

You sat up a little straighter, the tears in your eyes backtracking and retreating back into their ducts. "Then what are you here for?"

"To apologize." He said, "And to talk about what we want to do next - if anything, I've been anxious you'll break up with me." He turned back to the vegetables he was cutting, his eyes blinking rapidly as he tried to blink the forming tears away. And perhaps he is just as heart broken as you have been.

"I couldn't come yesterday because of the project so I wanted to make it up to you today. Then I heard you weren't eating well so I came late into the night yesterday as soon as I finished the project but well… you were already resting, I think." He said, "I'm sorry that I slept next to you last night, I know I didn't ask for your permission. I just- I just couldn't help it, I guess."

He chuckles. You watch him mess up a little as he wiped at his forehead - he's nervous. You've never seen him act like this before. He opens the stove and adds a slab of butter into a pan, letting it heat up for a bit before he adds cooked rice. It's followed by the vegetables he cut up. As he cooked, he said, "I wanted to make it up to you. Everything that I've been lacking and missing-"

"It wasn't your fault." Your mouth is quick to say it, even as your insides churn in glee as he begins to apologize.

"It was." He said, "I should've made some time for us, like you were doing. I'm sorry that I've been selfish for the past few months."

"You were chasing your dreams - who was I to stop you?" You asked.

He says your name. Softly. Gently. As if your name will break on his tongue if he says it any differently. "It's okay," he said, "I already know my faults. And besides… I don't want you to think there's something wrong with you or that I've fallen out of love with you or anything like that because I haven't."

He plates the fried rice, setting it on the counter. He breaks two eggs into a bowl, adding a little salt before beating it. 

What passes is a moment of silence. You watch, eyes trained on the fact that he is here - how many nights have you lain awake, wishing for the stars to bring him back to you?

You look down, there is a voice in your head that says you should break up with him - make him feel as desperate as you did, it said, hurt him as he has hurt you. And yet, you don't. Perhaps you love him too much to do so.

Sometimes love is letting go, the voice said, it questions you, what makes you think he won't just neglect you again? You are as expendable as the eggshells he broke and got rid off moments ago, what makes you think he will keep on loving you as he used to?

You play with your hands, heart beating a little quicker and harsher against the bones of your ribs. What if he finds someone else? It will hurt more if you continue, just leave now - that way it will hurt once then never again.

Do not tell me that he's worth it - do you even know if he still finds worth in you?

"I know I'm pretty late but if it's okay with you… do you think that maybe we could try again? I promise that I'll be better this time." He said, setting down the plate of food in front of you, freshly cooked, and looking delicious yet your stomach tightens and churns at the sight of it - perhaps it is not food you hungered for.

He unties his apron, hooking it on the rack again as he goes around the counter to step closer towards you. He speaks your name but his voice is muffled by your own heartbeat and suddenly, you feel frozen as you say on that seat. Doubt creeps and breathes onto your neck, raising goosebumps and fear of being left - Akaashi speaks your name again but the tremble of your heartbeat does not cease. In fact, it grows louder.

It is the first time you felt alone even while in his presence.

He will find someone to replace you, the voices said, look at him. Top of his class and soon to graduate, blessed with good looks and a nice voice - men and women will flock to him, do you think you'll stand a chance?

But he loves me, you think to yourself, Akaashi loves me.

But does he? Tell me. Does he really?

Your hands clench against each other, almost threatening to break your knuckles until Akaashi's hand covers your own. Your hold on yourself loosens a little. His hands move. The chair scrapes against the floor. Suddenly, his arms are around you.

"It's okay." He murmured, kissing the top of your head, "I'm right here. I'm not going to leave." It was as if he knew what was going on inside your head, as if he heard what doubt and anxiety had whispered into your ears. "It's okay, I've got you. Cry if you need to, I'll stay as long as you need me to."

The tears come like the makings of a waterfall, dripping from your eyes and down along your cheeks leaving tear tracks on your skin. 

"I'm sorry," you said, "I'm so sorry, I don't know why I'm crying I just-" Akaashi shakes his head, wiping at your tears as he gives you a small, worried smile.

"It's okay," he said, giving your temple a soft kiss, "It's going to be alright." He rubs your back as you let your tears fall. "I'm sorry, my dear," he murmurs, holding you a little tighter, "I didn't mean to make you feel abandoned."

You cling to him a little tighter, there is a silence in your head that threatens to break as soon as you unhold him so you let yourself unravel instead - perhaps, you will find solace in the sound of your own breaking. You spend what seemed to be a thousand years right there in his arms, but even that is not enough to fill your heart's chasm. 

Your hands feel weak even as they grip him tightly, you cannot help but cry as he carefully rubs your back. He treats you as if you would shatter right there in his hold should he touch you too roughly. You don’t know whether to hate or thank him for it.

After some time, you are able to tear yourself away from him, sniffling as you finally settle and slumped down on your seat. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you with all of this.” You said.

Akaashi shook his head, gently placing a kiss on your tired knuckles again. “It’s fine, dear. It wasn’t your fault.” He smiles lightly against your skin, “Why don’t you eat for now? You’re probably still quite tired, so we can rest for a bit before talking about this again.”

You give him seconds of silence before you say, “Okay.”

He hands you the cutlery, watching with a soft smile on his face as he sees you smile slightly as you break the egg on top, watching the half-cooked yolk run along the fried rice. You give him a look, before pushing him lightly towards the container holding the cutleries. “Eat with me.” You say, “I won’t be able to finish it all.”

You pierce the heated piece of porkchop, bringing it to his lips as you say, “You need food, too.”

Akaashi sighs, before he eats it and gets his own spoon and fork. “As long as you eat well, as well.” He said, watching you eat a spoonful before he eats, too. He sits right next to you, silently eating, yet somehow making sure that you ate more than him.

“Let’s go out. On a date, I mean.” You said - impulsive and sudden.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

“Yeah. We can drop by your dorm so you can change, then we can visit the park or something.”

Afterwards there is silence as you take a quick shower while he washed the dishes, but as you stand under the water, the soft warmth is not enough to comfort you. As soon as you are out of his reach, the whispering voices come back. He’s lying, it said, like the others did. You feel tears swell up from their coves again, your fingers twiddling with each other as you watch the soap suds get washed away by the running water.

He will leave when the time comes, maybe when you’re angry or while you argue, they say, so that he’s not the bad guy. Your hands claw at your arms again - ah, you should leave the shower soon. You should, you should. Yet your legs do not move. You feel stuck as the whispers turn to statements - he will leave again, until you understand what his leaving means and break it off with him. He doesn’t say it but he wants to be free of you.

So you ask yourself - what can you do to make him stay?

How can you convince him to stay? 

You look down at yourself, trying to ignore the forming lump in your throat.

Your throat constricts, you do not have words left to say other than your woes and you’re sure it will only push him away. What if he really leaves?

But what else is there to give?

A knock on the bathroom door snaps you away from falling deep into those thoughts again. Akaashi spoke your name before he said, “You should step out soon, you might get sick if you stay there for too long.”

You say that you’ll step out soon but your mind is still trying to think of something - of anything - that might convince him to stay. It was as if your mind had forgotten the words he uttered of not wanting to leave you, perhaps you have been feeling lonely for too long that you have begun to cling to a person who will not leave you.

Or perhaps you just don’t believe him and his words anymore.

You wrap a towel around yourself, holding it against your body as you step out. You open your closet, putting on your clothes and buttoning up your shirt only to hear your door open. Akaashi curses loudly as he fumbles with the doorknob, and as you turn to look at him, you see the way his eyes are cast downwards, cheeks flushed red and his hands trembling a little from the panic. You didn’t hear what he wanted to say - nor can you find it in yourself to care.

This.

You stride towards him, holding his wrists and you say, softly, “Don’t go.”

He hesitated in answering and you can’t help but pull him into your room, locking the door behind the two of you as you basically crowd him onto the bed. He falls on the mattress, settling to sit against the headboard, as if he wanted to run from you. You begin unbuttoning your clothes, letting it fall to your elbows as you shrug it off.

Perhaps if you can make him happy now, he will stay with you forever.

You see his flushed face as he tries to keep on looking away and you say - almost a demand - “Look at me, Keiji.” His blue eyes flicker towards you, blinking quickly as you step closer, crawling into bed and trapping him between your limbs. His breaths come quick and heavy - nervous and unsure.

You settle on his lap, hands moving upwards to thumb at the edges of his clothes.

You ask, “May I?”

He doesn't even let you do what you want.

He answered, soft sighed as he spoke, “No.”

“Oh.” You say softly. He doesn’t want you. “You don’t want me.” You look away. Your hands fall, but before they could fall onto your lap, his own hands have caught them and brought them to his lips.

“I do, my dear,” He murmurs, “Trust me when I say that I do want you.” His blue eyes look up at you, “But not like this.”

“Then how do you want me?” You asked, sounding hopeful - yet for the wrong thing.

Akaashi looks up at you, thumbing and grazing his touch along the edges of your eyes. “When you’re okay, then we can do this.” He said, “But not when you’re like this… not when we are like this. I don’t want our first to be so unromantic and sad.” He offers you a soft smile, “Why don’t we just watch a movie? Or would you prefer a short nap? We can cuddle, if you’d like.”

“But this is the only thing I haven’t given yet.” You say.

Akaashi makes you look at him, “You don’t need to. I will love you regardless.”

Ah. It is the first time you ever heard him say that, isn’t it?

You can’t stop the tears that fall from your eyes and you raise your hands to sob onto your palms as you feel your soul tremble at the mere utterance of how he loves you. He loves you. Akaashi Keiji loves you.

His gentle hands pry your hands away from your face, chuckling as he leans up to kiss your tears away. You sniffle - you don’t understand why you’re crying so much but at this point, does it even matter?

At some point, he has maneuvered you to lay on top of him, his arms wrapped around your waist as your hands grip at his clothes. Your legs are tangled with each other's, your ear against his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat.

So… why?

"You won't leave me?" You ask.

His hands move to comb his fingers through your hair. He answers you, "Never."

"Are you sure? What if you find someone better?" You ask again. You close your eyes, exhausted from this day alone.

"That's impossible," he said simply, "There's no one in this world that equals you." He says it so seriously that you can't even remember what your doubts have whispered just an hour before.

"I love you." You say.

He responded, "I love you too."

Why him, of all people?

Years later and he kisses you at the altar, his hands cupping your cheeks as your lips meet for the billionth time.

He tastes as sweet as the first time.

In the after party, he holds your hand securely, intertwining your fingers and kissing you periodically. You giggle at this - it's one of the few times he was ever like this.

"You must've missed me a hundred times today." You say softly as you get ready for your honeymoon.

"I'll kiss you a hundred more tonight." He whispers back, smiling as you blush and push him away slightly.

"You're being stupid, Akaashi." You roll your eyes.

"Just for you, Akaashi." He winks, pulling away from you as he watches you blush a little deeper.

But then again, maybe the point isn't why but the fact that you do.

"Akana! Right here, c'mon!" You grin, clapping your hands as you cheer for your little daughter. Keiji is crouched down, bracing to catch her if she falls. Hikaru is standing on wobbly legs, holding onto your arms as he watches his twin sister take her first steps.

You hear the small patting of her feet against the hardwood floor. 

Finally, she reaches you just fine, her small hands clasping on your own as she smiles. You give her a big hug, grinning as Hikaru joins in. You carry Akana to the couch, your husband following suit as he carries Hikaru.

"They're growing up too quickly." You sniffle, bouncing Akana on your leg as Keiji sits beside you, letting Hikaru cling to him as he replies with a low chuckle. "What? You don't think they're growing quickly?"

"They're still toddlers. And besides, they'll probably stay with us until they're 18, calm down." He smiled, "Don't worry, you have a lot of time with them."

He leans forward and kisses your forehead. He pulls away, beginning to play with Hikaru as he smiles.

You watch him as you hold your daughter.

So this is what love is.