#ha. haha. I HATE MY FUCKING LIFE | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sanguinewolves · 17 days ago

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i think there’s some thing wrong with meeee

#ha. haha. I HATE MY FUCKING LIFE #WHY CAN’T I JUST DO MY GODDAMN WORK #FUCK #IT’S BEEN LITERALLY UPWARDS OF AN HOUR #I’VE DONE FUCKING NOTHING #IM ON THE BRINK OF FAILING THIS CLASS AND MY BRAIN JUST GOES YEAH SORRY IM NOT FEELING IT TODAY #WELL YOU KNOW WHAT BITCH I AM NEVER FUCKING FEELING IT #SUCK IT UP!! OKAY SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO DO THINGS THAT ARENT FUN. LET ME DO MY LATE WORK YOU PATHETIC PINK BLOB.#god. i need to start taking adderall or something.#rambling

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shaadowmilkcookie · 2 months ago

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If my self from five years ago saw the kinds of homosexual things I draw today. Good god .

#i have a little evil red book which i hate so dearly and am going to theow away as soon as i finish it AND IT RLLLLYYY. GETS TO SEE.#THE MOST HORRIFYING SKETCHES #horrifying to ME but its probably tame to literally anyone else my age HAHA #i’m still fighting the dredges of the solar sands deviantart cringe era………..#so can u imagine!!! how crazy it was for me to start an account ENTIRELY dedicated to one character…? like bitch i AM the sans fangirl now!#!!!!!!!#cookie run has let me be a lot more open with my interests as horrible as the thought is. these fucking cookies dude. good god.#ruining my life #i knwo i have the list of warning tags in my pinned but i might make a new tag just for art that makes me ashamed of myself #not safe for OP? LOL #anyways i need to feed the 2 other cookie run + g/t fans out there #WOW its scary to even say that. idk y!!!!#can u tell who should be asleep rn but doesnt want to go to bed MMMEEEEEEEE :333!!!!!!!#okay.#byeee <333 #nothingburger

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triglycercule · 2 months ago

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putting on mtt offical themes and fanmade theme songs and group songs when i sleep all so when i fall asleep and dream i can see them and see what theyll be like and then i wont have to think of them 24/7 through my day when i can just think of them during night. this possibility could either end up in me getting killed by them so gruesomely that i wake up traumatized or i wake up happy and satisfied from a restful night of trio dream time

#least deranged murder time trio fan #everyday i whisper to the world. make the murder time trio real please #it would absolutely be terrible for me. it would be bad for EVERYONE #but i just NEED to see them #i NEED to see what they would look like. sound like. interact with eachother #i unironically do this like every other night accidentally. bc i listen to their themes a lot #so when i put on loop and then get eepy i dont have energy to turn loop off. and its lowkey relaxing #you wouldnt expect someone to fall asleep to fucking red megalovania but I DO. I DO.#it hasnt worked yet to my disarray. i dream almost every night and not once has the mtt appeared in my sleep #CMON NIGHTMARE PUT THEM IN MY WILLING MIND. IDC IF YOU MAKE THE DREAM NEGATIVE #lowkey questionnaire is genuinely so peaceful to sleep to. its nice and quiet so you get the comfort of horror sans but also can sleep #makes me feel like im right there man.... dressed in a ragged purple dress and a missing arm..... looking at the axe about to kill me #anyways UGH i say this every othe week but i need the mtt to kill me. i know theyd do it quickly too #they wouldnt care enough about me to put me through torture and suffering thankfully. so they could be the angels i already praise them as #also if i have one wish in life its to see the trio bickering and laughing over my dead body as i bleed out #or is that my death wish. either one man i just really like them a tad #my friend and i have watched up to 0.3 pt 2 of underverse ‼️‼️‼️ shes about to get to 0.4 #i cant WAIT to see her reaction when ink betrays everyone. she really likes ink so far. shes an ink fan #it KILLS me (haha PUN) to try and hold back on spoilers but i must #anyways soon shell get to see killer's first appearance in underverse im gonna hype him up so much #she also hates nightmare. probably because i told her once that i wrote him killing a cat. but also she just thinks hes an ass #i was like hes serving his purpose thats exactly what he wants. he WANTS you to hate him..... youre just feeding him your negative energy #tricule rant #killer sans #dust sans #horror sans #murder time trio #utmv #sans au #eepy.... feel eepy...... its late. spent time outside today surprisingly

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kalashtars · 3 months ago

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if I think abt the state of trans politics in the US for more than .2 seconds I start wanting to sob god I hate it here

#damien.txt #obligatory obv this is not the worst place etc etc but like. crazy that i feel WAYYY less safe than i did 3 yrs ago!#like bro what the fuck happened. we were like...... vaguely making progress. why the fuck are we here #it really makes me feel sooo nauseous like i have so much anxiety abt it #so much that my brain starts convincing me that Maybe Im Not Trans bc i get so anxious abt it #literally hitting the 'maybe it's not worth it' mindset even tho like. id-ing as a girl makes me want to throw up #idk. idk idk idk. it's so shitty #unfortunately im a person that really values comfort. and like. it can be really hard for me sometimes to like #decide that those types of risk to personal safety/comfort are worth it. idk.#but also literally ive known i was trans since i was like 12. so. haha. what the fuck would i even do #also! this really has me delaying like. doing certain things with like transition #like lowkey im soooo scared to get top surgery with the current climate #even tho i might have the money for it in abt a year 👀#and like. really truly i cant see myself regretting it. like even if i didnt commit to other transition stuff.#i think i would like top surgery. like forever.#but man!!! im just so scared of getting hate crimed. ugh.#i need to learn to not be. so scared of things like this. like i need to learn to live life like how i want to #but also MANNNN this shit is so scary i cant handle it #yeah. idk what the solution here is. this has literally been on my mind for like a year

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moss-sauce · 1 year ago

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life really fucking sucks right now

#teddy situation has undone probably a year of recovering haha i fuckig hate landlords #basically told us we need to get rid of ted because 'he is a liability'#THE DAY BEFOREBTHANKSGIVING #and i was expected to be chipper and happy at family dinner.#naw man. i havent really left the house because i wana spend time with ted hahahaha #he's going to live at my sister's place but still. i dont want him to have to go #selfharmed as in nearly scraped the skin off the entire back of my left hand #WAS HIT WITH 'I HONESTLY FIGURED/EXPECTED YOU TO (SELF HARM' LIKE DAMN HAHA #idk. i want to be hit by a fucking car. or anything else that will blast me away.#had another prospective friend end up being just a dumbfuck that wanted an easy lay #dad's been home all week #its just a lot man. and losing all that progress i worked hard for its another kick to the teeth #and its like. why should i go see my therapist again. im gonna tell her whats wrong. im gonna cry. she oretends to care. i come home #i just dont want to be here anymore. i dont. i keep hoping for things to get better because thats what im told to do and things get worse #i cannot live the rest of my life like this. im allowed to be selfish and say it isnt fair to me. and nobody should be stucj dealing with me #im not gonna have a happy ending like all my friends did. im gonna be lonely and suicidal until i finally get thr balls to just fucking doit #local idiot sad

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hella1975 · 2 years ago

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by pure evil accident taob zuko's current mental state is the exact same as the one ive been stuck in for the past few weeks and that's a bit funny to me. like i started writing this chapter months ago and knew what i was doing with it even longer ago and suddenly ive manifested it into reality. we are both facing the horrors rn

#when the angry character finally learns to acknowledge their rage not as its own problem but as a coping mechanism to the problem #& faces at once the relief of finding the source of all this anger & the horror of realising that the anger itself was never the final boss #and it leaves them in a depressive state where they actually MISS the anger because at least that was active and - in a sense - dignified #whereas this just feels stilted and mopey and like each day is passing and you're losing time doing nothing #but you cant shake it anyway and wow im no longer talking about zuko!!!! we stay embarassing ourselves over taob!!!!#like i realised just now while staring off into space stirring my tea that the reason this particular depressive episode has hit me so hard #(aside the fact it's been a pretty extreme one and my paranoia has rlly flared up to the point ive felt honest to god CRAZY lately haha)#is because it's so DIFFERENT to how i usually respond to feeling like this #like normally my temper gets very quick and i completely isolate and i get mean and sharp #and i convince myself that everyone is out to get me and/or hates me and therefore i must manipulate everyone in my life #and ofc NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE A GOOD RESPONSE. I AM NOT PROUD OF THEM #THEY ARE ALSO NOT NEARLY AS BAD AS HOW I USED TO BE HENCE I KNOW I AM GETTING BETTER #SLOWLY PAINFULLY WITH MY NAILS DIGGING IN THE DIRT BUT I AM GETTING BETTER ALL THE SAME #but STILL despite how awful those things are they're also very external. like i hurt the people around me in order to protect myself #and there's a dignity to that. there's more control there even if ultimately it's a lack of control causing it #like i have some fucked opinions from my upbringing and ik that like im quite a selfish person and it's bc i was raised to truly believe #that hurting others is always optimal over letting myself be seen as weak. like if my options are to hurt someone even someone i love #or let myself be vulnerable then sometimes i STILL will pick the former (it used to be all the time though <3 progress is progress)#and anger has always been sold to me as a very dignified STRONG emotion and it's how you're SUPPOSED to respond to badness #otherwise you're weak and a baby and pathetic etc etc #and just bc you know something is wrong doesnt mean you didnt internalise the fuck out of it anyway #like i will always see anger as the 'dignified' emotion and unlearning it regardless of that has been one of the hardest things ive done #('wow hella your own journey with mental illness is the literal exact same as taob zuko's-' i will hospitalise the both of us)#whereas currently ive just been sad and pathetic and oversharing to anyone who will listen and desperate for someone to look at me #and be like 'you're not okay' and to fix it FOR ME. like im not ANGRY im SAD and im not used to that response #AND GUESS WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS THIS CHAPTER BY PURE FUCKING COINCIDENCE?? LITERALLY WHAT #like it's been happening for a few chapters that we're finally moving from anger to sadness on my unofficial healing chart #ever since zuko's outburst with hakoda when zi se had that tantrum #but this is the first time we see Sad Coping Mechanism as a response to a problem instead of Angry Coping Mechanism #taob updates

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orcelito · 8 months ago

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Omfg I never actually posted about this but just like 2 days ago I realized that no it is Not normal to experience lightheadedness near daily when I've gone just a little too long without eating

I looked it up and apparently lightheadedness/dizziness CAN be a part of fibromyalgia (which I think I have for a number of different reasons), so like. It all makes sense.

Fuckin fibromyalgia. It's the source of like 95% of my physical problems, I swear. Every Damn Thing can be traced back to it. What a pain.

#speculation nation #'what a pain' haha get it bc chronic pain #frankly speaking the chronic pain part of it isn't the Worst. it's only a few times a month that i get my arm and leg aches #(though sometimes ill have bouts that last longer. like in january i think when i had arm aches for over a Week)#then again my rib cartilage inflammation is a permanent thing. my ribs Always are fucked up.#and i dont know 100% that it's bc of fibro but this condition has been linked to fibro and it didnt go away with anti-inflammatories So #in the end the pain isnt my biggest concern for treating my fibro. aside from the frequent headaches. i Would like to counter those.#what i really need is help with my chronic fatigue and weakness spells #i hate how fragile i feel so much of the time. bc im NOT weak. for my size im actually surprisingly strong.#but im quick to tire and if i push myself too hard then im practically bedridden #i will literally get symptoms of sickness if im too fatigued. including nausea and coughing and headaches #all fixed after ive gotten some rest. so im not Actually sick.#im tired and fed up with how finicky my body is and how i have to eat on time always or i'll be threatened with passing out.#havent passed out Yet but ive had some times where i end up Having to sit bc i get tunnel vision and my scalp is prickling #and it feels like my brain is squeezing and i know i Have to sit down Right Now #idk. there are many things like this. and i am sooooo tired of it.#i want a fibro diagnosis so i can actually get some help for the things that make life so hard to live.#im not depressed im just chronically fatigued. and so very tired.#give me some Energizing Meds or smth. help me please 😭😭😭 i hate living like this 😭😭😭😭😭#i wanna be able to do things without being bedridden for the rest of the day 😭😭😭😭 please 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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leatherbookmark · 2 years ago

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an interesting thing abt jgy antis is like. where is the source of their, shall we say, negative opinion of jgy? like, 1. jgy is a villain, he does horrible things with no remorse, he’s willing to do everything to achieve his selfish, egotistical goals. --> 2. the source of this claim: this, this and this scene. --> 3. alright, but to me -- says someone who’s not an anti -- this reads differently. that he did all those things, and did them on purpose and without remorse, is not that obvious to me. why do you think that? --> 4. well, obviously because he’s a villain and does horrible things with no remorse.

like... he’s evil because he does bad things, and he does bad things because he’s evil. i’m interested in how antis came by those opinions, but a, unfortunately i have them all blocked, and b, even if i or someone else made a poll, it wouldn’t be authentic because no sane anti is going to say “well, people hated him and wrote all those things about him on twt, so i started hating him as well”, or “i only care about wgxn, you could sell me anything about other characters if your arguments were convincing enough because i zoned out during the parts when wgxn weren’t on screen/pages of the book”. it’s all “written in the book/shown in the show” and “logical arguments you’d agree with if only you could read”.

#thinking back to my early c/q/l days where i reblogged this dumb ass meta abt how jgy FOR SURE pushed lxc away because he WANTED HIM #to be tormented by uncertainty forever. like 'the worst person you know just saved your life; what now' kinda thing #i was like oh... THIS IS SO RIGHT... because it felt bittersweet and painful and i am Still guilty of accepting/agreeing with headcanons #or interpretations that aren't 100% what i think because i have this ingrained idea that other people are always more mature and #sophisticated and smarter than me and so they Know Better #the person (i think?) later went on to write a meta abt how jgy is a badwrong narcissist. so #(this is also the reason why i spent months praising and getting excited abt a fic where jgy was dating nmj for like a decade despite #not loving him; and why he cheated on him many times with lxc Just Because. i didn't think jgy would do something like that but everyone #else was like omg this is SOOOOO good so i was like shit i guess it is! IT'S SOOOO GOOD OMG;;;;; have i mentioned i have no brain on #my own? yea)#anyway i'm not gonna paint myself as this genius from the first watch because I Too had wgxn goggles fucking ON and didn't even notice #the box hand touch during my first watch. (have i mentioned i am not very smart or observant) and when wwx was whistling ghosts at jgy #and jgy was clearly Going Thru It in the guanyin temple i was like 'haha good for him'#but iirc i Was nonetheless drawn to him (although xy was first <3) and it was like. well he's evilbad but maybe he felt bad when he murdered #his child? --> well maybe he's not 100% evilbad... maybe... --------------> a-yao did nothing wrong and i will kill you if you even suggest #otherwise. (<-- a joke.)#anyway a whole bunch of antis seem like kindasorta stuck in that initial wgxn-centered; everyone else either has 2 personality traits Max #or is either wgxn allies (good) or wgxn Haters (we hates them forever!) just like. unwilling to accept any new viewpoints At All #and then there are Types of those jgy antis because you have people who hate him for Other Reasons and people who hate them because they.#honestly seem like they've only read moralistic books for young children where the brave kind hero is the one you're supposed to cheer for #and want to be like; and the villain has all the traits you're supposed to know are Bad (mean greedy selfish lazy etc) AND NOTHING ELSE.#its like that *man who only saw boss baby watching another movie* damn this is giving me some serious boss baby vibes ! meme #anyway. love it when the tags are 3x longer than the post. cheers #shrimp thoughts

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angeltism · 1 year ago

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out of the shower , feeling slightly less shit about myself (and way less like saying uncalled for immature mean things) however still dealing with the realization that I am possibly the most replaceable person in the world

#➳ valentin vents #oh hey and look I'm gonna give some examples that aren't people who can actually read this . nice #but anyways ! nobody i have ever left has given a shit about when i did #to both of my only ever romantic partners i was never important enough to treat well . yippee ! (okay maybe some saying mean things but #neither of them should see this if the universe doesn't hate my ass with a passion ok)#and in all my friendships if i was replaced with any other generic person with social anxiety it'd be like nothing fucking changed !#in short i am incredibly replaceable and uu should maybe all consider replacing me asap because I'm p sure it'd be very easy to find somebun #with all my positives/neutrals and wayyy less of my negatives . idk . just a suggestion .#can uu tell i hate myself very very much even though i desperately try to hide it ! all my confidence no matter how much it's gen in the #moment is still soaked in my self loathing from years of being depressed replaceable always 2nd priority (or less) to those around me etc #but hey it's fine I am sure that tomorrow I'll think I'm the hottest person alive just as I did a few hours ago and life will be okay . haha

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rahabs · 1 year ago

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My brain apparently picked “right before my sister’s birthday dinner” as the time to have a complete meltdown. I hate this.

#A lot has been going on guys I’m sorry #The job hunt is going like shit #My sister left her partner who has turned into an abusive shithead so now everything is a mess #I’ve been gaining weight again and so I hate my appearance and my body #And I just feel ugly and inadequate and like a Colossal Failure because that is what I am lbr.#I am nearly thirty and this is not where I thought I’d be.#I’m overqualified for the jobs I want and the only ones left are private practice family law which I might as well kms #But it doesn’t matter because no one is hiring anyway!#So I just sit and get fatter and uglier #And no matter what I do everything just gets worse.#I tried to curl my hair to look nice today for the dinner #Only for every single thing I tried to end up in failure as always.#I’ve never been able to curl my hair and I don’t know why #I tried multiple different curling wands and a straightener and tutorials and nothing. Just kinked ends as always #Which is story of my life. Every time I try to look nice I end up looking worse than if I hadn’t tried at all #Same with my bar call tbh I tried to have nice hair and now I can’t even look at my bar photos because my hair is so fucking ugly #My law grad photo was the same so I didn’t even buy them #Even my parents had to admit they were bad photos. I got hit with windstorm that ruined my hair #Again every time I try the universe just goes Haha You Thought You Could Be Pretty?#Please Remember You’re the Ugly One in the Family :)#The ugly one the failure all those degrees and nothing to show for it beyond an education that does nothing #Because I am nothing! Awesome #The only thing my law degree is good for is making my sister feel better #And I can only do so much because it’s a conflict otherwise.#Explain processes and likelihoods to her and support her as her ex fucks everything up and that’s about it #He threatened to come to the house and make things ‘ugly’ while I was the only one there (unbeknownst to him)#Then I dropped concealer on my leggings and it wouldn’t come out mmm #Just tired. Why do I try again?

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kaguya-muneuji · 1 year ago

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aurhjrghjgrhjrgjhrghjgrhjg thoughts .

#there was this guy i hate so so much at the store i went to hes a cashier and holy fucking shit i was filled with rage 0.0001 seconds after #seeing his fuckign face i literally wanted to punch him < has weak arms and could not do that to save my life! anyway it was all fine we we #t into self checkout. anyway i got some rly nice clothes so yayyyyyyy!! altho i had to try them on and that does not do well for my body im #ge. haha. anyway i hvae soooooooooooo many thoughts about en.stars x h.q au im so insane ive already assigned most of the cast a position a #d yes im basing it off that one user's art but like what can i say i have no original ideas of my own . aurghhhhh #nova.txt

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yuribalisms · 2 years ago

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I need to uproot my entire life and start from scratch or I’m gonna go insane

#‘haha funny joke post’ excpet…. not really #I’m coming to the realization that I am just Not happy where I am and I don’t think that’s gonna change so long as I’m here #and that’s why I keep spiraling into intense depressive episodes when I haven’t done that since I last lived with my mom #part of it is my job I hate it and it’s draining the life out of me and they’re working me into the ground #I literally can’t even take time off because they don’t allow it until you’ve worked there for a year #but also there’s no BETTER job opportunities here #and I finally decided what I want to go school for but also there’s no schools here that offer it…#the closest one is in my home town four hours away as some sick fucking cosmic joke #and I’m so…. so lonely #I feel so disconnected from literally everyone around me #I know my friends care about me and I’m important to them #but again it’s that sense that I will NEVER be the most important thing in their life someone else will always be that #I mean… I’ve never EVER been the most important person to someone before someone else has always mattered more than I have #which especially sucks when I feel like I only know HOW to be close with someone in an extremely obsessive way #where I would do anything for them but that’s not necessarily returned #but… I just think it would be nice to have a relationship with someone where the entire time I’m like ‘yeah but they would never do x thing #for you because they already have a person they would do that for’#(said person usually being a romantic partner)#and I’m just… tired #I’m tired of it and I want it to stop I want to be somewhere I don’t constantly feel like shit and go through frequent periods I wanna kms #and I think I’m gonna have to move for school anyways so…. So what if I really DID just start over somewhere else #I worry I might end up in the same rut but also I’ll never know if I don’t try #and I’m not happy here I don’t think I WILL be happy here I just want to live with/close to someone where I feel like I’m a priority #and my wants and desires are treated like something just as important as theirs #I dunno… maybe I am just in another really bad depressive episode again but….#I feel like I need to change something to avoid falling back to everything and everyone I normally do #kaz rambles

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1roentgen · 3 months ago

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#mmmm big shoutout to every iota of kindness and understanding leaving my body when people piss me off #i need to get out of this house #fuck everything mate like i didn’t ask to be born and what’s all this now #‘u have no redeeming qualities’ aight we been knew #three more years until i graduate *eyelid twitches*#tired. sleepy #i don’t deserve this life i have yet why am i still forced to live it #wanna drink but school alrdy started and my head still feels fuzzy from summer #haha brat summer real #i keep forgetting everything and things feel less real #binge drinking is bad kids #if i don’t have my brain then i have nothing #i hate being here it’s like im literally an angsty fourteen year old again #let me go out into the world #i will get hit by a car whilst jaywalking drunk and die but maybe that’s the way it has to be #i want to be a good person i just get so damn angry i wish everybody would leave me alone forever #is manifestation real? if so i should stop making death by car jokes but it’s strangely comforting #and may i say even …erotic …😏#everything will be fine i got my brain and i got music and i got my ocs #rn imma buy a coffee. and then i will drink the coffee. then i’ll do something useful #got shit to study now

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skid-the-mighty-poet · 4 months ago

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#Stunted growth #writing #poetry #2021 #august 2021 #august 27 2021 #the first Good Poem i ever wrote!#this was when I actually got into writing poetry. Id written some before but they were barely just peoms and all sucked!!#anyways this is about the fear that quarantine fucked me up forever. mainly socially #i was also scared my generally life decisions were gonna fuck me up #like i want to work in animation when im an adult but thats not very promising career so im afraid im destined to be a failure…#anyways i just uploaded a bunch of old stuff in reverse order so uh sorry about that #i try to make the navigation if this blog more bearable through tagging dates with three tags #but honestly the whole thing has a shit set up… sorry haha. Im bad at this #im very picky choosey and spontaneous with what i want to upload and when so it ends up wonky and inconsistent #i cringe at my old stuff (and plenty of my present stuff too)#but i still want to eventually upload most of my stuff even if i hate most of it… but first i have to work up the nerves to do that #and sometimes i dont upload new stuff because i want to have old stuff uploaded with more new stuff uploaded more recently #so when people click on my blog they wont see all my old sucky stuff first #but whatever. If you cant handle me at my 2021 you dont deserve me at my 2024‼️💥💯🔥💪#guess you just have to dig through shit to get gold. Sorry bud haha #okay visibility tags now…#quarantine #covid #covid 19 #pandemic #school #<- its KINDA mentioned. A little bit. And it IS a focal point of the main gist of this so….#isolation #social anxiety

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giantkillerjack · 30 days ago

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Catholicism.

[.... oops I accidentally wrote real analysis in the tags lol]

why is he like this

#les mis #original #the man is just too catholic sorry #poor guy #it's a REALLLLY sad ending if you're an atheist #at least if you believe in God then like. obviously he's going to heaven but if you don't it's like.#OH FOR FUCKS SAKE JEAN [uncontrollable weeping]#he got a new lease on life but that lease said 'you need to at the very least symbolically crucify yourself'.#and he combined that with the self-hatred and isolation that comes with being an ex-con in a society that hates convicts #and so by the time everything is settled and he has nothing else to sacrifice but himself he simply #kills himself in cosette's name and to cosette's utter horror and grief. because if no one NEEDS him then all he knows is self-sacrifice so #it becomes a rather chilling tragedy of what happens when a man is determined to engage in self-sacrifice even when it's not needed #this probably was not Hugo's intention. but to me it's about when self-sacrifice becomes self-harm and that is #the ultimate tragedy of Jean Valjean that I missed when I read it at 15. back when i too believed what my catholic upbringing had taught me.#like I became an atheist at age 11 but the idea that the only way to be a truly good person is to place literally everyone in the world #before myself even if they don't want me to .... I'm still trying to outgrow that at age 30.#and I did not become aware of it being an issue until like my mid-20s.#it wasn't until the past couple years I could actually articulate why the end of les mis was so upsetting to me.#probably bc to me at age 15 it was confirmation that the best thing i could do for the world was to die for it.#when really now what i see is cosette's grief and the utter lack of necessity in Jean's sacrifice and i think how much more beautiful it is #to instead LIVE for one another. because unnecessary self-sacrificial death is just suicide. jean commits suicide bc his belief system #and his trauma and his oppression make it impossible for him to see saving his own life as a moral good.#oh no I've written an actual answer dammit this was meant to be a silly haha post but yeah Catholicism saved him until it damned him #womp womp [uncontrollable sobbing]

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icamefromadream · 6 months ago

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Let's just torture ourselves and focus on our education instead of our mental health because this is the real world and the real world won't stop to care about your mental health so why should you.

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