#guys its over for me i cant take it here
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oh so you wanna fuck that monster huh. make sexy art of them without giving them muscles and/or making them look human
#spacie spoinks#this doesnt apply 2 monsters that are already humanoid#also its just a personal thing but muscles on male characters largely turn me off#hjdfkjsdf LIKE WHY IS STILL THE ONLY 'SEXY' MALE FORM IN FANDOM MUSCULAR AND/OR SKINNY#IM SOOO TIRED#yall be giving muscles 2 muh fuckers who DO NOT NEED THEM SHITS#IF YOU NEED 2 HUMANIZE A MONSTER IN ORDER 2 FUCK IT..............YOU AINT A MONSTERFUCKER DAWG................#''wow this character is really sexy 2 me b/c of how human it looks now!!''#you'll see the original design be some hulking beast who's shape isnt humanoid in the slightest and then some guy#will come along and be like ''hahaha yeah i wanna fuck this thing'' and then take the characters head and put it on a muscular human body#what is the point dawg.#this can also apply 2 robots#i dont caaareee if you have a humanoid design for 'x' robot/monster character#the problem is when you just. take a stereotypically attractive human body slap the character's head on here and then go crazy over that#and like the original character design does nothing for you.#dude. you dont want 2 fuck these characters you want 2 fuck a human wearing an object/animal head 😭#true monster/robotfuckers want that thang in its canon form. you cant ride w/us if you're like that dawg#dont mind me this is just a pet peeve i have#its even worse when its female characters oh my godddd#these muh fuckers dont want 2 fuck monsters they wanna fuck a human woman cosplaying as one#good LORD
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in 29 when satoko writes the letter to shinpei and tells him she wants to know more abt him its shinpei realising that hes a person to satoko and not a tool that he says he is in 4 when satoko opens the door to let shinpei in and her face is all red its significant because she’s trained to control how she expresses emotions and its part of being seen as being more desirable because shes a tool and an object for the kirigaya house and in 28 extra she says she wouldve been reprimanded for laughing too big so when she opens the door and shinpei hugs her she acknowledges that shes a person to him and not an object and the way the letter and this entire thing happens together is like shinpei and satoko realising that theyre not objects to each other but actual people they want to be with???? I NEED TO EAT GLASS
are you normal about firefly wedding or are you insane abt the whole being an object/tool v being a person vibe
#claude txt#shinpei is actually so insane because why did satoko go#go die. give me ur heart when u do.#next chapter shinpei is like my heart is already yours ill do anything for you i dont care if u treat me like shit OK BRO#shaking you. its about satoko choosing to become a tool for the kirigaya house v shinpei choosing to become a tool to satoko#i think in some way u can say shinpei saw satoko as a tool at the start too w the way in 3 hes like i want to wash ur hair everyday#and its like this delusional disingenuous fantasy#and how in 29 its i want to be with you and see your smile forever#IM NORMALLLLLL IM NORMALLLL#ITS NOT ABOUT THE THINGS ITS ABOUT SATOKO BEING HAPPY#IM SOOOOO NORMAL#satoko wanting to know what makes shinpei happy too to make him happy??#guys its over for me i cant take it here#IM SONNORMAL IM SO NORMAL IK SOJRISNSKSKKSKSAKSKSKNORMALLLLL#firefly wedding
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You know you're about to get the best T shot of your life + some strong opinions on the bullshit ways people are doing it when u go in to a rural pharmacy and the 55 year old guy behind the counter is so jacked he barely fits into the damn lab coat
#i told him i was having issues overcoming the natural instinct to not stab myself since i botched my last SubQ and would rather do IM anyway#and he shat all over the subQ method calling it an understudied fad#and when I mentioned that I exclusively do upper glute he was like YO EXACTLY cant believe doctors are out here telling complete newbies#to just jab their thighs its insane like bro absolutely#last time i went here i was quite a bit painfully injected by a practicum pharmacist who was i think trying to subtly hint that she#was bisexual. after i commented on her uh cowboy doc martens#yeah she harpooned me in the ass with a damn 21 gauge. to be expected.#this guy went right for a 25 gauge and aimed better too not to discredit women but there are some things u can only understand by being a#certified roidbeast#I been injecting this shit almost every week (did take few month long breaks) for 7 years#Just imagine the scar tissue you'd accumulate if you did 21g every time like some doctors suggest “because its thick” lol
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I'm at the painful "confession" scene during the kage summit arc. It really is so emotional, but also... hm.
When I was younger, like 13 or so, I was a big Sakura and Naruto shipper. They were the first pairing I read fanfic for even. And in a way, I do still enjoy the two of them together... but it's moments like these that really drive home the fact that it Doesn't really work in canon. Not the way that it's set up.
As Sakura puts it, "Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke! That's all you think about!"
She's told that Naruto has feelings for her and decides to use it to convince him to stop going after Sasuke. She does love him, but not in the way she's trying to confess. The love they share is one of comradery, not necessarily romantic. The love of two people who have gone through such pain together, and who have leaned on each other throughout it all. And the fact that she's turning around and saying she loves him "simply like everyone else", now... it's trivializing. And the fact that she's trying to convince him of this, the fact that she thinks she Can convince him of this, is pretty hurtful. They've come a long way from when they were kids, Naruto the goofball vying for her attention while she yelled at him for being stupid. Sakura respects Naruto so much more than before, and Naruto respects her too. So the fact that she's still doing this... She's desperate, really. She thinks the promise he made to her to bring Sasuke home is what's driving him to let himself be hurt over and over and over again in the pursuit and protection of Sasuke.
But she's wrong.
That may be part of it, but it's only part. Naruto wants Sasuke back for himself, too. He let himself be beat up to avoid selling him out. He chases after him with single minded determination. Sasuke is his entire drive to get stronger, to catch up, to bring him home. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke indeed.
As it is, Naruto knows she's lying to herself. And no matter what she says, he will keep going after Sasuke. Because that's just the person that Naruto is.
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#i think. naruto and sakura could potentially work out... but probably in a poly kind of situation.#because naruto will never forget about sasuke. and tbh neither will sakura. at least in canon.#of course i think sakura would do well to end up with someone more level headed. like ino.#someone without all the Complications that those two have...#but at the same time. i still do really love the idea of two people supporting one another through thick and thin.#i like naruto and sakura as a pairing of mutual respect. which is why it doesnt truly work as it is in canon.#especially when it comes to things like the 'joke' punches. but that's Everywhere in this anime.#female characters' anger being turned into jokes. theyre 'scary' but its not Actually scary.#naruto taking punch after punch from her for being foolish. yet it's all just a joke.#tbh id want to do away with that trope entirely. sakura has a temper but she's a good person. a kind soul.#i dont like that kishimoto has her being casually abusive with one of her best friends.#yet another part of the misogynistic writing that i hate.#sure enough. as it is in canon it just doesnt work. but ykno what. 13 year old me is still here. and wants to think of a way that it Could.#all things to think about. i wonder if there is any poly fic with the 3 of them. theres Gotta be.#though that brings the question of whether it'd even fit my ideal concept of the 3 of them.#it's certainly not the popular kind of thing lol. most people pick one of the three pairings between them.#but ya kno what. ive always been a multishipper. and poly ships really enable that truth of mine.#maybe i'll look for some poly fic sometime. just to see if theres anyone doing it like id wanna see.#if it's just two guys fighting over one girl or something tho im Outta there.#and ALSO theres something to be said for sasuke and sakura's relationship when they were kids.#there was trust there. confiding. he respected her. & in the end. he thanked her for her care.#cant be Just the two of them tho. for me. bc that erases naruto's significance to them both.#it is perhaps another thing i'll want to write someday. just maybe.
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don't ever look at popular social media personalities opinions on or check the tags related to a movie explicitly about the queer experience Worst mistake of my life. every single time a queer movie has gotten popular cishet people come out in droves to posit that Actually, my interpretation of the film where instead of being weird faggots everyone is normal is Just as valid as your stupid gay interpretation . and I'm meant to be like yeah okay
#yes i saw todd in the shadows tweet about i saw the tv glow yes im mad about it#for someone whose entire career spanning over a decade is built upon scrutinizing art#youd think he wouldnt have maybe the most dense idiotic take on this explicitly trans movie that ive ever seen in my life#“what if the curtains are just blue” type shit. never graduated from picture books type of reading comprehension#and i LIKE his videos and i have for years. this shit was just maybe the dumbest thing hes ever said#and i feel like since hes an out and proud lefty guy that people give him too much slack for very much still being white and cishet#not that those are things to be ashamed of but they do obviously color his opinions and the things he says#and for what its worth heres your obligatory reminder that this post is hyperbole lest anyone be offended#that im mocking their favorite internet personality. i guess#can we not just have literally a single thing that belongs to us. must we always cede ground to allowing alternative interpretations#to art that is explicitly about us.#god forbid. GOD FORBID anything not be for the majority audience. GOD FORBID anything be made by us for us#and GOD FORBID anyone ever have to admit that they just fundamentally cant relate to something that isnt about them#whatever i will probably delete this later because im not like a “discourse account”#and im mostly just ranting about a singular interaction i saw on twitter#but a lot of people have been having horrible opinions about this movie and its making me evil#through the teeth#i saw the tv glow
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have had like 2 mutuals getting into 911 so have been seeing a LOT of gifsets latley n will admit... that single dad firefighter kinda.. 😳
#show does seem tragically stupid as SHIT from like. watching it thru gifsets so. will never watch it bc i cannot get over corny plotlines#its actually so annoying bc sometimes i wanna watch a show just cuz the characters r fine but it takes me outta the experience when its bad#like i cant watch a single scene without being like god who wrote THAT line? god he must have been sooo embarrassed acting that out ect ect#ANYWAYS#im on tumblr rn to put off packing for my trip i gotta get off here im just wasting time ok bye guys..#if u see me active yell at me xoxo#🪽
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bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏
#i did get thr laundry done didnt fold it didnt take a shower#so thatll hopefuly be tmrw#i hope im able to do an activity with somebody tmrw.... the kids will be back at school so umm. no risk of weeman asking for my laptop in#the morning. or maybe me n lamp could play aa... idk#i feel like such a loser i go 1 day without bothering my family and im like wahhh im lonely. Can you shut up ..... we r better than this.#but wtvr. thats also a mean thought and i shouldnt be idolizing the way i lived last year. We were taking spongebaths and eating#1 bowl of soup a day crying ourselves to sleep every night and literally going weeks on end wo talking to our loved ones. so why am i like#We need to go back ! well i know why its bc i cant just let myself heal and move on bc of my stupid complex#and tbf i was very efficient back then. i ws able to do my spongebaths at least every 3 days and i did my laundry every week right on#schedule and i had a job....all it took was literally not being a person in any meaningful way FJFNGJGN. idk#it was very simple. its still very simple perhaps simpler (#no job) but instead i just feel guilty i guess. sbt everything#which i ws doing last year but again i was too out of it to rly dwell. i just cried at work a lot abt it#but now its like. i dont have a job to go to to focus on. my interests/hobbies can only distract me for a few days maximum b4 they become#nothing 2 me. and then im just back in limbo again and it feels pointless#and even when its a 'good' phase of something actually keeping me distracted from everything its like. not. all it does is ruin my sleep#schedule again yk. ik im literally the timeloop guy so u think id loveee Everyday being exactly the same over and over and over but well i#dont. bc they arent actually the same day theyre just reminders that everything does keep fucking going but im stuck. which is the opposite#of what i want. and what id have if the beautiful timeloop would simply rescue me. wtvr tho.... she doesnt even know i exist 😥#little joke. IDK. like i said its better ig than having a truly miserable day but. man. i wish everything was better#i ws gonna say like it used to be but. yk. ive been depressed since i was like 7 its not like. idk. i wish i was born different and i wish#my head worked and i wish none of it had evrr happened. but itis ok. i cant think of a funny cutesy alternative to put here so we will just#say nothing. yay
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Okay so basically the United States MINT of all people is going to be working with DC to make a line of coins! These coins sadly won't be in circulation (the things I would do to live in a world where I could get Batman coins from the supermarket) as they're collectors coins, but will be releasing over the course of the next 3 years, 2025-2027.
Designs haven't been released yet (the same is true for all 2025 designs) but we know there will be 9 coins in total (3 each year) with the first year featuring (of course!!!) Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman.
Although we know the first three heroes to be featured, the remaining six have yet to be decided, and it turns out the Mint is putting out a survey on their site to gauge which of a group of culturally significant heroes people want to see most! (link to the form is mentioned in the article above)
The considered group includes: Supergirl, the Flash, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Captain Marvel, John Stewart GL, Aquaman, Hawkman, Jamie Reyes BB, Robin (Damian?), Cyborg, and Batgirl, of which 6 will be selected.
As someone who does a bit of coin collecting myself (mainly circulation coins like the quarters sets, but I also have a couple proof and collectors coins) I think this is a really cool and interesting idea that showcases the history of the comics medium and these characters and their influence on American culture. Really excited to wait and see what the designs look like for the coins already announced!
#ABSOLUTELY INSANE TO ME#sorry just. only thing that could make this crazier is if these were circulating. i would fucking die actually lmao#i mean you could buy something with one of these legally but like youre an idiot if you do that so likeeee#someone showing up with the solid gold superman collector coin and its only legally worth a dollar lmao#not that someone would do this but future generations/archeologists finding a coin in some ruins and it just has like. batman on it#amazing to me#also just the transition from us currency having all fake people (lady liberty some random native american guy etc.) and then going to real#people and presidents then expanding that to honor people that they believe should be honored (think the harriet tubman coin set right now)#and representing beauty and innovation and culture through representation of the states#only through that lens to swing back around and have fake people on the coins again in the form of the freaking dc trinity. insane to me#no one ever gets me when im nerding out over coins its okay. at least its not postage stamps (i actually do have some special postage stamps#its like 1 sheet though it was for the 2017 eclipse and the image changes from totality to the moon with the heat of your finger theyre so#cool okay) anyways i like dont really know that much abt coins lol i originally saw a post abt this on reddit 💀 lol and had to check this#was real which is insane. anyways my dad got my all my coin stuff ive got a proof set from the year i was born albums to hold the 50 states#and national parks (america the beautiful but its 90% natl park designs lets be honest here) quarter collections as i find them irl#(dont have an album for us women yet sadly but do have some of the coins) as well as a few dimes and other circulation albums i havent used#much. and then i have a few collectibles like the hubble telescope $1 coin the 50th anniversary apollo 11 one and the 2021 anniversary peace#dollar. though like not the gold ones or anything like that lol but yeah. i talk abt coins every once and a while with friends and i know#things but then my dad is in the car and its like nevermind lol.#also put a ? after damian's name bc theres a chance it could be dick and they just used the wrong picture. because some of the character#bios had names but his didnt and seemed very dick grayson (acrobatics mention “batman's partner” etc) but not so specfic exclude either one#and the pick was damian. but then the ollie pick was goateeless for some reason so who knows#culturally dick is more important but dami is current so idk#dc comics#blah#ive really been learning so much today. first all in announcement and subsequent leaks and now this. what a ride#also love how im anticipating and know future comics things lol. when did that happen haha. ive really transitioned from only reading back#issues and never knowing current events to following a lot of releases lol and somehow finding out about the freaking coin collection...#crazy how that happens#cant scroll up at that first image without losing it a bit still actually. what a world we live in. anyways take your bets who is gonna be
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it sounds so obvious now, but im pretty sure my physical problems rn can all be traced back to the fact that my brain and body has been in a constant hypervigilance and cortisol overload for 3 months straight. the dizziness, the blackouts, the acne, the constant nausea, the giant eyebags and sudden crows feet ?? Like yeah, no shit thats what happens when ur every waking hour is the equivalent of that camille preaker crying gif
#i know the fact that i faint every couple of days and go a little blind sometimes should be priority here#but it REALLY pisses me off how much and how quickly this (?) stress is aging me#id still like to look good even if i feel like shit. sorry#the worst thing is that im doing everything in my power to do all the right things#but since i dont actually KNOW why having sex affected me in such a weird way. I cant really take the proper steps to get over it#like.. i can treat the symptoms best i can but as far as the root of it all. i have no idea whats actually wrong or how to fix it#in some senses it seems pretty cut and dry- i cant remember my childhood. i was neglected. i have a bunch of issues#i have sex for the first time. i stop functioning. i go into a depressive episode. i cant sleep.eat.be around people#i feel paralyzed by fear at the most random of times and have to hide in a small space to feel safe again. i cry so much i pop an eye vesse#like CLEARLY something is wrong. and just in an objective sense it sounds like something bad happened a long time ago associated with sex#however ! life is more complicated than that and i think its unhelpful to make assumptions (yes im aware i might also be in denial lol)#i already know i have trauma so its not weird for me to exhibit trauma responses. and maybe that was triggered bc i wasnt ready to have sex#it doesnt have to have a sinister explanation. it might just be as simple as me not vibing with the guy and regretting it later#idk. obviously my reaction to it is violently out of proportion. but i might just be a sensitive person !#does that sound silly or reasonable? reading it back i still kinda wonder if its just the denial speaking but idk!#i really really wish i just knew what was wrong so that i could actually start to move on#i know im bumming u guys out talking about it but i cant exactly talk to my family and im trying to not unload everything onto my friends :#bc as supportive and wonderful as they are i can tell they feel bad and have no idea what to say#which is fair enough bc its a really weird situation! so i dont want to burden them more than what i have to for my own sanity#tw#?#diary entries
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@ your tags on my post, i am shaking you like a maraca and yelling "YESSSSS"
i wanna see how kh3 tackles that whole thing because it's so eerily similar to what happens in the manga. and in the manga, he is in so much pain and agony, AND HE'S STILL FIGHTING. ROXAS IS THERE WITH HIM, HIS ONLY COMPANION, and then kh3 just tripped and fell on the glass table.
also, i think about this constantly, i want them to do something with it so bad.
YEA i cant wait to see the rest of kh3 manga chapters and how they handle everything, i especially loved the manga versions for days and kh2 and the way their stories were told - even tho kh3 has a Lot going on that might be hard to show well.. amano's been good at it so far tho so i have faith :]
but yeah that whole thing with Roxas is just . oughh. im not gonna lie even i forgot that Roxas was like. still there with Sora when he perishes until i thought abt it writing those tags but now that ive realized that. why the hell did they not take advantage of that!!!! like ok i get that it was more focused on the destiny trio in the ways i talked abt in the tags but yknow. what happened to "he makes up the difference"?? that wouldve been a great moment for it to shine!! ik they already make an example of it during the Xemnas n Saïx fight but still!!
part of me wishes Roxas couldve have more outward influence on Sora the way Ven did. granted, he arguably had an affect on Sora back in kh2, and while i dont remember if it was canon or even intended, that could be applied to both his appearance (his lighter hair, mostly) and his behavior (his hostility towards the organization members; ive seen this argued both as smth Roxas had influence over and purely based on Soras experiences thus far, and i believe in both personally) but Ven in kh3 was literally able to speak and somewhat act through him. im pretty sure this was meant to show that Ven was fully ready to awaken or smth like that, and that wasnt sonething that was needed for Roxas; hes alright, just needed a body/vessel for himself. but i still think itd be a cool way to express the earlier sentiment. and it wouldnt necessarily have to be Roxas "taking over" either, the manga shows very well how Roxas gives Sora strength from within and that he definitely does make a difference
to be fair tho...... whether that wouldve helped Sora in the moment that he gives in to his despair, im not sure. in kh2, both manga and game, hes in a very different mindset than kh3. in that part of the manga especially, despite thinking everyone (except Roxas) is gone for good, he still has the belief that they can live on within him. and that, plus the literal strength hes getting from Roxas, is keeping him going despite it all. in kh3 his self confidence is beyond fucked, and he truly believes in that moment that hes lost Everything, not just his friends. thats hard to come back from
i wonder if he were to remember that Roxas were still there, if that wouldve helped. whether for comfort in the way that hes not really alone then, or for motive to keep living bc if he dies then Roxas is gone too, or whatever reason, i think it couldve changed something, even if its just a little bit. hell, itd have been great if something like that happened afterwards in the final world. id like to think Roxas had a hand in Sora surviving ..... not sure how but its a nice thought. either way i do wish Sora n Roxas' connection and that moment they have in san fransokyo had more....... More. in kh3. it was a great opportunity that they didnt use/forgot about n im now sad abt it forever
#while writing this im now realizing that Sora rly just keeps going thru the 'the real answer was within u all along' thing over n over .#Kairi. Roxas. then Ventus and still Roxas#ANYWAY BACK TO MY MAIN POINT its part of why i love love love the manga i love how they handle Roxas especially#not that i dont like his game stuff tho dont get me wrong. hes one of the most beloved characters for a Reason#its possible that they didnt do anything bc they wanted Roxas' big moment to be when he comes back as himself once n for all#n didnt wanna take away from that maybe ? idk thats pure theorizing here#but also theres that mention of how Jiminy is still with him after death..... and how Naminé appears in the final world n all that.....#thats not related to the previous thing i mentioned it just. feels connected in a way i cant articulate rn#ok my ability to think is going down now thats all i got rn. ty for enabling me again i havent thought abt these guys like this in a While#god. i need to replay kh2 again sometime#kh#ask#storm-driver#as an add on purely for myself - the thing i said at the very beginning of the tags abt the people within being the answer#or important in some way...... he himself is included in that. bc of remind
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I love the imagery of the world encased during the activation of the infinite tsukuyomi. Unnatural brightness illuminating the gnarled branches and roots of a cursed tree encasing everyone in horrible pale cocoons. Imagine a world where that persisted. Eventually, you'd have the husk of that long dead tree full of bones and a proliferation of plants, fungi, and microorganisms
#bc i think it also hypnotizes animals? but like r fish under hypnosis? worms? bugs?#how far does the hypnotic ability extend? i like to think plants and microbes are immune#so you would just get a planet overrun by those guys#ugh. its so annoying that shippuden requires a premium membership on crunchyroll now#im out here watching boruto while shippuden is frozen in the infinite tsukuyomi for me lol#the imagry is just so cool. and its like that episode of the x files with the fungi lol thats kinda exactly what it is#bleh. i cant sleep so im thinking abt naruto. so it goes. i cant believe ive sustained this obsession consistently for over a year lol#naruto ramblings#someday ill draw 6 paths madara and the god tree in a way that cool and fucked up#bc i just love mokuton so much but planning that sort of thing takes so much energy. like i have a page in my prompt book for a garden#and i desperately need to make it a weird chaotic hashirama tribute. like fuse his dead body to a tree. but just the god tree would also b#good. ay so much to draw and im exhaust except is 3.30 am and i cant sleep rip#so im thinking abt ninja hypnotism#unrelated
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#its been a whole day im at parents house#i hate that every time we talk its always about how thin i am#how femme i am (i dont even being femme rn#like just call me a fag or smth....)#or have i met some girls (i dont even meet guys and im gay)#never about my job#am i healthy#am i happy#nope nope none of that#and looks like she keeps threatening to put me back to this house#since my last stay at home sibling will leave for work abroad#and im the closest to her since im only several towns over#i dont know what kind of bullshit shes gonna pull to evict from **my own house**#but im not gonna budge#im already so uncomfortable being here for less than 24 hours and i dont want more of this#the day shes gonna do all that im gonna fucking scream and act like a mad man until they cant take me anymore#you will never put me back to this house and forcefully correct me#fuck all of them
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Claws my way onto the dash after a million years just to rasp into the megaphone: fck american healthcare, all my homies hate american healthcare
#[ hello hello and sorry for my absence on here i have simply been fivehead deep in the suffering pit]#[ the fact everyone in my house has covid. i have all the symptoms minus loss of taste and smell. take tests and theyre all negative]#[ get a major sore throat to the point i think its strep- which i have always gotten very very easily ]#[ go to the urgent care only to get a mumbling wannabe comedian in a white coat who dismisses me at every turn]#[ guy makes very tasteful ‘jokes’ blaming me for being the one to bring cvid into the house. that even my mom. the carrier. had to step in]#[‘ we’re pretty confident i got it from a coworker!’ ‘ no matter what you say im blaming nore over here haha’]#[ then proceeds to make a pass at her and sends me on my way with an ‘ aw bud. it sucks. nothing i cant give you. drink water!’ ]#[ so safe to say ill be absent for a while longer . god bless merica ahhssj ]#tbd
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last
for realsies
#HELLO IM VENTING AGAIN IM SO SORRY#i am sick of everything the usual but i just need some fucking therapy and my diagnosises are taking too long because the system is shit#over here and i feel like i am a literal walking disaster a hazard to myself are my meds even working anymore idk? someone needs to lock me#in a fucking wardrobe before i loose my shit and do something stupid as fuck at least im self aware ok were growing this is called growth#wow ok amazing spectacular#like tonight ive decided i hate everyone again i want to quit uni actually might do it this time i just applied for a random job for no#reason i have a job but if i have 2 then i can over work myself to the max so i dont have to go into uni#i have three weeks off so now im cutting everyone off who knows how long this episode is gonna last for#i am loosing my god damn mind i do not want to do anything everything is so hard why is everyone so pressuring#i stopped doing some of my stupid habbits but now im just going full circle again so im thriving rn live love laugh am i right guys or what#AND WHY CANT I JUST HAVE A THERPAIST WHO CONTACTS ME ITS BEEN SINCE OCTOBER U FUCKING BITCH GO FUCK URSELF#anyway im in huge amounts of pain too idk what i do in my sleep or something but my shoulders hurt so bad#i hate wet tags on clothes when they stick to you throws up actually#i had stale fucking garlic bread today and i want to move out but if i move out then things will get worse for me#why cant i maintain a normal friendship without loosing my mind and hating everyone i mean no one knows my friends are pretty good with me#they understand but i dont know#ive come to the conclusion that i am just a shit
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haven't been here in some time but my laptop broke and im bored. do people still talk about their lives in tags
#also i have been vacuuming all morning which i despise passionately BUT buying myself this vacuum cleaner was the biggest self care#i was sweeping before. can u believe#also im moving soon and dont need most of my stuff so im giving it to these dudes who are taking over my lease#and they're so excited about it and its cute. was making coffee earlier remembering how this guy lost it when k said i was leaving my#coffee maker here.#im leaving the vacuum cleaner too. and my furniture#he was like oh i cant pay extra and im like idc? i dont need it its yours#my friends telling me to sell it because i got most of this new when i moved in 2021#idk what the point of this was. just thinking about it.#anyway im happy and also maybe a workaholic again#also being around kids is crazy. everything so different now
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maybe i start writing that new fic. as a treat.
#(long tags this is your warning)#everything is going wrong today but not in a magnitude where its okay for me to freak out about it#like. i woke up late. woke my sibling up. read fic. woke my sibling up (2). remembered having a different flavor of coffee creamer#leading to minor disapointment on my end. i wake my sibling up (3). i make another cup of coffee. i wake my sibling up (4).#pest control knocks and i have to answer the door and i just know that he remembers when i was awkward a few months ago.#i saw the recognition in his eyes. the old dog pees on the fluffy carpet. i have to clean that up. the dogs are barking.#my littlest sibling wants to set an alarm but the thing he normally uses isnt available. he's upset.#i tell him to grab the (no cell service) phone to do it. he cant find it. i tell him to look again. he cant find it.#i go in and i move a single paper and find it. “you have to look with more than your eyes.” the phone isnt charged. cant set an alarm.#i tell him to charge it. he grumbles. the other dog is whining because she's in naughty puppy jail (kennel) for being rude to the other dog#pest control guy is still here. i cant take the dogs out to teh backyard until he's gone. i cant go to the barn until he's gone.#i have a deadline. my littlest sib has a class at 4. my hands are shaking (3 cups of coffee)#being asked to do something stupid and unnecessary and annoying over text but its my grandma asking so i cant say that.#oh and also im mad because people are having Wrong Fandom Opinions but i am choosing kindness.#“if you cant be kind be quiet” i am so quiet. so quiet. not even complaining when they butcher the meaning of the media ha ha ha#SO ANYWAYS I THINK I DESERVE A NEW SHINY WIP THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT#GOODDAY. whatever im gonna go.... eat a cookie.#maybe my bloodsugar is low. maybe tahts my problem.
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