#guys i cringed

[zhounauts]

ROMEO & JULIET ──── pairing nrk x fmr warnings cursing wc 530 this story is so cringey to me i literally gagged at the last line

“my head hurts i can’t do this,” riki groans, sinking back into his chair.

“oh please, we’re literally only halfway through the fifth scene of the first act,” you chide, bonking his knee, “pick up your book again,”

“this is so ass,”

“what!?” you gasp, “romeo and juliet is so good,”

“of course you would think that,” he teases, turning to look at you, “miss literature nerd,”

“oh screw you mr. haven’t picked up a book since book club in fifth grade,” you snap back, “i’m sacrificing my time to tutor you, so stop complaining and read,” riki grumbles, but he relucatnatly picks up the book again, flipping through it with obvious boredom.

“okay,” you sigh, “how about this? let’s read the lines aloud and act them out, you’ll remember them better,” riki shrugs, “you’re romeo, i’m juliet. now read,”

“if i. . .profane with my. . .unworthiest hand? This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this,” riki starts off awkwardly, “romeo takes juliet’s hand?”

“no dumbass, those are the stage directions,” you laugh, “like this,”. you reach over to riki, grasping his hand with one of your own, as you hold the book with your other. you nod for him to continue, not taking note of the red blooming across his cheeks.

“my uhm, lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand. To smooth that rough touch with a tender. . .kiss?”

“good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much. Which mannerly devotion shows in this,” you raise your interlocked hands, letting go so that you can place your palm against his. “For saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmer’s kiss,”

"what the hell does that even mean? why are we talking about pilgrims? is it thanksgiving?? what are holy palmers? holy hands?” riki asks.

“they’re using religious talk to show the purity of their love,” you tell him, “read your footnotes riki, pilgrims as in worshippers. and the holy palmers are when priests put their hands together to pray. come on, keep reading,”

“Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?” riki furrows his brows, the words all jumbled in his head. he glances at your hand, still touching his own.

“Ay pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer,” you watch as riki grimaces, and you can practically see the gears turning in his head as he tries to make sense of the story.

“O then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair,”

“Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake. Come on, we’re almost done,”

“Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take,” riki looks up at you before his eyes go wide in alarm and he flushes red.

[He kisses her]

You meet his eyes, and burst out into laughter at his face. “did you just think we were gonna kiss?” protests explode from his mouth, and he sputters.

“no i—”

“it’s okay you were just in character, romeo,” you tease, “keep this up and i might have to give you a real kiss as a reward,”

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

Trans rights you fuckers. Y’all know who you are.

Just clogging your tags before you can clog the toilets with all your shit. No need to thank me, terfs <3

[reasonsforhope]

Sometimes you just have one of those moments where the progress we've made as a culture get thrown into stark relief. You look at something and go "Holy shit, that would never have happened when I was a kid."

Today, I had one of those moments when I realized that the teenage boys I'm working with are just. genuinely, openly enthusiastic about going to Build-a-Bear for their outing.

These are sixteen and seventeen year old boys! They just had a whole conversation about what to name their "cute", mostly new squishmallows! They're genuinely excited that they're going to Build-a-Bear this weekend and asking other kids to pick up specific accessories for them!!

Holy shit, that never would've happened when I was 16. None of the boys would have dared to be visibly interested - and neither would most of the girls! There would have been a million gay jokes and "Haha, you're a girl" jokes and "What are you, a baby?" jokes. Teenagers weren't even supposed to care about anything back then!

Less than 15 years later, and I'm watching three 17 year old boys treat all that as not even worthy of comment.

So let's call that a reason for hope. Even when the kids aren't alright, in some ways apparently they are alright. Go Gen Z, honestly. It's so lovely to watch you guys just openly doing and saying stuff that, when I was a teen, would've been a social death sentence.

[righteousenjoymentofthunder]

just. dropping this here

[paintedcrows]

It's really cute that you're gonna defeat me with the power of friendship and all, but again, I am the Devil from the Bible

(continued)

[soranker]

my girlfriend

[unpretty]

the ubiquity of disposable vapes with fucking screens and bluetooth connectivity and big fucking batteries you can't even charge that all get thrown in the trash is just. it makes me feel like we owe the guys with the big robodick vapes an apology. they were out here figuring out rigs where you only ever have to replace one little metal coil every two weeks, mixing up potions to maximize clouds while carefully monitoring their nicotine dosages, and they got mocked into the stratosphere. and now the bestseller at the gas station is a bootleg elfbar with so much nicotine it's terrifying. where is the justice.

[emilyartstudio-s]

chainsaw dud e

[fishonable]

how to show affection when you share a body

[pangur-and-grim]

this might be cringe, but we had to write 1 page of description about something and I chose my favourite object in the whole world

From how it looks, the statue should smell like algae and regurgitated milk (like an unweaned kitten, if it fell into a pond). In actuality, its only odour comes from the thick blanket of dust it wears. Its four legs are stout, toe-less. Its tail stands straight like the pole of bumper-car, eager and tensed to wag. Two wet eyes peer up. They are black enough to see your own face reflected. Under them, the tight line of a mouth, melancholic and imploring. 

Tapping its stout back (and leaving fingerprints in the dust) would reveal that it is hollow. A living animal might contain organs, and bones, and even a swallowed meal, but this creature holds only air. It can produce no sounds of its own. It will produce no waste. It will never want anything, nor squeeze anything foul out of its rear, but still it seems to beg for sustenance. Being frozen only adds to this tension; staring at it, each would wait for the other to blink. This is why a slab of plastic meat has been laid before it. An offering, like cream and butter for a fairy.

‘Frog kitten’ is how the online listing described it, and accordingly, it has an amphibious lack of ears. Its square body, shaped like a loaf of bread, is covered in mouldy splashes of night-green and white-beige. Two dabs of a cleaner white across its back only serve to emphasize the drabness of its majority. Five rake-marks trail down one side: scars, wounds, the bright green of its meat bleeding through. Could the sculptor have scratched it with their fingers, deeply and deliberately? And why? Why create such a young, sweet creature, and then harm it? 

The creature has no anus. The creature has no ear canals. The creature has no urethra, nor cloaca, no mouth, nor pores, but it does have two penetrating nostrils. If you shone a light down those narrow passages, you could explore the hollowness of its belly.

Touch the creature, and it is cold. Stroke it, and it is smooth, but speckled with the smallest of lumps and warts. It is dry but shines as though wet with perspired oils. You cannot look at this mute dead thing without seeing it as alive. The longer you hold its gaze, the less of the dust you smell, and the more of the algae and the milk. 

[starleska]

as a cringe selfshipper who's been in fandom for decades and draws nothing but blushy ship art, i feel so seen and so attacked right now 😂💖💖💖

[yeloenk]

"this ship is cringe"

my honest realest reaction:

got my first hate comments... felt inspired🗣️🗣️🙏

made em humans coz skeletons cant kiss :'-(

ink belongs to @/comyet

error belongs to @/loverofpiggies

both human designs by mee :3

[our-transmasculine-experience]

i wish every transmasc a funky button up for the summer

[housederiva]

Here's BG3's Sven Vinckle's speech before he announced the game of the year, it's something I think certain companies should keep in mind going forward... (also sorry for the 'yes' that's yelled in the background during it, I didn't realize I projected that much from where I was seated. I got happy about developers striving to be treated as people making art and not ticks on a spreadsheet trying to make ceo's more money)

[smallidarityfan]

"Fine, I guess you are my little PogChamp. C'mere"

~ Joel, probably

solo things cause procreate rescaling butchered the quality 😔:

[chialattea]

Oh so YOU GUYS can monologue for hours but my man yorick tries to have a nice conversation after regaining his ability to speak AND YOU GANG UP ON HIM???? I see how it is!!! The double standards are crazy!!!