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shelleymarietalks · 2 years ago

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It's been a while... Again!

My last blog was at the start of 2023 and things weren't too bad where my skin was concerned and I have realised it has been nearly 8 months since I last blogged which is good, as I only ever really blog documenting the bad days. I know people don't read these and I am probably waffling onto myself but I thought I may as well blog even if it's just to document this for myself to read back on when days aren't as glorious because my skins behaving for once and I am happy with that!

So... How is my skin? I did take a bit of a dip after New Year having flares a little regular yet shorter and allowing it to really chew away at my mental health to the point I went back into the pattern of freaking out and trying to search for a cure and trying other creams and supplements to help until I finally gave up searching and calmed the hell down about it. My skin settled shortly after (I do ride these rollercoasters of sudden flares and then settle within days with no explination) and it wasn't until I had an issue at work causing me to have a weekend of stress and emotional upset that I knew 100000% that stress was definately my main trigger. Again, once this was resolved my skin calmed down.

I am still using Cerave Moisturising Cream and after ditching probiotics, Apple Cider Vinegar and Raspberry Ketone capsules that I was trialling, non of which really worked and gave my body a rest for a couple months I started taking Evening Oil of Primrose capsules. My Mom gave me these when I was a child growing up suffering with chronic eczema so it was worth a go again right? Well it's either a coinsidence or a massive help but my skin has been at it's best for a while and alongside this I have been having a weekly session on the sunbeds.

Sunbeds... There are lots of theories on wether these help and support skin conditions and wether or not they cause skin cancer. Some find even the word Sunbed scary and my Dermatologist hates the word, despite prescribing "Phototherapy" claiming this is not a sunbed and you do not tan. Phototherapy did not help my skin, in fact made it worst and I did in fact tan! I have 6-9mins per week on the sunbed and this has purely been due to going to Italy in 8 days for a family holiday/my cousins wedding and not wanting to burn in their heatwave. I have noticed the sunbed has really helped with the elasticity of my skin, has decreased the dryness and given me a lovely glow which I usually struggle to maintain with Eczema and TSW skin. Just to have that bit of a glow has made me look and feel so much better, making those shitty skin days more bareable so it is worth that bit of UV fear.

My Dermatologist. He's Marmite. You love him or hate him. I used to love him. The immunosuppressants that helped and I reccomend them to anyone suffering the worst of TSW as they give you just that bit of life back to help you cope, but even now when I go to my appointments at nearly 4 years steroid free and 3 and a half years immunosuppressant free and am still questioned why my skins still improving yet I'm not using the things hes prescribing me and am still refusing topical steroids, immunosuppressants and now jackinhibators which is some new thing! I could easily allow him to discharge me but with having an auto immune condition, history of severe eczema, topical steroid withdrawal and still picking up colds, sickness and infections easily I think to mysef it is just 20 minutes every 12 weeks and he has been learnt to presribe these. I sound like I am against steroids and immunosuppressants and if you'd of asked me last year then yes I would of said "of course I am" but I have slowly let go of some of my anger towards it all and have learnt that everyone is different, medication affects people in different ways and unlike me it may be the cure for some but just not for others and you know what... That is ok!

This was only meant to be a little skin update, a short blog and here I am an hour later.

Anyway, I will link the Cerave Moisturising Cream and Evening Oil of Primrose capsules that I continue to use and take in the hope these may help others too, just like I hope my blogs do, even if it's just 1 other person searching for some support and help.

Before I Leave I cannot forget the incredible TCM accupuncture with Omie that I have been having to help support my skin, hormones, emotions and stress and I cannot recommend it enough but feel this deserves it's own blog which I will do this weekend with some supporting information from Omie (if she kindly agrees).

Until then, lots of love xxx

#eczema #eczemawarrior #formerbeautyqueen #beauty #bodypositive #sunbed #cerave #supplements #health and wellness

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thebibliosphere · 3 years ago

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Hi Joy! Saw you mention agonizing about getting a haircut in passing in a post. Can we have a hair update? Or what your agonizing about if you’re comfortable sharing?

PS please continue to bug us about Phangs. We love it and you 💛

Aw, thank you. I know I am most likely not annoying people with Phangs stuff. I just don't want to drive folks bonkers with it either lol. I am simultaneously my own biggest fan and my worst critic :P

And hair wise I actually booked myself an appointment this week! We'll see if I chicken out or not, but basically I am thinking of doing some sort of messy pixie cut.

I've been keeping my hair in a bob for the last 2 years while it was growing back in, and with some careful styling I was able to hide the patches where it didn't look like my hair would grow back. My hair is still thin in places and likely always will be, but it's no longer patchy and I have lots of new growth all over my scalp! The natural curl texture is also coming back too, so that's fun!

This does however highlight how scraggly my hair is past my ears and it's not a good look. I also developed a separate type of eczema on my scalp in the last year (just to keep things exciting lol), and need to wash my hair every day or my scalp starts to burn and my hair falls out. So y'know, that's a lot of washing, drying and when I don't want to look like I got dragged backward through a hedge, styling that I don't even like the look of when I'm done. And that's just energy I don't plain have.

Sooo... yeah. I am thinking of going full pixie cut so that it's something I can wash and dry in minutes instead of over an hour. And I'm aware it requires a lot of upkeep, but I used to get my hair trimmed every 6 weeks anyway before the pandemic, so that's not an issue for me.

I am however scared because change! Change is scary. But also I think some part of me just associates short hair with when all my hair straight up fell out due to illness, and I'm worried I'll just look sick rather than cute and idk. I am sitting with my emotions on that one.

I keep telling myself if I do it and I hate it, it'll grow out eventually. And in the meantime, there's always wigs lol.

#rambling with joy #chronic health tag

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y0ur-maj3sty · 3 years ago

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Each Astrological sign rules a body part. Depending on your Sun Sign, you may be susceptible to certain injuries/diseases in the certain part of your body that your sign rules more than others may be. This part of your body could be your strongest point or your weakest point. It could also be both at once. While your specific zodiac sign oversees an important part of your body, looking at the zodiac as a whole is like looking at your physical being as one complete, integrated functioning organism. In seeing the macrocosm of the heavens influence over one whole organic unit, the ancients devised the philosophy that the body is a sacred space reflecting the eternity of the cosmos manifested in the present.

Aries - The Head, Face, and Eyes. Aries are sharp and shrewd thinkers with lots of mental energy (thus why this sign rules the head). Common ailments of Aries are headaches, head congestion, and sinus problems. Due to excess mental energy Aries can overwork and also overthink themselves into mental strain. Eye strain and teeth problems are also common. An Aries can fight off an illness easily due to strong recuperative powers, and can also easily become red in the face if frustrated or excited.

Taurus - The Neck, Throat, Tonsils, Vocal Cords. Taurean women are known to have beautiful skin around the collarbones and neck. Both Taurean men and women are known to have great singing voices and beautiful harmonious, strong speaking voices. Many are susceptible to neck injuries and earaches. They can also be susceptible to weight problems and back strain.

Gemini - Arms, Shoulders, Hands, Lungs. Geminis are gifted with beautiful hands and strong arms. They often tend to be good at sports and dancing because they are well-coordinated. When stressed they have difficulty breathing, and are prone to bronchitis and asthma. They have a tendency to acquire sprains and fractures in the arms and shoulders. Geminis are often high strung, which can cause them anxiety and nervousness.

Cancer - The Breasts, Stomach. Women of Cancer tend to have beautiful breasts, since their sign rules this body part. Cancerian men have flat stomachs and broad chests. As Cancerians grow older, they put on weight that is harder to lose. They are susceptible to emotional stress, tension, and anxiety. Due to having a delicate stomach, they are prone to digestive problems, gas, nausea, etc. Because they are a water sign, Cancers can overindulge in alcohol which makes their stomach upsets even worse.

Leo - Back, Spine, Heart. Leos have strong spines, good coordination, and big hearts. Many are excellent athletes and dancers as well. Leos can overexert themselves due to the need to excel in everything they do, and the upper back is the part of them that tires the easiest. Pain and pressure is common around the heart. Heart problems can occur later on in life. To avoid heart attacks in later life, Leos must learn to slow down and stop overexerting themselves.

Virgo - The Nervous System, Intestines. Virgos are intuitive and discriminating due to a finely-tuned nervous system. Virgo’s worst enemy is anxiety, nervous tension, and emotional stress which comes the easiest to them. Many end up literally worrying themselves sick. Most physical ailments are intestinal. Indigestion, ulcers, liver upsets, gas pains, etc. are common because of weak digestive systems. They are also prone to skin problems due to the nerves. Many Virgos are hypochondriacs, also due to their delicate nervous system.

Libra - The Kidneys and Buttocks. Women of Libra have graceful lower spines and curvy buttocks, and the men have well-shaped strong backs. They are known for good bone structure and pleasing features, although they have sensitive skin. Libras are prone to lower back pains, kidney ailments, and skin conditions such as eczema.

Scorpio - The Genitals. Scorpios are the most sexual sign of the zodiac, and a lot of their energy is stored in the area of the sexual organs. Scorpios are highly sexed and very passionate. A healthy sex life is detrimental to Scorpio’s well-being. Many will use anger in a sexual way, using sex as a weapon. When they suppress intense feelings or sexual frustration, they tend to display erratic and crude behavior. Many are susceptible to problems of the genitals, such as STDs, venereal diseases, urinary infections, etc. Scorpios also have the highest susceptibility to a dangerous, unexpected death.

Sagittarius - Hips, Thighs, Liver. Sagittarians are very active, and will become ill and have bad health if they don’t get regular exercise. Both men and women have strong, well-shaped legs and are very graceful, well-developed, and coordinated. Most are slender and lean in their youth but tend to put on weight later on, especially in the hips and thighs. Chronic aches, fractures, bruising, and sprains are also common in these areas. The liver is extremely sensitive and can suffer instantly from alcohol overuse.

Capricorn - Bones, Joints, Knees, Teeth. Capricorns have lovely bone structure and beautiful, straight teeth. The women are very photogenic due to their angular beauty. Capricorns are known for their longevity, and are capable of withstanding illness and stress because they have vigorous and enduring constitutions. Their health seems to always get better. Although their bones, knees, and joints are prone to accidents, bumps, cuts, bruises, and fractures. Stiff joints and arthritis are also a problem. Intense worrying can also cause strain, as Capricorns are known for that.

Aquarius - Circulatory System, Shins, Calves, Ankles. Aquarians are strong and healthy, with strong ankles and they are also coordinated. They are more mentally active than they are physically, and tend to put on weight. Their health will take drastic turns for the worse and just as quickly reverse again, and their illnesses come without any reason. Swelling occurs in the ankles and lower legs the most for Aquarians. They’re also prone to varicose veins and cramps. Injuries are more frequent on the shins, calves, and ankles than anywhere else. Many suffer from a hardening of the arteries, low blood pressure, and anemia. Aquarians are also prone to frostbite because cold weather is harder on them.

Pisces - The Feet and Toes. Pisceans are known for their well-shaped and graceful feet. Many tend to be dancers. They also have an acute sense of smell. They are vulnerable to sinus trouble, colds, and water retention in the body. Their feet are a common source of trouble for them and they have trouble with jobs that require hours of standing. Corns and bunions are common and they have trouble finding shoes for their sensitive feet. They are also prone to athlete’s foot and other fungal infections. Bruised and broken toes are common. Like we all know, Pisces are also easily influenced by alcohol and drugs.

#zodiac #astrology #astrotheology #body #esoteric #occult #sun sign

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raisingsupergirl · 3 years ago

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She’s Got a Lip Fungus They Ain’t Identified Yet

Parenting is full of deep, joyful moments. Moments that change a person. Moments that make life worth living, like the ones I wrote about last week. But that doesn’t mean it’s all sunshine and bliss. Some things just downright suck. And I’m not talking about the whining, the behavioral issues, the disciplining. Those are the things I expected—the things I signed up for. No, I’m talking about the other things. The terrifying things. The things that make me feel like I have no control, that I’m failing as a father. I’m talking about injury and illness. And my seven-year-old Avery has a real talent for these things.

Thankfully, she must have a decent immune system, because she doesn’t often come down with colds and whatnot. But she gets hurt all the time because she’s floppy like dear old dad. From her severe concussion several years ago to her multiple elbow dislocations, she’s always falling over and hurting something. But that’s not even the worst thing. No, the worst thing is that her skin sucks. Yes, her skin. She doesn’t have psoriasis or eczema or anything, but her epidermis gives up faster than her opposing soccer team did this past weekend. Seriously. Mosquito bites cause mountainous welts. She breaks out in hives at random times, especially when she happens to be running a fever, and she’s had ringwork more times than I can count. Oh, and then there’s this most recent thing…

It started out as what looked like a pimple on her face, pretty much the first day of school in a new district. Every girl’s worst nightmare, right? Well, it gets worse. And I mean that literally. One bump became two, and slowly it crept down to her chin, and then she got a spot on her eye. Within two weeks, she also had a spot on her leg, and all of it was growing. “Why didn’t you take her to the doctor sooner!?” Shut up. Like you’re the world’s best parent, or something? Stuff like this is weird. It happens so slowly. You assume it’s going to go away. Then you look at your perfect little angel one morning and realized she’s being consumed by a flesh-eating virus. Well, bacteria, actually. One trip to Convenient Care diagnosed it as impetigo. Oops. But a $60 bottle of antibiotics kicked those critters right in the teeth, so to speak. Within a week, her sores started healing. And even if Avery complained about the awful taste, she squealed with joy the morning she took off her bandage and saw that it was getting better. Though, in that moment, my heart broke a little.

Up until then, I hadn’t realized how self-conscious she was about it. I mean, she’s only seven. She’s so focused on external things (her new cat, exploring the creek, etc.) that it’s hard to see the things she’s struggling with internally. And even though she prayed most nights that her face would get better, this one just didn’t register with me until I saw the absolute joy in her eyes when she realized she was healing. Thankfully, she didn’t have any emotionally scarring moments—no coming home crying because some bully made fun of her or anything. But I can’t help feeling awful for not paying more attention to her.

Like I said, parenting comes with its ups and downs, and most of them are go much deeper than the skin. Like, where did she get this impetigo? It likely came from one of two places—either playing in the aforementioned wet-weather creek or cuddling with her aforementioned new cat. So, I’m danged if I do and danged if I don’t, but I’m not about to deprive her of either of those things. No, I’ll choose the lesser of two evils, the one that brings her inner joy with the risk of external pain. Especially since a $60 bottle of antibiotics is way cheaper than years of therapy…

Wait, did I say $60? I meant $105. You know, because we just found a sore on her little sister’s leg, too. Parents of the year, right here. Remember to get your autographs.

#impetigo #parenting #momblr #dadblr #mumblr #parenting probs

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mari-vargas · 3 years ago

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Hey, I’ve got a weird one for you today. I want to tell the story of my favorite bully from when I was a kid.

Ya, like I said it’s a weird one.

I was bullied a lot growing up. I was quiet and didn’t really fight back over it. Honestly for the most part I didn’t care. It always felt worse for me when I tried to fit in, and I never succeeded anyways so basically my choices were “be comfortable and be made fun of for it” or “be uncomfortable and be made fun of for failing to do it right”.

Now I also have some blocked memories from bullying, so I can’t really speak to those, and I only know they exist because of an unconscious reaction to one bully approaching me and calling my name from behind while I was visiting my friend at my old school. This story is not about that however.

This is about the clique at the school I attended after that one. They were a group of mean nasty girls with money who’d pick on girls without, or would pick on you for going through puberty at a different rate than them, or for your opinion on who’s cute and who’s not or what should constitute a crush. They’d also pick on you for physical problem. One girl in our class was on crutches for months with a boot on one foot, and unfortunately she was already a target for this group because she wore her hair short and had started puberty long before anyone else (before I’d even started at this school).

There were two (and after one particular incident my opinion changed to three) especially mean girls, who I will refer to as K and M (the third is C). They would tear you down over every little thing. The thing about being the kind of kid I was, though, is that when someone is going somewhere to breakdown alone, they don’t really notice the quiet kid already occupying the hiding space due to their only two friends having a year long row with each other they didn’t have any business getting dragged into. As such I know that K, M, and C all had absolutely horrendous mothers, C had an unhealthy obsession with pleasing her father, K and M didn’t have great situations with their fathers (likely distant and mostly uninvolved), and K had some odd situations involving older siblings, and all three had stupidly high expectations placed on them—not about grades, but about appearances. So ya…I fully admit to doing the stupid thing and getting them to direct all their attention toward me and off of that one girl and away from my “friends” even though they’d basically disowned me. Because I mean really, I didn’t care what they had to say to or about me, their toxic opinions couldn’t really reach me. My friends on the other hand definitely tore me down. Their opinions did matter to me. So ya I was in a rough spot because of my “friends” and other stuff happening in my life but the bullies’ words really didn’t matter to me so I took it all on.

But this story also isn’t about me trying to say “ah yes I was strong against bullying ha ha ha!” I wasn’t, I just know that even back then I could tell whose actions were gonna affect me more. This is about one of the things the clique girls singled out on me and would’ve succeeded in actually tearing me down further than I’d ever been (again, in existing memory, because I have no clue what’s in those blocked memories and I don’t plan on ever disturbing them).

I have eczema, and a lot of triggers for it. The worst trigger to deal with though is stress. It’s not something I can remove like sugar or Red 40, it’s not something I can wash away like dust, not something I can soothe away with lotion and lots of water like dehydration. I have anxiety. Basically I’m always stressed. But anyways that year was a really rough year, with my friends fighting and my parents almost getting divorced and this was before my “twin” got her own phone so I had no reliable way to talk with her and my sister had just started driving… so I had my huge unavoidable trigger, plus this was before (or rather more specifically this was THE year) we discovered I was allergic to Red 40, and and and… Point is I had an extremely bad eczema outbreak. I’d always get it the worst on the back of my upper thighs. It was so bad that just to prevent it from getting worse while sitting in class, we had to tape these large patches of gauze over them. This school had a uniform and quite frankly the material for the bottoms was pretty uncomfortable to move in in the form of pants and shorts, so I often wore these pleated skirts my dad and I sewed because the pleats gave way more room to move.

So I’m wearing this skirt, with the gauze taped to the back of my thighs, and I’m out on the playground about to attempt the monkey bars (and being fully aware I’d fail, but I’d already finished like three books that day and it was only lunch and the monkey bars were at least still far enough away from where my friends were loudly arguing). M and K take notice that I’m gonna do something worthy of being mocked over so they gather their clique and bring them over to strike. C had been egging my friends on, but reluctantly was dragged away—reluctant that is, until she caught sight of something peculiar on the back of my thighs. So she called it out, jeeringly, “what’s that?” pointing at the gauze. So I tell her, simply, that it’s gauze. M rolls her eyes and joins C in sneering “why’s it taped on your legs?” So I tell them I have eczema and it’s pretty bad right now so it’s covered to help prevent it from getting worse. M asks what eczema is, so I start to explain “it’s a rash—“ only to be cut off by M and C loudly yelling “ew! It’s contagious your contagious you’re gonna give us all your rash” etc etc. K had been looking uncomfortable at the start of this which was unusual because usually it wasn’t C jumping in like this with M, it was usually K. I was trying to cut in to what M and C were yelling to explain that it wasn’t contagious, but again I was a quiet kid. I couldn’t cut people off, it was basically physically impossible for me at this time. But I wound up not needing to. Right when I was noticing that K wasn’t participating and was even looking uncomfortable, her discomfort transformed into determination. She cut off M and C and told them in no uncertain terms about how eczema was an autoimmune disorder transferred genetically and was in no way contagious and there was no way I could have prevented my own body from attacking me. She told them all that she had a cousin with bad eczema and that this was absolutely not something they could target to pick on me over. She then followed that up with a jibe at my lack of arm strength and my tiny feet, as though to demonstrate acceptable things to mock me over.

It might be a little stupid, but at that moment when everyone turned to mocking me for how small I was and how bad I was at climbing, I was so happy. So relieved. Because to this day I can’t stand to look at the back of my thighs, fully believing they are still covered with thick gnarled scar tissue. Because any attention brought to my eczema always made the itching and burning worse. Because any time my eczema worsened I felt horrible and that it was my fault for not being better at ignoring it. K stood up for me and saved me from the worst instance I can remember of a bully’s words actually getting to me. They didn’t stop going after me for it, but they had to do it quietly or else K would come down on them with all her righteous fury. I don’t think I ever got any physical attacks after that incident either and I know none of them wanted to touch me, still claiming I was contagious, but after that first time it didn’t bother me as much because I knew at least one of them understood.

K changed after that. She seemed to start noticing what people were truly bothered by and what they didn’t really care about, and she’d redirect mocking towards the unimportant things.

I left that school at the end of that year, but the next year apparently things in the social scene there went even worse. Remember my fighting friends? Ya that didn’t stop after just one year. Remember how C had been egging them on? She had gotten one of the other clique girls to support one while she backed the other. Soon enough, the whole clique had divided to back one or the other of my ex-friends—people they had mercilessly bullied for years and were now claiming to be besties with. I don’t know what exactly happened with K. Could’ve been something with volleyball or cheerleading. Could’ve been something with the bullying. Could’ve been a change in financial situation. But a year or two after I left she was booted to the curb from the clique. Full cold shoulder and then some.

She wanted to go to the fair, but as I mentioned her family situation was dismissive at the best of times. Her mother finally relented and said she could go IF she found someone to go with because they certainly didn’t have time for something so frivolous. She tried everyone and was shut out at every bend. Until, that is, she came across my phone number in her contacts from that brief time I was on the volleyball team because they didn’t have try outs that year because they almost didn’t have enough people for a team the year prior. So in a last ditch attempt, she messaged me to see if I’d be willing to go to the fair with her. And I thought back to that day she stood up for me, and how she had started redirecting her friends attention away from true land mines, and I went to my parents asking if I could meet a friend at the fair on that particular night. Because she needed a friend, even just for a night.

When we got there, she was all alone outside the front of the fair entrance. No family in sight. They had dropped her off and left. She was straining her neck around the crowd. I waved and ran up to her. She started crying as soon as she’d spotted me. She blubbered out her situation with her once friends and how she wouldn’t have been surprised if I hadn’t shown up because of how she used to treat me and so on and so forth. After she had calmed down we went to the fair and had a great time and I got to see a little spark of light return to her eyes.

So ya, she bullied me, and wound up getting exactly that in turn, but she also stood up for me at one of my worst moments, and I apparently did the same for her.

A year later and M for some reason invited me to a Halloween party she was throwing. I decided to go, and well that was basically the last time I ever spoke to my ex friends from that school. I was picked on by M and C and their cronies old and new while I was there and I decided that ya there was no need for me to be there and I called for a ride and left while there was still probably another 2-3 hours left of the party.

#story time #mari’s life #life before mari #life as mari #bullies #bullying #bully redemption #character development #people not changing #people can change

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13pinkcupcakes31-blog · 3 years ago

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Covid Vaccine and Autoimmune Disease

I'm not sure how many other autoimmune sufferers are out there like myself that was assured the benefit outweighs the risk. After much thought, researcher, and what feels like a sick game of Russian Roulette...I took the plunge. Myself and oldest 2 kids got the first dose August 19th and the second August 25th. I was told the second vaccine was the worst by far regarding side affects so I wasn't expecting to feel what I felt. Within 2 hours of getting the first vaccine I became lethargic. So beyond tired I honestly don't remember much for that evening at all. I know I went to bed somewhere around 8 pm which is insane because my usual bedtime is between 4-5 am. Well I woke up around 3:30 am with extreme muscle soreness like I had done a killer workout. I was very parched and woozy feeling. I don't read side affects about anything because seriously I'll just make yourself paranoid. So I was told the best course of action was acetominophen and vitamin c. I received this advice from just about everyone who had the vaccine. No one that I knew had any side effects from the first dose. So about 12 hours post vaccine and I developed a large blistery sore on the injection site which continued to grow and spread for about 5 days before it started to diminish. I had a fever of 102 for the first 7 days as well. I think the worst part of it for me was my immune system was definitely trying to fight the vaccine but inevitably it started attacking itself instead. I ended up with thrush, yeast infection, and abscesses in my mouth. I also have dyshidrotic eczema which of course went crazy as well. So now my body is fighting itself so my inflamation was thru the roof. I have Lupus and Hashimotos Disease. These combined autoimmune diseases make everything very difficult to heal from end even harder to stay relatively healthy. Lupus by itself is literally a mind blowing disease. How there are so many different types and how they affect each person. Personally my Lupus has been attacking my joints and bones since early teens but wasn't diagnosed until I was 32 years old. I'm not sure why no one checked to see why at the age of 15 I needed a total shoulder replacement. They were convinced I had to have a traumatic event to cause that much damage. Which was definitely not the case at all. I was chronically dislocating my should by doing simple things like pointing and and swimming. I was actually asked if I dislocated my shoulder on purpose. If you have ever had a dislocated shoulder you know that excruciating pain that it entails. So I was shocked and angered that they were questioning why It dislocated so many times. In the years proceeding I had several other surgeries. I fell down walking up a flight of stairs when I was 26 and I hit my elbow on the landing. I was in pain but waited 24 hours to see a doctor thinking it was probably a muscle strain. They took x-rays of my shoulder and arm and revealed I had broken my shoulder in 2 different spots when I fell and hit my elbow. Again no one found this irregular and never tested me for anything even knowing my history. The same week as my shoulder I broke my hand, and dislocated my knee. Still no one found this odd except social services who assumed I was getting beat up by my Husband. I have gotten way off topic of the covid vaccine but I am trying to explain all the aspects of why I think that people who have autoimmune diseases should be monitored by a doctor after getting the vaccines because it will inevitably give you some terrible side affects. I know they don't really know how the vaccine is going to affect anyone in different demographics and we are the guinea pigs. So now the second vaccine was obviously the worst. So we al got the vaccine at around 5:30 and didn't stick around like we were supposed to because if something happened in the pharmacy they would have called an amb ulance and what would they do with the kids while I was in there. I know my husband wouldn't leave work early so I decided it would be better just to get home

because at least I know where the kids are and they are comfortable in their own home. Wow I seriously just drag these blogs out .... if your still reading ... i'm sorry. So the second vaccine I thought was going to kill us all and no im seriously not being dramatic. Laila, Samir, and I developed fevers over 102 mine being the highest at 103.7. I felt like somone took a meat grinder to my organs. I had stomach cramps, fever, extreme fatigue, and such a bad migraine. Which now that I think of I also got with the first vaccine. We felt like death for the first 48 hours straight but thankfully we started feeling better on day 3. If anyone is planning to get the vaccine stock up on acetominophen, vitamin c, Gatorade or other electrolyte type beverage. Drink lots and lots of fuids and just plan ahead 3 days that you won't be able to do anything other than fitfully sleep. If anyone has and specific questions please don't hesitate to ask.

#lupus #hashimotosthyroiditis #autoimmune #covid vaccine side effects #autoimmine disease #autoimmunediseasepain

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orcinus-ocean · 5 years ago

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I am watching hours worth of ex-vegan “interviews” or testimonials, so you don’t have to.

I link to each one so you can see them for yourself, but I wrote down the important points of each one, since I believe this is not just important, but vital information. This could save people’s lives, if they just stop and think and look at another perspective before they go into it.

These are real people. They really wanted it. They really knew what they were doing. They weren’t “doing it wrong”. These are their experiences.

Ex-Vegan (8 Years): Veganism Is a Teeth Rotting, Muscle Atrophying, Degenerating, Fart Fest

A young man with a lot of health issues including severe eczema, got into veganism to get healthy

He had previously been living the typical “college” lifestyle with lots of fast food, no health-thinking at all

For the first year or two, he felt amazing, he did fine for four years, had a successful YouTube channel talking about skin health and the vegan diet

Emphasizing how “literally obsessed” he was with his dental hygiene and health, four years into veganism, his teeth were deteriorating and every time he visited the dentist, he had to have a root canal, he had cavities, infections, receding gums, always something

He was always bloated with a visibly bloated belly

Despite being a very health-focused athlete, his muscles wouldn’t grow the way they should

His skin started going “grey” and his hair lost its rich color

His memory and ability to focus deteriorated

He completely lost interest in food - everything “disgusting”

Feeling a craving for protein, he upped the high-protein vegan foods, and he only felt worse and worse

After realizing this diet was making him sick, he took one bite of salmon and “it was like taking drugs” - clear, physical reaction to it, and compared to the plants giving bloating and gas, “it felt like I was eating nothing, but I had so much energy”

After going back to eating animal protein (as much wild fish/meat as possible), his weight corrected itself, strength in the gym went “off the charts”

The pain and irritation he had on the vegan diet went away

His gums went from white pink to red, “right away”

Digestion issues - gone, hormonal issues - gone

“Since I’ve been eating animals, I feel more humble and more gentle towards animals, I feel more respect towards them, and I feel like I understand the cycles of life and appreciate life even more”

He says the vegan diet can help people to “clean out the body” as it did for him, but veganism, he doesn’t understand. “If your mom was on her death bed, and she had the choice: Die a horrible, painful death, or eat salmon, you would want your mom to die a horrible death rather than eat salmon. I’m asking this to vegans, and a lot of them are like ‘Under no circumstance would I ever have my mom or anyone I know, eat salmon, because it’s killing an animal, it’s abuse’. And I’m like aren’t humans animals?”

“I view the vegan diet as a disease-reversal protocol, not as a ‘forever diet’.”

Ex-Vegan Family: (6+ Years): "Healthy" Vegan & Vegetarian Dogma Depleted Health and Vitality

Casey vegetarian/vegan for ~15 years

Did it to try to clear up his eczema and staph infections (which were so bad the doctors wanted to amputate his legs), didn't really work

He did feel great for the first few months as a raw vegan, but looking back, he believes it was more due to cutting out grains and processed foods, since he found grains are terrible for him

Lost a lot of weight, rotting teeth, reoccuring cavities

Gina became vegan at the age of 13, being a picky eater and caring about animals

The "readymade" vegan food wasn't doing well for her, so she started eating only raw vegan food

She felt really good - for about six months. After six months, a very severe depression, accompanied by brain fog, lack of mental focus, constant hunger, weight loss and joint pain, kicked in

She believed so hard that this had to be right, that she stayed a vegan for 6 years, before introducing dairy

At the age of 17, after four years on veganism, developed a cancerous tumor on her leg (not necessarily connected, but worth noting)

Five years into veganism she was pregnant, and began craving red meat - they started buying local dairy, meat, liver and eggs

After the baby, she went back to raw veganism, and the joint pain came back, "it's detox"

She instead went back to being vegetarian rather than raw vegan, but she still suffered from worsening joint pain, fatigue, brain fog

A couple of years later, she was pregnant again and she was craving red meat so much she even dreamt about it

Her conclusion was "I must be doing it wrong, I must just eat more of the high-protein vegan food"

For her third pregnancy, she stayed vegan, and the birth was the hardest one she had

The baby had the lowest birth weight of the three, still normal weight, but later, he wasn't gaining weight normally

The child couldn't sit up at six months, couldn't walk at a year old, was depressed, only learned to walk after they gave him meat, and he finally became happy

Then on her fourth pregnancy, she was not vegan for the first half, but went back to raw vegan on the latter half of the pregnancy, and this child was healthy

On raw veganism at the end of the fourth pregnancy, her teeth were "falling apart", her bones were aching, and she was so foggy she couldn't think or remember anything

At the end of her pregnancy, she hadn't gained any weight, just stayed the same

Her teeth were full of cavities, despite having been to the dentist and "fixed everything" just some months prior

They could never manage raw fruit more than six months at a time, constant hunger

They believed the constant hunger could be due to parasites, so they ate anti-parasitic herbs which only made things worse

When she stopped eating vegetables (only fruit?), she got skin rashes as well

When they went back to meat, they felt full for the whole day, while on raw veganism, they had to eat all the time and were still always hungry

At the time of filming, they were completely off veganism for four months and she feels like her brain has "grown", she has energy, can exercise again, is gaining muscle

Ex-Vegan (4 Years): How Veganism Shortened My Lifespan

Started veganism as a New Year’s resolution to turn his life around, after living “like a degenerate”

He started with a month-long juice fast, where he felt great

On the first year as a “whole foods vegan” (mainly raw), he suffered from loss of libido, insomnia, migraines, arthritis, couldn’t build muscle

After a year, he went back to a diet of white rice, lean meat, bone marrow and occasional red meat

This diet immediately got his libido and muscle growth back

After some time, peer pressure made him drop the meat, but he still ate eggs

The vegans around him told him “if you continue to eat meat and dairy, you will not be able to ascend and channel divine guidance”

One of them was a nutritionist, and when he told her veganism destroyed his health, she said that he needs to be on 80/10/10, a fruit-based diet

He stayed on it for five months, and it was “the worst 4-5 months of my life”

He went on another vegan diet, based on sprouts, sea vegetables and algae, and a bunch of supplements

Same problems - lack of libido, insomnia, lack of muscle, migraines, cracking joints

A friend who saw him for the first time in years said “you look like one of those kids in the refugee camps”, because his face was so sunken-in

His friend eventually convinced him to go with him to a steakhouse, and he describes the first bite he took as “the fat going straight into my brain” and he felt “like a dying wolf”

He gorged on 2-3 pounds of fatty meat, slept for twelve hours, and his friends told him he immediatly looked like a completely different person

His cracking joints, dry skin and insomnia went away

Still, he went back to veganism, and all the problems came back

He went back and forth between raw veganism and primal diet every 2-4 weeks, rebuilding on an animal-based diet, deteriorating on a plant-based diet, always thinking “this time I will make it work”

He had to give up aiming for optimum health as a vegan, instead aiming for just “normal stability”

Staying at an old vegan institute managed by one of the creators of his sprouts-algae-supplements diet, doing a colonic, the worker there admitted to him most of them there are not vegan, because they fall apart on it, but go on a primal diet

During the colonic, the worker pushed his liver, and he felt “fire” going down his intestines. What came out was all green, spirulina, algae and other such supplements, which had simply stored in his liver

He speaks a lot about studies on different “uncivilized” peoples around the world, who were all eating high amounts of animal fat, wherever they lived

At the end, he speaks of where veganism might be coming from, and the lie that veganism is good for the environment

His message to vegans is to “quit bothering and harassing people”, and that if you care about animals, go buy cheap land in Arizona and make an animal shelter or something, instead of bullying people who eat meat

Ex-Vegan (2 Years): Vegans Have No Empathy for Humans

Vegetarian for six years, before going vegan

Ate mainly raw vegan, and then her stomach became “an empty, vacant hole”, she was always hungry

Throughout her time on veganism, she was taking lots of supplements

Her skin dried up, she got acne all over her face

She became “emotional and neurotic” and “absolutely insane” from a lack of B12

A lot of talk about the cult mindset in the “vegan community”

Starting to eat eggs again, she felt “a little bit better”, but still felt hungry all the time

Panic attacks over tiny things, anemia, constant diarrhea

Started eating fish, it didn’t help much

She was always hungry but had no appetite, had to force-feed herself

After a particularly bad day, she realized she was risking her life, and ate steak the next day

Eating steak for the first time in years, she felt warmth throughout her body, tingling on her head, and “satiated” for the first time in years, “it changed my life”

Ex-Vegan (12+ Years): Veganism Is Starvation - Fruitarianism Is Suicide

Started in 2002 as a vegetarian for a year before going vegan, became raw vegan from 2009-2011, then went on to fruitarianism until 2015

She says many feel great the first year or so on veganism, because they cut out all the junk from their diet

She had digestive issues prior to becoming vegan, thought it might help, but it only got worse and she got sicker as the years progressed

After six years and only getting sicker, she thought it must be the drugs for her health issues, "I'm doing it wrong", or "my body is wrong"

(They talk about some very interesting "meat and milk causes cancer"-studies four minutes in)

She said the raw vegan years were the worst of her life, that her brain “stopped functioning”. She became "permanently psychotic", she "saw hell" and heard voices - conclusion: "oh, it's detox"

When she stopped veganism in 2015, she had a test done on her hair. They said they had never seen that much heavy metal in someone's hair before

She had been doing nothing but "cleansing" and "detoxing" for the past five years, and she was "the most toxic, sick person you'll ever meet"

She was “literally dying” towards the end, freezing cold all the time, her bones hurt so much she couldn't lay on a hard surface

She couldn't digest anything but fruit anymore, it took two years of quitting raw veganism until the point where she could digest vegetables and meat again

Her teeth had to be all "redone", because they were rotten to the roots, her hair was falling out

She was told that on this fruitarian diet, it will feel like hell for 2-3 years, because of the "detox", then they will feel great, like godlike beings

But since 2-3 years passed and people still felt awful, their "leader" changed that to "people are so sick today, the detox will take 5-6 years!"

This also didn't happen, people stuck for 5-6 years and only got sicker, so the story changed to "7-8 years, then you will feel great!"

Her comment: "You can't be a herbivore and be healthy. If you want to have a life of mental illness and an early death and degeneration, go be vegan."

Many of these people have also spoken of how many well-known names in the vegan/raw/fruitarian communities (from YouTubers to authors) are known “cheaters” who eat meat frequently in order to stay healthy, while lying to their audiences and telling them to stay vegan.

These were only five. I will do more of these posts, to keep them at a readable length.

#vegans #veganism #raw vegan #plant based #ex vegan #anti vegan #fruitarianism #vegan health

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vindicatedvirgil · 5 years ago

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only fools rush in / part four: we deserve happiness, too

WHOAH HEY SLOW DOWN! have you read parts one, two, and three yet? no? go do that and then come back. it’s fine. i’ll wait.

okay now for those of you who are all caught up, it’s Sunday, so that means a new chapter!! this chapter is focused on Janus and Logan and (hopefully) it will answer some of your questions about timelines and stuff.

this is my first time writing about a queerplatonic relationship, so if i messed up in any way please let me know (they’re also both aromantic but they are not ace and this is important to note okay cool).

TW: mention of sex (no descriptors though), mention of suicide attempt

read to the end for the title of part five as well as a teaser~

Logan sat at their usual table at the café, his laptop in front of him as he typed quickly. With every opening of the door, the bell above it dinging annoyingly, he glanced up, but found himself disappointed when he didn’t see his partner. He worried that Janus’ oolong tea would grow cold as he took a sip of his own black coffee, and turned his focus to the research paper he was working on. Eventually, he felt Janus’ lips press to his cheek and then his body slid into the booth to the left of him.

“Sorry that I’m late, Lo. Virgil was having a rough night and I needed to make sure he was going to be okay,” he explained, picking up the mug of tea in his hands and taking a sip. Janus made no indication that the tea was too cold or hot, he just smiled before pulling his own laptop out of his bag. “How’s the paper coming?”

“Almost done, just need to edit the footnotes,” Logan responded plainly, taking another sip of his coffee. It was almost to the point where it was too cold to drink, but he needed the caffeine if he wanted to finish his work for the weekend. “Is Virgil going to be okay now?”

“I think so. Roman was arriving to practice for the auditions as I left, though I don’t think he saw me, he seemed pretty focused as he ran up the stairs,” he responded, starting to type on his laptop. “Have you eaten anything, Lo? You can’t just have coffee.”

“I’m not hungry,” the taller man responded, pushing his glasses up further on his nose. Janus frowned, then slid out of their booth and walked over to the main counter. Logan sighed, switching tabs to his research notes. He skimmed for the information he needed and by the time he had inserted a quote into the main paper, Janus had returned with two muffins; one blueberry, one banana nut. Logan wanted to ignore the grumble in his stomach but he knew Janus would bug him until he ate something, so he picked up the blueberry muffin and unwrapped it before taking a bite. “Thanks, Janus.” He continued writing, taking occasional bites of the muffin, and Janus was also working hard, his banana nut muffin consumed rather quickly, the oolong tea drained from the mug. Finally, Logan spoke again. “Did Remus tell you where he was planning on taking Patton today?”

“The botanical gardens and then here for lunch, I think,” Janus responded. He seemed to be in deep thought, his thoughts miles away. “He’s going to tell Patton about his past, I think.”

“He should, before Roman beats him to it,” Logan said, loosening his tie. “He almost did last night when we were helping him pick out his outfit.” He sighed, and felt Janus’ fingers trail on his thigh, and met his eyes.

“They’re all falling in love, aren’t they? How weird is that? Love and romance. Such silly concepts,” Janus mused, a playful smile crossing his face. “But… they all deserve it. Happiness. We found our own kind of happiness, they get to find theirs now.” Logan nodded, stretching his arms a little bit.

“We’re not broken, right?” Logan’s voice was hesitant when he asked the question, and Janus frowned at him, taking his hand.

“Lo, we’ve been over this. Just because love and romance aren’t things we want to or can feel, doesn’t mean we’re broken,” Janus’ words were like a song that Logan needed to play over and over, and he wondered if that feeling would ever disappear. Sometimes when he curled up in Janus’ arms he almost felt whole, like he realized that there wasn’t a black hole where his heart should be. There were days where he shut himself off from the world, hiding in his room that was littered with papers and science equipment, because he wasn’t sure that he could ever deserve the happiness he felt when Janus was next to him. “Lo,” Janus’ voice was calling him back into himself, out of the fog of his mind. “Lo, did you sleep at all last night?”

“Uh… I slept for an hour or two,” he admitted, eyes glancing down. He was ashamed of his own insomnia sometimes, but being a double major was draining. Luckily, Janus always knew how to take care of him, make him realize that there was more to the world than just romantic love.

“How much more schoolwork do you need to get done?” Janus asked rhetorically as he grabbed Logan’s planner, flipping to the page for the day. “Hmmm… not much, plus it’s only Saturday morning. Okay.” He closed the planner and then shut Logan’s laptop and then his own. “Come on, we’re going to your apartment to rest.”

“Jan–”

“Not mine, because Virgil and Roman are practicing and I want to give them space,” he explained, putting his laptop away. “No arguing this time, please. You need to take care of yourself.” Logan knew better than to argue, so he packed up his things and then the two walked to his apartment, fingers interlocked.

“Janus, this really isn’t necessary,” Logan grumbled as his partner removed his tie and unbuttoned his shirt, revealing the plain t-shirt underneath. “I need to get work done.” The shorter man ignored him, going to Logan’s dresser and pulling out some pajama bottoms. He threw them at his glasses-clad partner, raising an eyebrow.

“You need to rest,” was the only thing he said before resting his hands on his hips, glancing around the cluttered bedroom. There were papers littering the carpet, books stacked everywhere despite the open spaces on the bookshelves, and empty coffee mugs all over the desk, and Janus noted some spilled coffee stains on the surface. He was about to shrug out of his coat when two arms wrapped around his waist and Logan’s chin rested on his shoulder.

“You could… help me rest, maybe,” he suggested, voice low. “It helps my mind slow down a little bit.” Janus knew this, and he spun around in Logan’s arms, pressing his hands to his partner’s face. “If you don’t want to–”

“You know I’d do anything to help you, Lolo.”

Afterwards, Janus slipped back into his shirt and a pair of Logan’s pajama bottoms. He got Logan’s help in rubbing lotion over the left side of his body, hoping to quell some of the pain brought on by his eczema. Then he brought over his laptop, putting on one of Logan’s favorite space documentaries, and the two snuggled, Logan dozing sporadically. Janus ran his fingers through the other’s hair, feeling calm and collected, a smile plastered on his face. When he heard Logan’s stomach grumble with hunger, they ordered Chinese takeout and ate it in bed, Janus smirking when a noodle stuck to the other’s chin. They watched a few more documentaries, the sun lowering itself in the sky, and eventually, Logan dozed off.

Janus pressed a swift kiss to Logan’s forehead, the other softly snoring, then got to work tidying up the room. He started by putting the books onto the shelves, but he didn’t follow a certain order, he just wanted to reduce Logan’s risk of falling over the stacks. Afterwards, he organized the scattered papers into different piles and then put them into the file cabinet, labeling them for the class or purpose they held. He wiped off the surfaces in the room with wipes he had stored in Logan’s desk, and then carried all of the mugs in his arms and out to the kitchenette.

When he exited Logan’s room, he saw Roman lounging on the couch, flipping through the script. When the actor noticed him, he raised an eyebrow, but smiled.

“How’s Virgil doing?” Janus asked, setting the mugs on the sink and turning on the hot water. Roman got up from the couch and sat on one of the stools at the counter, watching.

“He…” Roman sighed, resting his hand under his chin. “He’s nervous about it all, of course. He doesn’t want to fall on stage, he doesn’t want to mess up.” His voice was hesitant, and Janus could tell that he was holding something back, but he didn’t want to pry; he focused on washing Logan’s mugs, smiling when he noticed the ones he had gifted him with nerd sayings on them. “Janus… did Virgil really… almost kill himself?”

The mug that Janus was holding slipped out of his hand, clattering into the sink. Thankfully, it stayed intact. He felt his throat constrict, the memories of that day rushing back through his mind, and he gripped the edge of the sink tightly, using one of his shaky hands to turn off the water. “He did,” Janus’ breath was heavy, too, and he couldn’t bear to turn around to look Roman in the eyes. “I… found him. It was… the worst day of my life.”

“How old were you at the time?” Roman’s voice sounded pained as the words left his mouth, and Janus chewed on his lower lip.

“We were 16,” he said, turning around and leaning against the sink, his eyes focused on his feet. “He’s… better now. Therapy and medication and all. But… I almost lost him.”

“He thinks he’s losing you,” Roman’s words came out before he could stop them, and Janus’ eyes snapped up to meet his, a frown on his face.

“What?” It was almost a hiss, Janus was feeling constricted again, and his defenses were rising. Roman held his hands out to try to calm him down.

“He just…” Roman sighed, lowering his hands, “Now that you’re in a partnership with Logan, he… thinks he’s not a priority in your life anymore. I did my best to tell him that couldn’t be true, but… you might need to talk to him.”

Janus ran a hand through his hair, sighing, but he nodded. “Thank you for telling me, Roman. I’ll… talk to him.” Roman nodded, then pursed his lips in thought.

“Our audition is a week from Friday… do you think that maybe… you and the others could sit in the back, where Virgil can’t see, and then be there when we’re done?” Roman’s voice was hesitant. He didn’t know Janus very well and had only spent time with him in small increments; it was Patton and Logan who spent more time with him, and Roman always found the sociology major to be… odd. But he meant a lot to Virgil. “He’s so nervous, I think he could do with some support afterwards.” Janus wondered why Roman was hesitant to be the only one providing the support to Virgil, but maybe it was a sign that Roman knew of his own limits.

“I… yeah, of course, Roman. I’ll make sure that we’re there.”

“Virgil?” Janus opened the door to their apartment later that night. Remus hadn’t returned yet, and Virgil was laying on the couch, holding a pillow close. Janus stepped out of his shoes and set his bag down, walking over. “I think we need to talk.”

“...do we?” Virgil made a move to sit up but Janus shook his head, pulling Virgil’s legs up and onto his lap as he sat down.

“Roman told me that you feel like less of a priority to me,” he said, eyes focusing on the taller man. Virgil’s mouth opened to respond but Janus shook his head.. “Virge, I need you to know that no matter how significant Lo, or anyone else, ever becomes to me, no one will ever be more important to me than you. Okay?” Virgil looked away, frowning, and Janus sighed, rubbing his feet.

“It’s just…” he took a deep breath, twisting his fingers in a manner that seemed very uncomfortable to Janus, but Virgil made no indication that it was. “You’ve got… someone to care for now, someone who cares for you in an equal manner, and… I’m just getting in the way.”

“V, you could never get in the way. Just because I’m with Logan doesn’t change the fact that if you needed me, I would drop everything to be there,” Janus’ voice was calm, and he rubbed Virgil’s feet and legs in a way that he hoped was comforting. “V. Look at me.” Virgil did, because he knew that Janus would keep at it until he did. Janus smiled warmly, his eyes meeting his best friend’s. “Please don’t forget how much I care for you. I know… things have changed, lately. I’m still figuring out the balance with Lo and everything, but… you’ll always be at the top of my priority pyramid.” Virgil smiled, recalling the drawing that Janus had made for him back when he was in the hospital for his attempt.

-flashback, six years ago-

“They don’t care, they never did,” Virgil was sitting up in the hospital bed, finally, bandage-covered arms crossed and a frown on his face. His parents had just left from their obligatory half-hour visit. “I’m not a priority to anyone.” Janus scoffed. He was sitting cross-legged at the foot of the bed, notebook in hand.

“You’re a priority to me, V,” he said, starting to scribble on the notebook. Virgil raised an eyebrow, peeking over to see a pyramid with words on several levels. “Okay, see? Bottom level is basic necessities like a roof and food. Then school and my family. Then me. And look, at the very top of the pyramid, it’s you. The most important thing.”

Virgil brought his hand up to his mouth to stifle the laugh that he felt rising up inside him, and he ignored the bandages on his wrist as he did so. Janus was surprised at the laughter; he hadn’t heard the noise coming from his best friend in weeks. “Jan, the most important and necessary thing goes at the base of the pyramid. Like in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs?” Janus frowned, glancing down at his pyramid. Virgil reached his hand out, taking the notebook from him. “But… I understand what you’re trying to say. Thank you.”

-end flashback-

“I still have that pyramid drawing you did,” Virgil said. He moved from his laying down position to sit next to Janus, and despite their height difference he leaned his head on the other man’s shoulder. “Maybe… maybe I won’t need to rely on only you, J.”

“What do you mean?” Janus found himself not liking the idea. Of course, ever since Remus had pranced his way into their little group, into their apartment, Janus knew that it could never be the same as it was when they moved in together right out of high school instead of living in the dorms.

“I mean…” Virgil took a deep breath, a small smile taking over his facial features. “Maybe… maybe Roman will… care for me, too.” Janus turned his head a bit to give Virgil a confused look. “I think… Jan, I think he likes me.”

“He’d be a fool not to,” was the only response that Janus could muster up, but he felt strange about the whole thing.

Janus had just finished eating his breakfast when there was a knock at the door. Virgil was still in bed, and Remus had left early to go on a brunch date with Patton. He opened the door, and saw Logan standing there, a sheepish smile on his face.

“Hey, Lo, you okay?” He asked, pulling his partner inside and giving him a swift kiss to the cheek.

“I just… wanted to spend time with you,” Logan explained. Janus smiled, pulling him in for a warming hug. They moved to sit on the couch, Janus curled into Logan’s chest, an oceanography documentary playing in the background. “I was, um, thinking about the day we decided to… get together.”

“Oh?” Janus mused, playing with Logan’s fingers gently. “What about that day?”

“Just… the way you made me feel like I wasn’t broken. Like I deserve happiness.”

-flashback to early in the summer-

“I can’t help but feel… broken,” Logan sighed, laying on the floor of Janus’ room. “I know being aromantic is valid. You’ve helped me realize that, Janus. But… seeing people in romantic relationships are... they always seem so happy, and… will I ever feel happy like that?” Janus sighed from where he was propped up on his bed, pillows surrounding him. He clambered out of bed and then laid on the floor next to Logan, taking his hand and intertwining their fingers.

“You deserve the utmost of happiness. Regardless of what other people think, people like you and me do find happiness in our lives, even if romantic relationships aren’t appealing to us,” he said, voice soft and soothing. A few moments passed before he spoke again, “Logan… do you know what a queerplatonic relationship is?”

“Vaguely.” Logan asked, turning his head to look at the other, who was staring right up at the ceiling. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, I… thought maybe you’d…” Janus didn’t finish his sentence, instead closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Logan propped himself on his elbow, laying on his side to look at the other one more closely.

“Janus, are you asking me to be your partner?” Logan asked. They’d grown closer since meeting in class and getting to know each other, and when Janus found out that he also identified as aromantic, they began to spend even more time together.

“I… yeah, I think so,” Janus replied, looking at Logan again. “We’d need to establish boundaries. But… I don’t know, I think… it could work, and maybe we could… make each other happy.”

“What kind of boundaries?” Logan pressed, not yet stating if he wanted to enter the partnership. “Like… sex stuff?”

“I- I mean, only if you want that, we don’t have to do any of that, and if there’s something you want we can try it, and if it makes us uncomfortable we stop, it’s… all subjective to change,” Janus kept tripping over his words. He’d been thinking of asking Logan this for months, and had planned so many things out to say, but Logan never ceased to amaze him with the questions he didn’t anticipate.

“Well…” Logan started, taking a deep breath. “I would like to try… because you deserve to be happy, too, Janus.”

-end flashback-

“Anyways, I have something for you,” Logan reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a rounded ring that looked like a galaxy. “You don’t have to, but, um, it’s kind of like…”

“A promise ring?” Janus took the ring into his own hands gingerly, a smile creeping onto his face. Logan nodded, then buried his face in Janus’ hair, mumbling. The smaller man said nothing but slipped the ring onto his finger.

“You make me feel happiness,” Logan said, face still buried in Janus’ hair. “I thought I couldn’t feel that, that I didn’t deserve it. But you and I deserve it, just as much as anyone else.”

---

teaser for part five: power outages can lead to some very bad things

When Roman got back to the apartment, all of the lights were out. Patton and Logan were nowhere to be seen, so he figured that they were both spending the night at the other apartment. He showered then got into bed, but laid on his back staring up at his ceiling until the sun started to bleed through the break in his curtains. He fucked up.

---

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34 notes · View notes

darkdoelette · 5 years ago

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Winter care tips

Hey. Late fall/Winter can really be a hard time to keep up with self care. The cold temperatures can be harsh on skin, getting sick is way easier, and being outside for a moderate amount of time isn’t always possible (or fun). Here are some self care tips for winter!

(Keep in mind, I am NOT a professional or doctor. If you actually believe you may be experiencing a medical issue I would advise seeing one)

Skin care:

•A little bit of Virgin coconut oil and then Vaseline can make your lips super smooth.

•Moisturizer is your best friend.

•For smooth feet put vaseline on your feet every night and wear socks over them. I did this when I was applying for a shoe modeling job and it worked wonders.

Cold and Flu prevention:

•GET VACCINATED! While this doesn’t always mean you won’t get the flu it will likely make it way less intense. I knew someone who only had the flu for several days last year because she was vaccinated. While it didn’t prevent it entirely, it minimized what could have happened. If you are one of those rare people who vaccines don’t effect, make sure you spread how important it is that OTHERS get vaccinated.

•Wash your hands. I cannot stress this enough. Try to avoid touching your eyes, mouth, or nose.

•Try not to share drinks with other people.

•Don’t kiss someone who you know is sick.

•Try to stay warm enough. The cold itself doesn’t actually give you a cold, but it lowers your immune system since your body has to work to keep you warm.

•Green Tea is fantastic.

Common cold self care:

•Peppermint essential oil can really help clear up your sinuses. Put some on several cotton balls/pads and put them under your pillow case to help your breathe better at night while you sleep. Just be careful and make sure you don’t put too much so it doesn’t go through the pillowcase and onto your eyes.

•Speaking of sleep, get enough of it. Nap if you have to. Rest is crucial in healing from a cold.

•If you eat meat, chicken noodle soup is a go to.

•Stay hydrated.

•Some ginger can help a sore throat. So can honey. Many people put honey in their tea, but eating it off a spoon is more effective. Remember that these tips are NOT for infants as babies under a year should not eat honey.

•Ginger is also good for nausea. I love Trader Joe’s ginger chews.

•Make sure you get enough vitamin c. This doesn’t mean chug one and a half cartons of orange juice per day, as any extra vitamin c your body will just flush out.

•If you’re sick and someone doesn’t want to stand near you PLEASE DON’T BE OFFENDED. I’m a performer and loosing my voice is one of the worst feelings for me right before a performance. This is especially true if the person is a parent or looks after someone with a lower immune system such as a nursing home or day care worker. Even if they don’t, you didn’t want to get sick. Neither do they.

•Vomiting can cause you to loose electrolights. Once you’re feeling well enough, try to drink some Gatorade. The BRAT diet is recommended for people with nausea. I’ve been on it PLENTY of times myself.

•Try to put some moisturizer around your nostrils now and then if you’ve been blowing your nose a lot. The skin can get raw and irritated.

Other:

•Wearing warm socks (especially those made for around the house without shoes like fuzzy ones) can make your entire body feel much warmer. Try it if you’re chilly at home.

•If you see someone wearing gloves inside don’t be rude about it. I have a rare form of eczema that causes my hands to look like a giant scale is growing on top of them that you could just tear off. When it was at its worst growing up, my parents and I didn’t quite know what it was. So my options were to either keep moisturizer on me at all times (which I couldn’t because of things like gym class) and literally apply it every fifteen minutes, or apply it every hour or so and wear fingerless gloves to cover it up. They looked cute and emo/rocker chick as hell and I got shit for it.

#skincare #my post #self care #self pampering #winter #h0e tips #coquette #nymphett #dolette #skin care #cold weather #tips #advice #life hack #socks #cozy #christmas #hannukah #kwanza #snow #ice

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xo-lynnea · 4 years ago

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My Clearest skin tips

I often get compliments about my skin. I try to take care of my skin as best I can with using simple affordable products. Growing up my mother never wore makeup but she always took extra care of her skin, my mother truly believed that a skin care routine should be nourishing but simple and I have found that to be true.

Keep your hair up!

Keep your hair off and out of your face. Especially if you have curly hair , Us curly haired girls typically have more oils and product in our hair and that can cause irritation while rubbing against your face. Braids are a fun way to switch up your style and messy buns are always cute. You can even opt for a half up and half down style. Anything as long as your hair is off your face.

Clean your phone!

Make sure you clean your phone. We take our phones everywhere which means they are exposed to pollutants and bacteria just as we are. Think about it, phones collect a lot of dirt and germs throughout the day between our dirty hands and fingers, the makeup on our face and the various places we are setting our phones (countertops,table, purses etc.) its easy for germs to collect on the surface of your phone. Make sure to give a quick wipe down every night

Gentle cleansers!

I personally like to use African black soap its something that women in my family have been using for generation’s. My grandmother, Aunts and mothers have all used this product for as long as I can remember and I know why it has. never failed to keep my complexion crystal clear.I found that is gentle to use everyday, twice a day. African Black soap is generally made from locally harvested African plants such as plantain, cocoa pods, palm tree leaves and shea tree bark. The ingredients are sun-dried and roasted, and then Water and oils such as coconut oil, palm oil and/or shea butter. You can get raw organic African Black Soap from amazon. Be aware of fake African black soap, Authentic black soap has a marbled brownish/ black color. It doesn’t have a flat black color. Also the soap might cause tingling or burning sensation but no worries its most likely caused by the soap drawing out impurities and excess oils, and the pH levels of the skin will eventually balance out after a few days. I also recommend The Classic Clean by Noxzema it is gentle and really deep cleaning without over drying , this has also been a staple of mine since I was 14 years old.

Moisturize with shea butter

I Love incorporating Shea Butter in my beauty routine because it is multi-functional. You can use it for your Hair, Nails, body and face. High concentrations of fatty acids and vitamins (A,D,E) make shea butter perfect for softening skin. Shea butter also has anti-inflammatory, Anti-Aging and healing properties. It also acts as a natural sunscreen. Using shea butter can condition, tone, and soothe your skin. You only need a little bit so it last a very long time. I recommend getting raw unrefined organic shea butter off of amazon. It should be yellow in color and have a nutty scent. (The scent fades fairly quickly)

Pure Aloe vera and Tea Tree oil.

I use pure 100% Aloe vera gel every night. Aloe has bee used for thousands of years as a topical ointment. It contains antioxidants, enzymes, Vitamins A and C, and it is highly anti-inflammatory. It can help treat burns, hyperpigmentation, acne and dry skin. It helps with producing collagen which helps cell turn over thus helping maintain the skins structure. Sometimes I can even feel my skin tightening after using aloe vera gel. When I experience break outs I like to use Tea Tree oil. I dilute it with my aloe vera gel and put it on before I go to bed. I never recommend using tea tree oil without diluting it. Especially if you have sensitive skin. Tea tree oil is best for treating acne because of its anti-inflammatory and antimicrobial properties. It calms redness, swelling, and inflammation.

Oatmeal face masks!

I do this once a week. Colloidal Oatmeal is really good for sensitive skin. I use Aveeno’s colloidal oatmeal soothing bath treatment. The oatmeal comes in packages I just a table spoon and a little bit of water and make a paste then I put it on my face and leave it on for 10 minutes. Sometimes - typically during the winter ill put the tiniest amount of coconut oil in the paste. I usually wake up with glowing clear skin.

Less makeup

I know we live in an age where a full face of makeup everyday and everywhere is the new trend and that can really take a toll on your skin. People are surprised when I tell them I never wear foundation - ever even if im dealing with a break out. Letting your skin breath is extremely vital. Our skin is more delicate and sensitive than I think most of us realize , I recommend using thinner layers of CC or BB cream if you feel like you need some sort of foundation. But its not just foundation be aware of excessive contour,blush, highlight and setting powders. Not saying you cant wear it just be mindful of how much you are putting on your face is all. Less is usually more.

Drink water

Hydrate. It doesn’t matter if you think it will clear your skin or not. Keeping your body hydrated will keep your body balanced and remove toxins from your body which will majorly contribute to clearing your skin. The healthier and more balanced you are on the inside the more likely your skin is going to appear more healthy and balanced. It truly starts on the inside. I like to drink a gallon a day but the recommend daily intake is 64 ounces. PS. I Never Drink Soda!

Acceptance.

Everyone has breakouts. Majority of people have acne. Alot more people have textured skin than you think. People deal with eczema. Most people deal with hyper pigmentation. I have to deal with clogged hair follicles from time to time. everyone has something on their face that bothers them! Its okay to have “flaws” sometimes the best skin care tip is to accept your face because its your face and it tells your story and there is nothing - nothing more special in this world than you! Our body’s are constantly changing , adapting and growing and our face is no exception to that. Learning to accept and embrace that you will go through break outs, dark spots, weird bumps and rashes and some times might be worst then other times is the healthiest thing you can do.

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