#growing up but never growing apart
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you don’t know all my stories anymore, and i
don’t know yours,
but i still know the password to your phone, and
you still know mine.
#growing up#dark academia#books#chaotic academia#cottagecore#cottagecore aesthetic#growing up but never growing apart#slightly inspired by real events#best friends#home#love#soulmates#notes app poetry#spilled poetry#poem#original poem#musings
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my martha knight au in a nutshell:
Danny/Martha: see up here?
Danny/Martha: *taps skull*
Danny/Martha: intense psychological damage
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Danny/Martha: *upon finding out she's pregnant*
Danny/Martha: oh my god i cant be a mom, I'm fifteen and homeless--
Danny/Martha: im going to be a terrible mother--
Danny/Martha: i live in a cAR--
Danny/Martha: what if the baby inherits my powers? Oh no--
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Danny/Martha post giving birth: i've only had Bruce for a minute and a half but if anything were to happen to him i won't even need to fuse with Vlad, I'm razing this goddamn planet to the ground myself
Danny, to Baby Bruce: you are the last remaining thread of my sanity. I'm going to give you the world :)
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Danny/Martha prior to getting pregnant: Fuck it, if everything in my life has led to this moment, i'm allowed to make one stupid decision. I'm getting drunk and getting laid
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Danny/Martha while Bruce was a toddler: i swear to fucking god i am going to kill the next person who talks to me--
Bruce: hi mommy!! i brought you something!!!
Danny/Martha, immediately flipping on a dime: hi baby!! what do you have?
Bruce, a weird child like his mother: a spider :)
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Danny/Martha, talking to Falcone after he made an unsavory comment at her and Bruce: If you ever come near me or my son again, I will dig up your shithead father's corpse and make you eat his skin.
Danny/Martha: do you understand me
Falcone:... crystal, ma'am
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Danny/Martha new in Gotham: *getting mugged*
Danny/Martha: *grabs man's arm*
Danny/Martha: I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF LIKE A TWIG, FUCK BOY, DO YOU HEAR THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH--
(she then proceeds to terrorize Gotham's night life for the next extended period of time, mostly unintentionally)
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Danny/Martha: Danny Fenton?? No. you must be mistaken, my name is Martha Knight.
Danny/Martha: this here is my littlest knight, Bruce.
Danny/Martha: I made him all by myself :]
#if martha could become the joker in one timeline if bruce died then she had to have SOMETHIGN going on up there mentally. im all for it#im a 'martha wayne may have been secretly batshit' truther. subscribing to bruciemilf's portrayal of the wayne parents#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#fem danny fenton#female danny fenton#martha knight au#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dp x dc#giving danny fenton psychological issues since 2022 folks#points at marthadanny: she's a hot mess with unprocessed trauma and psychological prblems. she's hanging on by a thread#LISTEN TO AFTER ALL BY CHRISTINE EBERSOLE THAT SUMS UP MARTHADANNY ENTIRELY#bruce your mom is even crazier than you. how is that possible. her trauma has trauma.#marthadanny: i dont wanna talk about my feelings OR my trauma i want to raise my son. go away#martha: who knew that being a child hero without any support would result in deeply rooted psychological issues and paranoia in spades#marthadanny: im fine (<- experienced liar. is not fine. please god someone restrain her before she claws someone's eyes out)#she has eyebags the size of the savanna and wields red lipstick like a weapon. she's going to rob a rich man blind. she has a baby to feed#what would a mother not do for her child? what heights would a mother not climb.#and you're shaken to your soul with an ache that you cant erase. like the tears you never cried but still keep scrubbing off your face.#there's a pain you cant imagine. the little talk that keeps you wide awake that somehow turns to bold determination that you wont ever make#the same mistake. so you've got to feed your little future and ensure her talent poise and charm might just grow up and save you after all#fun fact bruce and danny's birthdays are exactly one week apart. danny is Feb.12 and Bruce is Feb.19. take that as you will :)
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Will never get over how Starscream and Skyfire's relationship is always doomed. There's never an iteration of them where they both stay on the same side at the end. They always end up being against each other, tearing each other apart (whether intentionally or not). They always end up losing each other, be it by a snowstorm, by the war, or by death itself. They never receive a happy ending together, one if not both of them is doomed to suffer.
Skyfire is doomed to be an Autobot, by forces out of his control. Starscream is doomed to be an Decepticon, by his own self destructive tendencies. They are both doomed, because of who they are. They always try to save the other, in their own way. But it never works. They are doomed to fail, whether they stay together or not.
#Starscream and skyfire are parallels of optimus and Megatron. do you understand me.#believing in someone when no one else did. seeing something worth supporting when no one else did. being the one person they trust.#they both ended up being torn apart by the war and their own ideals. losing each other because of their conflicting views.#one became an autobot and the other became a decepticon. one of them must fall.#i have lots of feelings about them yknow.#doomed yaoi shit going on here#will never get over how much g1 starscream cared about skyfire. like. he kept trying to have skyfire stay by his side#he was still a shitty guy and treated skyfire like shit but there was genuine care and emotion under it all. he still cared#i need a universe where they get to reconcile. where they get to be happy. pull an earthspark and let them be friends again#i need a skyfire who learns to love and accept post-war Starscream. i need a Starscream who despite everything still want skyfire with him.#i need them not to be doomed but rather learn and grow. accept the flaws and faults of the past and learn to move on#can you tell i love skystar#can you tell i love them#skyfire#jetfire#starscream#transformers#transformers g1#g1 transformers#the fire burns#skystar
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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Trolls Band Together Spoilers
(Clay and Bruce trying their best)
One thing I’ve been dying to talk about are the little ways Bruce and a lay take care of their other siblings and why.
It’s all in the little stuff! Like I am of the belief that Bruce and Clay are so close is because they could only really find solidarity in each other. Growing up no one liked how JD pushed them to be perfect, but Bruce and Clay were the only ones who felt pushed in a box, they were the only ones who got angry.
Floyd was always the peace maker and Branch was a baby so the only ones who understood their anger was each other.
Clay and Bruce always have each others backs, but I wanna talk about how they take care of baby Branch.
Like when Branch is listening to the broad cast with Velvet and Veeneer, Bruce notices Branch’s worry and turns off the radio. (Bruce also carried around Tiny bc he is a true dad.)
During the ‘It takes two’ song, Branch pulls out his blue prints and John Dory immediately pushes Branch out of the way to take control and you can see Clay and Bruce wince like they know it’s a bad idea before Clay pulls John away for the transition shot.
Not to mention Clay and Bruce seem so unironically excited to see Baby Branch that they side like JD, and I know that was probably because they’re still on weird terms with JD, but I don’t think their happiness to see BB was only for pettiness sake.
Maybe there’s some stuff I missed because I only saw the movie once and I looked down at some points to take notes so may haps I missed some back ground stuff but if there is please tell me!
#trolls spoilers#trolls band together#dreamworks trolls#I like calling Branch Baby Branch I’m sorry#trolls bruce#trolls clay#trolls Branch#trolls john dory#I Wanna go more into depth abt how JD became a parent child and how that affected his relationship with his brothers#BECAUSE ITS SO INTERESTING PLEASE#Like the concept of how these siblings grew apart but do deeply care for each other means so much#Floyd was probably the one who was there for Branch the most!#Bruce and Clay felt a bond bc they both were in happy!#JD felt alone because of his position and even tried to go back to see Branch and Rosiepuff only to think that they died!!!#Thats sick and twisted!!!!#They all still treat branch like a baby bc they never saw him grow up!!!#except for Floyd who’s the emotional intelligence of the brothers#and bruce only had smaller children so he doesn’t know how to take his baby brother growing up
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Call Down The Hawk ch 34 // Greywaren ch 42
#declanedit#trcedit#tdtedit#Declan Lynch#TRC#TDT#quote posts#the parentification is SO STRONG in this one#he never got the chance to be a kid when he actually was one#now he's 20yo and he's falling apart at the seams cuz he was forced to grow up too fast#you weren't born that way sweetie you were adapting to an unstable home life and parents you didn't feel you could rely on#it wasn't fair on you#it's still not fair#you deserved and deserve better
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#made it through#cried a lot#something about being 20 in your childhood home and moving into your apartment in a big city in a few weeks makes it hit VERY hard#taylor swift#speak now tv#never grow up
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thinking about todd and his resolve toward… not quite isolation, but being alone in a room full of people again. he goes along to the study room to sit on his own and do his homework, he sits at the poets table and follows along with what’s being said while keeping quiet, he goes to the meetings at all but doesn’t necessarily contribute (in fact, if you watch him when cameron is telling the story ‘from camp in sixth grade’, you can see that he recognizes it before any of the other poets but doesn’t voice it until they all have). he’s not alone, necessarily, if you want to get technical about it, he’s just lonely, and he’s generally okay with that. he doesn’t have friends and that’s fine, he doesn’t participate in class and that’s fine, he doesn’t have a relationship with his family and that’s fine—he could live without any real connection and he’d have been, more or less, fine.
the thing about when he says ���i can take care of myself just fine!” is that he isn’t really wrong, you can infer that he’s been doing it his entire life anyway, it’s that ‘taking care of yourself’ isn’t the same thing as really living or being happy. todd’s an introvert, certainly, and even as he gets closer to the group he defaults to sitting quietly in the background, but he’s also denying himself community out of fear not introversion. todd isn’t friendless because he’s an introvert, although that definitely plays a part, he’s friendless because he pushes anyone that might want his company away. if anyone has every wanted for his attention in the first place. (neil’s unwavering interest in him is unique (even when it comes to the rest of the poets, who are fine with todd coming along and joining the group, but aren’t really hellbent on him being there in the beginning) and his refusal to accept it is a direct result of being so lonely growing up.)
there’s obviously something to be said about the implications of his parents neglect, and the more than likely fact that he grew up friendless, and how those both play a part in in him being so skilled at dodging social interaction/being so avoidant of it, but by the time we see him in the movie he’s all but accepted his fate as being alone his entire life. he’s already accepted being the family disappointment, and he’s already accepted he’ll never amount to anything, and he obviously doesn’t like it, but he’d have managed living with that knowledge without the confirmation that it was all wrong. would he have been miserable? almost certainly. but he’d have managed. he’d done it for that long already, anyhow.
#and like obviously it’s BAD in the long run and his isolation IS only making his life worse but… genuinely he’d have been alright#all things considered#it’s super interesting to me how it’s neil who starts the domino effect of todd’s life becoming Less Shit#both by beliving in him and putting faith in him that he’s never seen before and refusing to let him hide away#but it isn’t a savior moment on neil’s part#and i find it so odd when people frame it as one#todd is like… actively irritated at him in that scene 😭#neil is right that todd needs to get out of his shell and put himself out there and Believe in himself#but todd can’t accept it yet because he can’t see what neil sees in him yet and doesn’t believe it exists at all#and it frustrates him because unlike everyone else neil REFUSES to give up on him#and as far as todds concerned it’ll be for nothing#as far as todd’s concerned neil isn’t a savior or a hero in that scene he’s an annoyance#a necessary one in the grand scheme of things but an annoyance all the same#i think people forget that just because todd DOES want to break out of his shell (‘don’t you think you could be?’ / ‘no! i… i don’t know!’ +#‘come on you heard keating don’t you want to *do* something about it?’ / ‘*yes* but…’) doesn’t mean he knows how or believes he actually CAN#todds autonomy can be taken away from him a lot (ironic) and he can be twisted into someone with no opinions or thoughts or whims +#outside of neil but that isn’t really the case#and a part of that blame lands on the movie because todd doesn’t get explored a lot but there’s still evidence of him being his own person#he’s not a yesman and he tells neil when his ideas are stupid (keeping the audition from his father) or he just doesn’t personally agree +#(the entire ‘no’ scene) and he functions perfectly well when neil isn’t around and while they aren’t focuses +#there are short scenes where todds alone or scenes that start eith them apart that make it clear they aren’t attatched to each other +#in the way people can often write them to be (that is in the trenches if the other is missing)#this post and all these tags are my long winded way of saying FUCK the codependent anderperry thing some people subscribe to it makes me#mad#neil’s goal is to help todd grow into himself and become his own person and find his identity more than anything#and todd doesn’t need neil to hold his hand to do literally anything and everything he’s a normal guy with anxiety#come on guys#dps#dead poets society#todd anderson
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#prefacing this with I Know Spanish. i cant not know spanish‚ my parents don't speak english#but im the only one of my siblings that didnt get to go to school over there 🇲🇽 (just pre school)#adn the thing is like. my siblings wld talk to me in eng of course#(if they talked to me at all! what do u say to a baby when you're 9 12 and 15 yrs older.)#and my parents wld similarly jst not talk to me? i did not have conversations with them from birth to now lol.#thjere is something about how like. my sisters kids are also learning the languages at the same time#but when they mess up in spanish theyre corrected‚ by my sister (their mom)‚ my other sister‚ my parents#why not Me. why wasnt that extended to Me as a child...#the same reason I have the least amount of baby pictures while my siblings all have one full book each i bet#the same reason why my and my eldest sister are 15 yrs apart LOL#igts so crazy to me. i hate mentioning this bc people assume#im one of those ppl who isnt fluent bc their parents speak english and spanish and never taught them#my parents dont speak english❗❗❗❗#my nephew thats older than me who is my fave family member and also only speaks spanish#is coming up on sunday idk that i can fully carry convo with him!#pure spanglish bc i didnt grow up having convos in it writing it reading it#thats why im so desperate to read books in spanish now. im so deeply ashamed#igts so crazy. i hate it.#saw a comment on smthng the other day thats like ''idk how u can have parents that only speak spanish and not know it lol''#well can you take a guess. can u take a guess as to how that would happen via interactions. lack thereof.#idk why but its even more embarrassing this way. genuinely how cld u not know...?#its like i was born to feel isolated from my family in every single way...youngest by so many years#the language thing. the Hates Eating thing. the trans thing. most severe failure to launch#im so embarrassed to be alive....!#and i dont belong anywhere. and i am Alone wherever I am.#abandoned by direct and distant relatives. ancestors.
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Took me forever and a day but abracadabra!
Starting tomorrow we will be getting some sporadic Glenn. If you have not heard of Glenn he went on a BC and fell hard for Grayson (100 friendship, 96 romance) but lost out to Clive, by far the better man (If you tell Glenn I said that I will deny it). He'll need some time to recover but after that expect self-assured silly Glenn to reemerge!
Because context is one of my favourite things the first thing we'll be doing is meeting the other coven members who share houses on the lot. There are a lot of them so I'll try go one at a time, and of course throw in the links to download them as they appear. They won't be main characters, but I'm proud of them and want to share who is peopling the background.
#Ramble ramble ramble#coming up#The lot took me forever#You've no idea#Did every spellcaster need a unique wand and familiar#No but I gave them ones anyway#And checked their orientations#And motherlode for everyone#And cheat up their levels to what they should be#Apart from Glenn's house you'll just see living rooms#But that didn't stop me furnishing rooms for everyone did it#I did six different lounges and kitchens#I never want to see a sofa again#Oh and the tower#I love the tower#There's not much landscaping#But that's deliberate#Plants can't grow until Glenn gets on it#He is my plant man#If you read this far in the tags I love you!
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thinking about mikkel again. its sooo fucked up
#dark netflix#spoilers in the tags but#i cant think about him too long or i start to lose it#just him slowly living those 33 years. watching his parents grow up watching his siblings be born watching Himself be born#seeing himself grow up and not being able to do anything about it#being so so close to the family u lost but can never be apart of again#all the while getting closer and closer to the day It happened#n then him realizing the role he has to play...#its!! fucked!! up!!!!!
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Thinks about Soap who felt so out of place with his family that he ran to enlist the moment he could to avoid dealing with the complications of his future with them in it.
Thinks about Soap who felt so out of place with his family that he ran to enlist the moment he could to avoid dealing with the complications of his future with them in it.
Thinks—
#about the mw3 ending#mmmmm#soap family angst#imagine if like. his avoidance led to a point in his life where his parents passed when he was on duty#and he just buried himself further in his work to avoid those feelings again#he has one sibling (my hc)#but his avoidance also pushed him apart from his sister beyond repair (he can repair the relationship but he never does. also because he-)#mannnn#this man ruins me always#putting this + in contrast with Ghost's situation with his family/past#man x2#angst#mw3 spoilers#ig?#anyway#soap#john soap mactavish#(-also because he died before he could repair the relationship)#this is me filling in the gaps of - why the taskforce was the only one there in his funeral#also sister because he doesn't seem like a man who didn't grow up with a sister idk how to explain this to you other than like#divine visions and vibes told me so
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You guys know on how InuYasha, the few times he talks about it, badmouths his father and says he doesn't care to avenge his death when he battles Ryukoltsei?
I wonder if InuYasha starts to regret his mindset towards his father once he himself becomes a father. Or at the very least, he starts to understand his father better. Especially if you want to go by the Movie 2 canon where part of Toga's death was from protecting InuYasha and his mom.
Just makes me wonder if InuYasha looks at Moroha or any of his other children and has the thought that it'd break his heart if any of his kids felt resentment towards him like he felt for his own father, especially when everything he ever does is to protect them. And I wonder if it makes InuYasha start to look at his father's memory differently, now that he's a parent himself and would do anything and everything to protect his kids, even if it meant dying and leaving them without a father.
Not that he'd go and try to get himself killed, as he wants to actually be alive so they don't have to grow up like he did, but you know he'd sacrifice himself if it meant his children could live, just like his father did for him (according to movie 2).
I don't know, I just wonder if InuYasha starts to ever regret the way he looked at his father's memory back when he was a teen once he becomes a father to Moroha and starts to understand his father's actions as a parent now that he himself is a parent. Ya know what I mean?
#not that Inuyasha will ever have to worry about missing his daughter's life because nothing bad ever happens to break any of them apart#and the same for any other potential children he and Kagome has#its just a hypothetical#Yashahime? i don't know her#all I know is Teenage InuYasha vs. Papayasha#and how differently the 2 must have thought on the same topics#like their father. and how InuYasha felt so bitter or angry at his dad for leaving him in the name of protecting him#while simultaneously secretly yearning and missing the opportunity to know him#versus Papayasha who looks at Moroha & any other potential kids with the overwhelming understanding that they are his whole world#and he'd do anything to protect them. including laying down his life if it came down to it#& how he realizes that his father felt the same way for him & in that way Inu starts to understand his father in ways he didn't before#but he also understands how hard it is to survive without a parent esp. as a hanyou & refuses to let himself get killed battle-#-leaving Moroha and his other kids at the mercy of struggling in the world without his protection#so he resolves himself that. while he is willing to die for his kids. he must work even harder to STAY ALIVE for them above all else#so that they never have to grow up without him and wonder if he even cared or why he wasn't with them#the way he did with his own father#inuyasha#inukag#moroha#moroha higurashi#inukag child#inukag baby#inukag family#inu no taisho#inuyasha family#inuyasha movie 2#inuyasha headcanons#inuyasha theory#post canon
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Fic-to-Art #27: Azula, Mai and Ty Lee's friendship
This month's prompt was friendship, and while the contest was fierce, ultimately the oldest of Gladiator's friendships won out. Therefore, I drew these small pieces to show the progression of the bond between these three within the story :D
The first two scenes aren't 1:1 with anything shown in the story, they're more along the lines of things I never got to write but always imagined likely between them. I'll always believe Ty Lee was the instigator of this friendship, and I can't imagine anything more suitable for her than to pick out the two girls she found interesting in school and deciding they would all be friends, while the two girls in question remained entirely confused about the whole thing.
Fast forward a few years later, and as a lot of the baggage and chaos from canon never happened, Azula, Mai and Ty Lee get to stay friends as they grow older, bonding over things that weren't depicted here (such as their experience in Ember Island, sans Zuko, where they got to understand each other better, Ty Lee's fall from grace, Mai's choice regarding who to marry...), mainly because I really didn't have the time to expand on everything. So, as tough as things could get, these three stuck it out together and no matter if Azula is too busy to hang out with them sometimes, theirs is the kind of friendship that all of them can always return to, with full awareness and trust that they'll always have each other's backs.
The last scene is my favorite scene between them altogether, and it's their conversation right before Ty Lee's wedding. It's a really heartfelt moment where Ty Lee is unusually vulnerable and very honest about what these two mean to her, and this time both Azula and Mai drop all pretenses and are completely honest about how much they care about her too. It's pretty much the crystallization of that friendship in one of my favorite chapters to write, ever!
So... there we go! Hope you guys like it! If you want to be part of the creative process behind these pieces, a $1 pledge is enough to make you eligible for suggesting and voting for prompts, as well as reading Gladiator snippets 6 days before the new chapter is released!
#gladiator#azula#mai#ty lee#I don't get to draw these three often because they all have lives of their own#so mai and ty lee return once in a while in the story#it always has been like that#but a lowkey great thing about Gladiator was the fact that these three never really fell apart#even when sometimes they clash and have conflicts#their friendship was just much more solid than in canon because they went through a lot of things#and actually had a chance to grow up#and really get to understand each other no matter how different they may be#those differences are literally what makes their bonds and dynamics worthwhile so#I'll always be glad this story allowed me to explore a world where there's no need for distrust and conflict between them#no backstabbing or threats or name-calling... they're just friends#and it just feels right exactly as it is *wipes tear*
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thinking about a no upside down au steddie fic where steve and eddie run into each other years after moving away from hawkins, and eddie remembers steve and his fall from grace as king, and is kind of intrigued to see what kind of person he is now
and steve doesn’t remember him at all at first, because, look, eddie changed his hair again, and steve’s had a few head injuries (no upside down but i imagine he still went thru some shit with the party and with robin), and he didn’t really think about eddie in high school anyway, and he’s trying to forget about hawkins as much as possible (besides the kiddos, but they’re all moved out for college now, anyway) (obviously he lives with robin)
but steve is different now, happier, more open, flirts with guys, flirts with EDDIE, and eddie….. well, he wants to know more! and he tells steve he knows him from hawkins, and steve’s sunny little smile flickers a little, but he just apologizes for not remembering him and mentions he has some memory problems
and they get to know each other, and eventually as eddie tells him more (and maybe with the help of some yearbooks) steve remembers eddie. and. well. they like getting to know each other. and they like each other. and then they get together
eventually they’ve been together for a while, and eddie thinks he wants to maybe introduce steve to wayne, and he mentions he’s going to go back to hawkins for a long weekend (as he’s done a couple times) and this time he’d like steve to join him
and again steve’s sunny smile flickers a bit, but he says he’d love to meet eddie’s uncle, and… they go to hawkins. and it goes well— meeting wayne, at least, but steve seems a little on edge the whole time they’re there, tense when they drive in, fidgety when they go to the grocery store, et cetera. eddie thinks maybe steve is nervous about staying with the man who raised eddie, which is ridiculous, because wayne LOVES steve.
it’s not til they leave the town altogether that steve relaxes, and eddie realizes it wasn’t “meeting the parents” but rather going back to hawkins. and speaking of meeting the parents, steve didn’t ever bring his own up, even though eddie knew they still lived in hawkins. and the way steve glanced around whenever they went in public, like he was scared of getting recognized
and he asks about it, and steve doesn’t really want to talk about it, but he gives eddie snippets of it. people he wanted to leave behind in hawkins, memories that resurfaced, things he wants to forget
eddie goes back to see wayne sometimes, and the first time he doesn’t know whether to ask steve to come, so he just mentions he’s thinking about going to hawkins for some weekend and steve immediately starts making plans with him as if the invite is implicit. they go back to hawkins several more times, steve still tense and pent up the whole time they’re there
over time steve reveals more and more to eddie. everything that made hawkins hell for him, from the things he himself did in high school to the things people did to him. stuff tommy and carol and billy said to him. some of it is just typical high school bullshit (and oh, the nancy thing.) some of it is the tragedies steve went through, the horrors he had to protect his kids from. the injuries he sustained. more generally the homophobia that permeated the whole town, keeping steve from being himself. the lack of support in the indiana public school system for a high school senior who’s had two concussions and gone through incredible trauma.
his parents. the reason why steve’s mail is addressed to ‘steve buckley’ now, not ‘steve harrington’.
(that doesn’t come out until much, much later, and eddie is kicking himself for ever suggesting steve come back to hawkins.)
eddie, who hardly had an easy time of it in hawkins, is absolutely blown away by what steve had gone through in the same town, right under his nose. the entire persona that steve was trying to leave behind — the cool as a cucumber, unaffected, douchey mask he wore to hide all that he had endured. the head injuries. the emotional tragedies he had gone through. the way he had to be the rock for the kids even as he went through the same things as them.
he tries to tell steve they never have to go back to hawkins again, and steve is having none of it. he tells steve wayne can come visit them in their new city, and steve thinks that’s completely unfair to the man who had raised eddie, seriously, you’re going to make him come all the way up here?
and well i don’t know exactly what the ending is but steve is so stubborn about trying to love hawkins because it was eddie’s home and he wants to be able to go see wayne because wayne deserves to see his kid and eddie deserves to see his uncle and steve doesn’t want to be the problem :(
#steddie#stranger things#this isn’t very fleshed out but just. hawkins as an incredibly scarring place for steve#something built up in his mind as a very dangerous place for him not just because of what happened there but who he had to be there#i think ultimately it would culminate in them going back to hawkins and running into steve’s parents when they least expect it#and steve gets to yell at them in public and tell them they suck and ruin their image and eddie is being his little guard dog next to him#baring his teeth#for the no upside down part of the au i think it would have to be like. nebulous tragedy of season 1 struck them#barb still died (sorry barb) so that his relationship with nancy falls apart. will and el are twins and they disappear the same night#steve knows the kids earlier in the timeline in this one and has already basically adopted them when will and el go missing#eddie was never the victim of a massive witch hunt but jason still harasses him during his third senior year and gets ppl to gang up on him#so he was never like Wanted by all of hawkins and can never return but he sure doesn’t feel welcome there besides w wayne#oh i also think it would be important that one of the trips steve snaps at eddie bc he’s so strung out and immediately regrets it#and takes it as proof that when in hawkins Steve Is A Bad Person and tries to explain this to eddie#eddie meanwhile is trying to convince steve that he’s not a bad person and that he was being mean because he’s completely stressed out#and he wouldn’t be so stressed out if he didn’t make himself come back to hawkins#anyway ultimately. steve realized hawkins is just a place where bad things happened. it is not a place that makes people (including himself)#bad. it’s just. a place. and steve did not grow and change for the better bc he got out of hawkins. he got better bc he put the effort in#god i just. love steve so much and the version of him in my mind is so much better developed than what the duffers are doing
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- Why was Ryouga the only one immune to the Trinoid's attack? - Ryo-chan doesn't hate anyone or anything!
#it's scary how many screenshots i have of him. i edited even more caps but decided these are already enough. he's definitely my favorite#imagine you're a 23 year old—young adult who lost all your family except for your niece#so you selflessly decide you will be her dad/guardian. but no one taught you how to take care of a child. you're not sure if you're doing#the right thing for her. oh no mai chan is influenced by a bad TV program. it must be your fault for spending too much time with your#abaranger obligations and not enough time taking care of her. you must be a terrible father for mai chan. but even you are struggling#you picked up so many odd jobs and niche talents growing up just to survive. for the two of you. the apartment you lived? gone#during the bakuryuu attack. so now you're living under someone's shelter. yet you never lose hope patience and kindness for others#that extends to even the evil doctor who always gets in your way because you believe in the goodness in everyone#HAKUA RYOGA I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH. i saw that poll asking if ryouga is the superior dilf. and while im not sure about the dilf part#no one surpasses ryouga for me! abared all the way!#hakua ryouga#伯亜凌駕#nishi koichiro#西興一朗#bakuryuu sentai abaranger#爆竜戦隊アバレンジャー
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