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bugblast ¡ 1 year ago
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starting the year right with magic and imp :]
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watcherintheweyr ¡ 9 months ago
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desperately need people to understand that alicent is a victim but she’s also an abuser and a perpetrator
that she actively makes choices to harm other women because of jealousy and envy and the greed deep in her bones because submitting to suffering didn’t get her what those women fight to grasp for themselves.
she is absolutely a victim, in show.
that doesn’t change that she abused rhaenyra and her children, her own son, most likely helaena given how she flinches every time her mother touches her, and is actively weaponizing the patriarchy of westeros against other women- rhaenyra primarily, but also mysaria and dyana.
she isn’t the moral, righteous force of good that even she thinks she is, she’s a wounded woman directing all of the rot, pain, and fury inside her at the wrong people and forces.
#anti team green stans#anti team green#anti alicent hightower stans#i don’t wanna say it’s anti alicent bc honestly it’s more ‘accept her for who she is bc she’s so much more complex and interesting when you#but i made this bc someone genuinely tried to say that the reason people hate her is that they don’t see her as a victim#most rational people know show!alicent is a victim#it’s the point that’s she’s an abuser as well#that makes them dislike her#that she’s a hypocrite and a traitor#i don’t even like young alicent bc i don’t at all think she was a good friend to rhaenyra#‘it’s not your place to question the plots of lords and men’ to the named heir#dismisses rhaenyra’s hopes and idealism entirely out of hand#is baffled that rhaenyra is more worried for her fathers happiness and mother’s wellbeing than her position#she knew as early as ep 3 that otto was conspiring against rhaenyra and never told anyone#condemns ‘targaryen customs’ only to wed her daughter to her son even younger than she was when otto dangled her before viserys#acts entitled to rhaenyras secrets whilst condemning and judgemental even though she did not give rhaenyra that same courtesy#made no attempt at apology for the insensitive comment of aegon’s birth#though rhaenyra DID try to apologize for the ‘imprisoned in a castle’ line and tried to comfort her#uses her power as queen to push past the space rhaenyra is trying to create because she feels heartbroken and betrayed#rhaenyra took part in alicent’s culture with prayer at alicent’s urging because she cared about alicent and alicent was trying to help her#alicent is never once shown to return that favor instead condemning it for ‘queerness’ and growing to later#erase and remove all targaryen and valyrian heraldry from the red keep to replace with her own#like alicent is a victim and i DO have empathy for her. but i don’t like her and never will#especially not after the way her stans behave#she deserved better than otto’s machinations and viserys’…. viserysness#but that can also be true whilst i condemn her actions and behaviors
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loverboybrightsideghost ¡ 17 days ago
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one of my favorite clark headcanons that i have (that is completely unsupported by canon) is that he's transgender by kryptonian standards. martha and jon kent raised him as a boy and as he grew up he never had any reason to doubt it at all, he was like yeah i'm a boy, makes sense. and then he gets to the fortress of solitude for the first time and it turns out how Gender works on krypton was just Different enough that clark doesn't really fit the kryptonian standards of whatever he was supposed to be. bonus points because this makes him feel like even more of an outsider as a kryptonian, even if he's the last one left.
#do i know what those kryptonian gender customs are? no and i kind of don't care to come up with them#just cuz that's not my favorite thing to do but someone else can if they like my idea#i just love the idea of 1) trans clark 2) clark discovering his heritage but also as he learns more about his heritage#realizing that because of how he was raised- and it was nobody's fault- even though it's the only explanation for why he's so different#from humans he still can't help but feel like he's not a real kryptonian either#brought to you by THIS STARTED AS A FUN HEADCANON FOR HIM TO BE TRANS IN A COOL ALIEN WAY#BUT TURNED OUT TO BE ACTUALLY PROJECTION OF SOME PERSONAL SHIT I HAVE ONLY CONSCIOUSLY THOUGHT ABOUT LIKE TWICE SO OOPS#bluebird.txt#superman#was watching superman 1978 and i don't have any real thoughts about it yet but i'm just rotating in my head#that jor-el said 'this is your home.' when describing krypton.#like. he's never been there. he can never go there. it doesn't exist anymore and he will be raised human.#he will be raised in a world that is so completely unlike his own and he will not grow up with as a kryptonian.#and yet jor-el says of krypton 'this is your home.'#like just give me a moment.#so interesting to me who considers who what. some guy in high school#told me i wasn't mexican because i din't recognize some candies my (cuban) teacher brought back when he visited mexico#he said i wasn't even latino#well first of all that guy was a first-class asshole seriously my kudos to him#for having such an impressive amount of hatred and unhappiness in his little soul#second of all. he didn't think i was latino. my own sister only calls me mexican when it's convenient for her#my parents are proud of their american children and in high school my mexican (as in grew up there) friend wa always proud#to call me a fellow mexican (or at least a chicana)#so i just find it so fascinating that in this movie jor-el says son you will never know your birthplace your parents's home firsthand#but it is your home.#my parents would never EVER call mexico my home i don't think they'd even call it THEIR home#i just. i'm thinking about it a lot.#high fives clark kent in child of immigrants and everything that means swag solidarity
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mymarifae ¡ 7 months ago
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have you ever considered that jade's hot
all of the hsr women are hot, man. this is a hoyoverse game. of course they are. what does this have to do with a discussion about her character
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grandquest ¡ 9 days ago
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Shaved my head again tonight and it reminded me. I have been feeling like complete garbage thanks to some unsolicited comments abt my appearance
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a-flickering-soul ¡ 1 year ago
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Favorite easy recipe?
i love this QUESTION!!! whenever idk what to eat i'll make this lentil soup and it is GREAT it has protein and veggies and it is so good and adaptable and good for meal prep!! i'll put a picture of it here and add the recipe below the cut.
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adapted from this recipe
Ingredients: 1 cup red lentils (I’m serious, JUST one cup, it’ll make 3-4 servings), 3 cups low-salt chicken stock or water, mirepoix (diced carrot, celery, onion), 2 hot Italian sausages, a handful of kale (washed, stripped from the stems, and torn into pieces), oil, salt, whole spices (I used cumin, mustard seeds, and black pepper) and 3 tbsp lemon juice
Saute the mirepoix in oil until onions turn translucent, then add the sausage (removed from its casing), break it up, and let it get a little browned. Add in the stock/water and lentils (I added in the kale here too since it’s tough and needs a while to cook) and bring to a boil, then turn it down to a simmer and let it go for 15-30 minutes depending on how quickly your lentils cook, stirring every now and then. Somewhere around here, check for salt and add as much as you want. Right after you take it off the heat, add in the lemon juice. During the last 5 minutes or so, take some oil, heat it up, and fry the whole spices to make tadka (infused oil + bloomed spices). Make sure you keep an eye on it and keep it moving so nothing burns (takes about a minute, should smell really good). Serve with some bread if you want and a drizzle of tadka on top!
Kale can be substituted with any leafy green vegetable (spinach and Swiss chard would probably be really good), the tadka can totally be omitted, and the sausage can be swapped for a nice ham hock, chorizo, etc, or omitted entirely to make it vegan :) also I added extra lemon juice bc I like sour things but u don’t need to. This is also good with some hot sauce and/or Greek yogurt on top too!
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thetimelordbatgirl ¡ 9 months ago
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Ngl youtube videos suddenly got me slowly turning into a Justin Russo hater.
#like mainly later seasons him#early seasons him is fine#but like i guess plot wise you could argue he becomes more iffy because you know the competition will be soon#and justin does want to become the family wizard#as for some reason this show still never fully tackled the fucked up shit of the idea that wizard siblings have to grow up studying magic#only for one or two or whatever number siblings to lose it to one sibling in a competition#like stevie was the closest we got to that#but like it still dont make it less bad with how justin was#like the worst example i can name is him literally refusing to save alex whose his sister btw and shes always dropped shit to save him#because he wants to project onto her that she purposely fucked up his chances to get back into the competition via#pushing the students to take the test only for them to be failed because bad guy being bad guy in reality#and basically blames her for the failure and such as a result and acts like its all an act when she is mad on the students behalf and shit#and his students have to drag him kicking and screaming just to save her from the bad guy's shit#and there's also the competition itself where harper and zeke get grabbed by a creature during it#but alex has to convince her brothers to save the two and thats just cold already on justins end with zeke#but cause they took too long they all lose the competition and magic#and both brothers especially justin proceed to treat alex like shit even during work hours meaning#fucking over family business just to get at alex#and when the dad ultimately almost sells the place justin STILL blames alex#like she was the only one working fully max was being max and justin was being a little bitch to her#aka the infamous refusing to make her orders only max's and when he does he throws the sandwich at her#and cause she was holding drinks at the time and didnt see it coming the drinks went on a customer#and also throwing table trash into her already full bin shes carrying around while cleaning tables#and therefore messing it up for her like#and alex's logo...well from sounds of shit thats just justin again being a hateful bitch to his sister with zero consquiences#even one commenter pointing how he sadistically smiled while telling her all her friends hate her#like dear god if the show was doing this to make everyone root for alex its working i hate later season justin#gonna be interesting if hes matured or not as an adult
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wellenklavier ¡ 2 years ago
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auughh i want to do too many things theres not enough hours in the day or dollars in my bank account
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espialsolution ¡ 5 months ago
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Can Social Media Marketing Help Your Brand Grow?
In today’s digitally-driven world, social media marketing has evolved from a trendy buzzword to an essential strategy for businesses of all sizes. From startups to established enterprises, leveraging social media platforms can significantly contribute to brand growth. But how exactly can social media marketing help your brand grow? Let’s explore the key ways in which this powerful tool can elevate your brand.
1. Enhanced Brand Awareness
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2. Targeted Advertising
One of the standout features of social media marketing services is the ability to target specific audiences with precision. Platforms like Facebook and Instagram allow you to create highly targeted ads based on demographics, interests, behavior, and more. This means you can tailor your marketing efforts to reach people who are most likely to be interested in your products or services, resulting in higher conversion rates. Targeted advertising not only maximizes your marketing budget but also ensures that your brand message reaches the right people at the right time.
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Brands that actively engage with their audience on social media build stronger relationships with their customers. Responding to comments, answering queries, and even addressing complaints in a timely manner can foster loyalty and trust. Moreover, satisfied customers often share their positive experiences, leading to organic word-of-mouth promotion, which can be incredibly valuable for brand growth.
4. Insights and Analytics
Social media platforms offer robust analytics tools that provide insights into how your content is performing. These tools allow you to track metrics such as engagement rates, click-through rates, and audience demographics. By analyzing this data, you can refine your marketing strategies, focusing on what works and discarding what doesn’t. This continuous optimization is key to growing your brand effectively over time.
5. Increased Website Traffic and SEO Benefits
Social media marketing can drive significant traffic to your website. By sharing blog posts, product pages, and other valuable content on social media, you can entice users to visit your site, where they can learn more about your brand and offerings. Additionally, social media activity can indirectly influence your search engine rankings. While social signals are not a direct ranking factor, they contribute to the overall online presence of your brand, which search engines may consider when ranking your website.
6. Cost-Effective Marketing
Compared to traditional advertising methods, social media marketing is relatively cost-effective. Many platforms offer free account creation and posting options, with the option to run paid campaigns that can fit any budget. This makes social media an accessible tool for businesses of all sizes, particularly for startups and small businesses that may have limited marketing budgets. The return on investment (ROI) from well-executed social media campaigns can be substantial, making it a smart choice for brand growth.
Conclusion
Social media marketing services is a dynamic and versatile tool that can significantly contribute to your brand’s growth. From increasing brand awareness and engagement to driving website traffic and providing valuable insights, the benefits are vast. By strategically leveraging social media, your brand can not only reach new heights but also stay competitive in today’s fast-paced digital landscape.
About The Author
Espial Solutions serve Startups, SME, and large Enterprises,with SEO, SMM, PPC, Branding, and Digital Marketing services. . Contact for More Information!
#2. Targeted Advertising#interests#behavior#3. Customer Engagement and Relationship Building#answering queries#and even addressing complaints in a timely manner can foster loyalty and trust. Moreover#satisfied customers often share their positive experiences#leading to organic word-of-mouth promotion#which can be incredibly valuable for brand growth.#4. Insights and Analytics#click-through rates#and audience demographics. By analyzing this data#you can refine your marketing strategies#focusing on what works and discarding what doesn’t. This continuous optimization is key to growing your brand effectively over time.#5. Increased Website Traffic and SEO Benefits#Social media marketing can drive significant traffic to your website. By sharing blog posts#product pages#and other valuable content on social media#you can entice users to visit your site#where they can learn more about your brand and offerings. Additionally#social media activity can indirectly influence your search engine rankings. While social signals are not a direct ranking factor#they contribute to the overall online presence of your brand#which search engines may consider when ranking your website.#6. Cost-Effective Marketing#Compared to traditional advertising methods#social media marketing is relatively cost-effective. Many platforms offer free account creation and posting options#making it a smart choice for brand growth.#Conclusion#the benefits are vast. By strategically leveraging social media#About The Author
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sugoroo ¡ 2 months ago
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ʚɞ warnings: fem!reader, looking up skirt, panty stealing + sniffing + licking, masturbation, professional misconduct, 18+ minors dni.
pervy electrician!toji who unintentionally shows up a little earlier at your house than he was supposed to and is rewarded with the sight of a very unprepared you hurriedly rushing to answer the door in just a baggy t-shirt and a pair of fuzzy socks.
pervy electrician!toji whose usual disinterested expression he has permanently plastered upon his features during work hours morphs into one of subtle interest as his dark eyes leisurely drag up and down your figure — and damn, he never gets sent out to clients as hot as you.
pervy electrician!toji who greets you with a simple nod as he brushes past you to get inside, his scarred lips involuntarily twitching up into an amused half-smile at how you ramble out several apologies for not being ready for his arrival.
pervy electrician!toji who casually waves it off and assures you that he doesn't mind; and he definitely doesn't mind when it means that he gets to watch you walk around in front of him wearing that shirt that barely even covers your ass.
pervy electrician!toji who is as well-mannered as he has to be when conversing with a customer, but makes sure to inject a little more charm into his voice just for you as he drawls out "well, what seems to be the problem, ma'am?"
pervy electrician!toji who silently pats himself on the back when he notices you grow slightly flustered at the polite term he used to address you by, leaning against your kitchen counter as he watches you explain the issues you've had with your power frequently cutting out lately.
pervy electrician!toji who has to make a concerted effort to bite back a scoff when you explain that despite being married, your useless husband has no idea how to fix the problem himself so you had no choice but to resort to calling his company.
pervy electrician!toji who can hardly even comprehend that your sorry excuse for a husband just went to work for the day and left a precious thing like you here with no power; some fools really don't know how good they have it, do they?
pervy electrician!toji who finds a rare, genuine smile pulling at his lips when you joke lightly that you'd make him a cup of coffee if there was any power for the kettle. so you're pretty as hell and you have a good sense of humour... oh, he's in trouble.
pervy electrician!toji who investigates the fuse box located at the back of the cupboard under the kitchen sink while you dash upstairs to change into something more appropriate, humming a quiet tune under his breath while he works.
pervy electrician!toji who figures out what the issue is in no time at all — there's a small leak dripping from the pipe leading from the bottom of the sink that has trickled down and fried some of the wiring; shouldn't be too hard to fix.
but for some reason, he finds himself wanting to create a reason for him to stay around here just a little longer.
so, pervy electrician!toji 'accidentally' makes the leak even worse by using the spanner on his tool belt to stretch the hole in the pipe slightly wider, causing any working part left in the fuse box to fizzle out into uselessness as a result.
pervy electrician!toji who has to pretend to be inconvenienced by the problem that he just worsened once you return to the kitchen, scratching the side of his jaw and telling you that it'll take him atleast a couple of hours to try and salvage the fuse box.
pervy electrician!toji who isn't exactly lying when he says this; just refraining from telling you the whole truth that there is no way to fix the ruined thing now. the entire box has to be replaced and he doesn't happen to have a new one with him today.
...looks like he'll just have to come back tomorrow, too.
pervy electrician!toji who keeps himself busy pretending to attempt to mend things under the cupboard, but finds it quite hard not to be distracted by your pretty self sitting atop the counter where you insisted on staying to keep him company while he works.
but, at the end of the day, pervy electrician!toji is a man, after all — a man who can't help himself from sneaking a quick peek up the edge of the skirt you changed into, holding back a groan when he catches a small glimpse of your patterned panties.
pervy electrician!toji who claims he needs to use your bathroom a little while later, making sure you don't follow him up the stairs before sneaking through the hall until he finds you and your husband's shared bedroom.
pervy electrician!toji who finds himself rifling through his client's underwear drawer like a damn horny teenager, hastily pulling out a pair of cute panties similar the ones he knows you're wearing downstairs right now.
pervy electrician!toji who is way too worked up to feel any sense of shame as he pushes his baggy work trousers down, exposing the extremely noticeable tent and subsequent wet patch staining the front of his boxers.
"fuckin' hell," pervy electrician!toji rasps as he shoves a hand into his boxers, wrapping it around the base of his painfully throbbing cock as he begins languidly stroking himself. "driving me crazy here, girl." he mutters to himself.
pervy electrician!toji who can't stop himself from holding your panties up to his face, cursing under his breath when he remembers that these are a clean pair from your drawer. no — he needs a used pair if he wants to be able to properly get off.
pervy electrician!toji who sifts through your laundry hamper like a starving man searching for scraps of food in a dumpster, his movements fuelled by the sheer need to release the overwhelming desire coursing through his veins.
pervy electrician!toji whose scarred lips twitch up into a victorious smirk when he finally finds a dirty pair of your panties, wasting no time in pressing his nose against the slick-stained crotch and inhaling your scent. and fuck, is it an intoxicating smell.
pervy electrician!toji who is utterly pussydrunk without even being near your actual cunt, tongue instinctively flicking out on its own to lap lightly at the soiled material, a pornographic moan falling from his lips afterwards.
"shit. tastes s-so sweet, heh." pervy electrician!toji grunts as he resumes those earnest tugs of his furiously hard cock, his sloppy mouth just coating your dirty panties with his glistening salvia.
pervy electrician!toji who is cumming in record time like a downright pathetic and touch-starved virgin, one press of his thick thumb against his weeping tip causing it to spill rope after rope of milky release into his boxers.
pervy electrician!toji who does actually go to the bathroom after he's pulled his trousers up and shoved both pairs of stolen panties into his pockets, cleaning himself up as best he can and checking his reflection in the mirror to make sure he doesn't look too wrecked.
pervy electrician!toji who saunters downstairs and faces you with an easy smile as if he didn't just jerk off with your used underwear pressed against his mouth, sharing the news that he'll 'unfortunately' have to return tomorrow to replace the broken fuse box.
pervy electrician!toji who tells you his usual bill for the basic work he's done today, although secretly gives you a considerable discount — one because it's you, and two because he didn't actually do anything to fix your power issue and instead deliberately made it worse so he could stay longer.
pervy electrician!toji who releases an amused chuckle when you frantically dart around the house in search of your purse, coming to the sheepish conclusion that you must've left it in your husband's car that he drove to work this morning with.
pervy electrician!toji who simply shrugs and suggests that you pay him when he comes by tomorrow instead. little do you know, however, that you've already paid him... just in the form of an orgasm and two pairs of panties instead of money.
pervy electrician!toji who is counting down the seconds until he can see you again as he drives home in the company van, body relaxed and sated from his previous climax and pockets stuffed pleasantly full with stolen underwear.
he'd say that was all in good day's work.
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Š 2024 SUGOROO. please don't copy or translate any of my works without my explicit permission. all rights are reserved to me.
LIKES AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED!
pervy lifeguard!gojo <- PREVIOUS PART.
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approximately12lbs-of-ducks ¡ 1 year ago
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For the WIP title ask game, “DSMP space AU where Tommy and Wilbur are both humans that end up with alien crewmates Techno and Philza. Wilbur is known to be human. No one knows tommy is. I’m really normal about this one”! Very curious about this :D
And also if you wanna ramble about your extended Exile AU, absolutely go ahead >:D
*cackles gleefully while rubbing hands togetehr*
SO. In this AU, Tommy is kidnapped when he’s 12. He’s abducted by alien traffickers, and manages to escape and cobble together a life for himself. Details blurry. He learns how to move in a more twitchy, stuttering fashion - kind of like a bird - smoothes out his gait so it looks like he glides more than walks, constantly dyes his hands black using a pigment he commonly finds, holds his hands so his ring and pinky fingers are tucked into his palm and then wears gloves; he also wears a mask, reflective goggles, and then a veil over all of that. He basically does a ton of stuff to obscure his form with clothing and make it so that any human features he can’t hide are altered. He has a heavy accent but knows a fair bit of one of the more common alien dialects, enough to mostly converse with ease. He manages to get hired by Techno and Phil, two aliens, on a really shifty job as an engineer for their ship. Tommy’s been working on repairing ships for a couple years and has a pretty good idea of how they run, and so his boss recommended him when Techno and Phil asked for someone skilled (and who wouldn’t be missed incase they had to. Escort him off ship if yanno what I’m saying (they’re space mercenaries because of course they are)). Tommy takes the job cause it’s even more secluded than the back rooms of a space port, and because it pays mega bucks, and because he’s still trying to find a way home (the hope has dwindled down to almost nothing now but he has to keep ahold of it because he doesn’t know how to keep going without it).
upon boarding the ship, techno and Philza introduce him to another crewmate that they mentioned but Tommy never met before getting hired. His accent is extremely heavy and he clearly knows very little of the common dialect. Tommy thinks his accent is familiar but he just can’t place it - the new crewmate is very enthusiastic and friendly, despite techno and Phil seemingly a bit nervous about the two of them interacting. Tommy is delighted to discover that the crewmate can actually bully him right back, even with his limited vocabulary. It all goes wrong, however, when the next day Phil and techno sit tommy down and introduce him to Wilbur properly. Wilbur. Who is human. Who pulls off his mask to reveal warm brown eyes with white sclera and pale, hairless flesh and eyebrows and a mop of curly brown hair and glasses that are a bit crooked with a crack in them and a smile carefully not showing teeth and Tommy just freezes. and the next few months are frustrating and heartbreaking and it’s so hard. Because Philza and techno are deathly protective of Wilbur and love him, human as he is, and have emphasized so many times tk Tommy that Wilbur will not hurt him, that Wilbur is sentientc that Wilbur is emotional, that Wilbur feels love, that Wilbur has a complex personality - and it’s affirming and it’s terrible and Tommy is far too terrified to chance revealing himself as human. He’s also far too terrified that this is a trap. Is this a shapeshifter who saw a human and learned to mimic them? If he reveals himself as human, will he be locked up and sent to another place to be sold off for experiments or exotic zoos or other even more horrifying acts? Is this Wilbur a lure to catch other humans? Is he actually human, and still a lure, selling out his compatriots? Tommy is terrified. Terrified of being caught and hurt again. is the tune he has stuck in his head a human song? If Wilbur’s human and a traitor, will he recognize the tune if Tommy hums it? Will he put together how much T’mi sounds like ‘Tommy’ with the ‘o’ removed? is this catchphrase from earth that he translated into common a popular enough phrase on earth for Wilbur to get it?
But slowly, as it becomes clear that Wilbur is human and not a traitor or faking being a human, Tommy develops a new fear. He’s drilled his humanity out of himself, he doesn’t act human any way; what if they think HE’S a shapeshifter if he reveals himself? What if Wilbur is the exception and Philza and Techno still throw him out the airlock? Can Tommy even calm himself human? Being around Wilbur makes him realize he’s lost some of his grasp on English, his first language, what used to be his only language, because he’s barely spoken it for five years and he was so young when he was taken. He doesn’t remember much history, art, culture, he doesn’t remember how politics and currency worked, he doesn’t remember geography, he doesn’t know how his own body works, he - never got a chance to learn. He had just started middle school when he was taken and had never been that dedicated to his studies, other than English because he liked stories and making them. The details of what he did learn have become fuzzy. He doesn’t remember the feeling of grass. He doesn’t remember how the glow in the dark stars were arranged on his ceiling. He doesn’t remember how to get to the corner store from his house. He doesn’t remember the lyrics to his moms favourite song. He doesn’t feel human - he let so many details go in favour of survival, and because being human meant he was in danger. Holding onto the things that made him human would have gotten him killed. But each discovery of human experiences he missed, that he forgot, that he can’t remember anymore feels like a knife being pushed into his chest. He should be able to read Wilbur easier than anything else, because they’re the same species, but it’s the same as any other alien - Tommy has to RELEARN what some of Wilbur’s body language means. Tommy doesn’t feel human anymore, and he questions what he’s even trying to go home to.
And to top it all off, Wilbur is hurt that Tommy is ‘afraid’ of him, because at first Tommy avoided him out of terror of being caught, and now out of terror that he’s not good enough to consider himself human. Phil and Techno keep on giving him disappointed looks and talks and Tommy doesn’t know how to explain that he’s not scared of Wilbur hurting him but he’s so scared of what Wilbur Represents. And also the thought thag maybe- Wilbur will reject him. Confirm Tommy’s feelings that he’s not human anymore, be disappointed he can’t bond with Tommy over being from the same planet and speaking the same language. Tommy had a very hard few months lol. After a few months he starts to warm up to Wilbur though and relax around him, thanks to Wilbur’s incessant attempts to make friends with Tommy. He’s still terrified and closed off but he starts to loosen up a bit, and finds himself feeling at home with wil, tech and Phil, and sometimes, even, safe - even though it’s constantly tainted by the guilt of keeping himself hidden.
I’ve run several different scenarios for how Tommy does get revealed to be human; he gets sick and they try to strong arm him into going through the biometric scanner (which he refuses point blank to go into of his own volition), he accidentally responds to Wilbur in English (or similar scenario if Wilbur’s like ‘(in English) what’s this word in common’ and Tommy’s like ‘(in common) it translates to ___’), the ship gets attacked and he sheds his layers for easier maneuverability and also so he can use his nails and teeth and go feral as a treat (but which ultimately reveals him as human), just a gentle admittance to Wilbur one time after Wilbjr talks about earth and Tommy can’t contain his heartbreak anymore ((oh yeah Tommy def has some good angst moments of being homesick and trying to explain to his crewmates that he can’t just go home)); none of them fully satisfy me yet though. I’ll keep running the simulations lol
#reed’s shennanigans#This got. Long oops SKJDNFKDKDKNG#No EEAU content this time around cause this post is long enough on its own LOL#Been having brainrot about EEAU!beeduo tho#OH YEAH Tommy is 17 and Wilbur’s 26#Wilbur’s been in space just under two years and Tommy’s been in space like 5 and then some#Wilbur was rescued by Phil and techno from the traffickers that had him#Wilbur was freed after about ~10 months of capture#He wanted to go home at first but is making peace with being in space#It’s such an interesting dynamic of that Wilbur has such little experience with space whereas tommy is very space street savvy#and knows a lot og space stuff comparatively#esp cause he’s been roughing it on his own for like 5 years so he had to figure out a ton of shit in order to survive#whereas Wilbur always had Phil and techno so there was less pressure for him to catch up on certain stuff like social customs and currency#yadda yadda yadda#however Wilbur has way more earth experience than Tommy#Cause he actually got to grow up into an adumt and finish college and pay rent and live on his own#Guys Tommy was so young when he was taken I’m gonna cry#Wilbur was talking about how he’s 70% water and Tommy was internally like ‘I’M WHAT????’#water is toxic to most aliens#humans are death worlders cause I love those headcanons lol#So Tommy’s like IS RHIS WHY IVE BEEN SUFFERING TJIS WHOLE TIME. CAUSE I RUN OFF OF A TOXIC COMPOUND#(the answer is yes but there’s also more)#(get this man a multivitamin)#Oh yeah Tommy also doesn’t know his own age#He’s placed himself at somewhere around 18-20 which isn’t too far off to be fair to him#little man feels too old for his age :( he had to grow up so quick#reed’s rants#OK STOPPING NOW I GOTTA GO TO BED#AND THIS POST IS A BEHEAMOTH#I’ll edit it a bit in the morning cause i just read it back and girl what. You are saying nothing
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tomboy014 ¡ 2 months ago
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But if Batman won't adopt Danny... who will?
Starfire, and she is all over her new little brother!
Shortly after establishing the Teen Titans, Robin (Dick) introduces “Phantom” to the group, because seriously, he’s not introducing him as “Danny.”  Kinda defeats the purpose of a secret identity when you use your name in your superhero moniker.  And shows Phantom his room.
Robin’s actual goal is to get Phantom to join the Titans, but even taking short cuts through the Ghost Zone, Jump City is still a good ways away from Amity Park, and he has parents, so… It’s still a nice gesture and all, and Phantom will come visit, but no.
Still, he’s never met other teens who are heroes in their own right like he is, so he’s excited to meet Robin’s new team.  The other Titans think it’s a little weird for this not-member to have his own room in the Tower, but the place is huge, and Robin trusts him, so it’s fine.  It’s a bit awkward at first as they’re all still getting used to each other, but Phantom quickly makes friends with all of them.
But it’s his friendship with Starfire that grows first and fastest.  As soon as he finds out she’s an alien from another planet, he latches on and must know everything.  Starfire more than welcomes the attention. While she knows the Titans care for her, they’re not always… receptive to the traditions and customs of her culture. Phantom, on the other hand, is enraptured as she tells him about her culture, her holidays, the planets she’s been to, everything.
So she asks if he’d be interested in learning Tamaranean? Yes! 100%! Absolutely! Phantom picks up the language quickly and returns the favor by helping Starfire with her English. While the ability to absorb language through lips is handy, it’s by no means perfect, and Phantom helps her with things like contractions, slang, idioms, etc.
It also helps that after a couple sparring sessions with each other, Phantom and Starfire realize just how durable their partner is.  For Starfire, the people and things on Earth can be so delicate. And for Phantom, if he doesn’t watch himself and hurts a human too badly, it’s just more justification to call him an “evil ghost” that should be ripped apart molecule by molecule. Both are thrilled to finally be able to fight all out again without worrying about the consequences if they lose. And Starfire also uses it to teach Phantom some Tamaranean martial arts for aerial combat so maybe he’ll stop crashing into so many walls.
But what really changes the relationship is the Body Swap incident (not to be confused with the Freaky Friday incident). Similar to what happened with the Puppet King in Switched, Phantom and Starfire switch bodies while fighting an enemy.  Unlike what happened in Switched, Phantom and Starfire and two teen powerhouses with green energy powers triggered by emotions. And the emotional triggers they use are in the same ballpark. Starfire’s “unbridled joy of flight” to fly is very similar to how Phantom revels in the pure freedom of flight he feels. Both get angry when they use blasts. It’s very much a “if you believe in it, you can do it” kind of power set. Starfire can’t really figure out Phantom’s more ghostly abilities like invisibility or intangibility, but they very quickly adapt to each other’s shared powers on the fly during battle.  But there’s one power Starfire wants to use against the hordes of minions that Phantom won’t share the trigger for: the Ghostly Wail.  He tries to tell her it’s not a good move, that it’ll use up too much power, it should only be used as a last resort, it’ll cause too much collateral damage, etc., but Starfire wants to know, and eventually he tells her.
“T-terror… and desperation.”
Starfire rushes to give Phantom the biggest hug ever because those are such horrible feelings, and she doesn’t want to imagine what conditions must have led to him developing such a power because no one should have to feel such feelings. He is right; and that is not a power she needs to use to win this battle.  The minions are defeated, the villain is forced into a temporary retreat, and the Teen Titans return to the Tower to regroup and plan.
However, Starfire doesn’t know how to power through and hold onto Phantom’s ghostly form, and as soon as the adrenaline from the fight wears off, rings of white light spread out of her middle, and Phantom turns back into Danny in the middle of the living room.
But more importantly, everyone needs to get out of the way RIGHT NOW because while Phantom can ignore his biological needs for days, Danny can’t, and Starfire has never had to pee this badly ever in her whole life and everyone needs to MOVE, PLEASE! as she rushes into the nearest bathroom.
Phantom/Danny is now panicking, because even as an alien, he’s pretty sure she’s bound to notice that some bits of male anatomy that should be there are… missing.  He’s begging her, through the door in Tamaranean, not to tell anyone about his secret.  He’s not ready to come out yet, and he’s honestly pretty scared he’s about to lose her friendship, too.  Starfire doesn’t really care. So long as you’re a strong warrior, Tamaraneans don’t care what’s going on in someone’s pants, and she’s just relieved she didn’t have to figure out different plumbing while in his body.  Starfire opens the door.  While she knows that the people of Earth are not always as understanding, Danny need not fear her.  She will not tell anyone he's trans until he is ready to tell them himself and supports him and goes in for a hug.
Except you haven’t washed your hands; gross!  They both laugh it off, but when Starfire goes to wash her hands, the water freezes.  The cold energy in Danny’s core is building, and Starfire doesn’t know how to let it out.  They need to switch back to their own bodies soon, or Danny’s body, and Starfire, might not survive.  A little more training so Starfire can turn back into Phantom, and the Titans are ready for the final act, take down the final villain and Starfire and Phantom are back in their own bodies. 
But after that, Phantom is no longer Starfire’s friend.  Danny is her little brother, and she tells him her name is Koriand’r, or Kor’i for short.
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d3stinyist1red ¡ 28 days ago
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ʏᴀɴ ʟᴏsᴇʀ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
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yan loser who is genuinely the most disgusting, rattiest, emoest mf you've ever seen.
You guys met during English, having a project assigned to the both of you to work together. The whole assignment you just ignored him, not bothering to deal with his creepiness.
He was known around the school as the schools creep, always looking at girls, getting into fights and always losing, just a really pathetic dude to keep it short.
yan loser who during English class, got paired up with you once more as you quietly groaned and your friends wished you luck
"h-hi." He said shyly, fiddling with his long black sleeved shirt that he's been wearing for probably two weeks now
You raised your eyebrow, "Uh yeah hi." You said monotonously, not wanting to even look at the weird guy next to you.
yan loser who actually managed to strike up a conversation with you after so many failed attempts, feeling a recognizable friend rise to life from hearing you talk to him for so long.
"yeah I personally think that Sasuke is the baddest character out of everyone in naruto-"
"s-sorry y/n, imma go to the bathroom o-okay?" He mumbled under his breath before getting up abruptly asking for permission to go use the bathroom and leaving.
You didn't pay it much attention due to you barely caring about him, he was just someone you could use to pass the time with in this boring English class
yan loser whose never cummed so damn much in his life in that damn bathroom stall, cumming buckets as he pants, his tongue lolling out as he giggles at the memory of you, feeling another boner coming
yan loser who comes back a few minutes later, shirt completely ruined and pants low on his hips, as your classmates hurled at the sight of him
yan loser who out of your own will, begins hanging out with you more, trying to show you his collection of Pokemon cards
yan loser who uses reddit 24/7, acting as if it's their therapist, ranting and writing full on essays about you, as he slowly slicks his hand up and down, whimpering at the sensation, thinking about the many positions he could put you in
yan loser who touched your thigh on accident once, and hasn't been the same ever since, now all he's looking at is those soft warm thighs of yours, wondering how it would feel wrapped around his head
yan loser who all he wants to do is ram his hips against yours, to fully ravage and cream inside your womb, he wants to pull out and see the sticky substance slowly drip out as well, fuck he could already feel himself getting hot at the thought..
yan loser who unironically uses brainrot alot, using it to try to make you laugh, always feeling his ego growing each time you let out a giggle
yan loser whose always playing video games, more preferably hentai games where he could customize his love interest, designing it so it could look exactly like you.
yan loser who secretly owns a private insta that is basically a fanpage of yours, that account only follows his main account and your account.
yan loser who is a complete loser who hasn't felt a woman's touch on him for years and is now waiting to breed you (or u could breed him, he doesn't mind :3 )
yan loser who is ur loser that is just a nice guy! So why don't you like him! :(
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bet-on-me-13 ¡ 4 months ago
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Fenton, the Ghost Hunter Hero
So! When Danny first saw a Ghost attacking his school, he was still terrified of his parents finding out about his Powers.
He looked exactly the same in his Ghost Form, sounded the same, he even had the Hazmat Suit his parents had custom made for him on as a Ghost. There was no way anybody wouldn't immediately find him out if he tried to stop Lunch Lady with his Powers, it was so obvious!
But he couldn't just leave her there. She had crossed through the Portal that he opened, and was attacking his friends. He needed to stop her somehow!
So he tried, he just didn't use his Powers. He stole a bunch of his parents Inventions, fixed the broken ones so they actually worked, and ran in to stop Lunch Lady as a Human. The battle lasted far longer than he would have liked, but eventually he managed to stop her and shove her into the Thermos.
And from there on out, he just kept doing it. Danny became the Town's defacto Hero, since his parents were too Incompetent and he had the ability to actually beat the Ghosts, he had to protect the people he had endangered.
Soon enough people began to notice his Heroics. Mr Lancer didn't stop him when he ran out of the classroom, Dash stopped shoving him in Lockers, and his parents were Ecstatic when they found out he had gone into the "Family Business".
He still kept his Ghost Form hidden from his parents and the Public though. It was still too dangerous.
He only ever used his Ghost Form while in the Ghost Zone so he could blend in, and avoid being attacked by the multiple Ghosts who he had forced back in there. Danny Fenton was a Ghost Hunter, Phantom was just another Ghost wandering the Ghost Zone.
(Though he did gain some infamy by defeating some powerful ghosts, like Aragon or Plasmius)
Years down the line, Fenton remained the respected Ghost Hunting Hero of Amity Park, his greatest accomplishment being the defeat of Pariah Dark, the Ghost King.
That battle had actually drawn outside attention to the town for a change, and it wasn't long before Danny was offered a spot on the Justice League's Junior Team. It wasn't every day when the evil Ruler of another Dimension was defeated by a non-powered Human, so it actually sparked some interest in the Town.
Unfortunately, Danny couldn't accept the Invitation.
If he joined the Justice League, it ws only a matter of time before one of their multitude of Magic Users realized the truth and outed him as a Ghost. He couldn't take that chance.
He was content staying as a small town Hero dealing with a "minor" Ghost Problem, no need to overcomplicate matters.
That is, until the JL contacted him again a few months later. Apparently, their Time Travelers had warned of an Evil Ghost known as Phantom, who would one day grow so powerful he would destroy the world and leave it in ruins. They needed his help as an expert Ghost Hunter to track down Phantom, for the safety of the world.
Problem. This version of Danny had never actually met Dan, since his history went so differently. Now he is terrified of what event could have led to him becoming the Worst Supervillain in History.
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mostlysignssomeportents ¡ 1 year ago
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Google’s enshittification memos
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[Note, 9 October 2023: Google disputes the veracity of this claim, but has declined to provide the exhibits and testimony to support its claims. Read more about this here.]
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When I think about how the old, good internet turned into the enshitternet, I imagine a series of small compromises, each seemingly reasonable at the time, each contributing to a cultural norm of making good things worse, and worse, and worse.
Think about Unity President Marc Whitten's nonpology for his company's disastrous rug-pull, in which they declared that everyone who had paid good money to use their tool to make a game would have to keep paying, every time someone downloaded that game:
The most fundamental thing that we’re trying to do is we’re building a sustainable business for Unity. And for us, that means that we do need to have a model that includes some sort of balancing change, including shared success.
https://www.wired.com/story/unity-walks-back-policies-lost-trust/
"Shared success" is code for, "If you use our tool to make money, we should make money too." This is bullshit. It's like saying, "We just want to find a way to share the success of the painters who use our brushes, so every time you sell a painting, we want to tax that sale." Or "Every time you sell a house, the company that made the hammer gets to wet its beak."
And note that they're not talking about shared risk here – no one at Unity is saying, "If you try to make a game with our tools and you lose a million bucks, we're on the hook for ten percent of your losses." This isn't partnership, it's extortion.
How did a company like Unity – which became a market leader by making a tool that understood the needs of game developers and filled them – turn into a protection racket? One bad decision at a time. One rationalization and then another. Slowly, and then all at once.
When I think about this enshittification curve, I often think of Google, a company that had its users' backs for years, which created a genuinely innovative search engine that worked so well it seemed like *magic, a company whose employees often had their pick of jobs, but chose the "don't be evil" gig because that mattered to them.
People make fun of that "don't be evil" motto, but if your key employees took the gig because they didn't want to be evil, and then you ask them to be evil, they might just quit. Hell, they might make a stink on the way out the door, too:
https://theintercept.com/2018/09/13/google-china-search-engine-employee-resigns/
Google is a company whose founders started out by publishing a scientific paper describing their search methodology, in which they said, "Oh, and by the way, ads will inevitably turn your search engine into a pile of shit, so we're gonna stay the fuck away from them":
http://infolab.stanford.edu/pub/papers/google.pdf
Those same founders retained a controlling interest in the company after it went IPO, explaining to investors that they were going to run the business without having their elbows jostled by shortsighted Wall Street assholes, so they could keep it from turning into a pile of shit:
https://abc.xyz/investor/founders-letters/ipo-letter/
And yet, it's turned into a pile of shit. Google search is so bad you might as well ask Jeeves. The company's big plan to fix it? Replace links to webpages with florid paragraphs of chatbot nonsense filled with a supremely confident lies:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/14/googles-ai-hype-circle/
How did the company get this bad? In part, this is the "curse of bigness." The company can't grow by attracting new users. When you have 90%+ of the market, there are no new customers to sign up. Hypothetically, they could grow by going into new lines of business, but Google is incapable of making a successful product in-house and also kills most of the products it buys from other, more innovative companies:
https://killedbygoogle.com/
Theoretically, the company could pursue new lines of business in-house, and indeed, the current leaders of companies like Amazon, Microsoft and Apple are all execs who figured out how to get the whole company to do something new, and were elevated to the CEO's office, making each one a billionaire and sealing their place in history.
It is for this very reason that any exec at a large firm who tries to make a business-wide improvement gets immediately and repeatedly knifed by all their colleagues, who correctly reason that if someone else becomes CEO, then they won't become CEO. Machiavelli was an optimist:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/microincentives-and-enshittification/
With no growth from new customers, and no growth from new businesses, "growth" has to come from squeezing workers (say, laying off 12,000 engineers after a stock buyback that would have paid their salaries for the next 27 years), or business customers (say, by colluding with Facebook to rig the ad market with the Jedi Blue conspiracy), or end-users.
Now, in theory, we might never know exactly what led to the enshittification of Google. In theory, all of compromises, debates and plots could be lost to history. But tech is not an oral culture, it's a written one, and techies write everything down and nothing is ever truly deleted.
Time and again, Big Tech tells on itself. Think of FTX's main conspirators all hanging out in a group chat called "Wirefraud." Amazon naming its program targeting weak, small publishers the "Gazelle Project" ("approach these small publishers the way a cheetah would pursue a sickly gazelle”). Amazon documenting the fact that users were unknowingly signing up for Prime and getting pissed; then figuring out how to reduce accidental signups, then deciding not to do it because it liked the money too much. Think of Zuck emailing his CFO in the middle of the night to defend his outsized offer to buy Instagram on the basis that users like Insta better and Facebook couldn't compete with them on quality.
It's like every Big Tech schemer has a folder on their desktop called "Mens Rea" filled with files like "Copy_of_Premeditated_Murder.docx":
https://doctorow.medium.com/big-tech-cant-stop-telling-on-itself-f7f0eb6d215a?sk=351f8a54ab8e02d7340620e5eec5024d
Right now, Google's on trial for its sins against antitrust law. It's a hard case to make. To secure a win, the prosecutors at the DoJ Antitrust Division are going to have to prove what was going on in Google execs' minds when the took the actions that led to the company's dominance. They're going to have to show that the company deliberately undertook to harm its users and customers.
Of course, it helps that Google put it all in writing.
Last week, there was a huge kerfuffile over the DoJ's practice of posting its exhibits from the trial to a website each night. This is a totally normal thing to do – a practice that dates back to the Microsoft antitrust trial. But Google pitched a tantrum over this and said that the docs the DoJ were posting would be turned into "clickbait." Which is another way of saying, "the public would find these documents very interesting, and they would be damning to us and our case":
https://www.bigtechontrial.com/p/secrecy-is-systemic
After initially deferring to Google, Judge Amit Mehta finally gave the Justice Department the greenlight to post the document. It's up. It's wild:
https://www.justice.gov/d9/2023-09/416692.pdf
The document is described as "notes for a course on communication" that Google VP for Finance Michael Roszak prepared. Roszak says he can't remember whether he ever gave the presentation, but insists that the remit for the course required him to tell students "things I didn't believe," and that's why the document is "full of hyperbole and exaggeration."
OK.
But here's what the document says: "search advertising is one of the world's greatest business models ever created…illicit businesses (cigarettes or drugs) could rival these economics…[W]e can mostly ignore the demand side…(users and queries) and only focus on the supply side of advertisers, ad formats and sales."
It goes on to say that this might be changing, and proposes a way to balance the interests of the search and ads teams, which are at odds, with search worrying that ads are pushing them to produce "unnatural search experiences to chase revenue."
"Unnatural search experiences to chase revenue" is a thinly veiled euphemism for the prophetic warnings in that 1998 Pagerank paper: "The goals of the advertising business model do not always correspond to providing quality search to users." Or, more plainly, "ads will turn our search engine into a pile of shit."
And, as Roszak writes, Google is "able to ignore one of the fundamental laws of economics…supply and demand." That is, the company has become so dominant and cemented its position so thoroughly as the default search engine across every platforms and system that even if it makes its search terrible to goose revenues, users won't leave. As Lily Tomlin put it on SNL: "We don't have to care, we're the phone company."
In the enshittification cycle, companies first lure in users with surpluses – like providing the best search results rather than the most profitable ones – with an eye to locking them in. In Google's case, that lock-in has multiple facets, but the big one is spending billions of dollars – enough to buy a whole Twitter, every single year – to be the default search everywhere.
Google doesn't buy its way to dominance because it has the very best search results and it wants to shield you from inferior competitors. The economically rational case for buying default position is that preventing competition is more profitable than succeeding by outperforming competitors. The best reason to buy the default everywhere is that it lets you lower quality without losing business. You can "ignore the demand side, and only focus on advertisers."
For a lot of people, the analysis stops here. "If you're not paying for the product, you're the product." Google locks in users and sells them to advertisers, who are their co-conspirators in a scheme to screw the rest of us.
But that's not right. For one thing, paying for a product doesn't mean you won't be the product. Apple charges a thousand bucks for an iPhone and then nonconsensually spies on every iOS user in order to target ads to them (and lies about it):
https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar
John Deere charges six figures for its tractors, then runs a grift that blocks farmers from fixing their own machines, and then uses their control over repair to silence farmers who complain about it:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/31/dealers-choice/#be-a-shame-if-something-were-to-happen-to-it
Fair treatment from a corporation isn't a loyalty program that you earn by through sufficient spending. Companies that can sell you out, will sell you out, and then cry victim, insisting that they were only doing their fiduciary duty for their sacred shareholders. Companies are disciplined by fear of competition, regulation or – in the case of tech platforms – customers seizing the means of computation and installing ad-blockers, alternative clients, multiprotocol readers, etc:
https://doctorow.medium.com/an-audacious-plan-to-halt-the-internets-enshittification-and-throw-it-into-reverse-3cc01e7e4604?sk=85b3f5f7d051804521c3411711f0b554
Which is where the next stage of enshittification comes in: when the platform withdraws the surplus it had allocated to lure in – and then lock in – business customers (like advertisers) and reallocate it to the platform's shareholders.
For Google, there are several rackets that let it screw over advertisers as well as searchers (the advertisers are paying for the product, and they're also the product). Some of those rackets are well-known, like Jedi Blue, the market-rigging conspiracy that Google and Facebook colluded on:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedi_Blue
But thanks to the antitrust trial, we're learning about more of these. Megan Gray – ex-FTC, ex-DuckDuckGo – was in the courtroom last week when evidence was presented on Google execs' panic over a decline in "ad generating searches" and the sleazy gimmick they came up with to address it: manipulating the "semantic matching" on user queries:
https://www.wired.com/story/google-antitrust-lawsuit-search-results/
When you send a query to Google, it expands that query with terms that are similar – for example, if you search on "Weds" it might also search for "Wednesday." In the slides shown in the Google trial, we learned about another kind of semantic matching that Google performed, this one intended to turn your search results into "a twisted shopping mall you can’t escape."
Here's how that worked: when you ran a query like "children's clothing," Google secretly appended the brand name of a kids' clothing manufacturer to the query. This, in turn, triggered a ton of ads – because rival brands will have bought ads against their competitors' name (like Pepsi buying ads that are shown over queries for Coke).
Here we see surpluses being taken away from both end-users and business customers – that is, searchers and advertisers. For searchers, it doesn't matter how much you refine your query, you're still going to get crummy search results because there's an unkillable, hidden search term stuck to your query, like a piece of shit that Google keeps sticking to the sole of your shoe.
But for advertisers, this is also a scam. They're paying to be matched to users who search on a brand name, and you didn't search on that brand name. It's especially bad for the company whose name has been appended to your search, because Google has a protection racket where the company that matches your search has to pay extra in order to show up overtop of rivals who are worse matches. Both the matching company and those rivals have given Google a credit-card that Google gets to bill every time a user searches on the company's name, and Google is just running fraudulent charges through those cards.
And, of course, Google put this in writing. I mean, of course they did. As we learned from the documentary The Incredibles, supervillains can't stop themselves from monologuing, and in big, sprawling monopolists, these monologues have to transmitted electronically – and often indelibly – to far-flung co-cabalists.
As Gray points out, this is an incredibly blunt enshittification technique: "it hadn’t even occurred to me that Google just flat out deletes queries and replaces them with ones that monetize better." We don't know how long Google did this for or how frequently this bait-and-switch was deployed.
But if this is a blunt way of Google smashing its fist down on the scales that balance search quality against ad revenues, there's plenty of subtler ways the company could sneak a thumb on there. A Google exec at the trial rhapsodized about his company's "contract with the user" to deliver an "honest results policy," but given how bad Google search is these days, we're left to either believe he's lying or that Google sucks at search.
The paper trail offers a tantalizing look at how a company went from doing something that was so good it felt like a magic trick to being "able to ignore one of the fundamental laws of economics…supply and demand," able to "ignore the demand side…(users and queries) and only focus on the supply side of advertisers."
What's more, this is a system where everyone loses (except for Google): this isn't a grift run by Google and advertisers on users – it's a grift Google runs on everyone.
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/03/not-feeling-lucky/#fundamental-laws-of-economics
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My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!
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ariestrxsh ¡ 3 months ago
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🍕 content warning: smut, oral (m! & f!receiving), praise, edging, masturbation, fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, small age gap (both characters are adults), pizzaboy!chris, servicesub!chris, dom!reader, low-key the reader exchanges money for sex
🍕 summary: your delivery boy, chris, is used to getting away with everything due to his dashing good looks, but it does him no good when he tries to resist your magnetic charm. when he arrives with your meat lovers earlier than expected, you're hungry for more than just the pizza.
(if it's cheesy, it's because i wanted it to be. 🧀 may this fic make you cum whilst you laugh at my stupid wordplay.)
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pizza guy
It was a cool, late-autumn evening, the wind rustling through the falling dead leaves and the temperature slowly dropping with every day that winter neared. You were at home, lounging in a silk pajama set on your couch, curled up with a book and a glass of wine while you were waiting for the pizza you'd ordered to arrive.
Suddenly, a knock at the door broke your attention away from the page and brought you back to the present moment. You glanced over at the clock. Surely, that couldn't have been the pizza. You weren't expecting it for another half-hour.
You pulled open the door to reveal a cute blue-eyed brunette in his work uniform who greeted you with a sweet smile. He was a few inches taller than you but looked to be a few years younger than you, and he had this innocent demeanor about him that immediately sparked your interest.
You wet your lips as your gaze scanned the delivery boy's features. You were drawn to his captivating eyes, his pink cheeks, and his pouty lips. "Hello, ma'am. I have your meat lovers pizza with extra Italian sausage," he said, double-checking the box he held in his hands.
"You're gonna hate me. I left my wallet upstairs," you stuck your bottom lip out at him in a little frown. "Oh, that's fine, ma'am. I can wait here," he kindly responded, the corners of his mouth turning up again. "Aren't you gonna get cold out here?" You asked, giving him a sympathetic look. "I'll be alright," he shrugged, his eyes dancing over your attractive features.
"I can't make you wait out in this weather, sweet boy. Why don't you come inside?" You replied in a nurturing tone as you crossed your arms, pushing up your breasts and revealing your hardening nipples that were straining against the soft fabric of your silk button-down.
"I don't think I should," he softly answered even though he was contemplating it, his eyes drawn towards your chest. "I'm not even standing out there, and I'm freezing. What if you catch a cold because of me? I couldn't live with myself," you said in an endearing voice as you ran your fingertips along your arm, trying to warm up.
He knew it was against store policy to enter a customer's home, but he figured he could bend the rules just this once. After all, the only thing providing his hands warmth was the pizza box he was holding, and the tip of his nose was growing red from the biting chill. He nibbled on his lip and nodded, accepting your generous offer and hesitantly stepping into your home.
"Make yourself comfortable," you told him, letting him in. You turned around to retrieve your wallet from upstairs, and Chris' stare migrated to the way your ass jiggled in your silk bottoms as you hurried up the steps. He couldn't help himself. You were just so hot. He glanced at the fancy bottle of red wine you had sitting on your coffee table along with the romance novel that laid beside it.
He wondered what a gorgeous woman like you was doing on a Saturday night, drinking alone and reading a book about love instead of making it.
You trotted back down the steps with your wallet in hand, sights fixed on the boy standing in your cozy living room who immediately noticed you'd undone the top two buttons of your shirt while you were upstairs. He knew exactly what you were doing, but he couldn't entertain it. It was a weekend, and he knew there would be plenty of pizzas to deliver and a lot of money to make.
"What's your name, baby?" You wondered as you reached into your wallet to count your bills. "Chris," he replied, loving the pet names you called him. "Alright, Chris. How much do I owe you, sweetie?" You asked, peering into his gorgeous blue eyes. "Um, $19.69," he blushed, clearing his throat and looking down at the price on your receipt he had pinned between his thumb and the box.
You smirked at him, pulling two $20 bills out of your wallet. "Here's for being so patient with me," you leaned in and whispered into his ear as you hooked two of your fingers into Chris' front pocket and slowly slid the cash in. While your were leaned in so closely, you could feel the heat radiating from his body and you picked up on the scent of pepperoni and hint of weed that lingered on his clothing.
"Thank you, ma'am. That's so generous. I don't know if I can accept that much," he replied, feeling all the blood rush to the tip of his cock as you flirted with the idea of breaking the touch barrier but not doing so just yet. "Sure, you can. You deserve it." You took the pizza box from him and placed it gently on your coffee table.
"You should stay a little longer. I'll make you a cup of hot chocolate, and you can warm up a little before you have to go back out into the cold," you offered, licking your lips while you examined his softening expression. "I should really get back to the shop," Chris said, breaking eye contact and trying to exercise self-control.
"Oh, come on. Stay for one cup of hot cocoa, sweet boy. You can just tell your boss you had trouble finding my house. Do you like it made with milk or water?" You asked, not giving him another chance to decline your proposition.
His gaze flickered back up at yours. He had your money. He could have easily excused himself and gone back to work, but he was secretly hoping for an excuse to stall and spend a little more time with you.
"Milk," he softly responded, completely in a trance with your caring nature. "You want whipped cream on top, baby? And marshmallows?" You cooed. "Yes, ma'am. Both please," he nodded, accepting your kind gesture. "Have a seat, Chris. Have a piece of pizza," you motioned towards the couch as you stepped into the kitchen to warm up some milk.
"How long have you been a delivery boy?" You asked, lighting the front left burner of your stove. "About a year," Chris replied, plopping down onto the sofa and reaching into the box to grab a slice. "Yeah? You make good money?" You inquired, fillling up a pot with milk. "Yeah, about $150 a night," he told you with his mouth full of pizza.
"Wow. That's a lot of money for this area. It must be because you're so timely and polite. And so handsome," you casually added, peeking up at him. He blushed and gave you a shy smile. "Oh, I don't know about that," he humbly replied. "Sure you are. You're cute, and you know it, too," you smirked at him. He took another big bite of pizza.
"So, do you always come quick?" You asked him. "Excuse me?" he politely answered you, nearly choking on his food and raising his eyebrows, unsure if he heard the question correctly. "I mean, when you're delivering pizza. Do you always arrive so quickly? I wasn't expecting you for another thirty minutes," you said, your eyes shifting between the boy on your couch and the clock on the wall. "I drive fast," he smiled.
"You really care about pleasing the customer, don't you?" You insinuated, bringing over the cup of hot chocolate. Your fingertips gently grazed his as you passed him the warm, ceramic mug. "Yes ma'am. I do. I live for it," he said in a submissive tone, glancing up at you.
"You ever get pulled over because you were driving too fast?" You wondered, raising an eyebrow at him and taking a seat on the couch beside him. "A handful of times, but it's always by the same officer in the same area I drive through. She always gives me shit, runs my license, registration, and insurance, and the whole bit, but she always lets me off with a warning," Chris replied before taking a sip of his hot chocolate.
"Mmmm, this is good," Chris said, licking the whipped topping off his lip. "Oh, baby. You missed a spot," you chuckled, moving a bit closer and gently running the pad of your thumb against the smudge and cleaning it off his upper lip while you stared deep into his eyes. You slowly licked the sugary cream from your thumb and grinned at him. He secretly liked the way you babied him and how in touch you were with your maternal instincts.
He took a few more sips of his chocolatey drink, savoring the warmth and sweetness it provided. "How much longer is your shift?" You wondered, studying his jawline and his full lips. "I close tonight, so at least another six hours," he gave a disappointed half-smile. "Awh. I can't believe they're making you work late on a Saturday night," you gave him a little frown. "It's alright. It's good money," he replied, drinking more of his hot cocoa.
"You know, I really appreciate the tip, the slice of pizza, and the hot chocolate, but I really should get going," Chris replied, setting the nearly empty mug on the coffee table. "Oh, sweet boy. Look at your pants. They're a mess," you chuckled, brushing crumbs off of his lap and gently grazing his cock that twitched in response to your light touch.
"Ma'am, you're making this very hard for me right now," Chris said in a serious tone, grabbing your wrist and looking into your eyes. "What am I making hard for you, baby?" You cooed. "I know what you're doing," Chris looked at you with his submissive eyes.
"Then why don't you let me keep doing it? I'll take good care of you, darling," you placed a hand on his cheek, cradling his face and searching for the answers in his expression to get him to stay. "It wouldn't be right.." he started to say, but his voice trailed off and he loosened his grip on your wrist as you leaned in, closing the distance between his lips and yours. You pulled him into a trance with your deep, passionate kiss, swirling your tongue around in his mouth.
"Says who? Isn't the customer always right? Don't you wanna leave me satisfied, baby?" You asked him, nudging his chin up with your nose, exposing his throat, and planting a soft kiss on the side of his neck. Chris was such a sucker for neck kisses and pleasing the customer. He couldn't stop you now. He wanted you too badly and so desperately craved to satisfy you.
"What would I even say?" Chris wondered out loud, racking his brain for an excuse to get out of the rest of his shift but getting distracted by your luscious lips. "I'm sure you'll think of something," you mumbled, pressing your tongue against a sensitive spot on his neck and giving him another passionate kiss.
"I can't think about anything except how amazing your mouth feels," Chris whimpered, giving into the sensation. "Give me your cellphone," you said, pulling away and holding out your hand. "What for?" He asked you, hesitantly reaching into his pocket and placing it in your palm. You handed Chris back his phone after dialing the number to his work and tapping the speaker button.
"Just tell your boss you got a flat tire or something, and that you can't come back to work for the rest of the night. I'll make it worth your while," you seductively suggested, whispering as you gently nibbled on his ear. He let out a soft moan as your teeth grazed his earlobe. "Hey, Chris. What's up? You've been gone a while. You find the delivery address?" A man answered the phone, recognizing Chris' caller ID.
"I got kind of lost on the way there, but I eventually found it. Um, I actually called because someone slashed my tires when I stopped to take a leak. Could you put a manager on so I can explain the situation?" He asked, trying to keep his composure as your lips traveled back to his neck, sinking your teeth into his sensitive flesh. He bit down on his lip to suppress another moan.
"Of course. Give me a sec. I'm gonna put you on hold," the guy on the other end of the line replied. You grabbed the hem of Chris' work shirt, pulling it up and off over his head, disheveling his hair while you did so. "I can't believe you have me doing this right now," he whispered as you fell to your knees in front of him. You smirked up at him, your hands reaching for his belt.
"What are you doing?" He whispered, looking down at his lap wide-eyed, the sound of the metal clanking against itself as you unbuckled it. "You just get so many nice tips, I thought maybe you could spare one," you chuckled. "While I'm on the phone with my boss?" He peered down at you in disbelief. "Let's see how well you can hold it together," you smirked.
"Oh my god. I don't usually mix business and pleasure in this manner, ma'am," he innocently whispered as you reached into his underwear. "You can save the I don't usually do this talk for someone else, because guess what? You're already doing it," you giggled. He sharply inhaled as you pulled out his half-erect cock.
"Wow, it's so big, and it's not even all the way hard yet," you gasped, taking it into your hand and slowly beginning to stroke his shaft.
It was long and veiny, and the head was pink, smooth, and already beginning to swell with arousal. He was so flattered by the way you lovingly looked at it, gently petting it and causing more blood to flow to it. He peered down at you with hungry eyes and a lustful expression.
"Chris? Someone slashed your tires?" A woman spoke into the phone as you slowly licked from the base of his length, stopping right where the heads meets his staff. Chris' jaw dropped and his breath hitched in his throat as he watched the way you teased him. His cock, that had now grown to its full size, twitched at the sensation of your heavenly tongue, and a bit of pre-cum gushed from his slit.
"Chris?" The woman said again, sounding agitated. "Yes ma'am," Chris said in a strangled voice as you began spiraling slow licks around the tip, cleaning up the clear fluid. "Chris, are you stoned right now? You know, we've talked about this. If it were anyone else, I would've fired them on the spot after the first time. You're just such a hard worker and get such good reviews-" his boss started to scold him.
"No, no. Nothing like that, ma'am. I'm just shaken up. That's all," Chris cut her off, trying to keep his composure while he stared down at the way you flickered your tongue over his slit. Her tone immediately changed. "Awh, Chris. I'm so sorry I accused you of being high on the job. Do you need a ride home, sweetie?" She tenderly asked him.
"No, ma'am. I appreciate it. I already got one. I just wanted to call to let you know I can't get new tires until tomorrow, so I won't be able to finish my shift," Chris managed to get out before a small sigh escaped his lips and his head fell back as you worked your magical tongue on him. "Of course. Let me know if you need anything, Chris," his manager relayed in a tone you swore was almost seductive. "Anything at all," she emphasized, the desperation in her voice coming through.
He was so mesmerized by the way you sheathed his marble-smooth, pink head between your soft lips that he nearly forgot he was on the phone. "Chris?" His manager broke him out of his trance. "Yes. Thank you, ma'am. I appreciate that," Chris responded, staring down and nodding at you as you started to move your lips down his length, taking more of him into your mouth, massaging the backside of his dick with your tongue.
"Good night, Chris. Do whatever you need to do to relax," she said, definitely picturing him masturbating. "Good night, ma'am," Chris replied before concluding the call just in time for a guttural moan to pass through his lips and fill the room. You paused for a moment, taking Chris' dick out of your mouth with a faint pop, creating a wonderful suction for his nerve endings.
"Are you fucking her?" You narrowed your eyes at him and gave him a smirk. "My boss?" He asked with a surprised inflection, raising his eyebrows. You nodded at him. "No, ma'am. I swear I'm not," he quickly shook his head. "Well, she wants you to," you smiled. "Anything at all," you mockingly exaggerated her desperation. "I know. She's so obvious about it," Chris smirked down at you as you made his cock disappear behind your lips again.
He could finally enjoy the way you gently suckled on it, rolling your tongue around on his tip, and he didn't have to hold back his delighted noises anymore. Whimpers escaped his lips, one cascading after the other, filling the room with the sweet sound of his pleasure. He started to comb through your hair with his fingers as he sank further into the couch and further into his desire to fill your mouth with his seed.
"You work so hard, always taking care of everyone, but at the end of the day, who takes good care of you, hmm?" You cooed, stroking his length. He moaned loudly at your words. "Good boy. Enjoy it. You deserve it," you whispered before teasing the head with your tongue again.
"Ma'am, I don't know how much more I can take," he looked down at you lustfully, studying how you encircled the head with your licks. His dick involuntarily jerked again, a reflex to the way you intuitively knew what he liked. "I know you can take it, and you're going to," you whispered seductively. "Yes, ma'am," he whimpered as you took more of him into your mouth, sliding your lips all the way down until his tip hit the back of throat.
You loved how respectful he was even when he was on the brink of orgasm.
He clawed at the seat cushion underneath him, a desperate attempt to keep himself from finishing too soon. He thoughtfully watched your every move, thoroughly enjoying every subtlety of your technique that was becoming sloppier and messier. "Please, I need to cum," he whined, furrowing his brow, wetting his lips, and looking down at you with carnal desire in his eyes.
But you couldn't give into him just yet. You wanted to hear the desperation seeping into his tone of voice and see the neediness carved into his expression before you even thought about letting him finish.
"You don't understand how bad I need it," his luscious voice poured into the room. You carried on, ignoring his pleas to cum and fervently bobbing your head up and down on his cock some more. His moans became more strained as you continued to make him hold out, letting his head fall back and closing his eyes.
"Look at me, baby," you ordered him before you resumed manipulating all his tender nerve-endings. He loved the way you bossed him around, obediently following your directions. He did as he was told, peering back down at you and your tongue that was dancing around his tip, relentlessly teasing him.
"Please, ma'am. I've been such a good boy," he urgently begged, becoming teary-eyed. That's it, you thought to yourself. That was the kind of desperation you'd been patiently waiting for. You nodded at him, giving him silently permission as a tear rolled down his cheek. He let out a few loud, guttural moans, his voice cracking and his breath getting caught in his throat again.
You felt his dick pulse between your lips while you hummed against it, pressing the flat part of your tongue against his tip and causing his sweet and salty substance to spray off into different streams into your mouth, intensifying his orgasm. A few more primal sounds poured from his lips while you drained his throbbing member of his tasty seed.
"Thank you, ma'am. Thank you," he graciously praised you as you collected every last bit onto your tongue before swallowing it, making sure not to waste a single drop. He stared down at you breathlessly with his bedroom eyes, his flushed cheeks, and his slightly parted lips, his heart beating out of his chest.
"You're so good with your mouth, ma'am. How can I ever repay you?" Chris wondered, wiping away his tears of satisfaction and slipping his cock back into his pants. "Not necessary. It was my pleasure," you whispered, winking at him. "Ma'am. I insist. Please let me show you how good I can make you feel," he said in a soft, subservient voice, giving you puppy dog eyes.
You nibbled on your lip as you stood up in front of Chris. You reached down and picked up your glass of wine, taking a long sip before you started to unbutton your silk shirt. He watched as you slowly opened your blouse, exposing your breasts to him as you peered into his blue eyes.
"You'd do that for me, sweet boy?" You cooed, brushing your thumb against his cheek while you tilted your head down at him and held eye-contact. "I'd do anything to please you," he whispered, tipping his chin up at you. "Be a good boy and get on your knees for me," you said in a soft and sweet but domineering manner. He nodded before he dropped to his knees in front of you.
He curled his fingers into your waistband and slowly stripped your bottoms off of you. You stepped out of them, one leg at a time, Chris' eyes fixed on the treasure between your thighs. Chris bent your knee and slung your leg over his shoulder, so you could rest your foot on the edge of the couch while he nestled into your warmth. His tongue gently flickered over your clit, sending a lovely sensation through you.
Despite having just finished, the act of eating your pussy had him all worked up and needy again, his hand slithering below his waist as it found its way into his the waistband of his boxers. He wrapped his fingers around his shaft and started pumping back and forth. He clamped his lips down on your sensitive bud, moaning against it.
"Good boy," you whimpered, running your digits through his hair and brushing it out of his pretty face. He was so gentle and tender, taking his time with his licks, but they were perfectly sensual and effective nonetheless. You gasped as he suckled on your most delicate nerve-endings, and the sound of him hungrily lapping up your wetness filled the room.
You let go, allowing yourself to be swept up in the delightful feeling his tongue brought you as it expertly prodded around your glistening folds. "That's it, baby. You're doing such a good job," you commended him. You smiled down at him, whimpering and licking your lips.
"Ma'am, you taste so sweet," Chris softly replied right before taking his hand out of his pants and placing his middle finger at your entrance. "I'm gonna make you feel so good," he smirked up at you, sinking his digit into your hole.
He noted how tight you felt wrapped around just one finger. He couldn't keep himself from fantasizing about how your pussy would feel encasing his cock.
He went back to delicately licking your clit while he worked his curled finger into your heat, pulling it almost all the way out and pushing it back in again. You loved the way it felt, but it left your core aching for more.
"Chris.. I need something else from you, sweetie," you responded, looking down lovingly at the obvious bulge in his jeans. "What do you need from me?" He sweetly asked, resting his cheek on the inside of your thigh and peering up at you, eager to serve you in any way he could.
You loved his subordinate nature, his obedient tone, and his enthusiasm about doing anything for you that you wanted him to. "Let me ride you, sweet boy," you requested, playing with his hair. "Oh, yes, ma'am. I thought you'd never ask," he softly whined, hypnotizing you with his desperate eyes.
You unhooked your leg from the boy's shoulder, and when he stood up, you placed your pointer finger on his chest and lightly pushed him back. He bent to your will, allowing your gentle shove to subdue him onto your sofa. He sunk into the furniture and pulled his dick out of his waistband once more, presenting it to you in all its glory. It was still incredibly hard.
You straddled him, sticking your breasts in his face, and he eagerly took one of your nipples into his mouth. You grabbed onto his cock, holding it in place, so you could lower yourself onto it. You gasped as you enveloped the tip, and you let out a delighted sigh as you sat all the way down on it. Chris moaned against your breast, relishing in the sensation of having your heat wrapped around him.
He placed his hands on your waist so he could feel every intricacy in the way you rolled your hips forward, grinding on him as you rode him. You slid up and down on his rod with ease, becoming increasingly wet. "You're so big," you complimented him, feeling the way his dimensions filled you snugly, and he blushed at your praise.
You reached between your legs and started drawing tight circles on your sensitive bundle of nerves while you maintained your stamina. "Ma'am, this is the best tip I've ever received," Chris whimpered, breathlessly. "I'd have to say the same," you smirked down at him. A few subtle whimpers escaped the boy's lips as you sped up your pace.
Chris' eyes started to roll back, but you gently tugged onto his ear, and whispered, "Look at me while you cum, sweet boy." He weakly nodded at you, his expression drenched in sheer lust and his facial features making it apparent to you how good you were making him feel.
"I'm so lucky I got you as my pizza delivery boy," you moaned, looking into his eyes. "Respectfully, ma'am, I think I'm the lucky one," he whimpered, furrowing his brow and digging into your sides with his fingertips.
"You've been such a good boy. Why don't you cum for me, sweetie?" You cooed, recognizing how close he was and how badly he needed this. "Inside?" He politely clarified. "Yes, Chris. Fill me up," you responded, nodding at him. "Yes, ma'am," he replied, letting all his muscles relax as his orgasm washed over him like a rising tide.
His climax ebbed and flowed through him. His cock twitched inside of you, pumping you full of his seed until it started leaking down his length and making a mess on his jeans. He was incredibly sensitive, but he waited patiently until your orgasm followed shortly after.
"Oh, Chris," you called out in a sultry moan as you clenched around him, finishing onto his rod and adding to the mess of fluids that were leaking onto his lap. The pace of your fingers on your clit slowed down as well as the movement of your hips until you finally came to a halt. You smiled down at Chris, pulling him into one more intense kiss and overwhelming his tastebuds with notes of red wine.
You climbed off of him, and started to slip back into your clothes. He admired your body one last time as you covered back up, taking a few moments to recover from the powerful sensation. His chest rose and fell as his breathing began to regulate itself, and he tucked himself back into his jeans, pulling his zipper closed, buttoning them back up, and buckling his belt.
You reached into your wallet again, pulling out $150, the amount Chris told you he would've made had he worked the rest of his shift, and you tucked it into his pocket. "Ma'am. Do you think I'm some kind of hooker or something? I can't accept money for sex," he smiled at you, pulling his work shirt back on over his head.
"You were on the job. I'm only paying you for your valuable time. We just so happened to have sex," you shrugged, winking at him while you did up the buttons on your silky pajama top. He shook his head, ready to decline your money offer.
"Come on, if you had trouble making rent this month because I got greedy and wouldn't let you leave, I'd feel just awful," you seductively said, tilting his chin up with your finger. "Even if you just spend it on weed," you winked at him. He chuckled and rolled his eyes in response.
"I can't wait to leave you a good review. Let everyone in town know how filling the Italian sausage is."
🍕 click for part two
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