#Oh yeah Tommy also doesn’t know his own age

[absurdthirst]

Halloween Cowboy {Joel Miller x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 5.7k

Warnings: Idiots in love, crushing, putting your foot in your mouth, embarrassment, flirtation, Younger Joel, drinking, vaginal sex, unprotected sex

Comments: Tommy and his girlfriend, your best friend, manage to get you and your sexy neighbor Joel at the same Halloween party.

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

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|| MasterList || Joel Miller MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

“Cmon man. You gotta come. Lindsey wants to meet you and I can’t keep makin’ up excuses for my big brother not wanting to meet my girl.” Tommy whines while he stands over Joel who is trying to read the plans for the bathroom redo.

“Tommy. I’m tryin’ - Jesus. Is it really that damn important?” He asks his brother after taking his glasses off of his nose.

“Yeah. Sarah is going to sleep over at her friend Tori’s house, right? You’ll be sitting on your own with the curtains closed to ward off trick or treaters while watching Dawn of the Dead for the hundredth time…you ain’t busy.” Tommy calls Joel out who signs and sets his glasses down on the table.

“Fine. Fine. If it’s that damn important I’ll go but, shit. I don’t have a costume.” He confesses and Tommy smirks, “that’s easy. You’re already wearing it.” He eyes the construction belt and hard hat and Joel scoffs but takes a second, “I got a cowboy hat. And boots.” He decides and Tommy snorts, “rodeo Joel is making an appearance. Haven’t seen that since high school when you were trying to impress Katie.” Joel huffs, trying to not snap at his brother at mentioning his ex wife whose parents owned a ranch.

“Sorry.” Tommy murmurs and Joel shrugs, “I’ll be there.” He promises, picking up his glasses again and Tommy grins, not mentioning the best part until he’s about to walk away. “Oh and your pretty neighbor will be there. Lindsey invited her.”

****

“Why do I have to go again?” You whine to Lindsey even as you are mixing together the cream cheese with the salsa to make roll ups. It’s one of your best appetizers to throw together quickly and are always a hit. She snorts and rolls her eyes at you. “You need to get out and socialize. You need to have some fun since you broke up with dickhead.” She had never hidden the fact that she thought your ex wasn’t good enough for you. Only now would you admit that she’s right, but you still huff at her. “What am I supposed to do? Pick up someone from your party and take them home?”

“Or you could use my guest room?” She waggles her eyebrows, “and I do believe the man you’ll be riding in there will be called Joel.” She smirks and you nearly choke, “no. No. I don’t - he doesn’t -” Lindsey giggles, “Tommy said the man watches your every damn move from his porch. Watches your ass when you walk past. Trust me, honey. The man wants you. He’s just got issues from his ex leaving.” She explains, knowing Tommy has briefly told her about what happened with Katie. “You don’t need to be his therapist to get some.” She says and nudges you.

****

Joel huffs as he looks at himself in the mirror. The checkered shirt is buttoned up unlike its usual openness when he has a t-shirt underneath. The large belt buckle his dad got him as a present was dug out from the back of his underwear drawer, and the boots are comfortable, worn in thankfully from regular use. The hat is on the side and he grabs it, putting it on his head to see how it looks. He looks like teenage Joel and that scares him. How eager he was to impress a girl. Too eager in fact that she left the first moment she could, leaving him with a two month old when he was twenty years old. “Shit.” He sighs, rubbing his jaw, knowing he will see you. He knows he’s jaded, he’s a single dad with issues and he knows you’d never want him. He’s too complicated. With a huff, he grabs the lasso he got from Tommy as a joke a few years ago and leaves his house to go to the party.

“I think real cuffs would have been better.” You huff to yourself, hating how the ties on these Wonder Woman wrist cuffs keep coming loose. The party hasn’t even started yet and you want to just go home. Not that Lindsey would let you. “Tie this for me.” You demand, holding your wrist out. “If I’m going to be Wonder Woman, I need to be a put together, sexy version of her.”

Joel isn't early. He doesn't like to be early to parties since he can't disappear into a crowd and leave early. He sighs after he parks his truck down the street, his boots clicking as he walks up the driveway until he is opening the door. The party is already underway and he squeezes past people drinking and making out and talking to try and find Tommy.

“Coming through, coming through!” You yank the platter of appetizers higher, needing to get over to the table and refill them although people won’t seem to get out of your way. The party is bigger than what Lindsey had told you it would be and she’s already glued to Tommy’s side, leaving you to kind of run things. Someone comes up to your right, just out of your vision as  you veer off to avoid a couple who are groping each other. “Shit!” You hiss, bumping into someone and having to spin around to keep the tray from hitting the ground and ruining the snacks. 

“Woah. Shit.” Joel hisses and barely catches the tray as you spin around and grab the other side. His eyes widen when he sees you, dressed like Wonder Woman with eyes wide and beautiful. “Hey.” He murmurs, keeping his grip on the tray and you offer him a gorgeous smile, “hey neighbor.” Someone knocks into him and he steadies the tray. “Let me help. Tell me where you want this and I’ll make sure no one knocks this over.” He promises, keeping his grip tight.

“Hey.” You smile breathlessly, a little shocked and release the tray to him because of that. “Um, yeah, uh, right over there.” You point to the table in the corner and try to figure out if you need to hide in embarrassment or get the man a drink for helping you out. He looks fucking delicious and Lindsey’s comments about riding him are fucking perfect considering Joel Miller is out here dressed up like a fucking cowboy. Your panties are going to be ruined tonight, thinking about him. 

Joel wrestles with the crowd to set the tray down and he turns to see you’ve followed him. “Who the hell did Tommy and Lindsey invite? The whole damn town?” He almost has to shout to compete with the chatter and the music. “Seems like it. I only made enough food for a small gathering.” You confess and Joel turns to look at the tray, “you did all that?” He asks and you nod, biting your lip. “Goddamn. You’re like Martha Stewart. But hot.” He adds until he flusters and reaches up to adjust his hat. “Uh, I mean, you look good. As Wonder Woman. I had this massive crush on Linda Carter when I was a kid and uh, yeah. You look good.” He repeats, silently cursing himself for being so lame as Sarah would say.

You want to laugh at the way Joel looks ready to punch himself in the face for being stupid, but you like seeing him like this. “Thanks.” You reach out and touch his arm. “You look really hot too. You’re going to be beating them off with a stick dressed like this, Miller.” You predict, knowing you would be the first in line if you had half a chance at him. “We’ll be dreaming of cowboy lullabies tonight.” 

Joel blushes, grateful for the cowboy hat to hide it, and he gets a sudden boost of confidence. “Yeah? You think I’d have a chance with someone at the party? Even though I got more baggage than Bush Airport?” He jokes and you scoff, “everyone has baggage.” He nods, staring at you for a moment and he opens his mouth to ask if you want to find somewhere quieter to talk but a hand slaps his shoulder and he turns to see his brother. “You made it! And dressed up!” Tommy exclaims, clearly a little drunk and his arm wrapped around a beautiful woman. “This is Lindsey. Baby, this is the mysterious big brother I’ve been telling you about.” Lindsey grins and holds her hand out, “it’s great to finally meet you, Joel. Tommy can’t shut up about you.” She teases before she says your name, “and she’s always talking about her sexy neighbor. You’re the talk of the town.” Lindsey teases and Joel’s eyes widen slightly as he looks towards you.

“Lindsey.” You groan your friend’s name, face heating up and you want the earth to open and swallow you whole. “I think you might need to drink some water.” You huff, snatching her cup out of her hand and quickly drinking it down yourself. Hoping that Joel doesn’t think that you are some kind of creepy stalker or some shit. 

Lindsey’s words make his stomach twist and Tommy smirks at him, knowing about his crush on his neighbor, and he squeezes Lindsey’s hand until she lets go and turns to look at Tommy. “Come on baby. Let’s get you another drink. Enjoy the party. See you in a bit. Mingle.” Tommy urges his older brother who has the habit of hiding in the corner. “Sure.” Joel nods and watches Tommy take Lindsey to the kitchen. “I need a drink.” Joel mutters to himself before he looks at you, “you know where the booze is?”

“Yeah,” Despite being embarrassed, you won’t let him go without a drink. “It’s out here.” You point to the patio door. “We’ve got a small pony keg if you want beer and then there’s tequila.” You huff out a laugh. “That’s what I plan on drinking.” You joke as you open the door. “Listen- uh, about what she said? I just- I don’t want you to think that I’m watching you all the time or something.” 

Joel looks at you as he follows you to the drinks table. He was shocked to hear you watch him and you being flustered makes his heart thump. “I’m watching you.” He confesses, “not in a creepy way but - but yeah. I like watching you.” He rubs the back of his neck, suddenly burning up in the flannel shirt.

You freeze for a second as you reach for a cup, relieved and slightly surprised to find out that Tommy and Lindsey were right. Now that you both have admitted embarrassing things, you laugh and shake your head. “I think we are way too sober right now.” You tease and waggle a cup at him. “What’ll you have before we discuss further?”

“Anything with alcohol.” He teases and picks up his own cup, filling it with cheap whiskey and topping it off with some Coke. “Happy Halloween.” He grins and hits your cup with his. “Happy Halloween, neighbor.” You smirk and he takes a sip of his drink, sighing at the sting of the whiskey.

You ask where Sarah is and listen while Joel explains about the sleepover, but you are really admiring the way he fills out that flannel shirt. It’s cut perfectly and makes his broad frame look even broader. You know the man is strong because you’ve seen the tools and materials he has to carry. “So why a cowboy and not a sexy construction worker?” You ask, grinning as the burn of the alcohol starts to fade and the heat runs through your veins.

“That seemed too obvious. Isn’t halloween about pretending to be something you’re not? Tonight, I’m not a single father construction worker. Tonight, I’m a cowboy looking for a hero.” He smirks as he flexes his fingers around the red solo cup.

It takes you a second to realize he’s referring to your wonder woman costume and you grin. “Not all heroes wear capes, Miller.” You remind him playfully and toss back the rest of your drink so you can pour both of you another. “I think you also underestimate how sexy single father construction workers are.” You huff. “But I like the idea of taking a cowboy for a ride.” 

Joel can’t believe how smooth he is being when usually he’s fumbling over his words with you. Maybe the costume has helped him regain some confidence after years of focusing on Sarah and not his love life. “Save a horse, ride a construction worker.” He winks and you giggle, making his heart clench. His eyes drag down your body when you turn and bend over to grab another bottle of tequila from under the drinks table and his cock twitches in his jeans.

You open the new bottle and pour you both a large drink. You don’t want to hang out by the booze all night, although it’s been pretty quiet right now. Soon enough there will be people charging out here to refill their own cups. “So are you ready to let your hair down?” You ask. 

Joel snorts, “I don’t think I’ve ever done that. Well, not since Sarah was born.” He confesses, glancing around at the sofa and he jerks his chin, “you wanna sit down?” He asks, his back starting to ache from the long work day and he’s anxious to get closer to you.

“Sure.” You point to the back yard. “Want to sit out there, or go upstairs?” You ask. “We can’t sit down in the living room with all those bodies in there.” It’s a subtle way to get him upstairs if you think that this could actually go somewhere, which it is looking like it might. 

“Let’s go upstairs. I’m too fucking old for this music.” He confesses with a chuckle and you nod, taking his hand to escort him upstairs. You’ve been to Tommy’s house a few times with Lindsey to get ready for nights out. Joel hopes his hand isn’t sweaty in yours and he lets you guide him away from the crowd to the quiet guest room. The bass from the music thumps below his feet as he sits down on the edge of the bed.

“You know you are a good dad, right?” You ask, wondering if he knows just how sexy him being a very involved dad is to you. “You care about Sarah, you listen to her.” You smirk. “Even if you don’t always know what you are doing.” 

He snorts, looking down at the drink in his hand, “I definitely don’t always know what I’m doing. I could handle Barbie dolls and hair bobbles but periods? Boys? It’s a little out of my league.” He admits, turning to look at you as you sit down beside him. You’re so beautiful, so understanding. You deserve way better than someone like him yet here you are. “Thanks for saying that though. She likes you. Loves your style and watching those stupid MTV shows with you.”

“She’s a good kid. Because of you.” You smile softly. “And you didn’t even use her to get laid.” You tease. “Do you know that women love a good dad? Our panties drop quick for a man who loves his children.”

Joel raises his eyebrows, “really?” He asks and you nod, giggling in a way that makes his cock twitch, already half hard in his jeans. You smile and he can’t help but lean in closer to you. “You gonna drop your panties for me, sweetheart?” He asks, his voice dropping lower for you.

“Fuck, that sounded so hot.” You whimper, biting your lip as your eyes slide down to his. You want to kiss him, but you aren’t brave enough yet. “I can’t.” You admit. “I’m not wearing any tonight.” You take his cup and yours and set it down on the nightstand as you talk. 

“Shit.” Joel hisses, his eyes widening slightly and he can’t stop himself even if he tried. He surges forward to press his lips to yours. His hat pushed back on his head as he cups your cheek and he pulls back after a second when you don’t respond and he frowns, wondering if he misread this.

You are frozen. Shocked that Joel, your sexy neighbor, is kissing you. When he pulls back, you see him frown, reaching out and cupping his face so you can lean in to kiss him yourself.

He quickly recovers and melts into the kiss, his hand cupping your neck to pull you closer and he gains confidence, sliding his tongue along your lower lip, pushing into your mouth when you grant him access.

Your breath catches and you groan into his mouth. Still in disbelief that Joel is kissing you. Hes a good kisser. His tongue slides along your, tangles with it and encourages you to kiss him back. Your stomach twists in knots and you lean into the kiss more, malting into him.

He loves the way you kiss him back just as eagerly and he slides his hand along your thigh, groaning at the feel of your skin under his palm. You’re so soft and he loves it. He’s imagined it more times than he’d care to admit.

You hadn’t worn any tights with your outfit. Not wanting to feel trapped or have another layer to take off another layer when you’ve been drinking. His hands on your skin feels amazing and you shift, moving to straddle him and you giggle into his mouth.

He groans when you straddle him, his hands immediately finding your ass to squeeze the flesh. So many times he’s imagined your ass when you’ve been outside in your shorts or leggings and now he gets to touch you. “Fuck.” He pants into your mouth, his cock hardening underneath you.

“We will get to that.” You promise, pulling away to press your lips to his jaw. Always wanting to kiss his neck for forever. It’s so kissable. “Imagined it so many times.”

Joel groans, tilting his head, and he slides his hand up to squeeze your breast. “Me too. So many damn times. Imagined you under me, over me. Being inside you. Jerked off enough damn times.” He reveals as you grind down onto him.

You moan softly, imagining him with his cock in his hand, panting your name. “I want to see that sometime.” You admit breathlessly. “Watch you jerk off.”

"Fuck. One day." He promises, grabbing your ass to lift you so he can spin and lay you down on the bed. "Look goddamn sexy in your costume." He groans, caressing your calf. "Tell me what you want, baby." He demands, reaching for the zipper of your boot.

“Want to ride you.” You decide. “Keep your cowboy hat and boots on.” You smirk and wink. “Want to see if you live up to the expectations I’ve built up seeing you wear that costume.”

He smirks, “I hope I can. It’s been a while.” He confesses as he reaches up to start unbuttoning his shirt, exposing his chest to your hungry gaze.

You reach up and caress his chest. “That doesn’t matter.” You promise. “I just want to feel you inside me.” He peels your boots off and reaches for your bottom. “I’m going to strip you down.” He promises and you nod. “Do it.”

He peels the costume from your body, his cock aching in his jeans at each inch that’s exposed to his hungry gaze, and he has to reach down to undo the buckle, opening his pants to allow himself some relief from the hard press of the zipper. “Shit. You’re gorgeous.” He murmurs, caressing your stomach until he’s reaching for the hem of the top, dragging it from your body to expose your tits. “Goddamn beautiful.” He murmurs when he tosses the top aside and dives down to take your nipple into his mouth as he kneels on the bed.

Your cry is loud but you know that no one in the party can hear you. The music is still thumping and you can hear the chattering. Not that you care, all you care about is him. His mouth feels so good on your nipple it hurts, making you whine when he flicks his tongue over it after biting down. “Joel.” You pant, tangling your fingers into his hair.

He loves hearing your moan and he bites down on the bud, lapping at it with his tongue, before he switches to the other one. His thumb and forefinger pinching your hardened nipple that’s slick with his spit.

You’ve never had someone spend so much time on your tits. Not without being inside you. You enjoy the attention, every pull of his mouth and pinch of your nipple makes your cunt throb around nothing and you are positively dripping.

His free hand slides up your inner thigh, caressing the skin there and he slides his touch higher so he can slide his fingers through your folds. “Fuck. You’re so wet.” He murmurs against your breast.

“So turned on.” You confess. You moan his name again when he continues to slowly stroke through your folds, fingers brushing against your clit. “Fuck baby.”

He groans, “me too. So fucking hard right now.” He confesses as he presses his fingers against your clit, wanting to hear you moan for him again.

You groan, reaching down and cupping him through his jeans. “Fuck.” You gasp, knowing that he will stretch you out when you feel how thick he is. “So hard.”

“Shit.” He hisses when you squeeze him and he slides his hand lower so he can push two thick digits into your weeping cunt, wanting to hear you gasp again. “Take me out.” He pleads, kissing your jaw, “need to feel your hand around him.”

You fumble with his zipper blindly, eager to feel the heft in your hand, to feel how soft and hard he is. Joel pulls his hips back to give you more room and you both groan in unison when he comes free from his underwear and lands into your palm.

He groans when you finally grip him in your soft palm, loving the way you squeeze him, and he’s so hard. He’s aching for you and his fingers work in and out of you, desperate to hear you cry out his name.

Your eyes slide closed, twisting your wrist to pump his cock as much as you can while his fingers destroy you. They are just as thick and wonderful as you imagined. Rough, his hands are calloused and imperfect from the manual labor of his job, scrubbing perfectly inside your walls to make you choke out his name every time he curls them deep.

Your choked version of his name has him groaning yours as you try to pump his cock in your soft hand. He twists his wrist, pressing his thumb to your clit to hear the sweet cry of your orgasm. He desperately wants it. His lips find yours again and he slides his tongue into your mouth, wanting to devour you.

Your hips roll up, eager to have him push his fingers deep every time he pulls them back. You feel that lovely tension curling in your stomach and you want more, crave it. He is just as overwhelming as you had imagined. Completely taking control and showing a confidence that is undeniably sexy.

Your walls flutter and clamp down on his fingers, making him grin against your chin, and he desperately wants you to fall apart for him. “Cum for me, baby.” He murmurs, nipping your jaw as he curls his fingers and presses his thumb against your clit.

It takes a few more pumps of his fingers before you are flying. Your walls lock down around his fingers and soak him with a wave of hot liquid juice that just continues to come in wave after wave while he continues to curl his fingers deep. Crying out his name loudly, nearly a sob and you shake under him.

“Holy fuck.” He groans when you grip his fingers in your walls and he loves how hot and wet you get. He can’t wait to feel that around his cock. “That’s it, baby. Such a good girl for me.” He murmurs, kissing along your neck as he works you through it.

You whimper, knowing that he could call you a good girl for the rest of your life and it would still make your stomach curl in pleasure. Your legs feel like jello when he finally pulls his fingers free and kisses your lips. “Fuck, Miller.” You pant. “Get on your back.”

He grunts as he shifts to lay against the pillows, pupils blown wide as he watches you while you shift to your wobbly knees. "So fucking gorgeous." He murmurs, his gaze dropping to your tits and he can't help reaching down to squeeze his hard cock.

You bite your lip when your thighs are straddling him, immediately moving and grinding down on his cock as soon as he moves his hand. Grinning when he moans your name and swivel your hips again. “Put your hat back on, cowboy.” You tease, leaning down and kissing him passionately.

He fumbles blindly to grab his hat from the nightstand and he puts it on while his tongue tangles with yours while you grind down onto him. “Shit. Co-condom?” He rasps, knowing it’s been forever and a day since he’s had sex but he wants you to be comfortable.

“Fuck.” You don’t have one, but you think you will cry if you have to stop right now. “I don’t- I’m clean.” You mumble against his lips, pulling back to look into his eyes. “I’m on birth control.”

“I’m clean and I - I trust you.” He promises, knowing he shouldn’t take the chance after Katie left him high and dry but he’s aching and he knows you wouldn’t lie to him. “Take what you want, baby.” He demands, his hands finding your ass to squeeze before he playfully slaps your cheeks, “ride a cowboy.”

You moan, reaching down and wrapping your fingers around his cock as you lift up to move him into position. “Gonna ride you ‘til you pass out.” You tease, winking at him right before you start to impale yourself on his length with a loud moan.

When you start to sink down onto his cock, he hisses and his fingers dig into your ass, exhaling through his nose to control himself as he watches your facial expressions while he stretches you out. “Feel good?” He smirks, voice heavy with lust as he slides one hand up to squeeze your breast.

“Yes, fuck.” Your eyes close and you clench down around him. “You’re so much thicker than my ex.” You admit breathlessly, not even thinking that he might not want to be reminded that you had just broken up with someone.

He chuckles, pinching your nipple. "Good, gonna make sure you don't remember his fucking name after tonight." He promises and kisses along your jaw, "want you to scream my name only."

“What ex?” You joke, groaning when he nibbles on your ear. “Fuck, Joel.” You sit up, bracing your hands on his chest and look down on him. He looks sexy under you. “You have a great cock.” You praise, starting to bounce on it. “I’m going cum all over it.”

Your words make him twitch inside you and he slaps your tit, wanting you to squeal. You start to rock on top of him and the sight is gorgeous but he reaches for the hat on his head. He takes it off and places it on your head. “Sexy as fuck.” He murmurs, watching you as your tits move.

You giggle as you ride him, leaning over to press against his chest and bounce harder. He feels incredible inside you, his cock punching deep enough to feel like he’s in your throat and you start to rock harder on him. “Fuck, fuck Joel!”

“That’s it, baby. Shit. Take what you want. God, you look so gorgeous ridin’ my cock.” He coos as his dark eyes trail down to watch where his cock disappears inside of you.

He doesn’t have the exaggerated drawl of a cowboy, but that gravely, raspy pitch to his voice makes your cunt clench around him as he praises you. Loving how he seems to be obsessed with you moving on top of him. Those hands caress you from your tits to your thighs.

Your moans make him twitch inside you and he digs his heels into the mattress, unable to stop himself from thrusting up into you with a groan. “You gonna cum for me, baby?” He asks, his hands sliding up to pinch your nipples and twist them slightly.

“Yessssss.” You hiss, clenching down around him and circling your hips. “Your fucking cock is so deep inside me.” You moan. “You’re in my throat. How the fuck did no one want to ride this cock every night?”

Joel doesn’t mention his ex at this moment but he’s been hesitant to get involved with anyone since she left him with a baby and walked out the door. It’s been hard and he’s finally taking time for himself. He’s going to let you take what you want from him. “Wanna see you cum again.” He rasps, groaning when you clench around him, getting closer.

“I will.” You moan, bouncing on his cock faster and gasping out when he pushes against a perfect spot deep inside you. “God I want to cum all over you.”

"Do it." He pleads, his jaw clenched as he tries to focus on not cumming before you. It's been too long since all he had was his hand. He groans and slides his hand between you, finding your clit to rub, needing you to fall apart for him.

That little nudge of his fingers is all you need. Crying out his name so loud it’s almost a scream you shake apart on top of him, clenching down on his cock and creaming all over it as your hips stutter and you collapse against his chest to press your lips to his breathlessly.

He pulls his hand from between you, his arms wrapping around you and he is desperate to cum. He thrusts up into you, hissing at the way you clench around him. So tight he can barely thrust up into you, and he groans as he pushes deep and finally lets go. He paints your walls with his hot cum, a pant of your name escapes his lips as the breath is knocked from him.

You pant as he relaxes underneath you. Both of you are trying to catch your breath. “Wow.” His cowboy hat is pushed back, falling off your back and you start to giggle in pleasure. Amazed at how good that was. “Good ride, cowboy.”

He chuckles, heart pounding in his chest as he caresses your back, “fuck, my fantasies didn’t do you justice. You are incredible.” He murmurs, kissing your shoulder and up your neck.

You hum in agreement. He cock is softening inside you but you don’t even have the strength to move off of him. “Much better than getting drunk downstairs.”

Joel smiles, “absolutely. I, uh, wouldn’t mind doing it again. And again.” He confesses with a softness to his voice as he caresses you. “I’ve wanted you for a while. Do you, maybe, uh, wanna go out sometime?” He asks, wanting you to know this isn’t just a quick fuck at a party.

“Of course I do.” You smirk, pulling back and giving him a small wink. “How else will I be able to ride this construction cowboy anytime I want?” You joke, happy that Lindsey had convinced you to come to this party tonight. This was much better than eating too much candy on your sofa all alone. “Although next time, I want to see that fucking tool belt on your hips. Do you know how sexy that is?”

Joel actually blushes and he shakes his head, "I didn't know. Tool belt...I can make that happen." He promises and leans in to kiss you again. You groan after you pull back, shifting off of him and he reaches down to tuck his soft cock away. "I know I come as a package deal but Sarah loves you. She thinks you are cool as shit. She will be part of the deal if we - you know?" He asks, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I know that.” You promise him. “Never would have thought any different. Sarah is your world. I respect that. She is the first priority in your life, like she should be. I would just like to spend some time with you, and her. I want to see where this could go.” You smile. “It’s not like we live far apart.” You remind him, knowing that it would be a good thing to be so close, unless things don’t work out.

Joel nods, “yeah. Yeah. I just - not everyone wants a single dad.” He admits and you reach out to caress his cheek, “a hot single dad. One I want to fuck.” You giggle and Joel blushes again, “I can definitely arrange that. You want another drink? Some snacks?” He offers, knowing he won’t want to leave the guest room for quite some time. You nod and he shifts off the bed, adjusting his jeans and he puts his shirt back on. He grabs his hat and places it on his head, a wink towards you as he opens the door, “I’ll be right back.” He promises and steps out of the guest room. Making his way downstairs barefoot, he passes couples and friends until he sees Tommy who asks where you are. “She’s upstairs.” Joel confesses, biting his lip, and Tommy smacks him on the shoulder. 

“Fucking finally, man. Good for you. You two make a cute couple. Don’t fuck it up.” Tommy raises his eyebrows and Joel nods, “only thing that’s gonna fuck this up is a goddamn zombie apocalypse.” He jokes and Tommy snorts, “you deserve to be happy, man.” Joel thanks him, grabbing the food and drinks to make his way back upstairs. He’s excited for the future. A future with you.

[guess-my-next-obsession]

Elementary, Chapter Six:

pairing: pre-outbreak!joel miller x sarah’s teacher!reader

rating: E (18+ only, talks of bisexuality (reader is also bisexual), unprotected PIV, just so much fluff it’ll make your teeth rot)

wc: 3.4k

a/n: as a bisexual person who’s known from a very young age that they were different but never had someone to go to about it, i felt it was really important to showcase a relationship between a paternal figure/mentor and child wherein the child feels comfortable seeking advice about the things going on inside their head. if you have an issue with it, you’re entitled to your opinion, but from personal experience i know that pretending as though pre-teens aren’t capable of understanding the complexities of gender and sexuality only leads to them having more questions and more unnecessary shame over things they cannot control. if you don’t agree, please just keep scrolling. everyone is entitled to their own views on this, and i just ask that you respect mine just as i respect yours. 🤍

series masterlist | joel masterlist | elementary playlist

After a weekend of pure bliss, and maybe a bit too much sex, it was time to say goodbye to the man of your dreams, at least for the next three days.

Joel had heeded your advice about whisking Sarah off for a little trip, choosing to take her down to Corpus Cristi rather than San Antonio so that they could enjoy the ocean for the first time in a long time.

At the present moment, you stood in the driveway of his two-story suburban home, the Texas sun setting behind the houses across the street. Joel was in the garage with Tommy, changing the tires on their truck while you contentedly looked on, a glass of fresh lemonade in your hand courtesy of Sarah and Jessie.

“Hey, baby?” Joel called, the pet name slipping from his lips as casually as a breath. You forced your grin to calm at the sound.

“Yeah?” you replied.

“Would you mind goin’ inside and grabbin’ us a couple beers? Pretty please,” he sweet-talked you, his hands covered with grease, his face and neck glistening from sweat. How could you deny him his request when he looked like that? When he looked at you like that?

“I suppose I could,” you smirked. “But it’s gonna cost you.”

“What’s your price?” he asked, matching your smile.

“A couple smooches.”

“Oh, for the love of God,” Tommy groaned at the cutesy game the two of you were playing.

“You can pay up later,” you spoke to Joel, your eyes flickering over to his crabby brother. Joel chuckled and nodded, giving you a wink before returning to his task.

Inside the house, Sarah sat with Jessie in the living room, the two girls occupied by the 1995 film adaptation of this month’s book club pick: Sense and Sensibility.

“How’s it going in here?” you asked with a friendly smile. “The movie any good?”

“It’s alright, I just thought the guys would be better looking,” Sarah replied.

“Yeah, isn’t Willoughby supposed to be…hot?” Jessie added, looking to you as you stood in the kitchen.

“Hugh Grant isn’t ugly,” you argued with a laugh. “Never been my cup of tea but a lot of women seem to find him good looking.”

“Well, they need to get their eyes checked. You know who’s hot? Justin Timberlake,” Jessie proudly declared, earning a gag from her friend.

“Yeah, so hot with his ramen hair,” Sarah snarked sarcastically. “Have you seen Usher?”

“Yeah, he’s cute, too,” Jessie agreed.

“You know who I was really into when I was a teenager?” you asked, and both girls looked full of interest. “Freddie Mercury.”

“Who’s that?” they asked in unison, making you gasp.

“Who’s that?” you repeated. “Oh, girls, your parents have failed you. He’s the lead singer of Queen,” you waited for them to place the rock star in their minds. “Bohemian Rhapsody? We Will Rock You?”

“No clue,” Sarah shook her head. “You think my dad would know him?”

“If he doesn’t, he’s crazy,” you chuckled. “Anyways, I gotta go bring these out before Tommy gets an attitude. You two have fun arguing about Justin Timberlake and Usher.”

“And you have fun daydreaming about Frankie Mars!”

“Freddie Mercury!” you corrected with a chuckle.

Back outside in the garage, the boys greeted you with a cheer as you handed over their beers. Joel planted a kiss upon your cheek as you leaned into his side, his hand too dirty to hold your waist so he refrained.

“You both know who Freddie Mercury is, right?” you asked as they took sips from their cold amber bottles.

“Yeah, Queen,” Joel replied and Tommy nodded in confirmation. “Why?”

“Sarah and Jessie had no idea who he or Queen was,” you chuckled. “Called him Frankie Mars.”

“My god,” Tommy shook his head. “Yet they’ll talk your ear off about B2K and N-Sync.”

“Sign of the times,” Joel sighed and chuckled before tilting his beer towards you. “Hey, where’s your drink at?”

“I gotta drive home,” you reminded, earning a pout.

“Thought you might stay the night,” he murmured just for you to hear. “Since I’m gonna be gone for the next few days.”

“Well, I never got an invitation,” you snarked with a tilt of your head.

“Go get a beer,” he ordered with a smirk.

The boys remained outside well after the sun had set over the horizon, tinkering with the truck and letting the radio play, the sounds of 80’s and 90’s love songs filling the night air. Jessie had gone home, leaving Sarah to join the three of you outside.

“Baby,” Joel turned and locked eyes with you as “Weak” by SWV came on the radio, a charming, pleading smile on his face as he held his grease-covered hand out for you. “Dance with me.”

“These two,” Tommy rolled his eyes and chuckled, shaking his head in disgust as he looked to his niece. “Can’t wait til this honeymoon shit is over.”

“As long as you wipe your hands off,” you ignored Tommy’s complaining and stood up off the hood of your car where you’d been looking at the stars with Sarah. Joel pulled a rag out of his back pocket and cleaned his hands as best as possible as you walked to him. “This is gonna be our song now, you know?”

“It’s a damn good song,” he argued, placing one hand on the small of your back while the other held yours in slowdance form. He pressed his cheek to yours and led you to the music, slowly swaying you around to the beat.

“I didn’t know you could dance,” Sarah teased from the car, an amused smile on her face at the sight before her.

“I can’t,” he replied.

“You’re not too shabby,” you mumbled in his ear, earning a squeeze to your waist. Joel turned his face to whisper into your ear.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about gettin’ you alone all damn day,” he confessed, making your heart skip a beat. “You think I haven’t noticed you checkin’ me out?”

“I’m always checking you out,” you admitted with a smile. “The whole sweaty man working with his hands thing just makes it even harder to look away.”

“Hmm,” he hummed in thought for a minute before speaking again. “This might be a good incentive for me finally gettin’ around to fixin’ shit up ‘round here.”

“As long as you invite me over to watch.” Joel laughed and nodded.

“I think you’d faint if you saw me at work.”

“And I think you’d be very, very bored if you saw me at work.”

“You kiddin’?” he asked rhetorically. “The idea of you teachin’ multiplication drives me crazy.”

You pinched his side and rolled your eyes, laughing at his sarcasm.

“Although, I do love those dresses you wear to work,” he husked, his tone still light but there was an undeniable desire in it. “Those actually drive me crazy.”

“Joel, can you and your lady love split up for a goddamn minute so you can help me change out this oil?” Tommy called over the music, forcing a deep sigh from his brother. Joel pressed a kiss onto your cheek and hummed.

“We’ll continue this dance later,” he promised. “Alone and in the nude. How’s that sound?”

“Sounds like you better hurry up and finish,” you pulled away from him with a smirk. Joel mustered the strength to leave your embrace, heading back to the truck while you walked back to the car, resuming your place next to Sarah on the hood.

“I was trying to find the Big Dipper,” Sarah started as you got comfortable, her small hand pointing around the night sky. “But I can’t see it.”

“Hmm, well, I think that’s the Little Dipper,” you pointed out a vague constellation, the street lights making the stars harder to spot. “No clue where the big one is.”

A beat of comfortable silence fell over the two of you as you laid there, eyes searching the stars. You wondered for a moment if looking at these bright little orbs in the sky affected her the same way it affected you, forcing you to think about your humanity and how lucky you were to have found this beautiful family in such a vast universe. Though you’d long since given up on wishing on stars, perhaps one of your wishes for true love you made as a little girl actually came true, the brown eyed man in front of you brought to you by some unseen force, some magic worked by the Cosmos.

“Hey…can I ask you something?” Sarah tilted her head to look at you and you did the same, nodding your head at her. “It’s silly, and…well, I don’t want you to think anything—whatever, I’ll just come out and ask. Is it…is it possible to maybe like boys…and girls?”

“Oh,” you sucked in a sharp breath, eyes flickering to Joel as he leaned underneath the hood of his pick-up truck.

“It’s just…well, when we were talking about celebrity crushes earlier, Jessie knew right away that she liked Usher. But for me, I had two people pop into my mind. Usher and Beyoncé. And then when Jessie and I were talking about boys we liked at school, I thought of José G and, well, Jessie. But I didn’t tell her that, obviously.”

“You know, I can only speak for myself, but I’ve always liked both women and men,” you spoke carefully, knowing that not only was she your pupil, but also not your child to influence. The last thing you wanted was to cross a line with Joel, not that you thought he’d be against his daughter’s potential bisexuality—he’d been incredibly supportive when you confessed your own to him on your first date. “But this might be something you could bring up with your therapist, or even your dad.”

“What if he gets mad?” she asked, her eyes turning to watch her father as he wiped his oily hands clean.

“You know your dad better than I do. Does he really seem like the type to get mad over something like that?” Sarah chuckled and shook her head. “If it’s something you’re nervous about, I could bring it up to him for you.”

“Really?” She turned to you with a smile. “That would take a lot of the pressure off.”

“Of course,” you smiled. “And as for Jessie, I think the best romances are born out of friendship. You guys are so young, you don’t need to worry about all that other complicated stuff for now. Just…be her friend. It’ll all work out how it’s supposed to in the end.”

“I’m really glad my dad found you,” she spoke sincerely. “It’s been hard for both of us after mom died, but it’s been even harder watching him be so alone. And not only do you make him happy, you’re also there for me. It’s…really nice.”

“You’re gonna make me cry, kid,” you chuckled and wiped your teary eyes.

“What’s goin’ on over here?” Joel approached the hood of the car and both of you sat upright, chuckling at his cluelessness.

“Just talking,” you replied.

“Alright, well, it’s gettin’ late, baby girl,” Joel tapped Sarah’s shoe. “We’re gonna head out early tomorrow, so I think it’s bedtime for you.”

“And you,” she countered, poking his stomach as she walked past him. “Night y’all.”

“Night,” you waved at her as she walked up to Tommy to hug him goodnight.

“You gonna fill me in?” Joel tapped your shoe.

“Yeah, upstairs.” You stood up and walked into his open arms, allowing him to squeeze you close and sway you.

“Tommy’s spending the night so we’re gonna have a full house,” he mumbled into your hair. “Gonna have to be extra quiet.”

“What makes you think you’re getting lucky tonight?” you teased, lifting your head just enough to rest your chin on his chest. Joel’s smile had you weak in the knees as he looked down at you, still hugging you close.

“Gotta pay up for those beers somehow,” he replied.

After wishing Tommy a good night, you and Joel headed upstairs to his bedroom, his hands grabbing at your hips the entire way. Once the door was shut, he was all over you, pressing his lips to your neck as he backed you towards his en-suite.

“Need to shower,” he husked against the shell of your ear.

“So do I.”

“What ever will we do about that?” he grinned against your skin, earning a few giggles that sounded in the acoustics of his bathroom. Letting go of you, he walked over to the shower to get the water going while you stripped out of your clothes.

“I didn’t bring anything,” you frowned, just then realizing you’d be going without a toothbrush and a clean set of clothes.

“Hold on,” he walked out of the bathroom and into his bedroom, opening his dresser to retrieve a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. “Here’s your pj’s,” he set the clothes on the bathroom counter before opening the drawer beneath the sink and grabbing a brand new toothbrush still in its packaging. “All good?”

“You just keep a spare toothbrush on hand?” you asked, grinning as you opened the package.

“I got it for you,” he replied sheepishly. “Figured you’d stay over at some point.”

“You are…annoyingly perfect,” you breathed out a chuckle, shaking your head. “And I love you.”

Joel’s grin widened at the sound of your affections, those three words still new to both of you.

“I love you,” he repeated through his grin. “And I need you, so I suggest you get your fine ass in the shower.”

“You gonna make me?” you purred, reaching for the button of his jeans and popping it undone. Joel shivered as you reached inside his underwear to palm his stiffened length, his brows lacing together.

“You got me wrapped around your finger, baby,” he moaned breathily, his hands cradling your jaw as he leaned in for a slow and sensual kiss. “Do I gotta get down on my knees for you?”

“Maybe,” you grinned into the kiss. Joel lowered himself to the ground in front of you, his hands resting on your thighs as he peered up at you with those brown, doe eyes of his. Pushing his hair back, you smiled at him softly. “You look good from down there.”

“Can’t say I’ve got a bad view myself,” he smirked and leaned forward to press a kiss to your mound, right about where you needed him most. Guiding his eyes back to you with a tilt of his chin, you smoothed over his beard.

“Come on, cowboy. Let’s get in the shower before the water gets cold.”

Joel stood up and followed you into the steamy tub, pulling the curtain closed behind him while you let the stream of hot water wash over you. His hands found your hips and his lips pressed against your throat as you tipped your head back to wet your hair, his cock prodding at your belly.

“So beautiful,” he mumbled against your skin as though he didn’t mean for you to hear it. “Every inch of you…perfect.”

You guided his lips from your chest back up to yours, swallowing down his moan as he hugged you close under the stream of hot water. You gasped as he turned you around and pressed your back against the cold wall, one of his wide-spread hands gripping your ass, the other lifting your thigh to wrap around his hip.

“Need you,” you breathed into his ear as he sucked a mark into your neck. Joel let out a choked groan against your heated skin and nodded, the hand on your ass moving to grip his length and guide it into your heat. You sighed in unison at the feeling of his cock burying inside of you, your walls sore from the constant fucking ever since Friday night. “God,” you mewled as he stilled deep inside you. “Gotta go slow. S’too sore still.”

“Do you wanna stop?” he asked, desire straining his voice.

“No,” you quickly shook your head. “God, no.”

Joel lifted his head from your shoulder to look at you, his hand reaching to cup your face as he slowly withdrew himself. His thumb swiped across your bottom lip as he pushed back in, his eyes studying the way your face scrunched from the pleasure.

“Love you so much,” he moaned, his eyes glossy with lust.

What started slow and tender soon turned ravenous, his cock spearing into you once you were relaxed enough to take him properly. His grunts were muffled as he pressed his lips against your cheek while you bit your lip in an attempt to silence your cries. Your body moved against the wall as he thrust up into you, stroking against that spot inside that blinded you with bliss.

“God,” he choked out into your ear. “Pussy’s so damn good.”

“Joel, touch me,” you begged, needed just a little bit of help from his fingers to help you reach your climax. Joel was quick to act, sliding his hand down the front of your body so that he could strum over your clit in perfectly pressured circles. “Just like that, oh my god.”

“Baby, I’m so fuckin’ close,” he whined, his eyes screwed shut as he leaned forward, resting his forehead on your shoulder. You held the back of his head and shoulders, clinging to him for dear life as your body went limp from your climax, pleasure shooting from your core down to your toes as he fucked you through it. “Gonna cum, baby, fuck,” he warned, hips stuttering.

“Cum inside me, baby,” you purred, drunk on your post-climactic bliss and kissing his temple. Joel moaned in time with his last few sharp thrusts until he stilled inside you, his chest heaving against yours.

“Fuck,” he chuckled, lifting his head to give you a lazy grin. “You’re makin’ me feel old, woman.”

“Maybe you are old, man,” you grinned back, tracing his smile with your fingertip. “I love you.”

“Never gonna get tired of hearin’ that,” he chuckled and leaned forward to give you a sweet peck. “I love you too.”

After finally washing up and getting ready for bed, you tucked into Joel’s side, resting your head on his chest as the soft hum of the ceiling fan threatened to lull you into sleep, but there was still one thing left to talk about.

“So, uh, Sarah asked me something earlier,” you began, only slightly nervous to bring the subject up.

“Oh yeah? That what you two were talkin’ about outside?” Joel rasped.

“Yeah,” you rolled over a bit, resting your chin on his chest so that you could look into his eyes. “She, uh, she asked me if it was possible to like both girls and boys.”

Joel’s heavy-lidded eyes widened, his attention earned. “Oh?”

“Yeah,” you chuckled.

“What did you say?”

“I told her that I could only speak for myself, and that I’ve felt that way since I was a kid,” you replied, studying his reaction carefully. Joel nodded, thinking to himself for a moment before turning back to you.

“Why didn’t she…come to me about this?” he asked, frowning a bit. “Did she think I wouldn’t be okay with it?”

“It’s a hard subject to breach,” you reminded with a shrug. “I’m sure it wasn’t anything personal.”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Should I bring it up on the trip? Does she know you told me?”

“Yeah, she wanted my help getting her foot in the door,” you replied.

“Well,” he chuckled. “At least now there’s a good chance she won’t bring any stupid boys home.”

“I don’t know, I’m bisexual and look at where I am,” you rubbed his chest with a smirk. “In a stupid, gorgeous boy’s bed.”

“That’s true,” he smirked at you for a moment before sighing. “God, I really hope she isn’t worried about what I think about all this. I don’t care what she is or who she likes, she’s my baby girl.”

“She knows that,” you assured. “And if not, there’s always time to let her know.”

“What would I do without you?” he hummed, giving you a squeeze and a kiss upon your forehead.

“You’re doing a better job with her than you think,” you combed his hair back. “All I’m doing is reminding you of it.”

“I’m gonna cry if you keep bein’ so damn nice to me,” he chuckled.

“Shh,” you laughed and kissed his nose. “Let’s go to bed before I make you shed your first tear in years.”

“I cry often, thank you very much,” he corrected sassily.

“My apologies,” you grinned against him as you cuddled him from behind, Joel’s preferred position. Kissing his shoulder, you rubbed his stomach and whispered, “Good night, baby.”

“Good night, honey.”

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[tightjeansjavi]

♡ Barbie Girl ♡ | AU!Joel Miller x f! Reader

A/N: this was such a fun lil idea to pursue and I love the idea of Joel wearing pink just cause he knows how happy it makes Sarah ♡

~word count: 1.5k~

Summary: Joel, Sarah and Tommy go to the Barbie movie opening weekend

Warnings: none, lots of fluff, Joel is a feminist icon, soft dad vibes, Joel is a girl dad himbo, he’ll do anything to make his kid happy, Sarah is an icon on her own, Tommy is Tommy of course but he’s so himbo too, AU that takes place in 2023, Joel is a progressive dad, Sarah loves him for it, little bit of flirting with Joel and the reader, no age gap, some spoilers for the Barbie movie! (+18 for language) minors dni.

July 2023, Austin Texas

Joel Miller never would consider himself to be a ‘girl dad’ as the younger generation would refer to him as. He had to literally look up what the word ‘DILF’ meant when Sarah told him one day after school that all of the moms thought he was attractive. He had Google on speed dial just so he could feel like he was ‘hip’ again. 36 years old and he felt older than ever. Sarah was a big help of course and steered her dad in the right direction political wise. Her dad was a good man of course, but nothing made her happier than when she had his full support as a young woman. Before the Barbie movie came out, Joel and Sarah spent every weekend volunteering at a local women’s shelter. The bumper of his truck was decorated with women-empowering stickers including a sticker that said, ‘Abortion is Healthcare’ and ‘Women’s Rights Are Human Rights.’ He didn’t stop there of course. He also had a BLM sticker, ‘Dismantle White Supremacy’, ‘Eat The Rich’ and he still had a Bernie sticker front and center.

The weekend that the Barbie movie came out, Joel had already pre ordered tickets for him, Sarah and Tommy as well who had multiple pink shirts for Joel to choose from. Sarah had insisted that they all had to wear pink and Joel would do just about anything to make his baby girl happy.

“Are ya sure your old man doesn’t look silly in this?” Joel gestured to his hot pink tee-shirt with a soft huff as he observed his appearance in the mirror.

“Dad, why do you think you look silly? Pink is totally your color!” Sarah responded with a genuine smile as she playfully placed the Barbie baseball cap on his mess of brown curls. “Do you or do you not feel Bonita?”

Joel stifled a chuckle, shaking his head as he fixed the cap on his head. “I feel Bonita.”

The drive to the movie theater consisted of listening to a Barbie inspired Spotify playlist off of Sarah’s phone. Joel and Tommy proudly knew every word to the Barbie Girl song of course. Once they arrived to the theater, Joel was awe-struck at the amount of people who were dressed in pink and he felt less self-conscious about his hot pink shirt when he saw numerous guys and dads wearing pink shirts as well.

At first he was confused when a group of women around his age said, “Hi Ken” to him and Tommy, and “Hi Barbie” to Sarah who immediately responded with a wave and, “Hi Barbie!” She gently nudged her dad with her elbow as he stood there blinking, mouth opening and closing like a fish. “Dad, you gotta say hi Barbie! Back.”

“Oh. OH! Shit, sorry sweet pea.” He cleared his throat under his breath before he raised his hand with a sheepish smile. “Hi Barbie!” He was looking right at you out of all of your friends. You were dressed head to toe in pink and you mirrored the same sheepish smile that he did. Joel turned to his daughter afterwards, cheeks feeling inflamed. “Did I do alright? So, I say that everytime someone says hi Ken?”

“You did great, dad! Yeah, so everytime a Barbie says, ‘hi Ken!’ You say, ‘hi Barbie!’, and when a Ken says, ‘hi Ken!’ You say, ‘hi Ken!’”

“Yeah, brother. It ain’t that hard.” Tommy chimed in and wrapped his arm around Joel’s shoulders and gave them a light squeeze.

“Shuddup Tommy.” Joel grumbled under his breath.

Your friends from your college days insisted that you join them to go see the new Barbie movie. At first you were against the idea until you read reviews and once you saw it was a movie that empowered women, you were all in. It was your idea in the end to dress head to toe in pink and you and your friends each had a comfort Barbie in your purses as well.

When you saw Joel Miller across the way looking confused as all hell when your friends said ‘hi Ken!’ You thought he was adorable for two reasons. One being he clearly was wearing pink to support his daughter and two, he looked proud of himself after saying ‘hi Barbie!’ To you and your friends.

“Now, that’s a real man if I’ve ever seen one!” Your one friend, Jessica excitedly whispered to the group as if she was back in her highschool days in the passing period hallways.

“Okay, but his brother? Jesus Christ, if I wasn’t married I would be all over that!” Avery chimed in with a giggle.

“How do you know that they’re brothers? They could be two dads taking their daughter to the movies.” You responded with a shrug as you pulled up the tickets on your phone.

“Nah, they look related and besides, the one with the baseball cap was looking right at you babe!” Jaimie commented with a small grin as she nudged your side gently.

“No, he wasn’t.” You responded with a light laugh and shake of your head.

“Girl, he looked like a blubbering fish when he saw you.” Your friends all affirmed.

Your friends were right on the money with that one. Joel Miller was doing his absolute best to check you out in the most respectful way he could while he was in the line for popcorn. Sarah of course caught the way her dad was looking at you, and she was determined to get him to muster up the courage to talk to you after the movie.

The movie was everything Sarah had imagined it to be. She laughed, she cried and Joel and Tommy had teared up during some of the scenes. Especially when Barbie and Ken travel to the real world and the first thing she experiences is being cat-called and objectified by men. The patriarchy was alive and well outside of Barbie land and as a straight man, Joel recognized that he and Tommy had an easy life compared to their female counterparts. This didn’t mean that they agreed with it. In fact, Joel and Tommy were fully against the patriarchal system.

Sarah found herself hugging her dad tightly as the credits rolled and he was gently smoothing down her curls and kissing the top of her head. Sometimes Joel felt guilty over the fact that Sarah no longer had a mother figure in her life, but it was moments like these that reminded him that he was just a dad doing his best for his kid who he loved so dearly. “I love you so much, baby girl. I’ll always fight for you. Okay, kiddo?” He whispered softly with his lips against her temple.

Sarah hugged him tighter. “I love you so much dad. Thank you for always being there for me.”

Tommy was tearing up again.

The three Millers took a selfie with the Barbie poster just outside the movie theater with their faces squished into the frame. The picture was being taken while you were standing outside of the women’s bathroom waiting for your friends. You watched as Joel struggled to get his phone at the right angle, so you took it upon yourself to go over and help. “Hi Kens, hi Barbie! Would you guys like me to take a picture of you?”

Joel already felt his cheeks begin to heat up. “Hi Barbie. That would be great if ya could. Can never get these damn angles right with this thing. I uh—I like your outfit. It’s very Barbie.” He commented softly.

“Thanks, Ken. I really like your baseball cap.” You responded with a genuine smile as he handed you his phone. You took a few steps back so that all three Miller’s would be in the frame. You took a few photos before handing him his phone back just as your friends were departing from the bathroom.

“Hey, Barbie? Before you go, my dad is way too shy to say it but he thinks you’re super duper pretty.” Sarah proclaimed without skipping a beat.

Joel was beet red now as he scrubbed a hand down his face, fingertips scraping across his beard. “Sarah! You can’t just—” He sighed with a nervous smile. “Okay, it’s true Barbie. I do think you’re super duper pretty. Cats out of the bag thanks to my daughter.” He gave Sarah a playful warning look and mussed up her curls.

“Well Ken, it’s your lucky day because I think you’re really handsome. Do you wanna see Oppenheimer with me next weekend?”

“I would absolutely love to go see Oppenheimer with you next weekend Barbie.” Joel didn’t hesitate to respond.

“It’s a date. See you next weekend, Ken.” You exchanged phone numbers before you made your way over to your friends who were waiting for you.

“This Barbie has a date next weekend!” You told your friends the good news and they all excitedly cheered for you.

As soon as Joel and Sarah got home, Sarah dug out her old box of Barbie’s and brought them down to the living room, while Joel had found all of the Barbie DVD’s that Sarah insisted he keep. They spent the rest of the evening playing with her Barbie’s and watching the Princess and the Pauper; Sarah’s all time favorite Barbie movie.

Tag list: @chaotic-mystery @saradika @cavillscurls @thetriumphantpanda @sinsofsummers @morning-star-joy @cupofjoel @dinsdjrn @korynnekorynne @kirsteng42 @last-girl @tessa-quayle (you will love this one)

Creator divider made by @saradika

Barbie divider made by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

[delta-piscium]

I wrote this in September and it’s been collecting dust in my docs and staring back at me with judgement whenever I post or write something else so here 

“Steve” a familiar voice shouts across the room.

Steve turns around, and there, on the other side of the crowded room is Tommy. It really shouldn’t be as big of a shock to see him as it is. Steve is at a house party on a Friday night, it would have been weirder if Tommy wasn’t here. But still, that doesn’t mean he’s prepared to see him, they basically haven’t talked in three years, ever since Steve ‘chose’ Nancy over him and Carol (aka finally dropped them because they were horrible and didn’t drop Nancy because she isn’t). 

Still, he plasters on a smile, making it as polite as he can, and waves. Hopes it will be enough but of course, it isn’t. Tommy starts weaving through people, pushing and elbowing his way toward Steve.

“Its been ages,” he says clapping his hand on Steve’s shoulder, “how have you been man.”

Steve resists the urge to shrug his hand off, but it’s a close thing. 

“It has.” Steve doesn’t add ‘because you’re an asshole and I hate who I am around you’ and he feels very mature for it. “I’m good.” He very deliberately does not ask Tommy how he’s been. 

“Me too, me too.” He responds anyways, at least he finally removes his hand from Steve’s shoulder which makes him relax marginally. “Still dating Nancy?” 

And, okay yeah, he and Tommy haven’t really spoken since he and Nancy were still together but Hawkins is a small town and he’s sure Tommy knows that Nancy had both broken up with Steve, gone on to date Jonathan for two years, and recently broken up with him as well. Actually, he thinks he remembers a shower conversation with Billy just days after she dumped him and went off to Murray with Jonathan, a conversation that Tommy was also present for.

“No, we broke up years ago.” He dutifully replies anyways, because what else can he say? 

“Yeah, heard she dumped you?” 

Steve is gonna remain calm, play along in whatever game Tommy is playing, and not react. 

“She did,” he agrees easily.

“And got with Jonathan right after? Should have listened to us and stayed away.” He grins as he speaks, grins as if Steve is gonna agree with him. 

“We’re still friends,” Steve shrugs, letting the fall of Tommy’s smile bring one to his own lips.

“Was for the best that we broke up, we’re much better as friends.” 

Tommy squints a bit, his hackles raising and Steve only notices because he once knew him so well. Why he’s still getting defensive talking about Nancy Steve doesn’t know.

“Oh Stevie, you still hung up on her huh?” 

It’s deliberate, he’s trying to press Steve’s buttons. ‘Well, tough Tommy-boy.’ Steve thinks, ‘those ones don’t work anymore, have been defunct for ages. You’re gonna have to do better than that if you want a reaction.’ 

“Nah,” he says, lets his smile be a bit more genuine when he continues, “she’s great but I’m dating someone else.” 

“Rebound?” Tommy whistles, “she hot?” 

Why Tommy is convinced Steve is still pining after Nancy he can’t say, or maybe it’s the only angle he has on Steve nowadays? Except they basically lived in each other's pockets all through high school and if Tommy really wants to get under Steve’s skin there are other things, better things. Things he has used against Steve before and seen the effect of. Why he isn’t he using them now when he clearly has some agenda Steve can’t say.

Steve is about to respond, has his mouth open and ready to speak when someone calls his name again. Thankfully this time the source is a lot more pleasant. 

Tommy turns around to see who it is, completely exposing his back to Steve. It’s probably the last few years of fighting hell monsters that has ingrained a distrust in Steve. Making him hyper-aware of his surroundings and never willing to leave his back open like this to people he doesn’t trust. He knows this but still, he thinks there should be some primal instinct in Tommy to stop him from making himself so vulnerable to Steve, the action speaks of leftover trust that Steve isn’t ready to face. 

“Munson? You know Munson?” He turns back around, an incredulous look on his face.

It snaps Steve out of his thoughts and reminds him Eddie had called for him. He leans to the side, stretching out so he’s visible behind Tommy, catching Eddie’s eye and waving him over.

“I do, yeah.”

Tommy’s face twists into something Steve can’t immediately place. He recognizes it, knows he’s seen Tommy make that face before. It’s not disgust or confusion but maybe something in between? Before he can figure it out it clears.

“Oh, King Steve getting drugs? Who would have thought?” 

Steve rolls his eyes, the only reason he had stopped smoking weed for a while in high school was because athletes got tested. Why Tommy is pretending Steve ever had some moral issue with it now is beyond him but not much of this interaction has made sense to him so far so what’s one more thing?

“What Steve doing drugs? He’s a very responsible young man and would never” Eddie says, twisting past the last couple of people.

“Right Stevie? You wouldn’t touch the stuff?” Eddie–knowing very well that Steve would in fact ‘touch the stuff’–asks. 

“Not with a ten-foot pole.” Steve–who smoked yesterday–deadpans. 

“Knew I could trust in you to stay a good boy.” Eddie coos as he steps into Steve's space and kisses him despite where they are. It’s quick enough that no one who isn’t watching would catch it though and the only one who is watching is Tommy. When Steve looks back at him his face slack with shock. 

“Hagan,” Eddie says with a short nod. 

“You-?” Tommy looks between them, that same look as before flashing on his face, still just out of Steve’s grasp.

Steve contemplates what he should do for a second but Tommy already saw them kiss, already knows. And honestly, Steve doesn’t really care what he thinks and he knows Tommy won't say anything. Steve has too much dirt on him.

“Oh sorry, Tommy this is my boyfriend.” His voice is deceptively sweet as he introduces Eddie as if that’s what Tommy had been getting at.

Steve turns to Eddie, “baby, you know who Tommy is right?” 

He’s laying it on thick, asks despite Eddie greeting him by name two seconds ago. Knows others' unabashed confidence and being on the outside are things Tommy can’t handle.

“I think so,” Eddie plays along, “you were friends once right? Before you found better people?” 

It’s mean but Steve wouldn't have thought too much of it if it weren’t for the wounded noise Tommy makes. When Steve looks at him again his face is cracked open and it finally clicks what that expression is.

“Aw, you jealous?” Eddie says in a mocking tone, hitting the nail on the head because that’s exactly what that expression is, jealousy. 

It’s the same look he had whenever Steve told him about a new girl, the look he’d have when Steve started bringing Nancy around. It’s deeper though, not only jealousy. He also looks like he did when Steve told him and Carol to leave him alone. He doesn’t just look jealous, Tommy looks heartbroken. 

He tries to pull it together, scrunching his nose up in disdain, and scowls at them. Quickly looks away from Steve when their eyes catch and his mask falls a bit, instead focusing on Eddie who raises one eyebrow in response. 

“Hardly,” he scoffs, it comes out strained, “I would love to stay and chat but-” 

He doesn’t elaborate, just turns on his heel and disappears into the crowd.

Steve is frozen to the spot, a war going on in his head. Puzzle pieces he didn’t know were missing falling into place.

“Come on, let's get out of here.” Eddie grabs Steve’s wrist and starts pulling him outside, away from the party. He gets them in his car and doesn’t try to speak to Steve, probably sensing he’s having some earth-shattering realizations right now. 

“He liked me,” he finally manages to say. “That’s why he hated Nancy so much. He was...” he trails off, knows it’s true but can’t quite say it.

“Jealous,” Eddie finishes softly.

“You knew?” Steve asks because Eddie doesn’t sound or look surprised at all.

He shrugs, “I had my suspicions.”

“But how-”

“We looked at you the same,” his smile is wry, self-deprecating, “I recognized it.”

And Steve can’t really process this right now even though he knows it’s true so he grasps at straws, “Carol, he was with Carol?”

Eddie reaches out one arm and cups his face in his hand, glances at him quickly before he looks back at the road with a sad smile.

“If you’re in love with your best friend, your male best friend who you believe is straight, you do what you need to do to push it down, to hide it. Especially in high school and in a small town.”

“In love?” Steve rasps because he’d said ‘like’.

“Yeah, sweetheart. In love.”

Eddie brushes his fingers under Steve’s eye and he realizes it’s because he’s crying.

“I’m sorry,” he says, “I don’t know why I'm reacting like this.” 

And it’s true, he really doesn’t understand why it feels like a big hole has opened in him. He never liked Tommy, not like that, yet it feels like he’s lost something, fucked something up.

“He used to be your best friend, it’s a big thing to realize.” Eddie parks outside of his trailer, turns to Steve making no move to get out of the car. “Kind of changes everything, or at least puts it in a new context, explains some things.”

Steve feels the blood drain from his face because he’s suddenly remembered something and oh god does it put it in a new fucking context.

“Baby?” Eddie asks when Steve sits frozen again.

“We used to get wasted and make out,” he whispers the words, shame coursing through his veins.

Eddie goes still and Steve rushes the explain.

“Not often and not after he got with Carol, just,” he takes a shallow breath, “It happened a few times. We’d steal my dad's whiskey and get so beyond drunk and, well, kiss a lot.” 

He’d smile at the memory if he wasn’t so horrified by it at the moment. 

“The first time Tommy had never kissed anyone, asked me to teach him so he wouldn’t fuck it up when it mattered. Then after that it just kind of continued to happen. We’d get drunk, make out, and pretend like nothing. It stopped when he started seeing Carol, he tried but I stopped him. Told him he didn’t need to practice now when he had the real deal. We never talked about or even mentioned it.”

Steve sees Eddie’s arms shake and when he looks up he sees Eddie holding back laughter, eyes filled with barely concealed amusement.

“Are you laughing right now?”

Eddie stops holding back, letting the laughter burst out of him and Steve is so confused because he thought Eddie would be mad at him. He’s not sure why, it’s just that this has been such a deeply buried secret wrapped in shame for years with a big ‘do not talk or even think about it’ sign placed in front of it. That it would be met with laughter was never a possibility.

“I’m sorry,” he gasps through it, “It’s just such a cliche.”

Steve’s confused face only makes Eddie laugh harder. When he calms down he takes Steve's face in both his hands holding him firmly and looking him in the eyes.

“Steve, baby, sweetheart. Tommy used the oldest trick in the book on you, asking you to teach him how to kiss and you did it multiple times because what? he needed practice? That’s the flimsiest excuse to gay kiss your best friend and it’s also fucking done, it’s a cliche.”

Steve blinks, realizes that while he never had feelings for Tommy he had definitely found him attractive, had enjoyed kissing him. Had very deliberately not thought too deeply about his or Tommy's motives because that would have made it something he would have had to face.

“Oh,” he says.

Eddie smiles, wide and warm, “yeah, oh.”

“You don’t think I used him?” Steve has to ask, “if he had feelings for me and I didn’t have any for him.”

“No,” Eddie says, “not more than he did you. And you were kids, just messing around and trying to figure yourselves out in a not-very-accommodating world.”

Eddie squints a bit in thought, “though he probably thought you were more on the same page, that you could continue even though he was with Carol. Must have stung to be rejected.”

Steve snorts, “wasn’t really interested in helping anyone cheat, even under all the pretenses.”

“I know.” 

Eddie's eyes are soft, looking at him with so much warmth that Steve momentarily forgets what they were talking about until Eddie's mouth twists into a sly grin.

“I can’t believe your first gay experience was with Tommy fucking Hagan.”

Steve gives him an unimpressed look, “at least I didn’t come in my pants ten seconds in, like some people I know.”

Eddie draws back, clutching his chest with his hands, “harsh words, love. It was at least a minute.”

[glitterarygetsit]

ok ok instant rewatch of the relevant scenes - reposting because the cut didn’t work for my wall o’spoilers

Eddie’s confession: noting that after Christopher, the first person he says he lied to is Buck 👀 👀 👀

“you can even take Eddie” “really?” FORESHADOWING

buck needing to be reminded that tommy is gay because everyone is hot to him hashtag just bisexual things 🩷💜💙

HIMBO BUCK CONFIRMED

genuinely this is one of the funniest things that’s ever happened on this show

“How many men did Abby turn gay” - Abby sleep with Eddie next challenge and get this over with

Can I also just say. I love Josh’s pre- vs post-Glee speech. Not to be an old lady yelling at a cloud but even growing up in the early 2000s, when we were starting to get a little bit of rep—Gen Z has no idea. It’s a COMPLETELY different world.

I also really like how Tommy lying to Abby parallels Michael and Athena. I don’t love how close the show comes to completely condoning stealth queer folks lying to an unwitting partner for convenience but like. you cannot conceive of how different the world was, just as I can’t fully conceive of how different it was in the 80s. the 2000s seem like they were recent but the change is enormous.

Ugh I hate Eddie’s constant no homo thing. YES HOMO.

Isn’t the point of confessionals that what happens in the confessional stays in the confessional? literally no-one in this show has any professional ethics

Man this show really loves putting children in pipes huh? but also like MAJOR callback to the well episode. We Know Something LGBTQ+ Is Gonna Happen Today. further professional ethics failures.

uh huh i bet he shared his spumoni with you buck

what even is spumoni

oh it’s a creamy fruity treat 🍨 yeah he definitely shared that 👀

SELF-IDENTIFIED HIMBO BUCK

Tommy realising that if Buck is half Abby’s age… he would also have been half Tommy’s age at the time…

Groaned OUT LOUD when Buck was like “and we have that right [to get married] because of the brave people who came before” BUCK YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD FUCKING ALLY 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ he’s so embarrassing

Tommy like are you breaking up with me? UNO REVERSE BITCH

God everything hitting Tommy at once—realising he’s always known he was on borrowed time, that he needs to get out before he gets too badly hurt. on the other hand tommy you’re an idiot and you need to give buck more credit.

Tommy thinks he understands where Buck’s at because he’s gay and all his relationships with women were lies. But excited as Buck is, he’s not gay—his relationships with women were real! Abby was his “oh shit, next one could be For Real” relationship. The gender doesn’t matter! That’s how bisexuality works!! I really hope Buck gets to talk about that in later episodes.

Holy shit Eddie dancing scene sure is something. I love that they gave Ryan that chance even if it’s cheesy as hell. Also. THIGHS. BUTT. FUCKING THE COUCH ARE YOU KIDDING ME. gays we’re reclaiming couch-fucking jd vance doesn’t get to keep that one.

Eddie opening the door to Buck, seeing him devastated—he’s GOTTA know. And he doesn’t stop smiling. He takes the beer. He looks at it. He looks at Buck. He looks back at the beer, like “why not?” AND THEN THEY BOTH SIT ON THE COUCH HE WAS JUST WRITHING ON

and BUCK IS ALREADY DRINKING

holding the bottle straight like it’s a dick

AND

JUST

SECONDS

LATER

EDDIE OPENS HIS OWN BOTTLE

AND STARTS SUCKING IT OFF

🌈🔥💕👀❤️🌈🔥🍆🏳️‍🌈🔥🎉🏳️‍🌈💖🎉🏳️‍🌈🍆🔥🏳️‍🌈✨💖🌈👀🏳️‍🌈✨🔥🌈🏳️‍🌈👀💖🍆🍆💦🌈🔥💕🥰💖💕🌈👀💕🎉🍆💖✨🔥🌈💖

[randomly--accessed--memories]

Just a tiny little side note; I’ve noticed another popular Vox headcanon throughout the fandom was that he had a daughter when he was alive - and said daughter was either

an innocent child who ends up dying tragically young directly before Vox’s death

an innocent child who ends up loosing her father when she was incredibly young and never truly knows how terrible he was

either way it leaves for Vox to suffer with emotions except NO! cause he suppresses them to the max lol (it causes more damage lmao!!!)

also seen people use this to layer Vox as a villain by showing more “softer sides” (well as soft as somebody like Vox could be)

Absent father who somewhat loves his kids to think about them & buy them plenty of gifts but not enough to actually be around

He will buy the ballet slippers but he will not be at the dance recital basically

Maybe juuusst maybe he will bring them along on “take your kid to work day” but will probably treat them like trophy children to show off

“Yeah. She got the 1st place in the spelling bee out of her entire elementary!! She’s also a piano prodigy! Ain’t she a smart girl? I’M such a good dad!!”

(Maybe Tom has gifted child burnout)

Oh, I wasn’t aware that Vox having kids was a popular headcanon. Yeah, Sarah definitely falls into the latter category; she lived to a ripe old age and clung on to the handful of fond memories of her dad, remaining in denial about how much of an asshole he really was, despite her brother and mother’s attempts to convince her otherwise (although the other day I came up with an idea where Vox’s kids die young in a car accident (their mother was driving under the influence) and end up in Hell for some reason. Vox probably kills their mom— partially out of anger for getting them killed, partially just because he wanted them for himself— or just picks them up off the streets if she survived the crash and takes them into his care. He keeps them hidden away (possibly in a literal fish tank since they’re both aquatic demons) to protect them from those who might try to harm them to get to him. He gives them all the material comforts they could ever want but never lets them out of his cameras' sight— he’s somehow both a helicopter parent and still super neglectful).

Vox sort of saw his kids more as facets of the “perfect life” he constructed for himself rather than as full people. The All-American Man™ was supposed to be the doting father of 2.5 kids, so that’s what he decided to be. Sarah slotted into that role well because of her timid, docile, and unconditionally loving personality, but Tommy was always more wise to how shitty and fake that image was and refused to fully play into it. As a result, Vox found it easier to interact with Sarah since she craved and would happily accept his affection/attention whenever he bothered to be around, whereas Tommy always looked at him with a more critical/resentful eye. He did genuinely love both his kids, but his self-absorption poisoned his relationships with them.

He’d provide them with all the material comforts they might need but never actually made time for them, only showing up when it was convenient for him. He loved bragging about their achievements to colleagues; he didn’t pressure them to excel that much since his own parents made his childhood miserable by constantly pushing him to be The Best at everything and he didn’t want to inflict that on them, although he could get pretty snappish when he felt like Tommy wasn’t performing his baseline role as The Happy, Perfect Son™. Vox would be thrilled if he ever reunited with him in Hell and learned he went into government— his son, a governor/state representative!— and even though Tom doesn’t want to want this asshole’s approval… he still kinda does.

Thankfully, after 170 years of Insane Stuff, Vox has gone through enough that when he reunites with Sarah in Heaven, he actually wants to build a real relationship with her. He has a hard time accepting his past faults as a father, but he’d too worn-down to continue being a phony asshole, and, well, now he’s got nothing but time to work on correcting those flaws.

[ofstoriesandstardust]

the one where they go camping (b.r.b.)

a/n: i started sending thoughts about the one bed trope with @gretagerwigsmuse​ and it suddenly turned into a full-fledged fic. also, there’s a playlist for this fic!! this is probably a full-fledged disaster but idk i enjoyed it. 

summary: You spend your spring break camping with your friends from UVA. Cue the most awkward five days of your life when it turns out you and Bradley will have to share a bed. 

flight risk masterlist | UVA cast of characters

warnings: swearing, alcohol, one bed trope, cuddling, arguing, food mentions, there’s a knife but it’s only used in a cooking context, the word bitch is used in a derogatory context, canon death of a parent, body insecurity, reference to former toxic relationships, sunshine needs therapy, this is semi-researched and semi my imagination, man i sure do love those fucking commas

word count: 10,612

The sound of keys being tossed on the table catches your attention. You look up from your book, catching a glimpse of Bailey, pulling out a chair next to you. From across her is Madison with Bradley, who is pulling the chair out across from you. You squint in the sunlight, offering him a soft smile. 

"Hey Sunshine.” He says as he sits, tugging his backpack off his shoulders. 

“Hi.” 

“Any fun plans for spring break?” 

You pick up your bookmark, shutting it in the book and setting it on the table as you shake your head. “No, I’ll probably just hang out here. Sleep maybe.” 

Bailey’s head flies up from where she’s looking through her bag. “What?” 

You furrow your eyebrows. “What you do you mean what?”

She doesn’t get a chance to respond as Tommy approaches the table, Eli behind him dragging two other chairs from another table to where you’re sat in the courtyard. It’s a warmer than usual day for March, letting you study outside for the first time in months. 

“Are we discussing camping over here?” Tommy asks, sitting down between Bailey and Bradley. Eli wedges himself in between Tommy and Bradley, barely fitting in the group. 

Bailey nods absent-mindedly, still staring at you. “I thought you were coming camping with us.” 

“Oh- I didn’t-” You swallow, feeling the itch to pull the sleeves of your UVA sweatshirt down around your fingers. “I didn’t realize I was invited.” You mumble, cheeks going hot. 

“What do mean you didn’t realize you were invited? Madison and I discussed it like, six times in front of you.” 

You shrug. “I don’t have any gear to go camping. I’ve never actually even been camping.” 

“How have you never been camping?” Eli asks incredulously, eyes going wide. 

You shrug again. “I don’t know, we always did backyard campouts. My parents couldn’t really afford to take the time off of work.” 

“I still don’t understand why you didn’t think you’d be invited.” 

“I don’t know Bailey, it- it wasn’t an explicit invitation.” You stammer out, wanting to shrink down in your chair. “My parents always told me to never assume I’d been invited places or to invite myself to outings or trips. I didn’t want to assume I’d been invited and have nobody want me there.” 

The table falls silent at the words and you resist the urge to squirm. Madison grabs your wrist, forcing you to look at her as she says your name softly. “You’re invited. We want you there. You don’t need to worry about gear or anything; Tommy and I are already compiling all of our stuff.” 

“Okay.” You say softly, as she gives you a bright smile. 

“Cool beans, cool bean.” She says, punching a laugh out of both you and Bradley. 

“Didn’t you do Girl Scouts?” Eli asks, still frowning. “I’m still struggling to comphrend the fact that you’ve never been camping.” 

You shrug. “Yeah, but only for a few years when I was little. It just got expensive, especially cause my siblings had their own extracurriculars and whatever. Never really got to the age where we did the whole camping thing. Who’s all going on this trip?” 

“You, me, Bails, Mads, Eli and Bradley. I thought Kade would join us but he has to work.” Tommy responds. 

“What about Anna?” You ask, eyebrow raised. “Or Blake, I know he likes camping.” 

Tommy coughs awkwardly. “Yeah, well Blake is busy I think. Anna is going to Oregon to see her boyfriend.” 

“Oh, gotcha.” You glance at the time on your watch. “Anyways, I have to go to class.” 

“We’re leaving on Sunday at seven am sharp! Four days and five nights. Madison will pick you up. Bring clothes to swim cause we’re going to the lake.” Bailey says, pulling a notebook out of her bag. 

“Are you guys still camping at Lake Shenandoah? Why leave so early?” 

“Only gonna be there for five days. We have to maximize our time.” Madison says authoritatively, pulling her sunglasses down on to her face. 

“There can’t be that much to do.” You mutter as you stand up from the table.

“What was that?” 

“Nothing!”

-

Someone calls your name, making you turn. It’s Tommy, running out of the office you’d just walked past. “Hey Tommy.” You say, turning to face him. You have to look up to make eye contact with him, his lanky body towering over yours (and everyone else’s). 

“Hey, I’m glad I caught you. I wanted to talk to you about camping actually.” 

You raise an eyebrow, trying not to suck in your bottom lip to chew on it nervously. 

Did they not want you to go anymore? 

“So, we’ve done some preliminary packing and it turns out there’s not going to be enough room for Madison to drive you.” You swallow, waiting for the inevitable. 

Sorry, we just don’t have room. Maybe next time? 

He continues on however, not noticing your sudden panic. “Anyways, Bailey and Madison will be in Mads car together, but the only other person who’s car will fit all of us is Bradley’s, cause my truck will only fit two people and Eli refuses to drive his quote ‘nice, expensive car to a camp site’ so we’re left with Bradley’s. Anyways, are you cool to ride with him?” 

You nod, even though the thought of being in a car with Bradley for a whole hour feels like the worst idea. 

At least there would be other people? And, given the hierarchy of the friend group, you’d probably end up in the back. 

It would be fine. 

He smiles. “Great. Bradley has your address, right? He’ll pick you up at eight. Eli vetoed the leaving at seven thing.” 

“Oh great, a whole extra hour.” 

Tommy chuckles. “He was originally pushing for eleven.” 

“And that somehow got negotiated down to eight?” 

“Bailey threatened to key his car if he didn’t stop being difficult.” 

“Why do you hang out with him again?” 

“He’s cool.” 

“Yeah, remember when Bailey told you you were frat bro-adjacent? She was right.” You say, turning on your heel. 

“See you Sunday!″ He calls from behind you, smile clear in his tone.

-

You’re sitting out on your front porch, fiddling with your shoelaces nervously as you wait for Bradley. The sun is still rising, just peaking over the horizon. Your head is tucked up into your knees, admiring the sky when Bradley’s car emerges from around the corner. 

You lift your head, up, noticing it's just him in the vehicle as he parks in front of your house. “Where’s your annoying buddy?” You call as he steps out of the car, the door slamming shut behind him. 

He sighs, rounding the vehicle. “Oh boy do I have a story for you.” 

You give a half-laugh, standing up from the step as he walks up the sidewalk towards you. “What? What happened? What did I miss?” 

He shakes his head, not answering the question as he picks up the duffle bag that was siting by your feet. You double-check that the front door is locked and then follow him to the car, where he’s setting the bag in the back with his stuff. “Hop on in.” 

You pull the front passenger door open, sliding in the seat. “Can we stop and get road trip snacks?” 

He pauses from where he’s putting the key in the ignition to look at you. “It’s an hour drive.” 

You shrug, pulling your seatbelt on. “Well, you don't have to get anything but I’m hungry and didn’t eat breakfast. Plus, I love a good road trip snack.” 

He sighs, starting the car. “Yeah, I didn’t eat anything either. We can stop at McDonald’s, if you want.” 

“That works.” 

“Thank you for putting your seatbelt on, by the way.” He says, starting to pull out from your driveway.

“With this friend group, no one goes anywhere without it on.” 

“I know, but I DD for the frat parties and you would not believe how hard it is to get drunk frat boys to put their seat belts on.” 

You chuckle. “I could guess.” There’s a pause as you consider your next words. “You know, I always forget you’re in a frat because you don’t act like a typical frat bro.” 

He turn his head, half towards you, still keeping his eyes on the road. “Oh yeah? Why is that?” 

You shrug. “I don’t know. Frat bros are certain type of people like...” You trail off, searching for how to describe the guys he hang out with without also insulting the people he’s around so often. 

“Like Eli?” He asks, a smile growing on his face. 

“Yeah.” You breathe out, returning his smile. “Like Eli.” 

“I’m kind of annoyed at him at the moment, so you can talk shit, it’s okay. I know you don’t like him.” 

“Bailey doesn’t like him.” You correct. “I really don’t mind him. I know you guys are best buds. Why’re you annoyed?” 

He grumbles as the two of you pull into the McDonald’s parking lot. “I’m annoyed with all of them. You missed the packing disaster that happened last night, but to make a long story short, Tommy ended up having to drive and didn’t want to drive alone. It would’ve made sense for him to just come grab you and have the two of you drive in his truck since Eli and I live together, and I could’ve driven us but no, you were too far from Tommy’s and Eli wanted to hangout with Tommy and drive with him so somehow Eli ended up spending the night at Tommy’s and now we’re here.”

“So the short version is our friends are pains in the asses?”  

He chuckles, turning to look at you as he pulls into the drive-thru line. “Pretty much. What do you want?” 

-

You shift in your seat, trying to get a better look at the place as Bradley pulls into the driveway. “Bailey and Madison did good.” 

“How the fuck did they beat us here?” 

You pull your gaze from the small but cozy-looking cabin, to where Bradley’s eyeing the other cars in the driveway. Sure enough, there’s Tommy’s truck and Madison’s white Chevrolet SUV that somehow always felt larger than necessary. You shrug. “I don’t know, we did stop for McDonald’s.” 

“Yeah, but when have you ever known our friends to leave on time?” 

You tilt your head in acknowledgement of his question. “True.” 

The two of you climb out of the car, Bradley grabbing the bags out of the back as you trek up the driveway. The front door opens before you can even knock, revealing a grinning Bailey. 

“You guys finally made it! Bradley, the boys are upstairs, if you wanna take y’alls stuff up there.” She grabs your wrist, already moving you towards the kitchen. “Let me give you the full tour.”

The cabin is two-stories, with a small kitchen and a dining table just big enough to fit all six of you. She shows you the back area of the house from the French doors in the kitchen, where there’s a wonderful lake view and a fire pit. There's a smaller living room, with a loveseat and a recliner in front of a fireplace. She takes you up the stairs, where you realize with a sinking heart that there’s only three bedrooms. 

“So this is the master, which is mine and Madison’s, because Madison planned the trip and I found this place. That’s Eli and Tommy’s room down the hall, with the two twin beds. Which means...” 

“I’ll be sharing a bed with Bradley.” You sigh. The bed isn’t very big, a double if you had to guess. 

Fuck. 

You turn slightly, shooting Bailey a look. “You did this on purpose.” You whisper as the boys emerge from the room down the hall. 

She sighs shaking her head. “No, we weren’t expecting Eli to be such a pain in the ass about the sleeping arrangements.” 

You raise an eyebrow, doubting her words. “Really?” 

“Yeah, really Bailey?” Madison asks, appearing over Bailey’s shoulder. “He’s the reason we’re in a cabin and not camping camping.” 

“There’s dirt!” Eli shrieks as Bradley wedges himself in the doorway, realizing what the three of you are discussing. He gives you a brief glance, offering you a nervous smile. 

“We’ll make it work. Only four nights right?”

-

You glance up from your book but quickly pull your attention back down once you catch sight of Bradley in nothing but his boxers.  

He was trying to kill you, you were convinced of it. 

Your eyes remained firmly planted on the page, even though they aren’t absorbing any of the words, becoming a blurry mess as you focus really hard on not looking back up to see practically naked Bradley. He flops down on the bed, only shifting up to turn the lights off, flooding the room in pitch-black darkness. 

“Goodnight Sunshine.” He mutters, rolling over on the bed to have his back facing you. 

“Hey, I was reading!” You protest, fumbling on your side of the bed for the switch to your lamp. 

“Stop studying, we’re on spring break.” He says, hand blindly reaching out to grab the book out of your hand. He rolls over to put it on his nightstand with a rather loud thump. 

You gape at the faint outline of his figure, barely illuminated by the light under the crack of the door. “You’re a pain in my ass. I won’t even know where I stopped. ” 

“Yes, you will, because you always write in your books. Go to sleep.” 

You huff, but comply, setting the pen you are in fact holding on your nightstand and pulling the covers over you as you roll to have your back face his. You shut your eyes, listening to the only sound in the house of Tommy washing the dishes downstairs. 

It’s not long after that the light downstairs and in the hallway gets shut off, Tommy being the last one up and apparently going to bed for the night. The room does become pitch-black, the house falling silent. 

You aren’t sure how long you lay there, eyes squeezed shut as sleep continuously escapes you. 

All of the sudden, Bradley lets out a loud snore, causing you to jump. You shift up, looking over to him. As your eyes have adjusted to the dark, you see the faint outline of his chest rising and falling continuously. You let out a soft groan, palms of your hands reaching up to press themselves into your eyes. 

It was going to be a long night. 

-

The first thing you realize when you wake up is the fact that you’re abnormally warm. 

It’s March and you’re in a cabin in the middle of the woods. For as much as you had all played with thermostat the night before when the darkness had settled in, and with it the colder temperatures, you hadn’t gotten it to be very warm in the cabin before giving up and going to bed for the night. 

The second thing you register is that there’s a steady weight across your stomach and something tangled in your legs. You slowly let your eyes open, taking in the sunlight filtering in through the blinds, the sound of the coffee maker on downstairs. Tommy must be awake already. 

You turn your head slightly, following the arm thrown around your center. The steady weight is connect to the person next to you who’s...

oh shit. 

You wince, realizing what’s happening. 

Bradley-the-human-furnace-Bradshaw is cuddling you. 

Worse yet, you think he’s still asleep, which means he isn’t conscious of what he’s doing. At all. 

That’s what you tell yourself as you begin to panic, unsure of what to do. Did you wake him up? Did you tell him to get off of you?

You had to admit that it was nice, the way he was holding you. The way his arms around you made you feel protected. Safe. It felt a little like being home, if you were honest. 

You’d never felt that before. 

You take a deep breath to center yourself, remembering that you and Bradley weren’t even friends. You were just two people who knew each other because of a mutual friend group. You were just two people who’d been invited on this camping trip and got stuck sharing a bed together. 

It meant nothing. He didn’t mean anything by it. 

He stirs, shifting slightly on the bed. You quickly turn your head, trying to ignore the way he’d looked with the golden rays dancing on his skin, squeezing your eyes shut. 

Maybe you could pretend you were still asleep and the two of you would never have to talk about this and could pretend it never happened. 

Yeah, that was a good plan. 

He shifts, arm tightening around your middle as he rolls closer. You can practically feel his breath on the crook of your neck. “Morning Sunshine.” 

The words take your breath clean from your throat as you tense, willing yourself to be very still. Maybe he thinks you’re still asleep. 

“I know you’re not asleep.” The smile is clear in his voice and you move your head a little, looking back at him, swallowing when you realize how close he is. How good he looks in the morning. 

“Hi.” You whisper. 

“Hey.” He says, but then pulls his arm back, untangling his legs from yours. You instantly feel cold. “Sorry about that. I’ve been told I’m a cuddler in my sleep. Probably should’ve warned you.” 

“It’s fine.” You say, the words physically painful to squeeze out. He sits up, comforter falling around his hips to reveal his naked chest that is bathed in golden sunlight. You turn back around, squeezing your eyes shut once more at the sight of him. 

“What are we doing today, do you remember?” 

“Um.” You swallow, throat scratchy. “I think we’re going hiking I think Madison said.”

Behind you, you can feel him move off the bed, his weight disappearing. You can hear him move around the room, walking to where his bag is sat and unzipping it. “Sounds good. I’m gonna get changed. See you downstairs.” 

“Yeah.” 

You hold your breath until you hear the bedroom door click shut, and then begin to count backwards from 20 by 2s as you try to regulate your breathing. 

Then you sit up, not bothering to grab clothes to change into as you dart out of the room and down the hall, grabbing Bailey’s arm as she steps out of her room. Her eyes scan your face, searching for a sign of something being wrong. 

“What? Is everything okay?” She asks. The two of you are squeezed in the doorway as Madison stands on the other side in the room, listening to the conversation. 

“I woke up to Bradley cuddling me.” You mumble, eyes flickering to the door of Tommy’s room opening. 

Her frown changes to a smile, growing wider. “Oh yeah? And then what? You two finally bang it out? Have sleepy, cuddly sex?” 

You shoot her a look. “Fuck off that, will you?”

Madison snickers, causing you to also toss her a withering look. 

“Whatcha girls talking about over there?” Eli calls, Bradley appearing over his shoulder. 

“The stick up your ass.” Bailey calls back, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into the room, slamming the door shut behind you. 

“Smooth, B.” Madison mutters. 

Bailey ignores Madison, turning to face you with her hands on her hips. “Tell me everything. Now.” 

You faceplant on the bed with a groan. “There’s nothing to tell. I woke up to him cuddling me in his sleep and then he said ‘Sorry, I’m a cuddler in my sleep’ and then got up and left.”

The words are muffled into the comforter of the bed as your legs dangle off the side. It goes quiet in the room and you almost wonder if they didn’t hear you. Finally, you lift your had, pushing yourself into a seated position as you bring your legs to sit criss-cross. 

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to be normal around him now. He literally wears nothing but his underwear to bed. I just have to look at him like that after he cuddled me in his sleep and somehow be normal?” 

“So don’t.” Bailey says with a simple shrug. “Grow a pair and tell him. Tell him that you have a huge raging crush on him and then bang it out and become the world’s cutest couple so the rest of us can stop doing this dance with the two of you.” 

“You don’t have to sleep with him, like that.” Madison adds, sitting down on the bed. “But you should tell him how you feel about him.” 

You groan again, moving to face-plant once more into the comforter but Madison’s hand shoots out, keeping you upright. “He doesn’t like me back, I told you that.” 

“You’re the only one who thinks that.” Madison says firmly, giving you a little push so you’re upright. 

“Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.” Bailey says flatly with an eyebrow raised. 

“It’s not denial, Bails. He doesn’t like me like that. I don’t even think he’s sees us as friends. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m annoying.” 

She snorts, rolling her eyes. “You’re impossible.” She says, turning around to the door. 

“Will one of you switch rooms with me, please?” You beg, turning to Madison first, knowing that if anyone will switch with you, it will be her. Her eyes flicker over to Bailey, who shakes her head. 

“Do you honestly think any of the other guys would’ve accidentally cuddled you in their sleep?” 

You shrug. “I don’t know, he did say this is normal for him.” 

Bailey sighs, taking another step back closer to the door. “I don’t think he’s the only one making excuses.” 

“What does that mean?” 

She ignores the question, hand on the doorknob. “Give it one more night and if you’re still uncomfortable, you and I will switch.” She opens the door, slipping out into the hallway. 

Madison squeezes your shoulder. “Tommy just made us a pot of coffee. Do you want me to pour you a cup while you get dressed?” 

You look down, realizing you’re still in pajamas. “Yeah, that’d be great.” 

She nods standing up from the bed, as you fall backwards on the bed, the heels of your hands once again coming to press into your eyes. 

You were so screwed. 

-

You squint, the bright sun overhead filtering in through the trees as the sounds of your friends yelling at each other causes the birds to fly away from the treetops. 

“I told you, we’re lost!” Bailey shouts, throwing her hands up in frustration. “And it’s all your fault, because you ignored Madison and said you knew where you were going!” 

“I do know where we’re going! I’ve made this hike a hundred times!” Eli shouts back. 

“Okay, both of you, cut it out. Bickering isn’t going to change the fact that we’re standing on the edge of a cliff.” Tommy said, wedging himself between Bailey and Eli. 

“I’ll push him off the edge of the cliff.” Bailey says, hands moving to her hips a she stares daggers down at Eli. 

“You’re a bitch.” Eli shoots, causing Bradley’s head to fly up from where he’s watching you kick a rock. 

“Hey!” He shouts. “Uh uh, we don’t talk about women like that.” 

“Don’t bother Bradshaw, I take pride in being called a bitch. “ Bailey says smugly. 

“Oh, of course you do.” Eli snarks, rolling his eyes. 

“Where the fuck is Madison going?” You mutter, watching her disappear off the trail and into the bushes. 

“The right way probably.” Bradley mutters back. 

“Should we follow her?” 

He tilts his head in consideration of your question. “We could. Or, hear me out-” He says, holding his hands out. “-we could go back to the cabin and play cards.” 

You bite your lip, nervous about the prospect of being all alone with him since this morning, but one look back to Tommy keeping Bailey and Eli form ripping each other’s throats out is enough to have you nodding. 

“Done deal, Bradshaw. Lead the way.” 

The two of you walk down the path from which you came, the shouting and bickering of your friends slowly tapering off into the distance. It’s quiet for a minute as you follow his footsteps, crunching over the leaves and dirt along the trail. 

“So... you excited about graduating?” 

He shrugs, pulling back to fall in step with you. “Kind of. This trip is making it all sort of real for me you know? This is the last time it’ll ever be like this.”

“Any grand post-grad plans?” 

“I’m enlisting.” Your head flies up at the words. 

“You- wait, you really are?” 

He nods, offering you nervous smile. “Yeah, I sent in my paperwork the morning I came to pick you up. I’ll have a better idea in a little while of where I’ll be going in a few weeks, but it’s happening, pretty much straight away.” 

“Wow.” You mutter. 

On the one hand, you’re thrilled for Bradley to get everything he's ever wanted. For as long as you known him, the Navy was the dream. Everything he’s worked for would soon be coming into fruition for him. 

On the other hand, you’re terrified. Terrified you may never hear from him again, that Bradley Bradshaw may become nothing more than a memory to everybody who’s ever known or loved him. 

Because that was it, wasn’t it?

To know Bradley Bradshaw was to love him. 

And maybe that didn’t scare you as much as it should’ve, the thought that you might be in love with this boy. 

But what did scare you was what could happen to one of the kindest human beings you’d ever met. 

He catches your look, reaching out to gently nudge your shoulder. “Hey now, don’t worry Sunshine. I’ll be as safe as can be.” You offer him a smile, nodding. “So what about you? Going anywhere fun for the summer? Tom and Bailey mentioned something about you going to D.C.?”  

You shake your head. “Nah, nowhere fun. The D.C. trip kind of fell through and I couldn’t really afford it to begin with. I decided to renew the lease on my house with my roommate. I’ll just be working. Maybe doing research if my proposal gets approved.” 

His face brightens. “Hey, that’s great Sunshine! You get paid for that?” 

You nod. “Through the school, yeah. And that’s if they accept me.” 

“I have no doubt in my mind that they will.” He sighs, looking at you before biting his lip. “Hey Sunshine, about this morning, if I made you uncomfortable or-”

You shake your head. “No! No, I-” You cut yourself off, unsure of what to say to assure him that it wasn’t him, it was you. 

“I just wanted to apologize in case I made you uncomfortable. That’s the last thing I would want to do.” 

You take a shuddering breath at how kind he is, the way it makes your heart do silly little things, like want to reach over and kiss him, before you can bring yourself to respond. “Nope, you’re all good Bradshaw.” You say, forcing a smile. 

And you'd make it be good. 

-

“Sunshine, what are you doing?” 

You look up from where you’re setting up the pillows to Bradley, who’s just walked through the door. He’s wearing sweatpants tonight (albeit still no shirt) but you’re grateful nonetheless because maybe with pants on you’ll be able to maintain some semblance of normality around him. 

Kind of.

“Sunshine?” He asks again and you shake your head, looking back down at the decorative pillows you’d grabbed from the loveseat earlier. 

“I’m building a pillow wall. So that way we, you know, both get our own side of the bed, and there’s no accidental cuddling or anything.” 

He clears his throat awkwardly, an unusual blush rising on his cheeks. “Sunshine, I told you I was sorry about that.” 

You shrug. “And I told you it was fine. But problem solved.” 

Really, truly, honestly - it was boundary for you and you alone. You were afraid that if you woke up one more time to him cuddling you in nothing but his underwear, you do something stupid. Like kiss him or tell him about your stupid crush on him. 

Still, his jaw tenses, his hand twitching at his side. The two of you stand in awkward silence for a minute before he finally sighs. “Okay. Whatever you want.”

He walks the few paces towards the bed and then climbs in, pulling the covers all the way up to his chin, leaving you to get the lights. You sigh, walking towards the door and flicking them off. You walk around the bed to climb in on your side, curling up all the way at the very edge of the bed. 

The tension hangs in the room, his body stiff. You wait for him to tell you goodnight like he had the night before but he says nothing. 

It’s not long that the two of you are laying there before a loud cheer erupts from downstairs. 

Your friends had long passed the line between tipsy into drunk and both you and Bradley had tapped out when they started creeping into drunkenly obnoxious territory. 

“What the fuck are they doing down there?’ You ask, shifting slightly to look back towards the door. 

He grunts.

“Sorry.” You whisper, turning back around. “Good night Bradley.” 

“Night.” 

-

When Bradley wakes up, you’re all too aware of it, having tossed and turned all night long. You were surprised he didn’t kick you out of the bed from how much you had rolled around, although you’d tried to sit very still for as long as possible. 

At one point you even went to the bathroom just to sit so as not to bother him. Unfortunately, Eli came in not long after to puke so the reprieve was short-lived. 

A quick glance at the digital clock on the nightstand next to you tells you it’s only 6:10 am, far too early for Bradley to be up, and much less any of your friends who are definitely going to have hangovers. You shift slightly, watching as he sits up, pulling the comforter off of him. 

He gently pushes himself off the bed and softly pads towards the door, shutting it behind him with a gentle click. You hold your breath, waiting for him to return to the room, thinking he’s just peeing, but it’s only when you realize it’s 6:31 am that he’s not coming back. 

You groan, rolling back over as an ache settles in your chest. 

Maybe now you’d finally be able to get some sleep. 

-

When you’re awoken again, it’s to the sound of the door opening and someone saying your name. You groan, rolling over to the offender. You’re greeted by the sight of Bailey standing there with the door wide open. 

“Good. You’re alive.” 

“The fuck do you want?” You say through a yawn, a quick glance to the clock showing you it’s 11:17 am. 

“Everyone minus Madison is downstairs eating breakfast and then we’re all going to the lake.” 

“Where’s Madison?” You ask, not moving from the bed. 

“Violently hungover. Eli quote ‘puked and rallied’, but Tommy and I can hold our alcohol. We also had way less to drink than the other two.” 

You hum, but still make no move to get off the bed. She nods her head towards the downstairs. “C’mon, up and at ‘em.” 

“Can’t I join you guys later? I didn’t sleep very good last night.” 

Her eyes skim over the pillows next to you. “I can imagine, what with the great pillow wall of Lake Shenandoah. That Bradshaw’s idea?” 

“Mine.” 

She blows out a breath. “Explains why he was up at the ass crack of dawn. Even beat Tommy up. C’mon, he made sure we saved you some breakfast and a cup of coffee.” 

With a final groan, you push yourself off the bed and follow her into the hallway and down the stairs. The boys grin at the sight of you, Bradley even offering you a small smile over the rim of his coffee cup. 

“Hey sleeping beauty, thanks for joining us here in the land of the living.” Tommy teases. 

“Good afternoon.” Eli says, a smirk on his face. Your eyes flicker to the time on the oven (11:21 am) and then back to Eli’s face. 

“Fuck off, it’s not even noon yet.” 

“Practically could be.” 

“Good morning.” Bradley says softly as you approach the stove, picking up the coffee cup that’s sitting next to him. “Here, I save you the last cup of coffee although I wasn’t sure what you liked in it. And I made sure we saved you some breakfast: eggs, bacon, and hashbrowns. There’s also toast.” 

You don’t even have the heart to tell him that Bailey had already told you all of this, what with the way he’s looking at you so genuinely, so earnestly. “Thank you Bradley, really.”

Tommy clears his throat, standing up from the table. “Alright well, I’m ready to go down to the lake, if everybody else is.” There’s muttered agreement, your friends moving from their various places in the space. 

“You’ll come down and join us when you’re ready, right?” Bradley says, a little concern filtering into his tone. You muster up a smile, hands wrapping tighter around the coffee mug. 

“Will do Bradshaw.” 

You watch them from the window for the next hour, puttering around the kitchen as you clean up the dishes from breakfast. It’s the least you can do considering everyone else cooked. 

You were definitely not stalling, suddenly nervous to go outside to the lake in a bathing suit with all the boys, knowing they’d be looking at you. 

You still couldn’t forget the way Noah’s eyes had roamed over your body, saying it might be a little too much. 

That you were a little too much. 

You shake your head, squeezing your eyes shut as you braced yourself against the counter. 

You didn’t do that anymore. You hadn’t done that in months. They were your friends and they’d never make you feel small or uncomfortable or-

ugly. unwanted.

You’d packed both bathing suits you own, one more risqué than the other. Both were one-pieces, easy to cover-up in, but the words you ex-boyfriend had said to you about the one that showed off your chest and had an open back lingered in your mind, reassuring you that the simple suit was the much better option. 

You pull your hair back, sighing as you try to work up the nerve to go downstairs and outside. 

“Hey.” 

You turn, seeing Madison in the doorway. “Hey. You don’t look as awful as I thought you would.” 

She shrugs, leaning up against the doorway. “I think if I went outside, I’d throw up. But other than that, I’m definitely feeling better than I was at 9 am. Cute suit.” 

You look down, adjusting the strap of the blue-green clothing. “Thanks.” 

“I still like the red one better though.” 

“Yeah?” You ask, your teeth catching your bottom lip. 

She nods. “Yeah, I like the back on it and I think the color suits you a lot more.” 

“Should I change?” You ask, turning back around to look at yourself in the mirror. 

She shrugs. “Up to you. I’m going back to my cave of darkness.” 

You sigh, turning back towards your room to change into the other suit. 

You’d packed shorts and a t-shirt to go over the suit in case you did get insecure (you knew you would) and well- no one said you had to get in the lake, right?

You groan as you pause at the doors, suddenly wanting to turn around, go back to the bedroom, slip under the covers and hide. 

Because Bailey was Bailey. She had always reminded how pretty you were even when you couldn’t see it. 

And Tommy was Tommy. He saw you as a little sister, someone he could goof around with and build Legos with. 

And Eli could choke. 

But Bradley? 

It was important to you what Bradley thought of you. Especially in a bathing suit, because apparently you were twelve again, wanting the approval of the boys at the pool party.

You sigh as you slip out the French doors and out across the grass to where the group is located. Tommy’s a ways out, disappearing beneath the waves with every passing moment, brunette curls sticking his face. Bailey and Eli are stood on the edge of the shore, bickering. 

And there’s Bradley, sat in a camping chair, beer in hand. 

“Hey.” 

He looks up at you, face squinting from the bright sun overhead. “Hey. Why aren’t you changed?” 

You glance down at the t-shirt from your high school with the word S E N I O R S spelled out like the Friends logo. “Oh, I did, but I figured the lake might be cold...”

You can’t help but let your eyes roam over his body, the way his tan skin looks in the sunlight of the day. Where his once-wet curls are slowly drying, curling more than usual, especially around the nape of his neck. You can’t help but wonder what it would feel like to reach out and run your fingers through them. 

“It’s not that cold, honestly.” 

You nod absentmindedly, watching as Tommy swims closer to shore. You bite your lip as Tommy hoists himself up on the deck that sits out over the lake. 

These were your friends, but even you weren’t blind to the fact that they were all a great-looking group of people. And they’d never make you feel small. But it was hard not to feel insecure standing next to guys and girls who got everyone they wanted, Bradley included. 

“You coming back out Bradshaw?” Tommy calls. He looks up to you, pulling his sunglasses off. 

“Depends. You gonna join us?” 

You blow out a breath. “Yeah, I guess I could come sit for a little while.” 

The two of you head down towards the dock, as you try to remind yourself that it doesn’t matter what Bradley Bradshaw thinks of you in a bathing suit. You woke up to him cuddling you the other day; how could it get any worse?

You follow him down towards the lack, the grass beneath your feet tickling slightly. 

Memories of summers spent in your back yard, running through the hose with your siblings, flash through your brain. The nostalgic ache for the familiar itch of grass on your bare legs and laughter settles in your chest as you watch Bradley cannon ball into the lake with Eli.  

You swallow as Bailey tugs your arm, dragging you further on to the deck. “C’mon, get in the water with me.” 

“Um-” You say, eyes flickering back over to the boys, Tommy diving into the water and popping up next to Eli and Bradley. “What if they say something about-”

You cut yourself off, unable to bring yourself to say the words, but you know she understands anyways. 

She raises an eyebrow, giving you an unimpressed look. “I’ll cut their dicks off if they do.” 

The words punch a laugh out of you, some of your nerves going with it. You had known Bailey long enough to know that that was a threat she’d follow through on. 

You shake your head, already reaching to pull your shirt off. “Okay, okay.” You pull your shorts off, walking further down the deck with Bailey by your side as the boys attention drifts to you. 

It takes everything in you not to shrink back as you watch Bradley’s eyes go wide. Eli catches the moment, whispering something only him and Tommy can hear, causing Bradley to punch his shoulder before tipping his head back into the water. 

Your mouth suddenly tastes sour, your self-consciousness rising through your stomach and up into your throat as you near the edge of the deck, realizing they’re all watching you. 

It almost makes you want to turn around and go back into the house, but you don’t get a chance as Bailey is grabbing your hand. “On the count of three, okay?” 

“Wait-”

“One.”

“No, Bailey-” 

“Two.” 

“I don’t want to-”

“Three!” She shouts, leaving you with no choice but to jump with her for fear of being tugged off the deck if you didn't.

The water is cold against your skin as you preemptively scrunch up your face, hoping to keep the water out of your eyes. 

You gasp for breath you break the surface, hair already clinging to your back as you blink, searching for your friends. 

A splash of water catches your attention, causing you to turn your head. It’s Bailey, popping up after you. “That was fun.” 

“For one of us.” 

She lets out a little laugh, offering you a shrug. It’s quiet for a minute as the two of you try to catch your breath before she nods towards the boys, signaling to head over to them. “Thanks for joining us on this trip.” 

You nod as the two of you move towards the boys. “Thanks for inviting me.” 

“We’re happy to have you here.” 

-

A few hours later, you watch the sun begin to set in the distance, the orange hues settling across the lake in ripples. You take a deep breath as you admire the view, the distant conversation not even distracting you. 

Until there’s a particularly loud splash of water. 

You turn, spotting Eli swim away from Bailey as fast as he can. 

Bradley floats over to you as you watch Bailey try to shove Eli under the water as she catches up to him. “Hey, your strap is all twisted.” He says, pointing to the top of your suit. 

You look down, realizing it’s twisted all the way to the back. “Oh shit. Do you think you could untwist it for me? I don’t think I’ll be able to get it.” 

He nods, swimming a little bit closer to reach out for your shoulder. “It’s a nice suit, by the way.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, the color looks good on you.” He says, pulling away and offering you a small smirk.

You think your cheeks are as red as the suit adorning your body. 

-

You pad down the stairs, wet hair falling over your shoulder where the water seeps into your UVA t-shirt. Bradley’s alone in the kitchen, cooking dinner. He looks up at the noise, smiling at the sight of you. “Hey.” 

“Smells good.” You say, walking further into the kitchen. He nods. 

“Yeah, I wanted to do something a little bit more involved for dinner tonight since I’m pretty sure I’m the only one in our friend group who can actually cook besides Madison and she’s still hungover.” 

“You want help?” 

“Actually, yeah, could you help me cut the bell peppers? It would really speed things along.” You nod, taking the knife from him, even though you have no idea what the proper way way to slice a bell pepper is.

It couldn’t be that hard, right?

You stand there, examining the vegetable in your hand as you debate the best way to approach this, desperately wanting to not fuck it up. 

“You know what you’re doing there?” He asks, eyebrows raised. You point the knife at him. 

“Hey, I might not have the cooking skills of Madison but I think I can figure out how to cut a bell pepper.” 

There’s a pause as he stares at you. “You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?” 

“Absolutely not.” 

He chuckles, shaking his head. “Here, I’ll show you.” His voice is void of a condescending tone, which you appreciate. 

He takes one of your hands, curling your fingers inward. “See, you always want to have your fingers curled inward, otherwise you run the risk of chopping your fingers off.” You nod as he takes the hand, setting it on the bell pepper while the other hand guides the hand the knife is in. “You’re just gonna cut the bottom and top off like this.” He says, demonstrating the movements. 

His skin feels warm against yours as you desperately try not to lean into him, his chest pressed against your back. “Where’d you learn how to cook Bradshaw?” 

The question is meant to be teasing but your tone ends up being more genuine as you feel him chuckle, chest vibrating. “My Mom. She always made me help her cook growing up. It was a way for us to bond. Food kind of brought us together, I guess.” 

“She sounds like she’s a great woman.” You whisper, tilting your head just enough to look in his yes. 

A flash of pain crosses his face, even as he returns your smile. “She was.” he says softly. “I wish you could’ve met her. She would’ve loved you.” 

You swallow, realizing how close the two of you are. How vulnerable he’s being and how much you just want to reach up and-

He clears his throat, ducking his head. “Anyways, um, you just cut the inside pieces of like this and then cut it into slices.” 

You nod, blinking at the sudden change in tone and body language, the wya he had rushed walking you through the second half of the process. “Alright, thanks.” 

He gives you a small smile, stepping out of your space. “No problem.” 

The two of you work alongside each other, the only sound coming from Bradley humming to the ABBA songs playing from the small speaker in the corner of the kitchen. As you cut the bell peppers, you think about the way Bradley hasn’t called you Sunshine since before “the great wall of Lake Shenandoah” as Bailey insisted on calling it, the way he’d made sure to keep his distance. 

In an effort to keep yourself under control, you’d somehow managed to make things worse.

Yet, he’d still saved you breakfast and was teaching you how to cut bell peppers. The kindness in his eyes whenever he looked at you made your chest ache, and honestly all you wanted to do was to make things not be weird. 

“Hey, do you think you could-” 

“Bradley, I’m sorry I made things weird or like- awkward between us.” 

He pauses from where he’s fiddling with he stove, eyes going wide. “What?”

You sigh, gaze dropping down to the knife sitting on the cutting board. “I’m sorry if my- my stupid pillow wall made things weird between us.” 

He shrugs, turning back to the stove. “We’re good.” 

“We’re not good. You haven’t called me Sunshine since before our walk back to the cabin yesterday after the failed hike and I don’t know- it feels a little strange.” 

He huffs out a breath, keeping his back turned to you. “Fine, Sunshine, there we go, easy fix. Can you please get the sour cream and cheese from the fridge?” 

You comply, setting the food on the counter before you walk over to him, standing next to him in front of the tiny stove space. “Bradley-” 

He sighs, keeping his eyes trained firmly on the cooking chicken and veggies. “Sunshine, I just- The last thing I ever want to do is make you feel uncomfortable. I know it’s not any of my business, but I know Noah wasn’t-” He pauses, jabbing at the mixture in the pan. “I know Noah wasn’t good to you and the last thing I want to do to is put you in a position to feel like you have to put up with a man who makes you uncomfortable for the sake of your friends, like you did with him.” 

Despite yourself, you let out a little laugh. “Bradley, what?” 

“It’s not funny.” 

“I mean, it is, honestly. It’s laughable because you and Noah aren’t even in the same stratosphere of human beings-” He shoots you a look, cutting off the laughter bubbling out of you. “Oh, Bradley, c’mon I’m serious. You’re actually a good person, not like him who was just born as an asshole.”

“Sunshine, I’m serious.” 

You feel like you forget how to breathe with the way he’s looking at you, suddenly ignoring the cooking food. 

“Okay, I-” You pause, trying to take a deep breath. “Bradley, I didn’t keep him around because of my friends.”

“Yeah? Not even after he dumped you and broke your heart?” He asks, frowning.

You bite your lip, looking down to the browning veggies. “I- Yeah, okay I did. But I- if you made me uncomfortable, especially like he did, I never would’ve agreed to come on this trip, much less share a bed with you.”

He turns the stove off wordlessly, pulling the food as he sets it to the side before turning to look you in the eye. “You promise?” 

You sigh, stepping forward to rest your hands on his biceps. “I promise.” 

-

You can hear the laughter echo from the cabin, all the way by the French doors as you slip out, Madison offering you a thumbs up and Bailey and Tommy giving you all-knowing grins. 

You roll your eyes, pulling your jacket around you tighter as you lightly pad down the steps and across the grass to the fire pit where Eli and Bradley sit. You can hear the low mutter of their conversation as you approach, almost making you second-guess yourself. 

“Sorry, am I interrupting?” 

Both boys turn in their chairs to face you. Eli offers you a small smile, shaking his head. “Not at all Sunshine.” His voice is teasing, the nickname sounding strange coming from someone who wasn’t Bradley. “I was just headed back inside.” 

You nod, taking Eli’s place next to Bradley as he passes by you, walking back towards the cabin. Bradley doesn’t say anything, just kicks his feet up to sit on the edge of the fire pit. The only sounds come from the birds above and the crackling of the fire in front of you. 

“You know what I like about us?” 

You hum, eyes still watching the flames dance in front of you. 

“I like that no matter what, we can always sit in silence together and it not weird or awkward, it’s just comfortable. I can just be.” 

You lift your head to smile at him. There’s another pause as he opens another beer from the cooler by his feet. 

“Can I ask you a question?” 

He nods, taking a sip of his drink. “Anything, Sunshine.” 

“Why are you so fond of Eli?” 

He raises an eyebrow, tilting his head at the question, and lets out a little chuckle, almost nervous. “I’m gonna tell you a story, Sunshine, and it’s not one that I tell very many people.” 

You nod, keeping eye contact with him. “I’m listening.” 

You almost think he whispers “I know.” under his breath before he sighs, shifting to rest his arms on his knees. “When I came to UVA, I was in a pretty dark place. I’d just-” He cuts himself off, mouth beginning to frown. “I’d just been dealing with a lot of family issues and personal stuff. Which is vague, I know. Um- to save you the pain of listening to my issues, I can sum it up with the fact that my Mom had just died, just before my senior year. I was alone and on my own and I knew it. But uhm- there was that kid on the first day of Spanish 1, my partner for the icebreakers. And I didn’t want to share or really even talk to this kid, but there was just- No matter how upset I was, he just- man Sunshine he just kept making me laugh.” 

He pauses as he takes a sip of his beer. “Those are the best kinds of friendships.” You whisper. 

He nods. “They are. They’re my favorite kind. But-” He says, tilting his head again in acknowledgement of his words. “I get that he’s not like that with everyone. We gelled from the very beginning and I’ve never thought twice about him. His family has welcomed me into their home and their vacations, into their lives and love. He’s always had my back, no questions asked. But he’s a dick to a lot of people and I do know that.” He takes a deep breath, shifting on his chair. “He’s a dick to you, and I know that.”

You shift on your chair, suddenly uncomfortable with the way this conversation is going. “I didn’t mean to make this about how he treats me-”

Bradley shakes his head, cutting you off. “It’s not a justification but- Eli’s family, they come from old money. And I mean like, old money. And the way he was raised- the sheer competition to be better, always better, it bleeds into who he is as an adult. He likes people who can challenge him—I think it’s why he keeps going back to Bailey despite all the bickering—but I think in all the worst ways possible, you remind him of his sister. Younger and yet somehow always better. Always destined for more.” 

Your cheeks warm at his words, watching him lean back in his chair. “He’s a good person at his core. He knows when people are in need and he does his best to help them. But—and again, this isn’t to excuse or justify it—it doesn’t change the fact that you’re brilliant Sunshine. You have the whole world at your feet and we all know it. And for whatever Eli ends up doing, he knows that you will do more.”

-

You rub your lips together as you snap the lid on the chapstick shut. You take one last look at yourself in the mirror, your UVA sweatshirt pulled on with a pair of old sweats before flicking the light off. 

You move to open the door, to head back downstairs and outside to join all your friends at the fire pit , when you hear the door down the hall open, the sound of Eli and Bradley arguing following it. 

“-Bradshaw, all I’m saying is that, if you were to have feelings for her, I think you should go for it.” 

You furrow your eyebrows, stepping closer to the door. You felt a bit bad, eavesdropping on their conversation, but the thought Bradley might have a crush on some girl made your stomach churn in the worst ways. 

He wasn’t yours to lose and yet- 

Your train of thought is cut off by the sound of Bradley groaning, his footsteps stopping at the top of the stairs. “Where the fuck is this even coming from, Eli?” 

Eli’s footsteps stop and you hear him sigh. “She’s really good for you Bradley.”

“Okay?” 

“I just think you’d be better off admitting that you have feelings for your Sunshine. Even just to yourself.” 

Your entire body freezes. 

“I don’t like her like that!” Bradley exclaims and you swear your heart stops beating for a minute. 

Distantly, you realize they must think you’re outside with the group, or they’d never be having this conversation with you near. 

“You’re fucking impossible Bradley, you know that? Sunshine is halfway in love with you and you won’t even entertain the possibility of it?” 

“Entertain it? I don’t like her like that. She’s my friend.”

Eli snorts. “Sure, keep fucking tell yourself that Bradshaw. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.” 

The words trigger a memory, words Bailey had said to you at the very beginning of the trip. 

Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt. 

Horror and embarrassment floods over you as you realize they had set you up. They’d taken your crush on Bradley and had set you up.

The whole trip had been a set up. 

“It’s not denial. I honestly don’t even know if I’d classify her as my friend. I’d say she’s probably more Tommy’s friend than anything.” He says the words so casually, yet you’d been around him long enough to recognize the defensive tone hidden in his words. 

Still, it makes your entire body go cold as you realized you’d been right all along. 

Eli sighs, and then there’s a long pause between them as your heart beats rapidly in your chest, tears pricking at your eyes. 

“Whatever Bradshaw, it’ll be your loss when she’s the one who got away.” 

Bradley splutters but he follows Eli’s footsteps down the stairs. 

You strain your ears for the sound of the French door shutting before you let yourself breath, mind whirring at what had just happened. 

Part of you desperately wants you to believe that this hadn’t been a set-up, something done to embarrass you. That your friends wanted you here, not what they thought you could be for Bradley. 

Part of you wonders if it had all been a joke, a gotcha moment while they laugh at your humiliation. 

You become more horrified as you play the trip back in your head, realizing it wasn’t that Bradley hadn’t wanted to make you uncomfortable.

He didn’t want you to get the wrong idea. 

You begin to feel empty as the words play on repeat in your head, realizing that without a doubt, no matter what you felt for him, Bradley Bradshaw felt nothing for you. 

-

You hear the door to the bedroom open some hours later as you squeeze your eyes shut, clutching the comforter around you tighter as if it can protect you. 

After overhearing Eli and Bradley’s conversation, you had gone back to your room, slipping under the covers as you suppressed your tears. You hadn’t want them to come back into the house and find you in the state you were in. 

Eventually, the emotion had left you, just leaving you emotionally exhausted while unable to sleep. 

“Sunshine?” Comes the whispered voice of Bradley as light floods the room. “You awake?” 

You measure your breathing and he must buy it, because he shuts the door, slipping into the bed next to you, smelling distantly of campfire. 

You resist a shudder, almost instinctively wanting to lean into the smell and roll over and cuddle him. Let him pull you close like he did that first morning. Let him run his fingers through your hair and tell your everything will be okay. 

It’s quiet in the room as you beg sleep to come to you, yet it is painfully out of your reach. Your brain won’t stop replaying the words from earlier, how Bradley had said we’re just friends, but really if anything, she’s Tommy’s friend.

You hear the sheets move as Bradley shifts, rolling from his side to his back. The movement pulls you from your thoughts, forcing you to steady your breath, as you will yourself to be still. “Are you awake?” His voice is barely a whisper, not wanting to wake you if you’re asleep.You can’t be sure, but you almost think you hear his head move to face your back. You bite your lip, wanting to ignore him, but it’s his soft “Sunshine?” that makes your resolve crumble. 

“Yeah.” You finally whisper back. 

“You wanna go look at the stars?” He asks in the same quiet tone. You finally turn, almost rolling over on to his hand that’s splayed out on the sheets. He is looking at you, you note. 

“Yeah.”

You aren’t sure what you’re doing, knowing what was said that night, but there’s some part of you that’s aching to be closer to him. To reassure yourself that you were still friends and maybe, just maybe, there was a sliver of a chance. 

And that was the part that was winning out. 

“Grab a jacket.” He whispers as you slip your shoes on. You slip the jacket around your shoulders, bracing yourself for the cold you know you’ll be stepping out into. You are both quiet walking down the stairs, catching sight of the lights on under both sets of doors. He gently opens the door, holding it open for you. “After you.”

You snort, stepping out into the chilly air of the night. “And they say chivalry is dead.” 

“You wanna go for a walk by the lake?” He asks, shutting the door behind you. 

“Yeah, sure, why not.” 

The night is quiet, the stars twinkling overhead as the two of you walk. 

“Orion was my favorite constellation growing up, probably because it was the only one I could recognize.”

You’re not sure why you’re sharing the information with him, knowing you originally told yourself you’d keep your distance from him. 

He smiles at you. “It was one of the first ones I learned in Boy Scouts.”

“You seem the Boy Scouts type.” 

He snorts. “I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.” 

You shrug one of your shoulders. “It’s just a neutral thing, I think.” 

He nods. “Hey, thanks for coming with us on the trip. It was fun to have you around.” 

You swallow at the words, wanting to tell him he was a liar and he knew it. 

Instead you shrug again. “You know me, just happy to be invited.” 

“I think it’s good for me to be surrounded by good people you know? Especially before I leave in a few months.” 

You hum, not trusting your voice. 

Good people. He meant Tommy. Tommy and Madison. Tommy and Madison and Bailey. Tommy and Madison and Bailey and yes, even Eli. 

You wouldn’t make the mistake of thinking he meant you. 

“Can I admit something?” he says, voice suddenly small. It catches your attention, causing you to look up at him. 

“Of course.” You whisper, stopping to watch him. 

“Is it weird to admit that I’m scared?” He asks, voice a little breathless. 

“Scared... of me?” You ask, furrowing your eyebrows.

“No. No!″ He almost shouts, holding his hands out. “God no, never of you. I’m- It’s gonna sound so stupid.”

“It won’t.” You say firmly. 

“I’m terrified of my future. I- I know I was the one who choose it but- what if I’m not good enough? What if-” He ducks his head, sucking in a breath. “What if this is it? What if this is the best I’m ever gonna get?” 

The wind feels knocked from your chest as you stumble forward, reaching out for him. “Bradley.” You whisper, taking his hand. “Bradley, no.” 

His shrugs, eyes watering. “I’m just scared.” 

You offer him a sad smile squeezing his hand. “I think- I think it’s okay to be scared. You’re doing something scary! Going after your dreams is the most terrifying thing in the world, but if you didn’t, if you never knew, you’d always wonder what if.” 

He sucks in a breath through his teeth, not meeting your eye. “Thanks Sunshine.” 

“Bradley, you deserve the whole world. You are going to accomplish so much and the rest of us are just lucky to know you and your greatness. We’re all better for knowing you.” 

He lets out a choked chuckle, pulling you into a hug before you can even protest. His grip is tight around you and you hesitantly reach up, wrapping your arms around his larger frame. 

You frown into his jacket as you stand there, knowing in your heart that no matter how Bradley Bradshaw feels about you, you will always love him. 

[boopernatural]

could you write a light hearted fic where Joel breaks his ankle and Ellie starts hovering bc she is trying to take care of him but also he's a stubborn bitch who still tries to do things while injured.

“-ve got it!” Joel snaps, shoving through the front door as Ellie trails right on his heels. She’s been glued to him ever since he’d left the clinic with his crutches, watching him like a hawk, demanding he take it easy. He doesn’t know what’s gotten into the kid, why she’s all of a sudden such a damn hawk, but it’s gettin’ on his goddamn nerves.

“You have a broken ankle,” she deadpans, “you’re lucky I didn’t tell Tommy to strap you to a bed at the clinic and just keep you there. You’re a fucking headache.”

“I’m a headache?” he demands as she closes the front door and sets his hunting bag down beside it.

“Yeah you jackass. Your bone is broken. Just sit the fuck down and let me handle shit.” Ellie shoves him lightly toward the couch, insistent, and he obliges. If nothing more, to shut her up for five minutes.

With a pained exhale, he lowers himself to the couch, wincing. He’s too goddamn old for shit like this; the nurse on call at Jackson’s clinic had said it would probably take longer than usual for his body to recover, considering his age and wear and tear. That hadn’t exactly delighted him.

The last thing he wants to do is make Ellie take care of him, again. He still has nightmares about it- hazy and unfocused blurs of memories, fragmented and cold. A stiff, stained mattress on a basement floor, pain so intense that he began to not even feel it after a while, numb limbs and a constant throb in his body. He remembers hearing bits and pieces of her voice; she talked to him the whole time, quiet and concerned and terrified. He’d never felt so helpless, leaving her to save his life, putting her own in so much jeopardy.

He can’t stand the thought of her feeling like she has to do it again. Even here, in the quiet safety of Jackson’s walls, he can’t let her be his protector. That ain’t how this is supposed to work.

“Here.” Ellie’s at his side again, holding out a small vial of medication they’d given him at the clinic. Supposed to help relax him so he doesn’t move too much or get too stiff. They hope it helps the pain too, but most things are homemade salves and tinctures these days, so it’s often a guess.

“M’fine,” he argues.

Ellie scowls. “Joel, take the fucking drugs. They told us you have to.”

“Kid, I’m alright, okay? I’m gonna sit here for a second and then start on that laundry.”

“You’re- no the fuck you’re not!”

“You don’t have to take care of me,” he insists, hoping to reassure her.

“Yes the fuck I do your ankle is broken!” Ellie exhales with frustration and sets the vial down in front of him on the coffee table. “I’m going to finish cleaning up in the kitchen. Don’t touch the laundry.”

Joel glowers in her direction. He ain’t sure when exactly the kid got it in her head that she can tell him what to do, but she’s sorely mistaken on that.

Grunting in pain, Joel shoves himself to his feet, fingers flexed around the crutch. His movement is shaky, weak, but he manages to get himself standing upright. All he has to do is make it up the stairs, grab the laundry, and he’s golden.

Hell, he leveled a hospital full of armed guards by himself. This ain’t nothin’.

Each step hurts, though it’s bearable. He makes it toward the first step and finds his way up. One. Two. Three. He just has to keep going and he’ll be fine. Four. Five.

Fuck-

His ankle gives out and he topples over, scrambling to catch himself before his head smashes into the landing. He somehow manages to break his fall on his shoulder, which sends a ricochet of pain through his body, leaving him strewn out on the steps.

“Joel?” Ellie’s voice calls out in alarm, and before he can figure out a more appeasing way to present himself, she rounds the corner.

“Oh. For fucks sake.” Her hands are on her hips, looking up at him with disdain in her big eyes. She’s shaking her head before he even begins speaking.

“Listen, I-“

“You are so annoying.” Ellie scolds. “Seriously dude, I’m leaving you like this. I told you to stay put.”

He shoots her a glare. “Good. I can get myself up.”

That ain’t likely, but he’d rather dig himself out of this hole than drag her into it with him.

“Oh my god why are you so fucking stubborn?”

Joel’s teeth grit together. “I ain’t stubborn Ellie, I just don’t need your help.”

“Yeah, you’re doing great, half-dead on this staircase.”

With a patient inhale, he replies, “I miscalculated. It happens.”

“Miscalculated. You’re the worst.” She shakes her head again. “Obviously I’m gonna help you up, stupid.” She begins ascending the staircase toward him.

“No!” Joel surprises even himself with the ferocity of his shout, stopping her in her tracks. She looks at him with disbelief written across her face.

“What the fuck?” Ellie demands.

“I-I don’t need you to take care of me,” he stammers, “I’ve got it, kid. It ain’t your job.”

“Joel,” she says patiently, “is that why you’ve been…so annoying? You think you’re like burdening me, or something?”

Her voice is soft, surprisingly gentle for his usually rough kid. He can see the understanding in her eyes, the sympathy.

With a resolute sigh, he responds, “I know how hard it was on you, everything that happened in Colorado-”

Ellie flinches.

“-and I made a promise that you’d never ever have to be in that spot again.” Joel glances down at his ankle with disgust. “I’m not breakin’ my promise.”

For a moment, she studies him, her expression unreadable and ambivalent. She takes her time with whatever quiet debate she’s working on, before exhaling slowly.

“Man, I get it. That was fucked up, back in Colorado. But…it wasn’t your fault, okay? You gotta stop blaming yourself. Shit happened and we dealt with it, both of us. Don’t forget you came chasing after me with a hole in your stomach, dude.”

Joel winces at the memory, eyes still cast down, unable to meet her gaze.

“We’re here to move forward,” she says in a determined, if not a little shaky, voice. “We’re in this together, just like always. That means we look out for one another. Both of us. Let me help you down.”

Giving him no opportunity to argue, Ellie steps up and grabs him under the armpits. With no warning, she heaves him upright with a groan of effort, giving him enough leeway to grab the banister. Together, they right him with his crutches, and she begins walking him down the steps.

With him situated on the sofa, Ellie holds out the vial of medicine. “I’m not asking, I’m telling. Take this shit or I’ll drug your food with it. Believe me.”

Joel believes her. He downs the bitter tasting mix and sits back against the cushions, feeling vulnerable and raw.

“Listen up,” Ellie says, “you’ve looked out for me for the past year. You’ve protected me and taken care of me, given me everything I needed.“

“That’s my job,” he insists.

“Don’t interrupt me, man! It’s my job to look after you too. We’re…we’re like family now, right?”

He doesn’t miss the slight uncertainty in her words at the end. As quickly as he can, he soothes it.

“Yes, of course.”

“Alright then. Stop bitching, sit your crusty old ass down, and let me do the laundry.”

“Crusty?” he demands.

“Yeah, you broke that thing on day two of your overnight patrol. Crusty.” She turns on her heel and heads back for the kitchen, shouting, “I’m making dinner! Hope you like toast!”

“Long as you don’t burn it again!”

“Literally no promises!”

Joel can’t help the smile tugging at his lips as she goes, even though the thought of sitting down while his kid cooks him a meal makes his skin crawl. He reckons she has a point, at the end of the day.

They are family.

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

big dipper

plum, chapter eleven 

a/n: i usually write for this when i’m sad, often also in the middle of the night when i can’t sleep. this part was no exception. 

warnings: Joel Miller x reader, MILD SPOILERS for the last of us (both games and the hbo series), slow burn, age gap (20 years), timeline wise this is set in between the first and second game (so when they live in Jackson), ptsd, alcohol consumption, kissing

word count: 662

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“Well, hello,” bubbled out of you as you spotted Joel walking past your front porch, “funny seeing you here.”

Stopping in his tracks, he glanced up and spotted you leaning against the railing with a breezy smile upon your face, “hi.”

Squinting your eyes at him for a second, you spoke, “I know why I’m not at the party, but why aren’t you?” still hearing the gathering softly in the distance. 

“I actually just came from there,” he tugged his hands into his pockets, his warm breath clear in the night air, “just on my way back.”

“Already? Damn, you must be a lot older than Tommy told me,” you teased, suddenly feeling the deck sway slightly beneath your feet, making your fingers tighten their grip on the railing, “bailing on a party after only an hour.”

Furrowing his brows at you, he asked, “are you drunk?” 

“No,” your light-hearted lie wasn’t convincing at all so you followed it up with, “okay, yeah, I might be a little buzzed.” 

“Right,” he chuckled and twisted to return to his journey home, “just don’t stay out here in the cold too long.”

“Why?” you scoffed through your giggle, halting his footsteps yet again.

“Just because the alcohol feels like it's warming you up, doesn’t mean you won’t get hypothermia. Especially dressed like that.”

“Yeah, yeah,” waving a hand in his direction, you fibbed, “I’ll go back inside in a bit.” 

“Just put on a jacket at least.”

“Nice trick mister,” you chuckled, “but I’m not going inside after my jacket. I know you,” you pointed an accusing finger at him as he suddenly abandoned his original destination and walked up your steps, “you’ll just barricade the door or something as soon as I’m inside,” though when you saw him shrug his own thick coat off and drape it over your frame, your jovial smile fell from you joking lips, “oh, I wasn’t trying to-”

“Just shut up and take it,” he quietly cut off your protest, then rested his forearms against the fence and stared out into the dim town below. 

Blinking at him a second, you eventually gave in, accepting the warm layer, “…thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Slotting in beside him, your eyes soon drifted up to look at the night sky, absentmindedly uttering, “you know, my grandma knew the names of all the different constatations in the sky, told me all about them when I came over as a kid, but somehow, I still only remember the name of big dipper. I mean, I know them, I know every single one of them, just not the names anymore. Funny how things just slip away like that. No matter how hard you fight to remember, it all just ends up being like a dream,” you then dropped your vision to find Joel already looking at you. 

Maybe it was the alcohol at work or maybe it was the months of confusing feelings finally colliding, but the next thing you knew you had leaned in and pressed your lips against his. With the whole world spinning, you felt one of his hands instinctually find purchases on your waist and the other on your cool cheek. But just as quickly as it had happened, that’s how abruptly it ended when Joel suddenly took a tense step back, his fingers still lingering a second long as you blinked up at him in dazed amazement. 

“Plum, I-…” he didn’t move an inch as you briefly saw a look of genuine fear wash over his severe features, “you should probably head off to bed.”

“What?” you sounded out of breath. 

Keep his eyes averted, he dodged, “drink some water, maybe eat a bit so that you don’t feel as bad tomorrow,” slowly backing away and recoiling as if he had just broken a priceless vase.  

Too stunned to run after him, still enveloped in his jacket, you shouted, “Joel!” watching from the porch as he walked away. 

© 2023 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[loudsnapdragon]

BIG MOUTH. Explicit. 35500 words.

College is a fresh start for Steve, and he's trying to be a better person, he really is, but the attempt would be way easier if Jonathan Byers wasn't acting so butthurt all the time.

But then, maybe that's Steve's fault for following Jonathan to his bed every night, and not once, taking the chance to talk about how he really feels.

(excerpt under the cut.)

‘I’ve gotta go.’ Jonathan says, quietly, shoulders sunk down. It reminds Steve of that first time, when he dragged Jonathan from the common room; and Jonathan froze up near the end, like he was bracing himself for the punchline, even though there wasn’t one then; but now, maybe, and it's landing on Steve.

He starts getting dressed, and Steve does too, because he feels too vulnerable asking these questions without his socks on. ‘Was it the phone call thing? Like- that won’t happen again, so don’t worry.’

‘No. No, just, my little brother is visiting tomorrow. I need to tidy my room, need to meet him at the station.’ Jonathan says, staring at his bootlaces as he ties them. ‘His bus arrives pretty early.’

‘Oh. Cool.’ Steve says, annoyed that Jonathan’s lying, because they don’t have much, but they don’t lie to each other, not normally. ‘I didn’t know you had a brother.’

Jonathan nods, does up his zipper and pulls on his suede jacket. Steve sits on the bed, sheets creased and pooling by his bare knees, feeling dumb and embarrassed, but stupidly, he’s not nervous about trying again. ‘You sure you’re okay? Like, with Tommy and everything?’

Jonathan sucks in his lips, like he’s making his expression as small as possible, trying to reveal as little as he can, which only does the opposite. Steve’s not a clever guy, but he can make a guess at an expression like that. He could say goodbye, give Jonathan an easy exit, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t push, but he waits for an answer, waits to hear why Jonathan doesn’t trust him. He isn’t normally difficult like this.

‘I didn’t know you were still friends with Tommy.’ Jonathan says, eventually, carefully cool.

Steve shrugs, lets his hands fall onto the bed. ‘I mean, yeah, we hung out all the time in school. We go to the gym together, and he’s like, the only other guy from Hawkins who goes here, so it’s not like I can ignore him.’

‘What? The only other guy from Hawkins?’ Jonathan says, eyes going steely. ‘What does that make me?’

‘You’re different.’ Steve says, instantly regrets it. ‘Like, you’re different from Tommy, but it’s also like- well, we never hung out in high school, ya’ know? You were always doing your own thing.’

‘My own thing.’ Jonathan repeats, without emotion. ‘That’s what you call it?’

Steve falters, scans over Jonathan’s body before talking next, seeing the way his hand is tightly grasped around the strap of his messenger bag, his nostrils slightly flared. Out of anyone he’s ever met, Jonathan is the hardest person to read. Makes everything strange and quiet. Steve works harder, looking at Jonathan.

He skips a couple steps, maybe, but he tries to say the right thing. ‘Look, you know I’m sorry about how we were in high school.’

Jonathan snorts, ugly, takes a step towards the door. ‘You said sorry.’

‘Yeah, I did, and I mean it dude, I promise.’

‘Yeah, I remember.’ Jonathan seethes, ‘You said sorry, not Tommy, and now you guys go the gym together.’

Steve doesn’t like it, how Jonathan’s turning this into something it doesn’t have to be. Steve apologised, ages ago, a month after moving into dorms, and approximately a week prior to getting over the whole shame-of-liking-dicks conundrum. They bumped into each other at that party, and he got it all out, said everything he’d been rehearsing with Robin days before. He thought they were over this.

He’s not certain if he’s angry because; Jonathan isn’t over it, or because; Jonathan’s so hard to fucking read that he only just realised that Jonathan isn’t over it; whatever reason, he’s angry, and he doesn’t hide it.

‘I’m not Tommy’s fucking babysitter, I can’t make him say shit.’

‘Fuck- fuck…’ Jonathan stutters, going pale, because he gets embarrassed when the stutter comes back. ‘I’m not saying that.’ He pauses, arms holding his sides. ‘I just thought… I thought you weren’t like that. Not like Tommy, anymore.’

‘He’s not that bad.’

‘He is, Steve, he used to be a fucking asshole.’

‘That was high school!’ Steve says, waves his arms, annoyed and pent up. ‘I thought you were over it. You might even like him nowadays if you tried to talk to him.’

Jonathan’s jaw tenses, white veins illuminated by the light from the small lamp. ‘I’m sorry, but if you expect me to ever talk to Tommy, then you’re even dumber than I thought.’

‘Fuck you.’ Steve says, not shouting, but doing a bad job at hiding the hurt. ‘Maybe I should hang out with Tommy more, then, if I’m so dumb.’

Jonathan shakes his head, looks down, moves an inch closer to the bed, ‘no I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-’ but Steve’s not letting him get away with that.

‘I mean it- like we’re actually really similar, me and Tommy, like we listen to the same music, and he actually comes to my swim meets, and he even tries with Robin, more than you do.’ He says, hoping it stings. ‘I don’t, actually, have anything in common with you.’ He shrugs, makes a show of it.

Jonathan is at the door, tilting his head, looking at Steve like he’s shit on his shoe. ‘You’re right, we don’t have anything in common.’

‘Yeah, I’m right.’ Steve says, already losing conviction. ‘We’re not friends. We just have sex.’ And the belief disappears before he’s even finished saying it.

[straight4joekeery]

Teach Me How To Love In Your Own Lyrics

(Part five)

(TWS ⚠️: mentions homophobia and domestic violence; If you want to skip I’ll put blue dots before and after the scene. I’m sorry if there’s any other areas I missed that talk about this!)

Prev. Part one

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So he dumped me! Get this! He said ‘is it that time of the month?’ Like he’s so wrong for that! I mean… he wasn’t literally wrong. But still. As a woman I feel attacked. Steve? Are you even listening?” See? Steve doesn’t lie. Very. Annoying.

“Yeah. That’s crazy.”

“What’s your problem today?”

“… nothing”

“Oh. My. God. Steve get over it. It’s been a month! Why would you even want to be friends with him? He killed Chrissy,” (OH NO SHE DIDN’T), “I think he should be behind bars,” (SHE DID), “he disappears for like a week and comes back with a brand new apartment. I don’t know Steve I think it’s kinda messed up-”

“JULIE,” The entire diner went silent. He waved and apologized to the workers before continuing a little quieter, “genuine question. Do you ever shut up?”

“I-“

“Let me finish,” she actually closed her mouth for once what a shock! “It’s not against the law for me to have a friend that I actually care for. You act like I can’t know people besides you. Plus to be honest, I’ve never even liked you. For one, you over share EVERYTHING. Yeah, sorry, news flash I could not care less about your dear dear Bradley boy and wether or not he loves you. And also I’m allowed to have opinions that differ from yours. You don’t have to argue about EVERYTHING. If I said ‘oh hey Julie look at the pretty blue sky’ you’d come up with a six page essay on how the sky isn’t BLUE.”

“You done?”

“Oh I could say more if you’d like,” he grinned. When she said nothing he went to continue his beautifully presented speech.

“Pass,” she interrupted, “I’m sorry Steve. I really am. But it’s not my fault you cannot form a sentence where the subject isn’t Eddie. You’d think you’re in love with him,” (OH REALLY??) the last words rang in his ears. He scoffed as he took the last sip of his shake. He aggressively stood up and thanked the waiter.

“Oh and thank you for paying Julie!” He smiled as he ran out the door. He jumped in the car and laughed. Laughed until he couldn’t breathe. He wondered where all this rage came from. Then he remembered that he promised himself to never yell at anyone…

• Suddenly he’s ten again. His dad had told him something stupid that Steve quite frankly didn’t agree with. He didn’t even yell at him he just said softly that he has a different opinion. But oh no. Richard wasn’t too happy about it. He yelled at Steve until he lost his voice. When he did he had to use the only other form of punishment he knew. He hit Steve. Once. Twice. Seven times. But no. That wasn’t enough. He grabbed Steve by the hair and slammed him into the wall. That’s how he got concussion number 1 (and 2,4, and 5). If you ask anyone else he knew at the time he fell of his bike (Which was believable considering that’s how he got the third one). He remembered going to school the next day and Tommy laughing at him because oh Steve, you’re so stupid. Oh. Tommy.

Now he’s back to age 14. There were two kids in his grade named Cory and Danny. They were both super nice kids. Got good grades, never did anything wrong. But one day Tommy wasn’t to fond of how close they were sitting at lunch. So as usual, he said something. Called them… the word. Now I mean sure, Steve wasn’t the nicest and called Johnathan a queer once. But that? He’d never do that. That’s way too far. He told Tommy to stop. He just pushed him away and said, “or what? Are you a little fairy too?” •

Thinking back on it so what? So what if he was gay? There’s nothing wrong with that. And yeah Julie, so what if he is in love with Eddie…Wait. Pause. What? He had to think for a hot second about that one. He thinks about Nancy and what it felt like to be in love with her. And yeah it’s a lot different actually, but not in the way he thinks. He thought about how he actually felt about Nance he loved her but no… the longer he thought about it the more he realized. He thought about Robin, and how yeah he obviously loves her too. In the same way he loved Nance.

But that’s like saying their whole relationship was a lie so no. He loved her. But… He was hyperventilating at this point. Okay well he’s obviously not gay because he hooked up with like 10 girls a month a while back. He did it in hopes for just the right girl. He hoped it ‘feel different’ with her. Different. Oh.

But he guessed that it doesn’t matter anyways, because Eddie doesn’t like Steve back. Right?

He had to stop thinking about it because he’s been sitting in the car for a while now and he can see Julie inside standing up finally. He pulls out of the parking lot and cranks down the window. Just breathing in the summer air. He makes it about half way home before he realizes that he drove Julie to the diner. Oops.

He turns on the radio. He still hasn’t changed the tape since the airport. He has to admit. This kind of music is growing on him. It’s loud he’ll give it that, but the more he listens the more he actually hears the lyrics. And they’re actually good. Like really good. He pulls up to his house and sits in the car for a bit longer. Just listening.

Once the tape is over he gets out. He unlocks the door and jumps onto the couch. He sees the copy of The Lord of the Rings that Dustin had gotten him after forcing him to watch the movies. He almost cried (but then he thought about his dads stupid words) when he got it. Mostly because it’s probably the best gift he’s ever gotten. But partly because he couldn’t read. After concussion number 13 (12? 14? He didn’t know. I wonder why he couldn’t remember!) he was never able to. The words blend together and make no sense anymore. Every time he picks up a book he gets an instant migraine. (Oh yeah because he gets those too now.) He picks it up anyway. He opens it and… yeah. “Pointless,” He sighed.

It’s the weekend for gods sake, and he just discovered the that his life was a lie (he honestly wasn’t even mad about it. He was happy. It felt like a 50 pound brick just got taken off his shoulder). He should be doing something fun. So he gets up and looks around. He could put on a movie. But then again he’s seen them all about 20 times since Eddie left. Yep he’s got nothing. He could… yeah nope absolutely nothing. He glanced towards the phone and shrugs. He dials the only number he has memorized.

“Hello?”

“Hey Vick!”

“Steve! How are you?”

“I’m good! Really good actually. Uh random question.”

“Hm?”

“Are you and Robin working today? Or just over the weekend in general?”

“I mean we are supposed to be but we can always just close up the shop. Why what’s up.”

“You guys want to go out for a drink? I’ll drive up there.”

Steve could practically here her smiling over the phone. She sighed, “I’ll go inform the wife,” she giggled.

“Thanks Vick, you’re the best.”

“Tell me something I don’t know. When will you head up here?”

“…now?”

She laughed, “yeah okay. See you in a bit!”

“Bye,” he put the phone back on the wall. He walked to his room to find a good outfit.

He put on his skinny jeans because in Eddie’s exact words, “they are very…Flattering?” He searched for a good shirt. Thankfully he expanded from his polo collection. He accidentally pushed a shirt off of its hanger and he couldn’t just leave it on the ground like a normal person because that would ruin “the image”. He picks it up and looks at it. It was a Nirvana shirt Eddie had bought him saying that, “this band will slowly ease you into metal. Grungey but surprisingly good.” He didn’t think they were to bad. He threw on the shirt for fun. It looked alright so he decided to stick with it. Plus it was actually very comfy. He went to walk out of his room when he saw it. Why did he still have it? It’s been seven years. But there it is in the corner of his room. The stupid battle vest. He thought he gave it back to Eddie. He picked it up and went to hang it up when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. I mean. He might as well. He threw on the jacket and… he looked good. Really good. He wondered why he never wore it before. He definitely pulled it off. He ran to the bathroom and grabbed the makeup bag he kept for when Robin came over (he swears it’s for Robin and Robin only). Go big or go home right? He pulled out three things: lipgloss (WHICH HE HAS NEVER USED AND IS ROBINS AND NOT HIS), mascara (WHICH HE HAS ALSO NEVER USED), and eyeliner. (Which he actually hadn’t ever used) He started with the lipgloss. Yep looks good like normal Wow Steve! He should have done this sooner. He put on the eyeliner. He had done this so many times on Robin it was practically muscle memory and… woah. It was… different to say the least. Then he put on the slightest bit of mascara on and checked himself out… for 5 minutes. He actually liked what he saw. He decided it was definitely time to go so he jumped in the car and drove up to his second home. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next

EEEEEE. YOU GO STEVE. Baddie era fr (I’ll never say that again I swear. Dw it pained me too). I feel kinda bad just giving him piles of trauma. This one’s gooooodddd tho. Sorry if it’s short, it was originally supposed to be combined with the next one but I’m hoping that one will be kinda long. Am I projecting Nirvana onto him? Yes. Ofc. Nirvana is great and deserves more attention in fics. I am stressing a lot over this. I have a post up on my page that like gives updates and spoilers and stuff. So I was saying how I stopped reading my English book for this. Oops. I also don’t even have another chapter written after this so it’s gonna be a fun little weekend project! Also crazy to think I’m most likely half way done. Anyways now the stuff no one cares about. Comment or reblog if you want to be tagged. (I am not being aggressive when I capitalize this I just need people to see it.) MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR TAGS ON GUYS!! Here’s the tag list!: @asbealthgn , @queerbeansworld , @bird-with-pencils , @vecnuthy , @artiststarme , @captain-winter-wolf-aehs , @piningapple @rowendyss @steve-themom-harrington @lfaewrites @azreadytodie @thequeenrainacorn @pastel-dreamscape @importanttimemachinenerd @jehneeg @swagaliciousmarie @mightbeasleep @krazyperson @milkshakeflower @fando-random @bumblebeecuttlefishes @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369

I am going to cry I just found a much easier way to tag people. ⬇️⬇️

[bonesandthebees]

Anyway, Rose chapter 5. In my head it started with a montage of all the shit Tomys got up too. Like I could see Tobyn pour that bag over his head and see the both of them running through the hallways while screaming. And I can hear the screaming when the curtains got set on fire. While half of it is obviously just the two of them being kids and messing around and discovering the consequences (and maybe his friends trying to cheer Tomys up because she’s sad at having to move to the palace or unhappy). Some part also feels like maybe Tomys is trying to get sent home. He doesn’t know why he’s here (I’m like 99% sure it’s not a front), he doesn’t want to be here and he probably has no idea how long he’ll be here. He just wants to have some fun and enjoy the experience while it lasts. So he’s not too worried about it, but subconsciously he might think that if he’s childish or annoying enough, he might get sent home.

Wilbur then gets annoyed by that ability to be childish. Because he knows the consequences he would have gotten (read: Phil would have given him) if he had set his curtains on fire, yet Tomys just gets away with it. Like sure he probably got scolded, but there’s only so many times you can scold a kid before it loses it’s effect. And clearly whatever they are trying to get him under control is not working (hint: you need to use the intrinsic motivation). It’s obvious when he’s interacting with Wilbur at the market.

Side note: as a person who has spend a decent amount of time with 14-year-olds, you are doing such a good job writing Tomys as that age. Like he’s not some irredeemable bastard. He’s just a kid who wants to have fun with his friends and he has little control over his life right now, so he just tries to gain some of that back. Which is probably why he “acts out”. It’s a sense of control.

We see this at the market. Tomys ins’t really concerned with the political importance of the market, they have markets at home. He just wants to know if it’s going to be cool. He’s only really interested in the shells because that’s something new.

Also since he knows about the shells and that merchants get them further in land, he might have seen them before but not been allowed to get them (possibly for the same reason), would definitely make him double down now that he has a chance because he knows that Wilbur has no authority over him. And Wilbur not knowing about the shells getting further in shows that he’s a palace kid and doesn’t really know all that much about the kingdom from experience outside of the capitol (Do I see a flaw in Phil’s parenting? I see many. Moving on.)

(1/?)

-🌲

I am so glad the chapter started off with a montage in your head that's exactly what I was going for LMAO

wilbur is very frustrated with tommy and claims it's because he's annoying and childish but yeah, a lot of it actually has to do with his own jealousy that he never got to act like that as a kid. but it's also his own view that well, he wasn't allowed to act like that as a child because he was taught it's immature and foolish to do things like that, so he judges tommy for not being as understanding and mature as he was at that age to get that.

oh yeah tommy has definitely wanted to make dumb purchases at the market back in Valbroek before and wasn't allowed to for obvious reasons. now that he's loose with a bag of coins at his hip he's definitely going a bit wild, and is going to ignore everything wilbur says to try and get him to listen

[mariatesstruther]

For the WIP game:

You've got me intrigued with the "maria and ellie" fic. Do you have a snippet? Is it canon compliant or an AU?

Also, I don't see the Christmas fic?!?!?! Maybe because you don't consider it a WIP yet because I know you've been sick.

I hope you're feeling better 💜

hello ameera 🥰🥰🥰 tysm, i am feeling better 🫶🏾

im glad you’re intrigued with this one! i was actually just working on this! i do have a draft, although very unedited because i’m terrible and don’t autocapitalize when i’m drafting, so be warned. it is a show/canon-compliant fic (haven’t decided if it’s a one-off or maybe the start to a whole mariaellie thing) in which ellie and maria have a meaningful one-on-one sometime shortly after ellie and joel get back, right after the end of tlou 1. i just really wanted a fic centered around the beginnings of the relationship between these two, especially addressing their conversation about joel from 1x06, because ive rewatching tlou2 gameplay and got struck by how close they seemed pre-joel’s death. i think plot-wise, it could also be an interesting start to a story about ellie finding her place in jackson under a mentorship program maria is piloting to help newcomers get acclimated to jackson. in this au, i’d imagine maria would want to mentor ellie, but ellie would need some serious convincing. here’s some snippets, i hope the it’s not too rough!

joel sending ellie to talk to maria:

“youre just too pussy to go over there and talk to her yourself,” ellie grumps, huffing down onto the couch to start pulling on her converse.

“that may be true,” joel says dryly. he doesnt look up from his stupid fucking carpentry book as he continues, “but i’m sending you anyway. have fun.”

“yeah, yeah, asshole. fuck you.”

“and try to watch your language.”

“oh, my bad! screw you! how’s that?”

-

maria talking to ellie:

“tommy told me yall had a hard time out there,” maria tries, attempting and failing at subtlety. it was always easier to her, both naturally and due to her career, to be more direct—but direct with ellie doesn’t always go well, in her experience. so she tries something different. “and that maybe you didn’t have the best time in school before, so. i get it.”

“yeah, well,” ellie snarks, and maria knows already that subtly isn’t the way to go with her, either. “tommy’s an asshole, and he has a big fucking mouth. you guys should find better shit to do than gossip about me and joel.”

jesus, this kid, maria thinks. the tone of her voice, honestly, is hilarious. despite herself maria barks out a laugh. “i have a feeling, ellie, that maybe you and i have the wrong impression of each other.”

“you mean you have the wrong impression of joel.”

“maybe,” maria says, which she can tell is more than ellie was expecting. “i admit, i have a lot of unresolved… feelings, i can say, about joel. i’m working on them. i’d prefer if we could focus this conversation on you and me.”

ellie seems uncomfortable at the prospect, shifting in her chair and fiddling with her long sleeves in her lap. “there isn’t really a you and me to think about.”

“there can be, if you’d like,”

“not if there’s shit between you and joel,”

“how i feel about joel has no bearings on how i’m going to treat you, ellie, and he knows that.”

“but it should. it has to. he’s my—“ ellie stops herself suddenly, cheeks going red and jaw locking in familiar tween-aged embarrassment. “he’s mine.”

“he is. and tommy’s mine.” maria decides to respond in the same way, putting things into ellie’s terms instead of her own, as juvenile as those terms sound to her ears. she’s realizing now, frankly, that this girl is quite the master at leading conversations, whether she realizes it or not. maria can’t help but wonder if it’s something she got from joel. “but they’re also each other’s, whether we like it or not. can we both agree on that?”

“i guess.”

“then it seems to stand to reason that we’ll be quite present in one another’s lives, right? whether we like it or not?”

ellie doesn’t seem to respond too well to the rhetorical questions, immediately bristling at maria’s leading on. “don’t fucking patronize me.”

“i’m not trying to, ellie. i’m trying to propose a proposition to you.”

-

thats’s what i’m giving for now! and i do have the xmas fic on my wip list, i just don’t have much drafted to post, at this point. it’s been hard to do anything this week on account of being sick, but i’m feeling better and writing more this week! hopefully i’ll have something soon, but i’m going to knock out the few wips i have on ao3 first.

@bumblepony ur ask is coming next bae i totally forgot i had one more thing to add to my catching fire au before i move to mockingjay!

[ramblingdisaster73]

Thoughts while rewatching 4x01 - 4x04 -

Episode 4x02 - this does include thoughts that span the whole arc - so spoilers ahead.

Not at all hard to figure out why the trailer couple would get divorced – both are a bit unhinged – and not in a “I am going to save the love of my life way”

I love how the white dude was able to just say “Naw, I don’t feel like pulling over officer”. Like – it really is a great example of policing in the US.

The lady is crazy – I am not looking forward to seeing her again in 4x05 – especially since I think this is what makes her question her judgement in 4x05 – causing her to decide to resign.

Texas sure has a lot of cops that just like to hang out in their gear with their guns – for a “party” – this is about the Mile Marker 23 scene – it was all performative to have that many resources there – first part of this arc that makes the cops look super stupid.

What is the age of retirement for active duty firefighters? They tend to keep the characters at a similar age to the actor playing them – Judd being 40ish like Jim, Paul being in his late 30’s like Brian. It seems like TK, Carlos, Grace, & Marjan are the same. I am not sure about Nancy & Mateo –

I love Grace & Tommy’s relationship – I love the chicken clucking conversation

I love the way they call each other out – but, always with love and actual advice or a well-served look.

I do like the way the director used the actors in the loft dinner scene – telling each actor different information to keep them all on their toes – it worked so well.

AT NO POINT DO I DOUBT THE LOVE BETWEEN CARLOS & TK – I just think a lot of this storyline could have been made cleaner – but when the primary goal is to find a way to blame TK – this is what you get.

An 8 WEEK wedding – that also needs to have a divorce preceding it (but only one of them knew this), Iris demanding to meet said unaware fiancé – like TK was at a job interview for a job he already thought he had – and his fiancé is just like “Oh its totally cool – you just aren’t allowed to have reactions or try to make this impossible wedding happen even though I am the one that put us in this position by my complete inability to address my own problems.” – like this was to set up the blame game.

They could have done the kidnapped storyline without the married part – or still kept the married part – but put the blame where it actually goes – on the guy that kept his legal status a secret from the man he agreed to marry.

Do they think they are making Owen look like anything other than incompetent at any aspect of his life with the exception of being a firefighter?

I thought the chemistry between Tommy & Charles was pretty good – but DAMN – the chemistry between her & Rev. parks is insane (I do know that they played a couple in a different show).

Tommy is so fucking stunning – like absolutely stunning. I don’t think I will survive when she wears the other black dress we saw in the promos – I am hoping it is in 4x07 which, by the title, sounds like a Tommy episode.

I love the Tommy/Owen scene in 4x02 – so fucking much – it’s my #2 scene of the episode – so perfect

The dialog – their expressions – their platonic chemistry all gave us this hilarious scene – but – please don’t take relationship advice from this man.

“I’m so flattered” followed by “You weren’t in it.” Was so needed – like, I love it so much.

Gee, who called Donna Burton being the body in the closet from the 4x04 promo? – oh yeah, me. (& I am sure plenty of others, but I knew there was a reason to say her name in 4x02)

Ronen’s acting has been fucking amazing this season (Rafa’s too, but a lot of people are so focused on Rafa that Ronen’s is overlooked). His eyes can break your heart or heal it on their own.

The facial expressions on these cast members are priceless - as someone with a very expressive face – I really appreciate it. You see how they feel a lot of the time, even when the dialog doesn’t give us that information.

The heartbreaking realization that he could be seen as a project to Carlos – or honestly, even worse, his life’s work – God that procession of expressions through out that scene was beautiful – and I FELT IT

I feel so bad for the Rev, thinking he was on a date with a gorgeous woman – only to find it was with the gorgeous woman, her best friends & their child, along with her daughters – he handled it so well.

I love the looks that Grace gives – she was giving them for me

The situational awareness that Owen Strand possesses is at a negative level – and keeps getting worse.

The loft scene is my favorite of the episode and one of my top 5 over all Tarlos scenes. The communication is beautiful – but tragic when we find out that TK was sitting with these thoughts since the day before – making him question everything – as they probably should have. –I think his question to Carlos was very valid.

I like it when people can realize that they aren’t broken – I like that Carlos showed us his vulnerability with this – that he actually responded to TK’s questions instead of joking or brushing them off.

Still can’t get over Judd being so oblivious to the fact he was part of the 3rd, 4th, & 5th wheels on his best friend’s date with their pastor. Or Grace’s response when she realized how clueless he was.

I love Grace calling her out – it was so funny & needed.

I like that one of the over all themes of 4x02 was humor – since most of the humor in the next 2 episodes were fairly unintentional I think.

[modelbus]

hiiii would you be willing to do a tommy x fem/gn reader where the reader doesn’t have a prom date and tommy offers to fly to america to be their date teehee … perhaps starting platonic and ending romantic ?

Starting platonic and ending romantic my beloved Also, uh, this got a bit long...

Pairing: CC!Tommy x gn!Reader (who wears a dress)

Perfect Prom

“Where have you been? It’s been ages since I’ve talked to you!” Tommy whines when you join his VC.

“It’s been a day.”

“You didn’t answer any of my messages!”

“Someone is clingy.” Tubbo coughs.

“Fuck off! No I’m not!”

You sigh, opening Minecraft to join him. His stream is pulled up on your second monitor so you can see his expressions while talking to him. It seems to be a chill day today. Or as chill as it gets with Tommy and Tubbo in the same stream.

“I was busy!” You defend

“Too busy for big man Tommyinnit? What were you even doing?!”

“Helping my friends shop for prom. It’s a whole day thing, you know?”

“Oh!” Tubbo exclaims, suddenly sounding eager. “Is your prom soon?”

“A week, yeah.”

“I expect photos.” He tells you.

You give an awkward laugh, moving your Minecraft character to try and find Tommy and Tubbo’s. “Uh, I’m not going?”

“Why not?!” Tommy yells.

This was the embarrassing part, the part you were about to admit to thousands of viewers.

“I, um, don’t really have a date.”

Your popularity started and ended online, leaving you completely and utterly alone. Sure you had friends, but they all had dates. And with prom in a week… well, you had just given up. It wasn’t like you wanted to go to prom that bad.

“What?!” At least Tommy seems outraged for you. “What about your friends?”

“All have dates. I’d rather hang out with you guys and stream anyways. Right chat? You’re more important than some dance.”

Chat seems to disagree with you, but that’s fine.

“So you don’t want to go to prom at all? Not even a little?” Tubbo questions.

“Nope.” You lie. “Now where are you at? I can find you.”

“Have you ever heard of the man cave?”

The topic doesn’t get dropped forever though, coming up later off stream. Tubbo had left the VC immediately after ending stream so it was just you and Tommy now.

“Genuinely, you’re fine with not going to prom? That’s super important, isn’t it?” He asks, breaking the post-stream silence first.

“I wish I could, but the administration has rules against going alone.” You shrug despite him not being able to see you. “Besides, what’s the point of buying a dress if I’m not going with anyone?”

“So you want to go?”

“You’re just rubbing it in now.”

“I’m not! All you need is a date to prom to go?”

How many times did you have to repeat this for him to understand?

“Yeah. All I need is a date.”

“Then I’ll be your date!”

Immediately, you choke on your own saliva in shock. “What?!”

“I’ll be your date to prom! So you can go!”

“Tommy, there’s a few problems with that. I’m in America and prom is in a week, for one.”

“I’m already looking at flights.”

“Second, you do realize a date is romantic right?”

“Platonic date then.”

“Why can’t you just let me be alone?!”

“Because,” he starts earnestly, “that’s shit. Besides, it’ll make for a pretty cool vlog.”

“Tommy, you know I couldn’t ask you to-“

“You’re not asking, I’m offering. Say yes for the content if not for yourself.”

“…fuck this. Yeah. Come to America and be my prom date.”

He cheers, making you laugh.

“I’m gonna get to experience an American prom! No more content searching! There’s a flight out tomorrow.”

“Should we, like, ask Phil about this?”

“Probably, but I already bought my flight.”

“This is going to be a fucking mess.”

-

“This is so fucking stupid! Why won’t it stay in the fucking pocket?!”

You laugh, trying to adjust the pin pinning the flower in his pocket to no avail. “I told you the corsages were a bad idea!”

“Dream said to buy them. All or nothing.”

“And here we are, putting holes in your suit. Isn’t this a rental?”

“How dare you think me so low that I’d rent a suit instead of buying one.”

“Aha! The flower is on!”

You step back, taking in the sight of Tommy in his full suit. He had gotten you both matching corsages, red and white flowers that stuck out on his black suit coat and your wrist. Tommy turns to the bathroom mirror, filming with his phone.

“Oooo! Damn, I am sexy.”

“Okay, we’re going to miss the reservations.”

“Oh! The ones at Applebees?!”

“I still can’t believe you wanted to go to Applebees. We could’ve gone literally anywhere.”

“Okay, but Sapnap said-“

“Do you think Sapnap got any bitches?”

“Have you seen Sapnap?”

You stare at each other for a moment.

“He’s from Texas. Never trust a man from Texas.”

“So Applebee’s isn’t good?”

“I’ll let Applebees talk for itself.”

“Really? It’s that bad?”

“It’s… it’s something.”

With the newfound lack of courage in his choice of restaurant, you two set out for Applebees. Considering most people go somewhere nice on prom, it’s pretty dead. Maybe you’ll actually get good service for once.

“I swear the waitress just quit.” Tommy laughs, glancing around.

“Or maybe she’s disgusted by the fact you got a medium rare steak.” You suggest.

“Hey!” He yells, throwing a fry at you. “Don’t insult Dead Henry!”

“You named your food?!”

Dodging another fry, you start to throw your own back at him.

“This is fucking war!” He declares, grabbing a handful.

Under the sudden pelt of fries you half hide under the table. Tommy laughs maniacally, seemingly evil. And it’s all because you insulted his choice of steak. You should never get steak from Applebees to begin with!

“Excuse me, sir?”

Oh, of course the waitress comes back now.

“I’m going to have to ask you two to leave.”

Fuck.

“Oh.” Tommy says, apparently too shocked to find a response.

“I am so sorry.” You apologize, scrambling to try and find your card. Tommy’s won’t work because it’s English and Applebees isn’t refined enough to take English cards, so he promised he’d pay you back somehow.

“Yeah, you’re disrupting our other customers.”

Tommy glances around and mouths, “what customers?” to you.

“Mhm, mhm.” You hum as the waitress prints the receipt.

“…have a good day. I guess.”

The second the door closes behind you two, Tommy erupts. “What the fuck?! There were no other customers! It was just us! And she could’ve asked us to stop, not fucking kick us out!”

“It’s Applebees, Tom. What did you really expect?”

“America is the worst!” He laughs, “we really got kicked out because we threw fries, fuck.”

His words make you realize exactly how stupid the situation is. It’s prom night, Tommy came to America to be your date, and you both just got kicked out of Applebees.

Soon enough you’re both laughing at the absurdity of it all.

“How far is the boat?” Tommy asks after a little while.

Because your school was stingy on literally everything else they made up for it by going all out for prom. If you hadn’t known that then maybe you would’ve declined Tommy’s offer, but goddamn was prom meant to be cool.

“Walking?” You ask, pulling up Google maps.

“Yeah.”

“Uh, Google maps says fifteen minutes.”

He nods, offering you his arm. Without a second thought you take it, walking where he goes.

“Where are we going?”

“Prom.” He answers confidently.

“…wrong way.”

“Fuck. I knew that.”

The walk is only slightly cold, but after a few minutes you completely forget about the breeze in favor of joking with Tommy. You definitely owe him a lot. He came all the way to America just to be your date so you could go to prom!

Platonic date. You couldn’t forget that word: platonic. Because although your feelings before this were entirely platonic (were they really...?) seeing Tommy in person was changing that too fast for you keep up with your own feelings.

By the time you reach the docks it’s been well over fifteen minutes, tipping into thirty, which makes it perfect timing.

“When you said prom was a big thing I didn’t realize it was this fucking big.” Tommy says.

“Yeah, there's a lot of people." You agree, joining the line. "At least we're moving quick."

"I was more concerned about everyone dying at seeing my stunning dance moves."

"Oh, yeah, that's a pressing issue."

Soon enough you're both on the boat. It's actually really cool. There are three floors to the boat: the top one has an open-air dance floor, the middle has an indoor dance floor, and the bottom just has food and drinks.

By the time the two of you make your way to the top floor where everyone else is, prom is already in full swing. That is, to say, crowded and loud as fuck. Tommy grabs your hand so you two don't get separated in the huge sea of dancing people, pulling you a bit closer to him.

"Now what?" He asks.

"Dance, I guess?'

With a nod, he steps back and starts doing his weird dance moves. You can't help but laugh, although you do admire the confidence.

"Why aren't you dancing?! Dance with me!" He yells, eyes lighting up at a Taylor Swift song.

"Oh no no no, I am staying far away from you and your embarrassing moves."

"You're on the phone with your girlfriend she's upset!" He sings, grabbing your hands and forcing you to dance. After a second you give in, dancing with him.

The next songs pass so quickly in the blur of having fun with Tommy that you don't even realize he never dropped your hands. In the classic Tommy way, he's just dragging you around and forcing you to do his shitty yet wonderfully fun dance moves.

"Alright guys, we're over halfway through this thing, let's let the couples have some moments." The DJ announces.

As the current pop song fades into a much slower one, you start to head off the dance floor.

"Wait, we have to dance." Tommy quickly says. "Y'know, for the whole prom experience."

"Do you know how to slow dance? Because I don't."

"I am Tommyinnit the womanizer, of course I know how to slow dance!"

You laugh and loop your arms around his neck. "Alright then, womanizer."

He hesitates before placing his arms around your waist. The two of you just sway to the song, slowly relaxing throughout it.

"Thank you." You finally say, breaking the silence that had fallen between you two. "For coming."

"I came for Applebees, not you."

"Oh, of course, how could I not know." You roll your eyes.

He laughs, glancing around. "But of course I fucking came."

"You didn't just come though. You're in a whole suit. You're slow dancing with me."

"Because I'm your date."

"Platonic date." You correct instinctively. You've had to mentally correct yourself for a whole week now.

"...right. Yeah."

He doesn't sound entirely happy with that, and you can't help the way your heart leaps. It's foolish hope, but hope nonetheless.

"Actually, Wilbur's been telling me to make a fucking move for a while now." He suddenly says. "And that's why I offered. I know it's super shitty of me to tell you this now, but I just- you need to know, and I need to know, so I can stop getting my hopes up. I-"

Stopping your swaying, you cut his words off with a kiss. Maybe it's some Disney bullshit, but you swear this feels different than any other time you've kissed someone. Perfect, almost.

"What if I suggested we went to prom as a not-platonic date?" You ask.

"I'd say we're already fucking doing it." He responds with the stupidest grin you've ever seen him wear. "Wilbur's never gonna believe this."

[theshelbyclan]

Welcome to the chaos, little one

Summary: Giving birth is never easy, especially when it’s a Shelby x Solomons baby…

A/N I’m so slow with requests but a while back the lovely @fandom-puff​requested: Omg sorry to be a pain but I’m a sucker for Shelby chaos 😭😭😭 can I request something linked to A Very Shelby Christmas where the labour of baby Solomons is just as chaotic? But it could also be sweet like the bros finally accepting Alfie bc they all care about YN so much and can’t stand to hear her in pain, all while YN is screaming that she’ll cut off more of Alfie’s dick than his rabbi would even dare to if he ever tried to bed her again 😭😭😭 omg the chaos 👉👈 ily 💓💓 Here we go! This is part 2 to the story A Very Shelby Christmas

Words: 1638

***

“Not now, Y/N,” Arthur groaned. Ada rolled her eyes, remembering keenly when her brother had spoken those iconic words before. “It’s not like I can help it, Arthur,” you spit. 

Polly grabbed you by your arm as you doubled over again, “Alright, sweetheart, it’s time. Come with me…” “Not yet, Aunt Pol,” you panted, “It’s too early.” “The baby doesn’t have it’s own pocket watch yet,” Ada commented matter-of-factly, as she took your other arm. “Fuck!” you called out again as another contraction set in, “Fuck, fuck, fuckity-fuck!” “Nice.” “Oh, piss off John, you want to try this?” “Not really…” “Tommy!” you turned to the one family member who hadn’t said a word yet, “Get him.” “And who would that be, eh?” he replied in a low voice. “Thomas…” Aunt Polly warned softly. He raised his eyebrows, “Finn? You want Finn at the birth?” “WHY WOULD I WANT MY FUCKING BABY BROTHER HERE?!” Tommy waved a vague hand, “General comfort?” Now Aunt Polly’s eyes flashed with anger, “Thomas! Go get her husband, right now!” Tommy sighed deeply, still trying to ignore the fact that his little sister was now Mrs. Solomons, and said, “Come on boys, let’s get them all together and wet this baby’s head! Leave the women to it.” And you groaned, “Thank you…” Once Alfie would be here, everything would be easier.

*** “Solomons!” “No need to shout, mate, I’m right here, ain’t I?”

Slowly Tommy lit a cigarette and started smoking it, “It concerns my sister.” “You mean the glorious creature that made me the luckiest man on earth by marrying me? My wife? Mrs. Alfie Solomons?” A small twinkle appeared in Alfie’s eyes as he saw Tommy’s jaw tense up just a little at his words. “Yes.” “How is the old lady doing?” Alfie asked conversationally. “In pain,” Tommy replied, “She’s in labour, more to the point.” “You fucking what?” “She’s with her aunt Alfie, she’ll be fine.” Alfie blinked a few times, “Tommy I swear to God if you’re playing some fucking game with me I will shoot you between the eyes right here and now. You’re telling me my wife is in labour and you’re standing there casually smoking a cigarette, waiting for some fucking woman to tell you it’s done?” “Yes,” he nodded, “Well, I was about to go the Garrison. Thought we might bury the hatchet and you could join us.” “Have you lost your fucking mind…” Alfie said slowly, while rubbing his chin. Tommy cleared is throat and with a slight hint of uncertainty in his voice said, “It’s tradition.” “Well, if you’ll pardon my French, fuck your fucking heathen traditions, I’m going to my fucking wife and you are fucking coming with me. And bring your fucking family while you’re at it!”

*** “Why are we here?” John leaned in to Arthur slightly while asking the question in a hushed voice. “Alfie insisted.” “Why?” Arthur raised his voice, “Ask Tommy, alright? I don’t bloody know! I’m guessing it’s another Jewish thing…” On the other side of the door, you were most definitely in labour now. The pain was worse than anything you’d experienced before and you were seriously questioning your sanity at this point. “Aunt Pol?” Ada asked carefully after about an hour. Polly moved over from your side down to your legs and said, “What is it?” “Something’s wrong.” “THOMAS!” Polly bellowed as soon as she had taken a look, “Get me some more towels.”

“What’s happening?” A panicked Alfie asked from the hallway. But Polly pushed him aside and started ordering Finn to boil more water. “Woman!” he demanded, “You fucking tell me.” “She’s bleeding,” she answered quickly, “and I can’t see why.” “What can we do, Pol,” Arthur asked, wild-eyed. “Get a doctor. One we can trust.” Arthur dragged John with him, even before Polly had finished her sentence. “What about Sabini’s men?” John asked, “We were supposed to deal with them tonight. What if they come here?” “Shoot them,” Tommy said simply, as he lit another cigarette in a nervous manner. Inside the room, you were now screaming your head off. Of course you had realised giving birth would be painful, but not like this. The sight of Ada going slightly pale didn’t help either and panic had started mixing in with the general anxiety of the process, so your screams got louder and louder. “Pol…” Ada called out again, “What do I do?” In that moment, Alfie pushed passed her and fell down by your side, “I’m here,” he said softly. “I can see that,” you panted between shouts, “but why? You’re not supposed to be here.” “Out,” Aunt Polly said strictly, “This is no place for men.” And then Tommy walked in as well, averting his eyes and grabbing your hand at the same time. “What?” he said when Polly send him a death-glare, “If Alfie gets to stay, so can I!” “Fucking children…” “Alright, sweetheart,” Polly focused on you again, “This baby needs to come now.” Your eyes grew wide, “What’s wrong?” “Nothing,” Alfie replied for her, “You’ll be fine. You’re doing brilliant, babes.” “How the fuck would you know!” you shouted out. He shrugged, “Educated guess?” “Had a lot of experience with this, eh?” Tommy grumbled sarcastically. “This,” Ada pointed at the both of them, “This is why men shouldn’t be in here.” “I’m not fucking going anywhere, especially if my wife is in danger.” Tommy just shook his head in reply. “Danger?” you asked suddenly, “What does he mean in danger?” “No danger, love,” Ada soothed you, “if you just push.” And so you pushed, with every bit of strength you had in you. But then a gunshot sounded outside, followed rapidly by another two. Everyone looked up. “John,” Tommy clarified with a single word. “You’re being awfully cavalier about baby brother John getting shot there, Tommy…” Alfie commented. Tommy looked at Alfie with a frown that spoke volumes, “John just shot Sabini’s men. I told him to.” “Oh, good. Saves me the bloody trip.” “I can see some hair!” Ada called out suddenly. “What colour?” Alfie replied at once. And John stuck his head around the corner of the door, “Took care of them.” “We heard,” Aunt Polly grumbled. He hopped from one foot onto the other uncertainly, “Anything else I can do?” “Yeah, you can fuck off mate!” “Alright, I’ll stay, since you asked so nicely.” “John, just get the fuck out!” your sister shouted. The birth was chaos enough as it was and now all these boys were only adding to it instead of helping. And on top of it all, Finn stumbled in practically falling over his own feet with a bucket of water, splashing Aunt Polly in the process. This was more like a madhouse than a family occasion. But John pointed at Alfie indignantly, “He gets to stay!” “Push, Y/N,” Polly urged again, and so you did. “Nice one,” John laughed at Finn, “you literally had one job, mate.” “Mrs. Gray?” Alfie asked carefully, “Sorry to interrupt you there, alright, but I just wanted to quickly check, because you mentioned the hair, yeah? What colour? Because I’m sure I’ll love my son all the same if he’s blond, but I might just need to mentally prepare myself…” And then you finally burst out in anger, “Can you all just shut the fuck up for a second! I’m actually trying to have a fucking baby here!!” “Right, sorry about that love,” Alfie moved closer to you and grabbed your hand again, “Please continue. You’re doing brilliantly, even if he is blond…” Tommy chuckled lightly in the background, which made you even more angry somehow, “Alfie, I swear to God or Adonai or whatever you want to call him, do nottouch me again because remember how you said you couldn’t remember your circumcision?”

“Yes,” Alfie mumbled in mortal fear.

“You will remember when I do it. Remember how you told me of your rabbi doing it when boys are eight days old, because then it heals faster?”

“Yes...” he gulped.

“I’ll make it slow sweetheart. Really fucking slow.”  

“Right,” he said with big eyes, “What exactly would you have me do then except for just standing here like some great big bloody useless piece of shit?”  

“Shut up!”  

“Noted.” *** You weren’t sure what had happened exactly in that last hour. Apparently you’d lost a lot of blood and things had gotten hazy very quickly. Ada and Aunt Polly had stopped talking altogether and they had managed to save you, despite the bickering men in the background. You did remember that Alfie and Arthur had gotten into a fight at one point, but apparently they managed to resolve it quickly when the doctor arrived and they took turns in beating him up because he was no longer needed. Anger really does bring people together.

Of course, none of that really mattered now, because you were now holding a perfect baby right there, in your arms. Finn just stared at the baby, completely in awe. “Not blond…” John sounded a little disappointed. Arthur grinned, “But bloody perfect.” “Gorgeous, just like the mother,” Polly hugged you carefully. “Shelby good looks.” Tommy nodded slowly, with a sense of pride in his voice. “Any names yet?” Ada asked, “I bet you’ve picked them out ages ago, haven’t you?” “I have,” you smiled, “but couldn’t say them out loud yet, so we didn’t really discuss it. It’s bad luck.”

Uncharacteristically, Alfie hadn’t said a word yet.

“Mr. Solomons?” you said, gazing up from your one love to the other, “I believe you have a daughter.” And finally he smiled, deeply and incredibly in love as he held her tight with both hands. And in the most tender way possible he looked at you, grinned and said, “Fucking hell!”

***

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