#grief is a weird time
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We are picking up Henry's ashes from the pet crematorium on Friday and I was saying something to N about how we were going to get Henry but he wouldn't look like Henry, and then the dog came over and showed me his belly and I started thumping it while saying "they crisped my boy! They crisped him! A crispy boy" in a silly voice, and N burst into tears
#grief is a weird time#the other thing I wasn't able to stop joking about was when we were at the animal ER on Thursday night#it was supposed to be date night#and I was saying (while crying and after throwing up in the clinic bathroom)#'this is a terrible date we should do something different next week'#and N was like 'this is the latest we have ever stayed out on date night'#and I was like 'we are partying too hard'
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Birds of a Feather previous / next
#my art#feralnette au#birds of a feather#long tags#sorry I went apeshit in the tags#LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW#I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO#its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical#and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread#as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational#in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away#and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do#shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again#legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it#but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings#alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird#she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her#knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself#between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot#and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo#essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that#busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way#to show her she's self sabotaging#cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD
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|1085|
#sabo#one piece#my art#revolutionary sabo#xam doodies#sabo one piece#his legs gave me so much grief#i know theyre a little weird#but i only have so much time to work on this#id like to revisit it tho#:3#enjoy my fast n furious sabo cauterisation art
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I'm so curious about what Tim is in this au
Like is he a ghost? Is he even the real Tim? Is he the stranger wearing Tim's skin?
#pondering some weird eye fuckery#which wouldnt probably work with the worldbuilding but diregarding that#that jon can only see tim when actively feeding the eye/using its powers#and he could stop any time but that would mean tim would disappear#and neither of them wants that. regardless of thats even the real tim#*if#metaphorically feeds the grief kindling and then sticks his fingers into the fire#its ok the burns will scar over
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Vex'ahlia de Rolo || On Goodness, Self, and Longing
“Kith & Kin” - Marieke Nijkamp // “con la frente marchita” - Dante Émile // “Campaign 1, Episode 63: The Echo Tree” - Matthew Mercer // “White Oleander” - Janet Fitch // “Campaign 1, Episode 64: The Frigid Doom” - Liam O’Brien & Taliesin Jaffe // “Pig” - Hieu Minh Nguyen // “Campaign 1, Episode 63: The Echo Tree” - Laura Bailey & Liam O’Brien // “Recollections of my Nonexistence” - Rebecca Solnit // “The Archer” - Taylor Swift // “Campaign 1, Episode 65: The Streets of Ank’Harel” - Laura Bailey & Liam O’Brien // “So We Must Meet Apart” - Jennifer S. Cheng // “Campaign 1, Episode 72: The Elephant in the Room” - Laura Bailey & Liam O’Brien // “Shocker” - Taylor Steele // “Campaign 1, Episode 104: Elysium” - Sam Riegel // “Tell the Wolves I’m Home” - Carol Rifka Brunt // “4-Sided Dive Episode 9: That’s Just Right” - Laura Bailey and Taliesin Jaffe // “Infinite Jest” - David Foster Wallace
#vex'ahlia#vex'ahlia de rolo#percy de rolo#vax'ildan#scanlan shorthalt#saundor#laura bailey#matthew mercer#taliesin jaffe#liam o'brien#sam riegel#critical role#vox machina#cr1#if you saw this earlier no you didn't. pictures formatted weird at first#she's the world to me actually.#this has been in my drafts in pieces for ages but#recently shes been in my head and today i had time and good grief. She#webweave#web weave#web weaving#my posts
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coming back home.
@barrenclan
#patfw#patfw fanart#patfw spoilers#rainhaze#THE NEW ISSUE. IT SURE WAS AN ISSUE HUH. I AM NORMAL. SO NORMAL IN FACT#THAT I REDREW A PANEL OF THE COMIC IN MS PAINT#i need someone to put this horrid beast down already. he needs to DIE i am not joking. euthanise him. please.#he is soooo fascinating.#i CANT get over his expression in this panel. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM#hes smiling .is it a genuine smile? is he smiling bc he knows how this is going to go and all he can do is laugh now?#why. why why why the smile. at first he looks shocked or surprised or terrified but THEN it turns into this playful soft grin. as if full o#nostalgia. or maybe grief. or maybe joy. he looks like he knows something we dont.#did he accept that his family is going to get wiped out (HIS FAULT HE KILLED HER HE RIPPED HER THROAT OUT) and is just happy he got to see#them one last time?#this is so weird. before killing asphodel he was so terrified of meeting them. of facing his past and acknowledging what he became.#is him smiling a symbol of him giving up? becoming part of defiance? hes not running away anymore. he doesnt have to.#jesus.#my art#wanted to make him look as fucked up as i could. i hope he looks like a corpse or perhaps a starved dog to you
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Dramatic Drama
“What the hell was that?!”
Mammon and Asmodeus yelled in unison, leaning forward to give threatening glares to the characters on screen. The pair continued to insult the male lead in particular, as he fell to his knees and grovelled for the forgiveness of his female love interest. They scolded the actor like he could somehow hear. The woman stood firm despite her former lover grovelling at her feet - and yet her face showed signs of pain and conflict.
You weren’t really sure what to expect, when you invited Mammon, Asmodeus and Satan to watch one of your favourite human-world telenovelas with you. They all seemed to love TV shows and books with plenty of drama, but you were surprised at the intensity of their reactions.
Well… Mammon’s and Asmo’s. Though you had a sneaking suspicion Satan was enjoying your watch session more than he let on.
“Whilst I’m not going to yell,” Satan began, “this is still idiotic. She literally just caught him being intimate with another woman, so how can she still stand there like -“
“Girl, you better not!” Asmo’s screeching cut Satan off as the Avatar of Lust clutched his fuzzy, pink comforter to his chest - Satan snapping his head back to the TV as the words “… but I still love you…” from the male actor floated through the speakers, along with some very dramatic guitar music. As he confessed his love for her, the woman turned look him in the eye with a softened gaze… much to the chagrin of your companions.
“No, no, no!!! Don’t you dare say you love that idiot!” Mammon growled, shaking his fist at the TV. You sighed.
“I’m glad you’re all enjoying this, but maybe don’t be too loud. We’re right next to Lucifer’s room…”
“WAIT!!!” Everyone (now including a very emotionally-invested Satan) half-shushed, half-yelled. The woman had offered the man her hand, pulling him to his feet. The three demons on the sofa leaned forward, in nervous anticipation. Asmo’s comforter was now on the floor, forgotten. Mammon was on one side of you, clinging to your arm like a lifeline. Satan was on your other side, eyes wide, your sleeve balled into his fist so hard the threads had begun to unravel. You decided to just lean back in your seat and enjoy the scene, knowing what was to come next. The woman spoke.
“I…”
Satan was seething. Asmo was chanting seriously under his breath: ”Don’t do it, girl - don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t -“
“I… I…!”
Mammon had leaned so far forward, he’d slipped off the edge of the sofa - and onto the floor alongside Asmo’s comforter. He hadn’t made any sound, though, chanting with Asmo and gritting his teeth as -
“… I love you, too.”
And hell broke loose.
Satan began to throw things - pillows, food and books. Mammon threw his hands up and started yelling at a now-cracked screen; a thick book (courtesy of the Avatar of Wrath) lodged into the glass. A shrieking, livid Asmo caused the door to creak open only a few seconds later.
…
… A few seconds too late, as Lucifer opened the door to a TV remote hitting him smack in the head.
(inspired by a telenovela from my childhood that i've been rewatching, lol. something like this happened to the second male ad female leads, who are love interests - and i remember being so mad, especially since i shipped the second male lead so hard with the main female lead. i was also mad because they repeated this like multiple times throughout the series and i was like, girl no why this is the tenth time you've done this exact same thing. i was also also mad because the second leads being romantic with each other started so ridiculously late in the show i couldn't get behind it - and all of that culminated my young self raging even tho the show was so so good if you just take out that romance)
#if levi watches this it has the unfortunate side effect of him thinking all non-anime shows in the human world are like this#whats with all the weird effects#why are they zooming onto their face so many times#why are they playing that dramatic woosh sound over and over all they did was walk through the door#telenovela and asian drama watchers iykyk#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me writing#obey me headcanons#obey me nightbringer#obey me mc#obey me satan#obey me mammon#obey me asmodeus#obey me lucifer#barely any lucifer tho i always give him grief in each of these ill give him more love in future i promise ahaha
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Why does Ren have 4 ears? Are they all real or is one set fake?
Hehe I’ve gotten this question a lot actually! They’re all real— I like to think hybridization isn’t always a clean balance of traits, so Ren just unfortunately ended up with two sets of ears— his Dog ears being much more receptive to sound, naturally— and sometimes when the extra intake of sound is too overwhelming, I imagine he wears earplugs in his human ears to help adjust :> it’s a bit weird, but idk! i like to make designs funky and nonconventional! I liked the idea that Ren had hearing struggles due to wonky hybridization and just kept the concept :>
#dbhc#dbhc ask#ask#anon#dbhc ren#renthedog#dbhc doc#since I talk about him in the tags FGBJCGHN#it’s another one of those situations where I drew it that way when I was younger because I didn’t really understand why ppl were drawing#hybrids with flat spaces where human ears should go and have dog ears on the top of the head— I couldn’t figure out anatomically#it makes more sense to me now since animals are literally like that but it’s just something I kept doing and came up with a better#reason for it later once I had a better understanding of stuff#I don’t necessarily think two sets of ears is logically more sound than reworking the anatomy of a human head to have ears on top but!#it’s really not that deep LMAO#I like the idea of hybridizations being wonky because weird stuff physically happens to people all the time#hybrid or not#and then we gotta deal with the physical consequences of stuff we were born with… yknow#ANYWAY WHAT A WEIRD RAMBLE#tldr funky hybrid who now has hearing problems/gets overwhelmed easily by sound. ren the dog I love you#and if you were to look into my soul you would find that I also think dbhc doc helped him craft earbuds using android tech to work perfectly#to tune out the sounds he needs#:3 because they are friends and I think doc should use his expertise to help make life easier for ren#I��M STILL RAMBLING!!!#good grief
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congrats 2 henry peglar for being the only bitch confirmed as to be Fucking That Old Man
#the heron giveth#the terror#alright here come the funny tags#bridglar#briglar#people spell it both ways i think. ill do both hujst to be safe#henry peglar#john bridgens#uh um um. uh#peglar x bridgens#THIS FEELS WEIRD. TO TYPE#bridgens x peglar#alright im done good GRIEF#this isnt even that extreme compared to the shit people are putting on ao3 about these two. god.#anyways hi ive watched this show maybe 7 or 8 times? only just recently have i gotten hooked on them#the scripts make me go nuts too. ''they were lovers in their pasts'' shut the fuck up dont say that to me ill start crying#this is the most risque thing i have ever posted on here#getting out of the fandom game for a while rewired my brain i have to get weird again. and boy do they make me feel weird !#i have a number of terror mutuals who r gonna go nuts over this. fuck yes a little bowl of seeds for me style#this looks blurry posting it hopefully tumblr doesnt crunch the shit out of the quality anyways im done typing goodbye
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I ALMOST FORGOT LOL
Hanfuyu week 2024 day 5: hanahaki disease
#i spent the entire day reading dandadan and forgot about everything else#also i slept middle 6th panel so it looks weird#hanfuyuweek2024#hanfuyu#shuji hanma#chifuyu matsuno#tokyo revengers#tokrev#fanart#gold draws#countimp#東京リベンジャーズ#btw my hc for them isnthat shuji fell first and fuyu fell harder#shuji just saw fuyu doing something unhinged (as usual) and decided 'i am in love with him'#on the other hand fuyu finally noticed he had feelings for shuji and passed through the 5 stages of grief at least 7 times
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my grandma was a smoker, & every card she sent used to smell like cigarettes. a year after she died I bought a pack of marlboro reds and smoked my first ever cigarette so I could exhale it into the card so they'd smell like her again. ur comic about the blue cigarettes really meant a lot to me, grief is funny like that
im glad it resonated with you, i wasnt too sure about publishing this one tbh
he's been gone for two years now, and I've found grief to be the loudest in the little things
like i never thought id miss the hallmark style movies, on almost all day during the christmas holidays with the volume way too high, but fuck i did this year and the year before
I'd never thought id come to miss cigarettes of all things
grief do be funny like that
#its weird to talk about grief itself i dont think i ever#let myself talk about it ? or took the time to think aboit it#idk#anyway thats getting too deep for a fanart blog lol
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Fae dick will break the joker after Ethiopia.
Heck yeah.
Fae? Or any other creature? They’re vindictive. Vindictive to a fault. And loyal. They don’t give away their love easily. Yeah, they can feel fond of things. Even like them. But love? Familial or otherwise? That’s sacred to them. More so to Dick, who already had to suffer losing his family once. So this? Yeah, he’s not having it.
But oh, if you think Joker’s just gonna get killed off then you’re so, so wrong. There are so many other ways, better ways, to make a human suffer. Worse things than death. Worse things than any kind of torture humans could come up with.
Dick makes Joker pay. Every second Jason had to spend with that madman is amplified tenfold, stretched into eternity. Dick traps him in a nightmare he will never wake up from. By the time he’s done with Joker, there won’t be an ounce of that monster left inside that sick little brain. There won’t be anything left of the joker.
By the time Dick allows the creatures to eat Joker alive, the man’s been begging for death for what translate to several centuries to the human mind.
#time works weird with fae#like that time my cousin and I played in the woods and we could have sworn it was just an hour or so but the entire day had passed#the things from the forest can twist and warp your mind if angered#fae dick grayson#joker#mild gore#jason todd#batfamily#headcanons#a death in the family#the other creatures were just WAITING for dick to allow them to feast#the forest will absorb all that wickedness and turn it to nutrients for the soil#purify it#it’s not enough#it won’t bring Jason back#but the trees sing for decades about the joker’s pain#and such sweet song remains in the roots#along with dick’s grief#dick grayson#batfam#fic#fanfiction
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Been doing some sketching lately~ I have the Silmarillion on the brain~
This last one is evidence of the sad fact of smudging that occurs with soft lead in a well travelled sketchbook~
(which I could fix by removing the page or applying setting spray, but I haven't bothered 😅)
Also-
That one with Maedhros standing next to a young lady with hobbit on her other side- is from when I was reading through What the hell is happening? By Leader_in_red? And I was thinking 'what would the height difference actually be? If Maedhros is 7 ft tall, Hazel is normal human height, and then we have hobbits in the mix-
Anyway,
I don't think I got the heights quite right, but it was fun trying to imagine just how insanely tall Maedhros actually is. (he's not weirdly tall by elf standards if you look at the elf average height which is around six feet, but still. I like height differences. It's just so fun to draw :)
I think 'Leader in red' was the username. If it isn't I'll just edit this later :)
#The silmarillion#Maglor#Maedhros#Legolas#Thranduil#Elrond and elros#Sketchbook#Yeye#Silmarillion#Elves#Oh look my ocs are there too~#:D#Music lesson#Elros is the one yawning BTW#XD#I've been drawing a lot of elves lately#It's pretty fun#I like drawing long flowing locks~ *ahem- I like drawing long hair.#And medium short hair#Short short hair is difficult#Cause I just don't draw it as much#I wanna draw Finrod soon#Since I only connected the dots about who Mr weird short haired elf from the rings of power intro was-#Like. This week. And once I found out it was Finrod#I decided to channel my grief over his long flowing locks~ (and all the other siblings that 'disappeared/weren't there')#Into funny comparison comics.#Because what better way to direct one's passion than more fan content creation!#:D:D:D#Bettering the world one fan work at time :) (BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
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so it's been three weeks since my dog died and i basically just vacilate between working during the day and then staring at my phone at night which isn't super ideal from a mental health standpoint. i can't figure out what to do with myself, so:
#this is a weird post but maybe external pressure will motivate me and distract me from the constant urge to smash my face through a door#grief is a bitch#polls of tumblr#tumblr polls#poll time#random polls#polls#vote#poll#self care#hobbies
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.
#I’m only very rarely inclined to get this intimate w my thoughts so I might as well say it NOW butttt I will never not see the dead children#In everything I do#Like legit#I’ve read up on Hind so extensively and seen so many photos of her#And I have a very healthy relationship w the popular Palestinian journalists so she’s not my blorbo or anything#But hearing that memo destroyed me bc bisan is only 23 and she seemed so vivacious#Idk like I do normal people things I can’t just pause on my life#But idk how it feels like to sit at a boba place and enjoy my pearl milk tea w my friends#While the horrors over there don’t just lurk the back of my mind. I do normal things and I’m guilty for having the luxury#And as an Iraqi girl I’m living in the literal ideal timeline#Where my mom decided to immigrate to the us and that’s why I’m here living a normal life like everyone else#It’s like in a different world if I were born in a different time it could’ve so easily been me. I’m one of the Lucky Ones idk#It’s not survivor’s guilt bc it’s not like I had to survive anything like I never had the chance to live in Iraq or anything#But like. If some things had fallen just a little differently#And I keep thinking about how I’d feel if it were happening to Iraq and people behaved the way they’re doing to Palestinians#I’d be so mad#And some people on here are dealing w assholes while bursting at the seams w grief#For losing their loved ones#This is why I’m so fucking angry at anyone who’s complicit#This was a major tangent but basically I feel weird about doing normal things now while simultaneously knowing I can’t just sit and wallow#And watch life pass by as if it’ll do anything#Misery is not a home but I’m struggling to be 100% normal#And I think that this tonal dissonance is reflecting on my blog too bc I can’t go back to just#Posting about all the other normal things I used to. Like I want to but sometimes I feel off.#Is this anything. I haven’t slept all night#I can’t just allow myself to lose interest in everything I used to like and be and just fade away but maybe it’s about accepting that this#Will also always be a part of me now. It’s that awareness that shadows everything I do#or maybe I need a therapist it’s a toss up#I’ll probably feel better once I get my day started but this was cathartic to voice I think#p
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i have soooo much more i cld say abt him, and have explored more thru other doodles, but quick summary of talon's whole deal, which is subject to change still as he's only almost 2 yrs old as an oc
#oc text#obvs sparse description of the events bc i dont mean for it to be gratuitous#even if i decided to explore it further in some medium the focus wouldnt be gratuitous ykwim#not that there werent awful stuff within that but my focus with talon is also more exploration of like#even stuff that isnt a big deal (which it wasnt at first) can effect someone greatly#and then once it does get a bit worse the focus is still more on the effects of how he views himself and the aftermath#AS WELL AS LIKE. well. did i do this to myself? i went back. do i deserve this?#he's a lot like me and the reason i like the self insert dynamic is bc he thinks of cheye as Me If It Didnt All Go Horribly#bc ive not gone thru the Extreme but i have had interactions with ppl who very enthusiastically thought i was ummmm underage!!!#while they were already being creepy toward me and making me nervous abt my safety !#so this isnt ''he's umm 400 but looks 12 bc i want to do weird shit with him 😏'' dude drawing him Fed makes me so sad sometimes...#we're also weird eating buddies <3#and grief buddies <3 he actually further spawned out of my need to deal with a lot of family members passing away in such a short time#severe death phobia buddies...#i still dont know how he really feels about his Old Wrinkly Form btw all i know is he feels safe in it#as much as id love to sway toward ''he thinks he's hot like that. because he is.'' i also dont want to convey the wrong message wrt this#form being due to....disordered eating caused by Issues. ykwim#though! he can shapeshift quite well when he's fed and maybe he'd choose that form willingly if he ever got. Past everything#he does hate that he never gets to actually age...! he wishes he cld age normally like a mortal...(still scared of dying though)#but we cant knoww for certain yet ykwim. maybe he'll let me know soon.#my issue with talon other than i suck at plots is well he has too many of my issues. and. idk how to solve them.#he's growing with me.#oh and have we noticed he's mean to me when *im* being mean to me...MANY such metaphors#ok goodnite
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