#grass touched simulator fandom

[tothepointofinsanity]

[My Greener Grass Awaits posts have been gaining traction since yesterday…what caused the game to suddenly explode in popularity again…?]

[yellowocaballero]

In Stars and Time AU: Sif Puts The Star In Starcraft

Wow the ISAT fandom has a lot of cool AUs. That's a lot of fun! What if my extremely good buddy @lazuliquetzal theorized while playing ISAT for the first time that Sif was a fallen star? What then? What if I have unsuccessfully tried to restrain myself from talking about it?

Anyway AU where Sif is a star and also a gamer.

Sif is a hip Gen Z star who doesn't go outside nearly enough and spends all of their time playing videogames watching Earth. Their sibling Loop is always telling them to stop touching grass and to get their head back in the clouds, but they can't help it - they might miss the newest adventures of their favorite humans! Look at them, they're questing! Aren't they so cool? Isabeau just got a rare item drop!

Mirabelle and Isabeau are cool. They're brave, strong, nice, and best friends. Sif loves watching their heroic quest and cool adventures. After a while they even feel like his real friends. Eventually they start making a wish on themself - if they could only join them on their adventure! Get out of my room Loop I don't know what a parasocial relationship is.

Mirabelle is scared. Mirabelle is worrying that she's leading Isabeau on a doomed journey, that their struggle is destined to end in their deaths. She doesn't know if she can do this at all. Why her? Why not somebody more competent, more worthy? In a moment of desperation, she clasps her hands together and makes a desperate wish upon a star from the very bottom of her heart - that her party will be protected. That the Change God will send somebody to help them and keep them safe and save the world. Somebody, anybody, a little more competent than her.

Sif logs on.

Sif is a stroke of luck. Sif is mysterious, cool, and very talented. Sif can protect the whole party with a smirk on their face and a quip on their tongue. They're cool. He cheers you up, he's reliable, they're strong, and they are a treasured member of the party. They're a treasured friend. Things might be hard and scary, but with Sif there everybody breathes a little easier.

Sif loves, loves, loves being a human! The world is so fun and exciting, nothing like the boring and dreary cosmos! They have croissants, trees, friends! Being a human is great. They have an entire life on Earth, one way nicer than in the boring old sky that never changes. Sorry, Loop, they're skipping dinner, they have a World of Warcraft guild raid adventure with Mira today!

Sif has a job to do. Sif's here to grant a wish, and Sif is going to earn his place here. They protect the spirits of their friends by joking and keeping everybody hopeful. No friends get injured on their watch! Even if Sif gets hurt, that's part of the job. Bonnie's just upset about the eye because they don't know it's Sif's job as their friend to protect them. There's no point in feeding them during snacktime, so they'll patrol while you guys relax. Sif can't tell them how lonely they are or how they don't want this adventure to end, that's burdening them. They can't know that Sif's not really their friend, that they're not human, that their only point is their job - that's not protecting them. Get out of my ROOM PLANET, Loop, I'm NOT turning off the game touching space! It's not a game to them, it's their lives. Even if it'll never be Sif's.

But this adventure is drawing to a close. Mirabelle wished upon a star, and a star fell, and the star's about to grant her wish. And the star will have to log off. Even if the star wants to a be human, even if the star wants to be together forever - the game ends. Even if this ending really freaking sucks.

Why does this have to be a JRPG? Why can't it be one of the good games, the games that you can play forever and ever - like a farming/life simulator or an MMORPG or something? Where you do the same chores every day and nothing ever changes, and you're happy and safe in this little town forever? Everybody seperating at the end isn't a happy ending. Sif hates this ending. Sif hates this genre. Sif can't log off. They can't protect their friends if they log off. It's their job to protect their friends. They have to play the game right and create an ending that makes sure everybody is safe and happy and everything's perfect.

The party - Sif's family - reaches the third floor. Sif cracks open his Star AO3 account. Mirabelle unlocks the door and swings it open to find…

What's a coffee shop doing here?

[33-screaming-frogs]

For you page simulator:

Cat. Reblogged. Cat. Reblogged. Long text post about something only this person cares about. Blocked. Reposted art. Blocked. Reposted art. Blocked. Disgusting ad for a puzzle game. Reported. Someone's boring blazed selfie. Blocked. The most beautiful painting you've ever seen and it's lesbians. Followed. Porn bot. Reported. Porn bot. Reported. Scam post asking if you want to work for fedex. Reported. Cat. Reblogged. Puppy video. Reblogged. Picture of a seal. Horrible ad for a puzzle game. Gratuitous pictures of that pygmy hippo baby. Reblogged. Some fandom shit you dont care about. Blocked. Someone's american cartoon fetish art. Blocked. Beautiful drawing of your faves. Like, reblog, follow. Super horny art of your fave. Like, follow, reblog 10 times. Abhorrent ad for puzzle game. Reported. Blazed porn bot. Reported. Shitty reposted meme. Blocked. Fandom drama for people who dont touch grass. Blocked. Adorable kitty video. Reblogged. Cool indie game. Downloaded. Mutual reblogging pathetic meow meow old man. Reblog in solidarity.

[nuttytani]

Farewell, My Dear Boomer Lord

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Pairing: Tartaglia | Childe x Zhongli and Xiao x Aether

Premise: Genshin Impact is back with a new addition to their movie franchise, with a talented and an exciting cast. What are you waiting for? Come find out who they are!

A/N: This is a social media au fic, except in text form... Just crossposting it from my ao3 (which you can read it here if you'd like!!)

next chapter

Ch. 1 Breaking news! Farewell Archaic Lord to be released!!!

Genshin ✓ .  @ genshinimpact 

Who’s ready for the upcoming Liyue Arc? Get ready for the premiere of the movie, Farewell Archaic Lord on the 20th of January! Stay tuned to meet new characters. 

[ Attached : A movie poster with the Traveler wearing a white and yellow hanfu. Behind him are 2 looming figures in the back. One with bright ginger hair and the other a brunet. ] 

|  emily . @ meetemaaaa

Oh my god

| Jared . @ uuu2345

OMG

| Lemons . @ lifegivesyoulemons

Omg omg omg-

| HELLCAT . @ timmiespigeons

IT’S OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!

| Trailblazer . @ stelleeeeeee

DHIUHDIUEWHDIUHDEW GUYS GUYS GUYS, THE LIYUE ARC IS COMING OUT SOON OMG

|  xingqi . @ notanpc

Those dudes at THE BACK MARRY MEEEEEEEEEEE YAYAYAYAYAAY

|  Charlotte . @ therealcharlotte

FUUUUUUCK STEP ON ME DADDY- ESPECIALLY THE DUDE WITH THOSE GOLDEN EYES OMG HE LOOKS HOT DILF 

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Paimon ✓ .  @ paimonispaimon

Welcome, newcomers to the Genshin Impact fandom! Wondering what in tarnation this new Liyue Arc is? When and where can you watch this movie? Are there any previous parts? Well, look no further as I, Paimon, shall tell you everything that you need to know.

Genshin Impact is a fantasy movie series that follows the journey of its main protagonist, beginning with the first part titled "The Outlander Who Caught the Wind" (Mondstadt Arc for short) and now includes a follow up story called “Farewell Archaic Lord” (Liyue arc for short).

Traveler, who is the main protagonist, is thrown into a foreign universe and sets out to find his lost twin sister. As the story progresses, the traveler finds himself wrapped up in the troubles of each nation that he sets foot on (Quite the sorry fellow, don’t you think? He just wants to find his sister…). Each movie is and will be based on the nations that the traveler has been to and the nefarious plotting of villains. The storyline centres on the nations visited by the Traveler and the people that he meets along the way. I won't reveal any spoilers, so that's all I'll say for now. 

Unfortunately, as of this post, the Liyue arc has not yet been released — but in the meantime, why not have a look at the first movie? It is currently available on official streaming sites such as Hoyoflix, Adventurer+, Simulation World Prime Video and many more! And aren’t you the luckiest people, the Mondstadt arc is actually being played in the cinemas for next two weeks! Go grab your tickets now~

| Trailblazer . @ Stelleeeeeee

Ummmm you’ve literally mentioned nothing about the Liyue arc tho- “imma tell you all the things that you need to know” pffft 

| Caribert . @ dontlookinthemirror

replying to @ Stelleeeeeee 

OP doesn’t want to spoil the story for the newcomers, read properly before commenting smh. Plus, the movie isn’t even out yet??? What the hell is OP going to talk about??? Go touch some grass

| Pompom ✓  . @ conductorpompom 

Replying to @ dontlookinthemirror

The previous commenter is only joking, calm down 

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Genshin ✓ .  @ genshinimpact 

First teaser out for “Farewell Archaic Lord!”

[ Attached : Link for the teaser, thumbnail depicts a ginger man with long hair, wearing a beautiful black and red hanfu. He is holding blades made of translucent, water-like daggers. ]

—

Katherine ✓ .  @ yourfavrobot

TEASER FOR THE LIYUE ARC IS OUT, LET’S BREAK IT DOWN, FELLOW COMRADES! (for those who can’t watch the video, don't worry, I got your back.)

First off, we see the traveler setting foot in Liyue and he wanders around. The locals are all flocking to the central area, some kind of a big incense is placed down and we see a few prominent figures surrounding it and bringing offerings. No names yet for the figures, but we have learned that one of them is referred to as the Tianquan (a lady with silver hair, wearing luxurious golden and phoenix patterned hanfu).

Scene cuts to ocean waves roaring down the wharf of Liyue like crazy (tsunami level crazy) while a man with weirdly glinting golden eyes, clad in dark brown and gold robes, sits on a dainty little seat and drinks his tea, amidst all the chaos. Mister - idk but why are you drinking tea in the middle of a natural disaster??? Questions, so many questions...

Scene cuts again, to a young man with ginger hair, wearing black and red hanfu (super pretty guy btw just who is the actor???). He swiftly moves around to give us a cheeky smile, teeth and all, and summons.. WATER BLADES! HE SUMMONS WATER BLADES! How is that even possible?! (movie logic ofc). 

All in all, I’m left with even more questions. The golden-eyed man seems suspicious - and so does the man with the ginger hair. Both dangerously pretty btw. 

| capybara. @ capybararara

This is definitely a teaser alright. Who are these actors? I need to know. Just look at them. I mean Mondstadt also had super pretty people like that cavalry captain with the eyepatch but BUT OOOOOOOH I SEE SO MANY MOMMIES HERE I LOVE I LOVE. 

| Otto . @ imnotluocha

Liyue basically feels like some xianxia au lol, not that I’m complaining. Look at all those impractical fanservice hanfu. That dude with ginger hair looks impeccable, also, why does he give off dangerous vibes?? Please don’t be a villain 

| Qingque . @ slackingoff

replying to @ imnotluocha

Yes villain. I’m all for sexy villains here.

| Kusogaki . @ i_am_god

Why is no one talking about the strange brunet? He could also be a villain, I mean look at those eyes. It doesn’t feel normal. Plus HE WAS DRINKING TEA IN A MIDDLE OF TSUNAMI. I don’t know if he is dumb or fears no one, not even nature.

| Trailblazer . @ Stelleeeeeee

YESSSSS TRAVELER IS WEARING HANFU TOO OMG OMG. I MEAN IT’S ALSO ON THE POSTER BUT HURRAHHHH HOT TRAVELER LESGOOOOOO AND OMG WHO IS THAT PRETTY LADY WITH BABY BLUE HAIR, OMG THAT SKIN TIGHT BLACK SUIT? Hoyo going wildddddd and all out ay? I’m all for it.

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Paimon ✓ .  @ paimonispaimon

Hello once again, my fellow friends! The major casting of the Liyue arc has been revealed, so let’s get down to business!

It is already confirmed that Aether will continue to play the role of the protagonist in the upcoming movie, Farewell Archaic Lord. For those unaware of Aether, he was a minor character in “Across the Skies and Stars” and gained popularity for his appearance in the first movie of Genshin Impact. He is active on social media and shares photos of himself, behind-the-scenes clips, and food. You can check out his profile here. 

—

[Attached : A clip featuring Aether flashing a peace sign and looking back] 

In an attempt to cheer up Xiao, who appears to be in a bad mood, the blond urges him to smile for the camera. According to Aether, they are both feeling hungry since they haven't eaten anything yet.

“How about we get some almond tofu?”

Xiao visibly brightens up.

—

We also have some great news! Xiao will also be part of the Liyue arc, marking his return from a 3 year acting break. For those who may not be familiar with him (how and why?), Xiao was the lead actor in Immortality and previously collaborated with actor/singer Venti on a few singles.

There are three talented actresses who will be joining the Liyue arc cast. Ganyu, Keqing, and Ninnguang. They are well known for their appearances in popular wuxia and xianxia dramas, such as Crimson Rain, My Fan Against Your Lips, and The Benevolent Shizun. You may have seen one of these well-known movies. Unfortunately, Ganyu and Ninnguang do not have public social media accounts, but Keqing is quite active. If you're interested, you can find her account here, where she mostly uploads vlogs.

—

[ Attached : in the video, the ladies can be seen sitting together while holding delicate clay tea cups. They are all dressed in stunning pastel-coloured robes with intricate embroidery. 

Ganyu

Mmh the tea is good! It goes well with the mooncakes.

Kenqing 

Tea hits the best after work, oh lord, that was such a long set.

Ninnguang 

Well, get your energy back because, after this, I've heard that we’re shooting till night.

The other two gasp in horror and quickly chug down their tea and stuff down mooncakes 

—

Now, the long-awaited Mr. two hot guys behind the Traveler. On the left, we have Ajax and on the right, Zhongli. 

[ Attached : A selfie of Ajax and Zhongli, they are both wearing their signature hanfu from the movie poster and have their arms around each other, smiling at the camera ] 

Both actors will be playing an important role in the movie. Of what? We do not know. You'll have to watch it to find out! 

Zhongli is a well-respected, world-renowned actor. He has won numerous awards for being the best lead and side actor — more than I could count with all my fingers combined! He recently starred in the box office hit called “The Legend of Nirvana” 

[ Attached : A clip, in which you can hear Ganyu and Xiao cheering for Zhongli as he walks up on the stage to accept the Oscar award ]

Ajax, on the other hand, is a member of the trio idol group, 68-11, and has no previous acting skills. However, his colleagues pushed him to at least audition for the Liyue Arc movie and he luckily landed a role. According to insider news, he brought the character to life and was what they envisioned of the character that he would be playing. 

If you're interested in finding out more about 68-11's music, you can check out the group here. Some of their popular releases are "Never-ending Performance" and "Ominous Fandango".  They’ll also be holding a concert in the coming month, so grab your tickets fast before they sell out!! 

[ Attached : A picture of Ajax signing an autograph for a fan while his colleague Kabu is mischievously seen making bunny ears behind the ginger's head ] 

We hope that this gave you some basic info about the new casting! Can't wait to see these talented actors on the screen. 

| Trailblazer . @ Stelleeeeeee

Thank you for the incredibly detailed post! Now watch me follow every single one of them, like and reblog every single post. Gosh they’re all so pretty.  Miss Ganyu tho, oh- she can step on me and I’d be so happy for it. 

Btw I’m watching Miss Keqing’s vlog as I type, SHE’S SO CUTE CUTE CUTE OMG gives me cat girl vibes istg

| March . @ nanokamadoka

Replying to @ Stelleeeeeee

Simp. Get a life 

| Albert . @ diehardfan

OMG BABY AJAX WILL BE IN THIS MOVIE!????? 68-11 fans, ASSEMBLE ALL!

#68-11 #ajax #kabu #rosaline 

| Tian . @ irontonguetian

I’ve been following Mr. Zhongli since his debut movie. It is so lovely to see him grow and be loved far and wide. Fighting! Mr. Zhongli! We love you!!!

| little luo . @ xiaoluo

Xiao is back from his hiatus! That’s such good news, awe. Missed seeing him so much! 

| Aether ✓ . @ aetherviator

I’m excited for the movie too! I hope you all enjoy it, as much as we all enjoyed acting for it :) 

| maricotta . @ idekat-thispoint

Replying to @ aetherviator 

OMG AETHER!??? WAAAA TT WHO SUMMONED HIM HERE, GUYS STOP, AND ACT DECENT IN THE COMMENTS PLEASE

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Spiral Abyss ✓ .  @ abyssalmoon

Premiere day of “Farewell Archaic Lord”. #GenshinImpact #Liyue Arc 

Lady Ninnguang “No words to explain how I feel today, we worked hard and at last, it’s here!” 

[ Attached : A clip of Lady Ninnguang speaking about her feelings on this memorable day. She looks absolutely stunning in her golden and white qipao ]

—

Welt Yang ✓ . @ mryang 

Had the opportunity to speak with Aether and Xiao on the premiere day of Farewell Archaic Lord. Wonderful actors filled with passion, I had a lovely time speaking with you both 

—

[ Attached : clip plays in which Aether and Xiao converse happily with Mr. Yang. Both the actors have donned a classic black tuxedo, looking impeccable as always ]

Aether

I hope they keep that scene 

Xiao 

Which scene?

Aether

You know, that one (does the eyebrow waggle) 

Welt

I’m afraid, I do not follow ???

Xiao

Oh don’t worry too much about it (Sighs and looks away. His ears have turned slightly red.)

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Katherine ✓ .  @ yourfavrobot

So, many clips have been going around because of the premiere day of Liyue Arc. I, Katheryne, was able to speak with at least the majority of the cast members who were invited!! Have a look here, it’s now uploaded on my SeelieTube here

| Albert . @ diehardfan

Katherine is doing the real work here. Thank you for the food!

| Dan Heng . @ notdanfeng

Uhhh so, who else noticed the chemistry between Zhongli and Ajax ??? I mean, not to be a weirdo and no I have not been staring at their interactions for too long, it’s just a bit obvious that they’re… Ogling at each other???? Well, they both do look absolutely hot in their hanfus

| little luo . @ xiaoluo

You’re not the only one. But notice that the same goes for Xiao and Aether. These boys are barely able to keep their eyes and hands to themselves, smh. GET A ROOM, GET A ROOM!!!!

| Lumine ✓ . @ lumineviatrix

Replying to @ notdanfeng @ xiaoluo 

Yall got potatoes for eyes? Did you NOT see lady Ninnguang giving bedroom eyes at that eyepatch lady (that’s Beidou btw, for those who don’t know her)??? HELLO DUDES, PLEASE GET A ROOM, THIS IS WORSE THAN PDA 

| Caelus . @ IM_TRAILBLAZER_NOT_HER

Replying to @ lumineviatrix

First Aether, now Lumine too??? Helloooo where are you when there’s actual fun @ stelleeeeeee???

| Ajax ✓ . @ ajax11th

You know it’s serious when Lumine comments- 

| Albert . @ diehardfan

OMG IT’S AJAX!!! ASSEMBLE, 68-11!!

| Kabu ✓ . @ kabuki6th

Replying to @ ajax11th 

I think you just summoned our entire fanbase right here, dude 

| Rosaline ✓ . @ rosaline8th

Replying to @ kabuki6th 

Not that it’s a bad thing, but time to mute notifications. Not that mine weren’t on mute already. But you and Ajax should consider

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Trending 

#GenshinImpact 

13.7k posts

#get a room 

16.5k posts

#FarewellArchaicLord

#Lumine

Rosaline ✓ . @ rosaline8th

Why hello, little ones! I’ve noticed a sudden influx of followers recently, Idk where all of you are coming from but thank you for your kind words and support! And if you’re feeling extra generous, go shower Ajax with love because FAREWELL ARCHAIC LORD IS OUT IN THEATRES TODAY!!! 

| Keqing ✓ . @ keqing_night

PREACH 

| Aether ✓ . @ aetherviator

PREACH

| Xiao ✓ . @ almondxiao

… preach 

| Zhongli ✓ . @ zhongliballista

Preach ??? What’s preach ???

| Lumine ✓ . @ lumineviatrix

Replying to @ zhongliballista

YES, PREACH, GRANDPA!

| Xiao ✓ . @ almondxiao

Replying to @ zhongliballista 

You use the word “preach” when you feel the need to acknowledge or are in agreement of something that is well said

| Zhongli ✓ . @ zhongliballista

Replying to @ almondxiao 

Oh…I see… PREACH!

| Ajax ✓ . @ ajax11th

Replying to @ zhongliballista 

xD PREACH !!

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Paimon ✓ .  @ paimonispaimon

CONGRATULATIONS CONGRATULATIONS CONGRATULATIONS!!! Important things must be said three times!! 

FAREWELL ARCHAIC LORD IS NOW AVAILABLE IN THEATRES, GRAB THOSE SEATS NOW, BEFORE THEY’RE ALL RESERVED (if they aren’t already) 

| Katherine ✓ .  @ yourfavrobot

One word. PREACH 

| Caelus . @ IM_TRAILBLAZER_NOT_HER

I’m taking my entire fam alright!!!

| Caelus . @ IM_TRAILBLAZER_NOT_HER

FUCK THE SEATS ARE ALL GONE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

| Trailblazer . @ Stelleeeeeee

Replying to @ IM_TRAILBLAZER_NOT_HER

That’s what you get for being slow, lol, loser 

| Dan Heng . @ notdanfeng

Replying to @ IM_TRAILBLAZER_NOT_HER

Calm down, @ Stelleeeeeee already booked them in advance for us 

| little luo . @ xiaoluo

YESSSS IT’S OUT, GRANNY AND I ARE GOING TOGETHER WAHAHAHAHA

| Tian . @ irontonguetian

We all have been waiting for today, happy Liyue Arc watching everyone! Now… How to convince Master Liu Su to join me… Hmmmmm 

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Trending 

#FarewellArchaicLord 

40.6k posts

#GenshinImpact

38.2k posts

#PREACH

#whatspreach?

Trailblazer . @ Stelleeeeeee

That ending… was quite unexpected. Salt… And… Betrayal, how cruel

But other than that, what’s up with all the gay coded liyue characters??? That was a real surprise honestly, a pleasant one, of course. Bet it’ll be filled with certain clips once everyone catches on. 

| Keqing ✓ . @ keqing_night

:)))) gay coded? What do you mean ???

[ Attached : Image of the main Liyue arc cast, grinning like crazy ] 

—

It had been a couple of days since the movie was released in the theatres, and a few of the available cast were having a sleepover as a celebration for their hard work. Unfortunately, Ganyu, Ninnguang and Ajax were busy with some other projects and had to skip out on the get together. 

To pass the time, they were all catching up on reviews and comments left by the fans. One comment, in particular, caught their attention. "Uhhh Just me or did you guys notice Morax staring at Tartaglia's big cake... was that included in the script orrrrrr???" Everyone burst out laughing, with some even snorting and cackling.

Keqing, however, looked exasperated as she addressed the person in question. "Mr. Zhongli, you should have been more subtle, at least."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. What big cake? There was no cake anywhere in the movie," Zhongli replied with a huff.

Aether chimed in, "At this point, I wonder if you really are a boomer or if you're just acting innocent."

To which, the blond received an immediate smack on the head for his comment. The room fell silent before erupting in another round of cackling.

[drnecolii]

My introduction!!! [EDITED POOKS ; 16/04/2024]

Hi hi my name is Nicky!! I'm 14 y.o., I use any pronouns, I am genderfluid (generally pretty flexible with my gender identity/presentation) & bisexual (with a preference for men), I'm a multifandom account but I mainly just write random shit here when I'm bored hehe

Fandoms : Sally Face, Kindergarten, Yandere Simulator (I do NOT support Yandere Dev in any way), Monster High, My Little Pony, Black Butler, Vampire Hunter D, Trinity Blood, Harry Potter (I do NOT support J.K. Rowling in any way), Hazbin Hotel (I do NOT support VivziePop in any way), John Doe, Purple ; Director's Cut, Marble Hornets, Creepypasta, FNAF, The Walten Files, The Mandela Catalogue, Undertale, Deltarune, nomnomnami's games, AND MANY MORE!!!

Music : SOAD, Exist Trace, Dadaroma, Korn, Theory of a Deadman, Buck Tick, Weird Al Yankovic, Freshy Kanal, Skindred, Vocaloid, I overall listen to everything but I tend to listen to vkei, goth music, rock, metal, vocaloid, parody music and polka :DD

Edit : FREE PALESTINE. 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

DNI :

General DNI list, just be nice and respectful and everything is gonna be alright

Inspired by @marmalade-chainsaw rah (hope you don't mind pook)

Socials :

Instagram : dr.necoli

Twitter : DinkyNicky02 // Dr.Necoli

Discord : dr.necoli (feel free to add me if you wanna be my friend or overall just chat!!!)

Edit; Adding my tags!!!

#nicky get off tumblr ; this is under pretty much every single post I make, it's kind of like my signature (I called it "Nicky get off tumblr" as a reminder to myself to go touch some grass /j)

#goofy ; I am very much goofy (/hj) so I put this as another type of signature under my posts, unless of course I'm addressing a serious topic

#asks with nicky ; tag which I use whenever I answer any asks I may receive in my inbox (feel free to ask me anything you want unless it has to do with private/personal information and extreme topics!!!)

[starlight-time-machine]

Week in Review

04/21/2024 – 04/27/2024

Sunday

Week 11 of missing Cipher Academy

Girl Meets Rock good. Seems like the dynamics of the social web are about to shift again, with a rift growing between Takami and Ayame…

Undead Unluck super good…Feng getting stronger is a little scary, because if he ever manages to defeat Fuuko I fear that he’ll want to destroy everything in his pursuit of strength again…but also I want to believe in the connections he’s built with others in this loop…Ichico turning the previous loop’s tragedy on its head to change Nico’s version of Unforgettable is an amazing moment, though I can’t help but feel really sad for Nico regardless…Unforgettable is such a mind crushing ability even without the wife death thing, and I guess the implication here is that he held onto his sanity because of Ichico’s confession but I hope there’s some way for him to better cope with things in this loop…I’ve been really enjoying the fun and cheerful Nico we’ve been seeing so far, and I’d hate for him to just immediately revert back to his crotchety old man self from the last loop.

Monday

Touched some grass and ate some pizza

Tuesday

It’s time to get through some of these library books, the first being The Diamond Girls by Jacqueline Wilson. It’s one that I distinctly remember reading as a kid, and I think I still quite like it, reading today. It’s definitely my favourite of the three Wilson books I’ve read so far – I like the utter and overwhelming chaos that the story immediately throws us into, and even when it gives us some room for respite with the Mary segments, the nature of her living situation is so terrifying that it’s honestly like a horror movie. Dixie’s voice as a narrator is strong and distinct, and I like that you can still tell that she’s a dreamy little kid being put into these stressful situations. Some of the characterization got a little bit tiring, but I did appreciate Wilson subverting some of it by the end, like with Ryan turning out to be a decent-ish guy (still way too old for Rochelle though) and Jude actually becoming friends with the boys. Bruce was a nice character with a heart of gold, but I thought he got a little too attached to the Diamonds a little too quickly…although I guess if I were in his situation I wouldn’t want to turn a blind eye to them either. But immediately proclaiming that you’d like to be some kid’s uncle and stay in her life even though she’s just the estranged daughter of one of your clients is a little weird… Things got wrapped up a little too quickly too, by the end, but I think that’s Wilson’s trademark – just 95% stress and drama before a perfect happy ending, and I can’t really fault her for that.

Ummm Manga Tuesday I guess, which is just in time for the new Chainsaw Man chapter. As usual, I have no thoughts on it – I feel like I won’t be able to tell what’s going on in Part 2 until it ends and I can reread the whole thing from start to finish. Structurally I think I like Part 1 a lot more…

Dandadan good.

Took a break to watch the latest Game Changer episode while I ate lunch and wow I loved the chaos and the way it somehow accurately simulated people going insane in a time loop. All the bribery was fun, as was the contestants starting to say the scripted lines as they were being said by the other presenters. I also love how this continues to spur on the conspiracy theories that the fandom is cooking, and I really do hope there’s some multi-episode foreshadowed twist by the end.

Magilumiere good! Everything’s really coming together now.

One Piece good…I’m nervous for what’s to come.

Wednesday

Ah

Thursday

Very good episode of DunMesh today (with a side of meatballs). Loved all the action, especially with how brutal it could get due to the rules of the dungeon. Kabru doing all his little machinations in his mind was fun, as was him getting the sneak attack on Falin. The Laios and Shuro confrontation was also interesting and revealing of character, but I feel like everything about DunMesh’s writing has been talked to death already so I don’t want to just repeat what I’ve seen on Twitter. My general DunMesh thoughts are just that Ryoko Kui obviously has the writing chops to construct an absolutely original and airtight story, and it’s just fun to be a part of the ride.

Friday

I’ve been in the mood for some TV, and also wanted to pare down my watchlist a little, so I decided to check out Sharp Objects. I’ve heard good things about it and I like small town mystery stories, so I thought I’d like this one too…but the first episode just annoyed me so much that I dropped it right away and read the series synopsis on Wikipedia lmao. Everything about it was just so…screenwriting 101? In the sense that it was like they were checking off bullet points from a How to Write a Screenplay textbook; the tortured protagonist with substance abuse issues returning to their hometown to literally and figuratively confront their past is already well-trod ground as it is, but then every line of dialogue was so basic and boring and acted with all the enthusiasm of a mannequin going through the motions. At first I was wondering if the stock dialogue was some sort of tool being employed by the writers, like a metatextual façade being purposely put up for the sake of the mystery, but no it’s just how it is and I hate it. And judging by the Wikipedia summary that I read, I definitely would’ve hated watching the story progress and the ending, so I’m glad I can just write this one off.

The next show I tried was This is a Robbery, that Netflix documentary about the Gardner Museum art heist. I only got through half of it today, and it’s pretty…standard, I would say. You’ve got the dramatic graphic design and the million interviews and the goofy ass re-enactments of what happened (I know why documentaries do them but it doesn’t stop them from being silly as hell) – just the basic Netflix hyperproduced documentary flair with a dash of being high on its own supply in terms of drama. I thought I would like this documentary because I somewhat enjoy true crime but not the intrusive “accidentally ruin people’s lives due to media attention” kind, so an art heist felt like a nice middle ground between being interesting but still somewhat low stakes…but so far, it’s been pretty slow-moving and meandering and I wish they’d get to the point already.

Saturday

LMAO okay so the reason why This is a Robbery was so meandering and chasing all these dead ends was because there’s no real ending to this story, and I’m so mad that I wasted four hours of my life on this stupid shit. I guess I should’ve looked it up beforehand but I didn’t want to be spoiled…I kind of assumed that if they were making a whole documentary about it, there was going to be an interesting story or narrative to be told…but no, it was just an overproduced publicity stunt to get more attention on the case… They spent so much time interviewing all these people (LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE POINT OF GETTING A WHOLE EX-IRA GUY JUST TO SAY A FEW LINES AND “YEAH IT WASN’T US” BRO ALLOCATE YOUR RESOURCES BETTER PLEASE) and going into the granular details of the case and possible theories about the suspects and their whole organized crime web and I thought it was all going to tie together somehow or be in service of some grand narrative but no!!! This documentary has zero storytelling weight and really shouldn’t have come into existence. All it did was highlight how dogshit the FBI and the police really are. I just wanted some answers and to see how the heist was actually carried out, but I guess real life is rarely as interesting and narratively satisfying as Ocean’s Eleven. I’m giving this thing a 1/10 for annoying me so much and wasting my goddamn time.

Agh…most of the TV shows I’ve watched recently have been duds… This isn’t helping my irrational fear that I won’t find anything that’ll reach Succession’s heights ever again… Granted, I only finished This is a Robbery because I thought there’d be some sort of payoff by the end, but I need to be more discerning with which recommendations I should actually follow through on in the future.

[otterpedia]

I think I'm gacha fatigued. I played quite a few games with gachas in them this year and after having my soul crushed repeatedly by my crappy pulls in DTW while my friends and my wife pulled characters I desperately wanted and gleefully showed them off to me (which is valid, and I'm genuinely excited for them too), I decided to reexamine why I was even playing some of these.

I want to begin by making it absolutely clear that I know gachas are gambling. I am aware of my gambling addiction, which I'm pretty sure is equal parts hereditary on my mother's side as well as a kind of mind game these activities trick your brain into. I have a lootbox problem and I am especially vulnerable to costume collecting.

I saved up tons and tons of gems or orbs or tickets or whatever for this game and that game, and because one game in particular had such powerful hooks in me, I didn't notice that my expectations for every other gacha were unrealistic.

I spent actual, real-world money that I needed for new clothes or a haircut or funds for going out and touching some fucking grass on the teeny tiny chance that I could get just one more character or costume or event prize for my digital harem simulator or whatever.

I like to collect things. (Hoarding is also a genetic failing on my mother's side, come to think of it.)

That's why these games are so dangerous in my opinion. I'm glad I don't like any other form of gambling games, and that cute anime girls were the motivation instead of the temporary thrill of winning.

Genshin Impact appealed to me because it felt like a "real" game that just so happened to have a gacha. The way the odds worked for the banners were also very F2P friendly, or so I told myself, with a guaranteed 4-star character or weapon every ten pulls.

The story was robust and the music was gorgeous. The fandom seemed pretty chill in my little corner of the internet, though I did hear the occasional rumblings of shipping drama. I read quite a few fanfics that were cute or funny or even spicy. It was a nice break from other games, or something interesting to do when Final Fantasy XIV had longer maintenance periods and I was anxiously waiting to log back in.

I truly love the world of the game still, even though I haven't played in probably at least a month and a half. I was super hyped for Sumeru, and I pulled my favorite character on my birthday last year.

That being said, I wrongfully assumed the new area in Genshin Impact would make me feel as before. The newest chapter of the main story dropped last week I think and I barely even noticed.

I felt nothing.

There were adorable cat people and steampunk elements and underwater exploration things and I. Felt. Nothing.

I decided that was enough of a reason to quit the game. If I'm not emotionally invested anymore, then why keep playing? I tried to quit before a couple times, but then I convinced myself that it had become a money sink, an investment.

That's not how games should make me feel.

Logging in started to feel like a chore. Grinding for ascension materials or talent scrolls or artifacts was tedious and boring. There were too many characters to keep track of, and they kept adding more and more stupid gimmicks. If I missed even one day of an event I wouldn't be able to finish it in time and receive rewards that would never come around again.

If I didn't log in, I told myself, I would get left behind by the friends I play co-op with. I would waste everyone's time because they would have to go back and redo stuff because I was lagging behind again because I play a lot of other games besides this one.

If I stop playing, I can't stay in the discord server we made for Genshin and I can't see all the funny memes and cool screenshots and drawings and fanfic recommendations.

Somehow I convinced myself that I had to keep playing this game that no longer held my interest or made me happy because if I didn't, then I'm letting my friends down.

This isn't the case, of course, but my brain likes to bully my heart a lot. I'm not letting anybody down. If anything, Genshin Impact has let me down. I have the power to uninstall the stupid thing and never touch it again. It's my damn computer, my phone, my life!

I like Genshin Impact still, but I don't play it anymore. If my friends are disappointed by that, that's okay. They're not disappointed in me, hell, they probably sympathize with my disappointment in the game because they are my friends, duh.

There's no reason to stress myself out over this. Which is why I needed to just write it out and be done with it.

So, there you have it.

I'm excited that my friends are excited, and that's good enough for me right now. If that changes in the future, then I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

And if my friends come across this post, I just want to say:

Thanks for playing with me, you guys! ❤️

[enrychan]

Burakovsky fanfiction recs

ok so I read every single Burakovsky fanfic on AO3 (no, really) and I started thinking about writing down a list of those I particularly appreciate. because the Patho fandom is tiny, and the Burakovsky fandom is even tinier, but there are a lot of incredible talents in it, and they deserve all the recognition we can muster.

I apologize to those who did not make it into this list, unfortunately I can’t read Russian (for now... that might change in the future😏) AND I have very specific tastes. Which is why some authors are repeated more than once (sorry!). Also I’m following at least a couple of beautiful fanfics that are currently unfinished, and I’m probably gonna include those in the next list.

You’re all extremely talented though, and I hope to read more of your works very soon (do I refresh the Burakovsky tag each day? yes I do)

anyway here’s my list, in no particular order! Enjoy all the love, hate, death and philosophy!🥰

In Vivo by meradorm. After a long silence, the Haruspex travels to the capital to seek out his old companion.

Arguably the best fanfics in the Patho fandom; and one of the best fanfics I’ve ever read. The writing style simulates the first translation of Patho Classic, which was weird and sometimes almost incomprehensible, but somehow it enhanced the odd, alien experience of the first game. Using this particular and sometimes difficult language, this fanfic gives the impression of being an integral part of the original story. The characters and the love story are beautiful and raw, sweet and cruel, and the ending is so... so perfectly Pathologic it makes me angry. Prepare lots&lots of tissues because you’re gonna cry your eyes out!

How cleverly the trap is made by Modlisznik. "My apologies." Daniil clears his throat. "Usually I reserve views like this for at least fourth, maybe fifth date."

Ok yes I’m going to recommend a lot of fanfics by Modlisznik, I just really really like their style. This is one of my favorites because Daniil is so in character, trying his best to appear strong even while in pain and almost blind with one of his migraines... and I’m always weak for Artemy being sweet and caring for Daniil. Just *chef’s kiss* excellent

Of the Town and the Steppe by Modlisznik. Artemy wonders how Daniil feels about this vastness, autumnal grass as far as the eye can see, the sky so clear, hanging so low, so close you can almost touch it, you can almost get swallowed whole. Insignificant, a little speckle on the face of Earth. Daniil is a creature of the city, Artemy thinks, of clear boundaries, of walls to hide behind, of places to be alone in. He must feel exposed. I'm a bad host, Artemy thinks.

Just a romantic, intimate moment between our two idiots out in the steppe. Daniil imagining all the places in the Capital he would like to show Artemy is so unbearably sweet I think I’ve cavities now. Totally worth it though.

All about Blood by Modlisznik. Daniil is aware that Isidor has been murdered just a few days ago. That his memory is still fresh, his touch lingers in this place. That Daniil, an intruder, shouldn't come down here to Isidor’s workshop - his laboratory - his sanctum - and most certainly, he shouldn't be here to fuck Isidor’s son. Even less, to use the elder Burakh's table for that purpose. He's aware of that. He also doesn't care.

Hot damn. This fanfics pushes all my buttons at once and then dances on the keyboard just to be sure. Artemy/Daniil kinky sex? Check. On the stone table in Artemy’s lab? Check. Subtle power games between the two? Check. Artemy marking Daniil with his blood? Check. A sprinkle of bondage just to spice things up a bit? Check. Um... is it just me or it’s kind of hot in here?

The Line of Red by Modlisznik. Bachelor Dankovsky does not believe in luck. Artemy wants him to understand, that the charm he's offering will protect him - just not in the way Daniil thinks it does.

Another sweet moment brought to you by or Official Sweetheart Artemy Burakh: Artemy wants to give Daniil something to remind him that he’s not alone, even in his darkest moments, that Artemy is his tagloor. Daniil doesn’t understand all that steppe folklore, but recognizes a precious gift when he’s given one.

Something old, something new by Modlisznik. In which Artemy considers the importance of not being watched, and Murky's doll needs urgent medical attention.

Just an adorable fanfic and a joy to read from start to finish. Artemy is best dad, Murky is best daughter, Daniil is back with a new title, and I’m always ready for some teary-eyed happy reunions.

Bloodflood by Xyloto. A flood of blood to the heart.

Artemy is used to be on top, and the relative new experience of being on the receiving end doesn’t start particularly well for him, but he is determined to let Daniil have what he wants. Daniil has other ideas on the matter. I have a thing for “top that bottoms for his bottom”, and especially in this case because this fanfic is written beautifully. It keeps all the more abrasive traits of Artemy’s personality&speech, while remaining very sweet and romantic somehow.

A Curse Befalls Your Heart by CurrieBelle. Daniil Dankovsky suffers from a Steppe curse. Burakh performs triage.

Speaking of sweet and romantic, are you ready for a good bucket of literal honey? This is my comfort fanfic, the one I return to every once in a while when I need something soft and lovely to shut off my brain. Not only that, but the story is awesome too, because it is based on an actual canon curse in the Patho lore. Remember when Anna Angel was cursed with the “returning heart” in Patho 2? What if something similar happened to Daniil? Luckily, Artemy is there to help.

Ode to the Body by kylee. In which Bachelor and Haruspex flatter each other shamelessly.

The Powers That Be have always destroyed Daniil’s self esteem by reducing him to a list of failures. Artemy wants him to understand that he’s not just his failures, nor his accomplishments, but so much more. Sex ensues. Praise kink anyone??? (yes please)

life overflowing by Yellow. Artemy needs someone to look at what he's done, to see he's done well, to take over for him, his head and his heart. just for a little while.

This is both lovely and kind of heartbreaking, with some suicidal tendencies/ideation? I feel it is completely appropriate after all Artemy has gone through by this point in the story. But Daniil doesn’t have any intention of letting him go.

Vae Soli by Adoxography. Daniil becomes Artemy's unwilling caretaker when Artemy is infected with the Sand Pest and is forced to take a Shmowder to cure himself, or die in the attempt.

There are a lot of sick fics in the Patho fandom (obviously), but I particularly love this one because it doesn’t embellish the pitiful state of Artemy, caught between two terrible ailments, nor makes Daniil appear too soft and generous. There is rivalry between the two idiots (as it should be), but also trust and even some attraction on Daniil’s part. In other words, it rings true and believable!

sub derma by Jagged. Dankovsky takes to the Town better than he thinks, but less than he'd like. Artemy would know.

Super sexy fanfic! dom!Daniil turns Artemy on with some pain play which Artemy is only too happy to be subjected to. I just love the power dynamic between the two, it’s visceral and even a little bit cruel at times, but the absolute trust they have in each other makes everything weirdly romantic.

foreign bodies by hoverbun. They have some time to themselves between dissections and the sharing of alms.

So it turns out that I also have a Thing for fics about shaving. apparently??? Artemy has some free time and a beard to get rid of. He asks Daniil for help with that. And everyone knows there are few things sexier than a hot doctor with a very sharp blade pointed at your throat!

I hope you blink before I do by vespirus. Maybe he was fated to gravitate towards men like these; the men with loose morals, the men who understood what it meant to be an arbiter of life and death decisions, the men who felt the weight of the future on their shoulders. Or maybe he just had an inescapable interest in the macabre.

AU fanfic about Daniil as an unscrupulous researcher and Artemy as a medical undergraduate willing to kill to make enough money to keep living and studying in the Capital. In other words they are both horrible people, and the tension between them is so thick you could slice it with a knife. There also a sequel, but it’s a death fic and I personally don’t like that. I hope the author will write an alternative ending where they become an awesome couple of gay criminals in love sooner or later!

[yesvaldemarharder]

Lucio x Fem! Thicc! Reader

A/N: Now look, I’ve noticed Lucio has a lot of hate these days. Not sure what has been said but if you do tell me. I’m curious. Also, I write mainly female reader and dabble in gender neutral reader.. Don’t be upset (if you’re a guy) if I don’t write male reader.. to be honest it’s like trying to make a clear homosexual guy date a girl. It just doesn’t work out.

I have no problem with male readers I just can’t write them..nor can I write ‘smol’ reader. It’s kinda annoying but that’s a personal problem of mine.

Anyway, my master list for my request on this fandom is at my other account, Yandereinmyguts, if anyone is curious. I will also be post Yandere simulator males x fem reader on this account because the fandom needs... “better written oneshots.” (Sorry..)

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy! Let’s get to it, if you have a problem find another account to waste your time on.

Rating: Mature

Word Count: Idk but more than two thousand perhaps

Pairing: Lucio x Thicc Reader

EDIT: As much as I love Nadia, Julian, Asra, Muriel, and Portia (if you Request her I can’t do any smut on her..I love her like a friend not a lover) imma have to mainly post for the courtiers cause they got me hooked. They need more oneshots on them.

NON: I haven’t really gotten far in play throughs due to being a poor hoe so don’t come here with any spoilers. I know the characters I just haven’t been playing the game like that.

Don’t come here being salty either because I would gladly fuck all of the courtiers. Don’t kink shame me because that’s also a kink of mine.

-

The girl’s (e/c) eye twitched in a clear form of irritation as she sat on the fountain, a rather large book in her (s/c) hands as the water settled calmly. What irritated her was the bright eyes on her from the male sprawled out in front of her, watching her like a cat watched some mouse. With a glare she closed to book quickly with a soft slam before looking down at the ground where the male laid lazily before he started grinning a sharp grin at her.

“Is there something you need Count Lucio...”

She spoke, clear aggravation in her voice. It was one thing for them to be bound to each other, yeah but it was another for him to always stare at her. Those crimson eyes widening in mock surprise as the blonde shot up in a sitting position from his previous laying one in the green lush grass. His golden hand over his chest as he gave a dramatic gasp.

“H-Huh? Why’d you say it like you were annoyed? I’m only trying to appreciate ‘second hand beauty’!”

He countered and for a second she stopped, a slight look of confusion on her face as she stared down from the area she’d been sitting setting the book by her well rounded thigh to which his crimson eyes followed for a split second before looking back to her. The (s/c) girl forced herself not to let out a snarky reply but crossed her arms over her breast instead.

Now the Count’s face was a bit pink as he dropped his hand to his side catching Mercedes and Melchior’s attention for only a second before the precious pups lost interest and went back to running around the large gardens.

“And Count..what do you mean by that?”

She asked with an unimpressed gaze and he simply gave a charming smirk before standing up, his hand on his thigh as he pushed himself up from the grass before dusting off his mainly white suit. With confidence he strides over to her form and seats next to her.

He’s close, close enough to feel her larger thigh against his own smaller but strong one, the coolness of his nearly see-through body mixing with her everlasting warmth. Her (e/c) eyes follow him and each step he takes and he gives a low purr that nearly makes her shiver.

“Well I’m the most best looking man around so you can’t be the first. That’s why you’re the second.”

The girl finally lets out a soft snort uncrossing her arms as she looking away tilting her head in a way where he can get a good look at her strong smooth neck and the tantalizing choker that hugged it. She grabs her book again tooling it in between her careful fingers as she opens it once more, her thumb pressed against the corner of the papers searching for the page she had been on previously ignoring the blonde next to her.

“Count, once again. I am I female so I don’t think that statement makes sense. Thank you though.”

She hums before her eyes widened, a firm hand touches her face, his thumb and pointer finger on her cheeks shocking her with that same electricity she had felt the first time they touched and a shudder ran down her back. With a gentle but persistent pull he turns her head back to him and they’re only centimeters away. His eyes hooded looking at her smooth soft lips as she blushes a bit too darkly.

“Then you’re the cutest woman, how about that? Just look at those eyes and those oh-so soft lips. If I wanted to, would you allow me the pleasure to kiss you?”

He speaks lowly and even though he seems confident she can clearly see the blush on his light cheeks and it almost makes her giggle. However, hearing such words completely threw her for a loop, she knew he watched her but never expected him to act out. Ah, two could play at such a game.

With a hum she pushed his hand away and for a second his flirtatious lips formed a pout which quickly formed into a arch of confusion when she stood up kicking her wedges off into the grass with a dull thud, the jewels on her ankles glistening and jiggling with each step she took as she approached him once more. His body rigid as she playfully ran a painted nail from his naked collarbone up to his chin making him look at her again before planting herself in his lap, the bold action making him jump quite noticeably as she grinned wrapping her arms around his neck.

They’re close, awfully close to the point where her front pressed so firmly against him that she had to put her now naked feet in the fountain, cool water tickling her smooth (s/c) feet, the ankle bracelet around it glistening as water and sunlight clashed causing a beautiful shine.

“What’s wrong Count? Why so shy now? Do you not still want a kiss from these ‘oh-so soft lips’?”

She teased as he started to blush, crimson lacing his cheeks all the way up to his ears. She smiles innocently before leaning in, laying a kiss on the corner of his mouth, just barely missing his slight gaped mouth. Curiously his hands lay against her thighs rubbing them to see the boundaries she most likely had. A stern glare found his face as she wiggled her hips firmly against his making him let out a low growl. His pants were definitely tighter than the were a couple minutes ago.

“I don’t like being teased (y/n).. and yes, I still want to kiss you.”

He spoke quickly breath hitching when soft lips connected with his earlobe nibbling on the sensitive flesh. His arms hugged her now, his normal and metal hand on each of her asscheeks squeezing the large masses loving the shudder she let off. Her warm breath dusted over his skin.

“Just a kiss though? Lucio?”

She purred before a sharp yelp left her lips and a slap wrung in the air for a second. Her ass letting off a ripple as he rubbed the now warmed ass. His clawed hand digging up and under her clothes, under her silky underwear and pinching her flesh as she buried her head in his shoulder. This time he was the one in her ear, voice low and obviously suggestive.

“If you’re offering so willingly, then I’d love to do more. So much more. Are you giving me permission?”

He asked once more before pulling the fabric of the front of her v neck shirt down licking a fine line from her cleavage to her chin making her tilt her head up more as he kissed and nibbles along her skin. Clearly he was getting greedy, his human hand squeezing her thigh once more as his metal one toyed with her asscheek. She couldn’t trust her voice as he rolled his hips, a semi hard bulge rubbing her through her thin pants as she gave a nod finally confirming the permission he wanted.

Her hands moved up to his hair, hands lacing in silky blonde locks tugging lightly as he purred. Their faces were both red, excitement flooding their veins as Lucio forced himself to not take them both back in the cold water behind him. For so long now he wanted her against him, to feel her body against his own and now that he had that he really didn’t want to mess it up. He didn’t Ben care if they did it here, he’d gladly hold her legs as she bounce in his lap or send them both forward to the ground and continue from there, it didn’t matter to him.

No one usually stepped out of the palace at this time anyway.

His real hand moved to the front of her fitted clothes and cupped it causing her to gasp and arch against him, his eyes casting up as she tossed her head back a little.

“L-Lucio~”

She gave a weak moan as his thumb rubbed over her clit. He could feel the heat coming off her right here, he could also notice how damp she felt and for a second he shivered all over. It’s really been so long since he’s done this but he refused to mess this up. Once again he was in her ear now pushing that hand into her clothes, hand twisting to tap her hard nun holding her tightly as she arched and jumped a little in his lap.

“I want to kiss you here too. You’re so wet already do I really excite you that much or are you just really sensitive?”

He hums before a rich chuckle fills her ear.

“It doesn’t matter, I’ll treat you good (y/n).”

He promised before tackling her, a startled yelp leaving her lips when her feet left the water splashing them and when her back hit the ground. Not too hard though as his arms support her, her bright (e/c) eyes stare up into his crimson ones and for a second they simply stay like that. He’s watching her looking for any discomfort and for a second it takes her a while to notice. Then she gives a soft smile reaching up and cupping his cheek to which he flinched at the shock that came from it before he nuzzles her hand, moving his own to hold hers.

He takes her hand kissing along her knuckles before kissing the inside of her wrist as she simply watches him with awe.

“I love you.”

It’s a whisper but it’s firm as well and it catches him off guard completely, he opens his eyes; which he didn’t even noticed he closed to look at her once more. They’re flushed so closed together but he acts like he didn’t hear it.

“W-What? What did you say?”

The girl now blushes looking to her side, the many plants and rays on sunlight filling her vision as she tries to avoid his prying eyes but with him on top of her and so close that’s hard to do. Every time her head moves away from his he follows growing frustrated eventually leaning down biting down on his exposed neck.

“A-ah!”

She yips and he sucks on the wet flesh making the skin turn a different shade, he nips at the flesh as his hands grip the back of her thighs that twitch at the feeling.

“Tell me, (y/n). I just want to hear you say it again. Stop being stubborn..”

He grumbled against her throat and she pouts hands finding his hair again catching his attention immediately, he slowly looks back up and she pulls him into a hard heated kiss. He feels his eyes hood and watches as hers close a light moan leaving his throat as he licks her lips asking for permission and pressing his tongue into her wet mouth the second she opens.

His hands are pulling at her fabrics and she moans into his mouth as she lifts her hips letting he tug them down her thighs. He pulls away slowly, saliva stringing them together as they pant against each other breathless and wet.

“I-I love you.”

She whimpers as he kisses her cheek then her forehead to shush her somewhat. That kiss said everything he needed to know.

He pulled back some more looking down at her thighs freezing when he notices the thigh high stocks she has on along with a silky lace garter belt that hugged her hips a bit too nicely. Lucio suddenly feels his pants tighten a LOT more.

His hands freeze on the spot as his face turns red all over, some would think he’s sick but he’s so flustered and honestly even though she’s blushing too she can’t help but wants to call him cute. To be honest though she had forgot she even had them on, so if he was going to have a malfunction if some sort she’d have to apologize after they finished. (Y/n) tightened her legs around him again and the blonde jerked looking up to her only to see the blushing girl give him a smug smile. He pouted before tugging off her pants tossing them aside not caring where they landed pushing her back down when she tried to bicker about it.

“Stay still, don’t move (y/n). Babygirl.”

He orders and she feels her thighs quiver at his rough tone, for a split second she imagines him in his goat form getting ready to pounce and fuck he open and the thought has her reviving but she keeps it to herself biting her lip. That lip caught in those pearly white teeth as he grunted softly. He strips her before lifting her top showing the frilly lace bra that matches the things below and he’s honestly hasn’t felt so hard. The last time he was this excited was a while ago when he was alive and Nadia decided to top him. However, that is another story which he doesn’t want to think about with (y/n). He wasn’t for Nadia anymore, not like she wanted him anyway.

He reaches before her and pulls the garment out tossing it as well releasing her smooth (b/s) (s/c) breast leaning down to kiss them purring when she arched against his face with a high pitched moan.

With a wet pop he lets go and pulls back once again to open his pants giving a sigh of relief when he’s somewhat free. His underwear is bulging out, the fabric soaking wet with precum that made the girl gulp licking her lips. He pulls down the fabric and literally keens when the female purrs, her foot on his cock. The meaty rod stiff between her toes as he grabs her calv panting heavily as his precum drips down his cock along her toes.

“It’s pretty wide, you’re so excited hum? Want to see how my pussy spreads around it Lucio? Want to stretch me open Count?~”

She grinned and he grabbed her foot roughly pushing it up grabbing her other foot pulling her making her yelp as he pulled her closer. He quickly tears open her belt breaking the lace and straps and for a second she actually worries, sweat gathering over her skin. She was only teasing him...and he’s this riled. She shivers when a cool breeze rushes over her glistening pussy and shivers some more when he moves down to it.

It’s so messy, her natural lubricant dripping down between her lips and her hole twitching in anticipation. Her clit is hard and sensitive to the touch and knowing that Lucio blows a gust of wind over it that has he whimpering. She can even get herself to lean up for a second but when she does she’s on the ground again with a loud cry falling from her lips and her wide hips jerking closing around his head. His mouth closed around her clit, tongue tickling the underside as his golden hand pressed against her hole, juices running down the armor and just the site had him ready to burst.

He groaned, he really wanted to eat her out. However they always had time, he could do it later. Lucio pulled her legs open again and scooted close. (Y/n) lifted her head, (h/c) (h/l) hair messy, cheeks dark red, and skin sweaty and then he sunk into her as she let out a loud keen which he groaned at. His cock surrounded in her tunnel; warm, wet, and tight. Her legs tightened around him again and he leaned down again kissing her his cock pressing deep and rubbing along her cervix.

Every noise she made he swallowed greedily as he started with a slow pace first rolling his hips carefully before quickening his strokes. Soon he couldn’t control himself and nor could she. His hands held hers to the ground pinning them down to the green grass licking their fingers together as his balls slapped against her ass, his mouth all over her. He left hickies everywhere he could and with her mind so flooded with lust she couldn’t tell him where he could and couldn’t put them. He marked up her neck, collarbone, chest, chin and even left a couple behind her ears as she called out for him.

Her legs tight around his hips and bucking against him matching his pace, her juices squirting out all over his cock and pants with each thrust.

She cried out when he abused her g spot, her eyes wide in shock as he stared down at her. His hair hanging in his face, sweat covering the locks and his cheeks pink, eyes dark and bright at the same time as though he was looking deep into her soul as he searched her insides. He really looked like a demon and damn did she love it.

They were making a lot of noise but even if someone came out he wouldn’t stop. He wouldn’t stop showing how much he loved her, how much he wanted her, wanted to be with her. No, if anything he would force himself to go harder to fuck her sloppy trembling pussy open until she creamed so hard it sent her into an alternate universe of some sort.

He watched her, letting out grunts and groans as she shuddered and twitched and finally she let out another cry and wiggled, thighs moving on their on now as they trembled and shook uncontrollably. Her orgasm crashing so hard that he had to quickly pull out and cum on her stomach. She milked him would be another way to say it.

It shocked him and he let out a weak whimper as he cummed, her own dribbled out of her pussy leaking into the ground and with fascination he watched as she moaned softly trying to stop her shaking, grabbing her legs and holding them which only ended up presenting her wrecked pussy to him some more and he watched intensely before licking his lips slowly.

He slowly leaned down and licked a fine line from her asshole, feeling it twitch, to her clit and she jumped so hard that it seemed as though she didn’t want it. It was the overstimulation and as much as she wanted it she just couldn’t at the moment. A shaky hand found his wet hair and she weakly pushed on his head making him glance up at her with a smirk and sharp eyes as she shook her head.

“I-I can’t Lucio, m-my body-mhm~”

She cut herself off with a pitiful moan as he purred against her clit and then bit down on it a little. He then came up kissing her softly pressing his fingers inside her spent fuck hole grinning at the loud cry she let out as his fingers curled pressing firmly against her bladder.

“Shh, kitten. Let me take care of you. Daddy’s got you.~”

And she went quiet shaking, blushing brightly but spreading her legs some more making him blush again but smile as well.

-

Sorry if that was a mess, I really needed to post that and I get lazy quickly so it had to be done.

I hope you guys liked it though!

-A

[kinkykinard]

Whumptober 2018 - Day 15

For @abeautifulandterriblemind.

Fandom: Star Trek AOS. Pairing: Jim Kirk x Reader. Prompt: Manhandling. Word Count: 770. Warning(s): phaser fire, manhandling, mentions of inappropriate touching.

The ship is on red alert and while the sirens cover the sounds of your boots on the floor nicely, the strobing red lights make it hard to see anything.  Your crew is under attack and as chief of security it’s your job to ensure their safety.  Biting your lip and focusing, you grip your phaser tightly and creep through the halls, looking for any signs of intruders.

It’s eerily quiet aside from the klaxons.

Creeping around the corner, you spy one of the enemy soldiers pacing at the end of the hallways.  Cursing, you duck behind the corner again and hunker down.  You try to even out your breathing as you decide on a course of action.  You’re so lost in thought that you fail to hear the creak of another boot on the deck plating behind you, and the next thing you know you’re being pitched toward the floor as a brief but intense shock of agony goes through your whole body.

“Look what we’ve got here,” a voice says just over your head as boots appear in your line of sight.  “Another hostage.”

You curse inwardly, groaning as you feel yourself being hauled to your feet by the scruff of your neck.  The brief stun has made your muscles weak and thrown off your coordination and you stumble awkwardly down the hall as your captor pushes you along.  When you don’t move quickly enough for his satisfaction, he grasps you by the wrist, pinning it high against your back for a better hold, making you whimper.

“Oh I’m sorry, is this too much for you?”  He asks, pulling even harder on your arm, keeping you close as he pushes on.  “Keep walking.”

You do as he says, knowing you’re too weak to resist.  You trip over a small lip on the floor, nearly toppling the both of you, earning yourself another harsh tug on the arm.  Your captor wraps his other arm around your waist, throwing you up against the nearest wall with a sound thud.

“I’m not carrying you,” he snarls.  “So we’ll stop until you can get your shit together.  In the meantime I’m going to make sure you’re not carrying anything else, if you don’t mind.”

You mind, of course, but you’re helpless to do much with your muscles still loose and uncoordinated.  Your strength is starting to return, but not quickly enough.  You gasp as he wedges a knee between your thighs, pushing your legs apart, and places your hands on the wall over your head.

You feel anger well inside of you as his hands run up your legs, your sides, and your arms, searching for other weapons.  His hands reach your butt and he gives it a little squeeze before finishing the pat down, making you see red.

“Let’s go,” he says a moment later.  “I think you’ve had more than enough time to recover.”

You grit your teeth as he grabs you by the arm again, leading you further down the hall, past other members of his crew.  They laugh as the two of you pass and you want to spit in their faces, but instead you bide your time.

Before long, you reach a door.  Your escort reaches out and pushes it open, shoving you inside.  You trip over yourself, landing hard on the floor, feeling the ache of bruises already starting to form as you grope around in the darkness.  The room is warm and you can hear breathing; you’re not alone.

In the light from the hallway beyond, you see another figure approach held by their side.

“How many does that last one make?”  The new woman’s voice asks.

“Fifteen,” your captor says.  “Look like we’ve got them all.”

The lights come to life moments later, blinding you, and you glance around the room.  The rest of your teammates are bound and gagged through the room and Jim is standing over you with his usual thousand-watt smile firmly in place.

“Looks like I win again, sunshine,” he says brightly, holding out a hand to wake you up.

You roll your eyes.

“Don’t let it get to your head,” you mutter.  “Your ass is grass next simulation.”

Jim chuckles, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead as you rub at the scrapes on your palms from where you hit the ground.

“That’s what you always say,” he teases playfully, holstering his phaser.  “Come on, I’ll buy you lunch.”

You roll your eyes and can’t help but smile as he holds an arm out for you to take.

“You’d better kiss all of my bruises better, too.”

@starshiphufflebadger @star-trekkin-across-theuniverse @feelmyroarrrr @musingsongbird @ababyinatrenchcoat @medicatemedrmccoy @wonders-of-the-multiverse  @devanshade @dolamrothianlady @startrekimagines @theonlyparadox @itsjaynebird @goodnightwife @thevalesofanduin @elsa-lost-in-translation @thefanficfaerie @gryffindor9whovian @auduna-druitt @archangels-lollipop @supermoonpanda @bubblegum-star-trek  @the-space-goddess-16 @starmission @the-geeky-engineer @startled-seastar @littlecarowrites @eyeofdionysus @emmkolenn @battlebunnyteardropsinthesun @kirkaholic123 @ambie2020 @iwillwakeherinthemorning @haveyouseenmymind @this-obsession-o-mine @kriskentia @reading-in-moonlight  @mad-girl-without-a-box @itsrandombooklover @gaeilgerua @kickingitwithkirk @sebastianstanslefteyebrow @kawaiiusagichansan @garnet-redtailedhero @djisfantastic @ever-faithful-sidekick @killerbumblebee

[bushybeardedbear]

So Season 7 of Voltron Legendary Defender... Oh Boy...

I had so much spoiled before watching it. Thanks email alerts. So after seeing so much spoiled already, I started lurking in Tumblr again. By the time I’d actually got round to watching the season I felt like I’d already watched most of it and was primed with all the various thoughts and opinions people were sharing online. In the days beforehand I was up and down like a yoyo on a rollercoaster. Hopeful one day, thinking it’s not even worth watching the next. Hovering my finger over “delete” on both this blog and my fics at points... Even contemplating that right now if I’m honest. Maybe I should have been Bushy Bearded Drama-Llama?

In any case, having finally sat down with rock bottom, possibly even sub zero expectations and watched, here are my thoughts now season seven is over... Well... In short, I think it suffers a lot from being so rushed. And before you say it, no, going in with low expectations wasn’t a self fulfilling prophecy. Psychologically speaking the opposite is true. If we go into something with low expectations, we tend to have a better opinion overall than we would have if we went in with sky high expectations. And whilst it may seem like I hated it so far...? Well, no. I didn’t hate it. There were some parts that didn’t gel with me, but to say I hated it would be an insult to everyone involved. But that doesn’t make it free from criticism. If you care what this bear’s about to growl about, strap in, it’s not a short one. Not kidding. This is long. But I guess I needed to get my feelings down and hopefully have someone patient enough to read it and see that I’m not completely insane. And, thought I shouldn’t have to say this... None of this comes from a place of hate. No, I don’t think regardless of how you feel about this season that hatred to the creators is ever acceptable. If you feel you must, then voice your grievances calmly, rationally, but the second you resort to hate you have already lost. Though what I would suggest is to just accept this season as it is and move on.  Moving on is partly why I’m compelled to write this post. Maybe if you are going to read this monster, bring some caramel to counteract the salt...

The Season Itself

So within the first episode, I’m already full of mixed emotions. Yes, the Plance moment was great. Yes, the dynamic between Hunk and Romelle was cool. Coran was great, supportive Crolia, the none too subtle dig at Prometheus as Lance and Pidge ran from the grass... (Don’t think we didn’t spot that you writer rascals! Run at an angle!) I remain in Sheith Limbo trying to reconcile they met when Keith was literally a child and relationships can grow and develop with a worried dash of will people misinterpret this as grooming if they got together...? But a lot of it was by the by. Honey I Shrunk The Paladins was a great fun start to the series interspersed with great emotional character building for Shiro and Keith. It fleshed them both out in ways I wish we’d seen sooner and as others have pointed out drastically reframes a lot of the protective over Shiro moments in the context of his degenerative disease. And yet, it doesn’t make Shiro a victim, nor Keith a white knight, it keeps them both flawed yet strong heroes. Tiny cute paladins, Lance’s cargo pilot reference. As always the design of the planets is gorgeous. Lance sharpshooting. The attention to detail with little things like in scale surface tension! I can’t overstate how much time, effort and thought has gone into this! The narrative parallels of the speeder bikes. Honestly, there is SO much to unpack in just one episode that could easily be overlooked as silly and/or filler. But it’s so much. Keith’s growth is such fun to watch, confirmation of certain fan theories is great yet so sad at the same time...

It allowed Romelle to actually have a character that wasn’t just “Lotor Plot Delivery Service” and her interactions with Hunk were pretty adorable. “Are all ancient Alteans like this?” Was a great subtle piece of world building as well. And yeah, pretty sure I saw @hailqiqi mention this already, but Hunk and Romelle are so the audience surrogates. The one and only thing that bugged me, given the fact that so much of Voltron has had to be rushed or cut for time... Did we really need the flashbacks in this episode shown twice back in the quantum abyss episode...? Couldn’t that time in the QA been used for something else...? But that’s a very minor gripe. Overall, I massively enjoyed this episode but I’m still nervous given the priming from the fandom going forward... But that last hug? Saving Shiro with his voice / quintessence maybe?

The Road home starts off well, though the idea that still nobody knows or comments on Katie’s name being such did disappoint me a little... The space road trip starting up was so cute, even if Lance’s logic of passengers is lost on me...aside from maybe cutting Pidge some slack. Let me Headcanon that little touch of unconscious favouritism, yeah? Though his taking charge in the battle here, being the right hand man, was really nice to see here. From the audience perspective, he may be stating the obvious, but in canon, that’s what we call battlefield awareness. Imagine season 1 Lance doing this? Nah. Buthe’s had no growth, so people say... “It’s super dangerous, it’s perfect!” Wonderful! And Keith’s leadership! Great stuff. (Almost) Everyone getting a chance to shine in the cave combat was also awesome. Full on frenetic energy, a little flourish of comedy from time to time, great characterisation, calm before the storm leading to a sudden yet satisfying cliffhanger? Full on Voltron to a T.

"I will help you look for that passage.” Is a cute Plance moment that others are overlooking I feel. Coran’s memoirs are something I would personally read the hell out of. I don’t know about the rest of you. But seeing the entire saga retold through Coran’s eyes...? I’d love to see it. I’m also kinda happy to know how “Acxa” is pronounced! The slow reveal of the time skip up until the reveal at the end is nice, though honestly not as mysterious as the show seemed to think it was. Maybe it was just that I got spoiled? Evil power couple were great as well and it was nice to see the ice pop mystery solved. A return of Altean shapeshifting was nice to see. “Sweet on that one with the flippity hair” and “your favourite paladin” “never wanted to kill him” “true love”? Seems a little out of left field. Unexpected? Maybe not, just rushed? Axca and Keith seemed a little sudden. To me felt like they just needed to pair a spare and keep Kieth and Allura apart. Which, I get into later. Keith being able to transport his bayard seems...fine...? Why are people complaining about this? Paladins summon their bayarads all the time. He just did it from a few extra feet...?  I do wish Coran had a chance to play to his strengths though. Aside from his courage. He has brains and feels like he needs to use them more or be written in scenarios where he can use them. The three year time skip, when revealed, seems like it was just a convenient way to avoid the immediate aftermath of Lotor losing the throne. It works in that regard I suppose. But by the end of this episode I wasn’t really sold on it.

Nice new haircut though Axca. Really sells the redeemed rebel former baddie archetype. And thank goodness for your exposition. Tell don’t show, am I right? One of the ways we can see the show was rushed I feel. Though again, maybe just being picky...

The Game Show Episode. I was expecting this later in the season honestly. It was good for comic relief I guess, so it served it’s purpose. Seeing the first family of the Galra along for some comedy was great if only for Neil Kaplan having such fun. But it felt like it was missing something. I can’t quite put my finger on what. It was nice to get insight into how the Paladins feel about each other but again, it felt like a way to get those ideas and characterisations out into the open without having to, y’know, show them in natural narrative progression. It’s probably the weakest of the comedy episodes so far and it felt a little like it was all just happening until it eventually stopped. It didn’t feel like the little hints of “tv flickering” implying something artificial were necessary. In fact, as soon as I saw the concept I thought “so, all powerful being captures them for reasons?” and that’s pretty much what we got. It was...ok. Just ok. And y’know what...? After seven seasons, maybe we do need to drop the “Lance is the dumb one” joke? I mean, yes, he’s not as smart as the rest of the team. No doubt. But if he’d been given a chance to shine on his own terms, with his own abilities, if they’d subverted the goofball archetype rather than doubling down on it I think this would have made for a more interesting episode. Just because it’s comedy doesn’t mean it doesn’t have to be compelling. The Voltron Show for instance literally dealt with Coran pushing himself so hard to help the Paladins that he was willing to resort to what was essentially a mind altering drug and forcing himself to kick the habit. Where was the actual plot in this episode? Funny moments need a framework and this kinda lacked a framework in my opinion.

Really episode 5? A Kobayashi Maru scenario...? Indeed, running a simulation when the lions are running on fumes...? Ok, you do you I guess... Little self referential humour from Coran was nice, but a little on the nose. And honestly, I think these episodes are starting to feel like, I dunno, filler material? Like, nothing is really being furthered in terms of the massive plots they still need to deal with. Did the journey back to Earth really need to take so many episodes, or could these have been more efficiently used to deal with countless plot threads that remain unresolved...? It’s a strange thing to be feeling at this stage, but maybe there’s more to come...?  And...it felt like another clip show filling out the backstory of the three years of Voltron being missing... Maybe it’s just me, but if you have written yourself into a scenario where the only way out is repeated massive exposition dumps... Maybe you need to rethink your story just a touch...? The fact it was also told from an unreliable narrator also means it wasn’t just exposition...it was literally pointless exposition that was likely mostly a combination of lies and half truths. And I’m sorry but, were people really clamouring for a rematch between Keith and “That One Nameless Druid...?” Really? You won’t hear me denying it was cool fight scene, yes indeed, but the set up wasn’t exactly great in my opinion.  As for how Keith managed to win? Ok, sure, I guess summoning the Bayard from a few feet was a build up to something else, something even more special that may or may not get resolved this season. I’m writing these as I go. Or will it be one more plot point that will need to be resolved in the next season with limited time and episodes to do so? Keith and Krolia’s goodbye was sad. I do hope for a reunion, but honestly don’t expect it. I imagine she’ll die off screen for shock value. Sadly, I already know the fate of Altean colony and why Haggar has forsaken her druids, so, no real hook for me there. 

So the halfish way point. Lost in space, desperately trying to force plance out of every interaction... And ultimately, just getting bored. I mean, yes, I get that they need to reconnect with each other... But there are countless ways it could have been resolved other than this. It didn’t really feel like there was need for this particular journey into the darkest cave. It also feels a little forced that after saving countless realities by working together, they now all get forced apart...? Hunk saving the day, saving the team, great. Really wonderful stuff. He’s been overlooked for so long. But the idea that they needed to become friends again...? To reconnect...again...? I don’t know that it felt necessary. If after all these years, literal years together there isn’t already a profound connection...? I just can’t really buy that. And again, it felt like a filler episode. And Hunk Priming the audience for the concept of passing the torch? Yeah, that didn’t go unseen.  Maybe it’s just me, but after six episodes where it was already established that they can travel at crazy speeds to be told “yeah no, it’s not that the lions were drained, it’s just these people who’ve literally saved the universe together aren’t quite best friends enough...”? That just feels silly.  And yes, I know “silly” is relative when we’re talking about a powerful group of robot magical cat things that are powered by love and freindship. BUT what I feel was silly was the idea that their friendship was strained at all. It felt as though the season wanted there to be this divide between them but...the comedy episode just a little while ago established they’re all willing to sacrifice themselves for each other.... 

That’s just....fundamentally contradictory. Are you guys barely even connected as friends or are you willing to die for each other? You can’t be both... It makes the whole “struggle” of getting back to Earth feel false because it’s predicated on the assumption that they’re a fractured team this episode yet there’s been literally no sign of that until now... Still, as always, the visuals were cool. The Space Angler Fish is a great concept. The music was great. The voice acting was on point. Everything was so SO good except...the writing... The writing in this particular episode in the context of everything preceding it just felt... Bad. Rushed. Forced. Contradictory. Drama for the sake of drama. Artificial... What’s going on guys...?

So a multiparter? Let’s see. Ok. Seeing how awesome Sam Holt is, fine. Seeing him reunite with Colleen. Also fine and dandy and cool. And it tugged at the heart strings... But do we really need him to literally tell us everything we already know in a power point presentation...? The audience doesn’t need to be caught up on the events.We don’t need a massive chunk of the episode’s run time devoted to playing catch up. We have the time for this, but apparently - according to the spoilers - we don’t have time to establish that Allura is getting over Lotor and Falling for Lance...? Not even a throw away line, or a glance, or a suggestion of that fact that needs establishing after her season six reaction to the mice... But we do have time for the events of the show to be repeated to us...? What!? I am literally bewildered at this choice. Flabbergasted. Gobsmacked.

The worst thing about this so far, is that under all the EXPOSITION there’s a great story that wants too be told. I think we’re only seeing fragments of that story. Sam and Coleen struggling to find their children again and fighting against political nonsense. But real talk... This was all stuff that could have done just fine implied. The Paladins arrive on Earth, they see the new ships piloted by their inevitable replacements in the new series they seem to want to make, Lance asks, “What are those?” Sam responds, “A fusion of Galra, Altean and Olkari tech. The culmination of months of Earth’s greatest minds working together. It was a struggle, but we got them made in the end...” BOOM. Done. Efficient use of what is obviously painfully limited time. Did we NEED the power point, the montages, the backdoor pilot for the new team...? Did we - good as they were - even need the Holt Family suffering...? Couldn’t Coleen’s transmission to everyone on Earth have been enough to get the point across that they’re awesome...? In my opinion, we didn’t need this. Not like this at least. It could have been done so much more efficiently, so much less padding. But we did get to see snippets of the messages back home. That was nice. But it doesn’t change the fact that the majority of the first episode felt really... Unnecessary. But that’s just how I feel after part one... So, the first half of the second episode? Superb. Can’t fault it, good heroic stuff, Sam stepping up. A realistic invasion of Earth, ie, we lose that’s rare to see in most media. Can’t fault it. Then the second half kicks in. The four archetypes we’ve been barely introduced to, go on a mission that narratively speaking is utterly unnecessary. I know that the Atlas gets built thanks to spoilers. But even if I didn’t, what function does this part serve? We may not be able to build a thing. Later on, that thing will be built. Do we need to into the minutiae of how the supplies were gathered...? Well, I suppose we do. But not because of how it serves the overall plot of Voltron Legendary Defender, but how it sells these new kids to us for the new series they obviously assume they’re making. But if it wasn’t for that? 

Then it defaults to more exposition... More information that could have been relayed to the audience in much more engaging ways.

This could have been, rather than a messy and kinda redundant two part episode with occasional brilliance, it could have been trimmed down to a truly brilliant single part. I’m not invested in these new characters. Let me get there or not when I see them in their own show. And if they’re literally just there as homage to the sequel series from the 80′s...then they don’t need this much focus. The actual paladins and their interpersonal dynamics do. Rift creatures do. Lotor’s fate does. Why are we wasting the limited time that remains on this unless it’s a back door pilot? Why should the current series suffer just to promote the next one...? It’s just exhausting and disappointing. By the end I was agreeing with Keith. What are we waiting for...? The continuation of the series we came here for. What kept us waiting was either an advert for the next series or a massive misstep in pacing.

And now, finally back to the real story and after two episodes establishing that Earth is screwed over, Earth can barely contact other parts of itself, Earth is on the brink of collapse, Earth is holding on by a thread... In the first scene we have Earth, somehow, triangulating a jamming signal into the outer edges of the solar system and remaining undetected as they do so...? Even assuming they are “just” sending commands to satellites and installations elsewhere in the solar system, The Galra would detect that command signal. And given how much we’ve had it stated, overstated, hammered home that Earth is in such bad shape...that feels like a real ass pull. 

I am being nitpicky, yes, but this is the second time this has happened on such a large and frankly contradictory scale. So I’m calling it out again. First The Paladins are willing to die for each other, or at least be trapped for eternity, then they are barely friends. Then, Earth can barely contact it’s own countries, but sending an undetectable command signal to at least three satellites in the solar system is fine...? Why not just have Voltron get the signal sooner!? Why not have Pidge send a jamming signal...?

And in terms of introductions to the new team? What we got after the drone attack? Perfect. It didn’t need to be an entire episode of establishing them because it isn’t their story. But the Paladins meeting their families? The reconciliation with Iverson? Shiro grieving for Adam. Where was all this before now? Why hasn’t our focus been where it belongs. On the Paladins? Now, I don’t really want to get into the whole debate about unfair representation of LGBT characters. I can see both sides of the argument as being valid. Shiro remains a strong canonically gay character even if the man he once loved is gone. Adam, though dead, is not immune to tragedy just for being gay. What we did see though was a man openly crying for his lost love. There’s plenty to be critical of the series for. But personally, I don’t feel the treatment of Adam and Shiro is “queerbaiting” so much as it is a couple unfairly separated by the horrors of war. A canonically and unambiguously gay couple. That’s representation. Just it may not be precisely what everyone wanted. But don’t let me stop you writing out impassioned critiques, don’t let me stop you airing and venting your grievances. I’m doing that right now, aren’t I? Just please please please don’t send any more hatred at the creators...

Now, this whole section of the Altean enhanced tech...? Why is this being reiterated again? This could stand on it’s own as an introduction to the concept of Earth meets Alien tech. Why are we being shown the same things twice, first in the two parter in depth and again now...? Why do this when there is so much else that needs addressing in ever dwindling episodes...? Though aside from that, Hunk and Keith connecting is great. Hunk finally having a dedicated arc to save his family also great. Hunk being the outsider to the Garrison Trio dynamic and spending time with Keith again? Also great, wonderful even. So where was all this previously...? But even this, even this has to be if not overshadowed then frankly hijacked by the new characters they want to sell to us. It’s getting tiresome. I don’t want Hunk’s moments overshadowed, his spotlight taken... But damn, if he doesn’t still stand proud regardless. This is the Voltron I’ve been missing for most of the season.

I was going to post the image of him crying, but couldn’t do it... So here, Happier Hunk.

Don’t know how I feel about Hover Hand. I get they’re setting it up for the final conflict with Sendak, so that Shiro will be his literal and visual antithesis...but...hover hand looks kinda goofy. And being the counterpoint to your nemesis doesn’t need to be so literal all the time. And again, the new characters forcing their way into the story with a half baked excuse to sell you them. I think from now on I’m just going to comment when Team Replacements don’t force themselves in...Even the fact one of them was Veronica felt a little frustrating, because Lance’s family dynamic with her is overshadowed in my opinion by her being part of the new forced team of replacements. Allura giving up her crystal tiara for Shiro was a nice moment. 

Okay, now imagine the whole infiltration section without Team Replacements. Just the Paladins, doing their thing. Let’s assume their resident tech genius has a way to stop the sentry drones sending out distress calls. 

What did they contribute other than a few quips? Are we really expected to believe our paladins, the protagonists of the story need these people...? No. It was just written that way to force the new guys in. What we need to wonder is why and the answer is most likely... Back Door Pilot. Over multiple episodes. That undermined the series I was already watching. And finally, despite it being the supposed new canon ship in town, we see our first indication that Lance and Allura might be interested. Or do we? No, we just see Lance checking her out and being teased. Then immediately afterwards we see Pidge implementing Lance style silliness and even a Lance style distraction with her own spin on it. But no, let’s focus on the blushing and the eyeballing. I’m not salty. I’m dead sea levels of salty. But I’ll put that aside for now... And roll my eyes at the Wilhelm scream... Ok, so I was all ready to be excited about the plan, but then the super forced Allurance twin blush happened. Was it...was it really supposed to hit home when there was no build up to it this season...? Or was checking her out through the sniper sights enough to replace any hint of them coming closer or Allura setting aside Lotor...? Sure, she’s bound to do it in time, but all I’d want is something to suggest as much on screen. Just a throw away line or two... Is that so much? Cut a scene or two with the Replacements and give us more Paladins.

As the paladins all fly to their thematically and elementally appropriate battlegrounds, I want to agree with some posts I’ve seen arguing that Pidge doesn’t just look concerned, or in the zone as the other paladins do. For at least one shot she looks sad. Troubled. Maybe I’m reaching. Probably reaching. Almost certainly reaching given the almost immediate Allura calling to Lance moment... The sequence of connecting with the lions though? And Lance protecting Veronica? Pretty much resigned to die before being saved by red...? Yeah, heavy and cool stuff.

But Admiral Asshole somehow getting in touch with Sendak? Betraying the entire planet? No. Just no. She can be a thorn in their side and an antagonist without being so utterly stupid. At this point she’s gone from concerned alternative view but essentially a good person trying to save the planet in her own way, to being pantomime levels of stupid. What a daft choice. What a needless choice. You know what would have worked better...? Sendak baiting the Paladins. It would play into his military genius archetype. He didn’t need intel from Admiral Asshole if the entire purpose of the planet killers was just bait for the paladins... We didn’t need admiral asshole to make a faustian pact with the people responsible for planetary genocide. Some of the choices this season just bewilder me. 

Well, at least no combining sequence before the Big Zapper Cannons hit. That’s something. I guess they can occasionally cut unnecessary scenes for time. 

The Paladins are asleep and it’s time for the replacement team to take centre stage again. Even with their own repeated launch sequence animation. Guess they can waste time after all. Admiral Asshole...

...yeah. Who would have thought that the mass murdering alien wasn’t to be trusted...? Except anyone written with an ounce of sense. I won’t deny, I completely and utterly lost interest during the Team Replacements moments. If you like them? Great. They were kinda written to be made valid off the back of the existing series so, I guess it worked for some, just not for me. I might even have been more keen on them myself ha they been secondary characters. But this season, they have so far felt like the focus. Yet also, they felt so undeveloped that they were like filler. They took up far too much focus that should have been on the Paladins. The characters I’ve been watching for six previous seasons. The characters I’m invested in. Even the launch of the Atlas - is it supposed to be a reference to The Gotengo in ship mode? - being powered by the Castle Crystal felt like a passing of the torch moment. There’s still a season left guys, can we wait until after this series ends maybe...?

Can we do The Paladins justice in their own series and make them the focus in their own series? Can we do the replacement team justice by making them the focus of their own series...? No? We’re going to try to do both at once and ultimately make both the worse off for it? Great, ok. Seems like a plan... SIGH

Soul-riding the lions? Now that’s a cool extension of the lore. That’s a cool new addition. That’s building more upon and actually watching Voltron again. Have I mentioned that it sometimes feels like I’m not watching Voltron any longer this season? Because, yeah, that. But during the parts where I was watching Voltron, it was great. Shame I couldn’t care more about Admiral Asshole’s sacrifice. They went beyond the pale with her outright betraying Earth. Noble sacrifice for an act of stupidity was just...meh. Didn’t feel like she’d be any additional motivation for the Paladins that earth already was. 

But damn does Shiro look good as the captain of a starship. Kudos where it’s due. The artists did a damn good job.

So, the final episodes... Great set up for a final confrontation. Yet within the first half of the first episode. Oh no. Voltron has been pinned. Oh no. The Atlas can’t do stuff. What will we do? Oh gosh I hope the new team of plucky do-gooders can save the day. Whatever would we do without them? I hope we can buy their toys soon. Stop it. Why won’t they just stop it...? Stop making them such a major focus. This isn’t their show...or yeah, maybe it is now. Maybe the Paladins are the side characters now? Sometimes it feels that way. They spent a lot of time out of commission, damaged, pinned or otherwise unable to act except in montages.

“Lance, I’m coming to help!” Yes, because Allura is just there to support and look shyly away from lion glances. Sigh. Can we have Allura who didn’t need to be defined by a love interest back please?

Then again, Shiro had some time to shine which was really appreciated. The Sendak/Shiro fight was...ok? I mean, it had a lot to live up to after the Kuron / Keith fight. And it just fell short in my opinion. And much as Keith saving Shiro is kinda the default... Given how they were building Shiro up to be the anti-Sendak, it felt like the final blow was robbed from Shiro just a little.

Then of course, we get The New Robeast. More powerful than anything they’ve dealt with before and utterly unannounced. Ok. Well at least they didn’t just go to sleep for a bit and let the new guys do everything. But they still found a way to force them in even now. Wouldn’t have shocked me at this point though if the new group had just beaten the robeast. The twin swords are cool, but sadly a Plance moment it wasn’t. Maybe it would have been in old Voltron. Formed by a stronger bond between the two. But not so much now. Just a thing that happens. Like Pidge’s new gun thing. Thing that happens. No build to it really, just happens. No lesson, no moment of clarity, no greater connection, just, happens. How does the Atlas have back up generators that can make it functional when it’s already been established the only thing that can power it is the castle crystal? It was a pretty big plot point. Until it was just forgotten about. The Atlas mech formed by Altean magic was pretty cool. Shiro has a lot of moments with Allura leading to it as well. More than she had with Lance even. I’ll come back to that. Fake out Pala-deaths was cheap. And if they only reason they put the focus on the new guys was for that fake out...? Screw that. What a waste.

Seeing Hunk and Shay reunited was nice but too brief. Nice to be wrong about Krolia, but I’m not expecting she’ll last the next season. Shock factor you see. Watching Earth change and develop in flash forwards and montage now makes me wonder why that couldn’t have happened earlier. And my answer is, probably to sell the new team. And that sucks. I’m not really looking forward to another season of the Paladins taking the back seat. I do kind of expect it though. In fact, I expect it will only get worse.

And of course, now in a mere 13 episodes we have to wrap up Lotor, Haggar, the rift creatures, any and all ships, don’t forget set up the new team, because I think there were a few subtle hints there’s a new team they want us to care about. How about that new team guys? New team! And do all that without it feeling like a giant rushed mess. Heh. Won’t hold my breath.

Overall? Season Seven as others have said for many reasons, is Voltron Legendary Disappointment. Now to be fair, the art, the music, the animation, the voice acting - even given some guff lines, kudos to Josh Keaton for making “Their very home” not sound stupid... All of that was great. All of those staff members involved? A plus, amazing. But the writing...? Oh my good gravy the writing is all over the damn place. Yes, I just write silly fanfics and they’re professionals so what do I know? Their paycheck invalidates my opinion, right? But to be frank some of the mistakes and I do mean mistakes are elementary continuity gaffs. Redundancy. Repetition. Over reliance on exposition. I mean, if this is considered professional then standards have dropped...  That’s not to say there weren’t moments of great writing. Moments where it felt like I was actually watching Voltron again rather than an advert for the new guys. But for the most part...? It was odd choice after odd choice. Daft move after daft move. Mess after mess. Forced and contrived plot point after forced and contrived plot point and if I was judging the series solely on the writing... I’d ask why nobody proofread the first draft.

But to literally everyone else involved in the show from the voice actors to the background artists to the intern fetching coffee...? You all did an amazing job with the mess you were given.

The Obligatory Over Long Shipping Bit

It’s not all about the ships, but... To some extent, it kinda is a little. Maybe even a very BIG little... At it’s most basic, a story, any narrative, has three parts.

The Beginning: The Status Quo, the ordinary world.

The Middle: A Challenge To The Status Quo, conflict, introduction of the special world.

The End: A New Status Quo, conflict resolved, special and ordinary world merge or become aligned to create a new standard.

And ships? Well, they’re an aspect of both the conflict in the middle and the New Status Quo at the end. Ships matter. The connection we feel to two or more characters and the connections they gain with each other? They matter. They are the story. So when I bang on about ships beneath, keep that in mind. Keep in mind that watching characters grow and grow closer is an integral part of narrative, romantic, platonic, whatever. Watching dynamics develop and shift between characters matters. That includes ships. And, I’m not calling the show bad because ships. The show itself is flawed, but overall still good. still very good in fact. All I want to do here is share my disappointment and frankly my confusion at the way that all the ships seem to be playing out right now.

But to start... Allurance. 

Let me say, emphatically state, that if you enjoy this ship I have no beef with you. I am not against you enjoying it. I am not trying to tell you you’re wrong. If you and I having different opinions on this is enough for you to unfollow me, then fair enough, goodbye and have fun elsewhere, no hard feelings. However, my opinion remains as it has done from the start. Whilst this could have been a solid canonical ship if things had been written differently, as it stands... I can’t support it and feel it’s the worst outcome for these two characters.

Now, I’ve seen the argument that “maybe it all happens off screen” and that I addressed in a post here. The long and the short of it, I want to see characters develop on screen rather than off screen. That is literally what I watch for. The On Screen Developments. Not off screen assumptions. On screen this season, Allura had more bonding moments with Shiro than with her supposed new love interest. Does that make sense to you? Because it doesn’t to me. Then there’s the argument that Lance’s feelings have grown and matured and changed. But honestly, on some level, if Allurance becomes canon, it feels like they haven’t. Let’s go through it on a very basic level.

Allura and Lance meet, he hits on her. - Lance wants to be with her. They work together. He continues to hit on her. - Lance wants to be with her. They keep working together. He hits on her and is jealous and possessive of anyone who even comes near her.  - Lance wants to be with her. Lance tones it down a little. Starts to be supportive. You’re the heart of Voltron etc. - Lance wants to be with her. Enter Lotor. Lance remains jealous and possessive, but plays it off to Allura as a joke. “You need a third wheel?” But to everyone else, including the mice, he makes it very very clear this makes him unhappy. - Lance wants to be with her. He makes that speech to the mice about wanting to be a better person, how he’s unworthy etc. etc. etc. - Lance wants to be with her. Allura finds out about this, seems less than pleased. - Lance wants to be with her. Allura breaks up with Lotor after finding out the man who changed her life is a genocidal space vampire. - Lance wants to be with her. Lance does the supportive hug scene. - Lance wants to be with her. Some stuff off screen presumably and Allura is suddenly over it. - Lance wants to be with her. Dual blushing scene, soft gazes lion scene etc. - Lance wants to be with her and suddenly Allura wants the same thing.

Now, to me at least, I never felt like Lance’s feelings for Allura changed. What changed were his tactics in pursuing that desire. The ultimate ulterior motive of wanting to be with her at no point altered. To me, that severely undermines his and Allura’s growth together. It re-frames the supportive friend hug in season six into the only possible on screen moment that she fell for him and to me that makes Allura seem weak willed, flighty and frankly weak as a character to be rushed into needing a new man so soon after Lotor. It makes Allura into the opposite of what she has been all along. It reframes Lance as being a creep who’s not being entirely honest and is just hanging on to get some Altean Action. It’s unwittingly supportive of the concept in toxic masculinity of No Doesn’t Mean No and I think that’s a dangerous message to be sending these days. We should know better. No means No, it does not and should not mean pursue them like an object you want to possess. In reality, that attitude being normalised can lead to obvious and dangerous extremes. In a story, the pursued partner loses their dramatic agency and is reduced to a prize or else wants to be possessed and is thus framed as less capable. I think the idea of Lance and Allura shifting their dynamic to “genuine romance” between  seasons and off screen is cheap. Overall, I feel it devalues both of them rather than enriching them as a ship and an end to two character arcs should. Maybe, like resurrecting Shiro / Kuron early being down to executive meddling, the same is true here? Maybe the plan was for Lance to break the mould of the stereotypical nice guy waiting in the wings? Maybe Lotor being bad was also executive meddling? Or maybe that’s just the scapegoat for the roads we missed out on? The potential lost...

Now, the weird thing is, I’ve seen the argument made that you wouldn’t say that about allurance if allura was a guy. Well...yeah I would. Because if nothing changed except Allura’s sex and/or gender but the events were otherwise identical then it would have exactly the same narrative issues. It would still be undermining both character’s growth and arcs. Chasing someone who isn’t interested is still toxic behaviour regardless of who does it to whom. But if you want to assume that I’m just saying this “because Allura’s a woman” then I guess I can’t stop you, but I hope you take my honest statement that it’s not the case as far as I’m concerned.  On the other side of this argument of well if x was y you wouldn’t z, well, that’s just you creating and answering a hypothetical question. Let’s say someone shipped, I dunno Keith and Cosmo. And the defence was “well you wouldn’t call it bestiality if cosmo was human.” And yeah, I suppose if something was changed so drastically there wouldn’t be a problem. But Cosmo is a wolf in Canon. And Allura is a woman in Canon. Maybe nobody would be saying Allurance has problematic elements if Allura was male or maybe the would. I feel that I certainly would see the issue regardless. But that argument is purely hypothetical and anyone who makes it has no way of proving it or supporting it.

There is however another issue in Canon that nobody seems willing to address. Alteans live for centuries. Centuries versus decades of lifespan. That kind of relationship will have the functionally immortal one watching the person they love ROT before their eyes. It will have them mourning their true love for CENTURIES or else callously moving on. It will, if they have or adopt kids, leave the functionally immortal one, watching their own descendants die. The functionally immortal partner will see their love reflected in their descendants eyes and faces. Forced to relive their loss generation after generation. I don’t want to contemplate that end for characters I care about. But that’s what would happen between Lance and Allura. I don’t want to think of Allura watching generations of hers and Lance’s kids and great grand kids dying like flies and thinking of her reliving that loss every hundred years or so as their next batch of descendants die in front of her. Maybe you see it as romantic? I see it as horrifying. And if the issue of Human vs. Altean ages is never dealt with on screen, I’ll assume the creators either didn’t think about it or assumed the audience wouldn’t care. Well I’m sorry, but you made characters that we love, they are part of a lore that we paid attention to. We do care and it does matter.

What I will admit is that maybe, just maybe the way I’m interpreting things isn’t what the creators intended. As much as I am a proponent of Death of the Author, I won’t disregard authorial intent. To those of you who don’t know, Death of the Author essentially states that; all media is a collaborative experience between audience and creators. That no one interpretation of a text is more valid than another. That interpretations can shift and change based on the time and context through which the text is viewed. That interpretations the author never intended are valid. Now, a lot of people seem to have this idea that “Death of The Author” means audience interpretation matters more than that of the author and completely overlook the idea of shared meaning and no one true interpretation. I’m coming at this from the point of view not that the audience owns the text but that we all, audience and author, equally share it and it’s infinite valid interpretations.

So that said, the authorial intent may well be that Lance and Allura’s relationship isn’t and was never meant to be a creepy guy being persistent. That it wasn’t meant to suggest that despite being rebuffed, he should carry on chasing. Maybe it wasn’t meant to seem like he was dishonest, swooping in after a break up to pick up the pieces. Maybe we’re supposed to ignore the ulterior motive to get into her pants that never changed from season one episode one? It may well be their intent was to show a relationship developing healthily and organically but they were rushed and it ended up feeling incomplete? But, that less positive interpretation is just not how it comes across to me and many others. Intent or not, we can only interpret what we see. We don’t hate the idea of these two characters being happy, we just feel like the way it’s portrayed so far doesn’t seem strong enough or doesn’t make it explicit enough that there has been sufficient growth and change on screen to really make us buy it. You may disagree. That’s perfectly valid. The authors may disagree. That’s perfectly valid. I disagree with those opinions and that too is perfectly valid. I don’t hate any of you for feeling the way you do or for reading the text the way you do. Everyone interprets media differently. Please do me the same courtesy and don’t hate me for my interpretation. We can both make valid points yet still disagree. There is not one true and absolute interpretation.

I suppose that leads me here. At this point, given the way that almost every ship possible has been hinted, teased, alluded to or given time onscreen... I wouldn’t be shocked if there aren’t any canonical ships by the end. Just hints. Forever hints. Because if nothing else, the Allurance shippers don’t deserve to be baited and switched. Even if I disagree with the way it’s been portrayed, even if I feel it was rushed and needed time on screen to develop, those shippers deserve a decent payoff if the show is going to tease it so damn hard and so damn obviously. The Sheith shippers have had plenty of hints as well. Kallura looks on the cards half the time. Hunay, Hunelle, Hidge/Punk all got hints at the possibility this season. Keith and Acxa, I was thinking they’d pull that as soon as Keith found her in the weblum. Plance, I may or may not have strong feelings about. Who can say? 

But given that the series so far has given so many contradictory hints, even assuming the caveat of multiple interpretations, how could anyone be happy by the end? I mean, if Plance happens and I still believe it makes the most sense for Lance and Pidge’s journeys and character arcs... Well what about the Allura / Lance dual blush moment...? The Allurance fans will ask that and rightly so. Why even include that if it isn’t going to go anywhere...? Chekov’s Gun. I can’t even deny myself that if the plan really was for Lance to move on, this would have been the season to explore that to make it feel organic. If Lance ends up moving on in the next season, then that will suddenly feel forced as well. The amount of ship baiting going on is a little frustrating. I can’t see how it could end in a satisfying way for every baited ship. So, maybe they’re just going to have nobody end up with anybody canonically? At this stage, part of me would rather have that than have my OTP confirmed in canon. Because if what has happened so far is anything to go by... I’m just going to be disappointed at it feeling rushed and artificial. Unearned and pulled out of left field at the last second. With all the build up to Allurance, whether I think it hit the mark or not, it feel like it would be cheap and rushed to have him suddenly move on in the next and last season. Plance might end up feeling not organically developed, just, info dumped into existence for time constraints. I’ve been seeing hints between Lance and Pidge since episode one. Waiting for them to change their dynamic for all that time and seeing hint after subtle hint, seeing how perfectly their two stories align. They literally and narratively complete one another. And yet, if it comes down to it that one line or one half baked scene or even one future still image in a montage at the end of the series, is the confirmation of them hooking up...? Then even I won’t feel like my ship was worth coming true in canon. I’d rather have it never come true than have it come true as badly, as forced, as potentially interpreted as toxic, as contrary to the narrative and as ultimately unsatisfying as Allurance seems to be right now. I have no issue with Allurance being the end game. I would just have wanted to see it done justice and right now... It just isn’t. Don’t agree? Ok, well...

Compare and contrast... One person in this series, Allura creates - using Alchemy - a means to be whole again. A weapon capable of overcoming a nemesis in visual dramatic parallel. Having learned Alchemy through tainted means from her Evil Ex, she’s now able to put it to physical tangible use for a new person. Not only that but she sacrifices her crown, her symbol of office, one of her last remnants of her dead home world in order to make that creation whole. She has shown this person nothing but respect and kindness otherwise.  Another person she barely interacted with aside from telling him to shut up then in the space of one episode they’re all blushy because reasons.

I’m being a little facetious, but let’s be honest.... What this shows is that Allura literally has a more meaningful and narratively significant set of interactions with SHIRO than she does with Lance this Season.  Shiro’s arm represents her turning the bad experience with Lotor to good. Her giving up her symbol of Altean Royalty shows she’s willing to sacrifice anything for him. And through that bond, she grants him the power to turn the Atlas into a giant robot. Where she created the Sincline out of a dishonest partnership, the Altas-Mecha is formed by honest...well, it looks like LOVE to me. Now I’m not saying I ship them. But if you showed me this season out of context with any of the rest of Voltron, I would be shipping Shiro with Allura even though he’s Gay. Because frankly, in the story told on screen this season that actually makes way more sense than shipping her with Lance. Even out of context, even assuming no Lotor, no previous issues, Lance and Allura being hinted just seems...out of nowhere this season.

Maybe I should just wait for the sequel series where everyone ends up with total randoms off screen that nobody is happy with? Maybe the ships that make the most sense and have been hinted at the most will be forgotten or end up with off screen unhappy marriages as some vague and irksome attempt at being “mature”. Yes, I’m still salty about Toph/Sokka as well as Kataang, what of it? Sometimes you just want the characters you have grown to love and adore to have a happy ending together. Is that too much to ask...?

So, season 8 predictions...?

After a heartwarming episode that teases Coranecker, Lotor will finally get his redemption arc. And by arc I mean, episode. There will be an entire episode devoted to info dumping how he wasn’t really a space vampire the whole time and Romelle got the wrong end of the stick. This episode will tease Lotura again as well as hinting at Hungar, Huntor, Hunlia and Huray, the Polyship of Hunk Coran and Shay. Haggar, having now established herself as the dark queen of the Quantum Abyss will send wave after wave of Altean-Robeasts at Voltron, before the series finally ends in, you guessed it, another big battle with another new big robot. There will be a “we won” montage, Sendak will somehow be resurrected or a void creature will emerge from Daibazol to set up the Big Bad for the sequel series. Maybe both. Nobody will end up with anyone and the next series and/or movie will be hinted at. We might end up with a cliffhanger to tease the sequel series. And we’ll all go away a little disappointed and a little happy all at once. Oh and Black Paladin Kaltenecker of course.

Salty semi-joking aside, at this point given how rushed the series has obviously become, I really would not be shocked if Lotor DID get a redemption plot that was dealt with in a single episode. Or a single sentence. Just like the way he was turned into a Genocidal Space Vampire in a single episode, I’m sure they can turn him into the Space Pope in a single episode. Maybe blame it all on a rift creature? Or maybe save that plot thread for the next series, given that in 13 episodes there’s no way they can cover everything they want to AND cover it as well as they want to. Or just never mention them again. It’s not like they were set up to be majorly important or anything. 

Also, if the whole of Voltron Legendary Defender is now going to be a backdoor pilot for Voltron The Garrison Guys or whatever, that seems disappointing more than exciting. Voltron Legendary Defender should be it’s own show first and a sequel should organically follow based on success or failure. If there was always a plan to have more seasons as a sequel series then...

USE THOSE EXTRA SEASONS TO GIVE THIS STORY THE ROOM IT NEEDED!!!

Make VLD the best it can be before assuming we need a sequel series at all. We wouldn’t have half the problems we have now of story lines feeling rushed if, get this the story lines had more episodes to not be rushed! We could have had more Past-Paladins. Keith’s backstory could have been explored as a full episode or two not spoon fed to us by time flashbacks. Allurance could feel less forced and artificial. Lotor’s betrayal could have been given more than a single episode info-dump. We could have actually explored Allura’s feelings and hr process of getting over one of the most important relationships in her life turning to shit. Give this story the time and space it needs to breathe and grow. Let THIS story be told in a well paced way rather than being forced to rush to hit the deadlines for the sequel series. If VLD ends up being less well received owing to bad or rushed writing, we may just end up with zero interest in the sequel series anyway. It’s self defeating!

Don’t have entire episodes devoted to characters who show up, info dump and then are mute for the rest of the season. Don’t have entire plot threads be rushed and resolved in time less than they deserve! And if you can’t do that...

THEN TRIM THE FAT!!!

We can probably all point to a bit that felt “rushed” or “forced” or “out of left field” and that all comes down to a single fact. So far, there has been far too much story to tell in far too few episodes. So certain plot threads end up suffering as a result. Not being fully realised. Not being given anything more than flashbacks and montages rather than full episodes examining in greater emotional depth and deeper narrative exploration.

I would rather see a simple story well told than a complex story rushed for time. What we seem to get in seasons 6+ of Voltron are attempts to tell the entire story they wanted but being forced to cut it short for time. Sadly, what would have been better than telling the full story badly would be telling as much of it as you can save well and discarding the rest. Maybe that’s already happened? Wouldn’t shock me.

Lotor deserved better. Allurance if it becomes canon, deserved to have been built upon to make it seem more deserved, less creepy nice guy. Allura deserved to have on screen time to adapt, grieve and move on from Lotor. Matt could have had time to develop his relationship on screen. Plance if it becomes canon deserves time to shine, because for many fans out there if it does becomes canon in season 8 then for them it will seem rushed, sudden, forced. Or worse, Pidge will always seem like Lance’s backup girl... As Said before, even me as a hardcore Plance Shipper feels like it can’t possibly be given the time it deserves to feel earned when we have just one season left to tie it all together....  So again, maybe all they can do at this stage is shrug and only ever give hints as to whom ends up with whom in this massive cast...? And then just spew out the sequel series. Because we gotta sell those new toys.

I cared and invested in the VLD characters. I wanted their story to be their story and not just a vehicle to sell the next series that, to be honest, I’m probably not going to be remotely interested in.

The Salt Floweth To An End

There is SO much potential in VLD that was squandered by things being rushed, compacted, cut and yet also being massively bloated despite this. Then there’s the obvious executive meddling that can’t have helped for a second... It just ends up making everything messy and unfocused. This season was a mess. Entertaining, yes, compelling, yes and damn good overall but with so many moments that just hit shy of the mark the creators obviously were aiming for. Almost all of it down to the writing. Because the animators, musicians, actors and all the other cast and crew did an amazing job. But the writing was...just a totally confused mess.

Overall, it ends up being Great rather than Exceptional which breaks my heart. Because the first 5 seasons? Exceptional. Every aspect. Especially the writing. But from Six onward? Everything seems to just crack and fray around the edges, the polish wears thin and the whole thing feels just slightly less like everyone involved gave 100%. Maybe a solid 90%, and some still went above and beyond... But things, in my opinion, shifted. Sometimes in service of “surprises” and sometimes just because they needed to rush. Whatever the case, it feels like somewhere along the line the writers stopped caring as much. If at all. Will I watch season 8? Sure. But I’ll always know it could have been so much more if they’d been given more time and more room to let the story flourish. At this point I doubt it’s possible given the already obvious lack of focus in the writing, that we’ll see every plot thread tied up to satisfaction. I’m not even going to kid myself that they’ll do it all well because that’s just not going to happen. I’ll be shocked if they manage it at all. Frankly I’ll be shocked if the last season doesn’t focus more on the new team again... I am not looking forward. It feels like a chore now. Will I watch the sequel series if there is one. No. Probably not.  I wanted Voltron Legendary Defender to be given all the time it needed to be exceptional. I didn’t want to watch an advert for the next series and the next group of characters and toys. Especially if we’ll just end up seeing them all wasted, rushed and never allowed to live up to their potential as well. I was invested in VLD and it sucks that my investment is used as a marketing ploy for a potential new show before being discarded. Ah well. There’s always fanfics I guess... Though even that tastes a little bitter now... Like I'm just another part of the Voltron Hype Machine and not even getting paid to do it... Sucks and it taints what I plan to do and what I already have done... I do want to continue supporting the show and the ship I love along with all the fans out there in The Garden, but right now... I’m left feeling so conflicted. In two minds about how much I enjoy this show and yet despite that, how often and how glaring some of the errors, missteps and plain crazy choices they seem to be making along the way... It’s hard to feel 100% positive, but I did make this post and I stand by it. If the Voltron writers won’t give us the reality that makes the most sense? We make it ourselves. I did make these three posts and I stand by all of them as well. Even now as it seems like the writer’s minds are falling apart like chunks of wet cake, I still maintain that Plance makes the most sense in the story for those two characters I loved. Will it still make sense at the end of the series? Honestly, yeah. I’m sure it will still make more sense than whatever the writers eventually decide to churn out. Here’s hoping Season 8 is...something...

[cutetorture]

im tired of the fucking internet im tired of tiktok im tired of instagram reels im tried of how devoid i feel when i find myself in a hole hatewatching this shit im tired of being traumadumped to when i didnt ask for it im tired of people being so weird and gross and overtly weird and gross im tired of people suckling the teets of capitalism and being so small brained to see past it and to see that their $200 shopping haul is what is ruining this planet and why i fear for my future childrens lives im tired of people who are rendered desperate and numb and hurting making content who also feel the same and then sucking them depressing cycle of hurt and pain from a system that have given our parents and our parents parent and their parents parents intergenerational trauma but we dont know how to combat it besides going to the doctor, being told we have mental disorders that are really just natural responses to prolonged generational trauma and then living with those labels like they mean anything and being overmedicated and being okay with that and that turns into stupid tiktoks where a filter of cat memes guesses if youre on prozac or zoloft and so many young, vulnerable children are being sucked into this cycle and we are all just desperate to heal but capitalism doesnt want a healthy society, it wants a society that it can exploit and the more unhealthy and the more pain it is experiencing the more it can do that . and i hate the oversexualization that is so prevalent on the internet because it feels so disingenuine and not like how a sex positive society should be i hate the incels that are convinced real women have r*pe kinks and then abuse women because they LIVE they FEED in this treacherous internet and i hate people who are platformed and on podcasts and shit who create essentially fandoms and echochambers that discusses this type of thinking i hate the term "touch grass" is actually a thing i hate that people are developing apps that simulate what genuine human connection is like bc we are devoid of it i hate the people who strive for attention so they are willing to destroy their lives and bodies for it on the internet i hate the unrealistic body standards i hate the favoritism of womens bodies i hate that young young children are exposed to this i could go on and on but i cant cuz i have to do real things like get my degree but

idk i dont wanna just sound like a boomer and talk about how phone bad because it isnt entirely, we get very good things like the vast amount of information at our fingertips ready at any time and the very real social connections and bonds that form because of it, as well as it being a tool to maintain those social bonds when people leave their hometowns or homelands but like, my how much weve bastardized this