#gotta build up to the horrible stuff

[feline-gal]

The door slams loudly against the wall as it's kicked open, it's rusty old latch still stuck in the strike.

“Go, go, go!�� Nightwing commands, the civilians obediently hurrying out and down the fire escape “C'mon, guys, single file, just 'cuz the landlord doesn't follow code doesn't give you a free pass.”

Once the last of the floor's tenants are out the poorly maintained door, Dick charges through the burning building, keeping an eye out for any more people in need, listening carefully for any cries for help through the roaring of the flames.

As well as the roaring of something else.

Soon enough he finds some and starts guiding them to safety, reassuring them that everything's going to be fine.

An already open fire escape door just comes into view when, as if to spite him, the ceiling suddenly starts collapsing on top of them.

“Look out!” Nightwing exclaims as he bodily shoves a couple people out of the way, taking the brunt of the falling rubble. He pushes himself up as much as he can with a groan “Everyone OK?” he asks, glancing around at the frightened civilians.

They each give an affirmation, some start trying to help the vigilante out from under the debris.

“Something's up there!” one says panickedly, pointing up towards the new hole in the ceiling.

The sounds of tromping footsteps and animalistic growling corroborate the claim.

“Great.” Nightwing comments sardonically “That's great. Gonna have to deal with that as soon as I'm out of here. Just gotta grab some..”

As he's reaching for the pocket containing his fire extinguisher pellet bombs, an unnaturally cold wind starts billowing through the room, snuffing much of the surrounding flames and leaving frost in it's wake before dying down just as suddenly as it'd started up.

Nightwing blinks “Or, that could happen.” he says as he shoves the now brittle debris off himself and stands back up on his feet, dusting himself off “Okay, everybody, let's not look a gift horse in the mouth and get back to getting the heck out of dodge.”

With that he ushers the civilians the rest of the way out of the building, then heads back over to the rubble pile and parkours his way up through the hole to the next floor, which isn't in any better condition than the others.

Through a couple charred holes in a couple walls, he sees a large hulking figure ambling about unbothered by the flames engulfing it's body.

Nightwing pulls his escrima sticks out of their holsters and makes his way towards the creature as quickly and stealthily as he can.

The beast suddenly jolts and lets out a pained roar, thrashing it's limbs wildly in an attempt to hit some unseen attacker. It's frantic swinging sends a piece of furniture flying right towards Nightwing, forcing him to leap out of the way and into the open.

“Yo! Where's the fire?” he snarks. The creature focuses on him and growls, baring it's too many razor sharp teeth at him. Nightwing grins cockily at it from under his gas mask as he takes in it's bear-like appearance “And just what are you supposed to be? Smokey Bear's arsonist cousin he never talks about?”

The flaming zombie bear thing doesn't seem to appreciate the vigilante's sense of humor and grabs another piece of furniture to throw at him.

Nightwing dashes and ducks under the oncoming projectile, gets up close to the beast and leaps into the air with a flip, aiming a kick to it's jaw..

Only for his foot to go right through like it isn't even there.

And as his backflip spins him back around, he finds himself facing an open maw full of very sharp teeth.

“Whoop!”

Nightwing suddenly feels himself being yanked back, the creature's jaws snapping shut on the air where his face just was. It snarls angrily at the loss of it's prey, then gets blasted in the face by a bright blue laser beam that leaves a chunk of solid ice.

“Careful there!” a somewhat familiar voice chides as it's owner sets the vigilante down a fair distance away from the beast now struggling to claw ice off it's face.

Looking over, Nightwing finds a tall, broad shouldered man, very similar to the one who'd saved him the other day, only his skin isn't so much green as it is unnaturally pale, his snow white hair casually defies gravity but moves nothing like the flames surrounding them, and the eyes that quickly glance him over for serious injuries are an eerie shade of green that reminds him of Jason's rare episodes of Pit Madness.

The new stranger meets his eyes and flashes a smile “Don't want you becoming a song lyric now, do we?” he quips.

Nightwing chuckles “Heh, yeah. Thanks for not letting that happen, Jack Frost.”

The stranger gives a chuckle of his own “Name's Phantom, actually.” he introduces.

“Never heard of ya'.” Nightwing comments “You new to this hero business?”

“Nah.” Phantom waves off “I've been around a while, just don't get out of my hometown very often, prefer to keep this-” he gestures to the flaming bear thing still working on it's unwanted ice mask “-particular brand of crazy contained.”

“Seems like there's been a breach.” the more local hero points out.

“Not my fault.” the newcomer states, then under his breath mutters “This time.”

“Sure.” is all Nightwing says about that “So, I'm guessing I'm a little bit totally ineffective against this thing?”

“No, actually.” Phantom declares, pointing at the strip of metal wrapped around the beast's neck “The one thing on it you can touch is the collar that's driving it crazy,” as if on cue, the lights and circuit patterns on the neckband begin glowing brighter and crackling with electricity, causing the bear thing to let out another pained roar “and said collar doesn't particularly like me touching it. Soo..”

“You'll keep Burny Bear busy while I go for his jewelry?” Nightwing asks, shifting into a ready position as he watches the creature finally break the ice off it's face.

“Exactly!” Phantom confirms with a thumbs up, also shifting his stance.

The beast lets out another roar and charges at them.

Nightwing dodges to the side while Phantom jumps backwards, keeping the thing's attention on him as he allows it to chase but never touch him.

The former boy wonder keeps to the creature's blind spots as he watches Phantom dodge it's strikes, weaving through the air with all the grace that came with several years worth of practice, his legs at some point having turned into a wispy black tail, occasionally firing off blasts of either icy blue or Lazarus Waters green.

The bear thing sinks it's claws into a larger piece of furniture and swings it's forelimbs upwards, sending the object flying at the Meta pestering it. The item goes right through Phantom like he isn't even there and crashes into the ceiling, sending dust and debris falling down around the floating hero.

Phantom pokes his head out of the dust cloud only to get smacked in the face by one of the beast's paws, sending him careening into a wall.

Nightwing's eyes widen in horror at the sight of the Meta's crumpled body, his neck bent at an unnatural angle.

“Ow.” Phantom groans as he lifts his head and snaps his neck back into place with a series of sickening cracks.

The local vigilante sighs in relief at the revelation of the newcomer's healing factor, but doesn't let his guard drop.

The bear thing lunges at the downed hero, claws and fangs bared with vicious intent. Phantom throws up his hands and a wall of that Lazarus green energy materializes between him and the creature, blocking it's attacks.

“Y'see, Burny;” he quips “This shit is why you don't get invited to Thanksgiving dinner anymore.”

Burny bear roars indignantly at the comment and continues slashing and biting at the energy shield.

Seeing his opportunity, Nightwing exchanges his escrima sticks for a pair of explosive Wing-Dings as he charges towards the beast. He leaps into the air and jams the bladed weapons into the seams of the collar, priming them, before kicking off the wall and reverse somersaulting away.

The creature pauses in it's ineffectual assault to wonder at the strange new beeping devices attached to it's neck before they promptly explode. It growls and shakes it's head, seeming more bothered by the loud noise and flash of light than anything else. Meanwhile, it's collar just barely survived the dual blasts and is now sparking wildly.

Once it regains it's vision, the bear thing catches sight of Nightwing and snarls, beginning to advance upon him.

“Oh no you don't!” Phantom exclaims as he drops his shield and pounces up onto the creature's back, clamping his hands down around it's jaws. The beast reels back and thrashes, trying to dislodge the Meta from it's back.

Nightwing pulls his escrima sticks back out, with the click of a button they whir to life, electricity crackling around their ends. Once again he runs right back up to the creature and jams the charged bastons into the exposed circuitry of the collar.

The bear thing lets out another roar of pain as electric bolts dance across it's upper body in a dazzling display that Nightwing has to shut his eyes against to avoid getting blinded by.

After a moment, the collar finally breaks apart and crumbles off it's wearer, who's pained cry peters out as it starts to fall over.

Nightwing steps back from the toppling beast while Phantom simply hovers in place over it. The two heroes let out a sigh as they watch their opponent crash to the ground, it's flames dimming somewhat.

“And now;” Phantom says as he pulls an odd high-tech looking cylinder off his belt “Soup time!” with that he pops the cap off the item, points it's open end towards the bear thing and clicks the button on it's side. With a bright blue light and a rush of air, the creature is sucked into the object, which Phantom promptly re-caps.

Nightwing blinks “Is that-” he points at the item “-a thermos?”

“Yup!” Phantom confirms cheerily.

“So, when you said 'soup time'..”

“No.” Phantom waves off with a roll of his eyes “I'm not actually going to turn it into soup and eat it. I'm gonna release it into it's natural habitat as soon as I get the chance.”

Nightwing blinks again “That thing has a natural habitat?”

“Yup!” Phantom again confirms cheerily.

“Where?” Nightwing quirks a brow “In hell?”

“Prob'ly.” Phantom replies with a shrug “Speaking of which, I better start putting out all this fire.” with that he flies off, a strong gust of unnaturally cold wind following him as he makes a circuit around the floor, dowsing the flames as he goes and leaving patches of frost in his wake.

Seeing as the other hero has the situation well in hand, Nightwing makes his way out of the building and onto the rooftop of a nearby, less scorched building, watching the newcomer's work from afar.

Eventually, Phantom rises up into the air in front of the local vigilante “Nice teaming up with you, Nightwing.” he comments, not halting in his ascent “See ya around!” he says with a two fingered salute before fading into invisibility.

“Same to you.” Nightwing replies to the seemingly empty air.

He hums contemplatively to himself as he muses over this second new Meta and his familiar appearance.

Curiouser and Curiouser..

Soulmate Song

After a long day at his work, Dick starts walking back to his apartment humming his soulmate song. A large man that looks vaguely like Clark shows up and starts calling him "Dan" and telling him that he shouldn't wander off in a new city without letting him know. There was also something about "changing appearances" in the lecture too, but he wasn't able to get a word in edgewise. So, he just stood there letting the man fuss over him.

After a while, another guy shows up whistling his soulmate song! The new guy was just as tall and broad shouldered as the first but with wavy silver hair that he had in a low ponytail. The first guy called him Dan and quickly realized what had happened. He'd been mistaken for his soulmate. How did that happen?

As he starts trying to talk to the guy, the two men apologize and disappear.

Now, Dick had to find his soulmate before he leaves Bludhaven.

[xcziel]

.

[aria0fgold]

I don't know why I'm thinking so hard about Mermaid Alec and Ray's anatomy. Like, this is an AU, not even an official AU for me cuz I was like: Haha what if Alec and Ray but Mermaids. But now I gotta do it, I gotta make this a fr AU by writing for it. Cuz somehow, for one reason or another, I'm thinking so much about their mermaid anatomies, something that I don't even actually need to think about but I am.

[arliedraws]

I think what bothers me about folks saying “canon doesn’t matter” is that the spirit of fandom is this concept of a house with no roof. There’s intent of the author, but then there’s interpretation and using evidence from the text to build new meaning. Within the structure of canon, how tall can you build? What can you take from the original context and expand or critique? (Basically, take canon, ask questions like, ‘haha what if these two characters who are best friends in the book fucked either other???’)

But the thing is, instead of building within the original foundations, folks are building entirely new foundations. There isn’t any inherently wrong about fanon, but you don’t get to build a new house with new rules in the lot next door, tell everyone that we all live in the new house now, and burn down the old one while people are still in it. Some of us want to live in the old house and make improvements. That’s not a bad thing.

(Also, you took parts of the old house, particularly the flashy bits that don’t really add quality to the overall structure, to build the new one and then claim “it’s better.”)

Don’t say shit like, “Canon was created by a horrible person so we’re going to ignore it!” God, you don’t get to pick and choose because the characters were literally created by the horrible person! You gotta accept that you are not morally superior to people who use canon to create transformative fic/art.

My point is, if you’re going to change stuff in a fandom that is probably older than you, don’t claim the moral high ground because you’re playing in the exact same garbage patch as the rest of us, and even if you try to cover up your corner with pretty aesthetics, you know we all live in a garbage dump together.

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

Hi Alex!

I don’t think it’s stupid or cheesy to miss someone, I miss you too! Going back to normal after being on holiday is always horrible, especially after this one, and especially having to go back to school, I’m not a big fan! Do you go to school too? I wanted to ask if you did but I couldn’t… it’s nothing personal, by the way, sometimes I just can’t speak to people and I don’t really know why. I thought it was my decision if I did or didn’t before I met you but maybe not. My parents n’ the teachers at school call it selective mutism but I won’t bore you with all that crap.

I can’t see your new teeth but they grow fast so maybe next time! If they don’t maybe you could get some gold one’s like your dad has, unless you don’t wanna look like a pirate lol.. my littlest sister has four teeth now, and I have all my big teeth! I haven’t counted the twins though cos they’d probably bite me if I tried haha!!

Ava is the tiny one with the blonde pigtails! She’s cute but she still sleeps and poops a lot haha, she’s sorta chill though and definitely doesn’t cry as much as Wren and Byrd used to (have you noticed we’re all named after birds yet? I guess my parents thought it was cute since our last name is Finch) Wren’s the ginger one with plaits! She’s pretty funny but she’s super grumpy sometimes and likes to bite and kick (not me though, she loves me) I think it’s cos she’s tired a lot cos she never sleeps at night, kinda like dad.. they’re twins but Byrd is way different, I couldn’t get a picture of him cos he kept running off, he’s crazy like that but he’s super snuggly and loves playing doctor! He likes to pretend to break my legs so I can’t go anywhere then fix them for me haha. Brothers and sisters are fun but they can be a pain in the butt sometimes! We have a cat called Lou too, his full name is Toulouse and he likes to bring us leaves from the garden and scream about ‘em, and he loves stealing food when you’re not looking.

Dad’s been teaching mom how to cook cos she sucks at it (don’t tell her I said that though cos I always pretend it’s not THAT bad) she’s sorta getting better though so I suppose the whole practice makes perfect thing pays off eventually. I got a school project to make a lame volcano that I didn’t wanna do as well, but my parents made me do it anyway.. we all know that real volcanoes aren’t full of baking powder and vinegar though so I dunno if there was much point to it but they seemed to think it was important so I did it anyway, at least I got a picture of it “going off” I guess. No one likes homework, even if it’s supposed to be fun, right?!

It’s cool you set Amber free!! I’m sure she’s happier wherever she is now so I guess you could just think of that when you miss her? The rocks are way cooler anyway! My aunt Aspen has loads of crystals too, sometimes she even charges them in the sun or the full moon.. I keep forgetting to ask her why but I’ll try and remember so I can tell you next time!

Hahaa your poor dad with those birds! I’ll definitely keep the picture cos it’s hilarious, Wren found it the funniest but don’t worry, I’ll keep the picture safe from her sticky hands! I have a hiding spot in the attic for all the stuff I don’t want them touching. I guess birdwatching is sorta fun sometimes but you’ve gotta be quiet (easy for me I guess.. hah!) I’m not sure there’s any other birds round here other than seagulls since we live right next to the sea, those are the ones you can hear the most anyway cos they never shut up! My dad jokes that he used to be a seagull in a past life cos he’s loud and greedy like they are lol.. he’s been building me a treehouse too, I bet that’d be good for birdwatching!! It’ll be super cool once he’s finished but it’s taking ages cos he mostly does it all by himself, I try n’ help sometimes but I’m still too small to carry or lift most things.. I wanna be as strong as him one day, he can build and fix almost anything (he swears a lot during it though haha!) Do you ever think about what you wanna be when you grow up? I don’t really think about that sorta stuff cos working sounds boring, especially if it’s as lame as school!!

I’m ten, by the way! How old are you and when’s your birthday? Mine’s February 22nd. I don’t think I have a favourite food, anything my dad makes is amazing cos he’s a good cook and my mom makes the BEST pancakes! We’re always stuffed after dinner but dad says (lies) that pudding goes in a different part of your stomach so there’s always room for cake haha.. I think I like it best when he makes spicy food but Wren and Byrd hate it so he doesn’t make stuff like that too often. It’s fun to see how much you can eat before your mouth feels like it’s on fire and I’ve decided I’m gonna beat him one day so he better watch out!!!

I didn’t know what to write at first but I guess I sorta ended up writing quite a lot since I had some catching up to do! Are you and your dad on holiday in the tower or are you living there for now? It sorta sounded like you’ve been there a long time, where do you usually live? What kinda stuff does your dad dig up for work? It’d be cool if he dug up dinosaur bones!! I watched something like that recently and they were HUGE!

It’s hard to think of questions on the spot but you can talk about anything you want too! I probably owe you a million answers as well so you can ask anything you want too! I had fun reading your letter and I’m glad we can be pen-pals even if we don’t get to see each other! Maybe next time we meet in person I’ll be able to say something, but writing would still be fun too so I guess it doesn’t really matter, right?

Love Robin c:

ps. I’m keeping the funny photo of you yelling at your dad and there’s nothing you can do about it!!

pps!! I don’t have a way to print out photos yet otherwise I’d have sent some new ones. Dad gave me an old polaroid ages ago but it’s still broken, his friend said he might be able to fix it though so hopefully I can use that next time. Mom said you can have some of our old ones and the ones from her disposable camera whilst we were on holiday for now though so I’ll send those to you as soon as they come back!

[swanpyart]

This is probably a silly question, but I really wonder how much the Narrator’s plan for the world when you slay the Princess would realistically be as efficient as he thinks.

Like, will animals die? Not just people, but will ALL life forms stay the same forever? Do the animals know that? Do they still attack each other and try to hunt each other for food? I know the Hunted and the Beast are not exactly representative of animals in this universe, but the LQ and Shifty are both gods who did not really need to play cat and mouse in order to survive, but they did it anyway, so…

What if someone is horribly injured, like to the degree that they SHOULD be dead but now just… can’t. Will they heal automatically? Are they made of rubber, so such an injury would not be able to happen in the first place? What if someone needs a surgery for like, an illness? Will it be impossible to cut them open? If someone has a terminal illness, do they just… have it FOREVER? Cus that would be actually the worst honestly. Imagine getting cancer and the universe freezes, and now you live with cancer for literal ETERNITY. Gee, thanks Narrator.

Also, what about FOOD? So much food relies on killing other life forms. So, if things can’t die, then there’s no more meat (unless the meat is still alive, which would be horrific) or certain plants that require you to chop them down. Can you chop trees down to build houses? Would the tree stump die? Does the tree keep growing even when you chop it up? Do new ones grow? Is there any point where supplies just runs out? Do people even eat anymore? Cus let me tell you, every world culture defines themselves on their cuisine, so I can imagine people would HATE not being able to eat the stuff they used to.

Also, do people keep having kids? Cus if literally no one dies, there will be absolutely nothing from stopping overpopulation in like a hundred years. Or is one of the side effects that, because no one can die, no one can be born either? Well, that’d suck for any parents who were planning to have children when the universe freezes.

I’m sorry, I don’t think Narry thought this through before doing this whole “killing death” thing, which makes it even worse that he fucking died. I know his universe is dying, but at least then no ones gotta live with the absolute buffoonery that is an eternity of weird shit like this.

[mellowsaturns]

at the end of the day

summary: after another failed date, you run into bucky barnes on the way home and the two of you get caught in the rain

warnings: fluff, dancing in the rain, talks about love, romcom vibes i hope, pining bucky

wc: 1.7k

a/n: inspired by the talk @jadedvibes and i had a while ago heheh. men suck sometimes but we gotta put our trust in rom-communism and that everything will work out at the end :)

How many horrible dates will you go on to realize that you're never going to have your happy ending? 

The thought plagued you as you walked down the street. You were going to give up on love completely this time, you promised yourself.

You were deep in thought when a soft voice interrupted your pitiful reverie. 

“Oh?” you said, eyes widening in surprise. “Bucky, what are you doing here?”

A light chuckle filled the air between the two of you before he spoke. “I live in this neighbourhood, doll.” 

You mentally smacked yourself on the forehead. “Oh, right. I forgot.” 

His mouth curved into an amused grin before he took a good look at you. “What are you doing here?” he asked, but he had a feeling he already knew the answer. 

You looked down at your outfit, one so different from the usual attire you have on at the Tower. “Isn’t it kinda obvious?” you teased, though your voice’s laced with defeat. “I was on a date.” 

He hummed, “And how’d it go?” 

“Let’s just say there isn’t going to be a second one,” you answered, finishing off with a sigh.

Bucky winced. “M’sorry it didn’t go well.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” you said, “It… it happens a lot, I’m used to it.” 

His brow creased in confusion. “Used to what?”

Did you really have to lay out your shitty love life in front of Bucky Barnes? 

You twiddled your thumb nervously. “Going on bad dates,” you stated, “Never finding anything meaningful from them. Always going home with the feeling of disappointment. You know, the usual.” 

Bucky frowned. He never realized you had problems with the whole… dating thing. At least you didn’t look like it whenever he saw you around the Tower. You were a joy to be around—always surrounded by people. How could you possibly have problems with dating? Half the department was already in love with you. (Not that Bucky was keeping records on names or anything. Maybe a little.) If you had problems with love, then what about someone like him? 

Now that you voiced your problem out loud, you felt a bit better. It’s not that you couldn’t find someone—there’s plenty of someones out there—but none of them made you feel special or seen. That spark you were always looking for seemed to be nonexistent.

Maybe the problem was that you were too picky, your standard was too high—too unrealistic.

Or maybe you were the thing you feared the most.

“Sometimes, I feel like there’s something wrong with me,” you confessed. “No, there must be something wrong with me. Maybe the stuff you see in movies does happen, just not to me because no one wants to put in that effort with me. Maybe, I’m unlovable.”

You never thought you would be confessing all this to him. 

Bucky took a minute to digest your words before speaking again. “Hey,” he said softly. “Don’t you dare blame yourself. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

Looking into his eyes, you wondered if he truly meant it, or if he’s just being kind like he always was. And as if he could read your mind, “I mean it,” he added, reassuring you. 

“Then why…” 

“These people you go on dates with,” he jumped in, “They don’t even realize how lucky they are. You’re amazing,” he said, a gentle smile spreading across his face, “And if they don’t see that or don’t make you feel like you’re on top of the world, then I guess they weren’t that great to begin with. They don’t deserve someone as wonderful as you.” 

You were speechless. Bucky and you weren’t strangers but calling him a friend seemed a bit too… intimate. You don’t even have his number for Christ’s sake. The two of you were just two people who worked in the same building and saw each other frequently and talked here and there. But why did his words mean more to you than any pep-talk your friends gave you? 

“I-l—” you stuttered, “I don’t know what to say. I’m honoured that you think so highly of me.”

If you only knew what Bucky thought of you. He doesn’t really know when it happened, this growing feeling inside of him, but seeing you had become his favourite part of the job. He always tried to spark up small talk (much to everyone’s surprise) but the both of you were busy, always getting whisked away mid-conversation.

Today was the first time he saw you outside of work, in his neighbourhood nonetheless. Perhaps this was his chance—finally some alone time with you. He felt like there were a million things to say, but of course, it came out wrong, as it always does. “I always think about you.” When you raised an eyebrow at him, he corrected himself, “I-I mean I always think highly of you,” he corrected, a tinge of pink evident on his cheek. 

A small chuckle escaped from you, and you had to look down bashfully, trying your best to hide your flusteredness. I always think about you.

You wondered why you never paid more attention to the Avenger who always had business in your department. 

“That’s really sweet of you to say. If I’m being honest, I was genuinely ready to give up on love tonight,” you said with a small laugh.

Bucky swallowed. “Loo—” Before he could finish his sentence, something wet landed on top of his forehead. Then another one. And another one. It had started to rain. He could have sworn that wasn’t the predicted forecast tonight.

The two of you looked up, letting the steady gentle rain hit the surfaces of your skin. It was probably a good idea to find shelter, maybe stand underneath a roof for the time being until the unexpected summer rain went away.

But the two of you just stood there, completely still, looking ridiculous to onlookers. And then you bursted into a fit of laughter. “Sorry, it’s just… I always imagined what it would be like to be stuck in a storm.” 

He grinned. “And how is it?” he yelled through the pitter-patter. 

“Hmm. Not as romantic as I thought it’ll be,” you noted amusingly.

Bucky met your eyes for a moment, then swallowed a breath. “Dance with me?” he asked, extending a hand towards you. 

You raised a brow, heart skipping a beat at his words. You would be lying if you said the hopeless romantic in you never imagined yourself in this position multiple times. You just never thought it would be with Bucky Barnes.

Taking his hand, he led you with small slow steps. 

“You must’ve done this a lot back in your days,” you teased playfully.

Connecting his eyes with yours, he confessed, “This is the first time I’ve danced with someone in the rain.”

Bringing you in and out, and then lifting your arm to twirl you around while the water rippled beneath your feet, it felt like you were suddenly transported elsewhere. Like a movie you had seen on screen that had you swooning. Or a novel you had read late into the night with a gigantic smile on your face. You almost expected some low jazz to start playing soon. But even if it didn’t, it would’ve been fine, because you had the soft glow of moonlight peeking out from behind the clouds, the summer rain, and Bucky with you. It was already enough to set the scene. 

He looked particularly boyish tonight with his hair sticking to his forehead. You had the urge to sweep the strands away.

You let out a small yelp when Bucky dipped you down before pulling you back up so you were pressed into his chest. You were glad the sound of raindrops masked your beating heart. 

He was a bit rusty, he knew that. It has been over seventy-years since he danced with someone. He couldn’t believe how you would think no one wanted to put in the effort with you. He would dance with you in the rain all the time if that’s what you wanted. Would probably do anything you asked of him, if he was being honest.

You’re not a very good dancer, you had to admit. But Bucky was leading you through the whole thing, even smiling down at you when you accidentally stepped on his foot. 

You wondered how many people this beautiful and charming being of a man had swept off their feet before. Hopefully, he still had space in his heart for you. Because you were completely wooed.

As the rain slowed down and sky started to clear ever so slightly, you realized that the spark you were always complaining about not feeling—it was here, in this very moment, ignited from the touches between the two of you. It was there the moment you took his hand. Giving him another sneaky glance, your eyes lit up like a thousand stars.

Maybe the right person was in front of you all along. 

Bucky doesn’t know how long the two of you stood there in the aftermath, looking into each other's eyes. It’s the brightest thing in the city, he thought.

Moments later, you removed yourself from him. “Well, the rain stopped.” 

“It certainly did,” he said, sounding faintly amused. 

“I guess I should get going,” you said, though you were still lingering around.

Bucky, who was soaked to the bones, asked, “Should I take you home?”

You shook your head. “I’m okay. My place is only a few stations from here. Thank you for offering though.” Maybe next time.

Before you completely escaped from his vision, he shouted your name, causing you to pause in your steps and look over your shoulder. “I hope you’re not giving up on love.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to fight back a smile.

How could you?

Bucky Barnes gave you a million reasons to believe in love again. 

[vidavalor]

Hi! I loooove your blog. What's an underrated GO moment that you like?

Hi! Thank you. :) Nice to meet you. I have green tea and raspberry scones for snacks today as I just got back from the bakery. *sets up plates*

You know what little scene I love? I love the bit where Shax comes to the bookshop when Aziraphale is in Edinburgh and, in the middle of threatening Crowley, asks him how to fix the hot water boiler in the apartment. It's a little moment and funny in your first pass watching it but it plays even better on rewatch and once you think about it a little beyond just the initial laugh.

In the attack on the bookshop, we see that Shax is one of those demons that is like the angels in that she thinks of food as human and beneath her. She makes fun of Aziraphale for his human hungers-- for food, for Crowley (who isn't in the bookshop when she's saying this stuff.) So, she's not exactly teaching herself to become a gourmet chef in that apartment now that she's on Earth. She doesn't cook and she doesn't do dishes, really, but... she needs the hot water working badly enough that she's willing to swallow her pride and ask Crowley for help in fixing it, which means her human indulgences are hot showers and honestly? If I'd spent millennia in Hell and got to escape to Crowley's place in Mayfair, you couldn't drag me for a hundred years from whatever tropical rainforest paradise shower Crowley had in that place lol so I can't really blame her. Not to mention that there's not exactly a lot of privacy in Hell, if ya feel me? A lady demon who has finally escaped topside of the fiery pits of Hell might be reluctant to admit it but she might have found one or two things about having a human corporation are not completely horrible... maybe so not completely horrible enough that she's desperate enough to go to the being who has not taught her what Google is for his own amusement for assistance with getting that hot water boiler operational again as soon as is demonically possible lol. (Crowley's canonically excellent taste in showerheads is absolutely the most top of mind meta you're going to find today, I know lol.)

Anyway, this means that Shax interrupted Crowley's afternoon of Operation Lovebirds: Shop Lesbian Vavoom to ask him to make it rain for her in the apartment.

He really hasn't done this much weather in ages.

It's also funny to me that the hot water boiler has rebelled against Shax by giving her two yellow lights (Crowley's eyes) and the solution for it, according to black-clad, silver necklace Crowley, is to turn a black tab on a silver loop. Whether Crowley's apartment is just in revolt against Shax or whether we're poking fun at the fact that Shax appears to have a little thing for Crowley or both, it's amusing.

Not to mention that Crowley's little lesson in locating the "hot water boiler tab" involves finger movements the likes of which have never been used to fix a hot water boiler in all our days lol. Crowley's a free-thinking Cupid. You gotta vavoom with your own damn self sometimes-- he gets it, girl. He's all the flavors of Baskin Robbins, Shax, and he's been on Earth for ages. He knows what he's doing. Take notes lol. If you find the black tab on the silver loop, it'll turn the hot water back on and then if you follow his non-verbal instructions here...

Besides the humor, though, this little moment is also happening in the segment of the story in which Crowley and Gabriel have been puzzling out the origins of gravity together. The heaviness of watching Crowley unable to remember building the universe is balanced a bit here, when they remind us through this scene in which he appears to be explaining something he built to fix his problematic hot water boiler that his curiosity and his need to take things apart to see how they work are not things that can be taken from him and that he rebuilds by literally rebuilding things.

(Aziraphale, we all know you've been breaking things around the bookshop for the last two hundred years and then calling Crowley and telling him that you couldn't possibly use another frivolous miracle to fix it or Gabriel will send you another strongly-worded note and would he please come over... and yes, it is a pipe under the sink again, how did he know? lol)

[jessicaloons]

Chapter 45:

Just breathe, just relax, it’ll be OK

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I woke up to soft barks and whines, Arlo gently letting us know that it was time for his morning walk.

"Charles… Charles…" I mumbled, pulling the sheets over my head "Arlo…"

"He’s your baby…" he groaned turning away and I hit him with a pillow "Our baby… fine…"

"He needs to go on a walk…"

"It’s too early…" Charles whined and I huffed, getting up slowly.

"It’s your week…" I pulled the blanket away and he covered his eyes with his arm "But because you won yesterday I’ll go. This one time." I scrambled out of bed, pulling on some shorts and a hoodie.

"You could just go on the terrace with him… for once…"

"That was just for his training! We’re not taking steps backwards!" I shook my head and slipped on some socks, then opened Arlo’s crate "Good morning little one. You’re a good boy, waiting here patiently for your irresponsible, hungover dad without throwing a massive tantrum…"

"Oh wow… not throwing shade at all." Charles mumbled and sat up slowly, wiping his eyes "I’m awake now… you can go back to bed."

"No, it’s fine, I’ll go." I grabbed Arlo’s harness and leash and walked around the bed "You look… horrible. Sleep." I kissed Charles’ cheek and left our bedroom together with Arlo. I put on the harness and the leash, slipped into my sneakers and grabbed Charles’ RayBan from the kitchen island "Let’s go, little one."

It was a warm, sunny day. A buzzing atmosphere in the air. People we passed talking about how amazing the race was, how Charles won his home GP for the second time, how proud they were on their hometown hero.

"Lizzie?" someone said behind me and I turned around, spotting a very sweaty Max "You’re awake quite early?"

"Me? Look at you! You look like you ran a half marathon…" I looked him once over.

"Almost, yeah." he chuckled and then kneeled down to give Arlo some head scratches "I mean, I didn’t have much to celebrate last night, so yeah…" he winked and I laughed.

"Oh no, poor Maxie…" I joked.

"Need to get used to it again, you know." Max shrugged his shoulders a little, a smile on his lips, as he continued scratching Arlo‘s head.

"I’m sure you’ll have plenty of opportunities this season." I laughed and he got up, lightly punching my upper arm.

"Look who‘s getting all cocky." he said and this time I shrugged my shoulders "Honestly, I’m happy that Charles finally has the car and the team around him to fight me. You can’t be the best if you’re not fighting the best."

"Such wise words from you."

"I’m not getting younger, you know." he glanced behind me and I heard the hectic voices of some fans, turning around.

"Looks like you’ve been spotted. Go on, I gotta go anyways, we’re having some busy days ahead."

"Tell Charles congrats again, and I’ll see you guys in Montreal I guess?" Max waved and walked towards the fans.

"Yep, see you then." I walked in the opposite direction, back home. Arlo happily running in front of me, all the way back to our building. I unlocked the front door and got hit with a delicious smell.

"It smells amazing, you made breakfast?" I slipped off my shoes and unbuckled Arlo’s leash.

"Just some eggs on bread, I’m not a complete lost cause, okay?" Charles laughed, bending down, feeding Arlo a piece of cheese "Good morning little one." he patted his head and then got up, grabbing me by the waist, pulling me close "Good morning my gorgeous girl." he kissed me gently, deepening the kiss as soon as I put my hands around his neck, pulling him closer "I must say… my hoodie, my glasses… it all looks way better on you than on me."

"That’s because some of the stuff you own looks horrible… sorry…" I whispered against his pouty lips "I like the simple Charles, Jeans and T-Shirt… not these weird oversized, crazy pattern clothes you sometimes put on."

"I’m experimenting…" he sighed and I kissed the tip of his nose.

"I know. But most of the time… it should stay inside your closet…" I chuckled and his grip on my waist tightened a little, as he kissed my jaw, down the column of my throat.

"Like the box with my clothes you’re hiding in your closet?" he whispered against the sensitive spot beneath my ear and I swallowed audibly "What? You think I didn’t notice that some of my… more risky clothes were missing?" his hot breath fanned over my ear, then he kissed my cheek and I could feel the smirk on his lips.

"I’m sorry, but some of that clothes are atrocious… that blue tie dye jeans? The baby blue jacket you combined with it? Basically every single one of these pants you would fit in three times?" I bit my lip, looking down "I should’ve told you something… and not just hide your clothes… I’m really sorry."

"It’s okay… I guess Doni won’t be too happy to hear that you find most of his clothes atrocious but okay…" Charles chuckled a little, kissing my forehead "Come on, sit down. Breakfast is ready…" he pulled away and went back to the stove, plating our food.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked, sitting down and Charles raised an eyebrow "That I hid your clothes?"

"No? I mean, I know that style wise you’re more into the classics, a little sporty, simple with a touch of timeless elegance… whereas me? I don’t even know if I have a style? I guess I’m still finding mine and I know that I could need all the help that I’m getting." he laughed.

"Well for starters, wear clothes in your size and if oversized then maybe one or two sizes more… and maybe not the wild patterns you’re going for sometimes? They hurt the eyes." I shrugged a little, biting into my toast "And maybe Doni is better as just a friend… and hoodie and t-shirt provider… but not pants. Definitely not pants."

"Got it… will you help me picking out an outfit for Andrea and Simon’s engagement party then?" Charles sat down next to me and I smiled "You already did… alright." he laughed and I looked at him sheepishly.

"Sorry but I was looking for what I was wearing and so I was going through my stuff and then I saw your suits and thought about something that would match my dress…" I mumbled and he laughed.

"I’m sure whatever you picked, it will look amazing, your outfit as well as mine."

Charles POV:

I looked over the bay, watched the waves gently crashing down the shore when we were called back in and I followed Daniel who apologised himself shortly after and left. As everyone finally sat down I looked over my shoulder, waiting for Lizzie to return. I ordered a bourbon for me and a cocktail for Lizzie, then talked with the two guys on my left, some cousins of Andrea, as I felt a soft hand gently stroking my neck.

"Sorry, love. It took a little longer than expected." she said and sat down on my right.

I turned to her and she gave me a little peck on the cheek.

"It’s alright, cara mia, I had a nice little conversation with Andrea’s cousins. I don’t think they understood a lot of what I was saying, well vice versa, but I was entertained." I said and she chuckled a little right as the waitress brought us our drinks "Thank you." and with a smile she was gone.

"What are we having?" Lizzie asked and looked at the red cocktail in front of her.

"Well I picked something we might later want to try out." I whispered and scooted closer, my thigh pressing against hers.

"What are you talking about?" she said and I could hear her voice getting raspy at the contact of our thighs, I leaned in even closer. My mouth at the shell of her ear now.

"I ordered you a Sex on the Beach." and as soon as the words left my lips her eyes widened and she swallowed audibly. I smirked and gently stroked her thigh with my hand under the table, pushing up her dress. Instantly she began to blush and looked around frantically.

"What are you doing?" she whispered, breathless. My hand slipped even higher, playing with the hem of her slip and she gasped loud enough for some heads to turn. Lizzie cleared her throat and looked apologetic around, her cheeks redder than my SF-24, I chuckled and pulled her dress back in place. Then I sat up and took a swig of my Bourbon.

"You look a little flustered there?" I nonchalantly asked her and she glared at me.

"That cocktail? That’s the closest you will ever get to sex on the beach!" she whispered and with that she grabbed it and got up, walking straight to Andrea and her mother. Cheeks still bright red. Totally worth it.

"What‘s up with Lizzie?" Daniel asked as he sat down opposite of me.

"Don’t know, she has some important things to talk about with Andrea I guess." I chuckled a little and took another swig from my glass.

"Maid of honour stuff probably…" he replied and I nodded "I can’t believe it… first Julia two years ago, now Andrea… you and Lizzie next. We’re getting old."

"Seems like it…" I said, a little distracted by the way Lizzie pulled her dress back into place still.

"Oh wow, you didn’t even deny it!" Daniel looked at me with a big grin and I was confused for a moment "I said you and Lizzie will be the next to marry and you just agreed! Don’t tell me you already have a ring?"

"What? No! God! It’s just… I mean, I will marry her, there’s no doubt. She’s it for me. Always was! But there are no plans or anything! At least not for now… or the near future? Honestly I don’t know, when do you know that it’s the right time?" I said quickly and he nodded.

"I don’t know… maybe you should set up a goal, for when it’s time to propose? Something you want to achieve before you ask her to marry you?"

"Like what?"

"Winning your first title?" Daniel wiggled his eyebrows and I laughed a little.

"Yeah? With Red Bull and Max being this strong? I’d like to marry Lizzie when we’re still young…"

"Oh, we’re talking about the next wedding already?" Shima sat down next to me and I swallowed hard "Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. When will you pop the question? And I need to see the ring first, make sure it’s perfect for Lizzie!"

"There is no concrete plan, no ring, no nothing! Just us talking about it…" I rolled my eyes a little "But rest assured, when it’s time, you’ll be the third person I’ll call…"

"Third? Third!" Shima sounded offended and I laughed "Who comes before me?"

"Well first of all, Juergen, because I will ask him for Lizzie’s hand. Then Joris obviously, maybe even before Pops because he has to give me a pep talk to talk to Pops… and then you." I explained and Shima and Daniel laughed.

"You’re so traditional, Charles. But why would you need a pep talk? Juergen loves you like a son, you have his blessings already!" Daniel chuckled and I shrugged my shoulders a little.

"I think it’s romantic…" Shima sighed a little and I smiled at her.

"I heard that a special guy we both know invited you to Montreal?" I wiggled my eyebrows and she blushed a little "You and Joris seem to get along quite well?"

"Quite well? God, she’s always talking about him…" Daniel rolled his eyes and Shima threw a napkin at him and I laughed, listening to them arguing a little. I was looking up from our table, searching the crowd for Lizzie, when I realised that she was gone.

"Excuse me for a moment." I got up, looking around "Hey Simon, have you seen Lizzie?" I asked the groom to be, but he shook his head.

"Sorry, Charles. But the last time I saw her was with Andrea and our mothers…" he nodded towards the three women, Lizzie missing.

"I’ll have a look." I walked inside of the big estate, searching for her, when I heard the faint sound of a piano, played somewhere. A soft melody that I knew all too well. I followed the music and spotted Lizzie, sitting at the piano, playing a song, singing quietly. I leaned against the doorframe, watching her play, her hands dancing across the keys, her soft voice sounded almost angelic. When she was done, she smiled a little and then turned, looking at me.

"How long were you standing there?" she asked quietly and I pushed off of the doorframe, walking towards her.

"Not long enough…" I sat down next to her, kissing her cheek "That was beautiful."

"It was okay… I’m not that good at playing… need to learn a little more." she shrugged her shoulders a little and I shook my head.

"It was amazing… and your voice?" I pulled her closer and she blushed "I wish I could listen to you sing all day long."

"Oh come on. Stop it." she rolled her eyes a little but I gently grabbed her chin with my thumb and index finger, turning her face to look at me. Her big eyes softened as soon as they met mine.

"I’m serious, cara mia. I wish you would let me record a song, so I can listen to your beautiful voice whenever I want to." I looked at her intently, watched how her cheeks turned a shade darker, a glimmer in her eyes "Maybe one day…"

"Mhhh… maybe one day…" she whispered and I pulled her closer, kissing her soft lips, hoping that maybe one day would come rather sooner than later.

I watched Lizzie climbing out of her car, she looked tense and it seemed like she was limping.

"What’s with Lizzie?" I asked Andrea who followed my look "Did she have a crash or anything?"

"Not that I know of…" he replied and I handed him my helmet, following Lizzie.

She talked with Pete, her face sweaty and she smiled when she saw me approaching.

"Hey you. Good Friday sessions." she said and I nodded slowly "What’s going on?" she asked, when she saw the slight frown on my face.

"That’s what I wanted to ask you? Are you okay? You were limping?" I asked and she looked confused for a second then she began to laugh.

"When I climbed out of the car I hit my knee against the halo. I have honestly no idea how that happened and I also hope that no one saw that, or worse filmed that because I got out of the car rather gracefully after." she scratched the back of her head and I looked at her intently, mustering her face.

"Okay?" I asked and she nodded, pointing to her right knee.

"I might have a nice bruise on my knee tomorrow." she chuckled and I took a deep breath "I’m fine. Seriously! Well not fine, because it does hurt, but it’s nothing bad, it won’t kill me." she reassured me, squeezing my arm "But now I gotta go. There is a lot to talk about for tomorrow. See you later?" she kissed my cheek when I nodded and then walked into the garage, still limping a little. I walked back to my garage, where Brian waited for me.

"Good job out there, Charles." he clapped my back and I smiled.

"Yeah you too." I said as we walked inside, ready to look through the data we collected over the day.

Inside I saw Carlos discussing with is father and cousin in Spanish. He sounded agitated and I stopped when I heard Sainz senior say Lizzie’s name. I looked at them and they stopped talking.

"Still after Lizzie’s seat, I see." I winked at them and then walked away, Andrea waiting for me "I need to learn Spanish…"

"You could just record their conversations and play them to Lizzie." he chuckled and I laughed.

"True… but seriously, I’m worried that they are so adamant about taking over Lizzie’s seat! Now that the Red Bull seat is gone? Mercedes is this close to sign Antonelli? His only options are now what? Williams? Haas? Esteban’s seat in Alpine? Audi would be the best option, that’s for sure…"

"As long as Felix is team principal and Lizzie delivers good results? And after what Sainz senior said about her? After Audi stopped their Rallye team out of nowhere and he had to look for a new team? I don’t think Audi will replace Lizzie with Carlos." Andrea reassured me and I nodded slowly.

"I hope you’re right…"

I took a deep breath and climbed out of the car. The track was bumpy and the way my car bounced over the tarmac made my back burn with raging pain. I hugged Charles. Congratulated him for his pole and then made my way back to our garage after the weighing, where JK already waited for me.

"Here." he handed me my water bottle in exchange for my helmet and I almost emptied it in one go.

"Thanks." I mumbled and followed him inside where I dropped my balaclava and when I bent down to pick it up I hissed in pain, making him turn around.

"Okay Liz, that’s it. Doctor. Now." JK looked at me pointedly and I sighed "This is going on for weeks now, no months actually. I see how you struggle sometimes. You’re in pain. Bad pain."

"It’s no-… okay, okay!" I rolled my eyes a little.

"How bad?"

"I don’t know…"

"Liz… how bad is the pain. Be honest."

"6? Maybe?" I looked down.

"I know you, when you say 6 others would say 10…" he groaned, scrolling through his phone, dialling a number "Hi, can I talk to Dr. Odell? John Knight, he knows me. Thank you…" I cocked an eyebrow and he shrugged "I know him from back home, he a-… Jack! How are you mate?"

I sat down and leaned back in the chair, closing my eyes. JK was right. The pain in my back got worse. I thought it was because I maybe wasn’t training hard enough. But no matter how much I worked out, how many exercises I did, there was still this dull pain in my lower back, sometimes worse, sometimes less. But it was there. At all times.

"Go change, I’ll talk to Pete and Felix…" JK’s voice brought me back out of my head and I blinked confused "I’ll take you to the hospital. A friend of mine will check you through and then we’ll see."

"JK tomorrow’s the race? We need to go over the strategy? Are you out of your mind?" I looked at him with big eyes.

"No. But you can’t drive like this tomorrow, so let’s check what it is and then we can come back and the team can present you the strategies and you’ll pick the one you like. Done." he walked away and then turned around "Go get changed. Chop, chop."

I groaned but ultimately did what he said, maybe he wasn’t wrong after all.

"Were there any complications after they removed the rod and screws?" Dr. Odell asked and I shook my head.

"No, the healing process was pretty quickly…"

"She had some typical swellings and bruises afterwards, but nothing out of the ordinary. We started with strengthening her spine and lower back muscles and increased the intensity slowly but steady." JK said and Dr. Odell nodded, applying pressure on my spine, making me hiss.

"Is the pain concentrated on the area where I apply pressure? Or is it a pain all around that just increases when I push in…" the doctor asked.

"Umm…" I began when JK looked at me pointedly.

"Be honest."

"It’s like a dull pain in my lower back, certain movements hurt more than others and please don’t apply any more pressure because that hurts like hell…" I sighed and he nodded.

"We make a X-ray and I also want a CT scan, then we’ll see what we’re dealing with." he got up and grabbed the phone.

"But you have an idea what it could be, right?" I looked at him.

"I have a theory. But I need to see the pictures before I can say anything…" he smiled and then left the room.

"It’s going to be okay, don’t worry!" JK tried to calm me down but I shook my head.

"What if I need a surgery? I would miss a good amount of races…" I frowned.

"Let’s just wait for what Jack will say, okay?" he patted my back and I sighed right when the door opened.

"Lizzie? Can you please put that on and then I’ll pick you up and get you to your X-ray and CT scan." a nurse walked inside, handing me a hospital gown.

"Sure." I got up and JK left the room.

I changed into the hospital gown and looked at myself in the mirror, goosebumps erupting all over my body. Too many bad memories were flooding my head when I saw how the gown clung to my body and I turned around, stepping out of the room, where the nurse stood and smiled at me.

"Ready? Alright, then let’s go…" she said and I followed her down the hall "We start with the X-Ray and then we’ll go downstairs for the CT scan. I would explain to you what’s happening but unfortunately I know that you’ve been through this all before."

"Yeah… good old memories…" I chuckled a little and she looked at me sympathetically then opened a door to her right where two other nurses and Dr. Odell were already waiting for me.

"Ready?" he asked and I nodded "Then let’s go."

"I can’t go every other week to the hospital to let them check my back!" I groaned while JK navigated the car through the traffic "I don’t have the time! Also, how am I keeping this from Charles? My family? The team?"

"You’re not keeping it from anyone? Are you serious?" he looked at me.

"How good of a doctor is your friend anyway? I want a second opinion! Taking a break? In the middle of the season?" I looked outside and JK sighed.

"Liz, he said he would suggest it, because your spine and dorsal vertebra’s that were injured from your accident are looking-…"

"I don’t care how they look. Or if they are sore, tense, whatever. As long as nothing is broken I’m good to go. Period." I crossed my arms in front of my chest and JK groaned.

"You’re so freaking stubborn! He said we should keep an eye on your back, so that’s what we’re going to do. Every two weeks you’ll get a CT scan, I want your back to be monitored. I think of new exercises to strengthen your lower back and spine." JK said and I looked at him "It’s that or I’m telling Charles and your family…"

"You wouldn’t dare!"

"Try me… I’m serious. You’ll tell Felix and Pete. They need to know it. And then we’ll monitor your back and then we’ll see how it progresses. Do I think you should tell Charles and your family? Absolutely. Is it my decision? No. Will I tell them if you’re not doing what I say? 100 %. So? Do we have a deal?" I never heard JK sound this serious and after a while I nodded.

"We have a deal…"

"Good. And now stop pouting."

I rolled my eyes again and looked outside right when I got a text from Charles.

"Great. Just great." I groaned and JK looked at me "Charles asked me if I’m okay. He heard that I’m at the hospital."

"Well… you might as well just be honest with him." he shrugged.

"Yeah sure and then from now on he’s constantly at my ass, asking me how I feel or if I’m in pain." I rolled my eyes.

"Liz, don’t take this the wrong way, but haven’t you learned anything from the whole mess with Diaz?" JK asked carefully and I swallowed hard "I’m sorry, but you were hiding everything from everyone and suffered through it all alone… and in the end it was even worse…"

"I know… it’s just-… god JK I have a feeling that Charles could really do it this season! He could win the title… he’s in such a good headspace, he’s so determined and motivated! I know that this year is his year… I don’t want him to constantly worry about me." I looked at my hands in my lap.

"I understand you, I really do. But if something happens and he finds out? Don’t you think he’ll be hurt? Mad?"

"Of course… but that’s something future me has to deal with then." I sighed.

"Very mature…" he laughed.

"Thank you." I replied, staring at my phone "Also, your friend said that it’s possible that something happens, not that it’s certain…"

"Yeah, that’s why he suggests a break and every 2 weeks a check up in the hospital."

"Yeah, yeah…" I rolled my eyes again.

"What will you tell him now?" he asked after a while.

"My knee hurt a lot and you wanted to check it through?" I suggested.

"Oh great now you’re pulling me into your lies?" JK rolled his eyes.

"Please?" I pleaded and he groaned.

"I’m not lying for you. You say what you say and I just nod."

"What if he asks you when you guys are alone? Because he will come to you and ask!"

"Then I’ll tell him that you’re fine and he doesn’t have to be worried…"

"Okay… thanks JK…"

"Yeah, yeah…"

"What happened? Ale asked me what’s going on with you and I had no idea and he told me that people spotted you at the hospital?" Charles stood in front of me, the second I walked through the door "Are you okay?" he cupped my cheek, looking me once over.

"I’m fine! It’s just my knee. JK didn’t like that it still hurts like hell and when I told him that pushing the throttle all the time was really painful he wanted a doc to have a look at it." I lied and felt bad instantly.

"And? What is it? Are you okay?" he guided me to the sofa, gently pushing me down.

"Yeah. It’s just heavily bruised. But nothing bad. The doc said I should ice it and keep it steady. Not move much and it’ll be gone soon." I smiled at him when he handed me something to drink.

"Can you drive tomorrow?" he asked and I nodded "Are you sure?" he sat down next to me, carefully lifting my leg into his lap, putting an ice pack on my knee.

"It’s literally just a bruised knee! I’m fine. But thanks for the ice pack." I kissed his cheek and he nodded slowly "Did you eat? No? Can we order something? I’m hungry."

"Sure… after you told me what’s really going on." he looked me dead in the eye and I swallowed audibly "That’s the wrong knee…" he looked down at my left leg in his lap and it dawned on me.

"Charles…" I began but he shook his head.

"Why are you doing this? Lizzie we said we’re honest after all the shit that went down with Diaz last year? And still you’re lying to me…" he sounded more frustrated than angry, more hurt than mad.

"It’s just-…" I stopped.

"It’s just what? What is going on? Is it your back? I’ve seen you struggling with it for months now?"

I closed my eyes for a moment, then took a deep breath and told him everything Dr. Odell had said earlier.

"So he suggests you take a break from racing?" Charles asked and I nodded.

"Yeah… he said I shouldn’t race until the second half of the season… and then also only if the soreness and pain is gone." I said quietly and he took my hand in his, stopping my fiddling.

"What would happen if you continue? Without taking a break?"

"He’s not sure, but one of the things that could happen is that the high force will damage my spine permanently…" I almost whispered and he stroked the back of my hand.

"What would that mean?"

"I don’t know…"

"Lizzie…" Charles looked at me pointedly.

"I might lose the ability to walk…" I sighed and his grip on my hands strengthened.

"But that’s just one possibility? Doesn’t mean it has to happen, no?" a tinge of hope in his voice.

"Yeah. It’s all hypothetical. I also want a second opinion. I’m going to ask Dr. Friese to have a look." I smiled a little and he nodded.

"First things first when we’re back home you’re calling him." Charles said and I squeezed his hand.

"First things first. Promise."

"Can you please stop looking at me?" I sighed and Charles looked away in an instant "I’m fine."

"Are you really? You struggled a little today?" he countered and I rolled my eyes.

"Yes. I’m fine."

"Cara mia, please, talk to me… what Dr. Friese said is exactly the same-…" he began and I huffed "Lizzie…"

"They said that these things might happen! Not that they definitely happen! I know my body. I’m fine. My work out routine is just a little more intense now, so yes. I struggled a little today."

"Okay. But maybe consider taking a break?"

"No! Charles, in one month we’re racing at Hockenheim! It’s my home race! I will not miss that out! Who knows when the next German GP will be?" I said, pulling my knees close to my chest.

"I understand that, I really do, but Lizzie this is about your health…" Charles sat down next to me, cupping my cheeks "I just don’t want you to be in pain constantly, okay?"

"I’m not! I can do it. I would really appreciate it if everyone would just let me do my thing." I groaned and he took a deep breath.

"You promise me that the moment you feel it’s getting worse, you’ll tell me and we go to see the doc?" he said slowly and I nodded "Okay… then I won’t talk about it anymore."

"Just like that?" I asked.

"I trust you." he stated simply and I smiled a little.

"Thank you. Really."

"As long as you’re honest with me…"

"I will be. I promise!" I kissed his cheek, feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

I didn’t try to show it, not to Charles, JK, anyone, but I was scared. To think that continuing with racing could have major consequences was more than scary. Sure, it was just a possibility, but still, the pain I’ve felt for weeks, the throbbing in my lower back after a longer session in the car, how stiff my legs were after getting out of it. Things I didn’t talk about out of fear what they could mean.

"Are you okay?" Charles asked, studying my face "You spaced out a little…"

"Hmm? Oh yeah-… yeah, sure. I was just… umm thank you for trusting me, it means a lot, really." I said quietly, taking a big breath and smiled at him.

"You know that I always trust you, cara mia… it wasn’t always easy, but we’re getting there." he cupped my cheek, gently stroking it.

"I know, I know, but I like you said, I promise you that I’ll be honest about everything. For now, it’ll be okay, I’ll see what I’m able to do, I’ll focus on strengthening my back and then we’ll take it from there." I took his hand in mine and kissed the back of it, when Charles pulled me into him, breathing into my neck.

"The last two weeks made me age for at least 5 years." he sighed against my skin and I felt his warm breath tickling my neck.

"Oh come on!" I chuckled, combing through his hair.

"I’m serious! First that messed up Canada weekend, now you. God I need a good result tomorrow…"

"You’ll win. I have a good feeling."

"Winning in Barcelona would be nice." he said slowly and I grinned.

"In front of Sainz’ home crowd…" I winked and he nodded.

"You’re evil." he laughed, pulling me close "But I love you for that."

"Just for that?"

"No, you’re cute too…"

"Oh thanks… how very nice of you."

He got up and shrugged his shoulders a little, when his phone rang.

"That’s Silvia…" he rolled his eyes and put the phone done "She can leave a message."

"She’ll be mad." I chuckled.

"So what. She’s forcing me to all this stupid videos with Carlos. And I can’t keep on faking a smile when inside I just want to punch him."

"Ignore him. That’s what I’m doing. He won’t get my seat, the interest from Audi died down, Felix talked to the board, they are setting up a new contract for me, Valtteri will leave at the end of the season and Nico will come, Audi is happy because they have 2 German drivers. So yeah, I don’t care about him anymore."

"I know, but after everything that happened… this season can’t be over soon enough and he’s finally gone." Charles said and took of his shirt "But let’s stop talking about him or Silvia or whatever… care to join me under the shower?"

"As if I would say no to that."

"Bill McKnight, CBS. Charles, after winning in Japan, Monaco, Barcelona and last weekend in Spielberg, your closer then ever to Max, with a good result this weekend, you could take the lead in the driver standings. How do you feel, knowing that?" the reporter in the first row asked.

"Umm- yeah I mean honestly, the season started not so great for me, but we worked hard and delivered weekend after weekend, sure, some weren’t that great as well, but over all our season is really progressing in the right direction and we will work hard to get the next win this weekend." Charles answered and I smiled at him.

"Becca Reynolds, ESPN USA. Lizzie, some really observant fans noticed that you started to follow some accounts of wedding dress designers and liked some dresses. Is there anything you and Charles want to tell us?" she asked and I immediately blushed.

"Wh- what? I don’t- we don’t… no. No. There is nothing that needs to be told." I stuttered, taken aback. I wasn’t expecting a question like this and began to laugh nervously "One of my best friends is getting married and of course I help her, picking out the perfect dress." I added and I saw out of the corner of my eyes how Max was trying his best not to laugh out loud.

"If you’ll get married, I hope the whole grid will be invited?" he joked and Charles laughed.

"I see you all of you way too much already! You’re so not coming to our wedding!" he replied.

"Hey! Not fair!" Max said and I chuckled a little.

"There is no wedding or anything planned! So stop whining." I said with finality and he held up his hands.

"Okay, okay!"

"Alright, some more questions? No. Then thank you all and good luck this weekend!" Tom Clarkson ended the press conference and we left.

"So? Are there are really no wedding plans being made?" Max wiggled his eyebrows and I punched his arm "Ouch… I’m not asking again."

"Good."

"But honestly? You should do a Daniel and just get it over with in Vegas." he laughed, and I glared at him.

"What about you and Kelly? You're together even longer than Lizzie and I.." Charles threw in and Max paled visibly.

"Okay, no more wedding talks ever again." he said hastily.

"Yeah, that's what I thougt." Charles laughed and Max just shook his head, waving us off when he stepped into the Red Bull hospitality "You looked damn shocked when that reporter asked you that question.. almost terrified."

"Oh come on. I didn't look terrified! I just wasn't expecting a question like that." I defended myself but he laughed

"I'm just kidding!" he replied and pulled me to his side.

"But honestly? I would be terrified... marrying you? Like hell no." I joked and he pinched my side.

"Careful, cara mia, or there might be a ring on your finger sooner than you think."

"We'll see about that. And now I gotta go." I kissed his cheek and walked towards Julie, who waited for me.

"I think I never saw you blushing this hard." she chuckled, and I groaned

"What was that for a question!" I replied.

"I don't know, but you handled it well."

"Yeah... like a pro." I laughed and we walked inside, Arlo jumping right at me "Hey my little furball. Did you behave?"

"He behaved well as always." Julie smiled, scratching his ears.

"You're a good boy." I picked him up and plopped down on one of the sofas, right when the rest of the media team arrived and sat down as well

"So, we have some things to talk about. First things first. Your upcoming contract renewal. I know, I know, you didn't sign anything yet, but we will announce it at Hockenheim. It's your home race. It's our home race. We're having a special livery and race suit, we're also thinking to put your last name on the back and then instead of your driver number the year until when you're having a contract with us then. 2026 or 2027, I don't know all the details yet. Netflix will be with us the whole weekend, the original DTS crew as well as Elijah, his crew has priority, it's the last race they'll film. In Hockenheim you'll also have some junior drivers with you the whole Friday, to see how a race weekend in F1 works, they are all girls, it's a cooperation with the Fl Academy, Susie will be here as well. That was ist for Hockenheim. We have one team event in Spa where you have to attend, it's a sponsor dinner. But that's all. Elijah and his crew will edit the final episode and it's all shown to you then. You have the final word. He also wants to shoot one final interview with you and record some commentary and then it's done." she looked up from her tablet "Questions?"

"Don't think so." I shook my head.

"Alright, then that's it. Let the race weekend begin."

Charles POV:

"You did a good job, Charles, you-..." Bryan radioed.

"I did a shit job. That mistake cost me the win." I was frustrated.

"But you recovered well. From P13 to P2 in less than 10 laps."

"Doesn't matter. The team did a good job. The pit stop was amazing. I'm sorry for the whole team that I messed up."

"You didn't mess up. You did good out there, even if you don't think so."

"Thanks, Bryan." I sighed, parking the car next to Max, climbing out.

"Unfortunate mate, but what a comeback, well done man!" Max clapped my back.

"Thanks Max and congrats..." I said, opening my visor.

I was gutted and wasn't in the mood to celebrate with my team, but seeing them all chanting and clapping I swallowed my misery and went to them.

"Daghe Charles!"

"Good job!"

"You did good!"

"Thanks guys." was all I could say and when I walked back to get weighed

"Hey." Lizzie bumped into me, a soft smile on her lips "You made a mistake, but you recovered damn well. Please keep that in mind, okay?"

"I don't know..." I began but she looked at me pointedly

"Okay! But the mistake was stupid and shouldn't happen to me, we can all agree on that?"

"You were taking a risk, nothing wrong with that, sometimes it pays off, sometimes it doesn't."

"Yeah…" I sighed.

"Go to your interview and don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m watching your podium."

"You have to go to the media pen, cara mia." I reminded her.

"Yeah I can do that later." she kissed my cheek and pushed me towards David Coulthard.

I took a deep breath and thanked the girl who handed me the microphone and turned towards the former driver.

"Charles, congrats on P2. You’re not happy with the result, I can tell."

"Yeah, I’m never happy with a P2. Especially not when I had the pace to win."

"It was a tight battle between you and Max there, some good racing."

"It was really tight. We had a lot of pace and where at the straights quicker then the Red Bulls. Until my mistake I was in a good position to win." I said honestly.

"You recovered well from P13 back to P2."

"It was the least I could do. The team did such a good job, our strategy was on point, the pit stop was amazing. I had to fight to at least make it back on the podium for the team."

"And that you did. Well done Charles. Congrats again." Coulthard smiled at me and I nodded, giving back the microphone.

I followed George into the cool down room and sat down next to Max, wiping my face.

"Tough luck, mate." George said when the replay of my failed overtake was shown.

"I hit the kerb a little too hard… I’m just glad there was no gravel, one turn later and the race would’ve been over." I sighed.

"True. But what a comeback." he nudged my shoulder and sat down next to Max.

"The least I could do."

I watched on the screen how I overtook Lizzie and had to smile, she didn’t make it easy for me. She fought hard. But eventually I made it past her. The screen switched to the crowd under the podium and I spotted Lizzie next to Joris, right when we were called out on the podium. I heard Lizzie cheer all the way up to the platform and had to chuckle. I was so enamoured by her that I missed the champagne spraying and got soaked by Max and George.

"Hey lover boy!" Max laughed.

"Grab your champagne mate!" George continued spraying us and I grabbed my bottle and sprayed them as well.

"Look at him, he can’t see through his heart eyes…"

"The only thing he see’s is Lizzie."

"Very funny guys." I rolled my eyes playfully when we all toasted our bottles together, taking a swig from our bottles.

After the picture I looked down, Lizzie gone and Joris nodded to the left where I saw her walking off with Julie, I grabbed my trophy and walked downstairs with Max and George.

"See you later guys." I waved them off and then walked back to the garage.

I thanked my team when Bryan walked up to me clapping my back, I handed him the trophy and he looked it once over before he sat it down on the table next to him.

"Don’t be too hard on yourself, Charles. I told you to keep pushing, you pushed… it’s 50 % on me and 50 % on you." he joked and I cracked a little smile.

"You said keep pushing and not push over the limit."

"Semantics." he shrugged and I laughed "The recovery was brilliant, let’s focus on that."

"Yeah. We have to focus on Germany now. It’s been a while since we all raced there the last time." I said and he nodded.

"Just ask Lizzie for advice. I’d say she’s one of the most experienced on the grid when it comes to Hockenheim." Bryan said and I took a big swig of water.

"Yeah. She’ll be one of our main threats that’s for sure. And since Audi will bring some updates as well?"

"Be extra nice to your girlfriend then, not that she’ll kick your ass out there."

"Did you see how she fought me off today? Yeah? That’s the Lizzie I know and love, she won’t back down no matter what. Especially at home."

"Maybe she’ll win her home race just like you won yours." Bryan shrugged and I nodded.

"She will win. I know it."

Chapter 45 - it’s basically just a filler chapter, a shorter one, but I had to make a cut because next chapter we‘re racing in HOCKENHEIM - Lizzie‘s home race and let me tell you, A LOT IS GOING GO HAPPEN… 👀

Also, sorry for uploading so late, I don’t even know how it happened, but I simply forgot to do it on Sunday… I woke up last night at 3 am or so and realised that I forgot to upload 🙈 sorry!!!

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic @ru-kru @shimmermotorsport @janeh22 @kahhorri @18754389 @chiliwhore @hellowgoodbye @queensassybitchsworld @harrysdimple05 @skynel09 @fangirlforever2000

All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram (or self made).

[slashers-and-rats]

Can you please do some headcaonons on what it's like living with Billy? Does he ever leave the building? Does he leave the attic if everyone else is out? What's his favorite food? (Idk what canadians eat lol)

rat chat: this is gonna be a little long cuz i also wanna explain my own idea of how you even wound up in the house.

ok, so, my idea is that the entirety of the 2006!billy backstory happens. y’know, the usual stuff. bad childhood, fucked up situations, the killings, the being sent away- ALL OF IT HAPPENS. except, instead of the house being turned into a sorority, it gets passed around during the years that billy is away. it’s sold from person to person, it ends up in the hands of your grandparents, and after a tragedy you wind up having the house left to you in your will, along with a bit of money. voila, you have the house.

you don’t move in for awhile. the wound is fresh. instead, you work on moving the stuff out of the house and putting it into storage. during that time, you don’t even realize there’s an entire attic. billy knows that, though, and while you’re busy cleaning up the place to start living in, he makes the upstairs his brand new home. so, by the time you actually move in, he’s already there.

it’s hard at the start of you living there. after getting everything out, you gotta put all your stuff in. the house is old and creepy, and it feels like you’re being watched (duh). it’s weird. the first few nights are rough. it’s rough for billy too, of course. he had the house to himself for awhile, he had cleared out some of the cupboards while you were cleaning stuff out so he has a stash of food, he had liked wandering around when you weren’t there. now he’s stuck back up in the attic.

you go about living your life, or at least your new one. you maybe moved from a bit away and are looking for a new job in the area. you have some money from the will to keep yourself comfortable for a bit, but you still wanna get something steady. all the meanwhile, you’re exploring the new house and getting used to being there.

billy, on the other hand, is just watching you all the time. you’re his personal entertainment. sometimes you’ll hear creaks from the ceiling, but you assume it’s just the house settling. the thing is old, it’s not out of the realm of possibilities. it’s when you start getting the phone calls that things get weird.

in the dead of night, when you’re lounging on the couch, you’ll get random phone calls by some freak replaying horrible things in your ear. he sounds like he’s in pain, ranting and raving about things you don’t even really understand. the first few times, you just hung up immediately when he started. he’d call and call and call, and you’d just pretend the phone didn’t even exist. then, after awhile, you would sit and listen. it stopped him from calling for hours after you hung up, but it would also be an hour of you listening to what sounded like this very hurt man SUFFERING.

you can’t say it didn’t strike some pity in you. he sounded pathetic, like a wounded, crying animal, and he just wanted you to listen. it was wrong in a lot of ways, but part of you felt… connected? like, this guys only way of working through his shit was reenacting it all to you. maybe, in some way, it was helping? you’d try to talk him through it and ask questions, but he never really responded. sometimes he’d try to, but he’d just fall back into the same chants and rambles.

during all this, obviously, it’s billy on the other side. he sits up in his attic, laying on his mattress, torturing himself. in my head, sex for billy is a punishment at this point in his life. he doesn’t see it as anything but a way to hurt him, and he’s obsessed with harming himself. he feels like he deserves it. so, while he’s talking into the phone, he’s jerking off like a mad man, and crying, and biting himself, and drooling everywhere. he’s a mess. and he believes he deserves to be. at first, you would say he’s being disgusting and gross, and he liked it because it made him feel shameful, and he deserved it. than, after awhile, you started trying to help him, and it confused the FUCK out of him. because all of his coping is punishing himself with reliving his own fucked up traumas, and now you’re sitting here like “have you tried… seeing a therapist?” and he’s like ????? i went to an asylum and they drugged me up???? is that enough??

it becomes a routine. at some point he tells you his name, sort of. it slips out during one of this moments. as well, you start piecing together his story a bit more, and it breaks your heart. you’re worried. in a fucked up way, you start feeling some kind of sympathy. this guy clearly has issues, he has no one to talk to, and here he is spilling all of his deepest secrets to you. at some point, you ask if he wants your help. he doesn’t know how to respond. you explain to him that he needs help, that he can be better, that it’s a good idea to find someone that cares about him that can get him support, and he just gets upset because that doesn’t exist for him. he’s alone, and your pity doesn’t change that. it makes him so upset, that for awhile, he doesn’t call.

during that time, billy just stews up in the attic. during the nights he sneaks down to watch you sleep. he likes you, in his own way. he likes that you listen, and he likes that you care, even if it’s from afar. but he doesn’t like that, in other ways, you just remind him that he doesn’t ACTUALLY have anyone. you’re a reflection of his own loneliness. because even tho you’re this person that seemingly wants him to feel better, you’re still just over a phone. you’d never ACTUALLY help.

well, that’s bullshit, because one day after weeks of not calling, you’re cleaning out some of the house and stumble upon the attic door. and it’s a surprise, because you didn’t even know you had an attic. a few minutes later, you’re climbing up and finding a very malnourished, sad looking man, who sounds exactly like the guy over the phone that told you all about his issues. who would’ve guessed?

at first, billy lashes out. he’s terrified. he can’t go back to the asylum, he doesn’t want to be on the streets, he’s already struggling enough. he’s scared. you’ve successfully cornered him. on the other hand, you’re baffled that the guy that has been talking to you has been in your fucking attic this entire time. you’re concerned, he’s freaking out, and you just try to console him and explain you’re not calling the cops and getting him removed. in a moment of panic, you say he can stay. it calms him right down. you ask if he wants something to eat, and to take a shower, and you manage to coax him out of the attic and down to the kitchen. one hot meal later, and he’s sitting at your dining room table. you’re very confused, but also after hearing all the stuff he would rant about, you’re kinda glad you found him. at least you could provide him some help? maybe? or maybe just get him to not call you at three in the morning before work anymore.

over the course of a few months, you two do start living together. he gets his own room. you offer to clear out the attic and let him have that space, but it’s clear it holds a lot of bad memories for him, so you give him his own room beside yours. you cook for the both of you, since he doesn’t really know how. he does do lawn work, he seems to like picking weeds and such, and he catches all the bugs in your house. he helps clean when he can, and you he helps you make grocery lists for when you go out on errands. he doesn’t like leaving the house yet, he’s just not very fond of large groups of people.

it’s not easy. he still has his moments. he doesn’t understand what sex actually is. it’s still a punishment. in the night, he’ll come to you, and talk like he did over the phone, and you’ll hold him and try to listen but it’s so hard when he’s clearly so hurt. during these times he gets handsy, and you have to explain to him that you aren’t there to fuck him, you’re just there to listen. billy likes that. a lot of the people in his life got off on his suffering, and yet you actually want to solve it. it feels nice, but at the same time it’s very confusing. he has a lot of conflicting feelings inside of him.

it takes a long time for you two to become something normal, and even longer for you two to actually connect romantically. first, he has to get to a point where he’s healthy. you help him get back on his feet, and support him through learning some new skills and the like. he supports you by taking care of the house while you’re gone, and cleaning up, and doing any yard work or things. he especially likes holidays, and when he gets to decorate. you two have movie nights often, and go through all the films he missed growing up. he loves talking about everything that happens on screen, and you find it endearing. you read to him a lot, and he likes listening and laying with his head in your lap.

he has a hard time keeping his feelings in, and that’s fine with you. you just work on boundaries. he knows not to touch you without asking. you guys are affectionate, since it seems to really comfort him to experience affection that isn’t… bad. whenever you get home he hugs you for a long time, and he likes to cuddle you while you two watch movies, and he asks to hold your hand when he’s stressed out. sometimes he tries to make a move, just so overwhelmed that he starts acting without thinking, and you just have to explain that you’re not ready yet. he knows, and he holds back. it’s hard, but he’s learning.

then you work on actually getting him out of the house. that’s the most difficult. he is not a people person. it starts with walks around the neighbourhood, and then little trips to the store or to pick up take out. that’s all he can really manage. he’s more of an indoor kinda cat, he doesn’t like… others. he likes you, though. it’s clearly more than just liking, he’s kinda obsessed with you. you don’t notice it, just thinking you’re doing what anyone would do for someone in need like that, but he is very very very in love.

i think the first time you actually realize it is on valentine’s day. you come home and he has the kitchen set up, and he used his few cooking skills to make you guys something. it’s a little confusing at first, but the way he’s looking at you, and explaining how he really appreciates what you’ve done… it melts your heart. he’s not talking like he used to, just talking about the nasty things he wanted to put you through, he’s genuinely voicing that he enjoys you as a person. don’t get me wrong, he’s still stuttering and patching words together, and a lot of it is him using lines from romance movies to explain how he feels, but it’s the thought that counts.

you two have a nice night. he doesn’t try anything. you guys just eat and watch some romance movies and cuddle on the couch. and before you head up for bed, you kiss him on the cheek and say it’s been a great valentine’s day. and he’s smitten. he just walks you walk up the stairs and that’s when he makes it his mission for you two to be together.

obviously, down the line, he learns what romance is and what sex CAN be. it goes from him just wanting to bone because it’s all his instincts tell him to do, to him wanting to make love with someone that he loves and it’s a way for him to connect with you. and while that takes awhile, it makes the connection a lot deeper. he’s been through a lot. being able to finally see sex as not a punishment, but a way to express your feelings towards someone is super cool. obviously, before that, he’s expressing himself in other ways, but billy enjoys the fact that he took this thing that used to FUCKING SUCK and make it into something good. and you helped do that.

immsorry this was so long and maybe didn’t make a lot of sense i love you

[emry-stars-art]

I didnt mean to rediscover how much I like brainstorming and world building stuff but here we are - this time it’s (mostly) pirate Neil and shark Andrew flavored!

@tell-me-your-vision had some very good tags on the last post like this so of course I started thinking harder about it lol, you all know by now that the best way to get me to draw more is to leave ideas and questions in your tags 😘 it’s very interesting figuring out what parts I want to be drawn directly from the source animal and what I want to have artistic liberty with! Sometimes you just gotta say “it’s this way because I decided it is” and offer no more explanation, not even to yourself.

That being said. If the snippet interested you, find more of the unfinished scene here :D (and if you want to leave a comment… 👀)

I don’t know how clear this image is going to end up being, so here’s the important notes typed up:

Does [Andrew’s] missing fin cause maneuverability problems? Yep. Fins keep the body stable and streamlined in the water. No fin/half detached fins means Andrew spends a lot more energy to be equally as efficient while swimming. (That’s part of why he had more upper body strength than most mers.)

Does jelly Neil feel pain like humans? Not at all. Pain vs nociception - the detection of averse stimulus. So Neil can sense and respond to ‘painful’ stimuli, and he does feel some pain like a person would in his upper half, but it’s mostly just a sensation that he responds to. (This is dangerous. Less pain means he doesn’t realize how dire a situation may be.)

A second eyelid - like a crocodile/etc; a clear secondary eyelid that closes horizontally beneath the primary eyelid, developed to keep the eye safe and clear underwater. Why jelly Neil rarely ‘actually’ blinks

Pirate Neil’s prosthesis. Most of it is always hidden under clothes; it’s made of leather, copper, rubber, and cumaru wood. It was given to him by Stuart as soon as the man found out that Neil had lost his leg, and Stuart had it custom made through his vast connections. At one point in the timeline, Neil angrily takes it off to show a wary and lashing-out sharkDrew that he has also once been on the wrong end of a ‘whaler’s’ knife.

The tiny two panel comic in the bottom right corner: pirate Neil says “stop trying to stab me in the leg” while sharkDrew was fairly certain he just took out this pirate’s kneecap with his sharp rock

The snippet:

“And it was terrified. It’s second eyelids fluttered, it’s eyes were hazy. It held the rough stone ready in case Neil tried to get close again. It still wasn’t breathing right. It was still bleeding.

“Okay,” Neil said softly. He held his own hands out a little to the side. “I’m not going to hurt you more.”

The shark snarled, though it’s mouth never opened.

“I didn’t hurt you in the first place. They’re still finning mers?”

Neil tried to step in, slowly, and was met with another vicious swing. He was ready this time, avoiding the sharp stone neatly.

“Hey, thing. Keep moving like that and you’ll bleed to death.”

Another attempt, and another swing. Neil looked at the place it’s fin had been, now a horrible, gaping wound on its back. He could see the meat beneath the blood. If he didn’t help soon, the shark would go into shock, if not simply die here on the rocks.

“Do you even realize what’s at stake for you?”

[sevdrag]

hello sev i am sorry to bother you but. if you have the time. could you PLEASE elaborate on how you thought elon musk was a tumblr meme i have not been able to stop thinking about it

So. The first thing you need to know about me is that I haven't been able to follow the news for the last, like, well. About 10 years. First I was in a black-hole-of-employment, and then once 2016 hit, reading the news just made me unhealthy levels of furious. So I stopped doing it for my own sanity. This, more than anything, allowed me to live a blissful life where Actual Husband could update me every weekend on anything important, while I had a drink in my hand. I ignored as much news as I could during those years, cause it turned me into something horrible. So! That's the foundation of this story.

I also don't pay attention to, like, famous people and stuff. At all. I thought the band was called One Directional, okay? I am happy in my little corner.

The second thing to note is that while I'm quite intelligent, I also am incredibly scatter-brained. It's the ADHD.

The third is to note that I'm a heavy Tumblr user. I've curated my dash here to show me, mostly, things I like to see. It's relaxing.

So I saw all the memes about Glup Shitto and Blorbo and a million other made-up Tumblr names (whatever they were back in like 2015-ish) during my daily lunchtime scroll, right? SO when I see a post about a guy named Elon Musk, paired with something absolutely fucking ridiculous, my brain just goes: Oh. Tumblr made up another meme guy. This one's rich. That's funny.

I don't remember, but I'm possibly even reblogging stuff about Elon Musk during this time, still thinking it's a meme name. I mean, look at it. Elon Musk. Sorry, dudebro, but your name be dumb.

Elon Musk wants to build his own spaceship. Okay, Tumblr. Sure. It's like a Tony Stark that's just buttfuckingly stupid. I get the meme. Cause, like, he does crazy fucking stuff, right? Crazy stupid stuff. Gotta be a meme. Tumblr's really going for it, I think. Alright.

Anyway, Elon Musk comes up in a Discord GC one day, and my friends are talking about him like he's a real person, and I just said:

Hold on. I thought he was a meme.

Chat, of course, is silent for a drastically embarrassing amount of time, and then explodes.

And that's how I learned, in front of a bunch of friends, that Elon Musk was NOT a tumblr meme character, but a real-life idiot doing real-life crazy ass shit. It took me a humiliatingly-ass time to realize it, and I DO still get Sevdragged about it to this very day.

tl;dr due to my head-in-the-sand tendencies and my love of Tumblr, unlike the rest of you, I had a blissful period in my life where Elon Musk was completely made-up.

I wish that were still true.

[munsonownsmyass]

Healing takes time

Frank Castle x plus size!reader

Summary: At a low point in life, you meet someone who might just help you get through it.

Notes: I'm going through some stuff and put it in a fic. Is there any other way to cope with life?

@itwasthereaminuteago wrote me three little words (workout with Frank) yesterday and it inspired this.

Warnings: reader had bad self imagine. Insecurities. Some fluff at the end. We do like a happy ending.

Words: 1.5 K

Panting heavily, you finally stop for a break. Almost at a breaking point, feeling the tears threatening to spill. Every muscle aching and nausea building. Is it like this for everyone or just you?

The breathing is still not back to normal as you lean against the wall, chugging down the cold water in your bottle. This is horrible. Working out is horrible. You’re about to break into tears again with the thought of doing this again tomorrow.

“You’re pushing yourself to hard, princess.”

You look up, finding a handsome stranger in front of you. The type of guy you fear meeting going to the gym as a thick woman. Very attractive, muscular, actually looking like he belongs at a gym, whereas you were here for the first time, and it definitely showed.

“I know.” You said, no need to lie to the stranger. He and everyone else here had looked at you, finding all your flaws, probably had an inner monologue about all your rolls and how obvious it was that you were totally new to this. Not even in proper workout clothes, you felt like a fraud.

“You should ease up, let-”

“Thank you,” You interrupt him, not needing a lecture right now. You were already so close to crying that another word might break you. “But I don’t need your help. I know I probably do it all wrong, but at least I’m here.”

Your voice crack at the last word, and you just know you have to leave now unless you want to sob and then you definitely couldn’t show your face here again. You look into his eyes and to your surprise, you find compassion in his eyes.

“Who hurt you?” He asks softly, his voice full of sympathy and it’s too much. You walk off, grabbing your bag and walk out, not even looking back. You fight back the tears all the way to your car, fumbling with the keys when a gentle hand lands on your shoulder. Turning around, you see the man from the gym.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t-”

“It’s okay. This is not about you and I’m sorry. I’m just having the worst week of my life.” You say with a shivering voice, wiping away a few tears. “The man I thought I was gonna marry just left me because I’m not good enough. So I feel like shit and wanted to change. That’s why I came here. But I suck at this, and I should just give up and be one of those women who have a bunch of cats and live alone…”

You sob silently, regretting pouring your heart out to this stranger, but you already feel better, getting it of your chest.

“Do you always interrupt people so much?” He smiles, tilting his head to the side as he cocks a brow at you. You sniffle softly, huffing out a small laugh.

“No, and I’m so sorry for that too.”

“No need to apologize. Sounds like you’ve had a rough time.” He takes a step closer, leaning against your car beside you. “I can help you, if you want.”

“Could you kill him?” You laugh trough your tears and he just smile, the smirk on his face making you question if he took it as a joke or not.

“I meant with the workout. Now, I’m no personal trainer, but I could show you how everything works.” He offers, looking at you with soft eyes. Really pretty eyes. You want to say yes, but you’d be too self-conscious to have this hunk see you all sweaty and weak.

“I really appreciate it, but I can’t.”

“Come on, princess. Gotta make that asshole regret he ever left you.” He nudges your shoulder softly and you hate how it gives you butterflies. You shouldn’t even go there. You’d never be good enough for a guy like that. And you just got dumped! This would be a mess. But you already knew you’d say yes.

“Okay then. But I’m warning you. I’m lazy and weak.”

“You’re stronger than you think, princess. You just gotta believe it yourself.” He smiles again, pushing off your car. “See you here Thursday.”

“But… what about tomorrow?” You ask, already having mentally prepared yourself for some daily torture at the gym.

“Your body needs some rest. Thursday.” He turns to walk back to the gym, but then turns around, smiling at you. “Do you even want a bunch of cats?”

“No, I hate cats. I’m a dog person.” You yell back at him, only to see a wide smile on his face. “I’m y/n, by the way.”

“Frank.” He says, before turning back towards the gym, waving back at you.

--

That’s how you found yourself at the gym twice a week with him from then on. Frank Castle. At first, he didn’t say much, just showed you how the machines worked, gave you some simple exercises and gradually increased the weight and the difficulty of the exercises.

But over time as you opened up more about your past, he did too. How he was born and raised in Hell’s Kitchen to Sicilian parents, how he’d been a major troublemaker as a kid and later joined the marines. The day he told you how he lost his wife and kids, was the first day your new friendship was taken outside of the gym. You invited him to dinner at a nearby pizza place and you had talked for hours until the owner threw you out at closing time.

Frank had helped you heal so much over the past few months and had giving you back the thirst for life. You smiled more when you were with him and felt better than you had in years. Also why you had invited him to your little party tonight, celebrating finally getting a place of your own, sticking to working out for 4 months and starting to feel like yourself again.

With the party at full swing, you look around and can’t find Frank anywhere, but notice the window to the fire escape is open. Peeking out, you find him smiling back at you with a beer in hand.

“Hiding, are we?” You giggle, before climbing through to join him. He just gives you a soft smile as he scoots over, making room for you.

“Yeah, that Louisa girl was getting a little too close.” He grins as he takes a sip of his beer.

“Shit, sorry. But I thought you were single, so I told her to go for it.”

“I am.” He responds softly, looking at the bottle as he fiddles with the label.

“Oh…” You turn a little and look at him, unsure why he’d reject Louisa. Possibly the hottest of your friends and definitely a catch. “Then… Why would you hide from her? I promise, she’s amazing.”

“Maybe she is.” He looks up from the bottle and into your eyes, his softening as soon as his gaze falls on you. “But I like someone else.”

“Damn, you should have told me. Then I wouldn’t have set her loose on you.” You giggle softly, shrugging apologetically. Truth be told, you would have hated for her to date Frank, but you couldn’t just keep him to yourself when a guy like that deserved so much better.

“I want to. I was just waiting until she’s ready.”

“Ready for what? I can’t imagine anyone not being ready for you, Frankie.” You laugh it off as a joke, but deep down you’re serious. How anyone could not be willing to be with Frank was a mystery. He was so kind, had been a rock for you these past four months and he was fine as hell.

“It takes time to heal, sweetheart. Especially after a failed engagement. And I don’t mind waiting a little longer for you.”

“For… me?” You ask, your voice barely above a whisper. You can’t really believe what you just heard. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe he’s just drunk. It couldn’t be. “B-but… why? I’m not…”

Special. You trail off before you can finish the sentence. At that he just chuckles softly, like you’ve just asked the most ridiculous question in the world. “I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.”

“But how? When? I…” You stumble over your words, not sure you’ll ever be able to form a coherent sentence again.

“You’ve said that I’ve helped you heal. Truth is… You healed me too.” He reaches out for you, his hand gently cupping your cheek as his dark eyes stare into yours. There are so many unspoken questions hanging in the air, but you try to silence the voices.

He closes the distance, letting his lips claim yours in a kiss that takes your breath away, but it’s over too soon. For a moment, nothing exists beside you and Frank. The music gone, the city silent.

Tagging: @idrinkcoffeeandobsess @e-dubbc11 @theradioactivespidergwen @mattmurdocksscars @murdock-and-the-sea @mindidjarin @chvoswxtch @boliv-jenta @lucy-sky @darlingshane @saintmurd0ck

For the first time in a long time, you know things will get better. They say anything happens for a reason and you now know you were meant to meet Frank. You had been broken, but he had put you back together. Healing takes time, it takes practice… and a little bit of love.

[wifeswarmacademy]

I'm finally joining a lancer game, and I have a lot of thoughts about the system. I gotta say, I feel like the way Ive seen others on here talk about it as a system seems very different from how it appears based on reading the core rulebook (and stats for the free stuff on comp/con). It seems quite limited in terms of what sort of mechs you can create within the system, various prebuilt frames with little room for customization. There are some fun combinations, but its not really building your own guy. (I planning to get an empakaai, grab an impact lance, and get external batteries from tokugawa, so i can melee everyone in a 5 hex line and grapple everyone) In particular im kinda dissapointed that there isnt much interesting for movement. you can run on the ground, with great difficulty you can fly, and you can teleport. Some get some more advanced stuff like blackbeard moving with grappling hooks or deaths head letting you run on walls. As far as I can tell, there is no mechanical support for a mech that moves around as thought they were on rollerskates. Im not joking that this was a major let down when people were talking about being able to recreate their favorite things in mech media, and realizing there wasnt support for this. I understand the lack of rules support is because the way they move with all the different body shapes of the mech is ill defined, but to me it just feels like moving around game pieces when the pegasus in an identical fashion to a raleigh. I just dont get the sensation that my guy is crawling around on the floor in a fucked up way.

I am extremely impressed by how the game handles NHPs. Its rare for a game to get players so excited about the prospect of losing control over something. The mix of mechanical effects and stellar writing makes it just seem really cool to lose control, but I recognize how effective this is is entirely reliant on how good your DM is. The setting is fantastic, and I think there is good reason why when i see people talk about lancer, its so often about the lore. The history of the Union is just great, with everyone ive talked to about it seeming to take different things away from how it operates. In particular, the setup of the game seems to enable just about any type of character people want to play. My friends that made characters vary from over the top and edgy, rogue illegally cloned super soldiers; ironic and amusing, forum lurker turned amateur pilot perpetually hooked into the omninet spewing whatever memes that may or may not be linked to something horrible clawing through to reality; or grounded, a maintenance worker who helped defend a trade ship against pirates and then decided to change profession and receive formal combat training. I would say it is a well done simple RPG with limited options and a phenomenal setting. Simple systems without a lot of numbers are not my bread and butter, but I have to appreciate the style in it.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for stealing my enemies’ power source twice and “kidnapping” a famous pop star?

Okay, uh, this does sound bad when I write it out like this but here goes:

I (130+ M) am the ruler of a group of people that lost a war we fought in over 100 years ago. Exiled from society, forced to live in decaying underground ruins of an extinct species, blah blah blah. The main problem is we’re runnin’ out of power. Have been from the moment we lost the war.

The other side, though? Our enemies that defeated us over something as stupid as territory? They got a massive power source. We’re talking big as a building here. So, I figured, why not take it for myself? It’s not like they were gonna share it, and we were (and still kind of are) literally dying. That way I can at least stop the ruins we’re in from literally crumbling down around us.

The first time I tried it went HORRIBLY. My ex lover mortal enemy (130+ M) realized it was missing almost immediately, and recruited some kid to stop me. They very forcefully stormed their way into the cities we had built and LITERALLY killed innocent civilians. I tried to fight them and lost, obviously. They put me in jail until I broke out.

The second time I tried is… a lot less noble of me. My mortal enemy’s granddaughter (20+ F) also happens to be a pretty famous singer on the pop scene (considering her and her cousin’s LAST appearance caused 40% of my soldiers to defect…) and she’d been having a really hard time.

Long story short, I invited her to join forces with me. There may or may not have been gentle coercion that involved taking advantage of her weakened emotional state, but my point is that I did NOT kidnap her like everyone else thinks. She was willing to hear me out. So I took the power source a second time, and made her my second in command. This very clearly didn’t work, either, as her cousin (20+ F) and ANOTHER kid beat me up. Again. They put me in jail again, too, but I broke out eventually. Me and the pop star are still besties, though.

The problem? It’s been five or six years, I haven’t done anything else since then, but everyone ‘n their mother seems to think I’m the scum of the earth for just trying to help my people, even some of my former soldiers themselves.

And some of that is UNDERSTANDABLE! For literally a century I was drilling propaganda into their heads (NOT MIND CONTROL THOUGH COME ON PEOPLE) and being way, way too strict with how I treated my subjects. I KNOW I was the asshole there! I KNOW! And I’ve been trying to fix that!

…But am I the asshole for all that other stuff? It’s not like I can even steal the power source again, considering I’m gettin’ too old and me and my mortal enemy are on mostly neutral terms now, but I gotta know so I can make things right. My people don’t have to live in fear anymore.

I probably am, but I’d like a neutral opinion on this instead of the same people telling me I’m either the worst person alive or a saint that did nothin’ wrong at all.

[kroosluvr]

i'm genuinely curious I WANT YOU to outline how the shu/ake/sumi romance/and-or/situationship would unfurl in a post-p5r reality (where akechi lives, of course). what are the bullet points for what would happen between them. would they have a falling out. are they doomed. would they be horrible at communicating. would they finally be good at it. which pairing comes together first, if any at all. or would all 3 pairings happen at the same time at the same pace. or are they all in a limbo, not romantic nor platonic but a secret third thing.

OMG HI. HIIIII ok so. i havent actually thought about it that much (SURPRISING I KNOW) because i honestly suck ass at timelines (in regards to canon. tennis au on the other hand...) BUT I WILL DO MY BEST a lot of this is loose too.... im totally up for most anything but this is how i see it most of hte time heheeh (TY FOR THE ASK I LOVE THINKIJGN ABT THESE 3.)

this is .. kinda.. long.. ahem

pre-p5r: sumire is acquainted with goro thru her dad's show: they're not friends, but she's talked with him more than her sister. so when goro meets 'kasumi' at the cafe something strikes him as odd but it doesn't quite register: like ehhhh well why should i care / maybe my memory is just wrong / not worth my time

during p5r: 'kasumi' has a crush on akira, a kind of on-the-surface adoration of "wow i think you're really cool and we get along well!" nothing that's super advanced on or anything, and akira doesn't see her as anything beyond friends anyway.

she drops the crush upon reverting back to sumire, and it builds slowly over the course of 3rd sem but is also never really actualized - like she likes him ok whatever but then what..??

3rd sem (long winter au): long winter barebones: maruki's idealized world starts like on christmas or smth (havent thought this out TOO much LOL) and royaltrio-centric part of 3rd sem lasts for quite a while, at least 3 weeks-1 month. how does this work w the timeline i have no idea. BUT it leads to tense moments like spending new years together with the idealized thieves and trying to stay upbeat during all that, all the attempts and failures at breaking them out of it, and a LOT of tension during this time.

they argue and fight and are irritated with each other a lot of the time (goro the most vocal abt it obviously, sumire kind of drawing back into herself, and akira doing his best to stay optimistic. i think when akira starts to lose his spark is when the others r like oh we gotta make up for that slack and they finally up their game a bit) and yeah even sumire argues with akira and with goro and etc. im figuring this out PROMSIE ill come up w stuff and draw comic/write fic for it...

also 1/9 sumire fight is probably the beginning moment when goro starts to respect sumire more/see her more as a friend/comrade than a teammate. bc she almost kills joker and then him LMAO really giving them a run for their money... and also he really sees the pain she feels at being herself and resonates with it, either unconsciously or consciously

also upon seeing her Past broadcasted on maruki live television:tm: he makes the connection and is like oh so that's what happened. so all this time she was just masquerading as someone else. hmmm

anyway they're all very fragile and scared and sad during 3rd sem so they stick to eachother closely bc they're all they got to lean on. i think they have a lot of skinship during this time? handholding hugs leaning on each other sleeping in the same room (they hang out at leblanc A LOT bc 1) they're kind of afraid of being alone during this time 2) they're afraid of the OTHERS being alone during this time 3) leblanc is "untouched", compared to other parts of maruki's reality. can u imagine if even goro's apartment suddenly became nice overnight LMAO) but its like no feelings attached, just pure comfort kinda thing

kissing could also happen during this time but also no feelings attached, purely Why the hell not etc sort of vibe.

also goro and sumire get on first name basis during this time. this comic i drew w goro dying in my head which is Why he initiates first-name basis, but we can operate off the idea that he thought he'd die but somehow magically didnt. YAY!

but they have impeccable communication w each other and are very honest with their feelings. (goro avoids talking about his past tho. so maybe not THAT honest.) but they all achieve a really strong understanding of each other to survive maruki's winter wonderland...

i do think they develop feelings for each other during this time but they're all confused whether it's feelings of like comfort/security with each other or like romance/yay. so like nightmare situationship basically. so they all individually decide to hold on to this happiness while it lasts bc they sure as hell know it won't last (when have any of them been able to keep good things)

3rd sem: the thieves join yay! i think they'd notice that the 3 of them have become very close-knit (bouncing off eachother insanely well in battle, talk to eachother casually, and are generally pretty affectionate with each other. weird but ok! at least they (akira goro.) aren't trying to kill each other all the time.

this is also nice for sumire bc she had those 3-4 weeks to kinda Figure herself (sumire) out btwn akira and goro so she's less like down in the dumps about not being 'kasumi' anymore and more secure in herself and stuff like that. yay!

they beat maruki and stuff. YAY!

post-p5r: akira moves back to his hometown for 3rd year of highschool and college, goro is who-knows-where (i imagine he gets back on his feet of his own making and then goes abroad for school somehow. idk just seems like smth he'd do esp since i think he'd avoid everyone during this time) and sumire stays at shujin for 2-3rd year, then probably goes to a uni in japan but goes abroad for 1-2 yrs (gymnastics and etc.)

the "goro doesn't die and reunites with akira/sumi" timeline

goro, walking into leblanc on 2/4 or whatever: hi guys i didn't die actually

sumire: haha why would u silly? lol

akira: WHAT THE FUCK

the end.

i think they do go to separate universities though and theyre like damn wait i miss those guys but they go thru school and keep pretty decent contact w each other and see each other during vacations and stuff when they can and then when they come back to tokyo it's like no time has passed btwn them and they just pick up where 3rd sem left off but like better and happier and more peaceful. YAY!

i haven't really thought of how they "CONFESS" or whatever but i think all of them just feel (TWINGE OF JEALOUSY) at the idea of any of them dating someone else so theyre like ok well thats that i guess. we're a thing now (they refuse to use any other terms like that i think. For a while at least. until maybe one of the thieves etc gets engaged/married and then theyre like ok we can grow up about this. but basically they're just A Thing and Offlimits:tm: and etc.)

COMMUNICATION IS GOOD HERE!!!! i think for sh/uakes/umi i prefer them becoming a Thing at once rather than 1 couple happening first (esp since i like the idea of "none of them rlly understand romance and stuff so they just say 'fuck it' and become Thing" like thats kinda funny asf to me.)

i also feel like to anyone else they just seem like a group of besties until u see exchanged kisses or hugs or interlocked arms/hands and ur like wait....? hm. well idk. (bc they don't either. no one has any idea)

the "goro doesn't die and avoids them" timeline

also in my head sumire doesn't endeavor for the olympics/world stage/international fame and just kinda sticks around national rankings while she still figures herself out (in this timeline. also probably true for the other one but shrug IT CLD GO EITHER WAY I THINK)

somewhat relevant is my shsm fic where i elaborate on sumire's emotions more during this time (especially while thinking goro's dead). <- actually this is pretty recommended cele sumire reading bc this basically totally encapsulates how i see her. the first oneshot is 6k words tho ITS A MOUTHFUL.. SORRY

she and akira drift farrrr apart. she feels extremely guilty and also bitter and frustrated about goro's death and the fact that akira didn't tell her (or goro, in fact.) and he feels guilty and sad about it too, that he should have done something? anything? for him or for her, and he couldn't figure it out and now its over. so now the two of them r grappling w this and trying to overcome it and forget each other even tho the memories during 3rd sem, although painful and haunting, still were sweet and nice and they don't want to forget but they HAVE TO MOVE ON... RIGHT....

meanwhile goro's probably thinking like "damn i miss those guys." but they also think he's dead so hes also like "this is stupid i have to move on(?) Or whatever." ok imma be honest i didnt really think THAT much into goro's thinking during this time (YET.) bc i think he'd be floundering a LOT with everything during his life and being kinda just miserable.

also during this time they try to date other people and it all is miserable and falls apart and also they havent forgotten about the other two so theyre like fuck.

akira - 25~, sumire - 24~, goro - 26~, eventually goro moves back to tokyo and kinda just goes about his life hoping he'll see them again. or maybe find out what they were up to and finally get some closure. wow he does! they kinda all go back to tokyo at the same time wow shocker soulmate things IM JOKINGGGG but they all kinda hold that sentimentality of ok so much time has passed maybe i'll feel better about this place now. and then when they run into each other again its like no time has passed at all. HAPPY ENDING YAY!

communication is less good in this timeline now they're healing from the "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD" stuff. so thats a whole nother can of worms. probably ironically in this universe they try to actualyl figure out how this whole romance thing works so they can label each other as partners and be like OK DONT RUN OFF AGAIN. ANY OF U!!! DO NOT!!!!

ok this shit is so long im so sorry. HI. SDGSHKJFHJKDSHG THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE ASK IM BAWLING i really havent thought much of post-3rd sem stuff as u can tell........... but i WILL ipromise.

edit: LAST ADDENDUM im very passionate abt shsm being nightmare situationship. guys who never got together but got divorced 50 times. sh/uake fits into this category as well i think. i can also kinda see ak/esumi like that but ironically i feel like they'd have the most stable situationship out of the 3 individual ships..... idk.. need to let it all cook in my head a bit more BUT VERY PASSIONATE ABT THE SHSM THING.