#got accepted to grad school
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#in cleaning my room yesterday I activated some of the like. dormant dust that was laying around and i didn’t get much sleep last night#bc i was just coughing and wheezing and stuff. i got the rest of it this morning but I still feel like shit and i don’t wanna go to class#i feel like i can’t#i know im lucky but i feel like im always sick or something is always in pain or im fatigued. It’s a wonder i get anything done#I think im suffering from senioritis even though i still have grad school#i’m just so so tired#my prof was wearing a mask last class which isn’t normal in my area and like. good on her for wearing it but if she’s sick she shouldn’t#come to school#idk why (actually i do it’s capitalism) it’s so normalized to keep going to school and work even if you’re sick#like you can’t miss for menstrual cramps or allergies even if they get debilitating. can’t miss for a mental health crisis#i’ve had coworkers throw up mid shift and keep working bc they can’t afford to clock out#i feel like it’s only acceptable to stay home sick if you’re continuously throwing up aka not useful for the business#ugh#rose.txt#tw vent
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Alya ma'am you don't look like a hot topic employee I'm afraid we're going to have to ask you to leave the paris special
#ml#miraculous ladybug#ml spoilers#miraculous ladybug spoilers#ml paris special#alya cesaire#why do they always give my girl the best designs#like she deserves it but#art#ml paris#ml paris spoilers#thank you vaporwave alya for breaking me out of my art block briefly and temporarily#i can now return to my natural form: making ml shitposts#for maybe a day or two until school gets busy again#did you guys know i got accepted into grad school#i wrote a paper that can be checked out only of my institution's library#it's cool if you are easily impressed
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pretty fucked up that if I'm applying to a school I've already attended (and graduated cum laude from) that they would insist I pay money to send them their own transcript
#i fucking hate capitalism#I'm having to try another school to get my prereqs in for my grad school app#because apparently community college no longer allows you to just take courses for things like that and go somewhere else#and on the off chance they'll approve it they won't let you use student loans#JFC#I'm so fucking mad right now#None of this came up when I applied and got accepted and got my financial aid award#but sure#this is fine
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ko-fi fic uploads
hey guys, I'm going to start putting some of my new tumblr prompt fills and writing warm-ups (ficlets of 4k-6k length) up on my ko-fi!!
Monthly supporters will be able to go into the gallery tab on my ko-fi and click on an uploaded image. The title will be which tumblr-based au the ficlet fits into and how many words it is. The description beneath the image will be a quick summary of the au and a link to the google doc containing the ficlet. The "root" au post, aka the post that started the au on my blog, will be linked as well on that google doc.
This will not affect my wips and progress on them in any way! I feel like that's very important to state - I write these sorts of ficlets all the time because it helps get me in the writing mindset for writing ao3 fics. I will just be spending a little extra effort on them to put them up on ko-fi.
I will NOT be posting any ficlets on my ko-fi that you need to read to understand a fic on ao3 - that's some disney monster conglomerate kind of shit. I will also still be posting shorter ficlets (1k-3k) on tumblr as I write them, especially if I'm answering a prompt someone sent me here. Again, I think it'd be a bit of dick move to not do that
I'll try to vary which ficlets go up on ko-fi and every time I upload one, I'll make a post about which au it is as well as a link to the page in case anyone wants to, idk, unsubscribe for a month because they hate the hopeless in coruscant au, and then refollow next month because they enjoy the playmaker au etc etc
I'm definitely still trying to figure out what I want this to look like and what feels fair or reasonable, so hopefully this isn't a huge mess on my end!
All this being said:
I've posted the first ficlet/fic on ko-fi: it's for the Senator Menace AU, an au that's basically "What if phantom menace but reversed? how fucked up would anakin get over the youngling his father master died to protect?"
the first au post is here // my ko-fi is here
#obikin#my fics#i really hope this works ok#i know fan artists do like monthly subscribers or supporters#on patreon or ko-fi#but i haven't really seen fic writers do it#so i really don't know how it's going to work#i think the lowest for monthly supporters is $4 ? but no one has to go higher or anything!#it's not tiered membership/supporting#so if you do the lowest you should still have access to everything#im applying for grad school in the next few months and i saw the application fees are like. wild.#LOL#but commissions got really stressful for me at times#but i think this could be a good sorta thing?#maybe?#i'll reblog this once at a reasonable time tomorrow and if nothing comes of it thats also fine fr#accepting suggestions on this too if people have ideas#ideas for aus for ficlets and also ideas for how to improve this#if it turns out to be confusing or a clusterfuck#yes i do understand that anyone could share that link with anyone and get access for anyone#but im hoping that that happens not a lot or not widespread#also honestly this will not affect working on my wips#or new fics#cause lol if people wanted me focused theyd just take away my tumblr or somethign#im a lil stressed about this if you couldn't tell from all these tags#and the late night for me posting time lol
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2024 has been pretty wild for me
Tw: death
#my dad passed#he pretty much raised me and it was sudden and I was the one to find him so it’s been difficult#I left my partner of three years cuz grief made me realise I’m in love with the co worker I’ve been calling my fp#I tried to make it work with my ex for so long but I just didn’t feel loved#but I think I’m finally with someone I think might be it and he’s been amazing#I got published by springer finally#got into the grad school I want to go to#it’s just me and my mom now and it feels like I don’t have a sense of family anymore since she’s not been the most motherly mother figure#but I’m trying to accept that#grief also helped me realise I have some really amazing friends#I’m way stronger than I realised#which is nice when you feel like you’ve lost home#but I guess you can find new ones and I’m happy I’m with someone#who actually wants to build a life with me
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lying on my bed at 6pm bc it's finally the weekend and the last two weeks have been some bullshit
#the first week of September not only did i have a cold but i was also in a mad frenzy to mail my grad school application to korea#within the VERY short window in which they accept them#and i had to run all over while I was sick (I wore a mask everywhere believe me I did not WANT to go out) for a day to get it done#and it was sooooooo expensive to mail quickly hoooolllyyyy shit#i had a friend over last weekend which was fun but exhausting#then sunday night after a relaxing day i check the tracking link for my application papers and it said they couldn't deliver it#but there were 2 updates one said the address was wrong one said they couldn't get access to the building to deliver#SO ANYWAY I freaked out and didn't know what to do and by time I put my phone away and went to bed it was sooooo late#and I spent Monday/Tuesday being worried 24/7 and going back and forth between the university and UPS on email/phone to get it sorted#thank god I got a delivery notification super late on Tuesday before I went to bed and the school updated my application by Weds am#so I can sleep in peace for now#but ......god#why does the plot always have to be thick like pleaseeee#so anyway Im taking this weekend to rest and recharge#my friend sent me a gift box from lush to make me feel better and I WILL be using it🥹#I plan to relax and plan my korea trip and sleep a lot this weekend tbh#also i get paid today yayyy#haven't posted a long personal vent in awhile figured it was time✨#//#personal
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#Happy that it's Friday#Sad that it was my last Friday at this school#My students were super sweet and told me they would miss me#I got to give my seniors their grad presents and that was fun#Still it's the end of an era and I'm going accept being down about it for a few days
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#if u r curious abt following the saga that is my life:#i did finally accept an official offer from a school this afternoon. which is a huge relief and really exciting#and for once i think i did something that will b good for me in mind and body lol bc i think i could b happy with any of the places i#applied to but this program is most geared to my interests and its in a place where i think i can have fun due to the accessibility#of nature and the mountains haha. like at rutgers i think i could have got a good education and had a lot of opportunities but i think it#would have crushed my soul a lil bc it would b more high pressure and in the city. ya kno? so i hopefully i dont regret the choice lol#i still have to wait on the offical acceptance stuff but now at least i can allow myself to get excited abt the potential project and start#researching. which i mean ill have 5yrs of a phd for that but idk im excited and my life feels so empty and meaningless rn ive gotta take#the excitement where i can haha#anyway housing is gonna b a bitch bc there arent a lot of places available in grad student price ranges in the city to the point where they#said so in the official offer rip. and i have to decide when im leaving the southwest bc i could stay til August or leave in july and take#like a whole almost 2 months to just not b doing anything for a sec. and my dad was like !!! u could go to the crazy state parks#or drive out to the pacific northwest! and that would b amazing but also that sounds so scary to do on my own lol#like i dont wanna b missing and murdered as a youngish non guy traveling alone#but i could do it if i tried im sure. anyway i just wanted to let yall kno#bc im so doom and gloom on here all the time but a transition period is looming so im only stuck here for a few more months#and hopefully itll b a page turn into a happier place haha#watch out yellowstone cyanobacteria. im coming for u >:-]#knock on wood. ya kno. just in case#hhhh at least i can breathe a lil better now i have a direction#unrelated
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god this is when me avoiding all the fucking admin shit bites me in the ass.
trying to finally sort out all this fucking bullshit with my home country (where i havent lived since before i turned 18 and have no intentions of ever permanently returning to), and of course they're stuck in the 80s or something so everything needs to be signed, stamped, officially translated, approved by three different agencies etc etc etc. and of course i live in an extremely digitalized country now so everything has digital signatures (not accepted by my home country) and i can't even /get/ everything
#herr's personal tag#ugh#fuck this shit. seriously.#i possibly owe them like tens of thousands of dollars in health insurance payments#even tho i havent lived there for years and ive been covered in my current country of residence#and it's illegal to be insured in 2 EU countries at once#and also i counted as a full-time student until about a year ago and full-time students are exempt from having to pay for insurance#and of course my mother was like#“yeah i got it all sorted”#well#turns out im so fucking stupid i cant even believe it. because of course it's fucking not#and like i know she's full of shit sometimes and i've heard her say stuff related to this that i know was incorrect#i so should have known better. but here we are#so now i gotta#1. fucking finally deregister from both the country and the insurance company so this doesn't keep getting worse#(at least this should be doable tho there might be a fine included for not doing it earlier)#2. get a bunch of documents from my high school and uni#and get those approved as equivalent to full-time studies of the appropriate level#which is gonna be fun because not all of these even exist over here and also my degree was an integrated masters#so there's no clear undergrad/grad division#3. try to retroactively apply to have my insurance payments from all these years forgiven#also 4. get proof that i've been insured over here for the past 10 years and shouldn't owe any insurance payments anyway#because being insured in two countries is impossible under EU law#and also try and get the payments forgiven that way#ughhhhhhhhh#and there's no guarantee they'll accept any of this as i'm doing it all retroactively#and i don't know what my mom has/hasn't done in relation to this as she's definitely faked some power of attorneys etc in the past#and she will 100% lie about this#srsly fuck all this shit. i'm also moving to yet another country in 2 weeks. it's gonna be sooo much fun
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i'm ngl the system is bumpkiss BUT going to college is still so so worth it. 17 y/o me had never heard the word geoscience. 25 y/o me jumped for joy literally upon getting accepted into a geoscience grad program. capitalism bad yes absolutely BUT go to college bc it will show you just how many options there are. you don't have to settle for stocksman mcbanks or line cook. you can work as the guy who gives octopi x-rays or as someone who can literally read the chemical signatures of precious gems on alien planets. you can be indiana jones or katherine johnson or dedicate your whole life to studying water bugs. and the way to get there, the way to find out about how many career paths you don't know about, is to immerse yourself in academia. go to college and take the fun gen eds (not the easy ones- the interesting ones) and accept the debt bc you might end up in a career that pays you six figures to do something you actually enjoy but had never heard of until you were 21 and managed to pivot to a minor that could get you into grad school. it's so so so worth it.
#college#college advice#high school advice#capitalism#this is all i know to be true#and i know i KNOW the system is classist and hard but i was homeless for three months before i started college#if i can make it to grad school so can you!!!#i was a flat broke nb bisexual with one parent left and lived in a shed senior year of high school#i'm diagnosed ptsd depression anxiety & panic#and i graduated with a 3.2 and got a 316 on the GRE and got into a good grad program#i got accepted to LAW school with a $40K scholarship#if i can do it anyone can!!!
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i’m a published author :)
#my lab published a paper that i did work on so i’m listed as second author :)#my first ever publication!!!#ALSO i got accepted into a program where i can go visit a pretty good school early and talk to faculty and grad students and stuff !#and they only accept 20 people a year …#anyway applying to grad school and doing thesis research is hellish sometimes but wooo look at me go#talk tag
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I am so excited and concerned that I don't know how I'll sleep tonight!
#a sock speaks#grad school tag#I got accepted for a research fellowship!!! but it starts July 31 and I have a nonrefundable ticket for August 17#gonna try to see if I can do the first couple weeks remotely but some of it relies on studying physical objects so idk#I'm willing to change my plans but I'd have to put in my 2 week notice and book a new flight like. tomorrow.#I feel like I didn't get any summer yet this summer :/#but ahhhhhhh I'm so excited that I got accepted at all! imposter syndrome what imposter syndrome?
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i have 18 days to get my shit together and blogs up and running................ lets GAUR
#i got accepted into grad school so i was a bit busy losing my mind in good and bad ways#but i shall BE HERE
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i secured a teaching position for the summer so that means i won’t be homeless thankfully
#i was 2 seconds away from accepting the fact that i was going to be unemployed for the summer#and have to apply to external positions#the uncertainty of pay as a grad student is insane#and my uni’s grads are currently striking and the uni is handling it so poorly#like im glad i got the teaching job but im just so financially insecure how does anyone survive grad school
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They were not fucking joking when they said that living well is the best revenge
#got accepted into a masters program with a 3% acceptance rate#got my masters at 22#immediately after graduation I got my dream job in the same field I got my degree in#I’m in a very happy committed relationship with the most beautiful girl in the world and I live with her and I genuinely think#im going to marry her#she’s also in grad school and is so kind and smart and funny and we have so much fun whenever we’re around each other#we’re thinking about buying a house#cause my grown up job can let me do that#I have really great amazing friends and deep connections with so many of them#my relationship with my siblings and my parents is wonderful and fulfilling#I make enough money to live comfortably#I’m just so grateful to be in a secure spot in my life right now and to be happy with myself and genuinely grateful for what I have#I wish I could have told a younger version of me how good my life would be one day#I’m so grateful to have made it through the dark and hard times
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