#got a visit from Harley at one point

[terrestrialnoob]

Harley crawled into the apartment. It was organized, but it looked like the occupant didn't have a lot of time for cleaning. She walked softly through it, taking it in. There were photos of her target and what had to be her family, but no friends or romantic partners. Some had a pair of older adults, matching traits meant bio-parents. More of the photos were of the target and a younger boy - a little brother, the highest likelihood of becoming another target if things go bad.

Harley continued forward, following the light to where her target was. She stood in the doorway, looking in.

Dr. Jasmine Fenton, Arkham Asylum's newest psychologist, just got her degree and everything. She did what most newbies do, actually thinking she could get through to the Joker. Harley didn't want to say it was impossible, but everyone who tried ended up in a new job or dead. Harley would try and make sure it was the former and not the later.

Harley watched as the redhead read over a file as she ate from a takeout box. She didn't want to scare the girl, yet. The scaring her away from Joker came later. So, she had to wait for the perfect moment to-

"I know you're there." Jasmine didn't look up from her file, but held out the last box of Chinese food in Harley's direction. "There's plenty if you want some."

"Awe, you ruined the surprise." Harley walked out of the shadows of the hallway into the girl's home office. She snatched the offered box of food and took a few bites as she jumped to sit on the desk.

"I'm hard to sneak up on." Jasmine said, closing her file and finally looking at Harley. "So, Dr. Quinzel, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit this evening?"

"Oh, call me Harley!" She laughed, she wasn't called Dr. all that often any more. She tapped her chop sticks on the file Jasmine just closed. "I thought you'd like a consult on your new patient, Dr. Fenton. I've got a lot of experience with him."

"I prefer to go by Jazz." She said with a smile, "While I appreciate the offer, I'd like to see how far I can get on my own. And, sorry, but I'm pretty sure your license was revoked."

Harley nodded as she swallowed to get the noodles out of her mouth. "I get it! You're new, fresh outta school, gotta prove yourself. But Joker ain't the guy to do that with. He eats people like us for breakfast, and in all the years he's been in Arkham, no one's been able to get anywhere with him."

Jazz sighed, "I don't like to believe people are lost causes. There's always something we can do to help."

"You can't help everyone, especially when they don't want it. And it's not just a question if whether or not he can be saved or whatever." Harley set down the now empty box, Jazz pointed to another one that still had food in it, but Harley declined. "If you keep it up, he'll think you're worth his time to torment. There's no telling what he'll do when he inevitably gets himself out again."

"I'll be fine." Jazz said, but Harley had to cut her off before she said something stupid.

"It's not just you! You've got family out there he can target, your parents. Your Brother! Anyone you date will become a target! He'll do everything in his power to make your life miserable!"

Jazz chuckled. "If he wants to target my family, his funeral. My parents are - were supervillains. They've really only become less- well, hyper-focused on eradicating an entire race of being- in the past few years. And my brother - I'm pretty sure he's conditionally immortal. So that's nothing to worry about."

"If it's conditional, Joker will find a way around it." Harley said, but she had to admit, this might have been an unnecessary trip. "You sure y'ain't got nothing to worry about? What about you? How conditional is your mortality?"

Jazz smiled. Her mouth seemed too wide and with too many teeth. "Oh, I am nowhere near immortal. But..."

She stood up and the room was suddenly a black void. Toxic green eyes and mouths filled with glowing white teeth opened around them. "I doubt anyone could get close enough to test it."

The room was suddenly back to normal, but whatever that thing was was still there. Harley could see its eyes watching her with amusement from inside Jazz's oversized cardigan.

"Well, I guess this really was a wasted trip. You've clearly got it covered."

"Not entirely." Jazz said, her hand wend up to her neck to rub nervously, "Well, you see... I don't really have a lot of friends. People tend to get - uh, creeped out, you know? Or chased off by my parents or brother or whatever..."

"You wanna be friends?" Harley laughed so hard she almost fell over.

Jazz's face turned bright red and the shadow eyes looked way less amused. "Yeah, stupid question. You've clearly got your own things going on."

"No! No, no." Harley had to take several deep breaths before she could look Jazz in the face again. "I 100% wanna hang out with you!"

"Really?"

"Oh yeah." She took another deep breath, "I mean, I really should have made a support system before trying to take on the Joker back when I worked for Arkham. This" she pointed between them "can only end well."

Jazz's face turned brighter than the sun. "Oh my gosh! This is amazing! We should - I have Thursday's and weekends off - What - what kind of things should we-"

Oh man, Jazz was like an excited kid. She must have had a really lonely childhood... they can psychoanalyze each other later. "Come over for girl's night next week. I'll tell my gf and bff to expect an extra person... Does the-" she motioned to the cardigan creature "-go everywhere you go? Does it need food?"

"Oh, don't worry about Jet, they only eat who I tell them to."

Harley barked out more laughter. "You're going to fit right in!"

Now featuring a Part 2

[hauntedbythefanficsofmypast]

Past, Present and that of Space

Masterlist

Dead-ends and Surprise Visits

“Alrightie, Duke your classes don't start for an hour right, LightBrite?” Duke snorted, nodding as he got comfortable pulling his blanket tighter around his shoulders. “Good good, should be enough time, ehhhh maybe we'll see, anyway!!” 

Harley snagged a cookie munching on it before she began. “Sooo years ago before I was a doctor and your daddio a crime-fighting college drop-out vigilante, we went to Gotham Uni. Bruce had been studying to be a Doctor like your granddaddy, so all of us had the same base classes. We actually had a study group and we'll as a ‘Fuck Professor Tanner’ club.

We met in advanced Calculus, I sucked and Brucie was my seat buddy along with Vladdie. After a bad failed test on my part and Professor Tanner purposely marking the others down, we formed a spite study group. I dragged Crane into it and Vlad pulled Jackie and Mads in! It kinda cemented our friendships a bit!” Harley snorted, shaking her head while reminiscing on the old days.

“Jackie, Mads, and Vladdie we're going for Doctorates in Science and Engineering. Jackie was more towards Engineering that was his crazy strong point while Mads and Vladdie were genius to boot. Would've fit in very well with your bunch now that I think ‘bout it! It grew a pretty decent friend group between us. Of course Brucie dropped out after that year, but Crane and I stayed pretty close with them. It was our final year when a lot of drama happened.” Harley sighed before grabbing her Tea cup downing it.

“The three of them were convinced that another universe lay parallel to ours. Called it the Ghost Zone, they'd been attempting to make a portal to it for months. Then the accident happened, it exploded and Vlad got carted off campus, didn’t see him again after that. He transferred out and last we heard he went to Wisconsin. Jackie and Mads were heartbroken, they’d been friends for a while at that point and losing Vlad made them a little unstable. Not ya know, rouge unstable but they started designing weapons to hunt ghosts. Caught some attention shortly before graduation and got a couple grants, they were really ecstatic. They left soon after we graduated, Jackie proposed and Mads said yes, went back to Mads hometown for the wedding. I got invited but at that point I was already at Arkham and well, you know my story already.” 

Tim stopped his note taking, looking up at Harley, who seemed slightly trapped in thought. He coughed slightly, breaking her out of her remembrance of who Harleen Quinzel used to be. 

“Ghost Zone? Huh? Weird niche of all things but ya know, we dress up and go fight crime nightly.” Duke elbowed him teasingly as he ate a cookie, and Tim rolled his eyes. “Right, right I forgot one of us is  a weirdo and patrols during the day time!”

“Oi! At least I don’t have an ugly ass cowl, owl head ass.” Tim gave him the dirtiest look, already calculating how far Duke dropped on his favorite sibling list.

“Congrats Duke, Damian has officially passed you on my favorite siblings list. It’s a sad day when two siblings drop below the one that has stabbed me multiple times.” Duke went to respond but was cut off by Harley’s barking laughter. Harley was bent over holding her stomach laughing so hard Duke contemplated running to get a cure for Joker Venom, but seeing the satisfied look on Tim’s face calmed him. Tim’s plan to distract her clearly worked, besides he had enough to work on now.

Of course Danny had contact with the Realms, his parents succeed in making their portal after all. 

Alfred hummed lowly to himself as he entered his bedroom for a short break. He set the tea tray down before pulling out both his chairs and sitting down.

“You were cutting it close you know, old friend.” He sipped his tea slowly before looking up at the person now sitting in the chair across from him. “You’ve set my charges into a protective mode that will lead to less sleep. Honestly the extra stress you’ve added to my plate with this stunt.”

“Apologies are in order for that, you know I should not interfere too often. Their eyes weren’t on me for only a few seconds, talking with Young Timothy was not possible.” His form shifted and Alfred hummed taking in the appearance of the elderly man in front of him.

“Your form has changed. I see you added to your family circle, congratulations.” Clockwork chuckled knowing he had taken some aspects from the kids he had practically adopted when they were fourteen.

“Indeed, not as many as your brood, but I am content. They have fine futures, fine futures indeed.”

“I see, and their futures are now intertwined with my charges.”

“Yes they are, we will be seeing more of each other in the future. Young Timothy will get along very well with my Phantom. They will be a force to be reckoned with.”

“Dear Clockwork, I believe they are on their own, together they could rule the multiverse.” Clockwork and Alfred were silent for a while, simply enjoying tea together. However he was the first to break their silence with a chuckle.

“I believe you are quite right Alfred. Quite right indeed.”

Dani typed silently on her phone as she sprawled across Danny’s back. The other Halfa too busy editing a video to pay attention to her. The others in their family were in varying places of Fenton Works but the two self-proclaimed siblings had holed up in Danny’s room. At first they simply sat staring at the ceiling, or rather staring into space, literally. After discovering Danny was the new Ancient of Space came even more power training that had Danny wish to rip his hair out.

Danny had discovered the ability to make a rift that could remain open until he willed it away, it was unlike portals that he needed to concentrate on to keep open. No those portals were Dani’s expertise, able to portal them to any place and even universes. Danny’s rifts allowed him direct access to space, and since discovering it his ceiling had been a constant show of the different galaxies that graced their universe. So often the others would come to call them for dinner and find the two’s eyes locked on their stars.

Val often joked that Dani’s love for space came from her template. Of course Dani wasn’t as crazy about space as Danny was but she still loved it. Dani paused her typing looking up at the ceiling for a moment before grinning.

“Danny, I have a great idea. Our next video should be in space.” Danny stopped editing mind racing between different ideas before his core was vibrating so hard in excitement that he was purring. Dani’s mirth couldn’t be contained as her body took flight lifting off him and towards the rift. “We could do so much!”

“Visiting other planets!”

“Space fights!”

“A day in the life with off-world species!”

“Jumping universes! People will lose their minds if we go to the ‘Futurama’ universe!”

“Oh my crown Dani! The possibilities are endless!!” Danny laughed as he took flight playfully taking the girl out of the air, both phasing through his bedroom floor and bouncing off the couch as they began a mini fight. Wes watched them amused as he paused his show, thankful he was sitting fully to the left of the couch and not in the middle. “Black holes! We can explore black holes!!” Danny announced laughing as he got Dani into a headlock only for her to phase out and land a hard elbow to his gut.

“Yes! Oooooh I want to kick you into a black hole so bad!!” We can cut the video there and the next one can be you in the Futurama Universe trying to find your way back!!” The two cackled together as their fighting amped up. 

“That is a pretty good idea.” Wes hummed, blinking as mischievous eyes locked on him. “Don’t even think about it you two.” He warned as they started grinning, he threw himself to the side flipping over the arm of the couch as they lunged at him phasing through and landing on the other side in a crouch. “Damnit!” Wes yelled as he scrambled up taking off up the stairs. The two grin as they jumped flying up through the floor to the hallway waiting to ambush him, only to be surprised when the front door slammed shut.

“Did he just?” Dani asked as she stuck her head through the wall Danny followed a second later as they watched Wes booking it down the street.

“He just juked us. Oh we gotta get him now!” The two flew through the wall, not even transforming as they rushed after him, waving to a few people who called out to them. Jack and Maddie watched them go from where they were unloading groceries from the Fenton Ghost Assault vehicle.

“Oh I hope they have fun hunting Wes!” Jack said with a laugh as Maddie slid a fifth bag onto his right arm. “Ah these kids keep up young Mads!” Maddie laughed leaning up and kissing his cheek as she grabbed the last four bags and locked the assault vehicle.

“Those kids of ours they really do, and they’re all growing up and breaking my heart! I wish we could have more.” Maddie said with a small laugh as Jack wiggled his eyebrows at her, Tucker opened the door for them as they approached and Maddie kissed his forehead in thanks as they walked to the kitchen. “Thank you Tucker dear. Are Sam and Val here?” Tucker nodded following them after he took some bags from Jack.

“Yes, they’re in the kitchen waiting to help with groceries. I was gonna let the other three know but Danny and Dani were having one of their bonding fights, then Wes got dragged into it.” Jack laughed as he put the last bags on the counter.

“We saw that! If it wasn’t for the groceries I had I would’ve ran after to join them! It's that Fenton blood after all!” Maddie chuckled, sharing a look with Sam before she moved over to the fridge starting to clean it out.

“And the fact that ghosts literally bond through fighting, it's like another language to them.” Val said with a chuckle as she unpacked some bags. “How about spaghetti tonight?” Moving aside the needed ingredients as agreements rang out from the room. “Sweet, is it alright if I invite my dad? He makes some mean garlic bread.”

“Of course Val! You’re our kid now and that makes him a Fenton too! The more the merrier!” Jack said moving over to pull out the needed cooking utensils. Sam was quick to take them from him, shooing him away while waving a spatula.

“I’ll invite my grandma over too. She made cookies yesterday and wanted more people to try her new recipe. I’ll make dinner with Tucker, you two aren’t allowed to make food anymore after those hot dogs took over the town.” Jack held his hands up defensively with a laugh as Maddie didn’t make eye contact with anyone.

“In my defense we didn’t know they were hot dogs from the Infinite Realms!”

“We came back to them trying to sacrifice Lancer, Dash and Kwan to their god.” Val said deadpan remembering the return home from their senior trip. “I smelled like hot dog water for weeks. I couldn’t look people in the eye anytime they questioned the smell.” Maddie couldn’t hold back her snort as she continued to not look at them. He shoulders shaking as she remembered the look on their kids faces the moment they stepped through the portal in front of City Hall. Laughter finally burst from her lips as she shook her head sitting on the floor in front of the fridge.

“Your faces that day!! You all, you all looked so done!” Soon everyone joined in laughing with Maddie as they remembered that day and the fight that followed.

“What's so funny?” Danny asked from the doorway Dani standing next to him with a slightly bruised and pouting Wes slung over her shoulder. Everyone turned to them laughter pausing for a second before they just laughed harder remembering when the biggest hot dog attempted to eat Danny.

Universe Hopping and Reunion Trip Planning

[libraryofgage]

Harlequin Prince

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One Harley Quinn One (you're here!) 10th Doctor and Rose (on the way! might take a little, I have plans for this one) Scooby Gang (there are also plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz)

I'm a simple woman who believes Steve deserves to be a little unhinged sometimes, and having Harley Quinn as a mother is the perfect excuse to make that happen lol

Anyway, I know I haven't updated some of my other series in a hot minute; I've just been busy with work and a little sick ngl

If you'd like to be tagged for any new parts in this series, let me know!

And, as always, if you see any typos, no you didn't ;)

-------

Steve's earliest memory is of being tucked into bed with a Batman night light plugged into the wall and his mother squeezed in next to him. She's wearing her softest pajamas, and Steve idly rubs the fabric under his thumb. In her lap is a huge book that she flips through, humming "Pop Goes the Weasel" under her breath before finally stopping on a page. "Okay, Dumplin', let's read about Narcissistic Personality Disorder," she finally says, wiggling some to get comfortable before clearing her throat.

Her voice is soft and a little nasally, and Steve obediently closes his eyes when she starts reading. After a few minutes, she gently cards her fingers through his hair, her palm warm as it slides over his scalp. Eventually, he drifts off, his dream so vivid that he still remembers the oversized hammers with their white doctor coats and floating clipboards.

The first time Steve's mother is sent (back) to Arkham, he doesn't realize anything is wrong until Uncle Bruce picks him up from school. Steve had been waiting long after the other kids were picked up by their parents, a misshapen pink-and-blue coaster for his mother that he made in art class in his hands, when one of Uncle Bruce's fancy cars pulled up to the school.

The passenger window rolled down, and Bruce looked almost pained as he met Steve's eyes. "Hop in," he said, leaning over to open the door from the inside.

Steve walked up to the door but didn't get in. "Mom said I should only go home with her," he said, "unless you know our secret code."

"Cognitive Behavioral Therapy."

Steve stood for a moment longer before nodding and climbing into the passenger seat. He closed the door, pulled on his seat belt, and carefully held the coaster in his lap. "Where's Mom?" he asked, watching as Bruce turned down the radio and slowly pulled away from the school.

"Your mother is....going to be away for a while," Bruce said, gripping the steering wheel tighter. "She did something bad, and now she's going to stay in time out because of it."

"Mom says you shouldn't dumb things down just because I'm young. She says it's not good for my development."

Bruce got a slight smile at that, his lips twitching up as he glanced at Steve. "Is that so," he said, his grip on the wheel loosening some. He seemed to think for a moment before saying, "Your mother blew up a warehouse. She was apprehended by Batman and has been sent to Arkham for a few months. Since I'm listed as your godfather, you'll stay with me until she's released."

Steve didn't reply. He just looked down at his coaster and wondered if he'd be able to convince his Uncle Bruce to visit Arkham so he could give it to her.

He did not, in fact, get to visit her at Arkham during that stint. But Steve did get to visit on her next one, which was almost three years later to the day. Steve's first visit to Arkham was on his 8th birthday, and he was chaperoned by Uncle Bruce and Nightwing (he wasn't allowed to call Dick by his real name when he was in costume, so Steve just didn't call him anything at all).

That was also the first time Steve truly experienced Arkham's lax security. Through no fault of his own (and he would continue to argue this point; how did two superheroes let an 8 year old wander off?), Steve had somehow ended up in another part of Arkham altogether.

This hallway had large cells with reinforced glass walls that allowed Steve to look inside. He could name most of the people he passed, recognizing Killer Croc and Riddler and the Penguin by his mother's descriptions of their defining features. Most of them tried talking to Steve, but he pushed ahead, eager to see if his mother was at the end of the hall.

She wasn't. Instead, Steve found another woman. She had green skin and bright red hair and Steve hadn't been able to contain himself. He'd practically squished his face against the glass and asked, "Are you Poison Ivy?"

"Oh, her he talks to," the Penguin said, his tone mean and his voice carrying.

Poison Ivy ignored him, choosing to instead open one eye from where she lay on the bed. She stared at Steve before sitting up. "Do I know you?" she asked.

"Nope! But my mom knows you. She talks about you all the time. She said you're the baddest badass to ever badass," Steve said.

"Oh. You're Harley's kid," Poison Ivy replied, walking over to the glass and crouching down to meet his gaze. "What are you doing all the way over here?"

"It's my birthday, so Uncle Bruce said I could see Mom."

"Well, happy birthday. Now, what are you doing here?"

Steve blinked, looked around the hall again, and realized for the first time that he was, in fact, a bit lost. "Uh, I'm not sure. I was with Uncle Bruce before."

A moment passed between the two of them in which Poison Ivy said nothing while Steve tried to remember how, exactly, he'd ended up here. When he came up blank, he simply shrugged and looked back at her. "Hey, you like plants, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, kid, I like plants," she said, her tone taking on the same inflection his mother's did when he asked something she thinks is obvious.

Steve didn't linger on the tone. Instead, he dug around in his coat pocket for a few seconds, pushing past candy wrappers and erasers until his hand closed around an acorn he'd picked up off the ground a few days ago. He pulled it out and presented it to Poison Ivy on his palm. "Is it still a plant if it fell off the tree?" he asked.

"Yeah," Poison Ivy said, her voice soft like she was staring at something unbelievable. Steve watched as a huge grin spread across her face, her eyes lit up, and she pressed her hands to the glass. "Can you do me a favor, Steve?" she asked.

"Sure! Mom said you're a person I should listen to," he said, starting to close his fingers around the acorn. Now that he was thinking about it, he didn't actually know how to give the acorn to her with the glass between them.

"Your mom is right. You should always listen to me. And her. But mostly me right now," Poison Ivy said, her gaze a bit softer as she looked at Steve. "So, go ahead and put the acorn on the ground and stand as far away as possible."

Steve didn't question her. Whatever Poison Ivy wanted to do would probably be fine. After all, Uncle Bruce didn't warn him about talking to her like he had about the Joker. So, Steve put the acorn down and hurried to the other end of the hall. "Now what?" he shouted.

The only response he got was the acorn shuddering, spinning across the floor, and then bursting open. In the blink of an eye, a tree grew, its roots breaking through the ground and its branches shattering the glass of Poison Ivy's cell. Steve was just thinking that was probably why Poison Ivy told him to stand back when she walked out, rolling her shoulders and breathing like the air is fresh.

She looked at Steve and walked over, standing in front of him for a moment before sweeping him into her arms. "Thanks, kid," she said, opening her hand and letting a tiny purple flower grow from her palm. She tucked it behind Steve's ear. "Now, let's go find your mom."

Of course, Poison Ivy's escape had set off numerous alarms, and Uncle Bruce just about fainted when he saw her carrying Steve while Nightwing looked two seconds from laughing. But Steve's mom had smiled so wide that her cheeks must have hurt after only two seconds when she saw them.

It was, by far, the best birthday Steve had ever had.

‐-----------------------------

Hawkins, Indiana, is...boring. Steve has only been in the town for a few weeks, and he's bored out of his mind. He could have been sent to Metropolis or Central City. Hell, he would have preferred Bludhaven to the absolute snoozefest that is Hawkins. But, no, Uncle Bruce insisted on somewhere safe, which means somewhere boring, which means...Steve will just have to make his own fun.

That's why he's found himself in a dive bar on the edge of town, sitting at the bar as the owner (a woman named Bev who definitely killed her husband; Steve would know, he's met plenty of women who definitely killed their husbands) refuses to give him anything alcoholic. "Listen, kid," she says, her tone hard and unyielding, "I can give you water, a Shirley Temple, or a permanent ban. Which do you prefer."

After a few seconds, Steve sighs, slaps way more money than is necessary on the bar, and says, "Gimme a Shirley Temple."

Bev nods, swipes up the cash, and starts making his drink. He watches her with a slight frown before looking away, noticing another boy his age wiping down a table. He looks, and Steve cannot say this affectionately enough, like a wannabe goon for a motorcycle gang. Between the bandana stuffed into his back pocket, his slightly frizzy hair falling to his shoulders, and the leather jacket/vest combo, the guy is the first reminder of home Steve has seen since arriving in this sleepy town.

When he notices the guy's shoulders tense, Steve looks away to keep from being caught staring. A Shirley Temple is placed in front of him, and Steve represses a sigh, missing the sounds of fights happening behind him as he drinks with Jason.

"Aren't you a little young to be hanging around here?"

Steve slowly takes a sip of his drink, the saccharine cherry flavor washing over his tastebuds, and glances at an older man a few seats down from him. He looks the man over, lingering on the half-tucked shirt, muddy loafers, and circles under his eyes. Without permission, his mother's DSM-V rushes through his mind, a blur of his mother's voice accompanying the page flips. They finally settle on "Adjustment Disorder," accompanied by his mom saying, "Sometimes, that's just a fancy term for a mid-life crisis, Dumplin'."

Without thinking, Steve asks in return, "Aren't you a little old to still be going through a mid-life crisis?"

In Gotham, that might get him a laugh, an eye roll, and possibly an elbow to the ribs from whichever friend accompanied him. Here, it gets him a tense silence that he only thought happened in bad movies gearing up for a fight sequence. Seriously, what is wrong with Hawkins?

"I'll give you one chance to apologize," the guy says, clearly thinking he's being sufficiently threatening.

It takes every ounce of Steve's self-control to keep from laughing at the guy. Does that usually work? Do people usually find this guy threatening? He's got nothing on Alfred, so Steve just can't bring himself to even fake intimidation.

"Yeah, don't hold your breath, man," Steve says, rolling his eyes as he takes another sip. The Shirley Temple isn't bad, but it's not what he was expecting, and it feels like just another disappointment atop a pile of them.

They're building in his chest, now that he thinks about it. Steve is slowly suffocating under the weight of them. They buzz in his lungs, surging through him until the energy is so overwhelming that he has to bounce his leg and tap his finger against his glass to expel some of it. He shouldn't have agreed to leave Gotham, or at the very least, he shouldn't have left the location entirely up to Bruce. Holy shit, that was a dumb decision. He ought to know better.

A sudden, annoyingly harsh drag of chair legs against the floor rings in Steve's ears, making his shoulders tense and his fingers twitch. He looks over to see the guy standing over him, glaring down at Steve like that's supposed to scare him when nothing else has.

Steve sighs, drinking the last of his Shirley Temple before standing. Over the guy's shoulder, he can see the boy his age watching them, and...well, Steve kind of wants to make a good impression on the first person to remind him of home. Plus, a fight sounds great. He'd love a chance to expel some of this disappointment-fueled energy.

The guy suddenly snorts, pulling Steve's attention back. "You're young, kid, so I'll let you off the hook this time around, but learn some respect."

What? Seriously? All of that, and the guy doesn't even start a fight? Does he know how rude that is? He'd get killed in Gotham. "Oh," Steve says, his voice flat, "you're scared of getting your ass kicked."

Somehow, that's what the guy considers the final straw. It wasn't even that good. Like, that's just fucking small talk in Gotham, and Steve can't bring himself to understand what about it was so infuriating that the guy swings his fist.

Either way, Steve happily embraces the fight. His eyes light up, and adrenaline rushes through his veins as he ducks and kicks the guy's left knee. The familiar sound of a bone snapping rings out. Steve's ready for more, hands curled into fists and held up to protect his face, when the guy drops.

After one kick, he drops. Steve blinks, staring down at the guy cursing and holding his knee. He slowly lowers his hands when he realizes this isn't some kind of fake-out diversion and looks at Bev behind the counter. She's frowning at him, hands on her hips, and Steve comes to the conclusion that bar fights are not, in fact, a thing in Hawkins. "Do they usually go down so easy around here?" he asks.

"They usually don't fight at all."

Oh. Holy shit, this place is boring.

Steve sighs and pushes some hair out of his face, frowning slightly. "Well, uh, sorry about the disturbance, then. I'll just...get going," he says, awkwardly pushing his chair in and doing the same for the guy whose kneecap he kicked. Nobody says anything as he leaves, and Steve shoves his hands into his jacket pockets, frustration and disappointment and homesickness building in him.

He's halfway to his car when somebody shouts, "Hey! Wait!"

With a huff, Steve stops and turns, his mood only lightening when he sees the boy that was wiping down tables. He waits patiently, watching as the boy runs up to him and holds out a wad of cash. "Bev said to give this to you," he says.

"What, is my money not good enough?" Steve asks, raising an eyebrow at the cash before looking up and meeting brown eyes.

"No, no," the boy says, "Bev only gives change to people she likes. She said you're welcome to come by and kick Phillip's ass whenever you want."

Steve blinks, studying the boy for any signs of lies. When he doesn't find one, he takes the cash and nods. "Good to know," he says.

"Yeah. Right. Um, I'm going back inside now."

"Hold on," Steve says, grinning when the boy listens and stands still. He takes a step closer, holds out his hand, and says, "My name's Steve. I'm new around here, if you couldn't tell."

The boy stares at his hand for a few seconds before taking it, the rings on his fingers pressing against Steve's skin. "Eddie. I could tell," he says, his shoulders relaxing some. "Where you from?"

"Gotham."

"Holy shit, no wonder you looked so ready for a fight," Eddie says, staring at Steve like he's incomprehensible. Steve tries not to preen under his gaze. "Hawkins must be dead compared to Gotham."

"Yeah," Steve agrees, glancing down at his and Eddie's hands still clasped together despite the handshake being over. "But I think I'll have some fun anyway."

[theglamorousferal]

Tony keeps in touch with Harley post IM3.

Tony hacks into Harley's school to see what his grades are and it not clocking that he could literally just ask about it.

Tony keeping up with the Keener’s via twice monthly phone calls that turn into weekly ones that turn into Tony and Mrs. Keener texting back and forth.

Tony invites the kid to visit during a school break where they both just tinker with things. Harley is nervous at first until they meet up again and they start snarking back and forth.

At least one minor fire or explosion happens. If asked, neither know what started it. (Tony was wiring a gauntlet and Harley jokingly called him Dad when Tony told him he had to do his homework.)

The Keener’s visit for a week in the summertime, Tony has bought the lake house earlier to have a place away from people. Mrs. Keener and Pepper get along pretty well and both the kids like Pepper, so Tony counts it as a win.

Tony offers to pay for Harley and his sister's education and Mrs. Keener took him up on it because there was no way she’d be able to afford to send both her kids to college unless one of them got a free ride and Tony shows he cares by spending money and making sure those he cares about are safe and comfortable.

Harley spends the summer before his freshman year of high school with Tony. Tony finds a used classic car and they spend the summer rebuilding it and upgrading the engine to run clean.

Tony finds Spider-Man and finds out he’s a year older than Harley. Tony panics because here’s another kid genius but this one's in way over his head and will stay in over his head regardless of if he has support or proper equipment. Tony decides that no one else is gonna help this kid and give him as much protection as he could if he built him a suit, so he does just that.

Tony finds out about Midtown through Peter and approaches Mrs. Keener with an opportunity for Harley. (It's a genius school and it's practically a feeder to MIT, it'll be great.) Harley moves into the tower that Tony has kept here because he has reason to stay in the city.

Tony is a lot better at dealing with a kid because he's been hanging out with Harley so long, so he invites Peter over to meet Harley and have lab time. 

Harley just quips “so you’re my replacement?” to Peter and Peter immediately panicking and stuttering over himself while Harley howls with laughter.

Harley helps Peter learn to be more comfortable around Tony by roasting Tony for twenty straight minutes and after a month of lab days enlists Peter's help in making a program for FRIDAY to blast Barbie Girl when Tony has spent 24 hours or more in the lab.

Peter asks Harley to hang out with Ned outside of lab days. The three of them end up building a LEGO Deathstar and have drawn up the plans to be able to make it hover the next lab day.

Peter and Harley become thick as thieves and get to the point of that weird twin telepathy especially when it comes to being sassy.

One school break the three of them didn't go outside for the first four days, just spending most of the time in the lab so Pepper comes in and orders them to go outside for once my god Tony. Take them to your favorite burger place, I don't care, just be outside.

This leads to the three of them getting Pap'd. ("Yeah, I was out to lunch with my two interns, what's the matter with that?" is the quote above a picture of him laughing as the two boys pretend their straw wrappers are mustaches.)

This leads Tony to realize that he hadn't actually gotten the boys registered as his interns and remedies this immediately. (with backpay into a trust for each of them(Harley already gets an allowance, Tony has no idea how much is the proper amount to give to a 14 year old, and so usually gives him a few of whatever bills are in his wallet.))

Tony decides that now that they're officially employees of SI, that means they get to check out the place and so brings them down to R&D where everybody is immediately charmed by Peter and amused by Harley. The boys end up talking to the interns on the floor while Tony discusses the latest StarkPad.

One lab day both Harley and Peter look exhausted but Peter still showed up for lab time so they make their way there. Tony takes one look at them and asks FRIDAY to scan them, they both have fevers and he herds them into his living room.

Tony orders all the cold remedies he can think of to be brought up to the penthouse. Tony instructs the boys to pick a movie while he gathers blankets and dumps them on the boys.

Tony frantically texting Harley's mom and May asking them what he should do I've never taken care of a sick kid before, there are two of them, what do I do??

May asks Tony if Peter can stay the night because she's working a double that she can't get out of. He says yes if she can tell him what to do for sick kids because Harley's mom hasn't been able to respond.

Tony ends up joining the boys on the couch after forcing each of them to take cold medicine and thrusting a bowl of chicken noodle soup into each of their hands. Tony's in between the boys.

Over the course of WALL-E each boy begins to sag eventually trapping Tony on the couch. He's got one drooling in his shoulder and another drooling on his thigh. He asks FRIDAY to take several pictures before going back to his work on his StarkPad.

This starts Peter staying over whenever May is working night shifts. Then staying over every other weekend. Then Tony invites May and Peter to go on vacation to the lake house for a few days in the summer.

The Keener family is also present and May, Pepper and Mrs. Keener get on like a house on fire. Peter loves playing with Abbie with Harley. Three group chats are made that day. The adults in a co-parenting chat, the ladies in an exasperated with our geniuses chat and the kids in a sass and meme chat.

Just, Tony becomes a dad to two brilliant boys (and maybe one of the boy's baby sisters too depending how you want to write her).

[deathbyathousandspiders]

“ cuddle–bugs. „

(( REQUEST PART THREE ))

mcu!peter parker x reader.

!!! read part one | part two | part four | part five here !!!

IN WHICH — you fell asleep on your best friend during movie night and the avengers won’t let you live it down. meanwhile, peter plans to ask you out, but an old friend of yours gets in the way :0

✨masterlist.✨

3.2k.

It felt good for you to finally get some sleep. It seemed like sleeping cuddled next to Peter was the perfect remedy for your sudden insomnia. You wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Waking up in his arms, his biceps snug around you; his quiet snores that still sang through your thoughts. Their melody, and the leftover fumes of his cologne, kept you in a peppy mood. That, and Harley’s holiday visit.

You hadn’t seen Harley in what felt like a year, despite how it had only been a few months. Still, as much as seeing your friend got you excited, the whole Peter–debacle kept you in a tizzy.

Tony had asked you to help circuit a drone prototype in his lab, which gave you a great opportunity to dwell on the fact that Peter definitely saw the framed photo Sam took of the two of you. And read the sticky note. The thought still made your heart rate spike a little, but you couldn’t decipher what it was stemming from.

Part of this made you feel giddy. It gave you a chance to open the bottled up feelings you’ve been rejecting for Peter, and really, truly, encourage them. The other part, however, made you incredibly nervous. Anxious, even. He could react in a way that would completely redefine the long–term friendship that you two had.

His response could either be something equally as smitten, or something that’d haunt you for the rest of your life. It was conflicting, but also you knew that at a certain point, you wouldn’t be able to hide from your feelings anymore. Peter would inevitably find out. You just hoped that it wouldn’t ruin the way he looked at you.

While re–wiring the drone’s hardware, you began to spiral down the dark abyss of how badly this could end. He wouldn’t necessarily get angry with you. Peter Parker didn’t have an angered bone in his body; but this could very well, quite possibly, most definitely, create an incredibly uncomfortable atmosphere in your dynamic.

Fuck.

You wished he’d react the same way he did when you both found out you were superheroes, or when you’d both been recruited to be part of the Avengers. Peter had been your best friend for as long as you could remember. Would these feelings really change that much of it?

“There you are!” Peter’s voice from the doorframe disrupted your thoughts. You immediately felt the way your heart leapt in your chest.

You did hope that things wouldn’t change because of a dumb crush. However, you’d be lying if you said it didn’t feel like things with the two of you were changing already.

Quickly, you glanced over your shoulder, careful not to distract your work. The way Peter walked over to you seemed radiant; he was glowing, and it wasn’t just because he looked fresh out of the shower. He smiled at you, toothy and spritely. The way it suited his energy was contagious, and spread a small grin right to your lips. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He added, prancing up beside you.

Your focus went back to the drone, mostly because you wanted to hide from the inevitable blush that coated your complexion. “Oh yeah?” You mused, cheeky. “How come?”

Peter leaned his back against the desk you were working at. He kept a comfortable distance from you, but a bit less than usual. You only noticed because his body heat nearly overloaded your system. You cleared the invisible tickle from your throat, feeling the urge to try and hide what felt like vulnerability.

“I wanted to show you my new lockscreen.” His tone outlined his smile audibly. Peter excitedly showed you the addition to his phone, as though he’d been rehearsing it. You felt the way your eyes widened and your face flush at the photo. The same photo that was framed at your bedside. “Sam sent it to me.” He added the detail once you saw it.

Your eyes met. You could feel the playful demeanor that Peter had been camouflaging. He knew exactly what he was doing, and by the dorky expression on his face, you knew that your reaction was exactly what he’d been hoping for.

Dropping the hardware tools beside the drone, you used slow movements. You needed to get his phone. The power he had with that photo was too much for him, and it was already getting to his head. Your hand plunged towards the device, but Peter dodged your reach like he was one step ahead of you. He was always one step ahead of you.

“Peter Benjamin Parker.” You fought back your smile by trying to use a disciplinary tone, but your laughter won the battle. He took paces backwards, and you followed his movement. “Give me your cell phone!”

He laughed, raising a brow. “You want my phone?” He was playing coy, teasingly. “You’re just jealous of my lockscreen.” You two traveled around the large laboratory, him still walking backwards like it was nothing. “I could just AirDrop it to you, if you want it so bad–”

Leaping forward, he dodged you again. He was having too much fun with this, waving his phone in front of your face like a chew toy. “You’re so evil.” Your playful glare was one of Peter’s favorite looks of yours. He took it in like he was taking a picture of it.

His brow arched again, mocking you. “Am I really?” He bantered. You had to admit: as stubborn as you could be, Peter’s playful spirit was something you always enjoyed. And the banter was absolutely riveting to partake in.

Peter’s laughter filled the room as you started to chase him. He was skilled walking backwards, but running was an entirely different story. The two of you practically chased your tails around each other; Peter holding his phone high above you, and you eagerly sprinting and jumping up to try and grasp it.

In the thick of the moment, you’d finally caught up to him. Body to body. Chest to chest. His arm was still extended to the ceiling, phone held to the sky, but his focus was completely captured by you. Your eye contact was thick, and your little fits of giggles halted to a stop at the rousing tension.

Damp strands of curls fell in front of his face as he studied you, eyes tracing features of your face that he’d already memorized. The scent of his shower would’ve sent your head in a pother, if not for the feeling of your bodies melding together. You could feel his heart racing through the mere fabrics of your shirts; you were certain he felt the speedy rhythm of yours, too.

His arm slowly lowered back to his side, but you both could care less about his lockscreen right now. You kept your eyes tied to his, keeping up with the silent conversation you were having. Peter’s mouth opened, dry as he scrambled to find his words. “Y/N..” His voice was soft, gentle. “I need to ask you something.”

Curious and confused, you tilted your head a little. “Ask me what–?”

“Y/N!” You heard your name called from the doorframe. Both you and Peter shifted your focus to meet the interruption, finding Harley waiting impatiently. “C’mon! I’ve got something to show you.” How inconvenient.

A look of apology shadowed your face when you looked back up at Peter. “Can you ask me later?” It was the last thing you wanted to ask, but you couldn’t keep Harley waiting; the subtle tapping of his foot caused guilt to nag at your focus.

Both you and Peter peeled away from each other, slowly. It felt unnatural, especially considering that neither of you had the strength to break eye contact.

Peter forced a smile, though you could tell there was disappointment behind it. “Yeah! Yeah. Go.” He waved at Harley, noticing the small glare that accompanied the mirrored action back. “I’ll catch you later.”

He watched you smile at him before running off with Harley. That was how things had been since he’d returned from school.

Harley was always the first to bid for your attention, or drag you out of a room when you and Peter found yourselves alone in it. He was the ultimate cockblock, and a jealous one at that.

Peter had enough trust in you and your friendship to know that there was no competition for his spot as your best friend. However, now his hat was in the ring for a new title: your boyfriend.

Harley could one–up him there.

Peter still had hope after his talk with Sam in the kitchen yesterday morning. He finally felt the courage he needed to ask you out. To ask if you felt the same way. But Harley didn’t make his conquest any easier. In fact, he’d done nothing but get in his way. It was almost like Harley knew what Peter was trying to do.

Last night was Sam’s pick for team movie night. Of course, Sam chose a festive rom–com; he chose The Holiday, and sent Peter a little wink as he cued up the movie. This was an opportunity, and Peter wasn’t going to take it for granted. However, Harley wasn’t going to let Peter have it that easy, either.

As Peter sat beside you, Harley sat on the other side of you, arm draped over the back of the couch. Right where Peter wanted his to be. He noticed how stiff you were, and the way you awkwardly kicked your feet as the movie played.

The memory played through Peter’s head all day, especially while this question burned in his throat. He’d never been so eager to ask you something; so compelled to know the response you’d give him.

Part of him was scared. Just a small part of him. He knew it was a gamble to try and enhance your relationship. You’d either reciprocate the emotions he had for you, or the friendship would go through a little awkward fit. Either way, Peter knew it was a growing experience. He was willing to risk it if it meant getting to spend time with you romantically.

Harley just seemed to anticipate every chance you and Peter caught a moment alone.

Peter wasn’t planning to give up just yet.

And neither were you.

You did enjoy your time with Harley, but it felt like he was pushing it a little. Occasionally, you had the habit of cluelessness, but even now, the inkling that Harley was getting at something felt stronger than ever.

“C’mon, Keener.” You pressed him, trying to get the boy to crack. “It’s like you’re holding me hostage here.” For the past hour, you’d been trying to leave to go find Peter. Your hands went up in defense when Harley shot a look of surprise at you. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve missed you too, but I’ve–”

That’s when it hit you. Harley was getting at something. Something big. The look he shot at you was overwhelming. You couldn’t quite grasp what he was trying to express to you, but you could tell that he was about to tell you.

He took a breath, slicing through the deafening quiet. “Y/N, I need to ask you something.” His tone was stern, precise. He’d been practicing this, you were sure of it.

Your posture straightened out. From how it sounded, this seemed really serious. Your whole demeanor shifted, stilled. “Yeah, anything.” The last thing you wanted was for Harley to feel like he couldn’t tell you something.

Harley stared into your eyes, grounding you for a moment. You could feel just how much you were anticipating the question, and just how slowly the world spun before he spat out the words. It reminded you of how Peter had something to ask you, too. You wondered just how serious of a question Peter’s was–

“Would you go out with me? Li–like on a date?”

You froze. A date? A date with Harley?

It felt wrong for your thoughts to be consumed by anybody else in this moment, yet they were. Shoulders slumping, you gave him a sympathetic smile. “Harley, I’m flattered, but I—”

He interrupted you. “You have feelings for someone else?” His question came out like a scoff, almost like he was trying to beat you at answering him. “Parker, right?”

And in that moment, when your heart swelled and your cheeks flushed, you finally accepted it. Your posture settled a little, and the breath you’d been holding for the past few days finally released itself. “Yeah.. Yeah, I do.” Your lips curved sympathetically, not wanting to put salt in Harley’s wound. “Y’know, I still appreciate you though, right?”

Harley smiled at you, “Yeah, yeah, whatever..” He laughed quietly. “Now, go find your love–bug boyfriend. I’m sure he’s dying to see you.”

With a grin on your face, and a bittersweet farewell to Harley, you went on your way to find Peter. You knew that rejecting Harley shouldn’t have been as inspiring to you as it ended up being. Now more that ever, you felt determined to ask Peter out. Whether he was planning to ask you or you ask him, you weren’t going to give up until you had a date set on the calendar.

Turning the hallway corner, you found yourself rounding to the kitchen, following the faint sound of Peter’s voice. Waltzing with his words was the sound of Sam’s too, conversing with your best friend. You paused in your tracks, listening in on their conversation til you had a good time to intervene.

Tiny klanks and clinks of spoon on mug came from further away, muffled under Sam as he spoke, “You going to the holiday party tomorrow night?” He asked, “I heard there’s gonna be mistletoe.” You could hear the way his voice shaped into his mug as he took a loud sip of his drink, “You should take Y/N and go find it.”

Heat flooded your face at how forward Sam was, and at the idea of kissing Peter. It was thrilling to think that in just twenty–four hours, you could be kissing Peter Parker. You wouldn’t have to avoid him anymore, you could freely sit with him and express your feelings–

A sigh could be heard from closer than anticipated. A sigh that sounded dejected, conflicted. Rejecting. Ouch. You slowly crept around the corner, eying Peter’s back as he replied to Sam.

“I’m not gonna do that. I can’t.” Peter seemed to hesitate, but that didn’t take away from how much it hurt. “I just don’t want..”

“You don’t want to kiss me?” You found your place to interject, now standing in view of Sam and Peter’s back.

As Peter turned to look at you, it didn’t take much to notice the way his heart was in his throat. His whole body was stiff with regret, and his hands held the air in front of him like there was something to fix. But there wasn’t; you had your answer.

Peter Parker didn’t love you like that.

“Y/N, I–” Even as he took steps towards you, it felt like he only got further away from you. You put space between the two of you, a hand coming out to emphasize the physical boundary you needed.

You shut your eyes for a second, taking a breather. Keeping your composure was your main focus. “No, no. It’s fine.” You tried to keep earnesty and understanding in your tone. “But you don’t have to make kissing your best friend seem like such a chore.” You snapped a bit more intensely than you’d intended, but you needed to. You had to leave.

One more breath and you left, unable to look Peter in the eye again before you made your way to your room. You hated how the look on his face stuck in your brain like some traumatic flashback. The look in his eyes when he saw you was almost as hurt as you were. It didn’t make sense.

Making your way into your room, a knock interrupted your peace of mind. Holding off on processing your rejection, you turned and met eyes with Sam. You didn’t know whether it was a welcomed company or something you wanted to turn away.

Before you could open your mouth, Sam spoke up.

“I know what happened back there wasn’t.. The best, but I swear it was–”

“Sam.” The words came out shorter than you were used to. “If you’re here to talk to me about that, I don’t want to hear it.”

It sucked. You hated the feeling of being rejected. It also felt so much heavier because you’d already been avoiding Peter, you’d already been missing his company; now, you felt like you had more reason to steer clear of him. You hated it. You hated how much it hurt you.

Shaking his head, Sam got on task. “Right, okay.” His tone became less sympathetic, but his expression still said everything that his words didn’t. “Buck and I were assigned to stakeout tomorrow, but our backup fell through. What Parker and I were talking about in the kitchen was if you and him could stakeout and then Buck and I could back–up for you two.”

You blinked a few times. He was really asking you to do that? To sit in a car with Peter after he’d just ripped your heart out?

After thinking about it like that, you fully realized that Peter was oblivious to your heartbreak. He didn’t know he’d rejected you, and he was still your best friend. Maybe this was a sign, and something the two of you needed to do.

Sighing, you held back an eye roll. “Fine. I could do that.” You placed your hands on your hips, raising a brow at Sam. “Did Peter agree to it?”

“Cuddle–bug said that as long as you were okay with it, he’d be more than happy to.”

Hearing the nickname lodged a dagger in a spot you didn’t think was reachable. God, it hurt. It might get worse with this mission, but you also knew that you’d never forgive yourself if you’d fully pushed Peter away.

“Okay. Then tell him to meet me in the garage tomorrow morning.”

Sam seemed to respect the boundary, and let you be after you’d given him the request. You didn’t have the stomach to see Peter before the stakeout, and you knew you’d have to prepare yourself quite a bit before you’d have to spend god knows how long with him tomorrow. Alone.

God knows how long you’d have to spend with him alone, in a car, doing nothing.

You were planning to kill Sam when you got back, especially if this was some kind of ruse to set up you and your best friend.

tag–list : @helen-on-earth @ellebutnotwoods @luvherfairy @agaybandgeek @lazy4teen @hufflepuff-n-fluff @petersparkerss @tommysfrog @zelzablues @mavex @thatmarvelchick19 @parkersmaterialgirl @justtuesdays @coralineyouareinterribledanger

[jmdbjk]

All things Walmart, poo, ticks and inspiration...

Spoiler alert but to hell with it, I know y'all have watched it all already.

Things I cannot relate to and will never happen to me:

• Pushing my cart down the snack aisle at Walmart and running into Jungkook searching for Tostitos and a sponge.

• Going out to the mailbox to gather the day's junk mail and two guys on a Harley drive by and wave at me and me not know it was Jimin and Jungkook.

• Hiking through the forest and not realizing that guy way up ahead swatting at mosquitoes is Jimin.

• Enjoying my lobster mac & cheese at a restaurant and not know Jungkook is discreetly (not so discreetly) staring at my food trying to decide if he wants to order what I'm having.

I didn't have time today to spend on this like I wanted to and I feel like everyone has already talked about the finer points they're most interested in so I'm going to just drop a few things that made ME laugh, smile and cherish the fact they even started this thing, this show. Episode 3 will be here tomorrow night (for me) so I don't want to delay this anymore so I'll be brief for Ep. 2.

Saturday, July 15:

They left the campsite and Jungkook got to ride the motorcycle. Jimin said he looked like a proper American.

They stopped at a park and hiked a trail. Jimin fought mosquitoes. It was brutal. I've seen people worried about ticks. And snakes. Jimin pointed out a spider on a tree. Jungkook fantasized about alligators. Tick inspections occurred all around later on I hope.

We didn't see the transition from woods to marina. Maybe they had to make a bathroom stop for Jimin. Or urgent care to get him some meds. Who knows. Poor thing was suffering.

On the yacht, Jimin was still feeling puny but he tried. He ate though he knew he was risking it all.

He horsed around with Jungkook with the beast still rolling around in his guts.

I really wasn't expecting so much poop talk during Are You Sure but here we are.

I think this summed up the yacht trip. Especially after how it all started with the excursion being leaked by the boat captain himself. Perhaps the editors did this on purpose.

FYI those concentric ripples in the images are my camera trying to capture the screen in a different frequency than the monitor refreshes or some tech mumbo jumbo. Apologies and please ignore. It's Disney's fault for not letting us screen cap using an app.

I think Jungkook was looking for ticks. He would take something like that seriously, don't you think?

But Jimin mostly slept on the yacht. He had a rough night before. They still salvaged what they could and they still seemed to enjoy the experience.

A trip to Walmart. On the way they have one of those rambling conversations where Jungkook, who is not the most talkative type, decides to talk Jimin's ear off. They talked about making music and what drives them personally in their choices about their work.

We'll visit that thought again in a minute....

The whole Walmart visit is surreal to me. I go to Walmart at least once a week so to see Jimin and Jungkook browsing the aisles just blows my mind. NEVER did I EVER dream I'd see them looking for bacon at WALMART.

They look just like anyone else pushing their shopping cart going down the cereal aisle past the boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Sugar Pops.

Jimin was a tad testy when JK disappeared. He even cussed him out. HAHAHAHAHAAA. BEEN THERE DONE THAT!!!

I know Jimin-ssi, why are men like that? I swear to god...

I saw someone say this sums up their dynamic perfectly: Jimin calculating in his mind how to work the self-check out while Jungkook does the helicopter cam above him.

You gotta give it to Walmart though, they do know their customer. The self check out is pretty self-explanatory.

The content of their cart:

TWO boxes of Twinkies???? And both Prego AND Ragu...

Getting to the AirBnb accommodations. Cooking. Chilling out before bedtime and Jimin lets Jungkook hear Who.

Horsing around in bed. You know, all these years, I've wondered how they keep the toothpaste spit inside their mouths while brushing their teeth? We've seen them brushing their teeth backstage, in the bathroom, walking around the green room, outside practicing choreo... HOW DO THEY NOT DROOL ALL OVER THEIR CUSTOM MADE OUTFITS? And now wrestling on the bed...

Waking up, JK and his frosted flakes. Jokes about abandoning Jimin...more horsing around on the bed. And then they doze off again. I know they did. Hard to tell but Jungkook is glued to Jimin's back.

Jimin gets to ride on the back of the Harley with JK. It starts to rain. I guess they were bringing it back to the rental place.

Going back to the store for a sponge.

I think Jimin was feeling much better. Looked like he slept better.

We see the Army who said they met Jimin and Jungkook last year. When I first heard about it I thought how lucky and random and what kind of stars need to align for that to happen??? What a great experience!!! When will it be our turn???

And then the next idea for Run BTS (the show)... hide and seek while shopping for specific ingredients to cook with and the twist is they're in a foreign country. WORLD TOUR RUN BTS!!! BIGHIT I HAVE IDEAS!!!! LISTEN TO ME!!!!

Its raining, dancing in the rain as they exit the store. They leave in the Jeep and head back to the house to eat their pizza.

Army in Connecticut won in life.

Then they start their journey back to NYC (I'm assuming) so Jungkook can go on to London and Jimin can head back to Korea. They stop one more time for lobster rolls and lobster mac & cheese.

That's when we see Jungkook contradict himself...

In the Jeep just a little while ago you said nothing inspired you. Was it the rain or the beer that was inspiring you? Or was it the head full of new memories and ideas about the next trip that were swirling around in there?

By the end of this trip, they are back in sync.

Their closing interview: JK wants to keep doing this until they're 50, 12 more seasons! JK said "practice being better variety show entertainers so the two of us can continue doing this" as motivation to continue doing this type of thing way into the future. Jimin found humor in that. And that's where we fade to black.

And during the credits, Jimin is eating again, spicy ramen, possibly the next day. Apparently his stomach is back in order as he readies to fly back home.

What a trip.

Deeper thoughts:

Jimin and Jungkook wanted to spend time together. We knew that. It didn't seem to happen when it could have. They even said so in the Jeep. But JK concluded the discussion succinctly:

Finally.

Finally they were spending quality time together. Though their talk was brief, we have no idea if there was more to it before or after what we saw of it. The editors showed us that much enough to explain the situation and why it had not happened. The end result of it all was: finally.

Finally, after wanting this. Finally, after saying we would. Finally... doing something together that we loved doing before and we've wanted to do again. Finally.

Jimin pushed for it. He knew. He made it happen. Finally.

They are two distinct personalities and their journeys through this solo era leading up to their enlistment were different.

Jimin is a leader and doer. He is the initiator. Jimin said if he hadn't pushed for this show to happen it would not have gotten done.

There were a few moments in these first two episodes where Jimin brought up MS. Jungkook didn't seem thrilled to talk about it.

They truly didn't know what they were going to film for this show. They got in the car and started to make it up as they went. I can see how that would be awkward.

They don't understand that just them being themselves is what we want to see. They don't have to try to make something happen. Its the spontaneous moments that make the best content (see kayak dump and Walmart trip). Maybe Jimin was more in tune with this than Jungkook was but he is the one who turns on a live and sits there and watches Netflix while eating chicken. They had to get back in sync and they did.

So the first episode was a little slow, a little cautious, a little quiet. Reserved. That first day they were finding their groove, getting 're-acquainted' if you will, finding the slots and spaces in each other that fit and feel the most comfortable to them. You could see them relax as the day wore on.

But, they still had challenges. JK's head cold. Jimin's stomach bug. You want some TMI's? Watch Jimin run to the bathroom for the fifth time.

We may see a little bit of this quiet re-acquainting when BTS does its first group live next year. And yes, I am 100% confident we will see this first live shortly after Jimin and Jungkook are discharged. We will see them in a way we've never seen before.

After both episodes... my conclusion is we saw about 2 hours out of the roughly 3 or three and a half days Jimin and Jungkook were together. Thursday evening, July 13 through Sunday evening, July 16. I'm not exactly sure when JK left for London but Jimin went back to Korea on July 17.

I wonder if the plan was to create hour long episodes or if there was so much they wanted to show the episodes just ended up being that long. They could have easily hidden Jimin's stomach issues from us. They could have edited a lot of it down. But in making the episodes this long, they showed more and more of their dynamic in play.

I didn't put everything into this post that I wanted to but we've got six more episodes coming and I still haven't had time to watch Run Jin.

Hashtags arent working... I'll add them later.

[e-nonsense]

MERCENARY pt. two

pairing. batfam x batsis!reader

warnings. languages death/murder, gun violence

summary. reader is bruce wayne’s unofficial daughter and a mercenary. she doesn’t frequent gotham until she gets paid to kill the joker. previous part

When you woke up you were in the Batcave. You were in big trouble, big big trouble. Why? Well...

The Joker was dead,

you family knows that you're The Knight,

and lastly you lied to Alfred

You could still walk, you only passed from exhaustion killing the Joker had been easier than you thought it would be, but getting away from the scene of the crime was very hard.

You slipped into Arkham thanks to Harley Quinn who pretended to be a guard and let you in through a secret tunnel, if she had stayed getting out would've been a lot easier but you couldn't risk her getting caught so you told her to leave, lying that you had an exit strategy.

You had made it out of Arkham successfully but when you were out all the Gotham Knights where there - it made you feel special if you weren't gonna lie - waiting for you, even Red Hood who looked like he didn't want to be there.

You took them down one by one - having known all there strengths and weaknesses, and weak spots - till eventually you were left with one.

And there he stood Batman, The Dark Knight something that contrasted your name the White Knight, you knew that you could take him down with some time but that was time you didn't have so you got in a fighting stance and when Bruce lunged you ran.

From roof to roof and Batman eventually accompanied by his birds and idiot sidekicks followed and when instead of jumping you dropped, they were all a little confused until they saw a speeding away. Damian was impressed. In the end they still got you and here you all where, every single pair of eyes on you.

"Sooo?" you smiled awkwardly "how's everyone feeling?"

"confused" came Duke's voice, everyone glared at him minus you who smiled at him gratefully.

"Mercenary?" Jason, he didn't sound pissed probably 'cause you just killed the Joker "What were there no other occupations available?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Bruce asked and everyone was quiet once again. You sighed "If I told you what would you have said?"

"I-"

"No, Bruce you wouldn't have supported me. Not the way you do everyone else" you took a breath to control yourself "and that's understandable, y'know but you wouldn't have accepted me either, and don't lie about how you would."

"She has a point father"

"Damian-"

"Don't get angry at him"

"Don't tell me how to raise my son!"

"Your son! What about your daughter?!"

And that's when the argument flared, you were trying to avoid this but somethings just need to happen to resolve issues.

Everyone slowly started to back away from the heated argument, everyone but Damian and Jason who stood by your side the entire time.

"Where'd you even learn to fight like this?!"

Bruce looked at you expecting an answer, but you were far to ashamed to admit who had taught you to fight.

"Khoa" you mumbled in hopes that nobody would hear you over the water in the background, but they did. You knew this would happen one day, Bruce would finally tell you to piss off and never show your face unless he needed you to.

Bruce wasn't sure what to say. He didn't think Ghost-Maker of all people would take you in and train you, his old friend now rival. Why?

"Knight"

Everyone's heads snapped towards the entry of the batcave, and there he stood in all his idiotic glory, Khoa Khan. You didn't even know he was in Gotham.

"Ghost" you nodded at him

"You good?" a question that shocked Bruce and Dick

"Yup, just finishing off here" you ruffled Damian's hair with a promise to eventually come visit when things cooled down and squeezed Jason's hand in reassurance that you'd be safe.

You looked at Khoa "I'll be up" and he turned to leave

You walked up to Bruce and everyone else went on to do their own things in the cave pretending like they weren't listening.

"Bruce-"

"Stay safe, I'll uh reach out once I've had time to cool off and think about this" Bruce spoke softly.

You nodded hanging onto his words, "Don't do anything stupid, and please stay safe"

Bruce watched as you walked away from him, he wished he could stop you from following his once friend. You had still left him with so many unanswered questions, a part of him just wished he'd been a more present father than maybe this wouldn't be happening.

But he let you walk away, he knew you'd be safe that's all that mattered to him right now.

"Love you dad" and he smiled.

ᴛᴀɢ/ꜱ: @edgycatx @bbnny @magikhoodie @instantplaiddream @alecmores

© e-nonsense. do no copy/steal/translate. do it and I’ll bite your toes off

[lazycats-stuff]

talia and bruce having a older son who “went missing ” but actually joined the court of owls . he’s become friends with a bunch of rouges and two face is like a dad to him. he lives with harley and ivy and sometimes selina and they just chaos. but he runs into batfam and damian just wants to kidnap him so he can have his brother back

Will do. Sorry for taking a while to write this. And sorry if this was too short, I tried to write more 😖 I'm thinking about a part 2, but I'm not sure. Should I?

Summary: Bruce and Talia had a son. But the problem is that he is missing and Talia and Bruce can't find him. That is, until one night that will change everything.

Warnings: Mentions of murder, but nothing explicit, the rouges being friends with (Y/N), Damian trying to kidnap (Y/N), Bruce being done with everything.

(Y/N) wiped his hands, opening the doors of the roof. He sighed as he watched over the city. He managed to kill his target, now it was time to call the cleaners up and he will be going to see Harvey. He didn't see the man in a while. The Court kept him busy. He made a quick call and off he went.

He ran from roof to roof, jumping and rolling. He was close to Harvey's place and he positioned himself to jumped trough the thankfully open window. He landed softly on the hard floor. He walked down the hall for a while before knocking on Harvey's door.

He entered the office, smiling at the man who smiled back.

" My boy, it's been a while! " Harvey said, bringing him into a hug.

" I know, the Court made me busy. " (Y/N) replied, releasing the man.

" How are you? Are you injured? " Harvey asked quickly.

" I'm not injured, I am way to talented to get injured. "

Harvey chuckled, knowing it was true. (Y/N) was a good assassin. Quick and fast on his feet.

" Are you here for long? "

" No, I made a promise to Harley and Ivy that we would have a sleepover. And they told me to get back as soon as possible. "

" Are you hungry? I can make you something quickly. "

" I am slightly, but like I said, I will sleep at Harley's. I'm sure she ordered some pizza. "

" You need something other than pizza. "

(Y/N) shrugged, brushing off the comment. Pizza is life.

" Okay, fine, pizza is enough. "

(Y/N) smiled at Harvey, approving of the comment.

Harvey gave him a hug, saying goodbye. The boy was like a son to him and he doesn't spend enough time with him. He needs to talk with Pamela and Harley about this.

" I will come to visit you in a few days. "

And after a quick hug, he jumped out the window office, managing to swing himself up to the roof. From there he ran once more. He sighed in relief when he go to the Botanical Gardens. He went to the building where Harley and Poison Ivy lived.

(Y/N) was finally happy for Harley. She left the Joker after being abused for so long. From what he has heard, she beat him so heard that he was out of action for a few months so to speak. And he was glad.

He climbed down from the roof through the window that was conveniently left open. He slid in the living room, where Harley was waiting on the couch.

" Hello my little owl! We had made some pizza for you and sit down, no wait, do you need to change? " She fired question after question, not letting him answer.

Pamela gave him a sympathetic smile, knowing that he just needed to crash.

" Hun, let him go to his room. We got you some clean clothes. Take a shower too if you want too. "

(Y/N) nodded, walking towards the room. He sometimes lived here, almost like a third roommate, but that 3rd roommate doesn't pay rent, shows up bloody from time to time and just tired in general. But that wasn't anything new in Gotham. Gotham people aren't even fazed at anything at this point.

He changed from his court of Owls suit. Once he took the the top off, he looked at his arms. No bruises tonight it seems. Good. He took everything off and went into the bathroom. They turned the heating on here. Aw. (Y/N) didn't like cold and he was generally cold most of the time.

He got into the shower and let the warm water. He sighed in pleasure as the warm water washed over his body. It felt heavenly. He quickly washed his hair and body and changed into fresh clothes. He took a towel to dry his hair and then threw it in the laundry bin. Pizza sounds great now. He didn't really eat anything before he left to kill his target.

" Here is your slice. Come on, sit here. Harley wants to watch movies." Pamela said, but something was off.

" Please tell me it isn't action. "

Pamela looked away for a moment and (Y/N) sighed. No. Everything in those movies was unreal and stupid. He always ends up criticizing the moves and unrealistic stuff.

Always.

" Harley, tell me why I have to watch this shit? " (Y/N) asked, huffing.

" Because your commentary is great. You can always shed a light on Hollywood stunts and what doesn't look real. I watched a lot of movies where people's mental health was misrepresented. " Harley said, smiling. But there was something else behind that smile.

" What did you do? " (Y/N) asked, moving closer to Pamela. Pamela raised her eyebrow, confused. What did her girlfriend do?

" Whatever do you mean? "

Pamela sighed. She did something.

" Shit. " (Y/N) muttered, rubbing his forehead. Oh no. The doorbell rang and (Y/N) tensed up. Harley jumped up from the couch and (Y/N) wanted to stop her. It's never a good idea to open the door like that. This is Gotham for the love of God.

" Selina! " Harley screamed and (Y/N) relaxed. Okay, it's Catwoman. Whew.

" (Y/N), my little owl! Harley didn't say you were going to be here! " Selina exclaimed happily, quickly bringing her favorite into a hug.

" I wanted to surprise you. " Harley said, moving to sit on Pamela's lap.

" Well, none the less, I brought some face masks. "

(Y/N) groaned as the girls laughed. Oh God.

Few days later, he went to Harvey. There was a problem while he was working, well killing. He got ambushed by familiar assassin. His mother's assassins. Did his mother found him? That can't be. He made sure that it looked liked like he went missing. Maybe it wasn't his mother, but his father?

(Y/N) shook his head. No... Bruce would go after him himself. What is he going to do now?

He rolled his shoulder that was probably dislocated or bruised. He can't do this. He can't go back to live with either of them. He can't. He just can't. There is a reason why (Y/N) joined the Court of Owls.

Talia cursed as she got a call from one of her assassins. (Y/N) escaped and even managed to evade her assassins. He was taught well after all. The limo that she was driving in stopped in front of the manor. She gave Bruce a call about (Y/N). Bruce was quickly outside waiting for her already. He was nervous, fearing the info.

" Hello beloved. I have news. " Talia said, moving past Bruce inside of the manor.

" You should call Damian too. "

Bruce didn't need to. The four boys showed up, and everyone was tense and on guard, but Damian. He knew that his mother wouldn't attack them.

" What is happening? " Jason asked.

" You know about Damian's brother (Y/N)? The one that went missing? " Bruce said, rubbing his forehead.

The boys nodded, confused. They knew the basics of (Y/N)'s story, but nothing in detail.

" Talia found him. Her assassins tried to get him, but he escaped and evaded them. "

" And that's not all. " Talia said, making everyone look at her.

" He joined the Court of Owls. I recognized the uniform he was wearing. "

Bruce was shocked to say the least. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. No. Oh no.

" So what do we do? " Jason asked.

" We find him and bring him here. " Damian said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

" Okay, we can't just kidnap him- " Dick started, trying to come up with a non violent solution.

" Well you can't, but I can. " Damian said.

" But you do need a plan. " Talia said.

Damian mumbled something beneath his breath. Bruce knew that it wasn't something good. But Talia was right. If they wanted to bring (Y/N) back, they would need to make a plan. A good one.

(Y/N) was paranoid. For the last couple of days, he was constantly watching his back. Maybe he needs to leave Gotham? But where? Mexico? Canada? Somewhere in Europe? Asia? Australia?

No, not Australia. Spiders and snakes.

" What am I going to do? " (Y/N) asked himself as he was standing on the roof. He couldn't stay with anybody tonight. He was going to crash with them during the day.

He just needs to survive the night. He needs to. He can do this.

" Hello brother. "

(Y/N) slowly turned around. Damian the rest of the family was there.

" Not happening. " (Y/N) said, before jumping off of the roof.

He heard footsteps behind him. He can't stop now, he needs to lose them now. He managed to throw Tim off. He could only hope to throw the rest off.

He was proven wrong when Damian threw them both down onto a random rooftop. They both groaned before managing to rise up to their feet.

" Why did you join the Court of Owls? " Damian asked, completely calm. (Y/N) glared at Damian, refusing to answer.

" You don't need to know that. "

(Y/N) looked back, seeing a building. It was still in construction, he could hide there. He managed to jumped there just in time. He landed softly before moving through the holes through the floor.

He listened to the possible noise that they could make. He held his breath as he managed to escape. He put a scarf over the bottom part of his face and the pulling a cap out of his pocket to put it on his head. He needs to get somewhere.

Somewhere away from here. He closed his eyes for a moment. No. No emotions tonight. Only pure logic.

[godspeedviper]

Pride at Arkham Asylum - Headcanons

𖤐 SFW || TW: None

𖤐 A/N: Happy pride to all! Please keep in mind these are just headcanons made from my opinions for FUN! Do not get mad if these do not align with your own takes on the characters. Additionally, some of the chosen gifs are my own fancasts for live action of the characters we haven't gotten yet. Once again, this is not meant to upset anyone. These are simply my opinions done entirely for LIGHTHEARTED FANDOM FUN.

⚠️DON'T LIKE DON'T READ. BLOCK AND MOVE ON⚠️

Dr. Jonathan Crane (Scarecrow)

While he was staff he absolutely hated pride month on simple account of the excessive decorations & frivolous activities. Dr. Quinzel was his absolute nemesis as she was always the most enthusiastic member of Arkham's staff.

After he gets put into Arkham as Scarecrow he started to relish in the decorations & celebrations just to annoy his handlers. He makes a game out of everything & has started a tradition of repurposing Halloween decorations for pride month.

When Harley joins him as an inmate she encourages him to bring out his artsy side, & together the two begin making Pride Pumpkins. Even the staff have caught on & they hold a competition to see who can make the best Pride Pumpkin both in the break room & for the inmates (No carving allowed, painting only, for obvious reasons).

If asked about his pronouns & orientation he will usually say it's none of your business, but sometimes he will reply with "they/he/it" for The Scarecrow. No one really knows for sure, but 'aromantic? asexual? agender???' is written in his file on the margins, as it seems he has no interest in such activities (though rumors suggest otherwise). The staff regularly place lunchtime bets as to his sexuality (or lack thereof).

Dr. Harleen Quinzel (Harley Quinn)

When first arriving at Arkham as a member of staff, she insists upon decorations in the breakroom, & starts encouraging related activities for the patients such as a pride ball/dance, arts + crafts, & group therapy based around queer issues.

Once she returns as an inmate, she insists upon painting her own little bi pride flag every year & decorating her cell with whatever items she's allowed. Sometimes she will switch it up with a pan flag, & other times she keeps both up.

Her favorite activity is the pride ball that she herself started when she was still employed there. She usually chooses the music & theme along with Ivy & Selena (or both if all 3 of them are in at the same time).

The staff can never really keep up with who she's attending the dance with & they regularly place bets on that too. Sometimes it's Joker, sometimes its Poison Ivy, & one time she even dragged Bruce Wayne into it when he was around for a visit. No one could figure out for the life of them why the man agreed in the first place.

Dr. Pamela Lilian Isley (Poison Ivy)

Much like Scarecrow, Ivy at first wasn't very fond of the festivities on account of her introverted nature. Also like Scarecrow, she only began partaking in the celebration because of Harley.

She is oddly competitive in the annual Pride Pumpkin contest & has a concerning rivalry going with Scarecrow. If one of them wins best pumpkin for pride, then the other has to win best Halloween pumpkin out of pure spite.

Although she was denied the request to start a WLW knitting club (for obvious reasons) she is the only inmate granted permission to pin a large lesbian flag in her cell on the condition of good behavior. Outside of Arkham though, she does start that knitting club with the Birds of Prey + Gotham City Sirens.

"God is a Lesbian Woman: On The Divine Feminine, Mother Nature, & Climate Change" is a paper she managed to publish as a zine while at Arkham. From that point on, she receives a lot of fanmail from other climate activist queer women. The staff have no idea how she got that zine out there, but at least half of them are secretly subscribed to it. She makes great points.

Edward Nashton/Nygma (The Riddler)

His sexuality seems to be the most complicated riddle of them all, as he regularly seems to have a fluctuating crisis over his sexual orientation. He really takes to the group therapy sessions & is always the most talkative (and weepy).

When well behaved, he is given permission to enter the hospital kitchen to assist in baking cupcakes for the end of the month pride ball/dance. He loves decorating them with icing, but he will also hide a little plastic rainbow toy despite being told numerous times not to as it is a choking hazard. Whoever gets it has to help him decorate the cupcakes next year.

His favorite activity is being allowed to watch Drag Race in the rec room. While he was denied permission to conduct a drag competition in the asylum, he is given permission to host a vogueing "class" in the yard all month long (they watch VHS tapes on how to vogue and try to keep up, that's the class).

Despite only being allowed to use wax crayons, he likes to draw new riddler themed outfits for himself whenever he has the chance. Mostly after he finishes an episode of Drag Race. He's actually quite skilled at drawing. The staff often wonder if he makes his own costumes or if he gives the drawings to a tailor, but no one really wants to ask.

Selina Kyle (Catwoman)

Like Ivy & Crane, Selena is quite the reclusive introvert when first brought in. However, she will open up to her fellow rogues when they are also in attendance, but she retains her ever-present 'too cool' attitude.

Her favorite thing to do during pride month is her makeup. She will spend hours in solitude toying with eyeshadow to debut intricate pride themed looks despite the limitations (no brushes with long handles, no palettes just individual rounded eyeshadow pans, etc).

When not doing her own makeup, she's usually doing someone else's. She & Joker will oftentimes have these odd "spa days" where they do each other's nails &/or makeup, along with whatever skincare they are allowed to have (hardly any complex products due to various inmates being expert chemists. Cucumber peels only).

Despite Harley & Ivy making a lot of contributions to the playlist for the end of the month pride ball, Selena is always resident DJ. No one will admit it, because they're not as cool as her, but she has the best music taste of anyone. Even the staff will try to shazam whatever songs she plays at the ball to add to their own playlist.

Dr. Jervis Tetch (Mad Hatter)

When asked about pronouns Jervis will have two different responses depending on how well medicated he is at the time. If coherent, he will respond with "he/him/his". If in Wonderland, he will go on a rant about how fascinating xenopronouns are yet never directly answer the question. Sometimes he will blurt out "her pronouns are she/her!!!" in regards to Alice.

His favorite activity is joining Riddler in drawing potential costume ideas, although most times he draws anything at all while Ed works on a costume, bouncing ideas off out loud without waiting for Jervis' response. It's more of a parallel play kind of activity.

Much like his dear friend Jonathan Crane, no one can seem to really figure out a label for him. He doesn't seem to express any interest in courtship or intimacy, but salacious rumors exist. Is sex just a means to an end for him or is he simply being private about his romantic/sexual life? The only person that seems to know is Crane, & he enjoys keeping the mystery alive.

Thanks to him, tea is served alongside Riddler's cupcakes at the end of the month pride ball. He takes great pride in carefully selecting blends for the craft services table, mixing in both hot & iced tea to serve all tastes.

The Joker

Just like Crane & Jervis, Joker's gender + sexuality are a mystery, but in quite the opposite manner. He's unabashedly flamboyant & will flirt with anyone if bored enough. No one can ever tell if he means it or not.

Despite his vile reputation, he's quick to adapt to preferred pronouns & new names. He was the first to properly address Ed by his preferred name of Ed Nygma instead of Nashton, & lightheartedly joked that it was a transition & refers to Nashton as a deadname. Even villains have standards it seems.

If asked about his pronouns, Joker will reply "hehe/haha" to the point that people quickly stopped asking just to be spared the dad joke. However, staff have heard his fellow rogues use any & all pronouns under the sun to refer to the clown. It seems they all make a game out of keeping the staff guessing, & no matter what pronouns they use, Joker always responds without missing a beat.

One year in particular he was sent to solitary for weeks after somehow managing to smuggle in various dresses & makeup to indulge Riddler in his desire to host a drag contest. By the time staff noticed, the entire rec room had been transformed into a scene straight out of Paris is Burning. No one knows how he pulled that off, not even Harley.

Ao3 || WiPs || Ko-Fi

[sparklingmineraltequila]

American Wasteland

Note: Part three. I realised I never specified an exact timeframe so I'm clarifying that this is the last few year/months of him being undercover, about '94 Rust. I'm an ao3 girl so I'm figuring out how to lay fics out on Tumblr. Deeply appreciate everyone who's reading

Warnings: Drugs, drinking, swearing, smut insinuations and references to past violence but it is a True Detective fic, so

'Do you think we can ever truly talk about God?' Cassandra pipes up, as she's smearing herself in her pre-work lather of coco butter. When the sheen of the grease hits the light, it emphasises the taught expanse of her stomach and the tendons in her calfs. An amalgamation of divinity and delicate mortality; the pathetic fragility of the flesh, blood, skin and bones all knotted together, craving cosmic importance. 'Our soul, if there even exists such a thing,' Rust thinks, 'is just a ghost in a machine.'

Rust glances over to where she is standing in a matching lace, navy set, leg elegantly poised on the counter as she continues smoothing the ointment onto herself. He's lying on the mattress, still fully clothed, as he pinches his cigarette and stares back up to the ceiling. The events of the past few days, a visit to a meth lab in Galveston with Ginger followed by a drug and booze binge, have fucked his cognitive workings into a scramble of old memories and new sounds: the smell of gunpowder on his biker jacket, Cassandra's absent minded humming of an old Willie Nelson song, the brown sludge in his nail beds from when he was draining his Harley's oil, the black grease mixing with the residue of the red, Texan dust. He wills himself to give her a semi-coherent answer,

'I don't believe there's anyone there to talk to,' he drawls.

'I said about, not to.'

'What's your point, Cass? I ain't got the fuckin' will, tonight.' Rust thinks he can feel the chemical reactions behind his eyes; his enzymes breaking down proteins, the Speed throbbing through his neurotransmitters.

She rolls her eyes at him as she swaps leg, 'Chill out, I'm only wondering what you think. You know I value your opinion.'

He stiffens at that. 'Don't do this, baby,' he thinks 'It ain't worth whatever you think it is.' She's been doing this more often, letting that docility seep through the crevices of her impassible constitution. She hates herself for it, he can hear it in the acerbic tinge of her words, when she says shit like that to him. Sometimes, when he really concentrates at the expression in those dark pools of her eyes, he knows she believes she has deserved every horrific thing that has ever happened to her.

'I ain't really got an opinion on this matter, yet,' he says through an exhale of smoke, 'Why don't you tell me yours?'

'I know why, like, logistically we talk about God in modern languages, that's self explanatory. But it feels wrong, like we're corrupting the actual concept of a god.'

Rust doesn't look at her but says, 'Go on.'

'I think speaking about God in a dead language preserves him. Dead languages are frozen in time: absolute. They don't allow the transmutation or fucking corruption that modern languages do which are always evolving with dialects and younger generations,' she pauses, slipping her leg down from the counter as she slides her loose Budweiser t-shirt over her body, much to Rust's dismay. She continues,

'Also, on a more personal, aesthetic note, I think worship sounds a lot more metal in a language that isn't the one I use to order at fuckin' Waffle House.'

Rust snorts at that. He hears the slight smile in her voice as she replies,

'I know it sounds dumb when I condense it like that but that's literally my entire point. Worship is so often so dependent on the words we use and we venerate God in the same language that the televangelists or politicians use to con people on TV, the one that the girls at work use to sweet talk a customer into a lap dance? Seems fucked and incoherent to me.'

'I'm sure you can do that shit in a dead language too.'

'Nah, they existed before us. Whatever we try to imbue them with means fuckall, they don't participate in the reality of our information anymore.'

That gets him to sit up, the conversation staring to sober him up, 'Reality of information, huh? You've been stealing my books again, Cass?' a trace of a smirk on his lips. She huffs at him, stood in the middle of trailer,

'You were gone for three days and class is off for Spring Break, what the hell else was I supposed to do?'

'Buy some decent nightwear?' he remarks dryly. The reference to another one of her seduction tactics gets a mischievous smile from Cassandra . The past couple of weeks, she has been going to bed in some very short and, sometimes, very sheer nightdresses. Despite having made the chivalrous choice of sleeping on the floor of the trailer, chivalry being a virtue Rust is largely unacquainted with these days, his isn't unaffected by the sight of her sprawled out, almost beside him. Especially, when the nightdress naturally rides up during the night; a factor that has forced him to take too many a late night smokes outside.

'Nah, not when I know you enjoy it so much.'

'Cassandra,' Rust warns.

'Shit, full name?' she teases, 'You know, you're the only person who I let call me Cass.' She walks towards him, crawling onto the mattress and lying down next to him to look up at the ceiling. Rust doesn't move, not a goddamn inch. 'She'll know,' he thinks, 'Fuck, she probably already does.' Girls like Cassandra, girls too sexy and too tough for their age, always know. They have to. Growing up in a trailers, apartments and halfway houses, knowing that their tips which become their meals are based on how long they'll allow a drunk patron to stare at their tits or pat their asses as they serve them. They can smell male attraction from a mile off, tongues running over canines in mouths addled with whiskey and cigarettes. Oh yeah, they can tell and they know exactly how to play that game.

Rust wonders if he should feel some resentment towards her for it. He doesn't.

'Oh yeah?' he mutters, unimpressed.

'Yeah.'

'Lucky me.'

'You are. You know how many of your brothers would kill to give me a nickname?'

'Sounds to me like they already do,' his tone being harsher than he intended.

She goes silent and Rust hates himself more now than he did the other day, when he smashed a meth cook's head into a sink 14 times for screwing the Iron Crusaders' supply. The fragments of teeth and filaments of saliva mixed with blood that were left in the sink have nothing on the current look in Cassandra's eye.

'Don't be an asshole, Crash. You know I don't enjoy any of it,' her voice hoarse.

For the first time this evening, he looks her in the eye. 'I know,' tone steady but with a trace of true acknowledgment. Cassandra picks up on it, nodding her head. In these two innocuous actions, both have apologised and are forgiven. She stands up and grabs her duffel bag,

'You gonna swing by, tonight?'

He fucking wants to. Badly. He'd stomach the neon lights fucking with his Synesthesia, the lurid couches and the other Crusaders betting on how well each girl would 'take it'. He'd endure the fucking mire just to have Cassandra looking at him when she's on stage, the lights making her white smile a cool lilac.

'Nah. Can't tonight. Something at the clubhouse.'

'Oh, ok.'

'Poor kid. Like a kicked puppy,' he thinks. For the second time tonight, he can't stand that look in her eyes. He offers,

'You want a ride to work, baby? I'm headed in that direction, anyway.'

Something shifts slightly in her eye. The ball is back in her court. She savours it, rolls it over her tongue as victory coats it in something sweet and tart. Never one to show mercy, Cassandra toys with him,

'You'd give me a ride even if you weren't headed anywhere.'

Rust scoffs, fixing her with a look of chagrin; gleam of affection ,almost, trepidation in his eyes,

'I know, baby. I know.'

[rhinexstone]

Dick realizing that he and Bruce go to pride every year and that when Bruce is in drag he isn’t in an actual disguise

One summer day little Barbra visits the Wayne manor with rainbow bead necklace and chintzy rainbow sunglasses. Of course, she got them at pride and Dick immediately bursts into the batcave after she leaves and demands they go too.

“We already do, every year,” Bruce doesn’t look up from his paper.

“WHAT?!” Dick couldn’t believe that they went to the amazing parade Babs went to without noticing.

“We went as civilians and in masks, why do you think I wore that dress?” Bruce folded his paper and pulled his attention to Dick.

“I thought…I thought you were pretending to be a villain, like it was an undercover thing.” Dick started to work through his memories of Bruce annually caking his face in makeup and body in padding while putting on a persona similar to Brucie Wayne.

“I was in drag. When someone dresses as a grandiose caricature of gender in a playful way. Do you think everyone in drag is a villain?” Bruce stood up from his chair and knelt in front of Dick. Clearly something Dick was saying was wrong.

“Well, no, but…” Dick felt his face get hot in embarrassment, “you danced with Harley Quinn when she had those mutton chops? And a lot of villains were there too,”

Bruce let out an exhale, “she was a drag king, and she and I danced because she thought I was Bruce Wayne in drag. And yes, a lot of the people we usually fight were there, but did they do anything wrong?”

“The riddler broke a lot of open container laws—“ Dick pointed out.

“Outside of that. Did they hurt anyone or take advantage of anything?”

Dick thought for a moment. “No,”

“Then they don’t need to be stopped. They’re just out there living. And that’s why we patrolled the event beforehand, when they were setting up. Some people don’t like others minding their business, and those are the people we were out searching for. Not Harley, or Riddler, or any of the people we usually fight.” Bruce put his hand on Dicks shoulder, “now do you that when we’re there as civilians we’re there to have fun? We’re not undercover, not scoping the scene, just there for ourselves and the people we care about?”

Dick took a moment to process what Bruce just said. “…okay. So does that mean I get to have beads like Babs?”

“Yes, yes it does,” Bruce patted Dicks shoulder and returned to his chair.

[arrowmaker15]

Headcanon: Jason "I don't care about anyone and I hate everything" Todd threatens people that have any relation to his friends and family whatsoever. Whether it be a relationship, or hurting them, he has probably threatened them. Sort of a sequel to my last headcanon.

For example, Cass? Despite who her parents are, Jason has tracked both of them down, and had the balls to threaten them. Hell, for her dad he pulled out everything he knew and beat his ass to a pulp, just for the way he raised her. Shiva, all he said was that if she showed up in Gotham, it didn't matter where Jason was, he would be there within that week, and she would not like him.

Tim, oh Tim, Bernard got a visit not from vigilante Red Hood, he could handle that if it happened, but instead got a visit from overprotective big brother Jason Todd, and that guy was scarier than the vigilante.

Dick? You can fucking bet that Jason goes overboard with that one. Finding out what Tarantula did to that him sent him off the rails, and Tarantula paid the price dearly. Everyone took that as a warning to "stay the FUCK away from Nightwing."

For Duke all he does is send a picture of himself behind Duke who is looking at a street during the day, pointing a gun at the camera with it titled as "Hurt him, I will be out during the day regularly" to every corner of Gotham's underworld, everybody coming to an understanding.

Then there is Stephanie, problems with both parents. The first night he let Steph crash at his place, you can BET he went to her house and paid a visit to ol' Arthur Brown, aka Cluemaster. 9 broken ribs, a concussion, a fractured arm and 2 black eyes is how he returned to prison, the man walking down the road to where he was kept with a sign wrapped around his neck saying "Take me in, I escaped." When Steph heard the news, she knew who did it but never mentioned anything.

The way he handled talking to Jon after Jason got reintegrated was downright awful for Jon. Jason made it known he had kryptonite, and somehow managed to sneak it onto or into Jon without him knowing, Jason sharpening knives and cleaning guns in the same room he was in, always loading his gun with a lead encased clip, glaring at him the whole time.

Then there was Kate, the first person to reach out to him after he made his return, he obviously got protective considering she was "the cool aunt". Naturally, Maggie and Alice got a visit, not playing games.

He talked to Selina calmly about Bruce. They came to an understanding quickly, but only after he got reintegrated.

Finally, the unlikely friendship is Jason and one Harleen Quinzel. All he did was walk into Ivy's greenhouse and talk to her, making sure she knew exactly what would happen if she were to mistreat Harley, just like the Joker had. Ivy, for the first time in her life, just shut up and nodded.

The best part, nobody knew he was doing this. Shiva stopped showing up in Gotham without explanation and everyone was confused, David Cain was nowhere to be found (he was in a coma), Bernard got out of the same room as Jason as fast as possible and outright refused to go to the Manor for 3 months afterwards with nobody knowing why, Tarantula was never seen again (Dick was glad, though confused when people stopped hunting him down in Blüdhaven), Duke was at a loss for why crime was so much lower in the daytime than one would expect, Cluemaster served his sentence without complaint, Jon always got sweaty around Jason and Damian thought it was because of himself, Maggie was extra careful not to hurt Kate while Alice seemed more docile than one would think, Selina was normal, and Ivy made sure to check her actions and review them with thought sometimes right in front of Harley.

Absolutely nobody knew it was Jason (minus Steph with Cluemaster) and thought it was just weird occurrences. Jason proceeded like normal, and he would take what he did, and what he will continue to do in the future if necessary, to his second grave.

[hello-god-its-me-sara]

Jonathan Crane is a college graduate pursuing his masters degree in pharmacology. He shares an apartment with Pamela Isley, who is pursuing a masters in botany. Jonathan likes to visit a small flower shop where the owner will sell plants they rescued from garden centers of surrounding retail stores. Occasionally he will bring a plant home for Pamela. One day at the flower shop he comes across a small withering flytrap looking plant. Thinking that Pamela might have the green thumb to fix it, he brings it home to her.  Despite her best attempts she is unable to rescue the plant, however by accident she and Jon discover that the plant is receptive to blood… Out of curiosity Pamela and Jon feed the plant its carnivorous diet, quickly growing it to a considerable size.

Their new unique plant begins to gain them much attention from their teachers and classmates. As the attention expands to begin the school they keep secret the plant’s blood thirstiness (a thing harder said than done as Jon has begun daring people to put their hand near the plant to sadistically watch their fear as they get bitten). Managing to keep the plant sustained on animals and other less ethical ways the plant eventually gets big enough that they cannot continue feeding the plant, especially as it becomes disinterested in their animal offerings. The blood must be human.

Pamela is about to give up because at this point they’d need to feed the plant an entire human, something she is unwilling to do. Jon, on the other hand, seems much less defeated by this moral boundary and eventually convinces Pamela to sacrifice Joseph King, a dental student who is addicted to nitric oxide, and infamous boyfriend of Harleen Quinzel.

Harleen is a psychiatry student at their college and shares a couple classes with Jon, and Pamela has a crush on her. Joseph is outwardly abusive to Harleen and the reason Pamela is convinced into killing him by Jon.

They off him. Feed him to the plant. Harley joins the gang. That’s all I got at the moment. Maybe the plant can me named Ivy, idk

the brainrot

it got to me

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: January 2024

as long as I'm talking about The Gargoyle's Captive, let's discuss what else I've been reading this month.

Maeve Fly (CJ Leede, 2023) - I really liked this slender debut novel, which follows the titular Maeve Fly as she prowls LA like a homicidal alien, playing an unnamed ice princess in a certain theme park by day and indulging her murderous tendencies by night. Maeve is in a downward spiral; she's 27 years old and is preparing to lose her grandmother to illness and her only friend to a blossoming acting career. she sees no future for herself beyond losing the only two people she cares about and has no further goals, contenting herself with alcohol and porn while she rereads the same books, rewatches the same videos, and listens over and over to her playlist of Halloween music. Maeve is, it must be said, an abysmal loser, and I like her terrible melodrama a lot. I do think some of the hype is perhaps overstating the feminist credentials of this book; it sort of reminds me of when a college friend told me their favorite feminist movie was Suicide Squad (2016) because Harley Quinn was in it. Maeve talks a lot of big game about how women are always expected to have some tragedy to be deranged serial killers, while men are allowed to just do it, but it hit me as a little tryhard. there are a lot of books trying to be "the female American Psycho" right now - Eliza Clark's 2020 novel Boy Parts is frequently described as such - but it feels a bit too on the nose when Maeve's ultimate climactic rampage is directly inspired by a glimpse of the American Psycho novel. it's not that deep, but it is a gross, captivating read told from a fascinatingly cracked POV. check out Maeve Fly.

Laziness Does Not Exist (Devon Price, 2021) - yeah Devon Price is still following me (though my days are numbered, I'm sure) so it's a massive relief to say that I did like this book. Price has sort of become my self-help ride or die, mainly because a.) he's so much more self-aware than the average self-help writer that it feels kind of insulting to call him one and b.) he's actually dealing with topics that are relevant or interesting and providing actionable advice. while LDNE didn't engross me quite as hard as Unmasking Autism (while I am, famously, not autistic, I do believe in their beliefs, by which I mean I'm the token allistic among my close friends and I vastly prefer autistic company) it hit me hard in several unexpected pressure points. I'll happily admit that I can't relate to Price's interviewees who willingly work 50+ hours a week for jobs that hate them and are destroying their minds and bodies, but I still struggle to escape the perpetual sensation that a moment at rest is a moment wasted. It probably didn't help that I was reading this book while on vacation at my mother's, where I visited the beach almost daily and was so work-averse that we didn't even bother going grocery shopping because I didn't want to cook. and yet, despite getting dummy chill in some aspects of my life, I am still constantly possessed by a malevolent ghost insisting that I'm wasting my time and have never actually done Enough. maybe Price's next book, Unlearning Shame, will finally fix me; it's out in four days and god knows I'll be getting my hands on it as soon as humanly possible.

Patternmaster (Octavia E. Butler, 1976) - y'all know I love a messy political fantasy, and this is just... god, the absolute messiest. I thought Mind of My Mind was bad, but it turns out Mary's descendants are going to full-on reinvent feudalism with psychic powers, treating non-psychics as chattel and causing technological advancement to regress since they refuse to handle their problems with anything but psychic powers. and it's even got two brothers duking it out for the throne that will give them power over every bitchy psychic on earth! you love to see it. if I can be 100% honest I do think it's straight up bananagrams that this was the first book released in the series even though it's chronologically last; I genuinely cannot imagine caring enough to figure out what the fuck these people were talking about if I didn't have the previous four books for context. and even "context" may be generous; Octavia still has absolutely 0 interest in explaining what's up with the fucking outer space werewolves who are the psychics' #1 enemy. if I could have brunch with any person living or dead I would summon Butler up in a heartbeat to explain what the fuck her thought process was in plotting out this series over some mimosas, and I would take extensive notes on every word she said. an absolute genius and the uncontested queen of freak shit forever.

Thirsty Mermaids (Kat Leyh, 2021) - I purchased this graphic novel in November 2023 at a conference where I bumped into Queer Comics Peddler, my very favorite queer midwestern pop-up. running into them is always a delight, and this time I came with a question: could they give me a recommendation? the very nice people working offered up Thirsty Mermaids, which was the PERFECT companion for a long airplane ride. it's cute without being overly sappy, and avoids the trap of sacrificing a plot for the sake of checking off as many representation boxes as possible. the story is simple: three mermaids use a spell to turn into humans and go ashore in search of booze, only to realize in the morning that they don't know how to turn back. taken in by a generous bartender, they're faced with the reality of having to make money for the first time in their lives. hijinks ensue, but also a very sweet and warmhearted story about the friends looking out for one another as they try to figure out exactly where they belong and what home even means. also the artwork is GORGEOUS, with the mermaids' extremely memorable character designs being a real standout. if you're a graphic novel enthusiast, definitely check this out 🧜‍♀️

Sugar, Baby (Celine Saintclare, 2023) - Sugar, Baby came to me in a very similar way as Thirsty Mermaids: while visiting a witchy little bookstore that I was immediately charmed by, I asked the cashier what they would recommend. they offered up Maeve Fly (fab) and this novel, a stack of which was on the counter advertising an upcoming event with the author. neither have disappointed, so shout out to that one employee with the great taste! Sugar, Baby sees a young cleaner named Agnes, one of the only biracial women in her unnamed English town, befriending the daughter of a wealthy client and getting whisked away to her new friend's London lifestyle: crashing in an apartment with fellow models, staying out all night to party, and making money by going on dates with extravagantly wealthy older men. Agnes starts out having a swell time, but the cracks pretty swiftly start to form as she realizes how much more dependent she is on these men than her wealthy new friends and she begins to wonder exactly how much she's willing to diminish herself to get the bag. it's not a perfect first novel but it is a compelling one, a perfect airplane page-turner that crashes from glitzy to ghoulish and back with breakneck speed.

The Gargoyle's Captive (Katee Robert, 2023) - my full review is over on patreon for my darling supporters who want me dead (and picked this book in the first place, damn them to hell), but suffice to say this is a fun book to read if you like the sensation of your brain melting out of your nose, if you're really turned on by baby's first bdsm, you are not particularly concerned with trifling matters like "plot coherence" or "character motivation" or "writing that is complex and artful," and/or you've ever wanted to have sex with a dude whose penis is so big that you feel genuinely fear. also, hey, I forgot to include this in my patreon write-up so fuck it: Robert REFUSES to tell us what kind of food the protagonists are eating, ever. whenever they have a meal it's just "the food was placed on the table" "I took a bite" etc. drop me a HINT, man, come on! is it a protein? grain? starches? the only thing I know for sure that they're consuming is wine and a single marshmallow, and god does it show. it's just a very weird and distracting omission and it's absolutely not the worst thing about this book but it is a hill I'm willing to die complaining on.

[drpoisonoaky]

A good psychologist is hard to find especially when you’re a bat-something. So go to Ivy’s house and pay a visit to the best therapist in Gotham: Harley Quinn

---------[Barbara Gordon]

Harley: Hey Babs.

Babs: Hi.

Harley: You’re are late but damn you look happy.

Babs: Guess therapy is really working.

Harley: Mmm.

Babs: Truly.

Harley: I know I’m good but I’m not that good.

Babs: Harley I don’t know what you are assuming.

Harley: I’m not gonna make you talk if you don’t wanna. But I know why somebody got that smile, you know when me and Ives started to you know I worn the brightest smile that any person coul-

Babs: You know Dick and I aren’t together anymore, right?

Harley: Oh I know, he’s in that weird fase of “all of the redheads are evil” so I connected the dots.

Harley: Now he gets exposure therapy every time Pam opens the door.

Harley: But I had a question though.

Babs: What?

Harley: When you have to go to National city do you call her and she fly you or do you go like a regular person. Cause lemme tell ya Ivy loves the first one sooo much not cause is gayer, which I think gives it extra points, but cause is much better for the environment than plains or cars. Well assuming she doesn’t pollute the air cause we nev-

Babs: I don’t know what you are talking about and I’m here for therapy so…

Harley: I see…

Harley: What time is it? Omg I have to water Ivy’s tomatoes and feed the babies.

Harley: I think we should do your session tomorrow or maybe next week cause you know information is really important and it looks like you don’t wanna talk…

Babs: Are you really postponing my therapy session if I don’t tell you about my love life right now?

Harley: Your neck is cover in hickeys, the rogues are literally shitting their pants cause the super blonde is here and I won’t be able to focus if I don’t know the whole story.

Babs [face completely red]:

Harley: Pretty please?

Babs:

Harley:

Ivy [from other room]: Oh c’mon we want to know don’t be a prick.

Ivy: Especially how you go to National city.

---------[Kara Zor-El Danvers]

Kara: Hi?

Ivy: Shit shit shit I promise that thing with superman only happen once. I was young, I was lost, I have power and you know difficult times.

Kara: Is Harley Quinn here?

Ivy: Oh…she’s good now, I promise. Take me instead I’m more evil yesterday I punched an-

Kara: Oh nonono I’m not here as a hero. I’m here for therapy.

Ivy: Oh thank god.

Harley [who has just enter the room]: RED WHO’S THERE I HAVE MY BAT AND A FICUS!

Kara: Oh hey!

Harley: HOLY MOLLY GUACAMOLLY the super blondie.

Kara: I was talking with batgirl the other day and she talked a lot about how you are helping her. So I thought why don’t you tried what’s the worst could happen.

Harley: I- YES YES YES OF COURSE.

Harley: Wait so Babs thinks I’m good?

Kara: DO YOU KNOW HER REAL IDENTITY?!

Harley: I mean yeah, but I don’t need to know yours no biggie.

Harley: also I assume you know hers cause you and her [lace her finger(same way babs did with her to hint that her and ivy are roommates)] just you know wink wink.

Ivy: Do you just said wink wink instead of saying it?

Harley: It’s more organic.

Kara: Oh well yes and yes she is… awesome.

Harley: So no worries blondie and come here it’s therapy time.

[twocolorz]

Mr.Freeze Headcannons + Batman Au?

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This took me nearly an hour to write.

He's most definitely trans, him and nora are t4t cuz ofc. He also does the Mr instead of Dr cuz of it.

He and nora wanted to start a family of their own, they had a whole room nearly done painted until the surrogate backed out at maybe 7-8 months because they changed their mind. They had a whole list of cute names: Gunther, Ludwig, Lisle, etc. There was most definitely hand-made toys for the baby too.

He knew some rouges before his incident, those being Harvey Dent, and Pamela Isley. He still talks to them every now and then.

Since Nora's sickness victor has became more malnourished, barley eating, showering, etc...he locks himself away while trying to find the cure, he also has a small territory near the docks of gothem. He has gaurds at the territory boarders and some animals now live there to escape the harsh city he doesn't mind much with the animals, but humans he'll shoo away- if they're homeless he will make sure they'll have a escort to the nearest homeless shelter, he isn't that heartless towards the helpless.

He has two rooms for guest that provide warmth and some snacks.

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Harvey unfortunately being unpredictable when picking the phone up- shouting and immediately threatening before realizing it's victor than he'll be like:

HD (Harv): "Oh! Hey victor how's you doin?, how's nora by the way?"

VF: "...She's..doing fine, I suppose...her condition has slowed down very fortunately,"

Harvey is also inlove with edward and victor, he's most definitely Bi and Poly. Though he knows he could never be with victor for obvious reasons. Harvey and Edward are a duo, just doing random shit cuz they feel like it. If they wanna be fruity and steal luxurious cars? They're gonna do that. They also act fruity with one another, though edward himself doesn't think much behind the flirting, as he sees if as a platonic and mutual thing they have...but Harvey thinks otherwise :[

Harvey is afraid of acting on feeling while Harv isn't since most of his actions are from impulse. The two go by They/Them or He/She btw ^^ (I haven't decided on their pronouns exactly yet ;-;)

He misses his old life sometimes, where it was just him, Bruce and Gilda. He misses them both very much, Gilda moved somewhere out of gothem but Bruce's still visits him and makes time for both Harvey and Harv.

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Than there's Ivy always talking with victor, when she has time of course just checking to make sure he's okay, victor has developed an eating disorder since Nora's sickness. She also had a huge crush on nora at one point, no questions. She's dating harley though, and they go on crime spree honeymoons btw.

She often resides in the abandoned and overgrowth in a small part of gothem a few houese near the park. She welcomes and allows the homeless to stay as long as they don't harm the plant life there and stay away from her and her hideout.

She will immediately take out any species in her park that she sees as invasive and a danger to the wildlife there.

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That's all I got for now