#gordon does not find it funny

[moonkit60633]

Edward the Blue engine and Gordon the Big Engine! Get shoved into StEx

I do have a small storyline with the engines I’ve shoved into StEx but this isn’t a scene,

[someonewhoroleplays]

My Girlfriend came up with this one xD The whole idea was hers, I just did the art x3

[bluejaysgonerogue]

batkids using this while on patrol and as civilians

@frownyalfred enjoy

Actually my favorite replacement for both 'kill myself' jokes and jokes about reacting violently to things/people that upset me is "I'm going to end up on the news" like it's versatile, it's vague, it's not going to get me in trouble with any censors or websites that take joke threats seriously, it's family friendly while still getting the point across, what's not to love???

[lacrimosathedark]

Bat-Family Nicknames and Insults

So I went off the other day because fans keep having people who aren't Roy Harper call Jason Todd "Jaybird" and now I'm thinking about all the other nickname misconceptions so here's a probably non-comprehensive list of nicknames among the Bat Fam.

(Special thanks to @sohotthateveryonedied for a bunch of my data, she made a whole powerpoint with actual comic panels! Go check that out! Also got some info from @kiragecko who was writing some lists with more specific references.)

This list is an active document and will be edited in the event I find more nicknames or have more to say

Addendum note: I'm more than willing to add something I forgot, but you must have receipts. I'm not just going off of memory. Nothing will be added to this list without proof. If you don't have a source, please don't make a suggestion.

This is aside from assorted common insults and nicknames like jerk, ass, shorty, dude, idiot, etc.. Sidenote, every not-Steph Robin has been called “Little Bird”, “Birdboy” and/or “Wonder Boy” at some point. It’s kinda part of the job lol Secondary side-note, the only ones who REALLY use nicknames for people are Barbara and Jason. And Tim specifically in reference to Damian. Everyone else pretty much uses their names 98% of the time. Final note (sorryyyyyy) generally unless they're funny to me, I'm not including things used only once unless I have gotten vibes that it's a trend. This is an attempt to compile recurring nicknames. So ones noted to be used once are either I can only confirm it happened once but could happen multiple times, or I think it's hilarious.

Alfred Pennyworth

Al/Alf Seems to be a common nickname among the boys.

Alfie Dick, Tim, and Jason have all called him this.

Alfredo Jason called him this at least once and I think that’s funny. Not sure it’s exclusive though.

Mom Dick seems to have referred to him as such once…I’m sorry but that’s so funny.

Alfred also has specific ways of referring to everyone: Bruce: Master Bruce, Mister Wayne, Lad, Bruce, My Son Barbara: Mistress Barbara, Miss Barbara, Miss Gordon, Miss Oracle Dick: Master Dick, Master Richard, Master Grayson, Dear Boy, Young Sir, Young Man, Richard, Dick Cassandra: Miss Cassandra, Young Cassandra, My Dear Jason: Master Jason, Young Sir, Lad, Jason Tim: Master Tim, Master Timothy, Young Master Tim, Lad, Young Sir, Young Man, Timothy, Tim Damian: Master Damian, Young Master Damian, Young Sir, Young Man, Son, Damian

Bruce Wayne

Spooky Oliver Queen calls him this, others might as well but I legitimately have no idea.

Batsy Everyone and their goddamn dog, but Joker uses this notably a lot.

Detective RA'S AL GHUL EXCLUSIVE. I think? But this is how Ra's generally refers to Bruce.

B-Man HARLEY QUINN EXCLUSIVE...I think. She calls him this a lot though.

While Dick and Jason will internally think of Bruce as their father, Dick rarely says so and extremely rarely calls him “Dad”. Jason would only say so mockingly or under pain of a second death. Tim rarely even thinks of Bruce as his father (he didn’t become Robin to be Bruce’s kid, and he doesn’t want to replace his own father—much the same way Dana didn’t replace Janet) and never refers to him as such outside of WE work (where he very much uses that to his advantage). Damian almost exclusively refers to Bruce as “Father” but has called him "Dad". Steph sometimes calls him “Boss”. Everyone usually calls him "Bruce".

He refers to ALL of the boys as “chum” and “lad” at some point. It’s just how he used to talk honestly. He DOES NOT call them “sweetie” or “honey” or anything like that. He DOES, however, speak to small children this way. There are multiple instances of him using "sweetheart" and similar terms when dealing with young children. This differentiation I think is for two reasons. One, Bruce is emotionally stunted and being open with anyone outside of actively comforting is difficult for him, and two, the youngest child he has ever had himself was 9 years old so he's never had a small child he'd be likely more inclined to be extra super soft with.

Barbara Gordon

Babs Most people call her this. Bruce doesn’t seem to though, oddly enough.

Babsy/Babsie Both Dick and Jim Gordon have called her this. Very cute.

Barb/Barbie Nearly exclusive to Jason Todd, actually. I think her dad calls her this once in a while, but specifically Jason calls her this.

Babes A few of her friends call her this, but mostly Luke Fox when they were dating.

Red A few people call her this, but mostly Jason and not real often. Probably cuz we already have a red-head often referred to as “Red” (Pam Isely by Harley) and as to not be confused with the other two Reds in the family (Red Hood and Red Robin).

The High Priestess of Tech More of a reference than a nickname, but I think it’s funny. Dick referred to her as such.

O For Oracle!

Dick Grayson Exclusives because Boyfriend Baby Love Beautiful

Richard Grayson

Dick Everyone calls him this. Almost no one calls him Richard.

Dickie His parents also called him this, along with other people who knew him from Haly’s Circus, but otherwise it’s mostly just Jason.

Dickster I…hate that this is canon lmao. Dick has thought this one in his inner monologue, but Jason has also said it at least once. It’s…Something.

Circus Boy Common insult, Jason uses it a few times.

Tight Ass No comment.

Rob Kinda rare for him and more a Tim thing, but his Titans team call him this sometimes. I specifically remember Wally doing so, and Roy too I think.

Boy Wonderful Not marking this as exclusive because Babs probably used it at one point but, shockingly (or not) this comes from Wally West! Wally has also called his Titans team as a group “Dear Hearts” at least once which is just so fucking cute. Neeeeeerd.

Kid Not exclusive to him, but consistently called this by Slade Wilson/Deathstroke over most anything else.

Marcia TIM DRAKE EXCLUSIVE. A joke between him and Tim, assigning each Bat-boy a Brady Bunch member.

Little Robin MARY GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. This is where the hero name Robin came from; Dick’s mom used to call him this.

Dickie-Bird JASON TODD EXCLUSIVE. Jason calls Dick this a lot during his weird appearances in Nightwing that I pretend never happened because it was weird and dumb. But it is a canonical nickname. And it’s funny.

Amy Rohrbach Exclusives because Partner Rookie Stud Cowboy Sherlock Mr. Confident

Barbara Gordon Exclusives because Girlfriend (and because she’s funny) Flatterer Boyfriend The Brightest, Sweetest, Most Handsome, Wealthiest Young Bachelor on the Entire East Coast Buckaroo Bucko Candy-Gram Darling Lover Love Hunk Wonder Man Wonder Hound Wonder Former Teen Wonder Twenty Something Wonder Blue Wonder Poor Lovable Naïve Dope Pixie Boots

Cassandra Cain

Cass Pretty much everyone calls her this.

Cassie Some people call her this, specifically the people closest to her; Stephanie, Tim, Barbara, Bruce, and Duke. It’s generally used sparingly, especially considering Tim is close to ANOTHER Cassandra who goes by “Cassie” almost exclusively, so Cass is generally preferred to avoid confusion. But Cassie is tossed around.

Batghoul Possibly Stephanie Brown exclusive, though easy enough that I wouldn’t be surprised if others called her that. She is notoriously spooky.

Bat-Babe KON-EL/CONNER KENT EXCLUSIVE. These two are actually good friends and dated for a short time. They’re very cute. And they met at the time Kon was just…Like That.

Jason Todd

Jay Literally everyone calls him this sometimes. It’s a common nickname.

Jace/Jase Also pretty common, but seems to mostly be among family. Dick and Bruce have at least both called him this.

The Toddster Was called such by Danny Chase, implying they were friends somehow? (Jason didn't have many Titans missions so idk how they were close enough for him to call him that). He calls him that when he discovers Jason’s status in the system is “unknown”, leading him to find out he’s dead.

Rojo Referred to himself as this once while he was still a crime boss, so presumably some of his gang called him this too. Obviously Spanish for red because Red Hood.

Little Bird Possibly exclusive to Barbara Gordon, she called him this in a flashback.

Jan That Dick and Tim Brady Bunch joke. Just imagine one of them looking Jason dead in the eye and saying “Sure, Jan.”

Little Wing DICK GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. Called Robin Jason this in Nightwing Year 1 and it’s very cute.

Jaybird ROY HARPER EXCLUSIVE. The reason I’m making this post because no one seems to remember that Roy and only Roy has ever called Jason this. But any time these two appear together, it’s usually said at least once.

Stephanie Brown

Steph Pretty much everyone calls her this at one point.

Stephie A few people if I recall, but I know Tim’s called her that.

Blondie Pretty sure a few people call her this, but notably Harper Row.

Damian Wayne Exclusives because He Was A Brat Wench Fatgirl Girl Blunder

Timothy Drake

Tim Everyone to the point where it’s just his name.

Timmy A lot of people call him this pretty teasingly. Dick, Jason, and Babs do it consistently, but that’s older siblings for ya. Bernard has done it too.

Timbo Dick and Jason as well as his friend Ives have called Tim this at the very least. Tim notably doesn't seem to like it, though he has used it himself in a derogatory way in his inner monologue.

Timbers I’ve only ever seen Jason call him this, but I could be missing things. Would not be surprised if Dick did too, but it’s very Jason.

Rob Most of Young Justice called him that up until he revealed his name (which took a while because Bruce was being controlling and overprotective, as he does). Short for “Robin”, obviously, which is all they knew him as.

My Robin I’m pretty sure each member of Young Justice has said this about Tim, though Conner does it the most and has the biggest negative reaction to literally anyone but Tim being Robin.

Cindy DICK GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. It’s that Brady Bunch joke again!

Little Brother DICK GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. I didn't originally include it because it had the same vibes as like "dude" or "jerk"; something that's easily tossed around, y'know? And it feels like a descriptor, but it is actually used as a title/nickname several times, especially when Dick is messing with Tim.

Pretender JASON TODD EXCLUSIVE. Though it should be noted, he only directly called him this one time. Aside from that, he more refers to Tim as A pretender, not as like a nickname or title. It’s a description. (like “replacement” was but fandom made that a nickname yes I am in fact bitter)

Duckboy HARLEY QUINN EXCLUSIVE. She says this once, but it’s hilarious so I’m keeping it.

Detective RA’S AL GHUL EXCLUSIVE. Ra’s is very particular about titles. The only other person he refers to as “Detective” is Bruce, and Dick one time in his internal monologue, so he is acknowledging Tim’s competence. And then proceeds to get a large portion of his resources obliterated by Tim <3

Stephanie Brown Exclusives because Girlfriend Sweetie Muffin Boy Virgin

Duke Thomas

Narrows Almost Jason exclusively, though I think Harper has called him this once or twice. In reference to the neighborhood he grew up in, as opposed to Jason and Harper's Park Row aka Crime Alley upbringing.

Newbie Jason calls him this frequently, though it's likely the others have too.

Baby Bird ELAINE THOMAS EXCLUSIVE. Yeah, surprisingly Duke is actually called this by his mom.

Damian Wayne

Gremlin Mostly exclusive to Tim, but Jason has called him this too. This also seems to be Tim’s go-to for Damian when not using his name or codename.

Dami Used by Jon Kent and Talia al Ghul, so presumably those closest to him.

Little D I think Barbara Gordon exclusive but I’m not sure.

Cousin Oliver Not said to his face to my knowledge, but the Brady Bunch in-joke between Dick and Tim.

Prince/Your Highness (other royal variations) A common way to mock Damian for his haughty air and stuck-up attitude. More common in the past because Damian was The Worst and never shut up about being the heir to Batman and the Demon's Head. He's grown a lot since then and this kind of joke is used less. He is still pretty snooty though.

D JON KENT EXCLUSIVE. I have yet to see anyone else call him this at least, and this is how Jon almost always refers to him.

Baby Bird TALIA AL GHUL EXCLUSIVE. I’ve seen her call him this once, and I don’t recall ever seeing anyone else call him this. Just wanted it known that Talia is the only one to call Damian this.

Tim Drake Exclusives because Tim is Petty and Damian was a Brat Little Monster Hobbit Homunculus Little snot Spoiled, vicious and homicidal little punk Heir to the Kingdom of the Damned

Note on how Damian refers to others: Damian usually uses full first names or surnames, depending on circumstance and closeness. He occasionally calls Dick “Dick” or “Richard”, but often calls him “Grayson”. He almost always refers to Tim as “Drake”, but occasionally as “Timothy”.

Fanon names that I dislike

Replacement Jason never once calls Tim this, and refers to Tim as A replacement about as much as Dick did about Jason (Yes Dick has at least once when talking to Bruce referred to Jason as his replacement). How common it is in this fandom to call Tim "Replacement" (with a capital R like it's a name or title!!!) drives me absolutely insane. It's not canon and tbh you can do better. Hell, "pretender" is right there! And Jason's a nerd, he would do better.

Baby Bird Like…it’s cute, but given it’s used in fanon almost exclusively for Tim, and POST DAMIAN, it just feels infantalizing. Especially when the only canon uses are mothers towards their kids. I see this a lot with Dick and Jason using it, which is...just no. Like, Dick, I get it, but he's more likely to call Tim "Little Brother". Jason would never allow himself to be seen as this soft to Tim. If he were trying to be gentle with him, he'd probably call him "kid". He's done that before.

Baby Bat(s) I have seen this used literally twice. Once where a goon mockingly called Tim that, and once in an AU where Harley said it to Damian. "Baby Bat" isn't a thing. Sorry.

Big Bird More amusing than anything but a little annoying. No one ever calls Dick that in canon and whenever I read it all I can think of is Sesame Street so unless a giant yellow muppet bird is what you're going for, maybe don't do that lol

Demon Brat/Demon Spawn Not the most egregious thing, especially considering the numerous nicknames Tim comes up with, but the consistency of its usage in fanon is a little frustrating. This is never used in-canon, and if you want to use it in your fanworks, just maybe intersperse it with other more creative nicknames, yeah? It's just unoriginal at this point.

Jaylad I don’t hate this one, but it’s such a huge misconception that it’s canon. Bruce has said “Jay, lad” a couple times because he calls like every boy he meets “lad” and people made up “Jaylad”. Not the worst thing ever, but it's not canon.

Golden Boy I don't actually have a problem with this one, but I may as well clear up that this is canon as a descriptor but not as a nickname for Dick. Like calling Jason "the dead Robin". Like, people have said that about him in-canon, but they haven't called him that. The common derivative "Goldie" is entirely fanon.

Non-canon nicknames I think are funny

Dick-face/Dickhead I’m sorry, I find it hilarious whenever someone (usually Jason) in fanfic calls him this. It’s also to me just a silly exaggeration of the obvious joke that has been made at least once (but probably several times by now) in canon about someone being about to call Nightwing a dick and someone else reminding them not to use names in the field. I think it’s hilarious.

Timberly I can’t tell you why this specific deviation of Tim is funny to me but it is. And I'm surprised I haven't seen Jason call Tim this in canon.

[awhoreintheory]

Another idea with Peter in Gotham is his clones also ends up there as well.

In the comics Peter has two clones, three if you count the ultimate verse and the potential comedic value of Peter in Gotham and his clones also somehow ended up there as well??

Any batfam member: who were those three people you were with earlier?

Peter:... Those were my siblings, I'm a quadruplet

Dick who just found out Peter is his son: you're a what???

Idk I just think that scenario would be funny

Im challenging someone to find it, because I read ONE singular Peter in gotham fic with a similar idea, and I can't find it anywhere

That's how you know the ideas SLAPS.

Idc about the circumstances that leads Peter and his clones into Gotham, but pure crack ensues. How are you supposed to take anything seriously with 4 spider-man's flipping around, one of which is built like a brick shit house btw, causing mayhem, but also walking women to their cars? Stopping domestic disputes? Fixing a little kids broken school project?

It literally looks like a family of spiders is trying to make their home in a bats cave. It's funny, but also a little scary.

Now, Peter being Dick's son thrown into the mix? Chaos to the tenth degree. Maybe up until this point, spider-man hasn't been connected back to Peter, and they're also running around making different connections and working different jobs, so they're not seen in public together too often. Peter's working in the library with Barbara, who has already put together that this is Dick's God damn secret love child, right. Dick is slowly trying to ease himself into his kid's (his! His kid!) Life, slowly broach the topic of "hey... so, uh, have you ever thought about meeting your dad?"

Peter hums. "No, not really."

Dick winces, and Barbara offers a sympathetic pat when Peter looks away.

"Well, ok, a little awkward, but—"

The library door bursts open. A Peter lookalike comes in, holding a brown paper sack and a phone. "Can't believe you're somehow able to leave and forget your lunch and your phone. How have you even survived this long?"

"I haven't." Peter deadpans. They both laugh. Dick and Barbara's head swivel back and forth.

"And, uh, who is... this?" Barbara snaps out of her shock first. Peter's records didn't mention a sibling... then again, they were fake. Convincing fakes to the untrained eye, but nothing held up under The Barbara Gordon's scrutiny.

"My, uh, brother?" Peter raised an eyebrow, probably at his boss's weird reaction, and his boss's friend's horrified face.

But how could Dick not be horrified? The two teenagers in front of him were identical. Identical twins. He had two sons and he didn't even know about them. How does that not come up? No, no Dick should've done better research. Oh, god, he has twin sons.

"I didn't—" Dick's voice cracks embarrassingly. He clears his throat. "I didn't, uh, know you had a twin."

Peter's twin tilts his head, studying Dick.

"Actually, I'm a quadruplet!" Peter cheerfully rings, grinning ear to ear.

Dick's heart nearly gives out.

[galaxywarp]

pls for the love of god does anyone remember those funny as fuck ms paint traces of Gordon Ramsay. I saw them on here years ago and cannot for the life of me get a search engine to find them. It’s like him looking at some food close up and I think also one of him yelling at someone but like traced over and very funny. Please ,

[alahmorah]

Picturesque Pranks

A/N: I’m excited to be writing again and to share it with others. This was fun! I hope you enjoy it. I always love stories with plenty of fun dialogue, so I hope it reflects in my writing.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader, no y/n used

Warnings: 18+ only, Smut. No one’s read this but me, so mistakes may have been made lol. Praise and dirty talk.

Summary: Bucky and you are friends who enjoy pranking your fellow teammates, The Avengers. You’re stuck alone in a safe house after a mission and find yourselves in a predicament. Bucky is hot, as always. 

The small cabin you were achingly drudging towards was an old safehouse. The mission that just kicked your butt was over, and you and your teammate were supposed to be picked up here by the rest of your team. The only problem was that another mission had arisen, as they frequently do, and Tony had called to let you know there would be a slight delay. "It should just be a day or two, honestly. But, we've got a lead that we've got to take now, and..." he sounded rushed and admittedly apologetic. You kind of zoned out as he relayed the information on this lead -- something about a big-shot mobster with international clout making some sort of deal -- and you didn't care. You were tired and had walked miles through the woods after your getaway vehicle sputtered to a stop. Apparently, the hail of bullets that sprayed down upon you as you escaped had caused several important fluid leaks. You'd been looking forward to the ride back home on the Quinjet, but this cabin would have to do for now.

Your partner had been silent ever since you made your escape, only groaning when the car broke down. As soon as you entered, he muttered "Finally" and proceeded to guzzle three bottled waters from the stash left in the fridge. His metal hand crushed each one as he emptied it, tossing it into the small plastic basketball goal some goofball had hung above the trash can. The interior around you was so random and quaint. It was nothing like the sleek and technologically forward designs that you were used to, and none of the decor had Pepper's special touch. You were used to living with the Avengers, and this screamed cottage-chic. You supposed that it wasn't made to look like a hideout, so it made sense. You started checking out the ingredients in the pantry, deciding on making some quick and filling spaghetti. "How's Italian sound, Bucky?" You held up the jar of sauce and box of noodles you'd found.

"Honestly, that sounds perfect. Do you mind if I take a quick shower while you get it started? I promise to warm us up a can of green beans when I get out...might even consider adding some salt and pepper to 'em." He ripped off his mud-caked shirt while he asked, causing you to quickly avert your eyes from his strong torso. "Umm, okay Gordon Ramsey, don't show off too much. And, yes, please get out of those filthy clothes." You turned away from him to hide your blush as you realized what you'd said. He chuckled, "Yes ma'am" as he made his way to the small bathroom in the back of the house.

You hummed a tune as you filled up a pot with water and thought about the water that was making its way down the planes of Bucky's body right now. You dumped some back out into the sink as it overflowed, your thoughts keeping you from performing simple tasks. The noodles were done by the time he returned to the kitchen, and you heard him slowly walk up behind you as you were getting ready to drain them. "Here, doll, let me help. Oh, and don't you dare laugh. Just avert your eyes if you need to." He carefully grabbed the hot, heavy pot from your hands and proceeded to drain the water into the sink. You get a good look at him and let out an embarrassingly loud laugh, unable to catch your breath at the sight before you. Bucky just sets the pot down and does a little twirl as he rolls his eyes. "Ha, ha, ha. I know it's terribly funny, doll, but I swear this was the best of the four choices I was forced to make." Your eyes roam over his super-soldier body, which is currently adorned in a blue muumuu with a delicate yellow flower print. You finally catch your breath, "You've got to be kidding me. Why the hell would they stock a safe house with muumuus?"

He rolls his eyes, "I have a feeling this was all Stark. I doubt they're even on another mission, I think he's just fucking with us. I don't care at this point, I just want to eat and rest. I'll chew him out tomorrow."

Looking down at your dirty clothes, you realize there's no way you can sleep like this. "Ugh, I guess I have to accept my fate, too. Can you dump the sauce on the noodles and make your famous green beans while I clean off real quick? I'll just be a few minutes." 

"Yeah, go for it. There's not a washer, but I'll handwash our clothes after we eat so we can hang them to dry. I'm not giving anyone else a chance to see me in this." 

As he gets to work on finishing the meal, you head to the tiny bathroom. The heady aroma of Bucky's scent and soap washes over you, and you shiver under the hot stream. You swear he was going to drive you crazy. You and Bucky had a natural friendship from the start. He wasn't one to open up to new people easily, but something about your personalities just meshed. You often annoyed the team with your inside jokes and small pranks you'd pull on them. They were always harmless, just silly things like the time you replaced all of the spoons with gag spoons that had holes in them, or when you switched all of Tony's boxers with Natasha's lingerie...oh. Suddenly, your situation made a lot more sense. That happened months ago, and Tony laughed it off like it was nothing. Now you had to set some ground rules for the prank war that was sure to start. The first rule is to keep it at home.

You quickly finished cleaning up and wandered into the only bedroom in your towel. When you opened the closet door, you were confronted with three muumuus of varying colors. You grabbed one at random and went to the drawers to hopefully find some underwear. The first drawer was full of socks, so you checked the other three to find... more socks. There wasn't any underwear, and all of yours and Bucky's clothes were in the bathroom, which meant he didn't have anything on underneath either. Even the fact that he was in a muumuu did nothing to quell your body's response to that thought. You swiftly pulled the garment over your head, your stomach growling loudly as the scent of dinner made its way to you.

Bucky was sitting patiently at the table in front of two steaming plates of spaghetti and green beans when you entered, and he did nothing to hide his laughter at your appearance. "Thanks for dressing up for the occasion, doll." he smiles widely, spinning his fork in the spaghetti, and taking a big bite. "Mmm, to be honest, these things are comfortable. Maybe we can get the whole crew on board for Muumuu Spaghetti Mondays or something."

"Yeah, we can get a red, white, and blue one for Steve. I'm sure he'll go for it." As you imagine the formidable Avengers in muumuus, your shoulders shake with silent laughter. Bucky and you take a few moments to eat without filling the space with words.

The image of Tony flying around with a muumuu flapping wildly in the wind fills your mind, and you speak up, "By the way, I can't believe I forgot about what we did to Tony a few months back...of course this is all him."

"I was wondering how long it'd take you to remember. He's probably going to show up any minute so he can snap a picture and," Bucky's words stopped mid-sentence as the lights all went off suddenly, "speak of the devil." He quickly got up and went outside, looking for a sign of the man himself, while you picked up your plate and headed to the door, still shoveling spaghetti into your mouth. The night was exceptionally dark, as the moon and stars were covered by dense clouds. There was no sign of the Quinjet or a vehicle, and your eyes followed the dark shape of Bucky's figure as he searched the area. After a few minutes of quiet eating, you almost jumped as he rounded the corner of the house. "There's no sign of anyone. I checked the breaker, and it seems to just be a power outage." he huffed.

"Seems being the key word...I'm calling him." You carefully made your way back to the table to deposit your plate, quickly hitting Tony's name in your phone. He didn't answer but sent you a text a few seconds later.

Sry, busy. Surveillance. Sup?

                                                    Dude, the lights? Seriously? Stop fucking around.

Idk what you're talking bout. 

                                                    Electricity's out at the cabin. I know you're getting us back, we found the clothes. Game's over, Tony.

Look, I g2g. Sorry bout the electricity, but it wasn't me. I take responsibility for the clothes, though. Lol. 

                                                      You really on a mission?

I swear. I'm sorry, but we'll be there when we can. 

                                                        K, I'm trusting you.

Good. Have fun, and take a pic of Barnes for me. 

"You're not getting that picture, punk." You felt his warm breath on your neck, and goosebumps erupted over you. While texting Tony, you hadn't realized how close he had gotten. "Trust me, I wasn't about to obey him. Besides, we need to save the battery on our phones. We don't know when the power will be back on or when they'll be here to get us."

"Mmm...I guess so. Well, what now? I don't know about you, but I'm not exactly sleepy." You hear him shuffle about and rinse your plates in the sink.

"Well, it's too dark to read, we can't watch Netflix, can't play a board game. I guess we just have to entertain each other till we're ready for bed." you reach out for direction as you make your way to brush your teeth. The dark wasn't about to keep you from good dental hygiene. Thankfully, there were unopened toothbrushes and a tube of toothpaste in the cabinet that you both quickly used. He held your hand and led you through the unlit hallway to the bedroom, only letting go once you were sitting on the bed. "I'll be right back, doll...just gonna clean our clothes and hang them to dry."

You reached out, quickly grasping the metal of his arm. "I'll help," you started to stand when you felt both of his hands firmly on your shoulders.

"Hey, let me do this for us. Take some deep breaths and relax, I promise I'll be back soon, ya punk."

"Okay, okay. Thank you." You took his advice, though it didn't help you relax much. The sounds of him washing in the other room mixed with the consistent thump of your heartbeat in your ears. This symphony blended with the thoughts of sleeping next to him tonight and the worry about accidentally revealing your feelings in some way. You were wound up even tighter by the time he returned.

While the weather outside was calm and cool, the temperature inside the cabin was comfortable with a slight tinge of a chill in the air. You could feel Bucky's warmth as soon as he dipped onto the bed.

You picked up one of the smaller pillows from the mismatched selection and turned it over in your hands nervously. "Well, there's a fireplace in the living room that we can use if it gets any colder...we might want to see if we can find any candles around here tomorrow, too. If they haven't returned by then."

"While you're right, let's not think about tomorrow." He placed his hand on top of the pillow you were spinning. "Are you okay, doll? You seem a bit jittery."

"Yeah, sorry. The mission is still fresh in my mind, not to mention we don't know how long we're going to be here with no power. I guess it has made me a little anxious. I know everything's going to be fine." You shifted slightly closer to him. He was sitting near the end of the bed, facing you, and you were at the head of the bed. Your eyes had slowly adjusted to the inky blackness around you, and you could make out his shape. You wished you could view the details of his face right now and see the expressions that came across it. His body heat and your blush warmed your body as you felt him come closer, your crossed legs now touching his.

"Let's play a little game to relax your mind." His smooth voice dropped down to a husky tone. "What do ya say?"

"Okay, sure. Did you have something in mind?"

"How about word association? We can take turns saying a word or name, and the other person has to say the first thing that comes to mind. I used to play it with Steve. It's so simple, but it can help get emotions out and clear your head. Wanna try?"

"I'm down. Will you start?"

"Absolutely. Okay....Tony"

"Asshole!"

He laughed heartily. "See? That felt good right?"

You nodded into the void of the room, "Yeah, it did. Umm...blanket"

"Fort. I haven't made a blanket fort since I was a kid. Potato."

"Soup... sounds good. Hard"

"Wood. Lip"

"Stick. Blue"

"Balls." he said quickly. 

You laughed hard, trying to catch your breath and falling backwards onto the pillows. 

"Blue balls are no laughing matter, sweetheart." You could hear the smile in his voice as he tried to avoid laughing. 

"I mean, it's kind of funny that that's the first thing you thought of." You just knew he was rolling his eyes. "Okay, Buck, give me a word."

"Blow"

"Suck. Hand"

"Job." he let out a quiet laugh, "Sorry, but once a game starts getting dirty it's hard to steer it back to normal."

"S'okay, Buck, we're both adults here." You hated how breathy your voice sounded now. He was getting to you, as he always was. You suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to lean forward and kiss him, though you couldn't make out the expression on his face to help you judge the situation. The risk of losing Bucky as a close friend kept you from moving forward. You didn't want to push your romantic feelings on him, though you knew you couldn't keep them secret forever. You extended your legs beside him and reached out for his arm, needing something to anchor you in the midst of your storm of thoughts. Your fingers landed on cool metal. "Will you lay down with me? Please?"

His shadowed figure moved to your side and stretched out. "Sure. Ugh, this feels so much better. Alright, it's my turn still. Let's see, Steve."

"America." This drew a chuckle from him. "Whipped"

"Cream. Lap"

"Dance. I got a question for you, Buck. What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k?"

He paused a moment, trying to think of anything but the obvious. "I've got to be honest with you, doll. Fuck is the only word I can think of right now."

"Firetruck, Bucky! Your mind is so dirty."

"You got that right." He shifted his bare legs next to yours, causing warm, electric jolts to move up your leg to your center. "Well, doll, I'd tell you a joke about my penis, but it's too long." 

"Oh, yeah? Well, do you want to hear a joke about my vagina?"

"Sure."

"Nevermind, you'll never get it."

"Is that so?"

"Mmmm...possibly."

"Baby, are you a sea lion? Cause I see you lyin' in my bed."

As turned on as you undoubtedly were, Bucky still made you laugh uncontrollably. You both giggled, trying to release the tension that had been building up since the day you met.

You caught your breath just long enough to utter, "Is that muumuu from space? Because your ass is out of this world!" Another round of chuckles erupted, only to slowly come to a stop when you felt both his warm flesh and cool metal hands cup your cheeks.

"I love to hear you laugh, doll. There's no one else I'd rather be stuck with in a tiny cabin with only muumuus to wear." You nuzzled into his touch, brushing your lips against his palm. His breath hitched, and he retreated his flesh hand quickly. You were instantly worried that you'd taken it too far, and your mouth opened to apologize when you suddenly felt his soft lips upon yours. Bucky's hand crept up the back of your head into your hair, and you moaned into the gentle kiss. You could feel his smile as you vocalized your appreciation.

He pulled back slightly, and you could hear the smirk in his voice. "I take it that sound means this is okay with you, doll?"

"It's more than okay, Bucky." Your lips met his again, capturing his plump bottom lip between your own. The low hum of his groan ignited you both, and you both opened up, tasting each other. You were quickly drunk on Bucky; his smell, taste, and touch were all that you could focus on.

He shifted in the bed, making his way between your thighs, which spread open eagerly in anticipation of feeling him completely. "Baby, you've been driving me crazy since the day we met. Steve had to talk me out of pursuing you. He said the way I was eye-fucking you in front of our teammates was unprofessional."

"Steve said that?"

"In his own words," he let out a breathy sigh and rubbed his hard length against you, "you feel that, babe? That's what you do to me every day. Every time I watch you fight, when you stumble into the kitchen half-asleep in the mornings, or when you get mad at paperwork, it doesn't matter. I always want you, want to hold you, fuck you senseless."

"Please," you start pulling up on the flowing garment in the way of his gorgeous body, "please, let's get out of these."

"Mmm, I love how eager you are, baby." He pulled the clothing over his head in one swift motion, but stopped your hands as they pulled at your own fabric. His large hands engulfed yours, forcing you to slow your movement up your thighs.

"I can't do this if you're unsure in any way, doll. I want you for more than a night, more than a few months. This can only happen if you want to be mine as much as I want to be yours." He nuzzled his nose against yours, his mouth open so close to yours.

You tried to taste him again, but he moved just out of reach as he waited for your answer. "I've been yours, Bucky...always have been." He groaned into your mouth as your tongues met again, slowly savoring one another. He pulled the garment further up to your hips. His thumbs caressed your hips on either side before he moved them back to grab your ass. "Mmm, so soft."

You whined as he continued to slowly bring the fabric up your body, molding his hands to your sides as he went. He finally removed it, but just as you thought he would ravish you, he pulled himself back. Your collective pants of want filled the silence of the dark room. You heard him take a shaky breath as you felt his hands gently touch your cheeks, moving down your neck and the sides of your breasts before stroking your waist. The wait made your skin even more sensitive; trails of goosebumps were the evidence of his light touch. "God, I wish I could see you," he groaned.

Unable to help yourself any longer, you smoothed your palms down his chest and abs, feeling the softness of the steely muscle. You felt your heart skip a beat at the light gasps he let out as your hands explored him. As your touch traveled lower, he stopped your movement and leaned forward. "Please...everything in me wants to savor you first. You're making a mess of me, doll." His lips met yours again as he lowered himself, before kissing his way down your neck. Sharp bolts of pleasure shot through you with every touch, every kiss. He was igniting you in a way you've never felt, and the intensity you experienced with each pass of his lips was leaving you breathless. His hands molded over your breasts, and you once again relished the duality of cool and hot, soft and hard.

"You're so gorgeous and so, so responsive for me." He smoothed his fingers over your hard nipples, circling them gently and making you ache even more for him. The sensations jolted through your body, and you could feel yourself grow wetter with each caress. Bucky added his soft tongue to the mix, alternating between lapping at each peak and sucking lightly. As he made his way down achingly slowly, his teeth grazed your breast and sensitive stomach.

His warm breath set you on fire, and you were torn between pulling him up for more kisses and lifting your hips to align his mouth with your core.

You felt his lips on you first, softly kissing your clit. You let out a pleased, breathy moan as he eased into it, warming you up with gentle kisses and suction. Then, his tongue swept across your clit and you yelped at the pleasure.

He hummed deep in his throat, and you felt the vibrations from his mouth on you. "Ah, fuck," you uttered, unable to hold back all the sounds he was coaxing from you. Your hands released the sheets they were gripping beneath you to grab Bucky carefully by his hair. You accidentally tugged the strands once he started moving back and forth on the perfect spot, and he groaned in pleasure.

He grabbed your thighs rougher than before, and you could feel him grind against the bed as he tasted you. You felt yourself clench tighter.

The contrast of his hands on each of your thighs heightened the sensations of his tongue. You felt as though you would burst when he lifted his head to groan, "Mmm, I've been missing out."

"Bucky, I want you in me so bad" you gripped his strands again, eager for him to enter you.

"And I want you to come first, doll," he started thrusting his tongue into you, teasing you with what he knew you wanted.

"I'm, mmm, going to explode if you don't fuck me," you shook, feeling yourself losing control as he flattened his tongue against your clit.

"Fuck yes, please explode for me."

It was easy to comply with his command as he started to swirl his tongue on the perfect spot. You gasped, and he knew you were done for. "Mmmhmm," he vocalized deeply, urging you to release for him. He pressed two fingers inside, flexing them and massaging with a skilled rhythm as his colder fingers smoothed over your nipple. Your pleasure rose and burst, rumbling through your entirety.

"So delicious..." he nipped at your quivering thighs as you came down.

You caught your breath for a moment before moving to sit up. "Please, Bucky, please let me taste you."

He groaned deeply, almost growling. "If I let you do that now, I'm done for sweetheart. Another time, I promise."

"Let me ride you then? Fuck, I need you, I want to make you feel good."

"You're already making all my dreams come true, doll" he lays down and you quickly straddle him. He's so hard and hot against your cunt, and you can't help but slowly rub yourself up and down the underside of his length. You lean forward, suddenly desperate for his taste again. He's just as ready for the kiss, leaning up to catch your lips and tongue with his own. You lose yourself for a moment as you devour each other, before Bucky's whimper alerts you to his need.

You move your hips to catch the head of his thick cock and sink down gradually, allowing yourself to both adjust to his size and fully appreciate the moment.

"That's it...you're so perfect." He twitched inside you as you sat all the way down, stilling yourself for a moment once you fully engulfed him. You stay this way, feeling full, as his hands caress your hips. He drags them down your quivering thighs, which ignites you to lift up and slowly push back down. You can feel him trembling beneath you. It's as if you're both fighting the all-consuming passion you feel inside by keeping this leisurely pace, but you want to savor your first time together and remember every second. With each gentle drag of your hips, his groans become more drawn out and louder.

Bucky breaks first. "Fuck, I've got to..." he sits up and grabs you, flipping you around to the bottom. He's shaking with need as he grips your thighs and lifts your hips before entering you. You don't know how long you can handle this new angle, it's so good and hits everything inside of you just right. He leans forward enough that your clit slides against him with every thrust, which are steady and deep.

"You're going to make me come again" you breathe out, trying to not sound as desperate as you undoubtedly are. 

“That’s what I’m hoping for, doll.”

You grip his rocking hips with your thighs, trapping him against you. You’re so close and need to feel him as closely as possible while he fucks into you. 

“That’s so hot, baby” he whimpered, “squeezing me like that, fuck. I’ll stay here as long as you need, sugar.”

He leans down to nip at your ear, groaning  “I only want to here between your luscious thighs, baby. Need your cunt, yeah, need you like this all the time. So perfect for me…” Bucky's words turn into moans and whimpers mixed with your name.

You could feel him swelling inside you, his hips wildly thrusting now. Your own end was blossoming throughout your body, quickly building. “Cum inside me, Bucky, it’s safe. Please.”

His groans came out with every movement now, and the sound of Bucky coming undone made you get there first. Your thighs trembled against him as your orgasm took over your muscles, your eyes rolling back in pleasure. At the peak of your bright, spasming pleasure, you felt the heat of Bucky’s cum filling you. He looked euphoric as he gasped and fucked into you with a few more powerful strokes as you both let go of everything together. 

Bucky took a moment to catch his breath, then gently brought his face close to yours, kissing your lips and neck reverently. “You're finally all mine…needed you for so long…” He mumbles against your skin as he stays inside of you, your bodies still together. You spread your fingers over his beating heart and doze off happily.

You drift slowly out of a comfortable dream as the dance of light is perceived through your closed eyes. You feel so warm, so safe. As you shift, you feel Bucky move to pull you closer, and you smile.

It’s too cozy to get up or even to open your eyes, so you just nuzzle closer to him, feeling his bare skin against yours. He drags his fingers through your hair and you feel him sit up slightly. His touch moves down your neck and shoulders. “Fuck, you're gorgeous, baby. You open your eyes to meet his heated gaze as it drifts over your body. Something about the moment feels otherwordly, like you’re both still dreaming, but as you hear the quick turn of the door handle and the click of a camera, you both turn your eyes to see Tony himself.

“Oh shit…um, guys, hang back. DO NOT COME IN, I repeat, DO NOT COME IN!” He quickly backs away and runs outside as you hear the Quinjet landing. Bucky and you stay frozen for a minute as you hear him take off outside. 

Bucky takes a deep breath. “He doesn't even know what's coming to him, now. And don't worry, doll. Tony Stark's not going to get a free nude from either of us.” You give him a soft kiss as you both stand up to get ready for the ride home. “I can think of a few ways to get him back, Bucky. You?”

“Of course, doll. Let's discuss this in your room when we get back?”

“Can I use the whiteboard?”

He laughs as you pull on your clothing. “Yes. You could even make a PowerPoint if you want, baby.” 

“Thanks, Bucky. At least he didn’t get an embarrassing picture of us in muumuus….right?”

Bucky's eye roll that day was legendary.

Thanks so much for reading! 

[luveline]

eddie idea for shy friday! reader who is into the same music as eddie & has a similar aesthetic but not the confidence that is associated with it, and maybe eddie takes the initiative to interact with her because she’s nervous to do so? :)

thank you for your request! eddie x shy!fem!reader ♡

Some metalheads are super loud and some aren't. Eddie knows guys who've been in the scene longer than he's been alive who barely talk about it. He doesn't really need you to be loud about what you love to get the message. 

For starters, you look fucking sick. Your hair, the makeup, toned down but undeniably influenced by all the greats, Joan and Chrissie and Kim Gordon. You dress in simple stuff like he does, though you usually swap dark jeans for skirts with pretty, shiny studs and tights with ladders climbing your thighs. He's been meaning to try his luck with you for ages, but he hadn't wanted to do it while you were working —he has a funny feeling that behind the bar is the last place you want to be asked out. 

It's his good fortune that he finds you in a record store in Indianapolis. He does a double take, thinking he's seeing some other pretty girl in black. It wouldn't be uncommon here. 

But there you are, sorting through classic rock records with a darling mildness about you. Unhurried, always so quiet. He kind of really loves that about you, the delicate way you move and the unassuming curve of your lips. 

He decides to just go for it. In and out. 

"Hey," he says, trying to be a normal guy. It comes out a teeny tiny bit too loud. "Fancy seeing you here. Are you looking for something?" 

Eddie's no master in girls but he understands body language pretty well, and feels guilty at the shift of your legs, one thigh pressed to another as you lean back. 

"Hey," you say, "um, no, I'm just looking around." 

"That's a good one," he says, nodding at the vinyl between your fingers, Sad Wings of Destiny. "I love Judas Priest." 

You put the record down, and he worries for a split second that you're gonna bolt out the door, and he's acting like a creep, but you grab the zip on your jacket and pull it down to your navel. 

You're wearing a Judas Priest t-shirt with a rip just under the soft valley of your chest. "Me too… You're Eddie." 

"I am," he says, a little surprised that you know him, but trying to be suave. "I guess I'm at The Hideout too much if you know me before I've introduced myself." 

"I–" You clasp your hands together against your stomach. "I've wanted to talk to you, tell you that I like the band… you remind me of Judas Priest, actually. You know, 'cause you and your second guitarist, you're a twin assault." 

His jaw drops dramatically. "Are you flirting with me?" 

It's the worst thing he could've said. You swallow, and he's about to take it back, make a joke about his huge mouth, but you smile gently. 

"Maybe," you say. "Is that… okay?" 

"Girl like you?" Eddie gives you his smoothest smile, his eyes half-lidded as he looks down at you. "Beautiful, it's more than okay."

You bite your lip, turning your smile back to the bin of vinyls.

"Are you busy? Maybe you could help me find something specific?" he furthers. 

You don't look at him, but you nod. It's a great start. 

Eddie doesn't have a record in mind, so he names the most obscure one he can think of and feels it like a punch when your eyes light up in recognition. You find it quicker than he thinks you will, you know exactly where it'll be, and he scrambles to drag it out. He hasn't even started on what he wants to ask you, what you like doing outside of work, if you did your hair yourself, if you're free Friday night. 

"Uh," he says eloquently, "are you busy? You're a mastermind, and there's a couple of other LPs I wanna check out that I'm too dumb to find myself." 

And that's how Eddie spends 137 dollars in forty-five minutes. He learns your details through stacks and shelves, revelling in your shy answers, and how hard you laugh at his cheesy jokes. 

You wince as they ring him up in sympathy. He starts to regret his decisions, but you slow in front of the door and look at him through your lashes. 

"Did you wanna get coffee?" you ask. 

"Yes," he says immediately, his jaw aching in the effort it takes not to grin like a fool, until he remembers himself. "Or, I would. I don't think I can afford it." 

You smile gently. "My treat." 

He's so entranced, he forgets he's broke. 

[ladiestbug]

Diana Gordon’s life might as well have ended when that loser in the bathroom’s did. As she and her mother heal from their — Lawrence’s — Jigsaw attack, she can’t help but notice that daddy is gone even more than before. He starts coming home smelling like rot, like coins and decay rather than the flowery perfume of his coworkers that she’d grown so used to during her second bedtime, after Alison had put her down and her father had returned from his late shift to put her to sleep for real, she always was a daddy’s girl at heart. She complains about the smell, and Larry starts showering before he puts her to sleep but he doesn’t explain it, he gives her a hearty chuckle and a pat on her back and insists that getting old just makes you stinkier. Diana knows that her grandparents don’t stink like that, she knows her friends’ parents don’t, and she knows that whatever the smell is must be worse than Larry’s infidelity because this new rotten smell never, ever makes it back to mommy’s room.

Diana doesn’t mention it to Alison, she doesn’t mention it to the nice counselors and therapists that’ve become part of her life, most of the time she’s able to forget about the awful smell. When Alison and Lawrence sit her down to teach her the word “divorce”, Diana finds little time to worry about something so trivial as her dad stinking anymore. She moves into her grandmother’s house with Alison, they live out of a guest room and Diana sleeps funny because her mom starts working nights and grandma doesn’t quite know how to put her to sleep. By her 11th birthday, Diana and Alison live in their own place — it’s shitty, she knows it’s shitty because Alison says it every time Larry comes to get Diana for his week with her. “You’re a fucking oncologist and the mother of your child can barely afford her one bedroom rental, Lawrence, what kind of person does that make you!?” Is her favorite, Diana hears it weekly and mouths along with her mother’s crying, taps her feet along to the banging of her mother’s fists against her father’s car, then they’re driving away and Larry is apologizing, trying to explain how hard being an adult gets.

It’s living out of this shitty one bedroom rental where her mother sleeps on a pull out in the living room that she discovers — well, her friend discovers — a dead body. They love to play by the train tracks and this man must’ve loved to too but now two lower middle class white girls are picking flowers from their neighbor’s flower box and tossing them on him and saying a little prayer. Diana leaves quickly and says she’s grossed out and scared, in truth she’s just scared because that rotten smell is back, because that poor man who’s been sitting dead by the train tracks in the hot sun smells just like her daddy. She doesn’t want to return home, she wants to walk across town and pound on Lawrence’s door and make him explain but she can’t and he only dropped her off two days ago. She goes home anyway, her mom is asleep in the living room so she goes to her room quietly to cry while her anger simmers.

When Lawrence picks her up at the beginning of the next week, Diana isn’t sure how to express her feelings. She climbs into the back seat and sits there quietly, eyes burning into the back of Larry’s head as he tries to settle the tension between them. He’s bullshitting — his favorite thing to do, and a word she learned from her mother — about school and her friends when she decides to speak up, “I saw a dead body this week.��� She starts with, watching Larry’s eyebrows raise in the rear view mirror. “Did you?” He asks, his throat sounding a little dry, “how’re… how’s that making you feel?” He tries to mimic the same sweet tone that her therapists use when they ask about Zep. “It smelled like you.” Diana deadpans in response, Larry chuckles dryly and feigns offense until he realizes she isn’t being silly, not teasing. “When you work in a hospital-“ “I thought you just ran tests on people and gave them results.” Diana isn’t even sure it’s true, she can see how a cancer doctor would end up responsible for dead bodies but Larry’s face twists up and tells Diana everything she needs to know. “Dad.” She murmurs when he doesn’t say anything, her eyes are getting wet and her heart is pounding but Larry just turns the radio up and doesn’t look back at her again until they’re home.

[queermania]

I don't want to start drama and I don't expect you to respond to this but I think you deserve to know what's being said about you. tumblr. com/transfagbenny/738678589192552448/and-id-appreciate-if-we-stopped-using-the-terms

i actually am going to address this because this person has been lying about what's been going on for months and they've apparently been harassing other people for months if not years, so. it's time to put an end to this.

before i start though i want to make it abundantly clear that if you take this as an opportunity to do anything other than block this person, then you are trash. do not send him messages. do not tag him in things. do not harass him in any way. leave him alone. if you need to block, do so and then move on. hate mail and harassment is disgusting behavior and i don't want to be surrounded by anybody who engages in it. and if you do it on my behalf, i think you are worthless and i want nothing to do with you.

so, this is what happened: back in february of 2023, an anon asked me if i had any opinions that would get me canceled with the dean girlies. i replied, "oh now we’re talking!! hmmmm let’s see. i don’t care about benny at all. deanbenny does nothing for me. deanbenny is dust. it is dust. drowley rights forever" and i did not tag it because i'm not an asshole. bear then sent me a message that at the time i thought was funny/cute because his url reflected that he was obviously a huge benny fan. we had a very cordial exchange. everything was good. we chatted a little bit about how neat it would've been if benny had been played by a black actor and how the racism problem with gordon would've been fixed if gordon had been played by a white actor. not all of our conversation is visible anymore (and i also don't think all of it was on this post anyway) because i've since blocked him so his replies no longer show up on my posts. the point is: everything was fine. it was a good tumblr exchange. he continued to follow me. i did not follow him then or at any point.

the problem is that he kept coming onto my posts and into my inbox to try to make things about benny. that is not okay. i had already said that benny was a character (and deanbenny a ship) that i was not interested in. to me, this is an obvious boundary i've established that he repeatedly crossed. it's not an egregious violation, obviously. more than anything it's annoying. what he should've done, if benny was that important to him, was unfollow me and move on. but he didn't and i indulged him for awhile but at a certain point i thought, "okay maybe if i stop indulging him, he'll take the hint." so i stopped responding. he did not take the hint. he got worse and he even started commenting on things that he couldn't make about benny, just to willfully misinterpret things i said and taking them completely out of context. unfortunately, i don't have receipts for any of this because at the time i didn't know it was going to become an actual problem (however I have since learned that this is an established pattern of behavior he engages in, so you can probably find examples on other people's blogs).

it got so annoying, though, that i very carefully broached the subject in a private server with people i trusted. without naming any names or using any incriminating language (i.e. not specifically referencing benny), i basically said that there was someone being annoying about a specific character on my posts and i wasn't sure what to do about it. immediately, a handful of people replied with some variation of "the benny stan? he's been doing that to me too." i do have receipts of this (and an entire server to back me up) but i hope you can all understand why i'm not going to provide those or name names (or ask anyone to get involved publicly). the point is, it became apparent that i wasn't the only one and this was a pattern of behavior. i also learned during that conversation that bear has a history of harassing people and calling someone racist or a transphobe if they block him.

at that point, i decided not to rock the boat. i would just continue to ignore him and maybe he would get bored and move on. well that obviously didn't happen. he kept doing it and as a fun added bonus, he started to make vague posts about me. the thing is i don't actually care if he vagueblogs about me. it's his blog. he can do whatever he wants. it's none of my business. i mean i personally think he should've just unfollowed but, again, his blog, his choice. it is annoying that every single time he would do it, someone would send me a link or a screenshot of him doing it, but that's not really his fault. so, again, i just ignored it.

this is where we get to the incident in question. after a private discussion among a small group of friends, i posted this obviously joke poll at the insistence of @letterstothedevil, a tumblr user who has given me permission to include her in this.

the original message about the poll:

the permission:

now EYE think it's abundantly clear that the poll was a joke amongst friends, but maybe it wasn't, and i'm not going to fault anyone for not magically knowing that. i am, however, totally willing to fault someone for being a gigantic asshole. bear commented on the post and i, admittedly, gave a somewhat dismissive response because at that point i was so tired of him being willfully obtuse and twisting every little thing i said that i just didn't want to bother. he then went and made a series of not-at-all-vague posts calling me racist and claiming that i simply do not care about the racism in the show and it's obvious because i've never ever discussed it on my blog (which is a hilarious lie given that i'd specifically discussed it on my blog with him). at that point, there was no reason not to block him. he was already doing the thing that i didn't want to deal with. so i did. and i thought that would be the end of it.

again, i was wrong.

i then started to get anon messages daily about benny and deanbenny and how i'm racist for not liking benny, etc. this was harassment that EYE was on the receiving end of. nobody else was a victim of the messages i was being sent. they were sent to me and it is not my job to make sure other people are protected from the harassment that i am experiencing. i'm pointing this out for two reasons: 1. because i did try to protect bear from it for awhile anyway. i knew that people would assume it was him and at the time i was still giving him the benefit of the doubt, if for no other reason than the fact that i didn't think he could send me messages since i blocked him. and 2. because when i did finally start to respond to some of the messages, bear acted like he was somehow the victim in all of this (and continues to act that way to this day).

i don't know if bear had (or currently has) anything to do with any of the messages i get (which, thankfully, have slowed considerably). what i do know is that at no point during any of this happening did he stop looking at my blog and vagueblogging about me.

when i finally did answer a few of the messages, bear had a bit of a meltdown about it. i know this because he used a separate account that i hadn't know existed to message me and because he talked to one of my friends about it. (i'm not going to name that person but if they want to get involved publicly of their own accord, that's up to them lol). i'm also not going to share screenshots of what bear said to me because he explicitly asked me not to (it's also the reason i'm not sharing screenshots of the numerous receipts i have of the things he's said and lied about on his blog but, unless he's deleted any of them, you can go and find the posts yourselves.) what i am going to share is that in the message he sent to me, he flat out lied about his behavior. he told me he hadn't been vague-blogging about me, that he would never ever do that about anyone, and that he would certainly never harass someone (all things that i have receipts of him doing).

it took me awhile to respond to this message because i was still trying to be gracious about the whole situation. i recognize that he is much younger than i am and i think it's important for me, as a full blown adult, to take that into account. i had a private discussion with a few trusted friends about how to handle this because it was important to me to not let him off the hook for his behavior and for lying just because he's young. this is what i ended up saying:

his response was to double-down on his lies (while, hilariously, vague-blogging about me and the whole thing) and then go into victim mode about something so completely unrelated and far-fetched that i decided i simply wanted nothing to do with him ever. (this is when he asked me not to share screenshots, so i won't, but this is me saying that i have ALL of the receipts, bear, so if you continue to lie, you will not like what happens.) i blocked his alternate account and tried to ignore him.

the harassment continued. again, i have no idea if he was actually part of it. the vagueblogging continued. he started to do it to other people he associated with me. many of them blocked him because of his behavior. i continued to answer some of the hate i received, continued to ignore and/or block most of it. it got so bad that i was sent seizure bait on more than one occasion, one time bad enough that i actually ended up going to the ER. there are receipts of all of this, too. you can see on my blog the messages i've been sent. i think at one point i even shared a snapshot of what my inbox looked like. i've shared privately with friends (who can confirm if they want to, but no pressure) screenshots of the kinds of messages i get that i don't respond to. the point is, that for a period of months, i was relentlessly harassed. and at no point during this time did i say anything to or about bear (or anyone else). the most i've done is respond to messages that have been sent to me. i've largely sat quietly while this thing happened to me and bear continued to make posts about me and act like he is somehow a victim in this. he's assumed things about me and my identity. he's violated boundaries i've set. he will not let this go. and i'm not the only one he's doing it to.

i'm so fucking tired of it. leave me alone. leave my blog alone. leave my friends alone. leave any and all of the people who have blocked you for your own inappropriate and obnoxious behavior alone. that's it. that's the end. none of this would be happening if you would just respect other people's boundaries. i don't want you on my blog. i do not want to interact with you. i don't want anything to do with you. that's it. the end.

[arjudy224]

Three Times the Batfamily has been disgusted by your love life...

Dating is hard... but dating in Gotham... Oh Brother... Here are all the times the Batfamily has been involved in your love life.

1st time: Valentines Day

I've really gotta stop going for nerdy guys. This never ends the way I want it to.

"You know Eddie. You could have bought me dinner..." I call out to the rambling rogue behind me, "Scratch that... I can list off a hundred different date ideas.... That DO NOT INVOLVE THE BATMAN."

From behind, there is a swift crack followed by a muffled cry.

"I like flowers... I'm sure there was a way you could incorporate a riddle with those."

Footsteps draw nearer.

"I honestly don't even think you are trying. What does a child make, but never see? Come on dude... Work on on yourself. Restraints are fun, but this is ridiculous."

Suddenly, my restraints loosen. Stumbling to my feet, I swiftly turn around to see Batman's foreboding gaze staring down at me while my boyfriend lies face down 3 feet away.

"Are you alright?" Batman questions carefully noting my lacy heart pj's on top my push up bra. My diamond question mark necklace glitters in the darkness.

"Uh... yeah... Guess I should probably find an apartment where the Riddler doesn't live next door."

Batman sighs before patting me on the back. I am weirdly comforted by the paternal look in his eyes.

"That would be for the best."

2nd time:

Nightwing raises a pointed eyebrow before covering Robin’s eyes. Robin smacks his gloved hand away.

“Come on…. Y/N…” Nightwing trails off.

I interrupt him before this can get anymore humiliating. Being left to be eaten by a man sized Venus Flytrap after a date is not how I imagined my night to go.

“I do not need a life lesson; I have work tomorrow.”

Robin dutifully unties my restraints. He carefully looks anywhere else except my green lingerie.

Nightwing clears his throat. Rummaging through fallen leaves, he asks

“Do you know where she might have left your clothes?”

I shake my head before I start searching the drawers to the left of the nightstand. My sweaty palms create some difficulty turning the knobs.

“You know…” Nightwing continues leaning against the wall, “If you ever wanted to go on a date with someone who wasn’t going to be sent to Arkham… I’ve got this brother.”

My heart starts pounding. This is not happening. Robin’s jaw drops in disbelief.

“Are you seriously trying to set up Red Hood right now?” He gasps incredulously.

Both vigilantes listen to something being said into their ear pieces.

“Well, Jaybird. She’s prettier than anyone you’ve been talking to lately.”

My mouth gasps silently like a fish. Robin finally looks me up and down. He nods before agreeing. This child did not just....

Trying to ignore the hot waves of embarrassment, I finally force words to come out.

“GET OUT! I’ll find them myself!”

3rd time:

“Okay… but this time was not my fault.” I explain raising my hands in surrender. “How was I supposed to know that Two Face’s favorite song would be ‘22’? I have to make a living somehow!”

Batgirl tries to keep a straight face, but when she glances back at Red Robin… they both burst out laughing.

“I’m sorry….” She says trying to be professional, “This isn’t funny.”

“Uh huh…” I respond narrowing my eyes at them.

Realizing my mortification, their laughter slowly dies down. The teenage vigilantes grow as serious as possible.

“So, Two Face took you captive after you dedicated 22 by Taylor Swift to him?” Robin questions analyzing the crime boss’s office.

“Yes, I work at the iceberg lounge as a singer.”

“Where you ever an associate of Harvey Dent before his accident?”

My face goes red. This is not how I wanted today to go. I hate adding fuel to their fire.

“Something like that. I made some mistakes early in college.”

Batgirl bites her quivering lip to avoid laughing before composing herself. She checks her clip board left by Gordon.

“We’ll make sure GCPD gets back your… 2 themed underwear that went missing?”

I fantasize about those birds that slam their head underground to avoid conflict.

“I just want my computer. He can… keep the rest. I’m sure he’d like wearing it more than me.” I awkwardly trail off wrapping the robe tighter around my body.

Red Robin nods before muttering something into his ear piece.

“Okay, we’ll be on the search for that. I’m sure Red Hood can drop it off when he raids the lair tonight."

I start laughing before taking a step back. Putting my hands up, I interrupt.

“I can pick it up at Gordon’s office tomorrow. There’s… no need for… any of that.”

The two teens share a glance.

“Are you sure?” Batgirl inquires with a knowing smile in my direction.

I raise an eyebrow.

“Leave me out of this. I do not need to end up dead in crime alley because you guys thought it would be a good idea to set me up with your brother.”

Laughter can be heard in their comms. I vaguely make out “She’s got a point” in Nightwing’s voice.

With a reluctant grin, Batgirl shrugs. Before the vigilante duo leave, Red Robin flashes me an ornery grin.

“See you later.”

I respectfully flip them both off. Laughter echoes down the hallway as they leave.

[tagsecretsanta]

From @thundergirl007

From @thundergirl007 to @arwensarboretum

John and EOS

All 5 brothers spending quality time together (With John on Earth??).

I'm glad we're in this together" - said by any of the brothers.

Preferences: No shipping please. Rating: General Favourite character: John.

⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

It’s strange, the way the heartbeat of Thunderbird Five almost blends into the nothingness when the space monitor is here constantly. A tranquillity that very few people will ever get to experience in the huge, wide universe.

The pulsing of the life support system, the humming of the radio, the hissing of the lights when the motion sensors activate as he moves around the space station.

Loud in its own right, completely silent in the best way.

And yet, from all the way up here - the vastness and emptiness of orbit - he can still hear the sound of what he believes to be Gordon blaring out Christmas songs around the Tracy Island villa.

“GORDON!”

The voice shouted down the radio grills, catching him off guard somewhat. Presumably to try and find the mischievous redhead through every available IR channel on our communications network.

“Scott sounds in considerable distress, John.”

“That he does, EOS.”

Weightlessly floating his way to the central control room, where the main communication centre is, EOS has already pulled up what appears to be Scott's irritated figure on the hologram.

The image was a bit hard to make out specifically what it was, but it looked like Scott was covered in dust. A fine white dust that caked him, like he'd walked into the worlds oldest building and fell right into a pile of old rubble.

A strange image for someone currently on Tracy Island.

"Everything ok down there, Scott?" John asked, doing his very best to suppress the laugh, as juvenile as that would be. He looked ridiculous.

"Can you find me our blond haired mischief maker from up there, John? I've got a bone to pick with him." He ruffled his hair and the dust flew off him in all directions.

"Scott appears to be covered in some kind of fine substance. For what purpose is unclear."

EOS' summary of the situation was apt, and he hoped that Scott hadn't heard her, although it would have been funny if he had.

"Why, what has he done now?" he asked, watching Scott's communicator signal move around the villa from Thunderbird 1's hangar to the lounge.

"Do you want to take a wild guess, brother?"

"Re-enacted the bathroom escapade from when he was 7?"

"Close, but not quite."

Scott's hologram then disappeared from the monitor, but John could practically hear him storming around on the island looking for the brother in question. Whether Scott knew he was in the lounge, "innocently" reading a book, is debatable. Either way, he was making his way there with a ruthless determination that he did not want to miss a single moment of. Gordon was certainly going to be in some serious brotherly trouble.

Now would be a seriously bad time for a distress call.

"Oh Scott!" said brother - sat on the lounge with his feet up - all smiles, was holding a comic book in front of him, "to what do I owe the pleasure this time?"

"Don't you act like you don't know!" Scott roared from the stairs.

"I swear, I didn't do anything -!"

"You made me look like the Ghost of Christmas Past, you stupid -!"

"Is this a situation that popcorn would be for, John?"

"Oh, yes it is EOS."

Virgil Tracy was just passing through Thunderbird 2's hangar to get to the lounge when he heard the sound of the space elevator docking in its place and decided to take a minor detour to greet the arrival.

As expected, John was still in his IR gear, with only a small bag of belongings brought down with him, and Virgil would bet money that they were books and underwear.

"Welcome home, John!" he greeted, opening his arms out for an embrace that John welcomed.

"Good to see you too, Virg. How was the journey back from Colorado?"

Virgil patted a hand on his stomach lightly. "Long, I'm definitely ready for some lunch. Running around a power plant really did a number on my appetite."

The pair made their way up the stairs and into the villa proper. The heat hit Virgil like a train as they entered the lounge on their way to the kitchen. It was something all of them had to get used to when they moved out onto the other hemisphere from where they were born and raised in Kansas. The scorching heat in the December months was something he just about managed to get used to in recent years, mainly because it was something of a family tradition to watch Home Alone and the Chicago snowfall was such a nostalgic sight that for just those moments, they forget that snow here in the South Pacific isn't possible.

Even if snow isn't a part of recent Tracy family holiday festivities, the lounge was still warmly decorated with tinsel and a tree up by the piano that everyone had helped decorate. Even MAX had helped put up the tinsel with Brains (although the less said about the methods, the better). Gold and red and blue trimmed the balcony and handrails, little bells hung from the lampshades on the wall, and a little singing robin statuette was situated with pride of place on the little table in the centre of the room. The poor little thing was their mother's, it was old and battered, the little "branch" it perched on has been broken and fixed, and Brains had tinkered with its mechanics to make it sing sweetly again, not the distorted noise it used to make years ago.

And lastly, perfectly placed on the tree, hanging from a middle branch, was the last family photo taken at Christmastime that featured their mother.

It's been put on that tree every year since she died, and that tradition will never change. The seven of them, smiling at the camera with a snowman in the middle of the frame. Little Alan barely as tall as the thing they had made, holding onto his hat and giving a wide, toothy smile. He probably doesn't remember that Christmas.

“Where is everyone? The kitchen’s just as empty as the rest of the house.” Virgil mused, noting that it didn’t even look like the automated kitchen module had been switched on to make anything for lunch.

John just shrugged.

“Oh well. I’ll put something on, we need to have a good catch up now you’re back with us.”

Lunch wouldn’t take long to prepare, especially given that all Virgil really wanted was a sandwich, and John probably didn’t want much more than that either. He simply took his spot at the dinner table, the one he always used down here, with a more careful than usual descent into the seat. Virgil made the pair the same thing. Ham and cheddar sandwiches, which they were both eager to dig into once Virgil brought the plates over.

It was nice, just the two of them. Aside from rescues and the occasional private conversation through their comms channel, Virgil didn’t often have one-on-one chats with John. Mainly because they were birds of a feather, very much enjoying their own company before anything else. John listening for distress calls, reading, studying the stars. Virgil playing the piano or painting in the lounge.

“Do you know if my packages arrived?” John asked.

“I’m not sure, I didn’t see anything yesterday, and today I’ve been in Colorado.”

“That’s a shame. No one is getting presents this year then.”

“I think we can live with that just this once John, it’s just good to have you earthside for a few days.”

“We’ll see if I feel the same way after 24 hours in gravity with both Gordon and Alan.”

“You mean you won’t even stay for Grandma’s Christmas disaster – I mean, dinner?”

“I think I can hear a distress call from 24 hours in the future, Virgil get to Thunderbird 2 –“

The pair laughed, and almost on cue, the sound of distant voices, running footsteps, and a crash from somewhere upstairs. Getting closer and closer with every passing second, the voices soon distinguished themselves to be Alan, Gordon and Scott.

“Come here! I will have my vengeance!”

“Gotta catch up first, slowpoke!”

The trio pounded down the stairs. Scott, then Alan and Gordon.

Scott looked like he had barely enough time to turn the corner from the stairs before the Terrible Two were on his tail. Not nearly as covered in whatever-it-was-powder as he was before, presumably all the running had dusted him off somewhat.

Right behind him were said terrible two, and they seemed to have suffered a similar fate as the eldest brother. From the smell of them as they ran past, whatever it was, was sickly sweet. Powdered sugar, perhaps? Either way they left a trail of sugar in their wake.

Scott had run around the kitchen island, and Gordon and Alan waited for him at either side, pinning him to his spot with an almost military efficiency that even Scott should have seen coming.

Did Brains invent a de-aging machine or something, what is going on with Scott?  He’s not acted like this since those boys were tiny terrors.

“Hi John!” Alan turned around and cheerily waved, before giving his attention back to the eldest brother.

“Good to see you Alan,” John chuckled, “and you Gordon. Scott”

“Not now, it’s payback time.”

“You started this, Gordon! Don’t dish it if you can’t take it!”

Virgil should not have been surprised that Gordon took advantage of his and Scott’s absence from the island to play a practical joke with Scott for him to find on his return. What was surprising is that Scott somehow fell for it regardless.

Finishing up the last of his sandwich, John stood up, ignoring the war games going on elsewhere in the kitchen. “Well, this has been fun. I’ll go get changed, can’t be looking like this all day, I’ll melt.”

“I’ll wash up then,” Virgil started to get up too, picking up both John’s and his own plate. “John.”

“Yes?”

“I’m glad we could all be here together for the holidays. Even if it seems that the house will be dusted with sugar for days.”

Virgil side eyed the footprints and trails of sugar from the kitchen floor to the stairs and dreaded to think what it was like upstairs in the living quarters.

“Glad to be here. Just like old times.”

Gordon was the one to break the stalemate over there, and he positively lunged for the eldest brother. Alan was quick to join him, and the three were all on the kitchen floor in a tangled mess of a pile.

Just like old times indeed.

[sunhowler-art]

was inspired by this post to design some hlvrai warrior cats!! i'm honestly shocked it took me 2 years to make a warriors au for it, i love making warriors aus...

some basic info below the cut!

sooo my general idea (it's pretty hazy right now. forgive me) for this au is that songfoot (benrey), nectarbrook (darnold), goldenberry (tommy), galeheart (coomer), scorchtail (bubby), and snakestar (gman) are all from the same clan... i'm between plain ol' thunderclan or a custom clan called mesaclan. i'm probably gonna go with thunderclan because i don't wanna bother with making other clans and lore and stuff LOL. there's some kind of threat outside of the clans that's affecting the environment a la the beavers in arc 4. it's something that starclan definitely caused, whether deliberately or accidentally, i dunno. main point is that snakestar sends songfoot, nectarbrook, goldenberry, galeheart, and scorchtail off on a journey to track down the problem and take care of it. while they're gone, the external threat kills snakestar and he spends all his time being a textbook unhelpful and cryptic starclan cat who just kind of makes things worse. as per a snakestar prophecy, the gang picks up gordon along the way, a kittypet whose owners abandoned her and she's been mostly unsuccessfully fending for herself since. oh and frostpaw (forzen) is part of bloodclan. bloodclan tries and fails to kill the gang, despite frostpaw's best efforts (he kidnapped goldenberry's bird friend, sunny).

some lil character facts and such:

gordon is an ex kittypet. she had a very very cozy and spoiled life up until her twolegs got evicted or something and tossed her out onto the streets. she wasn't out there long before the clan cats found her, and thank god for that, because she sucks at being a survivalist. she is fairly smart though, bringing a fresh perspective and problem solving skills to the group. she is consistently freaked the fuck out by clan cat culture, and the clan cats have fun gaslighting her about it. the only cat who doesn't play along with that is goldenberry, mostly because he doesn't really think its that funny. gordon picks up survival skills from the clan cats fairly quickly, but they still call her soft all the time. classic clan cat anti-kittypet prejudice.

songfoot is the warrior code's biggest fan. not because he really fully believes in its utility, mostly because he loves bossing people around. you can find him stalking around thunderclan camp looking out for anyone doing minor infractions. god forbid you take too much fresh kill from the pile, you'll never hear the end of it. he can't really do much about it though, because snakestar finds him vaguely offputting. his signature stare doesn't help much. his fellow warriors generally like him despite all his strange quirks. songfoot has some kind of starclan-given power a la The Three... my thought is that his vocalizations have supernatural mind-altering properties. it's kinda like sweet voice, but a hiss can make others mad, a purr can make others calm, a screech can stun them, etc. without fail. he's vaguely aware of this power, and he doesn't really use it for things starclan would like him to. he kinda does his own thing.

he's a fairly competent hunter and fighter, but he's generally physically non-confrontational. during battle, he prefers to slink along in the shadows and wait to strike.

during the journey, he loves following gordon along. initially it's because of his deeply embedded distrust of kittypets, but he realizes pretty quickly that he's interested in her in a different sense, one that really frustrates and confuses him... a warrior shouldn't wanna be mates with a kittypet. that's so beyond wrong. he's gotta do everything he can to annoy gordon into leaving the group so he doesn't have to confront his feelings about her (one of these tactics involves him insisting on calling her "gordie," saying it sounds much more suitable for a kittypet). unfortunately for the both of them, that doesn't work. what's worse-- his powers don't seem to work on her for whatever reason. they continue to butt heads for far too long before either of them opens up about how they actually feel. (it takes gordon far longer to admit to herself that she's feeling that way than it does for songfoot, but eventually it clicks for her.)

("song" comes from sweet voice, and "foot" comes from... y'know. but i imagine the in-universe explanation is that he spends a lot of time padding around and watching people. the name from the post that inspired this one-- sweetsong-- is perfect but i didn't wanna copy it. i really like the name songfoot though, i think it's really cute.)

nectarbrook is thunderclan's beloved medicine cat. sweet and silly, she has an affinity for collecting and mixing herbs to create new tinctures. they don't always work exactly how she wants them to, but they never have strictly negative effects, so... not too bad! she spends most of her time on the journey trying and failing to be a mediator, and cowering in fear while everyone else does the scary (and often stupid) work. she's got an intelligence to rival gordon's, and she's one of the only cats gordon fully gets along with.

("nectar" is about the closest warrior cats prefix to "soda," and "brook" just kinda sounds nice as a suffix to nectar. it's another liquid-related word too.)

frostpaw is a bloodclan apprentice. he's well beyond apprentice age, but he's pretty incompetent at warrior duties and such, so it's taking him a while. he just wants to graduate.

i imagine he used to be a cushy kittypet with dreams of being one of those cool cat gang members he sees outside every now and again. he's way in over his head.

("frost" comes from forzen. obviously. i initially envisioned him as a warrior named frostjaw. i don't know why i chose that suffix other than it sounding nice. but then i remembered the "i just wanna graduate" thing, and thought it would be funny to make him an apprentice.)

goldenberry is a highly skilled warrior and one of snakestar's kits. he has a very unassuming demeanor, often appearing clumsy or head-in-the-clouds, but he's one of thunderclan's most precise and deadly fighters. his long windclan-like limbs allow for quick movement. like his father, he strikes like a snake. despite his prowess, he doesn't like fighting at all, and he would much rather hang around camp with his friend songfoot and take care of menial tasks like an apprentice or test out new herb tinctures for nectarbrook. he's very helpful and kind, if not a bit blunt. before snakestar died, he had goldenberry in mind as the next deputy as soon as galeheart finally kicked the bucket. he only didn't make him the deputy in the first place because he was an apprentice at the time.

("golden" comes from tommy's signature yellow, as well as his father's perception of him as highly important. "berry" comes from his general sillyness and his affinity for nectarbrook's various little treats.)

galeheart is a gregarious senior warrior and thunderclan's beloved deputy. despite his small stature, he's incredibly strong and overzealous. he loves his clan to death and he loves fighting even more, often dragging everyone into unnecessary squabbles just for the thrill of it. his loud, booming voice commands everyone's attention. he's quite old and really should be in the elders' den at this point, but his love for the warrior life keeps him going despite it all, and he's still in great shape. snakestar isn't quite so satisfied with galeheart's behavior, but there's not much he can do about that, given everyone else loves galeheart to bits. snakestar partially send him on that journey in hopes he would die already, but he has an unwavering spirit and he can and will outlive snakestar.

galeheart and gordon get along for the most part, but gordon is a little scared of him.

("gale" comes from coomer's general energy. he is a strong gust of wind to me. it also brings to mind the color white, which... is what galeheart is! "heart" also comes from his Vibes, mostly his fighting spirit.)

scorchtail is yet another old coot who should be getting ticks picked off of him by apprentices, but his stubbornness keeps him in his warrior position. he's not even particularly good at being a warrior-- he's cowardly and his battle strategy can best be described as the real life version of button-mashing. still, he's far too prideful to retire to the elders' den. he tends to follow galeheart around, since they grew up together and share similar positions in the clan. he's very antagonistic towards gordon, even moreso than songfoot. he has a special hatred of kittypets, seeing their lifestyle as an embarrassment.

("scorch" comes from bubby's association with fire as well as his sassy disposition, and "tail" comes from the tip of his tail looking burnt.)

snakestar is a starclan cat who was previously thunderclan's leader. he's generally cold and and analytical, and not much of a fighter, preferring to make others do his bidding. this behavior carried over very well to starclan, where he spends all his time being appropriately cryptic and unhelpful. he holds a lot of love for his one son, goldenberry, who he's always watching over. he doesn't care much for his other previous clanmates. he visits gordon in her dreams often to tell her vague things about her "part to play" and how important she is and all that. he arbitrarily decided that she was the subject of a prophecy, for the most part. i like to think starclan just makes shit up for fun. i think maybe one of his ancestors visited gordon when she was a kitten and made some kind of deal with her. i dunno. i'm in the very early stages of this au.

("snake" comes from gman's general vibes, but it's also an allusion to snakes in mythology [particularly abrahamic myth] being sleazy dealmakers with ill intent. before he was a leader, his suffix was "sight," alluding to his tendency to sit back and watch rather than run into battle.)

thanks for reading my long-ass ramblings, if you did! :-P idk if i'll actually do anything with any of this, but it's fun to think about...

[burnin0akleaves]

Here's the draw six fanarts meme I decided to participate in 4 years late

In true burnin0akleaves spirit I didn't ask anyone for requests and just went ahead with all of the characters that have been the most impactful/important to me, so there is a high chance you've seen me draw these guys before.

By the way, unlike the rest of the blorbos here Siyra is an original character and belongs to @nineteen-rats!

Close-ups and rambles under the cut because it's my blog

Ohh the Dark Urge. My latest obsession. I love his design so much, I'm a slut for white/red color schemes, but I feel like it's a double edged sword that takes you out of the horrors he's commiting at the same time?

Durge is supposed to be murder incarnate, someone that does every fucked up thing related to death imaginable; but when you see a giant lizard eating babies or humping corpses, it dulls the effect a bit since you automatically view it as an animalistic act. Dragonborns are obviously a fully sentient humanoid race in-universe; but when the violence you're seeing is already toeing the line between horrifying and hilarious, seeing a scalie doing it just pushes it over the line. I still think it works really well most of the time and I'm very glad that this is the default durge we get! It's just funny to me that when you choose to play as the giant lizard, the dark and disgusting horror story turns into the hilariously edgy bloodfest.

Reminding everyone again that Siyra belongs to @nineteen-rats! I love this man so so so much. I am the Siyra fandom. I am the number one Siyra fanartist. He did nothing wrong and I will defend his every decision. I also hope terrible horrors befall him and that his actions keep him awake for the rest of his life. Pookie bear xoxo

COMING IN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR IT'S WILL TREATY

He is on my mind, always. I don't talk about him as much but he's probably still the fictional character who had the most impact on me as a person.

PATROCLUS! PATROCLUS!!! SIR I'M YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN!!

I got into patrochilles and the Illiad in general thanks to "The Song of Achilles". It was one of the first queer books I got to have in real life and the prose captivated me instantly, I still have it on my shelf. After reading the Illiad itself however, I hate that book so much. I'm sorry it's genuinely beautiful and I get why people like it but I can never forgive that horrible Patroclus characterization after seeing what he was originally like. Achilles too for that matter.

Hades swooped me up into its arms like I was a sick baby bird and nursed me back to health with its portrayal of the two though and for that I am forever grateful. I can't wait for Hades 2, death to Chronos.

God Half-Life is such an important series for me. My dad would let me play through a few levels since I was a child, he grew up with the games, but I REALLY played through the entire series one summer shortly before dad moved out. He was there watching me play most of it and getting to enjoy someone actually translate the game's dialogue for him for the first time.

Gordon may not speak once but I like the hints of his personality we get throughout the games, most importantly from the way Alyx talks to/about him. I have my own characterization of him obviously but I do really think you can get a good understanding of the kind of man he is meant to be in-universe just by paying attention to his surroundings. Also another reason the games were so immersive for me is that I'm just as in love with Alyx as Gordon is. I must have let her get hit only once or twice the entire time just out of how protective I was over her. I'd topple the entire Combine empire just for her hand in marriage. I rewatched the ending of Half Life Alyx recently and cried.

I read the entirety of LOTR in one week in 11th grade, carrying that damn brick of a book everyday to school and back. I'm so glad I did honestly. Frodo and Sam are my important little guys and I find myself going back to them when I need something to calm me down in a way no other series except LOTR can. I've read most of Tolkien's work at this point, but nothing captivated me like those two little hobbits. Everytime I read a bad take about their relationship I sketch them making out.

People liked seeing my drawing process before so here's the original sketch and the little notes I wrote to myself trying to set the mood. I followed like half of them.

[motheroftheantichrist]

Theories that I don't actually believe, but have fun thinking about: Saw edition

Adam was the original Jigsaw apprentice.

While I know this isn't true, and don't actually believe Adam would even be a good apprentice, it's just funny to me how well it could actually fit into the bat shit crazy narrative of this franchise.

Consider...

John Kramer has just begun his work as Jigsaw. He's killed Cecil, and maybe a few others. Jill Tuck, concerned by his increasingly erratic behavior, hires a private investigator to tail her ex-husband and report back. Enter: Adam.

He trails John to his warehouse and either springs one of the traps and escapes, earning John's regard, or is caught by John and deemed useful for his particular skill set. Seth Baxter has just been killed and John needs someone to tail Hoffman, so Adam is recruited.

He finds most of the people in Logan's game, other than Logan, Anna, and Mitch, who John new personally. The others seem more like people that Adam would have found, or found out about given his line of work. He probably saw Carly steal the purse and inhaler and was able to track her down. I always thought that it was a stretch that John had happened to know about that, and managed to find her as well.

Adam is planted in the bathroom game because it requires two people, and to test Amanda. If you look carefully at John's reasons for testing Adam in Saw 1, they are pretty flimsy compared to Gordon's. He dislikes that Adam stalks people, even though that's what John does to grab victims as well as get a feel for Hoffman as a person, and claims he is passive in his own life, which may be true, but is a considerably weaker excuse than he usually uses when choosing test subjects. Not to mention the fact that Adam is never given any actual instructions. He was simply there to act as Amanda and Hoffman did in Saws II and IV.

The bullet that Lawrence had was a blank. It was enough to injure Adam, and would have been believable if Lawrence had decided to actually try to kill him, but he would have survived.

John can tell that Amanda is teetering on the edge over Adam's fate and has a feeling she is going to go back, so he puts Adam back in the bathroom, which is why he is still seemingly trapped there when she returns to "kill" him. This is then followed by the usual theories about the plastic not being held on for long enough, and the corpse being someone else's.

Adam was the one who switched the chain on the decoy corpses foot when he found out that John was going to leave a tape to lead Lawrence to the bathroom (maybe he's the one who convinced him to do it) with the hopes that Lawrence would realize he was still alive.

Thank you for coming to my insane and completely pointless TED Talk.

[mwolf0epsilon]

Fun Mimic Fact of the Day: Mimics are a lot more intelligent than most people give them credit. Especially the zoologists who are adamant on defending the specialised animal vs folklore beast theory.

Sure, there is an argument to be had that some species of primates, octopi, dolphins and parrots are good examples of animals displaying higher problem solving capabilities, as well as an awareness of language and cooperation within an established "society/social group". Giving some credence to the hypothesis.

But these examples still lack the refinement and sense of awareness that a mimic displays when comfortable among humans.

This is what convinces those who work with mimics more personally that they are, in fact, fae and not mere animals. Especially when working in railways that are in favour of conservation efforts (the NWR being a prime example), or within households that have had one vehicle mimic for generations.

People who have a lot of contact with mimics (especially older/elderly ones), will notice mannerisms and actions that surpass basic animal intellect or even acts of mimicry.

Here are a few examples:

Charlie Sand and Sidney Hever participate in a children's reading program at the library. They have both witnessed Edward (who they loan to the library in his smaller form so that children with learning disabilities and speech impediments have the opportunity to read to him) not only speaking in clear English, but also read paragraphs when the child that is meant to be reading to him can't seem to pronounce the words.

Sir Topham Hatt has watched Glynn work the kettle and prepare himself tea, as well as help himself to the radio when he's had to work from home.

The station-masters have noticed that, whenever they forget to feed the various cats that linger around the various stations around the island, someone comes in and does it for them (leaving behind a trail of opened cat food bags and cans). They can't be sure, but they have their suspicions that Gordon might be the one picking up their slack, because the cats all come to greet him when he comes by as if he were one of them.

The Duke and Duchess of Boxford once gave Spencer some old newspapers for him to entertain himself (thinking he'd just rip them up and roll around on the shredded paper) only to find someone had filled in all the crosswords and cut out sections of the funnies or interesting articles.

Hiro appears to know sign language. At the very least, he seems to use his paws to make very defined gestures when interacting with his crew. Whether or not this is a form of mimic dialect or Japanese sign language is currently unknown, since very few people on Sodor knows how to speak Japanese much less know JSL.

Mimics who participated in the war efforts both recognize and understand military slang and morse code. Flying Scotsman appears to be in the habit of using morse code to grumble about British Rail's incompetence, something which seems to amuse the occasional veteran that take his train to Vicarstown.