#for funnies of course
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batkids using this while on patrol and as civilians
@frownyalfred enjoy
Actually my favorite replacement for both 'kill myself' jokes and jokes about reacting violently to things/people that upset me is "I'm going to end up on the news" like it's versatile, it's vague, it's not going to get me in trouble with any censors or websites that take joke threats seriously, it's family friendly while still getting the point across, what's not to love???
#bruce finds new grey hairs every time#Grayson: I'm going to end up on the news#Proceeds to do the most out of pocket thing in view of multiple cameras as nightwing#I don't even know what they're so out there#Jason said it at family dinner once#they found black mask in the ICU the next hour#Tim said it then prank hacked the pentagon#for funnies of course#Stef says it all the time#she buys hundred of dollars of waffles and eats them while talking to journalists#"yeah these are amazing Sara. Here you go earl#Cass doesn't say it she just does things and never gets found out#Duke texted the group chat one day “I'm going to be on the news”#it was him taking a homeless person's cat out of the tree then taking them grocery shopping as signal#he used cash ofc dw#Alfred sent it when he got pulled over by GCPD (it was a new guy he didn't get it) and got arrested on camera for all his guns in the car.#Gordon had to issue a press release stating they were all registered and properly maintained and that Mr. Pennyworth was released under#no charges and the entire PD was sorry they interfered with him#Gordon made the newbie nearly piss himself the lecture he gave#guy was trembling so hard when he apologized personally to Mr. Wayne Mr Pennyworth and the Wayne Kids#lets just say Alfred didn't get pulled over again.
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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Failed phantom smooch ft. Letting the besties know
#ft. Danny’s shame corner#I think it would be really funny if the just both had. /realizations/. at the same time#lol#neither of them know how to kiss they’re all like. freshmen in highschool or something#Tucker and sam are supportive about the bisexuality of course#about dash however…#my art#art#artist on tumblr#digital art#fanart#danny phantom#danny fenton#sam manson#tucker foley#dash baxter#swagger bishie#teddy ghost#rkgk
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"Culinary students will literally have a spaghetti due at 8" "Art students will literally turn in some shapes at the end of the week" Well I have 40 insects due next month. If you even care.
#would it be funny if I tagged this as women in stem#I love when the entomology course I take for fun turns around and shoots me directly in the face with a pistol#entomology#women in stem
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The FNAF Vanessas meet their younger selves..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf vanny#fnaf vanessa#vanessa shelly#vanessa afton#fnaf movie#security breach#fnaf fanart#MORE SCENE VANNY 🩵🩵🩵#also this is a semi sequel to the Mikes ver I made#seeing I think the Vanessas deserve the funny too 😤#I like to think Vanny would tell her younger self white lies#she knows at that age she just wanted to know life would get better for her#seeing teen her was stuck living with her awful father#Vanessa’s life does get hard again as an adult but.. SINCE HW2 I think she’s in a better place#finally stood up to her abuser and all so it does get better#WHILE MOVIE VANESSA …#bit more manic here BAHAH#listen if younger Vanessa loosen screws on her fathers suit#would anyone even know 🙏🏾#she could get away with it-#Movie Vanessa of course would want to prevent things anyway she can#the Afton kids always being a lil crazy is so real
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the high guards littlest fan
#bumblebee#b 127#soundwave#shockwave#transformers one#transformers#the high guard#i think its really funny that this iteration of bee doesnt really care about being small#like tfa bee gets all mad and aggro about it but b127 is just like 'cos u guys a bigger than me! u know what i mean u know what i mean'#i do think hed be like “why didnt i grow 😧” after everyone gets their cogs though LOOOL#funfact bee WITH a cog is only like a bit taller than d16 WITHOUT a cog#dee is like so huge though#keegan michael key said that his fave transformer is soundwave#and he actually improved the voice he does when bee says his nickname off of soundwaves voice#and that he really like shis voice#so of course im making bee soundwave fan number 1
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A few Harris memes to enjoy while you cook your pets, guillotine your newborns and schedule your prison sex change.
#presidential debate#Donald Trump#Kamala Harris#2024 Presidential Debate#Debate 2024#politics#American politics#US Politics#funny#presidential election#2024#And finalize your concept of a plan of course#She's so tired#memes#reaction memes#She's thinking “I went to law school for this”#like that one judge who had to finalize custody of a parrot
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Noble Pursuit 🌅✨
#zelda#legend of zelda#breath of the wild#tears of the kingdom#botw#totk#zelda tears of the kingdom#zelda botw#zelda fanart#daeyumi art#botw npcs#totk npcs#for the girls the gays & coleman#(do ppl still use that meme? i think it’s funny lol)#ANYWAYS#this was my piece for the residents of the wild zine over on twt!!#i got to draw some of my fave npcs from botw/totk and of course i had to put the focus on vilia & bolson (& muava i love her sm)#vilia u were done so dirty in botw but we stan a queen#she deserves to be happy & hang out w the girlies at the noble canteen
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the funniest parallel between Tim and Damian that no one ever talks about is how they're both the epitome of "I know a guy" because they keep managing to pick up random friends wherever they go
#complete opposite ends of the spectrum on how they go about it of course#but it's SO FUNNY the way someone could be like 'come help me and bring whoever's free'#and Tim could show up with like...Cassie Helena and Amy#and Damian could show up with Maya Nika and Maps#and absolutely none of those choices would be out of place#tim drake#damian wayne#dc comics
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hey after kristoph gavin planted atroquinine in a kid's favorite nailpolish, while he was spending seven long agonizing years waiting for the kid to actually poison herself, how badly do you think he pissed his dumb little blue pants when 6 years in his brother presumably out of nowhere published a song titled "atroquinine my love" and made the whole world sing it for a little while
#what a funny coincidence.#an even funnier headcanon of course is that klavier knew but just couldnt prove it so he was just like#well lets fuck with this asshole a little bit#oh youre watching everyone? im watching you. and you need to change your pants#anyway#ace attorney
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Duke, who is tired of being bullied for still having only a few spots checked off on vigilante bingo, decides to get even when family game night includes Never Have I Ever. Danny, who is either a friend or basically adopted family at this point, was invited.
He brings up the fact that he has never died and been brought back to life. Multiple fingers are put down, groans and complaints are made, and then they all turn to Danny when he just stares at the ground.
"If it happened more than once, do I put more fingers down? Or just the one?" he asks. The room falls silent for a few seconds before the flood of questions start.
#danny phantom#batfam#dc comics#this would of course be in a universe where danny may know their double lives but they dont know his#danny was just living life and kept getting caught up with the waynes and figured it might as well happen#anyway family night was canceled and leslie was called after danny said he had an accident and now has a 'heart condition'#jason is very much regretting all the death jokes he makes around danny because they arent as funny FROM danny#danny is having the time of his life and thought they figure out he was phantom as well
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the face of a man who neither regrets his answer nor is aware of his imminent violent demise
#and the funny part is that all of them are right#also. despite appearances I don't actually ship Vlad with either of them!#all of my art about these three is intended to be platonic. except for canon JxM of course!#i just try to make sure they're all in character which automatically means they're gonna be Like That lol#danny phantom#vlad masters#jack fenton#maddie fenton#college trio
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Limited clothing options. True story.
#kris staying in the same clothes every day is so funny to me#of course it makes sense in a game play standpoint but man it’s so funny when characters just stay in the same clothes every day#truly enjoy it so much man#bread#deltarune#kris#art#my art#comic#mini comic#deltarune comic
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gay dracula
#a doodley#1. i love love the thought of some really stupid thing being what Breaks a stoic character for a bit#2. this is also semi based on when i saw the ''suicidal dracula be like i vant to kill myself'' and i couldnt#stop saying i vant to kill myself with the accent it was just so funny to me#3rd panel is al and skunker being confused as to why its affected him this much but they like seeing him smiling of course
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Into the pit Jeff and Mike finally sleep together in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf movie#mike schmidt#fnaf jeff#fnaf oswald#abby schmidt#into the pit#they are the same guy your honour#two sleepy dudes doing their absolute best#please let them have one good nights sleep#Mike finally has competition of being the most tired#it’s actually really funny how similar they are#just in details of being both scruffy and weirds everyone out etc#they’d get along I know it in my heart#Oswald and Abby would be able to clock it too#it’s funny in my last comic with Jeff people were already saying he looks like Mike#so of course I’d have to draw them meeting#shout out to sleepy guys gotta be one of my favourite genders
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The infamous puppy debacle of '94
#payneland#edwin x charles#dead boy detectives#dbda#charles found an immortal puppy#of course he wanted to keep it!#alas church grims belong in cemeteries#but the boys still visit her#i couldn't think of a funny enough name for her so if you have any suggestions...#she looks like that because I have two black greyhounds and they're very funny looking#also now that she doesn't steal all of charles' attention edwin loves that dog
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