#for funnies of course

[bluejaysgonerogue]

batkids using this while on patrol and as civilians

@frownyalfred enjoy

Actually my favorite replacement for both 'kill myself' jokes and jokes about reacting violently to things/people that upset me is "I'm going to end up on the news" like it's versatile, it's vague, it's not going to get me in trouble with any censors or websites that take joke threats seriously, it's family friendly while still getting the point across, what's not to love???

[climbingthefloors]

the us banning tiktok over fears of chinese influence prompting americans to flee to xiaohongshu (which translates to little red book - the same name as the famous red book of mao zedong quotations) and form instant connections with the chinese… you can't make this kind of irony up

[tired-all-the-time22]

Failed phantom smooch ft. Letting the besties know

[yourfavoritehouseplant]

"Culinary students will literally have a spaghetti due at 8" "Art students will literally turn in some shapes at the end of the week" Well I have 40 insects due next month. If you even care.

[chloesimaginationthings]

The FNAF Vanessas meet their younger selves..

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

Diana Wynne Jones wins big once again for understanding that the funniest way to write an isekai/portal fantasy is from the point of view of the people living in the fantasy world who look at the character who got isekai’d from our world and are like ‘WHAT is that guy’s deal???’

Howl/Howell stumbling back into his moving castle drunk after a night with his rugby bros is like the second funniest scene in that book, closely followed by poor Sophie getting reverse isekai’d and taking a day trip to Wales and suffering the terrible ordeal of a ride in a car.

[frownyalfred]

the batkids all have a running joke with non-family members and mission partners where they stumble across something ridiculous and just casually throw out a “oh yeah Batman and I ran into this once” or a “B taught me how to do that actually” despite literally never having done/seen the thing before.

it started out as a joke and then it became a way to keep civilians and fellow heroes from panicking when things go sideways with an audience.

massive glowing alien that sucks out your soul? Batman fought one a few years back. defusing a nuclear bomb? B had them drilling on that once, actually. seance to rescue a civilian girl from a haunted sewer? not to fear, Batman had them do a whole unit on rescue spellwork actually

[batsyheere]

Duke, who is tired of being bullied for still having only a few spots checked off on vigilante bingo, decides to get even when family game night includes Never Have I Ever. Danny, who is either a friend or basically adopted family at this point, was invited.

He brings up the fact that he has never died and been brought back to life. Multiple fingers are put down, groans and complaints are made, and then they all turn to Danny when he just stares at the ground.

"If it happened more than once, do I put more fingers down? Or just the one?" he asks. The room falls silent for a few seconds before the flood of questions start.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

the high guards littlest fan

[awkward-sultana]

A few Harris memes to enjoy while you cook your pets, guillotine your newborns and schedule your prison sex change.

[daysofnights]

when sirius and james accidentally find out about regulus’ crush on james, sirius makes the mistake of assuming him and james are on the same page and tells him he trusts him to do the right thing (ie let regulus down easy) james misinterprets this as sirius trusting him to never do anything that could hurt regulus and starts planning the wedding

[daeyumi]

Noble Pursuit 🌅✨

[rookanisstuff]

The Dellamortes

[chloesimaginationthings]

Happy 10 year anniversary to FNAF 3!!!

[fantastic-nonsense]

the funniest parallel between Tim and Damian that no one ever talks about is how they're both the epitome of "I know a guy" because they keep managing to pick up random friends wherever they go

[crplpunkklavier]

hey after kristoph gavin planted atroquinine in a kid's favorite nailpolish, while he was spending seven long agonizing years waiting for the kid to actually poison herself, how badly do you think he pissed his dumb little blue pants when 6 years in his brother presumably out of nowhere published a song titled "atroquinine my love" and made the whole world sing it for a little while