#good scran

[violetthekiller]

I can confirm that the nandos hit 🤤🤤

[serenbriar]

One of my random headcanons for Astarion is that he actually really misses food.

I can just imagine him sitting to the side while everyone gathers round the fire to eat at night as Gale spoons his daily culinary delights into everyone's bowl. He listens to their satisfied murmurs while they refuel after a hard day and all he can do is think "fuck, that looks delicious".

Of course, he'd never admit to Gale that his cooking makes him silently salivate, that he's jealous everyone but him gets to eat it.

Each night he waits patiently for Tav's neck, hoping he can taste the remnants of that night's meal in their blood.

[feartheoldblog]

MERRY CHRISTMAS CHAT I LOVE YOU ALL AND HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY

[chez-cinnamon]

Can the puppets taste the ink? I feel like this has probably been asked, but it occurred to me that if they can taste the lollipops they can also taste the ink. Fionn trying to get them to drink it is like a parent trying to get a dozen kids to take nasty cold medicine every night

They can taste it, to them it tastes like regular old tap water! Though Eddie, Poppy and Frank have found that if you boil it it tastes like either tea or coffee, but I'm not sure boiling ink is a good idea with Fionn around,,

[jamminvroomvroom]

max three tenths down on lando? inject it into my [redacted]

[catboylister]

my favourite thing to do recently is call it a disease instead of a disorder because its funny. like. sorry for being weird its the eating disease :/

[frosnpls]

i go through phases like every four months of "man i should really start going to therapy again" And Then I Don't

[shyrule]

fierce would make a mad good carbonara tho

[saturdaymournings]

me when i put my jelly in the fridge to give it that sexy texture

[eggmeralda]

I may not be that squeamish about most things but there's something about earlobes that can make me weirdly dizzy

[killa-trav]

only downside to coming to the gym when ur starving is that all u can think ab is what ur going to eat for tea

[we-r-loonies]

an actual guide to british slang for foreign marauders writers.

because i am sick of seeing

a) people using american english eg. mom, sneakers

b) people overusing "mate" and "innit"

alright? = a greeting, like hello.

everyday words

ain't = haven't

scran = food, or to describe eating

swear down = promise

"swear down, I didn't do nothing,"

bloody = can be used in any sentence at any time

"bloody hell" "its bloody pissing it down out there" "i was bloody wankered"

bloke = a man

innit = isn't it?

mate = equivalent of calling someone bro

bruv, lad, my son = bro, dude, etc

fags, rollies, ciggies, (NOT A SPLIFF) = cigarettes

trust = trust me

"trust, ill tell you later"

chatting (what you chatting about?) = what are you on about?

quid = pound

proper buzzing = really excited

good

sound = good

bangin' = really good

lush = good

"that scran was lush"

jokes = a laugh, funny

bare = a lot of

fit = physically attractive

"he's well fit, isn't he?"

pissed = drunk

dodgy/dodge = questionable

bad

are you taking the piss? = are you having a laugh?

thats peak = thats bad

not being funny, but... = no offense but...

gordon bennett! = surprise, shock, disbelief

slag off = talk badly about someone

"she was slagging her off to anyone who'd listen"

minging, rank = disgusting

bloody nora = expression of surprise, irritation

bollocks = nonsense, something bad

"stop talking bollocks, mate"

skint = broke

prat, git = an idiot

insults

a melt = a pathetic person

clapped = ugly

"he's fucking clapped..."

sket = a promiscuous woman

slag = ^^

minger = an unattractive person

plonker = calling someone silly, not offensive

"don't be a plonker..."

cunt = VERY OFFENSIVE!

wanker, tosser = a general insult

bender, poof = a gay man, used insultingly

[writersdrug]

bartender ghost who takes one of your tables who was argumentative and rude after you begged and bargained with him (he only caved when you said you’d ask soap)

Omg he'd totally think he could make you work for it too - you come up grumbling how table three is being so rude and they sent the food back twice, and they're treating you like you spat on your food or something.

"They'd be much nicer if you took them." You say, leaning over the bar.

"An' why's that?" He replies, pouring the contents of a shaker into a salt-rimmed glass.

"You look like you could set them straight."

"'N that's a good thing?"

"You're not afraid to be mean!"

"You jus' smacked the life out of four uni kids last week."

You huff, dropping your forehead against the bar. "You're mean..."

"Y' jus' said I was."

"Pretty please?" You beg, looking up at him. Simon has to steel his gaze to the shaker, pouring liquor and bitters and ingredients into it as he refuses to look at you. You got him last time with this trick - he'd caved like a tower of cards. But now, he's prepared. His eyes don't meet your pout (or your breasts pushing up against the bar), instead focusing on the drink before him.

"Not happenin." He says, shaking the drink with a strong arm. "This is your job, remember?"

You sigh and give up the act. "You can't even say anything to them?"

"Like wot?"

"Like- I dunno, just go as them 'is everythin' ok?' Like you do, you know, all scary."

He chuckles. "Ya got t' stand up for yourself, luv. Can't fight your battles."

You groan in defeat just as Soap pops out from the kitchen, placing two plates of food in front of you. "Got tae bring out yer own scran, Bonnie - 'm not yer food runner."

"Johnny!" You exclaim before he can disappear back into the kitchen. He gives you a quizzical look.

"Could you bring it to the table for me?"

Simon stops pouring the drinks, frozen in his spot.

"I jus' said nae!!"

"Please? They're being assholes about the food-"

"Oi, lower your voice." Simon barks, and you shoot him an apologetic wince.

"They're gonna complain about the food again if you don't talk to them yourself."

"Bullshit, I'm not doin' tha'."

Ghost smirked behind his mask. Taught Johnny well.

"I'll give you half of their tip."

Soap paused. "Nae, gimme the shot where ye slap me after."

"Deal!"

"No- no deal-" Simon growled, putting his drinks on the bar. He's not letting you drench Soap in water and slap him across the face, because he knows the lad will be more turned on than a lightswitch. "Fuckin' animals you two." He grabs the plates, and glares down at you. "'M not doin' this for you again."

"I won't ask again - promise." You giggle, and he wants to be mad at you, he wants to hate the sound... but he'd make a fool out of himself a thousand times, over and over, just like this, to see you looking up at him with that smile - you know you've got him wrapped around your finger, he fears, grumbling as he goes to have a chat with the bothersome table.

[jamminvroomvroom]

oh. okay. cool cool cool.

[dragonnarrative-writes]

Slasher Handler Interlude - Soap

Slasher Handler Masterlist

Freedom tastes like a cold beer and mince and tatties.

Johnny gives his second best roguish wink to the waitress when she comes by to clear the table. She blushes and pouts her lips in a promising way before another, older woman chases her away from the section.

“Don’t you be sniffin’ around ‘ere,” she tells him, no nonsense. “She’s a good girl, don’t need your kind of trouble.”

Johnny props his head on one hand and smiles up at her. “Aye, ma’am. Don’t want to trouble a sweet bird like tha’. But maybe you have use for a bit o’ trouble?”

She’s not at all impressed with him as she drops the bill, which reminds him that he hasn’t gotten a haircut or shave yet. The little cash he has on hand goes to his lunch, and then he’s back on the street. Breathing free air feels damn good, so he strides into the park at the end of the block to think about his next steps.

The fact that he only had cash enough for a single meal tells him that Price didn’t know he was getting released today. That or he’s punishing Johnny, but he’s not gotten in any trouble his whole incarceration, mòran taing. (Many thanks.) So probably, it’s the former. That means he needs to call the old bastard. Unless...

He nicks a phone with a bump, apology, and a smile. Knocks the man’s wallet from his hand and gives it back with an exaggerated wince. It’s not hard to guess the man’s pin and add his own fingerprint to the scanner before disabling the damn lost phone app as he strides out of the park. Two minutes later, he’s dialing a number he’s memorized back and forward.

“This is Laswell.”

“Hello, Laswell,” he purrs. “Guess who’s out on good behavior?”

She must pull the phone from her ear, but he still hears as she swears rather impressively. “MacTavish. Who knows you’re out?”

“Naebody, apparently,” Soap says, exiting the opposite end of the park. “Barely had enough cash fer a scran.”

“How long ago did you call John?”

“Now, why would ah call Price, Laswell? Pretty sure he paid to ‘ave me killed in there.”

“No, he didn’t,” she sighs.

“Nae, Price’d do the deed himself,” Johnny laughs. “Pretty sure it woulda been Castle. Anyway, you got a pretty little lock box at the bank ah’m lookin at?”

“Do not rob a bank, Soap.”

“You wound me. I got out on good behavior, remember?”

“Soap.” Her voice brooks no nonsense. “Do not rob that bank. I’ll call John to wire money over.”

“Swell,” he chuckles. “Three hours?”

“You in a rush?”

“Well, ah gotta toss the phone back in the park.”

“Wonderful. Give it four hours. And Soap?”

“Aye?”

“I paid to have you shanked. Rachel sends her best.”

“Aw, ah kent ah was yer favorite, Laswell.”

[astonmartinii]

the student life part two | charles leclerc instagram au

part one

pairing: charles leclerc x student!reader

after an eventful visit to his girlfriend's university, charles unleashes his girlfriend and her friends on the paddock.

yourusername

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tagged: yourbff1, yourbff2, yourbff3

yourusername: some may call it insanity, but there's no other way we'd do it

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charles_leclerc safe flight my love

yourbff1 she's already yakked once and we've not even made it through security yet

yourusername travelators should be illegal

pierregasly y/n is coming to abu dhabi??? i'm ready for the mess

yourusername you better be ready gasly, i've not forgotten you making fun of sharl for bodybagging. it's your turn next

charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc: trying to spend time with y/n after two months away but there's these random people that won't leave us alone

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yourusername they're my stray cats they have attachment issues <3

yourbff1 thanks mom (dad is an asshole)

charles_leclerc i'm not your dad???

pierregasly the way i can hear them from my room down the hall

yourusername we don't know what volume control is, my sincerest apologies

danielricciardo ahhhh the woman herself

yourusername DANIEL I LOVE YOU (go back to red bull pls)

yourbff1 added to their story

[caption: her ass does not have the reaction time to take pics of f1 cars on that dinosaur]

yourusername

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yourusername: everyone knows the race is just a pregame for the after party - good luck tho boob @charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc thanks (reminder you can't drink in the garage)

yourusername i'll go cold turkey for you any day

yourbff2 real love right there

danielricciardo my liver is quaking in fear

maxverstappen1 god you're old

yourusername yes maxy that's the spirit gin and tonic on me (on charles)

charles_leclerc ummm ???

yourusername added to their story

[caption: get me a double vodka red bull STAT]

yourbff3 added to their story

[caption: celebratory scran for sharl]

yourusername

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yourusername: camera roll finds

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charles_leclerc don't knock the dance moves

yourusername never !!!! one of your many seduction techniques

landonorris what is this top @maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1 apparel for real men

danielricciardo i'll be invoicing you for my bar tab

yourusername don't leave it open old man <3

charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc the duality of f1. so so happy to get p2 in the championship, but of course we want to build from here. also big thank you to my wonderful girlfriend and her stray friends who killed off the rest of the grid for me (jokes) thanks for spending your whole student loan in the hospitality.

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yourusername so so so proud of you boob, but more importantly WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER YOU DIDN'T BODYBAG

charles_leclerc thank you my love, i learnt from the best

yourusername same cannot be said for @pierregasly @landonorris @danielricciardo @carlossainz @georgerussell63 @estebanocon @mickschumacher - congrats to @maxverstappen1 @valterribottas @fernandoalonso @sebastainvettel for being big boys who can handle liqueur

sebastianvettel i don't know what this is but yes i am an old man

danielricciardo way harsh y/ln

pierregasly leave me alone my head hurts