#and then i had to go and lie on the bathroom floor bc i felt nauseous as well

[eggmeralda]

I may not be that squeamish about most things but there's something about earlobes that can make me weirdly dizzy

[shurisbathwater]

Hiii I have a request☺️

Shuri x reader

Reader gets pregnant and is confused and terrified bc she’s only been with shuri

So one day she visits shuri in the lab and starts asking more detailed questions about the strap

Then she’s also worried bc he and shuri aren’t actually in a relationship so she starts avoiding her until she can figure out what to do

Shuri doesn’t like that she’s being ignored so she just shows up in the readers house and like is sitting on the couch or something waiting for when the reader gets home one night.

Plz forgive my formatting I wrote this at work. Thank youu😚

𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ; Shuri udaku

✿•˖*

A/n :: Thank you sm for the request love <;3! Srry this took ages 😭😭 I had alot of stuff going on personally.

𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 :: you find out your pregnant with Shuri's baby. Freaked out and confused, you avoid and deny everything. Hard truth -You and Shuri are not even in a relationship. So what will happen now?

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 :: Angsty, fluff. That should be it.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 :: 1,834

✿•˖*

higher -- tems

best part -- daniel caesar Ft. H.E.R

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐍𝐈𝐁𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐏 and bounced your knee up and down as you sat on the toilet of your bathroom. "Fuck.Fuck.Fuck. Oh my gosh."

You put your head in your hands as you just needed a moment to.. you'd say.. think. How could you let this happen? You grab the pregnancy test sitting on the sink and you grab it, looking at the result.

"Positive.." you breathed out as you shook your head. "No no no." You put your head in your hands once again. You throw the test and it hits off of the door, onto the floor. You rip open another test and repeat the same process.

You watch the test as you wait for the result, keeping your beady little eyes on it.

Soon, two lines come up on the test.

"No!nope nope nope." You dig through the trash to look at the box. "This has to be some kind of prank." You muttered, in denial about everything.

It could be the test, right? there's no way..well it is from a cheap drugstore. You read the test, and nothing seems useful to you so you throw it back in.

You're going to have to accept it.

You're pregnant.

With shuri udaku's baby.

Without thinking, you leave the bathroom and grab your coat. You then get your keys from the counter and go down to the stairs, to get to the parking garage.

As you get there, you sit in your car and nibble your lip. You cant be pregnant. You guys aren't even together. You can't be together. That was the agreement. This was just for fun..but It got serious so fast. You drive off, palms sweaty and shaky.

✿•˖*

𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐄 standing outside of shuris lab now. You grab the doorhandle but hesitate, but before you can do anything griot informs her that someone is here.

"Come in!"

You take a deep breath and open the door, standing helplessly as she works on a new project.

"Oh, y/n. Didnt expect to see you here." She says as she glances up at you, then continuing to work.

You chuckle shakily as you muster up some words to say to her. "I'm..I wanted to ask you something, you know about the strap." You get quieter on the last word.

She drops her piece of equipment and stares at you. She raises her brow and stares at you strangely. "Can it maybe get me pregnant, for instance?" You ask.

"No..why are you asking?" She tilts her head. "Y'know, I just wanna protect myself. Is anything faulty about it or...?" You slightly lie, and before she can open her mouth you cut her off.

"Actually, don't answer that. Its fine." You say as you turn around to the door. "Y/n--" but before she could say anything you were gone.

you felt a wave of embarrasment and shame come over you. You felt as if you screwed this up. You walk to your car and try to open the door, but your hands were shaky. you take breaths to calm yourself.

"I'll figure it out." you mumble to yourself as you finally open the car door. Okay, a plan. what will you do?

No idea.

you groaned and put your head against the steering wheel. You were completely clueless..how were you going to take care of a mini you when you can hardly take care of yourself some days?

You figured the best idea was to stop seeing shuri untill you figured out and processed all of this.

you rub your belly and bite your lip.

"Everythings gonna be alright.." you reassured yourself as you started the car, your shaky and clammy hands gripping the steering wheel.

You drove off from the lab, playing some chill r & b to soothe you.

Once you got to your house. you slumped on the couch and sat there in distress. you felt the tears prickling in your eyes, and your throat closing up. There was one question lingering in your mind. what were you going to do?

Your phone buzzed, bringing you out of your trance. you wiped your eyes and sniffled.

shuri

wyd tomorrow?

you

busy

shuri

day after that?😏

you

busy all week

you threw your phone across the couch as you slumped there, being sorry for yourself. How could you let this happen. Messing with the princess of wakanda wasn't the best idea.. but somehow you couldn't let go. You craved her touch, and when she wasnt there you could still taste her on your lips.

The best idea was to avoid. avoid avoid avoid. Untill nessecary. Which would probably be..forever? she couldn't know about this baby. Not now , not ever.

✿•˖*

weeks later

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐃 with your fingers anxiously as you sat out in the waiting room, outside of the obstetricians office. You sat alone with your thoughts as the clocked on the wall ticked. Shuri had been trying to contact you for ages now, and your only choice was to decline and avoid.

You now were here for your first ultrasound, which was well overdue. suddenly, a secretary comes out.

"Y/n L/n?" she says as she looked around the room.

you got up from your seat and took a deep breath, your hands shaking. "Okay.." you muttered as you made your way to the office.

You had no idea what the gender was, and the pregnancy was slowly started to show on you. mood changes, morning sickness, and cravings. The belly was starting to show too, in which you had to hide with baggy clothes. Layering clothes was basically your best friend.

You walked into the office as the doctor smiled at you warmly. "Hi.." you said in a low tone. "hi y/n." She said as she put on her gloves. "Do you mind just sitting over there?" she says to you as she prepares everything for your ultrasound. you take a seat. she then adjusts the chair to make you lean back.

She starts the procedure by pulling up your shirt and putting gel directly on your stomach. she rubs the cold gel on your preganant belly. "Nervous?" she said to you, trying to make conversation. "Kinda." you chuckled. "Thats okay.. it's normal. You're not the only one." she grinned at you.

"Okay..." she says as she gets the sensor and puts it onto your stomach, moving it round. Suddenly something comes on the screen. your..baby.."Oh..oh my gosh." you say as a tear rolls down your face, hands over your mouth. you laughed softly. You start to sob quietly out of joy.

This was a moment you were going to cherish forever.

"It's just me and you." you said in between sobs, smiling.

"Would you like to know the gender?"

"No..no..I want it to be a surprise." you sniffled as you wiped your tears.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑 𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑 opened as you get to your apartment floor. You felt joy running through your body, but also waves of sadness.

You walk over to your apartment and put the keys in the door, the keys jangling. you walk in to see the lights on and someone sitting on the couch. It can't be..you drop your keys and walk backwards. "When were you going to tell me...sthandwa." she turns and gets up to look at you. "oh.." you mutter as you close the door behind you. "h..how did you get in here, Shuri?" you said shakily. "when were you going to tell.Me."

she picks up the trash can from your bathroom , and takes out the two pregnancy tests. "I..."

"This is why you were avoiding me?"

"I didn't know how to tell you." you sniffled as you felt the waterworks coming.

"..I thought it was for the best."

Shuri looks at you, attempting to stay strong. you saw her slowly breaking down, tears rolling down her face. "When did you find out? how far along are you?" she rushes to you, grasping onto your elbows, rubbing her hands along your arms.

"A couple weeks." you sniffled and smiled up at her. you take the photo of the ultrasound out of your bag and show it to her. she gasps softly as she takes it out of your hand to look at it.

she cries some more, tear drops rolling on the picture. "entle.." her mother language slipping off of her tongue. she puts it on the counter and gets on her knees, admiring yourbaby belly. she kisses it softly and looks up at you. she closes her eyes as another tear comes down, and you cover your mouth to stop you from full on sobbing.

the most beautiful moment you had ever experienced.

"Have you told anyone yet?"

"no.. i don't plan on it anytime soon."

"I'll wait for you. whenever your ready, I will wait for you."

✿•˖*

𝐘𝐎𝐔 looked at yourself in the mirror and adjusted your hair for what felt like the fifth time in the past five minutes. "Relax babe, you look amazing." Riri reassured you as she walked towards the mirror, looking at you in the relfection. "You should go out there. Everyones waiting for you." she grinned. you give her a tight lipped smile back as she put her hand in yours. "you got this. it's your day." you nodded as she walked out of the bathroom, glancing at you and shutting it behind her.

"Okay." you mutter as you walk out of your hiding spot.

you walk over to the front of your babies gender reveal in awe. You couldn't believe it was happening. You felt calm and stress-free as you know there people who love you and care for you, meaning you didn't feel alone anymore.You felt a little anxious though. you rubbed your belly again and you looked down at your outfit, and admired yourself. You felt as confident as ever. you smiled to yourself as Shuri came up beside you, kissing your forhead. "I told you not to wear those death traps." you rolled your eyes as you knew what she was referring to.

"Heels aren't going to hurt the child, Shuri." you chuckled. "Plus, i look good, don't I?" you spun around to show the full fit. "Amazing." she smiled wide.

Shuri grabbed a pin, and you grabbed a balloon which had the words "Boy or girl?" inprinted on it. Family and friends gathered and smiled hopefully at the both of you.

"3..2..1..!" They all chanted along with you

Shuri pops the balloon, and suddenly everyone cheered in unision. Blue glitter spread in the air, meaning it's a boy!

You and shuri screamed excitedly, jumping up in the air. she picks you up and spins you around.

"Oh my gosh..Marry me."

your lips part slowly as you try to process the information you just heard.

"Marry me, sthandwa."

You nod as you were shocked you couldn't even say anything.

it was now you, your wife and your son.

A/n : sorry this took so long yall...chile what a mess. Anyways hope you enjoyed.

[rimunagenius]

Lucky

Pairing: Will ‘Ironhead’ Miller x F!reader , Benny Miller x Frankie Morales x Santiago Garcia x F!reader

Warning: angst! , mentions of divorce (reader and ex husband (Garrett) yes i did this on purpose) , foul language (like very derogatory terms used against reader) , and overload of Will x reader fluff!

Word count: 4.1k words!!

Summary: You found out your husband cheated, abandoned you and your guys’ baby for your bestfriend. Your best boys are their to comfort you through the nasty breakup.

Note: I absolutely loved the idea of the reader having a baby and being a single mom (mainly bc i’m not a fan of together parents [based from my experience]) because i would be able give most of the men in the movie a good ending they didn’t get other than Frankie. Frankie got his baby and the others just exist and the ending leaves very little to the imagination so i like the found family dynamic (BUT THIS IS STILL BEFORE THE EVENTS THAT OCCURED IN COLOMBIA). I also really want to explore the reader and Wills relationship further maybe? Idk lmk what you guys think.

***

Numb.

That’s how you would describe the pain you felt—couldn’t feel, as you lie on the floor of your bathroom. Your chest felt like a ton of bricks had been piled on, one after another and the weight was ruthless as you tried to intake a breath.

You didn’t know what you did, why it happened, or what went wrong that caused the feelings to change. Why her? What did she have that you didn’t?

You ran through every scenario in your head, replaying every moment and words exchanged with him. What made him so unhappy in this relationship. You had a baby with him for god sakes. It didn’t change the fact that he left both of you. You and Tatum. Your 7 month old baby.

You don’t know when you ended up on the floor, when you decided that it was all too much that you took solace in the one area you haven’t cleaned in 2 weeks. It was gross. You were gross—felt gross. You couldn’t remember anything that happened in the last 72 hours other than getting up to feed your baby and go to the bathroom on a continuous cycle. You had ignored everyone’s calls. Either sending them straight to voicemail or just listening to the phone ring.

Frankie called and asked why you, your husband—soon to be ex husband, and Tatum missed the cookout Friday night. Benny calling because you missed his fight, the one you promised you’d make this time, the one they had the celebratory cookout for. Santi had the same reason as Frankie. Everyone was worried sick. You haven’t responded to any text and calls and that was unlikely behavior on your part.

Will didn’t know what to do. He had called and texted, a numerous amount of times. He even showed up to your house, knocking and waiting by the door for almost an hour when the guys called him and said you hadn’t responded to them either.

Will was your best friend. You’ve known him just as long as Benny. The Millers being your bestfriends since you were kids. They introduced you to their friends once they all decided to leave the Army. You soon became apart of their found family.

But Will, your the closest to. You were the same age, leaving an age gap to the youngest Miller, that’s why you got along and closer to Will; but you didn’t love and adore Benny any less. As all the guys’ failed attempts at trying to figure out what was going on, you just repeated the same endless cycle.

Get up. Feed the baby. Change the baby. Bathe the baby. Go to the bathroom. Put baby to sleep. Wallow in self pitty. Go to sleep. Get up. Feed the baby. Change the baby. Bathe the baby. Go to the bathroom. Put baby to sleep. Wallow in self pitty. Go to sleep. All day for the last three days.

So you lay there, on the bathroom floor, Tatum asleep in her bouncer right next to you. You brought her in here when you had to leave the room to vomit as you couldn’t handle being you. You being so sick of yourself since it was was easy for him, your husband of 4 years, boyfriend of 6, to leave—cheat on you like all those memories, the baby you both made together, was nothing.

You decided to jump in the shower, not having showered in days. The warm water felt good on your skin, refreshing. All you could do was stand there. Enjoy the water washing away the sweat, tears, touch of everything you’ve experienced in the last 2 weeks. Washing away his touch. The lingering cheek kiss, side waist hug as he was leaving for ‘lunch with his boss’ so they could ‘talk about a promotion.’

You bet sex with Samantha, talking about him leaving to move in and to continue having a relationship while breaking the heart of the one they both were supposed to love most was fan-fucking-tastic.

As you finished washing your hair and body, even shaving your legs because you needed to feel clean, new, Tatum cried. Hopping out you wrapped your towel around yourself and bent down to place her pacifier back in her mouth. Her cries dying slowly and her eyes lulled to a close again.

Picking up the bouncer you walked back to your room, and put on your sleep shorts and oversized T shirt and took Tatum to the living room. Setting her in her bassinet that you bought last week for the living room, you grabbed the throw blanket that was on the couch and cover your legs as the TV played ‘Love Island’.

Wow, great choice for a time like this. God really loves me today, doesn’t he? You couldn’t help but let the tears that were in a relentless battle with your self control, roll down your face. It was just so hard to let go of all the memories. The years that you spent loving the man that you thought was the love of your life, but ended up being the love of your ex bestfriends’.

Brushing your hair behind your ears, a knock at your door interrupted your tears. Sighing, grateful you had closed the blinds and your car had been parked in the garage, so it wasn’t noticeable that you were home, you sat and waiting for whoever thought you were home, would give up and go home. You should’ve known better.

After ten minutes, the knocking continued and you growing annoyed, got up to answer. Your wet hair, dampening your shirt as you totally disregarded putting it up. “What the fuck, man.” You said as you approached the door, hoping whoever was there, heard.

You have a shocked look across your face as you find Frankie standing at your door, flowers and chocolates in hand. You sigh, a sad smile reaching your lips as you reach up to hug your best friend. “Hi, Frankie.” Tears fell down your face and Frankie was already worried but seeing the disheveled look you had and the sadness in your usually happy-lit eyes, his smile and emotions dropped. Seeing you sad made him sad.

He hugged you back, tighter and just held you. Didn’t ask any questions. As you let go you took the flowers and allowed him inside, but as you were shutting the door, three more people came barreling towards you.

“Wait, we’re here too.” Benny.

“Wait don’t close it, cariño.” Santi.

“We came too.” Will.

You fought the tears as you tried to smile as your boys flowed through the door as you let them. “Just be quiet, Tatum hasn’t been sleeping well.” As if on cue, Tatum started crying. That’s when you snapped. All the small tears and sniffles turned into loud sobs as the cycle began all over again.

You shut and locked the door before pushing past the guys, who all watched you in sadness as you couldn’t stop sobbing as you picked up your daughter and just held her as you wished she would just stay asleep. “Lemme take her from you. Uncle Benny has missed his partner in crime.” Benny walked over, taking off his hat and setting it on the coffee table, and swooped Tatum out of your arms.

You sighed as you sat on the couch and rested your head in your hands. It was so overwhelming, all of it.

“What happened, cariño.” Santi asked as he sat in the love seat in your living room. His question only prompted more tears and cries. You couldn’t hold it in anymore. You spent the last three days numb because you had to be strong for Tatum. You couldn’t let yourself spiral. Now that the guys were here, you couldn’t help it.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, sweetheart. Just breathe.” Will kneeled infront of you, removing your hands from your face, replacing one with a hand of his own against one of your cheeks.

“He left.” Was all you could say. Croak, actually. You couldn’t speak as more sobs threatened to tear from your throat.

“Who? Garret?” Frankie asked, already having a strong idea as to what went down. He never liked Garret, never trusted him either. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t already mad.

“Yeah. He went out for lunch ‘with his boss to talk about some promotion at the firm’, but he actually met up with Samantha.” You wiped the tears from your eyes. Meaning to put air quotes around the words, confirming Frankie’s suspicions. You sniffled, grimacing at the sound as you were super congested from the crying you’ve been doing for the last 72 hours. It was fucken awful.

“That fucken bastard.” Benny and Santiago said together.

“He was a piece of shit, anyways.” Will mumbled as he pulled your head into his shoulder as he hugged you, remaining on his knees infront of you.

“I never liked him. Just thought i’d say that up front right now.” Frankie raised his hand.

“He didn’t even come back. He hasn’t come back and I sure as hell hope he doesn’t for the sake of him wanting to keep his manhood.” You sighed into Wills shoulder, eliciting a chuckled from the guys, including you. Surprisingly. “I found out by Samanthas roommate Nina, who by the way knew they had been fucking for 2 months now. She only told me because her and Sam got into an argument about the rent like a week ago. Samantha has been texting me non-stop about how sorry she is but he hasn’t messaged me once.” You pulled away from Will and looked at all the guys in the room. You were so grateful for these men. Your safe place, your support system, your home when yours didn’t feel like it anymore.

“Good. Cause if he calls, he’s not gonna hear the end of it from the Millers, and won’t be able to cheat on anyone when me and Frankie are done with him. Shit, he won’t be alive once the Millers jump in.” Santiago said as he turned his attention to the TV, noticing the Love Island playing. Turning the TV off immediately, not thinking it suit the moment.

You smiled softly, your sad smile returning as you wiped the stray tears. “Hi, baby! How’s my favorite niece!” You heard Benny as he was suddenly made aware of Tatums awake state as she grabbed at his stubble. She loved touching all the guys facial hair. You never understood it but whenever one of them was holding her, her hand was always on their face.

“Hey, dickhead! She’s not the only niece you have.” Frankie reminded Benny of his own kid, earning a groan from Benny.

“Dude she’s not even born yet. When she is, they’ll both be my favorite princesses in the world. Fun Uncle Benny is gonna be their favorite.”

Frankie nodded his head, rolling his eyes at Benny’s save. The room went silent as your phone rang, and the picture and called ID was on display to everyone.

“Fuck no.” Benny immediately said. “Shit! Aw damn! Jeez, sorry.” He immediately apologized for his language. Aware how you felt about the guys cursing around Tatum.

“Don’t answer it.” Will said, as you picked up your phone. All the guys protested but you didn’t care. You answered.

“What?” Your sadness immediately being replaced by anger and betrayal as he just now decided to call.

“What the fuck is your problem!? Your ignoring Sammy? She didn’t do anything to you.” Garret yelled over the phone at you.

What a fucken idiot.

“Im sorry, WHAT!? Your going to call me to bitch and moan about how im ignoring the woman you cheated on me with!? Your unbelievable.” You got up, all the men stood up with you.

“Im unbelievable!? Your just a self centered bitch who didn’t see that I was unhappy in our marriage! Jesus Christ! You were so fucking boring,” Garret said your name with such distaste and anger. It shocked you. Suddenly you didn’t feel mad, you felt sad and worthless again. The boys didn’t waste no time in jumping in.

“Hey, man. Watch your damn mouth.” Will said from next to you. The calmness in his voice was scary. It always was. The way he stayed calm during duress situations was scarier than him yelling.

“Mhnmhn.” Frankie shook his head from where he was standing.

“Earmuffs Tatum. Im gonna fucking kill him.” Benny whispered looking up. No matter how little Benny was, growing up, he protected you—tried to, whenever someone gave you a hard time. He’s done it all his life, and this time was no different. Even with your daughter in his arms.

“Dear god.” Santi rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“Oh, what? You have your little bitch dogs with you. I bet your banging all of them, you fucken slut. You always had the hots for Will. Your a whore. This is why I cheated in the first place.” Garret yelled through the phone, Samantha being heard laughing in the back.

“Get your head out of your ass and put your bitch in check. They’re here because they’re helping me take care of your daughter. You know, the one you decided to abandon the minute you fucked another woman?” You cried into the phone. You couldn’t even be angry. All you felt was sadness. Everything hurt. It hurt to cry, to speak, to breathe.

“Look, im sorry. You gotta understand that I wasn’t happy anymore. I’m sorry, baby.”

“You do not get to ‘baby’ me. Your a sad excuse for a man Garret. Jesus.” You decided you didn’t want to just rip at him, you needed to get a rip at Sammy. “Sammy, don’t be sad when you wake up one day when you don’t see Garret in bed with you. He’ll probably get bored of you too, and fuck your roommate. Hell, he’ll fuck the whole complex.” You heard a distant ‘Fuck you’ before you let more tears fall.

“Baby, im sorry.”

“Garret, stop calling me that. We’re done. You don’t get to be nice and ‘baby’ your way out of this. You just finished calling me a slut and a whore!”

“But you get to invite all your men over!? How could you do that to me?”

“How could you cheat on me with my bestfriend!?” You choked back a sob, Will wrapping his arms around your neck from behind, kissing the top of your head.

Garret said your name, just above a whisper. “I never meant to hurt you.”

Your voice soft, tired, of speaking when all you want to do is cry. You did just that, cry as you got your final words out. “It doesn’t really matter, Garret. Cause in the end it all hurts the same. I’m done. I’m done with you, your little whore and your not coming back home. Expect divorce papers at the door of your house—oh, im sorry, your mistress’ house, in two weeks. Fuck you, man!”

“Can I atleast get my-“ You didn’t give him to finish his sentence as you hung up, unleashing all your pent up rage, sadness and overall overexertion. You turned your body into Wills, allowing him to hug you as you cry into his favorite hoodie. He doesn’t even care that his forearms of his sleeves are getting damp from your still undried hair, and his chest growin damp from your tears.

Benny, Frankie, and Santiago all joined in on the hug as you just cried. They knew there was nothing they could say or do but just hold you while you let it all out.

These were your guys, and nothing would change the way you would always be grateful to them.

Your boys, your safe place, your support system, your home when yours didn’t feel like home anymore.

***

Will had made dinner for all you guys. You all sat at the table and ate together, Benny not letting go of Tatum once. She already had her uncle wrapped around her finger.

For the most part you guys ate quietly, and just talked about what you missed the last three days before apologizing that you had missed it all. None of them held it against you, understandably so. They talked about their work and what they’ve been up to and what they have going on, not touching on your situation any longer than they had to. You didn’t want ‘im sorry’s you just wanted to hang out with your friends. You didn’t want to feel sad anymore.

Not long after you all ate, you went and laid on the couch in bewteeen Will and Benny. You were leaning on Benny, curled into his side while Frankie sat on the other side of him and Will by your feet. You don’t remember much of what you were watching as you were in and out of sleep. Sleep that you haven’t been able to properly get as it was just you and Tatum. An insomniac baby is bound to catch up to you later. All you knew you had put on your favorite rom com but just didn’t remember exactly what part you were watching.

It wasn’t long before the built, muscled, and toned side of Bennys frame, turned into the soft cuddly teddy bear that was his personality. Long before you could fight the sleep until the guys left, your eyes closed and you fell asleep.

You had convinced the guys to watch your favorite rom-com. It only took you begging them quietly as Tatum fell asleep after you fed her, not wanting to wake her, and dropping the ‘hey, I just asked for a divorce against my cheating husband’ card and it was hard for them to say no to you.

Benny and Will knew that you falling asleep to this movie wasn’t uncommon. You did when it first came out when you were in middle school. The movies nights they let you pick and you’d pick this movie falling asleep around the same time, everytime. How to lose a guy in 10 days just gave you the comfort you needed whenever you felt sad or whenever you just felt like falling hopelessly inlove with the perfect love story.

“Never fails.” Benny chuckled softly, noticing your soft snores into his side.

All the guys looked over to see you knocked out, curled into a tiny ball, wrapped in the small throw blanket. This was a calming and reassuring view for all of them. They’ve never seen you like this before. Sure they have been there ever since they met you and all the old boyfriends who didn’t deserve you, but the way you were today. Sad, betrayed, and angry…was something they hope to never see again.

They love the happy you. The you that jumped up and down whenever you met them at the terminal when they were back on leave. The you that laughed at the most unfunniest jokes because everyone deserves to feel special. The you that your smile brightens up the whole damn room and any of their bad days.

They saw you finally at peace, the most peaceful you of the day. Getting the rest you deserved they all felt successful in their efforts to cheer you up any way they could.

Frankie was the first to get up, putting his hat on. “I gotta head out, my girl is waiting for me.” He hugged all his friends goodnight, stopping at you to give you a kiss on our head. Santiago got up, being that Frankie was his ride. Santiago did the same.

Benny was harder to get up. He didn’t want to disturb the little sleep you have been able to get in the last couple of days, but again, Frankie was his ride. He grabbed a throw pillow next to him, and swiftly and stealthly switched it under your head. Your soft stirring causing all the men to stop breathing and moving, not wanting to disturb you.

Once the coast was clear Benny said bye to his brother and kissed your head softly. He walked over to Tatum and kissed her soft brown hair, covering her better with her blanket.

Will decided to stay the night with you. You had agreed when you sat down to pick the movie while the other guys cleaned up the kitchen after dinner. He offered to help you with his goddaughter so you can get whatever you needed done, out of the way. You appreciated the offer and agreed with open arms to let him stay. Him saying he’ll figure the ride out tomorrow, or whenever you didn’t need his help anymore.

The guys exited the front door, the sound of the truck starting soon disappearing as they pulled out and drove away.

No matter how much Will denied it to everyone, he was a sucker for the cheesy romance movies. He wouldn’t admit it, especially to you. These were your favorite and it was his duty as your bestfriend to deny he likes whatever you like. ‘It’s because im a boy’ he always told you. You thought he was so full of shit. He sat there for twenty minutes watching the movie he’s seen over a thousand times in his lifetime. It seemed to be working whatever magic it had on you and made him so tired. You guys both seemed to swap your liveliness.

Your sleepy state didn’t last long as you opened your eyes and let them wander around the room, as much as you could see, to find the house empty but Will and Tatum.

You sat up, and yawned. “How long was I asleep for?” You look at Will, hopeful that it was enough.

“Like, thirty minutes.” He rubbed his eyes as he yawned. His yawn being a little too loud as it woke Tatum.

You were moving the blanket off of you, getting up to get your daughter when Will beat you to it. “I got her. Sit back down, sweetheart.” You nodded softly your eyes still heavy from being tired.

“When did the guys leave?” You frowned having missed them on their way out. You didn’t say thank you.

“Like twenty minutes ago,” Hey, babygirl. C’mon. I got you.” Will bent over the bassinet, looking at Tatum. He cradled her in his arms. He watched as Tatums cries soon turned into whimpers which then turned into soft cooing. He smiled at her before another yawn escaped his lips.

The movie was still playing quietly, the end almost nearing. The soft background noise pulling you into your sleepy state yet again. You closed your eyes, shoving your arms and legs under the blanket forming a small ball again. The couch dipped next to you as Will filled the space, holding your baby girl.

You didn’t think twice before moving your body the other direction, to face Will before moving closer to his side. He knew what you wanted and he lifted his arm so you can get comfortable against him.

He threw his head back, finally closing his eyes as one arm held Tatum and the other held you against his chest. You couldn’t have been more grateful for this man. You loved him with every bone in your body. You were so glad that you were able to call him your bestfriend. You can count on him when the world let you down again and again.

You looked up at him, touching the side of his face. On contact, he moved his head in your direction, smiling softly as he was met with your eyes, full of happiness again. “Will?”

“Yeah, baby?” Your breath hitched at the nickname he hasn’t used for you in years. Atleast before you met Garrett. You hoped it wasn’t noticeable. Will picked up on everything, very observant, damn you Army.

“Thank you. Your too good to us.” You whispered, looking away from his face, nestling into the crook of his neck as you watched your daughter peacefully sleep in your bestfriends arms.

“Anytime, sweetheart. Anything for my two favorite girls.” He kissed your head, resting his head back on the couch, a small smile on his face as he closed his eyes.

“I love you.” You whispered, closing your eyes too.

“I love you.”

All you could think about was how lucky you and Tatum had been to have a man like this in your life. A man who will move heaven and earth if you asked. How lucky you were to have men as good friends as the guys were to you. You couldn’t ask for a better family to help you raise your baby.

You and Tatum were so lucky.

You were both happy.

***

A/n: I would absolutely love to turn Tatum and the guys relationship into a full series of one-shots. Like little moments as she grows up. I want to create a father-daughter dynamic with Tatum and Will because like i said i want to explore Will x F!reader more!! Maybe along the lines of them growing closer as Tatum grows up because as they figure the whole parenting thing out together, they also find themselves and figure out their relationship as well.

Let me know what you think!!! It would be greatly appreciated!!

[bcolfanfic]

“come on, talk to me. when have i ever led you astray, hm?” for evhelen pls!

tweaked the quote a lil, hope that's okay. hi baby sawyer <3 also random authors note but bc this is my au and i can do what i want i bumped nash's age when he died down and ev's age up. helen was newly 20 when nash, who was 22, died. by this point in the Lore she's 23 and ev is 3,000 years old 28.

***if you're reading this and are new to my young veterans au, wyatt is helen's little boy she had with nash- who she was married to before he died in afghanistan. more of her backstory can be found in my ev x helen and helen mota tags <3

---

"What's wrong- is Wyatt okay?"

It felt like hours passed before Helen answered, wiping her face with the back of her hand. Everett shed his flight jacket haphazardly by the door, not bothering to pick it up when it missed the hook and hit the floor.

"Wyatt's fine, he's in his room," Helen said quietly, taking a shaky breath as she crossed her arms back over body.

She had her knees tucked to the side on the couch, Everett gently nudging them to the side as he sat down. The only reaction she gave him was picking at one of her cuticles, trying to catch her breath to little success.

"Okay," He said slowly. "So what's goin' on then?"

"You're gonna be pissed." She spat out, the rims under her eyes making it obvious she'd been crying for some time making him just as worried as her terse assertion did.

A small list of possibilities crossed his mind- that she'd broken something of his, forgotten to do something she'd said she would. Nothing he imagined he'd be as pissed about as she was implying.

But that was his girl to a tee- the amount she worried about nearly everything something they were still working on.

"Come on Hel talk to me," He tried, reaching forward to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear from where it was sticking to her face. "When have I ever wanted you to keep something makin’ you upset from me, hm?”

Helen swallowed think, sucking in her bottom lip as a few more tears slipped out. She still wouldn't look at him, Everrett about to say something about it when what she blurted out brought his mind to a screeching halt.

"I'm pregnant, Ev."

The living room in his their house felt quieter than it had since Helen and Wyatt moved in a little over six months ago. He opened and closed his mouth twice before an unceremonious "What?" finally forced its way out.

Helen looked up at him wordlessly, biting the inside of her cheek.

“You’re, you’re sure,” He said, a wave of nausea rolling through him when she gave him a little nod.

“Tests are in- the bathroom still," She said, motioning with her head in that direction. "If you wanna go look at them.”

It felt like moving through molasses forcing himself up off the couch and back towards the bathroom, breath hitching in his throat when he pushed open the door.

The tests were sure as shit right there where'd she left them, the two pink lines on all three of them staring right back at him.

His first thought was his own stupidity, shame making his face feel hot as he thought about how reckless he'd been. They could've-, he could've made them be more careful. Denying that would be a bigger lie than he'd told in a while.

But somewhere in his head, there was an emotion that almost felt like excitement rolling around like a marble. Helen- his sweet perfect Helen that he'd known he wanted to spend the rest of his life with from the first night she slept in his bed, was having his baby.

Nerves aside, if he was supposed to be pissed about it he didn't quite understand why.

A watery inhale from behind him pulled him out of his head, and he turned to find Helen standing just outside the bathroom. She was crying again, furiously swiping at her eyes with both hands, a few "I'm sorry"s coming through between hiccups.

“Helen sweetheart hey,” Everett said, stepping forward to put an arm around her waist, other hand coming to cup her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. “Got nothing to be sorry for, I'm not mad,"

“Think about what everyone is gonna think,” Helen interrupted, pulling away from him to walk back down the hallway. “No one is gonna let it go that your little widow girlfriend got knocked up so quick." She continued, voice more raised than he'd heard it in months. "They're gonna think I'm baby trapping you, and I can’t ruin your life Ev. I won’t, I’ll-”

“Woah woah woah- hold on a second,"

Everett nearly tripped over himself to go after her, talking to her back as she retreated to the living room, grabbing the back of the couch with both hands. "You're not ruining my life Helen, would tell anyone who suggested it to go fuck themselves," He continued when he reached her. "But can you look at me?"

It took a minute, but she turned around eventually, squeezing her eyes shut and back open.

It wouldn't be helpful to voice in right this second- Everett knew, but the thought at the forefront of his mind when she finally looked at him was how pretty she looked.

They hadn't been so reckless for no reason, after all.

"Forgot about what your anxiety is telling you- how do you feel about this," He said. "Separate from what you think everyone else is gonna think cause I don't care about them, I care about you."

"It's really soon Ev," She said so quiet he almost couldn't hear it. "But I'm not- I'm not upset about the baby itself." Helen continued, letting her gaze fall back on the carpet.

He took one of her hands in his, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles to prompt her to lift her eyes back at him. “And that’s good, cause I'm not either, okay?" He said and gave her hand a squeeze. "Can figure everything else out together like the grownups we are."

Helen nodded with a small "'kay", looking like she was near tears again when Ev got a good look at her face. With a soft "Come 'ere hon," he tucked her into him, face pressed against the side of his neck. He touched his lips to her hair, arms both looped around her shoulders.

"You tell Jeanie yet?" He asked when she seemed to have calmed down some, Helen pulling her head up just enough to look at him. "Mhm," She said, punctuated by a sniffle. "Called her blubbering and she thought something happened to you." She continued with a wet laugh.

Everett gave the side of her head another kiss, swaying her where they stood. "You think she told Croz?" He said with a chuckle.

Helen rolled her eyes at him- but both of them were startled by his phone buzzing in his pocket before she could answer.

He pulled it out, swiping open the notification.

"Well," He said, Helen leaning forward on her tiptoes to get a look at his screen. "I think she might've."

h.croz

You otw home from work yet?

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

45.

45: worst date you’ve ever been on

I haven’t been on very many but I do think I have a decent answer even if I don’t like thinking about it.

Just over a year ago, a trans woman I matched with on tinder invited me with no notice to go to her place to watch a movie and hang out. It was, by all circumstances, not a great idea. I had sudden unplanned events, it was snowing pretty bad, and it was already like 7 pm. However I was in a bout of extreme loneliness and was desperate. So I drove 30 minutes during a snowstorm to get to her place. I want to preface this by saying that I have struggled throughout my life with being kind of a germaphobe. Not like so extreme that I have to wipe down and disinfect my apartment every week or anything like that, but I’m tend to wash my hands waaaaay too much and just be easily grossed out in general. Anyway her place was absolutely disgusting and filthy and a mess. I feel a little bad saying that but like it was bad. I mean I didn’t see like bugs or mold or anything, but everything was covered in stuff that had been carelessly left there, every surface and most of the floor covered in empty food containers and like crumbs and god knows what, that probably doesn’t sound that bad but I don’t know how to describe it better and I don’t want to keep thinking about it much longer. I’m not the neatest person and my apartment is usually a bit of a mess, but the idea of inviting someone over without cleaning it first is so against the way I do things that I was and still am baffled by it. Anyway I didn’t want to judge too much (I really am trying to get over the germaphobia stuff but it’s hard ok) and I was still a very lonely bitch so I sat on her gross crumb covered couch and watched the Sonic the hedgehog movie, (bc I had mentioned to her in a conversation that I never saw it). She was touchy and cuddly and I quickly got kinda overwhelmed but, again, I was super lonely, I hadn’t spent time with anyone in months (unless you count going to classes but I don’t) so I didn’t want to bail. After the movie we talked and she was sweet and cute and she respected my boundaries and worries because I was very inexperienced with anything remotely resembling dating. But it was now like 1 am and there was a snowstorm outside and she was saying I should probably stay the night, even being upfront and saying we don’t have to do anything, but she was hinting that she might want to. But at that point the mess and dirt and whatnot was really getting to me. I went to the bathroom to pee and sort out my thoughts, but it was like 10x nastier in there, I don’t want to describe it even thinking about it makes me want to take a shower. After that I wanted to be as far from there as possible. I told her as politely as I could but probably not that politely, that I had already gone way out of my comfort zone and that I wanted to go. This wasn’t a lie or anything, basically everything I did that night was well beyond my usual comfort zone that night. She seemed very disappointed but I was beyond feeling bad anymore, I got out of there and went to my car where I rubbed my hand with hand sanitizer like three times and drove home through the blizzard going at a snails pace on the highway bc of the weather, and the whole time I felt like throwing up. When I finally got home over an hour later I took a shower for like another hour.

Now that I typed all that out I’m realizing I used way more words than I needed to say that my worst date was going to a girls place and it was really gross so I didn’t stay longer than a few hours. It’s also not like much of an interesting story and I wrote all that out and relived those memories for what is ultimately not that interesting.

Although even if the circumstances were different I still don’t think I would like the sonic movie

[c0rpseductor]

man i just like. blugh. ER

i dont really know where to begin with how i feel about it. part of me feels silly trying to Process it like it was Traumatic but every time ive been in a hospital it sucks and it just gets compounded by how hospital environments remind me of the institution from when i was a teenager and its just like. genuinely really overwhelming.

the first night when i got back i had nightmares about being back in the ER as soon as i went to sleep. i couldn't look at my arm that had the IV in it and just being able to feel where the IV had been made me really unsettled and anxious and sick. the second i got home and ate i slammed some tylenol PM and went right to sleep bc i couldnt take it. i remember waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and another part having to remind me i wasnt in the hospital anymore so i didnt panic again.

i just like. when it was dark bc they had turned the light off for my head in that back room, something about it felt so much like that first night at the institution, and the IV really hurt, and i was stuck lying on my back shivering in the dark feeling like i could barely move bc of the IV and so there was nothing for me to do but lie there feeling that pain like. i was so panicked i could barely even think straight, it still like, idk. i dont want to think about it but i feel so hung up on it. i was so fucking scared that even though the IV meds didnt really fix my headache i INSISTED i felt better just so i could have it out of me as soon as possible and go home. i can still see and feel that moment so vividly if i think about it. my mom had this like, oat milk bottled starbucks thing from the hospital cafeteria and a little of it spilled in my bag and even the day after catching how it smelled just made me feel sick with fear.

idk. i just hate hospitals so much. and it was especially awful because there were so many people and nobody was getting seen and i was in the waiting room in pain for most of the time, like 6 hours we were there and most of that was waiting. there was this older woman in the waiting room who was extremely disoriented and coughing loudly and kind of confusedly wandering around sometimes and crying out in pain or begging for help and the nurses didn't pay any attention to her really and everyone else in the waiting room just kind of tried to politely ignore her and the whole thing made me feel awful. at one point she was saying she was cold so i asked them to bring her an extra blanket and they did and im not sure she was even really too aware of what was going on, like when i asked if she wanted another blanket she didnt even respond, but i hated that she was so clearly going through it and nobody cared. it was really swamped but it was just awful to see anyway. and then when mom and i left, there were people sleeping on the floor in the waiting room bc it was getting close to 10 at night and they were still swamped.

idk. it was just really scary and painful and stressful and hard to deal with on top of already being in pain and having been in pain for a week and bedridden for days. and it was so fucked and disorienting i guess to go from being willing to do anything to make the headache stop to being willing to do anything to get the fuck out of the hospital and get that fucking needle out of my arm

[the1975attheirverybest]

Hii 🖤 I know you've been asked this before and already written these but wanted to ask you if you could write a blurb where the reader is in a subspace but they agreed before that she needs space afterwards not his atteniton. So he does as she asked him before but it doesn't end well.

I understand if you dont bc you have written a lot of these. Thank you for being here I love everything you write, you are really talented love you ❤️

Oh, of course!! Never apologize for sending in a request my dear. And thank you so much for your kind words and for reading 💗🥹🥹 you’re so sweet.

—

“Holy, shit!” Matty laughed to himself, sitting back in bed to catch his breath. “I really needed that stress relief, not gonna lie.” He smiled at her. She looked a bit hazy as she stared back at him silently. “Hey, you with me?” He spoke softly.

She nodded.

Matty knew that she tended to be sensitive to touch and louder noises when coming down from an experience like this, so he wanted to be careful and composed when interacting with her. He opted for an even tone of voice, simple words, clear statements. Nothing too overwhelming or emotional.

“Okay, I think you’re still a bit blurry, honey. Listen, I’m gonna clean you up before I go, is that okay with you?”

“Y-yeah.”

Hearing her finally give him a verbal response eased his worry a bit. He hurried into the bathroom, grabbing all the supplies that he’s prepared in advance, as per their routine.

“Gonna wipe between your legs first, is that alright?” She nodded. “Tell me to stop if you need me to, okay?”

She’s heard these instructions countless times before, but they still gave her comfort. Both because they re-affirmed that she was safe with him, and because the familiarity of knowing what he was going to say next, after a long night of him keeping her on her feet, always felt good. He carried out their clean up routine exactly as he always does, talking her thorough it slowly like he always did.

“Want me to help dress you? Run you a bath?”

She shook her head no and watched him disappear out of the room. She laid her head back on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling, feeling numb.

Matty reappeared in the doorway moments later startling her.

“Oh! Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you…”

“I thought you’d left!” She yelled out, mostly out of reflex.

“Christ- sorry, no. I said I was going to be back. Guess you didn’t hear me. I just- umm, brought you some water and a snack….you know, just in case.”

She nodded, giving him the green light to come into the room.

He set the water and protein bar down carefully, reaching for his leather jacket which had landed on the floor when she’d undressed him earlier in the night.

“Well, alright, then. Guess I’m all done. Unless you’d like me to stay?”

“No, Matty. You know how I’m like. You should go.”

“I could, umm, sleep downstairs? On the couch? Really, I’m probably gonna end up on Ross’s couch later tonight anyway, so-“

She gave him a weak smile. “Go see Ross. I’m okay, really.”

“Alright, then. I love you, darling.”

***

She woke up to the sound of her phone vibrating against the nightstand. The sunlight shining through the window felt like an assault on her eyes as she adjusted to her surroundings. Through droopy eyes, she blinked twice before she could read the caller ID. It was Matty. Which wasn’t entirely unexpected. He’d made a deal with her that he would always call the next day to check in.

“He-hello?” Her voice was barely heard.

“Hey! Are you home?” Matty’s voice cheery from the other end of the line.

“Yeah, why?”

“Good, cuz, im about two minutes away. Got us coffee and donuts.”

She panicked. While it was customary for Matty to check in the next day, he’d never done it by simply showing up uninvited. She tossed the phone away, jolting to her feet. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” The room was a mess. She was a mess. Everything was exactly as Matty had left it the night before. She needed to do something and she needed to do it, fast.

She managed to make the bed, rather messily, and crack open a window before she heard the sound of Matty’s footsteps rushing up the stairs. She was regretting that spare key she’d given him.

“What the fuck, mate, you can’t just leave me on the phone like that!” She heard Matty call out before he even made it into the bedroom. “Oh, thank god you’re alright! Fuckin scared me.” He said as soon as he landed eyes on her and saw that she was in tact and standing in her own bedroom.

“Alright, so I know you have a thing for glazed donuts. So, I got every kind of glaze they had.” He set the food down and turned to look at her, which is when he began to take in his surroundings.

Her clothes where right where he’d left them. Her open purse from last night, the pack of condoms they’d opened, her dress, right down to the glass of water and protein bar that he’d brought her. It was all exactly where he’d last seen it. Matty fell silent, slowly looking her up and down. She was wearing one of his t shirts.

“B-baby? Is- umm- are you okay?”

He didn’t need to ask her that. Of course she wasn’t. The bags under her eyes, her hair, her lips, the fact that she’d been in bed until he’d called…she was anything but fine.

She felt nervous, extremely aware of his eyes watching her. She reached for the coffee that he’d brought, but he simply took it away, out of her reach. “Not until you answer me.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Fuckin say something, please. I’m officially scared now.”

“I-I’m fine, Matty.”

“Right. Is that why you’ve done nothing all day?”

“You don’t- know that!” She crossed her arms over her chest, feeling defensive.

“But I know you. I know you’d rather die than leave your room a mess. Tell me, if I walk into that bathroom over there, am I gonna see that my used condom from last night, and the stuff I cleaned you up with, are the only thing in the trash? Hmm?”

She turned away from him, walking to the bed and sitting on the end of it.

Matty grabbed the water from the nightstand and followed her. “Drink this. Now.”

“I-“

“Wasn’t a request.”

She could feel his silent rage radiating from his body. So, reluctantly, she did as he said.

“No. Finish all of it.”

She gulped it down until it was empty, and then made a show of proving that to him.

Finally, he sat down. “Okay, now you can have some coffee while you talk to me. What’s going on?”

At such close proximity, she couldn’t pretend she was blind to the pain and confusion all over his face. Her eyes stung with tears as she began to speak. “I- I just don’t feel good. I don’t know why.” She shrugged.

“H-how long have you felt this way?” He asked, clearly hurt already.

“Matty-“

“How long, my love?” Though he’d called her “my love” he’d said it with a firmness that altered its meaning.

“Since you left” she stared down at her feet, ashamed.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you call, text, or say something?”

No longer able to stomach the thought of having upset him, she began to cry. “I- I didn’t know how! I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I’m not always perfect! But- we- we have our aftercare agreement for a reason. You know that!”

His hardened expression melted away at the sight of her tears running down her face. He reached over, wiping her face with his hand. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m sorry. Don’t cry. Please.” He set down his coffee to give her a hug. “Baby, what I know is that you prefer to have your own space after rough nights like last night. And, that’s usually what makes you feel better.”

She nodded into his shirt. “Helps me process.”

“Darling, I’m not trying to be mean, but by the looks of things, you weren’t really processing much last night.”

She pulled away from him and looked him in the eyes. “I- didn’t. Only moved to- umm” she felt her cheeks flush with blood. “To get your shirt out of the closet. Wanted it cuz it smelled like you.”

“Oh, baby…”

“Just laid in bed after that-“

“Crying.” He finished the sentence for her. He knew it. As soon as he saw her eyes this morning, he know something wasn’t right.

She nodded. Embarrassed.

“Baby, you should’ve called me as soon as you felt it.”

“I thought it was just a fleeting moment that would pass! You said you were gonna go see Ross and the guys, I didn’t wanna-“

“If I had known that you needed me? I’d have dropped everything and came straight back here to hold you and love on you all night.”

She felt butterflies flutter in her stomach at the thought. “Really?”

“Are you kidding me? Of course! What we did last night- it was intense. It’s completely normal for you to be feeling a bit off after. And- I would’ve liked to help make you feel better.”

She nodded, finally taking in his point of view.

“Well, it’s not too late. I’d still like to do it, if that’s okay with you? Will you let me look after you today? Hmm? Make it up to you, maybe help you get some sleep, even?”

She felt herself well up, again, nodding slowly. “Please. I’d like that.”

[evansbby]

OMGGMGG the new chapter of WG!!!!!!  You have out done yourself again girlie!! 💕💕 So I reread WG before reading UTI (HELLPPP it’s supposed to stand for under the influence😭💀💀) so I could remebe everything. We cna rlly see how much of a fucking bitch ari is I’m actually so upset. I love to be so main character when reading that I act out everything that’s happening while reading so i was crying so much bc I love angst sometiems even though it hurts. Ok so let’s Do a breakdown: Spotting Ari from across the room and he already has his sights on her. Getting the context about what went down after WG was kinda sad like making eye contact w him on campus while hes with Sharon and he has the nerve to look sheepish he’s so mean. And the texts from him when the last one said Fuck you. I have other options s. Just made me feel so unspecial. Like he was probably fucking other girls right along with reader. Curtis showing up🙈🙈 he made a fruity pink drink for her 😍😍 but I’m pretty sure he drugged it or laced it so we knew what he rlly wanted to do with her. When Ari said I’m your daddy  SKSJSKSJSK I WAS WAITING FKR THAT PARTTT!! I rlly hated how he made her take the drugs tho like come on if you cared abt her u wouldn’t do that 😕😕 and the guys in the background pointing out how intoxicated she is when they were fucking like no come on 😭😭 But that scene was so fucking hot I can’t lie 😈😈😈 and then I liked that he shielded her up to the bathroom. My favourite part was when Ari and reader were in the bathroom and laughing and tickling each other AND HE CLEANED HER UP!!! and it was so sweet like he actually cared and that made me so happy and then he switched and it made me so mad bc he was being so mean like if he didn’t like Sharon just break up liek you’re already cheating on her you idiot. And I would honestly be so fucking distraught if this happened to me and I am naive sometiems so I honestly feel like I would have fallen for this too 😔😔🙏 but losing your virginity to a guy who does not give two shits about u???  (Or does he??😏😏) But it broke my heart like he just left her there on the counter after she begged him to stay (when he said Sharon’s drunk and she said I’m drunk too 🥲🥲 and he just left) and she just sat in the tub and cried??  and then when she was outside and she met Steve I thought it would be so sweet he was so nice and he had such light aura vibes like I thought he would be a sweetheart (he was not 💀). And then when Sharon stumbled over that description made me so sad. Like she’s so beautiful obviously feelings of insecurity rise up in reader bc ofc Ari would chose her over me and I like to make things extra dramatic and Ik it’s reader insert so it doesn’t apply to everyone but I’m brown so seeing the guy choose the pretty blonde girl but keeping you as his semi secret side piece probably definitely hurts and makes you feel like you’re not good enough. I rlly wish Sharon threw up on Ari when she said she didn’t feel good😭💀💀And Ari ls such a fucking dick thinking that he had the right to still call her baby after that shit went down in the bathroom but it’s apparent that he kind of cares for her or is it possessiveness?? Idk I just wish he made her feel wanted like that’s so sad. And the battle of choosing to stay or go? I wanted her to go but I didn’t know Steve would pull that shit. And then when Steve seemed disappointed that they were going back to her place I just knew he was bad news. And slipping the cab driver money 🫢🫢 Making her call him daddy and choking her just like Ari did, déjà vuuu. But then he walked her to her door 🥰🥰🥰(the bar is on the floor). And then plugging her phone in and getting all those messages from Ari but just not having the energy to respond bc she know she won’t get anywhere like my heart felt like it was going through the wringer. I listened to that song Jacob and the stone during every single sad part and ugh my heart 💔💔 

Now for the questions:

Idk if I’m team Steve or Ari 😭 Ari def feels some sort of possessiveness over reader, and he doesn’t care for Sharon so what’s stopping him? He lied to her so many times and manipulates her a lot BUT HE CARESS. And then Steve, at first I thought he only sought her out for revenge against Ari but we learn that he didn’t know her and Ari were connected (side note: also reader still doesn’t know that Steve is the captain and not just a player on the other team and that Ari and him are rival rivals) so that means he did have some interest in her but that too seemed to be even more misguided after he found out abt them. Does he want her for her? (meaning her body bc did he ever actually care abt her for her and not her body bc I can’t tell after he seemed so disappointed in not heading back to his place) He’s really mean like meaner than Ari and he honestly makes me feel unsafe 😭😭 so actually I think I’m going to pick team Ari. Ari just has to change  but he’s daddy so I know he will😔🙏🙏. But I’m really excited to explore the love triangle so we’ll see but I rlly want her and Ari to end up together lik it just seems right. 

They’re rival team captains but maybe their families are super rich so they just grew up in the same social circle and they’ve been competing in everything since they were kids whether that be in who has the best marks, cars, girls, etc.

Ari has confused feelings for reader. (Also completely off topic I’m srry but I forgot to mention when he said that he never used condoms with Sharon and mentioned knocking reader up bc he always fucks her raw and comes deep inside of her (I loved that part) 🤭🤭🤭 and that he would always used condoms with Sharon, that means that reader is special 🤭🤭but yeah Ari def is confused maybe he’s never felt real feelings towards a girl befor and he likes reader? Loves her?🤞🏽🤞🏽I don’t trust Steve but also it’s understandable that he may seem like a better option bc he isn’t shy to show that he wants reader even tho he is just using her ☹️☹️

Okay so that concludes my rant. I am honestly so so sorry I know this was really long please forgive me 😭😭 but whenever I read I always have to write my thoguhts down and word vomit every single  thing that comes to mind so eveyrhinf is so all over the place and there’s probably typos bc I’m rambling I’m rlly sorry. This chapter was so good and I’m so excited for the next part 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽 thank you so much for sharing with us hoes 💕🤍🤍

-🦕

DINO ANON OMFG?!? THIS REVIEW?!? AHHHHH THANK U THANK U THANK U🩷🩷🩷✨✨

OK FIRSTLY WHY IS IT UTI OMFG HELP I didn’t even realise that 😭😭

Omg Ari’s texts 😭😭 “fuck you I have other options” I mean he does but he’s texting reader obsessively multiple times so he obviously has a preference of who he wants to be with 😭😭 boys are so dumb fr fr fr

And omf the bathroom scene 😢😢 I deliberately made them have a sweet moment where they were laughing and he actually cleaned her up when before he never did any aftercare at all! Bc I knew that this way it would hit harder when he left her all alone in the bathroom. AND YES ahhh it broke my heart too when reader quietly said “I’m drunk too…” bc it’s like… he cares that Sharon is drunk but what about reader??? 😢😢😢😢😢😢

It’s so important to me abojt what you said about being a brown girl so it hits extra hard. Bc as a brown girl myself, a lot of the times this is how I feel 😢😢 They always pick the white girl… no matter how hard we try or how good we look for them… we’re always the secret hookup and never the girlfriend and now that you mentioned it, it kinda validates my feelings too LIKE DO WE ALL LIVE THE SAME LIFE FR 😢😢😢

BUT also it’s funny you mentioned how you hope Sharon threw up on Ari after Steve and reader left bc SHE DID! I actually wrote that!!! But it didn’t sound quite right so I cut it out and I meant to go back and rewrite it but I forgot!!! But Sharon DID throw up on Ari that’s why Ari didn’t immediately go after Steve and reader before they got lost in the crowd 😭😭😭😭😨😨😨

As for Steve, YES YES YES I dropped little hints throughout about him being a red flag… the way he was so forward, the things he was saying, the way he was acting, how he was so touchy when he didn’t even know her??? BABY READER NEEDS TO BEWARE OF THIS MAN!!!

And yes, he choked reader just like Ari did, and he even said the same line: “do it or I’ll choke you the fuck out” I think you and maybe two other people noticed this from what I’ve read!!! HMMMMMMM

Also yes the bar is literally on the FLOOR and that’s why I think people are thinking Steve is this sweet and nice guy when really… 🤭🤭🤭🥲🥲

I want to reply in more detail but my app is getting all slow which means it’s gonna crash any second but one last thing YES YES THE PART WHERE ARI SAID HE WOULD NEVER FUCK HER HOW HE FUCKS SHARON AND HE WOULD NEVER KNOCK SHARON UP AHHHHHH I LOVED WRITINF THAT PART THANK YOU FOR RECOGNISINF IT

[kawaikylian]

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯

JUDE BELLINGHAM

After a break up, you have a mission

To be happier.

Life had been horrible, I couldn’t handle the obscene comments from the press concerning my recent break up with Neymar, in reality our breakup was fast and easy.

We both agreed we had no more feelings and that we would continue on being friends, but for some reason JC one of the most famous journalists had written a full blown essay exposing every detail about our relationship, except it was all a lie.

Layered with drama and unnecessary words like “cheating” and “abortion” it was all to much, I texted Neymar and he was pretty worried about all the drama, twitter ran wild.

𝘚𝘺𝘭𝘦𝘺𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘰𝘤𝘩𝘰<3:nah bc did luz cheat or did Neymar cheat…..

𝘐𝘵𝘴𝘺𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭𝘫𝘢𝘻:def Neymar, he’s a play boy.

𝘕𝘦𝘺𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘫𝘳𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘴: is this your address Jaz? **** **** **

Calissa was stubborn and convinced me to go to a “small party” turns out it was a full blown mansion with around 300+ people singing to bad bunny, “I have to admit I don’t blame you, this is great break from you know…everything”

Calissa hugs me “im gonna go grab some drinks mkay…” she begins to walk away and I hear a small “GET SOME DICK!” I gasp and chuckle.

My eyes blur out, I can hear music in the distance fading and I feel tired it had only been around 10 minutes inside the mansion and I felt like shit, I think to myself a drink will fix this I remind myself that Calissa is at the bar stand, I follow leads and see a blue dress Calissa.

It takes a few steps before I end up loosing my footing “shit!” I fall hitting my elbow on a strange tall man, I hear a splash, looking up I see an orange liquid split on the man’s black shirt, I notice how firm it looks on his abs, “IM SO SORRY!” I start to panic this man looks fancy and rich ,so privileged.

I’m on the floor picking up broken glass parts, I accidentally cut myself which makes me whimper “oh shit are you okay” I hear him mumble but the party music is so too loud, I push my way into the dancing crowd, I’m being practically smushed in between the sweating body’s.

I head into one of the bathrooms noticing how dirty people had left it, I grab a piece of toilet paper wrapping it around my bleeding wound, I groan pressing it, I press until I feel no more blood dripping and until it’s dry.

As I hold the paper against my skin I think about the tall man and how I didn’t get a deep close look on his hair and eyes, god I think it would’ve been a great privilege, I realize I thought to much when I hear loud knocking on the door.

Minutes later

I decided to dance, even after cutting myself I did not care as I danced I still felt blood drip, but I also felt a pair of hands land on my waist it was freedom Freedom from my last relationship, I even hoped people took pictures of this moment to know me and Neymar had been done.

I grab his arms pressing them harder onto my waist moving one to my hips to feel how hard I swayed them, I’m Hispanic and Latina we are known to be amazing dancers, i turn around to see the same man.

Both of our eyes gleam noticing one another but we don’t move instead we go a lot more passionately this time, his arms tight around my body and I turn to press a small kiss on his lips, he wants more but I don’t agree and he allows that.

So instead his lips go onto my neck pressing small kisses, I hear a camera flash and I smirk, I needed the press to be distracted maybe another kiss wouldn’t be so bad, I grab his chin slowly and I press my lips against his, he’s surprised especially from my last rejection.

This time our mouths move faster, we spit in each others mouth and he presses his tongue inside, I hear another camera flutter and flash, I smirk into the kiss pulling away,

I grin at him, I notice he excepts more but instead I walk away swaying my hips as if nothing happened.

Manager Ashley and O calling….

[gloryride]

I'm so torn between the ' El Coyote Cojo Adventures' and 'Sarto freres conversation' *jumps back and forth not able to decide* U DECIDE? sdfgh hep me aaahh.

Hehehe choice will be easy bc i already share a snippet about El Coyote Cojo Adventures, so let's do Sarto brothers !

[WIP GAME]

For context, I have the idea that Virgile knows his brother Enzo is seeing someone, but since they've never talked about relationships (Virgile left the clan when Enzo was only 13), neither of them knows how to discuss it. At the story's beginning, Virgile is smoking outside his window when he sees his brother get out of a car, smiling, without seeing the driver.

Virgile looked down at his neck and made an amused face, "You had a good time yesterday, you have…" Without saying the word "hickey", he patted his neck, "right here." Enzo leapt to his feet, red as a tomato, and ran to the bathroom, muttering in Italian, "Don't tell me he gave me a hickey like a schoolboy! How am I going to hide this?" and disappeared into the other room. It wasn't true, of course; he had nothing, but Virgile laughed at the spontaneous reaction, especially at the fact that it could have happened. He headed into the kitchen to get two beers out of the fridge and leaned against the wall, facing the curtain separating the bathroom from the kitchen, lighting another cigarette. They'd probably need this package to start chatting like adults, even if the beginning felt like a teenage prank. "I ain't see nothin'!" he exclaimed before adding an "oh …" of surprise, realizing he'd just been fooled. Enzo left the bathroom, his gaze on the floor and his hand on the back of his neck, looking embarrassed to have been so reactive to a lie. After inhaling a puff of nicotine, Virgile held out the welcome cigarette as a sign of peace, despite a smirk on his lips. "It's a he, then?" "Why did you trap me like that? You could just ask!" In spite of a sulky look on his face, Enzo took the cigarette, a good sedative for anxious smokers like them. Big brother shrugged, uncapping beers with his lighter like any good nomad. "If I'd asked if you had anyone, you'd have said no, blushed, shook your head, and changed the subject." "Ché? Mà…" but Virgile cut him off to pursue. "Are you going to lie to me? We suck at lying, little brother." the cap popped off the bottle and fell back on the counter with a clatter." You don't have to tell me everything. But at least tell me you're happy." Enzo remained silent for a moment, then a smile lit up his face again, and his sparkling green eyes turned to his brother, "Si, I am."

[bucketofchum]

Ugh oh my god rereading some teenTumu Teen AU archive shit and this shit hurts my heart

Was just reading the beginning part where he first gets transferred to the school and it's SO obvious to Startop that he's being abused. Atumu LOVES school and wouldn't miss it for the world, and he just randomly disappears for a few days and then comes back looking a little tired and bruised. Changes in the bathroom stalls instead of in the lockerroom for gym class to hide the bruises (Star can recognize this behaviour because he does the same for his SH scars)

Star confronts him about the time he was missing from school "Were you sick?" And Atumu, clueless, is like "No?" "Then why did you miss school?" Atumu, ever the terrible liar, would then backtrack on his answer (bc he is realising why Star is asking) and be like "oh yeah i was feeling under the weather the past few days. I was contagious, so had to stay out of school." Honestly the worst liar.

Star pulls him into the handicapped bathroom stall to confront him about his bruises. Lifts up his shirt to reveal all the bruises and be like "What's all this then?" And Atumu is a SUPER SHITTY LIAR and tries to explain it away with SPORTS. (He knows nothing about sports). Like "oh yeah i was trying out for some sports teams. I accidentally hit myself with a baseball bat haha silly me i felt so stupid" and it's the most obvious lie in the world, Star is obviously not buying it and is annoyed that Atumu won't admit something is wrong. He smacks Atumu in the arm on one of the bruises and that immediately sends Atumu into panic defense mode and he backs himself into the corner of the bathroom on the ground and shields his body from any further blows. Seeing Atumu like this is so pathetic and honestly SO HEART BREAKING that Star actually starts crying cuz he's seeing this kid being beat and won't admit it.

Atumu's kind of reeling rn bc basically his Only Friend(tm) in school (and in life) just hit him, and he's scared and doesn't know why, and seeing Star crying now is just ????? Tries to offer a tissue, but Star smacks it away and leaves cuz he doesn't want Atumu to see him crying.

And the following few days are weird and tense cuz Atumu's like...trying to mentally justify Star hitting him (Startop was just lashing out in frustration) and the only way Atumu can rationalise it is that it is okay for Startop or his foster dad to hit him, and he probably did something to deserve it, and maybe the people who care about you also hit you. Next time he and Star talk, Star apologises for hitting Atumu and Atumu says "it's okay" and Star says "No it's not."

Stars angry that Atumu is going through this and won't admit it to anyone, and it was so heartbreaking, sad, and pathetic to see him curled up on the bathroom floor shielding himself in fear, and he won't even acknowledge being abused...

Oi anyhow

These boys

[badluvkii]

saw vii

(skipping to saw x after this bc i’m not doing the spin offs i cba w them)

público execution :

if i was one of the guys idk let’s imagine my first ex the groomer ex gf who actually cheated on me was there w the person she cheated on me w . idk she’s hot but i’d probably, no i’d kill the other person bc i have jealousy issues and i hated the person that she cheated on me w so i’d kill that person . but also my groomer ex traumatized me in a lot of ways so maybe i’d kill her , but she was nice sometimes so probably the person she cheated on me w (the person knew she was dating me)

horsepower trap :

uh first off i love that they put racists in the trap , all of them got what they deserved. id probably rip my back off if i was the man tho , i’d i was anyone else i’d just hope i live

silence circle :

i’ve talked ab this , i’m immune to anaesthetic so i have felt a lot of pain without anaesthetic in hospitals and dentists and i had to keep silent bc i didn’t wanan annoy anyone so i think i’d be ok , but that fish hook probably FUCKED up her oesophagus

impailment wheel :

if that fucking spikes got too close to me i’d tell him to pick up the closest dangerous object and kill me , i am not getting my eyes impailed . i have a phobia of eyes

whatever the fuck the hanging ones called :

id just listen and find the fucking key??? he stressed too much and fucked it up . or id scream at the guy to get the key for me and threaten him if he didn’t

wisdom teeth combination :

easy , i got 8 teeth removed at age 14 with no anaesthetic. i’m gonna be ok

chest hook thing :

i made a joke saying he has no boobs unlike hoffman and only hoffman could do this trap bc of his strong amazing boobs but i have big tits so i think i’d be able to . but like also i dont wanan peirce my tits , but my gf? no . id put my feet in the non spiky part of the hook and go up without harming myself !!

brazen bull :

i mean its up to bobby but i’d be so depressed if i got burnt can’t lie , but i’d get horny if i was pulled closer to the floor by the chain each trap like wow

lawnmower trap :

GIRL GET HIM GONEEEEE. KICK HIM KICK HIM KICK HIM

pain train :

didn’t happen . if hoffman was standing there ab to kill me id give myslef a happy ending if ykwim , it’s very fast death but oh well id try

“yk the only bad thing ab killing u //miisha//“ , and i’m creaming

reverse beartrap 3.0 (jill version) :

no chance of living but id try , but also being tied to a chair by hoffman as he hotly watched ? id try seduce him . or id try give myself a happy ending . wait nvm i realised both times i said that are traps their hands were tied so i couldn’t but whatever . hoffman tying me up to a chair and watching me hotly?? wow

hoffman bathroom trap :

knowing hoffman , i’m suprised he didn’t do what i’d do . i woudlnt reach for the saw id break my foot to get out the chain and grab the saw and try fucking kill lawrence w the saw after i get out the bathroom

(longggg saw thread ab to be)

would i live or die , every saw trap (not doing jigsaw + spiral bc that’s too long)

saw i :

reverse beartrap (amanda version) :

id defo live im ripping that key out asap . only issue could be me finding the key bc who knows how quickly you’ll find it . id be ripping everything out to find it . i’m fine . idgaf ab the other guy

flammable jelly :

this trap is so ,, weird?? i mean it’s pretty much imposible but i’d try till the end and wouldn’t give up . probably would die tho

razor maze :

yeah i’m living . the guy freaked out too much , just keep GOINGGGG . this trap can’t do worse to me than i’ve already done to myself i’ve felt cuts too much i’ll be ok bc i used to sh lmao . just fucking do it

bathroom trap :

who fucking knows atp if i was lawrence i’d kill the other person but the fact it’s adam makes it hard bc i love him . i wouldn’t let myself get emotionally attatxhed and i’d just kill them . if i became an apprentice like lawrence i WOULDNT LOCK HOFFMAN IN THE BATHROOM??? id give him a good time if he wanted it 🤭

if i was adam i’d just hope i don’t die and do stuff to prevent it . also i probably wouldn’t wake up as worried as adam so i woudlnt flush the key down

quadruple shotgun :

idk bc i’m really well-judging ab stuff so i think i’d be cautious . i think of loads of ways to get myself out of trouble whenever i act so i think id be observing everything and notice THE MASSIVE SHOTGUNS???? especially if john warned me are you silly

zep’s test :

man i don’t know id feel bad if it was a mother and daughter , i’d probably just cut myself and die by myself

drill chair :

still don’t fully understand this cant lie but as i said i’m goof at getting myself out of bad situations so i think i’d love but i’m also a leo

[softspiderling]

speak now (or forever hold your peace) | b.r.b.

summary: it's supposed to be the happiest day of your life.

pairing: bradley “rooster” bradshaw x reader

warnings: angst??? IDK! also violence

word count: 5,5k

author’s note: this has been sitting in my drafts for SO LONG! and then i decided to write the entire fucking thing, i'm not even joking, this fic was very much different two days ago but i have been waiting for the perfect moment and i guess it’s now🤭 thank you to sol who has been expressing her excitement for this fic (and we laughed about taylor swift inspired fics, bc this is OBVIOUSLY inspired by speak now (and that one japril moment. you know which one)). I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!!!

Fixing the collar of his suit, Bradley stared at his reflection in the mirror. He had opted against his dress-whites, knowing you preferred him in a normal suit. Now however, he severely regretted it, missing the layer of protection his dress-whites provided him. He felt stuffy in the suit, vulnerable. He wondered if there was still enough time to go home and change, when there was a knock on the door. 

“Hey, you just gonna stay in here for the whole ceremony?”

Natasha was eyeing him carefully, not an ounce of shame present on her face, even though she was standing halfway in the men’s bathroom. Bradley put up a brave face, but he knew that she’d see right through it. God, he could already see the pitiful looks on his friends as soon as he’d step out the door again.

“I just- needed to fix my bowtie,” Bradley sniffed, straightening said bow-tie before turning to look at her. Natasha raised an eyebrow at him.

“You’re good, right? No regrets? No desire to ditch?”

Bradley looked back into the mirror to avoid Natasha’s gaze, resisting the urge to run his hands through his hair. He had been thinking about ditching the second he entered the venue, but that would just be taking the easy way out. You were his friend, and he should be there for arguably one of the most important days of your life. His own feelings be damned.

“No, this is her wedding. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. It just… Sucks.” 

Natasha didn’t reply, clearly waiting for him to elaborate, her arms crossed over her chest. Judging by her face, he wouldn’t get around it. She always disapproved of the reasons why you and him didn’t work out.  

“I mean. I knew that this day would eventually come. She’s always been open about wanting to get married and you know, settling down and all. But I thought I had more time to get over her. I mean, I probably won’t ever get over her, but... I sound stupid, don’t I?”

“Yes.”

There was no hesitation in Natasha’s voice and Bradley shot her a pained look. With a sigh, she uncrossed her arms and fully stepped inside the bathroom, shutting the door behind her and leaning against it.

“I’m sorry you feel this way. You know how I always used to say that the two of you were kind of perfect together. Honestly, I still think that. But it’s literally the day of her wedding. You made your bed, now you have to lie in it. It’s too late now.”

Bradley’s chest tightened, and nodded quickly, dropping his gaze to the floor. “Yeah… Yeah I know.”

“I’m sorry,” Natasha said, reaching out to squeeze arm. “I wish things would’ve been different.”

So did he.

With a deep breath, Bradley glanced at the mirror one last time, before he put his hand on the door knob, straightening his shoulders. “Okay. Let’s go, before you get caught trying to sneak a peak.”

Bradley stepped out of the bathroom and was immediately thrown back into the bustling crowd, full of nicely dressed people. Even Callie, your maid of honor, had cleaned up nicely. 

“Hey, wasn’t sure you’d make it,” she said, not unkind, eyeing him up and down. “She’s down the hall, if you want to say hi.”

Bradley gave her a curt nod, before leaving Natasha to her girlfriend, walking down the hall, looking over his shoulder as the two women watched him go, conversing quietly. Callie had been cold ever since you broke up with him, treating him cordially, like a colleague, but never as a friend. And he didn't blame her, really.

He knocked on the brown door, before stepping inside, where you were sitting in front of the vanity, dressed in a white fluffy robe.

“Hey. How’s the blushing bride?”

“Hi,” you said and he smiled at you, somewhat sorrowfully, taking a seat on the ottoman across from you. “I’m kind of nervous.”

“Pretty sure that’s normal wedding day jitters,” Bradley joked. 

You gave him a self-deprecating smile, clearly lost in thoughts. 

“You okay?”

Bradley’s brows furrowed in worry as he took in your face and the slight frown. People said that wedding jitters were especially nerve-wracking, but you had always been a champ. And you had been looking forward to your wedding day ever since you were a little girl, he knew that.

“Yeah. Just can’t believe it’s finally my wedding day, you know?”

Bradley pressed his lips together, cupping your cheek gently. “I’m happy for you. Henry is a good man and he treats you the way you deserve to be treated. I’m really glad that you found someone who can give you what you want.”

Even though I wish I could give you what you needed.

You smiled at him, your eyes glassy. Wedding jitters really were something, huh?

“Guess your life plan really is on its track, isn’t it?” 

You choked out a laugh and he grinned at you warmly, squeezing your hand. He grabbed a tissue from the vanity, pressing it gently against your lower lash line so as to not ruin your make-up. 

“Do you want me to give you away?”

“W-what?”

He flushed, realizing his poor choice of words. 

“Do you want me to walk you down the aisle?” he rephrased and you chuckled drily, shaking your head.

“Oh, um, no. I’m good, thank you.”

Nodding, Bradley stood to leave, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek, holding onto your shoulder a bit too long than necessary before walking towards the door. He paused, just before crossing over the threshold, turning back like he wanted to say something. Bradley took a deep breath, his lips parted, the words almost tumbling out of his mouth, before he shut his mouth and just like that, he stepped out of the room, the falling shut behind him quietly.

Bradly breathed out harshly, rubbing a hand over his face, wondering if you were thinking about the same thing he was.

“Where is this going, Bradley?”

Bradley’s been ordered for a special deployment overseas. It was all hush-hush, and he didn’t know how long it was going to take and it made you face the impending doom of your relationship. Honestly, he  knew it was stupid to start something with you in the first place. From the first time you talked, you had made it clear that you wanted to find a good man and settle down, have a family and a house with a white picket fence.

Something he could never give you. 

He was still young when his father had died, but he grew up watching his mother juggle with the job of a parent, a job that was supposed to be filled by two parents. Bradley swore that he’d never do this to anyone he loved, that he’d never settle down and have a family himself. 

You didn’t have time to date someone and “see where this is going”. Even so, Bradley had always orbited you, drawn to your carefree attitude and your fierce loyalty towards the people you loved. His stance on settling down was about the only thing that held the two of you back. Instead, you danced around each other, flirted mercilessly, were friends. 

Just friends.

But after a night full of tequila shots and Bradley on the piano, he got weak. And he’d been weak ever since.

Things with you were simple, and it was almost scary how the two of you fell into a relationship that was so intense and burning, he should have known that this would blow up in his face one day.

“What do you mean? The mission isn’t going to take forever, half a year tops. You’ll still be here when I get back, yeah?”

He pulled one of his signature Hawaiian shirts out of his closet and threw it over his tank top, barely paying attention to the conversation. 

“Bradley, I am serious.”

With a glance over his shoulder, Bradley took one look at your face, before he crossed the distance between you, sitting on the bed. Lifting his hand, he stroked your cheek gently, a somber look on his face. 

“I want to get married.”

The words visibly cut him and Bradley immediately shut down, shaking his head as he pulled his hand away. Deep down, he’d known that this conversation was coming. He had been pushing it off, distracting you with slow kisses and wandering hands, but there was no pushing it off now. “You know I don’t want to. You’ve always known. Why are you bringing this up?”

“You’ve always known what I wanted, Bradley. What is it, what we’re doing here? Are we just gonna keep dating until we’re old?”

“Why are you turning this into an argument?” Bradley asked defensively, his cheeks turning red, like every time he got mad. “Fine, we both knew going into this that we’ve had different plans for the future, but I thought-”

“You thought what? That I’d just abandon the life I’ve always wanted?”

“This isn’t fair,” Bradley snapped. “Why can’t you respect my decision? It’s perfectly normal not to want to get married.”

“I respect your decision,” you said calmly and Bradley paused, his chest heaving as all the anger suddenly left his body. 

“Then what’s all this about?”

“It’s about me respecting my decision and what I want. And-...” you swallowed thickly, words stuck in your throat. Bradley’s eyes widened when he realized what you were about to say. “I think we have to break up.”

“Now, hold on-”

“Do you want to get married? To me?”

“You know it’s not about you,” Bradley pressed, his breath quickening. “It’s- I am doing this for you!”

“It’s a simple question, Bradley.” 

He opened his mouth, making a sound at the back of his throat, his eyes wide. Bradley didn’t really say anything, but it was enough for you to know. You smiled sadly, tears welling up in your eyes as you put your hands on his shoulders. “Maybe in another life… Maybe we will get our happy end then.” Pressing a soft kiss on his cheek, you left the room quietly, left him. 

Bradley sat there for an hour, stupidly waiting as if you’d come back, even though he knew you weren’t.

The break up had been hard. But he knew that you made the decision with a clear head. It wasn’t fair of you to want him to change his mind on a principle he was set on and it wasn’t fair of Bradley to expect you to give up on marriage. Even though you went no contact with him, he had thought of you every single day while he was on deployment and when Bradley got back, he just begged for another one until he got shipped off to Japan.

When he got called back to Top Gun and bumped into Callie, he couldn’t help asking about you and somehow the two of you were drawn back together, like you were destined to be in his life. And when he first heard about your engagement from Callie, Bradley thought about going to your place and stealing you away, begging you to take him back. 

Bradley wiped his sweaty hands as he walked between the chairs in the venue, before sitting down. He was jittery, and with Jake on the chair next to him, that probably wasn’t going to change any time soon.

“You sure you can make it through the ceremony?”

Bradley detected a hint of concern in the other man’s voice and he gave him a nervous smile, nodding. Jake clapped his leg gently, not entirely convinced, but there wasn’t any time to question him further, as the wedding march started playing. Bradley, along with the other guests, stood up. Your bridesmaids floated down the aisle where Henry was already next to the minister, looking perfectly fine in his steamed suit. The entire wedding party looked like a match-made in heaven, dressed in soft colors, but when you appeared at the end of the aisle?

You took his breath away. 

As you slowly walked past all of your guests, Bradley felt the sudden urge to grab your arm and run, so he stuffed his hands into his pockets, shifting from one foot to the other.  You gave him a small smile when you passed him and the one he returned was rather crummy. It should’ve been him waiting for you at the altar. 

God, he was a mess. 

Henry offered you his hand when you reached the bottom of the stairs, and together you ascended, stopping in front of the minister. 

“Could you maybe try and sit still?” Jake hissed to Bradley’s side, but he could barely hear him. The minister was droning on and on as the happy couple stood at the front of the venue, but all Bradley could hear was the blood rushing to his ears. He thought he could do it, sit through the entirety of your wedding ceremony, congratulate you after and have a few drinks at the party, maybe even dance. But now that he was sitting here, watching you get married to another man? He thought he was going to get sick. 

You and Henry turned around to look at your guests, smiles on your faces. Bradley’s mouth dropped open, and he suddenly felt so hot.

“And you, Y/N’s and Henry’s closest friends and family, are here today to bear witness to their union. Will you promise to love and support their marriage in all the days to come? If so, respond we will.”

“We will.” 

The two words got stuck in his throat, even if he had wanted to, he couldn’t have uttered them. For a split-second, your eyes met Bradley’s and he shifted in his seat. You were smiling, but the smile never really reached your eyes. Taking a deep breath, Bradley shook his hands out before suddenly standing up. There was rustling between the seats as everyone turned to stare at him and Bradley started sweating when you furrowed your brows. Bradley opened his mouth, but he couldn’t find the words.

“Now’s not the time, Bradshaw,” Jake hissed, gently tugging on Bradley’s hand before he sat down again. Bradley exhaled deeply, wringing his hands and you blinked at him nervously, before turning back around, while Henry frowned at him for a second too long. 

He knew that his friends were staring at him and Natasha leaned forward, subtly shaking her head at him, a horrified look on her face. But Bradley felt like he was suffocating if he didn’t speak up right now.

His hands were shaky as he got up once more, but his voice was strong, as it echoed through the room.

“Please don’t marry him.”

The minister stopped mid-sentence, and suddenly all eyes were on Bradley again. The silence was almost unbearable, his skin was prickling at the shocked and angry faces of everyone around him, but he had his eyes fixed on you. You were the only one that mattered.

“I love you,” Bradley said and the commotion he caused was nearly comical. “I made a mistake. I should’ve asked you to marry me the first time we kissed, because that was when I knew that I never wanted to spend a day without you ever again. I never should have let you leave, I should have fought for you. For us. I realize my timing is kind of shitty. I’m sorry it took me having to see you almost getting married to someone else to realize that,” Bradley swallowed thickly. “Don’t marry him. Please.”

When all of the words rushed out of his mouth, Bradley was relieved and terrified at the same time. Next to him, his friends’ reactions varied from covering their faces from embarrassment, mouth agape from the shock and just pure rage from Natasha. You were staring at him with wide eyes, your lower lip trembling. The tension was palpable and the longer it took for you to say something, anything, really at this point, Bradley started sweating, slowly processing what he had done. He was about to turn on his heel and run until he was in Canada when you bunched up the skirt of your wedding dress in your hands. 

Walking down the stairs, you slowly approached him and Bradley held his breath as you stared up at him, face unreadable. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, his heart beating against his ribcage when you suddenly raised your hand and slapped him across the face.

The other guests gasped in shock and stunned, Bradley held his cheek, his mouth dropped open. With a shake of your head, you took off, running down the aisle until you disappeared around the corner. Callie quickly followed suit, giving Bradley a look of disbelief as she passed him. Bradley however was rooted in his spot, and nobody moved, nobody even dared to breathe. 

When Bradley had to eject from his F18 during the mission, it was something he never wanted to experience again. His ears were ringing from the explosion and when he was ejected,  all of the oxygen left his lungs. The air was splitting cold, almost burning against his warm skin and when he slowly parachuted down into the ground, pines and needles scratched up his face, before the freezing snow hit him in all the wrong places. Every single limb was screaming in pain and he was so cold.

This was worse.

Bradley exhaled deeply, trying to loosen the knot in his chest, but it only coiled in tighter, especially when Henry stalked towards him. Bradley hadn’t lied when he told you that he liked Henry, because he did. He was a good man. A good man, who was about to sock him in the face, judging by the way his hands were curled in fists.

Whatever was coming, he’d deserve it. But Bradley squeezed his eyes shut anyway, not wanting to get punched in the eye, and he braced for impact.

But it never came. 

When he opened his eyes again, Jake had his hand wrapped around Henry’s wrist, his face hard. 

“I know you’re angry, but this is not the solution. Walk it off,” Jake said evenly and Henry scoffed out a laugh, turning his wrist out of the other man’s grip. 

“Get the fuck out of here.”

Henry came dangerously close to Bradley, his eyes furious, before he spat at his feet, storming off. Bradley was still frozen. 

“We should probably go,” Javy said, gently pushing Jake so he’d move Bradley. “I know we’re a lot of people, but literally his whole family is here and I am not sure if I can fight Henry’s grandma.”

It was a scuffle to get out between the rows of chairs, and Bradley was of no help, stumbling around like he was drunk, needing his friends to steady him as he walked out, past the guests who were slowly clearing out of the venue as well, throwing dirty looks in his direction. Somehow, he got in the backseat of Javy’s jeep, Jake on the passenger seat while Natasha was to his left, watching him with narrowed eyes.

It was only then, that it slowly started sinking in what he had just done.

“Oh my god…” he moaned, horrified, leaning his head down, burying it between his knees. “What the fuck did I do?”

“What were you thinking?” Natasha , her face contorted in anger. “Do you realize what position you put her in?”

“Trace, not now,” Jake muttered and Natasha leaned back in her seat with a scoff, crossing her arms over her chest, staring out of the window. The rest of the car ride was spent in silence, and by the time the car rolled to a stop in front of Bradley’s house, he was miserable.

Without waiting, he tumbled out of the car, trudging inside the house, heading straight to the fridge to grab a beer. He’d nearly drunk the entire bottle by the time the others walked inside, almost a complete set. His squadron lined up in front of him, Jake giving Bradley a pitiful look, handing out beers to everyone, giving Bradley a chance to collect his wits, before it inevitably all came crashing down on him.

“That was fucked up, Rooster.”

Out of all the people, he had expected Bob the least, especially with the expletive. He really messed up badly.

“We’ve had her wedding invitation for ages, you had plenty of chances to tell her how you feel, why would you leave it to the last second?” Reuben asked and Bradley dropped his gaze, because he knew he was right.

Logan made a noise. “His timing was shitty, yes, but the way she reacted tells me she had second thoughts.”

“She reacted like that because Bradley put her on the spot, are you fucking joking?” Natasha snapped at him and Logan’s eyes widened, raising his hands defensively. “She’s been dreaming about this day all her life and you just went and fucked it all up, like it was easy.”

“Tash, take it down a notch,” Javy said and Natasha glared at him. 

“No, I am not going to coddle him. He fucked up, big time and he needs to own up to it.”

“Jesus, I know I fucked up, okay?” Bradley suddenly burst out, his breathing heavy. “I shouldn’t have interrupted the ceremony like that and I shouldn’t have let her leave in the first place all those years ago. But it was not easy for me, Natasha, so don’t say it like I did it for shits and giggles!”

Natasha sighed with a deep breath, her shoulders relaxing a bit, though there was still a frown on her forehead. Bradley looked at his friends, who all wore expressions varying between worry and pity, when he realized that there were people missing.

“Where’s Billy and Neil?”

“I think they’re at Callie’s. Things at the venue kind of bombed after we left and she asked them to come help,” Brigham said, purposefully vague and Bradley’s eyes shoot to him immediately.

“Is-?”

Brigham shifted uneasily on his feet, shrugging with his shoulders. “I think so, yeah.”

“Um. I think I’ll go and apologize, right?” Bradley asked, shoving his empty beer bottle on the counter and Mickey made a hesitant noise.

“I don’t think that’s the best idea? Maybe the two of you need space right now?” He said and Reuben nodded, agreeing with his backseater.

“Yeah, I think you need to give her some time. And you should use that time to collect your bearings, too. Get your head sorted.”

Bradley deflated, leaning back against his fridge and Jake gave him a look, before clucking with his tongue. 

“Alright, how about everyone just get changed and get some rest? And then come back, we’ll do dinner back here, that okay, Bradshaw?”

Jake glanced at him, raising an eyebrow and Bradley muttered a yes in response, knowing that he was only trying to help. And it was probably best if he didn’t stay alone right now, or else he’d do something stupid again. Everyone voiced their agreements and then started filtering out of his kitchen, not without clapping Bradley on the shoulder in consolation. 

Pressing the heel of his hand in his eyes, Bradley let out a deep sigh, before looking up at the remaining aviators in his kitchen. Natasha had her arms still crossed, Javy eyeing her like he was considering putting a leash on, Jake just, uncharacteristically worried and Bob.

“I don’t have enough food in my fridge to feed 11 people,” he then said. He barely had any food in his fridge, if he was being honest, since he was supposed to be eating dinner at your wedding. 

“We’ll just pick up pizza later, don’t worry,” Bob said, giving Bradley a small, comforting smile. “You should rest up.”

Bradley nodded, heading out of the kitchen and upstairs into the bedroom, not missing how the hushed conversation started as soon as he left the room.

“- him? He’s a grown man and he made a mistake.”

“You’re kicking him while he’s down, Trace, have a bit of sympathy.”

“That’s rich coming from you, Bagman, I-”

“Hey, let’s just, take a breather, okay?”

The rest of the conversation faded as Bradley climbed up the stairs and finally reached his bedroom, dropping down on the mattress, face first. He was drained, emotionally and physically. His cheek was still stinging from when you bitch-slapped him across the face. Sitting up, Bradley groaned in frustration, suddenly feeling like he was suffocating, tugging on his bow tie until it unraveled, tossing it somewhere on the floor. His suit jacket quickly followed, the dress shirt got dropped on the floor, and with a bit of resistance, his dress pants got discarded on the floor as well. Grabbing the nearest piece of clothing, he threw on a black shirt and some sweats, hoping to ease the tightness in his chest. Bradley took a deep breath, that was too shaky for his liking, his skin was itching and he was just way too warm. 

He had to get out of there. 

Getting to his feet, Bradley tumbled down the stairs, only stopping briefly in the door to the kitchen, his friends freezing when they saw him. Bradley was sure he looked like a lunatic.

“I need some air,” he gasped out, before disappearing out back through his backward, ignoring the calls.

“Bradley!”

Bradley walked in quick strides, hoping none of them would follow him outside as he cut through the neighborhood until he reached the beach, the salty air filling his lungs. His feet sank into the sand, seagulls crowed as they dove past him and Bradley finally felt a sense of peace in his body. 

Taking in a deep breath, he shut his eyes, only to see your face staring back at him, your hand shaking as you raised it to slap him across the face. Wincing, Bradley forced his eyes open again, the tension back in his shoulders. He had to apologize. Turning his back, he stared into the direction of his house, knowing that there was no way the others would let him go, so he had no other choice but to walk to Callie’s house. It was a two hours walk, minimum, but he could use the fresh air to find the right words. 

By the time he trudged up the walk-way to Callie’s house, it was dark, the sun had set about half an hour ago, right about the same time he got cold. Pressing the doorbell, Bradley rolled his shoulders back, confident that he had found the right words to apologize to you, when Callie opened the door. 

Fuck.

“You got some nerve coming here,” Callie bit at him, glaring. “You know damn well I can kick your ass, and don’t think I wouldn’t just because you’re Natasha’s best friend.”

“I don’t think that she would mind,” he admitted, his voice small. “Can I please talk to her?”

“Why? So you can break her heart all over again?”

Bradley’s heart sank and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his sweats. “I’m- I just want to apologize. Please. She doesn’t even have to talk to me, I don’t even have to see her, I can talk to her through the door, just- I need her to know that I’m sorry.”

Callie stared him down for at least a minute, before she stepped to the side to let him in. 

“If she doesn’t want to talk to you, you best believe I will kick your ass out of here,” she called after him as he headed inside, waving awkwardly at Billy and Neil who were sitting in the living room. Billy was unimpressed and Neil only sighed when Callie pointed him towards the first floor. 

“She’s upstairs, second bedroom to the right.”

“Thanks,” Bradley said meekly, walking up the stairs until he stood in front of the closed door. There were small sounds coming from the room and he knocked on the door gently, nervously. 

“I am not hungry, Callie,” you called from inside the room, your voice congested. Like you had been crying. Bradley contemplated turning on his heel to leave, not wanting to hurt you even more, but he breathed in deeply, before speaking. 

“It’s me.”

He heard you inhale sharply and he leaned his forehead against the door, closing his eyes.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done what I did in the middle of the ceremony. I just- I thought I could be happy for you, see you off with Henry and maybe even have a few drinks with you, toasting to the new chapter of your life. But when I saw you up there with him. I couldn’t take it. I am not sorry about what I said, because I meant every word. But I am sorry for ruining your wedding and putting you on the spot like that. It was unfair and you didn’t deserve that,” Bradley said softly, sighing quietly. 

There was no reaction on the other side of the door and Bradley accepted that he had done all he could do. 

“I’m really sorry…” he added, before taking a step back, clearing his throat.

Suddenly, the door unlocked and he had an armful of you, beating against his chest with your hands. 

“Do you know how long it took for me to accept the fact that you weren’t going to marry me, Bradley? Ages, YEARS! I was completely heartbroken when we broke up and it took me so long to get back out there, telling myself that I would find someone. When Henry proposed to me, a tiny part of me thought that maybe you would come to your senses and tell me to call off the engagement. Hell, even in the bridal room, I kept thinking that maybe you were going to stop me, tell me that you loved me and that you wanted to marry me. You had so many chances, Bradley. I gave you so many opportunities to catch up with me, and when I finally closed the door on you, you chose the worst possible moment to kick it down screaming?”

The hits against his chest grew weaker and weaker, until you were just clawing at his shirt, breaking down against his body. Bradley wasn’t sure when he had started crying, but silent tears were running down his cheeks as he held you. For a while, the both of you just stood there in silence, both in tears until you pushed yourself out of his arms, wiping the tears from your face with the sleeves of your sweatshirt.  

Your eyes were rimmed red, and your skin was still glistening with tears, but to Bradley you have never looked more beautiful. 

“You stink,” you said and Bradley let out a water laugh, his chest rumbling. 

“Yeah, I walked here.”

Your eyebrows shot up. “From your house?”

“From my house.”

You hummed, biting on your lip. Bradley reached out to comb your messy hair back, his fingers getting tangled in the knots, before stroking his thumb over your cheek gently.

“Have you talked to Henry?”

You let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah. He lost it. Said that I embarrassed him in front of his entire family and friends. I think he’s still getting drunk at the venue with his boys. My dad almost got in a fist fight with him.”

Bradley smiled at the thought of your father, barely 5’5, trying to take on Henry, who was almost six feet tall. He noticed how you left out how things were between you and Henry, though Bradley didn’t let himself get his hopes up too much. 

“Is it too late?” he asked softly and your eyes found his, unshed tears on your lower lash line. “Am I too late?”

Sighing deeply, you dropped your gaze. “Do you want to get married?”

“I don’t. But I want to get married to you.”

Squawking, you gave him a shove and Bradley stumbled a few steps back, beaming at you. He knelt down in front of you and making you flush.

“Bradley, get up.”

“I am serious. I meant every word I said. If you’ll have me, I will marry the shit out of you. I will make you the best Mrs. Bradley Bradshaw,” Bradley said earnestly and you stared at him with wide eyes. 

“... Okay then.”

“Okay?” 

“Yeah. I mean, I’m not getting younger and my other engagement just fell through-”

Bradley gave you a look, but he nosed along your ring finger, pressing a soft kiss on your skin before standing up, lifting you up with him. You laughed and there were still dried streaks of tears on your cheeks, there were so many obstacles he had to overcome, but he’d take it all, if it meant having you in the end.

author's note: whoop. sorry. this got angstier than I intended. anyways, you know the drill. SHARE! COMMENT! REBLOG!!

[lcvernat]

I’m Sorry | Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Request: Hey :)

Idk if you’re doing requests or not but if you are…

I wanna ask if you can please do a Nat x TeenR with Angst or Nat x femR with anxiety

Tbh as long as it has Angst in it :)

You dont have to give me any recognition for it as long as you tag my bestie @romanoffs-widow in it bc she loves this type of thing 🥰 thanks!

Word Count: 2.3k

Content Warnings: definitely very angsty, anxiety, panic attacks, overall bad mental health + pls read at your own discretion!

A/N: hi anon! i chose to go with nat x fem reader for this request :) i hope that’s okay!! and i hope your bestie enjoys <3 + for everyone out there who suffers from anxiety i hope this fic gives you some sort of comfort and just know you’re not alone, i promise you, and my dms are always open if you need someone to vent to!

Living with anxiety was like having a shadow following you constantly: you could never get rid of it, could never quite catch a break. It convinced you of things that you knew logically couldn't be true, but that didn't matter because your brain couldn't help but believe in it and send you spiraling. It made you second guess and overthink everything, and it made the simplest of daily tasks impossible. Sleeping was really the only time that you were free from the torment that was your thoughts.

You never quite fit in anywhere. Your friends quickly became tired of you bailing on them at the last minute when they invited you out, so they eventually just stopped inviting you. You couldn't quite blame them, but you didn't know how to explain that the very prospect of going outside made you feel so violently nauseous you spent most of the morning sitting on the floor of your bathroom beside the toilet, and then every time you ended up cancelling because you just. Couldn't. Do. It. And you felt pathetic for it.

All you wanted was to be normal. To make these thoughts go away. To stop freaking out about every single thing. Yet they never went away, no matter what you did. The physical symptoms had to be the worst to deal with. You could manage the thoughts sometimes, could ignore them sometimes, but the nausea, sweating, shaking, and the constant feeling of something being stuck in your throat was a nuisance to deal with. You felt so drained from it some days that all you wanted to do was lie in your bed and cry.

Oddly enough, the only time you felt solace was on missions with the Avengers. You had to be focused, with one specific goal in mind: the mission objective. It left no room for your anxiety to manifest, and it was one of the only times you were free from its grasp, despite it defying all logic - death-defying missions should’ve been the one thing that elicited anxiety in you, but it didn’t, and instead simple, mundane tasks such as going to the grocery store seemed catastrophic. It was stupid.

Through the Avengers Initiative you met your girlfriend, Natasha Romanoff, and she made everything better. You’d told her about your anxiety, knowing you couldn’t keep it a secret from a super spy who would inevitably find out, and despite you thinking it was pathetic because she had gone through so much more in her life and had seemingly never been left debilitated by the mere thought of going outside, she assured you that you weren't pathetic, and your feelings were completely valid. She understood you. She didn’t push you, and she didn’t get angry if you had to back out on dates because you couldn’t handle it. She quickly learnt what usually overwhelmed you or triggered a panic attack and made sure you avoided those situations or if you couldn’t avoid it, she’d be there by your side throughout all of it. She knew exactly how to help you when you had a panic attack and she was so loving and patient towards you, you were so eternally grateful for her. You don't know how you had managed to get this lucky, she was well and truly a miracle.

But of course, anxiety just couldn’t let you have good things without poisoning it. ‘She hates you’, ‘you’re literally so annoying’, ‘she doesn’t love you’, ‘she’ll leave eventually because everyone does’ - constant thoughts of self-hatred wormed its way into your mind, despite your best efforts of keeping them out. It got tiring, sometimes, trying to get better, because anxiety had to be one of the most persistent monsters on the planet. It never went away, no matter how hard you tried to make it go away. Your chest constantly felt tight, your hands constantly shook, you felt nauseous nearly all of the time and your mind was on constant overdrive: the thoughts never stopping. You just had to live with it.

Some days were worse than others. Today was a particularly bad day. You didn’t have any energy to get up, and had spent all day lying in bed, scrolling mindlessly on your phone. Nat and Steve had an important and quite dangerous mission coming up, so the redhead had been away all day preparing for it, which meant you were alone in your shared room. It was late evening now, and the room was starting to get dark, but you didn’t have the energy to get up and turn on the light. This morning, the thought of getting up and facing the day was so impossible you were nearly sick, so you just couldn’t do it. You couldn’t battle it today, you just couldn’t.

The sound of the bedroom door opening and footsteps walking in filled the room. The footsteps soon stopped in their tracks though, when they saw that it was nearly pitch-black inside and the light wasn't on. The only light was the screen of your phone, barely visible under all of the covers you had covered yourself with in a desperate attempt to shield yourself from the world. The light switched on then, the room filling with the glaring yellow of artificial light as you squinted your eyes, letting out a grunt of annoyance.

"Y/N?" Natasha's voice sounded cautious, as her footsteps slowly resumed, getting closer to the bed. "Are you okay, moya lyubov?" Her voice was soft as you felt the bed dip with her added weight. Her hand came up to gently remove the covers from your face so she could see you. All you do is shake your head the tiniest bit, such a small action that anyone else would’ve missed, but Natasha didn’t.

“What’s wrong? You can talk to me.”

You frown. That was a tough question. What was wrong? You didn’t know. Nothing bad had happened to you recently to make you feel like this. You didn’t have anything major happening this week that would’ve caused you to feel anxious. You simply woke up today with an insanely overwhelming feeling of anxiety. Worse than normal. There was no actual reason for it. There rarely ever was an actual reason.

Sitting up in the bed, Natasha moving back slightly to give you space, you start to play with the hem of your sweater. “I don’t know,” you mumble almost incoherently, your voice so small and fragile from not being used once today.

Natasha’s gaze softens as her hand reaches out to tentatively take yours. She gives your hand a squeeze. “I’m always here if you need to talk, you know that,”

You inhale, the familiar feeling of your chest tightening an unwelcome accompaniment. God, why were you feeling like this today? Nothing. Was. Wrong. “I don’t-“ Your throat feels tight. You swallow, the object in your throat not loosening, “I just- I need to be alone. Please.”

You never pushed Natasha away. Never. She was your rock, your medicine, your cure. The only thing that could make you feel better. But right now, you needed to be alone. So, it wasn’t surprising when confusion quickly followed by pain flashed across her features. She didn’t say anything, she just simply nodded. Natasha got off the bed, slowly making her way to the door. The soft clicking of the lock sounded as she left.

You couldn’t breathe. You rubbed your chest, but the tightness didn't ease. You clench your fists so tight you know crescent-shaped marks are engraved into your palms. 5 senses. 5 things you see. Hear. Feel. Taste. Touch.

You’re okay. Okay. You’re fine. Nothing’s wrong. You’re okay. You’re fine. Fine. You’re okay. You are okay. Nothing’s wrong.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

You hold your head in your hands and cry.

You’d fallen asleep after. Your body and mind so tired you couldn’t stay conscious for another minute. You woke up feeling disorientated and groggy. The light was still on. Checking your phone, you realized it was well past 3am. You bite your lip before running your hand over your face. Chancing a glance at the other side of the bed, it was to no surprise that it was empty.

You felt horrible to think that Natasha never went to bed because you wanted to be left alone. You’re a horrible person. Horrible. You needed to find her. Your body screams in protest as you get out of bed for the first time in ages.

You opened the door, not surprised to be greeted with darkness as the team had clearly retired to bed hours ago. You make your way quietly through the Compound. You don’t know where Nat could possibly be. Unless she was rooming with Wanda tonight to give you space. Maybe she’d be better with Wanda anyway. At least Wanda wouldn’t have to cancel on dates because she couldn’t do it.

No. Don’t be stupid. Nat loves you; you know that.

You decide to check the kitchens first and are thankful that you don’t need to explore any further because there she is: sat at the kitchen island, a cup of coffee in front of her. She turns at the sound of your footsteps, and her eyes widen when she realizes it’s you.

Natasha is in front of you in an instant. She doesn’t touch you. She doesn’t say anything. You play with your fingers nervously. You look down at the ground as you attempt to gather your thoughts.

“I’m sorry,” you start, your voice shaky. Natasha interrupts you before you have a chance to continue by gently lifting your chin to get you to look at her.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," she says softly.

Frustrated tears spring to your eyes. Frustration at yourself and for feeling this way, for not knowing how to fix it, and pushing Natasha away too. God, you hated yourself sometimes.

"I do," you say, "I'm sorry for pushing you away, you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry for being like this for no reason because my life really isn't all that bad, you know? People have it worse and yet they aren't anxious messes all the time. You've had it worse, and you manage fine. I don't know why I'm like this and I hate it and I'm so-"

You cut off, unable to continue because the object in your throat has gotten bigger, preventing any words from getting out. You can't breathe again, and tears are streaming down your face. The next thing you feel is Natasha's arms wrapping around your body. You wrap your arms around her as tight as you possibly can while your head goes to rest in the crook of her neck and all you can do is just cry.

Cry because everything's been too much recently, too overwhelming, your mind has been a hellscape that you can never escape from, and it's just gotten too much to handle. So, you let it all out, you cry, and Natasha holds you through it all; her arm rubbing up and down your back, a steady rhythm to comfort you.

You don't know how much time has passed since you've stopped crying. Your throat is dry and sore, your cheeks are stained with tears and Natasha's shirt is wet from where you've cried. You pull away, hands reaching up to wipe away your tears, but Natasha gets there first. She dries your cheeks with her thumbs, her touch so gentle and tender as she cradles your face in her hands.

She kisses the tip of your nose and your nose scrunches in response.

"Don't ever say you're sorry for feeling the way you feel, okay?" She starts, her voice soft yet said with so much conviction you nearly start crying again, "Your feelings are completely valid, you are not a burden, or a mess, or anything else that your brain tries to convince you that you are, because none of it is true. You want to know the truth? All of us are messes, really, and it doesn't matter whether someone has it worse or not because we're all going through our own shit and battling something on our own and it is still completely valid even if you think your battles aren't valid. Some people are just good at hiding it. I am so sorry you have to battle this anxiety all of the time, and I know it must be exhausting, but you are the strongest person I know, okay? You will get through this, and you will get better. Whether it takes months or years, you will get better, and I will be right there by your side all throughout it. Some days will be worse than others, but I know you and I know that you can get through it, and you know you can go to me for anything. I love you so much, you know that right?"

Tears have sprung to your eyes again, but this time for an entirely different reason. Complete love and adoration for the redheaded woman that is currently cradling your face in her hands fills all of your senses. You nod, a smile making its way onto your face for the first time in a while.

"There's that smile I know and love," Nat says softly, returning your smile as she pulls you in for a hug again. Your smile widens as you lean back to kiss the love of your life.

You break apart to lean your forehead against hers, "I love you so much, you're the best girlfriend ever," you whisper against her lips.

"No, you're the best girlfriend ever, and I love you most."

It was 3am, you were standing in the Compound's kitchen wrapped in your lover's arms, but that was when you knew that every single word that came out of Nat's mouth was true. Even if you wake up tomorrow and have to battle your anxiety all over again, Natasha will be right by your side throughout it all. And you'll get better someday.

Maybe not today, but someday. And that was enough.

tags: @sheneonromanoff @olicity-boo @r4nd0mgir1 @tigerlillyruiz @dj-bynum3718

dm me, send me an ask or reply to be added to my taglist!

[slasherstories123]

hi! this is my first time sending a request so sorry if it's bad lol.

but I was wondering if you could do one with the slashers (Michael, Jason, Billy Loomis, Stu Matcher, and Brahms) react to you scaring yourself with your own reflection. bc that just happened to me and I wanted to see how they would react.

sorry if it's too much🙂👍

Slashers reaction to you getting scared by your own reflection

Paring: Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Billy Loomis, Stu Matcher, and Brahs Heelshire x GN! Reader

A/N: I‘m not even gonna lie this was fun to make and I found it funny😭

Tagslist: @brxwrvth @callmemeelah @dootys

Michael Myers

Michael was coming back from hunting and just wanted to relax for a bit, he was about to grab something sweet from the cabinet until he heard you scream.

Tilting his head slightly, he went to see what was wrong with you, when he found you on the bathroom floor gasping for air. Michael looked at you like you were crazy

“Sorry Michael! I didn’t hear you come in, I just got scared by my reflection that’s all!” He have you another head tilt, how do you get scared by your own reflection?

You’re not scared of Michael but you’re scared of your reflection? Really, come on Y/N, he grabbed your arm and helped you up before leaving you in the bathroom.

It may seem like he didn’t care but he did get a little worried when you screamed,

If you somehow managed to see that he was worried dont being it up to him or else he’ll get grumpy and will leave you in a different room

Or will just leave the house completely while you burst out in laughter

Jason Voorhees

You told him to wait on the couch since you were just going to the bathroom, he sat there patiently, waiting for you to come back.

You were washing your hands and looked up at yourself in the mirror, you let out a high-pitched scream that made Jason fall off the couch just from trying to run to you.

He nearly broke down the bathroom door just to see you in the floor with a shocked look on your face, he gently picked you up to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself, and he sat you in the sink.

He looked everywhere in the bathroom to see if it was a victim, you had to tell them there was no one there and you only got scared by your reflection.

Right after you said that he gave you a slow confusing head tilt, so you’re not being attacked by a victim? He’s glad that you’re okay but he found it silly that you got scared by your own reflection

He then signed at you, “You’re scared of your own reflection Y/N?” You felt offended by his question, “Hey! It just scared me!” “So basically you’re afraid of yourself?” You hit his chest playfully,

“I am not!” Jason just shook his head at you before picking you up and putting you back in the couch so you both can now continue your cuddle session,

Billy Loomis

He find sit stupid and funny at the same time, he was leaning in the doorway in the bathroom, watching you wash your put your rings you had back on your fingers, you knew he was in the doorway.

When you looked up you screamed at yourself nearly falling to the ground, Billy laughed at you as you screamed again, holding his stomach in laughter

“It’s not funny!” “Oh it’s funny alright!” You crossed your arms at him, feeling embarrassed by the fact that you got scared at your own reflection, after a while Billy began to calm down from his laughing fit

He was still chuckling but not so much, you left the bathroom with him still in the doorway, “JERK!” Billy tried to tell you that it was funny, you still wasn’t listening to him, “I mean come on! You’re scared of your own reflection!”

He has a point, you and him always watch horror movies and never jumped at one of them… except for 1 scene on Nightmare on Elm street. “Okay I see your point but stop laughing!”

Billy managed to stop after a few minutes, giving you a kiss on the forehead as an apology, saying he won’t laugh at you again

Knowing dang well that’s the biggest lie he’s ever told

Stu Matcher

This guy will play around and will scream with you, once you scream at your reflection he’ll scream right along just to make you scream again

“Stu! Knock it off!” You whined after you both stopped screaming, “What did I do? You screamed so I screamed!” He said with a smirk on his face. You hit his chest playfully, as he started laughing.

Stu finds it funny when you scream because of your reflection, it will catch him off guard sometimes but he will be the type to try to make it worse.

You remember when you screamed at your reflection and he poked his head out just to scream, of course you got scared and screamed again, you groaned before literally hitting him on the head,

“Oh come on that was funny!” “No it wasn’t!” You ignored him for the rest of the day, it was hard due to him apologizing so much and him whining about wanting to cuddle with you

Stu will also will also try to scare you just by standing in the doorway, you managed to get scared by him a few times

And of course, he found it funny while you screamed in terror, you got him back by kicking a door out of nowhere, making him scream like a little girl😭

Brahms Heelshire

He’s confused 100%, why are you screaming at a mirror? At first he thought you were in trouble, until he found you, your back pressed up the bathroom wall, “Oh hi Brahms!” He was even more confused than before now

Are you okay Y/N? Have you been in the mansion for so long to where you get scared of the smallest things?

Just like Jason, Brahms will make sure that you’re okay, when he does he’ll just stand there not knowing what to do.

You’ll have to reassure him that you’re fine and will lead him out of the bathroom, poor boy is lost in his head and is worried about you.

He’ll just silently follow you through the walls just to make sure you don’t get scared again, he’s not taking the risk of hearing you scream again.

Brahms will also cover up all of the mirrors in the mansion just to make sure you don’t scare yourself again, it took him a while but he did it without trouble… and not breaking any mirrors

At first, you were confused as to why he did, but when he told you, you just had to pat his head just because of how much he cared about you to do that. You thanked him for it.

You found it cute how he was worried about you… but now you’ll have to somehow tell him that the sheets on the mirrors have to go… good luck with that

[nerd-at-sea5]

robin gets beat up and cannot hide anything from nancy bc it's nancy so cute ronance ensues bc i love them

im using canon pronouns for everyone bc i’m still working out my gender hcs for them all :) (max is nb but idk pronouns yet)

cw-blood, fighting, slurs, homphobia, abuse

robin buckley didn’t dislike being slammed into walls.

ok scratch that, she liked it when it was nancy wheeler doing the slamming. because that normally came with a kiss.

when it’s some random dickheaded kid from school, she likes it less. a lot less.

“hey faggot.”

“hey jack-hole. you know, i’m really starting to think you’re why condoms we’re invented.”

sharp pain to the shoulder blades, “that sounds like it’ll bruise, buckley.”

she did her best to smirk through the grimace, “it’s fine, i’ll get your mom to patch it up next time i go to rail her. say hi to your little brother for me!”

the kid’s grip lessened, “what?” then his expression changed, and before robin could see his arm swinging, one, two, three-there was blood pouring from her nose, her right eye felt like it was swelling and she could feel a split lip with her tounge.

he and his posse stalked away as robin sank to the floor with a groan.

the best part is that the dude didn’t even know she was gay. no one did-outside of the party + adults involved with party.

he was just a run-of-the-mill bully who liked to call kids faggots. go figure.

either way, the brunette was a little proud of herself, normally in those situations she’d fight back, and 9/10 times she hurt the dude worse than he hurt her, it’s probably why she’s been suspended. twice.

but sarcasm is easier when it comes to robin’s academics. not so much her physical and mental health.

she groaned again, pressing her palms to her eyes in an attempt to push back the tears threatening to spill, it didn’t work so robin hauled herself up and punched the locker.

“OW FUCK ME.”

biking with one or no hands was easy and didn’t even faze robin much, so as she dumped her bike in the wheelers front yard, adding to the pile, she swung her short hair in front of her eyes as best she could, a futile attempt but still an attempt to hide the forming bruise.

the door swung open without anyone touching it, and robin took that as a sign to go in, flopping herself down next to nancy and steve on the couch while the boys argued over a movie, max and el sat in a chair together whispering.

“afternoon nerds.”

a smattering of “hey rob.” “hi.” “afternoon.” came out of the kids, steve reached over to lay his arm over her shoulders, the other around jonathan, both who had their eyes on the boys.

nancy on the other hand, raised her eyebrow and gently brought a hand up tp robin’s face, who tried to redirect it, “nance don’t-”

“oh my god, robin!” her yell alerted everyone else, and steve instantly swung around, “jesus christ, rob-what happened to you-”

“n-nothing!” robin sputtered out, holding her palms up as nancy rushed to the bathroom, steve on her heals before robin held up her hand.

“well come on then!”

her girlfriend pointed at the sink, “sit.”

“nancy, really i’m-”

“robin buckley so help me god do not lie to me right now. you are not fine, and if you say so much as it it will be a bigger lie than mike saying he’s not in love with will. now, for fucks sake. express your goddamn emotions and don’t fucking hide them from me.”

she finishes putting tape on robin’s face and steps between her legs, gently running a hand over the taller girl’s lip, “i love you to much to keep watching you get hurt.”

nancy’s voice was so soft it was nearly a whisper, and it almost broke robin’s heart.

she really did try, she tried to fly under the radar, not get called out by assholes, but people had been pegging her as the weirdest girl in hawkins for years now.

robin knew that every time she showed up somewhere with a new bruise-nancy knew exactly how she’d gotten it.

face=school, arms/legs=biking or other mooter accident, torso=well. torso meant parents.

“i love you too, nance.”

nancy’s lips twitched for a second, “then stop getting yourself all beat up.”

“oh i thought looked hot like this.” robin quips back, earning a light glare from nancy, who sighs.

robin’s stomach twists, and she gently hooks her feet around nancy’s back, pulling her closer to her chest, wrapping her arms around nancy’s back and burying her face in her shoulder/neck.

“i don’t want to lose you just when i’ve got you for the first time you know.”

robin smiles into her girlfriends neck, “your not losing me anytime soon baby.”

“baby?”

“oh please, i’ve heard steve call you way worse.”

“mhm...i like it better from you.”

robin smiles again, “baby it is then.”

nancy’s reply is replaced with a gasp as the taller girl presses her lips to the shorter’s neck, over and over again.

nancy’s back hits the door, and robin feels butterflies so intense in her stomach that she thinks she might explode.

she can’t fathom why someone would ever need drugs when kissing feels like this.

maybe it’s because robin’s kissing nancy fucking wheeler.

and because nancy fucking wheeler kissed her first, right outside her parents bedroom, where her dad was sleeping.

the same dad who would not be ok with it if he found out that not one, but both of his kids swing both ways.

robin’s parents won’t be that happy either, but joyce is.

robin’s practically living with the byers/hoppers at this point-she’s claimed the guest room and when people come over steve takes the floor and nancy curls up next to robin and they talk all night with jonathan.

“i’m ok nancy. really.”

when nancy’s looking up at her with those blue eyes and steady grin saying “you better be.” robin is convinced she’d take another hundred hits to the face for this girl.

“i love you robin, i really really do.”

yep. she really would.