#good performance from all 3
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my boys 😭💗
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fuck JKLMNOPQRST for @aprylynn (cr. namuspromised, doolsetbangtan)
#userbangtan#usersky#annietrack#heyryen#usermaggie#userkelli#useremmeline#useryoonqiful#usersolis#raplineuser#userpat#nuggettracks#tuserandi#rjshope#dailybts#cyphernet#mine!#kim namjoon#namjoonedit#userines#usermizuoka#btsedit#OKAY!!#happy birthday my dearest apryl <3#i've already made you a trivia: love set in the past so i wanted to try something a little different#two different performance fits and then the background frame gif is from the wildflower mv <3#love you so much!! hope you have a wonderful day and are showered in all the love you deserve which is endless so good luck everyone#I reached U <3
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Ellen McLain’s commentary from my trivia playthrough
#She's so cute <3#WPP#Portal#Ellen McLain#If you haven't played through the audio commentary I would Absolutely recommend it it is So fun#I clicked out of curiosity - kind of just expecting like a movie's audio commentary y'know? Like a video that highlighted specific scenes#No it's just the whole game again but with trivia pop-ups! I love that!!#It reminded me so much of like trivia track or the pop up fun facts from special editions of movies I would watch as a kid#But you can play through them!! You have to click on them and they spin! I love that!!!#I always love hearing the design and development process - fascinating how the playtesters reacted to this new game!#We take it for granted now but yeah I imagine it would've been very confusing at the time#And I was like ''Well it was such a small team and Ms. McLain was such a large part of it - surely she'll have a few bubbles?''#She does lol - as soon as I got to her first one (it was a slow burn! They buried the lead with her lol I'm already invested!) I had to go#I saved-quit the game out of sheer excitement and giddiness lol I had to sleep on it before I was ready to come back#It is so cool to hear her natural voice ah <3 And the kinds of direction she was given! Other bubbles also talk about her vocal direction :)#Very cool! I wonder what TTS they used for reference :0#But to hear her real laugh without the audio processing over and and she still sounds like GLaDOS! I mean of course she does but just jfdksl#That's /her/ laugh! They share a laugh! It's a very similar laugh!!#Not to mention her talking about wanting to play and just fdskalfd they clearly did such a good job with her performance and ahhh#It's too cute it's all too cute sharing a room with GLaDOS while her voice actor talks about making a cake to share with her friends stopppp#I am so enamoured <3#I also took a bunch of screenshots of GLaDOS still shit-talking while she was being destroyed lol#Actually beat the ending in one try this time :P I ran out of time the last time pfft#But now I've beaten it twice in as many days :D Although I did start it the first time several days ago - but I beat it again quickly!#Has me all the more itching to replay 2 ♪#WPVG
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2010 Bahrain Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso
#aaaaaahhhh what a good podium!! he looks so good bark bark bark#i love how theres like 2 immensely iconic pictures from this gp#its still so cool that he won his first race with ferrari!!#tho its a shame bcs its mostly due to seb's technical issues :(#not saying i dont think fernando shouldve won but rather that i was excited for a potential vettonso podium sigh#i already made a post w my thoughts abt it ^ but man i rly loved how 3/4 of this race was vettonso playing cat and mouse#and all the discussion post finish were abt comparing thier performances#twas a very exciting moment for me as you prob know ;;;; so its a shame that after all that they didnt end up on the podium together#OH MY SPEAKING OF THAT. it was so hilarious bcs they cut from nando celebrating in the car to seb's car on the side of the road SOBBBBBB#ah at least we got a little webbonso moment. that moment in my race notes literally says 'webbonso???' cause mark came from nowhere#anyways that gif where hes spraying champagne(rose water ig) at the camera makes me FERALLLLL AAKUHDKJAK#ngl even tho its not champagne it sounded pretty tasty. sparkling water/rose water/pomegranate juice i think?#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#we do a little bit of f1#fa14#2010 bahrain gp#<- feels rly cool to write 2010 finally
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my friend invited me to go with them to a show tonight
and the thing is it was not good. it was a cabaret with some amazing circus acts but each of them got like. 5-10 minute slots. and were interspersed with 20+ minutes EVERY TIME of some of the most tedious standup work I have ever seen from the MC and the same 5 physical comedy bits repeated ad nauseum. this guy literally did a Borat bit. in the year of our lord 2024. he sang 2 entire rounds of the Family Guy theme.
and it just KEPT GOING. it was meant to be a 90 minute show, which imo is already a slog for a show starting at 11:30PM but within the bounds of reasonable. it finished. at fucking 1:50 AM. ALMOST TWO AND A HALF HOURS OF THIS SHIT. and it did not help that the 5 bits were all of the 'OH NO SOMETHING HAS DISRUPTED THE SHOW' variety which is funny for a bit, less funny when you're literally 45 minutes past the end of your scheduled finish and still fucking going.
HOWEVER. what I did not realise was that this was in fact. my friend's favourite comedian. and if I had known this I might not have gathered up my stuff and walked out during the curtain call and probably would not have announced on the way out, 'that was the most tedious fucking thing I have ever endured.' and I almost certainly, when someone overheard me complaining about the length and tedium and said 'yeah it ran a bit long huh,' have replied, at the actual near-shouting top of my voice, "I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF."
I feel. bad for spoiling the show for them.
in my defence I have been very tired this week, I got home at 2:30 AM, and raked seating really hurts my hips so I was in agony by the end of the first hour. but mostly I'm just a bitch who loves to hate tbh.
#red said#it was so fucking MINDNUMBING though.#he kept doing the ohhh noooo I'm bombing kind of bit. which is tedious at the best of times but when you're playing to a sold out audience#of like. 750 people. who are inexplicably loudly delighted by every attempt at a joke. it moves past cringe and into wank#like fuck offfffff#he also kept drawing attention to people leaving and it's like first off if you don't want people to leave tell better jokes but also#MATE. if you were scheduled to finish at 1 and by 1:30 you're only 2/3 of the way through your setlist#you have WAIVED THE RIGHT TO EXPECT PEOPLE TO STAY#we agreed to stay for 90 minutes. not 2 hours.#what sucks is that the acts were REALLY good. mostly.#but even there they kind of fucked up bc their FIRST act whipped a rose out of Neil Patrick Harris' mouth with a bullwhip#ate fire. stripped fully naked. then set his erect cock on fire.#and it was fantastic but even aside from them then stopping the show DEAD for 30 more minutes of crap standup#how the FUCK is that the opening act? because the ONLY reason you should open with that is to set a tone of 'this will be wild'#but although the other acts were GOOD they were all. fully clothed trapeze and burlesque?#don't get me wrong. extremely high quality work. but if your opening act is a naked man setting his cock on fire and jacking off#your closing acts CANNOT be 'a man in a suit being very good at diabolo' and 'someone who has played the trumpet throughout the show#plays a trumpet solo'#like what is the ARC where is the MOMENTUM how is this fair on the other performers?#oh well she's done an amazing arial contortion routine but she DIDN'T. strip fully naked and set her genitals on fire.#PACING#GOD
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It's definitely gonna be flashier than "Le otto montagne", I think it will be probably even better than "Non essere cattivo" which is, to my humble opinion, his best acting so far.
For non-native speakers, it's very difficult to understand how difficult (pardon the repetition) it is to cancel the accent (as a non-native English speaker, I know it's difficult to me to fully appreciate when an Irish actor pulls a perfectly good australian accent).
Marinelli has quite the thick roman accent (not as think as, idk, Mastandrea's, but still pretty thick), yet in "M" we fully get the Mussolini talking: the different pronounciation is most of the letters, the completely different speech and pause pattern between roman and emilian, the voice itself sounding nothing like it did in his previous movies...
And that's just me not mentionin the "body" part of acting.
M was a short, pudgy man who carried himself like he was the biggest man in the world (think of the Russian guy nowadays), and Marinelli completely nailed this self-importance travesty in his portrait.
I can't wait to see it, even though I'm gonna be suffering through the whole thing.
i haven't seen non essere cattivo yet but yeah!!! marinelli is one of those actors that absolutely disappears into whatever character he's playing to a really incredible degree. i can point at a still screenshot of like, martin eden or le otto montagne or even the old guard or diabolik (which i think are definitely less Obviously Impressive roles until you compare them w/ the rest of his work: both are characters that involve a lot of microexpressions + i think it's not until you watch something like, idk, lo chiamavano jeeg robot when you really appreciate just how much skill goes into both of those but i digress) and go like yeah those are all the same guy. but once you actually see them in action they're really remarkably distinct!! as is his work in trust which is also an incredible performance.
trust is a good example too when it comes to voice/accent work im not quite familiar with accent differences yet (half of my teachers are roman and so is ninety percent of my immersion. ahem.) but even i can tell the difference sometimes!! and from what ive seen of the mussolini show there IS a lot of voice work going on there where it's again recognisably marinelli's voice but the quality of it is so so different (also as a tangent i rewatched le otto montagne and the narration is so nice. can he do an audio book or something). super impressive work. adapting yourself for a fictional character is one thing but mimicking the mannerisms of an actual person is another!! which is why biopics get so much oscar buzz!! + the physical aspects of that too is like. Wow.
anyway tldr luca marinelli's super good at his job and one of these days on god he'll get the oscar i have foreseen it
#neon answers#lazynbored#probably like. top 2-3 actually. in my very professional opinion (likes movies a lot)#ALSO not to be more annoying but that's why i think hes such a good diabolik#gianniotti is fine don't get me wrong. but like. he's just playing a generically broody man#marinelli's diabolik conceivably has something deeply wrong with him. and THAT'S diabolik babey#i joke a lot abt the tape recorder scene but it truly is incredible work ok. is the movie good? imo yes and also he knows exactly what movie#hes in. not all performances need to be capital A oscar level Acting. that's a specific kind of dramatic performance#n diabolik isn't a role that requires that. yes he's kind of wooden and not emoting much but this is serving the movie and the character#really well. ok.#le otto montagne also quite a restrained performance. most dramatic work ive seen from him is martin eden#and the transformation in that one is really something. hell of a film i should watch it again
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“...Wrong? Why would anything go wrong?”
Without further ado, a stimboard for @ask-the-biggering-onceler!
x|x|x x|x|x x|x|x
#TADAAAA :D#ohh there's SO much going on here#the first one is interesting bc i tried to avoid gifs of the outside#but this one strikes me as a moment from before the blog started#a brief moment of introspection and dwelling on the past as he looks out at the dwindling remains of the forest#though to him i’m sure any second thought about what could’ve been is a second wasted and he snaps himself out of it shortly after#THE BEAR THE TEDDY BEAR#it's a foreboding reference to the barbaloots it's a representation of the past it's everything to me :D#the spotlight for being the center of attention and scrutiny alike; loud and flashy juxtaposed with the softer candles on the other side#the gears are for the factory but note how clean it looks#showing his desperate attempts to keep his reputation intact and insist that absolutely nobody has died within the walls of this place#the velvety red fabric resembles both theater curtains (performance and the blog) and the curtains in his office#and they’re positioned opposite to the one glimpse we see of the outside world calling back to that one scene in the 1972 version#a camera for both his surveillance over thneedville and the press plus a reference to that old photo of him before his business days#the entire middle column is a brief glimpse into all the good intent that got soured along the way#while the right column represents his success and splendor#alternatively the bear and the camera could reference that one scene in hbcib with pipsqueak!#and that last one is for the extravagance of the ball!#you could say it being next to the camera means he’ll be keeping a close eye on partygoers >:3#i actually steered clear of stuff like sewing and other such manual work to show how he stands at the very top#arghh i could go on about every little part of the layout and how the different themes connect and oppose each other it's so fun!!!!! :D#anyways i hope ya like it ouo!!!#biggerler#ask the biggering onceler#stimboard#my nonsense
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The realisation that Lace Harding and Liara got the same voice actor :O
I could not hear that at all. Well, at least it is now confirmed that the voice actor was innocent for the weird way Liara lines was always said. She can apperntly act. Something else in production caused that
(Or she has gotten alot better at voice acting sense than me1. It was a while ago lol)
#dragon age the veilguard#playing dragon age veilguard#lace harding#i could never quite bond with liara because of the weird breathy way all her lines were said#like there never felt like there were any emotion?#or hardly any anyway#it is a similiar problem as neve#neve performance is not emotionless though#it is just.... feels like the actress was not told which scene she was in at all ever#so the lines are often performaned in a way were one suspect#that the actress had no idea what the answering dialogue or context was#which is most likely the case#i have heard this being a major problem in video game voice acting#that the get the lines sent to them to perform alone with no context#which explains why some actors that are useally good at voice work#suddenly becomes a mess in video game voice acting#BUT neves performance really stands out with having#also having shoddy editing were you reanky can tell were the editor cut and paste different lines togheter#all character suffers from this in dav but neve performance makes it glaringly obvious#all the characters who are returning from dai sounded better in dai#and i suspect it is the editors of the dialogues that are the problem#the ones responible of cleaning up the sound and cutting togheter the sound bytes;$#from the voice actors#and the direction BUT#but both Solas and Varric voice actors the sound of their voices sound so much worse in dav#they both sound like they have been smoking 3 packs a day the last 10 years#AND both had been acting on live stage non stop before performing their dialogue in the start of the game#i think that us not the case so something is wrong there#or ofcourse lol it is possible that solas and varrics voice actors are just not that good at performing the feelings of stressed argument#bur i dont think that is the case...
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Daddy was not, in fact, home.
He's still at the store for milk.
And he's not coming back.
#yes this is about#usher#super bowl lviii#super bowl#halftime show#WE WERE ROOTING FOR YOU#WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU#the least he could've done after spoiling us all the first time tbh :/#its gojover gamers#real talk#such a good performance#my childhood is SCREAMINGGG#alicia my beloved<3#Day 12 of hiding from my friends
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Shadows of Fear: Did You Lock Up? (1.1, Thames, 1970)
"And they didn't make much mess?"
"No, not really. They forced that door. Smashed the cabinet, slashed a sofa. And kicked a hole in the bedroom door."
"Ah. Big mistake."
"What is?"
"Never lock inside doors. Anything you can to keep them out - but when they're in, let 'em get on with it."
"I'll remember."
#shadows of fear#single play#roger marshall#1970#classic tv#thames#kim mills#michael craig#gwen watford#ray smith#mark mcmanus#malcolm kaye#charles leno#having come to something of a premature pause in my New Scotland Yard watch (the first ep of series 3 isn't on the YT playlist I've been#using and is proving quite tricky to get ahold of) i thought I'd revisit this brief lived anthology series for the creepy season. i first#watched this about 10 years ago and my memories of it are scant to say the least‚ so it seemed like good viewing for the season#the production history of SoF is lost in the mists of time (unless someone out there wishes to enlighten me?); this first episode was shown#in June of 1970‚ but the rest didn't follow until January of the following year; probably this acted as a sort of pilot to gauge viewer#reactions to another vaguely horrorish anthology series (the previous decade had been ripe with them‚ tho we rarely see their like today)#and then there's the odd case of the final ep‚ shown almost 2 years after the series ended and running to half the length (and generally#feeling like an entirely different format) but I'll come to that when (and if) i get to the episode itself. this debut ep is... well it's#fine. i was excited to see Marshall's name in the opening credits‚ one of the most dependable of old tv writers and I'd quite forgotten he#contributed to this show. but the issue here is simply one of length. the plot is solid‚ a suitably grotty little tale of a family man's#mounting obsession with the burglars who broke into his home. it would make a good ep of Tales of Unease (shortly to begin on Thames'#sister broadcaster LWT) or a few years later as an episode of Tales of the Unexpected; both being 25 minute shows. but this clocks in at#close to 50 mins and there isn't really enough to it to sustain that longer running time‚ leaving it feeling a little stretched thin and#flimsy. a shame‚ because Craig and Watford are putting in excellent performances as the middle class couple whose reactions to the burglary#slowly shift as time passes (he goes from prosaic acceptance to fixated malice‚ she from shocked indignation to making peace with it all)#no big surprises in where the play is headed or how it plays out‚ but that's often the case with these things; it's often just as much#about the horrible foreknowledge of what must come than some shocking twist‚ and this plays it about right. it's just too long is all.
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only now ive lost the main piece;
where might it be?
(redraw of the MV art for puzzle by kuwagata-p ft. hatsune miku, originally illustrated by ryono ♡ )
#churro art#my art#illustrations#hatsune miku#miku hatsune#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#drew this mostly to blow off some steam bec.. i could not draw at all today LMAO#i get frustrated when i cant draw chatracetrs as fluidly as i want to#it leads to making it harder for me to draw anything at all#cus the more i try to be fluid; the more forced everything looks for lack of a better word#so yknow i took a break from the comm sketch i couldnt figure out; and drew this!!#and i really like it :") it really reminded me of older art where i would mix colors way more#thats not rlly my style anymore but i always love experimenting with hues <3#and this is one of my most fav voca songs EVER!! its SO underrated :(#i watched some live performances of it while drawing this ofc and it saddens me how little ppl give it fanfare ToT#maybe its nostalgia speaking but i rlly love it and it got me thur a tough part of the pandemic....#like it was just a tough time but this song was a good emotional outlet for that heartbreak and loneliness yknow?#ANYWAYS! i really like this; i hope you do too! it was good for taking a break while still putting those drawin muscles to good use HEHE
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Dont be angry, Finnula said. Be smart.
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Elide Lochan#Finnula#no spoilers pls first read along w me chapter spoilers in post & tags below w more annotations/quotes/notes/reacts/perspective 3 of 4#The City of Rivers… can Aelin get a City of Fire? cuz that would be cool & Elide already said “fear was another companion it can’t be worse#IT WAS LORCANS SHIRT😭 & he cared so much he lied so she’d use it from Gavriel/Rowan😭 OH ELORCAN😭😭😭#Yet this place seemed like a paradise. WHATS REAL? is it a Maeve illusion… but it sounds lovely; like Rowan could just fly around😭#Pink and blue flowers draped from windowsills; little canals wended between some of the streets ferrying people in bright long boats.#And though a good dose of fear would aid in her cover too much would spell her doom. -smart clever spy gal Annabeth Chase would be proud#And this city Rowan had told Elide had been built from stone to keep Brannon or any of his descendants from razing it to the ground.#when u know ur evil cuz you had to build in a backup plan for the day Brannons peeps eventually come to shut that shit down… my poor Aelin#Elide fought the limp that grew with each step farther into the city--farther away from Gavriel's magic… or Lorcan’s👀😭🖤🤨#okay Elide I see your mirror mirror Aos moves with the berry listen and compact trick she can do it with a broken heart#cycle. She hadn't been able to find the words anyway. Not with what it would crumple in her chest to even think them. WELL NOW IM CRUMPLED#As if she'd been weeping for weeks… yeah that fits the KoA vibes#But it wasn't the reflection she wanted to see. But rather the square behind her. — BRILLIANT QUEEN — lol thx Lorcan for having a mirror#if only anything could be a witch mirror then they could all cell chat and communicate cause the travel time in this one is rough#she was merely staring into a compact mirror no more than a self-conscious girl trying to fix her frazzled appearance — she is the best spy#A girl trying to muster some dignity. Let them see what they wanted to see-A girl far out of her element in this lovely well-dressed city#cornflower blue ALWAYS THESE SHADES#her golden-brown skin shone with an inner light. Her eyes were soft with kindness. And concern.#had always made them foolishly off guard and eager to get away. To tell her what she needed to know. — funny 2 watch Elide do this after HoF#The sort of voice Elide had always imagined great beauties possessing the sort of voice that made men fall all over themselves.#Cairn. One of the males swore; the other scanned Elide from head to toe. But the two females had gone still. — agreed he’s the worst#the portrait of hope—yeah child’s right cause no—Elide always naming people—If you escaped Cairn don't go looking for him again.—true#Cairn is blood-sworn to our queen. Still makes him a prick TRUTH — doesn’t need to be a far to catch the lie — WHERE IS SHE DAMNIT#She was about to do it again wheen… The dark-haired beauty from the tavern was standing behind her. — SHIT#Maeve was not in Doranelle. How long would that remain true? Had to make the next performance count. — how many had she done this already?🥹😭
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it's probably the sunnier weather that's doing stuff to my brain to make me more optimistic but it's so interesting having a brain that craves a lot of self-fulfillment to the point where I can move past some hang-ups around perfection by going "oh I really wanna do that though" and then I do it well because researching how to do it right is also a rewarding part of the process
#it comes with the double edged sword of dropping projects as soon as they become a bit more involved/difficult#or when they don't feel fulfilling#but maybe it's better to take a break and come back to something with new knowledge ?#maybe it's good that my brain has a built in 'if it sucks hit da bricks' function ?#i just wish that i had more stamina for these things when they start lacking intrinsic rewards#it just feels like compared to my other family members i lose steam very very quickly and since we all have the same disorder i should be-#- 'just as capable'... but honest to god my under-activity feels SO severe#it honestly feels like compared to others my threshold for mental exhaustion is half the normal benchmark it should be#you know how there were studies done that found that 4 hours is the maximum amount of time people can work before a decline in efficiency?#i swear to god when the activity is something i have no internal reward for it takes 1-2 hours for that decline to start. and my brain -#- crashes HARD. my eyes start to glaze over. i start forgetting how to speak. my brain starts acting like it's 2-3 am and that i need to -#- sleep. i don't push myself not because i coddle myself but because i perform WAY worse. my work becomes unintelligible#or if it's some other kind of task (such as cleaning) my brain desperately tries to take shortcuts in order to get it done#i am trying to avoid a situation where i have to fix up the shitty job i did after the fact!#it's just kind of crazy to me how this is viewed as laziness LOL 'you did a bad job!' because i was pushed past my limit!#not to mention... i get burned out for DAYS if i push myself too hard. i am trying to conserve my efficiency#if you want me to do a better job... i need more time. and trust me: i'll do an excellent job if you let me rest#i am a very smart and capable person who cares about doing a good job - and i have a fine eye for smaller details as well#the trade-off here is i'll need some time to find joy and fulfillment somewhere else for a little bit while i rest. let me excel ok?#idk where this high self esteem came from other than like. realizing i wrote an entire research proposal in such short time#while receiving positive feedback with very few notes for improvement. i just sat down an added another section today based on -#-feedback and realized like 'wait. i know what i'm doing and i probably care about this far more than the average classmate'#i've been having a lot of thoughts lately and i sort of want to get to the bottom of how i have a difficult time coping w/ burnout#and i also want to figure out how to offset the costs of the stuff i need to do... it's a process
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GMMTVMUSICONxJAKARTA: easily one of the best nights of 2023 for me all thanks to this powerful lineup - LYKN, Ford, Perth, Gawin, Earth, Satang, Phuwin, Fourth, and Nanon🖤
What I had hoped #GMMTVMUSICONxJAKARTA would give me (but still I keep my expectation low) and turned out I got all of them... *cry in happy tears*
Gawin performing Sweet but Naughty (The Warp Effect OST) 🤍🤍🤍
Earth singing นิทานพันดาว (A Tale of Thousand Stars OST) -- still can't believe for getting this one!
Ford performing Come Closer
Satang performing No One Else Like Me
Satang performing All or Nothing (finally!!!)
All being flawlessly, I repeat, FLAWLESSLY, performed. Those five are my kind of ultimate perfection of the night 🤍
Some other performance I didn't expect to get but it happened (let's say it's a very nice surprise for me):
Ensemble performance of Hook as the opening and Our Song as closing *cry*
Satang-Perth duet of Love Love Love with guitar performance -- ok I kinda lowkey expected this, and it turned out so good!
Perth performing Let's Try with his guitar (Only Friends OST) -- he's such a rockstar!
Gawin-Ford duet of คนร้าย -- I never knew I needed this duo!
And, of course, there were also parts of my wishlist that didn't get through:
Phuwin's Living for You
Ford Fourth Satang performing Multi Love and or Once Upon a Time
Fourth's Let Me Tell You
Ford's Tomorrow (OST Moonlight Chicken)
But it's okay because the rest of the setlist are so 🔥✨🔥✨🔥✨🔥✨
Thank you Boys for giving me such a great night! Just as Phuwin, Earth, and Nanon said: let's meet again next year ;)
ps: but seriously, for this lineup I would go to another concert in a heartbeat! didn't regret my impulsive decision to attend this one, at all.
#GMMTVMUSICONxJAKARTA#gmmtv musicon#my very personal favorites:#gawin caskey#(ohmygod i was so out of my world during his stage performance. so so so GOOD. truly a powerful angelic voice.)#satang kittiphop#(called me biased. but he improved. like. A LOT. he got so so so much better at controlling his voice.)#but actually. i love them all who came and performed last night.#they're all on a 'concert quality'. the line up is just so crazy good!#i was so happy to see them happy singing and performing with that passion and making their fans happy with their performance <3#sorry no fancams from me as both my seating position and phone camera are 😬#april.words
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junpei’s new voice actor is better than his old one and also isn’t a terrible person i’m just gonna throw that out there
#persona 3#persona 3 reload#i know him originally from voicing fogado in fire emblem engage#and he was so good there#i know people are very attached to the original voice cast#and i do admit i miss some of the performances#but i don’t miss the old junpei at all lol
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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