#im being dramatic LOL but i just hate having them stuck in my head every day 💀 for some reason theres 3 songs that just play SO OFTEN
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i love finding a song you LOVE in the most random way possible... pirated a copy of the whole Diner Dash collection last month and whoever made it put this banger on the main menu, which I obviously HAD to hunt down so I can listen 29487298 times
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#sorry really long mega tag ramble below 🧍🏻♀️feeling chatty i guess LOL#speaking of music omfg guys the disney princess collab at work is KILLING ME. i cannot listen to one more disney song i cannot 😭😭🚫🚫🚫🚫#and we only have specific songs on the playlist so i end up hearing the same song like once every hour 🥴 moana leave me ALONE ariel SHUT UP#im being dramatic LOL but i just hate having them stuck in my head every day 💀 for some reason theres 3 songs that just play SO OFTEN#IT'S ONLY BEEN A WEEK i need this collab to end. i barely even like any of the scents 🧍🏻♀️Ariel smells good but the rest... not 4 me#WHICH IS A RELIEF HONESTLY bc i do NOT need to be getting more body mists/lotions/etc. AT ALL#I DO like the Moana fragrance but more as homecare than body care. Tiana i cannot make up my mind on LOL some days I like it other days no#cinderella and belle were both BIG no's for me 🚫 jasmine... i get why other people like it and I like it for a quick sniff but nothing more#thanks for coming to my b&bw review LMAO idk why I typed all that 🩷#caitiechat#also omg I dont think I mentioned it on here but I won the little employee award at my store that we do a few times a year 😁😁😁#my manager said I got an overwhelming majority of the votes I was so flattered 😭#it made me feel so much better bc I was worrying about my performance now that it's NOT busy from the holidays and Im not on register#with a constant flow of customers all shift every shift anymore lol. (which I miss so much omg)
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as the end of 2024 has been getting closer ive been both dreading and anticipating the new year and its a feeling tht i really dislike lol (more under cut bc my rambling got way longer than i thought 😦)
like i moved out 2022 and its been amazing for both my mental health and growth as a person since being away from my family gave me the space to figure out what i want to do and how to. idk. live ? got medicated, developed better coping mechanisms, made great friends, etc. i mean im living with my friends rn and theyre like family and i just got licensed to be an lvt and its all great ! but the thing is that my bio family need me and thts probably the root of the issue
cus my family is dirt poor, like living on gov aid, and none of them can work so growing up i was always told how i needed to be successful to take care of them even though i had plenty of rich relatives and i always wondered why none of them bothered to help and decided to put all that responsibility on a kid ?? and i was pretty much raised into being my family's eventual caretaker. from 13-17 i used to be so angry/depressed/resentful about it and hated my family bc it felt like they robbed me of my agency but now, i cant blame them. im not saying they should have done tht to a kid but i understand why. theres a bunch of complicated legal things and other stuff i dont want to get into and my family are either old, disabled, or both and god knows my relatives arent going to help so its up to me yknow ? its why im moving back in with them by 2025 to take care of them. and i love my family, i really do even if i dont tell them bc we dont talk like that and we all know it anyways. my mom is such a strong person despite how everyone looks down on her and i want her to have nice things, i want my family to live in a house that is clean and not falling apart, i want my mom to not have to ever worry about working and to have time for herself bc shes been stuck caring for kids for half her life. i love my family, i want to take care of them, and im angry i never got a choice. family is complicated and i wish it was as easy as just going "i dont want this responsibility" but i know its not
i keep telling myself that this is just how things are supposed to be and im going to spend the rest of my life taking care of them and i thought i accepted it but theres still some small part of me thats reluctant. i know im never going to have a partner or romance bc my family is and always will be my first priority and ig thats sad but i really dont mind. and im not just saying that, like genuinely im fine being single, i dont need companionship and have never felt that loneliness. im just fine with my friends and i dont need anything more, it just kinda sucks i dont get that choice. the whole thing is kinda sad and ive been told as much but these are the cards life dealt me and better me than someone else i guess
truth is im kind of scared, it feels like my life has already peaked and being away from my family has been so freeing but its selfish and damn if i dont want to be selfish for just a little longer. but its hard when i can see my mom getting older and the house getting worse and im angry that this isnt as easy as it should be. this country is awful and the systems in place are cruel and makes life as difficult as possible for people of color, the poor, and disabled. i know i'll get over it and i'll be moving back in and helping them like i promised but i'm only 22. my relatives are acting like i'm wasting my life every second im not helping my family or working towards making 6 figures or whatever and i won't lie it's put doubts in my mind. but im only 22!!!! i dont know. maybe im being dramatic because honestly it could be worse and we're even lucky to have a roof over our heads and to even have a steady source of income no matter how little it is. ive never told anyone the last bit abt being scared and all that, i think its easier to type it than say it, and it also helps i dont have a face to yall and i dont have to look you in the eye. i dont know if ive ever shared this much or anything like this on here either lol. i dont know
tldr; do it scared i guess
#the autism stereotype of 'im freaking the fuck out' with a dead face and monotone voice#ugh. change
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rant!
ok so basically
my roommate told me that she and her summer bridge roommate are thinking about moving into a dorm together this semester, bc the summer roommate is having problems with her current roommate. now normally, i would be fine bc i think myself a nice person, however... this just brings up all my complaints that i had tried to keep quiet about
one, she is the one who insisted on bringing the fridge and microwave from her home so we wouldnt have to rent it (she'll be taking those with her and btw we're only allowed one fridge and microwave per room)
this really isn't a major complaint but she's a recent turned vegan and makes it seem like such a disability and that she's 'helping the world' by being vegan. i get it if it's a health thing or religious but just because you chose to not have the joy of real cheese doesn't mean you're oppressed bbg
adding on to the previous point, ig since she brought the fridge she thinks that she needs to use every. inch. of space of it. like this girl buys entire shelves of food from the store and gets confused when i say i couldn't fit my lunch for the next day in there. like yes, you did bring the fridge (bc you insisted) but these things are supposed to be 50/50 arrangments
she also takes up like 75% of the room. im glad i chose to loft my bed bc now my desk in under there and my drawers but if i hadn't, we would have a major problem. she brought what feels like her whole room plus a few items. i thought i had overpacked but guys, she has so much shit. her desk is covered in things bc she doesn't have a place to put them after already using most of the "shared" storage she brought (and told me not to worry about bc before move in i had expressed just normally fears of moving in)
she has a giant fucking scooter that takes up even more space, keep in mind our room isn't exactly the biggest. and i already have a vendetta againts people who ride bikes and scooters around campus. i do understand that it's easier and for some, a stressless way of getting to class, but when the sidewalk is packed with students walking and you push through on your bike or scooter i want to scream.
she's also like never in the room bc of being with her bf so im stuck in the room cleaning everything that SHE BROUGHT and when she is in the room, she makes offhanded comments about where i put my stuff (i keep everything i own in my little area, and yes sometimes it gets messy but i literally have no space)
and she never really uses all these things she brought??
this is just me lol but im super sensitive to smell and her food, when she makes microwave food, smells horrible and lingers. you might think im being dramatic but guys ive literally thrown up bc of the smell
this is weird: she firmly believes that catholics aren't christian? that led to me trying to explain the history behind abrahamic reglions and the different secs of christianity but she just brushed me off with a "i know an ex-catholic who said they're not christian"
has severe only child syndrome
now, if (probably when) she moves out, she'll be taking everything she brought with her
since she moved in before me bc of her summer program, idk how much space she truly takes up but ik that she's taking the fridge, the dehumidifier, the microwave, the 'shared' storage drawers, the filtered shower head (i bought the sink one), a lot of the cleaning supplies that she insisted on bringing bc she only uses 'sustainable' products, the big trash can that i said i would buy but when i was at the store she texted me and said she already bought one, and our 'shared' water filter
side note: she was always comparing me to her summer roommate, sometimes to the point that one of my friends had to tell her to stop bc i was visibly uncomfortable
and ik it sounds like i hate her and that im just being bitchy, but we are friendly it's just i don't think she's self-aware of a lot of things.
also, last thing: she makes being from texas her entire personality. i genuinely believe she doesn't know that texas is bigger than most european countries with how much she generalizes it's population
i lied, this is the last thing: she mentions a lot how "she's not like the basic girls" which irks me
ok 'rant' over! ik i sound like a bitch and im sorry but i wanted to get this all off my chest.
idk if anyone will have questions but if you do, i'll answer them lol
<3
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Dead Or Alive - Harry Styles
a/n: oof okay hello! this is a little different, i guess? but im very excited to share this with you! don’t ask me how i got the idea for this, no clue but it was stuck in my head for days before i finally gave in and started writing it. please share your thoughts and comments on it, i would love to read them!! hope you’ll enjoy it!
pairing: Wanted!Harry x BountyHunter!Reader
warning: violence, talks of drugs, murder, guns, i really lost track of it lol
word count: 15.2k
masterlist
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The man in the handcuffs growls in pain again, but you just yank him forward, not in the mood to deal with a whining girl trapped in a six feet tall disgusting looking, oily-faced bald man in his forties.
“Y/N! What do we got today?” Jeremy greets you at the front desk, thumbs hooked into his belt as he watches you tug the guy into the hall of the station, pushing him down to the nearest seat as you step to Jeremy who is already handing you the paperwork.
“Dennis Delgado. Took me a few days to find him, but he couldn’t hide forever,” you grin proudly as you grab a pen and start filling the papers out.
Jeremy walks over to Dennis who just looks up at the officer in disgust. It’s not enough that he is a child molester disgusting prick, he is racist on top of everything and now Jeremy is enjoying having the higher ground, Dennis trapped in his handcuffs while Jeremy will be the one to get him behind bars for a long time.
“Nice one. We’ll have a lot of fun with this one,” Jeremy chuckles. “Want me to ring up your brother?”
“Is he in? Would love to have a word with him,” you nod smiling. When you’re done with the papers you hand them over to Stella, the receptionist who gets to work with them right away so you can get your money.
“Sure, I’ll get him for you on my way,” Jeremy nods, grabbing Dennis by his arm, pulling him along on his way to the elevators. “Come on you scumbag, you have a cell waiting with your name on it.”
The two of them disappear and you get into a little chit-chat with Stella while she is finishing up the paperwork. Leaning against the counter you look around, officers come and go in the hall, all of them dressed in their uniform and for a moment you picture yourself wearing the same outfit. At one point in your life it seemed to be part of your future, but now it would be the most ridiculous sight. Y/N, the best bounty hunter in the region in a police uniform? That’s not happening.
The elevator dings and your brother, Robert walks out. He on the other hand, made this vision happen. He has been an officer for about ten years now and though at first he was outraged that you chose the not so gracious lifestyle of a bounty hunter, but you soon became his unofficial partner, handing him over a wanted person every few days, making his work easier. Everyone at the station knows that Robert is the one who plays by the rules, doing everything according to the handbook, the perfect officer, always working to keep up the peace in town while you are… Well, you are a rebel. You could never play by the rules, always sneaking ways to do things according to your desires. You never liked if someone wanted to tell you what to do and how to do it, you are not a team player or either one that can easily managed by higher forces. It didn’t take long for you to realize your nature will never let you be an officer so you chose the other path that’s somewhere near joining the police, but still playing by your own rules.
Being a female bounty hunter wasn’t the easiest when you started off at the young age of seventeen. In desperate need of the extra money after the tragic passing of both your parents, the two of you had to get along on Robert’s slim, beginner paycheck. He was only twenty-three, started working at the station just a year prior, you knew you had to help him out. He kept bringing up cases, worked on them through the nights and when he passed you on the couch from exhaustion, you sneaked your way into the dining room and looked for easy targets. Speeding tickets, light drug trafficking, whatever you could deal with as a high schooler.
Robert hated the idea of you dealing with wanted people, you had endless fights about it, but you were too stubborn to stop and besides, you liked the adrenaline rush you got whenever you caught another one and brought them back to the station. Loved the stunned and shocked looks on the older officers when you managed to catch a bigger fish. It took Robert a few years to come to peace with your choice of lifestyle and now he doesn’t even try to talk you down. Instead, he keeps bringing you cases that pay well and he knows you’d like them.
“Who did you catch this time?” he grins at you, walking up to you and he envelopes you in a short hug.
“Just got Dennis Delgado, Jeremy took him.”
“Poor Dennis, he’ll have a rough evening,” Robert chuckles. “Did you get your money?”
“Stella is already working on it,” you nod towards the lady behind you.
“Oh, I’ve got you, Sweetheart,” Stella pushes herself back from her desk and walks over to you with an envelope filled with your reward.
“Amazing, thank you, Stella,” you grin at her happily. Dennis was worth a little more than the usual, you are well covered for the rest of the month thanks to him.
“Do you have something coming next?” Robert asks, hands on his hips as he watches you put the money away into your backpack.
“Not yet. Got something exciting for me?”
“An old friend,” he nods with a small smile. He reaches behind the counter and grabs a flyer, handing it over to you, a familiar face staring back at you from the photo this time.
Harry Styles is a name you’ve heard plenty of times and you know him well by now. You actually went to high school with him, you were just never in the same group. He was labeled as troubled all through his teenage years, his parents were brutally killed when he was just a kid, he was tossed around from one foster family to the other, moving around town every few months. It was no surprised when he got into some darker circles, he almost got kicked out of school right before graduation but somehow managed to stick around to get his diploma at the end.
You have actually handed him in a few times before. Never for anything bigger than drug trafficking or robbing smaller shops downtown, Harry is actually not as bad as people tend to portray him to be, he was just not blessed with the best background as most people. He is a smart guy and would never hurt anyone for real, this is why you are now staring down at his flyer shocked.
He is wanted for the murder of a local man who was found dead a few days ago in his home, Harry’s hair was found near the body with no other evidence.
“Are you sure about this?” you ask Robert with a concerned look. This doesn’t feel right. Not that you know Harry that well, but it’s very unlike him.
“Very much. His hair was the only thing we found near the body of Dave RIchards so evidently, he is our number one suspect.”
“I don’t know, this doesn’t sound right,” you think to yourself, staring down at the mug shot of him that was taken the last time you brought him in for selling weed to underage kids. You remember it exactly, because bringing Harry in is always… fun, if you could say that.
That last time, he was already expecting you, waiting around in his usual motel room that is somewhat considered as his home.
“My Y/N! You arrived earlier than I expected!” he greeted you when you kicked his door in. He was sitting in the middle of the double bed, rolling a joint as always, not a care in the world about your arrival.
“You knew I was coming?” you cocked your head to the side walking in and stopping at the end of the bed, watching him finish the joint and simply light it before taking a big puff.
“Of course. I was informed I’m on your list again, just thought you’d give me a few more hours, but it’s alright.” He waved around carelessly before holding out the joint in your way, offering you to try it.
“No thanks, I don’t trust your sketchy stuff.”
“That hurt!” he gasped dramatically, placing a hand to his tattooed chest that was partially on display since his shirts are never buttoned all the way up.
You brought him in that day, stopping for McDonald’s on your way to the station before handing him over to Robert. He was actually a great guy, nice sense of humor and good looks, you never thought otherwise, he was just moving around in different circles than you so you were left with the few jokes he always cracked when you took him in every few months.
“Well, it’s not your job to question his innocence. Want to take the job or not?” Robert asks you.
“Yeah, sure. I’ll find him,” you nod and fold the flyer, sliding it into your back pocket.
Normally, you take the rest of the day for yourself after turning someone in, but this situation with Harry just bugs you way more than to just go home and pretend like it’s not all you can think about. Harry is not a murderer, he would never randomly kill a man, he is not a psycho, just a guy with a rough background and some poor life decisions.
You know the route to the motel like the back of your hand. Arriving to the dodgy parking lot you park your car in the far end before taking one last look at the flyer. Then you push it into your backpack and get out, heading to Harry’s room with firm steps. You see no lights on, the door is closed and you almost don’t even get closer, thinking he is not here when you see someone move around inside.
You are almost at the door when a hand covers your mouth and an arm wraps around your body, pulling you back forcefully. It takes you a moment to recover from the shock as you are yanked backwards, but as you are being dragged towards the alleyway next to the motel you elbow your attacker in the stomach before kicking them in the knees. The hands fall from around you and turning around you pull out your pocket knife, ready to cut throats right away, but you are shocked to see Harry hunched over, groaning in pain as he holds his arm to his stomach.
“The fuck, Y/N?!” he growls, his chocolate curls falling forward, they’ve definitely gotten longer since the last time you saw him, he could easily put them up into a bun now. “What was that for?” he whispers in disbelief, his green eyes meeting yours in a scowl.
“What the fuck do you mean? You attacked me!”
“I didn’t attack you, I was trying to fucking save you!”
“From what?!”
“From the fucking asshole in my room who is four times bigger than you and would have probably shot you the moment you kicked my door in like you always fucking do!”
It’s just now processing in you that if Harry is here, the person you saw in the room can’t be him and he surely looked bulky. Harry runs his hand through his hair, straightening up from his hunched position before he sighs tiredly. He looks… worn-out, even more than he usually does. The dark circles under his eyes and beat-up knuckles are new, he usually looks fine despite everything that goes on in his life, but this is a version of him you haven’t seen. He has definitely been through some shit lately.
“What are you doin—“
“No time for questions now, we have to get out of here,” he cuts you off, grabbing your hand and pulling you through the alleyway to another parking lot on the other side of the motel. You spot his old jeep right away, but you yank your hand out of his hold, stopping in your tracks.
“Wait, my car is there!”
“We’ll come back for that later, but they can’t find you here with me or they’ll be after you as well,” he explains, grabbing your hand again as he pulls you towards the car and this time you follow him blindly.
You get into his jeep without even questioning it, not even caring that he is a man who is currently wanted for murder. Your instinct is telling you that you’re completely fine with him and you believe it. The two of you head out of town, taking the route to the next town nearby, but he takes a turn to the left, the jeep rolling onto a dirty road leading along fields filled with wildflowers. You have a guess where you’re going, there are some abandoned cabins near the woods that used to function as vacation homes, but they were slowly left to stand empty for eternity when a luxury resort was built on the other side of the woods.
“Care to tell me what the fuck just happened?” you ask him calmly, turning to look at him. He has one hand on the wheel, while his other elbow is resting on the armrest, fingers tapping on his chapped, pink lips.
“I’m in… deep shit, Y/N,” he admits with a sigh, eyes glued to the road ahead of him.
“No shit, you killed someone?”
“I didn’t,” he states, his eyes meeting yours for a moment to emphasize his truth. “It was a fucking set up and now they are after me every way possible.”
“Who is? And what did you do to get into so much trouble?”
“I’ll tell you about it when we arrive, okay?”
You sit in silence for the rest of the ride until you finally arrive to the cabins. You follow Harry inside one of them and it seems like he has set his base up here a few days ago. There’s a double bed with blankets thrown over it and a few mismatched pillows, a sports bag with his clothes and a few grocery bags on the dusty kitchen counter, candles everywhere since there’s probably no power in the cabin. You wonder how long he has been camping out here.
“About a week ago I got a visit from Hugo McKain, you’ve heard about him?” he asks as he grabs a bottled water from one of the grocery bags and fills up two plastic cups, handing you one of them.
“Sure. I’ve heard that… he is a big fish,” you nod.
“Yeah. He wanted me to work for him, but I sincerely rejected the offer, however it didn’t sit well with him. He threatened me that if I’m not selling his stuff, then I won’t sell anyone else’s stuff,” he explains, walking over to the bed and he sits at the edge, staring at the cup in his hands. “He gave me another day to change my mind, but I said that I don’t want to get involved with any of the heavy shit he deals with. I was hoping he would just willing to forget about it, but apparently, he is not the kind to just let shit go,” he chuckles bitterly. “A few days ago he sent two of his men after me, but I was able to run away. I was ready to pack my shit up and just leave the state forever, but then the fucking asshole framed me for the murder of that guy. A friend called me to let me know that I’m the only suspect in the case and that my face has been sent out already everywhere in the state. Hugo made it impossible for me to leave, I would be caught the moment I stop to pump fucking gas in my car,” he growls in annoyance. “So it’s a whole shit show, the police and Hugo are after me and I’m fucking stuck here.”
You stand there at a complete loss of words, because though you have no evidence if he is telling you the truth, you just know he is and the situation is fucking miserable. Harry drinks his water and throws the cup into a plastic bag that serves as a trashcan, his fingers running through his hair nervously.
“Do you know who killed the guy?” you speak up after some silence.
“Yeah, one of his men called Axel, he is a proper idiot, I’m actually surprised he didn’t leave his DNA back, just mine,” Harry scoffs.
“If you know they are after you, what were you doing at the motel?” you ask, leaning against the wall, curiously eyeing him as he glances up at you.
“Knew you’d come after me, didn’t want them to pull you into this mess too.”
Your eyebrows rise at his words. He went back because of you? Harry notices your surprise, a smug smirk tugging on his lips.
“What? Couldn’t let them lay a finger on my Y/N, right?”
You can’t help but roll your eyes at him. He has always been so flirty with you since day one, always trying to pull your leg, chatting your ears off in hopes that he can finally drag you to bed one day. But you never give in, it all stays just some empty flirting and a playful banter.
“So what are you going to do now?” you ask clearing your throat. There’s just always been something in the way he calls you his Y/N that makes you a tad bit nervous.
“That’s an excellent question to which… I have no answer,” he truthfully admits.
“You can’t hide here forever.”
“You tryna’ lure me into going to the station with you?” he asks with a grin. “To be honest, I’m surprised you haven’t cuffed me yet. You love that stuff, don’t you?” Harry stands from the bed and strides over to you, the height difference between the two of you forcing you to tilt your head up a little as he smirks down at you, enjoying that he has successfully made you blush. “Question is, have you been the one in the cuffs?”
You part your lips with the intention of answering, but nothing comes out. Harry smirks down at you, so full of himself before stepping away.
“Anyway, I think I’m just gonna lay low here for a while and then hopefully I’ll be able to sneak out of town at one point.”
“You wanna stay here?” you ask looking around. The place is fine for just a few nomad days, but staying here for more seems impossible. There’s no electricity, probably no water, some of the windows are broken in, the temperature must drop drastically in the nights so close to the woods.
“Not that I have any other choices,” he huffs, opening a bag of chips from the groceries.
“Don’t you have any friends who can share their couch with you for a while?”
“You think anyone would want to hide a dude who is wanted for murder and who is also in trouble with Hugo McKain? Baby, even if any of my friends were willing to help, I wouldn’t take it. I wouldn’t want to pull them into my shit. Besides, Hugo is probably already keeping tabs of all my friends, he has the connections to know everything about me.”
“And what about me?” you suddenly ask. Harry freezes, eyes flickering at you in confusion.
“What about you?”
“Would he look for you at mine?”
Now it’s his turn to rock a stunned expression, eyebrows shooting up as he stares back at you. He wasn’t expecting it, but truth is neither did you. However it doesn’t take him long to turn it into something entirely sexual.
“You know, if you wanted to see me in your bed, you should have just asked.”
Luckily, you don’t fall under his spell this time. Rolling your eyes you put the cup to the nearest surface and head to the door.
“Alright, changed my mind. Have fun camping out here on your own,” you mumble, reaching for the doorknob, but he is quick to get between you and the door, stopping you from leaving.
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I was just not expecting you to make that offer, alright?” You take a step back, folding your arms on your chest. “Were you serious about that?”
“It seemed like an option. I doubt you’d be expected to be at my place.”
“And you’d actually let me stay there?”
“I guess a few days wouldn’t hurt. Until you figure out what to do.”
Harry stares at you in awe, like you just did the best thing ever for him and the thought that he never had anyone to do such favor for him is kind of heartbreaking. He might be a pain in the ass sometimes, but there’s just something in him.
You help him pack his stuff back into the jeep, leaving the weathered cabin empty again before you head back to town. Harry drops you off a few blocks from the motel so you can walk back to your car, you glance at his door just once, it’s still closed but they could easily still be there.
Harry is already at your place when you arrive to your building, waiting around in his jeep, he has put a beanie and sunglasses on, keeping his head low. As he follows you up to your little apartment, you actually realize that Harry is about to move in with you for the upcoming days, he is going to live in your place, you’ll share your home with him. How crazy does that sound?
Unlocking the door you walk into your small apartment. It’s just the perfect size for one person, a decent kitchen with a small dining table, a living room that also functions as your study, your desk filled with folders and flyers from previous works. Then you have a little bedroom and a bathroom opening from the living room. It’s cozy and homey, but definitely not the setting you would have ever imagined Harry in.
“So, the couch is a pull out, I’ll get you a blanket and a pillow, make yourself… home I guess,” you tell him walking into your bedroom to get him everything he needs. However, he is following you into the room, already snooping around in your private little space.
As you grab him a blanket and pillow, you find him inspecting your clutters on top of your dresser, your jewelry, perfumes and makeup stuff is just thrown out there, and he seemingly takes an interest in your rings.
“Never seen you wear any jewelry,” he huffs as you walk up to him.
“Don’t like them on me that much,” you admit. “Here,” you give them the bedding and usher him out of the bedroom before he gets way too adventurous and starts digging into your lingerie drawers.
When the pullout is all set up and Harry has settled in a little, you are faced with the fact once again, that Harry is in your home and about to spend the upcoming days here with you, since he can’t really roam around the streets.
You make sandwiches for the two of you and sit at the small dining table, eating in silence until you speak up.
“I can ask my brother to help find the guy who did it. There has to be a way to get you out of this.”
Harry glances at you, chewing on his food before putting the sandwich down, swallowing the bite.
“Not really if they don’t find evidence.”
“I’m sure we’ll find something.”
“We?” he smirks at you playfully, earning a blush from you again. You hate the effect he has on you, he is clearly a good-looking guy, you always thought that, even in high school. Thanks to his troubled name, girls easily fall for his bad guy behavior, they just never really saw that being a so called bad guy wasn’t just about the looks, with a slightly similar background you could imagine how hard it really was for him. Though he never really let it show. He is always this whitty, cocky bastard who is ready to flirt his way into your pants whenever the opportunity is given.
“If you keep up with the teasing you’ll find yourself on the street one morning,” you warn him and he just holds his hands up with a smug grin.
“You are the boss lady here,” she chuckles softly before returning to his sandwich.
For the rest of the evening you bury yourself into some other work stuff, you always have a few smaller gigs going on that are easy money, Harry in the meanwhile makes himself comfortable on the couch, watching your tiny TV in silence, letting you do your thing. It’s nearing midnight when you wrap it up and head to have a quick shower. Standing under the hot water you take a few minutes to collect your thoughts and just simply try to get used to the thought that you are in fact hiding a man who is wanted for murder. It’s going to be some pretty interesting days you have ahead of you, that is for sure.
Putting on your oversized t-shirt and cotton shorts you leave a clean towel on the counter for Harry in case he doesn’t have one before heading out.
“Towel is on the counter. Sorry, I don’t have shower gel for men, but the soap is unscented so feel free to use,” you tell him walking out, only to find him already waiting around the door, leaning against the wall. His eyes fall down the length of your uncovered leg, a smirk tugging on his lips.
“If you’re the kind who sleeps naked, feel free to get rid of the textile.”
“Are you a naked sleeper?” you ask tilting your head to the side.
“I can be, if you want me to be,” he grins smugly and you just roll your eyes at him.
“Good night, Harry,” you sigh walking into your bedroom and shutting the door behind you, only allowing yourself to let out a shaky sigh when you are out of his sight. Leaning against the door you hear him shuffling around until the bathroom door closes and the water starts running. You try your best to ignore the thought of Harry currently in your shower naked as you climb to bed and pull the covers over your head. You need the coverage, hopefully it’ll help you with your wandering thoughts.
“Thought you’d deliver Styles by now,” Robert teases you when he meets you at the station the next day. You left Harry at your place, sincerely asking not to trash your home while you’re away and headed to the police station in hopes that your brother might be able to help him out.
“Uh, no. But actually, he is the reason why I’m here,” you tell him with a nervous chuckle.
“What? Did he hurt you or something?”
“No, nothing like that. Can we please talk in your office?” you ask and he nods, leading you up to his office.
Once the two of you are settled and secluded from the rest of the officers, you just decide to start right in the middle and not waste your time beating around the bush.
“Harry didn’t do it. He was framed.”
Robert gives you a surprised look as he leans back in his seat on the other side of his desk. He thinks about your words furrowing his eyebrows before scratching his neck.
“How… do you know that?”
“I just know. He is being framed by Hugo McKain, it was one of his men who killed the guy, not Harry.”
“I have a feeling that your source about this was none other than Harry himself.”
“Does it matter?”
“It does, because of course he would try to defend himself!”
“Harry is not a murderer, Robert,” you snap. “He always owns up to his mistakes and he would never do anything to hurt others. Yes, he is troubled and did a lot of illegal shit in his life, but never anything that could hurt others. He became a target because he didn’t want to join Hugo.”
Robert stares at you for a while, probably trying to figure out whether he should believe you or not. You knew he’d be skeptical, but you can only hope he trusts you enough to help you out in this one case.
“And what do you expect me to do?” he asks after a while.
“He knows the name of the guy. Axel something, can you get someone on his case? Look into the evidence more? Something might come up that could help Harry out of this mess.”
Robert’s jaw clenches as he stares back at you, contemplating his choices but something is telling you he is already in. You won him over.
“I’ll have Jake look into it, I think I know who this Axel guy is.”
“Thank you, Robert!” you cheer in excitement. Jumping from your seat you go around his desk and hug him from behind, kissing his cheek as he tries to escape your embrace. He hates it when you get all affectionate at his work, but you just had to. You head to the door to get out of his hair before he changes his mind, but he stops you before you could leave.
“Y/N, just please be careful with Styles, okay?”
“He is not as bad as people make him sound.”
“I just don’t want him to get you into trouble. There’s only so much I can do to save your ass.” “Don’t worry,” you smile at him softly. “I’ll be alright.”
The rest of the day goes by with catching some stupid guy who was wanted for trying to rob a gas station while drunk, it’s a mystery how he was able to run away, you saw the security footage, the guy was barely standing on his feet, but lucky for you, he is in the exact same state when you surprise him at a bar and bring him in.
It’s past seven when you finally get home. Keying yourself into the apartment you are met with a quite pleasant sight. Harry has pushed the pullout in to make some space in the cramped living room and as you step inside, you are met with the sight of him doing pushups in the middle of the room, no shirt on, just a pair of loose shorts, all his tattoos are on display, a thin layer of sweat covering his body, his curls are held back with a headband. When he hears you arrive, his head shoots up and smirks in your way before doing a few more and then he stops, standing up just as you shut the front door.
“Welcome home, Honey,” he winks in your way and you just roll your eyes at him.
“Turning my living room into your personal gym, huh?”
“I can’t just sit around all day, waiting for you to get home, can I?”
“You can always just fix up my apartment while I’m gone,” you joke chuckling. Setting your bag down on your bed you join him in the kitchen where he is sipping on some water. “Anyway, I have good news for you. My brother said he’ll have one of his guys look into the case. I’m sure he’ll check after this Axel dude you mentioned.”
“That’s great! I’ve also been asking around today, some of my friends said they will try to dig up some dirt that might help me out, but I don’t want any of them to get too deep and then have Hugo go after them too.”
“It’ll be fine,” you nod, convinced that things will turn out well. “Alright, I’ll throw something together for dinner, what—“
“Oh, don’t worry about that. I already ordered, should be here soon.”
“You ordered food?” you ask in surprise.
“Of course. I won’t just eat your fridge out, dinners are on me while I’m here,” he smiles genuinely and you’re stunned by the gesture.
Half an hour later the two of you are sitting on the living room floor, Chinese takeout boxes littering the place around you, having a full on feast because Harry didn’t go light on the order.
“So, tell me, what have you been doing since high school?” he prompts the question. “I feel like I know you but I also don’t. Don’t get me wrong, being handcuffed by you every other month is fucking hot, but I don’t know much about you.”
“There’s not much to know,” you shrug. “I’ve been doing this since I was seventeen, no grandiose career.”
“But did you have any other plans before?”
“Thought about joining the police, but I was never tame enough to follow their rules.”
“Ooh, a little rebel?” he teases you and you throw a handful of napkins in his way, making him laugh.
“You can joke about it, but I’ve had my fair share of trouble as well, you are not the only one who’s been through some rough years.”
“I know that,” he nods, eyes getting serious for a moment. “I’m sorry about your parents.”
“You know about them?” you ask in surprise. You didn’t really share it with anyone, talking about the loss of them just made it harder to deal with it and you also didn’t want everyone’s petty.
“You just know about this kind of stuff when you grow up in foster care. Though you were lucky your brother was already of age.”
“I know. I’m convinced I wouldn’t be here if I had to go into foster care.” Putting down the box from your hands you look at Harry. “I’m sorry you had to deal with all that.”
“Not that it was any of your fault,” he smiles softly, but you can see the pain in his green eyes. Despite not knowing him well growing up, you always felt this weird urge to tell him how sorry you were for everything he had to deal with. He deserved a better childhood and teenage years and most importantly, respect from people. Everyone just labeled him as a lost case because of his background, but no one really tried to help him. Part of you feels guilty, because you could have helped through those years, but you were a little frightened from him as well, believing the rumors and talks about him, though now you know they were probably just stupid gossips.
Harry reaches into your box, stealing a dumpling and you snap on his hand, but he just pops it into his mouth grinning slyly.
“Hey! You have your own!” you tell him off.
“I know, but yours just tastes better.”
“You are such a pest,” you roll your eyes at him as you grab your box and start eating again.
“So, what does your boyfriend think about me being here?” he asks out of nowhere, but you see through his act. It’s his sneaky way of trying to get you to say if you’re single or not, probably already knowing the answer to that, but you choose to pull his leg a little.
“He is fine. Though you might have to plug your ears in a little when he comes over,” you tell him with a straight face and see his fall, a stunned expression on his handsome face.
“Wait, really? You have a boyfriend and told him about me being here?”
“Sure, why wouldn’t I?”
It’s hard not to start laughing, especially when the words process and he realizes that you are in fact taken. The flirty, teasing act is long gone, he presses his lips together nodding to himself as he continues to eat in silence.
“I’m just fucking with you, I don’t have a boyfriend,” you tell him at last, finally letting out a laugh. His eyes snap up at you and a smirk slowly tugs at his lips as he points a finger at you.
“You had me for a hot minute. Nice one.”
“Why were you so surprised when I said I have a boyfriend?” you ask tilting your head to the side.
“Guess the thought was just a little weird, I’ve never seen you with a guy before.”
“That doesn’t mean I’ve never been with any,” you point out, furrowing your eyebrows.
“Oh, I know. I never thought you are pretending to be a nun,” he snorts.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you gasp, feeling like it was a subtle way to call you some sort of slut. Harry looks up at your upset expression and he immediately knows how his words were taken.
“I didn’t mean it like that!” he defends himself.
“Then how did you mean it?”
“I meant that I always thought a girl as pretty as you must have plenty of guys after her.”
Your eyebrows shoot up at how bluntly he just called you pretty. It had a refreshing sound after all the shameless flirting he has been doing when it came to you, and your poor little heart immediately skipped a beat upon hearing his words.
“Well, I didn’t have,” you admit with a sad smile. You briefly dated a guy from another school in tenth grade, but after that, your life was just way too complicated to get involved in a relationship and you haven’t really been able to change that even years later. When you’re very keen on some intimacy you go to a nearby bar and just let whatever man to pick you up and have for the night, but that doesn’t happen too often either, because it seems useless most of the time, you can do the job yourself just fine too, you don’t need some random man to call you his babygirl when he doesn’t even know your name. Some never even bother to finish you, they pass out once they got what they wanted so you prefer being on your own.
“Fucking losers!” Harry huffs dramatically. “They have no idea what’s good.”
“You don’t need to say that just to make me feel better,” you roll your eyes at him, but you can feel yourself blushing.
“I’m not, I was always crushing on you a little in high school, if I’m being honest,” he admits truthfully, managing to surprise you once again.
“For real?”
“Sure,” he nods, turning his focus back to his food as he continues to talk. “Even thought about asking you out to prom one time. But I figured you might not even know who I am.”
“Come on, everyone knew who you were!”
“Are you telling me off for being humble?” he asks grinning. “Okay, let me rephrase it. I didn’t know if you wanted anything to do with me after hearing stuff about me, so I just dodged the idea.”
You chew on his words a little before looking up at him, eyes meeting his green irises, though you are usually not one to get in on the flirting, now you just feel like being a little blunt.
“Well, I always thought you were good-looking.”
“Were? Am I not good-looking anymore?” he teases with a dramatic gasp that makes you roll your eyes.
“Well, the smugness takes a bit away from it, if I’m being honest,” you tell him off making him laugh.
Once you both are well fed you clean the boxes up together, you wash the few extra plates you used while Harry dries them off and puts them away. Opening one of the cabinets he moves the door a bit, examining how it hangs a little low.
“I always forget to fix it up,” you sigh. There’s quite a few things that could use some work, but you just never get to start on them so they are always put aside.
You take your turns in the bathroom as usual and you sit at your desk a little, working on a few stuff before calling it a night. Harry is already lying in his temporary bed on the pullout, scrolling through his phone. The covers hide only half of his body, his naked, tattooed chest is on display, one of his arms is tucked under his head, the muscles on his arm flexing just right. He surely is a sight, you can’t deny that.
“Seeing something you like?” His voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you realize you’ve been caught staring. Clearing your throat you stack up the papers on your desk and head into your bedroom.
“Good night, Harry,” you mumble, feeling your cheeks heating up.
“Sweet dreams, Y/N,” he calls after you before you click the door closed.
The next day you go with your usual routine, Robert checks in with you letting you know he already has someone on Harry’s case, so there’s not much you can do for now, only hope that something will surface that can help him out of this mess. Throughout the day you often catch yourself thinking about what Harry could be doing at home all day and you pray to all higher powers he is not currently snooping through your lingerie.
It’s a frustrating day, you couldn’t find the guy you’ve been after but you were really hoping to finally get the money for him. He is big money, but he makes you work for it certainly. When you arrive home Harry is nowhere to be seen, but then you hear the shower running so you figure he must have just been working out and is now taking a shower. Two pizza boxes are set on the dining table and you sigh in relief that you don’t have to think about cooking with him around. Going to the kitchen you are about to grab two plates when you notice that the cupboard door that’s been hanging low a little is now fixed. It’s as new as it never was since you’ve been living here and it gets you wondering if anything else has been taken care of. Going through the kitchen you start to realize that all the little things that’s been waiting to be fixed are now working perfectly: the handle on one of the drawers, the loose tap, the shelf that’s been crooked for a while, it’s all perfect now.
The bathroom door opens and Harry walks out wearing a pair of black sweatpants, his hair is wet and he has a towel hanging from around his neck.
“Oh, hey. Didn’t hear you arrive,” he breathes out throwing the towel to the back of one of the chairs around the dining table.
“Just arrived a few minutes ago. Hey, did you fix my kitchen?” you ask furrowing your eyebrows at him.
“Uh, yeah. Took a look at the stuff that seemed off. Also fixed the shoe rack near the door and the hangers in the bathroom.”
“Oh wow. You really shouldn’t have.”
“Didn’t you tell me to fix the place up while being here?” he teases you with a smirk as he leans against the table.
“That was just a joke.”
“I know,” he chuckles softly. “But I really didn’t have much to do today so I thought I might make myself useful.”
“That’s… actually very nice of you. Thank you.”
“No worries.”
“So how was your day?” Harry asks as the two of you are chewing on the pizza, sitting at the dining table.
“Why are you making small talk like we’re a married couple?” you scrunch your nose, taking another bite from your slice.
“What, I can’t be nice?”
“You can, it’s just you are usually not,” you point out.
“Or you are just never around when I decide to be nice,” he grins. “You usually just burst into my place, handcuff me and then bring me in. That doesn’t give much time to be nice.”
“I wouldn’t cuff you if you didn’t try to run away the first time I wanted to bring you in,” you retort shrugging.
“Okay, first of all, I was not expecting you to just kick my door in and have a fucking knife pointed at my throat, of course I tried to escape! And second, I quite enjoy being handcuffed by you, so I guess it’s not that bad.”
That smug smirk is back on his lips again and you wish you could just wipe it off sometimes. He is so full of himself!
“You are always coming with this cuffing thing. Get a hold of your kinks, Styles.”
“You can’t tell me it doesn’t turn you on. I bet you’d like that, if you haven’t already been cuffed in the bedroom,” he snorts, taking a big bite, the sauce dripping a bit from the corner of his mouth that he wipes with the back of his hand.
“My kinks are none of your concerns,” you sternly reply, but it just makes his grin wider.
“Oh, so you do have kinks! Tell me more about them!”
“Well what are yours?” you retort, hoping it would shut him up, but it has the opposite effect on him. Leaning back he swallows the food in his mouth before starting the list.
“Well I do love getting handcuffed, I’m into spanking, both ways. I have a weird thing for—“
“Alright! I’ve heard enough!” you cut him off. “Stop, just… stop,” you breathe out.
“What?” Harry chuckles, clearly enjoying the situation more than you’d want him to. “Don’t tell me you’re too prude to talk about sex.”
“I’m not,” you answer right away.
“Okay, then tell me about your kinks!” he teases you some more. Snapping your eyes at him you can tell how much he is enjoying making you so uncomfortable, but you also know that he thinks he’ll just make you blush and you won’t tell him a thing. So you decide to give him his own medicine.
“I do in fact like to be handcuffed, I love a good spanking, when my ass cheeks turn red from the slaps, that makes me cum very hard. I love a good old choking and I particularly enjoy giving blowjobs because I don’t have a gagging reflex, makes men go fucking nuts when I have them down my throat to the last inch, I get off their reaction easily.”
Harry’s lips part as he stares at you with a stunned expression, he definitely did not expect that answer, or any answer at all. That face alone makes up for the slight anxiety that took over you talking about what you really enjoy in the bedroom. Your eyes wander down and a triumphant smirk tugs on your lips.
“Don’t be such a horny teenager, I can see your dick getting hard,” you tell him before flipping the pizza box closed and walking into the kitchen you put the remaining of it into the fridge.
“You are such a tease, Y/N,” he shakes his head with a soft chuckle. “But it might backfire, because now I’m gonna get off thinking about spanking you,” he grins at you, but you just shrug, heading to the bathroom.
“Do whatever you want, fantasizing is free,” you tell him before locking yourself in the bathroom.
You’d be lying if you said you don’t think about him in the shower. As your hands move down your body, your fingers wander between your legs, gently playing with your clit while thinking about Harry spanking you. Knowing that he is kind of into the same things as you makes your fantasies even more vivid, but you don’t let yourself get off. You wouldn’t want him to hear you moan under the shower, he would tease you about it forever.
When you’re all done you step out of the bathroom only to get startled by Harry who is standing right at the door, wearing only his boxer briefs.
“Shit!” you gasp, snapping your hand to your chest.
“You took awfully long in there, Y/N,” he smirks at you, but you just roll your eyes at him. “If you ever need help washing you back, don’t be shy to ask me to join.”
“Keep dreaming,” you mumble under your breath as you walk past him and make your way into your bedroom.
“I already do that!” he calls after you before you shut the door closed.
Throwing yourself to your bed you take a deep breath closing your eyes. If he keeps up this act, you have no idea how you’re gonna survive having him around any longer.
Two days go by in the same manner. You spend most of the day out doing your usual stuff, you actually manage to catch another guy who was a small reward, but it’s more than nothing. Harry usually has dinner ready and waiting for you by the time you get back home. During these two days he has fixed up basically everything that wasn’t working in your apartment, freeing you from doing it yourself for probably twice as long as he did.
You sit and eat together, Harry usually tries to get under your skin with some more flirting that you return with a cold shoulder, but then, when you’re lying in the comfort of your bed or standing under the hot water in the shower, you always find your thoughts wandering off to the man on the other side of the door.
Ashamed to admit, but you’ve gotten yourself off once thinking about him. You woke up in the middle of the night from a quite hot dream that, of course, featured a shirtless Harry and you just couldn’t stop yourself from bringing you some relief. For a little while your hands weren’t yours, you imagined that Harry’s big, calloused and ring clad fingers were moving against your body and you needed every drop of self-control not to moan his name out as you came. You blame it on him being so comfortable shirtless around your place, he has been really making himself feel home. Not that you’re complaining, he is a sight for the eyes certainly, but it’s also giving you a hard time.
Robert soon asks you to swing by the station to discuss some details about Harry’s case. You can tell he couldn’t dig up anything helpful, he would have already mentioned it through the phone, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have anything that can be useful in further investigation.
“So, I’ve caught wind of Axel Morris being involved in the death of the victim, but we haven’t been able to recover any evidence that would point towards him, unfortunately,” Robert explains as the two of you sit in his office. “Didn’t want to bring him in for questioning either because then Hugo would find out we are after him.”
“So what can be done now?”
“I’m… really not sure, Y/N. If Axel doesn’t magically confesses the murder on tape, I’m not sure I can do anything to help Styles.”
Chewing on your bottom lip you’re trying hard to think of what to do. This can’t end like this, there has to be a way out for Harry…
“Look. I know you’re trying to cook up something to help Styles, but I’m not sure I can give you much time.”
“What do you mean?” you ask with a puzzled look.
“I mean that…” He glances at the door and then leans closer, speaking more quietly. “If I had a guess where he could be found, I would say he is at your place as we are speaking. I can’t let a guy walk free who is wanted for murder, Y/N. I eventually have to bring him back.”
“Alright, alright. Just give me a few more days. I’ll figure it out,” you plead, running your hand through your hair. Robert sighs, shaking his head.
“You have three days. That marks ten days since the warrant has been out. If you don’t bring me evidence by then, I’m sending the guys to your place to get him.”
“Three days, alright. I’ll… figure it out. Thanks, Robert,” you nod, leaving his office in a rush.
You have three days to find evidence against Axel and free Harry, but how do you even start? You’re good at what you do, but this is kind of out of your field and you’re not sure you can deal with it.
Walking around town you try to come up with an idea, but end up doing what you always do when you’re stuck on a case. Thanks to your work you’ve built up quite a web of connections, you always know someone who knows someone who is exactly the person you need. So sitting at a diner, munching on a late lunch you start calling your connections to see if you can dig up anything that could help.
A few hours later the situation becomes brighter and you finally have a somewhat useful plan so you head home to let Harry in on what you’ve come up with.
He is seemingly surprised when you arrive home earlier than the usual, he is sitting at the dining table, a bowl of instant noodles in front of him as he is watching some video on his phone. Like usually, he is only wearing a pair of sweatpants, his tattooed abdomen on full display.
“Oh, hi! Something happened?” he asks, concern showing in his eyes as he watches you kick your shoes off and storm into your bedroom, going straight to your wardrobe to dig up one particular outfit. “Y/N?” you hear him call out for you, his voice coming from your door.
“Yes! I knew I still had it!” you cheer in triumph as you hold up the latex set that clearly leaves very little to the imagination. When Harry sees it, his eyes go wide and his imagination probably gets wild for a moment, because he clears his throat as he looks at you puzzled.
“What do you need that for?”
“It’s part of my plan that will get us evidence against Axel Morris.”
“I’m not really following, so please elaborate?”
“I talked to Robert, he said we need to get him to confess. Now, I made a few phone calls and found out that our friend, Axel is a regular at this strip club called Siren. I’ll pretend to be a dancer and wrap him around my fingers and get him to confess while recording. You said it yourself, he is a real dumbass, I’m sure I can make it work.”
Harry stares at you frozen for a long moment before he lets out a heartfelt chuckle and now you’re the one confused about what’s really going on.
“S’cute you think I’m letting you close to that man. Funny, that was a good joke. Alright, what do you want for dinner?” he asks, walking back to the dinner table, but you chase after him.
“It’s not a joke, Harry. Pretty much our only chance to get you out of this mess!”
“You are not going anywhere near that guy and that’s not up for debate.”
“Not that you can tell me what to do!” you scoff at him.
“Y/N, you have no idea what you’re talking about,” he shakes his head sitting back to the table, stirring his pasta around with the spoon.
“I certainly know, and this is pretty much your only chance to save your ass, Harry.”
“Not if it means you go near Axel, nah,” he shakes his head calmly, as if it wasn’t even an argument and he had the right to grant you permission.
“Well, I’m doing it and you can’t do anything about that. I’m going in tomorrow. I know one of the dancers, she is helping me set it all up,” you shrug, your attitude meeting his careless one, but he doesn’t like your answer, not even a bit.
“Y/N, you are not going there!” he snaps, standing up, the chair falling back from the sudden movement. “That psycho killed a man or did you forget about that?!”
“Okay, so what’s your plan to save your ass? Because there’s literally no other choice,” you retort giving him a frown as you march back to your room and Harry follows you.
“But it won’t be you dressing up as a stripper, seducing a fucking murderer to get him to confess!”
“So then what is it going to be?!” you snap at him facing him again. “Because Robert gave me three days to sort things out before he comes here and takes you in himself!”
“Then I’ll go to jail! No big deal!” he throws his hands into the air like it was just a minor inconvenience and not a case of murder that could put him behind bars forever.
“Are you fucking insane?” you laugh in disbelief. “You’re willing to lose the rest of your life for what? Nothing at all?!”
“It’s not nothing, Y/N. You are not getting yourself into this mess and it’s not up for debate.”
“You hold no control over me, Harry!” you scream at him at this point, fed up with his bullshit.
You find yourself pinned against the wall in a blink of the eye, Harry is pressed up against you, hands grabbing onto your forearms as he keeps you in place firmly, one of his thighs coming between your legs as his face is dangerously close to yours now. He knocks the air out of you for a moment and you stare back at him with parted lips for just a split second before your instincts kick in.
You easily knee him in the crotch, giving you just enough opportunity to grab one of his wrists and twist it behind his back, forcing him to get on the ground, growling in pain.
“Fuck! Y/N!” he groans, snapping his other hand against the hardwood floor. You give him another squeeze as a warning before letting him go and he falls to the ground for a moment before he pushes himself up to sit on his heels.
“You still think I can’t protect myself against a man?” you sneer at him walking over to the bed to grab the outfit that was tossed to the side in the hustle.
“Shit, I think you broke my dick!” he breathes out hunching over and you just smile to yourself as you hand the outfit up to the side of your wardrobe.
“Don’t be such a crybaby, you’re fine.”
“Don’t think so, might need a get-well kiss on it though,” he smirks through his painful expression and you roll your eyes at him. How is he still at it when you just kneeled him in his crotch? “Okay, your message came through very clear though, but I’m still not a fan of your plan,” he sighs finally standing up from the floor.
“It’s gonna be easy, I’ll get him a little drunk, offer him a private dance, make a move and get him to talk. If he really is that dumb like you said, I can easily get him to open up, just gotta make sure he is focusing on something else,” you explain gesturing towards the outfit on the hanger.
“You can’t wear that, Y/N.”
“This is what strippers wear, I don’t see what the problem is.”
“My problem is that it’s like… nonexistent. There’s no textile at all!” he rages, still eyeing the red latex set.
“Are you… jealous?” you ask, starting to get a feel of what’s really going on. Harry’s head snaps in your way and the look in his eyes answers your question even when he tries to hide his real reasons.
“Jealous of you becoming a stripper? I bet I can make more than you if I became one,” he scoffs smugly.
“Oh my god, you are so fucking jealous!” you laugh, enjoying this one in a million moment. “What’s next, you have feelings for me? Are you gonna confess your undying love?” you tease him.
“Okay, you had your laughs, that was enough. Excuse me if I’m looking out for you and I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”
“Don’t get all smitten with me now. I’ve been doing just fine without you so far.”
“Yeah, how many people did you bring in for murder?” Harry questions and that leaves you without an answer. Not that you don’t know it, but because the number is exactly zero. You’ve been doing your job for quite a while and there’s been all kind of cases under your hands, but not murders. Though you are completely capable of defending yourself, you’re not sure you want to deal with monsters who took a human’s life. The only reason you took Harry’s case was because you had an inkling feeling from the very start that he did not do it.
“Just as I thought,” Harry scoffs. “Listen, if you really want to do this then I’m going with you. No way I’m gonna just sit around here and wait to see if you make it back home.”
“How do you plan on leaving the house? Someone might recognize you and then it’s game over.”
“I’ll just… disguise myself,” he shrugs. “Can’t be that hard.”
You never thought the day would come when you see Harry Styles wearing a fake mustache and a ridiculous wig, secured with a beanie to his head. The moment the two of you finish his disguise, you can’t hold your laughter back. He looks so damn ridiculous, you can barely breathe through your laughter as he checks himself out in the mirror.
“I look like a fucking pedophile,” he shakes his head chuckling as he pushes some fake hair out of his forehead. “Where the fuck did you find this wig?” he snaps at you in disbelief.
“Does it matter? You look so fucking bad!” you laugh hysterically and Harry just stands there, waiting for you to finally stop, but it seems like he is not bothered by your reaction. He probably finds it equally funny too.
It’s currently seven pm, you have to head to Siren soon to start your fake shift as a stripper and you haven’t been able to talk Harry down from following you, so there you are, getting ready to fool everyone around you. Harry with his awful disguise and you with your stripper outfit.
When you finally catch your breath you leave Harry in the living room to get ready as well. Following a heavy makeup with dark, smokey eyes, you also put on a wig, a short, red bob that’s part of the outfit. Then you squeeze yourself into the latex, the tiny top barely covering you, the skirt is not even a skirt, rather than just a belt. As an extra to the fit, you’ve put on a red corset, though it’s more so you can hide the voice recorder since the original outfit doesn’t give too many places to do that. You pair it all with fishnet tights and a pair of black, thigh-high boots. As you check yourself out in the mirror you don’t even recognize yourself. Y/N is officially gone, the girl in the boots is… Crystabel.
Opening the door you step out of your bedroom, Harry is standing in the middle of the living room, busy with his phone so at first he doesn’t even see you walk out.
“Ready to leave?” he asks, eyes still on the screen of his phone.
“I… guess?” you breathe out, feeling extremely self-conscious in this revealing set.
When Harry finally looks up his mouth drops open. He is not even trying to hide his hunger as his eyes rake down the length of your body. He takes his time to take in every inch of your exposed skin before his gaze settles on your eyes behind your long fake lashes.
“Holy shit,” he breathes out and it gives you quite the confidence boost.
“You like it?” you ask, striking a pose as you push your hips to the side and place your hands on your waist.
“I-I’m… I’m fucking speechless,” he chuckles as you walk closer and grabbing the strings of his hoodie, you tug on the playfully while he is still shamelessly checking you out. “I don’t know how I could live this long without seeing you like this.”
“You are such a flirt,” you roll your eyes, but just as you are about to step away from him he grabs you by your waist and pulls you against him firmly. Your hands move to his broad shoulders right away, trying to keep your balance in his hold.
“I might be a flirt, but you are the hottest woman I’ve seen and I admit I will be fucking jealous of every man that’s gonna lay their eyes on you tonight.” His voice is low, full of lust and if it wasn’t for his funny disguise, you would have melted right into his arms in a heartbeat.
“I can’t take you seriously with this mustache on,” you chuckle softly, running your fingers over the fake facial hair, the pad of your fingers slightly touching his soft lips underneath.
“Just wait until we get back home and I get rid of it,” he smirks and winks at you, making you chuckle, but you can also feel yourself blushing at his words.
You put on a trench coat to cover the racy outfit as the two of you make your way to the club. Harry is driving, but you took your car in case someone might recognize him near the club. Arriving Harry parks at a darker corner in the parking lot and he pulls out a little box from his backpack.
“Alright, let’s wire you up, Love,” he smirks as you undo the coat and let him help you get the devices situated on you.
The voice recorder gets pushed into your stomach, hiding behind your corset. It’s thick enough that it doesn’t give away that anything is hidden under it, it’s just a little uncomfortable for you, but you are sucking it up.
“Here, put this into your ears,” Harry hands you an earpiece that you place into your right ear, hiding it with your wig. “It’s not the best quality, but you’ll be able to hear me and I’ll hear everything around you. We need a safe word if anything happens so I know I have to go inside.”
“This is starting to look like a spy movie or something,” you mumble under your breath as you start buttoning your coat again.
“Don’t turn it into a joke, Y/N. Axel might be a stupid jerk, but don’t forget he killed that man. He doesn’t care if you’re a woman or not, or if you’re a real stripper or not.”
“Alright, alright,” you sigh nodding. “How about… cherry?”
“Okay. Use it if you are in trouble or someone is hurting you or anything.” You nod, fidgeting with the end of the coat, but Harry grabs your hand and makes you look at him. “I mean it, Y/N. I don’t want you to play the hero.”
“I won’t, calm down. I gotta go now. I’ll see you soon,” you tell him before getting out of the car and heading to the backdoor. Glancing back one last time you see Harry standing at the hood of the car, watching you intently as you disappear from his sight.
Sienna, who is helping you tonight is already waiting for you at the backdoor. You met her a few years ago when you caught her abusive ex and took him in. She said she owed you one for freeing her from that asshole and now you are finally here to collect that favor.
“Damn, you look good!” she grins, pulling you into a short hug.
“You think it’s gonna be alright?” you ask, pulling the coat open to show her the whole outfit.
“Fucking fantastic. No men will be able to focus on anything than your boobs,” she snorts, pulling you inside.
The plan is easy. You won’t be out all night, Sienna will be your eyes and when she spots Axel arrive, that’s when you come into the picture. Sienna will escort him to a secluded area and tell him he has a free lap dance which will be, of course, performed by you. Some flirting, some seducing and hopefully Axel will be dumb enough to let a some sort of confession slip.
Sienna takes you to the changing room and you stay in the corner, trying not to be in the way as you watch the girls get ready. There are ten girls in total, five of them are dancing tonight, the other five are servers, but they still dress like dancers. They all wear equally revealing outfits, just like you and as you watch them move around so confidently, you start to get more and more nervous. What if Axel figures out you’re not a real dancer right away? Or if he notices the recorder pushed into your stomach? This plan is definitely not the safest you’ve ever come up with, and you are starting to doubt yourself now that you are so deep in it.
“Y/N?” you hear Harry’s faint voice in your ear. “Do you hear me?”
“Yes,” you breathe out and hearing his voice calms your nerves a little.
“Everything alright?” First you nod, but then you realize he can’t see you.
“Yes.”
“Okay. Are you nervous?”
“Very,” you admit with an awkward chuckle. Luckily, Harry doesn’t bring his usual cockiness out, feeling how serious the situation is.
“You can still come out and we can just go home. You don’t have to do this.”
“No, I want to do this,” you firmly answer. “Just… talk to me a little. Please.”
“Alright, I’ll tell you about when I wanted to ask you out to prom,” you hear him start and you can’t push a smile down as you sit and wait, listening to his soothing voice. “You were wearing this pretty white sweater that day and tight jeans, you looked so fucking good, Y/N. I saw you walking to your locker and you smiled at some random guy and I was instantly jealous.”
“Really?” you ask quietly.
“O, yeah,” he chuckles. “I told you, I had a crush on you. So I thought about asking you out, wanted to just walk up to you and casually ask if you wanted to go with me. But then I just watched you and realized that you probably wouldn’t want anything to do with me, so I just watched you get your books out of your locker and then you walked right past me, looked me in the eyes and I straight up felt my knees turn into jelly. Good thing I was leaning against the wall. You walked away and I never asked you out. Still regret that,” he admits and your heart flutters at his words.
As weird as it sounds, you remember that day. Especially because when your eyes met Harry’s you felt kind of the same. You felt intimidated and wondered why he was watching you so intently, but you would have never guessed he wanted to ask you out.
You see Sienna walking in, her eyes find you and you immediately know it’s show time.
“Harry?” you breathe out at last.
“Yeah?”
“I would have said yes,” you tell him before you follow Sienna out and the blasting music pushes down Harry’s voice in your earpiece.
The bright lights of the back are switched to the dim, red lighting in the main bar area, a dancer is already on the stage and the place seems packed for the night as all men are hungrily watching the girl on the stage, throwing dollar bills at her shamelessly.
Sienna pulls you to the bar and leans closer to your ear so you can hear what she is saying.
“He is in one of the private rooms, told him the dance is on the house to thank him for being a regular. I asked one of the guards to stand nearby.”
“Thank you, S,” you nod at her as she squeezes your hands.
“Good luck, girl,” she smiles a little bitterly before she shows you the way to the room where Axel is currently waiting for his private dance.
As you stop at the door you take a deep breath, staring at the doorknob for a moment, trying to brace yourself for whatever is about to happen in there.
“I’m going in,” you say, partially to yourself, but mostly to Harry so he knows what’s happening though you don’t hear an answer before you open the door and step inside.
The room is mostly what you were expecting, a small stage with a rod in the middle, across that a long, plush, deep burgundy couch. The walls are black, just the red led lights illuminating the place.
And there he is. Axel Morris is sitting in the middle of the couch, manspreading so widely like the asshole that he is, arms leisurely draped across the back of the couch as his hungry eyes immediately snap to your body.
Axel is big. He is a large man and you realize that the moment you see him. Though he is sitting you can easily tell that he’s tall and he is definitely bulky. Could end you in a blink of an eye and knowing that he is capable of murder is just an eerie thought that doesn’t leave you alone. But you suck it up and get into character, only thinking about one thing: help Harry out of this mess.
Music with low bass starts playing through the speakers as you make your way over to Axel who grins at you disgustingly, making it hard for you to keep the façade.
“Hey big boy, heard you’ve earned a dance for yourself,” you coo at him stopping at the edge of the stage as you keep eye-contact with him. You lean against the edge and spread your legs just enough to tease his imagination about what’s about to come.
“Hell yes, I did! Hope you’re a good dancer, babygirl. Haven’t seen you around here.”
“I’m new. But I’m really good, that’s why they sent me,” you smirk at him sweetly as you walk closer until you’re standing in front of him. He reaches out and grabbing your hips he pulls you to straddle his lap and it catches you by surprise but you don’t fall out of character.
“Then show me what you can do. What’s your name?” He licks his lips as you start moving, doing your best from movies you’ve seen with strippers in them.
“Crystabel, but you can call me yours,” you hum, grinding and bouncing yourself, completely unleashing your inner hoe. “Tell me, big boy. Are you as dangerous as you seem?”
“Oh baby, you have no idea,” he grins proudly.
“Really?” you coo, pushing yourself up against him. His dirty hands find your ass and you want to push them away so badly, but you let him have his way with you for the sake of the plan. “What’s the worst you’ve done?”
“Why does a pretty girl like you want to know about that, huh?” he cocks his head to the side, eyeing you with suspicion so you know you have to be careful.
“Because I have a thing for those stuff. I love pain and blood, it gets me off always,” you smirk at him teasingly, grinding yourself against him to divert his attention a little from the words spoken.
“Mm, yeah?”
“Yeah, I love that kind of stuff,” you moan, running your hands down your chest, his eyes hungrily following your every move and you know he is zoned out. It’s going perfectly.
“Well, I’m the perfect man for you then, babygirl. I’ve done all the things you can imagine.”
“Really? You are turning me on, big boy,” you murmur lowly, turning around for a bit so he can get a good glimpse of your backside as well. “Have you… taken anyone’s life before?” you bluntly ask, hoping you aren’t moving too fast and he won’t snap at you.
“Not sure I should be talking about that with you, pretty girl,” he smirks smugly. You turn back to face him, pushing your crotch against him as you try not to gag feeling his erection under you.
“I’m good with secrets, Honey. My lips are sealed,” you grin at him, stroking his oily face and try your best not to wipe your fingers into the cushion of the couch. Axel smirks at you, clearly enjoying the show you are putting on, his fingers are digging into your thighs as his eyes are practically glued to your chest.
“I’m a killer, babygirl.”
“Yeah?” you gasp, faking your excitement. “What did you do, big boy? Tell me, make me wet,” you purr biting into your bottom lip, pushing your chest out some more to distract him from his consciousness that might keep him from answering.
“Killed a guy recently,” he smugly admits and your adrenaline is high in the sky. You are so close to what you need!
“Oh my, sounds like a dirty job.”
“It was.”
“Saw it on the news a guy got killed not long ago, did you do that?” you smirk at him, his hand slapping your ass and you fight yourself not to punch him in the face.
“That Richards guy? Yeah,” he nods and you almost start screaming in your triumph. This dumbass really did just confess to you, because you had your ass and tits out for him!
“Cool. What’s your name, big guy? Wanna know who I’ll think of when I touch myself later,” you pant into his ear, you need him to say his name otherwise the confession might go to shit.
“I’m Axel, babygirl,” he grins, leaning dangerously close to you, he clearly wants to push his tongue down your throat but you push yourself away and up from his lap.
“Our time is up, big boy. See you later!” you sing and walk out of the room while he is still kind of zoned out.
The moment you are out, you start running. You can’t have him realize what just happened and stop you. Pushing your way back to the dressing room you grab all your stuff and spring out of the building. Harry is standing at the entrance, his ridiculous disguise is gone as he spots you with wide eyes. He probably heard everything and wanted to be there for you when you get out and as soon as you reach him he grabs your hand and the two of you run to the car. Right when you get into the car, you spot Axel running out from the front entrance and he definitely realized what just happened.
“Hey! Get back here you slut!” he shouts as Harry starts the car and you melt into the seat, scared of what’s about to happen because you see Axel reach to his back and the next thing you know is that he has a gun in his hand.
“Harry! Go!” you scream when you see him aim at the car and right at that moment, the wheels screech as Harry pushes the gas pedal to the fullest and the car yanks forward.
Your heart drops to the floor when a bullet shoots into the side of the car as Axel tries to stop the two of you. Harry takes a sharp turn and leaves the car park with full speed. You see Axel from the mirror, he is raging and keeps shooting after you, but he has no aim or whatsoever. You reach the end of the street and you feel like you can finally breathe again.
“Oh shit, fuck,” you mumble, chest heaving as you grab onto the armrest for some kind of leverage, your adrenaline is still pumping through your veins from the action movie-like scene that just happened.
“Are you alright? Did he hurt you?” Harry asks, eyes dancing between the road ahead of him and you as he tries to figure out if anything happened to you.
“I-I’m fine, he was just… fucking nasty to deal with you,” you groan at the thought of his hands on you. You’ll need the hottest shower after this, that’s for sure. “Go to the station, we gotta bring the tape in now,” you tell him as you reach into your corset. Pulling the recorder out you huff in relief, it’s been pressed into you for way too long. The tape is still rolling so you end it and then rewind it, checking if everything you need is on it. Luckily, it caught the whole thing perfectly, that means Harry is not going to jail. Well, not this time at least.
He is speeding down the streets as you get rid of the wig and put on your coat, you don’t want to walk into the police station dressed like a hooker and have the word spread that Robert’s sister has been making money some other way lately.
Arriving to the station you hold the recorder so tightly as if your life depends on it while Harry reaches for your other hand and firmly holds it in his warm palm. You walk inside and immediately spot Jeremy at the front desk. Letting go of Harry’s hand you run up to him.
“Jer, I got evidence for the Richards case! I got a confession on tape,” you beam at him holding the recorder up. He gives you a stunned look as he takes the recorder.
“Confession? How do you—“ He is cut off when you hear Harry’s voice from behind you.
“Hey! What the fuck!” he snaps and as you turn around you see that two officers are already on him, trying to handcuff him. Jeremy quickly forgets about the recorder as he joins in on strangling Harry. but you grab his arm and try to pull back.
“No! He didn’t do it! Listen to the tape!” you cry out, desperate to end this mess, but it feels like no one is listening to you.
“Harry Styles, you are under arrest for the murder of Dave Richards. You have the right…” One of the officers starts saying the usual speech as they drag Harry away while you are begging to Jeremy to listen to you.
“Jeremy! He didn’t fucking do it!” you scream, tears rolling down your face.
“What do you mean?” he asks giving you a puzzled look. It was Axel Morris! One of Hugo McKain’s men! They are trying to frame Harry!” you explain, while Harry is being taken away. “Harry, no!” you shout after them, but the officers don’t stop.
“Don’t worry, Y/N! I’ll be fine!” he calls after you before he disappears from your vision.
“Jeremy, please just listen to the fucking tape! I got his confession!”
“I’ll look into it, but I’m afraid Harry is spending the night here,” he sighs, looking down at the recorder before he walks away.
“Fuck, no!” you choke out.
When you finally stop crying you rush out of the building and call your brother, not even caring that it’s past midnight. He better answer your call or you are showing up at his house and start banging on his door until he opens it.
“What the fuck, Y/N?” he growls into the phone.
“Robert, they fucking took Harry in! I had the confession on tape, but they just wouldn’t listen, they arrested him!”
“Hey, slow down, what are you talking about?”
Taking a deep breath you tell him the whole story. The club, the dance, the confession and then how you came straight to the station but they arrested Harry without listening to you.
“Alright, you can’t do much now, Y/N. He is still a suspect but I’ll call Jeremy to look into the tape. If it’s found relevant Harry will be out in the morning okay?”
“Please come in early in the morning and make sure he is let out, please!” you cry out, feeling so helpless after everything that just happened.
“I will. Meet me at the station at six, okay? It’ll be alright. Go home, have some sleep and then we’ll make everything right in the morning.”
You do as Robert asked, go home, have a shower, wash the night off of your skin and lie in bed however you are not able to sleep, not even for a minute. You keep thinking about Harry and what might be happening to him now. They better get their shit together and let him out in the morning or you are losing your mind. You didn’t go through all this just to have him put behind bars anyway.
It’s not even six when you are already at the station, anxiously waiting for Robert to show up. You keep glancing up at the building, thinking about how Harry is somewhere in there and you can only hope he’ll be out with you shortly.
When Robert arrives he goes straight up to check out the situation with the tape and Harry. Waiting for him down in the hall is nerve-wrecking, you feel like time has stopped. When he finally appears again you jump to your feet running up to him with high hopes.
“The tape has been examined, it was classified as evidence. Jeremy has already put out an arrest warrant on Axel. Harry is no longer a suspect. He’ll be down once the paperwork is done.”
“Oh thank God!” you breathe out and throw yourself at him, hugging him tighter than ever.
“Look, but there is something I need to talk to you about,” he says with a serious look.
“Okay, what is it?”
“We might be able to get this Axel guy, but I’m pretty sure Hugo is already after the two of you. We have a whole team for him, working on catching him finally, but it might be smart if you just left town for a little.”
“Oh. Yeah, sounds logical,” you nod.
“Let me know if you need help with that. I can arrange something for you.”
“We’ll see. I have to talk to Harry first.”
“Harry, huh?” Robert smirks down at you knowingly and you feel yourself blushing. A lot has changed lately around you and Harry and you guess it’s quite evident for everyone else as well. “Just so you know, he asked about you during the night. Wanted to know if you are alright.”
“Yeah?” you breathe out with a small smile.
“Yes. Might have been wrong about him a little. Tell him I said hello, I need to get to work now,” he nods with a fond smile.
“Thank you, Robert!” you call after him as he waves in your way before disappearing in the elevator.
Waiting around in the hall you keep looking towards the hallway, hoping to see him appear finally, but the minutes are just dragging by way too slowly.
You’re impatiently sitting on one of the benches by the wall when you finally see him walking down the hallway, leisurely running his hand through his hair, a tired smile sitting on his lips when he sees you leap from your seat and launch at him, throwing yourself into his arms.
“Hey, hey! It’s all good, Love. Told you not to worry about me,” he chuckles, but holds you tight anyway, his arms wrapping around you as he lifts you off the ground, taking a few steps forward.
“Of course I fucking worry about you, idiot!” you mumble into his neck before leaning back you look at his pretty face.
“Yeah? Does this mean I had the right to worry about you last night?”
“You were?”
“Fuck yes,” he laughs. “You have no idea what it was like to sit outside and listen to everything that fucker told you. Wanted to punch him in the face so badly.”
“So heroic,” you grin at him, your face already inching closer to his, arms still wrapped around his neck.
“Only for my favorite stripper,” he winks at you, making you gasp.
“If you dare to bring it up again and call me a stripper, I swear to God I—“
You don’t get to finish your threat, because his hand snakes to the back of your neck and he pulls you into a hard kiss, his lips smashing against yours. Melting into the kiss you open your mouth for him without hesitation, his tongue meeting yours as he kisses you with so much vigor and passion, he makes you bend your back, leaning back as he holds you firmly in his strong arms. And suddenly, you feel like you’re seventeen again, making out with your high school crush in the school hallway, luckily, you are kissing the same person you wanted then.
“I’m fucking starving, babe,” he breathes out once you finally pull away from each other. “For you as well, but can we get some real food?” he asks as he laces his fingers together with yours, heading out of the station.
“Sure,” you chuckle. “Hey, there’s something we need to talk about.”
“Love, told you, you can handcuff me to the bedframe, I’m into that stuff.”
“Shut up!” you laugh smacking his chest as the two of you walk out to your car. “It’s not about that,” you murmur with a soft blush. “Robert said we should leave for a while, Hugo might be after us after what happened last night.”
“Yeah, thought about that myself too,” he nods as he gets behind the wheel without even asking if you want him to drive or not.
“So what should we do?” you question, sitting in the comfort of your car. Harry reaches for your hand and brings it up to his mouth, kissing your knuckles softly before he smirks at you.
“Have you been to Ireland, Love?”
“No,” you breathe out, a little stunned by the question.
“I have a friend over there, I’m sure he would love to have us there for a while. What do you say?”
“Are you for real? You want to go to Ireland with me?”
“Yeah, would be fun, don’t you think?”
“Okay,” you smile in awe. Even after that kiss you had doubts he would want to run away with you for the time being. But he is definitely planning to have you around longer. “Yeah, Ireland sounds fun.”
“Great. Then let’s head home to pack,” he smirks, starting the car. “Oh, Love?”
“Yes?”
“Don’t forget to bring your handcuffs,” he grins and you just laugh at his smugness before leaning closer to kiss him quickly before the two of you finally drive away from the station.
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!
#harry#styles#harry styles#harry styles imagine#harry styles au#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles oneshot#harry styles one shot#harry styles x you#harry styles x reader#harry styles x y/n#dead or alive
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BlackHeart Bakery
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Who says Halloween can’t be romantic?
Pairing: Emo! Jungkook x Reader
Word Count: 3.7k
Genre: fluff
A/N: HI OMG IM SO SORRY THIS IS LATE. I love you, I hope you like it. I’m sorry it isn’t longer but, I still can’t wait for you to read it.
-you never imagined that the quirky lil bakery down the street from your university would change your life
-But it did
-“Omg shut up, you’re so dumb.”
-“Rawr xD”
-“Did you just say rawr xD out loud??? That totally defeats the purpose of its existence...”
-“Don’t cite the deep magic to me witch, I was there when it was written.”
-“And now you’re quoting the chronicles of narnia- alright just go back to sleep you big dummy...”
-“Mmm but you married a big dummy so what does that say about you”
-“Jungkook don't spoil it oh my god!”
-“Like they don’t know what’s coming already- spoiler alert losers! I get the girl.”
-“I hate you...”
-“Mm yeah- I love it when you talk dirty to me baby. The last time you said that- we ended up fuc-“
-“Ok! That’s enough! Our story begins...”
-Jungkook’s bakery was quite famous around your city
-If people didn’t come for the gaudy Halloween decorations
-They came for the music
-Exclusively pop punk, if you’re wondering
-It was like 2009 everyday
-Which was comforting, considering the world has gotten a little
-Tricky
-Since then
-But anyways
-If they didn’t come for the music or the decorations
-They came for the AMAZING espresso
-And the spooky themed treats
-But if you’re being honest
-You think the main thing that keeps them coming back
-Is Jungkook
-If his sweeping black hair didn’t get you
-Or the adorable cheeky twinkle in his eyes
-It was the tattoos and the piercings
-He looked like he walked right off of a black veil brides music video set
-He was hot
-This was obvious
-But he didn’t seem to think so
-You had come to the conclusion that he was oblivious
-he shoved his feet into his big black doc martens every morning
-Slipped on his beaded bracelets and studded chokers
-Pulled his fall out boy t-shirt over his
-Massive
-Tattooed
-Biceps
-And just thought hm
-I’m pretty average I guess (lol)
-That’s a direct quote from him btw
-Men truly are hopeless
-Jungkook opened the bakery two years ago
-He had mentioned to you that he had saved up money from his 3 part time jobs to put a down payment on the building
-Which was wedged between a sex shop
-And a thrift store
-And honestly his bakery
-Blackheart Bakery, if you’re being specific
-Fits right in
-Jungkook refuses to hire new staff
-“They won’t do it right.” He whined to you one day
-“One time I tried to hire this guy and he put the sugared googly eyes on the cookie skeletons ALL WRONG”
-“How do you put googly eyes on wrong?” You had giggled
-“you just do- i- See? This is exactly why I can’t hire anyone...”
-You had started chewing on the end of your pencil in the midst of your laughter
-It was an unconscious habit
-And it makes Jungkook shift uncomfortably, his hands moving off of the top of your table
-“Don’t do that...” he had muttered, smirking to himself as he walked back behind the counter
-he did that a lot
-He’d mutter something
-Mildly flirtatious under his breath and then
-Just walk away
-It was quite confusing
-But honestly you had a feeling he was just a filrty person
-You certainly weren’t the only girl he smirked at
-Not that you pay attention
-Ok
-Maybe you do
-Kinda
-Pay attention
-but it’s not your fault!!!!
-You just
-Can’t help but feel a little jealous
-You kiiiiiinda have a little thing for him
-Ok
-Maybe it’s a big thing
-Maybe it’s a massive
-Gigantic
-Towering
-Crush
-But look at him!!!
-You simply couldn’t be blamed
-It was his fault
-Yep
-That’s what you’re going with
-It was Jungkook
-And his tight t shirts
-His ripped jeans
-His dangly earrings
-His tattoos
-His big
-Stupid boots
-Ugh ok
-Focus
-You have work to do
-The whole reason you began coming to Jungkook's cafe was so you -could find a consistent place to study for your exams
-You were in school to become a teacher :)
-And teachers have to study very very hard
-Educating the youth is no easy feat
-Jungkook had asked what you were studying during the first week you arrived at his spooky house of baked goods
-“Oh I’m an education major”
-“Ahh so you’re getting an education about...education.” He concludes
-“I love it.”
-“So meta.”
-“Are they educating you on the disparities between impoverished children and wealthier children?”
-His wide eyes were brimming with genuine curiosity
-You kind of got a kick out of how candid he was about such heavy conversation topics
-“Not as much as they should be but, I’m actually writing a paper on a similar topic right now...”
-This caused a brilliant grin to come over his face
-It was almost blinding really
-And it made your heartbeat all wonky
-“Of course you are. You look smart like that...”
-He had backed away from your table then, seemingly satisfied
-Had you passed the vibe check?
-“I’ll leave you to your paper.” He nodded to your laptop but as he walked away, he pivoted back towards you on and the heel of his combat boot, “welcome to Blackheart Bakery by the way, let me know if I can get you anything.”
-Another brilliant smile is sent your way
-“Thank you.” You had smiled back, sending a tiny wave his way
-Which in turn, made HIS heartbeat all wonky
-You’re cute
-Like really cute
-And despite how often it may seem like his eyes are elsewhere
-They are ALWAYS on you
-Every chance he gets he is glancing your way
-Smirking to himself at how endearing you are
-Brow furrowed
-Lips pouted in concentration
-Completely oblivious to his gaze
-He has to remind himself to look away
-He doesn’t want to be a creep
-“Creepy men deserved to get kicked in the teeth...”
-He’s said this to you before when another patron had made you uncomfortable
-Jungkook kicked him out immediately
-“If you don’t leave, I’ll have no choice but to kick you in the teeth. One, because I can’t compromise my personal philosophy and two because you’re making my favorite customer uncomfortable.”
-Oh look there goes your heartbeat again
-WONKY
-The guy leaves in an angry rush, flipping Jungkook off in the process
-Saying something about leaving a bad Yelp review
-He doesn’t care tho
-He definitely doesn’t want to be a creep
-You’re just so
-Pretty
-Ugh
-He rolls his eyes at himself behind the espresso bar
-The latte in front of him neglected
-In need of a bit of foam
-“Focus Jeon, she’s just a chick...”
No wait
-“She’s just a woman. A woman who I respect, like I respect all women...”
-He’s been watching a lot of feminist theory on YouTube
-He likes staying educated
-And also fuck the patriarchy
-The man waiting for his drink has arched a brow at this point, wondering if his barista has lost his mind
-“Uhhh medium...” he checks the cup for his awful hand writing, “ghostly toasted marshmallow latte!”
-“Thanks.” The guy mutters, throwing a judging look Jungkook's way
-He gives him a lazy salute as the guy struts away with a briefcase in tow
-“Thaaanks.” Jungkook mocks him, his face scrunching up in annoyance
-Stupid man
-With his stupid briefcase
-As Jungkook is pulling out a batch of cream cheese frosting stuffed pumpkin muffins
-Or as Jungkook calls them
-PUNK-in Muffins
-Movement at the counter catches his eye
-is that
-”oh shit...” He grunts, hastily wiping his hands on his apron and rushing over to the counter
-normally he would meander
-stroll
-or even slump to greet any new guests at this hour
-and by this hour
-he means 45 minutes before closing
-Jungkook’s bakery is open til midnight on weeknights
-9pm on Sundays
-and 3am on Saturdays (for the culture of course, gotta keep it spooky)
-tonight happens to be a Friday night and the person awaiting his assistance is
-you
-”You’re still here?” He gawks, the black polish on his nails glimmering as he punches in a few keys on the register
-You offer him a tired and slightly amused smile, “No. Y/N died around 4:30, you’re speaking to her ghost. Please leave your message after the tone.”
-Jungkook cracks a smile, his palms resting on flat on the counter, “Do ghosts check their voicemails?”
-“Oh of course not but, I will be checking yours because you have access to caffeine.”
-Jungkook laughs
-no...he giggles
-and it’s fucking cute
-but you digress
-“I feel like I should cut you off...this is your 4th latte; I’m pretty sure you’re 80% caffeine at this point...”
-“Noooo, don’t do that.” You whine slumping against the counter, “I just need to finish this one page...”
-He quirks a brow as he scribbles something on your cup, unimpressed with your statement, “You said that three hours ago. I’ll make you another one but I’m not putting an extra shot in.”
-Your face turns up in protest but he click his tongue against his teeth , shaking a manicured finger at you
-“Ah ah- nope. I don’t want to hear it. You either take that or I’m making you a hot chocolate and shutting the buildings power off.”
-With a dramatic sigh, you concede
-“Ugh fine. Here-” You go to hand him your debit card but he shakes his head
-“Put that away.”
-You want to protest but given the fact that he’s made the rules thus far during this interaction, you doubt you’d be able to stop him.
-A smile appears on your face then, appreciative of his generosity
-“Thank you.”
-He merely grins, waving you off before rolling up the sleeves of his black Blink 182 shirt
-as soon as his tattoos are out
-all the moisture leaves your mouth
-you try your hardest not to stare at him
-expertly, he eases the espresso shots into the milk, tongue poking between his lips in concentration
-and you
-being sleep-deprived
-and a little loopy
-decide to
-flirt????????
-if you could even call it that
-which you could but you shouldn’t
-“For the record, when I finally dig my way out of this of mountain of death I’m stuck in, I will definitely take you up on that hot chocolate...”
-Jungkook’s brow quirks at the tone of your voice, his hands suddenly itching with nerves
-was that
-was that flirty?
-should he flirt back?
-“My hot chocolate is legendary. You won’t be disappointed.” His lips display a small grin as he places the lid atop your finished latte, “Also mountain of death is a great name and I WILL be stealing it.”
-You giggle
-again
-“and I WILL be suing you for copyright.”
-He laughs now, wiping up the bit of milk he spilled
-the sinewy muscles in his forearm tensing and untensing
“Good luck getting me to show up to court.”
-and that’s kinda how it was between you and Jungkook
-for like six months
-it was a little bit flirty but never anything to push either over you over the edge.
-and speaking of being on edge
-recently, you had gone from vacationing in your timeshare on the edge
-to signing a 35 year mortgage contract
-4 bedrooms
-2.5 bathrooms
-of pure
-unrelenting
-stress
-you could feel it in the middle of your back
-shoving itself up between your shoulder blades
-your body seemed to ache with it
-the worst part being
-it was Halloween
-You should be out with your friends, having fun
-wearing itchy costumes and drinking sugary drinks
-but instead, your headed towards the bakery to work
-Jungkook was behind the counter, smiling happily at a family dressed like the cast of scooby doo
-from what you could see he was wearing a skeleton onesie
-his jet black hair tousled perfectly above his head
-he looked adorable
-(and hot)
-He notices you instantly, his face turning up in surprise
-you offer up a small wave and head over to your table
-you know he’s going to say something about you being there but
-you don’t really have much of a choice
-this work has to be done
-it takes him a second to spot you but when he does
-he seems to perk up
-his smile brightening as he looks back towards his customer
-as you’re setting everything up, you feel a presence (not the spooky kind) at the end of your table
-it’s Jungkook and he has your regular order in one hand, along with something wrapped in skeleton-patterned parchment paper
-“I know, I know.” You acknowledge before he’s even able to chide you for being here
-He smirks “What are you doing studying on the holiest day of the year??”
-You giggle
-“The holiest day of the year huh?”
-“Of course. Halloween is the one night a year that the homies can dress like total -sluts and no one can say anything about it.”
-This makes you giggle again
-“And you went with slutty skeleton huh? I love it- it’s like as naked as you can possibly get.”
-He chuckles, gesturing to his costume
-His floppy black hair getting in his face
-“Damn right baby.”
-The way he grins tells you the pet name is a joke
-But the deepening of his voice gets to you anyway
-“Thank you for this. I promise I’ll get out of your hair early tonight.”
-“The only thing I’m worried about getting out of my hair is this white spray paint. You’re welcome to stay as long as you want.”
-He’s put a streak of white spray paint in his raven locks
-Why? You’re not certain
-Does it look good on him, like everything else does?
-Absolutely
-Its been a few hours since your night of studying began
-Jungkook’s dropped off two free lattes since you’ve arrived
-As well as a slice of his ‘I write cinnamon not tragedies’ bread
-Which was equally hilarious and delicious
-You caught him glancing over at your table a few times but you didn’t think anything of it
-He’s probably just checking to make sure that no one needs your table
-His bakery is packed most nights but Halloween is a special night at Blackheart Bakery
-He has a trick or treat counter set up with free (homemade) candy
-A photo op complete with a fake haunted house backdrop
-A Halloween playlist
-And a bunch of discounts on his signature lattes and food
-you watch him amongst the chaos
-He is completely unfazed
-He seems elated at the amount of customers he has
-he grins and laughs at something a man dressed like Thor says at his counter
-he seems entirely in his element
-you realize that the denial tactics you’ve been trying out haven’t been working
-because this floppy haired, tattooed, slutty skeleton/baker kind of has a hold on your heart
-you’ve been friends for a long time now
-he always makes sure you’re taken care of
-he always asks if you’re ok
-he always gives you this little grin
-it feels like a secret sometimes
-but maybe it’s been his way of letting you know where he stands
-he’s been bringing you lattes and pastries for months now
-he never charges you full-price
-he always reminds you not to work too hard
-he
-fuck
-he likes you doesn’t he?
-you look back over at the counter to see him bending over and handing a skeleton cookie to a little girl dressed like Captain Marvel
-he laughs at something she says
-his eyes focused entirely on her and whatever she seems to be proclaiming to him
-your heart goes wonky again
-alright
-enough is enough
-you’re doing this
-Jungkook’s done so much of the work thus far
-it’s time for you to seal the deal
-and if he rejects you, well…
-you can just crawl into a hole and never come out again
-easy peasy
-You can feel his eyes on you as you get up to take your place in line
-luckily there isn’t anyone else behind you
-rejection with an audience would certainly be worse
-Jungkook has his witty comment ready for you as you approach the register
-“I know for a fact you haven’t finished your third latte and I’m not making you another one until-“
-“I’m not here for another latte.” You laugh, trying to ignore the thrashing of your heartbeat
-“No? Well, are you finally going to try my Welcome to the Blackened Chicken Parade Burger then? I’ve been asking you for like three weeks…”
-god he’s fucking cute
-“I’m here to ask you out.”
-Jungkook swears he feels his heart stop
-“You’re here to…”
-He repeats the first part of your response as his he didn’t hear you
-his black fingernails anxiously tapping against the countertop
-“I’m here to ask you out- on a date.”
-Jungkooks face seems to go through various stages of confusion before a shy smirk presents itself on his pretty mouth
-“Me? You’re asking me-“ He places a hand on his chest, “-out on a date?”
-“Yes!” You laugh, slapping the counter a bit too hard, your nerves getting the best of you, “Are you down?”
-He shakes his head but his answer contradicts his movements
-“So down, beyond down. There is no one on Earth who is more DOWN than I am. Yes. My answer is yes. 50000% yes.”
-you can’t help the smile on your lips
-“great. So are you free next Friday then?”
-He grins with his teeth this time, nodding emphatically
-“Consider the shop closed.”
-and so it was
-you returned to your table moments later
-feeling on top of the world
-you did it
-you asked Jungkook out
-and he said yes
-and now you
-NOW YOU HAVE A DATE WITH JUNGKOOK
-LOOK AT YOU GO
-TAKING CHARGE
-you try your best to engage with your studies but with Jungkook on your mind
-its really hard
-roughly two hours later, things at the bakery have finally started to slow down
-“Hey uh- Y/N?”
-Jungkook's voice that pulls you out of your studying trance
-he’s standing at the entrance of his back room, waving you over with his hand
-and who are you to deny him?
-you make your way over there, annoyed at the instant increase in your heartrate
-he stands awkwardly to the side and gestures to the boxes on the metal rack
-“I just remembered that I’ve never given you a tour of the place. I give all my regulars a tour of the stockroom and my office and uh-”
-he cuts himself off and clumsily cups your cheek
-he pulls you into a kiss
-a really good kiss
-his lips are so warm
-he smells like cinnamon
-you could literally die happy
-The ridiculous nature of his first attempt to kiss you, makes you giggle into his mouth
-you feel him smile, his hands smushing your cheeks together as he pulls away
-“Ok I lied. There is no tour. I’ve just been watching you focus on your computer for the last two hours and you’re just really fucking cute and-”
-this time, it’s you who cuts him off
-“You better give me an actual tour next time. How else am I going to steal your secret recipes?”
-he scoffs in mock offense
-“Ah ha! So that’s the only reason you asked me out huh? Should I be calling you Plankton instead of Y/N? Ew no wait- that would make me Mr. Krabs and he’s a dirty capitalist...”
-You laugh, “Oooh good point. Guess you’ll just have to be Karen, my computer wife.”
-This makes him laugh now and the sound warms your soul
-“I could live with that- I like your last name better anyways.”
-with another kiss, your adventure with the emo baker of your dreams begins
-It may have been Halloween but it sure felt like Christmas to you
#headcanonween#jungkook#Jungkook fluff#Jungkook bts#bts jungkook#Jungkook 2020#emo! jungkook#boyfriend! jungkook#Jungkook fics#Jungkook fic recs#jungkook cute#Jungkook hot#tattoos jungkook#Jungkook tattoos#fluff#bts#bts fluff#bts fics#bts fanfic#bts fic recs
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Grif
For the character ask! Sorry this took me a while, I can't copy and paste on mobile, so I waited till I got on desktop tumblr! Thank you so much for asking about him, I could go on forever lol so this is gonna be fucking LONG. Please, anyone, feel free to ask about any other character, too. These are fun.
Why I like them: Grif is, for lack of a better word, complex. On one hand, it's like, okay he's just a funny comedy character. But on the other hand, he's like every all of my favorite archetypes of a character. He's crafty but stupid, selfish but selfless, antisocial but friendly, the straight man but the dramatic guy, he's snarky but oddly caring: the reluctant hero. It's kind of paradoxical, and I feel like not only do I relate to him, but I just really enjoy him overall. Whether it's because he's a good brother, being a complete dickbag because he doesn't know how to handle emotions, being a complete cynic on the battlefield, or being hyperactive and snappy, it's just... ah. He. Everything in his life just happens, and he has to deal with it, and yeah he'll kick and pout and probably eat everything but in the end, he's gonna choose his family and he cares deeply... even when he can't really show it.
Why I don’t: I see this a lot in myself too - the fact that he's impulsive and inherently negative when he speaks specifically. his words don't match his actions. He often doesn't hesitate when it comes to making negative comments because they are easier than saying something nice, but what his intentions are are completely different. in other words, he's a jerk, lol. Especially in season 15. I know people felt bad for him because he was partially right and went insane on Iris, but he lowkey deserved it. He said he hated his friends, and even his closest friend. He didn't want to admit that he was a good person just because he didn't want to help. yeah, it was valid, but he needs to learn how to make a case without fucking everyone emotionally and being so clammed up. >:/ sometimes it feels like he regresses in character, as much as he's matured. i guess that's realistic and just the writers making comedy, but also the way he handles Doc specifically irks me. so mean spirited for no reason, as funny as it is.
Favorite episode (scene if movie): OH MY GOD, okay, literally, every single episode with Grif starring as a main is fucking gold. I think for this I'm going to say, uh, This One Goes to Eleven. Even though it's not Grif-centric, it's the episode that's my favorite overall because it introduced me to RvB and made me like Grif right away, simply because he was attacked so much and I felt so bad for him. Another great one that sticks out right now in my sleep deprived state, is Grif does a Rescue. Augh. And the episode where Grif and Simmons get stuck underground in the caves.
Favorite season/movie: Season 8 (shotgun!!!, hyperactive ai grif), Season 11 (hanging in the canyon with simmons), Season 4 (the tank and blue simmons w/ grif), Season 5/6 (kai and rat's nest), Season 12/13 (the recruits, grif building the snowmen), Season 14 (backstory with simmons, Room Zero), Season 15 (you know why)
Favorite line: OK, don't make me choose. There are SO many that are good!!! I think one of my most favorite things that Grif says is "yoink!" It's so adorable! I also really enjoy "BLUEEE TEAAAAM SUCKKKKKS" with his epsilon double, the whole "invisible nap" scene, "what are we, on a date?"/"I can tell you what we weren't doing", "no one made me, I made me", "WERE GONNA FUCKING DIE" when charging at the meta, "that's a figure of speech?" [when carolina says im so hungry i could eat a horse is a figure of speech], "dexta grif he who shall not be messed with!"... I'm sure I'm missing a lot, he has SO many snarky funny lines, but these are some off the top of my head.
Favorite outfit: LOL THIS IS SUCH A FUNNY QUESTION BECAUSE THIS IS RVB. HAHAHA. Uh. Season 6 probably. I just like Halo 3 Graphics. Also s14 Room Zero because THEY DREW HIM FAT CANONICALLY. THANK YOU.
OTP: I'm with the majority of people in the fandom who like Grimmons! I think Grimmons is the only ship that I really vocally ship with my whole heart besides OC ships. I just very much enjoy their dynamic -- it's very angsty, dialogue full, intimate yet so unspoken. It's just a really good pair to write about and see the development of through canon. And, not to mention... season 15... hrk...
Brotp: I really REALLY want grif/tucker, grif/church, grif/locus BROTP. SO SO SO BAD. I've always seen grif and tucker as bros, grif and church are HILARIOUS together and we were ROBBED of more time together, and grif and locus are fucking adorable.
Head Canon: I have a lot of headcanons about Grif, but one of my favorite ones is that he has half-lidded eyes, like he's always sleepy. I also headcanon him as bisexual, though I think that is a popular headcanon!
Unpopular opinion: I dunno if I have super unpopular opinions about Grif... maybe that I think that his labryinth wasn't as bad as it seems at first? A lot of people seemed to think that though, yknow. Like if you look deeply into it, it's actually kinda fucked. But I feel like we should have gotten the Hawaii scene anyways. Hm. I also didn't like how they altered the canon so that Grif wasn't drafted. I think it does add something to his char that he chose to go, but I always really liked the aspect that Grif didn't control that, and yet he still did this on purpose. He was good on purpose.
A wish: A badass Grif carchase scene for the love of FUCK. We need to have him drive more stuff !!!!!!!!
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Have him betray the reds -- i think every other red has betrayed the team at some point. please god for the love of god dont do this to grif. it really adds and says something about his character that he doesn't ever betray his team.
5 words to best describe them: (eye roll) eh. fuck it.
My nickname for them: this isn't really my nickname, since I mostly just call him grif -- but 'gif'. It's cute, and my QPP came up with it! I also really like dex. augh
#rvb#grif#dexter grif#red vs blue#ask#asks#thank you for this#sorry for the length you just gave me a place to infodump#and i really thank u for this
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ready or not - j.jk
genre: friends to lovers, enemy to lovers, (almost a slow burn?), a mix of everything lol character pairing: jeon jungkook 9bts) x female oc warnings: not really any lol just angsty fluff kinda stuff word count: 5.4k (it’s alot) authors note: i wrote this months ago and it’s not finished but i can finish it if yall want? let me know :)
______
(prompts from @im-here-to-help-you-all-write)
“i think the longer you look at it, the worse it gets.” “yeah, kinda like your face.”
“i need your help.” “holy shit, i never thought i’d hear you say that.’ “please don’t rub it in right now.”
“i don’t feel like i’m ready for this yet” “you’re going to have to be, because we’re out of time.”
you can’t believe you actually had to do this. the last person you ever wanted to look at was your only shot at getting out of the situation you brought upon yourself. you had originally counted on one of your other friends to help you out, but of course, life never seemed to work out the way you wanted it to.
“jin, please. can’t you just cancel and come with me?” you begged, watching as your older companion continued to chop away at some vegetables.
“you know i would love to help bamboozle your family with my impeccable acting skills, but unfortunately, i do have a business to run. this weekend is a big deal for the restaurant and joon would kill me if i left him alone to handle such a thing. and besides, we all know joon can’t toast bread without having to call the fire department first,” jin laughs. you laugh softly, knowing jin had a point. poor namjoon had amazing business skills, but unfortunately that means he lacks in the cooking department.
“i guess you’re right,” you mumble begrudgingly.
“why not ask jimin if he can go?” jin asks, sliding the chopped vegetables into a pot.
“my mom knows him, she’ll know something isn’t right. and besides, he and hobi are going to a dance camp for school,” you shrug.
“and tae? yoongi?” jin asks.
“he’s got that test retake for his photography class and yoongs has an audition for an entertainment company in gangnam,” you sigh. you’re really proud of all your friends and the successes they have, but you really wished they could’ve helped you in your time of need. but you couldn’t be that selfish, so maybe you had to admit defeat.
“you know, you could just ask jungkook,” jin asks nonchalantly.
“you know i can’t do that,” you answer bluntly, refusing to even entertain the idea.
“i mean, you could,” jin laughs, putting the lid on the pot and onto the stove top, turning to you afterwards.
“jin, you know i can’t. he is the last person on earth i would ask to help me. i would rather die of embarrassment than to ask him for his help,” you dramatically claim.
“you just might if you don’t ask. besides, what's the big deal? it’s only for a weekend,” jin shrugs.
“yeah, a whole weekend of him pretending to be my boyfriend. jin, we can barely tolerate each other as is, having us cooped up together and pretending like we actually like each other is a whole other ball game,” you said.
“well, here’s the way i look at it. either you tell your mother that you don’t have a boyfriend and face embarrassment at your mother's wedding, or you can suck it up, ask jungkook nicely to do you this one favor, and have fun this weekend. you never know, jungkook might actually be up for it,” jin says, an underlying suggestive tone in his voice; one that you never caught.
you had to admit, jin was right. as painful as it was, jungkook was your only chance at escaping this nightmarish weekend.
-
you found jungkook in his usual zone of comfort: with his lips attached to some random girl he probably barely knew. you found yourself scrunching your face in distaste. such a vulgar display in a library no less. you huffed off your second doubts and approached the table with confidence. you noticed that neither party acknowledged your presence, so you knocked on the table to gain their attention. reluctantly, the girl pulled away first to throw you a bitter look.
“jeon, can we talk?” you say softly, not trying to cause a disturbance.
“i’m kind of busy, can’t it wait?” jungkook asks, a smug look on his face, the girl sat next to him donned a complacent smile on hers.
“please, i saw you making out with some bimbo blonde yesterday, i’m sure you can find some other toy to play with when we’re done,” you smirk, watching the look on the girls face fall with every passing word that escaped your lips. she glanced over at jungkook with disgust before grabbing her belongings and walking away in a fit.
“great, well there goes my whole afternoon,” jungkook scoffs. he leans into his chair, folding his arms over his chest.
“you’ll deal. look, i need your help,” you admit, much to your dismay.
“holy shit, i never thought i’d hear you say that,” jungkook laughs ironically.
“please don’t rub it in right now,” you groan.
“how can i offer my service to you?” jungkook smirks, looking up at your obviously irritated figure.
“i need... i can’t believe i’m saying this. i need you to be my boyfriend for the weekend,” you spit out.
“you what?” jungkook asks incredulously. you don’t blame him for his confusion. what you were asking was heinous, add to the fact that you two barely tolerated each other? it was the biggest taboo situation you could’ve put yourself in. but you were desperate.
your mother, as loving as she was, was relentless. she just wanted the best for you. you were about to graduate college soon, about to get a real career and be a real adult. and to her, that meant start a family as soon as possible. and that couldn’t happen without being in a relationship first. and what better way than to hook your daughter up at a gathering for family friends? cause nothing says love like a wedding, right?
“what’s in it for me?” jungkook asks. you looked at him in disbelief.
“wait, you’re actually considering it?” you asked.
“well, you gave me a proposition, so why not?” jungkook asks.
“uh, because we’re not necessarily friends? it’s not like you owe me anything to even consider the idea,” you chuckle.
“you might not be my friend, but that doesn’t mean i’m not yours,” jungkook shrugs, finally standing up and collecting his scattered books. you hadn’t actually noticed them before, you just thought that the library was a good place for jungkook to hook up, not an actual study zone.
“well, uh, what do you have in mind?” you asked, answering his question finally.
“i need a date for this work thing, and my usual hookups aren't going to cut it. they’re not exactly what you would say… modest?” jungkook jokes, causing you to laugh a little bit.
“sound like a deal?” jungkook asks after a moment of silence passes. you pretend to consider his proposition, as if you actually had a choice. you look up at him and you can see that he saw that too.
“what kind of work thing?”
=
“where are you going?” jimin asks, watching you step out of your bedroom clad in a cocktail dress. you really would’ve rather been at your shared apartment, cuddled up next to jimin and tae watching some horror film eating greasy food, but alas, you had to uphold your end of the bargain.
“remember i told you that in order for jungkook to uphold his end, i have to uphold mine? apparently, he works at some magazine company and they’re having a company gathering to celebrate the issue's 90th anniversary and he needed me to come with,” you groan, strapping on your heels.
“you’re going all out for this,” taehyung comments, a teasing tone hidden in his words. you looked up and glared at him, knowing what he meant.
“if i put forth 100%, maybe he will too,” you say.
“oh, he most definitely will be putting in 100% effort,” jimin says, low enough for only taehyung to hear which makes him giggle. you look up and see jimin smirking at you which makes you groan internally.
suddenly, the doorbell rings and you thank whatever being there is that saves you from the conversation that was happening, with or without your participation. you pull the door open and the first thing you see is jungkook, properly dressed head to toe. you notice the bow tie pressed snuggly against his neck, not a wrinkle in his suit jacket or his dress shirt. his long hair was parted down the middle, brushed out out of his eye. you hated to admit it, but he looked breathtakingly beautiful.
“wow,” jungkook finally says, eyeing you in a way that made the blood pool in your cheeks.
“uh, yeah. let’s- let’s go,” you murmur, noticing the boys in the living room giggling at your guys’ interaction. you shove him in his chest. he grabs your hands and laughs, pulling you out the door.
“what did i miss?” jungkook asks. you roll your eyes, noticing the way jungkook held onto your hand, even after you got further and further away from your apartment, but not minding the warmth his hand provided against your cold one.
“trust me, nothing you want to hear, and nothing i’m willing to repeat,” you scoff.
=
jungkook was right. he had warned you beforehand that everyone at his job was stuck up and snobbish and would continuously point out that fact that you were no model. and like he had forewarned, all you heard all night was “you’re too pretty not to be a model” or “jungkook ended up with you?” you were appalled, sure, but you didn’t take their words to heart. you don’t know these people, and after tonight, you’re never going to see them again.
but jungkook flinched every time someone opened their mouth. he felt bad for you, but when he saw you delicately handle the situation, he knew you would be fine. still, it didn’t make him feel any less bad.
“we can leave whenever you want, you know?” jungkook whispers into your ear. you look up at him and smile.
“sounds like you’re using me as an excuse to ditch this snooze fest,” you giggle. jungkook smiles back down at you and laughs with you.
“busted,” he finally says.
“thank god, let’s ditch these runway wannabes and get some pizza. i’m starved,” you groan, looking away, missing the endearing glance he tosses your way. you both ditch the stuffy building, and headed to a late night pizza shop down the corner. you sigh in relief once you step into the restaurant, inhaling the smell of cheese and dough. you both decide to seat yourselves in a booth in the corner of the dining area. once you both place your orders, you settle into a comfortable silence.
“so, what caused you to conjure up this boyfriend lie?” jungkook asked after awhile.
“my mom thinks that i need to be in a relationship to be happy since i’m getting ready to enter the real world,” you sigh, rolling your eyes and leaning into your elbows that rested on the table.
“thats stupid,” jungkook scoffs, leaning into the booth. you were caught off guard by this, expecting jungkook to somewhat agree with your mother.
“you look surprised,” he says, gauging your reaction.
“i kind of am. not gonna lie, i was expecting you to agree with her,” you say, shrugging. the waiter brings your slices and leaves you two alone, settling back into the conversation.
“no way. if you want to be single, you should. i’m sure you’re single by choice anyways,” jungkook says, picking up his pizza and taking a huge bite of it.
“what do you mean?” you ask him, slightly confused behind the intentions of his sentence.
“i just mean that you’re insanely smart, funny and talented. and you’re extremely beautiful. if you wanted any guy, you could have him,” jungkook shrugs, munching on his pizza in peace. meanwhile, his statement sent you into a frenzy. who knew jeon jungkook thought so highly of you. you were under the impression that he dispised your entire being. he never really complimented you before, so his statement shocked you.
“never knew you thought so highly of me,” you said, smiling to yourself. you can’t really explain it and you don’t know why, but knowing how jungkook truly felt about you made you extremely happy.
“there’s a lot you don’t now about me,” he winks, causing you to roll your eyes and eat your pizza. and yet again, you missed the way jungkook smiled at you, enjoying your presence more than he would care to admit to.
=
“i don’t feel like i’m ready for this yet,” you murmur, feeling your hands start to shake as you stood outside the venue.
“you’re going to have to be, because we’re out of time,” jungkook smiles, taking hold of your hand and waltzing you two into the building. your mom had asked you to come early for a surprise so you decided to give her a surprise of your own.
“jungkook, maybe we should say you caught food poisoning and we had to leave,” you murmured as jungkook continued to drag you further and further into the building. jungkook smiled at your child-like nature and shook his head.
“we’ve come too far to give up now. let’s just rock this and get home,” he says, smiling at you. you felt a sudden urge of confidence that surges through you and gives you enough momentum to swing open the doors of the chapel hall. you were taken aback by the way the chairs are decorated with white pieces, hanging off the backs. you take notice of the pale yellow and white combo that you didn’t think would match so well. you felt happy for your mom and that she met someone who loved her so much that they were willing to do this for her to cherish the day.
“it’s beautiful,” you gape, admiring all the minute details your mother probably agonized over. jungkook admired the astonished look on your face as you practically ignored his presence to take in your surroundings. he always found you beautiful, but watching you be you while nobody was looking was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. jungkook had the biggest crush on you for as long as he could remember. and he refused to even fathom the thought of confessing to you when he knew how you felt. he knew you couldn’t stand his lifestyle, his choices that he’s made regrettably. but how else was he supposed to cope with the fact with the one person he’s allowed to steal his heart hates him.
“ah, there you are,” a voice says from behind you two. you both turn around and you see your mom, hair curlers and full glam.
“hi mama,” you smile, running up to her and giving her a big hug.
“hi sweet pea,” your mama coos, swaying you both back and forth. you pull back and look behind you to see jeon smiling at the interaction. this made your heart jump for a split second before you returned back to your surroundings.
“ma, this is my boyfriend, jeon jungkook,” you smile.
“oh my, you’re so handsome,” your mother gushes, rushing up to him and pulling him into a hug.
“thank you,” jungkook smiles, blushing slightly. you’ve never seen jeon blush before and to see him in a such a fragile state made you happy. and you couldn’t seem to figure out why. your mom finally released jeon from her clutches and she turned back to you.
“hun, i’ve got a surprise for you. follow me,” she says, grabbing yours and jeon’s hands dragging you to what you assumed was the dressing room. there were two dresses that were covered hanging off of a clothing rack. your mom shoves you guys onto a couch and rushes over to the dresses.
“one of these beauties will be yours to wear for the wedding because… hon, will you be my maid of honor?” your mother asks, eyes full of stars that made your heart swell. you felt the air leave your lungs and your heart begin to race. you remember watching your mom struggle with love all her life, her face in a frown always. you’ve never seen your mom so happy now, and you would do anything just to see her happy.
“ma, are you serious?” you ask, wanting to be sure this is what she really wanted.
“of course baby,” she smiles. you jump up and hug her tightly, muttering a yes into her hair. you both squeal with delight, jumping in place like teenage girls. suddenly, another pair of arms are wrapped around you, chest pressed against your back. you managed to look up and see jungkook bouncing with you and your mom.
“i wanted to join too,” jungkook says, his voice high pitched and filled with excitement which in response, made you giggle. you all finally stop bouncing and jungkook pulls you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you, catching you off guard. you felt your heart race and you swore his heartbeat matched yours. you brushed it off as it being the sudden activity you all had just endured.
“i’ll leave you two alone so you can try the dresses,” your mother says after she catches her breath, winking at you.
“you’re just gonna let your daughter get undressed in front of her boyfriend alone?” you ask incredulously.
“hon, he’s your boyfriend. i’m sure he’s seen more,” she giggles, exiting the room, leaving you with your jaw wide open.
“can you believe this?” you ask, shocked at your mothers bold statement.
“i’ve always wondered where you get your vulgarity from,” jungkook teases, his chest causing a vibration that you felt in your back, reminding you of your close, read as nonexistent, proximity. you push yourself away and whip around to face him, catching a glimpse of him trying to fight the smile that tried its best to take place on his delicate features.
“i’m not vulgar and you’re not watching me change. however, i do need an opinion on the dresses, so i guess you can stay,” you say, walking past him to try on the dresses. you snatch both of them of the rack and head into the bathroom, changing into dress number one.
at first you thought it was a joke, the frills and exotic colors making your eyes hurt from how loud it was. you tried it on anyway, and you couldn’t believe how ridiculous you looked. no way your mother was being serious when she picked this dress out. you unlocked the bathroom door and stopped your way to where jungkook was sitting on the couch, playing on his phone. you clear your throat to capture his attention and you nearly explode with the laughter with the way his eyes widen and face drops.
“what do you think?” you ask him, twirling around in the godforsaken dress you know your mother probably bought as a joke.
“i think the longer you look at it, the worse it gets,” jungkook says, a dumbfounded look on his face. you withhold your laughter and stare at him in distaste.
“yeah like your face,” you scoff, playing with the dress as if you actually admired it.
“are you gonna wear that?” he asks, secretly hoping you’d say no so he could release a breathe he didn’t know he was holding.
“well, i like it, don’t you?” you say, continuing to pretend like you actually were considering wearing this deafening dress.
“uh.. if you like it then… sure,” jungkook says, shifting in his seat. you admired the fact that he was trying to cater to your feelings and for some reason it made your heart race at the thought. you don’t know whats been going on with you lately but every kind gesture has made your heart race with excitement. you didn’t know when it happened, but you started looking at jungkook as more and it scared you. you couldn’t be with him. you knew that. jungkook had a reputation, and he was proud of it. he was proud of the amount of women he could pull in one night. hell, in one hour. he was used to the idea that feelings were a concept he wasn’t willing to understand or try out. and you had to accept that.
“i’m messing with you gukkie. my mom probably bought this as a gag, the real dress is still in its cover,” you say laughing at jungkooks face that was contorted into one of discomfort. you leave him to relish in your teasing as you retreat back to the bathroom to change into the actual dress. you could still hear jungkook laugh to himself as you unzipped the dress to change into the other one. little did you know, he was laughing to himself about the nickname you gave him. he’s never had a nickname he actually enjoyed before. he was still lost in the thought of you calling him gukkie forever when you finally exited the bathroom.
he always thought those scenes in cheesy rom-com teen films where the guy is staring at the girl like she’s the only one that matters was cliche. but he was wrong. so very wrong. watching you in the tight floor length pale yellow dress that just made you glow knocked all the air out of his lungs. you’re hair that was in a messy ponytail allowed some pieces of hair to frame your face as you continued to fumble with the dress.
“it’s a little longer than i thought, but it fits well, yeah?” you say, still looking down at the gown. you honestly felt ridiculous. you rarely dress up like this. you hid your body underneath baggy clothing so to have something so tightly pressed against your body made you severely insecure. the silence coming from jungkook made everything worse. you looked up to see jungkook leaning forward, elbows resting on his thighs, hands holding his head up. there was a look in his eye you had never seen before and it made your stomach churn with excitement.
“that bad huh?” you joke, hoping to ease some of the tension that was building in the room. jungkook stands to his feet and approaches you, his body so close to yours you could feel the heat radiating off of his body.
“you look beautiful,” jungkook says, smiling down at you. you feel yourself blush and begin to fumble with your fingers, a nervous tic jungkook found absolutely adorable. jungkook was helplessly in love with you, this much he knew. from the way you laughed, to the way you rolled your eyes in his presence. he loved the way you gave yourself wholly to the ones you cared about, willing and able to do any and everything for the people you love. he loved the way you strived to work hard and how incredibly intelligent you were. and suddenly, his heart was full with all the love he was dying to give you, but know he never could. because you deserved much more than some player who was willing to sleep with anything with legs. but if he could at least pretend like the love between you two was real, even if for a short while, he’ll take it. as desperate as he was, he wanted to know what it felt like to have you love him back. even if he knew it was all pretend.
“jungkook, i can’t thank you enough for doing this. i know you would rather be in some girls bed trying to figure out a way to sneak out without her noticing, but i’m glad you’re here… with me,” you smile, hands gripping his bicep’s to keep him close. his cologne was hypnotizing, causing you to pull him closer and closer.
“there’s no place i would rather be,” jungkook said honestly, placing his hands onto your waist, allowing you to lean in.
“you don’t mean that,” you scoff, smiling and rolling your eyes, getting ready to pull yourself back from a dangerous territory. jungkook stops this from happening, wrapping his arm around you til your pressed flush against his body.
“you have no idea how bad i want you. all of you. mind, body and soul. but for right now, for the sake of our friendship and the momentum its growing, i will take you in whatever way you will allow me to have,” jungkooks says, forehead pressed against yours as he wills himself to hold back from pressing his lips against yours and taking you on the small couch in the dressing room. the words jungkook spoke so honestly made you shake from it’s intensity.
“jungkook i--”
“how’d the dress fit?” you mother asks, barging into the room. you and jungkook scramble apart from one another, him taking seat on the couch and you standing in front of him. you mother misses the way you two seemed highly unfocused and nervous as she coos over how adorable you look in the right dress.
“you need to finish getting your hair and makeup done, so scooch along so me and your beautiful boyfriend can get to know each other,” your mother says shoving you out of the room and directing you to where the other bridesmaids were getting their hair and makeup done. it wasn’t until you were sat in the chair that you realized.. your mother and jungkook were alone. oh boy.
=
you never felt so girly in your life. your hair was curled and put up in a half up half down situation, your makeup light and barely noticeable, but enough to tell you were wearing it. this wasn’t you, you didn’t like wearing makeup mainly because at the end of the day you forget to take it off and causes acne. you were working part time and went to school full time so you always left your hair in a ponytail or a bun. this look was new for you and you were kind of excited yet nervous for jungkook’s reaction.
you surprised yourself with the thought, not really caring about jungkook’s opinions before, but now it was all you could think of, and that scared you. you knew this was just a favor he was owing to you, but he was really going above and beyond and it warmed your heart. but you had to remind yourself that you were just friends, nothing more. hell, you were barely friends. had it not been for you incessant need to prove yourself to your mom, you two would’ve never even became cordial with one another.
you brush these thoughts aside, trying to manifest positive vibes for such a joyous occasion. you leave the dressing room, filled with chatter, in search of jungkook who may be suffering your mother’s constant conversation. you return back to the room you first were in when you arrived, catching your mother exiting the room.
“you didn’t scare him off, did you?” you tease, hugging your mom.
“honey, you look beautiful!,” your mom gushes, taking in the sight of her daughter. you smile and thank her, happy that she was happy.
“is he still in there?” you ask, nodding towards the door she came out of. she giggled and placed her hands on your shoulder.
“he is, and he is absolutely in love with you,” she smiles, causing you to furrow your eyebrows.
“what do you mean?” you ask, your heart starting to race.
“the way he talks about you, the way his eyes gleam with love with the mere thought of you. hunny, this man is undoubtedly in love with you,” she smiles. you couldn’t believe what you were hearing, there was no way that jeon jungkook, the university playboy, is in love with you. you two barely conversed without an argument taking place. you doubt he knew anything about you, despite you two running in the same circles. sure, you knew a lot about him, just because your friends talked about him a lot and it was hard not to listen to sometimes.
“you’re crazy ma. you need to finish getting ready, the weddings going to start soon,” you laugh, trying to brush off the conversation.
“jungkook is in there getting ready, one of robert’s groomsmen caught food poisoning so he’s gonna walk down the aisle with your cousin, sam,” she said, rushing off to get ready, leaving you no room to reply. this wasn’t what he signed up for and you felt bad, so you went into the room to check on him. you caught him standing in front of the vanity, trying to finish off his tie. you had seen jungkook dressed up before, but there was something different about this time. you felt something more for him, and honestly, you always have. but his reputation…
“looking sharp,” you smile, looking up at him. his eyes meet yours in the mirror and he smiles, and this time you see it. the love your mother was talking about.
“you look beautiful, as usual,” he says, his charm peeking through. you scoff at his comment, walking up to him. you seemed small compared to him, and it was kind of an odd sight for you. you leaned your head against his shoulder, just staring at him staring at you through the mirror.
“something on your mind?” he asks, noticing how lost in thought you were. you focus in on him and the surroundings around you.
“my ma said something interesting earlier that’s got me thinking is all,” you say, hoping he wouldn’t press the issue much further. you didn’t want to make the air awkward or uncomfortable by trying to involve feelings, but a big part of you want to know how he feels from his own lips.
“what did she say?” he asked, his nerves jumping. he didn’t say anything wrong did he? he tried to be as cordial and respectful as possible, wanting your mother to like him. if things were to happen in the future, he didn’t want to be on bad terms with your mother.
“she said… she said that you love me?” you murmur, you heart caught in your throat now that the truth was out there and you can’t take it back. jungkook froze, caught off guard by your confession. he wanted to play it off like it wasn’t true, that your mother was delusional. but he knew the truth. and he knew that you also knew it too. he wanted you. he’s always wanted you. and now, he’s presented with the opportunity to have you in any way he wants and he can’t make the move to move forward.
“is it true?” you ask, trying to get a clear and concise answer. you’re not sure what’s going to happen, regardless of what his answer is, but the anxiety of not knowing is starting to kill you. you shouldn’t be forcing him to confess, but now that it was out there in the air, you couldn’t take it back. maybe you should tell him?
“if you’re not comfortable talking about it it’s o--”
“i love you,” he blurts, interrupting you. you pick your head up off of his shoulder and now you’re standing side by side, staring at him through the vanity mirror. you’re frozen, unsure of what to do now. you didn’t actually think he was going to say it. you thought your mother was pulling your leg. but she didn’t know that you two weren’t actually a couple and maybe that’s why you had hoped what she said was true.
“did you hear me?” he asks, voice laced with nerves. he couldn’t even begin to explain the amount of fear and vulnerability he was feeling at the moment. he meant it. he loved you. but why should you believe him. he was a playboy, and though you may never understand his reasons as to why he tried so hard to escape you by sleeping with other people, he wanted nothing more for you to believe him now.
“i did,” you whisper, afraid that the sound of your beating heart was louder than the words you spoke. you wanted him, god you wanted him, but you were scared that his words were from false bravado. a heat of the moment feeling that was fleeting.
“i know you might not believe me, and you have every right not to. but i love you with my entire being and.. it’s scary,” he chuckles, trying to explain his emotions to the only person he’s ever been vulnerable with.
“and like i told you earlier, for the sake of us finally gaining friendship, i will play it to your pace and whenever you’re ready, let me know. because i’ll be here,” he smiles. he turns to you, leaning down and placing a gentle kiss to your cheek before walking out of the room, leaving you confused as to what the hell just happened.
_______
an: part two? let me know :)
#jeonjungkook#jeonjeongguk#jungkook scenarios#jeongguk#jungkook#bts scenarios#enemies to lovers#friends to lovers#slow burn#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#bts scenario#kpop scenarios#bangtan boys scenarios#kpop
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olive | chapter one
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pairing: actor!Tom Holland x actor!reader
words: 3.5k ish
warnings: swearing, mentions of sex and smut (in between the ***)
a/n: special thanks for @stuckonspidey for helping me not only start a kinda guideline for this story, but go over the beginning of this chapter, go check out Lilly’s works!
I also am taking name suggestions for one of the characters (little miss diva celebrity personal) as im horrid at coming up with names and also want to involve you! (That’s why she don’t have a name in this yet lol) so send me an ask with your suggestions!
series masterlist
You couldn’t believe it. How could it even be comprehended of what was going on when it felt like a dream?
bro, you’re living every Instagram jealous fangirl’s dream right now…
Man, you couldn’t even imagine the backlash you’d be getting after this once everyone knew.
Let’s hope they never find out.
Maybe this whole ordeal should be explained...
You had been at an after-party for the first big movie you did, well it was a featuring role, that the character literally had a sex scene with Sebastian Stan- yeah you know what you’re thinking, he’s a literal Greek god heaven-sent being- we all know.
Anyways me being me found him way too unattainable- God all those marvel actors and actresses were-, especially after the mishap of seeing his butt naked self before the scene, and him telling you it was fine because you were like his “little sister”. Either way, he was a no go, and you kinda wanted to find someone to take home. you hadn’t been laid in a while, and after seeing Sebastian naked you kinda needed relief.
you were looking for someone more in your league scanning the room, until Seb decided to bombard you at the bar, with probably another one of his actor friends he wanted to introduce you to.
Yeah, heh… I know how this sounds, but you two actually became pretty close on set, as the lead to his opposite, was a total snob, and Seb couldn’t stand her so you’d do a spot-on impression of her while roasting her, and Seb and you got along pretty well because of that. You’re probably questioning: why Seb? Of all people why would a famous person like him get along with a weirdo like me?
Boy, do I look like I know?
in all your years it would still probably be a mystery till you died.
Throughout the night Seb had been introducing you to all his friends and helping you “network” even though they all knew you sucked. That still didn’t stop you from having a small heart attack every time it was an actor you admire.
This time maybe was a little different because you had downed some drinks, and was a little more… bodacious? That’s probably the worst description you could come up with but it is what it is... anyways it was the only way you could get through the night without completely dying of being in front of literal heaven-sent beings.
“Hey Y/n! you’d like you to meet one of my pals!” Sebastian yelled over the music, cutting through people to get to me.
you were sitting at the bar just getting another martini with olives. Before taking a sip you saw him. Holy guacamole! He was definitely out of your league, but alas, he was trailing Sebastian, coming over to you, with you almost doing a spit take. you knew who he was, but man, was he ever hotter in person! pictures did not do his beauty justice.
“Hey, Sebby, who’s the next victim you’re introducing to moi?” you ask, stirring your drink with the olives.
Seb shook his head at you, with a smirk on his face
“This is Tom, and Tom this is the infamous Y/n.” you definitely rolled your eyes at that one.
“It’s a Pleasure.” He says all gentleman-like.
Just as Sebastian is about to speak, none other than the stuck up lead of the movie calls over to him.
“Sebastian, they're taking group photos of the main character’s with Drake Doremus, our director.”
You could tell Sebastian refrained from rolling his eyes at the way she was smirking at you.
“Sorry Tom! Y/n and I have to go-”
“Uh, Sebastian, they want the main cast. No extras.” she snarkily snaps.
“She’s not an extra she’s a featuring role and y/n-”
“I’m fine here entertaining Tom. Besides I’m all photoed out.” you cut him off quickly trying to deescalate the situation before Seb snapped on her causing a scene for all the hungry photographers to eat up.
“See? She doesn’t want to get in the way of our spotlight. I’ll meet you over there.” she blows a kiss at Sebastian and walks over to our director.
“Are you sure about this y/n? Because you know Drake would be fine with it, and she has no say over it anyways and-”
“I’m fine, and anyways, it would be rude to leave your friend here when you just introduced us.” you comforted giving the most genuine smile you can.
He dramatically sighs, raising his arms in surrender, “Well if she ends up in the pool, it’s not my fault.”
You laugh and wave him off before turning your attention to the arachnid superhero sitting beside you now at the bar. You sit in silence for a bit, admiring his freckles and eyes before speaking up.
“I’m sorry about all of that she can sometimes be such a-”
“-Bitch?”
“I was going to say Diva but that works too” you giggle as he starts to laugh with you.
“So Mister Spider-man, what made you come over here to be introduced to me?”
“I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t know anything about you till today, and seeing you act in this movie, I really am a fan of yours. Your acting ability in just this one movie blew me away!” He says intently, gazing into my eyes.
“You’re just saying that because I have a sex scene in the movie. It’s also probably just because of Sebastian’s acting. Or maybe you were turned on. ” you joke winking at him as you turn towards the bar, almost finishing your drink for the second time
He laughs, with a sly smirk on his face, “maybe.”
Before you can respond Sebastian interrupts.
“Hey, sorry I took so long, Miss Diva needed her ‘best angles’”
You internally groan. You just got cock blocked by the one you wanted before this whole ordeal.
“Well, I think I’m going to head out. We’re still on for breakfast tomorrow right?” Tom says, getting up abruptly.
“Yeah, Unless Y/n wants to bail on breakfast then we're still on, Then golf which Y/n will definitely bail on.” Sebastian jokes.
You were almost speechless, Seb said you’d meet some of his closest friends at the big brunch tomorrow. At least you’d be seeing him tomorrow. Maybe Sebastian set this all up? Either way, you weren’t turning down the opportunity.
“Well, uh I better get back to my hotel as well. We need to get up bright and early, and you know I need my sleep.” you mention, before downing the rest of your drink- very unladylike- and popping the olives into your mouth cringing a bit while eating them.
You hated olives, but it felt like such a waste to not eat them. You may have been in ‘high society’ but you still knew how rude it would have been, at least in your head it was.
“Party poopers. I’m gonna go say my goodbyes. Don’t wait for me.” Sebastian turns away going towards a group of his friends.
“I have a car coming, I can drop you off?”
“Oh, uh- are you sure? I don’t want to be a burde-”
“You’re not at all! Great company so far if you ask me,” he comments so… gentleman like.
You fight the urge to roll your eyes, and Once you got up and going, with Tom trailing behind you, you had to dodge a couple of waiters, apologizing every time, before really bumping into a waiter, who accidentally pushes Miss Diva, who wobbles before falling into the pool.
You stand there in shock almost watching as she, in slow motion falls into the pool, screaming on the way down.
As soon as she emerges, she looks dead eyes at you, with looks that could literally, and probably would kill you.
Everyone falls silent before Sebastian, from across the pool breaks out into a fit of laughter and yells for you to “run”. Everyone who worked in the film and even the waiter starts to laugh along. Drake, your director takes out his phone before snapping a few photos.
“AH! I‘m gonna kill you Y/n!” she screams at you before trying to swim to the ladder of the pool.
“Here,” Tom says before handing a hefty tip to the waiter before grabbing your hand and pulling you to the exit, “C’mon Y/n!”
The only thing that ran through your mind was “Holy shit. I’m dead now.”
Tom kept dragging you, to the entrance, through the paparazzi, and into the car, which mind you, the car was really nice, almost tumbling onto him.
“I’m a dead man now” you chanted a couple of times, before Tom started laughing really obnoxiously.
“Dude! You think me being six feet under is funny?!” ,You try not to giggle along to the now almost intoxicating sound, before hearing a pinging of his phone.
“Y/n, you’ll be trending for being Hollywood's hero!” He says before checking his device, “Trust me when I say she has no fanbase, at least won’t after this video Sebastian just sent me.”
“What?” you say stunned, before Tom shows you the video.
“That Fucking Bitch Y/n! You All saw that?! Y/n pushed me in purposely! She’s only out to get me, the talent of the movie! Talentless little bit-”
Sebastain cuts in the video “Yeah we’ve all heard it, you think you’re so much better than Y/n, Blah, Blah, Blah! You’ve treated her like shit from day one, and all she’s ever been was kind to you! I think karma is finally getting to you!”
Then your director steps in, “Well, I have news, we’re doing another movie, but in this time, Y/n has been bumped to lead role! I’m not so sure where your contract lies anymore though... Maybe it's just floating around in the water like your louboutins!”
Everyone cheers in applause in the video, chanting your name before it ends.
“What?! No, no, no! I don't deserve this because of a faulty point! She doesn't deserve this either! I know she's mean but to steal away from her talent and for someone to post that video?! She doesn't deserve that!”
You started to freak out. Not only would she murder you if she had the chance, but no one deserved, not even she deserved the worst of what was going to come from the backlash from that video.
“Please tell me no one posted it!” you ask frantically.
“No, not yet, I’ll tell Seb not to, but I don’t think he can stop all the people who videotaped it.” He almost cringes, looking guilty.
“It’s fine I’ll just tweet something in the morning.” you sigh covering your face before telling tom where your hotel was.
It was almost upsetting, you felt like a second choice because of a bad apple in the batch, and you were the next.
“Hey Y/n? I know we don’t know each other well, but even though she might be booted down, or even off the next movie, your talent is real, and it doesn't take away from what you can do. From what I got from you already is that you're beautiful inside and out, as cheesy as it sounds.”
What the fuck. He was a fucking sweetheart. Let’s hope the fucking part litterally.
“Thanks Tom.”
You sit in an almost comfortable silence, all the way till you get to your hotel.
Once stepping out, Tom speaks up “Goodnight Y/n.”
“Dream of me Tom.” you wink before heading up to think of the game plan for tomorrow.
Once you got into bed, you couldn’t help but think of him.
Why did he have to be so nice? Like god, did sweet guys ever make you horny.
Oh shit. Tom Freaking Holland made you this way.
Lets just say, you really did dream of him, probably because you thought of him while- well you know before falling asleep.
***
“Tommy!” you moaned loudly, as he went down on you, licking stripes from the base of your pussy to your clit.
He moaned onto your sensitive clit, sending vibrations all the way up your body, and especially to your core.
You could feel yourself getting close. His iron (man™️) grip on your thighs had you wishing it would never end and then-
***
Your obnoxious ringtone you had for Sebastian went off abruptly waking you up. You had set it to a fucked up sounding avengers theme song.
“What the Fu-”
“Y/n uh, apparently there's a shit ton of paparazzi at your hotel right now… do you still want to go to the brunch?
You pause, “What? The Fuck?” you continue to look outside your window and sure enough, there's a hoard of them outside.
Greaaaaaat…
You really weren't sure about going, until you got a call from an unknown number.
“Uh I’m getting another call gimme a sec-” you end the call with seb before answering the mystery person.
“Hey Y/n it’s me, Tom, Im uh almost in the back alley of your hotel waiting for you, I mean, only if you want to come, you were on my way anyways so i thought-”
“Hey Tom,uh yeah- okay, I’ll be down in twenty?” You say rushing around trying to find your suitcase.
“Okay, I’ll uh, tell Seb we’re coming soon”
Tom hangs up after you say goodbye, and couldn't help the grin that reached his face being almost smacked back into reality by his brother, Harry and best friend, Harrison, goofing off.
“You div! You almost ruined my hair!” Harrison whines, as Harry rolls his eyes.
You, on the other hand, were rushing around taking a Guinness world record shower, before drying your hair, putting on minimal face shit, because thanks to Tom you didn't have time, and putting on an outfit that made you feel super cute and ready for golfing, well, watching it.
You weren’t much of a sport player, minus the competitive side that came out as soon as anyone challenged you. Then suddenly, you were an allstar (by smash mouth p.s fuck smash mouth) at whatever came your way.
Lets just hope you had this in the bag if someone challenged you.
Your phone buzzed and you jumped, before quickly answering the texts you had gotten.
‘Are you coming?’
‘Yes seb im coming soon ;)’
‘Hey y/n it’s tom were here when your ready :)’
‘Wrong “you’re” but im coming lol ;)’
As you made your way down, Tom kept fiddling in his seat, trying to relax yet impress you. He just had to get over her, and you were the perfect solution for that. He didn't want to use you or anything, just have some casual fun that will help him move on.
As soon as you come into sight, of course looking both ways of the alley because who knows who's lurking, or going to hit you like Regina George, Tom couldn't help but almost drool in admiring you. You had your gorgeous legs on display, almost gleaming in the sunlight starting to peek through the alley, and your hair, looking almost effortless in your hairstyle, that took you like, five minutes to do.
As soon as you got into the car, Tom was snapped out of his daze, quickly trying to catch himself before being caught.
“Hey Y/n! You remember Harry? And this is Harrison. Harrison, Y/n-”
“Y/n I’m a really big fan! Maybe not as big as Tom’s di-”
“Mate! Shut up!” Harry jabs Harrison in the side. You couldn't help but laugh at the interaction.
“Y/n i’m sorry about these divs.” he glares at them red in the face which makes you laugh even harder.
“It’s fine, I’m used to it from my catty family.”
“Oi! We’re not catty!” Harry says before Harrison gives him a wet willy in the ear.
“Haz!-”
And that's when you started to block out their fighting to focus on Tom.
“So uh, how many people will be at this? Sebastian totally didn't tell me for legal purposes of marvel-people-are-coming-so-don’t-tell-y/n-or-else-she’ll-freak-out.” You joke before earning a snort from Tom.
“Uh well, if you really want to know, the people I know are coming are Anthony Mackie, Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson- you should close your mouth love, don't want any flies in there.”
You couldn't help but have your jaw slacked, and mouth hanging open. These were people you only had ever dreamed of meeting. You had to focus on what you wanted though. Tom was the priority, but damn were you going to freak out on the inside.
“That’s not the only thing you’re worried about going into my mouth? Right?” You joke, definitely meaning a sexual innuendo, but with a cover-up.
Now Tom’s the one with the open mouth.
“Damn bro!”
“Oh my God!”
A chorus of reactions come through from Harrison and Harry, only leading you to say,
“Well? Don’t you have a frog in yours?”
He tries to brush it off with laughter, though you could see his red face. He only hoped he didn’t have an even more noticeable way of telling he was turned on by that.
As the driver stopped, you realized you were at the restaurant, and man, was it ever a fancy and probably extorting you of all your life savings one too.
Tom almost rushed out of that vehicle, getting hotter than he should have been with the air conditioner blasting, if you were to ask, he’d blame it on the weather (we all know it’s not the weather).
You got out next, covering your face with your hand to block out some of the sun, and crossed your arm over to hold it steady, which may or may not have slightly squished your boobs together, making Tom’s mouth salivate. Man, was he ever screwed today, maybe literally as well.
As soon as he hurried into the restaurant, with you following closely behind, dogging more paparazzi, Tom goes to the front and asks where “Mr. Stan's table” is directed at the hostess. As soon as she saw Tom she looked behind to see you, which she definitely recognized the both of you, and that was pretty surprising, as you've never been recognized, other than hanging out with Sebastian, due to the movie.
“Right this way sir.” the hostess says professionally, leading you to your demise.
You were holding your breath. There were so many of them, all at once that you admired, it was going to be a difficult task. You could barely handle meeting sebastian stan, but all of your favorite celebs at once?
oof
Once you got to the table hidden away in the corner, everyone said a chorus of greetings to Tom and friends and you.
You swallowed hard, only mustering out a small wave, before Tom pulled out a chair for you, (his momma taught him to be a gentleman) and you slid in whispering a small thank you.
Tom sat beside you to your left, with Harrison and Harry on your right. Sebastian was sitting right across from you, alongside Anthony Mackie, Scarlett Johansson, Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner, Chris Hemsworth, and Elizabeth Olsen surrounding the rest of the table.
“Hey everyone, so this is infamous Y/n, as you've probably seen the film or, the viral video, either way, this is her.”
“Hey! Y/n Seb here has told us so many stories about you, it’s like we already know you! You're a fan right? So who’s your favorite?”
You try to get words out but they don't seem to come. Tom notices and barges into the conversation, “It’s obviously spider-man, ‘cause i'm so her type.” Tom mentions, in a cocky yet sarcastic tone, which started a spark for you to say something.
“And apparently I'm sitting beside a div? If that's the right word you use for a blubbering idiot.” you retort, re-using the words of his own. That got you a bunch of responses of “burns” “ohs!” and laughter.
It was almost as if the tips of Tom's ears were red in embarrassment with him still laughing along. You couldn't help but laugh as well at the sight.
During the rest of the course of breakfast, you had actually been vocal and had become quite fond of the people you now could say you knew, in one brunch. You especially loved the banter between Anthony, Seb and Tom, whereas you talked mostly to Scarlett and Lizzie, as she told you to call her, and Jeremy about projects they had done, and were looking for in their next ones.
Soon you had all had finished breakfast and had gotten the checks, with your eyes almost bulging out of your head at the price.
Tom whispered into your ear, “I’ll pay, don't want your kidneys sold for this meal. Besides, I have to beat Seb in some way today.” he winks at you.
Your face feels slightly warm.
Why did he have to be so nice?
“Well we should go to the course now everyone, I know Y/n’s out of playing so she can go to the pool, cause she apparently sucks at golf even though she's never tried it.” Sebastian taunts you.
“Oh screw you Seb, I can totally do it, maybe, probably not but i'll try-”
“It’s nice to see some A list actors eat here too.”
oh shit. It was her.
#tom holland smut#tom holland x reader#tom holland imagine#tom holland fanfiction#tom holland fic#tom holland x y/n#tom holland#arvin russell#peter parker#spiderman#spider-man#arvin russell smut#arvin russell fic#peter parker x y/n#peter parker fic#peter parker x reader#peter parker fanfiction#peter parker imagine#olive
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Paint My Spirit Gold
Dukeceit Week Day 2: Green/Yellow
Fans of the YouTubers "Deceit" and Remus "The Duke" Sanders start to suspect that maybe, just maybe, the two of them are more than simple internet pals.
AO3 Link: [here]
Word Count: 2187
Warnings: n/a
@dukeceitweek <3
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[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a watercolor-style painting of a snake. The snake appears to be made of melting chocolate, and there is a large bite taken out of its tail. Cherries and jam are leaking out of the snake at the bite wound. The snake's expression of horror is overly-exaggerated to the point of comedy. The caption reads: "liked your snake boi, @SerpenThyme. thanks for the inspo." /end ID]
-
A notification ding cut Janus off mid-sentence.
“Wow, someone left their cell phone on, so professional,” he said, giving the camera a dramatic eye roll. That someone was him, of course, because he was the only one in the apartment- just him and the running livestream- but that was no excuse not to be a drama queen about it. He finished wiping flour off his hands and grabbed his phone to silence it; but the notification made him pause. He flicked his eyes up toward the camera and gave a slight smirk.
“My goodness, I’m famous,” he drawled. “The Duke himself has graced little old me with some fan art.”
Most of the comments in the chat wanted him to show it, so Janus opened up Twitter to see the full post he’d been tagged in. It was a watercolor painting of the coiled-snake chocolate sculpture- lovingly named Jake by his viewers- he’d made for his YouTube video last week; it was wearing an expression of such comedic horror that Janus had to stifle a laugh. He flicked his phone screen toward the close-up camera on his counter so his viewers could see.
“How kind of you, Remus,” he said. “All of you should go scold him for what he’s done to poor Jake here.”
Most of his viewers would know he was joking- after all, they were the ones to nickname him Deceit when he provided neither a real or fake name for his online persona. They knew full well what he was like by now.
The oven timer dinged. Janus silenced his phone and set it aside.
“And our first batch of cookies is done. You know, why don’t we show the Duke some appreciation?”
-
[ID: An Instagram post by user @SerpenThyme. The photo is an artistically-framed shot of a stack of sugar cookies with green, yellow, and pink icing. Propped up against the stack is another cookie, with an intricate icing-drawing of an octopus. The photo appears to have been color corrected to have high contrast, low saturation, and a dark vignette at the edges. The Instagram user @OctoDukie is tagged. No caption. /end ID]
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“You know, I have often been accused of actually being a little old lady, what with my fondness for knitted jumpers, rocking chairs, and incredibly fucked up murder mystery books. Today I am doing nothing to dispel this accusation, by making soup.”
The studio was dark and empty aside from Remus' workspace. Everyone else had left long ago, even his own brother, which meant that it was officially ass-o'clock in the morning (or, as most people called it, somewhere between 1 and 2 a.m.) But Remus was stuck in hyperfocus, honed in on putting the last touches on a commission that he'd been putting off for weeks. It's not that it was a tough painting- once he'd gotten started, it was actually a very creatively satisfying piece- but man, executive dysfunction could go suck a dick
“French onion soup, specifically. Because while I do like to pretend I am a classy bitch, I am also, regrettably, a lazy bitch with a distaste for anything that takes longer than one bottle of wine to make.”
Remus hated working in silence. It was stifling, almost suffocating. His brain needed noise like his lungs needed air. So when the studio had grown still and silent, Remus had flipped open his laptop and queued up some YouTube videos.
“So we have here three pounds of onions that we need to slice up, pole to pole. You’re going to cry no matter what, so if you have any memories you’ve been repressing since middle school, now is an excellent time to dredge those up.”
And if it happened to be 90% SerpenThyme videos, well. Sue him.
“Now the first rule of caramelizing onions: fast and sloppy is always better than slow and thorough… at least, that’s what every man I’ve ever slept with tells me.”
Remus choked and glanced over to his laptop screen just in time to catch Deceit's trademark smirk directed at the audience just for a moment. It was the deadpan delivery that always got him. Remus could barely hold onto a joke long enough to get through it without cackling mid-punchline, but this fucker could say the funniest shit like an off-hand comment.
He wiped his hands off on his jeans (what use were clothes if you couldn't use them as paint rags?) and pulled his laptop across the table. He typed out a quick comment, citing the timestamp of the joke, and after it was posted, he shut his laptop.
'Cause ass-o'clock was short for "get-your-ass-home-or-I’ll-kick-it" o'clock.
-
[ID: A screenshot of a YouTube comments section. The first comment is by user TheDuke, and reads: "10:42 wow, rude." The second comment is a reply by user SerpenThyme, and simply reads ";)" /end ID]
-
Janus plopped down on the couch with a slight groan. He didn’t need to stream today, but he really hated missing days. Besides… he was fine. Really.
He adjusted the camera until he was happy with the framing, and then checked the settings on his streaming software. Satisfied, he started the stream, and watched as his usual viewers rolled in.
“What do you mean I’m not in my kitchen?” Janus drawled, addressing the chat. He glanced around with an expression of faux-shock on his face. “My goodness, when did that happen?”
He chuckled, and then gestured to his surroundings. “Yes, we are in my living room today. If you must know, my closest and most trusted friend tried to murder me today- yes, Virgil, it was attempted murder and nothing less- and I survived with nary a scratch… and a broken foot, but that is beside the point. Anyway, I’m not allowed to stand for long periods of time, and I may or may not be somewhat inebriated by pain pills and couldn’t stand even if I wanted to. So we are cooking from my couch today.”
Janus paused for a few moments to read the chat messages as they popped up. A few get well soon’s, a few theories about the “attempted murder,” Virgil- who moderated his chat for him- vehemently denying the “attempted murder” but otherwise refusing to clarify the event, and a large volume of wtf why are you streaming today, take care of yourself comments, which made him smile. But one particular comment caught his eye, almost lost amid the torrent of an active chat: wait this kinda looks like the Duke’s living room?
“Oh, VampSuga,” he said, addressing that commenter in particular with a slight smirk. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. Anyway, since I can’t reach my oven from here, I thought some no-bake cookies were in order. For these you will need-”
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[ID: A screenshot of a Discord conversation. The text reads:
“VampSuga: Ok ok hear me out. Dukeceit.
Starstruck96: who?
IneffableSnek: lmao
FeralBeauYasha: lol
VampSuga: Deceit and Remus Sanders! They’re totally dating. I will die on this hill.
FeralBeauYasha: Isn’t the duke w/ PatPat?
IneffableSnek: no thats his brothers bf
FeralBeauYasha: ohh
VampSuga: Did anyone see Deceit’s stream today? I swear that’s the Duke’s livingroom.
StarStruck96: idk that seems like a stretch
IneffableSnek: no wait i kno what u mean
IneffableSnek: im watching the duke’s old videos and that one where he shows off all his old weapons he’s in a living room kinda like deceit’s
FeralBeauYasha: They were acting all cute on twitter too
VampSuga: DUKECEIT” /end ID]
-
"Hey guys, been a while since you've seen my face and not just whatever my hands are busy with, when it's within YouTube's terms and conditions I mean. They used to be way more lenient…" Remus trailed off for a moment, then shook his head sharply and plastered on a grin.
"Anyway! In June me and a few other creators did a fundraiser for the Trevor Project, and y'all smashed the goal, so I let you decide what video I'd make this month." He paused, and gestured to the mountain of clothes piled behind him on the bed. "And you had so many juicy ideas to choose from, but you decided to dress me up like a Barbie instead."
Remus paused to scroll through his phone for a few moments. "Ah, ok, here we go. Twitter user YoonIsMyCat- oh, BTS, nice- sent in this first outfit. Uh… future Remus, put up the post here somewhere." He gestured vaguely to his right. "Y'all went with either a fuckton more clothes or a fuckton less clothes, which I respect. Apparently this outfit is called…” He squinted at his phone. “Amish chic? I take it back, no respect at all.”
Remus cycled through the outfits his viewers sent in, which ranged from the aforementioned “Amish chic” to “2008 rave attire” to “ok now you guys are just fucking with me” (which consisted of one of those big puffy snow coats, lime green in color; booty shorts with the shrug text emoji across the ass; fuzzy pink boots; and a yellow cowboy hat to top off the whole thing. It was awful. Remus loved it.) The mountain of clothes on the bed gradually became a mess of clothes spread across the floor instead, until there was just one outfit left.
“Ok so Twitter user VampSuga sent me this outfit that I’m gonna call ‘sexy librarian.’ I couldn’t find this exact sweater online, but-” he paused for dramatic effect, before brandishing a sweater toward the camera like a bullfighter. “My boyfriend had something that was close enough.”
Remus hopped up from the bed and switched off the camera so he could change.
“They’re going to lose their minds,” a voice drawled from the doorway. Remus threw his shirt at him.
“Shoo, I’m getting naked.”
-
[ID: A Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a selfie of YouTuber Remus “The Duke” Sanders, a Hispanic man with his hair dyed green and styled into a spiked mohawk. He is wearing a yellow knitted cardigan over a black button-up shirt. He is grinning widely at the camera. The caption reads: “my viewers pick my outfits! now live on youtube. go see what i look like as a sexy librarian!” /end ID]
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DukeceitStan
first and only dukeceit shipper ig
DukeceitStan
wow there’s so many of you now! Hi!!
DukeceitStan
i want this to be canon so bad omg
DukeceitStan
i mean just look
[image]
how
[image]
cute
[image]
[ID: A series of three gifs featuring Youtubers SerpenThyme, aka Deceit, and TheDuke, aka Remus Sanders. Deceit is a black man with long, dreadlocked hair, and vitiligo patches along the left side of his face. Remus is a Hispanic man with green-dyed hair styled into a mohawk, many ear and facial piercings, and tattoos covering both arms. Each gif is edited so that the highlights are tinged yellow when Deceit is seen, and tinged green when Remus is seen.
The first gif depicts a close-up shot of Deceit’s hands as he carefully decorates a cookie with green and yellow icing. The cookie art he is working on appears to be a half-finished octopus. The gif then fades into a mid-shot of Remus, with his back to the camera, facing a canvas. The canvas is blank, and Remus appears to be laying out paints on a table to his left.
The second gif depicts Deceit seated at his couch, facing the camera. He has many ingredients spread across his coffee table (including oats, cocoa powder, and butter) and appears to be in the process of laying out several more. The gif fades to show Remus seated at a similar couch with a similar coffee table in front of him. The camera is angled slightly downward to better show the myriad of knives spread out across the table. Remus is gesturing wildly with a morning star held in his hand.
The third gif depicts Deceit in his kitchen. He is pulling on a bright, yellow knitted cardigan, and smirking toward the camera. The gif fades to show Remus in his bedroom, seated on his bed. He is holding up a similar-looking cardigan toward the camera and grinning. /end ID]
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“Remus, it’s almost two in the morning. Come to bed.”
“I’m coming, sorry. Twitter distracted me.”
“Mm. I can’t believe the bird app is more distracting than I am.”
“You should try harder.”
“Come to bed and maybe I will.”
“Ok, ok, I’m coming. Hang on though, is it cool if I post this?”
“Sure. They figured it out anyway.”
“Sweet. Ok, Jannie, I’m coming.”
-
[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It reads: “Dukeceit is canon.” /end ID]
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Love For All
Peter Stark-Rogers & Stark-Rogers!reader (twins)
warnings: mentions of drinking/being drunk, pretty fluffy
1.8k+ words
series masterlist
a/n: happy pride month (lol I queued this in february just so I didn’t forget to post it) anyways im bi and pls know my page is a safe space for everyone 💗💜💙
Fluffy piece where Tony and Steve are chosen as the grand marshalls for the pride parade and it becomes a family affair.
“this just in, you all officially have the coolest dads in history!” Tony bellowed as he dramatically entered the common space, Steve right behind him with a plethora of eye rolls.
Right as you were about to protest, Bucky chimed in, “neither of you are my father.”
“with the way I’ve saved your sorry ass? Might as well be.”
“saved my sorry ass? Oh Stevie, have you forgotten who pulled your ass out of every back alley fight you got into? Or have the years 1932 to 1941.”
“I did not start a fight in 1932!” Steve argued back, hands placed firmly on his hips.
“bullshit! 5 years old, playground 2 blocks over, Arthur Williams.”
Steve frowned slightly, “damn I forgot about that.”
Beside you Peter snorted, “you got into a fight when you were 5?”
“Wow darling, you came out of the womb with righteous indignation didn’t you?” Tony added with a small smirk as he moved to rest against the back of the couch.
Steve threw his hands up in defeat, “oh haha laugh it up. Yes I’m old, yes I’m stubborn. Can we please just go back to how we’re cool?”
“Wait before that, back to the ‘not my fathers thing’ does this mean you see yourselves as the team fathers? Because if you’re adopting more people, I want in!” Clint said cheerfully.
“Sorry we capped out at four.”
You stuck your tongue out at Clint with a little ‘ha ha’ because you were mature like that. “anyways… why do you think you are the coolest dads? I wanna get my rebuttal in soon.”
Tony bopped the back of your head playfully as he dropped a very rainbow piece of paper into your lap. Peter instantly leaned into your space to read it. You pushed him back with a shove to the forehead. “relax nerd I’m gonna read it out loud.”
“hurry up I’m getting antsy.” You threw an unimpressed look at Clint who had practically crawled into Bucky’s lap to get closer, not that Bucky minded.
“Chill.” You smoothed out the paper and held it up, “All hail the next Grand Marshals of NYC Pride, Tony Stark and Steve Rogers. We are happy to formally announce the two superheroes and super husbands as our fearless leaders of the float parade this year.”
“That’s the public announcement they put out, turn it over to read the letter they sent us.”
“Dear Mr. Anthony and Steven Stark-Rogers, we are so excited to welcome you into our NYC Pride Parade family. As this year’s appointed Grand Marshals it is both our duty and pleasure to pass the Pride Baton over to you. Included in this letter you will find the rules and expectations of our Grand Marshals, as well as what is permitted for first floats. We would love if you extended this invitation to your entire circle of family and friends to join you in the parade and on your float.”
You put the paper down and tilted your head back to stare at your dad, “you? Grand Marshal? Really?”
“What’s so shocking about that?”
“umm…. You’re old and not cool.”
Bucky sputtered a laugh beside you as Tony bopped you on the head again.
“Was this your way of telling us to come to pride with you?” Peter asked.
Steve shook his head as he flopped into a nearby loveseat, “actually this was our way of telling you that we need your help coming up with ideas for the float and how to decorate it. But of course we want you to join us on the float, we’ll be inviting the rest of the team as well.”
“I’ll help decorate but Bi-derman is making another appearance this year.”
Tony slapped his forehead, “can you take your old suit at least? The paint was a bitch to get off last time.”
Peter rolled his eyes, “the old suit chafes.”
You grimaced, “I hate this conversation.”
“I think you should do a dog themed float, Lucky can be our mascot.”
Bucky sighed, “of course that’s your suggestion.”
“what about the history of pride? Recognizing the Stonewall Riots and the two black transgender females that started it all. Plus then we can also advocate for Black Lives Matter. Make it clear that to support one, you have to support the other. Educate and entertain.”
Tony smiled, “that’s not a bad idea y/n.”
Steve looked at you with hopeful eyes, “are you willing to help organize and coordinate?”
“can I invite friends to help?”
“yes.”
You smiled, “then yes.”
------
“when I said organize and coordinate, I didn’t mean take over the conference room we use regularly for avengers meetings.” Steve said with a deep sigh
“it’s the only one with a vending machine.” MJ helpfully pointed out, taking another large bite of her pizza slice.
“yeah it was the only way to get Clint to sit through meetings without leaving to get food.” Steve explained as he stepped into the room and took in the large array of papers everywhere. The four teenage girls that occupied the room were all busy with one thing or another, looking intense and determined.
MJ snorted, “figures.” Her hand ghosted over the page again, dragging the pencil with it and creating another addition to her sketch.
Steve’s brow furrowed for a moment and he took a step closer to get a better look, “is that me?”
MJ nodded coolly but offered no other explanation. Betty huffed a laugh, “we’re trying to design both you and Mr. Stark crown-like head pieces.”
“crowns?”
You rolled your eyes, “Pops, you really do only hear what you wanna hear. Crown-like head pieces. I know dad would go for a full ass crown but I knew you wouldn’t and we want you two to match.”
Steve studied the photos of celebrities that were projected on the wall. “and that?”
“The 2018 Met Gala. Theme: heavenly bodies. There were a bunch of great head pieces that night, we’re using it for inspiration.” Gwen supplied, “let us know if there’s any you like.”
“I wanna go in a Cardi B direction.” You stated without taking your eyes off your computer screen, you’ve obviously already committed every possible headpiece to memory.
“don’t taint his selection with bias!” Betty cried
MJ waved her off easily, “there’s no way he knows who Cardi B is.”
“thanks for the confidence MJ.” She just smiled cheekily at him.
“I think he should choose something like what Frances McDormand was wearing.” Gwen stated with a small smile
MJ laughed, “as much as I think that would look amazing, there’s no way he’s picking that.”
“who’s this?”
You barely had to glance at the photo to recognize the red and gold dress and of course the iconic headpiece, “Black Lively.”
“Okay well I like that, it’s simple.”
“what about…” Gwen drawled as she typed something and new photo, a larger one, took over the whole wall, “Something like SZA’s?”
Steve took a step back and grimaced slightly, “it’s kinda… big.”
“But if it were smaller?” Gwen pressed politely
“I suppose.” Steve glanced around at the four girls. “You guys have a lot of stuff planned.”
“Oh yeah.” You looked up with a big grin, meeting your dad’s eye. “It’s gonna be great.”
“You’re not designing us costumes too are you?”
“Well Tony specifically said not too and that he already had something planned.” MJ said before eyeing Steve up and down with the critical eye of an artist, “But we could design something if you wanted us too.”
“No, I kinda of already have a plan too.”
You rose a questioning brow, “oh yeah? Please tell me you’re not going to be wearing something boring.”
Steve rolled his eyes at you and obnoxiously bumped his hip into your side as he walked out, “I’m not clueless on how to dress for Pride. Plus, I like dressing up for it, it’s fun. And it’s not something we got to do back then. I’m planning on taking full advantage.” And with that he walked out dramatically and closed the door.
Betty laughed slightly, “ten bucks that he paints the shield.”
Gwen shook his head, “No way. I think he’s gonna wear one of the flags as a cape.”
MJ clicked her tongue, “I know for a fact he’ll be wearing his ‘trans rights are human rights’ shirt.” Pause. “and probably his rainbow pants.”
You looked at MJ with a perplexed expression, “why do you know about my dad’s rainbow pants?”
MJ smirked slightly, “he wore them to pride a few years ago. Plus, me and peter talk about things. You’re not the only Stark-Rogers twin I hang out with.”
Gwen obnoxiously nudged Betty with her elbow and a large wink, “Oh yeah… she talks to Peter.” MJ scowled at the two as you snickered behind your hand.
MJ grumbled slightly, “let’s just get back to work.” It was silent in the room until the three other girls heard MJ mumble, “I never have to deal with this at college.”
You burst into a fit of laughter.
------
Pride was without a doubt a 100% success.
The float looked great. The area had already been swept for trouble. One Grand Marshal was moderately drunk. And Everyone was dancing and partying. Perfect.
Even the float attendees looked great. Clint was the brightest of the all. With no shirt on, glitter all over his chest, a rainbow tutu around his hips, tight purple booty shorts underneath, knee high socks with the pan pride flag on them, plus his signature purple converse… he looked good.
You’ve been snickering every time you catch Bucky not so subtlety looking Clint up and down. But that being said, Clint was doing the same to Bucky because he had someone managed to get the stoic and whiney super soldier into a rainbow button down. Nothing else, as that wasn’t Bucky’s jam. He paired the shirt with simple jeans but you were sure that he would be covered with glitter later.
Peter had been swinging around the parade, his first Stark suit now painted a vibrant pink, purple, and blue. Plus there was a large, messily painted on heart over where the spider sat in the middle of his chest.
You and all your friends had taken up the dance floor on the float, and if you said so yourself, you all were killing the dance moves.
Tony was more than tipsy because Bruce was on babysitting duty tonight for Morgan, so he let himself go and lean heavily against his husband, who just grinned at him all lovingly.
In the end, it was a good day. You threw beads and candy to the crowd, joining them at times for drinks and dance parties. You laughed endlessly with your friends and your family. And yeah… it was a good day.
Plus, all your friends had been correct.
Steve wore his trans shirt in solidarity with the ongoing movements and the float.
He wore his rainbow pants because they were “super fashionable y/n” and to support everyone.
He painted his shield purple, blue, and pink to show off his own sexuality and support Peter.
And he had a pansexual flag tied around his neck to match with Tony’s pink, yellow, and blue shirt.
He looked great.
#marvel#spiderman#reader#peter stark rogers#peter parker#superfamily#reader insert#peter parker & reader#peter parker fanfiction#peter parker imagine#superfamily fanfiction#superfamily imagine#reader fanfiction#reader imagine#marvel fanfiction#marvel imagine#stark!reader#stark-rogers!reader#emma writes
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Perfection Imperfections | Chapter 1
Chapter Index
»»—————————————-
Finally, summer break. It’s been a while since I was able to go home. Having to attend high school rather far from my home in Seoul, I never thought that I’d adjust to the new environment. Fortunately, I wasn’t entirely alone, since I stayed with my aunt for the four years of my high school life. School wasn’t so bad, but the homesickness is what killed it for me. Even though it was my parents' idea to send me a rather vast distance—me not being too excited about it, but I knew I wouldn’t get my way in the end—there was some good that came from it. The two only good things, actually.
I glance outside the train window, the buildings of Busan zooming past me. Sure, it may not be my home, but I won’t lie. I’m really going to miss this place. My phone suddenly vibrates in my lap, glancing down to see a text from my group chat, smiling as I respond.
(Binnie)
R u still on the train?
Yeah have been for the past like 30 mins
(Eunuwu)
Going back to ur parents? Or r u moving out?
Funny
Yk I can’t move out, at least not on my own. My parents won’t allow it
(Binnie)
:/
What about Jaehyun?
Idk, they rlly dc what he does tbh
They’re just hell-bent on me getting into the top schools and shit
(Eunuwu)
Damn, rough
Mhm
(Binnie)
Try talking to them, u never know
They might change their minds?
Nah, I already know how it’s gonna end
Me crying and stuffing myself with pints of ice cream
(Eunuwu)
Doesn't sound so bad
(Binnie)
¬_¬
(Eunuwu)
Except for the crying part ofc
But c’mon it cant really be THAT bad
I’ve been over plenty of times, they seem nice
(Binnie)
U’ve been to her house??
Yeah him and oppa are friends too
(Binnie)
Righttt forgot lol
And that’s bc you were there dumbass and half of the time ur either in oppa’s room or out somewhere
Interaction with my parents = minimal
(Binnie)
That sounds awful ngl :( sorry Hyuna
But hey we should all hang soon!
(Eunuwu)
I’ll be in Seoul for the summer too so y not?
I miss y’all :’(
Ok I should be there around like 5 ish so I’ll text then
(Binnie)
Aww I miss u toooo
(Eunuwu)
*puke*
Shut up, ur just jealous
(Eunuwu)
Me? Jealous?? Of what, ur face?
Yea no thx, Ive got a great face already
And personality 0:)
Gr8, explains why ur still single
(Binnie)
LOLL
She got u there bro
(Eunuwu)
Shut up
Ur talking as if u’ve got a gf
Idiot
(Binnie)
At least I didnt reject them as coldly as u did lol
See? My point exactly
Your fAcE scared off every girl in sight bc of tht pErSoNaLiTy
I almost feel bad for them, u little heart breaker
(Binnie)
He made a couple of em cry I heard
Rlly?!?
YAH
U MORON
(Eunuwu)
Bin wtf
(Binnie)
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
U JERK HOW COULD U??
Those poor girls omg
Im so kicking ur ass when I c u
(Binnie)
Me 2
(Eunuwu)
Wtf?? Y???
(Binnie)
No reason lol, just feel like it
And this is why ily Binnie
(Binnie)
:D <3
(Eunuwu)
GROSS
Can it u demon
Read 4:02 PM
I snort, turning off my phone and placing it back down on my lap as I go back to staring outside my left-hand window again. Meet Cha Eunwoo and Moon Bin, my two best friends. The only reason I got through high school how I did without major setbacks. Sure, there was the occasional homesickness and all, but had I not met these two, I probably wouldn’t have even attended and graduated.
Being so far away from the place I grew up never really suited me, and they saw it right away from day one how lonely and upset I looked. I didn't seem to fit in, especially since I skipped a grade and was placed in classes that were very advanced for me. Not that I minded the vigor, but it was hard for me to socialize, let alone make friends.
That’s when I met them. Freshman year in homeroom before my first literature class. Moon Bin, a boy with parted, coppery-golden hair accompanied by his shy, puppy-eye smile and sweet nature, offered me an empty seat next to him in class, even going as far as to share his textbook and asking how I found the school. No doubt, I was embarrassed and immensely shy, stuttering over my words and failing to meet his soft gaze. However, he didn’t make fun of me nor find me odd. All he did was smile, laughing lightly at my slightly flustered state. He stuck his hand out, introducing himself (most people just call him Moonbin or Bin) with that smile of his, thus the start of our new friendship. Since then, he became someone who always knew how to cheer me up when I was feeling down. No moment was ever dull with him by my side.
Eunwoo, the tall, brooding black-haired and charismatic student almost everyone knew (and crushed on) of, was usually with Moonbin when we hung out together, but he normally kept to himself. Though quiet and sometimes reserved with his intimidating looks, it didn’t take long for him to break the ice with us, the three of us becoming close friends. Promising to stay like this until we went to college and beyond. Regardless if we all diverge and tread different paths, we would always converge and come back to one another.
Four years flew by and graduation was upon us. Just like that, the two became like family to me, my ride-or-die duo. The two who were able to turn my world upside down, finding solace in a time where I thought it was nearly impossible for me to.
My thoughts are interrupted by my “Move” ringtone—yes, I’m a huge Lee Taemin fan—looking down at my phone again to see it’s my brother calling. I sigh, picking up the call.
“What?”
He gasps dramatically. “Is that any way to address your loving older brother after being away for so long?”
I snort, shaking my head. “Loving my ass, oppa. How are mom and dad?”
“They’re fine, living. Didn’t you tell them you’re coming home?”
“Nope, I don’t even text them that often. You already know this..”
He sighs. “Yeah, I figured.”
There’s a slight pause on his end, but he continues. “You took the three-thirty train, right? So you’ll be here around five or so?”
“Yeah, give or take.”
I look out the window again to see the endless stretch of greenery and flowing springs, sometimes even children playing in the fields. I grin mischievously, deciding to poke fun at my brother when he doesn’t respond right away.
“What, you miss me?”
He makes a sound similar to throwing up. “As if. I got so used to the peace and quiet. I’m not ready for it to go away.”
“Yah!” I realize that I had yelled a bit too loudly and eyes were now trained on me, and I bow my head in apology. I lower my voice, “You’re such an asshole.”
“Oh, I know, but you still love me anyway.”
“Shut up.”
I can hear his laugh resonate through the phone and a smile unknowingly tugs at my lips. I wouldn’t say it out loud, but it’s true. When I lived with my aunt in Busan for the duration of high school, I missed Jaehyun a lot. Though two years older than me, he didn’t seem to alienate me the way my parents do. While I hate the notion that they spoil Jaehyun endlessly and let him do as he wishes, I won’t lie and say that he was a prick about it. He could’ve been, but he never came off as selfish. I’m really close with my brother, shocking as it may be. Sibling relationships are like that—one minute you want to strangle them with their intestines and the next you’re singing duets together. Crazy, but that’s how it is for us. My parents don’t really pay me any attention, so Jaehyun decides to do that instead. Not complaining though. I’d rather take his pranking and teasing over my parents’ demands and reprimands any day.
“Aight, I’m heading out for a bit. Text me when you arrive.”
I smile again. “Will do, but make sure to get me food!”
“Let me think…” He hums, and I can practically sense the smirk on his end. “Nope. Get your own.”
“Oppa!”
Jaehyun laughs. “See you in a bit, Hyuna. Get here safely. Bye!”
He hangs up the call before I get a chance to retort, and I scoff. Typical of my brother. He knows how much I enjoy street food, and every time he goes out, it’s almost certain that most of the time he stops somewhere to eat. Did he ever bring food back? Sure, but by the time I’d get to it, most of it was gone anyways. That only lasted a little while before I had gone upstate anyways, so he had more food for himself, I guess.
As the train barrels down the tracks, I feel my heart racing in excitement, but there’s also a slight ounce of dread. I really don’t know why. I want to believe it’s because I’ve been away for too long, but part of me knows it’s the fact that I’ll have to face my parents again. Knowing that I only have two months to decide where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, I know the bitter truth is that those decisions won’t be left up to me. Last time, I was sent to Busan.
God knows where I’d be sent to now.
***
“Final destination of the KTX Busan-Seoul train at Seoul Station is approaching and will arrive at 05:30 PM. The doors to alight are on the right hand side. All passengers are requested to dismount the train upon arrival. Thank you.”
That’s my stop.
Gathering my bag and hand luggage, I patiently wait for the train to pull up at the station. Seeing the familiar shops and buildings around me makes my legs bounce up and down in both excitement and anticipation.
Four long years away from Seoul...
Before getting off, I quickly text the group chat and then my brother, letting them all know that I’ve reached safely. Side-stepping the other passengers exiting the subway doors, I carefully land onto the platform with my luggage in tow. I breathe in the air around as I stretch my arms up into the sky, the grin widening on my face.
It sure as hell feels good to be back home.
I try my best to maneuver through the crowds, but it doesn’t stop the rush of people knocking into me. At times like these, I curse my genetics for favoring my older brother instead of me in terms of height. Eventually, I come to a clearing and when my eyes glance upwards, I spot a rather familiar dark brown-haired six-foot-tall male amongst the small crowd waving me over.
“Hyuna, over here!”
I gasp, my eyes widening. “Oppa!”
He smiles as I begin walking towards him, my feet hurriedly moving across the concrete. The distance between us shortens and I abandon my luggage as he opens his arms wide.
Only for me to sucker punch him in the stomach.
He yelps in pain, grimacing as he holds his abdomen. “Shit, that hurt. What has Aunt Sua been feeding you up there? Rocks?”
I smack his shoulder, my blood slightly boiling in anger. “Yah, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! Do you know how much money I blew off for the bus fare?”
He straightens his back before going to rub his shoulder, then behind his neck.
“Fine, fine. My bad. I wanted to surprise you, but I guess that didn’t work, did it?”
I cross my arms over my chest, huffing in annoyance. He sighs, nodding.
“Okay, okay, I’ll compensate you. Dinner’s on me.”
At this I grin, blinking excitedly. I grab onto his arm and shake it vigorously. “Really? You mean it? You’re the best, oppa!”
“Look at this brat..” he taunts, shaking his head. In a flash, he headlocks me and rubs the top of my head harshly with his knuckles, upsetting the neatly-tied auburn ponytail.
“Yah! Quit it!” I smack his arms and flail in protest, but he chuckles, saying this is what I get for cunningly finding a way to exploit him the minute I stepped back into Seoul.
What can I say? It’s a talent.
He lets go eventually, and I try to smooth down my already-tangled hair. I grumble incoherently but Jaehyun pulls me into his embrace, wrapping his arms around me. His free hand gently pats the side of my head in comfort.
“Welcome home, sis.”
I stand there stiff for a second before hugging back. He squeezes me tighter and I find myself smiling into his shoulder.
“Good to be back,” I whisper.
We stand like that for a moment before he pats my back a couple of times, us pulling away from each other soon after. He reaches behind me to grab my hand luggage as he shoulders my bag. I tell him that I can carry them just fine, but he starts walking away from the platform to the parking lot. I call out after him as I run to catch up, and I can see the corners of his mouth twitch. Jaehyun leads me to his car, a sleek matte-silver convertible Mustang. My mouth drops open in shock at its stunning beauty, my body forcing itself to remain composed for the sake of avoiding public self-embarrassment.
He throws my luggage in the back seat before he turns to me, smirking at my expression. “You like it?”
“Shit, do I like it? I love it!” I run my fingers over its metallic surface, the silver exterior gleaming in the evening glow. Grinning, I stare up at my brother who catches my gaze as I stand next to the driver’s seat, my fingers already curled on the handle.
“Can I—”
“No.”
“Please—”
“Nope.”
I pout as I pull my hand away and step to the side. Jaehyun chuckles, rubbing my head playfully before getting into the driver’s seat and starting the car. The engine purrs to life as my brother pulls out his shades and wears them. He looks at me and cocks his head to the passenger seat.
“Don’t just stand there. Get in.”
Smiling, I quickly make my way over to the other side and slip into the passenger seat. I barely have time to buckle in before Jaehyun speeds off. I scream in fright, but he laughs heartily, telling me to let loose.
With the wind harshly whipping around us, I close my eyes and tilt my head upwards, absorbing the remnants of my childhood in a place I’ll always call home. A place where my heart always feels at ease.
My name is Jung Hyuna. I’m eighteen years old, and this is my story.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |
#moonbin x oc#moonbin ff#moonbin fic#moon bin#cha eunwoo#jung jaehyun#astro#nct#fanfiction#my writings#mine
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some thoughts while reflecting on suicidal ideation. just heads up this is really really long lol and i don’t expect anyone to read it i’ve just been jouranling a lot and i decided it was normal and reasonable to share these kinds of thoughts with 2k strangers on tumblr.
btw im fine i prommy im just like venting basically. and pls don’t reblog this it’s embarrassing stream of consciousness crazy talk <3
in the moment when you’re spiraling and feeling completely helpless you can only feel sad. after that moment has passed, it feels like “wow that was fucking dramatic”. it’s like being angry at yourself for thinking that somehow you’re too special to suffer along with everyone else.
a lot of people don’t have it easy. so many people struggle their entire lives why should i be any different? do i think im better than other people?
i just want to tell myself to suck it up. it never works though, inevitably there’s another spiral and im stuck feeling like the saddest little weenie on the whole planet.
suicidal thoughts can seem irrational but it never feels that way in the moment. especially when you’ve dealt with it for so long. half of me tells myself im being stupid and it’s such first world problems but the other half of me is like, it’s always been this way there’s no other way to be.
the annoying thing about suicidal thoughts is that there’s always a little spark of hope. there’s always that devil/angel thing going on where you convince yourself life is meaningless and hopeless and there’s no point in staying but then you’re like well what if this happens and that makes it a little more bearable. for years i would just pray that the dumb little hope spark would just die out already but it hasn’t and it probably won’t no matter how much i’ve convinced myself there’s no point in anything.
it’s human nature to want to survive. your body tries to keep you alive whenever you’re hurt. if you’re bleeding or suffocating or otherwise seriously injured your body is fighting to keep you alive even when you don’t want it to. could you imagine if your body didn’t try to stay alive? like if you got anything worse than a paper cut and you just endlessly bled?
not trying to make it religious. you can if you want, but i don’t really have that belief. what creature doesn’t try to keep itself alive? plants will regrow if a deer nibbles them too much. so yeah if you get hurt your body is gonna try to heal that hurt.
suicide. self harm. trauma. are all hard things to talk about and to hear about. well, everyone always wants the gruesome details but hearing about the thought behind it is way less interesting.
because it sounds really simple that well, people who hurt themselves or who talk about dying are experiencing [quote from the DSM] and yeah but that also makes it seem like they’re being irrational
when you’re really thinking that life isn’t worth living it feels completely rational. you’ve thought of every avenue of trying to live and none of it seems worthwhile and you’re also just fucking tired. it doesn’t seem worth the effort.
life can be really long or it can end unexpectedly. imagining a long life and sometimes you can only see how everything will continue going wrong forever. it’s not just being pessimistic sometimes it’s seeing a pattern in your life where things keep falling apart. sometimes it’s seeing the world around you and feeling like you don’t want to be part of the insanity anymore. and no amount of hand drawn comics with fuzzy blue kittens or memes about all the sunrises you’ll miss can make you feel differently. who cares about the sunrise when you hate waking up everyday? who cares about the sunset when you have nightmares all night?
not saying that there’s no way to help people who are suicidal but that maybe the same approach doesn’t work for everyone. there doesn’t always have to be an approach of trying to find a solution to every concern they have. sometimes if you just let people talk it helps just to say it.
because it feels crazy. you feel like an insane person because who the hell wants to die? who’s that dramatic? at least that’s how it can feel. it’s really alienating and isolating to feel like you can never be honest with anyone because they’ll never see you the same way again. suddenly you’re a fragile little egg and they have to “check in” on you to make sure you haven’t finally cracked. i think it’s possible to keep people safe without making them feel like they’re under a microscope.
obviously it’s hard to listen to someone talk about really heavy stuff and i wouldn’t expect people to always be down for that. sometimes it just helps to know that someone out there even knows that you’re struggling. because it feels so shitty to keep it all inside and maybe you don’t want to talk about it all the time.
it’s not about making your friend group your personal crisis counselors. it always goes back to the idea that it’s not really acceptable to openly talk about struggling and that should change.
it’s a tragedy when anyone feels like they can’t take another day in the world. there are so many things that need to change in order to support people who feel that way because it isn’t always just linked to mental health alone. things like poverty or ongoing abuse can exacerbate it.
people really love true crime. they love hearing ghastly details of abuse and murder. but people can’t face the fallout from things like that. the people left behind after the case is closed who are traumatized. people like to satisfy their morbid curiosity but there’s real people on the other end of that.
there’s no satisfying way to end a conversation about suicide. at least for me idk in the back of my head i’ll probably always feel like life is an opt out kind of experience even if i manage to find ways to make existence bearable. there’s never a perfect answer for everything.
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My thoughts rewatching all the Harry Potter movies back to back
forgive typos, and be warned - there's a lot...
the first two have a smaller amount of thoughts for some reason, idk why
Philosopher’s Stone
teeny harry haha
that snake is so beautiful
no post on sundays bro
hi hagrid
how did the dursleys get off the island tho
aw harry is so teeny and innocent
ollivander’s entrance is so iconic, like i want to enter every room like that
hermione is so great already
and you are…
‘you’ve got dirt on your nose by the way, did you know?’
haha tiny malfoy
TREVOR! + neville
that death glare mcgonagall omg
oof snape really hates harry
it's leviooosa not leviosaaa
troll in the dungeon!!!
hi fluffy
ew norbert is gross to be completely honest
creepy malfoy staring at the window
malfoy being sassy wow
‘nighty night…’ whyyy filch?
oof ron are u ok
bye hermione
voldemort is kinda cute with his big eyes
harry really just killed quirrell jeez man
alas earwax
Chamber of Secrets
ah go away dobby don't be weird
yes the car with fred and george
oof bye uncle vernon haha
ah awkward let go of harry lockhart we hate u
haha ginny is iconic
rons face when the train comes omg
ron can drive? that's impressive…
ooh a voice scaryyy
hey colinnn
eat slugs - yas
let go of his arm lockhart
uh oh colin is petrified
hahaha snape annihilated lockhart wow
gosh moaning myrtle is annoying
tom riddle is such a weirdo hgh
ew spiders
lockhart is hilarious when he has lost his mind wow
yas fawkes
ew he just stuck the sword right through its head didn't he...
powerful sock…
go away lucius ur annoying
Prisoner of Azkaban
ugh aunt marge blow up already
sassy harry tm
tom is iconic
so is crookshanks tbh
the knight bus kinda sucks in the movie tho
yess lupin hi
ugh shut up trelawney
ah the best scene aka harry and draco being sassy towards each other
‘it’s killed meh!’
the other best scene: lupin, boggarts and the record player
love when they are eating sweets and just being good friends
yay marauders map - iconic fred and george
nice snowman also
my dad didn't strut and neither do i - yeah right...
yes leave hermione
trelawney stop being creepy
take that malfoy
harry third wheeling
yas remus save sirius
"old married couple" haha snape knows what's up
die peter lol
haha yes they will chop your leg off ron definitely
ugh harry stop being noble
haha yes mentioning the marauders
ew stop peter
oh no werewolf
sirius is so dramatic haha he cant stop turning into a werewolf my dude
bad idea yes ron i agree
oof fight him sirius
no sirius!
the dementorssss
no harry that's not a real patronus dude
nom eat the little soul nugget nice
ah no they're gonna kiss sirius nooo
scabbers did it ok... shut up ron
dumbledore just smacking ron's broken leg and being mysterious
and enter many time paradoxes
‘this is not normal’ hahahah wow harry
yess save buckbeak dudes
yas beautiful patronus dude
this music tho wow
au revoir sirius
I wonder how many stairs they ran up...
poor ron so confused
that bird just got squished no
don't leave lupin
please tell harry about the marauderss
i love lupin omg
ooh a firebolt thanks godfather
the ending face wow
Goblet of Fire
ooh nagini hello
yay frank you will die soon so enjoy your tea
dr who!
ah voldemort's creepy little hand tm
yes ron is covering his non existent boobs wow
hermione's so mad 4 some reason
yes cedric diggory in a tree
everyone has long hair why
isn't just any manky old boot mate
cedric amos and arthur are show offs
feet off the table!
i luv magik
wow krum is enjoying himself
Why is draco wearing a suit?
lucius is very ominous
think ur in luvvv ron
is there no winky in this? sad
harry is so awkward omg
bye hedwig find sirius even though the ministry cant
oh bonjour beauxbatons
wow so dramatic here come the durmstrang peoples
wow run filch ao athletic
ew the beauxbatons entrance is so weird and compared to the durmstrang one is kind of sexist
ow poor flitwick a fork to the hand that's gotta hurt
moody is so dramatic
dumbledore already shouting nice
why does he have so many bugssss
ah that is a creepy spider
poor neville he has to have cuppa with moody that sucks
yess fred and george back at it again
hermione ruining the vibe
HARRY POTTER DIDJA PUTCHA NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIYAH dumbledore asked calmly
what would happen if harry was just like "nope"? would he die that would be interesting
igh rita skeeter go away ur creepy my dude
hate it when ur eyes glisten with ghosts of ur past
yas sirius in a fire
"who are u talking to?" "im vlogging ron" (how it should have gone. harry should have a youtube channel just saying)
poor harry a third wheel yet again between madame maxime and hagrid ew
wow draco in a tree, why? so many people in trees this movie
"nyaaah"
malfoy as a ferret is my favorite character
my father will hear about thissss
omg rita get outttt
fight the dragonnnn
feel like someone should have stopped the dragon after it broke free... idk *shrugs*
it would be so boring if u were watching the tournament because you can't see anything that's happening most of the time, only for the 1st task and a bit if the 3rd task.
knew u wouldnt die harry, lose a leg - or an arm -pack it in all together? nevaaaaa
god just open it harry
ron ur so awkward...
harry spitting out his drink will never not be funny to me
oh yes the gorgeous dress robes
poor ron has it tough, having to dance with mcgonagall and having ro wear those robes...
*babbling bumbling band of baboons*
the twins are hilarious in this haha
aw neville!
snape is really violent can't 2 boys discuss their love lives or lack thereof in peace
ron's jealous of viktor krum haha
love harry just being so confused and saying "spectacular" when cedric speaks to him.
given the fact harry literally told him the task cedric didn't do that much to help.
ugh no myrtle stop
harry going "do i" when neville tells him he seems tense is such a mood
harry's hair when he was swimming haha
just leave them harryy omg too noble
harry holds his breath for a long time after his gills go away - longer than i can
fred and george making fun of harry having 'moral fiber' is exactly what i would do in the situation
mr crouch stop being weird
yes finally singing hoggy warty hogwarts
oh hi mr crouch, taking a nap in the forest are u? cool
i would say do not stick your face in the pensieve but that's just me
Dr Who changed a bit since i last saw him, he's a bit mental now...
snape is so iconic wow
"bubble juice sir?" bahaha sassy harry back at it again
this music is so great
i would freak out if i had to go in that maze it's so creepy and feels like it would be so filled with jumpscares just nope
"a cauldron? What are u guys gonna do - eat me? that's gross!" feels like it should be in the movie
aw baby voldemort is so cute
ugh just chop off another finger or something wormtail jeez so much drama
how is voldemort still alive - the cauldron is on fire??
the movie is also really missing voldemort dancing with the death eaters
u dont have hair my dude stop caressing ur bald head
voldemort has lovely long fingernails
lucius' blonde hair poking out from beneath his hood is so funny 4 some reason.
"i can touch u now" is really not a good sentence
bit awkward to return with a dead body...
its alright harry *shakes his head violently*
uh oh that's not professor moody its barty jr
Order of the Phoenix
halfway done woo
the intro music is still a jam the 5th time
that is big whinging not little whinging
hi big D what a great nickname...
uh oh dementorrrrr
yes mrs figg the most iconic character in the movies
harry looks a lot like frodo baggins
yay the order is rescuing him finally
yes remus and sirius and mrs weasley and everyone
ooh kreacher
jeez hermione attack him
crookshanks attacking the extendable ears is just what my cat would do
cute godfather godson moments yeass
arthur weasley trying to function as a muggle is just so wholesome
ugh not umbridge ew
yes clear those charges
aw padfoot yess
wow that's a lovely coat sirius
voldemort looks great in a suit wow
didn't harry see his parents die? why couldn't he see the thestral before?
yes luna!
oh shut up umbridge oh my goddd
yes ron u tell seamus like a good friend
sassy harry reaching full potential
ugh umbridge sucks wow
so evil torturing harry
yes weasleys wizards wheezes
luna is so pure and perfect
the friendship between her and harry is so amazing
yas tell umbridge, mcgonagall
trelawneys bad but she doesn't deserve to be kicked out by umbridge
oof professor dumbledore just straight up ignored harry
yes harry just say you're rubbish that will make people think your sane
yes hermione break the rules!
oof ginny is jealous of cho liking harryyyy
yay the room of requirement!
dumbledores army is so fabuloussss
nigel is amazing and i love him
wow hermione just knocked out ron haha
harry potter the boy who made cheesy inspirational speeches
wow ginny is so powerful
harry and cho are so awkward eeehhhh
just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon *cringy forced laughter*
occlumency lessonnssss yay what fun
cute christmas scenes wow
ooh the family tree and sirius' backstory yay
harry u aren't becoming like voldemort u are going through pubertyyyy its hormonesssssss
yay hagrid finally
oh no it's bellatrix get ready for crazinesss
poor sirius he keeps getting the blame for everything that's so unfair
is neville tall or is harry short, because there is a huge height difference
aw all the patronuses are so cute
uh oh here comes umbridge...
noo they are captured and dumbledores lying waaa
oof dumbledore is as sassy as harry at some points - "dumbledores got style"
no umbridge is heaf and shes fricking evilllll
grawp yess. hes kind of cutee
ron is jealous of grawp bahaha
sheesh snape chill
yes a bit of maraudrrss aahhhh
thats it? noo
aw fred and george comforting a little boy is too cute!
yes fred and george!!! disrupt those OWLS!!
no harry! he doesn't have sirius nooo
yes hermione fake it till u make it ( or until u get umbridge attacked by grawp )
yay the centaurs are here as well get herrr
'i must not tell lies' the sass omg
jeez how many prophecies are there wow
pranked, harry dude ur kind of rubbish
well done ginny you've made all the prophecies fall
yh id rather watch my friends die than give u the prophecy, don't really like them tbh
yas sirius!
the order yes
you're beautiful sirius
noooooo siriusss 😭😭😭😭
yooo voldemort my dudeee
hope the ministry has a massive roomba
the DA just come in to see harry writhing on the floor and are like 'cool'
nice one fudge finally realised he's back cool, cool
ah yes angsty harry tm
aw poor luna, her shoes are all stolen.
luna is an icon though
we have something voldy doesn't - noses hahahaha
Half Blood Prince
uh oh the dark mark is here
death eaters as well fun
fenrir greyback!!
oh no not this bridge! i went across it and i was scared af
dumbledore appearing out of nowhere is so funny
ew slughorn no
wow i need dumbkwdored tidying spell so badly
slughorn collecting people is kind of creepy tbh
im so glad i dont have as many staircases as the weasleys
oh yes narcissa and bellatrix being shifty
oops snape u probs shouldnt have done that
yess fred and george!!!
weasleys wizard wheezes looks amazinggg
uh not cormac mclaggen
oooh its "draco and mummy"
no fenrir we wanted to look at draco stroking a cabinet
yes arnold!
yes draco malfoy is a "creepy bloke" ronald
why is draco always wearing a suit??
yes draco is going to pigfarts!
ouch why would u stomp on his nose??
yez luna save him
noo dont let snape teach defense against the dark arts!! i miss lupin...
poor harry having to do potions again ugh
dun dun dunnn the half blood prince
poor seamus stuff is still exploding
haha dumbledore ships hermione and harry lol
baby tom riddle is creepyy
tom riddle and slughorn were bffs wow so cute
edgy draco in his loki suit
aw rons the only one listening
ugh cormac mclaggen is so gross nooo
haha ron is so rubbish at quidditch id be just like him
'the binding is fragile' hahaha excuses
harry sleeps with his potions book hheehe wow
wow sneaky draco
rons face when hermione mentions her snogging him haha.
uh oh cursed necklace alert
harry pottrr the boy who just knew
snape is so sarcastic wow icon (not really tho ew)
oh god they're talking about skin aahhh
noo harry stop being awkwarddddd sit downn
ew cormac stop eating profiteroles so suggestively ugh
haa rons outfit
ew lavender stopp
oh yes "felix felicis" makes ron great at quidditch
poor hermione she just loves ron thats all
aw hermione and harrys friendship is so nice
angsty draco standing in a tower
"bUt I aM tHe ChOsEn OnE" god harry so pretentious
luna is the coolest person there is, nice work harry
draco in a suit again looking sad he does that a lot
no draco ur apple!
oh nvm its back dw
ugh cormac sucks. hermione why??
at least cormac did 1 good thing and vomited on snapes shoes
draco was lurking omgggg thats his vibe now
cant break an unbreakable vow - figured that out for myself thanks (sassy harry)
ew lavender stopppp
ooh noo ginny dont feed him a mince pie awkwarddd
thanks ron
stoppp ginny. harry can tie his own shoelaceee
why do they need to burn the burrow this doesnt happen in the books #not canon
wow everyones sassy including hermione now
also lav is an awful nicknname
aha tom riddle is still creepy
okay thats a lie slughorn u told him about horcruxes
uh oh ron loves romilda vane oop
harry thinks the moon is divine haha
Ron hugging a pillow then falling off the sofa in the background oh my gosh
slughorn is so useless
haha snapes face while rons saying hermiones name
draco being edgy again woowwww
lavender that is a death glare if ever i saw one
oh no draco is crying in a bathroom now like a moody teenager
let him cry in peace harry god man
'nyaaah' is dracos go to dueling sound
oops harry u kinda killed him a little bit.
no this is so awkwarddd ginny dont
just kiss like in the books after the quidditch match thats way better
yes the felix felicis
love harry potter like this its so funny
‘harry!’ ‘sir!’
not to mention the pincers *gestures awkwardly*
nice speech harry, now u have answers on the horcruxes
ooh back to tom riddle being creepy
yas harry and dumbledore field trip quality student teacher time
snape being edgy now wow everyone is in this movie
oops foreshadowing...
harry has precious blood apparently?
yay boat ride and smoothie
harry potter not harry water bro
noo bad just aguamenti right into his mouth Harry
yay new friends!!!
dumbledore ur gonna set harry on fire careful my dude
ooh death eaterz
did draco change intot hat suit to impress the death eaters?
oop bye dumbledore
harry brooding in dumbledores office
yess RAB get wrecked voldemort
harry ur thick apparently?
aw cute friendship
Deathly Hallows Pt. 1
rusty logo wow
‘ello whoo are u
oh scrimgeour hi i dislike u dude
veey dramatic
aaawww hermione no
yas dudley being nice to harry and vernon listening to him and leaving
ron brooding wow
bye parents sad face
wow vernons old man
ooh its snapeee he looks loke he has a lot of contpur on
yay snape has a savey seat
pius is a great name
uh oh i dont wanna give u my wand voldy
dracos face haha
ugh do they have to watch nagini eat professor burbage gross
the dursleys house looks so empty
yay the cupboard happy memories and his baby toys cuteee
moody thinks that harrys gorgeous.
yay remus and tonksss
shut up mundungus
blimey hermionee
'just trying to diffuse the tension' hahaha lol
wow so many harrys lol
yh wouldnt want to go in the motorbike tbh
uh oh death eaters
wow parkour harry
nooo hedwig - the saddest bit of this movie
yo voldemort wassup
oops the pylons fell down... just fly away good idea
nooo george's ear
jeez lupin y are u being crazy dude
george is saint like and holy aw so cute brother moments
uh oh bye moody u were a bit creepy tbh
ha lol harry a lot of people are going to die for u
harry stop being moody omg
wow george way to ruin the vibe dude
yo minister leave pls
ron just being ungrateful - u can turn out lights now ron lucky u
yay hermione you get a childrens book thats great
wow a snitch lucky u harry. hes so pleased with that. little does he know.... its a resurrection stone bro
give him the sword man
yay nice wedding
luna interrupting deep thoughts casually
xenophilius is creepy
ron and hermione staring at each other is a mood.
way to crash a wedding dude
hermione is the most competent out of all three it has to be said
i really want that bag of hermiones
shouldnt have said voldemory now the death eaters are here whoops
"hermione" *strokes face awkwardly*
sassy harry yas
oh yes grimmauld place
oof voldys having wand struggles
hi kreacher please leave ur creepy thanks
aw siriuzz room so cute sad hes dead
regulus arcturus black yay
ugh mundungus fletcher u suck dude
aw neville
oh no pie dude is the minister if magic now
uh shut up umbridge
feel like u dont need that many posters
sentimental piano playing wow
yo dobbyyyy
umbridge ruins everything omg
ron - u dont have a wife
haha harry getting out of the lift and walking in such a weird wayyy bahahaha
ew umbridge has moodys eye groosss
yas the ugly plates are still in her office
oops ron u just kissed that random dudez wife
nice suit harry
ouch splinch
lovely tent
kill the locket dude
dean thomas is on the run ooh fancy
yh harry stop letting voldemort in dude
harry stop being so moody bro
ooh watch snape on the map thats not creepy.
oh no snatchers...
ah u almost got caught dudes
ron ur so weak wow cant apparate or anything
lot of missing people...
haha a quarantine haircut
yes hermione ur brilliant
oh god ron stop chill
bye ron i guess lol
poor hermione
yas awkward dancing timee
awkward stares
kissy for the snitch. he must really miss ginny
uh oh its opening at the closee
vfd!!! an eyee!!!
ooh godrics hollowwww
oop its christmas eve whoopssss
oh a deathly Hallows
parents grave yay!
ur bathilda? nope im a snake boiii
bathilda is 1 creepy lady
what are u saying my dude????
ew snake lady
chaira are good defences agaunst snakes definitely
ah she jumped at them
looks like a nice campsite
wow now hermiones being sentimental
oop she sat on harrys wand
wait nvm
oooh a doe a deer a female deer
dont drown harry that would be awkward
omgbharry stop undressing
oof the locket strangling him
yay ron saved him yas dude
ron kill the horcrux
u tell him hermione
nice ron tell them u have been hearing voices
yes go see xenophilius the crazy dudee
aw ron ur so awkwsrd bro
their house is so cute
shut up ron god
yay we know about the deathly hallows now
xenophilius is so suspicious tho
why would you say his nameeee
noo snatchers
ooo ominous malfoy manor
draco dont doo ittt
yay dobby!
ah no hermione
aw draco looks sad in his little loki suit
yay dobby 'maiming and seriously injuring'
nooo dobby! he deserved so much better 😭
"hey guys welcome back to my unboxing video today we are opening dumbledores grave"
yay the elder wand wow
giving away ur position a bit dude by shooting stuff in the air
Deathly Hallows Pt. 2
snape hi ur brooding
lots of dementys
dramatic music
waaa dobby
yay bill and fleur
yo griphook what up
the sword was in a river bro
madam lestrange? no!
oops thats not dracos wand anymore wowww
wands are just like 'ya hiiii we have feelings too'
oop ollivander knows about the elder wand bros
ron looks great with a moustache tho
harry just broke the law jeez...
wow that cart looks fun
wow they fell from the cart nice
oh no ron broke the law too whoops
yay a dragon
lots of gold nice
yay the cup
oops they messed up nkw everything is multiplyinggg
griphook y are u evil my dude
yay ride a dragon
oops they fell no
yas they escaped
uh oh voldemort is onto them
that's a lot of dead people
oh no everyones looking for them
ah aberforth hi!
the other part of harry's mirror!
oop dumbledore was a secretive dude
ariana yas
neville!
i love neville hes so great now
yay all of the DA
luna!
ginny is being awkward
'shut up seamus' hhaha
aaa snape yooo
snape stop being a meanie
stop being angry harry
yas queen! mcgonagall!!!!
yay
uh oh voldemort is whispering to harry again
stop voldemort you need a cough sweet
yes everyone protect him
haha filch is a blithering idiot wow
i love mcgonagall
run harry
boom! seamus blow stuff up!
yay the knight peeps
uh yes theyre protecting harry and everyone
yes luna is so smart and iconic
go talk to a ghost harry
thats a lot of death eaters
go away voldemort no one likes u
yes go stab a crown harry
yay remus
fred and george aw
ron fake parseltonguing lol
nooo quidditch
lol peeps got disintegrated
go hermione stab the cup
yessss kisss!!!!
tonks and remus together wow
wow i hate voldemort's bald head with the weird veins
run neville!
yay ginny and neville
yay a little kiss for harry!
ooh the room of requirement
edgy draco back at it again
ooh the diadem
no dracooo
yh draco y didnt u give harry away?
aw ron loves hermione
uh oh fireee
nice work goyle
bye crabbe lol
yay hes saving draco
nice killed the tiara
oops voldemorts getting angry
snapes gonna dies dudes
runnnnn guys
lavenders being eaten
yay aberforth
yeet snapes dying
gosh naginis violent
“ew snape sorry i dont like u even tho u loved my mum” - what harry should have said
woops bye snape
freds death is too sad
nooo remus and tonks
go watch snapes life my dude
yess the always bit (i dont like snape but its iconic)
poor harry
its so sad that hes just sacrificing himself
his eye contact with ron omg im cryinggg
ooh yay his familyyy
he should have said 'its muffin time’ to the resurrection stone and it would be like 'cool bro here's your dead family'
u got this harry
yay teddy mention
"until the end" yas james
lets do this harry
wow voldemort why are you standing like a weirdo
yes harry be a brave man
byee harryyyy
oooh hes alive still
hi dumbledore
yes harry is a brave brave man
cool explain it to him dumbledore
bye dumbledoreeee
wow voldy u weakk bro
yas dracos alive get off me
aw neville u got this man
voldy yeeted that dead giant wow
ew snakey boi
nooo hes dead waa
poor draco such an awkward hug
oop neville what?
ok ur just making a speech that fine carry on
voldys very polite for a villain
yay harrys alive
haha dieee
run lucius wow
oof destroying the school harry really
naginis coming run hermione
u got dis neville
noo ron
yes molly!!!
y r u hugging dudes u arent friends... did u forget? oops..
ouch
bye snake boiii
neville is so iconic omg
kill him HARRY
noice
haha disintegrate voldemort
byeee
dont breathe in voldemort guys
wow harrys a mess
yay hagrid
hermione and ron are so sweet aw
harry yeet the wand
wow draco owns the wand and now harry has it
YEET
aw the friendship
yess 19 years later
wow that hair harry
all of their haircuts are tragic tbh...
should be albus remus potter... just sayinggg
THE END DUDESSSSS
#pls read#unfortunately this is basically my stream of consciousness#i think like that#idk#philosophers stone#chamber of secrets#prisoner of azkaban#goblet of fire#order of the phoenix#half blood prince#deathly hallows#harry potter#harry potter movie marathon#ron weasley#hermione granger#albus dumbledore#voldemort
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watching every naruto opening and discussing my opinions because im bored liveblog
original
took me a little while to warm up to it idk why maybe because its not as up tempo and its a shonen and i want to get hype but i love it now. love the part where the camera pans around team 7 fighting randos they are babies… also its so funny when sasuke holds out his hand to naruto to help him out of the lake and he jsut fist bumps him. gay boy
Haruka fucking kanata baby!!!!!!!! a fav. like we all know this. i listen to the song just regularly a lot and every time it comes on shuffle im like Oh my god its haruka kanata. read the english translation of the lyrics… sns
this one got stuck in my head for a while lol. i like seeing everyone babie and i like naruto shaking his head at the end to dry off like a dog
DDMnanannaddnnaaaaa naaaaaaaaa nda aaWE ARE FIGHTING DEAMERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOLI OLI OLIOOOOoohh!!!!! very fun very good also a very good time in the show, hello tsunade
**edgy shonen opening where theres something important in front of a chain link fence**
lol skipping 6-9 bc thats the huge chunk of filler which i didnt actually watch most of
shippuden
heros come back is SO GOOD absolutely one of my favs. banger first of all. i love how its actually choreographed and naruto sakura kakashi are like moving to the beat and i love the part where the animation is like pencil sketchy and theyre running and their bodies warp bro its just cool. the part where everyone dramatically reaches for gaara is fun, also love deidaras moment. anyway i shake my ass to this song eveyrday
distance oh god oh fuck. YOU ARE MY FRIEND!!! the sasuke and naruto stuff where they are little baby at the beginning at the end we return to the same place theyre there and like about to stab each other i’m going to scream. i lvoe the song of course. hello sai! i love team 7s little spotlight moments where they get to pose to the music its so cute. why is sasuke snake jesus? DO you remember that long lost DREAM!!!!!!!!!!
BLUE BIRD YA BANGER ok the whole symbolism. when naruto falling next to sasuke rising is positioned like yin and yang lol. when naruto is falling from the sky but then sasuke comes to mind and he springs into action lol. ok random people from the fillers i dont care about. naruto fell in the lake he picks up the bird feather interspersed with a couple shots of sasuke horgh. additional reading: paper bag by fiona apple
closer is one of the ones where im like eh its ok its not my favorite and then it gets to the chorus and my dumb ass is jsut screaming YOU KNOW THE CLOSER YOU GET TO SMETHING THE TOUGHTER IT IS TO REACHIT. the funniest part where narutos moping and thinking of sasuke and then he just perks up and smiles at the camera like. gay boy. like getting to see the asuma fight scenes in this op, also it was so funny seeing him get all the screentime in this op knowing hes about to die like yeah very subtle
SHA LA LA!!!! LOVE IT i love it i love it soooo much first of all banger second of all naruto looking into the water and his reflection is sasuke. lollllll. metaphor m-e-t-a-p-h-o-r the little prechorus bit in the middle gives me chills. love sasuke walking into the purple pool like a smug motherfucker thats my boy. at the end zooming into sasukes pupil zoom out it’s narutos eye oh the poetry..
signs another one of the ones where im like eh whatever its fine but not my fav but by the chorus i am standing on the table freaking out. like fuck jiraiya but this one got me a lil. the lighting and choreography of the sasuke itachi fight bit is sooooo nice and pretty, love getting to see all the new players in the story. baby ame orphans fading to the shot of yahiko as pain.. :(
this one literally makes me cry. i get chills what the fuck. definitely one of my favs. am i a bitch? maybe. i like the song by itself but like the way the rise/general shape of the melody flows with the visuals its like oh god oh fuck. again fuck jiraiya but like the role his character serves as a link between these disparate groups of people and the way thats used in this opening… how it starts and ends with him writing and this is the arc where naruto reads tales of a gutsy ninja and he learns about how he got his name and jiraiya wrote the book and hes WRITING and im going CRAZY!! i’m starting to tear up watching it rn. the shot of konan and the pains in that moment just before they leap forward. Sayonaaaaaaara aa lksasldfkwpoeifjhnuerIELFeuiertekdjsnlfweiourbg kakashis moment is cool in this op. also love to see the girls getting fight scenes in this op cus they sure dont in the actual show LOL anyway yeah im at the part where the melodys just hitting sooo different oh my god naruto frog eyes
DIVERRRRRRR. FAV literally like naruto is drowning. hes drowning and everyone is pushing him up so he can breathe again everyone is fighting to save him and thnen he s ouf ot the water and then he sees sasuke drowning and he JUMPS BACK IN. FOR ONE PERSON EVEN THOUGH ALL THESE OTHER PEOLE were working to help him out he dives back in for SASUKE whos drowning in the eyehole of obitos mask which is cool. ok yeah this is another one where im like tearing up because THe cymbal is em….. the way The movement of the visuals is choreographed with the song is so much. nico TOUCHED the fucking walls.
this one kinda annoys me i dont know why it just wasnt my favorite. love the sasuke and naruto staring at each other intensely moment though, would this be a shippuden opening without that. also the part at the end where sakura holds up her kunai and it like slashes and covers sasuke and naruto… inch resting…
newsongs so weird i love it. like what the hell is going on. why is naruto running like hes from some weird gmod video from 2013. love the LITERAL choreography, everyone dancing to the song like this is a musical. theres just a lot of weird moments which is fun. love sai naruto and sakura making the seal together to shoot lightning. raikage leaping gracefully across the beach
i do not enjoy this one. i just dont. it just feels like we’re bootlicking which of course we are because this is the war arc and everything is a nightmare
i remember seeing the first episode with this opening and i was excited bc its like… great another naruto pining for sasuke one this is what im here for. a light banger. minato manlet monday. ohh right this was the one where gaara sees his dad again and his OH I SEE SASUKEE
Banger! nico did indeed touch the walls again. i like that this one is like visually thematically consistent thru the whole thing, i like the nighttime dimly lit atmosphere with the bursts of brighter colorful lighting, also whenever i see tsunade i freak out. narutos cute at the end
SUCH A BANGER!!! also very cool visual style, appreciate it for that like the last one, its got that pretty consistent aesthetic with the red sky and the high contrast black blocking its fun and cool to watch. did i mention the song is a bit of a banger. obito passing thru the rock is cool too bad hes an idiot
ok from this one there were two lines i remember always seeing in the english sub that made me freak out. and one of them was like “this red hot love burning my heart” and it was over kakashi and obito fighting like damn OK. also the “i put the candle out with my finger” thing sticks in my head idk why. hate that we have the narutos big meaty claws i mean manly hands moment though. omg its hashirama and madara and then it CUTS TO SASUKE AND NARUTO IN THE SAME POSE LOL OK…
SILHOUETTE IS a banger… not as much so as some of the others but its a lot of fun. very colorful op, we got some naruto pining for sasuke, classic. also love the thing where ppl are running and they age as they do and they sort of grow into their present selves, a fun visual bit. the end where narutos like obito be nice now look at all these people behind me who think youre a meanie please be nice :(((((((((
another one with a really good visual principle ugh i love how the style of the show is integrated w the styles of more traditional printmaking its very swexy and nice to look at
LINE uugrgh i love this one, maybe a fav… naruto chasing after the light and sasuke trying so hard to snuff it out as they both reflect on their memories of each other oh god oh fuck… also i love the bits where it just has all the characters in a row like it reminds me of that one post about how in the endgame trailer they had a shot of all the female characters together to be like Girl power!! and someone was like yeah thats them showing u exactly how many women theyre going to disrespect LMAO but yeah i do love this op. also the song itself being slower w/ the triplet tempo is a nice change of pace
blood circulator hee hee… the version of this with naruto and sasuke moments is A Lot but even just the generic first version is fun. the part where narutos like knocked on his face hes sinking into the tar and hes not even trying to save himself hes just staring at sasuke, but then he sees sasuke distressed and he goes bijuu mode immediately like What did u say about my mans? there is some homoeroticism
i really hate everything about this i hate it all. sasuke is cute. thats it. ok first of all why did choji cut his hair his long hair look was so gooooooood. hinata bimboification? i mean if anything it was fun to watch these fillers just cus it was fun to watch kakashi be the hokage but really goofy and also the Crumbs tossed to the kakairus… but yeah i hate everything temari got bimbofied too like ugh please let her be a dyke :( this isnt even me talking necessarily about the opening this is me just being like i hate the naruto ending. LOL SASUKE AND NARUTOS NO HOMO BRO HIGH FIVE AT THE END LOLLLLL
ok im done
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Lover Review (Long Post Warning)
Now that I’ve listened to the complete album six times today, I feel qualified enough to review it. Spoiler Alert: I FUCKING LOVE IT. 9.4/10
1. I Forgot That You Existed (10/10)
Favorite Lyric:
And I would've stuck around for ya Would've fought the whole town, so yeah Would've been right there, front row Even if nobody came to your show
Favorite Vocals: I’m obssesed with how she sings “ And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn't” in the last chorus. Love it so much 13/10
Overall Thoughts: I love this song. It’s catchy and was the one that was stuck in my head after finally going to bed at 2:30. I get excited every time i realize it’s coming back on next.
2. Cruel Summer (10/10)
Favorite Lyric: “I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you”
Favorite Vocals: When she shouts “he looks up grinning like a devil” is a religious experience. So into it.
Overall Thoughts: It’s fun and sounds very 1989.
3. Lover (10/10)
Favorite Lyric: “Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years”
Favorite Vocals: “Swear to be over dramatic and true to my lover And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me” my favorite lines to hear and sing.
Overall Thoughts: gorgeous song. If I ever get married I would play this at my wedding. very romantic
4. The Man (10/10)
Favorite Lyric:
“They'd say I hustled, put in the work They wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve” (YOU DESERVE ALL OF THIS TAYLOR ilysm)
Favorite Vocals:
“What's it like to brag about raking in dollars And getting bitches and models? And it's all good if you're bad And it's okay if you're mad If I was out flashing my dollars I'd be a bitch, not a baller”
Overall Thoughts: I was kinda worried about this song before hearing it but I’m obsessed. Beat: amazing. Lyrics: fantastic and so truthful. vocals: fabulous.
5. The Archer (8/10)
Favorite Lyric:
“All the king's horses, all the king's men Couldn't put me together again 'Cause all of my enemies started out friends”
Favorite Vocals: “I say I don’t want that but what if I do”
Overall Thoughts: it’s pretty. I love synth pop so i’m very into the sound of it. It doesn’t strike me as a true track five though. Not enough of a story for me. All too Well was so descriptive and had such raw emotion that you can just feel listening to it. This definitely has the emotion but lacks to the description to really transport me somewhere.
6. I Think He Knows (10/10)
Favorite Lyric: “I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans”
Favorite Vocals:
“Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh We could follow the sparks, I'll drive ‘So where we gonna go?’ I whisper in the dark”
Overall Thoughts: This is the other song that was stuck in my head from my first 2 listens. Dress was a sultry “sexy” song and this is playful af. Definitely gonna be dancing to this in my kitchen until to the end of time.
7. Miss America & The Heartbreak Prince (10/10)
Favorite Lyrics:
“ You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes”
American stories burning before me I'm feeling helpless, the damsels are depressed Boys will be boys then, where are the wise men? Darling, I'm scared (Ah)
Favorite Vocals:
It's you and me, that's my whole world They whisper in the hallway, "She's a bad, bad girl"
and when she sings
“just thought you should know”
Overall Thoughts: WOW. this song is fantastic and every time i listen I find something else I love about it. also same to “darling I’m scared” because America is terrifying right now. The lyrics and vocals are both so strong. this song also reminds me of another song but i can’t put my finger on it yet. at first I thought it was a little gwen stefani(hollaback girl) and then i was thinking cher llyod and then i was like maybe it’s pink(the Truth About Love)? Still can’t think of the song it makes me think of but I’ll figure it out sometime.
8. Paper Rings 30/10 Just kidding that would throw off my scoring but (10/10)
Favorite Lyric: “ I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this”
Favorite Vocals: “ In paper rings in picture frames in dirty dreams”
Overall Thoughts: I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this song. I’ve listened to it 6 times and cried 3 out of the six. This song is so reminiscent of the fearless era to me that it just reminds me of being 15. I feel like I’m 15 again listening to this. it’s like I’m transported back before all the bad shit in my life really started to happen. Then it makes me think about all the teens who are 15 now and getting to experience this song and this feeling and then i cry for 10 minutes lol. I cried typing this.
9. Cornelia Street (10/10)
Favorite Lyric: “We bless the rains on Cornelia Street”
Favorite Vocals:
I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
Overall Thoughts: I was so happy to hear this song! this is the RED type of soundtrack that I spent months wishing for. (im very happy with what we got but red is my favorite album in existence so i’m hoping for more of that some day.) It gives me major RED vibes and reminds me of starlight a little bit. I love the imagery as well. I’ve never been to Cornelia St but i can picture it. I’m transported. MORE OF THIS PLEASE.
10. Death By a Thousand Cuts (10/10)
Favorite Lyric:
“I look through the windows of this love Even though we boarded them up”
Favorite Vocals:
“My heart, my hips, my body, my love Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch”
“Our songs, our films, united we stand Our country, guess it was a lawless land”
Overall Thoughts: I loved it from the first time I heard it and I really love the arrangement of this song. I also just found a quote saying that she wrote it about Someone Great and that makes me love it even more because I’m totally obsessed with that movie. Whenever I have a conversation about Tv with someone, I’m alway like “HAVE YOU WATCHED SOMEONE GREAT????? Why not?/? What are you doing with your life because it’s perfect.” This song is also perfect.
11. London Boy (10/10)
Favorite Lyric:
“They say home is where the heart is But that's not where mine lives”
Favorite Vocals: “ Just wanna be with you Wanna be with you”
Overall Thoughts: This sweet. I know nothing about London geography but I’m rooting for Taylor and her London Boy. Their relationship is adorable and I’m glad they’re happy! This song is gonna be really fun at tour.
12. Soon You’ll Get Better (Featuring the Dixie Chicks) (10/10)
Favorite Heartbreaking Lyric:
“And I hate to make this all about me But who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do If there's no you?”
Favorite Melody:
“I'll paint the kitchen neon, I'll brighten up the sky I know I'll never get it, there's not a day that I won't try”
Overall Thoughts: so many emotions. When we got the Dixie Chicks easter egg, it was the song i was most excited for... until I realized that the song they would be featured on was this one. I was expecting Goodbye Earl and I got Traveling Soilder. OUCH. This breaks my heart and I really hope that Andrea does get better. losing someone is terrible and I’m praying it’s something Taylor and her family don’t have to experience for many many many years. I’m not religious but praying for you.
13. False God (4/10) oww sorry
Favorite Lyric: ?IAMCONFUSION.
Favorite Vocals: the whole thing sounds great.
Overall Thoughts: I don’t really like this song? it’s just kinda meh. it feels jarring to hear after Soon You’ll Get Better and I DON’T GET IT? like it makes me feel dumb. I’ve listened to it 6 times and still don’t know. When I heard it the second time I was like Oh I Forgot That You Existed. Then I was just confused. What is the false god... is it her.. is it new york city, is the love? I don’t know. Why is she singing from the point of view of the city? This song stresses me out which is a really bummer because I love how the vocals sound but then i listen to the lyrics and get frustrated. Also the only song I wanted to skip all six times. I think part of it is just placement though. after soon you’ll get better i’m not in the mood for this especially when I know there are better songs coming up and I want to hear them now. Someone explain this to me if you get it because i’m lost.
14. You Need to Calm Down (10/10)
Favorite Lyric:
“Say it in the street, that's a knock-out But you say it in a Tweet, that's a cop-out”
Favorite Vocals: “Why are you mad when you could be GLAAD? (You could be GLAAD)”
Overall Thoughts: Love it. Such a jam. Loved the music video.
15. Afterglow (10/10)
Favorite Lyric: “Meet me in the afterglow”
Favorite Vocals:
“This ultraviolet morning light below Tells me this love is worth the fight, oh”
Overall Thoughts: I love this. One of my favorites on the album. It’s like a more pop sounding Back to December with a possibility of a positive outcome. Back to December was like i’m sorry i wish i could take it back and this is like I’m sorry can we fix this and meet in the afterglow! Meeting in the afterglow sounds so poetic and light. It brings imagery and peace to my mind and I’m all about it.
16. ME! (Featuring Brendon Urie) (9/10)
Favorite Lyric: “Livin' in winter, I am your summer”
Favorite Vocals:
“I know that I went psycho on the phone I never leave well enough alone And trouble's gonna follow where I go”
Overall Thoughts: I liked Spelling Is FUN. fight me. still gonna yell it at tour. I would have liked a little more complexity in the lyrics though... while keeping spelling is fun.
17. It’s Nice To Have a Friend (9/10)
Favorite Lyric:
“Light pink sky, up on the roof Sun sinks down, no curfew”
Favorite Vocals: the whole song is my favorite vocal because it’s amazing and it sounds great. (I said this like how craig from parks and rec said this is my friend madison she amazing and SHE DROVE ME HERE. it’s very important that you read it like that because that’s how I meant it. IT’S GREAT)
Overall Thoughts: Apparently every one at secret sessions didn’t like this song but I love it. Also saw a couple people describe it as creepy sounding which WHAT? are we listening to the same song??? I think it sounds romantic and gives me the imagery I want. I can picture this love. it’s innocent and wonderful. Very light and very airy sounding. Kinda gives me a Marina vibe which I love. Only complaint is I wish it were longer.
18. Daylight (10/10)
Favorite Lyric:
“I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked Clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke”
Favorite Vocals: I’m living for the entire bridge.
Overall Thoughts: YES YES YES. This should have been track 5 but I also understand having it at the end as a valid choice as well. ALSO SHE MENTIONED RED. okay je suis calme but this song is beautiful and i’m just so happy and so proud of you Taylor. I cried at the end. “You are what you love” I have loved her music since I was 12 and now at 25 it still means so much to me. it’s been a vital part of my life and honestly the only reason i’m alive right now. Thank you.
OVERALL THOUGHTS: if you’re still reading by now bless you because I’m rambling. I truly love this Album. it’s got some solid bops and some beautiful poetic songs. I think my favorite songs so far are
I Forgot that you existed #1BOP
Paper Rings #1emotioninvoking
Daylight #1lyrics
170 out 180 which means that this album is a 9.4 in my opinion!!!!
Taylor if you read this, I love you. Your music means so much to me. It’s gotten me through so much. I really hope your Mom does get better. ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
#taylor swift#lover#lover review#taylor nation#daylight#swiftie#tswizzle#sorry for any typos#lover is amazing#and im living for it#i legit left work early so i could come home and listen to it#which was kinda dumb because my car is falling apart and im broke#but i feel like it was a good decision and im happy with it
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Helping Hand {2}
Prompt: “what are you waiting for?”
Summary: You’re used to helping people and you enjoy doing so. However when a friend asks for something your heart heavily accepts, you find the will to be selfish for once in your life and get what you’ve always wanted- who you want, even if it’s just for a moment.
Pairing: Jungkook×Reader
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut. College!AU. Friends to Lovers!AU
Wordcount: 4.5K
Warning: sex lol ?
A/N: KKSSRY SORRY :( better later than never right ? Anyways here's the second part have a nice day and enjoy! Thank you for the responses on the last one, means alot 💜 I'd like some feed back on this one too if you have time thank you 💜 ps my laptop is acting up so I had to post this on mobile so I can't add 'read more' im so sorry :(
*italics=flashback
1 . 2
You're running so fast down the hall, sneakers squeaking with every pressure of your feet against marbled floor.
Your lungs burn and your eyes sting but it doesn't matter. You can’t stop running, you won’t stop running. Not until you get to him. You need to see him. But are you ready for it though? The realisation dawns on you and you slow down a little, hesitant as your sudden rush of excitement dies down, reality and fear taking its place.
But it’s too late, because as you bump into a broad solid chest and almost fall over only to be rescued by a strong arm encased around your waist that has you looking into deep dark eyes you had begun to miss and longed to look into, a conversation you shared with Mia not too long before resurfaces in your thoughts and you find yourself fisting the fabric of his shirt.
You exhale and inhale deeply, sweaty palms gripping the doorknob as you gulp. All you have to do is get pass this door, into the bathroom and apologize. Easy.
“You can do this Y/N.” You chant again for the nth time and the more you say it the less effective it is. You’ve been standing in front of the toilet door for over 5 minutes. Luckily no-one else has come to use the loo because it'd look weird as hell having you just stand there when you could just walk in. But you’re scared. You’re not sure of what. You've said so yourself that you don't mind what choice she makes, you don’t deserve to ask for more. You're lucky if she even as much says anything to you. But still there’s a churn in your belly that tells you that this is not going to end or proceed as expected.
Shaking your thoughts away you finally push the door open and step into toilet. You find her there, applying her favourite lip gloss through the reflection. You stiffen when her eyes jump to you before she resumes her duty, wiping off some around the edges.The silence is toe curling and so you decide to finally speak; “We need to talk.”
She pauses, squinting her eyes before turning around to face you with her arms crossed, "I know you fucked Jungkook.” Your face reddens as you grip your bag handle tight, lips ajar.
“I’m sorry.” Is all you manage to say and you watch her eyes narrow as she huffs. This is so not like her but maybe if she ended fucking the guy you like after he lowkey rejected you right after your date you wouldn’t be yourself too.
“You know Y/N, I never expected you to be such a whore.” You stumble back slightly at her words, throat going dry. Ouch. “Come on, fucking the guy you knew I liked? You're the last person I expected to do that. I trusted that you would be-useful to me but you ended up stabbing me in the back. I really hate you Y/N.”
“I know what I did is wrong and you don’t have to accept my apology but I'm sorry. I just- I don’t even know."
“It doesn’t matter. I guess I’ll just do things on my own and get Jungkook by myself. You weren’t of any help.” She throws her hair over her shoulder with a sigh as she grabs her bag on the sink and leaving the toilet. Wait. Did she just say... “Mia, you were using me just to get with Jungkook?” you catch up to her, grasping her arm. You don’t care at how she eyes your hold on her with disgust as anger and confusion brews in your being. “Answer me.”
“Yeah. I was. I was using you to get with Jungkook.” She admits annoyed, wiping her arm when you let go of her but you don’t catch that over dramatic display of hatred. Your heart sinks to your feet.
“Mia..." You croak out as your eyes begin to tear up. You thought you lost Mia the night you lost Jungkook, but there was an inkling of hope in you. However now learning this it feels like you’ve lost her, your friend, twice. And it has an ugly twist forming in your belly.
“Don’t act all hurt. I should be the one who is hurt. Y/N, you have no idea how shit you’ve made things for me and Jungkook.” She shakes her head as she clenches her fist and glares at you.
“Mia, I know I fucked up and I’m sorry for sleeping wit-"
“Not that. Even since before.” She scoffs and you furrow your brows. What is she talking about. “Before you and Jungkook met, we were dating for 6 months.” The information settles in slowly, but surely. And soon your small heart is filled with so many overwhelming emotions welling up in you. Jungkook was actually in the longest relationship term you've ever seen him be in before he met you and it was with Mia. You didn't know that. You feel so deceived, Mia said she didn’t know Jungkook and Jungkook pretended not to know her. What happened? What created such a hostile air in between them and what caused they’re break up?
“Suddenly you came around. It was because of you.” She seethes and you’re more confused than ever, did she just answer the questions in your head?
“What do you mean?”
“You. He started caring for you. He literally only knew you for a month and he was so relaxed with you... do you know how hard it was for me to get him to open up to me even just a little? And you had him wrapped around your little finger in one fucking month? Someone like you?” You don’t manage to answer, just looking at the ground as you fiddle with your fingers. It looks like you had done her more wrong than you knew you have. “I got jealous . I mean who wouldn't get jealous? I did, so thought I'd make him jealous too. I fucked his friend.” She says with no remorse but you can tell she wish she had never done it because she obviously would do as much as faking a friendship for months just to get him back.
“And it’s all because of you. You know the moment we had an argument, he ran straight to you? God sometimes I wish you would just disappear. I don’t even know what Jungkook see’s in you to like you that much.” How did she know that Jungkook liked you? You doubt she was standing outside the room when he confessed or that he told her.
“He told me that night at the date.” She confirms and you gape at her. Oh. "He told me to stay away from you because he knows what I'm doing, he said that he won’t forgive me again if anything happens to you, can you believe him? He’s such a prick!” she groans and while she is going through it your heart is fluttering, he talked of you like that?
“He really likes me...” you deadpan, forgetting Mia's presence and it bothered her as she clicks her tongue but you’re not paying attention to her. Jungkook really likes you and you just shut him off.
You’ve apologized to Mia and now that that is out of the way, you need to get things with Jungkook right for once and for all.
“Mia, again I’m sorry. I need to go.” You sincerely say one more time before you zoom off, leaving a stunned Mia standing there.
“Y/N?” Jungkook breathes out, his face barely inches away from yours, your chests pressed flush against each other as you gaze into each others eyes. So many words are being exchanged through a simple look of the eye, words neither of you know how to convey verbally.
“Jungkook, I-" you thoughts get stuck in your throat and you feel your eyes tear up. You were the one who cut him off but you were crying.
“Y/N, what’s wrong?” he furrows his brows, trying to reach up and cup your cheek but you flinch away from his touch, heart breaking when pain flashes across his face at your repulsiveness.
“Sorry,” you push him off you, not looking at him once as you walk away. You heart sinks with every step as the image if Jungkook's shoulder slumping when you walked past him replays in your head.
It feels so wrong but you know it’s right. You’re not ready, not yet. Because all it takes is you crying your heart out to sleep that night for you to wake up feeling fresh and determined.
.
This isn’t good.
The moment you step into the field you freeze in your spot. Maybe the look of defeat and loss on the faces of those who sat at the gold and black benches in contrast to the cheers of those in red and white should have indicated the situation for you but now that you see the score board you realize the initial assumption your tried to push back was right. Your college team is behind by several marks. And this is very unusual.
Your eyes fall to the team members who are clearing the field, on a 10 minute break before the game resumes. Naturally you search for him in the midst of people as you walk past the audience bench to the players area but there’s isn’t a sigh of him. Hesitantly you tap one of the players shoulder, a broad shouldered Seokjin you knew to be a friend of Jungkook's.
“Y/N!” he beams, almost going in for a hug to which you raise a brow at him, eyeing his sweaty figure.
“Sorry,” he sheepishly laughs as he scratches the back of his head, making you chuckle. “What's going on?” you motion towards the score board and Jin sighs, placing his hands on his hips.
“Man, I don’t really know but we're doing pretty shit. Even Jungkook isn’t playing as well as he should be.” Your ears perk at the mention of his name and you clear your throat. “Do you know why?” you ask almost desperate and you wonder if it makes you sadistic to want to be the cause of his apparent distress, frankly you do want to be the reason. Only because you want to be the one to de-stress him.
“No idea. Why?” he teases with a knowing grin and your cheeks flush, “But I think it should be fine. Since you’re here now, our lucky charm. Should've come earlier.” He pats your shoulder and you laughed. There’s this inside joke/myth within the team, that you’re their lucky charm. The college football team didn't really have that great of a reputation but ever since Jungkook took over as captain in the new batch, they have been on a winning streak. And quite coincidentally you’ve been there at every game.
“Come on, you guys work too hard for you to say that I’m the reason you guys win. I just sit there and barely pay attention, football is boring.” You joke and SeokJin raises a brow as he hums.
“Yet still you come here all the time, to watch this ‘boring football’, I wonder why...” He ponders aloud and you pout at him.
“Anyways, since you’re here and we're on break, you should go check up on Jungkook. He's in the locker room at the end corner by himself. I think he'll gain his senses once you guys talk or something.” He begins walking into the locker room and you furrow your brows before you speak. “What makes you think that?”
“I know.” He winks before disappearing into the crowd of his team mates. Ripping your gaze from the group of sullen boys who cheer up when Seokjin begins cracking his dad jokes, you walk towards the opposite direction.
You brace yourself and step into the room. The first thing you notice is that just dark, the lights weren’t switched on and the sun was setting ahead. You walk in further before you find Jungkook, his head hunched over his body as he sat at the bench. He’s is shirtless, a light sheen of sweat over his back that moves up and down with every heave of his breathe. His fists are clenching, unclenching , clenching.
You freeze when he abruptly looks up and turns his head to face you, looking at you with wide eyes that glimmer through the wet bangs that lay over his eyes, some sticking to his forehead. “Y/N?” he says in disbelief, voice hoarse but low, afraid that you’re a figment of his imagination and that even the force of his voice would have you fading away into thin air.
“Hey.” You smile, awkwardly standing there.
“Hi.” He responds and then there is complete silence as you just stare at each other.
“Fuck, you probably think I'm a loser even more now. I didn’t want you to ever see me like this.” He laughs humourlessly, running a hand through his locks in frustration. “No Jungkook, you’re not a loser. And I certainly don’t think that.” You sit down next to him and Jungkook scoffs throwing his head back to rest on the lockers with his eyes shut. You try to keep your eyes on his face, not his ripped body but even that is hard since he looks even hotter now, all sweaty and breathless.
“Yeah right. I’m a fucking excuse for a captain. Can’t even lead my team into winning because i- you know what forget it.” You frown at him, is he dumb? “Jungkook, you’re not a loser. How many times have you guys won huh?” you place a hand over his thighs and Jungkook's eyes shoot open, gaze flickering to where your hands are before he looks up at you.
"Jungkook you’re a great captain. You've brought honour to the college with your team and no-one else could have done it. You're a champion. You can get back there on that field and win it.” You squeeze his thigh and Jungkook stares at you blankly. It’s hard to read his thoughts when he remains so blank and unresponsive. “You know, we can only win if you're there.” He suddenly says, leaning forward and you chuckle at his ridiculousness.
“Well I’m here now aren’t I?”
He turns to face you, his dark eyes locking with yours and the sudden proximity of your faces has your breathe hitching, cheeks prickling. “Y/N, why are you here?” he asks, almost sounding frustrated but you take no offense to it somehow.
“Because ... because I care.” You gulp, finding it hard to form a sentence with his intense gaze on you. “For me or the team.” He questions, head tilted.
“Both. But especially you.” you confess and then there is a long silence as you simply stare at each other.
“You confuse me. You tell me go away and then you tell me this. Why?” he shakes his head as he looks away, running his fingers through his hair again, biceps flexing.
“Because I like you.”
“What?” he whips his head towards you as he shifts in his seat as his cheeks redden. "Why are acting so surprised I literally told you that already.” You roll your eyes at his reaction as you chuckle.
“Yeah but I thought... You know... after that night and when we bumped into each other and you ran away that you didn't feel the same anymore.” He shrugs and you groan in frustration. Why was he making this so hard?
Without warning you push yourself off your seat to straddle his lap and cup his cheek. “I’ll show you okay? How I feel. How you make me feel.” He stares at you wide eyed and surprised but he nods as his hands rest on your hip and waist.
You lean down, capturing his lips in yours. The kiss is sweet from the fruitiness of your gloss and a little salty from the sweat on Jungkook. You take in all of him, fingers trailing down the edges if his torso while the other tugs at the hair in the nape of his neck. His hands slip under your top to fondle your breast and eliciting a deep moan from you that has him tightening his grip on your waist to pull you closer to his chest. You feel his hard cock pressing against your soaking clothed core and you can't help but grind onto him.
“Fuck,” he groans, hips bucking up to met yours. You steal a glance at the digital watch on your wrist. You've got about 6 minutes left. “We need to make this quick, baby.” You pant out, not missing the way Jungkook smirks at the term of endearment as he bites his lips.
You palm him through his pants and he rolls his head back, he hisses when you reach into his tight pants and take out his angry hard cock. "Wait, I don't have a condom on me.” He grabs your wrist to stop him, but you peck the corner of his lips and grin at him.
“I’m on the pill.” He nods and let's go of you, his balls going tight at the thought of being able to fuck you raw with no hindrance and fill you with his cum. He let’s you take control, watching in bliss with hands tight around your waist as you rub his tip against your slick entrance. When you sink down on him both of you gasp. You immediately clench around him but you don’t stop, the drag as he guides you further down while you take in all of him pleasurably painful. It’s intoxicating and it has you catching your breath, nails digging into his shoulders as you start moving. "Oh my god,” you moan jumping on his cock as Jungkook’s fingers hook on the middle of your bra under your top, pulling the fabric down so that your breasts are now free of the constraints, nipples pebbled visible through the natural just shows how aroused you are home your tits bounce and your chest heaves with every thrust.
“Look at you, hopping on my dick like a fucking slut.” He growls as he latches onto your stiff nipples through your top and you shriek, arching your back into his mouth. He chuckles against your jiggling breasts as he moves onto the next, pinching and flicking your free needy buds with his thumb and it has you rolling your head back, the corners of your vision blackening as your high arrives. “Jungkook, baby, I’m so fucking close,” your thrusts are weaker, thighs aching but you are desperate and try to go faster despite your throbbing thighs. Jungkook senses your frustrations through your whines and hooks his hand on your hips, lifting you up and slamming you against his cock, occasionally bucking his hips up to yours.
“Jungkook, I’m going to come oh my god,” you pant as you let him fuck into you and you cry out as you release around him, hips twitching as he continues thrusting his hips up to yours with his brows knitted. "I’m so fucking close.” He grunts, snapping his hips up to you before he spills his warm seeds into you with a growl.
You stay like that for a while, his head on your shoulders and your head on his breathlessly. “I really like you Y/N. Fuck I love you so much.” He confesses into the crook of you neck and pulls you closer to him by your waist. A smile graces your features as you tightened your embrace over his shoulders.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Mia and I earlier. I didn’t think it was important. Sorry.” “It’s fine.” You chuckle with a shrug and he chuckles as well.
“Are you going to pull out or...” You remind as you eyes trail down to where you are still joined and you’re surprised his still intact in you, did he get hard again? "Fuck right,” a tint spreads over Jungkook’s cheeks as he lifts you and stands you up, shoving his dick back into his pants. You try to ignore the outline of an obvious bulge with pursed lips, holding back a laughter. “If you win, we can go for a second round tonight. Maybe more.” You sing song with a shrug as you begin walking out, leaving a wide eyed Jungkook who is getting dressed. A grin slowly spread across his face as he catches up to you.
“Wait,” he holds your hand, pulling you into his chest as he drapes his varsity jacket over your shoulder. You notice he is wearing his gear already. You raise a brow at the action, a bit taken back. Jungkook’s eyes trail down to your chest, where two wet patches lay where your nipples should be. Your cheeks heat up as you recall how Jungkook was sucking on them before this. "Thanks,” you gulp and Jungkook chuckles, taking your hand in his. Just then the door flies open sand Seokjin peeks his head from the door, light pouring in.
“Hey cap, hey Y/N. Hope you guys are done, the games about to start.” He smirks and you roll your eyes. “Right. Um, guess I’ll be going then.” Jungkook grins, unable to control the giddiness he feels and infects your heart too, swelling as he swings your joint hands.
“Good luck Jungkook. Go win it.” You pat his chest. “I don't need luck, I have you here. And a night of just me and you fucking to look forward to.” He quirks a brow with a smug smirk and you smack his chest.
“Whatever. Go.” You usher him out and he laughs, heading for the door. “Oh and Jungkook?” you call out, biting your lips and hugging the jacket closer to your body when he steps out the door. "Yeah?” he leans against the doorframe, arms crossed.
“I love you too.”
Jungkook tilts his head, a grin that makes your heart race spreading across his features as he pushes himself of the door frame. He nods to himself before turning his back on you and walking out.
What was that? You furrow your brows but you don’t pay much mind to it.
They do end up winning the game, and you should've recognised the look Jungkook had earlier sooner. The look of determination and unmatched prowess, the same look he’s giving you now as you’re sprawled beneath him, completely naked while he is half dressed hovering over you with a devilish grin.
“Tired, sweetheart?” he cocks a brow and you quickly shake your head. You don’t care for the ache in between your legs, you want him even more now. “Alright baby girl, on your knees.” He commands and you quickly scramble into position. He takes his place behind you, wet chest pressing into your back while damp hair tickled got ears when he places a kiss on the top of your glowing shoulder.
“Are you ready?” he breathes into your ear, and you eagerly nod, whimpering when he cups your breasts under you roughly to gain a verbal answer from you.
“Yes, fuck Jungkook I want your cock!” you arch your back to press your behind into him, gasping as his twitching member rubs at your entrance. “Such a needy slut for my cock. Even after I’ve fucked you so good so many times just tonight... tsk tsk tsk,” he shake his head and you let out a strangled cry as his hands trail down and pinches your engorged clit, sensitive from previous abuse. But still you buck your hips into his hand, panting as rubs the button of nerves.
“Please, I can never get enough of your cock, I need it. Please fuck me again- oh Fuck.” You throw your head back, immediately clenching around him as he shoves himself in you with ease, gasping with every thrust while you grip the sheets.
From the reflection of his mirror ahead, you feels yourself grow wetter with time at the sight of him pounding into you ruthlessly from behind, lips caught in between his lips with furrowed brows. But from the corner of the mirror image on the reflection, something glimmering catches your attention.
The gold trophy of today’s victory.
A reminder of how you ended up in this situation not that you were complaining at all.
Also a reminder that tomorrow, and for more than a couple days, you might not be able to make it out of bed or even stand on your own two feet. But you don’t mind. You really don’t.
“Fuck,” you grunt as Jungkook strengthens his thrusts, the bed squeaking while you fist the sheets , mind on the edge of sanity again as his cock pounds into you and bumps your g spot.
This is going to be a long long night.
.
How was it ? I hope you all liked it thank you for reading 💜💫
#bangtan#bts#bts angst#bts fluff#bts imagine#bts smut#bts au#bts scenario#bts x reader#jeon jungkook#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#jungkook imagine#jungkook scenario#jungkook smut#jungkook x reader#jungkook au#bts scenarios
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