#good omens fix

[2apples-tall]

Mr. Snake and Mr. Owl

A small kinda funny kinda sweet fic about a class taking refugee from a rainstorm in Aziraphale’s bookshop and Aziraphale having no idea what to do with them

A school trip was all it took to ruin Aziraphale’s day. Well a school trip and a rainstorm. Well a school trip, a rainstorm, and a very overworked teacher who was also having a bad day.

The local elementary school’s 4th grade class was taking a trip to a few museums in the area, all within walking distance, so the teacher took her class through soho to the museums. Until it started to rain and they were all escorted by a very lovely older man into a warm bookshop.

You see Aziraphale, being the angel he is, couldn’t stand seeing those poor kids and that poor teacher get drenched out on the street “Oh no, I insist it is no trouble at all.” He assured the teacher, who informed him her name was Ms. Jones “I’m sure this rain will let up soon”

“Thank you so much, I would run to get some umbrellas but I can’t leave them” Ms. Jones said apologetically, “It’s a small school so there were no other chaperones and I technically didn’t need any for just 10 kids”

The poor girl sounded exhausted so Aziraphale, the angel, got her a nice cup of tea and offered her a seat. This was the particular and exact second things began to go horribly wrong, the kids began…

….I shan’t say it….

pulling the books off the shelves.

Aziraphale did not spend enough time around any sort of children to realize this would happen because kids, especially 9 year olds, we’re very curious.

“Hey mister why don’t these have any pictures?” Said one little boy with snot dripping dangerously close to a first addition of Pride and Prejudice.

“Oh dear,” Aziraphale pulled the book as carefully as he could from the boy’s sticky fingers. “We’ll these books are very old and very uninteresting to you kids, how about…” he paused frantically looking at the books that had already made their way onto the ground. “A magic show!”

“My mommy says magic is devil worship” pipped up a little girl as she flipped haphazardly through a very old and expensive copy of The Invisible Man.

“Right” probably not his best idea anyway.

Ms. Jones, much to Aziraphale’s dismay, was quite proud of her students for taking an interest in the literature at the store and made no efforts to keep them away from books, what kind of teacher would try to STOP kids from reading?

Aziraphale began feeling very un-angelic as he thought of ways to get these kids away from his precious books. Maybe un-angelic is exactly what I need.

Aziraphale opened the door to his back room to find Crowley napping on the sofa. More often than not Aziraphale would walk into this sight and stare, sometimes until Crowley woke up, but there was no time. Very sadly Aziraphale shook the demon’s shoulder until he awoke with a groggy “ngk”

“Good morning dear” Aziraphale beamed down at him

“What’s wrong?” Crowley asked, waking up quicker than he had his whole life. He could practically smell the angels distress.

“We’ll I need you to get some.. people out of the bookshop” Aziraphale said sheepishly

“Why? What’re they doing?” Crowley stood up ready to destroy any human that thought they could mess with his angel’s shop.

“It’s umm just some kids” He admitted quietly

“What”

“It’s a class of kids! They’re going to ruin all my books! I want you to scare them away” Aziraphale crossed his arms looking expectantly at his demon.

“Really angel?” Crowley smiled and shook out his shoulders, slowly slithering down until he was a huge black snake.

Crowley lurked through the shelves until he saw a young girl all pigtails and floral bows. One good scare and the whole class’ll leave

He crept slowly towards her and brushed his scaly side against her ankle, just enough that he expected a scream but instead received gentle fingertips running down his back. She began to pet him.

“Oh what a cute little snake” She crouched to her knees and ran her hands all down his back “Such pretty scales”

Great I got the one little girl in the whole world that actually likes snakes.

Crowley darted back to his sofa and resumed his former shape.

“These kids are tough Angel” Crowley said as nonchalantly as he could after being practically cuddled.

“Please Crowley” Aziraphale gave him that look, that damned look that made Crowley’s knees buckle and head go foggy.

Crowley sauntered out, ready to throw each pesky kid out by the collar if he had to. Or at least that’s what he told himself until the little girl with pigtails looked up at him with tears shining in her eyes.

“Sir did you see where Mr. Snake went? I wanted to be his friend but he ran away”

Dammit.

Crowley kneeled down “You know that um snake is actually a… particularly good friend of mine, and he asked me to tell you erm that he would love to be your friend but his.. owl friend needed him for something very very important” He struggled with the words but thankfully the girl didn’t seem to mind. She just laughed a little and grabbed his shirt sleeve to pull him into the center of the class.

“This guy is funny! And he knows a snake that’s friends with an owl!” She announced

“Ooh” The class gathered around his legs and sat on the floor gazing up at him “Will you tell us about Mr. Snake and Mr. Owl?”

“Oh absolutely” Crowley smiled, he had 6000 years of stories, most, well at least some of them had to be child friendly.

Aziraphale watched, with hearts in his eyes, as Crowley began telling animated stories of the two of them. The children hung onto every word as Crowley spun the tale of Mr. Snake and Mr. Owl as knights, then told them about the pair seeing Shakespeare, then he told about them preforming a spectacular magic show. Aziraphale flushed a bit as Crowley told that last story but he had kept it tame enough. Aziraphale quietly cleaned up all of the books thanking Crowley and God none of them had been damaged.

“Oh look at that, the rain stopped” Ms. Jones said almost sad to leave the warm shop and fun stories “Thank you so much for letting us stay here for the moment and tell your husband he’s an amazing story teller, he should write a novel”

“Oh we’re not, um, I’ll, I will tell him” Aziraphale blushed and stumbled as he opened the door for her.

“Come on kids,” she waited a second while none of them moved. She sighed and called out “Are you ready kids!”

“Aye aye Captain!” 10 tiny voices answered as they quickly lined up behind her.

“Lovely” Ms. Jones counted each head twice then turned again to Aziraphale “Thank you again this was a much better day than I had hoped for”

“Bye bye Mr. Snake, thank you!” Called Pigtails

Crowley chucked and waved at the class as they walked out the door.

“I had no idea you were so good with kids” Aziraphale remarked

“I had no idea you were so rubbish with them” Crowley smirked.

“Well now,”

[fireintheimpala]

I love how the slow but steady output of Good Omens content with book and show seasons has formed whole identifiable eras of GO fic.

Epochs.

I’ve started thinking of them so far as ‘Baroque,’ ‘Classical,’ and ‘Romantic.’

Baroque: pre-show. Elaborate. Ornate. One must work through lengthy convolutions of plot and theme to get their moment of feels. The amount of sheer labor involved can invoke awe.

Classical: post season 1. A renaissance blooms. We can move right to the feels now, however the era is still characterized by a formality and restraint unusual in fic scenes. Restraint only sharpens the emotional blows though. The 10k sonata form of pining through the ages especially shines during this era.

Romantic: Angst to the fore now. We can’t just sit with 6,000 years of pining and pastries anymore, NO, the angst bursts through with cannon blasts, fire and damnation. The Byronesque gloom of Crowley, the weeping Keats of Aziraphale.

Each era offers a unique beauty. Fascinated to ponder where we’ll be several years from now.

[edwardbonnets]

how to ask the demon you've been smitten over for 6000 years to dance: an angel's guide

bonus:

[finleycannotdraw]

we need all types of art in fandoms

[hattersarts]

>>> Risk ineffable husbands, 7 pages

here's a little comic, it's not completely show!gomens compliant but its headcanons i enjoy

comic notes under cut :)

I enjoy Az already realising he likes Crowley by the time Adam appears but hasn't yet worked out what to do with that information bc acts-of-service Crowley Can't Talk, Wont Talk.

Crowley on the other hand has been VERY GOOD at ignoring why he spends so much of his time around Az so only on the crux of YOU'RE GOING TO LOOSE HIM did anything manage to force its way through to his brain. (i did not enjoy crowley being told he was in love with az in s2, i think he could have worked it out himself)

i rly enjoy hcs where they started sleeping together and with humans for fun (i mean the ox ribs scene sets some v good precedent for this) az sleeps with humans bc he indulges! he likes pleasure! crowely on the other hand is very bad at catching feelings and doesnt like it when they die so has mostly only slept with az (did i mention he's VERY good at ignoring his feelings) but they probably haven't slept together for a few hundred years when adam pops up.

my compliant show!hcs are still that az knows he loves crowley (i mean the scene with jim where he leaps out of the chair to attempt to protect crowley saying no he defo doesnt know ANYONE who he feels that way with, don't look closely at anyone he is with) and is just sort of sitting on it still, waiting for any hint from crowley, planning a ball definitely only for humans and no other reason. Crowley is obviously very protective of Az but he still hasn't clicked why he's worried about him but he doesn't have the excuse of heaven or hell anymore so it wouldn't have taken much for him to work it out (hello one of his first lines in s2 is "you ever think, what's the point?" the point is love you idiot)

(book!gomens is just they're already married and have been fucking for centuries but the book just doesnt mention that.)

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

Hey hey hey may 31th anon! How's 2024 going? ☆ヾ(*´▽｀)ﾉ This year I have for you a leaked Sherlock season 5 image. Thinking of you!! And everyone!!

[justsomebirdy]

Ok I’m gonna stop toying with this

My initial idea was Crowley gets so flustered his blush lights up the room hehhe 😈😳

[lilpatison]

“…𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰.”

“𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝙢𝙚, 𝘈𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘭.”

[bluessom1]

Under the awning !

[ravelqueen]

David and Michael's physicality as Crowley and Aziraphale is truly something to behold bc there is not a single shot Crowley isn't lounging or sauntering or creeping or loitering or sprawling everywhere meanwhile Aziraphale seems a lot more contained but it always seems like there is a hundred bees worth of emotional energy right under his skin waiting to burst out and it's actually marvelous really they are so well cast

(Also the fact that both of them look like this 😍😍😍 when the other one is the most them is just a bonus)

[lonicera-caprifolium]

celebratory kisses!! 🌈💕💕💕

(with a few different flags over on twitter!)

[vavoom-sorted-art]

Dtiys Prize: Do it again!

As requested by @zevampirex: A fluffy season 2 fix it kiss, featuring the infamous "Do it again" line. Congrats again!

[ineffablelunatics]

You ever think that Crowley isn’t a bookseller and refuses to even act like one because Aziraphale doesn’t like to sell books? He won’t act like a “bookseller”, because Aziraphale doesn’t like selling books. That’s Aziraphale’s safe place and he doesn’t want to somehow mess it up.

“Are you a bookseller?” “Not even at gunpoint.”

Sitting right across from Aziraphale, he says that he wouldn’t sell books even when he was being threatened. Yes, it’s Crowley being over dramatic, but it’s also a reassurance. He doesn’t even let the books burn in 1941. He didn’t have a choice in 2019. Crowley might not run a bookshop, but he’ll keep it safe. Even if keeping it safe just means not letting anyone buy books from a bookshop

[hg-aneh]

Mr Fell does a partner reveal (finally!)

(Part 2 of this)

[angie-words]

For complaints about no. 7 please address them to a Mr Neil Gaiman (please do not actually do this)

Previous meme dumps!

[astrhae]

+ bonus:

aziraphale not changing crowley's clothes (not even to add a tartan collar)