#good morning i definitely did not spend over an hour talking to myself in the dark about baldurs gate

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im normal

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Faking It | Jeon Jungkook | Chapter Two

Summary: Seeing him again happened sooner than you thought it would but absolutely no one is complaining. Pairing: f!reader (30) x Single Dad Jungkook (33) (Arranged Marriage Slow Burn?) Word Count: 9.8k Warnings: Talking about Jungkook's wife who passed away in childbirth (Doesn't talk about her death but yeah) a/n: Took me three months but we're finally here 😭 And if any of you saw me post this and delete it...no you didn't. I posted it on my reblogs account on accident so sorry if that teased you a bit 😅 Anyways I hope this was worth the wait 😭 p.s. I only read through this once when I completed it so have mercy on me if there are typos

I wake up naturally this morning and it's honestly one of the best feelings in my opinion. Not having to worry about being woken up out of a sound sleep shows me that it's going to be a good day.

As I yawn and rub the sleep out of my eyes I hear my phone vibrate on my nightstand, telling me I have a new message. I roll over and reach for it lazily to check and when I read the sender's name I immediately shoot up, causing Salem to dart off the bed. "Sorry Salem" I call after him but then when I go back to read the message my heart is already beating out of my chest.

'Good morning y/n I hope you slept well. How are you?' a simple yet inviting message from the man I just met last night. Who knew waking up to good morning texts would still feel this good at the ripe age of thirty?

'Good morning Jungkook! I slept like a baby, best sleep I've gotten in a while actually. I just woke up so, so far so good. How are you? How's Juni? Did you guys sleep alright?' I send and at a second glance I can see how completely whipped I am for this man already. Why am I rambling on and on about sleep? I could've just said 'I slept well, I hope you did as well' or something like that.

'That's good, I'm glad to hear! Juni and I slept alright. She actually only woke up an hour ago which is unheard of since she's usually knocking on my door at six am. She's been talking about you since she woke up' he sends back and my heart flutters, loving that I've made that big of an impression on her already.

I check the time and see that it's already nine am which is a record time for me to sleep as well since I'm usually up by seven most days. Then again it's not everyday that you get to spend the night with a man like him...

Wait! That's not what I meant!

'She can't stop talking about going shopping for butterflies so I wanted to see if we could set up a time soon. Maybe this weekend if you're free?' he suggests and I have to restrain myself from kicking my feet, just thinking about this man asking to see me again, disguised by his daughter wanting to get butterfly decorations for her room.

'This weekend sounds perfect! I'm free tomorrow as well so either day is fine' I offer up and face palm, scolding myself for being too eager. 'Tomorrow sounds great! Should we meet around eleven? Juni and I would love to take you out to lunch if you'd like. You know, to thank you for the help' he sends and I can't help but think that maybe he's a little nervous too.

'Eleven it is! Should I meet you guys there? There's a shop that I'm sure Juni will love and it'll definitely have what we're looking for!' I send and I can see the bubbles popping up to show that he's typing but they go up and down a couple more times. He'll type for a little and then stop and type again and I can only hope that I didn't say something wrong in suggesting where to go.

When a few minutes go by I decide it's best to get out of bed and get a cup of coffee. That'll wake up my brain a little more and help me hopefully not make as much of a fool of myself while texting him.

I find Salem perched on top of his cat tree, still a little jumpy from me having scared him but I think it's made him playful more than anything as I watch his tail flick back and forth while he watches me walk up to him.

"I'm sorry for scaring you" I apologize again, scratching his between his ears but when I feel my phone vibrating over and over in my hand I jump again making him climb down off his cat tree and scurry under the couch. I sigh and scold myself as a result before taking a look at my phone, seeing an incoming call from Jungkook.

I almost drop it after reading his name but catch and answer before I end up dropping it.

"Hello?" I ask, slightly out of breath from the scare but try to hide it as best as I can. "Hi pretty lady!" I hear Juni call out in the distance, the phone no doubt on speaker phone. "Good morning Juni! How are you little one?" I ask, feeling more at ease talking to her first and my question awards me with a little giggle before she continues.

"I'm good! Daddy says we're going to a special store to pick out the butterflies for my room! Is that right?" she asks, clear excitement laced all throughout her tone. "Yes that's right Juni we are! Does that sound alright to you?" I ask and I can clearly hear how she's jumping from excitement from how punctuated her voice sounds now as she chants "Yes" over and over again.

"I wish we could go right now!" she says, her excitement too difficult to contain at the moment which makes me smile knowing that she wants to go right away. 

"Patience Juni, tomorrow isn't too far away" I hear Jungkook's voice coming through now and it makes my breath hitch, forgetting the fact that he had been there all along. He wasn't kidding when he said that Juni grabs everyone's attention right away. Given the chance I'm sure she would've talked to me for hours if her dad hadn't reminded her.

"That's right Juni, only one more sleep until tomorrow" I say and I can hear a little gasp from the other side. "Does that mean I can go to sleep right now and then we can go?" she asks, not understanding the concept entirely.

"Not unless you want to sleep for twenty four hours silly" he says and I hear a fit of giggles that could only mean that he might've tickled her but after a few seconds it's calmed down.

"How long is twenty four hours?" she asks, a constant roulette of questions gearing up if he doesn't answer this question correctly.

"You know how you woke up yesterday, went to school, came home, played with your toys, got ready, went to meet Ms. y/n, came back home, went to bed and woke up this morning?" he lists off and I can tell she's probably nodded her head all throughout his explanation.

"Yes?" she responds in a questioning tone, waiting for him to get to the point. "Well that's how long twenty four hours is" he responds and I hear jumping again once he's finished before an excited Juni calls out. "Does that mean we get to go see Ms. y/n again when I get home from school?" she asks and my heart melts at her excitement.

"Juni, we're seeing her tomorrow remember. I'm sure Ms. y/n is very busy tonight" he says and I hear a sad "Oh" from her and I contemplate my next words carefully before going for it. "Juni, would it be okay if I talked to your Daddy for a second?" I ask and I can hear her let out a disheartened 'Okay' before Jungkook takes the phone off speaker.

"Hey y/n, sorry she's a little hyper this morning" he says and I smile at his efforts to apologize for Juni's adorable disposition. "No that's okay, I love talking to her! She's a cutie" I say and he hums, "Try living with her" he counters and I smile, knowing that her excitable attitude might get a little tiring sometimes.

"I wanted to ask you if you would like to do something today after Juni gets home from school? Maybe meet you at the park? I forgot to give you Juni's dress last night after I washed it. I have to go back to my parent's house to pick it up anyway and theres a park around the corner. It's your call though. I don't want to go against what you told her" I say, rambling off nervously again but this time over the phone instead of texting and I regret ever offering it in the first place.

Why am I so freaking awkward?

"You sure you don't mind? I could always just get it from you tomorrow? I don't want to inconvenience you or anything" he says, giving me a chance to back out but not saying no to me, giving me a vote of confidence. "I wouldn't have offered if I minded" I say with a smile in my tone and he takes another second to think before giving me his response.

"She gets off at three, does that work for you or should we meet up later?" he asks and my heart skips a beat, knowing that I'll get to see him again so soon. "That sounds great, you can meet me at my parent's house if you'd like? The park isn't too far away so we can leave our cars and walk there" I offer and he takes a couple of seconds to think again before saying anything else.

"Juni, do you wanna go see Ms. y/n after school?" he asks and I can hear her little feet running around this time and repeating her response of ceaseless Yes's again. "Well I guess we'll see you later then. I can bring some food for us to take to the park if you'd like?" he offers and I shake my head before remembering that thankfully he can't see me in my sleepy state.

"No that's okay I got it covered. You already said you guys are taking me to lunch tomorrow so the least I could do is bring us food to share at the park today. Plus, I'm the one who suggested it in the first place" I explain and he chuckles before agreeing.

"Alright, thank you y/n. Should we show up around four then?" he asks, giving them time to make their way over after picking her up from school. "Four sounds perfect, I'll see you then!" I say and he calls Juni over to say goodbye. "Bye Pretty Lady! See you after school!" she giggles. 

I swear I'm never going to tire of her excitable disposition.

"Goodbye Juni! Have a good day and listen to your teachers okay?" and I can hear a faint 'I will' in the background, no doubt from her running off to do something. "Thanks again y/n, I know she's going to be so excited to see you today...we both are" he adds at the end and my heart skips at his confession. "Me too" I say quietly and we finish up our goodbye's before quickly hanging up.

I slowly walk over to the couch as to not scare Salem this time, grab the pillow next to me, put it over my face and scream into it. Although I tried to muffle it I still end up scaring him making him run off to my room, no doubt planning to be wary of me for the rest of the day but that's okay.

I get to see them again, I get to see him again.

I really hope I'm not wrong about thinking that there might actually be something between us already, something about this just feels right. I don't want to rush into this too quickly though since we don't really know much about each other. I want to take things slow and hopefully he does too.

Well...I hope he'll want to take things further but you never know, a man like him is sure to have a lot of options, right? I just don't want to set myself up for heartbreak. Gotta keep it together and not get too vulnerable with him, even if it feels like I should. 

I've already let him in a little, and he's definetly let me in a lot with letting me spend so much time with his daughter but I don't know, I guess only time will tell what's going to happen between us.

If there's going to be an 'us'.

~~~~~

The day drags on as I unconsciously count down the hours until I get to see them again but it seems as though time is standing still.

I've spent most of my day editing the pictures I took for a family friend's wedding since that's usually how I get my clients these days. I know someone who knows someone who needs a photographer and my rates are pretty fairly priced so they tend to hire me.

Going through picture after picture and seeing how happy they look together makes me wonder what it would be like to be truly happy with someone like this. Be so openly and obviously in love that no one can say otherwise.

As time ticks by though my mind wanders off until I realize I only have about an hour to get ready before I have to meet them.

"Shit!" I say aloud and get up to hopefully make myself look presentable enough, luckily I took a shower this morning so we're all set on that front. I still need to figure out something for us to eat while at the park though and if I had paid attention to the time it would've been a brilliant idea.

The only option I have left is to phone a friend.

"Y/n? Is something wrong?" my mom asks, the call on speakerphone while I try to fix my hair. "Well depends on if you can help me or not" I say and I hear her sigh. "Please tell me you didn't end up in jail" she says and I scoff at her obviously sarcastic remarks.

"Very funny mom, but for your information no I did not end up in jail. This is seriously something I need help with though. Are you busy right now?" I ask, hoping and praying her answer is no. "No I'm pretty much free for the rest of the day, why?" she responds and I let out a huge sigh before responding.

"Good! Can you do me a favor and throw together a picnic lunch for three? Well...two and a half" I ask, not wanting to give up who it's for but by her gasp I can tell she already knows. "Are you and Jungkook seeing each other again already?" she asks, and I can tell her eyes are as wide as saucers with her hand over her mouth, her reactions being the same since I was a child.

"Yes" I say, giving a one worded response leaving me turning down the volume on my phone when I hear her squealing. "This is incredible! See I knew you two would hit it off! I can hear the church bells ringing already" she says, jumping to conclusions as she always does.

"Mom can you please get the food ready for me?" I plead, going back to the topic at hand while putting some makeup on, nothing too crazy but not wanting to over or under compensate. "Yes yes of course. Leave it to me!" and before I can say another word she's hanging up the phone. "Well that was easy" I say to myself before going to my closet to pick out what to wear.

As I'm flipping through my options I see Salem come out of the darkness, scaring me half to death leaving me scoffing seconds later, realizing he's given me a taste of my own medicine "Okay I guess I deserved that one huh?" I say to him and he meows in response.

"Okay Salem this one, or this one" I say, placing my options in front of him and he sniffs both before swatting at the one he's chosen. "You don't think a sun dress is too much?" I ask and he meows almost as if he was telling me to trust him and so I laugh and give in.

"I hope Juni likes it" I mumble to myself, quickly throwing it on and rushing to finish getting ready. A few minutes later I'm giving Salem a couple tummy rubs like I always do and rushing out the door, praying that I'll get there on time.

The drive to my parent's house seems like it's taking ten times longer than usual and I'm constantly glancing at the clock, making sure that I won't be late but thankfully I get there with plenty of time to spare.

"Hurry up they'll be here any minute!" my mom says, practically having babysat the door to make sure I arrive first. "Nice to see you too" I mumble, never getting a proper hello from her anymore. "The basket is on the table and I put a blanket in there as well" she says rushing me over to where she's put it and it's at that moment she finally notices my appearance.

"You really like him don't you?" she ask, smugness laced in her tone as her efforts of matchmaking are slowly succeeding. "No! Yes...I don't know" I deny but I backtrack immediately since I really do like him. "I haven't been interested in anyone in years and so I don't want to try too hard but I don't know" I somewhat admit to myself, as well my mom that I'm really starting to warm up to the idea of being with someone again.

"It's okay love, he hasn't been with anyone in a really long time either" she says and I furrow my brow, "How do you know that?".

"Well Mrs. Jeon and I were talking about it last night and it seems like ever since his wife died he's been really closed off to love or the idea of dating again. He's tried a few times but they never went beyond a second or third date" she relays and I nod my head, distracting myself with looking through all of the things she had placed in the basket. 

I try not to let any expression spread across my face since I don't know how to feel. I don't want to say I'm happy that things didn't work out between him and another woman but it's also sad to think about how Jungkook might've felt when his wife passed in such a traumatic way.

"Thank you for telling me but I think I should start learning more about him when he feels comfortable talking to me about it. It's only fair right? I'm sure he hasn't asked too much about me and my past so I guess shouldn't either" I say and walk into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"But he has" she says when my mouth is full making me spit it into the sink that was thankfully right in front of me. "He what?" I cough, trying to compose myself as I learn this tidbit of information. "He has asked about you. In fact I was on the phone with her right before you got here" I grab a paper towel to dab off whatever water I have left on me but before I'm able to respond we hear the doorbell ringing.

"I'll get it" she say knowingly, giving me another second to calm down before I have to face him. I take a few deep breaths, fix my hair and check my reflection as best as I can in the smudged steel finish on the fridge while listening to my mother greet them at the door.

While Jungkook and my mother exchange a few words I peek around the corner and notice Juni slightly tugging on my mom's pant leg. "Excuse me but where's the pretty lady?" she asks and I have to hold back the coos I want to let out so badly, my heart already a puddle at the sight of her pleading eyes wanting to see me.

"Why don't you go look for her?" she says and when Jungkook looks up his eyes meet mine immediately for just a second but long enough to know my cover is blown. I duck back into the kitchen to hide, convincing myself that he didn't see me when he clearly did. 

"Go on" he says softly when Juni no doubt looks up at him for approval and my mother follows behind her as Juni walks in the completely opposite direction from where I am, my mom trailing behind her, giving no hints and letting her explore on her own.

I assume that Jungkook follows them but when I hear what sound like his footsteps get closer and not further away I tiptoe my way into the pantry, completely mortified that I know now for a fact that he caught me staring at them.

I close the door almost all the way and ten seconds later I watch as his form passes by the little crack in the doorway and I hold my breath as if that might help but there's only one way in and one way out of this kitchen and both him and I know that.

Why did I even hide? What was I thinking? Way to start things off on the right foot.

While I'm busy scolding myself I forget to pay attention and stumble back when he opens the door. "Got ya" he chuckles and I clear my throat, "Yeah I uh, I guess you did" I say, trying to lean back against one of the shelves, stumbling over a box instead but quickly recovering.

"Why are you hiding?" he chuckles, leaning up against the door frame and crossing his arms making me look down and notice how one of them is completely covered in tattoos. I had never specifically been attracted to tattoos before but on him...

I lose track of what he had said and only realize I had left a lull in the conversation when he clears his throat. "Oh I-" I start off but when I hear my mother and Juni's voices in the other room I grab his shirt and pull him in, making him stumble inside, closing the door right away.

It's only when he hits the switch to turn the light on that I realize what I had done.

"I-" I try to apologize but when I look up at him I notice that there's something in the way he's looking at me that I have never seen before, making my words die in my throat. We stand there for what feels like hours but had only been mere moments just observing each other, watching those small changes of expressions and I start to feel dizzy under his gaze. 

The tension between us clear and building but it's only when he opens his mouth to say something that the door is thrown open and we're met with a squeal from Juni. She runs into the closet and grabs onto Jungkook's leg making him stumble forward and as a result pins me against the shelf, his hands resting on either side of me.

It's like the universe is playing some sort of sick and twisted joke on us, constantly putting us in situations like these and yet we had only just become reacquainted with each other last night. 

"I found you!" Juni squeals again, giggles as her cries of victory and she soon pulls on Jungkook's leg to try and separate us. 

"Daddy I wanna play with the pretty lady" Juni pouts and in her efforts of trying to pull him off of me he actually loses his footing and stumbles, our bodies fully flush against each other now, his face just inches away from mine. 

I blink up at him and he does the same to me, both of us frozen and not really knowing what to do. It's only when my mother chimes in and asks Juni to come with her to get a snack that that little bubble that had formed around us had been popped.

"I...sorry... I uh, tripped...you know...with Juni and everything" he says, fumbling his words like a school boy, taking a few steps back to be at a respectful distance again. "Yeah no it's fine. I um, I shouldn't have pulled you in here in the first place" I admit and he smirks, remembering the point that lead us up to the little predicament we're in. 

"Why did you pull me in here?" he smiles, glancing over at where my mom has Juni plopped down on the kitchen counter with a popsicle in her hand. "I take hide and seek very seriously" I explain, me being the one crossing my arms now and he chuckles at my lame excuse for my actions but accepts it anyways. 

"Right" he says and offers me a hand to lead me out which I reluctantly accept.

"Mom she'll spoil her dinner" I say, scolding her with Juni just lost in the flavor and sheer size of it. To be fair it looks adorable in her little hands. "It's alright, a little sugar won't hurt her. Plus we're still going to the park right?" he asks and I look at him and nod. "Right" I agree and lift Juni off the counter to set her on her feet. 

"Hi Miss y/n" she says with a bright smile with her lips and tongue stained a bright shade of red from the cherry flavor. "Hi Juni" I say and fix her little sun dress that she's wearing, it's almost as if we had planned to match and when she notices me straightening out her dress she look at mine and also notices the similarity right away. 

"Look Daddy! Miss y/n and I are matching!" she says with the toothiest grin I've ever seen, her front two teeth standing out just a little bit more making it another cute little trait she shares with her father. Although who knows if she'll keep that once she starts losing her teeth I think to myself and quickly fix her hair as well since it's gotten a bit ruffled in the excitement of it all. 

"That's right baby, you both look so beautiful" he says making my heart skip a beat. When I look over at him he's giving me a similar adoring look he gave Juni just moments ago making it even harder for me to not melt into a puddle. 

I'm beginning to notice that these two really know how to tug on a person's heartstrings, it's almost as if it were as easy as breathing and that's something that's gonna take a while to get used to. 

"Can we go to the park now, please?" Juni asks, her eyes going back and forth between the two of us and when I look over at Jungkook he nods. "Sure, are you ready?" I ask, turning back to Juni and she jumps up and down and chants 'Yes' over and over again like she had done this morning on the phone. 

"Alright let's go" I say and with one hand clutching her popsicle for dear life she uses the other one to grab mine and drag me towards the front door. 

"Juni be careful" Jungkook scolds but I turn back towards him and assure him not to worry and I can see how he relaxes at that. She's a little bouncing ball of sunshine, emphasis on the bouncing since she can hardly sit still most of the time unless she's eating, and even then she's dancing around and smiling happily. I swear if this girl gets any sweeter I'm gonna start getting a toothache.

I let go of Juni's hand while my mother entertains her so we can make sure we have everything before we head out and when I try to turn around to grab my cardigan Jungkooks already grabbing it and holding it out to help me put it on. "Oh! I can-" "I know" he cuts me off but doesn't make any moves to give it to me so I turn my back to him and let him do as he pleases, sliding it up my arms and over my shoulders.

He runs his hands down my arms, no doubt as an excuse to smooth it all out but it causes a slight shiver to run through my system and he let's go, surprised at the reaction. 

"You sure you're gonna be warm enough?" he asks, a hint of amusement laced in his tone making my cheeks heat up but I nod my head and quickly rush over to the table where the basket is so I don't have to face him but he takes it from me as soon as my fingers brush the handle, making our hands touch. 

"I can carry that" I counter and he shakes his head, "No I'll carry it, someone's gotta hold Juni's hand while we walk there" he says, clearly delegating our respective duties and I smile and nod again. "Deal" and at that we're out the door. 

~~~~

"Higher Daddy higher!" Juni squeals while Jungkook pushes her on the swing, his arms no doubt getting a little tired since she's been on it for the past ten minutes now and I can see he's losing momentum with every push. 

"Daddy's tired Juni. Can you swing on your own now? You know, just like I taught you" he suggests and she thinks about it for a second before saying a quick 'Okay' and clumsily moving her legs back and forth to keep the momentum going.

I smile as I watch Jungkook stumble over towards where I've been sitting on the blanket and watching them, adoring their father daughter relationship. "You're so good with her" I praise when he sits down and hand him a cold water bottle which he accepts right away and downs half of it. 

"You think so?" he asks, always unsure of himself but I couldn't think of a more perfect father than him. "I know so. She's lucky to have a loving devoted father like you" I say and he smiles softly, grabing one of the strawberries that my mother had packed for us. 

"You flatter me" he says, a slight blush blooming on his cheeks making me feel almost smitten with him. "It's the truth" I reenforcing what I've said and he shakes his head, finishing off the fruit in his mouth.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm not enough, you know? Like there's only so much I could give her" he says and I can tell from how his body language has changed that he's really thinking about how he wishes her mother could be here for her too.

"What was her name?" I ask and he looks at me curiously, not knowing that I'm on the same page as him yet. "Your wife, what was her name?" I say tentatively but when he registers it I quickly backtrack. "I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me that. I just figured that you might've been well..." I trail off and we sit there in silence watching Juni swing back and forth, back and forth until he decides to speak up. 

"Julie" he says softly, as if it had been years since he had spoken it. "Her name was Julie" he says softly and when I look over at him I can see the melancholy expression he's trying to hide. "That's a beautiful name, did you want Juni's name to sound similar to her's?" I ask, not wanting to make this conversation go dark but knowing that talking about her might cheer him up.

"Well, kinda. We wanted something that combined both of our names. It's silly, I know" he mumbles getting bashful about it. "It's not silly, it's wonderful to see in a way that both you and Juni are still carrying her with you everyday. It's a beautiful way to pay tribute to her" I reassure him and he smiles at me, mouthing a silent thank you. 

"I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have pried" I apologize again, seeing that it still has him feeling down. "No it's okay, it's nice to talk about her every once in a while. Thank you, for that" him now reassuring me and I nod, both of us left in silence for a while before Juni runs up to us. 

"Daddy what's wrong?" she asks, seeing the clearly deflated Jungkook as she gets closer and it's good to see that instead of brushing it off like it's nothing he doesn't hesitate to tell her how he's feeling. "I'm just a little sad, Ms. y/n and I were just talking about Mommy" he explains and she gets almost a look of understanding which is surprising for someone of her age. 

"Please don't be sad Daddy, remember you said Mommy is always watching over us right?" she say, giving him the talk that he's clearly had with her a time or two. "Right" he say, brightening up just a bit. "And she wouldn't want to see us sad when we think about her right?" she continues, an slightly stern tone creeping up which makes both Jungkook and I smile. "Right" he echos again and she nods her head in agreement. 

"You always tell me to look in the mirror and touch my nose, and my ears and my lips and everything else that you say reminds you of her and you tell me that she'll always be right here with me. So that means when I'm here with you she's here too right?" she asks again and he chuckles. 

"When did you get so smart?" he says, grabbing her and starts tickling her, making her squirm all over the place and when he finally has mercy on her and she catches her breath she answers, "Well I am turning five soon" she says matter-o-factly and I can't help but chuckle at that. "Oh right, how could I forget" he over exaggerates  and she giggles, grabbing his shoulder before leaning in to whisper something. 

"Daddy can we show the pretty lady a picture of Mommy?" she says almost at full volume leaving him flinching back. It's adorable how she still hasn't figured out this whole whispering thing. "Sure baby" he obliges and pulls out his phone, picking out one and handing it to her so she can show it to me. 

She surprises me by plopping down in my lap and putting the phone way too close to my face. "This is my Mommy, her name is Julie" she says proudly and my heart can't help but ache thinking this is the only way she's known her mother. "She's beautiful Juni" I say, putting my hand on top of her hand that's holding the phone and pulling it back so I can see the picture properly. 

"You really do have your mom's nose" I chuckle when I notice the same curved button nose they share leaving me booping her's and making her smile. She scrolls through a couple more photos giving me little bits of commentary that no doubt Jungkook has told her as she grew up and it's when I hear the soft click of a camera that I look back up at him. 

"Sorry, it was too perfect not to" he says, seemly enjoying watching the two of us and I can't help the way my heart skips a beat making me shy all over again. "Can we take some more pictures?" Juni asks, wrapping her little arms around my neck and squishing my face against her's leaving me laughing at how adorable this all is. 

Jungkook obliges and we take picture after picture after picture together until Juni is satisfied and has run off to play again. 

"I didn't even know that you brought that" I say, watching as he fiddles around with the camera, flipping through the photos he just took. "It was on the table right behind the basket" he explains and now that I think about it I do remember seeing the corner of a camera bag sitting next to it. 

He smiles as he looks at the pictures and I lean over to catch a glance at them but he pulls it back out of my reach. "Hey!" I chuckle and she shakes his head. "Not until they're edited" he refuses and I scoff. 

"You're not actually going to edit them are you?" I say, nervous at the thought of him spending hours looking at those pictures. "Why wouldn't I?" he asks as if I had said something confusing. "Well I mean, aren't you busy with work? I doubt you would want to take extra time out of your day to play around with them" I explain and he smiles. 

"Let me take a few more and then I'll let you see them" he says, angling his body so he's facing me. "Did you want me to call Juni back?" I ask but when I try he stops me with another click and I look back at him confused. "I meant of just you" he says simply but I can tell he feels a bit bashful from the way he's started to hide behind the camera. 

"I'm not used to being the one in front of the camera" I say, trying to figure out exactly how to pose but he chuckles and puts the camera down a little to take a good look at me. "I don't see why not, you're beautiful" he says casually as if those words hadn't sent my heart into overdrive. "I-" I start but the words just don't come out, especially when he places the camera down and leans in closer. 

He takes my hand and places it on the blanket so I can lean on it, places the other in my lap, angles my shoulders slightly away from him and takes my chin and softly tilts my head up, making the sunlight peer down on my face through the leaves of the tree we're under. 

"Just relax" he says, acting as if I could possibly relax after he had his hands all over me, posing me just how he wanted. 

I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths to clear my head and once I start to get that sense of serenity I hear a few soft clicks from his camera, taking picture after picture, him adjusting my pose by hand every time. 

"Daddy!" is the next thing we hear after who knows how long with the sight of Juni running over to us all covered in mud. "Is this your daughter?" a woman who is clearly out of breath says while trailing after Juni. 

"Juni what happened?" I chuckle, seeing that she's as happy as can be with a few smudges of dirt on her face and her dress all muddy. "Her and my son were playing over there and I guess he convinced her to jump in the mud and well..." she says, motioning towards Juni where I'm trying to clean her off as best as I can. 

"I hope she didn't cause you any trouble" Jungkook says, now feeling a bit guilty about the situation since he had taken his eye off her for a second. 

"No, not at all. If anything I should be apologizing for my son. I swear we look away for one second and he's as dirty as can be" she chuckles, finally close to catching her breath. 

"Can you tell the nice lady thank you for bringing you back?" Jungkook tells Juni and she does as she's told and I can see that she has just about as much of an affect on this mom as she does with me. If Jungkook's not careful she can use her cuteness for mass destruction if left unchecked. 

We hear a boy calling out for his mom that looks just like the woman in front of us now with no doubt her husband trailing after him. "Mom, Dad says it's time to go home" he says, his state twice as bad as Juni's. What is it with kids these days and mud? I chuckle to myself and when the boy notices Jungkook and I with Juni he gets a little shy. 

"Oh, hello" he says before he goes and hides behind his mother's leg, "Oh so now you wanna be shy?" his dad teases and snatches him out from his hiding space and whispers no doubt an encouragement for him to apologize. 

"I'm sorry for getting her all dirty. She was just really nice and I wanted to have fun with her" he mumbles and I can see hints of pink peeking through the streaks of dirt on his cheeks just like Juni. 

What did I say? Weapon of mass destruction.

"It's okay sweetie, I'm just glad you had fun" I say, brushing off his apology and when he looks up at me now I can see that his blush deepens and opts to hide behind his Dad's leg this time. "Alright well say goodbye" his mom says and he mumbles a quiet goodbye and gives Juni a shy wave compared to hers being one to match her outgoing and bubbly self.

"Can we play again tomorrow?" Juni asks him and he looks up at his parents for approval. "We usually come here around this time everyday after school so you just have to ask your Mommy and Daddy if you can come again" she says and when I try to deny her claims Jungkook jumps in before I can get a word out. "We'll be here" he says and Juni smiles so wide. 

"See you tomorrow!" she calls out to them and the trio waves goodbye one last time before heading to their car. 

"Mommy and Daddy?" I turn to Jungkook while Juni is busy doing a little happy dance before taking a drink of her juice box. "Well I um, I guess they couldn't help but think we're her parents so it felt best to not correct them" he says while rubbing the back of his neck, his cheeks dusted a light shade of pink just like the little boy's were when he was looking at Juni. 

"Right, and when they say something tomorrow?" I tease and he clears his throat, no doubt not thinking this whole thing through. "Well I guess there's no harm in faking it?" he says and now I'm the one that's nervous.

"Faking it? You mean you want me to pretend to be Juni's mom? Why?" I ask, flustered by the thought of it. "I'm sorry I guess I didn't think about how you might feel about it. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable" he apologizes but I rush to explain myself.

"I'm not uncomfortable I'm just shocked that you would want to go along with something like that to keep up appearances for people that we hardly know" I say, trying to figure out where his head is at. "Sorry that was a stupid suggestion we don't have to do it if you don't want to" he says and I shake my head.

"I mean I want to, but do you? I mean what about Juni? What's she gonna think?" I ask and watch as she chases a butterfly that has caught her eye. "We can just tell her we're playing pretend" he says and I raise a brow at him. 

"That's the best you got?" I ask and he chuckles nervously. It's funny to see that a tall, strong, handsome man like him is getting so shy about this but I'll play along, I just don't want to confuse Juni. 

"Juni can you come here for a second?" Jungkook calls and she turns and runs over to us right away, looking between the two of us since we're both looking at her with no doubt some very strange expressions. "You like to play pretend right?" he asks and she brightens up at the thought, "It's my favorite thing to do!" she says, twirling around in her very adorable muddy dress. 

"How would you feel if we started playing pretend with Ms. y/n?" he asks and she gets even more excited and does her little chanting of 'Yes' over and over again, a very adorable habit of hers. 

"So this is what we're gonna do, whenever we're out and about with Ms. y/n we're going to pretend like we're a family. You'll be the Baby, I'll be the Daddy and Ms. y/n will be the Mommy, does that sound alright to you?" he asks and she giggles and looks between the two of us, clearly loving the idea. 

"Yes let's do it!" she says, fully confident in her playing pretend skillset. "Alright Juni but there's one little rule" he says and she come in close, knowing that this part is probably a secret. "You can't call her Mommy in front of her parents or grandma and grandpa, got it?" he says and I fully agree with him, we don't need to get their hopes up when we still don't know exactly what we are. 

"Got it! Mommy?" she asks, getting my attention and trying on the name for size and I answer to it right away, somehow feeling almost natural already. "Yes Juni?" I ask, and she looks over at the playground for a second before looking back over at me. "Can I go play for just a little while  longer?" she asks, holding her hands together and giving me the cutest puppy dog eyes I've ever seen. 

"Go ahead" I say and she giggles and rushes off to run around just for a little while longer just like she said. "It suits you" Jungkook says and I look over at him curiously, "What does?" I ask with a tilt of my head. "You being a mom" he says and the words die in my throat. I've always been told I'd be a good mother when the time came but hearing it from him after what we just agreed to do just...

"Thank you" I say, my heart squeezing in a painful but also grateful way and he gives me a smile before he places his hand on my waist for a second to solidify his sincerity before walking a bit closer to the playground to watch Juni. 

I decide to start packing up the stuff we had brought and by the time Juni is dragging her feet back over to me and completely out of breath I've got everything ready to go. "You tired?" I ask and she nods her head, her blinks getting lazy as a clear sign that it's time for bed. 

"Why don't I carry her home...I mean back to my mom's house" I correct myself quickly but I can tell he liked the sound of what I had said, my implication being completely different from what he had imagined. "It's alright, I can carry her, we've got one pretty dress all muddy so I don't think we need another one" he chuckles. 

I pause for a second and pull out the picnic blanket we brought and hold it against myself before picking her up. "Problem solved" I say and he can't help but smile at my solution and quickly takes Juni's shoes off and wipes her feet clean as best as he can before taking the end of the blanket and  tucking it all up so she's practically wrapped up like a burrito. 

"You sure you can cary her? She can get a bit heavy when she's sleepy like this, especially since we've gotta walk for a little bit" he offers and I assure him I'm fine. "What kind of mother would I be if I couldn't carry my child home?" I tease and his eyes widen, clearly having forgotten the little game we're playing.

"How dare I doubt your capabilities as a mother" he chuckles and picks up our stuff, motioning for me to lead the way.

A few minutes go by and we're left in a comfortable silence on our way back to my parent's house and when I decide to speak up he does the same. "I-" "Tha-", "Sorry you go first" "No that's okay you go first" and we toss it back and forth a few more times before he hits me with the age old "Ladies first".

"Thank you for coming tonight and letting me spend some more time with Juni...well and you of course" I say sheepishly and he smiles. "I would hope you like spending time with me since you are my wife after all" he teases and now we've switched personalities. "You know, I think you're getting a little too comfortable with this already" I say and he smiles, playing with his lip piercing that I somehow only noticed right now, the silver glistening from the street lights.

There's so many things I haven't noticed about him yet, or even know about him but somehow everything seems so easy. 

"I mean can you blame me? You fit right in with Juni and I. Honestly better than I thought you would" he mumbles the last part to himself and I have to try my absolute hardest not to literally fall for him. I'm holding his daughter so I would one thousand percent say that now is not the time. 

"What?" I ask, needing clarification but he doesn't give. "Oh nothing" he smiles and picks up the pace, leaving me trailing behind him and right when I go to say something else Juni flinches leaving me slowing down and soothing her back to sleep. "Your Daddy is crazy, you know that?" I whisper to her as if she could hear me but the need to say something was too great. 

A minute or two later we're walking up to my mom's house and I twist my body to give him access to the small purse I brought with us and let him fish out the keys to open the door. 

When my mom hears us come in she goes to give us a no doubt overly exaggerated welcome home but as soon as she sees a very sleepy Juni in my arms she cuts herself off and switches to a hushed tone. 

"Looks like you all had fun" she chuckles and caresses Juni's head for a second, checking to see if she's really asleep and she very much is. "Maybe a little too much fun" Jungkook chuckles, seeing my mother slowly realize how dirty Juni had gotten. 

"She's a cheeky one isn't she?" my mom smiles lovingly and I can't help but wish this whole mom thing with Juni was real. "She is indeed" Jungkook agrees, and hands my mother the picnic basket. 

"Thank you so much for letting me steal your daughter today" Jungkook teases and I can tell that she absolutely loves this. "Honestly you can keep her. I hardly see her anyways" she says, giving Jungkook permission as well as sending a jab my way. 

"Mom" I groan and the both of them smile as if they delighted in my embarrassment. "I just might" he says softly while looking over at me and I can see my mom picking out the wedding venue as we speak, meanwhile I'm wrestling with myself to stay calm. 

We agreed to fake this relationship which means that everything he says is fake...right? I need to separate the real from the delusion but he unfortunately isn't making this any easier.

We say our final goodbyes to my mom and she watches until we walk up to Jungkook's car, no doubt still watching behind the curtain of one of our front windows, spying on us as if her life depended on it. I try to ignore it though because how we end tonight is really important to me. 

"Can I ask you something?" I say after he finishes putting Juni in the car, him closing his car door and walking me over to my car just a few feet away. "Anything" he says while ushering me toward it with a hand on my waist, a slight sign of protection since it's gotten a lot darker than we both realized. 

"When you said I fit in better than you thought I would...and that you might keep me, was that a part of this whole faking it thing we have going?" I ask, wanting to have an open line of communication with him. We're not shy teenagers anymore so as adults I feel like this is something really important to establish. 

"Do you want it to be?" he asks, standing in front of me while I lean against my car door. It still very much being locked as a very clear sign that I don't want this to end. "I mean we just met and..." I say, trailing off because I don't really know what I want. All I know is I like him. I really really like him and his daughter has got me wrapped around her cute little finger. 

"I know, we can take this slow. If this whole husband/wife thing is too much for you we don't have to do it" he offers and I shake my head, "No, no I want to. I just don't want the lines to get too blurry" I explain and he nods his head and leans his hand against the car right next to where I'm standing. 

"Blurry lines aren't a problem for me when it comes to you, it's your call though" he says and if my heart wasn't already racing it surely would've been now. I look up at him and hold my breath when he gets closer my eyes not leaving his and when he lean down I close my eyes, giving into whatever he wants to do to me. 

"Goodnight" he whispers, his warm breath fanning my neck making me lose my sense of reality for a second, wanting to lose myself in him without abandon. I can hardly breathe let alone think straight and he chuckles at that, standing up straight and ghosting his fingers along my jaw before stepping aside, a clear sign for me to get into my car and when I fumble with my keys he takes them and unlocks it and opens the door for me.

I sit down inside and look up at him, indulging myself for a few more seconds. When he hands me my keys he makes our hands touch only for a moment before saying a soft 'Drive safe'. 

When he closes the door for me I finally let out that breath I had desperately been holding back, watching as he walks back to his car with his little Juni still sound asleep.

I watch him pull out of the driveway and decide that even the way he drives is irresistible, giving me a small wave before he goes and while I'm lost in thought I almost jump out of my skin when I hear my phone ringing and my mom's name pops up.

"Mom I really can't talk right now" I say, putting her on speakerphone and starting to car. "Do not give me that y/n I am your mother and set you up with this man so tell me what is going on" she says and I sigh, checking all my mirrors and heading out as well just seconds later. 

"To be honest mom I don't even know. He's showing me very very clear signs that he's interested in me but I can't really say much of anything else at this point" I admit, the realization that the state of our relationship is anything but normal. 

"We just met last night and things are progressing fast, like really fast" I sigh, stopping at a red light, thankfully giving me a second to think. "Well I'd say this is all a good sign. I mean you're both in your thirties honey so adult relationships can progress a lot faster than when you're younger. He's a man that clearly knows what he wants and he wants you. So go for it" she encourages and I take it all in. 

"You're biased because you're my mother and would love to have his parents as your in-laws" I say and she scoffs. "Yes but that's not the point. You would be a fool if you let a man like him walk out of your life" she scolds and I know she's right. 

"I'll do my best to keep an open mind. But please don't talk to his mom yet, or at least not tonight. I don't need both of you losing sleep over this" I warn her but I know she'll do as she pleases no matter what. "You know I can't do that, but I'll do my best" she says and that is the biggest lie she's ever told but I'm not surprised since we dangled this whole thing right in front of her face. 

"You called her already didn't you?" I sigh and she chuckles. "As soon as I closed the door" she admits and I sigh, not the slightest bit surprised. "Alright mom well I gotta go but we'll talk again soon" I say, pulling into my parking spot and turning off the car. 

"Okay well keep me updated" she says and I can't help but roll my eyes. "Between you and Mrs. Jeon I'm sure you can keep each other in the loop" I say, putting my keys in the lock and closing the door behind me when I step into my apartment. "But I gotta go alright, I'll talk to you later" I say once again and hang up as soon as she says goodbye.

"Hi Salem" I sigh, watching as he jumps down from his cat tree and stretches before walking up to me, rubbing against my leg before walking over to his food bowl, clearly requesting the very late dinner I'm giving him. "I'm sorry boy, I guess I gotta get you one of those timed feeders now from the looks of it" I apologize and give him his food right away. 

I put a couple treats into his bowl as well as an apology and make my way back to my room to jump in the shower and think about everything that happened today. 

Jungkook basically admitted that he wants to get to know me better because he clearly feels like he can see a future between us and to be honest I pretty much feel the same way. It could be that we've caught a severe case of puppy love but I think we both know that this could potentially go somewhere. 

I love spending time with him and Juni, granted this is only the second time we've spent time together but still I can't get over the fact of how natural it all felt. Then he goes and pulls this whole pretend to be married business and now he's telling me he doesn't mind if the lines are blurred between us. 

This is all way too much for one day but I can't deny that I'm not enjoying the journey. This is progressing a whole lot faster than I thought it would but that doesn't necessarily mean that's a bad thing. I guess we've both got a whole lot of learning to do. 

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[soobnny]

don’t be a stranger — han jisung.

trope. friends to lovers. college au. u live in the same apartment floor. fluff. part 2 to meet odd.

synopsis. you really need to stop meeting han jisung under odd circumstances or alternatively, i accidentally locked myself out of my apartment and you’re offering that i sleep at yours for the night?

word count. 4.3k words

warnings. mentions of that sex-addict neighbor from the first part, mentions of killing bees, and i think nothing after that except for a few curse words

note. this can definitely stand alone but for it to make more sense, read the first fic here! i’ve finally decided to write a part 2 after popular demand, i hope this was ok!

A lot has changed since that night at the rundown convenience store with Han Jisung.

For one, your shared neighbor had moved out after the person living in front of her finally had enough of her. Guess they had more courage to confront the problem than you and Jisung combined.

This meant that the solace of your dorm was finally yours again, and you couldn’t be happier for the return of silence and comfort. Since then, you’ve officially said goodbye to Seungmin’s couch and your noise canceling headphones.

And Jisung.

With no reason to leave your dorm at ungodly hours in the morning anymore, the chances of seeing each other grew significantly low until you were back to small “hi”s and “hello”s.

Sadly, letting go of that neighbor had apparently been a package deal with lesser opportunities to talk to Jisung too.

You hate to admit your disappointment in your lack of interaction after that night. While only a month has gone by, that’s still 30 whole days without that shift in your interaction that you thought you’d bear witness to. That night you’d spent with him was a moment you enjoyed and cherished, and you would’ve hoped he felt the same way.

Similarly, Jisung’s been dejected at the lack of you in his life. He bares no shame in admitting that he had, not once, not even twice, but tried multiple times to gather enough courage to knock at your door just to ask you how you’ve been and if you’d like to hangout with him again — sometimes with a tub of ice cream, sometimes with a cup of coffee he had made for you prior.

Like today.

Han Jisung finds his fist ghosting over your door, hot cup of coffee in hand. Knock, just knock on their door, it’s not that hard. Why is it so hard for him?

He stands there for 2 minutes, studying every fragment of wood on your door.

In that time, he overthinks his actions — do you even drink coffee? Maybe the cup he had prepared wasn’t your preference? He should’ve just gotten the same brand of ice cream you shared that night. Did you want to talk to him again?

Cursing to himself, he trashes the cup yet again after having fallen prisoner to his social awkwardness.

Han Jisung has always had trouble making any type of first move. Truthfully, he was only ever able to gather enough courage to ask you out on that walk because the glint in your eyes was so bright after having laughed with him over your shared situation.

And maybe because he was a little sleep-deprived and you looked really pretty sitting next to him, and you were talking to him like you’ve known each other forever.

Something so humanizing tends to bring people together in weird ways, and that’s what had happened that night.

Now, however, with no reason to spend time with you, Jisung has trouble wondering if you had the same eagerness to talk to him again.

Do male leads in romantic comedies also have a hard time talking like he does? He supposes he could always ask Changbin even if he’d be teased and laughed at in good spirit.

Han Jisung would brave through it if it meant getting useful advice to speak to you again.

For now, with the trashed coffee cup, he retreats back to his own room.

Perhaps he could try again tomorrow.

Jisung recognizes your voice just as the elevator doors open.

He had just gotten back to your apartment after another late night session at the gym with Changbin and Chan — it was their only shared time together, so workouts were always scheduled at night.

With a gym bag slung over his shoulder, he’s about to turn the corner to where your rooms are when he hears you.

Your voice has always been recognizable to him, but this time something else was laced with the way you’re speaking. It isn’t hard to place it as stress, which makes the boy peek in curiosity and concern.

“Seungmin, pick up. Seungmin, pick up. Seungmin! Thank god. Are you at your dorm right now?”

There’s muffled sounds at the end of the line, but your stress seems to grow more and more as the conversation continues. It’s evident in the way your grip tightens around your phone, and you’re pacing back and forth hurriedly, and the way your hand repeatedly moves to run through your hair.

Turns out, Seungmin isn’t at his dorm. He’s gone home for the long weekend, but he tells you Jeongin might be there.

He’ll have to get back to you on that in a couple hours though because Jeongin has a night lecture, and Seungmin can only contact him after that.

Maybe you could kill a few hours in the main lobby – it wasn’t like you were new to that.

Hanging up, you jump back when you see Jisung standing at the end of the hallway, waving shyly at you and bowing in apology.

“Sorry, I must’ve looked like a creep just standing there. I didn’t wanna disrupt the conversation by passing by… I swear, I’m not a creep.”

With a boyish smile, he continues. “I purposefully didn’t pass by because it felt serious. Just in case I ruin the mood by passing by.”

You laugh. “No, it’s okay. You just scared me. How have you been, Jisung?”

Jisung.

He wants you to call him Hannie again.

Still, despite the downgrade in nicknames, he thanks Whomever is Above for the opportunity to talk to you again, even if it was just for a few minutes outside your apartment room.

“I’m great! Just got back from the gym.” He gestures at his bag abashedly, biting down at his lips to control his overenthusiastic tone when talking to you before looking back at you. “Though, I should really ask how you are. You sounded pretty stressed just now.”

“Ah, I was being silly and accidentally locked myself out of my apartment. And I can’t get the spare key from the landlord until tomorrow at earliest. And Seungmin isn’t at his apartment right now, so it’s a whole disaster.”

It’s easy to talk to Jisung about your problems. You feel the same sentiment that nothing ever sounds crazy to Jisung, and it certainly helps that you’ve been through hell and back together trying to survive your previously shared neighbor.

Being locked out of your apartment was basically nothing in comparison to sharing ice cream at the main lobby because your neighbor enjoys having really loud sex.

On the other hand, Jisung has his own conflict in his head.

He’s going over whether it was appropriate or not to invite you over. He could feel his heart pounding straight out of his chest, similar to how it feels when his knuckles are ghosting over your door in attempt of a knock.

“Well… if you really had no other option. You know, my apartment’s just there. And open… for you to stay at, if you want. If you really had no other option, since it’ll be more convenient to you. I’m sorry, is this weird? I’m sorry, forget I said anything.”

Han Jisung is stuttering over his words as he speaks to you, but you think you get the gist of what he’s trying to offer. “No, it’s okay! I wouldn’t wanna make you feel uncomfortable since it’s your space.”

You think he’s feeling pressured to offer since you had shared your problem with him, but you don’t know he’s more than willing to help you out. While Jisung prefers his solitude, he thinks a change of pace for the night wouldn’t hurt.

“I wouldn’t be uncomfortable at all. Actually, maybe YOU would feel uncomfortable, but if you aren’t then it’s really fine!” Then, it’s that boyish smile again and the shy scratching of the nape of his neck and the gentle rock back and forth.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! Positive!”

He ushers you towards his door, repeatedly telling you that it was no problem for him. And just when he’s about to let you in, he falters.

“Oh… actually.” Jisung remains standing in front of his door, unmoving, hand with his keys hovering over the doorknob. “Can you give me a minute?”

“Uh, sure!” You smile at him sweetly, and then he pushes his key into the keyhole, angling the door just enough so you can’t see anything before slipping into his room.

And then a string of curses follows, and a few stumbling?

His footsteps are loud as he rushes around his room, picking up every piece of clothing and dunking them into his laundry bin. His heart drops to his stomach when he catches his boxers lying on the ground, thankful he had come to his senses before letting you come in blindly.

Close one.

With the wrappers of food thrown out and his dirty clothes back in the hamper, Jisung feels more comfortable letting you in. Reopening the door again, he peeks out to check if you’re still there. “Hi.”

“Hi.” You tilt your head, smiling at the sheer cuteness of Han Jisung and his poked out head from the door and the small ‘hi’ he had addressed to you paired with the cutest smile that accentuates his round cheeks.

“It might be a little messy right now, I hope you don’t mind.” He pouts, opening the door enough to let you in, hands behind his back as he scans your reaction nervously.

His apartment space wasn’t any different than yours, probably the same size, but the way he had decorated his living space was so potently Han Jisung – like a room captured directly from his image. It’s not the neatest, but by all means, it wasn’t messy at all. It was a little chaotic in the way it’s decorated, and there’s a whole mini studio setup in the corner of his room, but it all felt like he had taken a piece of his home and brought it with him in this apartment.

What’s even more adorable is the obviousness of the rushed cleaning that had happened minutes prior. You can see some random things poorly hidden around the house, but you’re too busy feeling flustered to think about it much.

“Oh, it looks so home-y. It feels very you.”

A familiar heat climbs onto Jisung’s features at the compliment that slips out of your mouth so easily, and he suddenly feels more proud of his decorating.

He hadn’t always been the most confident in his living space, only inviting his closest friends over because his place was always deemed the most messy of them all possibly due to his chaotic decorating (and because he liked to keep his things lying around where it’s easier to access – to his downfall as he always forgets where he had put his things later on).

But, the small genuine compliment from you had lifted his worries and now he feels he should invite his friends more often.

“Do you want some water? I’ll get you a glass.” As he navigates through the kitchen, you politely settle yourself on his couch and continue to look around at the artwork littering his walls. It’s signed “Hwang Hyunjin” at the bottom, and they’re absolutely beautiful.

Sounds familiar, you think.

“What did you eat for dinner?”

You snap out of your reverie at his question.

“Actually… I haven’t eaten dinner yet.”

“What?” He rushes over to you with the glass of water, looking at you with wide eyes. All you can do is smile at him sheepishly. “You haven’t eaten yet? Why? Were you busy today?”

“I was probably just gonna eat some instant ramen when I arrived.”

Although he does the same, he can’t help but scold you. “Eat your meals well, you have to eat a lot. Come on, I’ll order us some food.”

“Do you have any recommendations?” You scoot closer to where he’s seated, peeking at his phone as he scrolls through food applications to order for you.

“Hmm.. if you mix seaweed soup in rice and have it with radish kimchi, it’ll fill you up well.” He thinks with a lot of consideration, running over all the options that could replenish your hunger, and ultimately deciding on what he’s been loving lately.

“Let’s have that then.”

You nod your head, and move to return the empty glass of water in his kitchen. Jisung instantly misses your warmth from when you were inches beside him on the couch.

You’re driving him insane.

You drive him a little more insane when you don’t return from the kitchen right away. He makes his way to where you’re standing, but it seems that you’re staring at nothing in particular. With the empty glass on the counter, Jisung doesn’t understand why you’re just staring at the wall in horror.

“(Name)? What’s wrong?”

Your head snaps to the direction of Jisung’s voice. He’s looking at you with curiosity, and you can feel the heat radiating from your face. “I just realized I don’t have any clothes with me.”

“Oh! Don’t worry. You can just wear some of mine.”

Fuck, you feel so embarrassed, but Jisung is making it seem like it’s nothing – like he’s doing you a simple favor, and not the complexity entangled in staying at his for the night. Comfort is unknowingly wrapped around you in everything that Han Jisung does.

“Okay, I laid out some clothes in the bathroom. Just there.” He points at a door before directing his eyes back at you. “You can go take a shower if you’d like, while we wait for the food.”

You nod, thanking him again, but he simply brushes you off with that bright smile. He even hands you an extra toothbrush from his cabinets.

Jisung doesn’t know how he acted so nonchalant while lending you his clothes, because right now, as you emerge from the bathroom with a towel in hand, drying your hair, he feels like he’s about to explode at the sight of you in his clothes.

He knows his face is fully red right now. There’s no way to fight in, not when his shirt and sweatpants were practically swallowing you whole. He feels something akin to when you had messily eaten your ice cream on the walk back home from the convenience store, and he finds himself mumbling to himself. “Cute.”

“How do I look?” You laugh, flailing your limbs around to show the excess of material moving past your feet, and how his sleeves are down to your elbows. Before he has the chance to stutter over his own words in an attempt of a compliment, his phone begins to buzz.

“Must be the food.” He says, and you move to help him grab the takeout containers from outside. Settling them on the table, you move to grab your wallet from your bag.

Jisung blames it on his exhaustion from the gym, but a schoolboy giggle escapes him before he can hold it back the moment he spots the keychain he had won you a month ago still attached to your wallet.

“Don’t worry. I’ve already paid.” He moves to shove your wallet back down from your bag, and he feels himself physically malfunction when you pout up at him. “That’s not fair. Next time, I’m paying, okay?”

Next time.

Han Jisung cannot count the number of times you have made his heart do a backflip.

Over dinner, you talk about a multitude of topics – never running out of things to say. You realize it’s always been like this with him. You always have a lot to talk about, and you don’t feel scared or nervous to talk about anything.

Similarly, Jisung’s feeling giddy at how he feels he can tell you anything, so he does. He likes the laughter and giggles he elicits from you everytime he tells you a funny story. He also likes your efforts to pitch in with your own stories, feeling lucky you’re entrusting him with pieces of your life like that.

“Actually, in 6th grade, I was kind of a bully. I was kind of mean… but I was only mean because there was this girl who was SUPER mean to Seungmin so I had to get back at her.”

“Hmm?” He pushes you to continue your story, looking at you attentively as he chews on his food, following along your every word.

“So what I would do is, I’d step on bees right. I’m so sorry to the bees, I was young and naive. But, I stepped on them and I’d pick them up and put them in a plastic bag, right?” You smile mischievously, recounting the story in your head.

“Don’t tell me.” Jisung dramatically gasps, pointing a chopstick at you.

“Oh, but I did. I put the plastic bag in her locker! Yeah, I was kind of a psycho.”

He laughs, the wholehearted, head thrown back, thigh slapping kind of laugh as he looks at you in disbelief. But your story warms him – to know that even when you were still so young, you had already gone through extreme lengths to protect the people close to you.

In exchange for your story, he tells his own too. He recounts a story of when he had eaten spicy yuptteok without realizing it.

“I learned about the spiciness of life that day. Now, I’m scared of spicy food.”

He allows himself a quick glance at you from time to time whenever the familiar sound of a throaty laughter is bubbling from you, just before he finishes his story. Nothing feels more accomplishing than your genuine reactions and opinions to his stories.

You listen to him. You listen to every single word without fail.

You still listen an hour later while you’re seated on the couch, exchanging stories with each other.

Though, it’s interrupted for a moment when your phone begins to ring, and Seungmin’s face pops up on the screen. He must have an update on Jeongin already as it had been hours past the last time you had ringed him.

Swiping the call button, you answer with the intent to tell him that your living situation for the night has been solved.

“Jeongin’s at the dorm now, if you’re not already sleeping outside your apartment door.” Seungmin is so unserious in the way he says this so nonchalantly, like he has no remorse if you were out on the streets.

You know better though.

“It’s alright. I’ve sorted it out! Thanks again Seungmo.”

“Oh? Where are you staying? Is it safe?” His concern peeks out just a little bit at your words, and he proceeds to tell you it really isn’t a problem if you crashed at their dorms again. Besides, you could sleep on his bed this time, instead of that couch you hate so much.

Seungmin makes another mental note to replace his couch the next time you lock yourself out of your apartment.

“It’s safe, so don’t worry.”

“I’m not worrying.”

“Sure you aren’t.” You giggle.

Then, he hangs up.

You wonder what Seungmin would say if he found out you were at Jisung’s — not that you could ever willingly admit that out loud without stuttering and blushing an intense amount. He’d definitely say something stupid, so you’re almost thankful he doesn’t push at the topic of where you’re staying too much.

You value that he trusts you.

The rest of the night, you and Jisung stay on the couch, unmoving from your positions. Sometimes, you’d chat about stupid things, sometimes you’d scroll through Youtube videos on his laptop – pranks gone wrong, puppies, banned commercials, random videos from years ago.

He’s convinced he could talk all night just to make you keep laughing, and everytime you do laugh, he’s hit with just how beautiful you are, and he feels his heart explode every single time. He can certainly get used to that sound.

It feels so easy with you. Talking, laughing, everything feels so easy with you to the point where it’s scary. What was going to happen after tonight? Would you go back to merely acknowledging each other in the hallways? Would it take another odd circumstance to cross your paths again? Would you stop directing your laughter to his stories? Would all of that have to disappear again?

“Jisung? You okay there?” He blinks out of his own thoughts, looking at you intently before realizing the video you had been viewing had long ended and he was simply staring at a blank screen.

“Just thinking about those poor bees.” He lies straight through his teeth.

“You are so mean.” You hit him playfully, and he grabs your elbow before you can hit him again, laughing down at you. His breath hitches at the sudden close proximity, and he’s letting out nervous coughs while extracting his hand back to himself.

And then you yawn, and Han Jisung feels himself melt into a puddle.

“We should probably head to bed. Take my bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.” He helps you up from the couch, ghosting his arm on the small of your back in case you stumble in your sleepiness.

“It’s your apartment, I can’t kick you out of your bed like that.” You shake your head, planting your feet on the ground so he can’t move you.

“It’s really fine.”

“You’re not changing my mind, Han Jisung. Plus, you couldn’t possibly fit comfortably on this tiny couch. I’d fit right in.”

He sighs in defeat, mumbling a ‘fine’ which makes you grin.

“Let me get you some pillows and a blanket.”

The moment feels strangely intimate as he carefully places some of his pillows and a warm comforter on the couch to make sure you’re comfortable for the night. His eyes are slightly droopy from the exhaustion, but he’s determined in his task.

Han Jisung has definitely taken firm root in your heart, and you hope he stays around in your life forever.

“Do you need anything else?” He had taken it upon himself to tuck you in, and he feels the same suffocating feeling on his chest when you smile up at him in thanks, accompanied by a shake of your head.

He thinks he has a good idea what this feeling is.

“Okay. Goodnight.” Your heart just about melts in your chest at his words. You’ve never heard him speak so softly before with his eyes a little hooded and a gentle smile on his face, with his heart on his sleeve like that for you.

“Goodnight, Hannie.”

Jisung turns off the lights and almost falls when retreating to his own room at the mention of your old nickname for him. It’s a shame you can’t see the lovesick smile he has on his face while regaining his balance.

You don’t recognize where you are at first when you wake up.

When the sunlight hits your face enough to pull your eyelids open, you’re thinking – this definitely doesn;t look like my room.

Stirring slightly, a yawn leaves your lips as you sit up to try and process everything that had transpired the night before. When you remember Jisung and his gentle smile and his crinkled eyes, you almost fall off the couch.

“Good morning!” Your eyes meet his cheery ones, drinking in the details of his features; messy hair that suggests he’s also just gotten out of bed, slightly puffy eyes, clothes from the night prior.

“Good morning.” You peel yourself off of the comforter, walking with him to the kitchen to drink a glass of water.

“How was your sleep last night? Hopefully it’s better than sleeping on your friend’s couch?”

He remembers, and something about that has you biting back a goofy smile this early in the morning.

“It was great. Thanks again for letting me sleep here for the night.” He simply nods his head, eyes still trained on you.

Han Jisung is acting a little strange this morning. While he’s normally this bright and active, it feels like it’s being amplified. He keeps looking at you, in every little thing that you do, and then he looks away when you try to catch his gaze. It feels like he wants to say something, even until you’re bidding him goodbye and thanking him again.

“I’ll return your clothes once I get it in the laundry.” You smile, and he nods his head, but he’s still tapping his foot on the ground excessively fast, bouncing on his feet and walking with you to accompany you outside.

“We seriously have to stop meeting under these weird circumstances.”

Laughing to try and cover up the fact that he can barely pay attention to what you’re saying, he opens the door for you. But can he really allow you to slip through his fingers again?

“Maybe we can meet again soon… tomorrow? For coffee? Under more normal circumstances?” Jisung tries to sound as casual as he possibly can. If you knew better, you’d know he was feeling his most nervous right now – even more nervous than when he had to pass a demo for his classes.

To his luck, you don’t notice the nervous quiver in his voice.

You stop in your tracks at his words, turning to look at him with a smile. The poor boy is falling deeper and deeper, and it’s definitely too late to pull him back up now.

“I’d like that.” You bite down at your lips, glancing up at him with a slight hesitation.

And then you kiss his cheek, and Han Jisung would throw himself out of his window if he could at this moment, running down the streets and screaming in victory.

Instead, he places his hand on his cheek, mouth slightly agape as he stares at your retreating figure.

“Don’t be a stranger, Han Jisung!”

He won’t be.

You’ve reminded him again and again that life and love is here for him to live it, and that’s exactly what he’s going to do.

Starting tomorrow. With coffee. And hopefully another kiss on the cheek by the end of the day.

[ros3ybabe]

Daily Check-in: May 20, 2024 🎀

omg it'd almost the end of May, what the heck? I'm so excited, I leave to Colorado for my 8 weeks of work very soon and I can't wait! it's going to be such a cool experience being in a new place for a while!

Monday was a good day. My dad and my boyfriend both think I overdid it on the physical exertion a bit, and I agree. I took a long walk, outside, in 95 degree heat, with no sunscreen. Which is why they said I overdid it because my chest and shoulders are sooooo sunburnt. But Monday was amazing! Started off strong, ended not as strong but still good!

🩷 What I Accomplished:

~13k+ steps for the day

took an hour and a half long walk outside(it was amazing, I loved it, I stayed hydrated ans soaked up all the sunlight and fresh air)

completed a 30 min beginner pilates workout from Move with Nicole

did my morning journaling and gratitude

wrote down a positive quote of the day and read through my journal where I wrote down some things that I want to read daily

read and "annotated" 14 pages of Atomic Habits

took a 20 minute power nap

worked a ~6.5 hour shift

drank at least ~80oz of water (that's pretty good given I used to drink like 20oz a day and wonder why I never felt good)

took my two medications + vitamin D supplement

took a cool shower and washed my hair at the end of the day

went to sleep early!

💞 Good Things That Happened

my friend and a supervisor im close with complimented my appearance in a way that gave me a confidence/motivational boost

my other friend and I decided we're probably getting our nails done together next week

that same friend ^ and I are going to go shopping next week as well

my work is going to schedule me where I can still go to brunch with my dad on Friday!

my man starts his first day of work on Tuesday (I'm so excited for him! It's gonna suck not being able to text him all day, but I'm so proud of him for getting this job and all the progress he's made)

got complimented on how efficient I was at work by the night shift supervisor

ate goods that made me happy without feeling guilty or anxiety about it

💔 What Could've Gone Better

I over ate a bit at night after work and felt kind of bloated and sick when I went to bed. it's okay tho, things happen, and Tuesday is a new day <3

super sunburnt!!!! my chest and shoulders are bright, bright red! and I'm a naturally pretty tan person, so seeing my skin that red, yep, I'm definitely super burnt! need to wear sunscreen and protective clothes when I take a shorter walk on tuesday

I definitely overdid it on that walk. got too overzealous and pushed myself a lot. my legs were hurting so bad by the end of the day and that's not good. as much as I enjoyed the walk, I need to be so much more kinder to and thoughtful of my body. it does a lot for me, and I need to treat it right <3

💗 Stuff For Tuesday

take a shorter walk outside in the morning

read more of Atomic Habits (and annotate)

begin studying Spanish some more (fell off the habit but I have a lesson next Tuesday the 28th, so I need to be prepared!)

do some gentle morning and night skincare (my face is a little red from yesterday but not too bad since I wore a hat during my walk)

do my morning beginner pilates and gratitude journaling (I've already done these as of right now, but I struggled with the so-called "beginner" pilates video from IsaWelly. practice makes perfect, tho so I've got to keep consistent!)

book nail appointments with my friend for next week (hopefully the nail tech/nail salon I go to has availability for her and I to go together! I also need to pick the design i want!)

budget for this upcoming paycheck and what I need to save vs what I'm going to spend (and need to buy)

work a ~5 hour shift

talk to my man over video call at the end of the day to see how work/training went for him (it's his first day of work, but it's a hands on training kind of day for him as well)

💕 Song of The Day: aespa - Supernova

what an absolutely amazing song omg. aespa literally never misses with their music. I almost put Spicy, but I've been obsessed with Supernove since it dropped. I love it so much <3

That's all for Monday, like I said, it was a beautiful start to the week for me! And here's to Tuesday being a good day as well <3 I hope everyone here has a wonderful beginning of their week!

til next time lovelies 🩷

[vivalas-vega]

new perspectives / jake ‘hangman’ seresin x reader / part three

things are happening !!!! jupiter meets the gang !!! things are starting to line up but I just hope they can make it work...

drops of jupiter is literally her and jake’s song, I don’t make the rules I just enforce ‘em. as always lmk what you think and if you want to be added to the taglist!

new perspectives / jake ‘hangman’ seresin x reader / part three

add yourself to my taglist

prologue - one - two

word count: 4.4k

warnings: language, drinking, a smidge of jealousy, a very cheesy moment at the piano but I could not help myself

The days were passing by in a blur, a monotonous blend of the same thing day after day… You were fighting to stay focused but a few days of mild cases and routine patients had you double and triple checking each chart before entering a room to make sure you were keeping everybody straight. You were officially entering the lull period of your residency where attendings gave you a long leash and let you take the lead, and you were even getting out of work at a decent hour which allowed you to start up a workplace romance with the hospital's forensic pathologist. You’d met him in the bar a few weeks ago and he didn’t take offense to the fact that you didn’t call him by his name, which was Blake, but rather Dr. Death, and he simply thought it was cute when you said he was the reaper and forced him back down to the basement anytime he tried to visit you during the day for fear his energy would affect your patients and send them circling down the drain. At first you’d tried to find something wrong with him, like really truly searched for red flags but there just weren’t any. 

He was supportive and encouraging, definitely wasn’t hard on the eyes, and was endlessly understanding of your work schedule because he endured the same difficulties. You’d sneak out of the hospital late at night and go to that 24 hour diner a few blocks away where you would load up on fries and milkshakes, meet for lunch over soggy cafeteria pizza and surprise each other with a cup of coffee when you could. He waited until the third date to take you home and for some reason you’d hoped he would be terrible in bed because then at least you would have a reason to call the whole thing off but he wasn’t and all of your friends got along with him if they overlooked the fact that you were slumming it with a basement dweller… a fact that never went unchecked by either of you with the reminder that he did in fact go to medical school like the rest of you. 

He was good, and you were seemingly happy yet you couldn’t really figure out why you hadn’t told Jake about him… you’d been seeing each other for two months now (you wouldn’t go far as to say you were in a relationship yet) and it was something you had chosen to leave out of every facetime or phone call. It just never felt like the right moment, talking about your dating lives was really the only thing you two struggled with, it always felt awkward and in a way you felt like you were cheating on Jake. Logically you knew you weren’t, logically you knew (through Coyote) that he was a bit of a ladies man and made his rounds wherever he was stationed that month but it just wasn’t something you ever talked about. Which was why as you sat in the Chief of Surgery’s office early one morning you felt a pit develop in your stomach when he let you know you’d be headed to San Diego for the day.

“UCSD got your fellowship application and they were very impressed… I spoke with their Chief and they’re requesting you for the day, I reckon they’re about to woo you,” he chuckled. “You’ll take the hospital’s charter and return tomorrow evening, you leave in an hour,” he said and you just stared at him in shock.

“Woo me, sir?” you asked and he nodded.

“You’ll spend the day in their facilities, get the lay of the land and meet the Head of Trauma, they’ll likely let you scrub in on something cool… they’re putting you up in a nice hotel in Coronado on the beach and giving you tomorrow to explore the city, likely in hopes of you falling in love with the San Diego lifestyle,” he said and you were still looking at him skeptically. “This is the part where all of your hard work starts paying off, Jupiter. This isn’t going to be the first hospital that tries to get your attention but they’re certainly hoping to be the last,” he said.

“But sir, I have patients… I’m supposed to take Mrs. Murphy in for her-”

“You’ll still have patients when you get back, go… maybe have a little bit of fun,” he said with a smile and you nodded as you left his office. Having fun wasn’t something you really did often, your life existed within the walls of this hospital. For you, fun was cutting people open and maybe you could constitute what you were doing with Blake as fun but you really thought of it as more of a time filler.

And they’d done exactly what he said they would… you were given a tour of the hospital by an overly eager resident (who had a million questions for you about the clinical trial you’d worked on with your Head of Neuro during your second year) and you learned cutting edge trauma techniques during a GSW surgery that you’d only read about in medical journals all before they sent you packing while the sun was still out to get settled in your hotel and see everything San Diego had to offer you. Jake was still here, he’d returned from his mission a few weeks ago and there was talk about keeping him and all the other pilots that were recalled for the detachment here permanently as a squadron while teaching new recruits at Top Gun. You changed out of the scrubs you’d been wearing since Boston and showered, throwing on a sundress and sandals before walking out of your hotel and strolling along the beach… Following your phone's maps you knew you were only a few minutes away from the bar where Jake told you he spent most of his time nowadays and you dialed his contact, hoping he was around and not up in the air somewhere.

“Hey angel, perfect timing. I just got to the bar, man it was a crazy day at work today,” he said and you could hear the chatter in the background as he greeted Penny and ordered a beer.

“Yeah? Tell me all about it,” you said and you listened as he went on about a new recruit who reminded him a lot of himself but not in a good way, mentioning something about almost losing total control of his jet and taking Phoenix out and you shuddered as you imagined it, stopping right in front of the entrance and taking a deep breath. “Hey, what was the name of that bar you’re always at?” you asked, a soft smirk playing on your lips as you walked in and recognized the group of pilots around the pool table from the photos he sent you.

“The Hard Deck, why?” he asked as you made your way through while praying you weren’t in his line of sight and you saw him leaning against the bar with his back to you and you leaned against a beam a few feet away.

“Huh, that’s weird… I just walked into a bar called the Hard Deck, must be a coincidence,” you said, doing your best to sound nonchalant.

“The Hard Deck? In Boston? That doesn’t make any… are you fucking with me?” he asked and you stifled a laugh.

“I don’t think so? Yeah, there’s this red neon sign out front, a lot of coffee cups hanging from the ceiling which is an interesting design choice,” you said as you watched his head tilt upwards, “a lot of people in khaki. Actually… there’s this guy at the bar wearing the hell out of a khaki uniform that I think might be cute but I can’t really tell, he’s got his back to me… do you think I should make a move?” you asked and he turned around slowly as if he was in a horror movie expecting the killer to be right behind him and you were worried his face was going to split in half from how wide he smiled when he spotted you. He was crossing the distance in an instant, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you off the ground as you giggled.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked, squeezing you tight. 

“I was at UCSD for the day getting the star treatment,” you said a touch dramatically as you threw your hair over your shoulder. “Thought I’d surprise you.” 

“Well I am certainly surprised, what do you want to drink?” he asked and you shook your head.

“In a minute, I’m quite liking this surprising people thing…” you said, walking over to the pool table where Coyote was so thoroughly invested in the shot he was lining up he didn’t even notice you.

“What’s a girl gotta do to get a drink around here?” you sighed, leaning against the edge of the table and ignoring the confused looks from the other pilots… 

“Well, give me a moment here darling… I’d be happy to oblige once I win this game,” he replied and you chuckled at the suave voice he’d put on to try and impress you, still not realizing who you were. “Holy shit, Jupiter?” he said after he sank his shot and you laughed as he pulled you in for a hug. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought I’d come see what all this Top Gun nonsense was about,” you replied and he brought his hands up to cup your face and squish your cheeks.

“It’s been far too long, what are you drinking?” he asked, already halfway to the bar and you called out beer after him. 

“The Jupiter?” the dark haired woman you recognized as Phoenix said, sticking out her hand and introducing herself. “Those two talk about you so often I honestly thought you were a myth at this point.” 

“I’ve heard a lot about you too… thank you for keeping this one’s ego in check,” you said with a laugh as you gestured to Jake and he just rolled his eyes at you.

“Someone has to,” she muttered before going around and introducing you to everyone else and you smiled as they all eagerly hugged you, seemingly you were already a part of the family with how often Jake and Coyote mentioned you. “Rooster’s around here somewhere, you’ll meet him eventually.” 

“Okay, tell me all about UCSD,” Jake said, directing you to a chair and you filled him in on all the details… maybe leaving out a few about the surgery at first but Bob had appeared out of nowhere and expressed an interest in the gory details which you were happy to share, and Jake took that opportunity to excuse himself when Coyote brought you your drink and challenged him to a round of pool. His friends were great, they asked a lot of questions and hung onto your every word when you answered and they were thrilled to tell you all about their lives as pilots.

“This could be good for you two,” Phoenix said when the two of you found yourselves alone standing by the window overlooking the beach, “did Hangman tell you we might be getting permanent stations?”

“He mentioned it, but definitely downplayed it,” you answered and she nodded.

“It’s looking more like a serious possibility now,” she said and your eyes brightened, “this is the best squad I’ve ever been a part of… if you overlook half of what Hangman says,” she said and you chuckled. “Turns out the bigwigs feel the same and want us to instruct at Top Gun permanently in between deployments.” You tried to temper your excitement.

“I’m sure you’re all loving that idea… might be nice to officially call someplace home,” you mused.

“We’re all excited… besides, the last mission really bonded us, I don’t know if I could just go back to my old squad after that.”

“He didn’t tell me much, assumed he couldn’t, but from what I hear it looked like a few of you weren’t going to make it back for a minute?” 

She nodded, “Rooster and Maverick, Hangman is actually the one who went after them and saved them,” she said and you turned to look at her with wide eyes. “Disobeyed orders too, surprised the hell out of all of us. He’s a jackass but if you ignore all the bravado he’s kind of a good guy,” she said, “but don’t tell him I said that.”

“Your secrets safe with me,” you chuckled before excusing yourself to grab another drink. You knew from Coyote that Jake had a bit of a rough exterior when it came to work and was often off putting to a lot of other pilots and you were happy to see that he was finding a place here, dropping some of the ego and making real connections. You met Penny who gave you your next round on the house despite how you tried to protest and just as you were about to rejoin the group you came face-to-face with a tall redhead who had an annoyed expression on her face.

“You’re Jupiter?” she asked and when you nodded tentatively you could have sworn she scoffed. “Look, I’m just going to be blunt… Do I need to be worried about you and Hangman?” she asked and you were truthfully stunned and glanced at Penny who gave you a look that seemed to say tread lightly. 

“I’m sorry, you are?” you asked.

“Hannah, he and I are kinda…” she trailed off and you nodded in understanding. You looked her over once more and felt your heart twist as you did, if you looked past her somewhat aggressive disposition she was absolutely stunning. 

“Got it, no you have nothing to worry about… just childhood friends, I’m actually seeing someone back home,” you offered, hoping it would appease her and it seemed to because she disappeared back to her friends and you shook your head in disbelief, tossing back the tequila and smiling at Penny who was already pouring you another. “Thank you,” you said.

“No problem… that happens all the time, there’s always some kind of turf war happening in this bar over the pilots… especially Hangman,” she said and you nodded softly as she went to serve other customers. This shouldn’t hurt, you knew this already but it didn’t do anything to ease the sting or stop the nauseous feeling that took hold in your stomach.

“You’re seeing someone?” You heard Jake ask from behind you and you turned to meet his eyes, letting out a sigh as you did so.

“Kind of? It’s not serious,” you shrugged and really it wasn’t a lie… you weren’t exclusive with Blake, you knew he might want to get there eventually but you weren’t yet. “Didn’t know you were seeing someone,” you added.

“Kind of… it’s not serious,” he repeated your words and you nodded, taking your next shot and looking over to Coyote.

“Your pool partner is beckoning you,” you said and he looked you over, trying to decipher if you were mad or not but he couldn’t tell and honestly neither could you. You had no room to be jealous, you were doing the exact same thing he was. Maybe you were jealous that he wasn’t confronted with it, Blake was just an idea all the way across the country while Hannah was just a few yards away shooting daggers in your direction… you nodded encouragingly, silently telling him to go back to his pool game and you watched as he did so as you leaned against the bar. 

The rest of the group was smiling and laughing, playing darts or engaged in conversation and you thought about how easy it would be if you could just slip in here… you knew you still had to entertain the offers from other hospitals but choosing San Diego just seemed natural and obvious. Your ears perked up as you heard the jukebox suddenly cut out and the sounds of someone tinkering with the keys of the piano and you followed the noise to the end of the bar where you saw a man with a questionable mustache and a rather loud Hawaiian shirt sitting. “You must be Rooster,” you observed and he looked up at you slightly.

“You must be Jupiter,” he shot back, “the girl who has captured everyone’s attention tonight,” he said as you smiled and leaned against the piano.

“I have a tendency to do that,” you chuckled, listening as he switched gears and you recognized the opening notes of Drops of Jupiter, and you let out a loud laugh. “Oh, don’t do it...” you said, trailing off and he just smirked at you, one that you were sure had reeled in a lot of girls before, and it even would have worked on you if you didn’t have Jake to worry about on the other side of the bar.

“Now that she’s back in the atmosphere with drops of Jupiter in her hair,” he started singing and you couldn’t keep the smile off your face as he looked up at you with mischief in his eyes, nudging your leg with his and encouraging you to join in but you just shook your head. “Come on, don’t leave me hanging,” he said before starting the chorus and you begrudgingly sang along with him, maybe a little out of key but it didn’t seem to matter. The rest of the bar had started to move towards the piano and you had an inkling that this was a regular occurrence in this bar. Rooster seemed to have this natural pull to him, almost like gravity as your new friends circled around you and joined in.

But tell me, did you sail across the sun? Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded, and that heaven is overrated? And tell me, did you fall for a shooting star? One without a permanent scar and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?

Across the bar Jake was watching you with an unreadable expression on his face as you danced and sang with his friends, and while you were lost in the moment as you lead the bar in song with Rooster he was abandoning his conversation with Hannah mid-sentence and walking towards you on no accord of his own… you had your own gravitational pull, and when you met his eyes he felt like nothing else in the world truly mattered. Not when you looked that beautiful, not when you and Rooster had the whole bar eating out of the palms of your hands. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, and you couldn’t take your eyes off him as he leaned against a beam and smiled that classically Jake smile at you. When you looked away it was to laugh with Phoenix as Rooster really played up the moment and put his whole heart and soul into it and you thought to yourself that this was what you wanted.

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken? Your best friend always sticking up for you, even when I know you’re wrong? Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance, five hour phone conversation, the best soy latte that you ever had and me?

These were the moments that you were missing… and it wasn’t because you didn’t have the time back home, you could make it if you wanted to. It was because you never felt like you could truly let go of yourself until Jake was around, you didn’t know how to relinquish control and go with the flow unless you were in his orbit, knowing that he was watching over you and these were the moments you craved. You wanted more nights in this bar, with these friends and with those green eyes watching you.

But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet? Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day, and head back toward the Milky Way? And tell me, did you sail across the sun? Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded, and that heaven is overrated? And tell me, did you fall for a shooting star? One without a permanent scar and then you miss me while you were looking for yourself?

The bar was trying to stay in time with Rooster as he ad-libbed the ending but truthfully it was just chaos as you danced with Phoenix and laughed with Coyote as somewhere Bob was recording the whole thing. You wrapped your arms around Rooster’s shoulders as he finished and placed a kiss to his cheek, “thank you,” you whispered into his ear and he nodded after giving your arm a squeeze. You lifted your head to see Jake still looking at you and you made your way through the throng of people, giving him a look that said are you coming? as you slipped out the doors. You kicked your shoes off and set them beside one of the picnic benches before walking out into the sand and you heard the bar doors open and shut behind you… you didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked and you chuckled.

“I didn’t fly all the way across the country to not get my feet wet,” you answered, turning around to face him as you continued walking backwards. “Gonna join me?” you asked before running towards the water and he just watched for a moment.

“Ah, hell,” he muttered, pulling his boots off and abandoning them in the sand as he rolled his khakis up as high as they would go and chased after you. The water was biting on your ankles and you laughed as Jake caught up and wrapped your arms around your waist, lifting you off the ground.

Inside the bar the jukebox had been turned back on and the group had gone back to their usual spots before catching a glimpse of the two of you out there splashing around in the water and laughing under the moonlight and soon they were crowded around the window to watch.

“You mean to tell me that’s Hangman out there?” Payback asked in disbelief.

“Can you blame him?” Rooster asked, “if she wasn’t the Jupiter I’d be doing anything I could to get her to look at me like that,” he said, overlooking you beam up at Jake.

“The real question here is how are they not together?” Phoenix asked and Coyote shrugged.

“They were a long time ago… They broke up before college because they knew it was going to be impossible to stay together.”

“What a load of shit, they are so in love,” she replied with a faux-gag and Hannah scoffed behind them, coming to see what they were all looking at.

“I knew it,” she muttered and Phoenix shot her a glare.

“Just go home already,” she said exasperatedly and the boys all stifled their laughter.

“Oh come on, you guys are shameless,” Bob said as he returned from the bathroom. “Let them have their moment.” 

“I’m sorry about Hannah,” Jake said as you settled in the sand and you just shrugged.

“It’s okay… I’m sorry about Blake,” you replied and he shook his head.

“I want you to be happy.”

“I want you to be happy, too,” you said, turning your head to face him.

“Are you?” he asked and you pondered this for a moment. 

“I don’t know… I’m happy right now,” you offered and he nodded. “I really like it here… and you might be stationed here permanently?” 

He sighed, “maybe… I don’t want you making any career decisions on my behalf,” he said and you looked back to the water.

“I know.” It fell silent between you two as you both watched the waves. You really were happy right now, you’d known the other pilots officially for a handful of hours but you felt like you were better friends with them than Holly or anyone else back in Boston… you’d come out of your shell and you felt like you were at home. You knew he was going to encourage you to at least hear out any other offers from other hospitals, and you knew that you should but you just didn’t want to. Even if Hannah was someone permanent and even if you didn’t really know where the two of you stood you wanted to be here. “Would it be such a bad thing if I did choose San Diego because of you?” you finally asked.

“I don’t know… I just don’t want you missing out on other opportunities,” he answered.

“They made me a really good offer,” you said, turning to look at him and he raised his eyebrows questioningly. “The salary is way above a standard fellows, they basically greenlit my rural health initiative, and offered to cover my relocation costs, a mortgage allowance and to absorb all of my loans,” you said and his eyes widened. “Even if I consider other hospitals all they’ll be able to do is try and match that, and it’s a really good hospital… you being here is just kind of the final thing that makes it perfect.”

“If you took me out of the equation and another hospital offered you the same, would you take it?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know. San Diego was my number one before I even knew you might be here permanently.” 

He nodded, “don’t get me wrong, I want nothing more than for you to be here but I just want you to consider all of your options.”

“I know,” you said, refocusing on the water. “But I just don’t think making a decision because of you would be a bad thing.”

“I didn’t say-”

“You kind of did.” you cut him off, “and I get it… I wouldn’t want you doing the same for me but… Hannah? That sucked, and I know it didn’t feel good hearing me say I was seeing someone,” you said. “I just… I’m tired, Jake. I had more fun tonight than I’ve probably ever had, I can see myself living here and I just don’t want to have to justify that to you because you think I should keep my options open.” 

“I’m sorry,” he said, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and you leaned into him. 

“Everything has been hard… the last ten years of my life have just been hard and I’m finally in a position where I can do something that would make everything so much easier so if that’s what I decide to do just… let me, okay?” 

“Okay,” he said, holding you tight as you let your eyes drift closed. “I’m really proud of you, Jupiter.”

“I know…” you said, twisting your neck to look up at him. “I’m really proud of you too...”

previous part / next part

taglist: @mamaskillerqueen @clancycucumber230 @the-romanian-is-bae @dempy @alldaysdreamers @zzsloth @emma8895eb @novagreen04 @classyunknownlover @olliepig @purplevortexx​ (if your username is struck through, it wouldn’t let me tag you -- sorry!)

[reignsbaby]

This is for @diorianna

Hope you enjoy love!!!

(Also let’s pretend that Roman only has 3 kids in this)

Longing for Love

——Joe P.O.V.——

I never thought my life would include a messy divorce with children involved but here I am…and it’s so difficult. I’m fighting for my kids, my home, my life all of it. It all just keeps getting more stressful as days go on. My grey hairs are popping through more and more. I had to find someone to help me. I began to reasearch nanny’s and baby sitters. When my eyes fell upon Y/N I felt something jolt inside me. The smile, so perfect and beautiful, the doe eyes entrancing me further…but I stopped myself. I was a soon to be divorced dad of 5. No woman her age would want me like that. But she did seem pretty genuine and open to really any hours available. So I decided to shoot her an email

—— Y/n P.o.V. ——

I groaned as my phone dinged roughly five times. There’s no way it’s time for me to get up yet…who the hell is texting me this early? I thought as I rolled over in my bed, I picked my phone up off the nightstand before sitting up in bed. It was notifications from my nanny/babysitting app I have.

Joe Anoa’i: Hello my name is Joe

Joe Anoa’i : I’ve never contacted someone on here before so bare with me please 😅

Joe Anoa’i: I have 3 kids, 1 is a teen so I don’t really need help with her as much, she might need help with homework or something here and there but she’s mostly with her mom, but I do have twin boys who are 3 years old.

Joe Anoa’i: I’m unsure the hours, I am really struggling currently as I’m going through a very rough divorce on top of this

Joe Anoa’i: I’m also on the road a lot, when I have my kids, they come with me so I can assure I spend gas much quality time with them as possible.

I took a look at Joes profile and I immediately noticed how good looking he was. But I pushed that aside it was time to be professional.

Good Morning Joe! I appreciate your interest in my services! I am a part time student who full time works as a nanny/babysitter, I would like to tell you a little bit about myself as I find that important for potential clients. I am 24 years old and I have always loved children, I as of now prefer to watch others children since I want to get my degree! I go to school online so I have open availability! I have been babysitting for roughly 7 years, and I’ve nannied for families for 2 years! I have taken many classes and sat in seminars to ensure that I can be a positive role model for children as well as a safe person for them to rely on. My classes and certifications will be listed below:

• CPR And AED Certified (I also have a portable aed machine I keep with me at all times)

• Water Safety Certification

• infant care certification

• professional nanny certification

• Childhood nutrition

• Fitness education

• Foreign language (6 years of Spanish, 3 years of French, I speak Spanish and French fluently)

• Special Needs Care Classes

• Positive Discipline Training

I would definitely be interested in helping you out! I do require at least one in person meeting prior to discussing any services and creating a buisness contract. If meeting in person doesn’t work (with your busy work schedule) I am also willing to do a zoom call and talk to you over that! Thank you for your interest and I hope to hear from you soon!

Y/F/N Y/L/N

I sent the email and rolled over to go back to sleep. I couldn’t help but think about how handsome Joe was…I pushed it out of my mind and slowly fell back to sleep.

——Joe P.O.V.——

As I ran on the treadmill the ding of a notification interrupted my music. I looked down seeing it was a email from the nannying site. I opened it, reading Y/N’s message and smiling. She said she’d help! And she’s got so many qualifications…man she’s a well rounded individual.

—Time skip because it’s needed now—

——Y/n P.O.V.——

It was a hot day and the first thing the boys wanted to do was swim, I loved Joe’s twins and they were so well behaved. And Joelle was home too which made for nice conversation, she’s such a sweet girl I felt bad that she had to be as old as she was while her parents went through a divorce, my parents were divorced, and it sucked to be her age through all of it too. I walked upstairs, knocking on the door of the boys room. I opened it hearing then giggle. “You boys finish your assigned reading for the day?” I asked and they both nodded with big smiles on their faces. “Well good……I guess it’s pool time then!” I said excitedly and they screamed jumping up and down and making me shush them. “Boys your dad is still sleeping you have to keep it down…he had a long week.” I said and they looked up at me covering their mouths before giggling. “I’m awake.” I heard his deep raspy voice say from behind me, shivers ran up my spin as I slowly turned to look back. My eyes trailed from his thick muscular legs up to his naked torso and chest. My eyes finally connected with his deep chocolate doe eyes making my face flush. “Oh Mr.Anoa’i I didn’t realize you were up! Sorry boys I yelled at you for no reason then.” I said with a small laugh. “How many times I gotta tell ya call me Joe. It’s okay I’d rather you keep these rowdy boys of mine in line then let them wreak havoc like I know they can.” He said as he moved into the room, quickly swooping each boy up onto his shoulders. They giggled and squealed making me smile. “Daddy! Guess what! It’s pool day!” One twin squeaked out surrounded by laughs. “You gotta swim with us please daddy!” The other twin said making me smile. “They sure do drive a hard bargain huh?” He said turning and looking at me. “Yes they do.” I said with a smirk. “Well I guess I have no choice then. I’ll go get my suit on. You two get yours on.” He said setting them down and they nodded. “Last one down to the pool is a rotten egg!” He said before bolting from the room. I quickly grabbed the suits from their dresser handing them each one before exiting the room and closing the door. I needed to check on Joelle.

I knocked softly on her door, hearing her softly tell me to come in. I opened the door peaking my head in seeing her writing stuff down. “Hey Joelle, I just wanted to check in and see how you are doing.” I said with a soft smile closing the door behind me. She looked over sighing before I saw her lip wiggle. “Oh no I’m sorry hun I didn’t want to make you cry:” I said walking over and giving her a hug. She cried softly shaking her head: “I’m so stressed out!” She sobbed out and I rubbed her back letting her calm. “Let’s talk about what you are stressed about.” I said and she let out a shaky breath and nodded. “I’m trying to get a really good score on this anatomy test, I have all A’s but this class I have an A- and I want to get it up so bad. And then I have the varsity swim tryout tomorrow too…and with everything going on with my parents it’s hard to focus, I want to stay here but I know mom is coming tonight and that’s gonna be a huge deal if I even mention it. But I want quiet, and I love my brothers but they are kids and they are loud.” She said and I hummed nodding. “You got practice cards for the exam?” I asked and she nodded. “Okay, well I can help you study, and I can help you as best as I can with practicing for the swim tryout too. I think you need some fresh air for a reset though. Have you had anything to eat today yet?” I asked and she shook her head. “Okay, get your cards, and get your suite on, I’ll make you some lunch and we’ll sit by the pool and study.” I said and she smiled nodding. “You go ahead and get your suit on and I’ll go ahead and make you some food. Meet me down by the pool. I’ll help you out as much as I can.” I said and she smiled. She gave me a big hug. “Thank you for everything Y/n. I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here.” She said and I smiled. “It makes me happy to help and it’s also my job. I don’t want you struggling through a bunch of stuff at once. You already have enough going on with your parents.” I said and she nodded. I stood giving her another hug before walking out. I walked down the stairs, taking stuff out to make sandwiches, I made Joelle, The boys, Joe and myself a sandwich, I then cut up some fruit and veggies and put them on a tray. Joelle walked down there stairs while I was cutting the boys sandwiches up. “I made you a sandwich hun. And I cut some fruits and veggies too. Let’s go outside.” I said and she nodded opening the door for me as I brought all the food out. “Boys I made you sandwiches come eat! Joe I made you one too.” I said and set them down on the table. The boys quickly got out running over to grab a sandwich. “Hey beautiful, how’s it going?” Joe asked getting out walking over to Joelle kissing her in the top of her head. “I’m a little stressed dad. Y/n’s helping me though.” She said smiling at me and I nodded. “If you need my help babygirl you know all you have to do is ask. Can I help with anything?” He asked as I ogled his body as he hopped out of the pool with ease. The water making his entire body glisten under the sun. “I might need your help with practicing for my swim team tryout tomorrow, and also I want to stay here overnight to get good rest, can you somehow try to convince mom to let me stay?” She asked and I could see him tense slightly. “Whatever you need babygirl I got you.” He said with a soft smile and she smiled back with a nod. Joelle sat down on one of the chairs organizing some school work. I walked over with her sandwich and sat down on the other chair. “Okay let’s get started.” I said and she nodded taking a bite out of her sandwich.

—————

We studied for a good portion of time and she was acing everything. “Okay how do you feel now?” I asked setting down her note cards. “Much more confident now onto the swim try out.” She said and I nodded. “Alright babygirl what do you need me to do?” Joe asked and she thought for a moment. “Well I need to stay under a certain time so can you time me?” She asked and he nodded. “Y/n can you give me a countdown? She asked and I nodded. We walked over to the far end of the pool and she got set up. “Alright. Ready, set, GO!” I said and she dived into the water effortlessly, swimming with all of her willpower to the other end. As soon as she touched the end she looked up at Joe. “18.5 seconds.” He said and she groaned. “What do you need to be at?” He asked her. “I need to be below 16 seconds.” She said and he nodded. “Okay well you aren’t that far off…let’s just focus and push, do you need me to talk to you while you swim?” He asked and she thought for a moment. “Yeah maybe.” She said hopping back out of the pool. She walked around to the end of the pool again getting ready. “Ready?” I asked and she nodded. “Ready. Set. GO!” I said and she dived in once again. “Come on! Push! You got this! Push! Faster! You are almost there!” Joe said as he cheered her on. She touched the wall looking over at him breathing heavily. “You were so close honey. 16.5 that time.” He said and she groaned. “Uhm would it helped if I raced you? Maybe when you are next to competition you push harder.” I said and she looked over at Joe and he shrugged. “I don’t think that it would hurt to try.” He said with a smile and I nodded. She came back over to the side I was on and we both got ready. “Ready. Set. GO!” Joe said as we both dove into the water. I swam as fast as I could and I could tell she was going to beat me. Which was good. I finally touched the wall and she quickly looked up and over at her father. “You got….13.8 SECONDS!” He said and I cheered clapping for her. “Yes!!! Thank you both for helping.” Joelle said with a big smile and I nodded.

——Joe P.O.V.——

As Joelle hopped out of the pool, I watched as Y/n slowly got out. I couldn’t help but watch the droplets of water cascade down her body. My mind thinking of all the things I’d love to do to her. But I was older than her, and divorced, messily divorced which she’s seem parts of. Which I’m sure isn’t a great look for me. But there’s also something so entrancing about watching her with my kids. She’s so nurturing and loving. And the kids seem to love her too. I was snapped out of my thoughts by Joelle. “I think mom’s here.” She said and I looked down at my watch. She was 2 hours early. I’m sure there’s some fucking reason for it. I walked into the house and over to the door. I opened it seeing my loving ex wife standing there. “You are early…what a lovely surprise.” I said with all the sarcasm I could muster. “It’s not like you have anything to hide. I already know you are probably sleeping with that skank you call a “nanny” you mad I interrupted you finally getting some?” She asked and I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

——Y/N P.O.V.——

I told the kids to go get their stuff ready upstairs as I walked into the house with their wet towels. I began walking to the laundry room before I heard the bickering. “Oh please Joe. I know you like that whore I’m sure you haven’t kept your hands off of her.” I heard his ex wife say. “Are you fucking crazy? You are here to pick the kids up that’s it. I’m not going to fucking argue with you. I don’t know why you care so much anyway. YOU asked for a divorce not me.” I heard Joe say and I bit my lip. Was she talking about it me? I wondered as I threw the towels in the washer throwing some soap in before starting it. “Because I don’t want my kids being watched by some slut who’s probably trying to fuck their father in front of them.” She said and my jaw dropped. She was talking about me. I slowly walked into the hallway not stepping out from behind the wall. “You are going to stop talking about Y/n like you even know her. And you need to stop projecting so much. Just because you cheated and then asked for a divorce and then the guy you cheated with broke up with you doesn’t mean that you have any right in how I’m living my life. And for your information Y/N and I have not slept together so let’s get that straight right now.” Joe said making me blush. “But you want to don’t you? You want to fuck someone younger. Manipulate her just like you did to me.” She said and my eyes went wide: “I’m seriously done having this conversation with you. You are just trying to embarrass me and yourself at this point.” Joe said and she laughed. Something in me decided to make me step out from behind the wall. Joes eyes made contact with mine and he sighed. “Y/n I’m sorry her behavior is unacceptable. I didn’t want you to hear any of that I apologize on her behalf.” He said and I smiled softly. “I don’t! I’m sure he’ll knock you up just like he did me. Don’t believe his fucking lies he’s an asshole.” She said looking over his shoulder. “It’s honestly disgusting to me that you’d talk about anyone in that manor in front of your own children.” I said and she scoffed. “Oh what like they don’t hear you two moaning all night anyway?” She said making me laugh. I walked up closer to the door and Joe watched me carefully. “Let’s get one thing very very clear. I’ve never slept with Joe. I’ve never slept with anyone who I work for. So the fact that you think you can step up here and talk about me as if you’ve known me for years is astronomical to me. You should be THANKFUL I’m here. Helping your children, making sure they are getting their school work done. I just helped Joelle prep for her anatomy exam she has tomorrow and her elite swim team tryout she also has tomorrow. And Joe has been right there doing what he can as their father to help too. But seeing that YOU stepped out, YOU made this more stressful for YOUR OWN KIDS! Not HIM! So don’t go around blaming everyone else for your mistakes. You don’t want to see anyone happy or succeed because you are miserable and that’s your own wrong doing. Not anyone else’s.” I spoke with confidence before walking away. She was speechless. I walked upstairs knocking on the loud door seeing them come out with their bags packed and ready. “Alright mommy’s downstairs, go ahead I’ll see ya boys in a few days!” I said with a smile ruffling their hair. I knocked on Joelle’s door before opening it. She was shoving things into her bag aggressively. “Are you alright Joelle?” I asked softly and she shook her head as I heard her sniffle.

I walked up and sat on her bed opening me arms and she looked up crying and falling into my arms. “I’m sorry you have to be in the middle of that hunny, It’s not fair to you.” I said rubbing her back. “No it’s not. But I know it’s not dad. It’s just her I don’t understand why she hates you, or dad, when she’s the one who made a mistake.” She said shaking her head and I shrugged. “Honey the last thing I want to do is make it seem like your mom is a bad person. I know she loves you and your brothers and I think that she’s just upset and hurt that she did loose your dad and she made that mistake. It’s hard…I’m sure. Especially with how long they were married. Even though she made a mistake, it still hurts loosing him I’m sure.” I said and she sighed. “I wish she was more like you. I wish she was you. I wish you were her. You know I heard her saying all those things about sleeping with my dad. I know you haven’t, but if you like him…I think it would be good for him to have you in his life. You keep him happy. I haven’t seen him like that since way before the divorce even. He’s so much more in tune us kids now too.” She said making me smile. “Well honey as much as I do have interest in your father I think he may believe I’m too young for him and that’s okay. It won’t make me care about you and your siblings any less.” I said and she nodded: “Just promise me you’ll stay in touch even if you find someone else to take care of.” She said and I smiled. “Oh hun, if it ever were to come to those terms of course I’ll stay in touch I want to see you succeed to your fullest potential. Now pack the rest of your stuff. You’ve gotta go.” I said and she nodded. I helped her pack the rest of her stuff into her bag and we walked out of her bedroom. We walked down stairs and she turned and hugged me, her mother glaring from the door. “Hey you are gonna do amazing tomorrow okay?” I said and she smiled nodded. She walked out the door, Joe closing it behind her. He sighed his head dropping as he looked down at the floor. “Joe I-.” Before I could finish he put a finger up. “Don’t. Don’t do what I know you are about to do.” He said and I blushed softly. “I was just gonna apologize.” I said and he shook his head turning around looking at me. “No. You don’t have to do that. You were in the right. I never should’ve let her continue disrespecting you. I apologize. She was so out of line.” He said and I shrugged. “I don’t care what she says about me. I care about what those kids hear. Joelle was up there in tears. That’s not okay to me.” I said and he nodded his eyes brimmed with tears. “I-I know. I just…I don’t even know what the fuck to do.” He said putting his head in his hands. “Would you like a hug?” I asked softly and he nodded walking over pulling me in for a big hug. He was like a giant compared to me but u tried my best to wrap my arms around him. He cried just like Joelle oddly enough. “I just never thought my life would come to this you know? I’ve been cheated on, went through a divorce and now she’s got this fucking vendetta out against me for god knows what, and my fucking children are being affected by it.” He said and I sighed. “You don’t deserve this.” I said and he shook his head. “I just want my kids to be happy. They are always happy when they come here and you’re here.” He said and I let him go finally sensing slight resistance. “Joe maybe it’s better if I find a different family to nanny for. I can’t live with subjecting the kids to this life if I’m what causes that.” I said and his face dropped. “Joe, maybe it would be best for me to nanny for a different family. I don’t want to cause the kids more stress and harm.” I said shaking my head and he pulled his head away looking at me fear writing like the front page cover of a newspaper. “Y-you can’t go. The kids love you, I love you, I-.” He stopped as it sunk in what he just said. “Y-you what?” I asked softly, looking up at him as tears brimmed my eyes. His hands slowly came up to caress my face before he pulled me in for a soft loving kiss.

I closed my eyes taking in the feeling of his soft sweet lips against mine. I relaxed against him as our lips moved in sync with each others. We pulled away for air and I finally opened my eyes looking up at him. His dark brown doe eyes bored into mine. “I said I love you. I fucking love you Y/N. And I know it’s probably wrong but fuck I can’t hide it anymore. You are so perfect.” He said rubbing my cheek softly making me smile. “I love you to Joe.” I said with a smile and his smile somehow grew wider. He kissed me again with more passion this time. His hand ran up to hair gripping it softly, his other arm snaking its way around my waist pulling me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck softly moaning into his mouth. “Let me show you? Please?” He asked lowly and I nodded. His strong arms reached down to the back of my thighs hoisting me up onto his waist. He kissed my neck softly making my head lull back as he walked us up the stairs. “God I didn’t think you’d feel the same about me.” He said softly as we made our way to his room. He closed the door behind us, bringing us to the bed before sitting down. “I found you attractive the moment I saw you..” I whispered in his ear making him groan.

His hands traveled up my thighs, gripping my ass softly before continuing up to my waist. His hands slid under my shirt, pulling it up and over my head. His eyes traveled down my body. “God you are fucking gorgeous.” He whispered making me blush and cover my face. “What? There’s no way you aren’t used to compliments.” He said kissing down my neck slowly. “I don’t..g-get many.” I whispered out as he flipped me around laying me down softly in the bed. His soft lips trailed down my body his eyes closed with each kiss. His large hands caressed my thighs trailing down to my waistband. He delicately pulled my pants off, my underwear following right after. “Please take your clothes off.” I whimpered out and he smiled. “I got you baby.” He said lowly his lustful eyes gleamed in the setting sun. He pulled his shirt off with one hand. My eyes tracked down his gorgeous body. Loving the site. So fucking hot. His gorgeous tan skin, accompanied with his dark and prominent tattoos. I swore he was sculpted by a god. He pulled his pants down his v-lines peaking out of his boxers. My eyes traveled to his thick hard on prominent in his tight briefs. “Oh wow…I-I’ve never seen one so big before.” I said making him chuckle. “Can I touch you?” I asked softly looking up at him. “Of course you can baby.” He said lowly making me smile. I sat up crawling over to him. I kneeled as I leaned forward kissing his soft lips. His hands traveled down to my hips gripping them softly. I ran my hand down his chiseled upper body, wanting to memorize every ounce of muscle I could feel. Finally I met the fabric of his waistband. I slipped my fingers into his waist band reaching for his hard member. My hand just barely being able to wrap around it.

I slowly began to stroke him, his deep moans making the fire inside me blaze higher. He pulled away from the kiss pushing his forehead up against mine. “As much as I love you touching me. I’d prefer to also be pleasuring you.” He said and I smiled nodded. “How about you ride my face? Would you like that?” He’s asked and I nodded softly. Before I knew it he was laying down and I was being pulled up to his face. His muscular arms pulled my thighs down as he began to skillfully work his tongue against me. I moaned softly as my eyes rolled from pleasure. I quickly went to work taking his member out of his boxers, pushing them down his legs. I took in the sight of his thick cock, wondering how it was going to even fit. I had never seen someone so well endowed let alone had one inside of me that large. I gripped his member softly before slowly licking around the tip. His thighs twitched with anticipation as I began to lick and suck him. My tongue running along the veins feeling them throb. I moaned around him as he hit a pleasure filled spot. He slowed for a moment trailing his tongue around before triggering my moan again. He smiled against me as he focussed on that spot. I moaned around him my legs beginning to shake from pleasure. I sped up my motions bobbing my head around him adding my hand stroking him with what I couldn’t fit in my mouth. I was so fucking close. He pulled me up slightly making me whine as his mouth was now detached from me. “I want you to dum for me baby. I’m so close. I want you to cum in my face baby lemme taste you.” He growled out before going right back to work he quickly found my spot again making me moan around him even more. Before I knew it my eyes rolled back, my thighs squeezed his face and I basked in the feeling of pure pleasure, feeling what felt like jolts of lightning flow through my body. He slurped against me making me whimper. I continued to suck as I felt his cock twitch.

His warm essence filled my mouth as he groaned. “Fuck baby that was amazing.” He growled out making me hum. I finally sat up removing myself from on top of him. “Come lay down, let me take care of you.” He said and I laid down as he sat up. Somehow still hard he lined up with my entrance bending down and kissing me softly. I still involuntarily tensed making him pull back and look at me. “What’s wrong sweetheart?” He asked and my face flushed hotly. “I-I just haven’t done this in a while you are really big, I won’t lie and say I’m not nervous.” I said and he bent down against kissing me softly. “Honey, if you don’t want to do this we don’t have to.” He said softly and I shook my head. “No no I want to! I do! I’m just a little nervous that’s all.” I said and he nodded. He kissed down my jawline over to my ear. “I’ll be as gentle as you want me to be my love.” He said softly in my ear making me moan out. “You ready?” He asked and I nodded softly. He kissed along my neck slowly easing himself inside of me. I gasped loudly as he was finally in. “Too much?” He asked and I shook my head quickly. “No! Please don’t stop.” I moaned out gripping his biceps as he began to thrust into me. He felt so much bigger inside of me. I moaned loudly gripping onto his back. His slow deep thrusts gave me all I needed and more. “You like that baby? You like the way I fuck you?” He asked lowly in my ear making me moan louder. “Yes! Oh fuck I love it please don’t stop!” I screamed out making him growl. “God you feel like fucking magic you know that?” He panted out making me whine. He sat up pulling my legs over his shoulders making me gasp out. He sped up his thrusts the new angle making him feel like he was inside my stomach. I knew I was close already. But I wanted him to use that strength. “Harder baby! Fuck me harder please!” I moaned out as he growled. He picked began to slam into me the sound of skin slapping together filled the room. “You like it a little rough don’t you baby?” He said with a smirk making me whine with a nod. “Yesss I love it rough.” I moaned out making him groan. He brought his hand up my belly, then chest, resting it at my neck making me moan. His other hand reaching down and rubbing slow circles around my clit as he pounded into me. “Oh fuck I’m gonna cum! Please! Please don’t stop!” I moaned out gripping his biceps digging my nails in. “Cum for me baby. Come all over me.” He moaned out and I my moans began to get higher as I felt myself start to shake. My toes curled, my eyes rolled back and the knot inside me tightened before releasing completely. Falling over the edge my body shaking softly. My body felt heavy as I still was reviving from my orgasm. I heard him growl before pulling out quickly, shooting his load all over my stomach. I breathed heavily my eyes closed from exhaustion. “You sit tight baby I’m gonna go get a washcloth and towel to clean up.” He said and I nodded holding my thumb up to him making him laugh.

——Next Day——

I was sleeping peacefully wrapped in Joe’s warm and cozy arms when all the sudden his phone started ringing. Joe jolted, quickly reaching for the smartphone on the nightstand. “Hello?” He said rubbing his eyes and sitting up softly. “Babygirl slow down. What’s wrong?” I heard him say and that quickly woke me up. It had to be Joelle. “We are on our way. Don’t worry about it.” He said getting out of bed. I hopped out of bed as well grabbing some leggings and a shirt. Slipping my pants on first, I looked over at Joe as he pulled some jeans on watching me change. His eyes traveled down to my naked chest as I slid my shirt on. “So what’s going on?” I asked and he snapped out of his trance. “Joelle is freaking out because she has that swim tryout and her mother is nowhere to be found but the twins aren’t at school she called the school and they said her mother picked them up.” He said and my jaw dropped. “So she left Joelle knowing that she has the varsity swim tryouts out?” I asked and he nodded. “She was torn up about it. We gotta go bring her.” He said and I nodded. I grabbed my purse jogging downstairs, I grabbed a cold purple Gatorade from the fridge, along with a beef stick and cheese stick. I’m sure she’s hungry and she needs some electrolytes to keep her focused. Joe came downstairs looking down at my hand smiling. “Bringin her a snack?” He asked and I nodded. “God I love you.” He said kissing my forehead as we walked out the door. “I love you too honey.” I said with a smile as we got into the car.

————

Once we got to the school Joelle quickly ran out and got in the car. “Thank you guys for coming.” She said softly and I handed her the snacks and drink k brought. “You’re the best Y/n.” She said ripping the packaging open and eating her snacks as we quickly made our way there. Once we were there we parked. “Alright babygirl good luck.” Joe said and she hugged him tight. “Could you guys come in and be there for me while I tryout?” She asked and Joe looked over at me. “You won’t feel like your friends think it’s lame your parents are there?” He asked and I smiled at the fact that he called us her parents. “No not at all I think it’ll help me actually.” She said and we shrugged. “Okay we are more than willing if you want us to hun!” I said and she smiled widely. We all got out of the car and walked in. We walked down to the pool and she walked over to the registration table and we walked over to the bleachers. Joelle got through registration and was givin a number to pin to her swimsuit. Joe smiled as he looked at her number. “96 god sign that was my number throughout college football.” He said making me smile. She was racing 3 others. As the line up, Joe reached over and grabbed my hand. I looked at him and he looked nervous as he was locked in on his babygirl. The shot went off and in they went. Joelle swam as hard as she could. Leading by a far amount but the time she touched the wall. “Yes that’s my girl.” I heard Joe whisper making me smile. “Alright. 96, incredible time. 13.3 seconds. Congrats you’ve made it to varsity.” The coach said and she quickly looked over at us with the biggest smile. I gave her a big smile back putting my thumb up making her smile. She got out of the pool going over and talking with the coach. She flagged us over and we walked over. “Nice to meet you both. You’ve got a very very talented girl on your hands, I think she can be something very very successful.” The coach said making me smile. “We are so proud of her. All her accomplishments this included. Thank you for noticing her potential.” Joe said and I nodded. “It’s hard to not notice it. Now you go home kid. I’ll see yah Monday bright and early for practice okay?” The coach said and Joelle nodded with a smile. She went to change coming out of the locker room a few minutes later. We walked outside and Joe turned and hugged Joelle tightly. “I’m so so proud of you.” He said and she smiled. “Sooo did you ask Y/n to be your girlfriend yet or were you just holding hands in the bleachers as a joke?” Joelle asked with a giggle. “It wasn’t a joke we are dating.” Joe said making me smile. “This is so sweet!” She said hugging me. I can’t believe that being a nanny turned into me meeting the love of my life!

✨THE END✨

[reidsc0nverse]

A Rose by Any Other Name (Chapter Three)

Summary: Reader and Rossi spend some father-daughter time together in which they host an all out Italian dinner with the team. Leading to someone getting a little tipsy, enough to need a carpool back to her apartment and who better to take her than the one guy she finds herself to be a little flirty with

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and being drunk, other than not none!

AN: I really wanted to extend the relationship that Reader has with Rossi and I love the father daughter bond that I'm trying to portray here, but also further deepening her relationship with the one and only Spencer Reid.

Series Masterlist

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I'd be lying if I didn't admit I was waiting for the rest of that night for a text from Spencer.  

The thought never left my mind, so much so that for the next three hours I just so happened to stay up binging episodes of Buffy and occasionally glancing at my phone for a text.

I fell asleep soon after, still on my couch, and only just waking up to a knock on my door. I checked my phone to see the time, it being 8 am, and got up groggily to the door.

"You look rough." I hear come out of my dads mouth as I open the door to him.

"What are you doing here? It's way too early for me to be doing things." I say rubbing my eyes, trying to wake myself up completely.

He lets himself in my apartment and I shut the door behind him. 

"I wanted to spend some time catching up with you, is that so bad?" 

I shrug, "It is when it's eight in the morning." I say sarcastically and he laughs. 

"Look, let's spend the day together, how does that sound? And tonight I'm having the team over for dinner, maybe you can use this to your advantage." He tries convincing me.

I narrow my eyes at him playfully, "This seems like a scheme, Dad."

He laughs softly and pats my shoulder, "No scheme." 

"Fine, what do you have planned?" I ask, nudging him with my shoulder.

"Let's go to brunch, hang around at my place, then you help me show how to present some true Italian cuisine to your coworkers." 

I weigh my options, this or slumping around my apartment all day while looking over some paperwork. Yeah, option one sounds pretty good.

"Sounds good," I say to him smiling and he places his hands on my countertop.

"Well then go make yourself look presentable! I thought your mother would've ingrained into you her morning routine."

I laugh at that, my mom was always a morning person when I was growing up, waking up at the crack of dawn with her full face of makeup and attire that looks as though she was going out with her girlfriends everyday. Definitely something that dad was not fond of. 

I rush into my room, leaving my dad in the kitchen to inspect my apartment as I get ready. 

I slip on a simple but classy outfit, doing something with my hair to make it look like I haven't just rolled out of bed, despite that being exactly what I did, and going into the bathroom to brush my teeth. 

"You really did just get up huh..?" My dad said walking to me as I get out the bathroom. He sticks his hand out to my face and rubs my chin with his thumb, "I'm not gonna let you out the house with toothpaste still all over you." He says with a goofy smile and I roll my eyes playfully,

"Thanks Dad, how classy." I joke and he shrugs. 

"Shall we get going?" He asks and I nod.

The car ride to the brunch place included some semi awkward small talk about my mom, as well as me checking my phone every two minutes.

Still no text.

"What's up?" My dad asks, looking from the road to see me for a moment.

"Nothing." I say as convincingly as I can. Was I upset? Maybe a little bit. But it's not that big of a deal.

"You learn pretty quickly on this team that you can't lie to a profiler, so I'll ask again. What's the matter?" He asks.

"Just waiting for a text."

This time he looks at me completely, raising his eyebrows, "Oh? Is that so? What's his name?" He asks with a cheeky grin.

I roll my eyes, "Not like that, Dad."

He nods as we pull into the brunch place and huffs out, "Yeah, right."

Brunch went well, we talked about what I've been doing before he reached out to me again after not being with my mom and I for a couple of years. How he was sorry for not being there throughout my teenage years and only trying to build up a relationship with me after my first two years in college. It was nice to hear it coming out of him to my face, and I could tell he was genuine.

We are now staying in his house- er, mansion, while he prepares all of the ingredients to make one of our favorites, baked mostaccioli.

I check my phone again, still nothing. Whatever, I should probably stop fixating on it anyway.

"Y/N, come help." I hear my dad call from the kitchen. I walk in and he hands me the block of parmesan and the grater, he's a firm hater of pre-grated cheese.

I start getting to work as he begins, "So, how are they all treating you?"

"The team? They're all super nice. I really like Emily, she's awesome." I say and he looks up at me.

"What about Reid?"

"What about him?" I can feel the red on my face.

"He's a real rambler that's for sure."

"He's nice."

He eyes me a little bit, "Mhm. You two have been getting along?"

"Yes, I would think so." I ask with a slight laugh.

He brushes it off a changes the subject as we continue to prep everything.

After a couple hours we actually start cooking the food and we hear knocking on the door.

"I'll get it" I tell my dad as I walk to the door to see Hotch and Emily, and I must say, Hotch looks a whole lot different when he has a smile on his face and he loses the suit.

"Y/N! Hey" Emily says and brings me into a hug, while I let them in the house where Hotch and my dad already start their chatter.

"I brought wine." Emily says with a grin on her face as we sit down on the couch.

It doesn't take long for everyone else to arrive, Derek, Penelope, and Spencer all arrive together and I welcome them in.

Penelope joins Emily who's pouring herself a glass on the couch as Derek follows her. I shoot Spencer an awkward smile and let him in as I close the door behind him.

We all sit around the couch chatting (and drinking) as my dad now forces Hotch to be his sous chef instead of me.

"So wait- you graduated two years early AND was valedictorian?" Emily asks after they ask me about myself before the BAU.

"Well, salutatorian, but close enough." I laugh, and she shakes her head.

"You're gonna give pretty boy a run for his money." Derek says and claps Spencer's back.

"Yeah right, didn't you graduate college at 16?" I ask him and he nods with a smile. "Plus, I'm no genius. I just worked really hard and my mom decided preschool was a waste of time and put me in elementary school early." I shrug.

"Better than me." Emily huffs with a laugh.

"Dinner is served." My dad shouts from the kitchen, we all settle around the dining table where the platters are set out, the mostaccioli as well as some panzanella and of course, breadsticks.

Emily looks at the meal, "Is this a fancy lasagna or something?"

My dad looks up at her with all seriousness, "Say that again and you're never invited to my house again."

We all laugh, but I know that he's only semi-joking and we sit and enjoy the dinner together.

After a little while we all finish and everyone settles back into the living room to share stories and drinks. I decide, however, to help out a little bit back in the kitchen and clean up some stuff.

"You know you don't have to do all of that" My dad says as he comes to get another bottle from his special cabinet.

"It's the least I can do." I say, he shrugs and walks to the others when I hear someone else walk in.

"I promise I got it" I say, thinking it was my dad again but turn around to see Spencer standing by the counter. "Oh sorry," I say and he shakes his head, "Don't worry about it."

"So.." I say. Great start Y/N that's not awkward at all.

"Do you need any help? I know you said you got it but Emily wants you back over there soon, I can help you finish a little quicker."

"Yeah, sure, if you want. Just start putting everything in the dishwasher." I request and he does so while I rinse everything off in the sink first.

"You're pretty impressive, you know that?" He says.

Oh boy, I can feel the blush creeping up on my face. "It's not that big a deal. Like I said before, it's just dedication and hard work. I'm sure you can relate to that."

He nods, "Yeah, but it's still a great accomplishment. Soon enough, if of course you actually go for it, you could become the youngest member in the BAU. Of course I'd still have the youngest age to get in but you get the point."

"Only by ONE year dingus." I say, shoving him.

He laughs, "Two actually." So he was 22 getting in, go figure.

"Oh well excuse me" I say playfully and he smiles at me, we finish the dishes and go sit with everyone.

Emily hands me a drink and we go on about god knows what and everyone kind of does their own thing, my dad and Hotch go be adults somewhere in the backyard while the rest of us are left to occupy ourselves.

Penelope and Derek are playing a drinking version of never have I ever with my dads bourbon and Emily is trying to convince Spencer to take a chance at dancing but he stays in his place on the couch.

"You're too sober for this, come on Y/N" Emily says pulling my arm.

"What are we doing exactly?" I ask with a giggle and she drags me to the stereo, looking at the cds.

"He has nothing good, this sucks. I'm guessing you're not carrying a cd of your own."

I laugh and shake my head no, "Wasn't planning on having a dance party when I was told we were having a dinner."

Penelope rushes over to us with her iPod in hand, "Fret not my pretties, I have just what you need." She plugs in a cable to the stereo and then to her iPod.

Just in time my dad walks in, "What in hell are you guys doing?"

We all laugh and Derek comes to the rescue, "Calm down, old man, we just need to see your moves."

"OLD MAN??" He asks, "I'll show you old man." He continues and lets us continue to play something.

The rest of the night goes as this: my dad getting a little too groovy and having to sit down after not even three minutes with Hotch laughing the most I've ever seen. Emily and I attempting to recreate that one dirty dancing scene, however Derek and Penelope definitely were a better duo than us and Spencer just watching it all play down.

Once it gets a little late everyone settles down and decides to start heading out.

"Princess Penny and I are having one of my friends drive us home, we'll see you guys later." Derek says as the two of them walk out and Emily follows soon after.

"I'm gonna grab a taxi, have a good night yall." she says.

"Yeah I should get going too, thanks Dave." Hotch says as he heads out.

My dad looks at Spencer and I, "Y/N, are you staying here or-"

"I can take her home" Spencer says, which makes me shoot my eyebrows up.

"Okay kids, have fun goodnight, I've had enough party time." He says walking out and Spencer stands up and faces me, "Is that okay?" he asks.

I nod and bite my tongue as I smile. "Yeah that's good."

We walk out and I get into his car, him entering the drivers side. I give him my address and we start driving.

"You and Emily's dance routine was um, definitely an interesting attempt." He says with a laugh and I giggle at him.

"She almost lifted me up."

"Like three inches off the ground." He snickers and I smack his arm.

"Hey how come you never text me?" I ask, of course the words escaped my mouth before I could even understand what I was saying. Oh well.

His face went red, "Oh, I don't know, I guess I was nervous."

"What do you possibly need to be nervous for. It was just asking to get coffee together, not asking me to marry you." I joke.

He obviously got a little antsy at that, "I, um, well I dunno."

I poked him in the cheek, "Do I make you nervous, Spencer?" I tease.

He smirked a little bit while the blush on his face only increased. "Why would you make me nervous."

"You're avoiding the question."

"You need to get some sleep, sober up a little bit."

"I'm fine Spencer." I smirk and he pulls in front of my apartment complex and puts the car in park.

"Do I need to walk you to your apartment?" He asks me as I unbuckled.

"If you want." I smiled and he quickly got out, I used my key to get into the building and we got on the elevator to my room.

"Here's mine.." I say as we stand in front of the door.

"I'll text you this time." He says with a small smile on his face.

"Good." I say as I start to open my door.

"You do, by the way."

"Sorry?" I turn before walking in.

"To answer your question. You do. But in a good way. Goodnight Y/N."

"Goodnight Spencer."

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I love this so much.

taglist: @darkenwolfie @justlivinginadaydream @daddy-dotcom @itsametaphorbriansblog @rosesandlavendertea @4karaa @lockwoods-coat-and-reids-vests

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.103 Every day I'm hustlin'

For the next week, I hustled harder than ever. I went to every spa I knew of and taught 2-3 classes a day. I even went back to our gym in Willow Creek to see about teaching, but they had a full-time instructor. We were in no way hurting financially, but I hadn't worked since we got engaged. And honestly? My work activities slowed significantly when I moved in with Sophia. I wanted to spend time with her and be home when she arrived, but she got off work so early it just threw off my whole day. The money tree was in progress and my SimTube video was still doing great, so I didn't have to work so hard. But I felt compelled to, especially after our last conversation about the money tree and my family history. I had to ensure my family would be set up for success by doing any and everything I could while I had few obligations. I didn't enjoy getting home late and seeing my wife only a few hours a day, but I was willing to sacrifice for a short while.

One morning, I woke up and caught Sophia doing push-ups outside. When we chatted on Social Bunny back in the day, she always talked about how much she loved fitness, but I never saw evidence of that when I moved in. Her job sucked the life out of her, leaving her too physically and emotionally drained to do the things she loved. But she was free now and started prioritizing her health and wellness. Her delicious curves would start slowly disappearing, and I mourned my loss but took solace in knowing she'd be happier and healthier.

An idea fell on me, so I went outside to greet her.

"Good morning, my sweet."

I grabbed her hand and kissed it so over-the-top dramatic like they did in the old movies.

"You're awfully romantic this morning!"

That was a new one. I never saw myself as a romantic.

"I'm going to teach at the Desert Bloom Resort today. Would you like to come?"

"Really? You want me there?"

I chuckled.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know... Some sims get nervous about friends and loved ones seeing them in action."

"Oh. Well, that's definitely not me, seeing as I used my friends and family to get started."

"Okay then! Let me text Rashidah. She was gonna come by this afternoon, but I'll tell her to come later."

We ate, got dressed, and headed to the spa. The class was almost full, which made me happy, but I never had so many sims unwilling to try. Like, I knew everyone came with varying levels of fitness, and I never did complicated routines because of that. Alternate poses existed for that very reason, but half of my class just stood there. Why pay and not participate? It must be nice to have money to waste.

Sophia had taken a mat in the back, so I couldn't see her very well. But every time I caught a glimpse of her, she struggled. By the end of class, she looked miserable.

"Everything hurts," she said. "I pulled muscles I didn't even know I had!"

I didn't enjoy seeing her miserable, but her talking about muscles she didn't know she had made me chuckle a little. I knew just the thing to cheer her up.

"Come with me."

I led her upstairs to the massage rooms and found a masseuse who wasn't busy.

"Hi," I said.

"Oh, hey. You're the yoga guy, right?"

"Yeah, I'm Luca. This is my wife, Sophia. Would you mind if I borrowed your table? I'll pay if-"

"Have at it, bro. I get paid the hour. But if you don't mind, I'm gonna stay in the room. Can't let them see me slacking, ya know?"

"Sophia? Do you mind if she stays?"

"Not at all! This is so exciting and romantical!"

She changed into a towel and hopped on the table, and I attempted to melt away her pain.

I wondered why she thought it was romantic, though. Was it because of her history? Or was it mine? I had an unused skill, and my wife had a need. Was being a good husband romantic? Regardless, I was glad she enjoyed the massage. Too bad weren't alone, though. I could have massaged everything and made sure she had a very happy ending. But I behaved, and Sophia left feeling much better. Maybe I should get a table for the new house....

She wanted to check out the rest of the facility as she'd never been before, so I went downstairs to the gym. The punching bag made me remember me, Maia, and Dub's debate about the best exercise, and I told him I gained all my muscle from yoga, never lifting weights or punching a bag. I went a few rounds, and it was honestly kind of fun. I let out steam I didn't know I had and felt my muscles engaging and contracting so much I knew if I kept it up I'd be walking around looking like Llama Man. No disrespect to him, but the superhero look was not for me. The weights and punching bag would have to remain an occasional activity.

Rashidah came by later, just like Sophia said. I didn't want to be rude and ignore her, but I also didn't want to be all up in their business, so I stayed and chatted with them for a little while before excusing myself. It occurred to me I hadn't checked on the money tree in a while, so I hurried outside to see if it was okay.

Good thing I caught it when I did because it was full of weeds, and the leaves had withered. The soil was still pretty damp from my initial watering, so I guess the weeds were choking it out. I never aspired to be a gardener. Apart from Mama making me water and weed her soy plants, I didn't know a thing about it or care. But my family's future now required me to get on board. Luckily, I only had one tree to tend, not an entire garden. I could manage that for a lifetime of financial freedom.

[mystic-writings]

right where you left me (no choice but to stay here forever)

PAIRING — wilbur soot x fem!reader

SUMMARY — wilbur sees you, his ex, at your favourite café three years after breaking up with you

WARNINGS — angst, hurt/no comfort, a little fluff

WORD COUNT — 2,281

SONG — right where you left me - taylor swift

NOTES — this was supposed to be a reggie peters fic from two years ago but uh. well now it’s this i guess

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It’s been ages since Wilbur’s been back to the Harbour Café - over two years, to be exact. He felt like he was an entirely different person compared to the last time he walked through the door, and he wasn’t sure if it was for the better or for the worse. 

The last time he was here, he was with you. Just a boy, barely a man, with the woman he loved. There was nothing special to the outing - classes were cancelled due to a strike and you both slept in, spending an hour just laying together in bed before getting breakfast here. You had insisted on getting a cupcake despite it being mid-morning, and he couldn’t help but wonder if things would always be like this for him. 

Now, he was walking in as a famous streamer, working on an album with his band. It was the entire reason he was in town, after all. Well, that and to visit George. 

Near silence filled the cafe, aside from the chatter of the few patrons and employees that mixed with the music and machinery operating behind the counter. It felt odd to be back, like Wilbur didn’t know where to stand, put his hands, or what to do with himself. His eyes wandered for a place to sit, and in the back corner, he spotted someone he didn’t think he’d ever see again.

You were sitting in a booth at the back wall, tucked closely into the corner of the cafe, near the pastry case. The sun shone in through the windows, highlighting you as you turned the page of a book - one that Wilbur recognised instantly. It was your favourite. In fact, it was the special edition he bought for you for your birthday; the last one you spent with him. The only thing on the table in front of you was a mug. 

Like there was some invisible string pulling him along, Wilbur moved past the counter entirely, and quietly slid into the seat across from you. It was an idiotic thing to do, especially with how things ended, but he couldn’t help it. He needed to talk to you, even if it didn’t end well. He needed to have just one more conversation with you. 

You barely registered that someone had sat across from you, but when you finished the page you were reading and glanced up, an immediate shock of pain jolted through your chest. Your mouth ran dry as you tried to process the sheepish look on Wilbur’s face as he sat across from you with his hands tucked into his lap. 

Swallowing, you finally gained the will to say something, but all you could say was his name. It broke coming out, quiet and breathless, like a final whisper of a life left behind, haunting. 

“Didn’t know you were still around,” he said, voice small. 

You nodded, sliding an old receipt into the book and placing it on the table, next to your full cup of coffee - definitely cold by now. You had yet to touch it. You never did. You never would. “I, uh, decided to stick around. Couldn’t bring myself to go, I suppose.” 

“I get it,” he nodded, gnawing on his lip and avoiding your gaze. When he finally did look up, you could barely maintain eye contact. “How’ve, uh-” he cleared his throat, speaking louder, “how’ve you been?”

“As good as I can be.” You shrugged. 

“That’s good.” Wilbur muttered, nodding his head as he pursed his lips. He didn’t know what to say. “How’s everything been?” He said it slowly, like he was unsure of his words. 

“Uh- good, I think. I’m working now, doing well with that. My sister’s married now; had a baby in June.” 

Wilbur’s brow raised, a smile slowly taking over his face. “Has she? I always liked Mark. Wonderful lad.” 

You nodded, wrapping your hands around the cold mug before you. “Yeah. He’s been wonderful to her this whole time. And me. Helped me get work. Their daughter looks just like him.” 

“That’s lovely.” Wilbur said as he leaned forward, placing his clasped hands on the tabletop. “I’ve been doing pretty good, myself. That streaming thing sort of took off, and I’m making music now.” 

“I know.” You admitted with a shrug, smiling sheepishly at Wilbur’s confusion. “I’ve always supported you, Wilbur, you know that. No matter what. I knew you had it in you. And I… I’m proud.” 

“You’re proud?” 

“Yes. I’m proud of you, Wilbur.” You told him. “It doesn’t matter how we ended or… what happened. I always will be. And I like your music, by the way.” He downturned his gaze, a blush forming on his face. “Though, I have to say, the melody for Jubilee Line sounds familiar.”

He could see the knowing look on your face. He’d played the melody for you a few times before, but he never read you the lyrics. He didn’t have any for a long time, not until after you’d broken up. But he could see that shine in your eyes. The one that told him that you knew. You were imbued into that album. Every line, every note, every beat, you were there. And so was his pain. His regret. The regret he still had for leaving you. 

He only nodded, letting the silence settle for a moment. He didn’t know what to say anymore. He never did with you. You were so high above him, so wonderful and ethereal to him, that even in the years you spent together, he never felt like he was able to appease you. To make you happy. But he did. More than he could ever know.

“So, other than all that, how’ve you been?” You asked, picking at the skin on your fingers. “When things… I mean, you weren’t in the best place.” 

“Better.” Wilbur said. The word was so final, punctual. “I sort of… I dunno, I realised what a shitty person I was after you were gone.” He shook his head, almost scoffing. “It took a lot to get to a point where I was okay with going to therapy, but I did. I still am. And I’m sorry, for the way I treated you. You didn’t deserve it. Any of it.” 

You reached out, resting a hand on his clasped ones. It was the first contact he’d made with you in years, and it still radiated comfort. Your hands were cold, and Wilbur recalled how they never were. He remembered how you always stuck them under his shirt or into his own hands, just for a semblance of warmth to comfort you. “It’s okay, Wilbur. I understand, more than anyone.”

Wilbur unclasped his hand and took yours in one of his, unable to stop it from shaking as he did. His large hand wrapped around your smaller one, and almost instinctively he tried to warm it up. His mind was reeling, wondering, thinking, of where you would be if he hadn’t done what he did. If he hadn’t forced you out. 

Would you be married? Would you have been considering kids by now, or would you already have one? Would your life have mirrored the perfect picture of your sisters? He had plans for you both. For your future. But he let his own mind get in the way of it. 

It didn’t help that he was planning to propose. The ring sat, every day, at the bottom of a drawer in his desk where he streamed from. It gnawed at him 24/7, feeding his already poor mental state with constant anxiety. It tore at him until he couldn’t take it anymore. And he regrets it every day. 

“I’m sorry.” Wilbur whispered, voice trembling as he hung his head. “I’m so sorry.” 

You gripped his hand as tight as you could manage, reaching your other one out as well. Hearing his voice, so thick with tears like it had been so many times before you broke up, tore at your still broken heart. “It’s okay. It’s okay. I forgive you, Wilbur.” 

He gulped, squeezing back, sniffling and clearing his throat before he looked back at you, eyes a little more red than they were before. “I, uh, I feel like I’ve got some things to tell you. I think you deserve to know them, you know?”

Your heart jumped and your stomach twisted, waiting for whatever Wilbur had to tell you. It didn’t sound good, or like it would benefit you in any way, but you nodded anyway, clinging to Wilbur’s hands and the warmth they provided like a lifeline. 

You nearly died when his thumbs started stroking the backs of your hands. 

“I had plans for us. For the future. With you.” He told you, and you froze. “There was a ring, I was hiding it in the bottom drawer in my desk for months. Four feet from where you slept. And sometimes I considered just proposing to you in the middle of the night, just to get it over with and be happy with you, you know? But I never could, and it made things worse, all that anxiety.” 

You stifled a noise, a mixture between a laugh and a sob caught in your throat. 

“And I was gonna wait until I got more money from streaming to have the wedding, so I could give you as big of a wedding as you wanted and we wouldn’t have to worry about anything.” He gulped, pausing for a moment to blink tears away. “And I wanted kids with you. A house, a cat- or whatever animal you wanted, really- and a life. Something that meant something to us. Whatever you wanted. And I just- God, I was an idiot. And I threw it away.” 

This time, you laughed, wet and sad, soft and quiet. You squeezed Wilbur’s hands, short and bittersweet. You were the one to pull away, wiping a tear from Wilbur’s cheek, hand lingering on his skin. He leaned into it, breathing deeply as he did, resisting the urge to plant a kiss on the corner of your palm. 

For a moment, Wilbur could believe he was back there. Before he ruined everything for himself - for you. He could trick himself into thinking he was back in that old apartment, sunset painting the bedroom walls gold, your cold hands warming his heart even with the simplest touch. 

But he couldn’t be there forever. Neither could you. Both of you had people that needed you, that loved and cared for you, independent of one another. And Wilbur had someone he cared about, too. 

And she wasn’t you. 

As much as he wishes she was. 

So, he pulled back, taking a second, clearer breath in and opening his eyes. His hand pulled away from yours, landing back in his lap. The cold leeched back into your skin immediately, missing the warmth Wilbur provided. You shrunk back, too, and the moment was over. It was like the conversation you’d just had with Wilbur didn’t happen, and you were back to the beginning. 

You knew what he was trying so hard not to tell you. It was written within the guilt on his face. “How’d you meet her?”

Wilbur looked up. “What? How did you-”

“Don’t worry about it, Wil. It’s fine.” You lied, shrugging your shoulders with casualty as if some part of you didn’t just break down within. “It doesn’t surprise me, you know. I mean, it’s been two years.” 

“We met a few months after I left.” He muttered, pushing the hair from his eyes. “I remembered that you told me about how you got your feelings out with art sometimes, and the university offered night classes. So I went. She was there, next to me, and we had a lot of fun.” He told you, and you felt another piece of the heart you worked so hard to rebuild fall off. “We got each other through lockdown, too. We started dating last May. I mean, she doesn’t quite approve of my career, but it pays the bills, so,” He shrugged, and your heart tore in two.

“That’s,” you started, clearing your throat when you felt your voice about to betray you. “That’s nice, Wilbur. I’m glad.”

The man before you only nodded. The silence settled between you again, neither of you two knowing where to go with the conversation anymore. Neither of you looked at the other, the guilt and heartbreak that was resurfacing and healing all at once being too much for either of you to stomach. 

Until, the bell rang at the top of the door and shoes squeaked against the tile. “Wilbur! Jesus, man, when you said this place was hard to find, you weren’t wrong. Google maps rerouted me twice, and I was walking.”

Both you and Wilbur looked up at the brunet that was approaching your booth. His cheeks were flushed and his smile wide, until it faded seeing you with your ex. 

“Oh, uh, sorry, I didn’t realize-”

“It’s okay, George.” Wilbur gave the man - George - a tight smile. “Y/n’s an old friend.” 

“I should get going,” you said, grabbing your book from the tabletop. Offering a tight smile to Wilbur and a polite one to George, you slid from the booth. “It was nice to see you again, Wilbur. Really. I wish you the best.” 

He smiled back at you, sad and slight, but it was a smile nonetheless. 

With a nod to George, you turned to leave the cafe, catching the whispers of George asking Wilbur who you really were. You were just glad you didn’t hear his answer.

hba taglist: @z0vamp @blancastans

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[tangyangie]

Hii! Honestly thank you for all your works!, they’re so good and feel so accurate, you embody the characters so well😫‼️.

I dont know if ur taking requests right now but i was wondering if you could do a karma x enfp reader head-cannons? I saw you did an isfp one, idk if you’ve done any other, but Thats alright if not of course!

Reader is really bubbly and loud, she makes alotta dirty and crude jokes with Rio and similarly, she has good grades she just doesnt try. She’s girly (loves being feminine) but that doesnt stop her from getting dirty, Shes very much a hopeless romantic and goes feral for some loving.

— 𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀 𝐗 𝐄𝐍𝐅𝐏 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 ⊹

desc. karma x enfp!fem!reader, who's loud, playful, and talkative, yet stubborn, smart, and romantic.

notes. i'm preeeetty sure i'm an enfp (or infp), so a lot of these traits reminded me of myself!! so, this one was pretty easy to write, and i hope you like it!!

he's drawn to you from the beginning.

you're funny and joke about everything with him. oh, someone fell out of a tree? oops, you guys are literally on the floor.

you guys never have a dull moment. you always have something to talk about, and your conversations usually end up lasting hours.

physical touch is biggg for you guys. it's rare to see you guys not hugging or being close in some way.

he loves your outfits. no matter what you wear, though, he will be completely infatuated by you but he does like seeing you in dresses.

he picks you up a lot. piggy-back rides, carrying you bridal style, over the shoulder... any way that your feet aren't touching the ground.

you guys bounce around a lot. like, people mistake you as children for how energetic you guys are—you're constantly running around places.

you guys are constantly texting. it's kind of funny how much battery is wasted, even though you two are in the same room.

you guys also play gamepigeon a lot together. you've both gotten really good at the word games, and you're constantly competing. your screen is lit up like a christmas tree because of just how much you guys play together.

karma and you are both stubborn, and so you guys are like a rainbow brick wall with bubble guns at the top. it's the most accurate description of your personalities together that i can give.

when it comes to school, you guys are one and the same. you've got good grades and stuff, but you do not pay attention.

you will have an assignment that was given at the beginning of the week, and you're finishing it literally morning of. and then you get a perfect score.

you guys spend a lot of time outside together. whether that's looking for cats in sidewalks, going to playgrounds and parks, or finding a lake and skipping rocks together. you guys definitely feed the ducks, too.

you kiss him a lot. he definitely doesn't mind—he welcomes it. while, of course, throwing in a few teasing phrases.

you guys make a lot of dirty jokes together. it's crazy you guys haven't been reported to the police for the amounts of looks you guys have gotten.

you guys collect stuff for each other. you collect stamps and he collects rocks, so you guys trade each other stuff. if someone doesn't have enough to trade, you pay in affection.

you guys climb on stuff a lot. it's a normal occurrence to see you guys on the roof or hanging off a window of a 6-floor tall apartment building.

notes: every time i write these i get reminded of my nonexistent social life 🫶

also i'm so sorry for taking so long ☹️ been feeling v unmotivated to write but i did see the spider-man movie so i'm feeling much better (and in love w miles oh m y god)

[saragrekey]

little art chat before I go to sleep… this is nothing important just a thought dump/update/blogpost idk

So we’re a little over a week into my junior year of college and as expected! I don’t want to do my schoolwork I just want to draw lol.

When I first started my whole -drawing everyday to improve- thing last summer, I was just drawing pinterest faces, so I’d spend 30 minutes in the morning doing a sketch and that would fill my quota for the day. Now that I’m learning how to draw from imagination, my goals are so much more lofty and I have a lot more to practice. Which is been so fun!

But maybe too fun!

I’m struggling to pull my focus away from drawing. This was already an issue during the summer when I didn’t have many responsibilities, and now I obviously have a lot more on my plate. And I just cannot bring myself to focus on school.

Which is something I’ve struggled with for awhile, I’m just completely burnt out of the cycle of working at maximum capacity and pulling all nighters for an exam or critique over and over again. I’m just very over it, lol, but on the same note, I have such deep rooted anxiety about getting in trouble for not having my work or getting a bad grade. So you can see the predicament I’m in!

Idk. I’m not very smart or gifted when it comes to school but I got good grades in high school without having to study, so I just never figured out how to really learn and study correctly. Every assignment, lesson, exam is just a task to be completed, not building upon a collection of knowledge. Why would I review the course a little bit each day when I can cram it all the night before the exam and get the same grade? /j

A lot of it is of course just skills I gotta develop. I definitely need to improve my discipline and time management.

This was not meant to be about school lol. But all that to say, I just can’t seem to care about my homework, and improving my art is infinitely more important to me. But that’s obviously not how it works. I have that thing where I crave routine but can’t stick to one. I daydream about having a super nice organized routine where I can fit a couple hours of practice here and enough time for homework and maybe a little time for video games every once and awhile. I miss video games.

Hopefully I’ll find my footing as we progress through the semester. If you see me start talking about doing any kind of inktober, yell at me bc I definitely don’t have time for it 😭

I’ve not posted any art in awhile! I have been going through a bit of a rusty patch, kinda from school disrupting my life and also I got sick this weekend so I didn't really draw at all. I think the current stage I'm at is really committing what I've learned this summer to memory, to kinda have this basic style to draw from. Because it's like, I have the knowledge but if I don't reinforce it I will forget lol. My next big focus is I want to improve on expressions and overall adding more character to my sketches. I feel like rn a lot of my drawings just look like dolls.

All this to say, I did not do my accounting homework I drew Amphibia fanart instead lol. Here’s a time skip Marcy doodle for reading. It’s actually a few weeks old but I really like it, I feel like the 3-dimensionality of her face is right.

Ok bye love u have a good day!!

[liu-anhuaming]

so i ended up sending that letter detailing all of my grievances dating back to high school to my parents yesterday morning, and as of now (36 hours since sending the email) i've heard absolutely nothing in response

i'm putting the rest under the cut in case y'all don't wanna see me spilling my guts about my bad relationship with my mom and possible abuse?

after a lot of thinking this past week, i realized that the idea of never speaking to my mom every again makes me feel giddy. my therapist was saying i shouldn't rush into this, but i don't think i am? this week isn't even the first time i've thought of going no-contact with my mom, but it's the first time it's been this close to becoming a reality. the thought has gone through my mind multiple times over the past year or so, but i always brushed it off as something that wasn't likely to happen

after weighing all the pros and cons, it just feels like the right thing to do, but i don't know how i should tell her, and i'm afraid of how she'll react

i'm also suddenly full of self-doubt, and a feeling that as bad as my mom was to me, she and my dad were still good parents and provided for me while i was growing up, and after everything they've done wanting to go no-contact makes me selfish and ungrateful, and all sorts of other negative thoughts. a lot of the guild and doubt i'm feeling is definitely me hearing my mom's voice in my head, and i'm trying to push it away

i told my brother i was thinking of doing this, and he said that while it's sad it's come to this, he supports my decision and has my back no matter what i decide. that's definitely helped me pull away from my self-doubt

I was also talking about this all with my coworker (we've spent a lot of time bonding over our terrible mothers), and she used the word "abuse" to describe how my mom treated me. that gave me major pause, bc i've never thought of my mother as abusive. in my mind, she's a terrible person but not abusive. but then today i was doing some googling, and it turns out a lot of the stuff she did can be classed as emotional abuse, so. yeah. that's a lot to process

but no matter what, my relationship with my mom is fucked. the idea of talking to her on the phone is horrifying, and the thought of visiting home fills me with dread and anxiety. whenever i'm home, i feel like i'm walking on eggshells, bc any slip-up means starting a fight with my mom. i absolutely don't feel comfortable sharing anything with her about my mental health or my feelings (bc she's always trivializing them), so when we do talk once a week i'm basically just telling her how my work week was and what the weather's like where i live. that's barely even a relationship

and when i think about the possibility of her changing and becoming a better person, i just don't care? like it's great if she actually internalizes what i'm saying in my letter, but for me it's too little too late. i've already spent the past decade trying to get through to her, and she never listened, so now i just feel done with it all

idk, but if i still don't hear from my parents by tomorrow afternoon, i'll be breaking the silence myself and calling them. bc i am not trying to have a major fight with my mother on a weekday night, where i'll probably spend a bunch of time crying, and then i'll have to go to work the next morning feeling like ass. the advantage of doing it on a sunday morning is that i have the whole rest of the day to feel like shit

[simmerdowndee]

uni_dayz episode twelve part eight

It’s our last night in Tomarang. Earlier today, we all went shopping around the tourist/market district. I found some very pretty jewelry and trinkets to take back with me. Theo tried to buy me everything I saw but I had to remind him, he still needed money for when he goes back to Windenburg. Sadly, he won’t be able to just come home with me.

Later that night, Theo asks me to get ready as he has a surprise for me. I’m not sure what he has planned to see, but most places are closed at this point.

We leave the house, and he takes me back to the resort club we were at earlier, but this time its only us and he set a romantic dinner for us.

Dakota: Awhh, Theo.

Theo: I wanted to do something special for you. We haven’t been on a real date in a while….

Theo: Here, let’s sit.

Dakota: This is really sweet babe.

Theo: I just wanted some alone time with you, without the group seeing I have to go back tomorrow.

Dakota: *Sighs* 

Theo: But I’ll be back home in 2 weeks.

Dakota: I know.

Theo: Let’s not worry about that right now. Let’s just enjoy the night.

Dakota: My favorite bottle again.

Theo: Its actually pretty good, you have good taste.

I know.

Theo and I spent the night talking about things we missed with each other while he was away. It seems like he enjoyed the program.

We talked about my clerkship and time at the firm. He was really proud that I was able to work on a that case.

I told him about how my mom and dad have been seeing each other and think I have no idea. They aren’t really good at being secretive.

It felt so normal to just be out with him and talk like we normally do. Once we finished dinner, Theo said he had one last thing for me.

We ended up at this private rental a few mins from ours.

Dakota: Why are we here?

Theo: I figured we could stay here tonight, so we can be alone.

Dakota: Theo, this looks very expensive.

Theo: I’m not worried about the money; I just want to spend time with you.

How much money is that program paying him?

When we get to our room, we put our stuff down and head to take a bath. It was so relaxing. Afterwards, we get ready for bed.

Dakota: Theo, now that we are back together, I wanted to talk to you about something.

Theo: Is everything okay?

Dakota: Yeah, I just want this to start off very clean, with everything on the table.

Theo: Okay.

Dakota:  For about 6 months, Noah and I dated.

Dakota: We never had sex, but we did date.

Dakota: We broke up because he knew I wasn’t over you….

Theo: I know baby.

Um, how the hell does he know?

Theo: Who do you think called me to come here?

nofuckingway

Dakota: That’s how you knew where we were.

Theo: Noah called me late the night before I got here and asked if I wanted to join you guys. He met me at the airport bar when I arrived, and he told me everything.

Theo: It was literally perfect timing because I was missing you really bad. So, I got on the next flight to be with you.

Dakota: You traveled over 9 hours in the middle of the night, because you wanted to be with me?

Theo: And I’d do it again.

Theo: We should’ve never broken up. That was the stupidest shit I’ve ever done.

Theo: I missed out on so many moments with you.

Theo: I hurt you & I’ll never forgive myself.

Dakota: Baby.

Well, if I didn’t believe him before, I definitely believe him now when he said he missed me.

Theo: I don’t ever want to lose you again. I love you, Dakota. I love you so much. I’m so sorry again.

Dakota: I love you too Theo. I forgive you.

We enjoyed the rest of the night with each other seeing it will be our last for 2 weeks. I don’t want it to end, I don’t want to go back home.

The next morning…

We’re all at the airport getting ready to head back home. I’m pretty sad because I finally got Theo back and I still have to be without him for a little while longer…

Theo and I are just going to hang out until my flight is ready to depart. He departs after mine.

Across the room

Laura: Look at them. They are so damn happy with each other. That’s all she needed.

Laura: Which is why you called him, huh?

Noah: I don’t know what you are talking about….

Laura: Mhm. You really did love her. So much that you put your own feelings aside to make her happy.

Noah: I told you; her heart is back where it belongs.

Back to Theo and Dakota

Dakota: Hey, where did you go? Is everything okay with your flight?

Theo: Yes, actually perfect. I have a surprise for you.

Dakota: What?

Theo: I talk to the customer service, and they were able to switch your flight, so that you’re ending destination is Windenburg…

Dakota: Wait, you want me to come with you?

Theo: I think we’ve been apart for long enough.

Theo: I was even able to get the seat next to me, so we can sit next to each other.

Dakota: Theo, are you serious?!!?

Theo: I didn’t want to have to wait to see you again.

Dakota: I love you.

Theo: I love you too babe.

Dakota: Let me go say bye to Laura and Noah.

I head over to tell them the news.

Laura: You say your temporary goodbyes?

Dakota: Actually, I’m not going home with you guys….

Laura: Wut.

Dakota: Theo wants me to come back to Windenburg with him. He got my flight changed.

Noah: That’s exciting Koda.

Laura: How you just gone abandon us?

Dramatic Laura strikes again.

Dakota: I will see you guys in two weeks when we both get back.

Dakota: Noah, can I talk to you before you go?

Noah: Of course.

Noah and I go off to the side.

Dakota: I just wanted to say thank you.

Noah: For what?

Dakota: For bringing Theo here. You didn’t have to do that.

Noah: I meant what I said to you Koda.

Dakota: What’s that?

Noah: I want to make you happy.

Goddamn it Noah.

Dakota: I’m so happy you are my best friend.

Noah: Am I now over Laura?

*Dakota laughs*

Dakota: Thank you again. I’ll see you back in Britechester soon.

Noah: Enjoy Windenburg.

I give Noah a kiss on the cheek and head back to Theo. Laura and Noah are getting ready to board. I’m excited to see Windenburg but most of all, experience it with the love of my life.

[i-love-an-alcoholic]

Devil's lettuce

I used to smoke weed almost daily. I never saw anything wrong with it: it's not considered a hard drug and it has legitimate medical uses. I used to love weed: after all, it causes mild to moderate euphoria and who doesn't like that? However, excessive weed smoking has negative side effects, to which I was completely oblivious until I got sober and gained some perspective.

Weed is addictive.

Not in the same way as cocaine or opioids, but it's definitely habit-forming. After a while you develop a tolerance and will need bigger doses to get the desired effect. Eventually you don't even get high from it: you just feel normal or slightly hazy.

My old pal Shitty Boyfriend was a bona fide weed addict. When he had some he would smoke constantly, he wasn't above theft if he happened to know where your stash was and he absolutely refused to do anything without it. I once tried to get him to go to a buffet restaurant with me, but he refused because, you guessed it, he had no weed ("It goes to waste without munchies!"). When he was out of it he would complain loudly, scrape his bong and smoke that disgusting shit (I don't know the english term for it). He was obese, had the attention span of a goldfish and had no real interests besides weed, video games and junk food. He was also in deep denial about all the negative things in his life: as long as he had benzodiazepines and means to get high everything was fine.

Weed worsens depression and other mental conditions.

I've been on a smorgasbord of antidepressants in an attempt to treat my mental issues. At one point I stopped taking them and tried to treat myself with weed. It didn't go well at all: it didn't make me any happier and didn't treat the underlying cause which was borderline personality disorder. It made my mood swings worse: I'd get irrationally angry and would throw things, slam doors, snap at people etc. I would wake up in the morning sort of hung over, with seething rage at everything under the sun (I once told a coworker to fuck off when she said good morning to me… wonder why I got in trouble at work). Not exactly a herb of peace.

Weed disrupts your sleep cycle.

After quitting all drugs I had insomnia for weeks. I believe this was caused by weed, because I had used it as a sleeping aid for a very long time (to be fair it doesn't help much with amphetamine downs). I found out the hard way why that was a bad idea: only after getting my medications in order could I sleep again. Other thing I've noticed is that weed affects dreaming: I used to have vivid dreams but weed took them away, and they haven't completely returned.

The effects last longer than you'd think.

The stoner stereotype is very much true, and the stoner isn't even high all the time. As I stated in the previous paragraph, I smoked before bedtime. In the morning, after 8-10 hours of sleep I was still hazy, slow and absent-minded, almost like I hadn't slept too well. At work I was forgetful and would make mistakes all the time, despite not being intoxicated. This became my "normal" state, which wasn't good at all. From time to time I would spend a week or two without smoking and would revert back to my old self, but I was so aversive of being sober that I went back to being a stoner as soon as I got the chance.

I cringe at myself when I think about what I did to my brain.

Weed is very much illegal where I live and I don't expect it to be decriminalized or legalized anytime soon. I do support medicinal use and decriminalisation, but I wouldn't go as far as legalizing it. In my opinion it is a drug and should be treated as such, legal or not, and it certainly isn't the health product some people make it out to be. I don't judge people for smoking. Hell, I probably won't say no if I'm being offered some even though I probably should, but I think it's important to talk about the negative side as well, just to help people make an informed decision.

[tekni-kali]

Day 25

09:40p, Tuesday May 23, 2023

Today has been filled with so many emotions!! I'm having trouble even getting started with this post, even though I know I want to sit down and type it out...my mind won't sit still and pick a starting point...Maybe I'll try from beginning to end...and hopefully the journey will be rewarding...

I woke up before the alarm went off....actually Nugget's yowling at the bedroom door woke me up first. He stopped when he heard me rustle around and crawl out of bed. Before sitting down at my workstation to begin the day, I washed dishes and made breakfast - I really don't think I should like hot pockets and grits as much as I do buuuut it's a quick meal and it's something to take meds with sooo moving on.

I made tea after breakfast and drank it slowly as I fell into the rhythm of work and began making progress on the day's task. We had a mandatory training meeting from 10-11 and Behb was up n about by the time it was over. I took an early lunch and we adventured to Whole Foods to pick up fresh greens for Mary Shelley (I got food from the hot bar...I think that was the first time I ever got it too...it was okay, but not worth the $16, IMO) We made it back within the hour and I was once again consumed by hyper-fixation to complete my task. Even though I wasn't paying much attention to him, I appreciated that he came to doodle and spend the rest of his morning on the couch in the living room with me. :)

He headed off to work around 2:10 and I worked until 6p. At some point during the day, it started to rain - like actual rain rain, not just a 10 minutes drizzle. I was very excited to open the windows and let the smell of fresh wet earth leak into the apartment. By the end of the day, I felt good about the progress I'd made and even let my manager know how satisfying it felt to put a noticeable dent in the task. By that time though, I had to acknowledge that I had made it to a good stopping point and with Behb at work and no other reasonable excuse to stop me from going, I acknowledged that I was procrastinating before shutting everything down and heading off to get dressed.

The nervousness I'd spent much of the day trying to ignore was starting to become non-ignorable, but I was determined to see it through after talking myself into going over the past week. I got dressed, got in the car, drove 15 minutes south, and made it to the destination 10 minutes early. I navigated the signs and made my way up to the third floor, a security guard and a man near the elevator spotted me on the way and asked if I needed help. When I replied that I was looking for the Bipolar group, the man said he was heading that way too and we rode the elevator together. He was nice! We did small talk, I tried not to be too nervous but I'm pretty sure he could tell. There's no way I hid it all that well.

I was relieved to be one of the first two people there. Being in the room as it filled up vs walking in after already being full was definitely preferred...I felt even better when he admitted that it may be a smaller group today because of the rain. A small handful of people trickled in, they greeted each other with warmth and for whatever reason, that really helped my nerves settle down and dare I say that by 6:45, when it started, I actually felt....comfortable.

It was all the cheese - name tags, circular seating arrangements, "Hello, My Name is...", icebreaker, then share and discussion. And for what it's worth....the cheese worked. Though hard, it is not impossible to acknowledge that sitting in this circle, hearing these people talk about their weeks and what they're going through, getting my turn to talk, feeling supported while doing so, and feeling like the opportunity for a genuine connection with another human in the physical realm might actually be possible in this situation....whatever it is I'm trying to say in so many words....basically all boils down to....it helped.

I am glad I went. I want to go back. I want to go regularly. Every week if possible. I am proud of me for doing it. It was scary but my brain made it bigger than it needed to be and I hope I continue staying one step ahead of it...because I can tell that the weight of the things don't feel quite as heavy as they have been...or at the very least, maybe now I can more readily acknowledge the possibility that there may actually be a light at the end of the tunnel.....even if I don't where that end actually is. For now, at least, I can acknowledge that I know it's there...somewhere.

:)

-10:12p

[boopjuice]

I can't speak to the alternatives offered here, but I can speak to not joining the U.S. military from the perspective of a military brat.

I watched as my mother put her work above my siblings, me, and probably my dad too, hoping that if she just worked a little harder, a little longer, she could get that next promotion, she could move up and not have to work as hard and spend more time with us. I was there, watching but not allowed to interact with her as she went through DLI and tech school. I was there when she was deploying for six months at a time. I was there when she came home, devastated because her boss decided that she wasn't dedicated enough to make senior after giving over 20 years of her life to the military.

I was maybe eight when she sat down and told me that the military didn't care about our family. That we were just numbers on a list to someone thousands of miles away that would never see our faces or know our names. And she still left again and again. Some of the time the choice was out of her hands. Sometimes it wasn't.

I don't remember the house I was born in. I was told that my mom got orders to a different state, but my dad didn't, despite them being married by that time. My dad had to leave the military in order to take care of me and stay with my mom.

The second memory I have of my mom is a pre-recorded message of her telling me she has to be gone a little longer. I was barely two years old. She was crying.

I was six when my mom started DLI. She had a spot in the house dedicated to her. It was her desk and her computer, and she would spend any time not cooking, eating, or sleeping studying at that desk. I wasn't allowed to bother her, talk to her, make too much noise.

I was seven the first time I remember having a mental breakdown. Dad got mad about something, definitely feeling the stress of having two kids as a stay-at-home, homeschooling parent, and he took it out on me. Yelled, screamed, terrified me. Mom wasn't there to see it. I don't think Dad thought much of it. Mom wasn't to be bothered. She had to study.

I was nine when I promised myself that I wouldn't make friends at my next home because I knew I would have to leave them behind eventually. I tried as hard as I could to avoid it, and I did a good job. I still have trouble making friends today.

I was ten when my mom started deploying regularly. It started as one or two months as a time. Then three. Then five or six. Her down time started getting smaller, once with only two months between her deployments. Sometimes she'd get back from a deployment only to go TDY a couple weeks later. Dad had to work and I was in public school for the second time in my life. We got a nanny, and when I said that she could come over for movie night like Mom I didn't understand why Dad was so upset.

I was eleven, at most, when I had to become the second parent. Set up breakfast, change the baby, do your chores, help get the two children in the car, watch them for a while while Dad goes to do something, keep them entertained at the bank once a month so we can pay our rent, etc. Mom was still deploying, and when she wasn't deploying she was flying every other day. Six hour flights. Twelve. More. Two or three times a week, she'd have to drug herself in the early afternoon so she could get up early in the morning to fly. It was around that time I started to really understand that she might not come home one day.

I was thirteen when I found out she could choose some of her deployments. She chose to leave for a long one a few months after the Twins were born. She would miss their first birthday. She knew it. She cried on my shoulder for the first time when I found out. I couldn't feel angry until later. I had to take care of the Twins. Get them up, dressed, fed, in the car for the day's activities, I had to get my own schoolwork done too, once we got home. I was there the first time my brother had a seizure. The second time, too. She wasn't.

By the time we got to my most recent home, my ninth, I didn't know my mom. I knew her name, her face, her voice. I knew I missed her, I was always missing her, even when she was a room away. I knew I was angry at her, once she got back. She abandoned the parent role, left it to me to raise her kids, then got mad when I was reluctant to give back the one thing I'd had to distract me from missing her.

I was sixteen when she got denied that promotion, after putting her family second my whole life. I was seventeen when they gave her that promotion, too scared of losing her because they realized just how much she'd done.

They pulled my mother around to and fro as they pleased, strung her along by promising that she could advance, get paid more, get more for her family, if she just worked a little harder, gave a little more. They yanked all the rest of us around after her, uncaring of the pain they caused her, how exhausted she was, how it transferred onto us.

And my mom was Air Force. My biggest worry was that her plane would stop working and go down. I never worried about my mom getting shot at, or blown up, or taken by whoever she was told to fight against. I got off easy, as it goes. Plenty of other people don't. Sure, the military has resiliency events, tells the kids with a little pat on their heads "your mommy/daddy is doing an important job and it is good and right that they are not here because their job is too important for them to stay here with you."

When you hear that the first time, maybe it helps a little. When you hear that for the tenth time, you start to hate whoever is tearing your family apart. By the twentieth, you swear you're never going to be the reason anyone has to go to one of these stupid family resiliency events.

The military does not care about you. It never did, and it never will. They treat you like a chess piece and move you around as they please because you practically signed away your personhood for the duration you are enlisted.

Do. Not. Join. The U.S. military.