#good god i am Anxious

[chaos-coming]

Fuuuuck i put off printing important documents for my appointment tomorrow morning until the last minute and now my printer ran out of ink and Everywhere is closed i am so royally fucked!!

[mymarifae]

sooooooo when i jokingly said to myself "haha did ruan mei play aeonic necromancy on tingyun's remains or something" i wasn't expecting that to literally be the case what the fuck

[itspileofgoodthings]

I go off about Catholic/christian religious influencers of all kinds and I do so for many reasons but one of the main ones is just. the feeling they’re selling (and it is a feeling and they’re selling it, even if just for views) it doesn’t feel like that for everyone. That whole simplistic set-up of struggle struggle struggle, breakthrough, clarity, emotional peace, tears streaming down the face. That’s not real. Or at least it’s not real much of the time in MANY cases and even when it is real that isn’t the only part or the most important part of having a relationship with God. It’s probably the least important part, the feeling. and so it fills me with RAGE when the emotional part of religion is sold and packaged and paraded and presented on Instagram as “inspiration”! it distorts the whole reality of a relationship with God and puts a literal and figurative Instagram filter over the whole thing.

[lloydfrontera]

@togrieve4 put the idea in my head and now i can't stop thinking of theo being there when rakiel meets king harnant. of theo seeing how this man, proud and dignified the way a monarch has to be, cracks the moment his son's illness comes into play. how he broke down a door to see his child and how he has been counting the days since he last saw him. how it breaks his heart to have his kid hide away in his room but cannot bear to be cruel enough to force him out of it.

theo who went to beg his father to not humiliate his brother in front of thousands of people, to not be so cruel as to make his defeat a public affair to be gossiped about only to be immediately dismissed. theo who basically gave up on life and spent a year hidden away in his palace with an eating disorder that would've probably killed him if rakiel hadn't intervened. theo who must've known his father kept tabs on him,,, and that he never bothered to do anything about it.

i'm just. i'm thinking thoughts.

[crossbackpoke-check]

inspired by @colap1nto <3 and posting here to hold myself accountable: writevember! attempting to write something every day no matter how much and what it is

i am however inventing stipulations for myself so i cannot weasel my way out of it, which includes a valid definition of “write”:

actively put words into a document in the form of a proper fic!!! too many wip not enough hands!!

poems (actually laughed at me coming up with this but maybe i will go back to my roots)

research/meta/primers

tag stories are permissible IF i actually compile and edit them into a readable document that day

editing to post to ao3 (the optimism) is also valid. it takes me so long

i do have concrete arbitrary deadlines for one and a half fics that i would LOVE to finish and post in november (dewey^2 and [redacted :)]) so i’m hoping this helps!! also, this is secretly just a sticker chart where i get to put down emojis for each fic i worked on and check off boxes but a win is a win

day 1:🪻🐈‍⬛

day 2: 😇🤭 (🕒 -> 🕜)

day 3:🫃2️⃣

day 4: 🍎

day 5:🫃2️⃣

day 6: 📑, 💌

day 7:🫃2️⃣ AND ☁️💧. who is she

day 8:🪻🐈‍⬛

day 9:🫃2️⃣

day 10:🫃2️⃣

day 11:🫃2️⃣ we are on a STREAK and also a countdown 🫡

day 12:🫃2️⃣

day 13:🫃2️⃣

day 14: 📬💍

day 15: 😇🤭 (🕒 -> 🕜)

day 16:🫃2️⃣

day 17: 🔴 ⚫️,🫃2️⃣

day 18:🪻🐈‍⬛

day 19:🪻🐈‍⬛, 😇🤭 (🕒 -> 🕜)

day 20:🫃2️⃣

day 21:🫃2️⃣, 🤫 🪽🃏

day 22:🫃2️⃣

day 23: 💯❕

day 24: 🪢

day 25: 🐛🏮🦋

day 26: 🫃2️⃣

day 27: 🫃2️⃣

[yanderespamton78]

the current state of the arg

sorry guys the art isnt arting D:

(btw if youre confused on why i drew turnip like that i was referencing the picrew he did ages ago bc idk it looked fun to draw anddd i dont like taking reference off real life images)

[galaxywarp]

Now for the hardest part of the day …….. trying to relax

[gideonisms]

See I think if I'd been born a guy I wouldn't be this pathologically avoidant trying to plan my career because there are plenty of situations you can find as a cis man where you just Do Tasks in awkward silence and you can get to those as a woman but you have to go through the rings of hell socializing first and then besides, a lot of those jobs already have so many men that you stand out when the whole point was you Don't want to do that

[frecklystars]

I have another gig in a week and I'm so nervous 😭 I get paid hundreds of dollars for only five hours of work, but it is so nerve-racking and the work environment is so stressful, like literally every time I'm there I'm on the verge of tears or I have to take a 2 minute break before the show starts just to run to the restrooms and cry bc I get so stressed out. And then when I clock out I just cry my eyes out in my car while driving home. But hey!!! Hundreds of dollars!!! For five or six hours of my time!!! Only a few days a month!!! Hundreds!!! Of dollars!!! So it would be totally stupid to quit.

I wouldn't have been able to afford pampering myself on my last two F/O anniversaries (and currently placing an order for a rose bouquet for Six's anniversary for the 18th) if I didn't have this second job... but if it didn't pay me such a large amount of money each time, I probably would have quit by now bc it makes me so damn anxious. The show isn't even for one week and I'm sitting here stressing about it! I have one thousand other things to stress about and this job shouldn't be one of 'em 😤

I just keep trying to think about Ken hugging me while saying "Aw, sweet girl, don't be nervous! You JUST started this job, you've only worked three shows -- you think you're gonna be perfect your first try?? You're gonna be so good once you get the hang of it. Just look at me! I've been doing Beach for 62 years now, and I still don't know what my job is supposed to be... but I know I look So Cool™ 😎"

[lighthouseshepard]

.

[shireduchess]

;; ☁️

[crimeronan]

i used to not relate at all to the existential dread that's sorta ubiquitous for a lot people my age, which is mostly bc i've been dying for three-ish years, so i had fully made my peace with my life being over soon. like i was in a mindset a lot of people enter in hospice care where my body was winding down and i was just getting as comfortable as possible and being content with the life i'd already lived.

however.

now. that it looks like i could not only have, but also Enjoy... another 50 or 60 years on this earth.....

......HOOOOOOOOOOO BOY.

[melloneah]

2 days till my final exam rant in tags sorry i gotta let it spill somewhere 😭

[robertsbarbie]

i never feel unsafe when i go on walks with tucker because i know at the end of the day he will protect me (even though he’s a big softie) but today yall i was real worried!

[onrainynights]

I'm about to be so annoying btw

[laylanatorseventeen]

what they don't tell you about cat ownership is that at at least one point you will be a litter box creep who becomes obsessed with the amount and frequency with which your cat excretes waste because cats a) love to eat things they shouldn't and b) apparently have a direct feelings-to-bladder connection so if your cat gets stressed they can suddenly get a uti and so now you have to monitor your cat because if he stops being able to pee he will die. and what stressed him out? as far as I can tell: a week long visit by my sister WHO MY CAT HAS KNOWN FROM BIRTH