#gonna go try to distract myself until it's go time

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

Quite a Workout -Oneshot

Word count: 890

*angsty*

“Maybe if you weren’t so distracted by your own dick I wouldn’t have to put myself in the line of fire for you,” Y/N shouted back at him as she set up the equipment for her next exercise.  After a rough mission she felt the need to get out her leftover stress in the gym.

Bucky huffed angrily.  “Will you stop bringing up my boner?  Jesus, it’s not like I have any control over that.”

“Obviously,” Y/N snorted.  “During the middle of a mission while we’re dodging bullets and fighting for our lives?  You’ve got great timing.”  

Bucky glared at her before rolling his eyes and starting to walk away.  “Whatever.  I may have had an ill timed boner, but you were looking there, darlin’.”  

“Oh please,” Y/N laughed as she got situated on the bars.  She had been working on her captain’s chair leg raises, wanting to strengthen her core muscles.  She engaged her core and slightly grunted as she lifted her legs to a sitting position, most of her weight being held up by her arms and offset by her stomach muscles.  “What turned you on in the middle of a fight anyway, huh?  You like the danger?”  Her voice was strained as she held the position for a ten count then let her legs down.  “You’re sick.”

Bucky whirled back around and walked up to her as she started another set.  “I’m sick?  Says the one who was staring at my cock in the middle of choking out another dude with your thighs.”

Y/N smirked in triumph at his slip up as she let her legs back down, breathing heavily.  “Ah, so it was my thighs, huh?” she said knowingly, slightly leaning towards him with narrowed eyes.  “You liked watching me snuff out some guy with my thick, strong thighs?”

Bucky’s eyes widened and he slightly recoiled, blinking rapidly as Y/N laughed again.  She took another breath and started another set, lifting her legs up in a sitting position.  “You’re sadistic,” Bucky said as he watched her.  “You like humiliating others, even during their most vulnerable moments?  If anyone’s sick, it’s you.”  Y/N huffed, trying to keep count in her head and ignore him, her stomach starting to tremble at the effort.  “You drive me insane,” Bucky sneered, leaning toward her, dipping his head to catch her eye.  Y/N could tell that she’d really pissed him off, the fire in his eyes making a shiver run down her spine.  “I’m gonna ask for a mission partner reassignment.  I really thought as we worked together we could get past this weirdness, but apparently it’s one of God’s greatest jokes to make you just as insufferable as you are hot, you sick, twisted, sadistic, fucking bitch!”

Y/N wasn’t sure what happened next.  His words were hurtful, but for some reason the louder and angrier he got, the more turned on she was.  At the end of her ten count in her head she had felt the trembling in her stomach seemingly shoot down in between her legs, and as he finished yelling at her she relaxed her legs to stand and what felt like a mini orgasm rocked through her lower half.  She shuddered at the feeling, her mouth dropping open as she gasped and then moaned loudly in Bucky’s face as she felt a gush of her own slick dampen her panties and her leggings.

Bucky’s eyes widened comically at her, his eyes traveling down her body to see her shaking legs and twitching stomach.  His gaze moved back up to her face in shock.  “Did you just–”

“Don’t,” Y/N said desperately, her voice sounding like a whimper.  She averted her gaze from him and on wobbly legs ducked under the machine and around him, running out of the gym.  That did not just happen.  That did NOT just happen!  She kept running, losing track of where she was going until she ducked into an empty stairwell somewhere, doubling over and sobbing as she sank down to her knees.  Y/N wasn’t sure what she was feeling.  Embarrassment?  Yes.  Shame?  Definitely yes.  But there was something more.  It hurt what Bucky had said, and it hurt that he felt that way about her.  And it hurt that the humiliation had been turned back on her.  Did she…want him to like her?  Was that why she had teased and annoyed him this whole time?  She had been unable or unwilling to place her mixed emotions and took it out on him instead.  I am a fucking bitch, she thought, hugging herself as she cried.  Bucky deserved better than her as a mission partner.  She deserved this humiliation.  She wouldn’t blame him if he went around the whole tower and told everybody what happened.  Y/N slowly trudged up the few more flights of stairs to her floor, the discomfort of the wetness between her legs a constant reminder of her idiocy.  When she reached her room she bolted the door, giving Friday instructions not to let anyone in and to cancel all upcoming appointments and training, before stripping off her workout attire and getting in the shower.  She sank down to the shower floor after washing herself, crying as the water flowed over her.  Just a sick, twisted, sadistic bitch. 

[demigod-shenanigans]

Jason, Piper and Leo trying to play one of these elementary school jump rope games on the Argo 2

I was trying to figure out how to write this as a snippet however it’s been ages since I myself have last done a jump rope game and it turns out I have no idea what I’m doing so I hope it’s okay in headcanon/summary form instead! The good news is that way it’s gonna be a bit longer which I hope will be nice :)

-This is most definitely happening on the way from Camp Half-Blood to New Rome. Everyone’s got a lot of nervous energy and there is so much riding on all this and also Leo and Piper are about to meet Jason’s first family/former friends for the first time and everyone is stressed about it!

-Piper initially suggests it as a way for them to distract themselves and get some excess energy out. Leo is immediately down. Jason is just confused because he’s never done jump rope games before and asks if it’s a training exercise. Piper and Leo just stare at him

-Alternatively, if Jason is just pacing/wanting to be alone for a bit pre getting to New Rome, maybe Leo and Piper are doing it on their own at first (potentially like a Buddy Jumping thing where they both hold one end of the rope and try to jump synchronized. They’re very bad at it) and Jason eventually walks in on this and just stands there being all ????

-I think they have children’s games in New Rome to be clear I just don’t think jump rope is that common (also even if it was, Jason probably wouldn’t remember it due to the whole wiped memories incident combined with him being a child soldier/terminal workaholic)

-Either way, Leo promptly declares it’s his and Piper’s Sacred Duty to teach Jason jump rope games until they get to New Rome to help distract him

-Also for the record they’re not using an actual jump rope. Someone would have had to pack that and no one did. They’re using whatever kind of workshop rope Leo’s tool belt gave them when prompted.

-Piper and Leo swing for a bit and at first they’re really baffled that Jason seems to be way too good at this for someone who’s never done it before, until one of them is like hang on and suddenly notices Jason is just. Floating slightly above the ground so that’s why he has no trouble avoiding the swinging rope

-Jason does not understand what he’s doing wrong since he thought the point was just to avoid the rope. They explain it again and Jason is like “oh okay so it’s like a leg exercise thing I get it now” Leo has his head in his hands going “it’s not a training exercise dude it’s just for fun!”

-Jason is way worse now and also comments at least once that actually this isn’t even fun but he does kind of enjoy it and also just appreciates the distraction (he does totally still think of it as a sort of training exercise but honestly that probably just means he enjoys it more for that reason. Not that he’ll admit that to Leo and Piper tho)

-When Piper and Jason swing the rope for Leo, Leo keeps insisting that Jason use the winds to make the rope go faster because he’s good at this and wants to show off. It does not end well. Piper actually does better than Leo and he is very grumpy about it

-By the end of this whole thing they’re all in a heap on the floor tangled in the rope but they’re also laughing so that was totally worth it

[xxplastic-cubexx]

what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]

a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious

i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me

as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[raksh-writes]

Ugh, Im meeting up with some friends today and I Know its gonna be fun -- we’re going for some drinks, maybe food, and then to the theatre -- but right now Im sitting here stressing out like "the fuck, anxiety, could you give me a break??" this is ridiculous xd

[lesenbyan]

you know, I keep thinking about how much I'd get written if I had any self discipline at all and then like. doing nothing about it bc like. who's gonna enforce it? not me.

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

If I ever get around to making Moth Wizard you bet I'm making a role play account on here and specifying neither that it's the same Moth Wizard nor that it's run by the actual creator of Moth Wizard I'd just leave that for y'all to figure out

[phagodyke]

my supervisor AND my manager both aren't in today so I'm just practicing shit... im boored

[cursingtoji]

thinking about the first time toji gets to fuck you in your bedroom surrounded by stuffed animals. he knew you were a girly girl and he absolutely adored that about you, your always glossy lips, pink outfit and short skirts were what made him approach you at first.

being older and making more money than you, toji had a better apartment, a spacious and nicely located flat, so the first few encounters were always there until things started to get serious and he asked to go to your place tonight.

toji was far from surprised when you opened the door and he was welcomed to a colourful living room and a sweet vanilla smell, he noticed a couple teddy bears by the couch and a few action figures next to the tv, but as soon as you started to make out on the couch you got up and took him by the hand to your bedroom.

“woah” he let it scape when he saw all your plushies, the big ones were in the floor, a bunch on the shelves and a few more in the nightstand, “sweetheart are you sure this is your room and not a 6 year old’s?” he teased and chuckled when you slapped his chest.

“i like them okay? most of it is from those claws machines so it’s not like i spent crazy money on it…”

“oh yeah? and you got all of those in the first try?” he poked your waist as you laid down in your bed.

“well…” no you didn’t “never mind, kiss me please” you pulled him by his shirt and he placed his knee on the bed before hovering you.

“i’m not gonna support this addiction of yours, you know” he reached back and pulled his shirt off.

“shut up smoker” you giggled and proceeded to take your clothes off as well.

nights with toji usually escalated very quickly but that night he seemed more distracted and a bit uneasy. when he finally had you on your hands and knees his pace was not as fast as normal, in fact he seemed to be shifting a lot.

“toji? you okay?” you asked looking over your shoulder, after pondering for a bit he replied firmly.

“we’re switching.”

“wha—“ before you could process he had already laid on his back and manhandled you onto his lap, “toji~” you whined.

“be a good girl and ride me” he slapped your ass as he helped you sit on his dick, and how could you deny when he bosses you around like that, “that way i don’t have to see those…” he murmured and slapped away some teddy bears in your nightstand. you stopped your movements and started to laugh.

“wait is that the reason?” you chuckled but one hard trust he gave you made you lose your balance and fall on his chest.

“there must be like a thousand eyes in this bedroom” he said looking around and massaging your waist to relieve his own tension.

“oh come on old man” you teased biting his lobe, “those thousand eyes watch me touch myself every time i think about you and you’re not around” that seemed to be enough to bring the big man back to his usual self. toji placed both his feet on the mattress and proceeded to fuck into you as you got up from chest to find a better position holding onto his flexed knees.

“and who gave you the right to touch my pussy huh?”

suddenly the stuffed animals were not a problem anymore.

[samandcolbyownme]

Summary: Anon request on tumblr - "This is probably a weird request but I think Jake has really attractive hands even with the cig fingers. Just imagine you guys are hanging out and you get distracted by his hands his fingers what they do to you Jake notices and is a cocky little shit teasing you and stuff. Then smut where he finger fucks you."

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, mentions of cigarettes and smoking, mentions of alcohol and drinking, reader smoking and drinking, friends to lovers, teasing, fingering, choking, hair pulling, oral (f rec), unprotected sex, general filth

Word count: 5.8k | not edited

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

"Well look who finally made it." Colby says leaning back into the couch, "Thought you weren't coming."

Your eyes move to Jake and you fight a smile until he looks at you. You smile at him and he smiles back, nodding as he turns his attention back to Colby, "Yeah, well we would have been here sooner if someone.. not gonna say any names.." he nods his head towards Johnnie, "Didn't have to smother his face in black eyeshadow to come here."

Johnnie looks at Jake and sighs, "I'm sorry.. if this is how I feel comfortable. You don't have to be so mean."

Jake laughs and turns to Johnnie, "Sorry sweetie. My apologies." He shakes his head and looks around at everyone, "Hello, hey."

"Hey." You smile and hold your hand up, dropping it back down to bring your solo cup to your lips. Everyone greets them and they go and grab a drink, coming back to join the group.

"So. What are we doing?" Jake sits down on the floor next to the couch, which just so happens to be right next to you.

You've always had a thing for Jake. You didn't think it was noticeable until you seen Kat smirking at you from across the small coffee table.

You tilt your head and she subtly nods to Jake and you roll your eyes, finishing your drink, "Excuse me." You stand up, "Sorry, Jake."

"No worries." He smiles up at you and you make your way to the kitchen, Kat, not shockingly enough right behind you, "Girl."

"Don't." You laugh as you pour yourself another drink. She walks up, turning around to rest her lower back against the counter, eyes on you, "You should tell him."

"Tell who what?" You cap the bottle and look over at her, "There's nothing to tell to anyone." You pour some soda to mix your liquor.

"I know you like Jake, and don't tell me you don't because I see the way you look at him. Even Sam sees it."

Your head snaps to her, "He didn't say anything to Jake did he? I don't want it to be awkward." She shakes her head, "Not that I know of."

You take a sip of your drink, nodding as you swallow, "Good. Okay. Good." You nod towards the kitchen door, "Let's go."

You make your way back into the living room where everyone is chatting and laughing. Jake looks up at you, getting ready to move but you hold your hand out, "You're fine, Jake."

"Thanks. I have been feeling myself a lot lately." He chuckles and you scoff, "I didn't.. no.. okay." You don't argue, knowing you wouldn't win.

He smiles and brings his cup to his lips and your eyes trail down to his hand wrapped around his cup. You've always had a thing for hands, but as weird as it may be, Jake's hands, in particular, are one of your favorite sets of hands.

This isn't the first time his hands have caught - and kept, your attention.

And this isn't the first time that Jake noticed either.

He licks his lips, smirking to himself as he brings his arm up to rest on the end of the couch.

His hand dangling right above your thigh.

You chew on the inside of your lip, trying not to give it away that you're secretly wanting his hand resting on your thigh, or as a necklace but same difference, right?

You bring your cup to your lips, teeth clinging to the plastic rim as you desperately want someone to talk to you, mainly so your attention can be hooked on something else because with the few drinks you've already had, you're feeling .. a little enticed, to say the least.

"No, guys wait." Colby laughs and holds his hand up, "Jake." He points and Jake looks at him, "Colby."

Colby looks at Sam and back to him, "Do you remember the night at the Baltimore Hotel?"

Jake thinks for a moment and his eyes go wide, "No." he laughs slightly and lifts his hand up before letting it drop back down, fingers grazing your thigh, "Don't even bring that up."

Sam snaps and nods, "Oh shit. Yeah. That was fucking crazy dude."

Your eyes move to his hand, watching as he wiggles his fingers as he talks, "That was.." he blows air and shakes his head laughing, "I don't even.. want to open that can of worms again, bro."

"No that was just me trying to call him back home." Johnnie jokes and Jake points, "Well go with that." He laughs and you look at Kat confused. She gasps, "Oh that's right. Y/n wasn't around for that yet."

You laugh slightly, "Yeah, but if Jake doesn't want to-"

Jake cuts you off and bats the air with his hand, "Nah, tell her." He brings his drink up to his lips and you try so hard to listen as Colby explains.

But the way Jake rubs his fingers together and picks at the chipped nail polish on his nails makes it extremely hard.

"So.. we were doing this ritual thing with candles and it was me, Sam, Jake, and Corey. We all held hands and I believe it was Sam.." Colby points to Sam and he nods, "Yeah, I said something about.. oh fuck. What did I say?"

Sam thinks for a moment and Jake shrugs with a laugh, "Don't look at me, my ass was possessed."

"Be honest though, who wouldn't wanna possess that fine piece of ass." Johnnie comments and you tilt your head as you laugh with everyone else.

"You're the only one allowed to do that to me, big boy." Jake winks and purses his lips to Johnnie and you shake your head, bringing your cup up to hide your smile.

Jake's fingers brush against your leg again as he moves closer to the couch. You glance over at him with just your eyes and he does the same, giving you a smirk.

And in that moment, you knew what he was doing.

"So now that these two are done flirting.." you laugh slightly and look at Sam, "What were you saying?" You lick your lips, crossing your leg over the other which leaves your calf inches from Jake's fingers.

"Yeah, okay so.." Sam sits up slightly, "So from watching the video back, I said something about any of the spirits using our energy to give us a sign that they were with us.."

As Sam continues talking, you try your hardest to stay focused as Jake rubs his pointer finger up and down your nylon covered leg.

You swallow, trying to keep your excitement at bay as you nod along to Sam's story, "That's actually crazy."

"As soon as Jake snapped his head up, the candles that we had in front of us like all went out." Colby waves his hands in front of him and shakes his head, "That was a night that I know I won't forget."

Jake laughs, "That's a night that I try to forget."

"Well.." your eyes move from his hand, that's still tracing circling on your leg, to his face, "At least you're still alive."

"How much of that statement is really true though?" Johnnie shrugs as you look at him, "The Jake I know is dead inside."

Jake sighs dramatically, "Do you have to know me that well?"

"Yeah it's kinda my job, jerk." Johnnie shoots back and everyone laughs, "You guys are ridiculous." Kat laughs and sighs as she stands up, "I need a drink."

"Can you get me one, too, please?" Sam smiles at her as he holds out his cup. She grabs it with a smile, "I guess I can."

"I need one too." You go to get up but Jake puts his hand on your leg, "I'll get it" He stands up and reaches for your cup.

You place it into his hand, "Thank you."

He smiles, "Yep." He walks into the kitchen and Colby sighs, "Does anyone want to get me a drink?" You purse your lips together and Sam reaches over to pat his leg, "You're a big boy. You can do it."

Colby groans, "Why does no one love me."

"We love you, Colby. I just don't feel like getting up." Sam lays his head back and you raise your brows, "You alright there, Golbach?"

He gives you a thumbs up, "uh huh." You laugh and look at Johnnie, "So.. are you and Jake coming to my party next Saturday?"

He tilts his head, "You mean is Jake coming?"

You're caught off guard, questioning yourself, is it really that obvious?

"Well..yeah, but you too. That's why I said.. are you and Jake coming?" You laugh slightly and he smirks, "Jake can't stop yappin' about it. So I have no choice but to be there."

You roll your eyes playfully, internally smiling big, "mhm."

Jake and Colby come out laughing, followed by Kat who walks over to Sam. Jake comes over, this time sitting between you and Johnnie and he hands you your cup, "There ya be."

"Thank you, thank you." You take it, your fingers brushing against his and you can already feel the heat rising in your cheeks.

He rests his free hand on his thigh, making sure it's in perfect view for you to silently gawk at. You take a big sip of your drink and uncross your legs.

As the conversation pursues, Jake hand slowly migrates closer to your thigh. Every so often, his thumb will rub against your leg, making you stumble over your words, but you just blame it on the alcohol settling in.

You chew on your lip as your thoughts roam freely in your mind. His hands feeling every possible inch on your body.

How his fingers would feel dragging across your skin and even dipping inside of you.

Your eyes gaze his hand and up his arm and over to his other hand that's gripping his cup, completely forgetting that you're in a room filled with other people.

They're drunk so what's it matter.

"I need a cigarette." Jake says snapping you out of your lustful stare, "anyone else?" He looks around and sighs, "Fine. I'll go have one with all my other friends."

He squeezes your knee as he stands up, looking down at you as he moves in front of you. You glance up at him, smirking as you know you'll go ask him for a cigarette once he's already out having his.

You look from him as he leaves the room, to Kat who has a smirk on her face already staring at you. You nod subtly, indicating you want her to come with you.

She gets up and you walk to the kitchen, "This is probably weird but.." you turn to look at her and sigh, "Do you ever just look at someone's hands and think.. yes?"

She nods, "Oh yeah. I think that way about Sam's hands. He has some nice ones on him. So no. Not weird at all."

"Good because I cannot-"

She cuts you off, "Stop looking at Jake's hands. I know. I've been watching you and him and I'm telling you right now, you should just go for it."

You bite your lip as you set your cup down, "I think I will."

"Tell me everything." You grabs your arm and you nod, "Of course." You smile and look out the back sliding glass door, looking at Jake who's sitting in the patio chair.

You make your way over, gripping the handle and taking a deep breath before pulling it open, "Got room for one more?"

Jake looks back at you and smiles, "I don't know, table is pretty full as is." He ashes his cigarette and nods, "I can make room for you."

You walk over, sitting in the chair next to him, "Mind if I have one?" He looks at you kinda shocked, "Really?"

You nod, "I know it's such a bad habit." You smirk, laughing slightly, "I like to have a cigarette or two when I'm drinking."

"You're full of surprises, aren't you?" Jake hands you an unlit cigarette and you shrug, "I guess so." You look up at him as you place the stick between your lips.

He leans forward, extending his arm out and flicks the lighter on. He watches as you inhale, leaning back as you blow out the smoke, "Thank you."

He smirks, "Anytime." He crosses one leg over the other and his hand lays on his shin, "So.."

You look up at him, "So.." you watch at he brings his hand up, setting the cigarette between his lips. You know he knows you like them, why else would he be cocky and use them to flirt with you.

"What if I were to.. I don't know.. say that I know something isn't a surprise about you?" He rests his hand on the table after flicking off the ash.

Your eyes move from his hand to his eyes, "Oh yeah? What would that be exactly?"

He smirks as he silently counts his fingers on his free hand, "let's say.. five. Ten if you count the other hand." He winks and you poke your tongue out to the corner of your mouth as you smirk and nod, "You're going to call me out like that, huh?"

"Call you out on.. what exactly?" He takes a drag and tilts his head, "I don't wanna say it."

"Oh you want me to?" You use your thumb and point to yourself and he nods, "You don't have to.. but it would be nice if you did.."

"Why?" You slowly tilt your head, taking a drag of your cigarette and he scoffs, "Now, wait.. you ca- no. That's not fair." He laughs and shakes his head.

You smile and bite your lip, "Your hands are very alluring to me."

He looks at you and leans in, "What's alluring mean?"

You laugh slightly and leaning in as your eyes stay on his hands, "I like your hands, Jake. They're very.. sexy to me." You glance up at him and he smiles, "I know, I do have some pretty sexy looking hands."

You laugh and lean back, "So you know." You take the last drag of your cigarette before putting it out and he watching you, nodding, "oh yeah."

He taps the table, "So.. are my hands the main attraction or does everything else get to come with it?"

"I mean, I guess everything can come with." You tease and he pretends to wipe sweat from his forehead, "Phew. I was afraid I was going to have to am-pit-uate.. ampli-tate.." he sighs, "Take my hands off or something." He laughs at himself, "Whatever that term is."

"Amputate?" You raise your brows and laugh, "oh, Jake."

"Hey.. Don't make fun of me." He points and you bite your lip to hide your smile and he shakes his head, "And stop doing that too."

"Doing what?" You ask innocently as you slowly pull your bottom lip between your teeth again. He smirks and looks away while shaking his head slightly, "Alright. Two can play at this game."

He gently slaps the table and stands up. You stand up after and go to walk around him but his hand gently grabs your neck and he moves your body back in front of his, "So does this mean one of us is going home with the other?"

You look up at him, trying not to focus on how wet his hand on your neck is making you, "Considering all of the inappropriate thoughts I'm having.." you smirk, "..it would be concerning if that didn't happen."

He smiles as his eyes move from your eyes to your lips and back. Just as he goes to lean in, the sliding door opens and his hand drops from your neck.

"Totally not sorry for the interruption. I was told to retrieve the, as Kat said, handsy lovebirds, emphasis on the hands." Johnnie sighs, "..and before anyone tries to explain, I do not wish to know."

You try not to laugh as Jake fights back his laughter as he sighs, "Can't you ever just not be everywhere I am."

"I try. But you have this leash on me a little too tight, master." Johnnie chuckles and shakes his head, "I'm leaving now."

Jake shakes his head and laughs slightly as he looks back down at you, "Now before we get rudely interrupted again." He places his hand back on your neck, squeezing gently as he leans down to press his lips to yours.

You lay your hand on his, smiling within the kiss as you're ready to hightail it back to your place as fast as possible.

"We better get back inside before they send the Emo Pomeranian back out to yip at us." Jake laughs at his own joke and you shake your head, "Emo Pomeranian. I can't with you two."

He lays his arm over your shoulder as he walks you to the door, "Don't tell him I said that."

"Secrets safe with me." You laugh as he opens the door and Jake starts laughing at his joke once he sees Johnnie, "Dude.. I just called you an Emo Pomeranian."

"What.. the fuck." Johnnie shakes his head and looks down, "I can't say I'm surprised."

You look at Jake, "You just told me not to tell him." You laugh and Jake shrugs, "I'm sorry. I looked at him and he had to know that that's what he looks like."

Everyone else laughs and you shake your head as you sit down, Jake sitting next to you, "I'm sorry, Johnnie. Do you want to kiss and make up?"

"Actually.." Johnnie closes his eyes and leans in and Jake breaks and starts laughing, "I'm sorry. I can't. I love you, but I'm not drunk enough for that."

"You weren't drunk enough for last night." Johnnie gives Jake a side eye and Jake sighs, "Dude I thought we weren't going to talk about that."

Jake lays his hand on your thigh, sliding it up and down as he laughs and carries on with Johnnie. You knew he didn't have to have his hand there.

He wanted it there.

Every so often it would move up higher and you'd just wish you were alone with him already.

You rest your hands in your lap, close to his, and he extends his pinky out, slipping it under yours as he talks with your friends.

Your eyes stay locked on his hands, taking in all the detail of them. From his veins, to the creases over his knuckles.

The longer you looked, the more you needed them on other places of your body.

"Alright.. I'm going home." Jake looks over at you, "Do you need a ride?"

Before you can answer, Kat buts in, "Yes she does."

Jake's mouth drops and he looks at you shocked, "Wow. How did you say that without moving your lips? " he tries not to laugh but fails and you laugh, glaring at Kat but smiling at her as you nod, "Yeah, I'll get my car tomorrow."

You stand up, "Do you need help cleaning up?"

Kat shakes her head, "Nope. I'm good. Not much of a mess anyway." You nod, giving her an excited look as you put your coat on.

"Jonnie. Are you coming, too?" Jake points to him and he nods, standing up, "Catch you all later." He salutes the others and walks to the door.

"Thanks for the little get together." You smile and wave to Kat, laughing as Sam starts to snore quietly, "You guys better draw something on his face."

"Already on it." Colby laughs and you shake your head, "See you."

"Have fun." Kat smiles and you roll your eyes, knowing that you most definitely will have fun. You walk out to the car and go to get in the back but Jake snaps, "No, no. Y/n can sit upfront."

Johnnie stares at Jake, "But.. I'm always passenger princess."

Jake tilts his head, "Yeah... well.. not when we have an actual female with, okay."

Johnnie sighs, mocking Jake as he goes to get in the back. You try not to laugh as you get in and buckle up, looking over at Jake as he gets in.

"So are you guys like.. a thing now.. or what is this?" Johnnie asks from the back and you look over at Jake, "Um.."

Jake smirks and tilts his head, "No, she just has a thing for my hands so I'll have to cut them off and give them to her."

You laugh quietly as Johnnie sits there in silence for a moment, "That's.. disturbingly morbid.."

Jake pretends to act mad, "There will be absolutely no kink shaming in this car.. or you can walk home." He fights back laughter as he looks over at you and Johnnie sighs, "I wasn't ki- I mean, whatever you're into, that's your business."

You shake your head, "Oh my god."

Jake laughs and speaking of his hands, your eyes move to his that's hanging off the center console next to yours.

You don't really pay any attention to their banter as you lift your pinky and gently scratch his. He smirks as he glances down, seeing what you're doing.

He moves his hand over, interlocking his pinky over yours. The subtle touch is what gets you most. It's cute, innocent, but you know as soon as you two finally get alone, it won't be as innocent.

"Okay. This is your stop." Jake parks the car and looks back to Johnnie, "That'll be twenty bucks."

Johnnie stares at him, "twenty bucks for what? A fucking ten minute car ride. I'm filing a complaint."

"Do you want to speak to the manager? Hold on." Jake spins around and turns back, "Manager Webber here, how can I help you?"

"I'm not doing this." Johnnie laughs and slides over to get out, "Please keep him."

You laugh, "We'll see how my free trial goes. I'm sure you can have him on weekends."

Jake laughs and rests his head on the headrest, "He'll just have to listen to me scream about wanting to go to mommy's house." You close your eyes and sigh, "Oh my god."

"As I said, keep him. Please." Johnnie shuts the door and Jake waits for him to go inside before driving off.

He moves his hand, slipping it under yours and gently squeezing, "So have my.." he laughs slightly, "..hands.. always been a turn on for you?"

"Oh we're getting right into it, wow okay." You laugh nervously and bite your lip, "I mean.. kind of. Yeah, I guess."

He smirks and nods, "Interesting."

"But I mean, it's not just your hands either.. you know." You add quickly after and he looks over at you and smiles, "It's the hair isn't it?" He shakes his head, reaching up to brush his hand that's not holding your hand through it.

"Oh yeah. Totally the hair, too." You laugh and rest your head back as you look at him, "I've had a crush on you for a while now."

"That's actually kind of crazy.. and I'll tell you why." Jake smiles and you tilt your head, "I'm dying to know."

He chuckles and raises your hands that are held together, "Now don't freak out or anything.. but I've also.." he glances over at you, "Had a crush on you."

You gasp, pretending to be shocked and he sighs, "Damn it. I said not to act shocked." He laughs and you cover your mouth, "Oh, sorry. Sorry."

He pulls into your driveway and parks the car, "Its alright, I'll let it slide." He unbuckles and quickly points, "But just this time."

You hold your hand up, "Got it. Thank you." You reach over to unbuckle your belt and turn slightly to face him. He brings his other hand up, playing with your fingers as he stares down at them.

You bite your lip, eyes scanning over your hand being caressed in his.

You watch as his hand moves up and you look up at his as he lays it on your cheek. He pulls you into him, connecting his lips to yours.

You lay your hand on his neck, tilting your head as the kiss grown into a slow make out, "Can we g-"

"Yes." He kisses you for a short moment and leans back, nodding, "Yes."

You laugh slightly as you get out and walk up the steps to your door. You reach into your coat pocket, pulling out your keys so you can unlock the door.

You push it open, walking in as Jake follows behind you, "Do you need a drink or anything?" You shrug off your coat, "I haven't gone shopping yet. I didn't expect guests over so there isn't much here right now."

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that in the grocery police so since your cupboards aren't stocked.." he walks over to you, gently pushing you against the wall, "I'm going to have to arrest you.. or something."

He laughs and you shake your head, "You can do whatever you want to me."

His eyebrow twitches and you can tell that that sent excitement through him, "Well.. alright then." He bends down, sliding his hands down to your thighs and lifts you up.

He keeps your back pressed against the wall as he kisses down your neck, "Where's your room again?" You smile, "Upstairs, second door on the right. You should know this by now, Jake."

He leans back, rolling his eyes playfully, "Don't worry.. I'll get it." He smirks and leans in to kiss you, gently setting you down as he slides his hand into yours, "Come on."

You pulls you towards the steps, staring up at him as you follow behind. You walk into your room and pulls you in front of him, "Tell me where you want my hands."

You bite your lip, "I want.." you grab his hand and slowly place it on your neck, "Your hands.." you grab his other one and slip it under your shirt, "Here.."

He licks his lips, tilting his head as he backs you up towards the bed. You sit down and he pulls your shirt up over your head, "Cute bra."

You smirk and reach behind you to unclip it, "Thanks." Your eyes fixate on his hand sliding up your arm to pull the strap down. He drags both straps down, pulling your bra off of your body completely.

"Move up to the wall." He motions for you to move up to the top of the bed. You crawl up, turning around to lay on your back.

He slips his shirt off, walking around to the other side of the bed, "Rest your back against it, I want you to watch."

Your heart skips a beat as you nod, complying to his request. He sits in front of you on his knees, grabbing your skirt and pulling it down, along with your nylon stockings and panties, leaving you naked for him.

"Beyond beautiful." His eyes scan up your body and he moves to sit next to you. He turns so he's on his side, "Watch my hand, baby."

Your lip is tucked snug between your teeth as your eyes watch his hand slide down your body. Your breathing quickens as his fingers grow closer to your clit.

Your mouth drops open as his fingers graze over your pussy, a quiet moan escaping as he dips his fingers in quick before sliding them up to apply pressure to your clit.

He slips his arm behind your head, angling it down to slowly knead your boob, "Is this alright?" You nod quickly, turning your head to kiss him, "yes.. yes."

He smirks within the kiss, using his head to push yours back so you can watch his hand. You look down your body, one leg over his legs and the other bent up and held out of the way by your hand.

Jake's fingers circle your clit, "You're going to feel so good, I know it."

You whimper at his words. Your hips buck at the pleasure radiating from the tips of his fingers.

"You can moan, baby. It's just us." His nose rubs against your cheek as he slips his fingers down, slipping two into you, "God, you're so wet."

You moan and tilt your head back, "Fuck."

"Mm. Eyes on my hand." He leans his head back and makes sure you go back to watching before he starts to slowly push and pull his fingers in and out of you.

He speeds up his thrust, groaning at the sound of your wetness squelching as his fingers go back in, "I bet you taste so good, too."

You smirk, brows furrowing as you moan, "Only one way to find out." He chuckles and nods, "You're right." His other hand thats on your boob, lifts up slightly so he can pinch your nipples between his fingers.

Your back arches and you want to throw your head back but you manage to keep your eyes glued to his fingers going in and out of you, "Fuck, fuck, Jake.."

"You gonna cum?" He whispers and nods, "Please do."

Your fingers dig into the skin of your thigh as you bring your other arm up to wrap around and tangle into his hair, pulling as you squeeze his fingers.

"You're so close aren't you?" Jake nips your ear and you nod, "Yes.. yes..”

He moves his head down and kisses up your neck. You tilt your head over to give him more room to suck a hickey onto your skin and that’s enough.

You let out a loud moan, tilting your head back as you tug on his hair, earning a deeper groan from him, “Fuck.” He pulls his fingers out and brings them up to your lips.

You look over at him as you part them, taking his fingers in and sucking. Jake’s eyes bounce from your lips to your eyes, “That’s so fucking hot.”

You smirk as he pulls his fingers back, leaning in to kiss you roughly. He moves his body over yours and kisses down your neck, over your chest and torso, finally reaching your hips.

He glances up at you before moving down and leaning in. You gasp, moaning loudly as his tongue moves between your folds and slips inside.

He groans against you, his hands squeezing your thighs as he pushes his head closer to you. You lay a hand on his head, arching your back as you tangle your hands in his hair, “S-shit.. Jake.”

You look down at him and watch as he devours you. Turning and tilting his head to get as much of you as he can.

The way he moans lowly against you is so hot, you never really wanted this to end.

Your eyes roll back as your body jerks slightly, “Fuck, baby..” you gasp, “Rig- y-yes!” You dig the heels of your feet into his back, moaning as he brings you through the high of your orgasm.

You stare down at him, panting as you watch him sit up and look at you with a smirk, “ten out of ten, will be doing that again.” He smirks and you laugh slightly as he moves up to put his lips back onto yours.

Your fingers drag down his torso to the band of his pants. He gasps against your lips as you slip your hand in and wrap it around his cock, “Need you.” You breathe out as you stroke him a few times.

A low moan leaves his lips and he nods, leaning up to push his pants down before moving to lay on his back. You instantly move to straddle him, biting your lip as you reach down to hold his cock as you glide down onto it.

Your hands move to press onto his chest, moaning as you sink fully down onto him. His jaw falls slack as his hands grip your hips tight, “You feel fucking perfect.”

Your brows furrow and you moan as you slowly start rocking your hips. Jake’s hands guide you back and forth, squeezing tight as he watches your face scrunch with pleasure.

You slide your hand up to grab one of his hands, guiding it up your body until you reach your neck. He wraps his fingers around your throat, squeezing slowly.

You lean forward, one hand by his head to hold yourself up as you start bouncing, the sound of skin on skin and moans mixing fills the room.

“Just like that, baby.” Jake groans, “Fuck, just like that.”

You moan, moving your hips all the way as you squeeze his cock, “S-shit.” You rock your hips, grinding down on him as you work yourself up to orgasm.

He lets go of your neck, wrapping an arm around your waist as he sits up, “You’re so close, babe.” He leaves open mouth kisses all over your neck as you grind your hips on him, “Yes, yes, yes.”

He slides a hand up your back, tangling his fingers in your hair. Pulling your head back so he can leave a few more purple marks on your neck, “You’re so fucking hot.”

He pulls you into him with his arm that’s around your waist, indicating that he doesn’t want you to stop, “Keep going..”

You wrap an arm around his neck, digging your nails into his skin as you continue to grind on his cock, “Jake.” You whimper out, “I-I-“

He rolls over, laying you on your back and he picks up where you stopped. He thrust his cock into you, his arm holding up his weight as he pins your leg up over his other arm.

His lips connect with yours and you swallow each other’s moans. Your nails drag up his back as you cum, chest pressing against his as you cling to him.

“Fuck, fuck.” He groans and pulls out, stroking his cock with his hand until you feel his cum land on your pelvis.

You lay there, breathing heavy as you watch him fully finish. He looks at you with a smile and he leans down to gently kiss you. He lay next to you and turns his head, “That was fun.”

You smirk and look over at him, “Ten out of ten. Will do again.”

He laughs and shakes his head, “That’s a good one. I wonder who you stole that from.”

You smile and shrug, “Some cute guy said it to me earlier.”

“Oh I see.” He smiles, chuckling as he gets up to go get a towel. He comes back in and walks over to wipe you off, “Does this cute guy get to.. I don’t know.. stay the night with you?”

You sit up and tilt your head, “That depends..”

“On?” He sits down, looking over at you and you lean forward to kiss him, “If he promises me not to sleep right away.” You lean back with a smirk and he sighs with a slight smirk, “I supposed I can make that sacrifice.”

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

Thanks for reading! I truly appreciate all the support!

Likes and reblogs are truly appreciated! 🖤

[saerins]

ᯓ ᝰ RIGHT HERE .ᐟ — touya todoroki

touya x female reader. content tags modern au, childhood sweetheart!touya, both are working adults, making out, mentions of infidelity/murder, he’s a tease. word count 1.7k

ᯓ notes .ᐟ haha can you tell i love touya too much rn ? just getting back into writing so have some of my touya :) thanks to any of you who read this <3

“touya, you’re gonna make me late for work tomorrow,” you whine, pouting as he wins you in yet another round of super smash bros. (and hence you’d have to stay up and continue playing at his behest.)

beside you, touya smirks, rows of pearly white visible while he clearly enjoys tormenting you. “weren’t you the one who said you needed a distraction?”

you grumble as you take the couch pillow and hold it over your face, groaning in frustration. touya’s right; you’d called him right after dinner, practically forced him to come after you figured out that you’re actually not as strong you thought and you’re actually still really upset that your ex cheated on you.

it’s only pathetic because it’s already been a couple of months and you’re still wallowing over it somehow.

“you know, i bet all that frustration will go away if you just let me kill that fucker,” touya tells you, flicking your forehead as leans forward, yanking the cushion off your face.

unamused, you deadpan at him. “yeah? then what am i gonna do when you’re in jail, huh?”

touya snickers, “aww, what? can’t handle being without me?”

in a strange way, your honest answer is definitely not. you’ve known touya forever. ever since you were five and your families connected at a preschool event. ever since your friend fuyumi introduced you to her brother. ever since touya confided in you how much he hated his father.

fast forward more than a decade later and you’re both sitting in your apartment, in a different state than either of your families, still as close as you were when you were kids.

you glare at touya, rolling your eyes before scrunching your nose and smirking at him. “actually, go ahead, i’ll go find myself a better guy while you rot in the cell.”

your best friend scoffs, cocking a brow and looking like he’s offended. “i off someone for you and you don’t marry me immediately? the fuck is wrong with you?”

the shit-eating grin that dawns on his face immediately after makes your heart skip a beat. yeah, you’ve always found him attractive, maybe even had a crush on him back in high school, but he’d always had girls after girls, and somewhere along the way you learned to stuff those flimsy emotions back down.

until you remember that he’s been single for a while now, and the fact that you’re both working adults with all the freedom in the world.

fuck, you really shouldn’t go back there.

“haha, funny,” you try to wave it off sarcastically. “says the one who told his ex that he just sees me as a little sister.”

he laughs, leaning back against the couch, a hand behind his head, abs sticking out from the edge of his shirt. it takes you a second to rein yourself in, not wanting to get teased relentlessly by him if you get caught staring.

“hey, she was getting jealous of me spending so much time with you! what was i supposed to say?”

yes, you’re aware. most of them were. most of the time you never told touya about any of that; of how his girlfriends were coming up to you, all insecure about your friendship and asking if you could back off. that was the most common thing among all his relationships: the girls’ pleas for you to keep a distance.

you did… the first few times.

and after his fifth relationship, you realised that touya would always pull you back close. would always end up breaking up with them if your friendship is causing them too much worry.

“you didn’t have to say anything, maybe you should’ve just kept your distance, you know? since most of them seemed to have a problem with it,” you comment, trying to act as nonchalant as possible, though even you don’t believe yourself.

a life without touya is unimaginable for you. even if you can’t really say the same for him.

touya sighs, shifting in his position before ultimately putting an arm around you, pulling you close. he smells like your soap and his hair against your face tickles.

he’s always like this; always touchy, always close. recently he’s been more than usual, coming over and sleeping the night (you never did anything physical!), chasing other guys away at the club because they’re not good enough for you.

and when he’s like that, you think maybe there’s no harm in letting those long-lost feelings flow back.

it’s dangerous.

he’s always like this. always way too much for you to handle. and yet you can’t live without him.

and then he does something he’s never done before.

you feel his lips on your temple, and you hear the chuckle reverberating from his throat. his left arm around you holds you tight, not that you’re running anywhere—you’re pretty sure you’re frozen stiff from the shock.

did that really happen?

“how can i do that when you’re the only one i want?”

you’re sure that’s his voice. it can’t be anyone else’s. but you’re not sure if you believe him. is he really saying what you think he’s saying?

slowly, you turn to face him, expecting him to wear that smug grin and tease you for being so gullible but it never comes. instead, you’re greeted with his half-lidded eyes, blue pupils staring at your lips like he’s hypnotised, his thumb caressing your lower lip from left to right like he’s trying to memorise all the grooves.

it’s so soft that you barely recognise your own voice when it comes, “touya, kiss me.”

and maybe he’s always wanted to, because he doesn’t miss a beat. the second you open your mouth, he’s giving you what you asked for, his tongue prying your lips open and he tastes just like the warm in winter mornings, like the comfort people always dream about.

mint. you can taste the sweet from when he ate it right before he beat you in the game. you can feel the cold on the tip of your nose from when you brush against the piercings on his nostrils. you can feel him carry you onto his lap, feel his hands wrapping around your waist. you can feel his heartbeat under his chest, under your palm, almost as erratic as your own.

were you really just upset over someone else?

every relationship you’d been sad over suddenly didn’t seem to make sense anymore. not when touya’s right here, lips locked with yours and telling you more with his kiss than you’ve ever heard from his words.

by the time you pull away, both of you are breathless, his hand on your cheek, lips softly brushing over your own like he can’t bear to be away even for just a second. you can’t bring yourself to open your eyes, half overwhelmed and half confused.

“fuck, did we really just—”

“shh,” you hush him, putting a finger on his lips, suddenly embarrassed. your foreheads are still pressed together, and you can’t see it but he’s admiring your face, holding himself back from just kissing you even more.

touya moves your finger away. he whispers your name in the most gentle tone you’ve ever heard, “does that mean you feel the same?”

you swallow the lump in your throat, tongue-tied and still straddling your best friend on the couch. you’re just a single impulsive action away from going all the way.

dangerous.

pulling back even further, you’re about to make a break for your bedroom when touya pulls you back, making sure you face him.

“no running this time,” he tells you, voice raspy and his eyes flicking from your eyes to your nose and your lips but mostly your lips. “i want you,” he whispers, and the minute you lock gazes, the answer has never been more clear to you.

“i want you too, touya,” you answer, both excited and afraid but he never lets you harp on things too much because he’s already kissing you silly, barely letting you breathe—you don’t have to guess with him; he wants you so desperately you can feel it in his actions.

“touya, we should stop,” you whine, knowing that this might be going way too quick yet you want it all the same.

touya shakes his head, big hands slipping under your shirt and squeezing your waist. “no, don’t wanna stop,” he whispers into your mouth.

he’s about to pull your shirt over your head when the loud shrill of his phone interrupts. he would’ve tossed it to the side if you hadn’t taken it and insisted he should take it. it’s from shoto, after all. (he doesn’t call often, it’s a complicated relationship.)

grumbling, touya leans back, keeping your thighs in place so you can’t move away. he’s smirking at you as he answers, “shoto, what is it?”

you can’t hear his brother over the phone. you can only guess snippets of the conversation from touya’s end.

“huh.”

“what for?”

“you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“yeah, yeah, whatever.”

when he finally puts it down, he pulls you close by the chin, a glint of mischief in his grin. “get ready, doll.”

“huh? for what?”

touya gives you a peck on the lips. “family’s visiting, a surprise or whatever. they’re already in the city.”

you blink, praying he’s not being serious and wishing it’s not what you’re thinking. “okay, have fun!”

“and where do you think you’re going?” touya laughs, pulling you back down after you barely got back up.

“go spend some time with them, it’ll be fun.”

“oh i’m sure it’ll be fun,” he smirks, typing something into his phone and sending the message before you can sneak a peek.

you’re almost too scared to ask. but you do. “and why’s that?”

touya chuckles, thinking you’re way too stubborn, playing dumb even if it’ll kill you. but he guesses it’s fine if he has to spell it out for you. “because i wanna re-introduce you.”

“wait, what do you mean?”

with a gentle smile and a poke on your forehead, he looks you in the eyes. “i’m gonna introduce them to my future wife.”

[bambiesfics]

𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗚𝗳 — Ellie x Bimbo!r

𝜗𝜚 Author’s notes ✦ Butch/femme dynamics, Ellie has a panic attack, this references joel’s death, anxiety, bile, nausea, and hyper sexual themes, Ellie’s butch, wears a packer/strap. Refers to it as cock, dick etc Reader’s a bimbo and genuinely stupid. Ellie gets really scared.

𝜗𝜚 Ellie Williams ✦ I listened to Vietnam - Crystal Castles it’s tempo mirrors Ellie’s panicked anxiety. I’ve linked to a few seconds before the beat drops, on YouTube for accessibility. Listen with earphones so the music fucks your ears.

𝜗𝜚 If you find yourself uncomfortable with the themes in this fic, maybe try educating yourself on Butch sexuality. Read this to get a sense of Ellie’s headspace.

kisses u. ⋆ 𝜗𝜚 ˚⟡.

Ellie fisted the joystick into neutral and killed the engine. She cracked all 5 knuckles before reaching over to release your seatbelt. The belts cold buckle sprang across your breasts and over your shoulder, turning your nipples visibly hard and full in their wake. Ellie fought off the urge to glance down; to drink them in. She was semi-successful at managing away her inner teenage boy every time it chose to rear its ugly hungry head at inopportune moments.

  “So…” she started, her hand massaging the inner dough of your thighs, warmed by the hug of your crossed legs. “We just gettin’ your little sparkly earrings? Or are you gonna get distracted and spend more money than I make in a single paycheck?” 

  You ran your palms up the sleeves of Ellie’s brown military jacket. Fascinated by the texture of the rough fabric everytime one of its crinkles caught against your acrylic nails. You couldn’t fathom how Ellie walked around in clothes so rough and distressed, all of your outfits were soft cotton or silky satin. And here Ellie wore a deconstructed uniform jacket like it was meant for her body. You blinked away your distracted thoughts, and leaned into nose at her neck. Pressing nose and lips to the source of the most comforting scent in the world to you. Allspice, cigarette smoke, and 2-in-1 body wash. There was still a faint trace of her cologne, you wish she wore it, the traces of it made you go brainless for your butch.

  “Earrings only.” Your sweet voice was muffled against her neck. She reached her other hand up to cup the back of your neck. The cold metal of her rings kissed your skin, but you leaned into it.   

 “I’ll wait for you right here, peach.” 

“Okay.” You nodded obediently. 

“Don’t spend too long in there, okay?”

“Okay.” You nodded once again. 

“If anyone stares at you too long or makes you feel weird for being girly, call me and I’ll meet you wherever. Especially those judgemental ass grandmas.”

You looked up at her, her hair was in her eyes, casting a shadow that turned her gaze into a deep hunter green. 

You leaned in slowly and kissed her lips. Ellie attempted to chase the kiss, until you slid your hand between the valley of her breasts and urged her to stay. Behave baby boy. 

  Ellie’s right eyebrow quirked up in response, impressed that you kept her in check. That you knew her so well that you could tell exactly where that kiss could’ve led to if you didn’t tell her to slow down. 

“Be right back here in an hour.” Ellie was relishing in how your thumb rubbed across her chest. Your hand rested on her chest like you were her little damsel in distress, looking to her to save you. You made her feel like Clark Kent, and it made her want to puff her chest out. 

  “Hour-and-a-half, I wanna get ice cream.” You prattled.

  “An hour.”

  “Ellieeee” You whined. 

  “If you’re not back here by 2:30 pm, I’m stomping into Icing myself, throwing you over my shoulder and marching right back out.” 

  “Please as if you could hoist me up over your shoulder.” You leaned over to fish Ellie’s wallet from her back pocket. 

  Ellie side-eyed you intensely as she tracked the movement. She enclsaped your wrist in an iron grip once your acrylics brushed the back pocket of her jeans. Her thumb pressed down. You couldn’t move.

“You didn’t seem confused about my strength when I lifted you into that full nelson and pounded you in front of the mirror.” She dropped her blue steel face and started grinning like a fox. “Uhnnuhuh Ellie, m’gonna squirt. I’m gonna squirt on you daddy.” She mocked in a high-pitched overly feminine voice. She drew her eyebrows together to school up the appearance of someone deliriously aroused. One that mimicked your cock-drunk face all those days ago.  

  Ellie dropped the comedic expression for a moment, in favor of replacing it with the one she sported to intimidate customers who started testing her boundaries or her patience. The one that said ‘respect me.’  

“Fuck you, asshole. I’m made of steel.” She spat.

  You leaned up, and just planted a glossy kiss on her cheek. She blushed until she was cherry tomato red. She always blushed harder when you were affectionate to her, in the middle of her egotistical masculine delusions. Like a mom kissing her son's cheek, after he called himself Spider-Man. 

Ellie would tease you for hours. But remind her again you were her adorable little girlfriend who she worshiped, then she’d be back to acting right again. Ready to hump the air just to get a whiff of your hair. Sweet and pliable. Ellie crossed her fingers subtly and hoped you got specks of glitter gloss on her cheek from that kiss. She wore your kisses like merchandise. Those and the smell of your pussy on her mouth and fingers. Some days, the smell was just smeared all over her face. 

  You blinked at her, slow and pouty in the way that got her real happy and pleased. “Now that you’re done poking and teasing me, can I go inside to get my sparkly earrings?” 

Ellie slid her wallet into your palm, her lips parted at the way your acrylics snatched it. The way they sunk into the soft leather. Mmmm.

  “An hour.” 

You climbed out of her beat up hatchback. The metal groaned as you slammed the door shut. “See you Els, if I get in trouble or get lost I’ll call you okay? I charged my phone this time. Bye-bye.”  You sing-songed just before walking away, out of the parking lot and towards the entrance of the mall.

  You were the utter definition of hate to see you leave, but love to watch you go. Ellie drank in the very very obvious little characters of your ass. The jiggly flesh, dimpled skin, and the way they smacked each other with each step. The type of visual someone could only see if the person walking in front of them was naked. Which you practically were considering how your pink cotton leggings looked painted on. The silhouette was way too intimate with how well it showed the character of your ass. She could’ve forced you to change, but you two had such a good morning today. 

Ellie didn’t want to—no—she hated picking fights with you. Ellie being mad at you? That was just another Tuesday. She had temperament issues, trauma, death of a loved one blah blah blah. But you being mad at Ellie? She’d kill herself. She shuddered in the car at the thought of it, and swallowed her jealousy. Everyone sees your little dimpled ass? Fine. She’s the only person that’s seen it twerking for her during backshots. And anyway, you’d get jealous if she wore gray sweatpants to work, so she kinda understood the sentiment. Especially because she packed everywhere, and the bulge was glaring. 

  Ellie wrapped her knuckles on the steering wheel. Trying to distract herself from the slow and lonely weight of the parking lot. Joy Division’s “disorder” played in her head. She considered pulling out a Marlboro to smoke, but thought against it. She remembered how you squealed whenever she kissed you with cigarette breath, telling her how it made your kisses taste so bitter. 

Truth be told, she was just as clingy with you, as you were to her. You just initiated it more often. When someone follows her around like a little puppy trying to catch up to its much larger owner all day, it’s hard not to notice their missing presence. 

  Ellie played with her rings as the mounting anxiety gnawed at her tummy. She turned her wrist over to check her watch. Ten. Only ten minutes had gone by? Fucking christ. 

She puffed out her cheeks. Yeah she was being ridiculous. Knowing you, you probably had only just arrived at the store, and that meant making a cute pikachu face at every new piece of merchandise they shipped into the shop floor that week. So it’d be a while before you were back. She could’ve gone in with you, but Ellie knew her presence there would’ve weirdly encouraged you to take a full day tour of the mall. She was your walking wallet apparently. But it’s worse when the wallet can actually give in.

  It was better this way, you kept her card in hand, but Ellie wasn’t physically there to actually convince of anything. So you couldn’t use it to buy anything more than earrings. Plus, she couldn’t stand another trip to Victoria’s Secret. As much as she loved the way you modeled a show for her whenever you tried stuff on, and as much as the jokes she cracked with the other boyfriends waiting for their girlfriends to be done made for good conversation, Victoria’s Secret just served to make her feel incredibly out of place. Mostly due to its overtly sexual displays of femininity. Something she still struggled to place how she felt about. All Ellie knew was that she didn’t want it.

Matter of fact she had repelled femininity so much, it even reflected in her dating preferences. You were by far the most feminine girl Ellie had ever dated. That was a considerably large shift from the tomboys she typically had crushes on in highschool.  

But she couldn’t help but be turned on by the way your acrylics stroked her bulge, by the way you blinked up at her with those dolly lashes like you needed her approval more than you needed oxygen, by the way she got both wet and enraged seeing men’s gazes linger on you as she walked behind you. Lingering in a way that they never did for any of her exes. It ignited a possessiveness in her she had convinced herself she didn’t have the ability to feel. Made her walk out the house with her shoulders drawn up to her ears, scowling. As if to say to all the men, ‘fuck off, get your own cocksleeve. This one’s claimed.’ 

  You were the cutest cocksleeve too. The human embodiment of a little bow for her dick. 

Just the thought prompted her to squeeze her bulge through her jeans, feeling phantom erections.

God it’d been how long now? Ellie checked her watch, reading the watch face to make sure she’d read that right. Twenty minutes? Only?

  Her palms started perspiring, and she started grinding her teeth. It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine. She’ll be back any minute. Be cool, you freak. 

Ellie reached to grab her phone, but the way the time flashed at the top bar of the screen made her stomach knot up anxiously. She chucked her phone into the passenger seat, and rolled down the window to get some fresh air. It felt beautiful for a moment, her rough short hair curling around the wind and blowing in her eyes. But then she felt like she couldn’t breathe again. Like her throat was squeezing in on itself. So Ellie unbuttoned the top button of her navy plaid button down. She yanked the collar away from her neck, and took deep breaths. Nice and deep slow breaths. The demonic little shadows and whispers of panic ebbed away, leaving only room for peace and the sunlight of the early afternoon. Ellie smiled, she’d be fine. 

She played with her rings, recounting all the places and dates she’d thrifted them from. Then she started fidgeting with them as her leg bounced in the car, working off some of that returning nervous energy. The little shadows were starting to creep back in her mind again. Ellie white-knuckled the steering wheel. “No, no, no please. Not now, please not now.” She sucked in a deep breath as unshed tears lined her waterline. She flipped her wrist watch face up quickly, you’d been gone for thirty-five minutes by this point. And Ellie felt her skin run cold. thirty-five minutes left twenty-five minutes. Twenty-five more minutes for the ebb and flow of panic to infect her brain and trigger her adrenaline response. Twenty-five more minutes of letting her own mind attack itself. Ellie couldn’t stomach the thought. She started gasping as she fidgeted to remove the car keys from the ignition. The dark whispering shadow only urged her to look at one thought in her mind: Alone. You’re alone again, Ellie. 

  She nearly keeled over from the sheer nausea that thought brought about. Ellie tripped out of her car, slammed the door and stumbled towards the mall as her heartbeat thundered louder than her thoughts. And her thoughts were very loud. Her face felt tight and itchy, as she ran. And due to the combination of wind and glossy eyes, her vision warped until it became disfigured. Which only set off to make her blood run icier. Like she was being deprived of all her necessary  senses as she yanked the mall door open and stumbled around trying to wade her way through until she got to the side where women’s jewelry and clothing was huddled. Her vision was disjointed, Ellie felt as if she was looking through a fish-eye lens. It caused bile to rise in her throat. Ellie was spiraling, she knew it. And if she didn’t find you—fuck where were you?—it was only going to get uglier for her. She despised being reduced to ugly. She hated herself when she was ugly. 

  Snot mixed in with tears as she scaled the walls of the mall trying to use the brightness of pink and white signs to guide her to the right store. You promised you’d go to icing, you promised you’d go to icing, you promised you’d go to icing. She hummed the mantra in corners of her brain.

She gurgled “better fucking be at Icing otherwise I’m gonna kill he—my heart christ—fuck fuck fuck baby please be at icing.” The palpitations rolled in, causing her heart to beat erratically. Two beats instead of one, a skipped beat, or an extra hard beat. Every bastardized combination instead of the reliable, glub-glub of a healthy heart. Ellie gripped her own shirt, and tried to feel any lingering warmth from your hand when you placed it there nearly an hour ago. Her breaths were coming out ragged, and she was still blind with a disjointed vision no matter how much she rubbed her jacket across her eyes to soak up tears. Ellie stumbled until she saw a store with the familiar lettering, and she yanked and tugged at her shirt to ground herself as she made her way to the checkout lane. “Hi.” Her voice came out so small and strained. She hated herself for it. 

  “Have you seen a girl, she’s—seems about yay-high and she’s wearing pink leggings and a tight pink top. Oh—she’s pretty—long nails. My girlfriend, do you know where my girlfriend is?” Ellie choked, her sanity was slipping. Her bloodshot eyes were crazed as she stared down at the cashier like the woman held the answer to curing Ellie’s mental suffering. 

  “N-no. Sorry I didn’t see a girl with pink leggings.”

  “No?” Ellie’s voice grew fainter, weaker. She sobbed “are you sure?” but her voice crackled with that sentence, and the cashier just stared at her with a puzzled expression, unsure of what to say to diffuse the situation. 

  Ellie stumbled out of the store, flinching at the expressions of customers who were looking around the store to see if they were the only one witnessing the girl's mounting panic attack. She ran to an empty hallway in the mall. The one where they kept those gumball machines that hadn’t been replaced since 1998. She fell to her knees and curled in on herself. Her nails scratched her scalp until it broke skin, trying to draw out the thoughts of being alone, being alone, being alone, being, alone, being alone, being alone, being alone, being alone, out of her head. 

Ellie tugged at her hair now, using the self-inflicted pain to distract from that hungry giggling fear, the one that wrapped itself around her eyes and throat and told her to describe what she saw: loneliness. Pitch black, devoid of warmth, pure unadulterated isolation. 

She needed you, needed you so bad as she cried to herself on her knees. She should’ve never let you go alone, she should’ve never let you walk away from her, she should’ve never let you have an hour to leave her, she should’ve never let you take her wallet and not take her, she should’ve never ever ever ever ignored the signs, the raised hairs and the feeling of dread that pooled in her stomach the past week. Just waiting to be triggered by something insignificant. Now it was triggered, and in an incredibly public place too. Ellie beat her chest, coughing just to bring herself down from the dissociative hell her mind was flinching in. “Baby where are you? I’m hurting…it’s hurting me again. Pleasepleasepleaseplease, peach.”  

  Nails bluntly tickled her nape, sending a shiver down her spine just as the smell of sweet jasmine and vanilla perfume engulfed her. Ellie broke from her kneeling fetal position to draw you into her lap. She didn’t even need to look at you, she knew you like the back of her hand. Ellie knew the feeling of those acrylic nails because of how deeply they’d scratched down her back in bed. She knew the smell of your perfume from how often she’d buried her face into your waiting body after work for comfort. Her grip was painful, likely breaking capillaries from its tightness. She mewled for you like a kitten finding its mother. “Babygirl.” 

  “Ellie—Ellie I’m sorry did I take too long? I set an alarm, I don’t think it went off, I’m sorry Ellie I didn’t mean too I promise.” Ellie let out a wet laugh from where her face was crooned in your neck. She just shook her head. It absolutely was not your fault. But God weren’t you just the cutest fucking thing in the world for thinking you’d made another little mistake? How sweet, that even in the face of Ellie’s utter mental crack and breakdown, you found a way to give your baby the benefit of the doubt. Ellie dragged her face up your neck, inhaling deeply as her nose traced a path up your throat. The scent alone was like Xanax to the nerves, drowning her in a sea of serenity. Letting the anxiety ebb away until it was no more than a dull twinge, the whispers reduced to muted hums. You were her light. Ellie’s grip on you tightened, her medicine. 

  She pulled her face away, and she could only imagine how distressed she must’ve looked by the way your eyebrows drew up, and by the way your pretty little lips formed a worried pout. Ellie gnawed on her bottom lip. There was nothing to fear, you would understand. 

“You didn’t take too long princess, I just had a panic attack.”

  Your hands flew to cup Ellie’s reddened blotchy cheeks, massaging her face cutely as her eyelashes fluttered. God, you were a balm. “I should’ve seen it coming, I’ve been feeling so out of it the past week. But then this morning was so fun. We made fluffy pancakes, you sat on my lap and listened to my dumb work drama, helped me trim my bangs, then...” Ellie blew air into her cheeks and looked up. This was going to be hard to say. Felt like a lump stuck in her throat. “Then we got ready and the kiss we had before we got in the car made everything melt away. This morning was so good baby, so good. I tried to ignore it, thinking my brain just wanted to be a little asshole and spook me for no reason. But no—I should’ve known—it doesn’t play tricks, it only gives warnings.” 

  Ellie leaned into your palms, she kissed them gently. “Can we go home baby?.” She held your gaze through wet eyelashes. You nodded “Mhm. I’m sorry Els I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I missed you.” You were disappointed because you didn’t intuitively know the right words to say, and how to say them. Didn’t know how to articulate that you understood her pain but she also shouldn’t beat herself up. Everything you thought of sounded cliche, you weren’t smarter than her, you weren’t able to come up with reassuring words the way other people could. Not like her uncle Tommy or Maria, or anyone. All you could do was cover her in kisses, tell her you loved her, that next time you’d never ever be separated from her, and cradle her head against your chest. 

  Ellie rose to her feet, pulling you up with her by your elbows. The kiss that followed was for comfort, for reassurance. For the feeling of squeezing her human emotional support plushie. 

  Ellie pulled away first, leaving you wanting more. She tasted so good, smelled so good. Made you want to pur and stroke her through her jeans. But it wasn’t the time nor place. Not after recent events. 

“Did you get your earrings at least?” 

“Yeah, I got a pair for you too!” You shared excitedly. 

  Ellie was still shaken up, but for now she could break out a small grin. “You got earrings for me?”

  “Yes, same color too!” 

  “Baby, my ears aren’t even pierced...”

  “Oh.” Ellie loved that, your characteristic little ‘oh’. 

“I knew that. I just got them for when—for when you decided to pierce them, yeah.” 

Ellie was hot in your heels as you two made your way out of the mall “Is that right?”

“Mhm.” You refused to meet her eyes.

“Oh yeah? K, then. Thank you so much for getting me a gift using my credit card.”

 “You’re very welcome, I love when we match as a couple. Els when we got home, did you want my chicken noodle? Cause it’ll make you feel better.”  

Ellie sucked in a breath. Cuteness aggression was real, and she was feeling it so hard right then. Right after her emotions had already been frayed by her anxiety. She knew, if it wasn’t for the way the panic attack had left her feeling utterly exhausted, bone tired like a wet blanket, ready to drop at a moment's notice to recuperate, that she would’ve done something that would’ve pulled a squeal out of you in the car. And she had the package to do so. 

  “Sure, I’ll eat your damn noodle soup.” She chuckled tiredly. 

  You put both palms on her chest and leaned in to kiss her, stealing back some of the desire that was ripped away too soon in the mall. 

“You’ll feel better in no time.” 

 Ellie gave you a once-over. Over eager, as usual. 

“Somehow I don’t doubt that.” 

  You littered her face in kisses all the way home, like you always did. Like you thought each press of your lips to her freckled face was going to cure her of her anguish. And believe Ellie, every press of your puffy lips to her cheeks, tip of her nose and forehead did more for her state of mind than two hours of trauma therapy a week did. Or at least that’s what she’d like to believe. Fuck the noddle soup, it’s you. You’re what’s going to make her feel better. As long as you’re there, everyday for her to come home to. All she needed was her pretty princess, her little babydoll, her little bimbo.

[tortureddarkstar]

✩ IN BLOOM

AND HE LIKES TO SING ALONG / / AND HE LIKES TO SHOOT HIS GUN

DEAN WINCHESTER X F!READER

18+ CONTENT. MINORS DNI.

summary: dean teaches you how to shoot a gun. amongst other things.

inspired by: in bloom- nirvana

this was a very much ‘fine i’ll do it myself’ kinda feat. not enough dean fics out there esp since its spn season. this is also my tumblr debut x

lots of smut, not a lot of plot. hope u like x

“hey, focus.”

your attention snapped back to the ‘x’ dean had etched into a tree.

dean had his arms around you, thick hands encompassing yours which aimed his white colt at dean’s makeshift target.

“hm? oh, sorry.” you blinked your eyes a few times, drawing in on the target.

“no. not ‘sorry’. focus.” he grunted in your ear. “sure thing you can use a knife, sweetheart, but what happens when you’re too far? y’gonna throw your knife at a ghost?”

“well that’s why i have you and sammy.” you shrugged, to which earned you a jab in the back from dean.

“keep your back straight.” dean rumbled, eyes rolling at your overt smartness.

“ow.”

“yeah, you’re gonna feel an ‘ow’ when you’ve got claws down your body. back straight, eyes on the target.” you took note of how his father’s drill training peeked through his orders to you, even after all these years.

you huffed, fixing your posture and lining up dean’s colt.

there was something twisted about such a pure, little thing using dean’s favoured weapon.

not only had he used it on countless demons, ghosts, werewolves- heck people too. but you remembered the first time time he had used it on you.

on a hunt, not too long ago, he caught you staring a little too mindlessly towards him.

well, not towards him. more so the colt.

and when you had told him later that night that you wanted him to use it on you, he seemed, at the time, a little taken aback, hesitant even.

however, you watched, writhing under him, as that hesitance turned into malevolence and instead of giving himself to you that night, he gave you only his gun.

“come on baby, work for it.” dean coaxed, admiring your contorted face and your wanton whimpers.

“you gonna shoot that anytime soon?”

fuck, now you were wet.

“sorry, m’just distracted.” you mumbled, furrowing your brows, determined to actually shoot now. “focusing now.”

dean was still behind you, heavy grip on your elbows, heavy breath in your ears.

yeah we’ll see about focusing.

dean had no intention to distract you by any means, in fact it was his idea for you to learn how to use a gun- “sam and i aren’t always gonna be there. and i don’t plan on you leaving anytime soon either.”

but you were taking way too long trying to shoot a target less than six feet from you, and dean never has any objections to a bit of fun.

he watched as your index finger finally began to apply pressure over the trigger. his mind calculating when exactly to introduce some fun into this little training session.

dean slowly took his hands off yours, letting it snake down to rest on your waist.

“dean, what are you doing?” your voice had already begun to shake, the weight of the colt feeling heavier as your palms started sweating.

“nothin’. focus.” dean dismissed, his hand traversing down, down, until he found the buttons on your jeans, toying with them until he hit the band of your panties.

“dean.” there was no way you were concentrating at all on that tree anymore.

“let’s play a little game, huh? the closer you are to the target, the closer i get to where you really want me.” his fingers slipped under the waistband of your underwear. “that sound fair, sweets?”

instead of answering, you pulled the trigger, the bullet burning a hole in the tree 20 centimetres above from where you wanted it to go.

“that a yes, huh?” he grunted in your ear “but, i said the target, baby.”

“dean.. please.” you huffed out, eyes rolling as your head fell back onto his shoulder, the gun almost slipping out of your hands.

“monsters are more distracting. shoot. right in the middle, i know you can do it baby, come on.” dean’s voice was gruff in your ear, sending an entire wave of shivers down your spine.

you glanced down as his hand crept closer to where you craved him, edging around your clit, but never touching it.

inhaling, you straightened your back, shook away the shivers, and regained your grip on his colt.

“that’s a girl.” dean whispered, nipping your earlobe before granting you a sickly sweet kiss, stark in contrast to the current situation. he felt you whimper into the kiss before pulling away, not yet granting you any such reward.

this time you tried not to think as hard. yes thinking too hard would send you over the edge, resulting in a punishment from dean, but you also tried to rationalise- you wouldn’t be thinking too much if you were being chased by a demon, right?

the second shot was much better and much closer, not smack in the middle like he wanted but close enough for dean to finally reward you with attention to your aching clit.

“come on baby, third times the charm.” now dean was moving his right hand from your right elbow, allowing it to slip under your shirt and rest upon your left tit.

“s’too much, dean. please.” he could tell from the whiny tone of your voice that you had begun to tear up.

oh, he’d give you something to cry about.

without warning, he stuck his middle finger into you, letting the heel of his palm push against your core.

“see how nice i am? hmm?” he grunted, digging his finger and palm into you. “now, you make that shot and i’ll give you what you want. if not, all you’ll have tonight is that there colt.”

now that drew a moan out of you.

“we’ve a deal, pretty girl?” dean nosed at the side of your face, grinning slightly at your torment.

nothing but a pathetic hum, bordering a grumble, came out.

a mumble of ‘good girl’ came out of his mouth and into your hair as he resumed his movements inside.

just like the previous two times, you repeated your actions. straight back, tight grip. and just like the last time, you tried your damndest to clear your mind. even though it was harder now with his finger in you, moving with more fervour and more dexterity.

you bit your lip in both concentration and suppression of a throaty moan. your finger, once again, gripped the trigger as you pressed down, your eyes following the bullet as it hit the target.

smack. in. the. middle.

you began smiling but your celebration was cut short by dean finally moving as fast as you wanted, adding another finger, just as you wanted and finally, turning you around so he could kiss you. just as you wanted. finally making you cum, just as you wanted.

“atta girl. knew you could do it. baby just needed a bit of encouragement, huh?” dean goaded. through your concentration and your post-orgasmic haze, you hadn’t noticed that dean had taken himself out of his confines, allowing you to feel just how hard he was.

with as much might your jelly-legs could muster, you jumped onto him, caging him as you pushed him backwards on the hood of his impala parked conveniently behind you.

“you want this, baby? want me to fuck you on my car?” he tugged your head back by your hair to watch your reply- jaw slack with a hastened nod and moan. “dirty girl.”

you let his mouth envelop yours before he spun you both around, setting your back onto the car. from here, you could see just how desperate you were for him, a collection of your juices had darkened his boxers, a little on his open fly, catching the light of the cloudy sun.

you carried on staring, eyes glazing over as he lined himself up with your entrance, that beautiful sting electrifying as he settled deep into you.

“dean.” you whined. your hands had moved from holding his midsection to cradling his face as your nails dug into his neck, bringing him into a kiss that was purely teeth and tongue, encouragement for him to keep moving.

a few, albeit long, minutes pass of dean rocking in and out, in and out of you with the occasional kiss or tug at each others hair, all the while your moans of his name and other incoherencies fill the air of the murky woodland dean had sought out for your ‘lesson’.

oh what a lesson this was.

dean found himself moving faster now, his hands and hips most likely bruising you. he would be lying if he said that’s not what he wanted. swallowing one of your breathy moans once again, his thumb moved to your clit, bringing you to the edge right next to him.

the twittering of crows were now drowned out by mumbles of ‘dean’, ‘so good’ and other mismatched phrases, stark in contrast to your usual eloquence.

“come on baby, cum with me. come on.” dean goaded, his thrusts getting harsher as his words got more strained.

obedient as always, you took the thumb of the hand cradling your head into your mouth, sucking, licking, biting on it as your brow-bone tilted up- both signs of your ever-approaching orgasm.

soon enough, ramblings of heated compliments were overtook by the increasing pitch and tone of moans, the last articulate sentence being dean’s- a simple warning of his seed spilling into you falling from his pout lips, enough to push you over the edge you’d been teetering on for the past ten minutes.

ever eager to please, you let go.

spasm after spasm washed over you as dean watched from above, cheshire cat-smile across his face as he watched yours contort when he pulled out to stand and admire his handiwork.

he waited and watched as you sat up on the impala, leaning on your hands. dean revelled in the way your hair tangled, your tits spilling from the tank you wore, matching the dark-wash jeans that had bunched up around your knees.

you were in bloom. and oh how he basked in it.

[quierd-kitten]

There’s nothing like taking a selfie, then looking at it like “damn bitch are you ok???”

[urdepressedslut]

Hello lovely,

I saw your post that your requests are open, so I will give it a try =)

Imagine Bucky and reader are best friends but they have a huge argument and now they don't talk to each other for days. She's feeling really bad, missing him. He is her most important person and now without interacting with him for days, she's feeling lost and lonely and heartbroken. Maybe she has not a super power and is only a normal human, helping the Avengers with IT or something. Due to the argument with her best friend and not talking to Bucky (Bucky ignores her completely) she begins to feel it not only mental but also physically. She can't eat probably and at the end falls deathly sick.... With a fluffy happy ending and a worried and protective Bucky

Please. That would be nice.

Take care honey

oh my goodness— my heart 😭❤️ the angst is gonna hurt, but i’m such a sucker for it. i had so much fun writing this one, thank you for requesting and i hope you like it🥰

Love Hurts

♡ Pairing: Beefy!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: You and Bucky get into a heated argument, things are said and done and now he won’t speak to you. You don’t think you can handle him ignoring your existence.

♡ Warnings: language, mentions of bucky’s trauma, heavy angst, malnourishment, depression, anxiety/panic attacks, minor injuries, hospitalization, suicidal ideation, self hate, literally hurt just writing this

main masterlist

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | MATURE CONTENT 18+

Your nails bit into your palm, denting the flesh— threatening to pierce the delicate skin. It was all to hold yourself back, distract you from the words that wanted to burst out.

It was becoming a sickening routine, Bucky was reckless and had yet another near death experience on his recent mission. The anxiety and the nerves stopping your body from functioning— the dreaded wait for his jet to arrive back at the compound. You shouldn’t have to be used of receiving the call that he had yet again made a reckless move— but you were starting to discover a pattern.

It did nothing to ease the panic that swirled in your chest every time he left for missions. You’d sob, throwing up everything you had eaten that day— unable to stomach anything with the idea that Bucky was on a mission. You never found your anxiety to be so severe— but when Bucky was even mentioned about going on a mission… it spiked.

That’s where you found yourself in his room, watching him pace the space— avoiding your frustrated stare. You weren’t angry at him per say— you were angry that he didn’t value his life.

“Seriously (Y/n)— you get so worked up over nothing. I’m here and alive— isn’t that enough?” He exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration.

You pressed your nails tighter to your palm, yet the pain couldn’t stop your thundering thoughts.

“You’re here and alive now, until you do some stupid shit like this again and are dead!” You hissed, trying to keep your voice low but you didn’t know how much longer you could control yourself.

He glared at you, squinting his eyes in anger and then rolling his eyes.

“Oh for fucks sake— can you stop fucking babying me? I can handle myself!” He raised his voice, his metal arm whirring.

“I’m not babying you— I’m just scared you’re gonna get yourself killed. Do you care about your life at all?” You asked him aggressively, your voice raising just a tad.

He took a long pause, staring at you with his face void of emotion— only annoyance.

“Not really.” He admitted.

You were taken back, although you had these conversations with him a time or twenty. It was an ongoing process to get him to slowly love himself— his past as The Winter Soldier torturing his soul. He was so convinced he wasn’t deserving of anything, not even a roof over his head. It was a struggle to help him, but you weren’t going to give up on him.

“You realize if anything ever happened to you I—” Your voice broke, needing a breath, “Buck I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

You thought you saw his eyes flash with guilt, but before you could linger on the look for too long— his face was hardening again.

“That doesn’t sound like my problem.” He mumbled out, making your eyes widen.

You were extremely taken back from those words, your chest aching painfully— him not knowing what effect those words had on you.

“Are you fucking serious?” You asked him, your face morphing into a hurt expression, mixed with anger. “Can you just do your job without trying to kill yourself?”

His face grew red with rage and he was stomping up towards you— his face inches from yours.

“I am doing my job— very well in fact. Unlike you who just fucking sits here doing nothing!” He defended himself, his breath hitting your face in warm pants.

“Doing nothing? Buck— why are you like this?” You puffed your chest, not backing down from his towering form.

But your words seemed to have hit a nerve, as he shrunk back slightly, narrowing his gaze at you.

“Like what?”

You furrowed your brows, slowing your racing heart from the shouting— you weren’t sure you had said anything bad. Did you?

“What?” You squeaked out, nervous now.

“You said, why am I like this… like what?” He pushed, stepping closer to you now, his face still red with anger but you could see the hurt in his eyes.

You swallowed and wondered how to convince him you didn’t mean anything bad by what you said. But you were almost positive it would be an impossible task to get Bucky to listen.

“Buck, I didn’t mean anythin—”

“What— you think I’m not capable of doing my job? You think I’m still the monster hydra made me?” He spat, his chest rising and falling quicker.

“No, no Buck listen—”

That was definitely not what you meant, you could tell he was spiraling and you were still confused as to why. You would never make him think that.

“After 70 fucking years I finally have a job that I like— that I enjoy doing— I fucking help people! I’m finally doing some good and now you’re telling me I’m not capable of doing it?” He boomed, his chest puffing into yours and your stumbled back slightly. “You think I’m only capable of being a monster? Huh? Is that what you fucking think?”

You were growing scared now, the look in his eyes wild with something and you didn’t like how close he was to you— you knew he’d never hurt you but your fear overwhelmed your senses.

“Friday— call Steve and Sam in here now!” You shouted into the room, and Bucky’s eyes squinted painfully— his metal arm whirring again.

Bucky only saw one thing— you didn’t reassure him that he was thinking irrationally. You didn’t correct him that he wasn’t the monster. Instead you called for help, that you were clearly scared— because you thought he was a monster.

He was at a loss for words and just stared at you, almost through you— as his breathing was only getting heavier at the sight of your fearful eyes.

Not even minutes later, Steve and Sam were busting through the door, taking in the scene and separated you and Bucky.

“Hey— what’s going on?” Steve asked in between the two of you. “Buck, what’s wrong man?”

You couldn’t seem to find the words and just stood speechless as well— the fight startling you. This was one of the worst ones, and it was also one that still left you confused. You cursed yourself for not being careful enough with your words— but it was almost impossible to get through to him when he was on the brink of having an episode.

Sam walked closer to you, his facing morphing into concern as he took in your shocked expression.

“(Y/n)? You okay? Did he hurt you?” Sam whispered, keeping his words only between you two.

You slowly shook your head but still didn’t respond verbally.

“Okay, okay that’s good. You wanna go get a drink from downstairs? Why don’t we take a breather okay?” Sam suggested softly, big brother mode kicking in at the sight of your frazzled state.

Without another word, you left the room with Sam— missing the devastated look from Bucky.

Steve waited until the door shut, then his attention was back on Bucky.

“Buck, you gotta talk to me man— what happened?” He asked softly, watching his friend slowly relax, but it wasn’t from being in a relaxing mood— his body and mind were just exhausted from the argument.

“I fucked everything up. That’s what happened.” He mumbled, turning away from Steve to sit on the edge of his bed.

Steve followed behind but stood in front of him, shaking his head— ready to argue.

“You didn’t mess anything up, arguments happen. You guys will work it out. I know how much you mean to each other.” Steve pointed out, watching Bucky’s face unchanging.

“You didn’t see the way she looked at me— she’s scared of me I—” He shuttered, his breath shaky as he remembered your look, “I fucking scared her.”

Steve’s chest ached, the state of his friend breaking his heart. He knew Bucky meant no harm, and he almost for a fact knew that you knew that too. But Bucky for sure didn’t believe that himself.

“I didn’t see what you saw, but I can guarantee you that she’s not afraid of you. This is (Y/n) we are talking about. You are her world Buck.” Steve tried to convince him.

Bucky shook his head, running his flesh hand through his hair.

“I think I just need to stay away from her for awhile.” Bucky came up with instead.

Steve immediately started shaking his head, knowing that was the last thing he needed.

“Bucky I—”

“Please Steve… I just need some space.” Bucky pleaded, his body sagging in exhaustion.

Steve couldn’t find it in himself to argue with him anymore about this. Maybe he did need some time to himself, to cool down and gather his thoughts. Also Steve wasn’t going to force him to anything ever. After the years his pal went through— he would never make him do anything. He had enough things decided for him, and Steve wasn’t about to stoop to hydra’s level.

Meanwhile down in the kitchen, Sam was getting you a glass of water— standing across from your seated form at the island. He slid the cup across, sending a worried glance at you.

“(Y/n)?” Sam snapped his fingers getting your attention.

You were shaken from your state of staring, but even snapped out of the trance— the anxieties still swirled within you.

“Yeah sorry… I’m here.” You whispered, grabbing the glass and taking a tiny sip.

Sam gave you a quizzical expression, watching you start to slip back into a mindless stare— so he spoke up.

“You wanna tell me what happened?” He asked, genuinely curious what had went down.

He knew— hell everyone knew you and Bucky were extremely close. Best of friends, always there for one another— dancing on the line of strictly friends to lovers. Truthfully, Sam found it completely obnoxious and just wanted you two together already.

“I don’t really know… I think I said the wrong thing— I didn’t mean to make him upset.” You confessed, keeping your eyes on the countertop, not risking a glance to Sam.

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up— mistakes happen. I’m sure he’ll forgive you.” Sam told you.

You shook your head, gripping the cup tighter.

“God I hope so… I don’t know what I’d do without him.” You whispered pathetically, tears welling in your eyes.

Sam reached out to rub your arm comfortingly, trying to relax you so you didn’t start crying. He hated to see you cry— made his heart hurt.

“It’s been a long day for everyone, why don’t you go head upstairs and get some sleep. I’m sure things will have blown over by tomorrow.” He suggested and you finally met his gaze, smiling weakly and nodding.

Without saying goodbye, you stood up and headed to your room. Taking Sam’s words and playing them on repeat in your head.

Tomorrow is another day, tomorrow would be better.

God had you hoped that was the case— it only was the beginning on the torment.

You had slept in longer than usual, but overall felt refreshed. The first thing that came to mind when fully waking up was Bucky. Immediately you headed downstairs to find him— needing to talk with him— apologize.

Making it down to the kitchen, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in at the sight of him sitting at the island— sipping at his coffee. You furrowed your brows, thinking he'd be done with his coffee by now, since you had slept in. Your chest ached with guilt with the possibility that he didn't sleep well.

You took a deep breath before making yourself known, although you were sure be could sense you in the room— considering he was a super soldier.

"Morning Buck." You announced, walking around the island so you could face him.

He kept his gaze down at his coffee, finding the cup more interesting than you.

Okay, that’s fair. You thought, you most probably deserved that reaction.

“You sleep okay?” You asked again, picking at the skin on your nails nervously.

Again— he didn’t even lift his head. In fact, he wasn’t even acknowledging you. You waited several minutes for a response, the silence becoming thick with tension and you couldn’t stand it.

“Bucky?” You tried, and this time he lifted his head.

Your heart twinged in your chest at his bloodshot eyes, clear evidence that he hadn’t gotten good sleep. You hated yourself for causing him the stress, especially knowing he was just starting to actually get hours of sleep. It was huge progress compared to his nights either screaming awake or just staring at the walls. But now you had to go and ruin all that progress. You felt sick to your stomach— disgusted with yourself.

“I’m really sorry about last night… I didn’t like how ugly it got and I’m sorry if I said something to upset you— you know I’d never intentionally hurt you.” You told him, picking more aggressively at your nails, causing to nail beds to bleed.

You swallowed nervously when he didn’t answer right away, instead staring at you with… what was that? Disgust? You didn’t know, but you hated the look altogether.

“Bucky, please say something.” You pleaded.

Bucky lowered his gaze to his coffee again, taking a minute before he stood up and looked your way.

“I just need some space.” He told you quietly.

You were relived to have him finally talk to you, but to hear him suggest space between you two— you could almost feel the knife digging into your chest. You tried to keep a neutral expression but otherwise felt your bottom lip quiver.

Without giving you time to respond, Bucky was walking out of the room— leaving you standing there speechless, lungs begging for air. You didn’t want your mind to go immediately to that thought, but you couldn’t ignore it either— he hated you.

“Hey babe, I need you to help me out in the lab tod—” Tony came busting into the room, but immediately shut up once he saw your broken expression. “Honey, what’s wrong? You alright?”

You nodded your head, lying to him and yourself and started waving him off with the fakest smile.

“Yeah— yeah I’m good. Just need to uh— need to get some things done.” You told him, your eyes darting all around the room, the familiar feeling of panic seeping into your being.

Tony gave you a ‘really?’ look and stepped closer to you.

“(Y/n) I’m not blind— I can see you’re upset. Talk to m—”

“Seriously Tony— I’m fine! Just leave it alone!” You told him a little too aggressively.

His face was taken back and you felt guilty immediately, cursing yourself for hurting everyone.

Why are you such a fucking issue? Your mind screamed at you.

You didn’t waste another second and sped walked out of the room, needing to calm yourself down before you ran into any one else. You were spiraling and you needed to just relax— take a deep breath. Maybe you just needed one more day and things would be back to normal.

Yeah… just one more day.

You had hoped that was the case as well… but as always— things only got worse.

Bucky refused to talk to you or even look at you. He’d given you the cold shoulder for almost two weeks now. He would get up and leave the second you entered the room. He couldn’t stand you it seemed.

You couldn’t keep hiding your hurt. At first, you had done a good job at hiding how you were really feeling. Saving the sobbing and attacks for when you were alone in your room. As the days lingered on, you found yourself weak and drained— you didn’t have enough energy to put up a charade anymore.

The whole team were sending you worried looks, and attempted to talk with you. But the second they’d try— you’d bolt. The subject was too sensitive, too raw. You didn’t want to talk to anyone but Bucky— and he hated you.

You had missed so many meals, forgetting to eat with your mental struggles throughout the days. You had been getting no more than two hours of sleep. You were so stressed, so stuck in your own mind that you couldn’t function. Even when you had managed to remember to eat, your stomach would knot up to the point that you were throwing everything up. You were gaunt, basically a real life zombie. You needed help— but you needed Bucky more.

You were laying in bed staring unknowingly into space, it had been hard to focus with no food or sleep in your system— so you had only managed to lay here. Even that was exhausting, no matter how much you laid around— your mind wouldn’t stop the assault. Your anxiety had never been this bad, you were a prisoner to it.

Knocking at your door had you jumping, your heart racing— and for a moment you forgot where you were.

You’re in the compound… yeah that’s right.

You slowed your breathing and swung your legs sluggishly over the edge of the bed to answer it. You weren’t prepared for the sudden dizzy spell, your vision spotting with black and white specks. You tried to blink it off, but suddenly you were toppling to the ground.

You fell to the floor with a loud thump, luckily landing on your front, your hands somehow catching most of your fall— you could already feel the throbbing in your palms.

You didn’t hear the persistent knocking, or the door open. You didn’t even hear the voice speaking from the doorway. It was when a hand landed on your shoulder that you were gasping, forgetting your surroundings once again.

Your eyes met Steve’s and you swore your heart was about to beat out of your chest.

“(Y/n) are you alright?” He asked you, hovering his hands over you— not sure what you had hurt.

You furrowed your brows, looking him over.

“Steve what are… what are you doing here?” You asked genuinely confused.

You watched Steve’s eyes widen and he swallowed nervously— his expression growing more concerned.

“(Y/n) it’s okay… I’ve got you.” Steve hushed, and he was pulling you into his chest, hugging you protectively.

You were still confused but then you tasted one of your stray tears, and you immediately came to your senses. You were crying in Steve’s arms… but why? You were having gaps of time missing from you, this wasn’t the first time this had happened— you just didn’t seem to care.

“Steve… my head hurts.” You slurred into his chest, sagging against him.

You were grateful that he was here, you desperately needed someone around. You were just hoping that someone would’ve been Bucky.

“Okay, let’s get you to Helen. She’s gonna take care of you, okay?” Steve asked you, and you could only give a weak nod.

He knew there was no way you were walking there, so he hoisted you up into his arms, and cradled your head as he started to the med bay.

You just stared blankly at his chest, not really caring if Steve were to throw you off the roof of the building. You just didn’t care.

Steve had gotten you down to her, and she checked you out. Alerting Steve that you were extremely malnourished, dehydrated— an insomniac. She kept listing off all the things Steve was afraid to hear. The whole time he was sure you didn’t hear a thing, although you were in the room— you were just checked out.

Helen eventually left, and Steve took his opportunity to speak with you. He pulled up a chair next to the hospital bed and grabbed your hand.

“(Y/n), what’s going on? You can talk to me— you can’t keep doing this to yourself. Please… just talk to me.” Steve whispered, pleading with you that you would stop torturing yourself.

“He hates me.” You mumbled.

Steve’s eyes widened and he frowned, knowing what you meant. He knew he let this go on for too long.

“(Y/n) he doesn’t hate you. He just needed time to himself, so he co—”

“I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings, I don’t even know what I said to hurt him but I—” You rushed out, the heart monitor beeping frantically, “I’m a horrible person, I didn’t mean to— I didn’t mean to!”

You wheezed out, clutching your chest as you couldn’t catch your breath. Your cheeks glistened with a steady stream of tears, your wheezing only growing by the second.

“Okay, okay (Y/n)— I need you to slow your breathing. You’re okay, he doesn’t hate you. Just take deep breaths okay— even if you can’t just try. I’m here.” He tried to coach you, but this wasn’t his thing.

Now he was starting to get mad at his friend, Bucky shouldn’t of let this go on for this long.

You followed his chest rising and falling, staring at him as he tried to calm you down. Your breaths were heavy and painful sounding. Steve was about to say something but stopped himself when he saw your eyes look behind him.

He turned and saw Bucky standing in the doorway— his face paled. Truthfully, he looked like he was going to be sick.

“(Y/n)?” He whispered, his heart breaking at your state.

He had ran into Helen in the kitchen and was informed of your condition— he didn’t believe it and had to see for himself. He was shocked to find you like this.

Your tears only edged on from his appearance and you shook your head in shame.

“I’m sorry Bucky! Whatever I did, I’m sorry!” You sobbed and Bucky ran to the bed, kneeling down and taking your hands into his.

“Doll it’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here— I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you… I’m sorry.” He rushed out, shushing your cries, watching you slow your breathing at his words. “There we go, just keep breathing with me. I’m here, you’re okay.”

He kept repeating himself, making sure you knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

Steve knew you were in good hands and slowly snuck out of the room— knowing you two needed to talk.

Bucky tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, letting his fingers trail down your cheek to your jaw. You couldn’t help the way your face leaned into his touch, it felt like it had been forever since the last one.

Your breathing had slowed down, and now you just stared up at him— eyes glossy with more tears. You felt so many emotions. You felt relived, but also angry and hurt. Above all— you needed to know what you did to upset him. The guilt still ate away at your heart, and even just the memory of the argument had your chest aching.

“What did I do?” You whispered, making his eyes shoot up to yours, concern painting his face.

“You didn’t do anything.” He told you, and you furrowed your brows.

You were still anxious— he hadn’t answered your question. Even more so— if you didn’t do anything then why did he ignore you?

“Then why?”

“Why what (Y/n)?” He dared to ask, and you scoffed— ripping your hands out of his.

The anger was approaching.

“Why did you shut me out?” You wondered, and he only let his eyes cast down to the bed— making you angrier. “You ignored me for two weeks! Two fucking weeks you just acted as if I didn’t exist! Do you know how much that fucking hurts?”

You were breathing heavy again, but this time it wasn’t from panic— it was the full force of all your anger bursting out.

He lifted his eyes to you, and you saw how broken he looked. How your state had affected him.

“I could never do that to you Buck— I would never do that to you! You’re my everything! I don’t trust anyone as much as I trust you!” You raised your voice, while he stayed silent. “If I didn’t do anything then why would you— why—”

You broke out into a sob, covering your face with your hands. You felt good getting all the built up anger out— but now you felt extremely guilty. The pitiful face of Bucky staring at you, causing your heart to hurt all over again. It didn’t matter what happened, you always ended up hurting others.

“(Y/n) I’m so sorry I— god I fucked up. I didn’t ever mean to hurt you, please know that. You’re my other half, and no one has ever been there for me like you have.” He spoke through a tight throat, swelling with emotion.

You uncovered your face and just stared at him a little longer, still incredibly hurt from his actions— but you knew you couldn’t stay mad at him. You so badly wanted to forgive and forget— and just wrap him in your arms like you both needed.

“It’s hard to explain what’s wrong with me to someone when I don’t even understand what’s wrong with me— I just know I’m fucked up. I’m broken beyond repair.” His voice broke, his own eyes welling with tears.

You didn’t have it in you to keep up an angry facade, and so you reached out and took his hand in yours. His face almost immediately lit up, his breathing slowing at your touch.

“Try me.” You whispered, watching Bucky take a deep breath before he spoke again.

“The night of our fight…” He started, and you swallowed in having to remember that night. “I had never seen you look at me like that.”

You stayed silent, afraid to open your mouth and have a sob escape. You could feel it bubbling up— the memory playing back through your mind.

“You looked at me like you were scared. You looked at me like I was a monster.” He confessed and it all made sense to you now.

It wasn’t about what you said, it was your reaction that disturbed him to no ends. Even if you couldn’t control your reaction in the moment— you still felt guilty for causing him pain of remembering the hydra days.

“Oh Buck…” You whimpered, trying to pull him close— but he pulled away before he could reach your embrace.

“No— you don’t get to be nice to me after what I did. I promised I would never hurt you and I did— you’re in here because of me! I don’t deserve your forgiveness!” He raised his voice, and you weren’t scared of him— just concerned.

“I wasn’t scared of you Bucky, you just caught me off guard. Things were heated— I’m not afraid of you and I most definitely don’t think you’re a monster.” You tried to convince him.

“I really hope you’re not lying because if you were afraid of me… god I don’t know what I’d do. If you never wanted to see me again— that’s fine. Whatever you want, but I can’t live knowing you’re afraid of me.” He whimpered out.

“I wouldn’t lie to you.”

He nodded his head, knowing damn well you’d never lie. That was one thing he loved about you— you were so honest. Keeping it real with him, even if he didn’t wanna hear it. He could count on you for the truth.

“I still don’t deserve your forgiveness.” He argued.

“Well too bad, I’m forgiving you anyway.” You finally told him and he felt his chest expand.

Like he could finally breath.

“Why?” He wondered.

You knew it was the line you two had been dancing on forever— but you knew if there was ever a time to say it. It was now.

“Because I love you.” You admitted quietly.

His eyes widened just slightly, and his breath stuttered. He had always had a feeling what you two had was more than friends, he just never spoke up about it. Of course he loves you too— god he loves you so much. That’s why the thought of you being scared of him was enough to pull him away. He couldn’t bear being around you if you were frightened by him. He couldn’t live with himself. More importantly he now discovered, he really couldn’t live without you.

“I love you so much.” He confessed back as your tears leaked down your cheeks.

You pulled his arm, and he let you pull him to the bed— close enough where you could cup both his cheeks.

“Don’t ever do that to me again, please. I need you Bucky— life is not livable without you.” You cried, kissing his forehead to which he leaned into your lips.

“Never again— I promise.”

This time, he wouldn’t break it.

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[barcaatthemoon]

housewife || mary earps x reader ||

mary makes a comment about you not doing enough around the house, tipping you over the edge.

"mummy!" dillion cheered as mary walked into the flat. you glanced over the back of the couch to watch as your wife took in the chaotic state of things. you had spent all afternoon loading up the things that absolutely had to be shipped to france, but waited to pack up other things for mary to get home.

"good evening my little prince." mary bent down and scooped dillion into her arms. you watched her set him down again and push him towards his room, muttering for him to pick out more toys to pack up. "you know, if you're gonna be home all day, you could at least clean up a bit. i don't work myself to the bone to come back to this."

"mary, i'll give you one chance to tell me that you're joking," you told her. mary looked at you incredulously, as if she couldn't believe your audacity. you matched her look, resulting in the two of you just staring at each other for a couple of minutes.

"i don't want to fight with dillion here," mary told you. it wasn't a resolution by any means. in fact, it was your warning that this was going to sit and simmer with mary for the rest of the week.

whenever you had met mary, you had lived a very different life. you worked for a big company as a marketing advisor. the lionesses had hired you for help, and once you saw mary, it was love at first sight. the two of you hit it off immediately, and within the next year, you were married. you still worked from home sometimes on various little projects, but nothing that would have distracted you from dillion.

he was your son from a previous relationship, and for almost two years, his father had been involved. mary had been very understanding in letting you take time to yourself to figure things out. eventually, she had suggested that you stay home and focus on family. you had been skeptical for this exact reason, but you had agreed anyway. and for years, it worked until it didn't.

you could see the cracks form almost immediately. mary's frustrations with united seeped into your relationship. she was a great wife, but she had grown angry and demanding. at times, you pondered divorce, but no matter how bad it got, you never even mustered up the courage to leave.

"what's with the box?" mary asked as she watched you carry one of the boxes from the hallway closet into the bedroom. most of mary's things were packed away and set to arrive at the new place in france, but you were still sorting through your things. you'd arrive with mary, and then collect the rest of your things when you flew back to england to finish up the last couple of projects you had left.

"i'm unpacking," you told her. mary looked confused, but didn't say anything. you could still see the anger simmering beneath the surface. dillion was tucked away in his bed, fast asleep. you were glad that he could sleep through anything because you had a feeling that mary was going to blow a gasket when you told her your decision. "i don't think that i'm going to france."

mary's phone clattered to the ground. you winced at the sound and knowledge that it was definitely cracked. still, mary made no move towards it. she just stayed frozen in her spot on the bed. mary had cooled down a bit since she had gotten home, and while she wasn't at the point of an apology, she was willing to talk things out with you and try to listen.

"don't be ridiculous, it's a done deal (y/n)." mary was spiraling, and while you wanted to stop it, you knew that you couldn't just give in to her. "i've signed. we talked about this. it's a big step, but i think that we're ready. dillion is so excited."

"mary, i've been trying so hard, but i can't. things were supposed to be different when you signed to a new club, but they won't be. this rough patch, it's not getting better like i thought. maybe we should take some time apart," you told her. mary's eyebrows furrowed and she sat up on her knees to crawl to the edge of the bed. "i think i'm gonna sleep on the couch tonight."

"no, please don't," mary pleaded with you. she followed you into the living room, where you had obviously done some unpacking after putting dillion to bed. "you're serious, aren't you?"

"yes mary, i am. some days, you're exactly the woman that i fell in love with, but most of the time, i don't recognize you. you're angry, and i get that it sucks, but you can't take it out on me."

"i would never take my anger out on you, never," mary said. she tried to move towards you, but you put your hand on her chest to stop her. "(y/n), i've never laid a finger on you. i wouldn't, no matter what."

"not physically mary. i spent all day moving your things around and making sure that everything was packed up correctly. i did all of this with a hyperactive four year old who is struggling to work through his french workbooks. not to mention that i'm also trying to learn this language for you because i know that maybe if i have a head start, i can help you too. i've been doing so much for so long, but all you can ever do when you're here is lay around and complain. i'm done, i won't live like this!"

the look in mary's eyes was nothing short of regret. she crumpled down to her knees, and if it was anyone else, you would have brushed it off as a performance. because it was mary, you just watched as the guilt took over and she began sobbing. the anger turned inward, and mary donned a look that you hadn't seen in years, not since you had nearly broken up before.

"go up to bed. i'll be back," mary told you. she stood up and began to walk towards the door, pausing when she was behind you. "i love you, don't forget that. i love you, i'm sorry, and i don't know what i'd do without you and dillion in my life. if i'm out of the house when he wakes up, tell him i love him too, okay?"

"mary, where are you going?" you asked her.

"for a walk love, go up to bed," mary told you. she didn't move until you were gone, but you could hear the front door shut from the bedroom. this wasn't by any means the night you had envisioned for yourself when you woke up that morning, but you knew that your relationship needed some space. all you could do was hope that you'd see mary in the morning when you woke up.