#even if I do the thing what validation will I get??

[wizard-of-interesting-failure]

No you know what I'm gonna take a second here. [Highly unhinged rant at the fundamental injustice, inefficiency, and sheer bloody-minded stupidity of current social technology below the cut]

Absolute horse piss. God, even setting aside how she deserved better from everyone around her and had the same right to a fully accepted authentic life as everyone else, imagine what she could have done if she was supported instead of being treated like this. If she wasn't fired from her job, ejected from her support network, and didn't have to constantly advocate for herself and people like her to be treated like human beings (which was brave and good work worthy of being honored but should never have been necessary in the first place, like rescuing people from a building that collapsed because it was built like shit)

Like okay I don't talk about this that often but I'm a kidney transplant recipient and I think a lot about how the field (like every other avenue of human endeavour) has been crippled by short-sighted bigotry. STEM fields are still hugely male-dominated (sidebar STEM is not the be all and end all creatives y'all super valid and important and your work is foundational to the functioning of STEM and human endeavour and quality of life as a whole; this is just the example that highlights the point for me personally) and it's like. If we didn't push literally everyone except cishet white guys well off enough to afford tertiary education away from everything in the area, would I just have an artificial kidney by now? Who knows?? I'm probably never fucking going to because stupid nonsense.

It's the same shit. And don't get me wrong, the individual human tragedy of unnecessary hardships on the part of this (and every) trans woman (and so many other groups besides) is morally horrible and an indictment of culture as a whole. But we'd probably have fucking blade runner robots or quantum computers or working fusion reactors or Actual Cool AI Instead Of The Current Horseshit by this point! Or a real Mars colony instead of some blowhard yammering on about it while he inflicts suffering on untold millions! Or God knows what else!

And don't even get me started on lack of opportunity for almost everybody in the world. It's like that quote about all the potential einsteins who were born and died impoverished without ever even touching a science textbook.

Like you wanna know why we're struggling so much? Population increase is supposed to mean more hands and minds on every problem but it doesn't because...ugh! Imagine if we cared about global poverty. Imagine how many more lives free of hunger. Imagine how many more people thinking about how to solve everything that needs solving.

I just. The morality is bad enough. It's a great evil by itself. But the sheer fucking gall of dressing it up behind progress and hard decisions. Do you have any idea how much "progress" this costs us? What a good investment humanity would be if we pulled our heads out of our asses for two seconds? What you, personally, have lost because the person who would have given it to you lived and died in preventable despair?

Again, I have to emphasise. People are worthy without contributing huge individual achievements to the arc of history. Society is a collective and everything everyone does adds to the weave and adds up to what we as a whole achieve, there's no real separating out of "this person did this thing" when they were supported by the entire collective of humanity past and present, and even if there was achievement is not the sole benchmark by which life is measured. A better life for everyone is the point, and the idea of "if I don't think you're contributing then you don't deserve anything" is a big part of how we got here in the first place.

There is no culling of the "unproductive". They are the ones who need this most of all. Every life matters, every life (yes, even that one) is a roll of the dice for a miracle of insight (not just in STEM; it all fucking matters and it always has), every life is its own purpose, every life is worthy, to save one life is to save all of mankind, to enrich one life is to enrich all of mankind, to be a life that is enriched is to be enriched on behalf of all of mankind, and none of these facts depend upon any others. There's a mind in there! A self-perceiving miracle of reality! Of course it's precious beyond measure regardless of context, you dipshit!

We can celebrate great advances and exceptional performances without ignoring that we, as a whole, made these things possible too. And we can recognise that these things are valuable because of what they do for everyone, and that the more everyone there is the more valuable they are, and that in order for making life better for the worse off to matter the worse off themselves must matter, and that every life is worthy and every soul is sacred and the people using Lynn's technology to help with their disabilities or live hidden from those who wish them harm or resist the forces I'm talking about here are why the technology is a force for good in the first place.

But I weep for the fact that we have squandered almost all human potential across all of history in short-sighted power-seeking and arbitrary outgroup punishments, and everyone everywhere has suffered for it. Yes, even the stupid billionaires; they'd probably live longer if they hadn't stepped on the people who would have discovered the cure for whatever ends up killing them. Today's average well-off human knows riches that would be the envy of the kings of old, and the average human if none of this was a problem would know riches that would be the envy of the oligarchs of today.

Lives being lived in ways that diminish other lives are ideally changed minimally so that they no longer do (this is the maximisation of collective freedom) and consigned to any other fate only with great sorrow. Even if it is right to do so, I do not believe it is ever righteous. Even if it is not regrettable that it was done in the present, it is regrettable that the past produced a present that required it, and a future that does better should ever be sought.

Just...fucking stupid. That we're so willing impoverish ourselves so that some other people we don't like for no reason can be impoverished more. That the only thing keeping us from Star Trek (not just the spaceships but everything else too) is petty fucking spite (and physics but who knows what backdoor bullshit we could find to work around that).

That Lynn Conway's life, extraordinary and laudable as it was, was made smaller by this rank fucking idiocy. I do not aim to diminish her work by considering what it could have been. I aim to diminish the age she was forced to live in.

Rest in peace, Lynn. You deserved unfathomably, infinitely fucking better, and we are all richer for what you managed to pull off in spite of it all.

[astrolook]

Chiron: Because Therapy Wasn’t Expensive Enough Already

Chiron, aka the “Wounded Healer,” is that one astrology placement that drags your soul through the mud but lowkey turns you into a wise sage (or a really expensive therapist’s client). Whatever house Chiron lands in is where life hands you lemons—except you’re not making lemonade; you’re writing a memoir about your suffering. BUT, this wound isn’t here to destroy you. It’s here to shape you into a master healer in that area of life.

Chiron in the 1st House (Identity Crisis Central)

Feels like everyone sees the “wrong” version of you.

Might attract partners who project their insecurities onto you.

Struggles with confidence—undervaluing yourself until one day you wake up and realize, Oh wait, I AM that person.

You feel like you need to prove your existence. The glow-up happens when you realize you don’t have to be anything other than yourself.

Chiron in the 2nd House (Money Trauma & Self-Worth Rollercoaster)

Might attract people who challenge your self-worth (ouch) or partners who make you question your financial stability.

Feels like no matter what, you never have “enough.” But once you stop equating your worth to a paycheck, financial stability finds you.

The wound? Feeling like you need to earn love or success. The healing? Realizing you’re valuable just as you are.

Chiron in the 3rd House (The Overthinker’s Special)

Struggles with communication—either you overshare or feel unheard.

Dating involves writing mental essays before sending a text.

Feels like your voice doesn’t matter. You might avoid speaking up in professional settings, but your words are actually your power.

Gaining self-worth? Learning to trust your own thoughts. Your ideas do matter, and you don’t need external validation to prove it.

Chiron in the 4th House (Home? Never Heard of Her.)

Deep-rooted family wounds make intimacy feel like both a dream and a nightmare.

Might attract partners who feel like “home” but in a trauma-repeating way.

Emotional baggage seeps into your work. You crave security but might self-sabotage when things feel “too good.”

You heal when you build the emotional foundation you never had—on your own terms.

Chiron in the 5th House (Creative Genius with a Side of Imposter Syndrome)

Love life feels like an emotional battleground.

Fear of not being “good enough” in romance. Attracts partners who mirror this insecurity.

SO much creative talent, but that little voice in your head says, “Who do you think you are?”

You people deserve joy and self-expression. Stop dimming your light to fit in.

Chiron in the 6th House (Burnout + Perfectionism = Yikes)

Over-giver energy. Attracts partners who lean on you emotionally but struggle to give back.

Might feel like work defines you. Learning that productivity doesn’t equal self-worth is the ultimate aha moment for you.

Stop trying to be “useful” to be loved. You’re enough even when you’re resting.

Chiron in the 7th House (Relationships: The Crash Course in Healing)

Oh, boy! Romantic wounds galore.

Attracts partners who reflect past traumas until you finally break the cycle.

Collaboration struggles—feeling unseen in partnerships. The key? Finding your own voice.

You should learn that love doesn’t have to hurt to be real.

Chiron in the 8th House (Shadow Work or Bust)

Deep fears of betrayal, abandonment, or being “too much” in love.

Might attract emotionally unavailable partners.

Feels like financial security is always just out of reach. But once you embrace your power? Financial transformation happens.

Your intensity is your gift, not your curse.

Chiron in the 9th House (Existential Crisis, Anyone?)

Might feel disconnected from people who don’t “get” your way of thinking.

Feels like you don’t know enough. The truth? You’re more than capable—you just need to trust yourself.

Stop waiting for permission to follow your own path.

Chiron in the 10th House (Career Struggles & Public Image Woes)

Feels like you have to “prove” your worth in love.

Might attract partners who challenge your status or career.

Fear of failure. Struggles with stepping into authority, but the world needs your leadership.

You’re not an imposter—you belong at the top.

Chiron in the 11th House (The Outsider Complex)

Struggles to feel like they truly belong.

Friends or partners might make you question your value in social spaces.

Feels like success is tied to being “accepted.” The truth? Your uniqueness is what makes you irreplaceable.

Lesson? Stop trying to fit in when you were meant to stand out.

Chiron in the 12th House (Spiritual Wounds & Hidden Pain)

Tends to self-sacrifice in love.

Attracts people who take more than they give—until you learn to set boundaries.

Feels drawn to healing professions or creative outlets but struggles with self-doubt. The key? Learning to trust your intuition.

You are not here to be invisible. Your depth is your superpower.

🔥 Chiron is messy, but it’s also where you level up. Once you embrace the wounds, they stop running the show—and you become the healer you were meant to be.

🔥 Where’s your Chiron, and how has it shown up in your life? Let’s talk about it in the comments!

Curious about what the stars say about your life, love, and destiny? DM me for a birth chart reading, and let’s unlock your cosmic blueprint! 🔮✨

[ask-a-vetblr]

Hey so years ago we had to get my childhood dog euthanized because he was in pain that he wasn’t gonna recover from, he also had breathing problems and such (i remember something about a collapsed trachea but i don’t know if i’m remembering correctly)

But i still feel bad for not being able to make him feel better, even all these years later and with two more dogs

Any ideas on how to not feel guilty about it?

Sueanoi here,

End-of-life care are a controversial topic that each country has its own preferred ways of dealing with. Within the norm of a country, each persons will have varying degree of opinion. Some prefer the animals not have to experience the in-coming suffering at all. Some prefer the animals be under pain control until nothing works anymore, THEN be allowed to sleep. Some ... well they never put their animals to sleep because of various reasons (ex: religion, belief that we shouldn't decide when life ends, etc). Each of the choices have their pros and cons. Each choices have their own consequences. None of them are more wrong than the other. After all, none of us wants to see our beloved animal go. Ideally, we want them to stay forever, don't we?

but Alas, that choice is unavailable to us. What is the next best thing to do when the end is near?

I'm of the choice of "depends".

I am a Buddhist, living in a Buddhist-majority country. "Killing" is a precept that we largely feel it's a taboo to do. It is frowned upon for vets to perform this. Which is why I personally have never performed euthanasia "before" suffering begins. However, despite the taboo, I have performed one when it's early, and one when it's late. and I have also watched an animal rot before me while it's still alive because the owner won't allow me to perform it until the very end.

I'd say that last one isn't ideal. It's not one that I'd recommend anyone allow their animals to experience.

For an animal whose remaining life will consist of worsening, uncontrollable pain, choosing to end it early - before it becomes unbearable, is a valid choice that I would offer my clients. whether they accept it or not is up to them.

and frankly, I breathe a sigh of relief, when the owner choose to allow me to perform it - preferably somewhere before the late stage of suffering. I wouldn't suggest it any earlier than when it's appropriate. I like to think that your vet is of the same mind. Whether or not that appropriate time is the same criteria as mine, it had to have been an appropriate time for them to suggest it.

I hope that's helpful to ease your mind somewhat. I am sorry for your loss. Grief is a cost of loving, one that I'd keep paying because it's worth it. You grief because you loved. It only makes you human. Your dog was fortunate to have your love while it's here in this world, and that's all that matters to this little life that was so temporary.

[teachablr-moment]

I have been feeling this. Lo siento muy fuerte desde que hago @inspired-lesson-plans el año pasado.

In my unresearched opinion, two of the most powerful non-chemical drugs have to be money and external validation.

Of course money is necessary for survival in the world today. But it's hard to look at the lives of people who have much more money than they need and not notice that they seem to be addicted to it. Like, there's a very clear line of thought in the back half of the Bible that if you have more than you need, that's because you are blessed and you have an obligation to give it away. I don't think this is just like a moral issue either, I think it was actually the health of the community and even of the individual having too much money is bad for you.

Similarly, external validation is necessary. When one is growing up. We absolutely need to be given unconditional love throughout our lives, but in addition to that, we need to be praised when we are doing good. Our brains are hardwired to be rewarded for learning. Being praised for our accomplishments in the eyes of others is a kind of learning. External validation helps keep our Brain properly tuned so that we know we are doing good according to others, rather than according to our internal echo chamber.

Growing up, I got small amounts of external validation for the things that I made. I mostly just loved creating, but I especially loved sharing what I made. But I very rarely shared because I was very embarrassed. And yeah, it was absolutely cringe. But in college, my friends and I would share our adolescent cringe creations and we would laugh together.

But nothing I did ever got a big response until I started posting lesson plans on Tumblr. And it felt amazing. Kind of tough not to just neglect everything else I am doing in order to keep on creating and posting. But that's not healthy. I need money, I need to get out of the house, and they need to not be glued to my activity page, refreshing every few minutes to see whether or not I am losing engagement.

Our brains evolved to live in social spaces in the physical world, not the digital. We are very poorly adapted to the massive Rush of attention that can come from going viral.

So spare a thought for The unfortunately wealthy, especially those who make their living through attention on any kind of public media. It's like being a professional drug addict. It's not surprising that many of them become amateur drug addicts as well. I probably would, if I had that kind of strain.

i do write for attention, actually, because that's a normal reason to create art

[catholicfacade]

joost sucking the strap is A++. whenever he comes up for air he needs to be a blubbering mess, asking if he's doing good. his pale face flushed with redness and his lips puffy and pink from the effort. drooling like an actual dog, spit dripping to the floor when he gasps for air and down the sides of his mouth as the strap is pushed in and out of his mouth.

you get it !!!!! 🙂‍↕️

CW: RPF, 18+, NSFW, afab reader, gn pronouns, blowjobs [obviously], mention of pegging, mention of light puppy play bc i can’t help myself.

—

joosty learning that your strap in his mouth is so much better than a stupid cigarette, so much more satisfying.

he was apprehensive at first-he's not gay after all—the most he'd done in that regard was joke about sucking dick, little quips at shows or at friends that he'll "suck their dick" because he loves them so much. but now? now, he's sitting on his knees in front of you, blushing when confronted with a "real" cock between his favorite pair of thighs. joost feels shy and flustered, after getting his dick sucked a million times by you, he surprisingly doesn't even know where to start when it's your turn.

his mind is only eased by the idea that if his teeth accidentally scrape, you won't get hurt. and the way you look down at him, pupils wide and dark, almost breathless with anticipation, you want this sooooo bad—he can see it.

stuffing his mouth with your cock feels so awkward at first, joost flicks his eyes up to yours, seeking validation that he's doing it right. your jaw slacks open, watching the gentle and slow bob of joosts head up and down your strap. his plush lips and blonde mustache stretch around your girth, this strap is average size, nothing crazy for joosts first blowjob [and inevitably his first pegging afterwards;P]. the movements of his mouth are clearly exploratory, cheeks hollowing, tongue laving over the silicone veins and ridges, the head poking the inside of his cheek every once in a while.

you cup joost under his chin, thumb petting his jaw, gentle praises fall out of your mouth, his confidence builds—your moans sound like you actually fucking feel it—and that turns him on so baaaad :((. this thing is you, his favorite person in the whole wide world suddenly grew a dick and he’s just doing what any good boyfriend would do in this situation…suck you dry!!!!!

it turns joost on even more to think he’s trying to replicate your movements when you give him a blowjob onto you. copying what he knows he loves and feels good when you do it to him. he takes more of your length into his mouth, hands gripping your thighs for stability, baby blue eyes locked onto yours. you can’t help but to grab his hair now, pressing down ever so slightly so he takes even more and more. when joost feels so full with your strap, he gags and pulls away, there’s a sparkle in his eye, like holy shit…this is FUNNNN.

and from that day on, joost honestly becomes OBSESSED with giving you blowies!!! even if you’re not going to peg him later, sometimes his oral fixation kicks in and baby boy wants to feel your [now bigger] strap fucking his whole mouth open, sliding against his tongue, making him gag and drool :(( its so cute because no one knows that he’s actually soooo cock-hungry for you and his friends would call him gay for sucking dick, but it’s YOUR dickkkk he doesn’t care !! :((

joosty wants to hear you praise him, telling him that he’s such a good little puppy for licking your cock, loving the teasing sneer in your voice when you realize he usually has so much to say until his mouth is too full to talk. he wants to feel your fingers scratch his scalp, tug his hair to make him go faster or slower, push his head down so he has to keep your length stuffed in his little throat. the weight of your strap on his tongue is so fucking delicious, especially when you make him stick his tongue out and smack your cock on it :(( orrr smacking your strap on his fucking face!!

i could literally think about this alllll day ughh i’m going crazyyyy i need it i need it i need it i need it 😵‍💫

[authors note: DO NOT be surprised if you see some of this used again in my joost fic ;)]

[badwolfrose34]

My analysis of River Song (not River friendly)

This essay has been brewing in my mind for awhile. If you don’t want to see anti River content, please keep scrolling. I understand that since Doctor Who is a work of fiction, fans have the right to differing interpretations and to invoking literary license. However, I do want fans who are like me and icked out by River to feel validated. What follows is a pretty unreserved criticism of the character and her relationship with the Doctor.

First, I’m going to break down River from a psychological perspective. Note that I am not a licensed psychologist, but I did graduate with a degree in general psychology. I’m also going to explain some of the many instances that she proves herself to be an incredibly toxic person.

River Song was raised to be a psychopath. That’s an indisputable fact mentioned clearly in the show. Psychopathy is known in the psychology world as Anti Social Personality Disorder (ASPD). ASPD can be managed, but it has no cure. Could it be argued that River sees an off screen therapist? Sure. However, ask yourself if you can see River Song going to therapy?

Not only that, but River has no ordinary case of ASPD. She wasn’t just raised in an abusive or unsafe household, she was cut off from society during her critical formational years. Most cases of ASPD involve people who grew up in challenging households, but they did have interaction with society at large. I don’t know of any case studies surrounding people with ASPD who were cut off from society in their formational years, but doing some research on “feral children” will allow you to read examples of what happens to children raised away from society.

The case I know the most about is that of Oxana Malaya. You can google her for more. She was quite literally raised by dogs. And she required intense inpatient treatment to unlearn her dog like mannerisms. Even then, she always had a level of intellectual impairment.

Because River was specifically raised to have ASPD, she learned language abilities and was socialized on how to BEHAVE like a person capable of love and empathy and friendship, but she never was capable of these things. She was raised to put on an act to be able to get to the doctor and kill him. She was never capable of anything more.

Even if River saw an off screen therapist, she was never institutionalized, as would’ve been required for her to truly function as a healthy person in any possible way. She couldn’t have just shrugged off her programming. Why did she save the Doctor and give up her regenerations? It couldn’t have been guilt or remorse, but she could’ve developed co morbid Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), which is a common disorder to co occur with ASPD. The narcissism would’ve created within her a need for supply. Supply meaning, a boost to the narcissists ego. Narcissists are not capable of genuine empathy and love, but they are capable of seeking supply in the form of impacting other people’s emotions. And what better source of supply for one’s ego than the last known member of one of the most powerful races known to the universe?

When River decided to undo her murder and save the Doctor, it starts off with a completely nonconsensual kiss. This is a pretty fitting start to a relationship that progresses into a forced marriage.

River then continues to force unwanted innuendos on the Doctor. Probably implying they were intimate just to make the Doctor feel obligated to be intimate with her eventually. This is despite Matt Smith confirming in an interview that his Doctor is asexual. He could be demi or grey sexual, I’ll admit that possibility, but River insists on forcing her hyper sexuality on him at any and all stages in his timeline knowing they wouldn’t be welcome. I should note that hyper sexuality can be a symptom of ASPD. It’s not cute or fun. If River was simply a sexually liberated character, she would not be forcing her innuendos on someone who does not want them. Especially not in the earlier parts of his timeline.

River flounces around feeling and acting entitled to the Doctor’s attention if and when she wants it. When she wants it, he’s expected to come running. Then she disappears when she wants to. Creating a masterfully manipulative cycle of hot and cold emotional abuse. When he loses Amy and Rory, she refuses to travel with him. Leaving him emotionally vulnerable and at her beck and call when and if she feels like using him.

Audio dramas are too numerous to declare as universal canon. I think most fans pick and choose which parts of the extended universe count as canon to them. But in the Dalek Universe series, River appears for one episode where she physically abuses the Doctor. She hits him so hard that he is crying out in pain. And then she gaslights him by telling him it was just a little tap. Now, it’s perfectly valid not to count this moment as canon. But it’s extremely consistent with River’s character and I am personally going to use it against her. Especially since I did see another post somewhere bring up the fact that she did the same thing to the fifth Doctor in another audio.

Finally, the worst part of River’s abuse is the forced marriage. The first time the Doctor meets her, she convinces him that he eventually marries her. But he clearly can’t stand her. He doesn’t want anything to do with her. But now he feels as though he’s obligated to marry her. At first he hopes it’s something that can be changed. Saying that time can be rewritten when Amy asks if he marries River. Right up until the forced wedding he tells River he doesn’t want to marry her. But because she convinced him he does marry her in the library, and because nothing else is convincing River to save the universe, he gives in and gives her what she wants. Assuming it’s the only way to keep the universe from falling apart.

Now, I do understand that anyone who loved the Doctor would not want to bring back a timeline where he died. But River was already willing to start considering it just because he agreed to marry her. Because she got what she wanted and because she got the satisfaction of seeing her manipulations succeed. The Doctor couldn’t even get close enough to her to tell her his plan at first, but she was willing to let him come close to her just because he married her. River valued marriage to the Doctor more than the Doctor’s life.

I know it’s commonly believed among River fans that he only kept his distance because he saw her die. But Remember he couldn’t stand her long before that. He never liked her until he thought he was supposed to. No doubt seeing her die cemented his desire to keep a distance from her. But the point is he did keep a distance from her. He never got close to her and he never wanted to. But River always refused to respect this. She saved him so he could belong to her. So he could be her property.

No doubt the Doctor did develop a level of care and responsibility for her. Because he was a person capable of empathy and remorse. And any target of this kind of emotional abuse will develop some sort of attachment. But he was never in love with her. River herself knew this, but she had to convince herself he never loved anyone. But he did. We know for a fact he was in love with Rose. We know he loved friends like Donna platonically. But he didn’t love River. Nor should he have.

[uncle-fruity]

I really want to underline some truth:

I am a better activist and a more energetic and enthusiastic participant in the issues I care about now that I've stopped believing the guilt trippers and have involved myself in activism on my own terms.

I get to decide what I do and do not care deeply about. That's not another person's place to tell me what I think and feel -- especially if it's a complete stranger. I know myself better than they know me.

I get to decide what is too much for me. I set my own boundaries and priorities. Other people might not agree with me, but they can die mad. I'm not their soldier to recruit, and what I do with my time and energy is my business, not theirs.

I know my body and my limitations better than anyone else. The people who truly love me and support me trust me to manage my ups and downs and do not assign a moral status to me when I take care of my needs first. Especially over time, they know that I will be back and ready to help out as soon as I'm able to. When I'm less able to participate, the people who love and support me take care of me and make sure I know they're there for me.

I am no longer doing activism in any real way online. At most, I try to provide some education and some emotional/mental health support. If you look at my Tumblr, you won't see even half of what I deeply care about. Part of that is a growing sense of internet safety, and another part of that is that there is very little I can do online that's going to make a difference. Another part of that is when you post stuff as a reaction or out of a sense of obligation, you're more likely to spread misinformation, especially if you don't take time to verify the information (which can be genuinely difficult if you don't know how to do that). I fell into that trap a fair amount when I was so guilt ridden that I was terrified to be seen as a Bad Person.

Which brings me to this major point: there will always be people who are quick to judge you and quick to make you out as a Bad Person no matter what you do. In someone's mind, you are probably already a Bad Person. Does that actually make you a Bad Person? Does someone else's definition of good and bad line up with yours, and does it matter? Have you considered that the person calling you a bad person might be a bad person by your standards? Who has the right to strictly define morality in the first place? Regardless of the answers to those questions, you don't have to let other people define you. And the guilt trippers are doing substantially more harm to the cause than people who are trying to rest for their emotional and mental health. I don't think that makes them bad people, but it does make them bad at community building, which is a fundamental necessity for activism.

My advice, if you really want to be a good activist, is to kill the part of your brain that tells you you aren't good enough and don't deserve rest until you are. No one can do it all. No one is a perfect activist or a perfect person. You need to have a clear idea of what your priorities are and what your capabilities are. You need to seek community and, as OP originally stated, joy. It's not just you who needs something to fight for or who needs breaks, your community needs it too. If you overwork and constantly retraumatize yourself, you will eventually hit burnout and you will not be able to help at all for much much longer than if you had just taken a break or made time for the good things in life when you first needed to. You also run the risk of creating a culture where no one else feels like they deserve rest and eventually burn themselves out, too. Then where does the movement go when all its activists are too stressed and tired and having a crisis of morality to do the work? The movement goes to die, is where. Sure, being angry is valid and important, but if that's all that's keeping you here, you're going to find that anger is not sustainable and will eventually give way to extreme depression when you realize that anger alone does not fix the many problems of the world. Your anger and guilt will kill a movement so much harder than indulging in a little positivity and rest from time to time.

Oh, and me? Now that I've gotten out of guilt trippy and frankly abusive online activist spaces, I am so much better at doing activism that matters. I organize a queer art group. I attend meetings to discuss problems and try to find solutions. I have more energy to educate myself and others. I can do more direct action. All of this is stuff that I literally had no space for while I was suffering from the burnout those online spaces caused that I now have space for because I decentralized social media in my life and especially in my activism.

Please. For your own sake and for the sake of the causes you care about: take a break. Have a rest. Do something fun. This is me telling you directly that the people guilt tripping you are being inappropriate & rude at best and literally abusive at worst. It is okay to forget them and live your life in ways that serve both yourself and others. They have no power to send you to Hell, I promise.

Sorry about the rant I'm just SO sick of this "we have to be on all the time never look away if you aren't upset about politics and traumatizing yourself watching people die on Twitter you're wrong and complicit and evil" like I know things are fucked and we need to stay angry but we can do that while also taking a minute to crack open a cold one with the boys or have gay sex or get tipsy at the line dance, we HAVE to have joy to remember why the fuck we're refusing to give up in the first place. Fight like hell for your loved ones and then also go home with them to smoke weed and drink sweet tea and make biscuits covered in honey and butter please, please don't deprive yourself of joy, you're allowed to be happy BEFORE the work is done. You're allowed to be happy.

[cuteandhughesy]

Can I request 32 & 39 with Kirby Dach? Maybe it’s friends and feelings get confessed?

prompt no. 32: "did I stutter?" + prompt no. 39: "you're wearing that?"

the smell of sweet candy mixed with a little bit of jasmine floats through the air, sticking to your neck and chest as you spray the perfume against your skin. once you feel like you’ve done enough, you set the small bottle down against the bathroom counter, a dull thud echoing through your apartment.

you’ve always had a weird routine when you’re getting ready for a date. you always shower and wash your hair, even if your hairs clean—a fresh blow out is always superior and has you look your best. while your hair is drying you do your make up, all wrapped up in your fuzzy white robe, and then you dry your hair. before you get dressed, you spray your perfume. you don’t know why, you’ve always just done it that way.

you leave the bathroom and intended to make your way to your closet and pick out something appropriate for dinner. it’s doesn’t help that your date told you nothing about where he’s taking you—leaving your outfits options very limited. you met this guy on a dating app a few days ago. he seemed nice enough and was eager to take you out, so you thought there was no harm in agreeing.

your friend kirby on the the hand, well, he thinks online dating is stupid. three days ago when you texted kirby about your dinner, his response was; ‘seriously? online dating? again?’

and yeah maybe he’s valid in being skeptical. this ain’t your first online date. and you have a track record of ending up with awful guys—guys who talk over you, don’t pay for you meal, say that you look better in your pictures and many more awful things you choose to forget. those dates always end with you on kirby’s doorstep, tears in your eyes while he brings you into a hug.

three heavy knocks sound on your door, halting your steps hallways into your bedroom. is that your date? already? he’s almost 30 minutes early. you look down at your robe, a robe you’re very much naked under, and frown. against your better judgment you make your way down the hall, and towards the door.

“you’re early,” you start, bright smile on your face as you pull open the door, “I wasn’t expecting-what are you doing here?”

it’s kirby on your doorstep, tall and grinning with a tight jaw, dressed in sweats like it’s causal friday at the office or something. “rude.” he scoffs half heartedly before eyeing your attire—or lack there of—of robe and bare feet, toenails painted a deep red that remind him on his jersey.

“I have a date tonight,” you reiterate, slowly, fingers gripping the edge of the door, “remember?”

kirby’s jaw slacks dramatically, brows furrowing as he makes a noise of remembrance. “that was tonight?” he breathes and then gives you a half assed shrug, “my bad.”

“yes,” you huff, “that was tonight.”

“well,” he sighs, clapping his hands together in a soft clap before brushing past your shoulder and walking straight into your apartment. “i’m here now.” he says.

“sure,” you mumble, shutting the door, “come in kirby.”

“gladly.” he reply’s, making himself comfortable on your work out jade green couch. you found it at a thrift store when you moved to montreal four years ago, and it’s been your baby ever since. “so…where is this guys taking you?” kirby questions casually, pulling on a loose thread half attached to a cushion.

you’ve already started walking back down the hall. the date is still happening whether kirby is here or not, and you’re still half naked. “some restaurant,” you tell him from your closet, “he didn’t specify.”

your voice is a little muffled, but you’re not that far away from the living room, so you’re still audible. regardless, kirby stands up and walks towards the hall. he doesn’t go down, but instead leans against the corner. “isn’t that a red flag?” he asks. la little kidnappy, don’t you think?”

“no.”

“really?” he stresses.

“yes, really,” you breathe a laugh, moving hangers as you search through your section of dresses. “what’s up with you?”

“nothing,” kirby says quickly but casually. you can practically feel his shoulders shrug. “it’s just fridays are usually our movies nights.” he mumbles.

“first of all, we did that one time,” you huff, sliding one of your little black dresses off the plastic hanger and slipping your legs through, “second of all, you usually have a game on fridays.”

“a game that if it was tonight you would’ve be able to come to because of some pointless date.”

you roll your eyes, slipping on the dress completely. it’s simple and plain, but also very flattering and appropriate from a dinner date. maybe a little revealing in the bust, but you’re trying to get your food paid for. you leave your room, “it’s not pointless.” you tell kirby, eyes flashing in surprise when you find him not on the couch, but instead at the end of the hall.

you watch his eyes rake over your dress, jaw popping and tightening as he grinds his teeth. his expression gets hazy and you can’t decide what that means. you swallow, suddenly feeling very nervous, shifting between your two feet as kirby’s eyes slowly find yours again.

he swallows roughly. “you’re wearing that?”

you blink. “what?”

“did I stutter?”

you scoff out a laugh, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

kirby shakes his head in disbelief, tonguing the inside of his cheek as he pauses, eyes trained on the ceiling for a beat. “you’re wearing a dress like that to a mysterious restaurant with a guy you’ve never met,” he says firmly, look back to you, “this sounds like the start of every true crime documentary where the naive pretty girl gets murdered.”

“oh my god!” you huff loudly, arms crossing over your chest, “what’s the deal with you tonight?”

“my deal?” he repeats lowly, taking a step down the hallway and closer to you, “my deal is that I don’t want you to meet up with some guy off tinder who will most likely end up hurting your feelings. and then you’ll be on my doorstop—again—crying because you keep going out with pathetic losers who can’t even hold a conversation.”

your face falls, eyes fluttering in shock. kirby sighs gently, running a hand over his flushing face. he knows he said too much, went too far, but his apology dies on his tongue. words stuck in his throat.

“wow.” you huff lowly, arms dropping against your side with a quiet thud.

finally, kirby manages to find his wording, “sorry.”

“no!” you shake your head, “please, keep going. i’d love to hear how naive I am.”

he sighs, “I didn’t mean it like that and you know it .” kirby takes a few steps closer to you, shoulders hunched forward as if he’s nervous. as if he knows he’s done something wrong.

“sorry, I must’ve missed that part. you know, because of how naive I am.” you don’t give him the opportunity to come any closer, brushing past him aggressively as your shoulder rams into his bicep. you walk down the hall and into the kitchen, busying yourself by grabbing you wallet and phone that you’d left charging on the counter.

there’s a text from your date. he’s 5 minutes out. you’re too upset from the conversation with your friend to reply. your skin feels like it’s itchy, and your nose is stinging with emotion. you’re not sure what prompted kirby to say those things, or what made you react the way you did, but now everything feels awkward and messy. and that’s what’s upsetting you the most.

you sigh, grabbing your things and making your way to your front door. kirby can let himself out you think. it’s not your problem. your hand grasps the the chilling metallic knob, fully intending to wait outside and not have to feel kirby’s eyes on you anymore.

“don’t go.”

your pause, fingers flexing around the door knob as kirby’s deep voice echos through your apartment.

you swallow, “i’m sorry?” you question timidly, back still turned to your friend. your breathe catches as you hear his footsteps come closer, his scent and body heat enveloping your body.

“don’t go out with him,” kirby repeats, “don’t go out with anyone.”

you scoff gently, eyes pointed questionably as you release the door knob, spinning on your heels, “who are you to tell me what to do-“

“i’m the guy who likes you for gods sake,” he’s much closer than you expected, practically pushing you against the front door with his chest. you breathe shakily, shoulder blades digging into the wood as you look up at him. his words feel like a rollar coaster drop in your stomach. your lips part, trying to find words, but you come up short.

“I really like you.” he says after a beat, eyes dancing all over your shock riddled face. staring into your glossy eyes, tracing the outline of your lined lips, counting every single freckle and mole across your cheeks. your skin feels hot, your blood pumping so fast that you can feel it.

“kirby.” you breathe, the pads of your fingers just barley brushing the stomach of his hoodie. realistically, he can barley feel your touch through the material, but somehow it feels like fire.

he licks his lip slowly, eyes darting back down to your lips. his hands gently take ahold of your face, holding the weight of your in his calloused, hockey working palms. “please just…don’t go out with him.” kirby mumbles, nose brushing along the bridge of yours in antagonizing strokes. “stay here with me.” it’s not a question this time, it’s a statement, mouth dusting yours with every words he speaks.

and as he encloses your top lip in between his, kissing you with the most tenderness you’ve ever felt, your date is long forgotten.

—

(unedited)

[isuggestforcefem]

Hello Force-fem!

I have a couple of transfem friends, who, for various reasons, are scared to transition, even though they know it will make them happier and more confident.

I know their fears are valid, the world is so hostile to trans people at this time, but I feel that if they don't transition now, they never will.

What should I do? I don't want to try and force both of them but at the same time I feel that allowing them to continue to subject themselves to this unhappiness is wrong.

Sincerely,

A concerned friend

Doing the first step can be extremely scary. But there are ways one can help. Something I have found to be useful is making this first step easier: finding them the right doctor, showing them the process, how to get certain things. It can be reassuring for many of us to know how easy (and especially, how easier than we thought) it is to begin.

This makes taking this first step a less daunting task. But it may not be enough. There is a push you will need to give them. Reassure them, help them overcome their fears. It is a difficult task, but you mustn’t ever surrender.

[velvetvexations]

As the hyperfeminine she/they afab nonbinary people tend to fearmonger about. (This is not @ you velvet but @ people who genuinely believe in that strawman).

I don't actually use she/they pronouns It's just that if I make an issue out of people using the wrong pronouns I get attacked and treated like I'm trying to be rude to the people I'm correcting. I've had to switch to it/it's pronouns just to get people to correct to they/them, and even with that I still get misgendered on a regular basis.

I don't actually present hyperfemininely people just see someone goth with tits and immediately jump to conclusions about my gender and sexuality (no I will not be your goth dom mommy). Even before I was goth people would see tits and make assumptions, regardless of how many times I explicitly stated that I was nonbinary, or how I presented myself.

And no I don't believe that I'm the most oppressed person but also like. I refuse to believe that I and people like me inherently have it easier than other types of trans people, and that is oftentimes enough to make people treat me like I'm claiming something that I'm not and excusing their mistreatment of me because of that. I say "you people are making incorrect assumptions about the experiences of people like me, my lived experience is not what you're trying to claim it is" and people react as though I've said "you are wrong about the experiences that you've had, or about the experiences of people like you", as though I'm trying to invalidate them rather than my actual intention of bringing attention to an incorrect assumption. Also people talking as though anyone outside of their in-group can't possibly understand things that I have personally experienced, and my attempts at showing support and solidarity being taken as an attempt to invalidate their obviously unique and not possible for outsiders to understand oppression.

So yeah if you believe in that strawman of the transmisogynistic afab nonbinary genderfuck person maybe do some self reflection about whether you've actually been respectful towards afab nonbinary people or whether you're twisting valid annoyance at being misgendered and mistreated into an excuse to continue to misgender and mistreat those people.

You deserve so much better from your siblings, anon. I'm sorry they treat you this way.

[galaxymagitech]

Ah, permission to ramble. I choose to take this at face value and rambled…a lot. Bear with me, I’m not really sure how to articulate this one.

Dick is a peacemaker in the family, but he’s not a peacekeeper. There’s a distinction there that a lot of people miss. They’ll portray him as either constantly fighting Bruce and holding grudges or completely just bowing to Bruce’s every whim.

Dick will fight with Bruce. He’ll stand up for himself or his siblings. But then his anger drains away like water in a colander, leaving him empty. He’s quick to fight, but pathologically quick to forgive. As soon as the fight is over, it just sort of drifts away.

I feel like Dick’s relationship with Bruce very much has a rhythm to it—high tide and low tide and then high tide again and then low tide again. A sort of inevitability that they’re both very aware of. And Dick doesn’t really stay mad at Bruce. He keeps leaving, but when he returns, it’s to help, with his previous grievances forgotten and unaddressed. Even after Bruce hit him over Jason’s death, he comes back without mentioning it to help. He fought Bruce over what he did to Jason, but was still there talking to Bruce as he pulled away and basically made Dick and Barbara the heads of the family. The strange thing is that Dick can hold grudges. But when it comes to Bruce, all that sort of just washes away. The tides again.

Why? Well, I have a theory about that. To some degree it’s subconscious, but people do have some control over their emotions. And staying mad often makes things really hard. For two reasons:

Sometimes, Dick’s relationship with Bruce is good. He doesn’t want to “ruin” it by focusing on Bruce’s past actions—ie: he wants to take advantage of what he knows will be temporary. And also, if Dick is too angry to enjoy the highs, then all he has left are the lows. So in order to get anything positive from interacting with Bruce, Dick has to push away his (100% valid) anger.

People don’t like when you’re angry at them. If Dick lets on that he’s still upset about something that Bruce considers to be in the past, let alone brings it up, the fragile success will be destroyed. And then it’ll be Dick’s fault for breaking the peace. So Dick needs to get really good at letting things go, or else he’ll just send things careening back into a fight, because Bruce leaves everything unresolved.

I’m not saying Dick is making an actual conscious calculation in his head where he goes “I need to stop being angry or else Bruce will hit me again.” But in general, I think that within the constraint of him not really being able to leave Bruce’s orbit, he developed the defense mechanism of pushing this away.

Over time, this becomes so ingrained that Dick literally can’t stay mad at Bruce.

I didn’t experience abuse, but after growing up constantly arguing with my mom I have trouble staying mad at people for any length of time—especially people who have said something hurtful to me. I will continue to act completely normally immediately after a really bad screaming match. Literally, tear tracks still on my face, back to normal interaction, what’s for dinner, here I’ll unload the dishwasher, etc. I’m not even pretending, I just. Literally don’t care anymore. My brain just whisks everything I’m upset about away and I can’t think about it while interacting with the person. Sometimes, depending on the situation, I can think about it at other times. But not when that person is in front of me. Something in my brain won’t let me.

And maybe it’s projection, but I feel like this matches up really well with Dick’s actions. He genuinely can’t stay mad at Bruce because he doesn’t let himself think of those grievances. All the horrible things Bruce has done to him are sectioned off into times when he’s fighting Bruce and forgotten when he’s on good terms with Bruce.

So in the context of therapy, he will genuinely believe it when he recants what he said about Bruce being awful. Because he’ll be calm (and maybe a bit numb) and look back at himself from a week ago and it’ll just be utterly incomprehensible. Why was he so mad anyway? It’s not a big deal. Whatever. It’s fine. He and Bruce are on great terms, no hard feelings! (He can’t have hard feelings, they’ve all just disappeared, and he’s glad of it, because Bruce made a joke during patrol today and that wouldn’t have happened if Dick was refusing to speak to him over something dumb.)

So, yeah. Dick’s anger at Bruce burns hot and then snuffs itself out. He would spend a therapy session crying about the abuse, and then come back the next week being like “oh that me wasn’t in his right mind, ignore it, I’m fine lol” and truly believe what he’s saying.

Oh. And in terms of disregarding his own feelings and believing that he’s completely unreliable when angry? Yeah, Bruce definitely taught him that. Whether through emotional abuse and repeated invalidation, Bruce saying that Dick is too angry for his opinions to have any weight, or just Batman constantly repeating that emotions make you too irrational. But I think Dick would consider anything he says when he’s angry to just be him acting irrationally. He could break down in therapy and say that Bruce is abusive and then just go “oh I was throwing words out there because I was upset, don’t trust whatever I said, Bruce definitely didn’t abuse me.” And then react completely calmly when the therapist asks him if each anecdote actually happened. Yes, Bruce hit him. Yes, Bruce spied on him. Yes, Bruce said that. But it’s all fine, what are you even talking about?

And I think the therapizing himself is a way to sort of skate over that gap in his emotions, because he doesn’t want to confront the fact that his brain is covering up large chunks of memory. So he doesn’t a brief analysis, thinks he’s dug into his brain fully, and then presents this “photocopy” Dick Grayson to the therapist. In his mind, he’s being completely honest. But by simply presenting everything to the therapist in the way he’s determined to be most truthful, he obscures all the messed-up thoughts that led him to that conclusion. It’s why you don’t have the overseers oversee themselves—they may produce a full report and believe it’s completely honest, but they’ll miss the things they don’t want to see.

So if Dick Grayson is going to successfully have therapy, then he should probably actually explain events instead of just presenting his self-psychoanalysis.

I think we all know that each and every one of the Batkids is on the verge of falling apart, constantly, just under the surface.

But I think there's something special about Dick Grayson when you think about him like this. Because generally, I think everyone expects the other batkids to be deranged and unstable, but Dick's general presentation to the outside world is as an easygoing dude. He probably seems like the most normal of the bunch.

But beyond even that, I think Dick thinks he's perfectly fine. Bro goes through life, constantly on the verge of breaking down, his mind consistently picking apart every single thing and every single person in his life, not really trusting anyone, and never really sleeping, and he's just like "Yeah, this is how life works."

Then he looks at all his siblings, and he's like, "Damn, look at how screwed up they are :(" and meanwhile he's 100% the worst of the bunch.

Barbara and Wally are the only people who are privy to this, I think.

[blissfulbluee]

Helloo! I fucking love your analysis on gi-hun's character and the way you defended him lol (gotta defend our bbg <3) And sorry for asking cuz I really need someone smarter than me. I saw a post that blamed Gi-hun for Jung Bae's death, that all he could have done was give Jung Bae money so that he wouldn't go to the games (also for ghosting Jung Bae). And that he could have helped other poor people, but he chose to go back to the games.

Also, a YouTube video comparing and saying "who had it worse?" shows Gi-hun and In-ho.

And those takes frustrated me that I couldn't form into words TOT. I'm like a child asking for validation lol.

(again, sorry for asking and for horrible grammar/english)

Thank you! I truly appreciate it. You are all so nice to me :). Also, don't insult your intelligence, please! All Gi-hun defenders have the smartest most beautifullest brains ever. Also, your english and grammar is great, don't apologize. I hope you are satisfied with this answer. I've been waiting to talk about this one.

I also saw that post. Let me get this out of the way first: everyone is entitled to their opinion and I am not making this post to shame anyone or create drama. I just want to get my points out there.

Jung-bae's death is not on anyone except for In-ho.

Gi-hun was not the cause of Jung-bae entering the games. He "ghosted" Jung-bae because he had just went through horrible, unimaginable things and could barely make it through everyday life. People with tons of trauma like that tend to isolate themselves for many reasons. For Gi-hun, he is carrying a lot of weight and it's hard to keep up with relationships when you are constantly experiencing emotional pain. He doesn't want to burden people with that, or put them at risk by being the prior winner who is out to stop the games.

Also, how was he supposed to know Jung-bae was desperate enough to join the games or that he was even a target? He didn't know that he had debt like that or was losing his family to divorce. Maybe you can argue that he would have if he kept in contact, but see my above statements.

In addition, it is vital to Gi-hun's character and his plotline that he sees that money as blood money. He only started using it when he was desperate to stop the games. Plus, what would paying off peoples debts do in the long run? It doesn't erase future debts or all debts for that matter. Gi-hun didn't win that much money. Yes, that is still a good and easier thing to do, but that would not stop the games. It makes sense for him to use the money for finding the recruiter instead so that even if someone has a debt (which is pretty much unstoppable) that they won't be placed in fucking death games. Plus, wouldn't you also want to know about the games and how to stop them after all that had happened to you?

I just don't think its fair to blame Jung-bae's death on Gi-hun, at all.

[ultimate-marysue]

Once again I'm begging DC to stop introducing super cool plotlines that they intend to abandon and barely acknowledge ever again.

Like, what do you mean that -in the fucking reality we live in- there's no comics of immunodeficient young CEO Tim Drake fighting antivaxxers?? Why isn't there an arc of Red Robin risking his life in those awful Gotham Sewers to save someone he cares about?? How tense it could be, him having to come up with ways in which to remain isolated from the sewage, each new fight becoming increasingly riskier just by virtue of Tim losing resources to keep himself safe. Maybe even choosing sure infection to save someone else and not knowing if he'll make it. Hell, give the guy his own rogue that's like a plague doctor infecting people with bioengineered viruses.

Bruce and Damian with their broken backs/missing spines are similar in the sense of, what even is the point of introducing this thing as such a big event only to forget about it???? Like, I get not dragging the "will Batman recover?" And that, to some extent, he must recover because it's Batman and I know DC is not going to let Bruce Wayne retire ever. But right now we're not even at a ret-con when they rearranged the universe to keep Bruce at a working age, he still has a broken back in canon and it's barely mentioned. I remember during Failsafe/Zurr he keep talking about getting old and his missing hand and stuff and it's like...bitch there's more pressing issues than your two grey hairs.

Like, I'm not even complaining about the emotional set ups they never pay off because they can't be bothered to figure out how to get characters from point A (disliking each other for very valid reasons/complicated and complex feelings) to point B (happy sitcom family). I'm talking about these grand moments they like to introduce as a way to raise the stakes with no intention of ever dealing with the consequences. Which, you know, immediately nullifies said stakes????

And let's also not get into completely rebooting the universe without paying off some characters set ups and then dragging the character around with nothing to do. Like yes, I get that Steph's Robin era and its ending may not be canon now?? But why couldn't it be cano so that at least she has stuff to do? And personality?? Like, yeah, brutally torture the girl who just gave birth for shock value and then completely forget about both those things.

It's just...it's worse than bad. It's a waste of potential for characters most of the time until someone comes along and decides to actually write something interesting for them (new Cass run for example, or Juni Ba's Boy Wonder). I don't get why DC doesn't let writers actually commit to at least some semblance of consequences for the characters which, in turn, could give you such interesting arcs and new thematic villains. Anyways..

[whereismywizardhat]

I voted for Kamala Harris, even though it made me want to vomit. So fuck off with that traitors comment.

Even if I had not, it does not change the fact that Biden's support of genocide in Gaza was the noose around both his and Harris's campaign, for many reasons.

First, when the student protests were happening, Biden chose to throw them under the bus. College students make up the majority of phone banks and other get-out-the-vote efforts, and Biden backstabbed them, emptying out one of the only resources that Democrats generally have an advantage, youth enthusiasm. People that may have worked for free instead stayed home.

Second, Biden's interactions with Netanyahu were incredibly effective at painting him as a toothless old man, waving his fist at that ol' meany while handing the genocidaires a blank check. This impression directly lead to that disastrous debate with Trump which confirmed everyone watching's worst fears. Centrist voters expect their president to project strength (whether it is valid or not), and Biden showed weakness, first on the news and then on the only stage that matters.

Thirdly, the switch happened and Harris had an opportunity to turn it around simply by blaming everything that happened before on Biden. But instead, Harris burned any enthusiasm she had by doubling down. When asked if there was anything Biden was doing that she would change, she replied "Not a thing". When given the opportunity to reconcile with voters by allowing an Arab-American political group speak at the DNC, she instead kept them off stage. When she should have been doing anything she could to win back young voters, she instead starting campaigning next to the loser daughter of Dick Cheney, one of the architects of the last mass slaughter of Arabs by the US. Liz Cheney was already defeated and humiliated by MAGA when Harris was buddying up to her, there was no benefit to doing this.

We later learned that the polling agencies for Harris were instructed to delete and block any voter that brought up Gaza while polling, rather then address that concern.

Violence. Weakness. Arrogance.

When I say "Dems lost because of the genocide.", I am assessing what went wrong, and putting into the most succinct way possible. It means that the democrats sabotaged their Left wing support by spreading blood libel while handing bombs to an apartheid state, and they sabotaged their centrist support by looking weak. They never had any right wing support, because people who like when Dems act right wing like it better when the GOP does the same thing because they're louder about their racism.

The democrats took a gamble that they could fire their voters and get better ones, with no evidence that better voters existed. They actively chose, again and again, to disengage voters who had previously brought Biden to victory, while pursuing replacements that would never in a million years abandon Trump for them.

People who didn't vote for democrats in 2024 did so because the democrats clearly said to them "We are not on your side.", and they responded appropriately, by sitting it out. Exit polls show this, Trump got about the same amount of votes, while Harris's dropped from Biden 2020.

Dems lost because of the genocide.

I STILL sometimes see people argue that Trump's victory is the fault of Democrats for not being good enough at messaging, and not making it clear enough to Americans all the good Biden was doing.

I knew. Lots of people I know knew. I don't have a secret line to the white house. I'm around average intelligence. I'm not excessively seeking out news, constantly getting news updates. And yet I knew. And so did many others. The information was there for you to get at any time. It found its way to me without my actively seeking it out. Kamala Harris cannot personally come to your house and slap the tiktok out of your hands. You have to take a crumb of responsibility here.

[cy-cyborg]

Please remember I am trans/nonbinary, my pronouns are xe/they.

I am starting to get genuinely annoyed with people’s shocked or doubtful reactions to hearing I want to have kids in the near-ish future. And I don’t mean strangers. Strangers say weird things to me all the time lol. I mean my family, my doctors, people who have known me for decades.

My mum in particular has made several comments now ranging from just genuine shock at the mention my partner and I are planning for kids during a conversation about plans for the future (I’ve literally talked about wanting kids to her since I was a kid) to outright saying during a casual conversation that “they (referring to doctors) probably wouldn’t let me carry to term”. Over Christmas my partner also told mum that we had some news we wanted to share in person, and her first reaction was “Cy’s not pregnant are they?” My partner said no and she responded with “oh thank god!”

My sister and dad have also made similar comments. Dad has brought up valid concerns (mainly about some genetic stuff that caused complications for my mum) sprinkled with the same ableism my mum always goes to. My sister I’m willing to give a bit more leniency, since she’s the only family member I talk about my transition with and she admitted recently she thought i was already medically transitioning and she thought that made you infertile so she just assumed kids were off the table. Neither of those things are true but her doubts at least aren’t tied to my disability, just bad info.

But it’s the doctors (and other healthcare professionals) that are the most frustrating. It’s not one or two. It’s nearly every doctor. Every nurse. Every medical technician. If the subject comes up, they all have something to say about it.

I don’t want to go into pregnancy blind, I know I would be at higher risk than the average pregnant person and I want to know what those risks are before I agree to them. I want to know what recourses are available. I want to know how me being in a wheelchair will change the process of things like giving birth. I want make sure the local hospital is equip to deal with that and I won’t be having to educate people while I’m in labour or if I’m better off going somewhere else.

But every doctor I’ve tried to discuss the subject with has shut the topic down and hand waved it with “we’ll cross that bridge if we get to it”. Like it’s something I’d obviously want to avoid that I probably don’t need to worry about. Even trying to get my contraceptive replaced, get a fertility test done or even getting a damn pap smear has been a nightmare. why am I fighting to get a Pap smear??? I’m nearly 30 and still haven’t been able to get one because several doctors seem to be under the impression I’m not sexually active, even when I bring my partner into the appointment. If they say it out loud (half the time they dance around the subject) and I correct them, they are genuinely shocked, then tell me we’ll worry about that later. Nurses and other healthcare providers are no better. There’s been several occasions where I haven’t been asked the mandatory “could I be pregnant” question when going for X-rays or CT scans (and I know they were supposed to ask because if I ask to see the paperwork, it’s always there and they’ve just checked “no” without asking), or if I am asked at intake, they say something to the effect of “I know the answer is probably no, but is there any chance you could be pregnant?”

Though I take back what I said earlier, there’s one comment from strangers on this front that pisses me off, and it’s “be thankful you don’t have to deal with being pestered about having kids”.

No, I won’t be thankful when my reproductive health is ignored, my family are telling me constantly they think I shouldn’t have kids or expressing surprise that I’m even “allowed to” and I can’t even get any answers about what it would look like if I DO get pregnant. My heart goes out to the people who are harassed and pressured into having kids, and to the people whose health is ignored for the sake of them being able to have a baby. Both my mother and sister have dealt with that, my mum almost died because they didn’t want to do anything that would prevent her from having more kids she didn’t want after my younger sister was born. But BOTH things are terrible and shouldn’t be happening!

Im not unreasonable, if someone brought up a decent, genuine concern to me that wasn’t just “can someone in a wheelchair even look after a kid” or “I didn’t think someone like you even has sex” I would reconsider. If it was found I would be likely to experience serious complications for myself or the baby, I would reconsider. If I found out I wasn’t going to have the needed supports to raise a kid, I would reconsider. But everyone assumes that’s what I want. If I were infertile, or any of these things were true, I’d reconsider, but I’d be upset about it! I’ve always wanted to be a parent and if that was something that wasn’t actually possible, I would be sad about it.

But my family members talk to me about it in the same way they did when I was 10 and didn’t know where babies came from, doctors are shocked at the idea I’m even sexually active let alone thinking about children. I’m genuinely worried the people in my life other than my partner would treat any fertility issues like a good thing, or be shocked that I’d be upset if kids weren’t actually on the table anymore.

[nikethestatue]

Sometimes I think engaging in any discussion about ships validates the existence of one that is in my opinion a completely fanon made up entity.

Imagine if we stopped acknowledging it altogether…

And to be honest, I think that is what SJM and Bloomsbury are doing. They gave information to big mainstream media companies to indicate the direction of the next book, and I’m sure there was a stipulation that said do not mention certain things.

Currently in the books one fanon ship does not exist. But in mainstream entertainment media and SJM social media account, it doesn’t exist either. It’s not even acknowledged in any format . That includes sjm interviews, that are only allowed to ask SJM certain questions. 

What would happen if it was not enough worthy of debate?

You have no idea how much I agree with you, anon. And I've attempted to do just that a few times. I've REALLY attempted to do it after HOFAS because so many things were so clear after it. That there is no GA, that the Cauldron WAS wrong, that women are more than just their wombs, and a dozen other things.

But fandom is a live thing and unfortunately, the ebbs and flows of it don't allow for the death of GA. People see the discourse, they see the fan arts, they get confused, they ask questions.

The default should be--you read the book, you are sure of what you've read. You go online and you see GA stuff. Your initial reaction was the RIGHT ONE. If you are confused by GA, you should be. You read the books correctly. Alas, others are so belligerent and so loud that you need to go and seek validation to your own sanity, and then the thing starts all over again.

It sucks.

Until we get some kind of an announcement, it wont go away.