#I can’t afford to have it postponed because I have to go back to classes and insurance only covers enough for over winter break

[unintentional-sad-wizard]

Worried that my health stuff might be acting up again augh

[quierd-kitten]

There’s nothing like taking a selfie, then looking at it like “damn bitch are you ok???”

[springrainsworld]

I used to love the subject of mathematics when I was in elementary school. I enjoyed solving problems like addition and subtraction. However, when we were introduced to multiplication, I couldn't understand how to solve it correctly. Since then, I became afraid of math. We were called one by one to the front of the whole class to solve multiplication and division problems. As math became more and more difficult, it involved different letters and required the use of various formulas to arrive at the correct answer.

It's enjoyable to solve math problems when you listen carefully to your teacher. I was afraid of the subject of math, as it was my weakness back then. But now that I have learned to understand it, solving different problems has become easier for me, depending on how well I comprehend them.

I love the subject of mathematics because it made me realize how important it is. Imagine if we didn't have math, how would we count money? What if someone tries to deceive us because they know we are weak in computation? They could easily take advantage of us. That's why it's crucial to learn mathematics while we are still young.

Just like what William Paul Thurston said, "Mathematics is not about numbers, equations, computations, or algorithms: it is about understanding."

Mathematics is a discipline that studies numbers, geometric shapes, relationships, and proofs. In everyday life, mathematics plays a crucial role. It is used in activities such as making payments, scheduling time, interpreting graphs, conducting analysis, and more. Mathematics is also essential in fields such as science, technology, economics, architecture, and other professions.

Most of us don’t like the subject of math, but the reason we are afraid of math is because it is difficult due to the numerous formulas. Another reason is that we might get scolded by our teacher if we can’t solve it correctly. The subject of math is not just meant to give us a hard time solving every equation that we need to answer in math class, but we can also apply it to our daily activities. For example, when we go shopping and we have a budget to follow, mathematics can be used to ensure that we don’t exceed our allocated money. By performing calculations and dividing the value of products by their prices, we can determine which ones we can afford to buy and which ones we should postpone or avoid. Using mathematics in budgeting helps us become more meticulous and have better control over our expenses.

We can engage Mathematics in game such as chess, dama, and soduko.

By incorporating games into the learning process, we can make math fun, engaging, and exciting for kids and adults.

Remember, learning can be fun, and math is no exception! 🎲🧮

-Meullo_Joriebel

-Mendoza_Juliana

[writings-by-fairy]

In the Stacks

Fandom: Marvel, Spiderman

Pairing(s): Peter Parker x Ned Leeds

Words: 3,000

Rating: M

Warnings: sexual content

Summary: Peter helps Ned study in an interesting way.

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Ned sighed heavily, he dared to look down at the clock though he knew that time would not be on his side tonight: 11:49PM. Knew it. He had been tucked away at one of the single desks in the stacks of the library since 4pm; no one went there because the chairs, desks, and books were all vintage (and not in a cute way). The stacks held books that hadn’t been checked out since the 60s, maybe 1860s. Ned’s favorite thing to do when he is really stressed and needs a second away from school is going up and down the endless aisles and picking up a random book to see when the last time someone checked it out.

He was getting close to shutting the book and saying “it is what it is” but he knows his grade cannot afford that right now (It really could but Ned has way too much anxiety for that). He stares at the empty coffee cup that sits on the corner while debating in his head. Should he just give up for tonight and pray his way through his 9am exam…or wait should he just stay up all night and sleep after the exam…no…but…no. well…

Ned mentally slaps himself and sits up right, he needs to get an A on his intro to quantum physics exam. Ned thought to himself: Come on, you can do this, right? It’s an intro class, a 400-level intro class. Just as Ned started to get in his own head, two soft hands covered his eyes. He was too tired to even be startled.

Peter took his hands down slowly, “That bad,” Ned couldn’t tell if Peter was asking or stating but either way, he was right: it was bad. Ned offered up what he had hoped looked like a smile, he turned in his chair to face Peter more, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the book. His hopeless eyes dance across the open pages noncommittally before opening his arms the best he could to so Peter could stand beside Ned. Peter smiled at the invitation not wasting a second more before standing beside him while wrapping an arm around Ned’s shoulders. Peter could physically feel Ned relax in his arms, poor boy.

“Intro?”

“Intro.”

“Exam is…”

Ned sighed, “tomorrow, 8am.” It hurt him to say it out loud, unwilling to admit the truth. Silly as it is, he still had that hope Canvas would give him a notification that said “exam postponed! Hooray!”.

“Oh, Ned.” Concern and empathy ran deep in his voice. It was one of those moments where Peter truly felt like he would do anything for Ned, it hurt him so much to see Ned struggling that hard. They both (despite Peter not even being in the class) had spent countless hours and infinite amounts of energy on this class: studying until dawn, tutors, going to office hours, endless YouTube videos.

Peter maneuvered himself so that he was sitting sideways in Ned’s lap. Peter’s legs dangled slightly when he sits down in Ned’s lap (Ned can’t help the beat his heart skips every time he notices).

Peter scanned the pages, flipping back and forth to the answers, lesson, example, anything that would help him understand it so that he could help Ned. A sense of disappointment and desperation creeped onto Peter, why can’t he understand so Ned doesn’t have to be stressed anymore? Despite the failure and self-criticism that Peter is thinking about, Ned’s heart can’t help but fill with love: Peter did so much for him in so many ways.

He could help it anymore, Ned grabbed Peter’s chin, pulling Peter’s face towards him slightly. Their eyes stayed looking at each other, deeper conversations that not even they will ever understand before Ned brought Peter in. Ned loved how easily he could control Peter, but he would never say that out loud. The thought of someone seeing them crossed their mind but melted into a kiss. No one came down here anyways, plus it was so late on a random weekday.

One of Ned’s arms was wrapped around Peter’s back acting as a back rest for Peter and the other slowly creeped its way up Peter’s thigh. Peter’s hands grabbed onto Ned’s wrist, both hands needed to enclose completely around Ned’s wrist. One hand almost reached completely, but there was still a good gap between his thumb and middle finger. God, Ned loved how small Peter was compared to him, another thing he would never say out loud.

Ned pulled back and Peter was already disheveled. He was already flushed and slightly out of breath, lips already so red. Peter’s body was so reactive to Ned.

“No, no. Don’t pout, baby boy.” Peter’s eyes slowly looked up at Ned. “I have an idea for how you can help, okay?” Peter felt ecstatic, a way he could help Ned finally. He shot straight up nodding rapidly.

Ned wordlessly scooted them back in the chair and had Peter stand up between his legs. Peter was now a little confused, maybe Ned needed to change positions, maybe he was going to have Peter turn around and look at it again, maybe Ned was going to say, ‘you can help by leaving’ and Peter would do anything. Strong hands found their way to Peter’s shoulders and now he found himself being pushed down. He felt even more confused but his obedient nature took over and he fell into position.

Peter sat on his knees between Ned’s legs, eyes big up at Ned, just waiting. Ned placed his foot on Peter’s chest and pushed him back until the sound of Peter’s back hitting the back of the desk was heard. Despite Peter’s extremely confused face, Ned kind of gave him the look that said you know what to do and the thing was. He had been expecting to help Ned with Quantum Physics so he was quite confused why he was under the table instead of up there with Ned. Ned just started working on study guide again like nothing was happening.

Peter blinked a few times snapping himself out of his daze. It clicked in his head what was happening. He slowly unzipped Ned’s zipper, cringing at each click. He pulled Ned out of his pants, and he was completely soft, stressed of his exam getting to him. This was Peter’s favorite way to have Ned. Usually, Ned was already hard by the time Peter even touched him and don’t get Peter wrong, he was flattered but he wanted to work for it. This was Peter’s secret he will never admit out loud.

Peter began to stroke Ned’s flaccid penis while his mouth began to water heavily. He wanted it in his mouth so badly but wanted to enjoy this moment. He started slow but began to pick up when Ned twitched in his hand. The twitch was Peter’s signal to take it a step farther. He slid his hand up and under Ned’s hoodie. No one would notice as his hoodie was baggy so Peter felt confident to do that.

Ned let out a grunt and Peter could hear the pencil slam on the table. Peter took this as his sign to really pick up the pace. He retracked his hand from Ned’s nipple and brought himself to Ned’s penis. Peter started slow, only sucking on the first two inches causing Ned to hiss.

Despite being inexperienced, Peter was probably one of the best at giving head. It was partially due to the fact it was Peter’s favorite thing to do. He was eager to please the whoever the lucky person was, they could tell.

“Oh fuck, Pete.” Ned grumbled quietly to himself. He could feel Peter smile around his cock, the praise making him excited.

Ned felt Peter moan around him, he knows Peter loves to suck his dick but not enough to just moan with no cause. He snuck back to look down at Peter to find him rubbing himself through his sweatpants.

“Peter.” Peter’s eyes shot open; he knew he had been caught just based off how Ned said his name. He froze, not entirely sure what to do, he eventually pulled off but his eyes say fixed on the floor.

“I am sorry,” Ned didn’t say anything which caused Peter to look up attentively. Their eyes met and Ned was silently communicating what he wanted from Peter but Peter could not figure it out. They stayed there for a minute: Ned’s eyes just staring, waiting for Peter to get it while Peter started to fidget, he is not getting it.

Ned decided to have mercy on his boy, “I am sorry…”

Peter’s eyes widen with realization, “Sir! I am sorry, sir.” He nodded, content that he figured out the mystery behind Ned’s silence.

Ned smiled down at Peter, “Now there is my good boy.” Peter swore he felt himself lift off the floor and go to heaven. He had to look down for a second to prove to himself he is in fact still on Earth. “Now we still have to punish you so hands behind the back and keep them there.” Peter nodded sadly; he knew he disobeyed Ned but that didn’t make the hurt go away. Peter hated going against Ned’s rules and technically he broke two.

“Open your mouth.” Peter’s head tipped back, and he opened his mouth wide, just how Ned liked it. Ned quickly wrapped his fingers in Peter’s curls pulling his head towards Ned. Peter moaned from surprise and pleasure. He felt spit hit his tongue and he flinched back. “Swallow.” Peter closed his eyes and swallowed like it was blessing.

“Thank you, sir.”

“Still had to punish you for forgetting how to address me.” Looking back on it, Peter was slightly confused on why Ned randomly spit in his mouth, but he just accepted it. This wasn’t something new to them or anything. “You may continue.”

Peter leaned forward, slightly off balanced, now his hands were behind his back. Before, Peter’s hands were doing a majority of the work. Peter was just sucking the tip teasingly. Peter sucked down Ned’s cock a few times but only a little bit before he started bobbing all the way. Ned’s breathing picked up and he regripped his pencil tightly.

Peter knew that he was good but to hear and see Ned start to fall apart made him euphoric. He closed his eyes and started to move up and down at a slow pace, somewhat teasing Ned. A soft sore began in Peter’s jaw, he could help but love it. He knew Ned was on the uphill battle of his climax as he started to readjust how he was sitting every 30 seconds.

“Ned?” Ned’s head snapped up. “Bro, what’s up?” One of the frat guys in Ned classes that thought it was funny to be friends with Ned because he was overweight, awesome. They do invite Ned and Peter to the frat parties and the two of them do go sometimes.

“Sup, Paxton.” Ned nodded his head nonchalantly. While Ned was slowly losing his cool, an idea, a bad idea, crossed Peter’s mind.

“Yo, Brody! It’s Ned!” Oh my gosh, Ned prayed the Earth would swallow him whole. He was already at such a short fuse; he did not have time for Brody and Paxton. Now, Peter started his plan. He figured while Ned was talking to the two frat guys, he could release some pressure that he was experiencing.

Peter could hear the slight jog approach the two of them, “Ned, my guy! You coming out tomorrow? Its dress like Freddie Friday, its his birthday so…” The sound of Paxton continued to infect the air but Ned could not care less as he had something bigger to focus on: not coming right in front of them.

Peter could hear Paxton ramble on and on about the party and what crazy things they had planned. He took this time to reach his hands to the front of him, he gave a few experimental strokes before committing. It felt so good that he forgot what he was doing originally so Ned stayed still in his mouth.

“Where is that little boyfriend of yours?” Brody finally interrupted Paxton who was still somehow going on about the party. He looked around as if Peter would be hiding on the exposed pipes or behind a stack of books. The two of them constantly made jokes about Ned and Peter dating, though they technically aren’t, they are extremely exclusive.

While that conversation was happening, Peter was getting close to release himself. The thought of two people unknowing to what was happening underneath the vintage desk really did something to Peter. He lovef the idea of Brody and Paxton looking down at any moment and see Peter in his knees. His hips started to move back and forth as he found a steady rhythm with his hand.

Paxton’s smile softly sat on his face, “Oh yeah, that Peter guy…” he looked down at his shoes. This is when Ned finally noticed Peter had stopped and he only had the head resting delicately on his tongue. Ned sent a little prayer to whoever would listen and dared a look down at Peter. Rage filled him instantly. He brought his foot up and tapped Peter’s hand lightly causing Peter’s eyes to snap open and his breath hitch. He had been caught.

“Just like you asked last time, Peter is not my boyfriend.” Ned sighed heavily, anger about the whole situation raising every minute.

Paxton chuckled like a dad who just said an awful joke to his kid’s friends, “You know,” he looked at Brody knowingly. “that’s a shame, Peter is real nice. I know I’m straight but” There was a secret joke said between Brody and Paxton as they started laughing obnoxiously. The two frat brothers said their goodbyes with a hard hit to Ned’s shoulder and a see you. He could hear them talk about Peter, more specifically, things they would want to do to Peter.

Once they were out of earshot, Ned pushed his chair back making Peter choke a little at the sudden movement. “Peter.”

“I-“ Peter choked then cleared his throat. “I am sorry, sir. I just thought while you were-“Ned slapped Peter causing him to moan quietly. He readjusted himself as his knees were starting to hurt and he looked down at the ground.

“You are here to please me…not yourself,” Ned scooted closer and grabbed Peter by the hair. “got it, slut?”

Peter just nodded quickly and tried to inch forward only to be stopped by Ned pulling his hair back. “Nngh…yes sir.” Peter panted a little and swallowed back nothing. “I am yours, all yours. I’m your slut. Please!”

Peter’s eyes were glossed over and pupils blown wide giving him a puppy dog affect. Ned had not even realized but he was feeling a little jealous and maybe a little insecure about the comments the two unwanted guests were making. To hear how they would please Peter made Ned mad but he instantly let out the breath he was holding when Peter said that. Hearing Peter say that he was all Ned’s made Ned feel grounded because he knew Peter really meant that.

Ned scooted his chair forward pulling Peter down on his cock. He gaged at first but soon got adjusted. He tried to pull back but found Ned holding him in place by his hair. Peter panicked for a second, he made a move to put his hands on Ned’s legs but instead tightened his grip around his wrists. He found a way to calm himself down and closed his eyes.

There wasn’t much warning but Ned gave a few good thrusts before coming down Peter’s throat. Ned pulled back and made a few deep breathes. While he was breathing slowly, he looked down and saw Peter waiting patiently.

“Go ahead and swallow, baby boy.” Ned smiled at him. “Now tuck me away and come sit on my lap.” Peter frowned from his spot on the floor, he had a bad feeling. He slowly zipped Ned’s pants back up and crawled up from under the chair. Ned patted his lap so Peter could climb delicately on Ned’s lap.

“You know I love you?”

Peter nodded while looking down at his lap, he started chewing his lips.

“So you know that I am punishing you because you earned it okay?”

Peter sniffled pulling at the end of his sleeves. “Okay.” He wrapped his arms around Ned’s shoulders and took a couple calming breaths before looking at Ned in the eyes. Peter looked like a wreck: his hair was everywhere, his lips were bruised, his eyes slightly red, some of his eyelashes were clumped together.

“Get your yourself together, kid!” Ned laughed before running a few fingers through Peter’s hair. He pulled Peter back and just admired him, he couldn’t understand why or how he got so lucky. Ned would never know but Peter was thinking the same thing.

Ned pushed Peter to stand up but pulled him into a a tight hug. While he was hugging Peter, he started looking over his homework again and he gasped.

“I got it, Peter!” Ned pushed Peter up against the desk and grabbed a pencil. Peter giggled at the situation, Ned wrapped around him scribbling at his notebook.

Ned started laughing before rapidly packing up his bag, Peter smiled so big because he knew that meant they were going to cuddle in bed now.

Ned threw his bag on his back and kissed Peter before wrapping his arms around his shoulders and leading them towards the dorm. “Thank you, baby boy.”

Peter just smiled as they made their way through the lobby. “Maybe you can get a reward when we go home.” Ned whispered before opening the door for Peter.

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I am on AO3 as the same username if you want to check out my other works. This is on there :P Requests are open so please message me

XOXO Fairy

[jaehyunfirstlove]

It’s senior year and you have no time for distractions, so you make a pact with your best friend, Jaehyun, that you both won’t date and just help each other make it through the year. You weren’t prepared for your brother’s friend to show up and throw your world into chaos. Will you make it out unscathed, or will you gain a boyfriend and lose a friend in the process? (More importantly, will you graduate from college :)

Pairing: college!Jaehyun x f. reader, Lucas x f. reader (briefly)

Special appearances: Lucas, Mark

Genre: best friends to lovers, college au, fluff, angst, smut (18+ only)

Warnings: pining, love triangle, unprotected sex, Lucas is irresistible, Mark is annoying, Y/N is clueless, Jaehyun is jealous

Word count: 7.9k

Taglist: @jaehyunnie77, @nctsworld​ (send me a message if you want to be tagged in future fics)

A/N: This has been living in my head for a while, not sure it turned out the way I wanted it to but I wanted to get it out before Dear.M came out (edit: since Dear.M has been postponed I guess it doesn’t matter).  Also my contribution to @nctsworld writing challenge :)

You’ll never forget that day.

It was already a few weeks into the semester and someone was still moving in, boxes and other miscellaneous belongings stacked beside the elevator. You found it odd that someone would start school so late but you just shrugged your shoulders, thinking it had nothing to do with you and just waited patiently for the next elevator.

“Noona!” you turned at the sound of your brother’s voice, knowing he would be the only one who would call you that in public.

“I told you to stop calling me that when we’re at school,” you rolled your eyes at him but he just laughed, completely ignoring you.

“Look who it is!” he smacked your shoulder and pointed excitedly behind him. You craned your head to look around him, and met eyes with a familiar face. Only it was much handsomer and more grown up than you remembered.

“Hi noona,” he shyly waved with one hand, holding a box handily with the other.

“Lucas?” you recognized him but at the same time you were shocked at the change. You only remembered a grubby and chubby little kid who wreaked havoc with your younger brother, the two of them together a swirling tornado of flailing limbs and piercing shrieks, leaving a trail of destruction in their wake. The very memory of it made your eye twitch.

Yet here he was standing in front of you, much taller than you, that cute face from childhood transformed into the chiseled features that made people swoon. Indeed you felt your knees weak at the sight of him, noticing how the muscles in his arm bulged as he held the box.

He blushed as you stared, and you metaphorically picked your jaw up off the floor as your brother went on chattering.

“... came back from abroad and he was lucky to get in! And since I didn’t have a roommate they paired him with me! Everything works out in the end, isn’t that cool?” Mark was talking animatedly, practically vibrating with excitement at the prospect of tearing it up again with his childhood friend.

“Yeah, that’s awesome,” you replied, swallowing thickly. This would not do. You had no time to be attracted to anyone, let alone your brother’s friend.

“Well, it was nice to see you again, noona,” Lucas smiled at you. The elevator doors had opened and they had both stepped in.

“Y-yeah, nice to see you too, Lucas,” you stuttered, and his smile grew until it reached his eyes, “and you can call me Y/N!” you called out, but the elevator doors were already closing.

“Shit.” You muttered under your breath, your brain already swirling with thoughts of this new complication.

“What’s up?”

“Hm?” you turned to see your best friend, Jaehyun, come up to stand beside you.

“You look like you just saw a ghost,” he chuckled, elbowing you playfully.

“Not a ghost,” you replied thoughtfully, “just Mark’s friend, but he’s grown up.”

Jaehyun laughed at you. “Well duh, that’s what people do? Grow?”

“No, I mean he’s grown. Like ‘holy shit he’s a man’ type of grown.” You shook your head at the thought of it, eyes glazed over, completely missing how Jaehyun frowned as he watched your reaction.

“Ah,” was all he said, before he suddenly smacked you in the arm, jolting you out of your reverie. “Hey, but remember our pact. No dating!” he stated firmly.

“Pfft,” you scoffed, “I’m not attracted to him at all,” you said, a bit too loudly. Jaehyun eyed you, completely unconvinced, especially since you could feel your cheeks heating up.

“Well, whatever,” he shrugged, turning away from you so you couldn’t see the disappointment in his face. “Let’s go to class.”

---

For the next few weeks you avoided Lucas as much as you could, which wasn’t too hard since he was a sophomore and had no classes anywhere near you. But that also meant you had to avoid your brother, since they were roommates.

[Noona, why can’t you just drop it off? I need it so bad!!]

[I can’t go all the way to your dorm today, just meet me outside the cafe and I’ll give it to you]

You put your phone down on the table, sighing at Mark’s less than enthusiastic text in response.

“What’s wrong?” Jaehyun asked, looking up from his books.

“Oh Mark needed this fan,” you pointed to the bag at your feet, “I just told him to come here and pick it up.”

“I was wondering why you were lugging that thing all over campus,” Jaehyun peeked underneath the table at the fan tucked messily into a battered Trader Joe's reusable shopping bag. “Why didn’t you just bring it to his dorm?”

You shook your head vehemently. “Oh no no no, I am not going there. Can’t do it. Won’t do it.”

Jaehyun watched you carefully as you nervously played with your hair. “Is it because of him?” he finally asked.

You nodded absentmindedly, “I can’t afford any distractions right now, right? No dating, like you said!” You slammed your fist onto the table forcefully, but Jaehyun didn’t flinch. He just stared at you.

“You like him that much.” It was meant to be a question but came out more like a statement, and in a tone you’d never heard from your best friend. It sounded almost accusatory.

“Hey! Can you blame me? Have you seen him?” you went into defense mode, completely misinterpreting his tone of voice. He just turned his face away from you, unable to hide the hurt he was feeling. You just thought he was upset that you might be threatening the pact you both had made so you tried to smooth things over. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to date him. But it’s better that I don’t see him too much, you know?”

“Good idea,” was all Jaehyun said, before he turned his attention back to his books.

“Noona!” you looked up to see Mark walking towards you, and you were about to rebuke him for calling you that when you saw who was with him.

“Hi noona,” Lucas smiled, coming to stand beside Mark. Your heart was beating out of your chest at the sight of him, your throat suddenly dry.

“H-hi guys,” you managed, before turning to Mark, “I told you to meet me outside?”

“Sorry we wanted a drink,” he turned to Jaehyun, “hey hyung, you remember my friend, Lucas?” he gestured towards Lucas excitedly.

“Of course,” Jaehyun said politely, “Nice to see you again, man,” he held out his hand and Lucas shook it enthusiastically.

“I heard you were at this school too, this is so cool!” Lucas exclaimed, “We’re all back together again!”

Despite Lucas and Mark’s bright demeanors you felt a tension in the air so thick you could cut it with a knife. You were puzzled as to where it could be coming from, looking from your brother to Lucas to Jaehyun. No one seemed to be giving anything away, until Jaehyun locked eyes with you and you saw something flash for a split second.

It was a look you’d never seen before, that you couldn’t quite place. Was he angry? Did he not like Lucas? You went back through your memories but you couldn’t remember them not getting along, Jaehyun had no siblings so Mark and Lucas were like little brothers to him. So what was this feeling?

“Anyway here’s the fan,” you shoved the bag into Mark’s hands, not caring that you had rudely interrupted whatever small talk was happening between the three of them. You just wanted them to leave, especially Lucas.

“Okay, okay, I get it, you two want to be alone,” Mark winked, giggling at his own joke, but you just rolled your eyes.

“Very funny, you know it’s not like that, now get lost,” you grumbled, turning your attention away from them and towards your books. Mark only shrugged, turning to walk away. Jaehyun dropped his gaze, hoping no one saw the hurt in his eyes.

“Bye, noona,” Lucas lightly touched your arm as he walked past you. You felt a shiver go up your spine at the contact, but you resolutely composed yourself.

“I told you to call me Y/N,” you responded firmly.

He only turned back to look at you, smiling widely. “I just like calling you ‘noona’,” he said, before walking away to join Mark.

You must have had the dumbest look on your face because Jaehyun just laughed, almost bitterly.

“Wow,” was all he said, shaking his head, no trace of his usual good spirits. He suddenly started packing up his books.

“Where are you going?” you asked, surprised at his sudden movements, “We’re not done with this chapter!”

“I suddenly lost my appetite,” he responded, not looking at you at all, “you got this, just call me if you have any problems.”

You watched his retreating back, wondering what had happened to put him in such a mood.

---

The rest of the semester was tough, your professors were a lot harder on you and all of your courses were kicking your ass. Worst of all, your best friend and trusty study partner had ghosted you.

[How about tonight? Can you come by]

[Can’t, sorry]

[Come on I’m dying! I need help with this so bad!]

[You got this]

You pulled your hair in frustration, wanting to scream at Jaehyun’s sudden reticence. You’d confronted him about it in the one class you shared but he just shrugged, making some lame excuse about how the coursework was so much harder than he thought it was so he needed to concentrate. You had scoffed, knowing full well that was not the case for the ace student that he was. For as long as you’d known him he had always been the one who’d gotten the highest grades in every class he was in. You had persisted, trying to get it out of him but the professor had started speaking, and as soon as class had finished he’d left to talk to some other friends.

Maybe you two were drifting apart, and you hadn’t noticed, too busy with school and trying to avoid your feelings for Lucas. You shook your head at the thought of Lucas, but as if your thoughts could conjure him he suddenly appeared in front of you.

“Hi noona,” he whispered, cognizant of the bent over backs of the other students studying at the library around you. You gaped at him as he pulled out the chair across from you at the table you were at. “Is it okay if I sit here?” he asked innocently.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, fully aware that you should say no, but your head betrayed you and nodded at him. He smiled widely and your heart thumped in your chest.

“Thanks,” he said, taking a seat and spreading out his books, “the other tables were full, you really saved my life.”

You just nodded, trying to look anywhere but at his face, but he just kept smiling so charmingly you couldn’t help it. You’d sneak a look up at him now and then, and every time he would catch you and smile. The two of you didn’t talk very much, mostly because you didn’t want to disturb the quiet but also because you didn’t want whatever was happening to go any further. Lucas, however, had different expectations.

“Hey, if you’re not busy after this, maybe we can go for a coffee? Catch up? I feel like I haven’t really spent any time with you.” The smile he leveled at you this time was so dazzling you were momentarily blinded.

“Um,” you started, your brain short-circuiting, “I… uh… don’t think-”

“Aww, come on, noona! I haven’t seen you in so long! Please, just one coffee?” he made a face that resembled that one emoji you used so often that Jaehyun had it saved in his phone instead of your name.

You opened your mouth to say no, you had really meant to, your lips even forming the word, but he kept looking at you with that face and you knew you were done for.

“Sure,” you said in defeat, “just one, though.”

“Great!” he clapped his hands in glee, forgetting where he was, and when the people around him shot him dirty looks he slapped his hand over his mouth in a comically over-dramatic display. You couldn’t help but laugh, looking up just in time to see Jaehyun walking past your table. He stared between the two of you, not saying a word. You stood up to call him over but he turned away from you abruptly and walked away.

“Let’s go, noona,” Lucas called you, and you looked between him and your best friend, torn as to who to follow. You had to admit Jaehyun’s coldness towards you was hurting you, but you had reached out to him and he had shut you down. You packed up your stuff and followed Lucas to the cafe.

Later that night you got a text from Jaehyun:

[Remember our pact]

You wanted to throw your phone and scream at him for being so frustrating. You decided to ignore him, since that’s what he had been doing to you. You didn’t bother answering his text, and for the first time in your decade-long friendship you didn’t text him ‘good night’.

---

“Hey, we have room, wanna ride home with us?”

It was winter break, and everyone who was going home was standing on the curb waiting for their pickup. You spotted Jaehyun, and even though the two of you still hadn’t spoken, you couldn’t help but offer. He started at the sound of your voice, almost smiled, before he shook his head.

“Thanks, but my dad is on his way,” he kicked at the ground with the toe of his shoe when you didn’t say anything in response, then finally looked away.

Truth be told, you were hurt. You’d been hurt since the day you two stopped talking, the day you went for coffee with Lucas. You had tried to keep your attention on Lucas, which wouldn’t have been too hard because he talked so animatedly, but your mind kept going over Jaehyun’s reaction when he saw the two of you. You couldn’t make sense of it, and you couldn’t make sense of his sudden disinterest. You had been friends for most of your lives, and he had never acted that way before. You finally settled on the fact that he probably didn’t want to be your friend anymore, college changes people after all, and his plans for after graduation were so grandiose and involved and probably definitely didn’t include you. A sadness had washed over you then, the two of you had been inseparable since middle school, you hadn’t gone a day without seeing him or speaking to him. The prospect of him not being in your life hurt you more than you would ever admit.

Turning away from him you loaded your bags into the trunk of your mom’s car, while Mark climbed into the passenger’s seat, excitedly relaying the details of his day-to-day to your ever-patient mom. You got into the backseat and closed your eyes, wanting to forget your college experience for a while.

---

Four days into your break you couldn’t escape it.

“Honey, set three more places for dinner, the Jeongs are coming over.”

Your hand froze midway to placing the silverware on the table at your mom’s statement.

“Are you serious?” you asked in shock.

“What are you so surprised for? We always have them over during your breaks. Besides, I haven’t seen Jaehyun in months, I want to know how he’s doing in senior year.”

Your mom had unofficially adopted Jaehyun, when you were kids his parents had been busy with work, so he had spent a lot of time at your house. Your mom loved doting on him because he was so polite and well-mannered, almost an antithesis to the hellraiser that was your younger brother.

Dinner had been a calm affair, the parents speaking amongst themselves, while you picked at your food and Mark occasionally would start talking at breaks in the conversation. Jaehyun sat across from you, looking much more relaxed than he did at school. He was always polite around your parents, but you noticed he seemed lighter, freer, smiled and joked more. He even spared you a glance here and there, the corners of his mouth almost turning up into a smile.

“Oh mom, guess who’s going to our school now?” Mark suddenly burst out.

“Lucas is back, right? I spoke to his mom. That’s wonderful that you’re back together.” Your mom smiled fondly at your brother. At the mention of Lucas’ name you looked over at Jaehyun, who dropped his gaze, suddenly intensely preoccupied with his broccoli.

“Yeah! And I think he likes noona!” Mark looked at you while he said this, waggling his eyebrows. You smacked him hard in the arm.

“Not at all, that is not happening,” you protested, shooting daggers with your eyes at your brother. He only shrugged, rubbing his arm where you had hit him.

“Whatever, I know you guys go on coffee dates and he texts you all the time! I see that stupid look on his face when he’s texting,” he screwed up his face and mimicked Lucas texting on his phone and everyone laughed. 

Everyone, except Jaehyun. He looked at you, with something like hurt in his eyes, before he looked away quickly.

“That is not true, we went on one coffee date, one!” you emphasized the word by putting up your index finger, “and it is not me he is texting all the time, trust me,” you added firmly.

Your mom just smiled. “I’m not opposed to Lucas, he’s a sweet boy,” she stated, “the only other boy I’d be happy about you dating is Jaehyun.” She smiled sweetly at him while his parents smiled at you, both nodding in approval.

Normally when she said things like this you would just roll your eyes at her, reminding her that you and Jaehyun were just friends, but this time you felt your palms get sweaty and your face felt warm. You looked over at Jaehyun and he still hadn’t looked up from his plate, but his ears were as red as the tomato sauce on the pasta.

“Am I the only one here who would be happy with no one dating?” your dad finally spoke up. “Not that I don’t approve of any of you, I just think senior year is hard enough as it is.” He shrugged, taking a sip of his wine while your mom patted him soothingly on the shoulder.

“Yes, yes, we’re not suggesting anything, merely stating our preferences.” She looked over at Jaehyun’s mom, the two of them sharing a conspiratorial smile.

---

After dinner you and Jaehyun were tasked with doing the dishes, while the parents relaxed in the living room and Mark cleaned off the table.

“You, uh, missed a spot,” you held up the plate to Jaehyun, indicating the still soapy area with a sweep of your finger. He nodded and took it from you, passing it under the running water and handing it back. You dried it carefully, watching him as you did, the silence between you so heavy it felt like a weight on your chest.

“It’s nice being home, isn’t it?” you attempted conversation hesitantly.

He nodded, thankfully not ignoring you, and actually smiled to himself. “Yeah, really nice.”

You brightened at those three words, and at the fairly pleasant conversation you were having, the first in such a long time.

“Right? It feels so nice.” You agreed, unable to stop the wide smile forming on your face. He finally looked over at you and couldn’t help smiling himself.

“It feels good to be away from the pressures of-” he cleared his throat, “-uh, school.”

“Mm,” you nodded, feeling there was something in his tone you couldn’t place. Determined to ignore it and mend the rift in your friendship, you elbowed him lightly in the arm, “Hey, bet you can’t beat me in Mario Kart!”

He laughed, turning off the water and wiping his hands. “We’ll see.”

---

You spent the rest of the break almost inseparable again, your friendship back to what it had been. The happiness you felt was indescribable, sometimes you even surprised yourself at the giddiness you would feel when you could spend time with him. You just figured it was the hurt you’d felt all those months finally being soothed away. Jaehyun was an important person in your life so naturally it would make sense that you would be happy that he was back in it.

On the last night of your break the two of you were sitting on the floor in your bedroom, laughing over old photos. After flipping through a few more, he came across a photo of you with one arm around Lucas and the other around Mark. The smile instantly left his face, and he quickly shoved the photo back in the box.

When you saw his reaction you suddenly felt defensive. “You know it really was just one coffee, it’s not like I was dating him so I didn’t break our pact.”

“Technically still a date.” He responded without looking at you, just shuffling photos around in the box haphazardly.

“Ugh! Fine! It was a stupid date, are you happy?” you threw the photos you were holding across the floor in exasperation. You felt your face heating up, an irrational anger overtaking you. In all the years you’d known him you didn’t remember being this upset at him and it surprised you.

He stayed silent, picking up the photos you had thrown and arranging them back in the box. In your anger you probably weren’t seeing things clearly, but when you looked at his face you thought he might have looked sad.

“It didn’t continue though, I can tell you that.” You don’t know why you felt the urge to be so defensive, why you felt the burning need to convince him there was nothing going on between you and Lucas. But when he finally nodded and looked at you, a small smile adorning his face, your heart suddenly felt lighter.

“Alright, you get off on a technicality,” he smiled, almost shyly, when he saw your face brighten.

“Good! Now are you gonna start helping me study again? I think I failed my midterms because of you,” you grumbled good-naturedly.

“I doubt that,” he chuckled, “you’re a lot better at studying than you think you are.”

---

The second semester started where the first had left off, with a grueling workload that left your brain a mushy mess by the end of each day. You felt you handled it a lot better with your best friend by your side again, but when you got the results of your midterms you were shocked to see you had done better than you thought.

“I don’t want to say I told you so, but-” Jaehyun was looking over your shoulder as you saw your results, “I told you so.”

“Huh,” was all you could say. So all those late nights buried in your books, those solitary back-breaking hours in the library, they all paid off. You looked over at Jaehyun, who was smiling smugly at you. You realized that he had helped you, even though he hadn’t been around. Sometimes when your brain had enough you would think of him, how he would always encourage you when you were frustrated, how he would tell you silly stories and make you laugh when you needed a break.

“Thanks,” you said sincerely, starting to realize just what an effect your best friend had on your life. He shrugged, glancing away momentarily before he looked you in the eye.

“I didn’t really do anything, and actually I’m sorry for ghosting you when I did,” he shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at the ground, “that was really dumb of me.”

You were about to ask him what that was all about when you saw Mark and Lucas walking towards you.

“Hi noona!” they said in unison, accidentally it seemed as they both looked at each other in shock before dissolving into a fit of giggles. They nodded at Jaehyun who nodded back, ever polite, except he’d crossed his arms and puffed out his chest a little, looking almost intimidating.

“Hey guys,” you responded, irked at being interrupted since you were about to interrogate Jaehyun, “don’t you have class right now?”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re on our way,” Mark rolled his eyes at you and tugged at Lucas’ arm, “let’s go dude.”

Lucas hadn’t taken his eyes off of you the entire time you were all standing there, and hesitated as Mark pulled at him.

“Hey, noona, can we meet up later?” he asked, and you had to admire him for his boldness and dedication, despite the fact that you had pretty much avoided him since your last coffee date.

“Uh, I’m kinda busy today,” you responded quickly, but he didn’t back down.

“Aw, how about tomorrow then? Please?”

You didn’t have to look at him to know that Jaehyun was burning a hole in your face with his eyes, and you could feel the sweat forming on your palms at the situation you were in. You wanted to curse Lucas out for doing this in front of an audience. As it was, Mark was watching the entire scene unfold with unbridled glee.

“Come on, noona, give him a chance!” Mark piped up, deciding to add to your agony. Lucas made that puppy-dog face that had swayed you the last time.

“Sorry, guys, but she’ll be busy for the rest of the semester,” Jaehyun suddenly spoke up, his tone broached no debate, “I’ll be making sure she’s studying.”

It was the last straw, you’d had enough with the three of them. “Ugh!” you exclaimed, balling your hands into fists, “I’ve had it!”

The three of them recoiled in shock at your outburst, a trio of wide eyes and open mouths that was almost comical if you weren’t so angry.

“You!” you pointed at Lucas, “I told you I’m busy so you need to accept my answer! And you!” you pointed in turn at your brother, “Mind your goddamn business!” He just shrugged and made a face, mimicking you yelling at him.

“And you!” you finally turned to Jaehyun, who was watching you with a mixture of admiration and fear, “I can speak for myself so stay out of it!”

You didn’t bother to stick around to see any of their reactions, just turning on your heel and walking away.

---

You’d gotten texts for the rest of the day from both Lucas and Jaehyun apologizing but you weren’t in the mood to discuss the situation with either of them. Radio silence from your brother though, as expected. You were looking forward to spending some time alone anyway, so you trudged back to your dorm after a long day of classes. Walking towards your room you saw Lucas standing outside your door.

“Noona, don’t get mad,” he raised his hands up in supplication as you approached, “I just wanted to apologize and you weren’t responding to my texts.”

You sighed, too exhausted to be mad anymore. “It’s okay, Lucas. Thanks for coming by.” You walked by him to unlock your door, wanting to just collapse on your bed, but he stopped you, putting his six foot tall frame between you and your door. “Lucas, please, I’m tired.”

He bent his head towards you, eyes searching your face, eyebrows furrowed. “Noona,” he started, his voice soft, “do you like me?”

You were taken aback by the sudden question, and by his face now so close to yours.

“I mean, I hope you don’t still think of me as a kid,” he continued, eyes roaming towards your lips, “because I’m a man now.”

The line should have made you laugh, at any other time you would have, but something was drawing you towards him, and before you could stop yourself your lips met his.

It was only a brief touch, because you realized in that moment that you felt nothing, so you broke away quickly. The sound of the stairwell door opening broke the silence between you, and you turned to see Jaehyun standing in the open doorway. You’ll never forget the look on his face.

Sadness. Hurt.

“Jaehyun!” you called out, but he had already turned, his back to you as he disappeared down the stairs. Without a thought you ran after him, your heart beating out of your chest.

“Jaehyun! Please stop!” you yelled frantically as you raced down the stairs, but he was too far ahead of you and out the door before you could stop him. When you finally got down you opened the door to a downpour, and realizing you had no umbrella you stopped short. You could see Jaehyun walking away through the sheeting rain, and once again you called out to him.

“Jaehyun!” you shouted, your voice strained, “Please come back inside!”

He stopped at the sound of your voice and turned around, but made no move to come back. You couldn’t see his face from this distance but the dejected set of his shoulders told you all you needed to know. You stepped forward into the rain, determined to bring him back inside.

“Y/N, stop! You’ll get wet!” he ran towards you, arms outstretched, but you wouldn’t be deterred. When you reached him your emotions finally overcame you and you shoved him hard in the chest. It barely moved him, but he still looked at you in shock.

“Tell me why!” you yelled, unable to hold yourself back, “Why does it bother you so much? If he likes me or I like him? Huh?” you shoved him again, your anger and frustration taking over your rational mind, “It’s not just because of our stupid pact, so tell me what’s going on!”

He hadn’t said a thing, hadn’t even looked at you, had barely reacted when you pushed him. He just kept his head down, the rain running in rivulets down his hair.

“Jaehyun,” you tried again, pleading this time, your anger dissipating at the sight of him looking so defeated, drenched in rain, “Please, talk to me.”

He finally looked up, but not at you. Staring at something far in the distance he finally spoke, in a voice so low you had to strain to hear him over the patter of the rain, and a tone so despondent it made your heart ache.

“I like you, Y/N,” he sighed, “actually, screw it, I’m in love with you. I’ll admit it.” He dropped his head again, unwilling to look at you or see your reaction.

You, however, were glad he wasn’t looking at you, because your jaw dropped open in shock. But your brain took a little longer to catch up with your heart, because while you were putting the pieces together in your head, you felt a lightness in your chest, like a heavy weight had been lifted.

“Jaehyun?” you whispered, the puzzle pieces finally coming together. His actions finally made sense, but what had been even more enlightening was that your own feelings were starting to make sense as well.

“Come on, let’s go inside, you’ll get sick,” he put his hands over your head in a feeble attempt to protect you from the rain, and ushered you back inside the dorm. You walked back up the stairs in silence, and when you opened the door to your floor you were relieved to see Lucas was gone.

“Come inside,” you grabbed his hand since he had turned to leave, “you should dry off.”

He nodded, still not meeting your eyes, and followed you into your room. You grabbed a towel and handed it to him, grabbing one for yourself and squeezing the rain out of your hair.

“Thanks,” he said, rubbing the towel one last time over his head before handing it back to you, “I should go.”

You were about to answer him, but you were suddenly overcome by a violent shiver, your entire body shuddering from the damp cold of your rain-soaked clothes.

“Y/N!” he stepped towards you, eyes wide with alarm, “I told you not to come out in the rain!” he reprimanded you, taking the towel from you and rubbing it vigorously over your arms.

“I-I’m f-fine,” you tried to talk but your teeth were chattering too much so you just closed your mouth.

“You need to take off your wet clothes,” he grabbed a fluffy blanket from your bed, wrapped it around your shoulders and turned his head away, “I won’t look, I promise.”

At any other time you would be embarrassed, or throw him out of the room, but you knew he was right, and somehow you felt good about him being there for you. You stripped out of your clothes down to your bra and panties, as he held the blanket over you, finally feeling warmer as you wrapped the blanket around yourself.

“Better?” he asked, still not looking your way.

“Yes, thank you,” you said quietly, tugging at his arm to indicate he could turn around again. When he did, you noticed he was shivering.

“Oh Jaehyun! You need to get out of your wet clothes too!” you immediately ran to your closet and pulled out another warm blanket and draped it over him. You turned away to give him some privacy but he was struggling so much you ended up helping him, peeling away his water-logged hoodie and jeans. When he was down to his boxers you finally turned away, your cheeks flushed and heart pounding from the image of his bare chest and abs. You’d known him your entire life and had no idea he was hiding that.

Not the time to be thinking about that, you scolded yourself internally.

“Better?” you asked, not turning around because you felt your face was still hot and you didn’t want him to see.

“Uh, y-yeah,” he tried to lie but the stuttering betrayed him, and when you turned around you saw that he was still shivering, tugging the blanket tightly around himself, smiling weakly at you in a lame attempt to convince you that he was fine.

“Oh my god,” you immediately went into first-aid mode, recalling what you needed to do, “come here.” You opened your blanket and walked towards him.

“W-what are you d-doing?” his eyes grew wide and he actually pulled the blanket tighter around himself, like you were some kind of pervert coming to take his innocence.

“Relax, you need body heat,” you pulled at his blanket and he finally relented, opening it up to you and you stepped into his embrace.

It wasn’t supposed to feel good, you were only supplying him with much needed body heat, if anything it should have been embarrassing because you were both in your underwear, but you relaxed in his arms and it felt good. Really good.

You stood there in silence for a while, just the sound of his heart beating against your ear as you rested against his chest. You noticed he wasn’t shivering as much, but his skin was still really cold.

“Jaehyun, I think we need to get under the covers, you’re not warming up fast enough,” you didn’t look at him when you said it, you knew it would be awkward but it had to be done. He didn’t say anything for so long that you thought he hadn’t heard you, but he finally nodded and moved towards the bed. He got under the covers and you followed, wrapping your arms and legs around him and piling all the blankets on top of the both of you. It was hot and stuffy but you endured it, too worried about your best friend to care about anything else. Finally his teeth stopped chattering, his skin feeling less cold and clammy against yours.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said softly, staring up at the ceiling.

“I know, next time don’t go out in the rain like I told you!” you said sternly.

“No, not about that,” he sighed, “well, yeah that too. I just- I should have said something when I knew how I felt about you, save us from all this trouble, and- you know, me acting like a jerk.”

“Why didn’t you tell me then?” you turned your face to look at him, but he still wouldn’t meet your eyes, continuing to stare at the ceiling.

“I was scared, I guess. Scared you didn’t feel the same way, that you’d hate me, and then our friendship would be ruined and I didn’t want to lose you that way,” he blew out a long breath, “But I guess I ruined it anyway.”

“Nothing’s ruined, Jaehyun,” you said in a quiet voice, so low maybe he didn’t hear you. Except he had. He finally turned his head to look at you, but this time it was you who couldn’t meet his eyes.

“I wondered why I was so upset and angry, and hurt, when you stopped talking to me, I mean, I’ve lost friends before and never felt like that. And then over winter break when we started talking again, I felt so happy? You know? And so whole. Like I’d gotten back a part of me that I’d lost.” 

You stopped talking, relieved to have worked through your feelings and gotten it out in the open, but you suddenly became aware of how cringey everything you had said sounded. “Ugh, sorry, that was a lot.”

“Y/N, look at me,” his voice was still soft, but why had you never noticed how low his voice was? When you didn’t move, he gently tipped your chin so you were facing him. He looked at you like you’d hung the stars in the sky.

“Does this mean you like m-” he stopped mid-sentence, because you were drawn towards him, your face getting closer and closer to his. He stared wide-eyed for a moment, before he closed the distance and kissed you.

The stars and fireworks and weakened knees, and that heart-racing feeling you had expected when you kissed Lucas (and didn’t happen) actually happened this time. And then some. When his lips met yours you felt an electricity that spread throughout your entire body, all the way down to your toes. You felt a tenderness in the way his lips moved, an almost reverent form of adulation that made you crave more. Suddenly you were very aware of your near nakedness, as his now warm hand snaked around your bare back and pulled you closer to him. Everywhere your bare skin touched his felt like it was on fire, and it wasn’t from all of the blankets still stacked on top of you. When he pulled away you were panting, chest heaving, heat burning in your core.

“Y/N, I didn’t mean for this to happen,” his eyes searched yours, seemingly ready to give in if you decided to kick him out right then and there.

“You mean this wasn’t your plan? To go out and get drenched in the rain so we’d have to strip down to our underwear and cuddle for warmth?” you asked cheekily.

“Hmm, that did work out perfectly, didn’t it?” he laughed, and the deep rumble of it reverberated in your chest all the way down to your core.

“Jaehyun,” your breathing quickened, your body reacting to him almost involuntarily, “come here,” you pulled him so that he was on top of you, and he braced his arms on either side of you so that he didn’t rest his entire weight on you. You spread your legs so that he could nestle in between them, and when you felt him, already half-hard, against you, you bit your lip. He watched you, eyes dark, but still didn’t make a move.

“Y/N, are you sure?” he brushed strands of hair away from your face, eyebrows furrowed as he looked at you.

“I like you, Jaehyun. More than a friend. And right now I just want you.” To prove your point you wrapped your legs around him and squeezed, and it was his turn to inhale sharply as he felt you rub up against him. He dropped his head to your shoulder, kissing along your collarbone to your neck, and when you threaded your fingers through his hair, he sucked harshly on your skin. You moaned and he bucked his hips, your hands roamed his body until you reached the waistband of his boxers, which you tugged at until they were off. You reached around, wanting to feel his cock in your hand, your fingers wrapping around the hot, velvety skin.

“Y/N,” he groaned, pulling away from your neck to rest his forehead on your shoulder. You pumped his cock in your hand a few times, rubbing the pad of your thumb over the tip, spreading the precum around the head. He was breathing heavily as you worked your hand on him, before he reached down and yanked your panties off in one go. You squeaked a little at the sudden movement, but before you knew what was happening he was taking your hand off his cock, positioning the tip of it at your entrance.

“Jaehyun,” your voice cut off into a strangled cry as he entered you, tears pricking your eyes at the stretch and the intense pleasure you were feeling from it.

“Y/N,” he groaned again, pausing when he was all the way inside you, attacking your neck and jawline with kisses. He pulled back to look at you, eyes full of a mixture of adoration and lust. You touched his cheek, heart full at the sight of the boy you’d loved your entire life, pulling him down for a passionate kiss.

He returned your fervor with his own, with every movement of his lips you could feel his want, his need for you, his devotion. When you moaned into his mouth he bucked his hips, and you broke from his lips to gasp loudly as he began to thrust inside you.

“Jaehyun,” you moaned his name, biting your lip, slightly self-conscious at the needy whines that were escaping your mouth. But they seemed to encourage him, and with every sound of pleasure you made his intensity ramped up, until you could feel your orgasm building.

“Mm, I’m gonna c-” you couldn’t even finish your sentence, could barely warn him because your orgasm overtook you, after a particularly deep thrust that had pressed you hard into the mattress. He groaned loudly as you clenched around him, still thrusting, until he suddenly pulled you flush against him, holding you tightly as he came inside you.

You were both sweating, breathing heavily, but you knew in that moment that everything was as it should be. You turned your face towards his, currently buried in your shoulder, and kissed his cheek and along his jawline until he was smiling, causing his dimples to emerge. You kissed those too.

“You okay?” he asked, voice soft, pushing strands of damp hair away from your face.

“Very much okay,” you nodded, your heart and mind at peace.

---

Epilogue

“Mm, Jae, we should get outside and join everyone...”

“Not yet, you smell too good, taste too good too.”

You stifled a moan as he sucked lightly on your neck, “No marks!” you smacked him on the chest, “I don’t want hickies in my grad photos!”

He laughed, nuzzling his nose in your neck instead, his hands on your hips under your gown. You’d been on your way to the graduation ceremony when you passed an empty classroom and he’d pulled you in for a quick makeout session. Except it hadn’t been quick, and now you were running late.

“Alright,” he sighed dramatically, “let’s go, wouldn’t want you to miss this important ceremony.” If it had been up to Jaehyun you would’ve both skipped the ceremony and gone to the beach instead, or just stayed in bed watching netflix. He didn’t care for ceremonies, he’d done his work and graduated, but he knew how important it was for you. You’d worked hard and wanted to celebrate it, with all of your friends and family by your side, especially Jaehyun. 

He adjusted the cap on your head, smiling fondly at you as you fiddled with your gown nervously. “You look great,” he reassured you, “perfect, I’d say.”

“Thanks,” you smiled at him, forgetting about your lip gloss and reaching up on your tiptoes for a kiss. “Oops!” you tried to wipe as much of it off with the pad of your thumb but he just laughed.

“Can’t be helped, let’s go,” he grabbed you by the hand and led you into the quad where the ceremony would be held. As you made your way to your seats you saw your brother and Lucas approaching.

“Hey guys, congrats, this is so cool!” as usual Mark was excited, looking around at everything with awe. Lucas stood beside him, smiling widely at the two of you.

“Hi noo- Y/N,” he corrected himself, then nodded at Jaehyun, “hyung,”

“Hi Lucas,” you smiled back at him.

“Congratulations on graduating,” he continued, looking between you and Jaehyun, “you guys worked hard.”

“Thanks Lucas,” you were genuinely thankful to him, he’d been really chill when you ended up telling him about you and Jaehyun, even winking at you and saying he’d had a suspicion about you and Jaehyun liking each other all along. You had just rolled your eyes at your own stupidity, how did everyone else see it except you?

“Yeah, thanks man,” Jaehyun seemed grateful too, shaking his hand and pulling him in for a bro hug. When they pulled away from each other you gave Lucas a hug as well, before you all took your seats for the ceremony.

---

Later, long after the ceremony ended, you and Jaehyun sat in the empty bleachers as the sun began to set. He kept his arms around you as the early evening breeze began to pick up.

“So this is it,” you mused, looking around at the campus you’d spent four years of your life at. “The end.”

“Hm,” Jaehyun hummed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“I guess we broke our pact,” you couldn’t help but smile at the irony.

“I guess so,” he laughed, “who’s stupid idea was that pact anyway?”

“Hey!” you smacked him on the knee, “it was a good idea at the time!”

He just laughed again, pulling you closer to him so that your back was flush against his chest. You settled like that for a moment, just content in his arms as he played with strands of your hair. “It all worked out in the end, though, didn’t it?”

You smiled, turning in his arms to face him. “It sure did.”

[amorevolous-chionophile]

Mommy

❆ Fluff ❆ 5,710 words ❆ dad!Hongjoong x babysitter!reader ❆

@soft-black-teabag​ is the precious mastermind behind this idea 💜

"Yes I understand... Yes... Yes I will be there."  Hongjoong sighed as he hung up the call and mentally cursed. His boss called, saying that he has to jump in to fill a shift urgently to help, as his co-worker called in sick last minute, since he lacks work hours. He glanced to the living room to check up on the reason of his lacking work hours, his little princess and he couldn't help but smile as he saw her happily playing with her designer's kit for children which he somehow managed to afford for her birthday since she proclaimed that she wants to be just like her daddy. Since he was taking care of her alone, he had to miss shifts from time to time as there were instances where none of his friends could fill in for him. He prayed that this wasn't one of those times because his boss warned him that if he doesn't show up to work in two hours he will get fired and he couldn't lose that job. Hongjoong took on a great number of jobs through the years to have his little minion live a nice and happy life. He keeps each of his jobs for as long as the boss is tolerant enough of him being late or missing whole shifts. He hates that he gives them a hard time, but raising a child as a single parent isn't an easy job and he is trying his best, he really is. Hiring a babysitter was an option sure, but Hongjoong couldn't afford one and even if he could, there was no way that he would ever leave his precious child to a complete stranger. He sighed once more before tapping in the message to the group chat, there are seven of them, surely one of them is free, right?

Wooyoung was in the middle of a game when a notification rang, signaling that a message had arrived on his phone. That wouldn't have been a problem if he wasn't in class and the notification didn't echo through the classroom. The college professor gave him a threatening look from above the rim of his glasses to what Wooyoung smiled nervously and pretended to move his phone back to his pocket before muting it and proceeding to read the message as soon as the professor looked away like nothing happened seconds ago. You eyed him judgingly from the seat next to him.  "Wooyoung, you are going to get in trouble." Not that most professors at college care if you are on your phone, laptop, are you listening or not... But this one was a bit of a nitpicking pain that always says that you should respect the time which he is giving to you in order to gift you knowledge by at least listening. He always made it sound like he doesn't get any compensation for what he does, not like he gets paid. Wooyoung looked at you with the most offended face he could make.  "Don't talk in class you'll get us in trouble."  He put a finger to his lips and couldn't help but smile to what you rolled your eyes and smiled as well returning your attention to the professor as Wooyoung returned his gaze to his phone. He entered the group chat to find that everyone already responded. He scrolled to the first message to see what all that was about, just to find Hongjoong's panicked message about needing someone as fast as possible to look over his child. Wooyoung loved that child like he was her uncle, and not just him, all of the boys warmed up to that little ray of sunshine. As he scrolled he noticed that none of the other boys were available, for valid reasons and he mentally sighed as he had to tell Hongjoong that he wasn't either.  Wooyoung: "I have a makeup exam. I must retake it, it's half of my mark. I'm really sorry."  This time he audibly sighed. He had major respect for Hongjoong, the guy was torn on million sides, he sacrificed his college and his free time for the sake of his child. That's why he felt bad for not being able to do anything in this situation.  Seonghwa: "Hongjoong, could you please reconsider all that about the babysitter?"  Yunho: "Yes, please, if money is the problem we can help you with that."  Hongjoong: "I know, but even if I agree, how can I get any babysitter to come in less than an hour? No worries guys, I'll just find another job."  Wooyoung was too preoccupied with his phone and thoughts of how to help to notice the professor eyeing him suspiciously. You however noticed and nudged him to snap out of it or he won't even have the chance to take that makeup exam. He rapidly turned his head to you, his eyes widening and your face crunching from confusion. It was seconds before he returned his attention to his phone.  Wooyoung: "I am a genius. I have solved all of your problems 😇"  Yeosang: "This is gonna be good."  Hongjoong: "?"  Wooyoung: "Y/N!"  Hongjoong: "Who?"  San: "Oooh, nice!👍🏻👍🏻"  Yeosang: "I am disappointed I am not disappointed with that answer. That is your first good idea since...ever."  Jongho: "How come that idea never crossed our minds before."  Mingi: "That would be so adorable to see. Just think of that cuteness duo!😸🥰"  Hongjoong: "Guys, would you please concentrate and tell me who that is."  You had to nudge Wooyoung again, stronger this time because he was visibly testing the professor's patience.  "Wooyoung, leave that phone, the professor is giving you a death stare I think even the room temperature decreased."  You whispered almost inaudibly to what he turned off his screen, nudged the phone to the side of his desk and shifted his gaze up smiling innocently to the professor. You couldn't help but pinch the bridge of your nose letting out a breathy laugh at his carefree attitude.

Hongjoong: "Wooyoung, who's y/n?"  Seonghwa: "Seems like he's not here anymore."  Jongho: "What... who leaves in a moment like that."  San: "I think he and y/n have class with that ice drama queen professor."  Yeosang: "He probably used all of his energy to come up with that idea, his system must have shut down."  San: "Yeosang... Who hurt you young child?"  Yeosang: "Whoever ate my fried chicken the last time we hung out."  Mingi: "But why are you taking it out on Wooyoung when Yunho ate your chicken 😂"  Yunho: "He. Didn't. Know. That."  Mingi: "Oops, I didn't know that."  Yeosang: "Well, it's only important that now I know that."  Yunho: "🙃"  Hongjoong: " G U Y S. I'm kinda running out of time here."  Seonghwa: "You remember how we mentioned Wooyoung's neighbor that hung out with us probably every single time when you weren't there?"  Hongjoong: "Oh yeah, I forgot her name, so y/n... I'm not so sure, how well do you guys know her?"  Mingi: "Wooyoung knows her best since she was his neighbor and classmate from the very start of college."  Jongho: "But since he's not here, your second best options are San, Yeosang and me. Well Yeosang and me."  San: "Hey 🥺"  Yeosang: "Yes, since we attend the same college we meet quite frequently so I assure you that she is a good choice."  San: "Are you all ignoring me now 🥺"  Jongho: " I strongly agree with Yeosang, not once did she leave a bad impression."  San: "..."  Hongjoong: "Well not like I have a choice at this point anyway."  Seonghwa: "Since I sense that you are still unsure, I remember this one time when she got a call from her sister and had to leave to look after her nephews."  Yunho: "So that means she knows with children. I mean you got a winning combo here." Hongjoong: "But I don't know, what if the two of them don't get along, what if something happens"  Jongho: "I just wanna remind you that this was Wooyoung's idea to which even Yeosang agreed"  Mingi: "I think that this is the first time something like this happened 😅"  Seonghwa: "Come on Hongjoong, you know we love your child almost as much as you do. We would never propose something that would be potentially dangerous for her."  Hongjoong: "Alright... Fine"

Finally, for what seemed ten times longer than the original ten minutes it should have lasted, the bell rang, signaling the end of the class. You stretched your arms, still sitting down, while Wooyoung rapidly swiped trough his phone to catch up on the conversation that he missed, hoping to run into Hongjoong's agreement. You eyed him suspiciously when he jolted up with an excited "yes". You mirrored his actions and got up as well, gathering your stuff.  "What happened, the makeup exam got postponed?"  He let out a sad whining sound before gathering his stuff as well.  "As if, not even in my dreams."  He swung his backpack on his back and typed something in his phone excitedly.  "Then what is..."  Before you could finish, he grabbed your wrist and started speed walking towards the door and into the hallway, opposite of the direction of where his exam is supposed to be.  "Wait Wooyoung, what is going on?"  But you were not graced by any kind of answer in return. When you exited the building, you were even more puzzled to see Yeosang, San and Jongho there. Before you could ask again, Wooyoung went into medical commercial narrator mode.  "So you remember how we mentioned our friend that has a rainbow sunshine pink sparkly precious child after who he looks after alone and that sometimes we fill in because he has to work and all. Well today we are all busy and if he doesn't go to work he will get fired and he really needs that job and he can't leave the child alone and so we thought that maybe, probably, eventually you could look after her because we don't have much time since he needs to go to work soon and pretty much we don't have any other option...please?"  You blinked trying to process everything you just heard as Wooyoung grabbed your hand and shook it giving you the puppy dog eyes look. You closed your eyes trying to form a coherent question in return to all that.  "Wha..."  But San interrupted you, joining Wooyoung in the hand shaking puppy dog eyes squad. "Pleeease, the child is a sweetheart I swear. I promise you two will get along perfectly, and the cuteness oh God, you two will be the cutest duo ever."  You shook your head, really trying to keep up with the both of them, looking around to find a spot to focus on in order to actually have a chance to think about the proposal, when you noticed Yeosang and Jongho standing on a greater distance from you than when they originally were, talking among themselves, pretending not to know you three. You couldn't blame them. "Wait you two, wait a second. I mean I am free now and I would love to help, but I am not sure about all this? To him I am a stranger and from what I have picked up from your stories he wouldn't leave his child with just anyone so I don't think he will agree to this. Also a child... I'm not sure, it's not the same as looking after my nephews."  Wooyoung let go of your hand in order to swipe through his phone for a brief second before showing you a message of Hongjoong's agreement, more like shoving it in your face.  "He already agreed, it's only left for you to agree so please."  You almost winced from the frequency Wooyoung's voice managed to hit. You were kinda at a dead end in that moment. You had no reasons to refuse, not like you even wanted to refuse an opportunity to help someone in a tight situation so the answer was pretty obvious.  "Okay, just tell me the address and..."  Your proclamation was interrupted with Wooyoung and San squealing and, for the sake of their souls, let's say that those were manly squeals. They ran up to Yeosang and Jongho and excitedly announced that you have agreed before Wooyoung proceeded to run back to the college entrance in his style, shouting.  "I'm late for the makeup exam, I will text you the address before I..."  Was all you managed to hear before his voice became inaudible.  "Wooyoung, I swear to God."  You whispered in your chin before joining the remaining trio in order to say goodbye.

Hongjoong was running around his apartment, grabbing his necessities before a tiny voice called out to him.  "Daddy?"  The young girl was standing underneath the notably larger doorframe, questioningly tilting her head to the side.  "You said you would stay home today."  Her face welcomed a small pout. Hongjoong quickly squatted to her eye level, one hand on her shoulder, while the other caressed the crown of her head.  "I know princess, but they called daddy to come today. I promise I will make it up to you."  He smiled, hoping to reassure her.  "I just miss you."  She proclaimed sadly before wrapping her small arms around his neck. Saying that his heart shattered into million pieces would be an understatement. He sighed heavily and wrapped his hands around her, lifting her up.  "I'm sorry it has to be this way."  He said that more to himself before the melody of the doorbell filled the house. The girl looked in her dad's eyes with newfound interest.  "Which uncle is coming today?"  Hongjoong smiled nervously, not sure how to deliver the news and more importantly not knowing what the reaction will be.  "About that..."  He hesitated as he went towards the door with her still in his arms.  "It's uncle Wooyoung's friend."  He confessed, opening the door, not sure himself what to expect. What greeted him there was a warm, smiling figure, immediately putting him at ease.  "Hello, I'm Wooyoung's classmate, y/n. It's nice to meet you Hongjoong."  You gave a little wave before grinning to the little girl.  "And this must be the princess I have heard so much about."  The girl smiled in return, resting her head on her dad's shoulder, still a bit shy.  "Hello."  Hongjoong motioned you to enter before he closed the door behind you, a faint scent of his shampoo hitting you.  "I should hurry now, thank you for coming on such short notice."  You were in the process of taking off your shoes while you replied.  "Don't worry, it's a pleasure to help."  You rose back up stretching out your arms for Hongjoong to give the girl to you.  "Oh there's no reason for that, she may be too heavy for you, besides she is daddy's big girl, she can walk."  Hongjoong went to put her down, but to his surprise he ran into the girl's resentment, as she stretched her arms out to you in return. You smiled warmly and took the child in your arms, patting her back.  "It's not a problem really."  You reassured Hongjoong as you turned to the girl.  "This way we can assist daddy together while he is getting ready for work, right?"  The girl chimed happily in response. Hongjoong didn't notice or he didn't want to notice how his brain blocked all of his actions for a brief second wanting to absorb that moment and so he continued with tying his shoelaces a moment after as if nothing happened. Hongjoong was about to exit when you noticed a phone on the cupboard next to you, so you quickly stop him. "Hongjoong, I think you forgot your phone."  He checked in all his pockets to check before he accepted the phone from you grasp and thanked you with a warm smile.  "Daddy will be back before you know it princess, be nice to y/n."  He bent down to plant a kiss on the girl's cheek, before her little hands grabbed his face and turned his head in order to do the same. The scene had you internally melting from all the cuteness. Hongjoong went out the door, and you trailed him standing on the doorframe.  "Wave to daddy."  You told the girl who shook her hand smiling from ear to ear, you copying her. There was it again, that moment that Hongjoong felt shoot through his heart and brain.

You caressed the girl's cheek before putting a blanket atop of her, snuggling her to sleep. You put the fairytale book you were reading her a bedtime story from on the shelf. You decided to leave the lamp on, just a bit more dimmed as you were not sure whether or not she was afraid of the dark. She fell asleep pretty quickly, and it was no wonder, for the whole day you were doing all kind of things together, playing pretend, fashion designer, telling stories, watching cartoons, eating. You tried to engage her in everything you could, you really gave it your all, and it was easy because she was indeed a pure angel child. You sat in the living room, lowering the volume of the tv in order to hear if she wakes up. You had time to peacefully look around the apartment which was an interesting fusion of an art and music studio, laced with the essence of a family home. You also noticed that the home was sparkly clean. You didn't know that that was Seonghwa's doing however. He was the last to babysit, just the day before you. He and the girl were playing fashion designer when Seonghwa made the grave mistake of commenting how she put too much glitter on a particular piece of clothing. Second after that he had a child proclaiming that he shouldn't question her fashion sense and glitter pretty much... everywhere. So after putting her to sleep he engaged himself in cleaning all the glitter, and cleaning glitter is not an easy job, not to mention that he himself resembled a disco ball with all the glitter he had in his hair. He somehow ended cleaning even the rest and who knows when he would have stopped if Hongjoong haven't arrived home. You basically absent mindedly gazed into the cartoon on the tv which was muted when your phone buzzed and brought you back to your senses. It was a message from an unknown number, but from the content of the message you figured it was Hongjoong.  Hongjoong: I will be back about 10 minutes.  You saved his contact before replying.  You: Thanks for giving me a notice, I will wait for you. I put her to sleep, so you have nothing to worry about.  And just like that you spent those 10 minutes watching a cartoon on mute before you heard a clatter of keys trying to unlock the door, but being unable to due the keys from the inside of the door.  "I'm coming."  You whisper-yelled, afraid not to wake the girl as you hurried to the door. You turned the keys and opened the door, smiling.  "Welcome home."  It was probably due to not having a chance to hear that often, but his heart slightly fluttered at your welcome and he couldn't help but smile a little.  "As I already mentioned, she is sound asleep..."  You trailed off as you went to pick up your belongings from the living room, not wanting to yell and as soon as you returned you started putting on your shoes.  "She is a wonderful child, you raised her very well."  You gave him a wide smile as you started putting on your coat.  "We made dinner together and left you some in the refrigerator so you can heat it up if you want. You must be tired so I will be going now."  As you took ahold of the knob, he took ahold of your forearm. You turned around, giving him a puzzled look as to which he just took out his wallet.  "No Hongjoong please, I did not do this for money. Besides, that child already repaid me with her smile, I really had a nice time today."  You shook your hands before your face in defense.  "There's no way I can let you leave without anything, you lost your whole day."  He took out his money and was handing it to you, but you were not an easy nut to crack.  "Can we make a deal then? If I happen to look after her again, I will accept, okay?"  He sighed in defeat, dropping the argument as it was leading nowhere. But that idea of you babysitting again, deep down he liked it.  "Alright, alright."  You exited the door waving at him.  "Why don't you at least let me call you a cab? It's pretty dark outside for you to be walking alone."  Shaking your head you turned to him.  "Don't worry about me, go back to that precious little child."  He nodded, closing the door.  "Hongjoong..."  He halted and looked at you expectantly.  "See you."  And like that, you parted.

Little did you know that she would want you to come look after her again and again and again. Hongjoong of course, refused her at first, not wanting to trouble you, but soon he just gave up. And you didn't mind really, that child grew onto you like on anyone she meets. This time you were just going to visit her for no particular reason, you just had free time. You knocked on the door you grew used to and the man you started to develop faint feelings for opened.  "Oh hi, come on in."  He gave you his usual smile and you obliged. Just after barely taking one shoe off you heard your name being shouted from across the hall by a little human who was running to tackle hug you.  "How's my favourite princess doing?"  She smiled from ear to ear, as she always did.  "Good! Daddy and I were just talking about you!"  You rose a brow as you shot a glance at Hongjoong who was smiling nervously.  "Daddy asked me if I would want you..."  She was unable to finish her sentence because Hongjoong interupted, cutting her mid sentence. "You know, we were just planning on going grocery shopping, so you don't have to take off your shoes if you wanna come with us."  You returned your attention to the child, whispering into her ear.  "You'll tell me later."  You smooched her cheek before raising back up nodding at Hongjoong.  "Let's go."

"Hongjoong, you forgot to get the tomatoes... How do you expect that we make the bolognese sauce without tomatoes?"  You waved in front of his face with a wooden spoon threateningly.  "Sorry, I was hindered by a certain small being that strongly wanted a package of gummy bears."  You just chuckled at his troubled expression.  "We can just improvise something then, I guess. At least she got what she wanted."  You nodded in the direction where the previously mentioned small being was eating her gummy bears, her attention on the cartoon playing on the tv.  "I have a weakness for her, what was I supposed to do."  Hongjoong gave you a troubled smile as he was growing scared of that wooden spoon in your grip. You couldn't resist the urge to ruffle his hair.  "Go rest, you were working for the whole day yesterday. Your eye bags are so big, they could be used as bowls."  He shook his head.  "I can't leave everything to you..."  You squinted your eyes and raised the wooden spoon back in his sight.  "We will all rest when we eat, how does that sound?"  You rolled your eyes at him jokingly.  "You were always a tough negotiator, have it your way."  Smiling to your agreement he let out a breathy laugh, not really sure how to react to the given situation. You were gifting him precious moments he could only dream of before. Like having someone to welcome him, see him off, look after him and his baby, make a meal for him, and all that just made him wish that he could do the same for you.

"Hongjoong, I am actually amazed at your cooking skills." You confessed as you plopped yourself on the couch, the little minion automatically manifesting on your side hugging you. Hongjoong went to sit on the other side of the couch before he was stopped by his little girl. "Daddy, I want you to sit here."  She patted the free spot next to her, and Hongjoong just obliged, placing himself next to you two.  "Now I want you two to hug me."  She giggled as if she knew exactly what she was doing. As you put your arms around the little minion and connected them on the small of Hongjoong's back, he did the same. Your head rested on his shoulder, inhaling the same scent from the first day when you met him, his head rested on your shoulder looking longingly at the one person he wished for from the first day he met you, and in-between you two, a brightly smiling child who loved both of you was seated.

And so again, you went to them, they came to you. When Hongjoong was working, you were babysitting and when he was free the three of you just casually spent time together. This one time, when Hongjoong returned from work you were still in the process of putting the minion to sleep. Hongjoong inspected you closely as you ran after the child while taking off his coat and boots and he couldn't help but smile. You halted for a minute to welcome him, while the minion was long gone from sight. As you turned back to go after her you could hear her voice from the room.  "Mommy hurry, I want you to read me a story before I fall asleep."  You froze to the spot and looked to Hongjoong wide eyed as he did the exact same thing. Your face welcomed a shade of pink as you turned around and marched forward, not being able to face him.  "C-coming princess."

"Hey Hongjoong."  You peeked inside the living room, finally mustering up the courage to face him after what happened earlier, but to your luck, or misfortune, he was asleep. You would have let him be and went home as it was that he even gave you the key to his apartment, but you couldn't leave him in such a uncomfortable position. He must have fell asleep while waiting for you. You shook him lightly by the shoulder, afraid not to startle him. Your heart fluttered the same time his tired eyes fluttered open.  "I just didn't want to leave you in an uncomfortable position, I will be leaving now. Get some rest."  You blabbered and were ready to leave.  "Could you stay... a bit longer?"  Originally, it would not have been a problem, but this time around your nerves were getting the better of you. However, not having a proper reason to refuse, you sat on the couch next to Hongjoong, sighing.  "May I?"  He was asking you to lay on your legs. Again, it wasn't the first time, but never before did he ask nor did you feel nervous while his soft features were beneath your reach. However, on instinct your fingers started playing with his hair and he momentarily relaxed. Feeling restless you just had the urge to start a talk about something, anything.  "Hongjoong, you never told me what happened to your...uhm...her real m..."  You found it quite difficult to word the sentence, luckily Hongjoong caught on and saved you the struggle.  "We had my princess when we were nineteen..."

Hongjoong and his girlfriend at the time didn't even plan marriage, a baby? Even less. But she found out she was pregnant and after a lot of negotiations and talking, they decided to keep the baby and promised that they would handle every obstacle on their way. Neither of them ever dreamed that their first and biggest obstacle were their own parents. Both sides gave them the cold shoulder, but not all hope was lost. They believed that when the baby is born, their parents would change their mind. It was a brutal strike to both of them when, even with the birth of their baby girl, nothing changed. They weren't making much and they could barely take care of even themselves. That is when the girl wavered. She was scared for her future and she insisted that they give the baby for adoption. Hongjoong however, didn't want to hear about it. He didn't want to give his precious treasure to some random stranger. He also couldn't care less about his parents rejecting him. They always treated him as if he was a nuisance, so what was the difference now. His girlfriend, however, left and he never blamed her for that. She lied to her parents that she put her child up for adoption, she split up with Hongjoong and broke off every contact with him and the baby out of fear that her parents would kick her out again. Through all that time the only person Hongjoong kept contact with was his brother. Even against Hongjoong's will his brother keeps sending him money from time to time. Hongjoong on the other hand sends him back videos and pictures of the little minion doing whatnot. This is the exact reason why Hongjoong is making sure to make her real uncle a part of her life as much as possible. The number of times the uncle burst into tears after hearing a little voice through the phone calling him to come and meet her is a large one. There was nothing he could do about that as he lived on the other side of Korea. The only thing his brother didn't tell Hongjoong is that their parents greatly regret their choices and want to see their grandchild. But Hongjoong will find out himself when and if they decide to let go of their stupid idea of pride.

"...and that's how the two of us ended up like this."  It was not until your tear fell on his face that he noticed that you were crying.  "Hey, don't cry for that."  He raised his hand in order to wipe away the watery paths that your tears left on your face.  "She now finally has a mum as she said. I can't thank you enough for playing that role for her, no let me take that back, you are not playing that role. After all this time of looking after her you can call yourself her mum."  His comment only turned on the faucet that let more tears fall.  "Thank you for saying so Hongjoong."  He rose from your legs and turned to face you.  "I didn't plan to do it like this but here it goes."  He cupped your chin and leaned into you, his only support being his other hand. Your heart went on a rampage, throwing itself randomly against your rib cage causing irregularities in your breath. Hongjoong softly smiled when he noticed your reaction, feeling reassured to carry on with his confession.  "I started attaching myself to you from the first time you stood on that door. At first I wasn't sure if that was because..."  You cut him off by placing your lips onto his in a sweet kiss unsure if your heart would be able to last through his whole speech. You pulled away shyly forcing yourself to look him in the eye. Now it was official, until now you were practically just a couple without that official stamp. It felt nice, it felt like home.  "You will tell me later, I wasn't sure if I was able to survive through it all."  You grinned and he shook his head, smiling as well before he leaned in again.

"Okay is everyone ready?"  You asked eagerly after hearing Hongjoong approach the door.  "I don't understand why we have to wear this."  Yeosang retorted, not amused in the slightest before Yunho appeared from behind him and pulled him into the room to hide like he was pulling him in a back alley to kidnap him, what made the situation more amusing was Yeosang's uninterested face.  "Come on Yeosang we don't have much time for questions."  Yunho whispered in his ear as they both disappeared into the darkness of the room. You sighed in relief as everyone was finally on their position just as you heard the keys and the door knob. And then there on the door appeared Hongjoong.  "Welcome home, come on sweetie."  You welcomed Hongjoong and guided his, no, both of your child to him.  "Daddy, mommy bought me a minion onesie, look!"  She ran up to Hongjoong and extended her arms up to him.  "It's beautiful love! What does it say here... I'm gonna be a sister..."  Hongjoong's eyes widened as his heart skipped a few beats and he would have jumped to hug you right then and there if he wasn't startled by seven men who ran at him at the same time, wearing a "I'm going to be an uncle (again)" shirts, pink shirts. Hongjoong's eyes widened again before he passed the child to Seonghwa to come and finally hug you.  "So another girl huh?"  You smiled widely back to him, nodding and he returned an even wider smile.  "What week are you?"  He caressed your still unnoticeable bump.  "The doctor said 15th, the stomach is going to start to show from here on."  He hugged you careful not to squish you too much.  "I love you, thank you for giving me everything and making me a happy man."  He pressed his forehead to yours.  "I should be the one thanking you, Joong."  Your lips met again just like they did yesterday and just like they will tomorrow.  "I want to hug with mommy and daddy too!"  And just like that your little intimate moment became a group hug of all the people you considered family.

[luffles424]

Kairos

☼ Pairing: Seokjin x reader

☼ Genre: A/B/O dynamics, college au, omega!reader, Alpha!CEO!Seokjin, s2l, fluff, smut, minor angst (they’re idiots)

☼ Count: 25.6K

☼ Warnings: teasing, marking (+ a little blood), unprotected sex (stay safe kids!), knotting, creampie, multiple orgasms, impreg kink, minor dom/sub undertones, oral (f receiving), fingering, pillow humping, dirty talk, praise kink, heat sex, seokjin is a soft alpha

☼ Summary: kairos καιρός (greek, n.) - the perfect, delicate, crucial moment; the fleeting rightness of time and place that creates the opportune atmosphere for action, words, or movement

When your financial aid falls through for your last year of school, you fear you’ll have to drop out and postpone your degree. Until Taehyung gives you a suggestion to make a lot of money, quick. His idea can’t possibly end well, can it?

☼ a/n: So, guess who’s not dead? Sorry it took so long to get something new out, life’s been... busy. I’ve got other stuff currently in the works and I hopefully won’t take quite so long to put something else out again. Anyway let me know what you think! My ask box is always open ~ 💙💙💙💙

You stared at the letter from your school, reading it for the fifth time and hoping that maybe, just maybe, the words had rearranged, said something different. Anything else. Changed to say something other than there was a problem with your financial aid. That it fell through and that your tuition, the full semester tuition, would be due in just two weeks when classes started. You felt your throat closing up as tears blurred your vision, panic at what you were supposed to do now clawing at your throat and stealing your voice. Distantly, you heard a door down the hall open. 

Seconds later, arms were wrapped around you, the letter falling from your limp hands to lie on the ground innocently, like that piece of paper didn’t just effectively ruin your life. You’re guided to sit on the couch, where you promptly buried your face in their chest, breathing in the comforting scent of vanilla and alpha. A choked sob leaves you and your hands reach up to clutch at their shirt, desperate for some kind of grounding. A hand rubs soothingly at your back as they murmur soft words to you, words that you can’t make out of the rushing noise in your ears, as they wait for you to calm down. Minutes passed and you take a deep shuddering breath, feeling marginally better despite the fact that you felt like your world was crumbling.

“Think you can talk about it now, babe?” 

You sit up a little, scrubbing your hands over your face before looking up at Lisa’s concerned face. You give a small shrug before looking down at your lap. She rubbed your back again. 

“I can call Jimin over if it’s an omega thing and you don’t want to talk to me about it. I know I don’t always get everything and you know I won’t be offended if you need him instead of me.” She offers, tugging her phone from her pocket.

You shake your head. “It’s not. I-” You paused, swallowing back a fresh wave of tears, trying to ignore the panic that threatens to swallow you. “My financial aid fell through... I- I have to have the whole semester paid in two weeks.” You pause to take a deep breath. “Even the payment plan installments are too big for me to afford.” You look at her with watery eyes. “I can’t finish my last year.”

“Oh, honey.” She frowns, voice sounding as wreck as if this were happening to her and not you and fully wraps her arms around you. “We’ll figure something out, I promise. You’re going to graduate with all of us if it’s the last thing we all do.”

You hiccuped a laugh at her proclamation. “You make it sound like you all are going to war for me.”

You feel her shoulders lift in a shrug. “You know we all would.” She murmurs, pressing a soothing kiss to your temple.

The two of you sit on the couch in silence for a while, Lisa’s alpha presence doing wonders in helping to keep you calm and grounded while you try to think of anything you could possibly do to get the money for school. But you come up horribly empty for anything you could do that would suddenly get you that much money. And as the time crawls by, you feel more and more despondent. 

Your pondering, Lisa called it sulking but you maintain that you were spending the time trying to think and solve this, is interrupted by a knock at your door and you shoot Lisa a look, knowing full well that you should’ve known that she was up to something. She had been far too quiet since she’d gotten you to stop crying. She gives you a wink in response and rises to go open it. Seconds later, you’re enveloped in another hug as your house appears to be invaded by the rest of your friends. You chuckle as Jimin rubs his cheek against yours before he’s sitting and pulling you close with an arm around your waist. He maintains a hand on you even as he turns away to direct someone you can’t see from your position. Your other friends trail in, all leaving comforting touches and the comforting blend of their scents on you before migrating elsewhere.

You see Taehyung and Jennie carrying bags into the kitchen after they pass you, Tae ruffling your hair and Jennie swiping a hand across the back of your neck. Jisoo squeezes your shoulder, not breaking conversation with Lisa as they follow the other two to the kitchen. You turn to Jimin, eyebrow raised.

“Did I forget about plans or something?” You question, given the events earlier, you wouldn’t put it past you to have forgotten plans. It certainly didn’t help that you all collectively invaded each other’s apartments on almost a daily basis.

Jimin shakes his head, giving you a little squeeze and you can tell by the way his eyes flit around your face that his instincts are telling him to comfort, so you reach up and grab his hand, twining your fingers together. “Lisa told us what’s going on. We came to cheer you up.” He grins.

You look from him to the bags that you can just make out on the counter, they look suspiciously full of bottles, and back again. “And you’re going to do that, how?” You ask skeptically.

Jimin winks. “Drinking.”

Hours later finds you splayed out on the floor, pleasantly drunk and your mind is blissfully free of any money worries for the moment. Jungkook and Rose had showed up not too long after the others, promptly joining the festivities as Jimin had enthusiastically poured a few shots down each of their throats. He claimed it was in the name of them catching up to everyone else. You suspect he just wanted someone else to take shots with, since everyone already present had switched to mixed drinks after the first couple of shots much to his disappointment, because you catch him sneaking a shot or two for himself. 

Taehyung flops a hand out, hitting the part of you he can reach which ends up being your shin. You giggle, squirming a little so you can look at him. 

He beams at you as he pushes himself up onto an elbow. He pauses for a moment, blinking a few times like he’s trying to focus on something, which you suspect isn’t far off because the world is probably spinning from how quick he sat up. “I know how you can pay your tuition!”

Jimin shoves him and Taehyung collapses back to the floor with a huff, breaking into drunken giggles for a moment as Jimin hisses out, “I already told you that’s a stupid idea.”

Taehyung sticks his tongue out at him once he’s got his giggles under control, though the grin stays firmly in place. “Let her decide that.” He tilts his head so he can look at you again. “It’s the best idea ever. Trust me.” He pauses for dramatic effect, the room quiet as they wait to hear his grand idea and you can hear Jimin mumble something about Taehyung having a death wish. “You can auction off your first time having a heat partner. Any alpha would kill to be your first knot.” He gestures.

Your cheeks instantly flush. That was quite possibly the last thing you had ever expected to have come out of his mouth as an idea. And you’ve known him for a while and he’s had some weird and creative solutions to things before. “Taehyung! I can’t do that!” You instantly protest.

He pouts, gestures growing more animated as he talks. “Why not? It’s literally the perfect plan. You get paid and you get laid. Win win! You said yourself that your heat’s were starting to get worse and you were thinking about taking a partner this next one. Why not make some alpha shell out the big bucks for the honor of giving you your first knot. Alpha’s love that sort of shit.” He looks over to the couch and Jimin’s comment of death wish is starting to make a lot of sense. “Right, Lisa?”

You turn to look at the girl in question too, stifling a laugh at the thoroughly unimpressed look she’s giving Taehyung. “Yeah, Tae. All us alpha’s love exactly that.” She squints at him like she’s contemplating whether it’s worth it to actually get up and you see the fight leave her as she instead chooses to take another long sip of her drink.

He grins, clearly missing the sarcasm and continues like Lisa proved his entire explanation to be true. “Come on. Just think about it. You get to have some awesome sex and you get to finish school.”

“She’s not a prostitute, Taehyung.” Jennie cuts in gently. 

“What?” His face scrunches in confusion, like he’s not talking about you selling yourself for money too. “I’m not saying that. Also there’s nothing wrong with sex work. Y/N would just be using what she’s got to her advantage!”

You wave your hand to stop Jennie’s retort, knowing that if you don’t stop this then the claws will come out. You understand her point and you know, as does Taehyung if he weren’t so drunk, that Jennie’s words just aren’t coming out the way she intends them to and you know both are too drunk to understand what the other is saying right now. “Jennie it’s fine. I didn’t think that’s quite what he meant. And Tae, I’m not going to sell myself just so I can finish school.”

Taehyung pouts, arms dropping dejectedly to the floor with a muffled thump. “I’m just saying, it’s an option. You should be open to all options.”

Taehyung lets it drop after that and Jungkook brings out Mario Kart to distract from the suddenly tense atmosphere. You mouth a ‘thank you’ to him and he gives you a sleepy smile. He helps get the game set up before he’s shifting over to you and laying with his head on your thigh. You thread your fingers through his hair, watching as everyone around you suddenly becomes much more animated as their competitiveness is magnified by their drunkenness and you bask in the warmth and love from your friends.

You wake up the next morning with a slight headache and your throat so dry it feels like you swallowed sand. You groan and bury yourself back into your covers, hoping that maybe if you don’t move that you’ll magically feel better. Someone shifts next to you and you instinctively shift closer to the warmth, humming contentedly when Jimin’s bright citrusy scent washes over you beneath the covers. Jimin’s arm wraps around you immediately as you snuggle into his chest, eyes slipping closed again as you think back to your friends suggestions from the night before, knowing you’re going to have to decide on one of them, or maybe all of them since you need so much money. Taehyung’s idea is the first thing that comes to mind and while you try to ignore it in favor of thinking of other ideas, it keeps coming back. You know it’s a bad idea, you know your friends would never fully approve, you’re still slightly unsure how to feel about the idea of doing something like selling sex to a stranger and the possible problems that might arise from that. Instead you purse your lips, shifting even closer to Jimin. 

“Jimin?” You whisper, hoping it’s loud enough to wake him up. He hums in response, rubbing his face into your pillow, but otherwise makes no indication that he’s awake. You giggle at how adorable it is. “Jimin.”

His eye cracks open, squinting at you. “What?” His voice is raspy and his arm tightens around you. 

Your arms come up, hands fidgeting nervously with his shirt as your eyes slip down because you don’t think you can ask this and look him in the eye. “Do you think I could really make enough money selling off the opportunity for someone to be my first knot?”

You feel Jimin tense beneath your hands and you refuse to look up. You don’t know what you’ll see, but you know you wouldn’t be able to handle whatever look it is, you’re in a much to precariously emotional place right now. 

“Y/N, please don’t tell me you’re actually considering Taehyung’s harebrained scheme to make money, are you?”

You swallow. You don’t want to admit that his idea seems like the best way to make the most money quickly. That you think it might be your only chance to pay for school. That a little part of you maybe likes the idea of a bunch of alpha’s fighting for you with their money. 

Jimin tilts your chin up gently, forcing you to look at him. He studies your face for a moment before he sighs. “You’ve already decided.”

Your cheeks flush but you shoot him an indignant look. “I have not! I wanted your opinion. You’re the only other omega I know well. Tae’s just a beta, he doesn’t really fully understand a heat, no matter how much he helps you out.”

Jimin hugs you close, stroking your hair and you feel yourself deflate a little. “I think that, whatever you decide is the right choice and I will be behind you 100%. I think the concept is dumb, but the idea of alpha’s fighting for you is actually pretty amusing.” He pauses before continuing, pressing his grin to your forehead. “Okay, no I’ve changed my mind. Please do this. I want to see those dumb brutes throw their money at you for something as silly as being your first heat partner when you were thinking about giving it to some alpha on campus for free.” He pulls back and his grin is full of mischief. “Take em for all they’re worth.”

You snort at that. “I don’t think anyone will pay that much for it. Hopefully it’s just enough to help with school.”

And so that’s how you find yourself sat at your laptop, Jimin practically glued to your side as you work to create a website for this. Jimin tries to be helpful, but you both are lacking in the skill department for building something quite like this. After a half hour of struggling, Jimin smacks your arm. 

You rub the spot as you glare at him. “Um, ow? What was that for?”

“We’re so dumb.” He rolls his eyes and pulls his phone out. “Why are we not calling Rose to come help with this? You know, since she’s a computer science major and this is literally what she’s good at.”

You blink at him, a little dumbfounded. You really should have thought of that in the first place before deciding you were fully capable to build a website this complicated. You pause though, fear of her judgement when she finds out what the site is for creeping up. Jimin must see the hesitation on your face because his expression softens and he sets his phone on the coffee table.

“We don’t have to. I’m sure with enough time… and googling, we can figure it out. But you know Rose loves you and wouldn’t judge you. Besides, I’m fairly certain that out of all of us, and after Taehyung, she’d be the most likely to start up a job as a camgirl. Easy money and it’s fun and you get men groveling at your feet? Sign her up.” He laughs.

You chew your lip thoughtfully, Jimin makes a good point and so you nod your assent. He beams, retrieving his phone and tapping away at the screen. Rose shows up 20 minutes later, glancing from Jimin to you then back to give him a thoroughly unimpressed look.

“You said this was an emergency?”

He nods, ushering her to the couch where your laptop resides on the table. “It is an emergency. We desperatly need your help getting money from dumb alphas.” He grins.

She raises an eyebrow before turning to you. “Can you please make sense?”

You laugh, fidgeting as you explain what you want to do and that you don’t know how to do that, but you were hoping that she does and would be willing to help. She looks pensive for a moment and the longer she remains silent, the more you begin to worry that this was the wrong thing to do. But before your thoughts can get too far, she’s reaching out to pluck your laptop off the table, settling it into her lap as she begins to pepper you and Jimin with questions about how you want the sight to look and function. You and Jimin sit on either side of her, watching with wide eyes as your website begins to take shape under her dexterous fingers. 

Four hours later, Rose sets your laptop back onto the coffee table after shifting some of the takeout boxes out of the way. She gestures to the screen grandly.

“You tuition ticket, my lady.” She grins then glances at her watch. “Oh, I gotta go, I had plans with Jisoo tonight.” She gives you a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I love you and everything will work out. But text me if you need any help with the website.” She instructs as she rises and leaves. 

Your nerves start to creep in as you stare at the screen, wondering if this will even work or if you’re just giving yourself false hope, this could all blow up in your face or you could get no one to bid. And suddenly this all seems like a really bad idea, the fear of rejection suddenly much worse. Jimin seems to sense your thoughts and wraps his arms around your middle, chin resting on your shoulder. 

“You got this babe. It looks perfect.”

“Are you sure? Should I change the wording? Or maybe add different pictures?” You fidget and Jimin grabs your hands, giving them a gentle squeeze. 

“Nope. It looks great. The pictures are great, not surprising since they’re ones that Tae took.” He takes your hand, moving the mouse to the button that makes the website live. He holds your finger above the button. “Ready?”

You squeeze your eyes closed and nod and Jimin presses your finger to the button. You release a breath, peeking an eye open to see that nothing’s changed on the page. You frown and Jimin laughs.

“You gotta give it some time. It just went live. Don’t worry. The bids’ll start rolling in soon.” He pulls away slightly, closing your laptop. “Now, let’s go get changed cause I require coffee and you need to get away from your computer otherwise you’ll stare obsessively at it and call it a failure before it’s even had a chance to get started.”

You’re awoken the next day by a loud crash from the living room. You groan and push yourself up, debating if it’s really worth it. You decide it’s probably best to go and check it out in the event that it’s something bad, so you shuffle out of your room and down the hall to see what’s going on. You were expecting something broken, maybe the ceiling caved in or a pipe burst, what you don’t expect is to see a fuming Lisa being held back by Jimin and Taehyung cowering behind the couch. He perks up when he catches sight of you before quickly cowering again when Lisa lets out a growl and you wince because it sets your own instincts on edge and it’s not even being directed at you. You can’t imagine how it’s making Taehyung feel with him getting the full force of it and you want to go comfort him as he lets out a low whine. Before you can even speak, let alone move, Lisa speaks. 

“I can’t believe you put such a stupid idea in her head! That is so incredibly dangerous! Do you know what kind of danger you’ve put her in! What the fuck is wrong with you!” She snarls, seeming to have not noticed that you’ve entered the room with how angry she is. 

Jimin rubs her arms soothingly, trying his best to calm the raging alpha. “Lisa, calm down please. Taehyung didn’t force her to do anything.”

Her furious gaze snaps to Jimin and he immediately shrinks at the look. You clear your throat and Lisa looks up, seemingly surprised to see you. Her body goes lax and Jimin tentatively releases her, hands hovering for a moment to test if she’s going to do anything before he’s hurrying around the couch to comfort Taehyung. 

You cross your arms as you stare her down, everything in you telling you to do the opposite, that you want to stop her anger, not make it worse. “Jimin’s right. Taehyung didn’t force me to do anything. And do you really think I wouldn’t check out whoever wins before letting them near me when I’m most vulnerable? I thought you trusted my judgement more than that.” You approach Lisa, taking Jimin’s place and rubbing her arms. “You know I would make a plan. You know I wouldn’t let just anyone get me alone. Don’t blame Taehyung for what I chose to do.” You pause, frowning because you realize you hadn’t even told Lisa about the auction yet. “Wait, how’d you even know I went through with it?”

Her gaze shifts behind you and you follow it to see Taehyung giving you a sheepish grin. “I may have forgotten that Lisa was going to be home this morning and came over to tell you about your bids.” When you raise an eyebrow, he runs a hand through his hair. “I may have yelled the highest bid when I opened the door. And Lisa may have been in the kitchen and heard. And that’s not really something that can be easily explained any other way, so she pretty much knew instantly what I was talking about.”

You bury your face in your hands, embarrassment licking at your face. Leave it to that idiot to tell Lisa in the most inopportune time and way possible. You’d had a whole plan on how to break the news to her gently and in a way that wouldn’t involve Taehyung’s possible murder, you really didn’t want to become an accomplice to that. When you look back up at Taehyung though, he’s grinning at you.

“Your highest bid is $13,000, by the way.”

Your jaw drops and you stare at him before your turning away to go grab your laptop. There’s no way what Taeyhung said was true, this has to be some sort of joke. Pulling up the site, you’re stunned to see that Taehyung’s right. Your current highest bid is sitting at just over 13K. You chew your lip, you can’t believe Taehyung’s dumb idea is actually working. You’d had some doubts, but even when you imagined this working, you never thought it’d work to this extent. Hope bubbles in you as you let out a slightly hysterical laugh as you think about how you might actually get to finish school. 

“You’ve got to hear this.” Seokjin looks up from the files on his desk as Hoseok pushes into his office, followed closely by Namjoon and Yoongi. He’d be irritated if he hadn’t been distracted anyway, something about this day just feeling off, so their intrusion makes for a welcome break. Hoseok flops onto the couch, reading over something on his tablet as the other two take a seat in the adjacent chairs. 

Seokjin waits for Hoseok to elaborate and when he doesn’t he rolls his eyes. “Are you going to tell me or do I need to read your mind?”

Hoseok glares at him before he looks pointedly at the other seat in the little seating area in the office. Seokjin rolls his eyes again before pushing himself up and going to join the others. Once he’s settled, Hoseok finally speaks. 

“So there’s this omega that’s selling her virginity to the highest bidder.” He states, flipping his tablet around to show the article to the others and scrolling to show a picture of the omega in question. 

Yoongi snorts. “She’s pretty, but that’s such a stupid thing to do. Virginity isn’t even real.”

Hoseok shrugs. “Maybe so. But apparently some people think it is. Because her current highest bidder is willing to pay $95,000 to fuck her during her heat.”

All three of them raise their eyebrows in surprise as Hoseok gives the number. 

“No way. You’re making shit up.” Namjoon laughs and Seokjin has to agree, this sounds way too crazy to be a real thing.

Hoseok shakes his head, quickly switching tabs to the omega’s webpage where the current highest bidder is displayed, along with some photos and a little blurb about her and what she’s doing. Seokjin grabs the tablet, reading over the page. 

Hello! My name is Y/N! I’m about to be a senior in college. Well I hopefully will be once I have the money, which is where this page, and one lucky helpful alpha, comes in. I’m an omega and I’ve never taken a heat partner or a knot before. So I’ve decided to auction off the opportunity to be my first in order to help me pay for my last year of school! Even if you can’t or don’t want to bid, thank you just for checking out the page :)

“I’ll give her, she’s brave.” And cute, Seokjin thinks as he hands the tablet back to Hoseok.

Yoongi rolls his eyes with a snort. “Alpha’s are stupid.”

The others all laugh. “Yoongi, you’re an alpha.” Namjoon points out.

Yoongi throws his hands up. “Exactly! I’m dumb as fuck! So is Seokjin. And Hoseok. Namjoon is only half dumb, his genius helps balance out his alpha dumbness. Alpha’s are a stupid breed and I honestly don’t know how we manage to not only survive but somehow be considered the top dogs.”

“I take offense to calling me dumb. If it weren’t for me then you assholes wouldn’t have jobs.” Seokjin glares half heartedly at Yoongi. 

“If it weren’t for your dad, then you wouldn’t have a job either dickhead.” Hoseok snarks.

Namjoon claps to get everyone’s attention. “Okay, enough talk about statuses. We do have actual business to discuss.” He pulls out a few sheets of paper and a notebook out of his bag, spreading them out on the coffee table.

A few days later, Seokjin is waiting in line to order a coffee. This entire week has been weirdly off and Seokjin is about at his wits end with life, most recently his usual, and favorite coffee shop is closed for the foreseeable future due to some piping issues that they’re taking the opportunity to use to renovate. So he’d had to find a new one on the way to work, which is why he stands here now, surrounded by college students because he forgot that his route to work went by one of the nearby universities. 

He debates leaving and just going to the Starbucks in the lobby of his building when a girl at the other end of the counter catches his attention. He observes her for a moment, eyes dragging along her frame, trying to place why she looks so familiar. Then it hits him and he quickly looks away, cheeks heating up. Because that’s Y/N, the omega who’s selling off her virginity to the highest bidder. Hoseok has been keeping them all up to date on how it was going, his last update yesterday before he left Seokjin’s place where they’d all been hanging out. Your virginity was currently going for $166,000. 

Seokjin sneaks another peek at you as you wait for your order, tapping away at your phone screen and headphones firmly in place to block out the chatter around you. He decides that those photos don’t do you justice, you’re far more gorgeous in person and Seokjin has to force himself to turn away or else get caught being a creeper and staring. A drink is slid in front of you and Seokjin catches your smile to the barista before your turning and heading out the door. You breeze past him and your scent invades his senses, it’s warm and spicy, it reminds him of his grandma’s baking at Christmas and he could just sink into it’s comfort. He has to fight the urge to follow after you and scent you. 

He flushes darker as he jerks back to the line, wondering just where that urge had come from, he’s never had that type of visceral reaction to catching a whiff of anyone. It’s so out of the blue for him that it leaves him reeling a little bit. He tries to shake himself out of it, mechanically ordering his drink and moving to the end of the counter where he can still catch bits of it. When he gets his coffee, he leaves quickly, taking a deep breath of fresh air once he gets outside, trying to rid himself of your lingering scent. 

He gets to the office and work quickly distracts him from all thoughts of wanting to bury himself in your intoxicating smell and any interest he may have gained in you. That is until lunch time comes and Hoseok strolls in with his “omega update” as he’s come to call it. Seokjin is quick to correct him today that you have a name and he tries not to think about why he suddenly felt the need to point that out. 

Hoseok blinks at him in surprise. “Okay, here’s the update on Y/N. With just a couple hours left, the highest bid sits at $343,000.” Hoseok turns and leaves abruptly, apparently not in the mood to deal with Seokjin and muttering something about him being a moody alpha today and not wanting to stick around.

Seokjin would normally snap back at a snide comment about him being moody but all he can focus on is you and whoever is the highest bidder, suddenly all he can think about is someone spending your heat with you, someone that’s not him. Before he even realizes what he’s doing, he’s pulled up your website and is staring at the bid button. It taunts him, whispers to him that the unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach would go away if he just hit it. He swallows and shakes his head, he’s being ridiculous. He’s about to close the tab back out when the highest bid goes up and Seokjin’s skin crawls at the thought of whatever alpha just bid touching you. 

Then before he can overthink it, he’s hitting the bid button himself, quickly adding his information and what his bid is. A little banner congratulates him on becoming the highest bidder and Seokjin sits there feeling smug and satisfied. He nods to himself, pride and happiness oozing from him as he stands to go get lunch, deciding that he’ll apologize to Hoseok and treat him to his favorite as apology for getting snappy with him.

Seokjin has a full schedule of meetings after lunch and being in his element like this, he forgets that the auction ends soon. He only remembers when he’s sat at his desk going through his meeting notes and happens to catch his computer screen out of the corner of his eye, still open to your page. Thoughts of you flit through his mind again and he takes a moment to look over the page. Strictly out of curiosity he tells himself, he’s just curious at all. He freezes, realizing that there’s only 10 minutes left of the auction and he’s no longer the highest bidder. He apparently hasn’t been for a while because the bids have grown by almost $100,000 since he left. 

He panics and watches as another bid comes in and the timer continues to slowly tick down. His thoughts jumbled and his instincts screaming at him to do something, anything to get rid of the possibility of another alpha touching you. He sits frozen for another few seconds before he’s jerking into action and doing the only thing he can think of that makes sense, bidding high enough that no one else can outbid him. He frantically types his bid in, watching the timer until it’s close enough to the end before hitting the button. 

The congratulations banner pops up again and then a few seconds later another banner pops up announcing that the auction is closed and announces that Seokjin’s bid is the winner. Seokjin feels immensely proud of himself for winning, relief washing through him at the knowledge that no other alpha was going to touch you. That is, until the reality of how much money he just bid finally hits him. He stares at his screen, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he just spent $750,000 on an omega and he can’t think of a single rational reason as to why the fuck he did that. He feels slightly panicked, but at the same time relieved.

His phone rings some time later, knocking him out of his black staring at his screen and the mocking little ‘congratulations’ banner and he blindly reaches out to answer it.

“Hello Mr. Kim! This is Jaehee from your finance advising office. We wanted to verify if this was indeed you trying to send this money since it’s a very large amount.”

Seokjin shakes his head to clear the daze he’s been in. “What’s the amount?”

“$750,000, sir.”

“And what’s the name of the account holder it’s going to?”

There’s the sound of typing for a moment before she responds. “It appears to be going to a Ms. Y/L/N Y/N. Is this an authorized transfer, sir?”

Seokjin swallows. He could say no, there must have been a mistake somewhere, could fix his impulsive decision so easily. His eyes flick back to the screen and he sees the little blurb you’d written explaining why you were even doing this, your smiling face next to it. “Yes, it’s authorized. Send it.”

“Right away sir. Have a good afternoon.” 

With that she hangs up and Seokjin sets the phone back down, still stunned that he’d really done this. He could’ve stopped this, but for some reason it made him feel worse, thoughts of your disappointment when the money didn’t come. He kind of wants to slap himself, Yoongi was right, alpha’s are fucking stupid. Seokjin is contemplating how he can avoid this getting out to the others, because if Hoseok finds out he not only bid but that he won, and that he won with such a high bid, he’ll never hear the end of it. His computer pings with a new email and he idly checks who sent it when your last name catches his attention and he’s trying to open the email as quickly as possible. 

Good afternoon Mr. Kim! This is Y/N. Congratulations on winning the auction and thank you for the very generous bid! I was writing to see when you wanted to meet before my heat to work out the details of how that’ll be spent. My heat is in about a month, but classes start next week so my schedule is going to be a little hectic. I’ve attached my schedule and highlighted some of the best times for me to meet up. Our first meeting will also be supervised by my roommate, who’s also an alpha. She’s very protective and there was no way to talk her out of coming with to verify that you’re not a threat (I’m honestly really sorry she would’ve followed me even if I’d said no so this was the easier way). Anyway, I hope to hear back from you soon! I can’t thank you enough for this.

♥ Y/N

Seokjin can’t help the goofy grin that spreads across his face as he rereads your email. You sound so adorable and he’s already scanning over your schedule to see when he can talk to you in person. He feels skeptical about another alpha coming to the meeting, especially one that is protective of you, but he decides it’s worth it to see you again. It can’t be all that bad.

You’re positive that you’re seeing the computer wrong. There’s no way that number is correct. You rub your eyes as an extra measure, still trying to wrap your head around the number sitting on screen. You refresh your bank page, but the amount now sitting in your account reflects the highest bid. And you’re floored that some alpha seriously just paid you $750,000 to spend your heat with you. You’re honestly surprised that not only Taehyung’s plan work actually worked, but that it worked in such an over the top away.

You hear the others in the living room and you know they’re waiting to find out what the highest bid was. You’d made them swear not to check the website after that first day and so far they’ve all listened to you. But you’re sure that if you take much longer to go out there and tell them the results that they’ll just go check themselves. 

You switch tabs to the bidders information, getting his email and typing up a quick message, try to sound calm and collected and not like you’re literally 2 seconds away from crying from pure joy, and sending it off to him. You double check that you have his name right, because you know your friends will ask when you tell them the amount. With that, you gather your laptop and make your way out to the living room. Taehyung, Jimin, Lisa, and Rose are sitting around talking, stopping the second you enter and you shift awkwardly.

“Okay, so that’s not creepy. Why are you guys making this weird?” You whine. 

Rose snorts. “You just sold off your heat and you wouldn’t let us stay updated on the amount. We want to know. Spill.”

You make a face before stepping up to the coffee table. You set your laptop down, making sure your bank account page is up, then you flip it around so they all can see the screen, which they quickly crowd around to get a look at. There’s a chorus of gasps and then Taehyung is launching himself over the table to tackle you into a hug.

“Holy shit! I told you! Look at you! You’re the rich friend now! You can treat us to dinner!”

You snort and shove his face away from you. “Did you suggest this just so you could get free food out of it?”

Taehyung looks offended. “No! I wanted you to get enough so you can finish the degree you’ve been working so hard for. I didn’t anticipate that amount.”

“So who’s the lucky alpha?” Jimin pipes up, still staring at the screen with wondrous eyes. 

“Um, his name is Kim Seokjin?”

Rose stares at you with wide eyes. “Kim Seokjin?” She repeats and when you nod, she tugs your laptop to her and types something in before turning the screen back towards you. “This Kim Seokjin?”

You blink at the search she’s showing you. The man is gorgeous and if it’s the same Kim Seokjin as the one who bid then you can’t say you’d mind spending your heat with him, he’s certainly a far cry from the creepy old man you had been picturing as being your fate. Jimin is quick to join the two of you on the floor as you all stare at the man on the screen. Taehyung must agree with you because he lets out a whistle as he looks through the photos on screen. 

You shrug. “I’m not sure. I mean, the bidding didn’t get a picture. It was just a name and email and the banking info.” You glance over some of the text on the page. “But I think the company they mention is what his email address used. He must work pretty high up to afford that high of a bid.”

“Um, he owns the company.” Jimin adds, pointing to a line you’d skipped over when reading. He reads and then points to something else. “Aaaaaand his dad apparently owns a whole bunch more. Holy shit, you got yourself a rich rich boy.”

You glance over to Lisa sitting with her arms crossed. When she notices you looking at her, she speaks. “That just means I’m definitely coming with. Those rich CEO boys are always so entitled. He’s got another thing coming.”

You laugh. “Yes, Lisa. I know. I already emailed him and informed him that my very protective alpha roommate would be attending our meeting and that the point was not negotiable.”

She nods her approval then her face softens. “I’m glad you get to finish school now.” Then she smirks. “Taehyung is right though. You’re definitely treating us to dinner. I’ll go call the others.”

She stands, walking away as you protest being made to pay for dinner as the others laugh, you protests falling on deaf ears. 

That night you’re crawling into bed when your phone pings and you grab it from your night stand to see who’s messaging you. A little smile pulls at your lips when you see that Seokjin has responded already. Eager, you muse with a giggle. You settle back against the mattress, opening the email to see what he’s said. 

Hello Y/N. How about we meet tomorrow for lunch? I know a great little cafe we can go to. My treat of course. And I can pay for your friend as well. I’m completely okay with her coming along, I understand the risks you’re going through to do something like this and as an alpha myself, I get where her worry is coming from, so she’s more than welcome to come along. If tomorrow doesn’t work just let me know when you’d like to meet. I look forward to our meeting. And please, just Seokjin is fine. 

You bite your lip, a little thrilled that he seems even more eager to meet you already. You really hope Rose was right about which Kim Seokjin this was. You type out a quick response letting him know that tomorrow works fine and to let you know where the cafe is. Then you text Lisa to let her know that you’ll be meeting Seokjin tomorrow and that he’s even offered to pay for her lunch as well. 

With that, you snuggle under your covers. You lay there, thoughts drifting to how tomorrow might go and you let yourself drift off thinking about plush lips and broad shoulders. 

Lisa’s sat on your bed as you fuss with your outfit, rolling her eyes when she gets fed up with you smoothing out your shirt for the 20th time in 5 minutes. “We’re going to be late at this rate.”

You shoot her a glare before nervously checking your phone for the time, worried that you’ve been too preoccupied to keep to the scheduled time you needed to leave, breathing a little sigh of relief when you see you still have plenty of time. You make a face at Lisa for making you worry and go back to making sure your outfit looked okay. You still are unsure if this isn’t nice enough, the lowcut sweater and jeans are by no means fancy but it’s one of your nicer outfits. You’d looked up the restaurant that Seokjin had sent you and it seemed to be just a casual place, so you assumed this would be fine. You wonder if Seokjin is going to be wearing a suit since he’s coming from work and you decide that maybe you should change so you look more put together.

You move back to your closet, looking through the options. “I want to look nice. What’s wrong with that?”

Lisa smirks a little, standing and walking over to halt your nervous sifting through your closet. “Does this have anything to do with the fact that you might be meeting a certain Mr. Kim Seokjin of BigHit?”

You flush and swat at her hands, turning back to your clothes with the intention of finding something to change into. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I would want to look nice for any alpha who won.” You pout. 

Lisa hums, looking thoroughly unconvinced which makes you pout more. She once again takes your hands, this time using the grip to pull you back in front of the mirror. She leaves you there for a moment to grab a necklace off your dresser before she back behind you to help put it on, not so subtly scenting you as she does so. She gives your shoulders a squeeze when she finished, meeting your gaze in the mirror.

“You look amazing, babe. You’re gonna knock him dead.” She winks. 

You frown, looking over yourself in the mirror. The necklace Lisa chose sits nicely just above your cleavage, naturally drawing anyone’s eyes down and you’d usually sing her praises for helping you tease a guy, except you know she’s still on edge about this, even with her support and joking. Finally you nod, knowing that no matter her reservations, Lisa wouldn’t let you go looking anything less that stunning and you gather up your bag and phone. 

You grin at Lisa. “Let’s go.”

You enter the cafe, glancing nervously around. You realize you hadn’t made a way for you to identify him from the crowd in the event that it wasn’t the Seokjin you thought, hoped, it was. You chew your lip, suddenly feeling even more nervous before you notice a figure nearby stand and turn to you with a bright smile. Your first thought is that he is breathtaking and this must be some kind of bet that he lost cause there’s no feasible reason for this gorgeous alpha to pay such a crazy amount of money just to sleep with you. Then he’s stepping toward you and Lisa and the overwhelming scent of him washes over you and you fight down the whine that threatens to spill. He smells of woodsmoke and comfort and a part of you wants to burrow into it and never leave. It reminds you of campfires with your friends, talking late into the night under the stars and the feeling of home that it reminds you of. 

“Ah, Y/N!” He greets, smile widening as he holds his hand out to you and you meekly take it, still reeling from the effects of his scent, eyes widening in surprise when instead of shaking your hand, he raises it to his lips to brush a soft kiss to your knuckles. “Kim Seokjin. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He turns to Lisa, who you note also looks a little blindsided and you tuck that information away to tease her about later. “And you must be the alpha roommate and friend, it’s a pleasure to meet you as well…”

He trails off, waiting expectantly for one of you to fill in her name. Lisa recovers first, crossing her arms and letting a little of the alpha power roll off her. “Lisa.” 

Seokjin nods his head in a little bow. “Lisa. Pleasure.” He gestures to the table he’d stood from. “I have a table for us. I figured we could eat and get to know each other a little bit first before we get to the…” He flounders for a second, brows creasing. “Other business.”

He leads you both to the table, pulling the chair next to his out for you but before you can sit, Lisa is sliding into it, shooting Seokjin a look as he quickly school’s the surprise from his face. You’d yell at her for being rude, but save it until the two of you can be alone. Seokjin though, just gives her a smile then moves to the other chair to pull it out for you. You wait a second, half expecting Lisa to switch chairs just to keep you from sitting down and talking to Seokjin and have to fight back the laugh at her switching chairs constantly just to keep Seokjin on his feet and working for this. When she seems content with just being a physical barrier between the two of you, you sit, smiling your thanks to Seokjin as he slides back into his seat. 

The table is silent for a few minutes from a mix of nerves and you all looking over the menu. Well, you and Lisa are looking over the menu, when you sneak a peek at Seokjin, you find him already looking at you, menu untouched in front of him. You flush, eyes darting back to the menu, trying to focus on finding something that you think you could eat with the butterflies currently sitting in your stomach. 

The waiter comes by soon after and you all order. Silence hangs over the table after the waiter leaves, no one knowing what to talk about. You’re busy sorting through your own thoughts for something suitable to say when Lisa speaks up.

“What are your intentions with Y/N?” 

You gasp, smacking her arm. “Lisa! You can’t just ask that!”

She gives you a flat look and you feel a bit like a child being chastised. “Why not? He paid that much for something. Why beat around the bush?” She turns back to Seokjin, eyebrow arched as she waits for him to respond. 

Seokjin takes the question in stride, looking very unruffled and even like he expected it, which given your warning, perhaps he was expecting this. He clears his throat, shifting in his chair before addressing you both. “Well, there’s obviously what the original deal was.” Lisa tenses up, about to respond when Seokjin holds a hand up so he can continue. “But, while I feel like the concept of virginity is… well we’ll just say not very great. I don’t think your first experience should be with a stranger during your heat. So I’m willing to change the deal.”

You glance at Lisa and she looks surprised and you cover your mouth to smother a giggle. Seokjin notices and shoots you a questioning look. Lisa looks back at you and you can hear the unasked question in her eyes. You chew your lip, deciding that Seokjin seems like he might take the truth the best. At least you hope he will, maybe he’ll even still be willing afterward. 

You straighten your back. “So… In all honesty…” You glance down at your hands, taking a deep breath before continuing. “The media reported everything wrong, they got a little carried away, you know how embellished stuff can get when it starts getting passed around like that. My site only said that I’ve never had a heat partner or taken a knot. Everyone just assumed I was a virgin. I’m not, I’ve had sex outside of my heats.”

Lisa’s hand reaches over and she gives your arm a reassuring squeeze, knowing how nervous you were to reveal that. As the seconds tick past, your anxiety kicks up even more and you finally glance up to gauge Seokjin’s reaction to the news. His face is blank, staring at a spot just over your shoulder. The longer he stays silent the more the atmosphere feels like it’s suffocating you. You’re just about to tell Seokjin that you’ll give him his money back because this wasn’t what he was expecting to get but Seokjin’s sudden snort keeps your mouth shut. His hand covers his mouth and you watch as he starts full out laughing. You look to Lisa for help, but she looks just as perplexed by this response as you. 

His laughter finally dies down and he wipes the tears from his eyes as he tries to catch his breath. You clear your throat and Seokjin looks up at you, giving you a smile. “That’s actually incredibly hilarious. I love it. My god, you played the system like a fiddle.”

You open your mouth to say something, but you don’t even have the faintest idea what you should say. 

“My earlier point still stands. We don’t have to go through with this. And you can keep the money.”

“You’d let her keep that much money for nothing in exchange?” Lisa sounds about as incredulous as you feel. Why on earth would he let you keep nearly a million dollars without even getting what he paid for. You suddenly feel self-conscious, wondering if you weren’t living up to whatever expectionations he’d had and he doesn’t want to sleep with you now.

Seokjin shrugs, but doesn’t offer any explanation that particularly helps to calm your spiraling thoughts. “Well, I’d hope we could at least continue talking. But for the laughs alone, you deserve to keep the money. I want you to finish your degree.”

Your food’s arrival interrupts further conversation and you take the small repreve in conversation to mull over your options. You never expected Seokjin to let you keep the money while not spending your heat with you. You assumed he’d want something more for how much he paid. Something more than apparently just friendship. You notice Lisa has finished her food quicker than usual and that she’s now standing. You frown in confusion, about to ask what she’s doing when she addresses you both. 

“I believe I’ve seen enough.” Dread settles in your stomach before she turns to you with a small smile. “He seems like an okay guy. I trust him.” She turns to Seokjin, delivering one final glare along with a threat. “Don’t fuck this up, I will not hesitate to kill you if you hurt her in any way.”

And with that she’s turning and leaving the restaurant. You watch her go, you hadn’t expected her to even approve of Seokjin, let alone leave and give you time to talk to him alone. You face Seokjin again and he’s glowing as he smiles at you.

“I have to say, that was a little unexpected. Not that she doesn’t seem like a lovely person, but I can’t deny that it’s a very big relief to be able to talk to you without fear that she’s about to rip my dick off.”

You giggle. “I don’t think she’d have gone that far. Especially considering I currently have a vested interest in that particular body part.” You wink at him, delighting in the flush that colors his cheeks. “And I’ve been thinking. I’m okay with spending my heat with you, if you want. I’ll leave the decision to you since you seem to be more unsure.” You purse your lips, looking off in thought, hoping you come off as much more collected that how your mind feels. “If not, I’ll probably just find an alpha from school. I know a couple that have expressed interest in the past.”

The growl from the other side of the table surprises you and you blink at Seokjin with wide eyes just in time to see his eyes flash red. Your breath catches and you stop yourself just before you can tilt your head to expose your neck to him. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and you wonder what caused that kind of reaction. 

When his eyes open again, he looks much calmer. “No, I don’t think that’s necessary. I’ll help you with your heat. You said it’s in a few weeks?”

A thrill runs down your spin when he agrees and you have to school your face to not appear as eager as you feel. You give a little nod. “Yeah. I can send you the exact date it should be.”

Seokjin thinks for a moment before pulling his phone from his pocket and sliding it across the table to you, a new contact screen shining up at you. “Here, give me your number. It’ll be easier to get a hold of me.” He pauses before adding. “In case your heat comes early.”

You nod shyly, inputting your information and sending yourself a text so you have his number too. You slide his phone back across to him and he gives a pleased rumble as he slides it back into his pocket. The two of you talk a little while longer before Seokjin seems to realize how long you’ve been here and apologizes, letting you know that he has a meeting he has to get too. He walks you to your car, looking unsure for a moment.

“Can I give you a hug?” He asks with uncertainty. 

You laugh and open your arms and Seokjin immediately envelopes you in a tight embrace. You don’t miss the way that his cheek drags across your hair and you stifle the laugh at his very unsubtle scenting. You can’t help yourself when you bury your face in his chest, deciding that if he can do it then so can you, feeling a little bit of pride when you finally step back and see the slightly dazed look in his eyes. 

You spend the rest of the night trying to dodge your friends’ teasing after they catch the whiff of Seokjin on you. Teasing you even more when you reveal that you’ll be spending your heat with him. You ignore them, spending most of the night staring at his contact number in your phone and feeling the anticipation building in your gut. You wonder if you’re allowed to text him now or if he only gave you his number in the event that your heat started early, which you give him is a lot more forethought about this than you had. You want to talk more with him, the conversation you’d had with him after Lisa left had been fun and you were eager to continue. Something about him put you at ease, despite never having met him before.

Your worries about texting him turn out not to matter because you wake up the next day to see that he’s texted you and you have to fight down the excited squeal that would definitely wake Lisa, and maybe the neighborhood. This leads to more teasing from your friends because you and Seokjin text a lot in the following days. The two of you text about everything, learning more about each other. You find out that Seokjin has a penchant for making dad jokes and you’re glad you have your phone to hide behind so Seokjin can’t see how hard you laugh every time he makes one. You know he’d be far too pleased with himself if he saw how much you enjoyed them and you find it much more fun to tell him the jokes are bad to see him keep trying to get you to react positively. He also takes the opportunity to ask you a lot of questions regarding your heats, everything from favorite snacks, fruits, drinks, what materials felt best, scents you liked, nothing seemed to be off limits to his questioning. 

When you question why he’s so curious, he sheepishly tells you that he goes into caretaker mode when he has an omega. So he’s been prepping his apartment, after it was decided that his place was better to spend your heat at because it meant that Lisa didn’t have to find somewhere else to stay for a week, stocking up on things you like and things that he knows help. You’re stomach twists, trying not to think about him helping other omegas the way he’s going to help you. You try to push the thoughts away, the jealousy burning your throat when you think about him with someone else. And so you irrationally decided it’s best to ask him how many times he’s done this to have such a system down. 

He doesn’t respond right away and you worry that you’ve crossed some sort of boundary that you didn’t know about. You end up stress cleaning the whole apartment until he finally responds. Telling you that he’s sorry, his friend was having a crisis. He assures you that his system isn’t just his, him and his friends have complied all their experiences together in an attempt to make heats less hard on omegas in their care. Which leads to him telling you about the crisis that had taken his attention. His friend, Yoongi, had tagged along to a dance class their other friend Hoseok was guest teaching at and now Yoongi is having a crisis over an omega that was in the class. 

You offer to give Yoongi some advice since you’re an omega but Seokjin declines, stating that it’s way funnier to watch the normally cool, collected Min Yoongi turn into a puddle of pining alpha over an omega that ignored him. 

It turns out that Seokjin had good forethought in giving you his number for emergencies, because two days before your heat is suppose to start, you wake up in the middle of the night covered in sweat. Your mind feels hazy and you have no idea what it is that woke you up, first thinking that maybe Lisa had just gotten home, but the silence in your apartment says that’s not true. A shudder wracks your frame and you realize with a small sense of dread that your heat’s come early. 

For a moment, you think about how you haven’t prepared anything for your heat before it hits you that you didn’t prep anything because you have someone else who did that for you. And once the thought of Seokjin is in your head, he’s all you can focus on. Your blankets scratch at your skin and you kick them off as a fresh wave of slick drips from you. 

You pull yourself together just enough to roll to the side to grab your phone off the nightstand, dialing Seokjin’s number with shaky fingers. The call goes to voicemail and you groan, free hand cupping your mound in an attempt to alleviate some of your rising discomfort. You redial and a few rings later he answers. His snappy ‘what’ sends a shiver through you, wanting to roll over and submit to quell the alpha seeping into his tone. 

You whine and Seokjin’s tone changes immediately. “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

You squirm, thighs rubbing together as you try to string together enough sounds to speak. “Heat…”

Seokjin curses. “It came early?” You whine an affirmative. “Shit, okay. Well, you’re obviously in no state to get here so I’ll be over soon okay? I’ll make it all better, little omega.” He coos, voice calm despite how panicky he is feeling. 

You whine and Seokjin hushes you, promising he’ll be there soon, that he just has to grab a few things and he’ll be right over.

Seokjin hangs up the phone, cutting off another whine from you that has his heart constricting as he scrambles out of bed. He stuffs his phone into the pocket of his sweats and takes a second to breath and to try to get his panic to subside so he can think clearly. He has to relax because he has you waiting for him, he’s your only relief and he can’t bare the thought of letting you down. And he knows that he needs to be the calm one, that you’re in no state to be the rational one. He takes another deep breath before moving into action, making a mental list of everything he needs to do before he leaves.

He grabs the first tshirt he finds, pulling a duffle from his closet and stuffing a few changes of comfortable clothes into it along with his wallet and charger. He’s about to leave the room to move onto the things in the kitchen when the pile of linens in the corner catch his eye. He pauses before deciding that taking extra sheets along would probably be smart and along with those he grabs the blanket from his bed, knowing that the scent of him buried in the fibers will be soothing to you, ignoring the thought that it’s the scent of him that will calm you and not just the scent of alpha that’s covering the blanket.

He sets that bag on the kitchen table as he begins digging through the cabinets for the things he’d purchased for you. It takes him a few minutes and when all the snacks and quick meals he’d bought for you are laid out on the counter, he realizes he may have actually bought way more than you could possibly ever eat over the course of your heat. He shakes his head, trying to reason that he was just trying to be prepared and make your first heat with a partner a good experience, pushing aside any other thoughts that try to make themselves known. Instead, he busies himself with packing up as much of the food as he can into the two reusable totes he has hanging near the fridge. 

Those bags join the other one on the table and Seokjin takes a moment to quickly run through his list, trying not to mourn the loss of all the preping he did that’s now going to waste. Deciding he has everything that he might need while there and that if there’s anything else that he absolutely needs can just be ordered for delivery, he gathers up the bags and his keys and quickly makes his way to the elevator to get to the garage. 

Bags safely stowed away in the trunk, he pulls his phone out to shoot a quick email to Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon to let them know that he’s taking his leave early before tucking his phone back into his pocket and getting into the car.

You whine again as Seokjin hangs up. You know he lives across town, you know how long it’ll probably take him to get here even if it’s late and there’s likely to be little traffic. His hanging up has left you in the suffocating silence of your apartment. You debate whether you can try to sleep again until he gets here when you realize that your door is locked and that if you do manage to sleep at all that he’ll have no way to get in. And you can’t guarantee that you’ll be lucid enough later to navigate the house to unlock the door. 

With that thought in mind, you push yourself out of bed, wobbling for a second on unsteady legs before you regain your balance. You shuffle out of your room, grateful that Lisa isn’t home right now because just the lingering scent of her makes walking away from her bedroom difficult. And you’re fairly positive that in your current state, you would’ve just climbed into her bed with her were she here and the thought makes you huff in annoyance, hating the fact that your heat pushes your instincts so far to the surface that you’d climb into bed with your best friend without her consent. 

You manage to make it to the door and get the door unlocked with no problems and you pause to press your forehead to the cool wood, allowing yourself a moment to use the coolness to keep your mind still partially yours. You turn your head, staring longingly at the couch and wanting nothing more than to just collapse on it and wait, but you know Lisa would probably kill you if you spent any part of your heat on the couch. She’ll probably grouse that you got your “heat stink” all over the apartment, knowing that you’re going to spend the day after airing the place out and lighting some candles to make it bearable for her to come back. At least the weather is nice enough to leave the windows open to do so.

With a last burst of effort, you push yourself off the door and make your way back to your room. You stare distastefully at your bed, knowing that the normally comfortable and soft fabric is going to feel irritating against your skin. You sigh, flopping onto your belly, squirming around until you deem yourself as comfortable as you’re going to get. You get a few blissful minutes where you just lay there in silence, almost peaceful enough that you feel yourself starting to drift off to sleep. 

That is until another wave of heat shudders through you. You groan, pressing your thighs together in hopes of getting some relief. When none comes you blindly reach for one of your pillows, propping yourself up slightly and stuffing the pillow between your thighs. You grind against it, moaning at the friction against your sensitive clit. You mindlessly rut against the pillow, slowly growing frustrated when all it does is keep you on edge. 

You lose track of the time, only becoming aware of just how much time has passed when you hear a curse behind you followed quickly be the overwhelming scent of Seokjin and alpha. A fresh gush of slick drips out of you and you don’t even think before pushing your ass further up into the air to present to him, the only thing filling your mind being him. You preen at the sharp inhale you hear from Seokjin, pride that your alpha is reacting so well to you but when you don’t hear him make any move closer you whine.

“Alpha…” You coo, wiggling your butt enticingly. 

Excitement courses through you when you hear him finally step closer, quickly followed by disappointment when instead of stepping behind you and touching you like you want, he walks around the side of the bed to take a seat. You bury your face in your sheets, ignoring the way they scratch at you in favor of using them to muffle your whimpers. Something clicks onto your nightstand and then Seokjin is reaching out tentatively, hand curling around your forearm. 

“Y/N? Where’s Lisa?”

You lean closer to him, shifting enough to bury your face in his thigh to hide the way your face scrunches up at his mention of your friend. “Out with Jisoo.”

Seokjin threads his fingers through your hair, scratching lightly at your scalp. “Did you tell her your heat started?” You shake your head, practically purring at the attention he’s giving you. You feel Seokjin move and you grab his arm before he can withdraw the hand on your head. He chuckles. “Don’t worry, princess. I’m not going anywhere. Can you sit up for me though?”

You shake your head and Seokjin chuckles, free hand landing on your shoulder and gently nudging you. “Princess, I need you to sit up. I know you didn’t take any birth control since this was a surprise so I need you to take it now, but you need to sit up first.”

You grumble but relent to his nudges, sitting back on your knees, moaning when the shift has your core dragging across your pillow. Seokjin’s gaze drops to the pillow, tongue darting out to wet his lips. His hand drops from your shoulder to touch the damp spot you’ve created and he growls. Your hips twitch at the sound, wanting nothing more than to shift forward the few inches separating your soaked core from his hand. He seems to read your thoughts, hands quickly pulling away and then he’s turning slightly to grab something off your nightstand. 

Turning back, he holds the pill in his hand up to your mouth. “Open, princess.” 

You obey, tongue sticking out slightly as he sets the pill onto your tongue and you let the tip drag ever so lightly across the pad of his finger as he withdraws it. His eyes darken but rather than do anything about the lust you see swirling there, he simply holds out a glass of water to you. You frown, taking it from him and taking a sip to swallow your pill. When you try to hand it back, he pushes it back towards you.

“Drink it all first. I need to call Lisa.” He says, reaching for your phone.

You pout, confused by his refusal to cave into what you both want, and more importantly, what he paid a lot of money for. He lifts it encouragingly towards your mouth and you reluctantly take a few more sips. Seemingly pleased, he nods and turns his attention to your phone, tapping at the screen a few times before bringing it up to his ear. 

It rings a few times before a giggling Lisa finally answers. “Y/N! Hey, I thought you’d be asleep by now!”

“Hi, Lisa.” Seokjin stares pointedly at the glass in your hands when he sees you’ve stopped drinking. You make a face at him but drink more of it.

“Seokjin? Why do you have Y/N’s phone? Is she okay? Is something wrong?” Lisa sounds increasingly worried as she asks questions.

“Lisa, calm down. She’s fine.” He glances at the pillow still firmly between your thighs and swallows. “Well as fine as she can be. Look, her heat started early. And it started while she was asleep so I can’t get her back to my place.”

Lisa swears under her breath. “I don’t know if I can find a place for that long. Shit, and I don’t have any spare clothes.”

You drain the last of the water and nudge the glass back towards Seokjin, beginning to grow frustrated with his dismissal of you. He takes it with a wide grin, placing it back onto the nightstand then let’s his hand rub your thigh in silent praise. You hum happily at the soothing contact. 

“Don’t worry, Lisa. You can stay at my place. The deskman knows what you look like so he’ll let you up. The door code is 92324. Some of my spare credit cards are in the top drawer of my desk in my office and you can take one and go buy some clothes so you have something to wear.” Seokjin’s thumb rubs absent circles on the skin of your thigh while rattling off instructions to Lisa.

You squirm closer, finally having enough of Seokjin ignoring you for other things and you decide to do something about it. You reach out, placing your hands on his knees. His gaze flicks to your face then drops to where your hands are slowly creeping up his thighs. His eyes narrow at you.

“What? You can’t be serious, that’s far too much.” Lisa protests. 

You fiddle with the hem of Seokjin’s shirt, smirking when his focus is more on you now and you let your hands slowly drift over to the bulge in his sweats. You see his jaw clench and grin victoriously, knowing that you’re winning.

“It’s fine, Lisa. This was unexpected for all of us.” You rub more at the bulge and Seokjin swiftly gathers both your wrists in one hand and pins them to the pillow. “Look, I need to go. I gave you an option. You’re free to take it or leave it. We’ll let you know when it’s over.” He grits out, abruptly hanging up and tossing your phone with a loud clatter back onto the nightstand. His eyes are dark when he focuses back on you and he yanks you closer by the grip he still has on your wrists. “You are just an impatient little omega, aren’t you princess?”

You whimper, hips pressing against the pillow as you feel your mind go hazy. “Alpha…” You whine.

Seokjin smirks, watching the way your hips twitch against the pillow. His free hand settles on your hip and he starts to guide you in grinding against the pillow. “You’ve made quite the mess of your pillow, princess.” He muses. “But I think we can make it dirtier.”

Your whole body feels like it’s on fire at his words and you’re nodding helplessly at his words, eager for him to finally touch you. 

“I’m going to let your hands go, but you can only touch my thighs, got it?” He waits for your acknowledgment before continuing. “Good girl. I’d hate to have to punish you for disobeying.”

You flush at his praise. He releases your wrists, his other hand joins the first on your hips to better guide your grinding. You moan at the drag of your soaking panties against your clit. Your hands immediately find Seokjin’s thighs, fisting the fabric of his sweats to keep your hands from wandering like you so badly want them too, you want to feel more than just the shifting muscles of his thighs beneath your palms. 

“Alpha… Seokjin, please…” You move faster with Seokjin’s direction. 

Seokjin hums. “What, princess? What do you need?” He coos, giving your hips a squeeze.

You whine, trying to move faster to chase your high, but Seokjin’s grip keeps you going at the pace he wants you to go. “Wanna cum… Please… Let me…” Your head drops back as you pant. “Seokjin…”

“What a good girl you are, asking your alpha’s permission first. I didn’t even have to tell you.” You nod eagerly and Seokjin smiles. “You have been very good considering how long you had to wait.” His hands slip under your shirt and the contact with your skin makes you gasp. “You can cum, princess. But you can only use your pillow to get off.”

His hands slide up to your waist, relinquishing control of your pace back to you. You quickly pick up your pace once he lets you, moaning as you rock faster against your pillow. Seokjin’s hands slide further up, thumbs brushing the bottoms of your breasts. A few more rocks of your hips, the friction of your dampened panties against your clit, combined with Seokjin’s fingers digging into your skin has you, finally, tipping over the edge you’ve been on since you woke up. 

You shudder, gasping Seokjin’s name as your orgasm wracks your frame. You continue to give a few weak grinds as you ride it out until your body relaxes and you would collapse if not for Seokjin’s hands on your ribs holding you up. He chuckles at your sudden bonelessness, carefully shifting you to lay you down then tossing the soaked pillow from the bed. He turns back to you, smiling fondly as he strokes your cheek. 

“Feeling a little better?”

You sigh contentedly, mind feeling less hazy. “Very.” You lay there for a moment, eyes closed and enjoying the small reprieve you’ve gotten. Then you look up at him in alarm. “But wait, what about you?”

Seokjin laughs again, grabbing your hand when you reach out to touch his still very prominent erection. “Don’t worry about me. Trust me, I’ll be fine.”

You pout. “Who said I was worried for you in that scenario?”

Seokjin stretches out beside you, manhandling you around until he can pull you tightly back against him, dick settled firmly against your ass. “Since your sleep was interrupted, I’d highly suggest you get some sleep now while you still can princess. I’ll be here to take care of you when you wake up.” He pauses to give a hard grind against your ass. “And by then, the pill while have kicked in and I can fuck you like you want. Nice and hard, little omega, and fill you up nice and full like you need.”

You whine, slapping playfully at the arm he has wrapped around your waist. “You just said to get some sleep. You’re just going to get me all riled up again.”

Seokjin’s nose drags across your shoulder to your neck as he inhales deeply. “Sorry. You just smell so divine, princess.” His tongue touches your neck and you feel your arousal spark again. “I bet you taste even better than you smell.”

You groan, pushing your as back teasingly. “Seokjin, either let me sleep or fuck me.”

He blows out a frustrated breath. “I can’t fuck you yet. It hasn’t been long enough and it’s not safe.”

You give him a smug smirk over your shoulder. “Then let me sleep.”

He smothers a laugh in your shoulder before he’s standing and grabbing a blanket off the floor and covering you. You’re enveloped in the scent of him and the silk caresses your skin as the fabric settles against you. 

You look over the blanket then up to him. “This isn’t mine.”

“Very perceptive of you. It’s mine and it’s silk. The scent will help you sleep and the silk is because I know cotton gets itchy against your skin while your in heat. I’d change your sheets but you seem comfortable so that’ll have to do for now.” He picks up the glass from the nightstand. “Now get some sleep. I got here in a hurry and so your kitchen is a bit of a mess so I need to go prep that so that it’s easier for me to get to things I need.”

He runs a hand through your hair comfortingly once more before he’s turning and leaving the room. You listen to him move around for a few moments before your exhaustion creeps back in and you find yourself drifting off to sleep surrounded by Seokjin’s scent.

You wake up sometime later, you have no idea how long your body allowed you to rest but it seems intent on making up for the downtime if the fire currently in your veins is anything to go by. Your panties stick to you uncomfortably and you move to try to remove them but a firm weight is settled around your waist. Once you notice the weight, you realize that Seokjin came back at some point and got back into bed with you. You gasp, body burning impossibly hotter and you immediately push your ass back against him, filled with the need to feel him inside you. 

The arm around you tightens as a growl rumbles in his chest, vibrating against your back. You squirm at the sound, you’re fairly certain your eyes probably also flashed golden and you’re a little glad that they’re currently squeezed shut so that he couldn’t see, despite the fact that you’re also facing away. Some bratty part of you that’s struggling to remain doesn’t want him to know just how much he’s already affecting you, but logic is quickly failing you because if it was still functioning, you’d realize that he doesn’t need to see your eyes to know how you’re being affected. Slick drips from you and the tshirt you’re wearing suddenly feels stifling. As you try to fight the shirt off, your flipped onto your back and Seokjin is hovering above you, a sleepy smirk stretching his lips. 

“My, my. Someone’s being naughty, hm? You can’t even properly wake your alpha up? You’ll just grind against him while he sleeps?” 

He pins your arms when you try to reach out for him and you whine. He takes both wrists in one hand, leaving his other hand free to slip under your shirt. You gasp, pushing your body up into his touch and he chuckles, nudging your legs apart with his knee so he can settle between them. 

“Are you going to tell me what you want? Or do I need to punish you?” His voice is tinged with his alpha tone as his hand slides up and cups your breast. 

You blink a few times, trying to clear enough of the haze to respond. You swallow the sudden dryness in your throat. “Please, alpha…”

Seokjin chuckles and the sound makes you shiver. “Mmm, close, princess. Do you wanna try again?” You whine again, hips bucking up to try to get some friction and Seokjin tsks you. “Ah ah. None of that, omega.”

Your core clenches at the reprimand and you bite your lip on another whine. You take a deep breath, regretting it almost instantly when your met with the overwhelming scent of Seokjin’s own arousal. “Alpha, fuck me. Please, please, I need you, need your knot, please.”

Seokjin gives a pleased hum, squeezing your breast once before his hand is sliding down your body and cupping your pussy through your panties. “Much better, princess. Good girl.”

You warm at the praise, hips pressing your pussy further into his hand. He doesn’t pull away this time though, instead he tugs your panties to the side and slips two fingers inside. Your back bows and you instantly clench around him. 

“Please, please more, alpha, Seokjin. Please.” You roll your hips, fucking yourself on his fingers.

He slips another finger in and you moan. He pumps them faster, thrusting in counterpoint to the rolling of your hips. “I think I quite like seeing you so desperate to come, princess. First on your pillow, then on my fingers. Maybe I’ll give you my tongue next. Gotta make sure you’re nice and relaxed for my knot. How does that sound, princess? Want me to eat you out next? I bet you taste even better than you smell. And you smell absolutely intoxicating.”

He hooks his fingers and you gasp when their probing presses against your g-spot. You wriggle your wrists, wanting to touch him. “Seokjin, lemme touch you too, please.” You whine.

He chuckles, but releases your wrists and you bury your hands in his hair, yanking him in for a kiss. He makes a noise of surprise against your mouth, not expecting the touch you wanted to have been a kiss, before he’s kissing you back enthusiastically. His tongue runs along the seam of your lips and you happily open up for him. You groan at the taste of him, hips working faster as Seokjin rubs your clit with his thumb in time with the thrusts of his finger. 

You turn away from the kiss with a gasp and Seokjin uses the opportunity to trail his lips along your jaw and down your neck where he leaves a few nips, though you want far more than just nips on your throat. 

“Come on, princess. Cum for me.” He growls against your neck and it makes heat pool in your belly. 

Seokjin licks a stripe up your neck before biting and sucking a mark onto your neck and that finally pushes you over the edge and you cum with a cry, pussy clenching tightly around Seokjin’s fingers as he continues pumping. 

When the last of the shudders stop, he gingerly removes his fingers, bringing the glistening digits up to his mouth. His eyes darken at how wet they are before he pops them into his mouth and a sound somewhere between a moan and a growl rumbles in his chest. 

“Fuck, I was right. You taste divine.” He refocuses on you and his hands rub at your thighs. “Are you feeling okay, though? Do you need anything?”

You blink at his shift in demeanor, from domineering alpha to caretaker, thoughts now a little clearer thanks to the orgasm and you giggle. “I’d be better if I had your dick already.” You wink.

Seokjin’s eyes flash and he ducks down to kiss you senseless before sitting back with a smug smirk when you just stare at him speechless. His hands grasp the bottom of your shirt, pushing it slowly up your body and you lift your arms to help him tug it off. 

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” He murmurs, seemingly distracted by the newly exposed skin. 

He presses a gentle kiss to your lips, then he’s moving further down to dust kisses across your collarbone. A soft sigh leaves you as his plush lips leave a burning path down to your breasts. A hand comes up to palm one while his mouth envelopes your nipple. Fire floods your veins as your heat hits you fully again. You push your hips up but Seokjin is a step ahead and is pinning your hips to the bed before you can so much as raise them more than an inch. 

He lifts his head just enough to speak, breath blowing across your spit slick nipple. “Relax, princess. Your alpha will take care of you, don’t worry.” He soothes, thumbs stroking the skin of your hips. 

You chew your lip, body protesting the thought of waiting for what it needs. You give him a small nod and he coos praises against your skin as slowly works his way down your body until he’s settled between your legs, faced with your soaked panties. You’re torn between hiding from his gaze and shoving your pussy into his face but Seokjin saves you from having to choose by digging his fingers into your thighs and holding them open. 

He nips at your thigh, soothing the sting with his tongue and then he’s giving the same treatment to the other leg. When he’s satisfied with the blooming marks on your skin, he licks at your pussy through your panties, lips wrapping around your clit through the fabric and sucking. 

You swear, burying your hands in his hair and he chuckles. “You’ve absolutely ruined your panties, princess.”

You whine in embarrassment, tugging lightly at his hair. “Don’t tease.”

He chuckles, pressing his tongue teasingly against your clit. “But you look so pretty all flustered and desperate, princess.” He gives another lick. “And I like hearing you beg.”

“Seokjin, please. Please stop teasing. I want your mouth on me. Please, I’ll do anything.”

Seokjin glances up at you, eyebrow raised. “Anything, huh? That’s a dangerous promise, princess.” He glances back down at your panties and licks his lips. “But, you’re in luck. I’m feeling particularly generous right now.”

With that he tugs your panties down and tosses them off the bed. He groans at the sight of your bared pussy and you spread your legs further apart in a bid to entice him to give you what you want. His thumbs brush along your pussy lips before he’s grabbing handfuls of your thighs and pressing his tongue firmly against your clit. 

You chant out yes’s as his tongue traces around your clit, occasionally dipping down to your entrance before returning his attention to your clit. His fingers dig into your skin and you know there will be bruises in the shape of his fingers there later and you revel in that knowledge. Little growls and groans leave him as his mouth works against your pussy and the vibrations send pleasure shooting through you. 

Your hands tighten in his hair when he slips two fingers into you while his plush lips wrap around your clit. He sucks and you cry out, pleasure building so fast after your recent orgasm. 

“Come on princess, I can feel you clenching around my fingers already. Be a good omega and cum for me.” Seokjin murmurs against you before he’s back to sucking on your clit. 

You whimper and he crooks his fingers just right to rub at your sweet spot. He pumps his fingers faster then grazes your clit with his teeth and your orgasm rushes through you. You cry out his name as your release gushes around his fingers. His fingers slow as your moans quiet down until he withdraws them completely, letting his tongue take their place to clean up the mess you’ve made. 

You expect to feel some relief, but Seokjin’s tongue continuing to work has heat spreading through your limbs again and you suddenly don’t feel sated in the least. You feel frantic with need and you know the only thing that’ll make you feel better and so you give his hair a tug as you whine. “Seokjin… want your cock, please.”

He sits up, face shining, as his tongue darts out to lick his lips. He wipes the rest of your release from his face with the back of his hand. His hair is disheveled from your tugging and his lips are swollen and red. He looks unfairly debauched for the fact that he’s still fully dressed and you’ve come multiple times already. When he makes no moves to give you what you want, you decide to just take it. 

Before he can comprehend what’s happening, you’ve pushed him onto his back and planted yourself firmly in his lap. You groan when your pussy drags across the fabric still separating you from his cock. Seokjin halts you from moving further, fingers digging into your hips in warning. 

“Princess.” He growls out and your instincts have you going nearly boneless, baring your neck to him with the overwhelming need to submit. 

You’re flipped onto your back, smothered for a moment in Seokjin’s bulk and scent and you’re positive you could die happy under him. He rears back, nearly tearing his shirt in his haste to get it off of him and your eyes trace along the breadth of his shoulders to his thick neck and down to his chest. His skin is smooth and the muscles that ripple beneath as he moves to shuck his sweats off has you clenching. 

Then your eyes are drawn lower as Seokjin finally gets his sweats off and your mouth floods at the sight of his cock, hard and shiny with precum and so thick that you’re torn between wanting him to shove it down your throat or stuff your pussy so full that you can’t think. Seokjin catches your stare, chuckling as he reaches down to give himself a few pumps, thumb swiping across the plump, red head. 

“See something you like, princess?” He teases.

You tear your gaze from his cock to meet his eyes, nodding dumbly because you’ve been robbed of all words. He smiles, body blanketing you once again as he leans down to capture your lips, cock brushing your pussy as he holds himself above you. You whine, hips tilting to get more of his cock pressed against you. Seokjin groans, hips grinding lazily against your pussy, lips trailing to nip at your neck. 

“Alpha, please…” You pant, reaching up to dig your fingers into the meat of his shoulders. 

He nods against your neck, one hand leaving the bed to reach between the two of you and he positions himself at your entrance, pausing with the head pressed to your hole and pulls back to meet your eyes. “Are you sure?” He swallows and blinks a few times to clear some of the daze. “Once I start-” 

You cut him off, shifting just enough for him to slip an inch into you. You both moan and the stretch of just the head has your desperation rising, the overwhelming need to be mounted clawing at your insides. Seokjin must feel the same because he pauses for only a second longer before he’s slamming fully into you. You gasp, nails digging into his back as he immediately pulls back out just to thrust back in. He buries his face in your neck, breath puffing warm against your skin as he pants harshly with his rough pace. 

“Fuck you’re so wet, princess. You’re such a good girl, a good little omega.” 

You whine as the praises continue to flow from him and he grabs your hips to hitch them higher, manhandling you around into the position that he wants you in. The shift has him hitting you deeper, rubbing your walls in all the right ways and you’re already so close to coming again. Tears gather at the corner of yours eyes and you roll your hips as best you can with his thrusts to get some friction on your clit. 

Nails prick your skin and you gasp, staring slightly wide eyed as Seokjin pulls away from your neck with a devilish smirk. “Now now, princess. I’ve given you so much already, let your alpha has his turn.” He slows his pace and you pout but his smirk just grows. “Besides, I’d much rather you come on my knot.”

His next thrust has your pussy stretching further as his knot begins to form. Your breath hitches as the growing girth stretches your more. 

“Yes, yes, yes, please let me have your knot, please, please.” You beg, body feeling aflame at the promise of what you want most. 

“Yeah?” Seokjin growls, licking up your neck to nip your earlobe. “You want my knot that bad, baby? Want me to knot you and fill you nice and full of my come? Keep you all plugged up so you get pregnant? Fuck… You’d look so amazing all swollen and round with my pups.”

You nod along, words only fueling your desire more. He slams his hips against you one last time before his knot finally grows too large and he settles for grinding as the first pulses of his release fills you. 

“That’s it, baby. Fuck… You’re such a good girl. Taking my knot and cum so so well. Shit, gonna get you all nice and full of pups.” You moan and Seokjin slips one hand down to rub at your clit. “Such a good omega, so good for my pups.” He murmurs and a few circles of his thumb coupled with his knot and cum filling you so delightfully full has you clenching around him as your mouth drops open in a silent scream as you cum. Seokjin groans, lips finding yours for an uncoordinated kiss as you both ride out your orgasms together. 

Your brain finally feel clearer and you enjoy the quiet mingling sounds of both of your breathing. You bask in the blissful feeling of being full and after what feels like hours, but is nothing more than a few minutes, Seokjin is sliding an arm beneath your back, keeping you close as he carefully maneuvers you both so that he’s now on his back and you can curl up on his chest while you wait for his knot to go down. You hum in contentment when his fingers thread through your hair, massaging your scalp. 

“Sleep.” He murmurs, chest vibrating against your cheek and you rub your face against his chest in a sleepy nod, following his advice and your own body’s sudden exhaustion. 

You wake up later, alone in bed, stretching and the delightful soreness has a small smile gracing your lips before you realize that the cause of that soreness is nowhere to be seen. You finally sit up, belatedly realizing that that sticky mess you were expecting is definitely not there. And now that you’re more awake and looking around, you notice that you’re sleeping on different sheets, ones that are definitely not yours. 

You’re about to climb out of bed when you hear footsteps padding down the hall towards your room and a moment later, Seokjin, now back in his boxers, is nudging open the door, carrying a plate of something you can’t quite make out and a glass of water that upon seeing makes you realize how dry your throat feels. You make grabby hands for it immediately and Seokjin blinks in surprise for a second at seeing you awake before he’s chuckling and coming closer, handing you the water once he’s close enough. 

You start guzzling the water, the coolness soothing the roughness you were feeling in your throat. Seokjin tuts, pointedly looking at the glass and how quickly you’re consuming it and you sheepishly slow your swallows. He gently pulls the glass away before you can finish and you pout. He chuckles, setting it and the plate on the nightstand before taking a seat on the bed with his back against the headboard. He gathers you up, situating you in his lap until he’s happy with how you’re sat. 

He grabs the plate and you notice it’s full of fruits and cheeses, all of them your favorites, much to your delight. Your stomach grumbles and Seokjin reaches for one of the slices, holding it to your lips for you to take. You hum happily as the flavor of the fruit mixes perfectly with a taste that you can’t put a name to, just that it’s all Seokjin. 

After a few minutes of silent feeding, Seokjin gives you your water back to finish. You hand the glass back once you’re done, cuddling back into his chest with the intent to nap a little more. 

He nudges you when your eyes start to slip closed, holding another piece of fruit up for you to take. “Eat a little more first, princess. It’s only the first day, who knows when you’ll have another long lull. Best to fill up now. At least so I don’t have to fight you as much later.”

You duck your head in embarrassment, opening your mouth obediently when he presses the fruit to your lips. You try not to think about the fight he’s gonna have to put up with when your heat really kicks in and you don’t want to do anything but sit on his dick. You’re glad the worst of your heat is always fuzzy and you hopefully won’t have to remember the worst of it. 

He feeds you a few more bites before he deems you full enough, then he’s rearranging you both so you’re laying down and he pulls your back flush against his front. His lips press gently to your shoulder. “Sleep now.”

And you don’t have to be told twice before your eyes are drifting shut. 

When you wake up again, you blearily notice that at some point you both have shifted positions. Seokjin’s now on his back and you’re curled into his side, one leg thrown over his and your dripping core pressed to his thigh, soaking his boxers. You grind your hips forward, moaning at the drag of the fabric against your sensitive pussy. 

Seokjin mutters something, shifting slightly, but remains asleep as you rut against him. You bury your face in his chest, taking a deep inhale of his scent before lazily mouthing across his collarbone to his neck. The fire in your belly intensifies and you scramble to climb fully on top of Seokjin, pushing his boxers down just enough to get to his cock and you’re delighted to find that he’s already hard. You wrap a hand around it, giving him a few strokes before positioning it and fully sheathing it within you. 

Seokjin starts awake with a gasp, hands finding your waist immediately even though he doesn’t seem to fully realize what’s happening yet. His eyes fall to you, more precisely where you’re already bouncing on his cock, not even seeming to mind that he’s not fully awake. His grip on you tightens in an effort to pause your riding but you just switch to grinding when he restricts your movements. 

He chuckles. “Fuck, couldn’t even wake me up, princess? Such a needy little omega that you’re just going to take what you need, hm? Not even gonna wake your alpha up to help you?”

You whine, continuing to rock against him. His words fuel your movements, but the meaning to them is lost in the haze. Seokjin chuckles when you ignore him and the sudden loss of his hands has you faltering. You glance at him finally, finding him laying there with his arms tucked under his head, looking the perfect picture of relaxation. When he sees your attention on him, he glances pointedly back to where you’re joined.

“Oh, please. Don’t let me interrupt. Feel free to continue what you were doing. I was just getting comfortable.”

Your protest is on the tip of your tongue, you want to whine about how you want his hands on you but his cock twitches where its buried in you and you lift yourself up just to drop back down on him, head thrown back as you begin to ride him in earnest. Seokjin, to his credit, seems to struggle with his self imposed promise of just sitting back and letting you work if the way his biceps flex is anything to go by. But he stays still, much to your frustration as you continue. 

You quickly grow frustrated though, slamming your hips down one last time before you dig your fingers into his chest and whine. “Alpha, please…”

He grins up at you. “What is it, princess? I thought you didn’t need me.”

You whine again, grinding against him, but shaking your head. “No, no. Need you. Please, Seokjin.”

He chuckles, but to your delight he moves his arms from behind his head and his hands rest warm and heavy against your thighs. “What do you need, princess?” When you don’t respond right away, he gives your thighs a small squeeze. “Tell me what you need. I can’t help my omega if she doesn’t tell me what she needs.”

You shudder, trying to find the words to speak what you need through the fog blanketing your mind. “Knot… Need your knot, please. Please, want it, Seokjin.”

“Yeah? You need it, princess?” He coos.

You nod enthusiastically, gasping when he shifts his legs to get leverage so that he can thrust up into you, his hands on your waist holding you in place. “Yes, yes yes, please, please please. Alpha…”

You feel his knot starting to grow, catching your rim with every thrust and the feeling makes your toes curl. Seokjin’s fingers tighten and he gets a handful more thrusts in before his knot is too large to pull out. You groan and his hands shift to your hips to guide them in grinding on his knot as he did before with your pillow, praises flowing from his lips. When you finally start grinding without his guidance, his lets his hands slide up your body, palming your breasts and rolling your nipples between his fingers. 

“Cum for me baby. Cum on my knot, show me how badly you want my cum and pups.” He growls, pinching your nipples harder. 

A few swivels of your hips has you moaning his name as you cum, pussying squeezing him tight as he pumps you full.

You get flashes of moments over the next few days. You know at one point, Seokjin has to resort to feeding you while you’re knotted because you refuse to not be filled. And even then he still struggles to get you to actually eat the food rather than just sucking on his fingers. Another time you corner him in the kitchen while he’s getting you water. Pawing at his cock and whining when he snatches up both your wrists in one of his hands. Which means your next most logical thought is to drop to your knees and mouth at his cock instead. You get your mouth around him, gag reflex diminished thanks to your heat and you suck on his cock until he starts to shallowing thrust into your mouth. Then his hand tightens around your wrists and you’re being yanked to your feet and bent over the kitchen table. He fucks you hard and fast, hand coming down to quick swats on your ass as he talks about how you’re being awfully naughty. You cry when he knots you that time, Seokjin shushing you, cooing at you and telling you that if you drink your water then he’ll forgive you and you’ll be his good girl again. You’ve never drank a glass of water quicker. 

He tries to get you to shower but your legs don’t want to cooperate for that, and a little part of you wants to be bratty again, so he sighs and draws a bath. Which you make him join you in and results in something soft, that if you were in a different state of mind would probably make your heart ache with how sweet and caring and gentle he was being. Although it ends with water sloshed all over the floor and were you not in heat, you’d feel really bad for the messes he’s been cleaning up. 

Your heat is blessedly shorter than usual with the addition of a partner. Rather than spending a whole week being miserable and horny, it finishes after just 4 and a half days and you wake up feeling far more refreshed than you usually do after your heats. You notice the bed is empty beside you and that your room has been tidied up. Your gut churns with disappointment, tempted to bury your face into the pillow Seokjin had been using just to get another whiff of his scent, but soft singing coming from the kitchen draws your attention.

You slip out of bed, taking a moment to stretch your sore limbs. You foot catches something as you go to step away and you stoop down to examine it. The tshirt is wholly unfamiliar to you and when you hold it up to your nose, humming in content when you realize it’s Seokjin’s and he must have missed it when he was cleaning. You debate for a moment on returning it to him but something in you protests the thought and you tug it on instead and you decide that you’re just going to chalk the feeling up to residual hormones from your heat. You stand and make your way to the kitchen, leaning in the doorway and watching quietly as Seokjin cooks, still singing softly to himself. 

A few minutes pass like this before he speaks. “You just gonna keep creeping in the doorway or come in for breakfast?” He glances back at you to wink before turning back to the pan in front of him. 

You chuckle, moving to the cabinets to gather what you need to set the table. “Maybe I wanted to enjoy the show.” You say as you take a seat at your kitchen table, propping up your chin on your hand to return to watching him.

Seokjin turns, sliding a few pieces of french toast onto a platter that from the glimpse you get is already piled high with it. He brings the plate to the table before going back to the fridge and grabbing a big bowl of fresh cut fruit and a bottle of juice. You look from the literal pile of food to Seokjin with wide eyes. 

“Did I miss something? Are you feeding an army?”

He chuckles, grabbing a few slices of french toast and a couple spoonfuls of fruit, plucking a piece of melon from his plate to eat before finally answering. “No. But this is your first real meal in a few days. Once you start eating you’ll realize just how hungry you are.” 

You pout and want to argue, but the smell of the food is too enticing and so instead you grab some food and start eating, choosing to very pointedly ignore the fact that after the first bite you feel like you could probably eat all the food on the table plus find something to snack on in the fridge. You both eat in silence and you can’t quite tell if it’s a comfortable one or an awkward one. On the one hand, Seokjin’s presence is calming and you feel more relaxed than you have in a long time. But at the same time, you want to speak, but you have to idea what you can talk about with the guy who paid a crazy amount of money to sleep with you during your heat and whose cock you were literally begging for just a few hours ago. And you realize that you don’t even know if he wants to talk about anything. For all you know, this is just lingering alpha protectiveness and once breakfast is over, he’ll gather his things and leave. 

“Not good?” His voice drags you from your musing and you’re quick to shake your head, stuffing another bite into your mouth. 

“No, no. It’s amazing. Just still a little sleepy, I guess.” You half lie.

He watches you for a moment with pursed lips before giving a small nod and going back to his own food. You eat a little faster, deciding that once your finished and clean everything up that you’ll test the waters and see if he maybe wants to stay a little longer and watch a movie. It’s innocuous enough, you can always play it off as just a precaution to make sure your heat is really over. That it has nothing to do with the fact that you really don’t want him to leave. 

With your food finished, you gather up the dishes to take to the sink, beginning to clean up and Seokjin comes over to join, taking the dish towel to begin drying the dishes as you clean and then putting them away. The two of you work in silence, finishing the dishes in no time.

When you finish, Seokjin hands you the towel so you can dry your hands and you both stand in silence, this time it’s definitely awkward. You’re just working up the courage to ask if he’d like to stay, maybe watch a movie or something when he beats you in speaking.

“Well… I guess I should probably get going. I’m sure Lisa would like her own place back.” He rubs at the back of his neck, avoiding your eyes as he speaks and you try really hard not to read into the fact that he won’t look at you now. 

You frown, quickly hiding your disappointment when he glances at you. You give a small nod. “Right, sure of course. I’m sure you’ve got work and stuff too. Company won’t run itself, huh?” You weakly joke.

He chuckles, nodding as he makes his way to the door where you notice his bags are sitting, already packed. You feel a twinge in your chest as you watch him pick them up and slide his shoes on. He turns and hesitates for a second before giving a small smile.

“I hope I gave you a good experience for your first partnered heat.” You give a little nod and his smile grows. He gives a little wave. “It’s been a pleasure, Y/n.”

With that, he’s out the door and you let your smile drop. You sigh, feeling oddly empty with him out of the apartment now. Shaking the thoughts from your head, you move to the windows to open them to start airing the apartment out for Lisa’s return, lighting a couple of candles around the room as well. You enter your bedroom, expecting to have a mess to clean up but Seokjin seems to have thought of everything already, your room clean and tidy and the windows already cracked. You sit on your bed, wondering if it’s always this way after heats, if the sudden loneliness is usual of arrangements like this or if maybe it’s just cause it’s your first time having an alpha during heat. Maybe the attachment you felt is normal and so the way you feel abandoned is too and will pass in a day. At least that’s what you try to reason to yourself as you think about how maybe you should have insisted that Seokjin stay just a little longer. 

You take a deep breath, Seokjin’s scent drifting off the shirt you’re still wearing and it has a weirdly soothing effect on you, calms your thoughts even as they swirl with doubt. You crawl up the bed, tugging the pillow he used over and bury your face in it. Letting his scent lull you to sleep because you know once Lisa gets home that all of your friends are going to flock over to question how it went. 

The week crawls by slowly, classes don’t help either since it’s still early in the semester and so the work load hasn’t particularly picked up yet. You find yourself having an increasingly difficult time sleeping, the only thing that you’ve found that helps is cuddling the pillow that is slowly losing Seokjin’s scent. And you really try not to think about any implications from that. In the last two days you’ve also gotten a headache that refuses to leave no matter what you take and has begun to get worse with time. 

Which is making the attempt to power through movie night incredibly difficult. Even with the lights off, the flashes from the screen cause searing pain and of course it had to be Jungkook’s turn to choose and he of course choose a Marvel movie, full of flashing and loud noises. And since everyone’s seen it already, everyone has made it time to talk and joke around. 

A particularly loud explosion has you squeezing your eyes shut and clenching your teeth. You’re so caught up in willing the pain to stop that you fail to notice the whimper that escapes you or the fact that the room goes dead silent after. A few moments pass before you realize there’s no sound and you squint an eye open to notice that everyone is staring at you with concern, the movie paused in the background. 

Jimin is closest and slides closer instantly, gently setting his hands on you, checking for anything that could’ve caused the noise of distress. Lisa slides closer too from her position on the floor, wrapping her hand around your ankle and you feel a little of the tension and pain bleed away.

Jimin frowns when his preliminary check turns up nothing obvious to have caused a problem. “What’s wrong?” He whispers, seeming to at least gauge that sound is hurting you.

You weakly wave him away. “Just a headache. I’m fine.”

“Again?” Jisoo chimes in from the other end of the couch and Jimin’s frown deepens, as he glances from Jisoo back to you. 

“How long have you had a headache? Do you need something?”

You give a small shake of your head. “It won’t work, it’s fine. It’s just been a couple days. It’s probably just stress. I’ll be fine.” You want him to stop, you don’t want him to probe further, to try to get to the root of the problem. You hope he leaves it at that, believes it’s just stress.

Jimin purses his lips, watching you for a moment before he’s gently tilting your head to get a better look at your face. “You haven’t been sleeping. And you’re losing color.”

You pout at him. “You make it sound like I look like shit.” You attempt to joke, anything to distract him.

Jimin ignores your comment. “How long have you felt like this? Are there any other symptoms that you’re not telling us?”

You squirm uncomfortably under the scrutiny and look down at your lap as you mutter the answers to his questions because you know if you don’t answer then he’ll just keep pressing. “Since last week. It was just hard to sleep at first. Then I was just exhausted all the time like I’d been awake for a long time while doing a lot of hard work. The headaches started a couple days ago.”

Jimin mulls that over. “Before or after your heat?”

You flush, you wish everyone wasn’t around right now. You want to go seek comfort in Seokjin’s shirt and pillow. “After.”

“After Seokjin left?” He clarifies.

He prods you when you don’t respond right away, something uncomfortable churns in your gut at the direction this is going. “Yes. After he left.”

Jimin is ominously quiet and when you glance up, you see him sharing a worried look with Lisa, who shifts closer to rest her cheek on your thigh as Jimin takes hold of your head. “It sounds like you’ve got bond sickness.”

A hysterical laugh bubbles out of you, your mind violently rejecting that idea. “That’s not possible. I don’t have anyone to be bonded with.”

Lisa gives you a reassuring squeeze. “Bond sickness happens when you spend your heat or rut with your mate but don’t complete the bond.”

“If Seokjin was my mate, I think I’d know. And he would too. He wouldn’t have left afterwards.” You hate how pitiful you sound. “This was just some fun for him. It’s not bond sickness.” You try to reason, glancing around the room at your friends who all have varying degrees of pity on their face and you wish even more that he hadn’t done this in front of everyone. Everything feels like it’s too much. You turn back to Jimin, feeling tears beginning to well in your eyes. “It can’t be bond sickness.” It comes out soft, almost in audible. Your hand tightens around Jimin’s. “It can’t be… b-because if it is… Then- then that means I’m not Seokjin’s mate but he’s mine.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, Lisa’s up off the floor and pulling you into a hug as the tears finally spill over. The rest of your friends move too, crowding around to lend you what comfort they can. 

Seokjin’s glaring at his computer screen, again because that’s all he feels like he can do to the stupid device lately. It refuses to function the way he wants it to. Most of his work has been picked up by others since he’s been back and he drums in fingers against his desk in irritation at the fact that people seem to think he can’t take care of his own company. Agitatedly, he clicks out of his calendar, that sits empty and he knows that it’s wrong but he can’t figure out why it won’t update to say he has something to do today. A soft knock pulls him from his thoughts and he looks up to see Namjoon slip in. He sniffs and turns back to the screen.

“What.” He says shortly.

“I wanted to see how you’re doing.” Namjoon says placidly, completely unphased by Seokjin’s mood and takes a seat across from Seokjin.

Seokjin snorts. “I’m just fine, Namjoon.”

Namjoon raises his eyebrows at his tone as if to emphasize how not true that statement is. Seokjin chooses to ignore him, opening his email to at least appear that he has some work to do, even though his inbox sits woefully empty. “You can’t even look at me. And you never call me Namjoon. Seokjin, I love you man, but what’s going on? You know you can talk to me, talk to any of us.”

Seokjin mulls that over for a minute. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and scrubbing his hands over his face, he feels tired, just so tired. He has no idea what the hell is going on with him. When he pulls them away, Namjoon notices too just have tired he looks. “I don’t know, Joon.” He says, so quietly that Namjoon almost misses it. “I don’t know and that terrifies me.”

“Okay, that’s fine. We’ll talk it out and we’ll get this figured out. We’re here for you, Jin.” Seokjin crosses his arms and sits back, waiting for Namjoon to start. “Well, you’ve become increasingly aggressive and irritable since you’ve been back. You snapped at Hobi in a way that hasn’t happened since college and you were both trying to date the same person and your alpha’s both got a little too possessive. You can’t seem to focus on anything and you’ve obviously not been getting much sleep.” He pauses thoughtfully. “Is there anything else we haven’t seen that’s been happening?”

Seokjin rubs idly at his chest before looking down at where his hand sits. He taps it once. “My chest aches. Like… something’s hooked through it and tugging. It just… it aches.” He finishes lamely.

Namjoon nods and mulls everything over for a few moments. “I don’t know if this would be something you want to hear, but it sounds like you’ve got bond sickness.”

Seokjin rolls his eyes, feeling irritation prickle his skin. They all joke with each other, but he didn’t think Namjoon would ever be one for such a cruel joke. “Yeah, Joon, that’s what it is. It’s been 2 weeks. It’s not bond sickness. Good joke, man.”

Namjoon looks unimpressed with his response, stares Seokjin dead in the eyes as he snaps at him. “Kim Seokjin, there is no way you are actually this dense of an alpha.” Seokjin’s eyes widen at Namjoon’s tone. “You’ve been this way since you got back from spending her heat with her. Not only that, but you spent an inordinate amount of money just to make sure no one else could touch her. Which, you’ve also mentioned, you only did after catching her scent at a coffee shop you both happened to be at. You’re a smart man Jin. Put it the fuck together.” Seokjin opens his mouth to respond, anger mounting at Namjoon’s accusations, but Namjoon stands and effectively cuts him off, placing his hands on the edge of the desk and leaning into Seokjin’s face. “Because just think about this, if you’ve been feeling the bond sickness, then do you know who else is? Y/n. And while alphas get irritable and angry with bond sickness, do you know how it turns out for omegas? They get sick.” He pauses before continuing, tone soft and serious. “Then they get really sick.”

Namjoon straightens and turns, pausing at the door. “Fix your shit, Seokjin. Don’t bother coming back to work until you do.” 

“Lisa, please go to class.” You whine, trying to shoo her fretting hands away from you. Ever since the revelation of what was wrong, she’s been practically suffocating you with attention, you think that she thinks if she just gives you enough alpha attention that it’ll help you get better. You don’t have the heart to tell her that that’s not really how bond sickness works. Plus, when she’s not being completely overbearing, the extra companionship from her is nice. 

She frowns, taking in your huddled form on the couch. “You’ve been getting worse. I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“I’ll be fine. Jungkook said he’d be over soon. You’re going to be late.”

Lisa adjusts your blanket one last time, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Fine. But you message if you need anything at all, got it.”

“Yes, mother.” 

She makes a face at you and you give a weak laugh, knowing how much she hates when you say things like that. Her face softens a little as you shudder and adjust your blanket around you. 

“You’re gonna be late. Go. I’ll be fine.” You pout, looking up at her with puppy dog eyes, trying to get her to go. At least one person in this apartment should be regularly attending classes. You are grateful that Jimin went to the health office to talk to them about what’s happening and managed to get you excused for a little while from having to attend classes. On top of that, after emailing your professors, Taehyung’s been stopping by their offices to pick up or deliver some of the work you manage to get finished.

She huffs. “Alright, alright. Fine. But if Jungkook is even a minute late, you tell me and I will be right back.”

You roll your eyes. “I actually feel sorry for whoever your mate is.”

Lisa pauses in gathering her things to glare at you and you grin back. Lisa’s mate is going to be the most spoiled being on the planet. Lisa slings her bag over her shoulder, coming back over to you to press a kiss to your forehead. 

“I love you. I’ll be back later. Try not to traumatize poor Jungkookie.”

You wave her away, finally turning your attention back to the TV now that Lisa is done with her fretting. You hunker further into your blanket as Lisa finally leaves. You doze off for a while, the tv show you put on doing little to keep your interest when you feel so terrible. And without Lisa here, you don’t have to keep the front up that you feel better than you actually do. You know the sickness will fade and you’ll eventually be fine, if a little dead inside, but that doesn’t stop you from wanting to keep your friends from worrying more about you than they already are. You just wish that you could get to that point. You hate that your friends have to care for you like this, it makes you feel too fragile, like how omega’s use to be viewed. Poor pitiful things that weren’t allowed to do much more than have an alpha’s pups and care for them.

You’re roused from your daze by the door opening and closing and Jungkook’s warm, earthy scent washes over you. You hum in content and he rounds the couch with a grin as he lifts a bag up for you to see. 

“I brought soup.” 

You chuckle. “Thank you Kookie. Lisa made me eat before she left though, so you can put it in the kitchen for now and we can eat it later.”

He nods, taking it and your nearly empty glass from the table to the kitchen. He returns a few moments later with your cup, now refilled, and places it back on the coffee table. He plops down onto the couch next to you, slipping his arms around you to pull you closer to cuddle. You hum in contentment at his warmth, feeling the worst of your fog lift from the closeness.

“What’re we watching?” He murmurs.

You lift a shoulder in half a shrug. “Dunno. Lisa put it on. I’ve been too sleepy to really pay attention. You can put something else on if you want.”

Jungkook shifts, reaching for the remote and starts idly flipping through the channels to find something to watch and you feel your eyes getting heavy again as you listen to his heart beat. Jungkook’s perusing is interrupted by the frantic pounding from someone at your door. He frowns, glancing from the direction of the door to you. 

“Are you expecting anyone?” When you shake your head, Jungkook adjusts you so he can get up. “I’ll be right back then.”

As he makes his way to the door, the knocking starts again and you frown, wondering who could be so insistent. Your friends are all at work or in class, with the exception of Jungkook who’s on babysitting duty. And you and Lisa rarely get unannounced visitors. It’s silent for a moment when Jungkook opens the door and it makes you worry enough to push yourself to your knees to glance over the back of the couch. 

You’re about to call out to Jungkook, ask him what’s going on when Seokjin frantically rounds the corner and you feel like all your breath has been knocked out of you. Seokjin freezes when he sees you, his mouth dropping open, you don’t know if it’s from shock at how you look or if he also feels like all the air in the room has been sucked out. You vaguely register a door closing somewhere, you assume Jungkook must be leaving, but your focus is so taken by Seokjin that the building could fall around you and you wouldn’t notice. 

You take a shuddering breath in and you’re overwhelmed with the scent of Seokjin, potent and real and the lingering scent left on his shirt is nothing compared to the richness of it as it fills the room. You choke on a sob and Seokjin is suddenly moving, crossing the distance between the two of you and enveloping you in a nearly crushing hug, but you can’t find it inside yourself to care how tightly he squeezes. You bury your face in his chest as tears leak from your eyes, feeling lighter and happier than you have in nearly 3 weeks. You hear Seokjin murmuring into your hair where his face is pressed against, but your body is buzzing too much for you to hear what the words are, only able to focus on how comforting the words feel on your frayed mind.

You don’t know how long the two of you stay like that, but eventually Seokjin pulls away. When you make a distressed sound, he strokes your cheek to sooth you.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere. I just need to see your face.” With that, he finally sits fully on the couch, pulling you into his lap. His hands come up to cup your cheeks, holding you in place as his gaze flits across your face for a few moments, like he’s trying to memorize everything. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, princess.” He coos, pulling your face closer to pepper it with kisses. 

You squeeze you eyes shut, willing yourself to stop crying, but your nerves have been so fried lately that you’re completely convinced that you’ll never stop crying. Seokjin continues to murmur to you, though the words themselves have lost all meaning and you just let the cadance and sound of his voice work as the balm your soul has needed these past few weeks. He pulls you back in and you bury your face back into neck to take in his scent, a small part of you fearful that you may never get to again. 

Eventually, he adjusts your position, drawing your attention to the fact that when you look up, he’s saying your name with an incredibly fond smile.

“What?” You croak.

He chuckles and presses a kiss, two kisses to your cheek before responding. “I’ve been saying your name for a few minutes. You back with me, love?”

Your whole body heats at pet name. “You have?” You question, you can’t tell if he’s teasing or being serious. 

He gives a little nod. “It’s okay. You seemed like you were enjoying yourself so I’m not too upset.” 

The teasing tilt of his lips speaks of so much fondness, you can’t help it when you lean forward to steal a kiss of your own from him. “What were you saying my name for?” You murmur, reluctant to pull back from the kiss. 

“I like saying it. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.” He grins.

You nudge him playfully, cheeks heating from a mixture of embarrassment and pleased happiness. “Stop that. That’s gross. What did you want?”

He tightens his arms around you briefly. “We should talk. There’s… kind of a lot that we need to go over huh?”

You sober slightly, but the thought of not touching Seokjin makes you feel physically ill again. You shift, keeping your legs throw over his and both hands wrapped in his. By the look on Seokjin’s face, this seems to be the furthest he’s willing to let you get from himself, not that you’d let yourself get much further from him anyway. 

“We should.” You agree, nerves on edge. You assume, hope, that since he’s here, that he won’t let go of you, that this is meant to be a good talk. That it’ll end the way you want, that you both hopefully want. 

“So… We’re mates.” He begins, stops, seems unsure of what else to go on, but your heart soars at him calling you mates. He seems a little uncomfortable and you find it incredibly endearing that a big powerful alpha and CEO can’t seem to get his feelings out to his mate. You decide to let him suffer a little longer with his stuttering before granting him mercy and taking over the conversation.

“We are. If you want to be. I… certainly wouldn’t be opposed to it.” You give him a shy smile.

Seokjin seems a little blindsided, but he quickly gets past it and his face lights up in a brilliant smile. “Of course. I can’t think of a more perfect girlfriend than you.”

You raise an eyebrow and you can’t help teasing him a little. “Girlfriend, huh?” Seokjin sputters, trying to come up with something but you laugh, putting a hand over his mouth. “I’m teasing. But I’m not going to be your girlfriend unless you ask me properly.”

He pulls you close again, lips barely brushing yours. “Will you,” He pauses, kisses you. “Be my girlfriend?” He finishes, lips still against yours.

You let out a giddy giggle. “Yes, of course, you silly alpha. My silly alpha.”

His thumbs run over your cheeks. “I’m sorry I let you get so sick. I should’ve realized. I shouldn’t have left. I’m so sorry.”

You shush him, putting your hands over his. “Hey, no. It’s just as much my fault as yours. Don’t blame yourself. You couldn’t have known. They were such strange circumstances. It’s okay. I don’t blame you Seokjin.”

He gives you a small grateful smile, like it’s something that’s been truly weighing on him before he seems to realize something and groans, head thumping back against the couch. You’re about to ask what’s wrong when he speaks. “Oh no, this means I just paid nearly a million dollars for a girlfriend. The guys are never going to let this go.” 

You smother your laughter, tapping his nose to get his attention. “Well actually, you paid that much for your mate.” You give a mischievous wink to him. “But I’m sure you can convince her to share all that wealth with you again. Minus whatever she needs for school.”

His eyes darken. “Oh? Do you think she’d be that generous to give some back?”

You nod, tapping your chin thoughtfully. “Of course, if she has you now then she doesn’t really need that much money.”

Seokjin hums and it sends a shiver down your spine. He leans closer and you feel like you’re prey, you feel exhilarated. “And just what do you think I could do to convince her to do something like that, hm?” He purrs in your ear, finishing with a nip to your earlobe. 

You shudder, biting back a moan. “Oh, I’m sure a smart man like you will think of something.” You laugh as you push yourself off his lap and make a dash for your room.

He lets out a noise of surprise before you hear the sound of pursuit and just as you reach your bedroom door, you’re scooped up by him and turned so he can pin your back to the wall. He grabs your thighs to force your legs around his waist and you delight in the press of his cock against you, even with all the layers separating it from where you want him most. You moan, head thumping back against the wall.

“Now now, princess. It’s not very nice to run away from your alpha now is it?” He chastises, breath warm against your neck.

You swallow, squirming to get a little friction and relief, but he pressed his hips more firmly against you, halting your movement. You whine, low and needy. Seokjin nips your neck.

“I believe I asked you something princess. It’s not nice to run away is it?” You shake your head and he nips you again. “Use your words like a good girl.”

“No, it’s not nice, alpha.” 

He licks up your neck, nips your jaw, presses a quick kiss to your lips. “Good girl.”

You try to squirm again, whining. “Alpha, please. Need you. Missed you, Seokjin.” He rubs your sides comfortingly. “It’s okay princess, I’ll take care of you. Always.”

He pulls his hips away just enough to slip his hands into your shorts, fingers finding your dripping slit. He groans, lips finding yours as he slips two fingers into you. He pumps them a few times before you quickly grow restless, turning away just enough to speak.

“Not enough. Need your cock, please.”

He chuckles at your neediness and how much it mirrors his own and aquiesses easily enough to your request because he doesn’t think he could prolong this that much anyway. He pulls his fingers free, undoes his pants just enough to pull his dick out and then tugs your shorts and underwear to the side just enough to slip in. He slides in to the hilt and pauses there, panting. 

“God you really were made for me.” He groans. “Fuck, I’m never letting you go again.”

You nod happily. “Yes, yes. Please move.”

He complies, starting a fast pace that leaves you feeling like this is your first time all over again with how overwhelming it is. You’re already remarkably close to cumming despite the fact that not much has been done and you have an inkling on what exactly will tip you over. You let your head drop to the side.

“Jinnie. Seokjin,” You wait till you have his attention. “Alpha claim me.”

His eyes flash and there’s no hesitation as he dips his head down to pepper your neck with kisses. A moment later, you feel teeth and then the wetness of blood as he pierces skin. You gasp, back bowing as everything becomes more intense and the feeling of Seokjin’s tongue as he cleans the blood from your claiming mark is the last little push you need to push you over the edge. 

You shudder, moaning his name and fingers gripping his shirt tight enough that you feel it rip. Seokjin slows his thrusting to let you ride out your orgasm and once he senses that your not too sensitive, he resumes his fast pace, chancing his own high. You feel exhausted but the unmarked skin of his neck is like a magnet and you gather what strength you’ve got left to sink your teeth into his skin to leave your own claiming mark. 

Seokjin growls at this, getting a couple last rough thrusts before he cums, shuddering under your hands as you lick the blood from his neck and a moment later you feel his knot. Your head drops back against the wall and you groan weakly, hips rocking slightly as you stare dazedly at the way your mark stands out against Seokjin’s skin, feeling whole and content. His head rests against your shoulder, breath puffing against your collarbone as he struggles to catch his breath.

Your blissful bubble is burst a few minutes later when you hear the front door open. “Y/n!” Lisa calls and she sounds distracted, Jungkook must not have informed her that Seokjin came by. Your mind is lagging too much to connect that this is about to be bad if you don’t respond. “I know you told me to go to class and I did… Well one class. But I was worried, and nothing against Jungkook, but I’d just feel better if I were the one watching-” She cuts off abruptly as you hear something drop to the ground. “Jesus fucking Christ!” You glance over, body flushing in embarrassment at not even having been able to make it to your room. Lisa has her hands over her eyes and body turned away, backpack lying on the ground at her feet. “Really! You couldn’t have like, I don’t know, fucking warned me? Jesus, gross. I think I’m scarred for life now.” There’s a heavy pause before Lisa snatches her phone out of her pocket and storms off. “I’m going to fucking kill Jungkook. The little fucker could’ve texted me. He’s so dead.”

Seokjin’s shoulders shake beneath your hands and you look back to him to see him struggling to hold back laughter. You bite your lip, his laughter making you want to laugh. You poke him. “Shh, Lisa will kill you.” You whisper, little snickers escaping as you.

He looks up at you, eyes sparkling with joy. You can’t resist the urge to lean down and peck him on the lips. He grins before he adjusts his grip on you and moves you both carefully to your room.

“We’ll text you when we’re decent and it’s safe to come back Lis!” You call as Seokjin giggles.

“Pass! Think I’m just going to move out! It’s not safe here anymore!” You hear her call back a second before you hear the front door slam. 

You and Seokjin both finally dissolve into laughter as he closes the bedroom door. He sits gently on the edge of your bed and gives you an apologetic smile when you squirm slightly in his lap.

“Sorry about knotting you. I… I couldn’t really stop it after you bit me.”

You run your hands through his hair affectionately. “It’s more than ok, babe.”

His eyes flutter closed, leaning into your touch as he hums. “Careful princess, or it’ll happen again.”

You grin, grip tightening slightly. “I certainly hope it happens a whole lot more, boyfriend.” You tease. 

~8 Months Later~

You shrug the black robe on over your dress, adjusting it so it lays properly. The dress is new and you’re excited for Seokjin to see it, you refused to let him come with you to get, instead choosing to make the shopping trip a girls day with Lisa and the others. You stare at yourself in the mirror for a moment before there’s a knock and then Lisa’s opening the door, her own robe on. She grins as she lifts her cap. 

“You ready?”

You grin back, excited that the year is over and even more excited for what’s to come. You grab your own cap off the dresser and follow her out to put your shoes on. 

“Is Seokjin meeting us beforehand?” She questions, straightening up.

“No, he said that he’d meet us after the ceremony. He knows how hectic it is beforehand and said that we could have the time to just ourselves.”

She nods and you leave, joining your fellow students headed to graduation. 

“Y/n!” You turn just as Jimin’s arms wrap around your middle and he lifts and twirls you with glee. “We did it! We’re college grads!” He crows with delight. 

You giggle and slap at his shoulder. “I’m aware! Put me down! I’m unsteady enough in these shoes!”

His spinning slows to a stop but you remain held aloft. You squirm, glancing down to see the faux pout on his face, ruined by the smile he clearly can’t keep away. You raise an eyebrow after catching movement behind him. 

“I’d put me down if I were you.” You smirk.

“What’re you gonna do about it?” He taunts.

You tap your chin thoughtfully for a moment before shrugging. “I won’t do anything.” A flash of confusion colors his expression but before he can pose any sort of question, you continue. “But Taehyung certainly can.”

As soon as the name leaves your lips, Jimin’s expression falls, eyes widening in panic. He doesn’t get so much as a word out before fingers dig into his sides and he lets out a startled yelp, finally dropping you. And you’re positive you’d have fallen on your ass if Lisa hadn’t also been with Taehyung and is there to steady you when you were finally freed. You shoot her a grateful smile as you watch Taehyung’s merciless tickling of Jimin, the two rolling on the ground.

“Well at least they don’t need the robes anymore.” Jennie snarks, also joining the two of you in watching. 

The rest of your friends slowly join in watching the two wrestle, finally being able to part from family so that you all could be together on such a momentous day. A few moments later, you feel a tug in your chest and you whip your head around, scanning the crowd a second before Seokjin appears with a grin and call of your name. You see Yoongi, Namjoon, and Hoseok trailing along with him. You abandon the conversation with your friends in favor of meeting him halfway,  flinging your arms around his neck as you beam.

He gives you a quick peck. “I’m so proud of you.” He murmurs, one arm snaking around your waist. 

When the other doesn’t join it, you frown and pull away slightly, following his arm to where it remains tucked behind his back. You pout. “This seems like an inadequate proud greeting.”

He chuckles, pulling his arm out from behind him and presenting the flowers he was hiding to you in a flourish. “That’s because I had a surprise.”

Taking them, you hold them close to smell, marveling at their beauty before giving Seokjin a kiss of your own. “Thank you.”

“You two are gross. Can you not in public?” Yoongi grouses from beside you, but you know it holds no heat.

“That doesn’t sound like a good way to be introduced to my friends, mister.” You snark back, sharing a conspiratory look with Seokjin.

“I can’t believe it’s taken so long for you to introduce all of us.” Hoseok chimes in as you begin to make your way back to rejoin your friends.

“We were busy, had to finish college and you guys have a business. And schedules just never really worked out. Plus Hoseok, you actually already know Jimin.”

Hoseok perks up at that. “The dance student Jimin, right? He’s your friend? Wow, small world.”

“Hey guys!” You announce, waiting to have your friends attention. “These are Seokjin’s friends, Hoseok, Namjoon and Yoongi. Guys these are all my friends.”

Everyone starts talking over each other then to introduce themselves and share stories and you grin, nudging Seokjin. When he looks at you, you nod your head towards where Yoongi stands frozen. Frozen, and staring at Jimin. 

Jimin appears to be completely oblivious to the alpha currently staring him down, instead, he’s busy regaling the others of a story from one of Hoseok’s dance classes. Seokjin goes to say something but you hold up a hand to halt him. He gives you a questioning look but you wave him off. You move around the group till you reach Jimin, now finished with his story and you lean in to whisper in his ear, pointedly looking towards Yoongi when Jimin gives you a wide eyed look. He sheepishly follows your glance, quickly looking away when his eyes meet Yoongi’s intense stare, cheeks quickly heating. 

You give him a kiss on the cheek and a wink as you move back to Seokjin, who wraps an arm around you.

“You didn’t talk for long, are you sure that’ll be enough?” He questions. 

You observe Jimin for a moment, who’s talking to Taehyung but you see his eyes darting to Yoongi every so often. You grin. “I did just enough. Give it a second.” You give Seokjin a wry look. “Are you doubting me?”

He kisses your forehead. “Doubt you, love? Never.”

A moment later, your prediction proves right as you see Jimin say something to Tae before he’s shyly making his way over to Yoongi. You want to laugh because you’ve never seen Jimin be genuinely shy around an alpha a day in your life. Maybe you should get a picture so you can tease him later, payback for all the teasing you got over Seokjin.

You turn to Seokjin. “See? Told you.”

He hums, other arm coming up to join the first. “I do. I should never doubt you.”

You smile fondly as the two start talking, it’s stilted and awkward but you know they’ll get going on their own soon enough. You and Seokjin had taken a little while to realize that the omega that Yoongi was hung up on was Jimin. It wasn’t until Hoseok had guest taught again and Yoongi went with, with the excuse that he wanted Hoseok to use one of his songs for the dance and he wanted to see what the dancers came up with, and Yoongi mentioned the omega who ignored him again was there. He was vague on details, but Hoseok had gushed happily about one of the students in the class and how amazing they were. You’d asked their name and he’d told you Jimin.

When you’d asked Jimin about the class, he’d revealed that besides him, the only other omegas in that class were women. When you’d told Seokjin that Yoongi was pining over your friend, you got genuinely worried that he hurt himself with hard he was laughing. You asked about setting them up or setting up a group meeting to let them meet in a place where Jimin isn’t in dance mode, but Seokjin said no. When you pressed he said that letting Yoongi pine a little would let you both see if he was serious or if he was just infatuated because Jimin ignored him once.

You think they’re also mates and that the only reason they haven’t realized yet is that they’ve only met in the dance studios, a place that’s overwhelming in the mix of scents that it’s nigh impossible to pick out individual ones. So you’d agreed to wait until graduation to introduce them, which meant that all of your friends had to wait to meet the others otherwise it would have never been fair to Jimin. You’re a little glad you did because the way Jimin is glowing while talking to Yoongi tells you that they’re gonna be fine.

You look up at Seokjin. “Now, as much as I love my friends. I’d much rather we go celebrate alone before they invade your apartment to party.” You grin.

“That doesn’t seem like a very nice thing to do.” 

You quirk an eyebrow. “Oh?” You fiddle with the zipper on your robe. “So you don’t wanna see the dress I bought alone first?” You tsk in mock disappointment. “And here I thought you’d want to. You were so sad that I wouldn’t show you.”

He swallows, gaze dipping to stare at your fingers and what you might be hiding beneath the robe. “I…”

You tug it down just enough for him to get a good eyeful of your cleavage. “It’s blue you know.” You smile sweetly. “I figured since it’s your favorite color…” You give a small shrug as you trail off, starting to turn back to your friends. 

You feel Seokjin’s growl against your chest and grin in victory seconds before he’s hauling you away from your friends. 

[yikesharringrove]

maybe? 👉👈 steve taking a really long time with college (like on one year and off one yours year, on, off, on, off) and he still doesn't really know what he wants to do and he gets really frustrated bc billy just did college all in one go and steve is taking forever and he feels down on himself? idk im feeling the whump rn???

Steve had left high school having no idea what he wanted from the rest of his life.

That’s not true, he had some idea.

He knew he wanted to leave Hawkins, follow Billy wherever he was going. He knew he wanted to be with Billy for the rest of his life, he knew he wanted to leave the past behind and make new friends, people who were kind, and fun, and didn’t bat an eye when Billy pulled him into his lap.

But that’s about it.

So when Billy graduates high school, and gets a full ride to UC Berkeley, and they move into a cheap apartment in downtown Oakland, Steve is so happy that he got out.

He gets a job waiting tables at a restaurant down the street, pays half the rent and buys the groceries while Billy’s in class.

But then two years pass, and Billy’s soaring through college, working to his degrees, plural, because he just couldn’t decide between studying English Literature or Biology with a focus in research.

So he’s majoring in both and getting a minor in Italian because then I’ll know what you’re sayin’ when you start horny babblin’.

And Steve was at the same restaurant.

True, he was assistant manager now, and it came with a pretty okay raise, and he even gets dental insurance, but he feels so stuck.

So he enrolls in community college.

He starts with some general classes, still completely unsure of what he wants to study.

Billy said it was okay to just rule out things you don’t want to study, to nearly fail a math course and know that accounting is not for you.

So when Steve finishes his first year, he at least knows what he doesn’t want to pursue.

Meanwhile Billy has an internship at a lab through Kaiser Permanente. And he can read and write Italian than Steve can.

Steve is walking home from his job at the restaurant when it happens. He’s crossing the street, and gets hit by a car.

He’s taken to the hospital, where he’s informed of a fractured spine and another concussion.

He’s told his injury could’ve been much more severe, that he will not experience paralysis, but he needs physical therapy and walking will be difficult for a while.

Their finances take a big hit.

Billy’s internship doesn’t pay super well, and with Steve being unable to work for the foreseeable future, he’s fired.

Billy has insurance through the school, but because on paper, he and Steve have no real relation, Steve’s medical bills come out of pocket.

So Steve is bedridden for months. He can’t work or get groceries, or do fucking anything but lay there.

They can’t afford physical therapy.

But Billy has a friend studying to be a PT, and she comes over every Saturday, and practices her technique on him in exchange for ten bucks and a few beers.

And so the money Steve tucked away for school is rapidly diminishing.

By the time Billy graduates, Steve is a year into recovery. He still gets dizzy at odd intervals, and his back gets stiff when it rains, but Billy gets a job right away, doing research on flu vaccines.

And Steve goes back to work.

He gets a desk job, something he won’t have to be on his feet all day for. He works reception for a message therapist, which comes with free massages, which work wonders on his back.

So in the fall, he decides to give his education another shot.

He learns that history is not for him, and that his nutrition course was fine until they began looking into how the body processes nutrients, and he was fucking lost. He takes a few business classes, thinking, hoping genetics would take over and this is something he could do.

But his dad was right to take away the job opportunity at his own firm. Steve was not cut out for this.

After a year of research, Billy is promoted three times. He ends up working on some extremely important study that Steve does not understand for the fucking life of him.

But he sits and listens every time Billy explains what he did that day, even though Steve gets so sad when Billy mentions having to kill the lab mice to study their bodies.

So Steve is two years into community college, five years into living in Oakland with Billy, and he still is lost.

He takes a semester off, working more hours, trying to save up some money.

Because Billy is beginning to think about grad school, and that shit’s not cheap.

But Billy decides to postpone that, work for a few more years, and besides, he’s caught between studying something to put him in a research field, or just straight up going to medical school to study infectious disease.

Because Billy could. He’s smart enough for medical school, smart enough to research and be a doctor.

And Steve has a smushy spine and half a degree in nothing.

A semester off turns into a year.

A year and a semester.

Two years.

They’ve been in California for seven years, and Billy gets into grad school in San Diego. They move south and Billy spends late nights pursuing a Masters in Immunology.

And Steve works the front desk at a pediatrician’s office.

He’s flipping through a course catalog from the San Diego Community College when Billy comes home from his new job, the position he got after applying to only three labs.

He kissed the top of Steve’s head, moving to grab himself a beer from the fridge.

“You thinkin’ of going back?”

“I don’t know.” Steve slid the catalog closed. “Is it even worth it?”

“That’s something you have to decide.” Billy sat down, sliding the catalog towards him. Steve had crossed off the classes he had already taken, the ones he new he wouldn’t like.  “And you know, going to school isn’t the only option. You could get an apprenticeship, master a trade.”

“I can’t do anything where I need to bend over for really any length of time. So that rules out plumber, and car mechanic, and anything physical like construction, or landscaping or even general contracting is right out.”

Steve could feel the old shame, the doubt and the self hatred crawling up his spine.

“I have nothing to offer. I have no discerning skills, and in seven years I’ve only made it through two years of goddamn community college, and here you are, ripping through grad school like a fourth degree is easy.”

“Stevie, you’ve got a lot to offer. We just gotta find something that suits you.” He took Steve’s pen, turning to the back page of the catalog. “Okay, we’re gonna write down all of you strengths, and think of career paths that could fit those. I’ll go first, you’re extremely caring. You’d be good at any career where you care for people.”

“But I can’t study nursing or something, I barely understood my biology 101 course. Plus, nurses are strong. I can’t lift more than like, thirty pounds.”

“There’re way more caring fields than nursing, Pretty Boy. Although I would love if you were my nurse.” Billy smirked at him, leaning in to plant a sloppy kiss to Steve’s cheek as he rolled his eyes. “Another strength: your emotional intelligence is through the fucking roof.” He wrote it down. “Okay, I’ve said tow, so you say one.”

“Um, I think that I’m good at making people laugh?”

“Yes! You are. Perfect.” Billy scribbled it down. “You’re a good leader.”

“I’m pretty good at reading people.” Billy wrote Intuitive, can smell a douchebag from a mile away.

“You’re good under pressure.”

“Sometimes.”

“Every time I’ve seen. You’re good at keeping calm and keeping others calm.”

“I guess.”

“Nah, Stevie. Positives only. Say a strength.”

“I’m, uh, I’m good at, bilingual?” Billy stared at him. “Like, I’m bilingual.”

“Are you sure? I don’t think that was English, even.” Steve slapped his chest, Billy laughed. “I’m joking. You are bilingual. You’re also really good at making others feel safe.”

“I was always pretty alright at public speaking.”

“You’ve got a great eye for detail.”

“I’m good at teamwork, and delegating.”

“You’re really compassionate, too.” Billy drew a line under the strengths side. “Okay, so now we’ve got some of your strengths, think about what you’d want in a job, and we can match everything up and think about some careers that could fit.” Steve nodded, racking his brain.

“Um, I would want to work with kind people, I would kind of like to do something, you know, worthwhile. I’d like to be in charge of something. Like it’s fine if I have a boss to answer to, but I’d like to be fairly independent.”

“I already have so many ideas.”

“Lay ‘em on me.” Steve sat back, closing his eyes to try and picture everything Billy threw out.

“I’ve actually always thought you’d be a really good teacher. Especially if you did like, kindergarten. Just got to be around little kids all day.” Steve could actually see it. “I also think you’d be a could social worker, like to work with Child Protective Services, or something. Um, you’d be good at even planning. Or I think you’d be really good working at a nonprofit of some kind. Maybe you could be the event planner for a nonprofit.”

And Steve was sitting there, and suddenly, he had four career paths, just sitting right in front of him. Four super attainable career paths.

“Wait, wait those make sense.” Billy beamed at him.

“Yeah, that’s because I know you, Pretty Boy.” Billy opened the catalog. “So, I think if you choose to enroll, you should pick a few classes, like, Intro to Social Work, Early Childhood Education 100, and maybe like, Sociology, and see from there.”

Steve stared at the course descriptions for what Billy circled.

“Thank you for helping me. I’m sorry this has taken me so long.”

“It’s okay. Everyone is on a different timeline. And it’s not like you got to explore options in high school. You were told business until your dad decided that nevermind. So it’s understandable that this took you a minute. Plus, you went through hell with your back.”

Steve sat up straight, stretching out his back.

“But, I mean, the back thing kinda happened to you too, and you still made it through all your schooling.”

“Sure, I watched you go through it, but I was not in the pain you were. And like, emotionally, it fucking sucked to watch the love of my goddamn life go through something, and I couldn’t even afford therapy. Like, I felt so helpless, but that’s nothing to what you went through literally experiencing it.” Steve took Billy’s hand, linking their fingers together, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

“You did the best you could. Everything was shit for like, that whole year.”

“I cannot telly you how many times I would go into an individual study room in the library and just like, sob for a while.And then I’d get so mad at myself, thinking of you at home, hurting and not even able to get yourself out of bed, and I’d race home feeling like shit.”

Steve scrubbed his fingers through Billy’s hair. He had cut it a while ago, kept it short these days.

“You were doing everything you could for me. I would just sit in bed all day, and think about how amazing you are. Like I would just think about all the good times we’ve had together, and how much I love you.”

“That explains why we didn’t fight for like, that whole year.” Steve laughed. Billy leaned to kiss him softly.

“And you know, even now we’ve done this, there’s still no rush on you. You don’t have to go back to school this year, of this decade, or anytime until you’re ready. Until you want to.”

“Well now, I feel like there’s a fucking light at the end of the tunnel. I’m almost, excited. Is this how you feel? Excited to go to school?”

“Welcome to the nerd life, Sweet Thing.” Billy drained the last of his beer. “You wanna go out tonight? Celebrate?”

“Like, go out to dinner, or go out?”

“Oh, just like dinner. Be home by eight thirty, in bed by nine, missionary with the lights off, and asleep by nine fifteen.”

“Sign me the fuck up.”

[thistransient]

Apparently, contrary to the last email stating postponement til June, Thai class was being held again last week but the office folks neglected to put forth anything more than a single phone call from a number I didn't recognise (and thus didn't answer) by way of effort to inform me of this change. Today I got an email saying they hope I will come back tomorrow and catch up, as if I had been intentionally vagrant or something. On one hand I'm annoyed, partly because my sleep schedule has drifted back to 04:30 bedtime and I can't fix that in a day, partly because my classmates all like to take their masks off as soon as they get inside.

On the other hand now I have an excuse to go all the way to the supermarket across from the school (so far the only acceptable purveyor of tolerable and affordable baked goods).

[dear--charlie]

Dear Charlie,

It's been awhile since I've written to you. Every time I write, I say that things keep getting worse, and somehow that's always true. Things feel like an ultimate bottom right now, but I keep having to put on a face and play the games people need me to play. I have to go to class, work, and talk to people as if I'm fine when I feel anything but.

I tried to do something brave recently. I've liked this girl for a little while, and so I finally got the courage to ask her out. She politely declined, which is completely fine, but I'm still pretty sad about it. Unfortunately, I quickly found out that thinking about her had been what was saving me from thinking about everything else that was wrong with me.

Once thinking about her turned bittersweet, I stopped thinking about her. I would just get sad, so I would try to avoid thinking about her, but then I just had to start thinking about the other things going on.

Classes will be done soon, and I was expected to move back to my hometown. I moved away for college to avoid being home. Thinking about going back has made me anxious and put me in such a bad headspace. I started hurting myself again, years after I thought I had beaten that beast. I just can't think of being in the same town as the "family" who threw me on the curb for trying to be authentic to myself. I can't see my cousins boyfriend again, since last time he not only physically threatened me *a lot*, but he advanced on me and I had to hold him back. I never want to look in the vacant eyes of a gone man like that ever again.

I have tried talking to people at the university to see if I have any other options. I do have a meeting with someone next week to talk about emergency funding to help me afford to be able to stay in my college town since its so unsafe for me to go "home". I'm also scheduling an appointment with counseling, and I'm going to try and get back on my medications this summer.

Getting help is so hard, Charlie. Every time I have tried to do things like this in the past, they go really really wrong. I mean, they've already gone kind of wrong in the last week I've been trying. I've scared people, Charlie. I even had to speak to the police in the middle of the night because my friend was so scared for me and was worried.

It just feels like I can't do anything right. I can't handle everything happening, and its so frustrating. I shouldn't have to need extra help, I shouldn't need counseling and therapy and medication. I just want to feel capable again. But right now it feels like nobody trusts me to be able to take care of myself. They question if me leaving the room is me trying to go hurt myself. My friend has been postponing going to sleep because she's so worried I'm going to try something stupid if she isn't there.

The really hard thing is they're right. I probably would try to do something stupid. I know I need to get better. It just doesn't feel like I can. There's so many things in the way of me getting better, and I don't know that I will be able to get over them Charlie. I'm going to try, but it's going to be a hard and long journey. I just wish things didn't feel so helpless.

- C

05/23/2021

[liberolove]

Our Great Perhaps

Pairing: Nishinoya x reader

Summary: You two have been dating for about 3 years. You met him in your first semester of college, and you two have been pretty strong. Now, however, taking into account each of your career paths has brought up issues. Maybe, it wasn’t meant to be.

Genre: crack, angst, college au (first part)

Warnings: cussing

Part One || Part Two: here

Nishinoya Yuu was an inimitable beast and glorious lover. He was the most passionate, romantic, and charismatic partner. You had never met someone like him before, so when he waltzed gracefully into your life, you were in awe. 

There was no way that a man like this could ever exist. You had dreamt of your stereotypical prince charming and knight in shining armor entering your life and sweeping you off of your feet. However, you had no idea your fairy tale dream could ever become a reality. And so soon.

The moment you two crossed paths, it felt as though worlds had collided. The stars had aligned and your prayers had been answered. Finally. This was the beginning of your happily ever after.

From the exact second you laid your eyes upon his beautifully toned physique, you knew that there was something special about him. Perhaps, this was the way love at first sight feels like?

When he walked into the lecture hall, everyone else faded from view, leaving only you and him. You just remember his smile, and those brightly lit eyes, looking throughout the hall for a place to sit. He seemed a little lost, but eventually he found somewhere to settle.

You were shocked to find him moving towards you, in the back of the wide room. You were sitting alone in that row of seats, hoping that no one would sit next to you, yet he saw you. He saw that you didn’t actually want to be alone. You were wanting- yearning for someone. Anyone. Anyone to come and sit next to you.

He heard your silent begging, and complied. Once he was close enough, he grinned his award winning teeth and introduced himself. 

“Nishinoya Yuu. But you can call me either Noya or Yuu. What’s your name, gorgeous?”

Those words will forever be seared into the back of your mind. They are the first words your guardian angel ever spoke to you. 

Since then, you two never let go of each other. No matter where you were, everyone knew that Noya was close by. Despite having different majors, you two did your best to take the same general education classes. 

But once your studies started leading you to your core major classes, you two had to part ways in terms of school. This didn’t come between you and Noya much, due to the fact that you two had been living together since your three month anniversary. It felt so right at the time, so why not? 

Despite the differences in coursework, you knew that you could always come to him in your cozy apartment. 

What was starting to drive a wedge between the two of you was the fact that Noya had begun to delve in deeper into his extracurriculars.

You were psyched to hear about his growing opportunities within his field of study: kinesiology. He dreamt of becoming a personal trainer and a coach for high school students. He had a big heart and wished to give back to his community. 

The only problem was that he was focusing all his attention to the intramural volleyball team, the kinesiology club, and his current position at a local high school. 

At first it was manageable, but as the semester progressed, he was constantly busy, leaving you stranded at home.

After spending almost three years joined at the hip practically, this change felt so wrong and absurd. You hadn’t felt this lonely in so long. 

Usually, Noya was so caring and attentive to your mental state, but now, with everything going on, he couldn’t spare the time to listen to you. 

You were so afraid of him forgetting you. Noya was constantly running here and there like a whirlwind, causing him to skip out on your weekend dates. He had so much work to do, and couldn’t afford to get behind on his studies. 

As the number of postponed dates grew, you decided it was time to talk. The anxiety of not knowing how he would respond starting to take over your thoughts. You had no idea how to bring it up nor how to convey your emotions to him. 

~~~~~

The day you finally decided to spill your feelings, he was running late. You had set up dinner about half an hour ago, yet he still wasn’t home. 

You were considering just heading off to bed, since it was getting really late. That’s when the door opened.

“Hey, sweetie, I’m so sorry! The boys wanted to go out to eat after practice, so we got- oh.. Oh fuck, y/n. I’m so sorry! I should’ve texted you that we went out.. I’m so sorry.. I’ll eat it tomorrow for breakfast. Sorry.”

“It’s fine, Yuu. I’m sorry, too, for not letting you know.”

There was a lull in the conversation, and you felt the knot in the back of your throat grow. You tried to get it out, but your own words were choking you. Your eyes started to well up with tears. Nishinoya was putting away dinner when he heard your stifled sobs, and immediately turned towards you and held you close to his chest. 

“Baby, what’s wrong? Please tell me. Is it because I didn’t tell you earlier about going out to eat? I’m so sorry.”

“n-noo.. It’s n-not.. that.” you managed to say.

“Then, what is it? You can tell me. You know that, right? You can tell me anything.”

Those words. They dug deep into your heart. You knew he would hear you out, but the fear of the unknown kept ringing in your ears. 

“I.. I c-.. I just can’t!” you yelped and buried your face in his chest.

“I can’t do this anymore..”

He understood immediately. Without saying a word, he held you tightly and placed one hand over your head, trying to soothe you.

He did his best to comfort you, but he realized that this might be one of the last times he would ever hold you.

“I’m so sorry, y/n. I really am. I wish I could fix this.”

Between sniffles, you replied, “We can’t fix it.. Things are different now..”

“I know, but there’s.. there has to be something.. anything.. Anything we can do. We can fix it.. I know we can.”

“I don’t know..”

His eyes started to water, as well. He pulled away from the hug and lifted your chin up so he could see you. Noya stared at you through the veil of tears in his eyes. He did his best to take you in, trying to memorize all of your facial features.

“I’m sorry I failed you..” he whispered quietly. 

“You didn’t.. It’s neither of our faults.. It just wasn’t meant to be..” As you said these words, you felt the sting of what they meant. It hurt to say it out loud, but it also helped provide some closure.

You two had grown apart and there was nothing you could do. You had given him 3 years of your life. They were the happiest years of your life, and you would never regret them, despite how much pain you were currently feeling.

“I love you, y/n. I always have, and always will. No matter what..”

“I love you, Yuu. So much. Thank you for everything..”

~~~~~~~

To say that the breakup was devastatingly difficult would be an understatement. 

Noya had an especially hard time trying to adjust to the change. He would still come home smiling and leaning in for kisses, but stop abruptly, remembering that you two weren’t together anymore. It hurt him to not be able to feel your touch on his skin, or vice versa. 

At first you agreed to be roommates, so that you could adjust gradually, but it made the pain so much worse. Seeing him everyday hurt so much. There was a pain in your chest every time you looked at him, because you knew he wasn’t yours anymore.

Eventually, you two talked about it, and decided that one of you had to move out. Noya basically decided himself that he would be the one to leave. 

You were grateful for his gesture. You tried to help him pack, but unfortunately, every one of his belongings was shrouded in the memories of your past. You had to apologize and leave him be. 

Once the apartment was empty, the ache worsened. It was actually happening. This was real. You two were over. 

That first month, you cried yourself to sleep every night. You were thankful that the one constant thing in your life, school, was still the same. So, you focused on your studies, making sure that your grades didn’t suffer the same way you were suffering.

Your friends learned to not talk about him, anymore. He would always be a part of you, but he was in the past, now. It took you about a whole year to feel better. 

You graduated from university, and you were on your way towards your dream career. 

~~~~~~~

7 years later

~~~~~~~

For your job, you had moved away to Tokyo. From there, you really blossomed. A change of scenery was exactly what you needed. You were currently working as a social worker, and you were loving it. Helping people and supporting them was your calling, truly. 

Everything was going great, and you soon got even more good news. Your agency was about to open a new branch in Miyagi. Your boss picked you specifically to handle the logistics, since you were familiar with the area. 

You were so excited to go back home and reconnect with friends and family.

You packed your bags, ready for the next chapter of your life. Your family was ecstatic that you came back, with so much success behind you. 

When you settled into your new house, your friends planned a surprise housewarming party. Everyone was so supportive and happy that you were back, with the job of your dreams. 

Eventually, they started asking you if there was anyone special in your life. You shook your head. 

The entire time you were in Tokyo, you were too engrossed in your work to focus on dating.  You didn’t have time to get to know someone who would eventually leave. Besides, you knew that Tokyo wouldn’t be for you, forever, so when you heard about a new branch opening, you jumped on the opportunity. 

Truthfully, you missed your life back home. You had grown used to the rural quiet of Miyagi. The city was fun, but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t home. 

Since you told your friends there wasn’t anyone special, they started to drown you in guys’ phone numbers, trying to set you up with everyone they knew. 

You laughed it off and tried your best to get away, but your efforts were futile. 

They were dead set on finding someone for you, which was kind of dumb, seeing as there were hundreds of dating apps now. 

You reluctantly took all the phone numbers they gave you, with no intention of actually calling any of them. 

After the party, you were able to relax and have some time to yourself. You forgot how tiring parties were for you. It was exhausting answering so many questions about where you’ve been and what you’ve been up to. Still, it was comforting to see that so many people were still in your hometown. 

The next day you walked around town, remembering all the shops and houses from your childhood. Almost nothing had changed. 

You decided to walk into your favorite little café from back in the day. It looked just as you remembered it, with the only change being the menu. They served way more drinks than before. 

You ordered a small iced coffee and sat down in a corner, with a book in your lap. 

Today, you decided to read some poems. You put your earphones in and the world around you dissipated. 

You were too enraptured in your own little world to notice, but a man in a white t-shirt and black shorts walked into the café.

He ordered an iced coffee, as well, and looked around for a comfortable spot to sit. That’s when he spotted you. Could his eyes be deceiving him? It couldn’t be. Last he’d heard, you had moved away to the big city. 

Intrigued, he sat down 2 tables away from you, so as to not disturb you, in case you weren’t the person he thought you were. 

You sat there for about an hour before looking up from your book. “That was enough reading for now,” you thought. You got up without paying attention to your surroundings and walked out of the café.

When you got up, he was able to catch a glimpse of your face. It was you. He sat there stunned in silence. Before he knew it, you were gone. 

He ran out of the shop, in a frenzy, looking for you. He saw you still making your way down the street, so he ran behind you, trying to catch up. 

“Y/N!!”

Your earphones were still in, with your music blasting. You knew it was bad for your ears, but you couldn’t help it. You loved being lost in the sound.

“Y/n?! Fuck my life. Earphones.”

He finally caught up to you and put his hand on your shoulder. “Y/n!!”

You jumped, startled by the touch, and started fumbling backwards, about to fall. He reached out for your hand, and caught you just in time. 

You breathed a sigh of relief, and took out your earphones. “Don’t fucking scare me like that, fuck.” You looked up at the figure looming over you, and you stopped breathing. It was him. God, it had been so long. 

“Nishinoya..” 

“Y/n!! Glad to see you’re still the same, with music blasting in your ears.” He chuckled to himself. 

“Hi. Wow. Hey.. Hi..”

“Yeah, hey. Been a while, huh? How you been? I didn’t know you were back visiting.”

“I actually moved back.”

“Wow! That’s awesome! Have you met up with everyone yet?”

“Yeah, I have. Wow.. It’s really you. I thought you would’ve moved away, too.”

“I did, but I came back, too. I just couldn’t stay away, y’know?”

“Same.”

“Sooo.. wanna go out for some ramen later or something? To catch up?”

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

~~~~~~~

Noya picked you up from your place in his car at around 8 pm. Your heart was racing, the way it used to when you were still dating. 

You got in and asked, “Where’re we going?”

“It’s a surprise.”

You whined but settled down quickly. 

Once you arrived you yelped, “Oh man! I love this place! I can’t believe you remembered..”

“Of course, I did. How could I forget?”

After all these years, he still remembered your favorite ramen place. You wondered what else he remembered..

You two spent the next two hours catching up and laughing like old friends. You told him all about your life in Tokyo, and he told you about his journeys abroad. Noya had gone to Brazil, the US, Korea, and most of Europe. He loved traveling but always made his way back home. Now, he was teaching and coaching at the same university you two graduated from. He was living his dream.

His phone rang. “Hey, sorry about that, I need to answer this,” he apologized.

“Hey, what’s going on? ... Oh, I’m just out having dinner with a friend, catching up. ... I’ll come over in a little... Okay, bye... See ya soon.”

He hung up. “Hey, I have to go now. My girlfriend’s been sick and she wants me to stop by before bed.”

You did your best to hide the disappointment and jealousy in your face. Of course, he has a girlfriend. It’s not like he waited for you this whole time. You were glad he was able to move on, but it still hurt a little. You put on your best fake smile and said, “Yeah, no worries! We can keep chatting another time.”

“Let’s get going then.”

“Alright, thanks again for the food.”

“Yeah, no problem. Anything for you!”

[killervibe]

I’m 17 (I Don’t Know Anything) 

hournite fic!

~.~ 

Rick was leaning against Beth’s locker when she came out of her class at the bell.

“How was it?”

Beth zipped her bag, tossing in her pencil case. The day was over and she was eager to get to the garage for some JSA training. They had to put things on hold, there were a lot of assignments and a lot of studying this year, and Pat wanted them to do well in school. It’s been too long since they’ve suited up to have a fun time challenging each other rather than because there was an emergency mission. “The test? Yeah, it went well. Chuck quizzed me all night.”

“I know,” he murmured, crowding her against the metal rows to steal a kiss. Oh. Beth wore a pleased smile for the few moments she had before her mouth was too busy kissing her boyfriend. She loved it when Rick got needy with the PDA—Not that they did it often— Rick used to be so distanced with his emotions before they really became friends. Maybe it was Beth’s old loser table insecurities creeping in, but it still marvelled her that someone could want her so bad. Beth grabbed onto his shirt collar eagerly for another kiss. “You postponed our date.”

She raised an eyebrow and poked at one of his ribs. “You’re not jealous of my time with Chuck, are you?”

Rick scoffed. “No!”

Beth continued her poking. “Because I can divide my time equally.”

“I believe you,” he said in a teasing way that implied he really didn’t, but there wasn’t much he could do. He knew once he started dating her that Beth and Chuck came as a package deal.

She packed everything she needed then looked at him. Her locker was in terrible condition and she often felt like Artemis bodyslamming against it in order to get the door to stick. Rick closed her jammed locker with a push and his knee.

“I can,” she insisted. “Thank you.”  Beth stretched up on her tippy-toes, pulling his head down until she could kiss him at her level. He softened like putty under her spell.

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” she promised. She played with the front of his hair, pulling a few strands out to fall over his eyes. “And certainly want to make up for it.”

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely. C’mere.”

She went for another kiss, but it ended shortly because Yolanda threw herself against Beth’s locker just as Beth got a noise out of him. Yolanda put an arm over her eyes and let out a very overdramatic groan. “Oh to be young and in love and in high school!” she mocked, talking as if she were the lead in a Shakespearean play. “What misery, the date of Olive Garden vanquished by the practice examinations for SATs.”

Courtney appeared out of nowhere too, propping her elbow against Rick’s arm.

“Justin is rubbing off on you, Yolanda.”

Yolanda smirked. “What was it that he called you guys last week, again? The Earl and Duchess of Righteous Unity? That’s Camelot talk for soulmates.”

Rick shared an awkward look with Beth.

“Nooooo, you’re embarrassing them!” Courtney smacked her, but she was also giggling into her palm. Yolanda shoved Courtney’s hand aside.

“That’s the point, yeah.”

She didn’t know if he was feeling what she was, but something went wrong in her heart the moment he pulled away from her and she slipped her hands back into the sleeves of her yellow sweater. Beth felt a freezing sensation in her veins. Like Icicle got to her bloodstream or something. Her eyes widened, desperate to search something in his gaze and panicked when he went blank instead. That freezing heart of hers sank. Rick. Beth mentally willed him to react. Laugh it off. Smile. Make a joke, anything.

But he didn’t. He stood there like a block of handsome tall teenager confused for a wall.

Beth didn’t know what to do.

Courtney and Yolanda’s laughter died off when neither Rick or Beth said anything in reply. Courtney nudged Rick. “She’s just teasing you guys.”

More silence and it was getting weird. Beth tried to speak, but her voice felt incredibly small for the first time ever, like if she tried to use it the only thing she might do is cry. 

Yolanda frowned.

“Guys?”

“I gotta go,” Rick said with a start. “See you, uh—later.” Every word was stiff, almost as if he had to force them out of his mouth then regretted them once they were out there, hanging between them.  

He bent down on autopilot to kiss Beth’s cheek, but jerked away at the last second and fumbled again. “Right. Bye.”

Beth folded her arms to herself, staring at her shoes with a worried lip as Rick disappeared into the sea of students.

“Beth—?” Yolanda said to fill up the silence.  “Did I do something wrong?”

“I—” She picked up her bag and put it on, following the crowd that Rick slipped into. Courtney and Yolanda hurried up, taking each spot beside her as they walked out of school. “It’s not your fault.”

“What do you mean it’s not her fault?” Courtney said, narrowly dodging getting elbowed in the eye by Isaac’s tuba. The marching band was single filing onto the bus for a state championship this weekend.

“You said we were young and in love,” Beth explained, already feeling fragile to say it out loud. “Rick and I.”

Courtney glanced at Yolanda who shrugged. “But…. you are.”

Are we? A voice in her head shrilled at her between her ears. The thought bounced around her brain like a basketball. Beth was going to go crazy at the stream of thoughts that would follow if she let herself fall down that rabbit hole. She just wanted to run home and cry to Chuck or call Rick to ask him or—No. Not to do that. First plan. Cry with Chuck.

Beth started to walk on without the girls, a hand fiddling with her rainbow pendant. “I guess,” she said.

“What do you mean, you guess?”

Beth turned on her heel in front of the Blue Valley Tires mural. “I think we’re in love. I  hope we are. It’s what I want, of course. I just...don’t know yet. We never talked about it.”

Courtney looked like she was about to have an aneurysm. “You two never talked about your feelings????”

“It sounds bad when you say it like that!”

Yolanda picked her own jaw up from the floor. “Because it is! You’re kidding, right? Rick loves you. And you love Rick!”

Beth looked increasingly troubled.

Courtney grabbed Beth’s arm. “You do love him, right?”

Beth shook off Courtney’s hand. “Of course I do,” she replied softly. The three girls took up the entire width of the sidewalk as they walked to the Garage. “I just never told him. I wasn’t sure how he’d react.”

“But—”

“And he never told me! He practically ran away, Court! I don’t think I’m overthinking this.”

“What?”

“What??”

Beth froze in front of the Pit Stop when she realized that’s exactly where Rick was waiting for them. “I can’t go in there.”

“Oh my god!” Yolanda pulled at her braids in exasperation. “Beth, this is crazy! If you love Rick then you have to tell him! He probably thought it was awkward for the same reason you did because you didn’t say anything either!”

“Yeah,” said Court. “This is our first training session in weeks. We can’t afford to have in-fighting. Pat will get so frustrated!”

Beth peeked in through the door. Rick wasn’t talking to Pat in the entrance or by the cars, which meant he was probably up at the loft. Their spot. Her heart flipped the way it always did when she thought of their first kiss there.

Yolanda looped her arm around Courtney’s, pulling her inside. “We’re gonna get changed and get snacks,” she told Beth. “You two better get your acts together before we come back.”

~.~

Beth found Rick on the couch in the loft. His arm was slung over his forehead as he stared up at the ceiling.

“Beth,” he said the moment the stairs stopped creaking when she got to the top. She stared at him laying down like that. If this were yesterday she would’ve settled herself in by letting his head fall into her lap. She’d have lowered his hood and stroked his hair as he rested there in his suit like a superhero on call, waiting for the alarm to sound. She’d have filled the quiet with chatter that he’d listen to, drifting off to sleep. She’d have played with his keys, rattling the chain so that they’d chime in a way only Rick Tyler would call a lullaby.

Beth didn’t know why she was acting like she’d have only done that yesterday. She’d have done it an hour ago. She wanted to do it right now. Beth loved him.

“Yeah?” Her voice came out higher pitched than she wanted it to.

“What the hell just happened?”

“I don’t know.”

“It was like, one minute everything was fine and the next I wasn’t even sure if—”

“You don’t have to worry about that, Rick.” She took a deep breath. “I do.”

Rick sat up. His boots squelched against the floor. “You what?”

Beth took a step forward, glad that she got rid of her bag downstairs. Rick stood up too. Beth found herself straining her fingers up to get Rick to duck his head. She removed the hood and cupped his face. “I think you know.”

Rick’s eyes were on hers like she held his world in place. And everything suddenly became so silly. How could either of them doubt this for what it was?

“We’ve been dating for nearly a year.” Rick’s soft smile was still a treasure Beth found she’d covet for.

“Has it really been that long?”

“You know it has.”

Beth grinned because she had never lost track of any time before. Not hers. Not his.

“And I’ve been in love with you for all of it.”

There was no stretch of silence this time. No unsure glance or worried paranoia, spreading from one to the other. This wasn’t mislabeled.

“Oh,” said the airy breath that got knocked out from her lungs. Her fingers wandered over Rick’s face, marvelling the way his eyelids fell when her fingers lightly traced over them.  “Yes. Okay.”

He laughed. 

“Okay?” he repeated.

This was the big moment. The thing they should’ve talked about ages ago. It could’ve been downright crazy to Courtney and Yolanda for them to not understand. Beth was a talker. Rick barely bottled his emotions. They were obviously in love. But they didn’t see these moments between them. When Rick bent down so Beth could kiss him. When Beth learned to drive with his Mustang. The hours at night she’d spend with Chuck, daydreaming about the way his hand only reached for hers to hold in the sewers when she was supposed to be studying. There were things Beth knew. Deep down, without asking. She didn’t need to push. Rick never needed anyone to push him. He did all the fighting himself.

But for Beth to use every word but those three? She didn't even need to.

“Yolanda was right about us.”

[crossiantgay]

Ch 1 of the Logince Princess and the Frog au!!!

This is my biggest fanfic by f a r . Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: voodoo, frogs, brief mention of food

Words: 5049

“Now here I’d like to tell you a story. A story that takes place right where we are, in the Big Easy. Down here in Louisiana, there’s a city you may have heard of, way down by the River. Does New Oreleans ring a bell? The place where jazz is always playin’ and you’re always guaranteed a good time. The lifestyle we live is as slow as the Mississippi. But you’ll have a treat down here in New Orleans. Oh, you haven’t lived if you haven't had a good bowl of gumbo with some grits. Or hear that smooth jazz that just sweeps you off your feet, mm, that’s the good stuff. If you want to truly live, come down to New Orleans to do it. We’ve got magic, sure do. Good and bad in New Orleans. Give ya what ya want but take what ya have. My dream since I was a youngin’ was to see New Orleans. You know, everybody got dreams. Rich people, poor people we all got dreams. This story I’m about to tell you focuses on one boy’s dream and the unusual way it comes true. Oh, this is a story of magic and love, plain and simple. The weird ways fate ties us together. Alright, I’ll stop stalling. You ready?”

“Please, I’m going to get the funds, I swear-” Logan begged to the bankers. 

“I’m sorry, where do you expect to get all this money? We can’t offer you a loan until we believe you can get the money to pay us back” They said, not budging a bit. 

“But-”

“We have made our decision.” An attendant escorted him to the door.  He gruffed and walked out. 

He had been saving up for so long for this library and a building finally opened up that he could buy, only for some big wigs to come in and make an offer higher than he could bid. This was his mother’s legacy, his dream. He just had to get this library, he didn't know what he’d do if he didn’t. He sighed, walking to his work at the school. He picked up a paper on his way to teach science at the Middle School in the area. It didn’t pay much, but it was the best job he could get. The paper’s headline was 

“Prince Roman of the Carnacty family coming to New Oreleans!” Logan sighed. Always ex-celebs who run out of luck coming to all the big cities to get their name in the headlines. He walked in the front door, greeting the attendant lady. His kids were already in the classroom, patiently waiting. Their mouths were going a mile a minute, he was trying to just get a snippet of the conversation. One kid said kind of loudly,

“I can’t believe he’s coming to New Oreleans! A real prince!!!” 

“Well he’s gonna marry me, I can already tell” One of the girls scoffed. He tried his best to stifle a laugh. It was well known the prince wasn't exactly into the princesses. Well, neither was he for that matter. Women were just so… dramatic. They all stopped talking as the bell rang, piercing through the room. Announcements crackled over the intercom, telling the kids that Math Club had been postponed and the basketball game tonight. He stood up from his desk, highly caffeinated and began teaching the kids. Amelia and Lucas raised their hands several times to ask questions during the lecture as expected. He let out a sigh of relief as the bell rang once again, signaling the end of school. He filed out quickly after the kids. He was supposed to meet with his dad today, one wednesday a month they got together to talk. God bless his father, when Logan was a child, he tried so hard to support Logan financially he rarely got a chance to spend with his son. But now that Logan was off on his own he and his father had some more time to spend together.  

He met his father on the block they’d agree they’d meet. He wanted to show his father the building he had his eye on for awhile. Technically they weren’t supposed to be there but oh well. He walked up the dusty stairs and pushed open two heavy dark oak doors to reveal an empty building with a staircase leading up to a second story. There were big french-style windows on the walls, illuminating the dusty room with a beautiful golden-white light. The building itself was made of bricks that were painted over a creamy tan color. Logan’s mind flooded with images of neat rows of bookshelves, with fluffy pillows and seating arrangements scattered around. The floors, polished to a shine and half of the upper floor dedicated to an information area and classes, taught by anyone who wanted to volunteer. But best of all, there would be a plaque on the back wall, visible right when you entered, saying “Dedicated to Mary L. Berry”. He would make his mother proud, do something right for once. He snapped out of his thoughts as his father said, 

“Sure is a fixer-upper” His dad chuckled a bit. 

“Well of course. I would rather add my own furnishings and make it my library than buy a dollhouse. There is so much room for improvement!” He walked towards the center of the building, getting bathed in light. 

“Isn’t it just astounding?” There were stars in his eyes. 

“Well, sure is… something.” HIs father tentatively walked towards Logan. The light died in his eyes. 

“...what? Is it not adequate?” The light died in his eyes as he turned towards his father. “If there’s anything you don’t like about, we can fix it” Logan’s father sighed and put a hand on his son’s shoulder. 

“Bub-” Oh no. His father only called him bub when something was wrong. “You don’t get money like this from teaching- or for waitering for that matter, either. Maybe something a bit smaller?” 

“It’s for mom though- it’s what she would have wanted” 

“First of all, she only wanted you to be healthy and safe. Second of all, you should be doing this for you, not to rekindle the embers of your mother’s dying dream.” Logan sighed. 

“I want to be a librarian though- It’s my dream, too” His father looked at him worriedly.

“If your heart’s in the right place, bub… either way, how are you going to get the money? People like us can’t afford such a lovely place.” 

“You like it?” Logan said excitedly. HIs father shot him a pointed look. 

“I’ve been saving up. I have enough to meet the market price” His father knew he wasn’t telling him something but he let it go. “I have been waiting so long for this, and it’s finally in my grasp. I just have to work a few more overtimes and I’ll-” His father cut him off. 

“Woah woah woah. I asked you before if you had the money. Do you or not?” Logan looked to the side. 

“There’s a higher bidder” 

“Oh…” 

Logan sighed and walked over to the door and opened it, rising up a cloud of dust. 

“We should go, we’re not supposed to be here anyway…” Logan’s dad gave a curt nod and tipped his hat. His father hailed a cab and hopped in. 

“See you soon!” He hollered as the driver took off. Logan nodded and waved as his father disappeared down the street. He sighed and let the tears that he was holding back roll down his cheeks as he looked to the building. 

“I was almost there…”   

(------)

One of his coworkers taunted him. “C’mon, the Mardi Gras party held by Charlotte every year is tonight. You guys grew up together, you should go!” He rolled his eyes and straightened his tie. 

“Mardi Gras parties are frivolous events where people get dressed up like little kids and get drunk on mimosas. Does that sound like something I would enjoy?” 

“Aww, you’re no fun.” His coworker whined.

“I am plenty of fun!” He huffed and put his hands on his hips. 

“Well if you were really fun you’d join us.” 

“Fine… I’ll go to your little party or whatever.” His coworker smiled.

“I knew I could convince you! It's a costume party, so dress up!” His coworker hollered from down the hall. He sighed. What had he gotten himself into? 

(~~~~) 

“C’mon Remus! We’re finally here! There are places to go, people to meet! Hurry up!” Roman hollered from up the street. Remus huffed as he adjusted to the bags he was holding. Roman’s bags. While his brother was what, talking to one of the locals? His brother never helped with anything. It was always up to Remus. 

“If you could maybe help I wouldn’t be so far behind” 

“ALL I HEAR IS EXCUSES, BROTHER! LET’S GO!” He didn’t know why Roman insisted on calling him ‘brother’. The way he treated Remus was as if he was a servant, not a royal. But of course, because Roman was first in line for the throne, nobody really cared about Remus. Was his name in the papers? Nope. It was just Roman’s. Everything was Roman, Roman, Roman. Remus grudgingly quickened his pace as he followed his brother. 

“Isn’t this a lovely city?” Roman stretched out his arms. 

“Yeah…” Remus mumbled. 

“...is there a problem, brother?” Remus rolled his eyes. 

“No, everything’s a-ok” Roman sighed. 

“What is it, and let’s not let your terrible mood leave a stain on this vacation” Remus did his best not to punch his brother in the face. He sighed. 

“Nothing…” Roman smiled. 

“Then let’s go, see the sights, eat the food!” He sped ahead and Remus sighed. He watched his brother talk to another shop owner. He looked up and Roman was being escorted into the man’s shop. 

“WAIT-” Remus rushed in behind him. He turned a corner into the entranceway for the shop his brother went into. He looked up as he left the bags outside. The sign on the top of the door read 

“Dr.Janus’s Fortune Tellings and Palm Readings” This was insane. Stick it to his brother to get his fortune read. You stay rich and Mom and Dad make you marry. You inherit the crown and you live happily ever after. It didn’t take a genius to know that was what would happen. Well, he had the money to spend. He sighed and walked into the building. The ‘shop’ had a high ceiling and dust coated the floors. The place was very poorly-lit, the only light in the building coming from a few lamps hung from the walls. Speaking of the walls, they were a dark mauve. They were ordained with intricate-looking masks, of every color and shape. 

“SSSit down, gentlemen.” The lean man ushered them to a dusty and old looking circular brown table. As the man turned to them, he saw half of the man’s face appeared to be covered with scales. 

“Welcome, you’re in my world now, not your world. I’ve got friendss on the other sside.” The man’s voice was slippery and he was drawing out his s’s. Roman faked a smile and nodded. He didn’t want to be rude but this was creeping him out. 

“Sit down at my table, Put your minds at ease, if you relax it will enable me to do anything I please.” The man’s long tailcoat swished behind him as he turned and smirked. 

“I can read your future, I can change it ‘round some, too” Roman’s disgust soon turned to awe.

“Really?”

“Really, yes.” He smirked and grabbed a black top hat from one of the hooks on the wall. 

“I'll look deep into your heart and soul,” he looked to Remus and nudged him. “You do have a soul, don’t you, Remus?” Remus sat back in his chair and raised an eyebrow. 

“How do you know my name?” 

The man, who he assumed to be Dr.Janus, turned over his shoulder. His light brown eye almost seemed to glow yellow as sunlight caught it. 

“I have my wayss…” He glanced over at his brother and his brother was wiggling in his seat, Roman looked as if he was about to watch a magic show. Dr.Janus pulled a deck of cards out of his sleeve and placed them on the table. He pulled out some other things, a ragdoll and a pendant.

“I’ve got voodoo, I’ve got hoodoo, I’ve got things I ain’t even tried,” He ran a gloved finger over the designs that were etched into the wood pendant. 

“And I’ve got friends on the other side.” Roman looked worried. 

“Hey, Remus, maybe we should go, we have that um, royal thing we have to attend. Remus caught his arm and pulled him down back into the chair. 

“C’mon, brother, right when things get interesting you wanna scatter?” This act had piqued Remus’ interest. “You always tell me to be brave, why not take some of your own medicine?” Roman looked to his brother and sighed. Dr.Janus swallowed and began shuffling the cards. 

“The cards, the cards, the cards will tell, the past, the present and the future as well.” He laid down three cards to demonstrate. 

“Thesse are Tarot cards, cards that have a deep connection with the other side” Remus thought he was seeing things as a red light flickered in the ‘eyes’ of one of the large masks on the back wall. “The cards, the cards, just take three. Take a look into your future with me” He fanned out the cards face-down and displayed them in front of them. Remus eagerly grabbed three cards and Roman tentatively followed suit after. Dr.Janus motioned for the boys to flip the cards over, grinning.  Roman flipped the first one over, first. It read ‘the sun’ and had a very detailed gold inking of the sun in the center. 

“You, young man, are from across the sea,” Dr.Janus began. “You come from two longs lines of royalty.” Roman flipped the other card over. It read ‘the hermit’; with another gold design on its ‘face’. “Your lifestyle’s high,” Dr.Janus turned the card upside down. “But your funds are low. You’ve got to marry a little sonny who’s daddy’s got dough” Roman raised an eyebrow and Remus laughed.

“Really? Ol’ Mommsies and Popsicle cut you off?” Remus laughed and clutched his stomach. Roman elbowed his brother. 

“I understand. You just wanna enjoy life, be free. Hop from place to place. But freedom takes green.” Dr.Janus rubbed his fingers. “It’s the green, it’s the green, it’s the green you need.” Dr.Janus flipped over the next card. “And in your future it’s the green that I see” The card read ‘ten of pentacles’ on the top of it and a gleam flashed in Roman’s eye as he grinned. Dr.Janus turned to Remus. 

“On you, young man, I don’t want to waste much time, you’ve been pushed around all your life,” Remus scowled and Dr.Janus flipped over the first card. The card read ‘justice’ on the top and was upside down. “You’ve been pushed around by your mother and your father and your brother,” Remus knitted his brows. “And even if you were the best you can be, you’d still be pushed around” Dr.Janus turned over the next card and it read ‘the fool’, also upside down. Remus glared at Dr.Janus and Roman held Remus back from lunging at Dr.Janus. Dr.Janus, however, was unmoved. 

“But in your future, the you I see,” He turned over the final card. “Is the man you’ve always wanted to be” This card read ‘chariot’ and was upright. 

Dr.Janus took off his gold gloves to reveal scaly hands. He extended a hand out to each of them. 

“Shake my hand, c’mon boys, won’t you shake a poor sinner’s hand?” 

Remus eagerly shook his hand quickly and Roman hesitated before giving a strong shake of Dr.Janus’s hand. 

“Yessss,” The man hissed and his right eye glowed yellow. Smoke filled the room. 

“Are you ready? Are you ready?” There was a strong beating noise, almost sounding like footsteps or a heartbeat. Roman felt his forearms tighten and he looked down as two golden pythons twisted themselves around his arms, pinning him to the chair. Weird shadows danced across the walls and Remus thought he could almost hear other voices. 

“Transformation central,” Dr.Janus hissed as he held up the wooden pendant.”Transformation central,” He walked over to Roman, unfazed by what was occurring around them. His scales on his face and hands glowed yellow in the shift of lighting and the smoke.

“Transformafication central, can you feel it?” Roman yelped as something pricked his finger. Smoke filled the room up to their heads and the boys’ vision was obscured. 

“You’re changing, you’re changing, you’re changing, all right,” The man’s yellow eye and scales were the only things visible to the thick fog encompassing them. The beating grew steadily louder as Remus felt a pendant slip around his neck.

“I hope you’re satisfied. But if you ain’t, don’t blame me,” His eye and scales glowed bright yellow, almost blinding them.  “you can blame my friends on the other side” And as Dr.Janus uttered that last word, the beating stopped and everything became encompassed in darkness. They could still see the aftershine of the man’s eye and scales long after it faded out. 

(~~~~)

Logan hovered by the snack table, not wanting to get dragged onto the dance floor and be made a fool of. Patton hurried over to him, in a baby blue dress. 

“Isn’t this just amazing? And rumor is Prince Roman’s supposed to get here soon! Imagine us! Meeting a real prince!” Patton’s golden curly hair flew up as he jumped in excitement. Logan smiled and toasted a glass. “By the way I love your prince costume You see, Larry and his wife are a horse over there, lovely costume. And your coworker, Daisy is dressed as a- I’m not quite sure. Anyway, I’m going to go see if the prince is here yet!”

“Knock yourself out, Pat” Logan forced a smile and watched as Patton hurried out to the dance floor. 

(~~~~) 

Remus awoke groggily. He sat up slowly and looked down. 

“Wha-” He sat up and looked at his hands. They didn’t look like his. These weren’t his clothes, either. No- he couldn’t- He rolled up his sleeve and his suspicions were confirmed. His brother had a scar on his bicep, from when they got in a swordfight as kids. 

“Who did this?” He yelled. 

“I see you’re up,” Dr.Janus hissed from another room. 

“What did you do to me?” He shakily stood up and gripped the side of the chair. He felt like he was walking in too-big shoes. Dr.Janus walked out of his office and stood beside Remus.

“Now, what you’re going to do is you’re going to go to the party tonight. There’s a boy, Patton Hudson. His father is the richest person in New Orleans. If you’re able to woo him, you’ll be rolling in the dough. You’ll be more famous than even your brother. Doesn’t sound spectacular?” Remus nodded and Dr.Janus placed two firm hands on Remus’ shoulders.

“I can do that,” Remus nodded, now sure of what he had to do. 

“Good boy. One thing, however.” Dr.Janus placed his hands on the necklace and lifted it up. Remus shuddered as he looked down at his hands again. Callused and worn, unlike his brother’s smooth ones. 

“Don’t take this necklace off or the illusion will fail. Alright?” He slipped the necklace back around Remus’ neck and he nodded. He smirked and ran a hand through his brother’s soft, brown hair. 

“Let’s do this.” 

(~~~~) 

Logan sighed as he rested his hands on the balcony railing. He watched as a glowing prince made his way down the stairs to the partygoers. Of course, once he did, Patton was the first to greet him. Logan sighed. He didn’t get the obsession people had with this prince. 

“I know. I look absolutely hideous in that outfit.” Logan jumped back as he looked to his left where the voice came from. 

“Who said that??” he looked around worriedly. All he saw was a frog sitting on the balcony railing. 

“Over here, monsieur.” Logan looked at the frog. 

“I need to sit down. I think there was something in that drink. There is NO WAY a frog is talking to me” Logan gripped the railing as he appeared to turn a bit pale. 

“Well think again. It is I, Prince Roman” The frog hopped closer to Logan. 

“No- the great Prince Roman is out there dancing with Patton Hudson.” 

“Pfft! That is not I! That must be someone else.” Logan scoffed. 

“Well then who is it?” 

“I’m not sure. I should have never talked to that man. Now I am a slimy frog while someone is using my body. And they say fairy tales aren’t real-” Logan turned to Roman. 

“Wait what man?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“It was Dr.- something. He had a black hat and yellow gloves-” Logan’s eyes widened. 

“Don’t tell me you’ve been messing with Dr.Janus. Nobody messes with the snake man- everyone knows that.” Dr.Janus had dark magic. You didn’t mess with him. Of course Logan had heard the rumors of strange and unworldly things happening to people that talked to him. 

“Well I just got here 2 days ago and I guess I must have missed that on the brochure.” Roman snapped and  Logan sighed. 

“I feel bad for you, but what can I do about that?” Roman looked down and Logan raised an eyebrow. 

“... you could kiss me. I know it sounds insane, but if this is anything like that children’s story, I need to be kissed to be turned human.” Logan jumped back. 

“You mean that fairytale, the Princess and the Frog? Those are fiction books for children!” 

“Well then do you have a book detailing what to do if you get miraculously turned into a frog by any chance?” Logan sighed. 

“Either way, I’m not kissing a frog. No way Even if you weren’t a frog I wouldn’t kiss you. I just met you.” Roman let out a scoff. 

“I am not that ugly!” 

“I never said you were ugly.” Logan said flaty. 

“So you think I’m cute?” Roman wiggled his eyebrows and Logan felt a heat rise to his cheeks. 

“No-NO- I never said you were cute either-” 

“But you think it,” Roman smirked. 

“You are really arrogant, you know that?” Roman blinked. “And stupid, too. It means self-centered.” Roman mouthed an ‘oh’. 

“I am not arrogant! I am gorgeous!”

“Well if not that then you sure are stupid. I’m not the one that got myself turned into a frog.”

“Speaking of that-” Roman cleared his throat. 

“No, for the last time I am not kissing you.” 

@subtlereferencetomyinterests

[pandawritespoorly]

With Time: Chapter 14 - Notifying

Author’s Note: Oh, this was a long week. I get to post today though!

Warning for strong language, 'fucking' and 'bullshit'.

Chapter Summary: Ladybug lets everyone know about the changes to the team.

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Ladybug and Chat Noir are sitting on the Eiffel Tower, looking over the city. They’ve finished their individual patrols and are sitting together as they think. It’s been a few weeks since Marinette spoke to Fu about Rena Rouge and Carapace, and Ladybug has been avoiding mentioning it to Chat Noir. He’ll be disappointed, she’s sure of it. He liked them, and he’ll finally realize that she’s a terrible leader. She can’t keep putting it off though. It’ll be December in a little more than a week and they’ll need assistance. He needs to know.

“Chat?” Ladybug doesn’t look to him, focusing intently on the Parisian rooftops instead.

“Yes?” He looks at her carefully, but she still doesn’t look at him. She’s wringing her hands and rubbing her wrist, thinking about what to say.

“I- We-... We can’t call on Rena Rouge and Carapace anymore-”

“Okay.”

“I know that they got the job done, and they were popular, but I just can’t- I mean-”

“Hey, Bug, it’s fine-”

“I know they didn’t do anything wrong, so it’s kind of wrong for me to kick them off the team, but I-” Her eyes well up with tears for a moment, but she blinks them away just as quickly as they show up.

He reaches out to her gently, “Hey-”

She clenches her hands into fists, staring into her lap, “I can’t- I wouldn’t be able to work with them- and I know that they didn’t do anything wrong at all, but I- I just-” She covers her face with her hands, her fingers digging into her skin. Her voice is muffled now, “I-”

He cuts her off, gently removing her hands from her face, “Bugaboo, it’s fine. If you don’t trust them anymore, then they don’t deserve a miraculous.”

“No! I should trust them! They- they didn’t do anything wrong. They’re good people. They were right. I-”

“Ladybug. Look at me.” She turns to him, fighting a losing battle against her eyes, which have welled up again, “If you don’t trust them, then I’m sure you have good reason.”

“I don’t! Just my own stupid-”

“Hey! What did I say about talking bad about my partner? Let’s start simply. Do you trust them anymore?” She shakes her head, looking ashamed and disappointed. He wants to address that, but one thing at a time.

“Would you be able to fight an akuma with them?”

She shakes her head again, looking down.

“Then it’s settled. They can’t have a miraculous anymore. They were temporary heroes as a test. They didn’t pass, so we move on to find others.”

“...But I should have tried harder… I just- I don’t know where I went wrong!”

“Are sure you went wrong?”

She pauses. This hasn’t occurred to her, or at least not for a while, and she gives the thought a moment’s consideration. That would mean that her classmates were wrong - that they abandoned and turned on her for no reason. That… that hurts. The tears finally spill over silently. 

It would also mean there’s nothing she can do to prevent this in the future. Nothing at all. She could be stuck in an infinite loop of pain and torn friendships.

No. Her old friends were right. It is the only thing that makes sense. She must have done something wrong. When she figures out what it was, she can finally correct it so that she doesn’t lose anyone again.

“Yes.” She speaks with certainty, but a seed has been planted in her mind. She won’t be the one to water it though - just looking at it hurts.

He sighs. Chat really doubts that’s the facts, but without knowing the situation, he has no ammo to fight her with, “What about Chloe?”

There’s no need to keep digging into the past right now.

“I’m not sure… I think the bee will move on too, but…” she trails off

“But what?”

“But, she’s actually working to improve. I think that if we really needed someone, we could go to her. I think she’s used the miraculous to grow as a person… and we should do our best to allow that to continue.” Her tears are gone now, and she’s staring out at their city again. He can tell she’s put some thought into this.

“I think that you’re right. She certainly seems to have grown.” Maybe a little distracted recently, but she’d told Adrien she’s planning something, “What about new heroes? Maybe your new friends?” He remembered a few days after Coolest Dad, he’d asked during patrol how she was doing and to his horror she’d started crying a little. It was only when he had seen her small smile that he’d realized that they were tears of joy. Apparently her friends had called her their friend when they didn’t know she was around.

She’d been just so happy that they actually considered her a friend, and as great as it had been to see her so delighted, it was saddening that it was such a surprise to her.

“I’m not sure I should just choose friends anymore…”

“If that’s what you think, then how do you want to choose?” “Fu said I should look for people who already act like a hero. So I guess I’ll be on the watch for good people and look into them from there?” She rests her head on his shoulder, “I’m not really sure?”

He nods, putting an arm around her as a cool breeze goes by. He waits a moment then asks, “Are you going to tell them that they aren’t heroes anymore?”

He knows it could upset her to even think about confronting her old friends, but he’s found that as she grows more tired with the cold she sometimes is too tired to dwell long on how she feels, it makes it easier for her to think about. Sometimes it makes her more emotional though, so baby steps.

She yawns, “I dunno’?”

Or, of course, she’s sleepy and entirely unable to focus.

“Ladybug?”

“Probably. I… don’t wanna’ surprise them bad.”

“‘Surprise them bad’? Interesting way to phrase it.”

“I meant… like… a bad surprise?” She hasn’t quite slipped into the full hibernating-ladybug mindset she gets during the winter, so her sleepiness is getting in the way of her attempts to convey her thoughts.

“I figured. You know what I think?” He looks over at her, watching her fight a losing battle against the cold. He’s purring quietly, but she probably hasn’t noticed.

“Wha’ you th- thee-” She trips over the enunciation before she gives up, knowing he’ll understand it.

“I think that you need to go home.” He boops her nose with his other arm. She wrinkles her nose at him.

“Noo I don’. I-” She’s cut off by a yawn, “... okay.”

She can’t see his victorious grin as she straightens, readying her yo-yo to head back home. He watches until she’s on less dangerous rooftops before he heads back to his house.

---

Marinette is looking droopy. She barely paid any attention in her classes, and so far her lunch has been untouched - her bag not even opened. Her friends are a little worried, but seeing as it’s around 0° (32℉) they figure she’s just sleepy. They aren’t planning on commenting on it in case she feels embarrassed. 

Then Marinette slumps further and instead of falling over onto Claude she starts to fall the other way off of the table.

“Woah! Hey, wrong way, Mari!” Claude grabs her gently and has her rest on his side. She mumbles something about rules.

The group misunderstands, and Allan says, “ ‘Nette, we’re not in class. It’s not against the rules to fall asleep at lunch.”

She tired girl doesn’t say anything more, and the conversation moves on. As she fights against the cold, she thinks back to the conversation she had with her partner last night.

She really should get around to talking to Chloe, and Nino… and Alya. They deserve to know.

Chloe won’t be so bad, but the other two… those are scary. Those are terrifying. They’ll be upset, they’ll hate her even more. 

She wants to postpone it as long as possible, but time has probably run out. By early December she’ll be running mostly on ladybug instincts, and won’t be able to reliably convey the message well. Chat can’t know who they are due to secret identity reasons, so it’s up to her.

She probably should have done it last week, or the week before that. At this point she’s barely able to stand straight and is already forgetting to eat and drink. She’ll have to go after school.

She suddenly thinks the school day should be longer.

Claude nudges her gently. She glances up at him blearily, “Sorry to bother you, Mari, but you should probably eat something. That’s what lunch is for! You know, there was a mathematician who couldn’t afford lunch-”

Allegra cuts in, “Don’t-”

“-he could binomial.” He shoots a mischievous grin at Allegra and she sighs defeatedly.

Marinette has finally opened her lunch box and is eating her lunch quietly. They had to remind her to eat. Would they be mad?

Probably not, because the group had been able to move onto their conversation. Then again, they’d had to pause the conversation in the first place. 

She’d mark this as a thing she only maybe messed up. 

---

Ladybug lands on Chloe’s balcony, standing for a moment before knocking on the window to get the girl’s attention. She glances up and does a double take when she realizes who exactly is at her door. She stands and rushes over quickly, ushering the hero inside.

“Ladybug! What are you doing here?!” Chloe offers the heroine a seat, “Do you want me to call up something?”

“No, no. I just needed to talk to you. It’s about Queen Bee…” Chloe’s room is certainly warmer than the outside, and Ladybug definitely appreciates that.

“Yes?” She sounds nervous as she takes a seat across from Ladybug.

“We… I- There’s some changes being made to our back-up heroes. Rena Rouge and Carapace are retired. That much is final. They… they won’t be returning to the team. Ever.”

Chloe can hear the grief in her role model’s voice and wonders what led to this. It’s not her place to ask though, so all she says is, “I’m sorry.”

Ladybug shakes her head slightly, “Anyways. Queen Bee is a different case. I do think that the bee miraculous will be going to another eventually, but I can see that it has allowed you to grow as a person, and I’m proud of you. I think that, if I ever needed the bee - whether before I find a new holder, or if something happens once I- we do - then I would go to you. I think that you are worthy of the bee miraculous.” She’s barely finished speaking when she gets tackled. Chloe is hugging her and has tears in her eyes.

“Thank you.”

“What?” She’d just taken away one of the few things that Chloe really wanted, and she’s being thanked?

Chloe backs off, clearing her eyes, “It means a lot that you’re- you’re proud of me. You think I’m worthy of a miraculous, even if you are moving onto someone else.”

“I, um, thank you for understanding.” This went so much easier than she thought, especially considering it’s Chloe she’s talking to. They walk back to the balcony.

“Actually, Ladybug? Could I ask you a favor? Or like, two favors?”

“What kind of favors?” This could end poorly after all it would seem.

“Um, sometime - it doesn’t have to be soon, just when it works for you - could I maybe… say goodbye to Pollen? If it’s stupid to ask then-”

“No, that’s fine. I understand. When I get the chance, I’ll try to stop by.”

“Thank you. Pollen just…” The blonde trails off, but Ladybug understands. If she had to be away from Tikki for so long and then found out Tikki was going to someone else…

“And the second one?” The unknown condition continues to worry her.

“It’s… more complicated. I’m working on something, and I think if you were involved, it could be… better? I get it if it’s utterly ridiculous to ask of you because I don’t know anything super specific, but I’d appreciate it.”

That’s vaguely ominous, but Ladybug is somewhat curious, “I think you should talk to me when you have information. We can figure it out then.”

Chloe nods, and Ladybug swings away.

Chloe texts Adrien excitedly, she needs another Ladybug fan to freak out with. Ladybug is proud of her. 

---

Ladybug taps lightly on the window, as she hangs outside of Nino’s room. He looks over and smiles when he sees who it is. He opens the window, leaning out slightly to talk to her.

“Dude! I didn’t know there was an akuma! Need some Carapace?” He looks so excited and her heart sinks further.

“Actually, no. Um, this is about Carapace, but… it’s not what you’re thinking.” She’s nervous, but he doesn’t seem to notice it.

He looks confused for a moment then elated shock takes over, “Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Are you giving me my miraculous permanently?!” 

Oh. Oh no. She thought it couldn’t get worse, but now it has. He looks so overjoyed and it’s all about to come crashing down. She can’t back down now though.

“No. Um, you’re not going to like it.” 

His face falls, and he looks concerned, “Oh. Is something wrong?”

“Yes. Chat and I-” Lies. Chat only followed what you suggested. Don’t drag him into this, “We’ve been reconsidering those that we call on as temporary holders, and… we don’t think Carapace can be on the team anymore. I’m sorry, but this- this is final.”

His earlier expression has been flipped entirely. He looks crushed, on the verge of tears, “What? Why?” His voice is shaky and she has to force her voice to be level.

Look what you’ve done now. You’re hurting him. And why? For yourself? You messed up and now you’re scared of facing anyone who reminds you of that? Are you happy now?!

“It’s complicated, but this is why we didn’t give the miraculous out permanently at first. Nothing was set in stone. I’m sorry.”

You stupid, wretched fool. Are you really sorry about this? Or is this what you wanted all along?

“Oh. Okay. I’m sorry. Thanks for letting me know.” He turns, and begins to shut the window. Something occurs to her.

“Nino?” He turns back and just the look on his face hurts her soul, “Could you not tell A-Alya yet? I’d prefer she find out in person…”

He nods sullenly, quiet, and shuts the window completely. It’s just about dark out and Ladybug wants to go home and just break down.

But she has one more to go.

Alya.

---

Ladybug sits on a rooftop parallel to Alya’s for some time. She really doesn’t want to do this, but she doesn’t really have a choice anymore. The alternative is for Alya to find out tomorrow at school and that will definitely cause an akuma. 

No, she has to do this now.

She knocks on the window, Alya eagerly opens it up, “Ladybug! Are you here for an interview? In need of a fox in your life maybe?”

“No.” Alya gets a concerned look on her face at the flat tone in the heroine’s voice.

“Oh, what is it then?”

“It’s about you. You being Rena Rouge.”

The monotony of her voice keeps Alya from getting too excited, but there’s some hope in the journalist’s voice when she asks, “Are you giving my miraculous to me?”

Ladybug shakes her head, “No. You- You can’t be Rena Rouge anymore.”

“What? Like my name right? You don’t mean…”

“Alya Césaire, you can not be a holder of a miraculous anymore.” Her voice is lifeless, and it’s taking everything she has to keep it that way.

Alya tears up, “What do you mean?! What did I do wrong?!”

Nothing. I’m just a selfish jerk.

“It’s just the facts. We only had the miraculouses out temporarily in case someone didn’t work out. That’s what happened here.”

“No!” Alya gets in her face, shouting as tears stream down her face, “No! Being a hero has always been my dream! I deserve to know why! I was a good hero, you can’t just tell me that ‘this is the way it is’ you hear me?! I want some fucking answers!”

“The factors that led to you being chosen have changed.”

“Bullshit! I deserve real answers! This isn’t fair to me!” It isn’t. I know it isn’t and I’m sorry, but I can’t compromise my secret identity.

She isn’t going to hold up the facade much longer, she feels everything welling up inside her, and chokes out an, “I’m sorry.” before she goes to the roof. She continues suppressing it, waiting there a few moments in case an akuma comes, before she turns in the direction of the Eiffel Tower. It’s dark now, and she’d tired, cold, and an emotionally exhausted mess. She just wants to rest. She just wants her partner.

She could call him, but she doesn’t want to bother him, so she’ll just wait at the tower. If he comes out he’ll find her there and won’t be forced into dealing with her idiocy. 

She sits on their high platform and curls into a ball with her head in her knees, wrapping her arms around her legs. Now that she’s not near Alya, she’s allowed to cry-

Wait. No. No, she’s not. That’s the rule. She forgot again

You dense imbecile.

 Rule #1: Don’t cry.

 Stupid stupid stupid stupidstupidstupid…

The hateful train of thought keeps running through her head, gaining steam and making her want to cry even more.

She really hopes Chat will show up.

She really hopes he won’t.

She sits alone like that for another moment, the wind and cold blowing past the distraught girl as she put all her effort into not crying.

So focused on her task, she doesn’t notice the soft footfalls approaching her.

“Oh, Bug.” The voice sits next to her, but she doesn’t register it, “My Lady, you could have told me. You didn’t have to do this alone.” She’s pulled into a tender hug, and finally notices her partner next to her.

“K-kitty?” Her voice breaks with his heart. He can hear the pain in her and wishes she would allow herself to acknowledge it. She’s holding back her tears and her grief and it’s not doing her any good.

“Ladybug. You talked to Rena and Carapace didn’t you?” He’d figured it out shortly after Chloe had stopped texting Adrien. If Ladybug had talked to Chloe, then it only made sense that the next two would follow. He understands he couldn’t have talked to them in her place, but he could have been nearby for support.

She didn’t need to carry the world alone.

“Mon minou, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” The heartbreak in her voice is terrible, and he wishes it wasn’t a familiar sound.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He hugs her tighter, as if that can single-handedly fix everything. 

If only it were so easy.

“I do. I’m a terrible no-good ab-” Chat cuts her off. 

“No. We’ve been over this. You are my amazingly talented and beautiful partner. ‘No-good’? What do you call all you’ve done for the city then? ‘Terrible’? We looked up the definition, and ‘distressingly bad’ does not describe you. Ladybug, you are many things, but you are not those things.”

He can see the tears welling up in her eyes, the way she tries to fight them off.

“Do you know what else we’ve been over? You-” He pokes her gently, “Are allowed to cry. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

That does it, she finally returns the hug as she clings to him desperately while she sobs quietly. He holds her soothingly, doing his best to comfort her.

When she falls quiet as the chill finally gets to her, he reminds her that she should head back to her home. She nods, going on her way as he heads to his own house.

---

Author’s Note: Oh boy, she did it! She faced them, even if it was for very little.

It would seem Chloe is planning something. Who knows!

The next few chapters will certainly be interesting, to say the least. Also, we're getting into winter!

The writer's block has finally gotten to me. I'm chapters ahead, so it won't slow updates down, but that paired with the very long and tiring week I've had has really slowed my pace. Again, it won't slow updates, but I'd really appreciate any comments you have for me! Thanks for reading, and constructive criticism is welcomed in the comments below! Any comments really, I love seeing the notification!

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[nordic-language-love]

Quarantine Questions

Tagged by @languagessi - thank you so much! 💜

1. Are you staying home from work/school? I am indeed

2. If you’re staying home, who’s there with you? My boyfriend

3. Do you have pets to keep you company? Yesss two cats

4. Who do you miss the most? Ehhh no one, I don’t really miss people. I’m quite introverted and I always have too much to do to start missing people (it makes me super uncomfortable when people say they miss me because I never feel the same way - I think I might be broken lol)

5. When was the last time you left your home? Uhh... Wednesday I think? I went to the shop to pick up various supplies

6. What was the last thing you bought? Just groceries

7. Is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed? It’s pretty chill tbh, I’m enjoying having time to get things done

8. Are you a homebody? I guess

9. What movies have you watched recently? I never watch movies lol, I couldn’t even tell you what the last movie I watched was. We’ve been getting through B99 though.

10. An event that you were looking forward to that got cancelled? At the moment, nothing, although I’m pretty sad for my friend who’s had to reschedule her wedding. If this shit is still going on in November and I have to cancel my trip to Norway though, I will probably cry

11. What’s the worst thing that you’ve had to cancel? Our studio opening. It’s literally ready to go, it’s so beautiful, I was so excited to move in aaaand now we’ve gotta wait, waaaah

12. What’s the best thing you’ve had to cancel? I’ll be honest, there are quite a few social events I’m genuinely relieved have been postponed.

13. Do you have any new hobbies? No, although I’ve dabbling in a few old ones

14. What are you out of? Plain flour. Well, I’ve got a little, but not enough to make much with. Got some self-raising though.

15. What music are you listening to? Danheim. Gimme those viking vibes

16. What are you reading? Bartimaeus: Ptolomy’s Gate (in English and Norwegian)

17. What are you doing for self-care? I guess yoga? I’ve never been into yoga and I’m not even sure it is yoga but I’ve been doing more flow-y stretching with a focus on my state of mind and breathing and just doing what feels good rather than pushing my body. Which feels like yoga. But I’ve taken 3 yoga classes in my life (and hated them all) and it doesn’t feel like that.

18. Are you exercising? Yep, almost daily. Can’t afford to slack off!

19. How’s your toilet paper supply? It’s fine - I picked up a 9-pack on my way back from my skiing holiday and my boyfriend had also picked up a 4-pack earlier that day. Then the day after everyone panic-bought toilet roll lmao.

20. Have you made any changes to your hair during quarantine? Omg my hair is horrible atm. It was due to be dyed again but obvs that’s not happening now and I have the wooorst roots.

Tagging: Anyone who wants to do this! Consider yourself tagged ;)

[swiftiemcdibbles]

Where have I been?

Hey guys! I know it's been a while since I've made, posted anything on here. ((I did FINALLY start a @taylorswift fan based Instagram, it's the same handle, SwiftieMcDibbles, but even that was very recent)) So, not like anyone cares, here's a life update I guess.

I DID have to end up selling my Lover Fest West tickets, and cried about it in the dark for a couple of nights. I feel like I broke a promise to my son, I did explain why to him and since he is the most understanding, sweet boy he was a little disappointed but understood. I have full faith I will take him to see her live one day. It is crushing though to know that because of financial problems I couldn't deliver, I knew we couldn't afford a trip from South Carolina to California, with hotel costs, food, etc. So I had to do it. And that's that. And no, I did not make any money off of them, I sold them at the price I bought them, I can't believe people think its normal to buy tickets for a couple hundred dollars and then re-sell them for THOUSANDS literally, it's kind of gross so just don't do it.

So when my fiance was deployed, about 4 months in we decided for me to stop working. I've gone back to school to become a lawyer and between that and suddenly being a "single mom", while he was gone, was just too much. I have, yes I've been diagnosed for years now, Socialized Anxiety Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder and Bipolar 1(which is WAY different than Bipolar that people think they know). On top of that, my other illness is also an invisible one and that is Rhuematoid Arthritis, which is an autoimmune disease/deficiency. So A LOT of my days are filled with pain and worry and panic. I take my medications as well as natural remedies but it can only do so much, there is no cure. As I've gotten older, I'm 33, the Rhuematoid keeps getting worse. I'm quarantined now, because my immune system is at risk with the Coronavirus. So, since mid March, I've been at home with a Kindergartner, trying to home school and stay healthy. I'm extremely concerned about Coronavirus, and that people are not taking this seriously. I wish it would not be compared to other viruses or illnesses, but it is. Please, I beg you stay home. If you stay home, you're not spreading it. And you could save lives.

The real kicker in this too, is RIGHT before this pandemic, back in February it became apparent I needed to go back to work. My fiance made more while overseas, which is why I stopped working. And it was always just until he got home and settled. I was AGGRESSIVELY looking for a job in my field, then started looking for any job. It then became clear that COVID-19 was more serious than initially thought so guess what? No one is hiring. Bills are piling up, and accounts are dwindling. I've had to ask my parents for help a lot and they have when they could but they are feeling this economy as well.

So now, I'm cleaning houses when I can and doing anything to get through. Probably start selling some stuff soon. It's really rough right now, but we will pull through. All of us will. My son's birthday was March 26th and thank God we bought stuff for him over time so that we weren't having to spend money we don't have for him to have a good birthday. However, his party was set for tomorrow. At a local lake that has a big park and two big docks to fish off of, because he wanted a Marvel vs. DC fishing party(the mind of a then 5 year old boy is always wonderous). So yet again, he had to be told something we planned for was either postponed or not gonna happen. Once again, he's fine, so resilient. I hope it's just postponed because its paid for and with all the parks closed I can't get in contact with anyone there to see what the deal is. We could use that money!

So yeah, life is rough. I'm homeschooling my son while taking courses online myself. I'm going stir crazy, my depression is pretty bad at the moment. I just feel like I'm not holding up my side of things. All the financial burden is on my fiance and I feel terrible for that. He's considering selling his truck, that he JUST got in January because he NEEDED a new car, well it's a 2012 but new to us. I will literally die before I let him do that, this man works so hard. He's National Guard so he works a civilian job and then has to drill. The way his schedule works is he is LUCKY to get 2 SATURDAYS a month off, and that's it. So of course, I feel worthless which makes all the mental health issues I have way worse.

So yup, that's where I've been. In a dark place I'm really hoping will lighten up soon.

I truly hope everyone is doing ok. I know times are scary and hard but just be patient and do what your leaders are telling you to do as far as the Coronavirus is concerned. Love you guys! If you get too down, just throw on a Taylor album and escape for a minute, it's what has helped me.

@taylorswift you are an inspiration right now, and all the time. What you're doing to help those in need is remarkable and you have stayed the epitome of class throughout the entire past 4 years when basically half the world thought you were a liar. And instead of rejoicing in your victory, you took the spotlight away from that call and put in on The World Health Organization. Way to go! Hope your anxieties are not too bad right now, hope your Mom is doing well, everyone else too. Ok, I'm done now lol.