#gonna be so funny when im wrong except im not

[miscreantahead]

Ppl are like "they wouldn't include characters from the old podcast in the new one because they said you don't have to listen to the old one" and I I I I

Sorry you're right every media ever opens by describing every characters birth circumstances and life up to this point and including any characters that appear in other media or had undocumented lives in the canon is bad writing and makes the text incomprehensible.

On the whole we need to remember "don't need to listen to the first one" just means "this one can stand on its own as a story" and not "no elements of the original will be included."

[arom-antix]

I bring to thee some quick late night Viktuuri sketches because I think we could all use some fluff

[todayisafridaynight]

one day ill stop treating aoki like he was a guy i personally knew that died but todays not that day

[hella1975]

dabi’s had like 5 mins of screentime and ive already made a playlist for him this is embarrassing like this is actually embarrassing

[raredrop]

i know its bc of how the mod works and getting a single player game to become multiplayer but the god dang wild glitches and bugs we encountered in playing skyrim with two people is somehow even more impressive than the amount i can see in the same amount of time playing skyrim the way todd wanted

[kuiinncedes]

fucking finally tested my code and it worked 🥳

[bopbobpbobpbobpbobpbobpb]

Sleepover gone wrong on noesss

Writing underneath

It had all started so well. Simple plan. Simple. Plan.

Step one: become unpossesed

Step two: sleepover

Step three: pie

Step four: wait for mom to go to sleep then get out the ouja board and play fun sleepover games!!!!! Thats how it works!!!! Kris would know!! They've had plenty of sleepovers with Azzy, Noelle and

Step five: have fun and go sleep. (Kris would NOT be sharing everyone else has to sleep somewhere else)

That was the plan!!

It had started of so well. Kris had entered the room and Susie and Berdly, well did what They always did. Argue. It was friendly though!! They always do that it was normal. Noelle suggested truth or dare (a classic) and it was going well!! Bonding!! With friends!!! Kris had missed this. They had missed having so many people in their life, shouting amd screaming, having fun until they were too loud and Toriel had come into their room and remind them to be a little quieter. They had missed laughing and being "sneaky", talking about the most random things and playing little games. They had missed the noise and the warmth of the ones close to you just simply being there. Kris had finally resolved everything with Noelle Berdly and Susie. Until they just made that shit go crashing down.

One thing had led to another. Berdly truthed susie to tell something. Susie got defensive. Things got heated. They both lashed out. Noelle tried to diffuse the situation. Berdly said something. Noelle got pissed. Berdly said something. It struck a nerve. Kris saw red.

The whole room had stared at Kris in shock. Kris's eyes widened. No. No. They didn't mean that they didn't mean tha- Berdly rushed out. Eyes suspiciously shiny. There were only three of them left. Kris, Noelle and Susie. All of them could only stare dumbly at eachother. Shit SHIT. Kris CAN'T go back to before they CAN'T they CAN'T. Panic rose. Kris had just made up with Berdly and they immediately ruined it. Kris went after Berdly, determined to make things right again.

Except ...

Kris stood at the doorway, frozen. How do they do this? Their breathing got funny. WWAD What would Asriel do? He was good at this sort of thing wasn't he? But.. Asriel wasn't there. Only an idiot human and a crying bird on the footsteps. Kris thought about what to say. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it .you're my friend. I love you. Kris flushed no they could NOT say that don't be an idiot. No they had to say what they were sorry about right? Like uh: Im sorry i-

"are you just gonna stand there"

Kris flinched. Berdly sighed and continued looking away form Kris.

"I'm sorry" Kris could only say.

Berdly ignored them. Kris sat down on the steps next to Berdly.

"I didn't mean it" Kris looked down, avoiding eye contact.

"It's not true"

There was a silence.

"But what if it is" Berdly's voice cracked. Kris looked up in shock.

"What if I am" Berdly burried his face in his wings

" I AM a forgettable little bluebird and when I die no one will care because I have done nothing in life and I'm not exceptional at all and I was so mean and I -"

"No."

"What do you mean no?"

"Berdly I was being a dumb shit who got mad and took things too far you ARE NOT foegettable you ARE exceptional and if you died I would be really sad and track down your murderer and kill them and you're my friend and i love yo-" shit shit shit shit.

Berdly faced Kris.

"What"

"What"

"What did you just say"

"If you died I would be sad and kill your murderer"

"No after that"

"You're my friend??"

"No the one after that"

"That was it"

"KRIS STOP GASLIGHTING ME"

"I'm not??"

Berdly laughed. Kris could not help but grin a little at the sight. Suddenly they stiffened the birb hugged them tightly.

"I love you too kris"

Suddenly there were two idiots crying that night.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Hello. And I NEED your take on this. Okay, so you know that Angel, Alastor, and Vaggie are the consistent core people she's paired with in official arts/merch. And how 2/3rds of the Vees have warped, toxic sexual interests in them. Vox having a one-sided crush on Alastor and Val being sexually abusive to Angel. Here's my prediction: Velvette will develop a similar toxic "affection" for Vaggie. Thoughts?

Charlie's gonna kill her.

(poor Vaggie, isn't Lute being obsessed with her enough????)

(fans of the V's im sorry i killed them off at some point during this, i do NOT want them dead in canon, pls read with care or scroll past thank u)

Set up: why Velvette would notice Vaggie at all-

Hey look, two woman who want to fight heaven and are the manager / backbone of their respective social group. More abrasive than charming, blunt and straight forward- if Velvette's a little in love with herself then maybe she sees a bit of herself in the angel that heaven scarred and thinks hmmmmm, potential alliance time~ Maybe she picks up on Vaggie's self hatred and takes it personally, bitch how dare you not fucking love yourself, girls like us are fucking BADASS just ditch the stupid moral high ground self flagellation crap and embrace the urge to flip all the shit, fuck up the old world order and MAKE a new one!

And or if we're going off the vibes that Velvette's rivalry with Carmilla is more personal / hate crush in territory, then add the whole thing of Carmilla bonding with Vaggie bc of how similar they are in some ways (sharing TWO motivation songs about fighting for the people they love) then hell, maybe Velvette is jelly of Vaggie first, seeing the interest Carmilla has in her, the RESPECT Carmilla shows her. Maybe she was pissed seeing someone so like HERSELF falling in step with CARMINE's old crowd. So Velvette marks Vaggie as a target and Carmine weak spot, an example to be made or a play piece to snatch....

aaaaaand then that spirals into Velvette also noticing how similar the two are, except VAGGIE has an even shorter temper, less experience with manipulations, is a much worse liar- which makes her like, an easier and more instantly gratifying version of Carmilla. While ALSO still being a Carmine weak spot. Two for one!

Or maybe it's just another emotionally constipated violent attachment to Vaggie.

Maybe Velvette and Lute could start a Fuck Vaggie hate group. And neither of them knows for sure which way they mean it.

Side idea about the V's theme naming, and Vaggie's trend of having HER name said wrong: imagine Velvette trying to hide her interest by calling Vaggie a nickname like… Aggie or… Argent or Agatha. Deliberately avoiding her actual name- maybe later enjoying how that gets Vaggie riled up, gets her attention on Velvette a little in SOME way.

V's and their A's, yeah? Kinda funny

Anyway, to address the Charlie in the room-

Charlie barely held back on hell fire cooking Valentino- who had the safeguard of owning shares in Angel Dust's soul and that whole messy history to save him from her (for now). Lute got Demon Charlie Deathglare treatment while disarmed and crying, just bc Charlie was holding her gf and presumably THINKING about what Lute did / tried to do to Vaggie.

But Velvette's not safely up in heaven and doesn't so far have any claim on a soul Charlie specifically cares about. An overlord like HER tries anything with Charlie's girlfriend? Makes Vaggie scowl with flirty looks, maybe tries an unnecessary touch during a meeting with the overlords... WANTS to see Vaggie lose it just like Lute did- (doesn't actually like Vaggie as she is, wants something from her, that part of herself Vaggie is trying hard to move past)-

Mm. Death. I think death would be hard to avoid. Just as like a kneejerk protective reaction thing.

Charlie did not hold her girlfriend's freshly stabbed through hand after the hotel battle just to sit quietly and not set fire to stuff when someone else tries messing with Vaggie again. She did not yell at all of heaven's ruling angels just to bite her tongue and play nice for some uppity sinners down in hell. She's their princess. They'll all edge back a step when she tells Velvette to kindly Back. Off.

honestly an AU where Charlie kills / tries to kill someone in a blind protective rage (think her right after Pentious' death) would be pretty juicy...

I feel like this AU wants to become a dark comedy tho

heck, we could go full symmetry and have each of the As eventually kill off one of the Vs, but not their own.

Porn star Angel Dust knocking off Vox and winning his TV empire. The irony. He knows enough about good scripts to've had his soul crushed by Charlie's adorably horrible attempts at it. And Angel Dust would make a great TV host personality. Now he can make all of hell see his smug-ass face as well as his amazing holes. Gods can you imagine him with a TALK SHOW???? Doing interviews? Diva Angel Dust's self esteem TV masterclasses- how to love the loser you are and lose the lovers who don't respect ya. HOW does he kill Vox- idk... maybe Vox was about to tear through Husk to weaken Alastor and Angel Dust threw a drink over his TV head, smashed him with a bottle from the bar, then stomped on him with the heavenly steel stilettos he commissioned from Carmilla. Why not.

Alastor finds out the Vs tried / are trying to use Niffty against the hotel and him, doesn't wanna give Vox the satisfaction of being the one to kill him, doesn't see Val as enough of a threat to bother with, takes out Velvette instead. Probably using Niffty to do it, for it's own kind of irony. Niffty is now a social media manage! She posts dead rat pics and cochroach hunt livestreams from a go pro on her head, and it creeps out hell at first but people slowly get honestly drawn into it, start naming the dead rats, making them fan pages... posting hearts emojis in the pest control live stream chats- suddenly this dead former brainwashed housewife has thousands of online fans who love her weird creepy af interests and are eagerly LISTENING to HER while she posts about knifes and poison and tips on taxidermy stitching. Eventually she get a stuffed Vox as the centerpiece of her Bad Boy shrine now and Alastor is a little hurt and envious of this.

Vaggie kills Val. Yes I am just saying that bc I want her soaking up his dead demon butterfly energy and getting her moth motif for real. She'd wear that fluffy ruff WAY better than him, in my gay opinion. If I have to make another excuse tho, let's say Val gets real pissed and panicky about the hotel being rebuilt and the increasing number of public disses that Angel Dust's been throwing at him- so he's making those studio moments LITERAL hell, the hotel crew picks up on it, CHARLIE picks up on it.... confrontation, Vaggie's there this time, stops Demon Charlie from skewering Val in a blind fiery rage to keep her gf from being a FULL OUT murderer... comes back later, alone. Asks Val one last time to ease up / free Angel Dust. Answer is no, and, she kills him. Tells him she's killed tons of people more innocent than him. Tells him, he's too dangerous to keep around- for Angel Dust yeah but mainly for Charlie, he's putting her gf at risk of doing something terrible- so Vaggie will do it for her. Stab.

We can squeeze some angst out of that. More passive secrets / not actively told lies to Charlie, not volunteering the fact she killed him... eventually HAVING to admit to it so she can undo the soul pact she inherited from him with Angel Dust (maybe has to work on slowly rebuilding that friendship after promising him she wouldn't let Chalrie kill Val, only to technically keep the word but break the meaning when SHE kills Val instead), and all the other enslaved souls- that little fact of who protects and employs all Val's people now, with him gone? Who keeps his turf?

Maybe Cherri Bomb steps up (is the only one Angel Dust can stomach and trust with his old life and the slow changing of it), trades the souls with Vaggie for a promise not to hurt them, becomes the new overlord to the sinners too suspicious of the hotel to accept a broken contract (an overlord who has your soul has a personal interest in vaguely caring if you stay alive) but gives them free rein to fuck off and work for Carmine, or in Rosie Emporium, or Angel Dust's new media company, or check in at the hotel- whatever really- while she guards the new turf with the rebuilt and repainted airship the last Egg Boi fixed up for her. She ends up with a full crew anyway, all volunteers. Cherri Bomb's buccaneers! Up in heaven Sir Pentious is shedding all the tears of admiration and pride, wailing over not being on her crew himssssself

Maybe Charlie's angry and upset, not with Vaggie but with HERSELF for honestly WANTING Val dead- for knowing Vaggie wasn't wrong about that, had already had to physically stop her from killing him- and why was Val different to her when she could let Adam live? What's WRONG with her- Charlie and the sad, honest heart to heart with Vaggie (physically changed by all this) about how Adam was an impersonal general asshole, part of distant, bigger, uncaring threat, while Val was actively every day hurting one of Charlie's friends. Of course she'd feel different about them. Of course he'd press on her protective nerves in ways Adam didn't.

Vaggie and the sinking, sickening, private feeling she keeps from Charlie- only spills out maybe to Carmilla- that she's scared she's too much like the other angels. How she hears what she said to Val ringing in her head, and she thinks of Sera, culling sinners to save heaven, hiding it from Emily to save her sister the pain (and herself the shame) and is that who Vaggie is? Deep down? Too ready to murder for the sake of those she loves, when she feels it's the RIGHT thing to do? How could she spare Lute, be so ready to keep fighting her, and not Valentino...?

Maybe Carmilla points out to her the same things she said to Charlie, with a twist. How Lute was a danger to Vaggie mainly and she is used to that- but Val was a danger to Charlie in a way Vaggie couldn't easily protect Charlie from, so she got scared and... love isn't a kind or fair thing. It's an edge for them to fight for AND with, shaped by their choices. Next time, Vaggie can choose differently.

(Vox, Val, and Velvette don't get that choice anymore and it's a nauseating thing Charlie and Vaggie won't be able to forget- not because they were any more worth giving a second chance too than any other sinner, but because they just as worth that second chance as anyone else.)

(and now it's gone. They're gone. The fight for redemption is a long backsliding slog for all sides and they'll have to do better, next time)

(they'll have to live with what they've done either way)

Maybe Vaggie wonders what it might have said about Velvette, that she (in this AU) took an interest in people like her and Carmilla. If she was so into shaking things up and challenging the way things are, maybe, if she'd come to the hotel...

maybe there's a world out there somewhere where seeing a bit of herself in Vaggie got Velvette thinking. A bigger picture shake up than just who is top overlord of a shitty hell.

maybe she's never a good person to anyone not useful or important to her, and shit to them anyway half the time, but if ONE of the people in that group IS trying to be good, then, there's a limit to what she'll do too. There'll be at least one moment she drags the Vs kicking and screaming away from delicious revenge and towards something that'll help them all rise up more, in the long term

a broken clock is right twice each day. people who mean badly can do good and helpful things. a one-sided toxic yuri situation can help save a lot of people, maybe

....or just kill a fuck ton of angels. honestly, if said angels are murderous exorcists, vaggie would probably appreciate a gesture like that

she still wouldn't date a friend of Valentino's tho

[blimgus]

Okay since i don't have any funny arts ready yet i would want to rant a little about whb.

First of all, I kinda found out that there is a visible pattern connecting the affiliation to the diffrent parts of Hell of the demons and their types of roles in the battle:

Gehenna- we have typical long range marksmen with Astaroth, Leraye, Paimon and Belial using rifles and Satan and Ppyong using some sort of bazookas(?) The only exception from this rule is Sitri with his Iron Maiden, but that is explained by him being away studying in Hades (correct me if im wrong)

Hades - we have our beloved coffin summoners here as medium range marksmen. Leviathan,Barbietoes, Glasya, Foras and Orias are all coffin users and summoning beasts seeems to be unique to the demons of Hades( God I have to read the orias event bc i forgor to)

Tartaros - Classic defense characters aka tanks. Lower power more health,shielding,becoming invincible for a while, some characters have stalling if i remember??? Every characters design here mostly follows these rules, even though the have diffrent weapons yknow Bimet has the skulls, Valefor a sword and shield, Mammon has the pillars and hands, and eligos has uhmmmmmm

His cuteness. Ok next

Avisos- well here it starts to get interesting. I belive that the demons here are close-ranged attackers? Amon, Nabe and Stolas have their little weapon arsenals and Bael and Bell have their whips However some characters have a really big range for close range attackers ( bloodshed bell) so im not entirely sure about that

Abaddon- Phenix, Dantalian and Ronovè are all close range attackers, but their main role in game is supporting/buffing other characters (ronove/phenix combo carried me through most of main story). I guess we can assume that Asmodeus (bro i cant wait for him in game im gonna become his biggest simp) will have a simmilar role as a buffer/support.What if prettybusy makes him like the equivalence of Bennett from Genshin??

Nilfheim- the most problematic when it came to assigning the certain role until i looked up the characters. Both Gusion and Andrealphus can stun the enemies with their attacks, while Bathin can decrease the speed of enemies.That makes the Nilfheim crew being debuffers,stunners (if I remember mammon can also stun the enemies with his ult?? But he seems to be the only non-nilfheim character to do that)

Paradise Lost- healers my beloved... Buer, Morax and Marbas are all healers so Lucifer will most likely be one too. Gamigin also can revive a character, which is absolutely great when you try to keep your lower levelled characters alive. Really solid characters, i love using them in battle.

I really like that PB made each role in battle unique to residents of specific countries of Hell

Welp thats all for now, next time im making a little rant about the whole hell and the New event

Bye for now!

-cinnamon

[whirlwindofcomplications]

Grill the Grid 2024 : Earliest F1 Winners

topical since we've had two first wins this season!

‘bad bad news’ - oscar

everyone putting lewis at the top immediately ✧ ‘so FEWEST we’ve got LEWIS’ - charles ✧ both charles and zhou going well that’s it then

seeing some of the drivers put themselves right at the bottom...

logan pronouncing it bow tahs.

daniel not being able to talk and stick

zhou criticising the stickiness of the labels

‘EYE am. I will say pretty close to max’ - charles

majority putting max and charles together even if it’s not historically accurate. classic

'fangio bwugh' - alex

most of them think fangio's quite high up but higher than lewis? surely not :0

george straight up calling checo 40 like he isn’t 5 whole years younger than his lewis + mutiple people saying he's been around for a while but not mentioning the geriatrics (I’m not pressed I just think it’s funny) ✧ also checo’s little cough after hearing the 190…

I see u hulkenberg… momentarily rating max above lewis… hulkstappen ftw

charles seemingly on first name basis with everyone. except fangio (michael. lewis. seb. max. jenson. checo. ayrton. daniel. cahlos)

charles’ little smile when she said ‘right on time very good’

‘i've been incredible’ vs ‘so I did terrible thank you very much’ charlos u rock my world

TINY DRIVERS PHOTOS FROM THEIR FIRST WINS ✧ charlos’ just being the official f1 pics... editor why…

charles asking her to go through them all in order. if I speak.

oscar saying ‘kind of sort of but no’ to her ‘kind of sort of yeah’ ✧ ‘but im not gonna get ANY points’ - joint first ✧ aussie lockout for first place for this challenge !

daniel’s ‘im gonna do some quick math’ ‘you’re good at this apparently’ - gets it wrong twice

not me also saying 33 for charles… the lestappen brain rot is real (he won it on his 34th so he’d had 33 races before his first win, and ofc the 33 is the stat I remember)

[zeephyre]

CRITICAL ROLE CAMPAIGN 3 EPISODE 85 SPOILERS

IM LITERALLY ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND YALL

Where do I even ??? start ???

I haven't been posting c3 as the episodes dropped in...a while actually, like right before they went to the feywild. i have many thoughts and many feelings about so many things that have happened since then and I'll summarise them so I can get to THIS episode.

fearne and ashton - love their shard powers, they're literally royalty and terrifying, and i want them to make-out. i can't wait to see them go full primordial again in a real combat situation.

imogen - save her. literally save her. free her, even. i love everything about the call of ruidus when it comes to imogen on a narrative standpoint, but...God I get so worried that we're gonna lose her. I don't mean she's gonna betray the hells, but...ruidus could take her and then i would simply perish.

laudna - before i really get into wtf went down this episode with her and she who must not be named, i gotta say... im worried. very very worried. however, that fireball was objectively the best shit ever.

fcg - i can't even really remember anything stand out abt fcg except what Sam pulled last night so.

chetney - still the heart of the team, still my baby girl, still my favourite. love him to bits.

orym - i think laudna is going to beat his ass one of these days and im... even more concerned about that after this episode. his nana morri powers are cool as fuck tho... does that make him a warlock now? i know he isn't multi-classing but wouldn't that be cool

ANYWAY WE'RE ON THE FUCKING MOON AND WE GOT MOON LORE AND EVERYTHING WAS SHITTY THEN FUN THEN SHITTY THEN FUN AGAIN THEN REALLY FUCKING SAD THEN IT ALL WENT TO SHIT AGAIN.

the moment imogen reached out to ruidus and matt mentioned that she could sense where other ruidusborn were i fucking knew that otohan was high tailing it in their direction, and i thought they instinctively knew that too but they probably got so distracted.

we were travelling for hours and had a huge fight that almost got them captured (not to be confused with the OTHER two fights that almost got them captured) and I was begging and screaming and crying for them to get a long rest safely hidden away AND THEN THEY SPLIT THE PARTY WITH BARELY ANY SPELL SLOTS OR HIT POINTS AFTER BEING DRAINED FROM ANOTHER BATTLE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM

(Sidenote, the willmaster really opened up the door to the further increase in moral pondering in a certain number of hellians. i do think using the harness is disgusting and hypocritical, but i don't condemn them for it, it just...makes me wanna vomit thinking abt what ludinus did with it. not to mention the HUNGER parallels between laudna and ludinus...its just not good yall. also??? objectively funny that fcg seemed weirded out by the idea of killing the willmaster, not just with the harness but in general, considering how many people they've killed up to this point)

idk if its just the inherent terror that an evil old hot lady can inspire that makes otohan so much more terrifying to me than ludinus. like, objectively, ludinus is a worse threat and could wipe them out EASILY but jesus otohan is like the damn reaper to me. it's the trauma from the laudna, fearne, orym massacre mixed with the underlying little drop from their uthodurn romp that let us know that resurrection spells are NOT working and idk if that got fixed bc of time passing or distance from the leylines but i really did not want to test that shit out in real time

thank...god that sam riegel is a damn genius player, that banishment of fcg and fearne was the ONLY reason fcg survived. and thank GOD FOR KEYLETH BECAUSE WITHOUT THAT CLOUD SPELL BELLS HELLS WOULD BE VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY DEAD RN.

God, "otohan has us. run." is going to haunt me just as much, if not more than the almost tpk. it just...shot me straight back to bassuras and the plan to run that just...immediately fell apart.

god fcg truly could have died there. and fearne would be captured. i know the hells would be too stupid and too brave and too loyal to leave fearne with otohan in their cloud form but can you imagine a world where fcg was gone, fearne was captured and the hells had to switch from recon to rescue... itd be stressful but pretty fun.

thankfully it didn't come to that and some good came from the shit.

ruidus is so beautiful. i was worried they'd end being trapped under ruidus while they explored (not that I wasn't on board with the detours, I wish this wasn't a time sensitive mission), but matt's imagery of the fossilized elven structure and garden made me sad but also happy that we got to see it.

i cannot believe that the stupid plan to shove fearne up a water hole happened AGAIN and it ended up with us FINDING A BACK HOLE TO RUIDUS GOD I LOVE THESE CHUCKLEFUCKS WHEN IS THE NEXT EPISODE MATT YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME. WHERE EVEN ARE THEY??? IS IT EVEN EXANDRIA???? WHAT DO WE DO IF IT IS EXANDRIA??? WHERE DID THIS HOLE EVEN COME FROM???? DOES IT CLOSE AND REOPEN??? IS IT STAGNANT?????? IS IT FUCKING STABLE?!?!?!?!?!

God...we could go back to keyleth and the others and actually invade ruidus without encountering the ruby vanguard. (that's if they're alright because otohan did go out onto the battlefield and we don't know what fhe fuck she did when the illusion fell through)

GOD. IS IT THURSDAY YET??? WE HAVENT EVEN FOUND THE RESISTANCE????

[thatdeadaquarius]

About language brainrot. Imagine writer creator reader who finally learns how to write in Teyvat's weird symbols and they want to publish their book. They decided to do it anonymously to avoid the "aaaaaah our creator wrote the holy scripture" sort of situation. Except it didn't work. The reader's style is too different from the rest of the world, so even if they tried to simulate the flowery speech it wasn't effective.

Another thing. Reader who decided to read some local books to practice their reading. They asked for something simple and similar to their speech. But the only books merely similar to it are 2000 and more years old. It's funny how the older text is the more you can understand it. On this note. If reader write something i feel like it would be hard to understand for Teyvat's people.

Imagine a reader who is autistic or has any other NDs imparing their communication skills. They practically trained themselves to say sertain phrases in sertain situation. But it doesn't work in Teyvat. And everything just stacks at each other. Difference in speech, being a God (so people react weirdly to you), bad communication skills, not understanding nonverbal cues and so on. There's gonna be a lot of misunderstanding. I imagine how followers would walk on the eggshells not to upset and angry their God and reader who does the same not to say something people will get wrong. Again.

Reader who regained all their memories of creating Teyvat, they're super powerful and stuff. But they still struggle with the modern language. Because all the memories are like millions years old.

✨️NEXYLAZA UR SO FUCKING SMART AND CREATIVE✨️ UR BRAIN>>>>>> EVERYTHING

GIF Akashi (black hair) is all the people who read the Sagau/Isekai Genshin tag and Bokuto (silver) is STILL ME RANTING ABOUT LANGUAGE IN TEYVAT LMAO

They cant escape me, sorry people who just wanted to read SAGAU normal things, im filling up the tag💀

I HAD OTHER ASKS BEFORE THIS ONE AND AS I GOT THRU EM I WAS "OMMGGGG WE'RE GETTIN CLOSER TO NEXY'SSSS ASSSKKKK EEEEEEE"

YOU ARE A GODDAMN GENIUS

DHALALWKDHDHS

ME ABOUT THIS ASK:

(^ lol biblically accurate deadaquarius)

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGINNNN

BRAINROTTING OVER UR ENTIRE ASK!!

♡

Also, its getting kinda old now, so here is the blunt language v. Teyvat's flowery language post for reference! :)

Hhhhhhhhhhh

IF U WRITE STUFF

AND UR IN WORDY TEYVAT LAND

AINT NO WAY,👏

U COULD EVEN, 👏👏

GET CLOSE👏👏👏

TO THESE BITCHES SPEECH👏👏👏👏

◇

Like,, imagine right now if i told you to write me 4 pages of an essay in entirely early 18th century vernacular.

(For reference: when the story Pride & Prejudice takes place)

... like??

Bitch aint no way u can do that and actually show that to a historian or an actual living person from that time period

and them actually say "wow! An excellently worded 18th century essay!"

💀.

◇

So tying into that whole, "the only simple texts are like literal cunnieform clay tablets or sm shit"

Your writing to them just sounds like if a scribe just copied off what one of those tablets said just onto paper HAHA

And like, if u try and dress it up, it just ends up sounding like its from a slightly later time period

Like if ur casual writing sounds like 1 million years ago, u being flowery sounds like 8-7 thousand years ago u cant win LMAO

◇

Omg ur trying to go to that-

wait whats it called,,fuck i dont know Sumeru good enough yet

The.. HOUSE OF DAENA GOT IT

Yeah so ur thinking "Oh what better way to learn a dialect?/vernacular than reading books by them!"

And u basically snatch Alhaitham at the soonest possible chance to take you there

(Bc when i went in, it was just random lore books everywhere so)

Needless to say you have no clue how this place is organized, so u convince him to direct you to books u can easily read first

Like as close to your speech as possible!! U tell him :)

.

..

...lol

It literally takes like 3 hours to get something readable LMAO

Bc when the poor feeble scribe initially brought you smth he thought was pretty old and close to ur speech, like just first thought,

... It sounded like it was from the middle of the 18th century to you lol

So, with a "hmm" and a squint at the dusty book you'd already given up on

Alhaitham slowly went around the library making a stack of books, dropped them off in front of you... not a single sentence.

...then he made a stack of scrolls...

..nope..

...a stack of stone tablets...

.....getting closer?? it was really weird seeing Shakespearean language carved into stone....

...and then, with a conversation to a second library secretary deeper in the library, past a caged area of shelves to protect them...

...he escorts you behind the restricted section towards the back filled with glass display cases.

(Several of which contain the most ancient looking sets of artifacts you've ever seen)

...Finally, u arrive at a long glass case of several clay tablets.

Half of which sound like they're from the 1910s-20s, and the other, even older half, sounding straight out of the 2000s..

..

....

......

...Good god.

(Good..you??)

These crazy speaking bastard-previously-video-game-characters were right.

...

You are suddenly, viscerally hit with the image of Zhongli's idle, "Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remember, but where are those who share the memory?" 💀

◇

Alhaitham side eyes you,, (he looks,, very interested, yet also kinda concerned??? HIM, CONCERNED????!!!)

"Ahem, the texts before thy Greatest Lord art the eldest- well, perhaps, more appropriately, the eldest and most intact, pieces of written language known to our humankind."

...

....aYOO MAN 😭😭

...Ur just staring at these half cracked, baked clay tablet thingys, full of slang from like 2003-

Alhaitham coughs.

"Uh, thanks. ...Sorry about all the.. trouble with this..."

BRO HOW OLD DOES HE THINK U ARE NOW-

"This task assigned to mine own person was of no trouble to my mind or spirit, Greatest Lord, fret not about it any longer."

And with a sort of shell-shocked atmosphere surrounding both of you, Alhaitham walks off to check out some other restricted books, hovering nearby yet also trying to give u space LOL

Top 10 cursed images: Seeing "Chillax, bro, dude, and weeb" carved into ancient clay tablets that look like they would be part of the Egyptian exhibit back in ur world 💀

◇

You eventually just kind of end up writing a couple pages after studying the writings, going younger and younger (nothing has ever made u feel more powerful...yet also more old..)

You stretch, just as Alhaitham finally has made his own little stack of creaky old books

He seems very curious to read what u wrote, peaking a glance over the top of his book every so often (lol nerd, cute nerd... but NERDDD)

You just offer the academic lunatic what he wants 🙄

"Haha, wanna take a look? Some drafts are... closer than others..."

The scribe immediately puts his book down, not even saving his page,

"I would be honored, Greatest Lord."

Is he excited?? 💀 omfg

U very slowly hand ur most recent practice pages over, he curls his hand under his chin "hmm" ing

...Alhaitham shakes his head

"My..deepest apologizes My Creator, but this still seems, at the earliest, from when papyrus was invented, and not yet even into scrolls..."

OK BUT ALHAITHAM WOULD GENUINELY GIVE NO FUCKS ABT CRITIQING YOU, HE MAY BE MORE POLITE ABT IT BUT EVEN IF U DID MAKE THE WORLD HES GOING FOR IT

KAVEH HAS A HEART ATTACK BC HIS ROOMMATE GOT ONTO GOD LMAO

U let ur head plop on ur pile of papers, srry babe youll never be as fancy as Mr. Darcy 😕

And as ur resting there, contemplating just walking out and finding smth to eat instead- same

Alhaitham picks up another draft.

Except it's your first attempt.

As in, you didn't even try, first attempt.

You just made some bullet point notes or some Bs, in ur regular. modern. language.

Alhaitham knocks his chair over standing up so fast-

(HE GETS SHUSHED BY THE RESTRICTED LIBRARIAN LOL, also another person unafraid to scold God lol)

...he says its a perfect example of the oldest records they've found of writing on the continent, most of which they haven't even translated yet

He asks u to teach him how to read this/speak like this lol

♧

(^^^not my best work but hope yall got smth outta it💀)

I WAS LITERALLY GONNA MAKE A WHOLE POST ON THE NEURODIVERGENT EXPERIENCE OF BEING A GOD IN TEYVAT

ESPECIALLY OF THE LANGUAGE BARRIER VARIETY!!!

THERES JUST

ACK

aCK HDHAKD

SO MUCH

TO SAY

!!!

AHHHHH

OK BUT LIKE

IF WE ACTUALLY TOOK THIS TO THE EXTREME IM IMPLYING IT WOULD BE

LIKE TEYVAT SPEAKS SEVERAL DECADES BEHIND U- MAYBE EVEN ACTUALLY

CLOSE TO PRIDE AND PREJUDICE TIMES SPEECH

THEY WOULD LITERALLY BARELY COMPHREHEND YOU

IMAGINE TRYING TO TALK TO MR. DARCY 😭

THATS LITERALLY ALL OF TEYVAT

JUST

???¿¿?????!!! <- THEM ALL THE TIME

ESP IF UR NEURODIVERGENT

I THINK IT WOULD BE EVEN MORE PROOF FOR THEM TO THINK UR GOD

BC UR BEHAVIOR WOULD BE "OFF" TO THEIR NEUROTYPICAL ASSES,

YOUR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS,

LIKE UR MASKING MAYBE BUT

U CANT KEEP THAT SHIT UP ALL THE TIME-

ESP IN CRAZY ISEKAI CIRCUMSTANCES

AND LIKE-

(ok ill tone it down before i also get shushed)

U used to be a player!!

Which would maybe mean u got rlly comfy playing Genshin all the time!

...like i know im kinda stimming when im gaming (and my natural stim is rocking so yeah no way they wouldnt notice that 💀)

So, since u may be still yknow unconsciously wanting to be comfy (esp around ur mains/team/favs)

U probably have stimmed a little around them, which, not that neurotypicals dont stim, but like

They would notice after awhile

And esp people like Alhaitham, Zhongli, Ningguang, Xiao, Ei, Aether/Lumine, Kaeya, Diluc, Kazuha, Heizou, Shenhe, Kokomi, Sara, Albedo, Dainsleif- !! GASP- !! <- my bbygirl omg i forgot abt u before now im so sorry </3

(once again i have not checked a character list, forgive my sins my readers)

^^^ Are like pretty focused on you/observant, so they'd eventually pick up on it first probably

..

...

....which allsssooo means they're like, collecting all ur neurodivergent thingys lol to compile as EVIDENCE AGAINST YOU AS TO WHY THEY KNOW UR THE CREATOR LMAO

◇

Honestly the biggest factor against u is definitely social interaction,, srry love :/

(if it helps, its bc i know itd be my downfall too thats why thats there ^ 😔)

Mostly bc i have this idea/theory? obervation? that when I especially met Adepti for the first time

Esp ones that werent as close to human society for as long as some others (like think Xiao vs. Ganyu)

And for literally every other non-human people we've met so far in Genshin-

They kinda- they kinda, radiate neurodivergent energy??

Like, they're not adherring to social norms, and not in like a bad way,

But its still rlly obvious (i mean also its probably exaggerated for us as an audience) that theyre not human pretty quickly

coughzhonglicough

COUGHVENTICOUGH-

oh geez wow excuse me, cold weather must be gettin to me- ahem hem-

Anyway, like what Nexy said in the ask,

...

...Yall are all just tiptoing around each other 😭😭

Bc these ppl arent from Earth countries,

All their behavior is weird to you 😭

U dont know how to mask with them yet 😭😭

THE UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT OF MISCOMMUNICATION THAT HAPPENS ALREADY WHEN UR NEUROSPICY VS. NEUROBLAND PPL

IS LIKE, ALMOST WORSE??

Bc they cant even understand ur phrasing bc its so simple 😭😭😭

◇

Tldr: "Being Neurodivergent means ur a god, confirmed." - says all of Teyvat's denizens

◇

NEXYLAZA.

MY BELOVED.

I AM IN LOVE WITH UR BRAIN.

IF I COULD GIVE IT A HUG I WOULD🫂✨️👏👏👏👏

BC I WAS ALREADY LIKE IN THE BACK OF MY MIND LIKE-

*rubs my little rat gremlin hands together*

"hmHmHMMMM BuT wHaT iF mAYbE yOU reMeMbeREd cReATinG TeyVAT, hmHMHMMMMM"

AND FOR VERBALIZING IT WITHIN BLUNT LANGUAGE AU- !!!!!!!

(one of my favs, if u cant tell)

I would (platonically) kiss you right now dude.

Instead I give this:

♡ ily

And also, I AM GOING TO MAKE A WHOLE POST ABOUT THIS-

MAYBE EVEN A FANFIC, OR ONE SHOT AHDHAKFHSKLAAL-

UNTIL NEXT TIME MY BELOVED PARTNER IN CRIME <333

PSPSPSPSsppspspspssss Last Time! CLOSES TOMORROW @1pm CST: VOTE on my 100+ followers celebration POLL :)

Tell me what u wanna see me write about! PSPSPSPSpspspspssss

(U can vote even if ur new! :] )

THANK YOU FOR SUBMITTING THIS ASK

THIS IS A TREASURE OF MINE NOW

GONNA HIDE IT IN MY LITTLE CAVE OF SCREENSHOTTED SAGAU POSTS <333 hehehehehehehehehehe

THIS IS LIKE PT2 TO MY ORIGINAL LANGUAGE POST AHHHHH

NEXY BIG BRAIN ILYSM <3

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza lol ur own ask im a menace sorry

[answrs]

so i love me a good sneasel!ingo fic, don't get me wrong

but also you cannot convince me The Overachieving Pokemons Georg Warden of the Lineaged Nobles of the Cliffs Ingo would not, at a minimum, have at least 1-3 razor claws on his person at any given time. possibly up to 8 or more if he's actively collecting them from distortions. he is well aware of how a sneasler evolves from a sneasel.

what im saying, is, emmet goes to sinnoh, and instead of Wacky Hijinks With Funny Tiny Sneasel Brother Time, is immediately grabbed, hoisted over the shoulder of, and summarily carried off by an 8ft tall extinct sneasel evolution wearing the uniform and shredded jacket of a guy that supposedly should have kicked it several centuries past.* because SOME Legendary That Shall Not Be Named Royally Fucked Up The Instructions On Sending A Human Through Time And Accidentally Made Him A Sneasel (it was Arceus. Arceus Done Fucked It Up. Dialga is legitimately baffled how It managed this sheer level of Fucked Up-edness doing Dialga's like literally One Job instead of just like. consulting it on the matter.)

-

bonus points if Lady Sneasler tagged along. and brings some eggs. which Ingo is pleased as punch over. except then he gets to be absolutely mortified because the people here think they're (biologically) his. I mean. he's absolutely 100% Dad Who Stepped Up™ energy when it comes to caring for the eggs and raising the hatchlings, but that certainly doesn't help in denying the allegations. Also that he can't speak Human but like. mostly the former

(their genetic father is the alpha lucario that inhabits the northern cliffs of the Highlands that border the Icelands. just as like. a side tangent. I forget where I first heard the idea from but Hell Yeah I'll Integrate That Into My Belief Sysytem)

*wait no actually Lady Sneasler would definitely be the one to forcibly abduct this shiny warden outcome she sees just wandering the street. if another noble wanted this one they should've claimed him sooner. Ingo's great with the kids, but there's only so much he can otherwise do in a sneasler body with no opposable thumbs anymore. and as if by divine intervention (much like the previous ingo that appeared for her) this off-brand Ingo just got plopped in her way, so of course she's gonna haul it off back to the new nest!

[spencereidlovesshoes]

hiya i really love your posts, maybe because you haven’t written anything yet. it is my honor to be your first request.

i’m begging you for a spencerreid x pilot!fem!bimbo!plussize!colorblind!vampire!reader

please do it quickly i will be dying soon i’m 84!!!!!!

OMG I love that!! this idea lives rent free in my mind now thank you you old bitch.

15,6 words.

A/N: im a nice person.

AIRPLANE LOVR

"Wheels up in 5!" says Agent Hotchner, but you don’t hear it because you’re on the toilet. Thousands of alerts bombed Y/N’s phone. Penelope was sending her them. She always hated her.

It seems they are going to Thit Island to investigate a murder of a dog. Y/N was really stressed out, because of the team’s behaviour. They are known for their shitty behaviour on board. They commonly unbuckle their seatbelts, walk around the plane, cuddle together and worst of all, they tend to come to Y/N’s cabin and cover her eyes. They think they are funny but there is a high possibility that the plane might crash because of that.

Y/N really despises the members of the team. Especially JJ. Her long blond hair got caught in the engine once and she had to pull her out whilst still piloting the plane. Don’t ask her how she did that.

The only one she didn’t hate was Spencer. His hair could get caught anywhere and she would gladly save him. She watched him through the security cameras when she didn’t feel like paying attention to the road. She especially liked watching him sleep. He was so cute and he didn’t even know about her. Why would he be with someone as a stupid as this pilot!fem!bimbo!plussize!colorblind!vampire!reader?

The team was lined up next to the plane and Y/N was installing the stairs to the plane. No one helped her. In that moment JJ said: "What is she doing here? Who is she? Where am I? Who am I?"

The team seemed to ignore all of her questions. "She is our pilot, don’t you recognise her?" Spencer said. He was the only one who was not a complete asshole to Y/N. "Ok, just do not get close to Spencer," said JJ looking directly into Y/N’s eyes. "JJ, she saved your life last time, don’t you remember?" "I could have done it myself," said JJ and stormed to sit on the plane.

Everything went well and until Morgan sneaked into her cabin and covered her eyes. Y/N yelped and tried to get his hands off of her. He held her head so tightly she started to feel dizzy. Morgan laughed and said "relax babygirl, I just need you to turn the plane around, we found out that Thit Island is on the other side of the globe."

WTF? Y/N thought. I do everything for this team and especially for Spencer. I pay for the gas and they just tell me that we have been going in the wrong direction? I’m not gonna be able to pay the bill this month, I don’t even have a job! I just snuck to the toilet every time and tie up the real pilot. And that is the problem. I don’t know how to turn the plane around. I always just fly in some direction and hope for the best.

"Hello? You seem lost in your thoughts," Morgan said. "OK, just buckle up and hold tight," Y/N said with determination in her eyes. She didn’t even wait for Morgan to sit down and buckle his seatbelt, she just turned the plane upside down.

"I didn’t mean it literally!" Morgan screamed as he hit his head on the ceiling of the plane. Y/N heard mortified screams of the rest of the team. It was like music to her ears. Yes! Spencer thought. She finally stood up to her bullies. He might have broken a leg or two and had a concussion because he was sitting in JJs lap.

They flew their whole flight upside down and Y/N found some random island in Europe to land on. Everyone got out of the plane, excited to see some dead bodies and investigate mysteries, except Spencer, he went to check on Y/N.

"Hey Y/N, are you alright?" Y/N seemed devastated, she was tired from all the blood flowing to her head. "I’m OK, I just have a long night waiting for me. I have to get comfy on this plane." "What do you mean?" Spencer said and a worry wrinkle appeared on his forehead.

"I didn’t pay for any hotel. I don’t have any money left, I spent everything on gas for this trip that took way longer than I anticipated. We are lucky that we survived! We don’t have much gas left. Can you steal some if you see some cars on your way out?"

Spencer looked at her in disbelief. This poor thing was poor. "OK Y/N, let me sing you a lullaby to help you sleep." Y/N was thrilled. She was sure she would not be able to fall asleep next to singing Spencer. She loved him too much for that.

"URURURURURURURURURURURUR" Spencer sang in his soft voice while Y/N slowly fell to the dreamland...

[cipherdragon]

yeah so i got some isat theories

take note i’m only on arc three + i don’t plan to spoil anything for myself SO DONT TELL ME IF IM RIGHT OR WRONG PLEASE <3

i did accidentally check the isat tag on both here and ao3 so i got possible spoilers which influence the headcanons but whatever

if none of this is right feel free to make this an au bahahha

anyway this went from theories to just me rambling lmao

i’m sorry

loop and the king are probably a part of siffrin

“refer to me with the royal we” loop uses they them and jokingly(?) says to use “we”

king literally has sifs hair bruhhhh

“do you remember?” all three are not from vaugarde

the island north of vaugarde people don’t remember its existence. sif cannot recall where he’s from. HMMM…

reoccurring books sif cannot read. refer to island north of vaungard theory

sif uses he they and this may be a stretch but king uses he/him and loop uses they/them so sif took the pronouns in the divorce (not a literal divorce)

so i’m guessing siffrin, once you basically wear the poor guy down from looping 100+ times because you’re trying to make everyone happy, just GIVES UP and goes “yeah let’s freeze my friends in time THATS GONNA MAKE THEM HAPPY FOREEEEVER :D” but he’s too far gone to realize “wait wait wait no no that’s WRONG” (get this man some therapy istg)

also i think sif is aroace or at LEAST just ace. “yeahh i don’t like the idea of doing things with people in that way” in regards of mira saying she doesn’t want to fuck people during her quest-to-learn-what-is-upsetting-the-poor-girl

mirabell is cisgender aromantic asexual. one of the younger ones. doesn’t really give off any exact age but def 20smthn. they all are except for dile and bonbon.

isabeau is gay transgender (he says he “changed” and he doesn’t use his old name. mood lol) (i swear changing is just hrt but better) - prolly mid 20s

odile just doesn’t care what she identifies as (at least this is what it feels like) but i’m pretty sure she’s cis. she’s deffo in her fourties. or late thirties. gonna get wacked in the face with her book for sure.

bonnie is nonbinary (i don’t got much for the kid) prob 11 or 12

siffrin. oh siffrin. he’s a guy, but he could be nonbinary. he’s def ace to me, but in the “haha i make funny sex jokes while ace” way. maybe he feels romantic feelings. maybe he doesn’t. he doesn’t have time to figure that out. it would be funny if sif was 18 but nah sif’s likely 21-23 (idk the legal age for the world of isat. i GUESS it’s 20? or 21) (sif is an adult, that much is obvious.)

loop? loop doesn’t care. they’re whatever you think they are. they’ll laugh if they think your guess is funny, but honestly they just don’t care. “loop is gay” “loop’s a lesbian” “loops a genderqueer asshole who siffrin REALLY wants to punch in the face” loop’s everything and nothing woooo magic star glitter everywhere (sorry) (loop has no age cuz they’re a star)

sif’s not attracted to isa. isa is attracted to sif. poor siffrin hates how he can’t reciprocate isa’s feelings. he’s worried he’ll upset isa by telling him he doesn’t see isabeau that way. he keeps looping over and over to try to get isa to say he loves sif, sif tries to get the courage to say it back, despite it not being true.

and odile slowly figures out sif’s secret about the loops each loop, but they loop back before she can bring it up to sif.

aight i think that’s everything. i got over 30 hours in this game on my switch and i think some of that is a weird glitch because surely i haven’t been playing that much??? i think it managed to keep adding numbers even when my switch was off. hmmmm.

[valentine-writes]

for you!

「 tws + notes: no tws, fluff, not edited, kinda ooc my bad,, im learnin,,, 」

↳ ft. gwen stacy, hobie brown/spider-punk, miguel o'hara/spider-man 2099, miles morales, and pavitr prabhakar

「 gn! reader, can be platonic or romantic <3 」

author's note: obvi strictly platonic for miles, pav, + gwen but like. anyways!! just practicing writing for them becuz otherwise they will be So OOC for everyone's reqz and i literally would die. highkey struggled a bit but i'm tryin y'all!!! ("trying" but this is unedited ASF) ...eveyone look away from my obvious bias for gwen i heart her. i wanna,, also write for more characters eventually,, sooo,, hc reqs,,, hehehe :3 no full ficz,,, yet-

GWEN STACY headcanons:

▸ she doesn't do friends. not really anymore. oh but like. aside from miles, ur also an exception.

your friendship just kinda. happened?? it was a slow process but eventually y'all got close

▸ you supported her in her band endeavours! u know how knives chau rocks the homemade sex bob-omb merch in scott pilgrim vs the world (sorry 4 being a scott pilgrim fan and referencing it. im battling DEMONS.) THATZ U. biggest supporter for realz!! and she appreciates it so so much :,(

▸ she tries to hold u at arms length initially but ends up missing u too much when ur not around :( you've gotten really close to her over time– something neither of you had expected. but having a friend is refreshing for her. she's secretly always just a little anxious about losing you.

one time, in the middle of your developing friendship, she just kinda... dipped. left you on seen, didn't return your calls– you hadn't seen her in a while. but she came back, apologized profusely (through a lot of stumbled sentences and awkward rambles), and then swore never to do it again. you were... conflicted. so you asked her if anything was wrong and she mustered the courage to be vulnerable with you.

you are probably one of the first people in a long time that she'd actually been able to open up to.

▸ sleepovers where u jus stay up and watch slasher films. idk man i just feel this one in my heart. even if ur not particularly fond of horror, gwen is cool abt it if u need to cover ur eyes or hide under a blanket. y'all are practically screaming at the screen whenever the protagonist makes a dumb choice, acting like the characters can actually hear u

"if you go into that FUCKING BASEMENT I SWEAR–"

"nah– she's doing it. watch. WATCH."

"I CANT"

HOBIE BROWN headcanons:

▸ u are NOT calling this guy hobart. the first time u ever called him that Everyone Else was thrown off. like. no. we gonna stick w/ hobie for this one.

you, however, had the funny little idea of shortening his nickname even further. now sometimes– just on occasion– it's bee.

naturally, he's too cool to care abt what he's called, so he doesn't seem to have too many feelings about your overly cutesy nickname for him.

▸ you know any instruments? great. jam sessions with him. you don't? he'll teach you to play guitar. few ppl are given permission to touch His Guitar... but he can afford to make exceptions.

as he's teaching you, his chest collides against ur back a couple times, his hands guiding yours. he'll gently guide your fingers on the fretboard and yeah it's like– maybe not the most efficient way to learn. but whatever. he's pretty good with helping you figure it out.

▸ if you express wanting a piercing, tattoo or wanting to change up your hair (dying it, cutting it, whatever–) he's immediately gonna be like. "yea? ok. bathroom. right now." he'll help you out. king of diy truly.

and hey, the piercings never get infected, the stick and pokes turn out fine, the haircuts never look that bad, and the hair dye doesn't turn out awful so like. win???

supports you in your impulsive choices– piercings can close, diy tattoos fade, hair can grow– but the joy of self expression iz 4eva!!!!

▸ he lets you steal clothes from him. totally will point it out, but won't be all that bothered by it. HE'S GONNA BE TAKING FROM UR CLOSET TOO you practically share a wardrobe at this point. the others slowly become unable to differentiate which clothes you and hobie own individually. even if your wardrobes are completely different– trust he will find a way to keep a small piece of you with him

MIGUEL O'HARA headcanons:

▸ this man is emotionally distant asf. how did you achieve this relationship with him. answer: no clue!!! (｡･･｡) now that ur tight w/ him i am begging you. for the sake of the multiverse. get this man a therapy consultation RIGHT NEOWWW..... they literally have therapy services available in the spider society hq. if you dont HAUL HIS ASS OVER THERE–

▸ it's really no secret miguel has a soft spot for you. though he is very adamant about the fact that he doesn't– most people know that he's a little less grumpy with you around.

you seem to be one of the only people who can actually make him smile. which is. crazy. the first time he ever laughed at a joke you made you just kinda froze and stared at him, wondering if you had just vividly hallucinated miguel being happy. it was a light chuckle, where he kinda,, put his hand over his mouth and looked away. but it was SHOCKINGGG

▸ if you managed to get along with miguel, you're probably also besties with lyla. miguel however does not enjoy this. mainly because you two gang up on him. a lot. aka whenever ur arguing about anything w/ miguel, lyla is more likely to take your side. for funzies!!! she calls you her favourite– and it's like. man. are you getting along with miguel just for his little hologram assistant? i would but im gon shut my mouth on this one

it's funny how easily u two get along. she has officially attached all his bank info to ur online shopping accs and gaming shit. go wild. he'll never know (he finds out.. eventually.)

▸ it's actually really weird how you affect him. and everyone's noticing. he's constantly overworking himself to preserve the safety of the multiverse and when he's not, he's reminiscing on the past- but you give him something that he hasn't had in a while- an actual break. you pull him away from his responsibilities, from the screens he gazes into for so long, and for once he can relax. even if it's just for a minute

MILES MORALES headcanons:

▸ i saw hcs of a friendship w/ miles like gumball and darwin and i literally cannot get it out of my head. y'all r tight like that!!!! itz canon now. considering miles doesn't have a lotta friends (in his universe, at least) he's glad to have you!!! you're probably one of the people he hangs around the most. if you're somewhere, miles is probably somewhere around you too. and if he is not? he's probably just late. spiderman-ing around nyc probably

▸ his parents have really grown to like you too!!! let's assume u dont pull a gwen and address them by their first names. (i love her so much no shade at all but PLEADYUWEGFEHF that was So White of her) miles always has you over to hang out– which usually means you're invited to have dinner with them. his mom especially is always makin sure ur feeling at home and u got enough on ur plate (she is so sweet i adore her)

miles is constantly hearing: "when are they coming over again? you haven't had them over in a while-" rio hearts u. (and i heart rio.)

▸ STREET ART WITH MILES STREET ART WITH MILES– he def taught u what he learned from his uncle aaron. eventually u found a place you two can spray paint 2gether and u go w/ him whenever u need to destress a bit ^_^ it doesn't matter what ur skill level is in art, he's happy to teach you! sometimes, for practice, he'll even draw you!!! and though he hasn't shown you yet,,, he's been comfortable enough w/ you to leave his sketchbook open when you're around

▸ ALSO!! your hangouts probably have a killer soundtrack. u share a collaborative playlist w/ miles and swap recommendations every so often– so whenever ur both 2gether and jus chilling you've got good music 2 blast which is a combo of both ur tastes!!! he probably loves ur music, even if itz something he doesn't typically listen to. it's jus so you.

▸U ARE HIS CANVAS NOW. if u let him, he'll doodle in pen on your arm. he's always so focused, his eyes fixed on your skin as he doodles all over your forearm and hand. his grip is gentle as he turns your arm, tilting it every so often to make sure it looks right. there is no awkward silence, no pressure to make conversation- the quiet shared is comforting.

eventually he runs out of space and blinks up at you,, almost forgetting who he was drawing on. he'll apologize for getting so carried- but his drawings look amazing.

...and then he realized it was permanent marker and immediately doubled his apologizes.

PAVITR PRABHAKAR headcanons:

▸ im going to put this here and i dont know why specifically this came to mind. but never play just dance with him. you will LOSE. one of thse people who don't have to try to win. but he WILL put his 100% in it and eat you UPPPP.

sorry u can't outdo him </3

like bro those moves AREN'T EVEN PART OF THIS DANCE HOW ARE YOU STILL WINNING???

▸ gym bro but not Insane Gym Bro just.... gym bro. will try to get you to workout with him,, but like. cool if you don't wanna! is the most supportive gym buddy to have though. will always encourage you throughout the entire thing and not even just to get you to push through a set- this boy genuinely jus believes in you so much.

▸ he's constantly talking to you about gayatri. he loves his gf sm. if ur one of those people who Don't Like hearing abt other ppls relationships he'll make an attempt to tone it down

but trust he NEVER. EVER. makes you third wheel them. gayatri also will make sure of this- so now... more than often... if you're tryin' to hang with the both of them- THEY BOTH TRY TO PLAY MATCHMAKER FOR YOU.

LIKE. you can't just be LONELY. they're gonna make sure of it. pav and gaytri number one wingmen,..,, women,,, besties

▸ probably texts u like crazy. the type of guy to send u things throughout the day like "this is so you :]" he loves his bestie (YOU!!!)

sometimes it's like,, a particularly interestingly shaped cloud. maybe a cool bug that landed nearby him. a flower growing out of the pavement cracks.

and then sometimes it's like. this.

"this is you."