#gonna be in a room w people i dont know
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gl all on testing T~T
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so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment
#so i explained before that there's 3 venues and on my very first shift they had me doing the restaurant venue for 2 hours#which was FINE like i was a bit cautious bc my manager is VERY stressed all the time and the place generally feels like it's falling apart#not the building itself just. the way it's run like it's just got new owners and the previous manager apparently#EMPTIED THE TILLS AND TRASHED THE PLACE like cost them THOUSANDS of pounds and on top of that#there was beef with the head chef and the new owners that meant he left and took the ENTIRE BACK OF HOUSE WITH HIM#THERE ARE NO KITCHEN STAFF ATM. I HAVE TO LIE AND TELL CUSTOMERS WE DONT HAVE FOOD ATM BC OF 'REFURBISHMENT'#WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE /RESTAURANT/ DOESNT HAVE CHEFS. DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT IS#and then the front of house staff are very lacking aside maybe 2 people we're ALL NEW and all of them EXCEPT ME#LIKE LITERALLY JUST ME IM THE ONLY EXCEPTION. ALL OF THEM ARE UNTRAINED#so when i applied with bar training coffee training and very solid waitressing skills they genuinely treated me like a saviour#like i am FENDING off shifts tbh im in a v good position bc they need me too much to get shitty w me if i refuse hours but i can literally#have as many as i want bc they will just give me them. like they're obsessed w me im rota'd for over 60 hours this week#but anyway that very first shift after 2 hours in the restaurant i then walked to the mini golf venue on the OTHER SIDE OF TOWN#and my manager stayed for 30 MINUTES. IF THAT. and showed me around the place + how to close THEN LEFT ME THERE#FIRST DAY HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND LEFT ME TO RUN AN ENTIRE VENUE. IT'S NOT SMALL EITHER IT'S A WHOLE BAR#AND I HAD TO CLOSE ON MY OWN TOO and ironically the shift itself went rlly well like it was so chill#it was kinda boring but honestly i kinda rated it it's v easy money and the close went perfectly nothing cropped up that i was unsure about#and then. AND THEN. i havent even ranted to my mutuals about this yet bc i was acc so horrified by it but i locked the front doors#and went to lock the gate AND THE KEY GOT STUCK IN THE LOCK. WOULD NOT COME OUT. HELLA VS KEYS ROUND 3927593#my mum even showed up and tried to help me wrestle this thing out i called my manager and he literally told me to just snap it#bc he'd rather a snapped key that NO ONE could get out than just leave it there overnight but bc of my recent house key moment#i was like AM I FUCK SNAPPING THIS KEY. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING. so i had to just leave it and at the time#i was realllyyyyyyyyyy beating myself up but my manager is actually rlly nice he's just stretched v thin#and ive also had time to be like uhh actually they shouldnt have left a random 21 y/o girl alone with the keys on her first day#omg i havent even talked about what happened on saturday. ACTUAL SHAMBLES#LIKE THIS /\/\ ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING! IM RUNNING OUT OF TAG ROOM! IM GONNA REBLOG THIS TONIGHT W MORE PROBABLY!#BC GUESS WHO IS WORKING A CLOSE LATER AT THE NIGHTCLUB THEN OPENING THE RESTAURANT AT 8AM. GUESS#hella slaves to capitalism
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not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
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rereading a book i loved in high school to annotate a copy. remembering why it connected w me so much
#its the miseducation of cameron post btw#i read it literally 3 times in the space of 2mos almost back to back#i brought it on two trips- that was the year we went to austria and the year i went to national music camp#and like. yeah. yeah i guess that was why#smth abt that book just really cuts to the heart of what it was like for me growing up in the church#my church wasnt the wbc or anything ofc but like. they also werent/arent queer affirming and its hard to explain how it hurt me#bc everyone expects a story where someone sits me down and like. threatens to beat me if im gay or whatever#that didnt happen. its just that i figured out by osmosis from this environment that i was wrong and that i should be ashamed#and nobody ever challenged that assertion so it stuck for years afterwards#its like growing up in a house w mold in it youll never really know that its there until youre told but you know smth is hurting you#and by the time you realize what it is its gonna take fucking forever to remove#and thats how it is w cameron! she knows long before shes sent to the camp#i just keep coming back to how everyone who went to nationals w me came back talking abt this amazing spiritual experience they had#and how much it meant to them to be able to go#and all i was thinking was that i didnt make even 1 friend and everyone treated me like i was fucking diseased the entire time#the guys didnt want me around bc i was a girl and the girls didnt want me around bc i wasnt a girl to them#my roommate acted scared of me from day fucking one and i still dont really know why. wouldnt stay in the room w me#i would sit down somewhere in the common area and people physically turned away from me to have their own conversations#i think they knew. i wasnt out at camp ofc but im p sure they knew smth was up w me#levi.txt#idk. i dont have a Trauma to point to but i feel like calling the effects of what the church did to me religious trauma is appropriate#it fucked me up so so bad. i had to work through so much shit and im still not out of it#today im not ashamed of being queer but im still discovering new issues that living like that gave me all the time#ultimately. im ok rn dw just thinking a lot. its a great book im glad to reread it and really analyze it! its fun
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it’s been. a very rough afternoon
#fun to know that even while in the midst of my worst disassociative episode in the past year I can still cobble together a good meme#anyways um. about to tear down literally everything I ever derives joy from in my room and put into storage and never speak more than needed#to my dad. I am. so so tired. every time I think things are looking up and I can relax in my own home something has to happen#and then I need to slowly rebuild any safety I felt beforehand. I hate knowing my stuff was looked through and I dont know to what extent#anyways yeah. yearly deeply oversharing personal post over. gonna go hide literally half of my mortal possessions in a box somewhere#personal#no rblogging etc etc#edit: having another breakdown bear w me#I’ve scraped myself down to nothing for peace in my family I grovel and shut up and bear it fucking all and even then#they have the fucking audacity to ask me more? to put away the few reminders I have of people who love me things I enjoy#and the friendships Ive held onto like a dying man does to water?#they say they care about my mental health and how the devil affects everyone insidiously. I think they should take a long deep look#in the fucking mirror. open their eyes to how fucking close I was to just. giving up while I was suffocating under the veil of religion#and no before anyone asks I’m not gonna do anything stupid. I’m not one to live for spite but I trudge on hoping to get somewhere better.#just gonna have a short cry before bottling it up and dealing w it ten yrs down the road. not gonna go thru another ‘check in’ to lose more#oops forgot my little tag ->#ubb chirps
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I feel like the idea of "forgiveness" for people who've hurt you is like... Pretty christian based? Bc ngl. Why tf am i forgiving someone who abused me a lot. If we're talking "mental peace"... Well bud i kinda just gotta not think about it or when i do to work on my emotions around it so i can cope better with my trauma. Literally why am i forgiving people who dont regret hurting me and who would never apologize and how exactly does that bring more "peace"? Bc personally id feel like im ignoring something that bothers me a lot just so i can tolerate being around it when idk. Theres people who i definitely dont need to tolerate being around lol.
#forgiveness#quote unquote#some of these people would actively continue trying to hurt me if i was still around them and literally wtf is the use#of forgiveness then???#being unfazed by their presence seems to be the better alternative as well as ignoring them..?#or idk. literally fucking leaving the room if they arrive.#'forgiveness' is what christians do towards non christians who fail to fail to be christians. its patronizing. its assumptive.#as if those people are somehow spiritually crying out that theyre sorry. thats how christians are w forgiveness.#how tf is what id be doing if i 'forgive' my abusers any different#its 'forgiveness' with the assumption that some day the person whos hurting you or in this case simply not christian will actually#decide you were right and 'apologize' for going against them#idk about you but i dont want to live in a false reality daydream that my abuser will someday be normal and nice and empathetic#how is that a useful belief at all in the long run. im just convincing myself somethings gonna happen that wont.#i think more ppl should go about the world assuming their abuser doesnt give a fuck and never will bc quite honestly that seems more likely#ive never felt peaceful when i attmept to forgive people knowing inside im still upset with them#however i feel much more peaceful when i embrace the fact they dont care and thus i dont have to care about them either 🤷#like accepting the current facts brings me more relief than speculating on the future.#idk but i kinda refuse to forgive people who dont regret their actions towards me and who dont give af about me#if getting caught up in resentment is the issue... then you need some therapy of sorts to work on the resentment so you can get to a point#where you dont give a fuck if they do apologize. not assume someday like a pretentious asshole that theyll apologize#literally im nowhere near that important to my abusers for them to do that
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hello! have i caught up with you recently? cause i decided to check up and see how you're doing :')
Hii!!!
Ive gotten into comics lately, specifically ones about the second Robin, Jason! Never imagined that. Like. Getting into comics at all. And especially not dc considering I've always been a big marvel and spider-man fan. But I'm having fun! New blorbo and he is a delightful chew toy and dress up doll for me. I've greatly missed having a chew toy blorbo
Ive been trying to work on like, a big ol reference sheet for him of my own design bc I like him lots :] it's gonna be a bit though bc art is hard to work up to do and I keep. Getting distracted by reading more comics so I can have more details. I'm determined to get it done eventually one day though
Ive gotten a clock for my room which I'm pretty excited about!
#The hurricane from a bit ago hit my area and a part of the ceiling got too wet n fell down.#Then people came by and it turns out that ceiling had asbestos in it! we dont know if its in more rooms but we know its not the whole house#I have voted we move#the house and money situation has said no though. So! That's fun I guess#if we move im taking the floor with me#thats the big money coster#the rest of my fnaf room can be redone w a few uninterrupted paychecks. and itll be easier in an unfurnished room#so im not gonna let the loss of it bother me too greatly#potential loss of it#were still not moving unless we win the lottery or something to be real#so other than the new and usual horrors id say im dping pretty well#dressing up as steve raglan for Halloween tbis year :3c#first time with Halloween makeup! very fun
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i cant be upset i literally have cool lighting
#oooh time to brag about my room again. its so epic.#thank you christmas lights i won in at a work party o7 i owe you a lott#ooh my room so epic i need to make a cool reference for it sometime. if only drawing was real.#yayy#its so sad that i dont know where my lighter is T-T i got a new candle with no way to can the le.#sillyposting#anyway back to complaining.#i forgot that. having to take care of yourself also needs to happen when you feel blegh#aka cooking with gas and a hot pot. isnt great for the thinking.#its fine i made nothing food and. ate. which is good ig.#MORE COMPLAINING.#i hate that ive found a wine that is tolerable. because now that i have one that is NOT i am. struggling.#ooh the okay one is like 6.5% which. would explain somethign.#but this one. tastes like rose yep!#im gonna mix it with sprite soon.#oooh at least there is an alcohol win this week.#my brother had people over both yesterday and the day before.#which means he got to introduce me to an amaretto that is. way better than the dissorrono one.#half the % aswell but NOTHING of the aftertaste!!! its really weird but awesomeeee#idk where to get it but. something to look into.#i dont drink often. especially not in public.#ok.#its a shame this one isnt cold. would be wayy better but im too scaredy.#OOH actually i did see some ice in the freezer.#OOOOOOHHHHH waiitittttttt i have icecream!!!! I FORGORR/#ok thats awesome. im having a good night now =w=bbb
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.
#this gonna be the most degen shit ive done in a while but what if i redid mhw..#my old save is totally wiped. i think. since i cant access my old laptops files bc motherboard issue + i DID press start new game so...#like i dont need it... but i do know how to retrieve it if all goes wrong....#but the game is long and i spent 300+ hours on it completing main story and iceborne... and ofc the grind...#and pet hunt which i love.. and oH NO MY PHOTOS??!?! NOOOOO#the biggest loss imo was. i got the really rare jellyfish thing. THEN i quit. and i have the achievement to prove it but like.#id rather have it and be able to see it and the rest of my room and armor nd oH NOO THE LAYERED ARMORS W SPECIAL QUESTS NOOOO#NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i hATED GRINDING SOME OF THOSE. SPECIFICALLY THE WITCHER ONE I THINK#do people still play mhw.. i wouldnt wanna do any of this alone#OHY EAH I GOT THROUGH STORY QUESTS BC PEOPLE WOULD JOINNN if they dont.. sobs#aAAA maybe not then !? ><#44597
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btw i had a dream that some lady came into my house and tried to kill me
#ok basically today theres guys taht are supposed to come to do stuff with the things. in the house. long story#and im supposed to open the door bc im home alone but i dont know when they're coming so yknow#and my brain too that and ran with it#so i wake up late (in dream) and open my door to find a sort of weird reuinion in the hallway. the weird lady is the leader of this whateve#important to note that the thing the actual people coming are doing isnt at all that like nowhere close#idk how but everyone leaves and i let the lady in so she can do whatever. shes a bitch and i think we kind of argue? were in the kitchen an#i get fed up w/ her when she goes in the living room and starts touching things and looking through stuff so i tell her shes leaving now#girl just SPEEDWALks to my room and i follow her#important to know that at this point she doesn't like me. so i follow her and shes facing away from me she's facing the small couch in my#room that's under my loft bed. and i grab at her shirt to be like girl gtfo. like LEAVE my property (not my property im a tenant (my mom is#and she just turns around with a /knife/#it's a knife that actually exists in my house a big ass knife horror movie type my mom uses to cook. and it was in my room for some reason.#and girl starts to try and stab me shes obv bad at it and seems abit too happy to be doing this. i panic#and you know it's a dream. so i can't /scream/.#also because of my weird ass kinks i have imagined a lot what its like to be stabbed and i panic in my dream bc omg help its gonna hurt and#im gonan die and i cant scream#and i wake up. and i legit gasp lmao#anwyays that was unpleasant. i still kind of remember what the lady looked like she had short hair
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my roommate has a date over i think and im 🧍♂️
#he did Not tell me anyone was coming over and i heard them introduce themselves and say nice to meet you#and im very. im so bad w strangers in the house it makes me so uncomfortable and this is. not a secret#i need to pee but i can not make myself leave my room bc there is a Stranger here i cant#if i do i Have to put a bra on first bc otherwise i will spiral but also putting a bra on is gonna make me spiral rn#and i especially dont want to be percieved because it can not go well for me because either theres a weird hostile dynamic bc im perceived#to be a girl Or i have to out myself to someone i dont know and who could have Any reaction to it#so i feel like i simply can not exist right now i feel like i need to stay hidden#like im cool w him dating people idc ab that they can come over just like. i would like to know ahead of time#esp bc like. is she here before they go somewhere else? is she gonna be here all night? like what is happening what should i expect
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why am i LIKE this lmao
#me: i'm lonely and dont know how to make friends. yet when people ask or offer to connect on discord or w/e.#I DONT DO IT. WHY. WHY AM I LIKE THIS. WHY AM I ANXIOUS ABOUT IT.#anyway goodbye i'm gonna go try to clean up the living room a little
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puppy!reader trying to break up with rafe or just distancing herself because she overheard someone saying they couldn’t understand how rafe could be with a pogue and it hurts her feelings and has her overthinking :( (obviously rafe later on gets her to tell him who said that and he deals with it)
꒰ ౨ৎ .ᐟ .ᐣ ᡣ𐭩
he was used to you being all over him. if you weren’t constantly yapping in his ear, you were using him like a climbing frame, subtly rubbing your needy cunt on his leg or trying to stick a body part of his in your mouth. so, the difference in your behaviour all of a sudden was palpable.
you’d been at the country club. not particularly because you liked it there, you knew despite recently joining the kook life people still saw you as less than — but you had to say, the icecream they served was top notch, and you wouldn’t keep yourself away despite being told off plenty of times by rafe for overdoing it on the sugar and then getting hyperactive.
you step away from the counter with your cone, smiling to yourself at the small victory when your ears picks up on a conversation round the corner. you stop in your tracks, realising it’s about you.
“i mean she’s definitely hot, i’ll give him that. in like, a weird way. she’s got the whole ‘fuck me daddy’ thing going on, you know. she’s helpless. rafes gotta be fuckin’ her.” a kook you didn’t even recognise comments, sipping at his beer.
“dont be weird, bro.” another turns his nose up.
“its true! i dont care man, i know rafe — he fuckin’ hates pogues, he wouldn’t be caught dead with one, ‘specially not one as obvious as her. the girls a mess, and mommy and daddy suddenly coming into money ain’t gonna change that about her.”
your heart sinks as you continue to listen to the berating. in the north carolina heat, icecream didn’t stay structurally sound for long — and you’re only dragged out of your eavesdropping session when the dome of strawberry icecream slides straight off its podium, splatting on the floor besides your sandals, leaving you with just the cone in your hand. you stare down at it, barely registering the loss.
you’d overthought it— something rather uncommon of you. when a few hours had passed, and rafe hadn’t had you hurtling through his front door with a ladybug on your finger or something of the sorts, he actually wondered where you might be— so he showed up at your door.
you wasn’t expecting him. he never chased you, always letting you come to him first — but something felt off, and his curiosity got the better of him.
“w—what is this, you not comin’ over to bother me today?” he shakes his head and your brows crease, staring at the eldest cameron in your doorway.
“no…” you reply quietly, even going the extra length to avoid his eyes. you weren’t trying to be obvious about it, but you couldn’t help that you were upset. he stares at you for a moment, unnerved by your unusual mood.
“…well can i come in or what?”
you allow him, purely because despite your mood you didn’t like to be impolite.
“whats up with you? i already told you to stop watchin’ those animal planet documentaries, kid. they upset you, alright i—”
“i wasn’t.” you snap, and he looks over — your tone grabbing his attention from wandering around your living room, seeing you standing in the corner clutching yourself like you didn’t know what to do. you were so used to being all over him that standing by yourself felt odd.
he scratches his cheek awkwardly, eyes flickering over you. “shit, you mad at me or somethin’?”
slowly, you sit down on the couch, tucking your feet beneath you.
“i’m just trying to give you space.”
he huffs a laugh out from his chest, thinking you’re joking — but his smile fades a little when he sees that you’re not. “yeah? you were all over me yesterday, now what — you shy?”
“i’m a pogue.” you raise your voice over his just a tad, bringing your knees to your chest. the statement catches him off guard, and he sways awkwardly on the spot, watching you.
“yeah no shit. so what.” he drawls, and his agreement stings.
“you hate pogues. so… you hate me.” you draw the conclusion and he fights an eyeroll, walking over to where you’re sat briskly.
“listen if i hated you you’d fuckin’ know about it, alright? i don’t hate you. you’re a pain in my ass, but… but nah.” he shakes his head, settling down on the seat next to you and pushing his hair back, not enjoying the idea of being vulnerable. it made him a little uncomfortable. “where… where is this coming from anyways? since when did you give a shit ‘bout all that?”
“since the people at the club were saying stuff.” you mutter, and now he’s really invested. his head snaps towards you, arm freezing in the air from pushing his hair out of his face. he could tolerate the weird moods, but he wouldn’t tolerate people disrespecting you or him.
“huh?”
your lip starts to tremble at the memory, voice growing higher as you speak. “there was a group of boys, and they were saying i was a mess and that im nothing and that you had to be fucking me because that’s the only thing i could offer you and i dropped my icecream and—”
“what?” he turns his whole body towards you as you let out a quiet sob, wide eyes darting between your wet one.
“i dropped my icecream!”
“no— kid, who was saying this shit?” his outrage is somewhat comforting and you sniffle, wiping your snotty nose on the back of your hand.
“i don’t know his name. he had a green shirt on.”
he leans back in his seat for a moment, wiping hands down his face — a little frustrated with your inability to identify the culprits. he pushes his palms into his eyes for a moment, realising it’s not your fault — and you were already upset. sighing out his nose, he looks at you once more, shuffling as close to you as he can.
“quit listenin’ to nobodies at the club, a’ight? you… you think people don’t say shit about me? running their mouth about my private business? they — they do, alright— but what i don’t do is cry about it n’let them think they won. i handle that shit, like i’m gonna handle this.”
you blink at him, hanging onto his every word. you really were adorable, and as much as he’ll never admit it, his heart softens at how sweet you were by nature. you didn’t deserve to be picked on by people that weren’t him.
“how do you know who they are?” you tilt your head, really emulating a puppy and he presses his lips together, shrugging a shoulder and shaking his head.
“uh, you’re gonna point ‘em out next time we go to the club. i’ll… i’ll handle it from there.”
you nod, hating that you’ve caused any kind of conflict at all, eyes drifting towards as you burrow yourself into thoughts of guilt. before you can think too much, rafe grips your jaw — meaning well, but still carrying that boyish roughness. “hey. you’re my girl, alright? i don’t let shit slide.”
he’d never called you his girl before, so instantly — you’re all sniffly smiles, launching at him to clamber onto his lap once more.
꒰ ౨ৎ .ᐟ .ᐣ ᡣ𐭩
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you're like a fallen star [choi soobin]
kinktober 2024 !! summary: your beautiful, beautiful boyfriend has started to glow around you. genre: smut, p with no plot, non-idol au warnings: alien!soobin, tentacle fucking, ab grinding, vaginal penetration, his saliva is an aphrodisiac, dom!soobin, monster cock soobin lol, unprotected sex, cums inside, kinda soft sex, and then it's not, she calls him 'babe' and 'baby, soobin cums a lot, calls reader "baby" and "pretty girl", nipple play word count: 2.8k 🎧 — starboy (the weeknd) + down bad (taylor swift) + baby dont stop (nct u) + collide (justine skye) taglist: @hanhani29 @kissesmellow21 @little-shiny-starr @inkigayocamman @hkplushier @gyustoenails101 @pombeom @bambammtori @miukuui @warren-thedarkangel @juniesstar an: i have no idea what im doing with this
"Soobin?"
"Yes?"
"Do you have makeup on?"
"...No? Why?"
"You look sparkly."
You watch his expression closely and spy a catch in his breath. "W-what?"
Biting your lip with a confused smile, you shrug. "You look like you're glowing."
It was true— his skin had a shining-from-within look to it, like he'd rubbed the liquid from glow sticks all over himself. It was pretty, just unusual.
"I don't— I'm not— I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not glowing, that's crazy."
Soobin isn't meeting your eyes. Looking everywhere in the room but you, you watch his fidgeting increase. It wasn't like he ever sat still, usually a shake of his leg betraying his otherwise unmoving body. But right now, he's doing a lot more than just that. Messing with his fingers, shaking both legs, your boyfriend is a mess.
"Soobin, why are you being so avoidant?" You hum, scooting closer to him on the couch. Sitting in his living room together, you'd been talking normally just a moment before. His new demeanor was out of the blue.
"I'm not, just saying I'm not glowing, that would be ridiculous, right?" He's looking at you with desperation in his eyes, pretty heart-shaped lips pressed together tight.
You press your hand to his cheek, eyes widening when he flinches away from you. "Will you just tell me what the fuck is going on?"
Soobin looks like he might cry. Running a hand through his blonde hair, he huffs out a sigh. "I didn't want you to find out like this, so stupid..."
"Hey..." You graze your thumb over his cheek. "Just tell me, 'kay? Promise it can't be that big of a deal."
"No, no it is, you're gonna think I'm disgusting, gonna leave me, I didn't wanna tell you!"
You stay quiet, only looking at him in a silent plea to tell you whatever the hell was going on.
"I..-" His voice breaks, and he still won't meet your eyes. "'m not a human.."
"Hm? Speak up, babe."
"I'm not a human."
There are actual tears running down his cheeks now, and you're quick to kiss them away. "What do you mean, not a human?" You whisper against his skin, the salt of his tears on your lips.
"I'm not from Earth," Soobin whispers, and only then does he meet your gaze.
"You're fucking with me," you breathe, because there's no way this can be true. He's telling you he's an alien?
"I'm not.. that's why you think I'm "glowing", it's hard to keep the disguise up."
"Disguise?"
"I... don't actually look like this. Or I do, I guess, to a certain extent, but people from my planet glow more the happier they are. I don't usually have a problem with it, but since I met you, I've been slipping up more and more." He gives you a wry smile at this.
"So you're just, like, a human that glows?" You question, and his cheeks tinge pink.
"Yeah, almost..."
"That's so cute. You're like a fallen star!" You laugh as he goes even more red. "What else is different? I wanna know about you, can't believe you didn't tell me sooner!" you exclaim, seated next to him with your cheek on his chest.
Soobin's cheeks flush again. "You're not weirded out?"
"Not at all. I think it's cute, actually. Now I can tell if you're happy with me," you giggle, and he smiles for a moment before pursing his lips out, as if debating to tell you something else. "Oh, spit it out already."
"Alright, um, there's a... reason we haven't had sex. Because of me being an alien."
Your lips part in surprise. That is not what you expected him to say. "Y-yeah? What is it?"
"I'd honestly rather just show you, if I'm being honest?" You can feel his heart pounding, and try to calm his nervous form by pressing gentle kisses up his neck.
"Go ahead and show me, baby, if you're ready?"
Soobin sits up with a slow exhale. Dragging his shirt up and over his head, your own breath hitches. Oh fuck, he was absolutely beautiful, tanned skin and defined muscle, like he was a statue carved by the gods themselves.
He looks at you expectantly, and you bite your lip, eyes stalling on his body before finally making their way back up to him. "You're fucking insane."
He laughs, breathless. You watch some of the tension ease from his body. "In a good way?"
"In a very good way. I might need to back up if you want me to keep my hands to myself."
"You can touch me in a little... if you still want to," he mumbles, and moves to slide his sweatpants off. You'd be lying if you weren't eyeing him at least just a little in those sweats, and what you saw had you more than a little hot under the collar.
"I think I'll still want to, I can't think of anything that would make me not want to touch you.." you giggle slightly, eyes still on him.
Soobin takes a deep breath, and your eyes blow out wide when you see something long, deep purple, and slick-looking slither out from behind him. Then another, and you finally realize what he meant.
Your boyfriend's got two tentacles, long and thick but tapered off towards the end, and you can't help but wonder how they'd feel inside of you. The places they could reach...
You realize you're openly ogling his body, and swallow quickly. "Why the fuck did you think I wouldn't want you anymore?? You're sexy."
The rest of his tension leaves him entirely and he manages a small smile. "Actually? You're not grossed out?"
"Not at all. Quite the opposite, if I'm being honest..." you hum, and you let out a sharp gasp when one of his tentacles meet your bare skin, resting on your thigh. You giggle slightly. "It's cold!"
Soobin relaxes entirely, leaning back to you, and you press a soft kiss to his lips. "Can't believe you thought I wouldn't like this."
He doesn't respond, only nuzzling into your touch, and you smile in content. "Soobin?"
"Hm?"
"You haven't made out with me either."
He laughs softly, doe-eyes looking up at you from where he laid on your lap. "There's a reason for that, too."
"Which is..?"
"What's the word for something that really makes you wanna have sex? Like gets you really horny?"
"An aphrodisiac?"
"Yeah, that. That's what my saliva does."
Your eyes grow wide for what feels like hundredth time in the last 30 minutes. "You have a fucking aphrodisiac in your mouth??"
He nods, and you bite your lip. "Can I test that out?"
"Only if you want me to fuck you..." The way he says it is lighthearted, but it twists your stomach in a way you haven't felt in months.
"Yes please."
He's on you in seconds, skin glowing so bright you squeeze your eyes shut to avoid getting spots in your vision. Lips meeting yours so fast that it takes your breath away, he's running his hands over you, gently, like he's worried he'll break you.
Soobin's tongue finally meets yours for the first time, and you tingle deliciously, moving so you're straddling his waist. You can feel his stomach tensing beneath you with every one of his exhales. "H-how fast does it take to work?" You pant, drool smeared all around your lips.
Right as he's shrugging, you're hit like a fucking truck. Soobin watches as your pupils blow out and your jaw goes slack, and he bites his lip in surprise when you throw yourself back at him.
"Fuck, fuck, touch me please!" you beg, tears glistening in your eyes.
His skin is on yours and he can feel the temperature of your body, skin hot and glistening with sweat at your neck. You, on the other hand, can only feel need. Pure, unadulterated desire. You're already drenching your panties, you can tell, and when his fingers move underneath your waistband and down to your cunt, his eyes go wide.
"Fuck, I think it's working..." Soobin breathes. Middle and ring finger spreading your slick around your pussy, you let out a whine, face falling to his neck.
"You think?" you hiss, rolling your hips against his palm.
"Want me to fuck you?"
"You're being such a bitch, yes I want you to!"
His hands tug your underwear down your thighs in one swift movement. "You're soaked, baby..."
Straddling his waist, your cunt presses against his skin so perfectly that your breath catches painfully in your throat. Rocking your hips against the lines of muscle underneath his skin feels better than you could've possibly imagined— waves of desire for him spike up your limbs at every twitch of your body.
Something cool meets your hip, contrasting distinctly with the heat of your skin, and your eyes widen. One of Soobin's tentacles rests on your body. It pulls you closer to him, hard enough that your swollen clit is flush to his abs.
"Thought you wanted to fuck me... how desperate, must be really working, if you're trying to get off from my abs alone?" His lips are by your ear, cooing soft words while you're only nodding quickly.
"Yes, please, n-need you so bad, now, please?"
Your pathetic, begging tone gets to his head and he's moving to tug his boxers off while one of his tentacles slowly traces your clit. Soobin's lips twitch in a smile when your whole body jolts in response, hips bucking towards what little touch is being supplied. "Be patient, won't you?" You shake your head and he laughs, forehead pressed to yours. "Don't want to hurt you, don't go doing anything too fast, alright?"
You nod again, gaze dipping when his thumbs catch the hem of his sweatpants. Soobin looks up at you again. "This is a little different too... Don't be grossed out, please, I don't think I could handle that.."
"Won't, promise, just let me see? Need you so bad it hurts."
His boxers are off and on the floor in seconds, and your jaw falls slack.
He's big. Long, but on the skinnier side, with a mushroomed head and his tip flushed a shade that's almost purple.
"Is it... okay?" Soobin exhales, eyes meeting you with such tender anticipation that your heart flutters.
"Fuck... better than okay, fucking insane." You reach to stroke him once, and his head rocks back momentarily before snapping back up.
"No. Don't, gon' fuck you good, alright?"
Your breath hitches when his hands grip your hips and pull you down onto him. His tip breaches your entrance, and you have to hold onto him for support, because holy shit, he's so big that you can feel him in your stomach. "S-Soobin, don't, don't move, can't take it right now, give me a— hah— give me a second, p-please?"
Soobin nods. His eyes flutter shut and you're so busy watching the expression on his face when your walls convulse around him that you jump in surprise at the feeling of his tentacle on your nipple. It circles your slowly hardening bud, once, twice, again, while you arch your back into the sensation. Soobin lets out a low groan and you realize you've just inadvertently let him farther inside you.
"Go ahead, move now, need more, fuck, give me more, oh fuck!" And he only smiles cutely at you before fucking his hips up into you so fast that you can hear the smacking sounds of your skin on his.
Every single one of his motions does nothing to quench the thirst your body's developed for him in the past 15 minutes. If anything, it only makes it worse, the way he catches your lips with his again. His palm slips from your waist to your backside, cupping the swell of your ass and dragging you up and down on his cock.
"You're so pretty, so fucking pretty..." you gasp out, noticing the way his glow flickers just a little brighter when you sick back down on him. You cup his face in your hands. "All mine, aren't you?"
"All yours, baby, never want you to leave me... stay forever? Please?"
There are tears sparkling in his eyes, you're surprised to see, and you press a soft kiss to his lips again. "Never, promise."
Something in him snaps at that, and he flips you so you're under him. "That's right, isn't it, fuckin you so good you don't need anyone else, do you?"
His tentacle's playing with the puffy bud of your nipple again, and the whimpers that leave your lips are so embarrassing you cover your mouth with a hand. He frowns at the muffled sound, and his other tentacle moves to drag your hand away. "Don't you dare, wanna hear every sound you're making."
The drag of his cock along your throbbing walls makes fresh tears slide their way down your hot cheeks. But they can't satiate the burn in your stomach that craves him closer, the little voice of a chant in the back of your mind, "more, more, more, more..."
And soon you're whispering it, so fucked out on his cock you can barely breath, and your pretty, pretty boyfriend answers all your prayers. Soobin wraps an arm around your waist and draws you up until your back is flush with his chest. He fucks into you at a pace so brutally animalistic that your mouth is hanging open, tongue hanging out of your mouth like some sort of dog.
"Love you so fucking much, gonna fucking marry you, fuck this pretty pussy every night, how'd you like that?" Soobin sucks splotchy, purpling hickeys along the line of your shoulder, then presses soft kisses to the bruising marks.
"Yes p-please, wan— wan' you all the time, not gon' be able to look at you without remembering..."
He lets out a breath of a laugh, and your walls flutter around him helplessly. His tip is kissing your cervix with every forward rock of his hips— it's driving you fucking crazy. The need for him in your body is as ever prominent in your mind as it was before he was even inside you.
The other of his tentacles dips between your legs to toy with your poor swollen clit. The contact makes your legs jolt, a sudden wave of ecstasy winding tendrils up your limbs, and at every rut of his hips towards your shaking form, you find yourself inching towards your peak.
Hands gripping the cushion in the couch, all that's running through your mind is how good he's making you feel. "Soo— baby, gon' cum, don't stop, please?"
"I'd never stop, love you too much for that, now go ahead, cum all over my cock, pretty girl's done so good..."
And you're spasming under him, fat tears rolling down your face, broken whimpers of "fuck, fuck, fuck!" all that you can manage.
Soobin holds you close throughout your orgasm, whispering reassurances in your ear, and you can't help but notice the way his hips are still rutting towards you with increased desperation. His pace has slowed in order to allow you to recover, but the fervor in which he's fucking you with now is nothing short of frantic.
You fuck yourself back against him to try and edge him off the cliff of his own orgasm, taking note of the way his whole torso tenses against you before his hips stutter, warm cum painting your walls. And it's a lot. Rope after rope of his seed filling you up so good, the noise he lets out is nothing short of pornographic as his body trembles from behind you, hands gripping your waist so tight that it's almost bruising.
The moment his cum meets your cunt, the desperation for him in you leaves your body so fast it's surprising. Oh. That must be how he gets the aphrodisiac to go away...
The two of you lay side-to-side on the couch after he pulls out slowly. The white ring of cum around the base of dick is nothing compared to how much leaks out of your abused cunt. He eyes it with a small smile, then presses his forehead to yours. "So you don't think I'm weird?"
You shake your head, eyes glassy and brain foggy. "Not at all. I think you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life."
Soobin exhales shakily, a small smile tugging the corners of his heart-shaped lips. "Thank god."
His eyes drop again to the way his cum is dripping from your cunt, and the smile turns to more of a smirk. An almost predatory one, that makes your stomach twist.
Lips by your ear, he coos, "So glad, otherwise I would feel a bad about saying that I want to fuck you til you're swollen with my cum, til it's leaking out of you for days after I'm done with you..~"
#tentacle fucking#soobin tentacle kink#txt smut#txt hard hours#txt hard thoughts#soobin hard thoughts#soobin hard hours#soobin smut#txt x you#txt x reader#txt x y/n#kinktober 2024#aduh0308's kinktober#adas hard hours
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Hi! So I just read virgin!hyunjin from you...and...I need more???
Can I request a virgin!felix please!!!
Seven minutes in heaven
Virgin nerd!Felix x Popular!Fem reader
Synopsis: Felix is the school nerd, one night he tries to go to a party and he is forced to play “seven minutes in heaven” with your friends group.
Word count: 1.7k
Warnings: 🔞, mdni, blowjob, losing of virginity, cum eating, riding, vaginal sex, unprotected sex and a little bit of fluff.
Note: virgin Felix is my new religion.
Felix enters the house where the party is taking place. He immediately regrets coming there, and start to walk to the nearest exit, but someone stops him.
It’s Michael, he’s school bully, who drags him in the living room, where a group of people is playing what he thinks is seven minutes in heaven.
You are ready to spin the bottle but Michael, the school dickhead, interrupts the game pushing a guy right next to you.
“He wants to play too” Michael chuckle with a mischievous smirk.
Felix looks visibly uncomfortable but can’t really refuse to join the group.
It’s your turn, you smile spinning the bottle, that after a moment stops on Felix.
Everyone starts to laugh saying your and Felix’s name.
You stand up and watch the boy near you.
One of your friends encourages him to follow you in the walk-in closet and he reluctantly follows you.
Felix hears your friends close the door, locking you two in the closet.
He looks at you, avoiding eye contact as his face grew red.
you look at him “so… what do you want me to do?” you just ask.
Felix shrugs, shaking a little “I- I dont know…” he looks down as he cant even look you in the eyes.
You watch him for a second before speaking again “Mh… you are without doubt a virgin”.
His eyes widens as he starts to deny it “N-no.. i uh…” he lies.
“Sure…”
Felix looks away embarrassed “D-dont say stuff like that” his checks are now of a dark shade of red.
You giggle lightly “how cute, you are a shy ones”
“I- uhh…” he starts to stumble over his words as he looks anywhere except you.
You close the distance and cut him off “You want me to touch you, Felix?”.
He is hyperventilating “I- uhm” He knows the answer but he cant say it, he really can’t.
You smirk, an idea popping in your head as you start to unzip his jeans, lowering them.
He is clearly shocked and embarrassed. He tries to hide himself a little “W-what are you-“ Felix tries to say.
“I’m gonna make you feel good” your gaze is tear between his hardening bulge and his angelic face.
“B-but what if someone hears..?” he looks at the door, his heart beating faster every second.
You just chuckle “they won’t hear anything, don’t worry”.
Felix gulps, blushing but trying to accept it “O-okay” he looks nervous and he IS nervous.
You give a Quick Look at his red face before kneeling in front of him, your hands brushes against the material of his boxers right where is cock is.
He lets out a shaky breath as he couldnt believe what is happening.
You leave a kiss on his bulge before pulling them off “god- Felix you are big- I didn’t expect that”.
He blushes even more “Y-you dont have to say stuff like that..”.
“It’s the truth, I don’t even think I can…take it in my mouth” you chuckle licking his tip, and taking in your hand the base of his dick.
He lets out a breath, covering his mouth to not make any noise.
the moment he covers his mouth you stop and look at him “I want to hear you, Felix, don’t cover your pretty mouth”.
Felix lets out a soft moan as he lets go of his mouth, feeling you licking his entire length.
He lets a gasp out, his face is bright red and his heart beats even faster as he looks at you.
You caress his tip with your thumb, and give him a last look in the eyes, before taking him in your mouth suck him off.
Felix shivers trying to stay quiet “p-please b-be gentle..” as he watches your mouth full of him dick “oh- god”.
He reaches out for something to grab. His thighs shake a bit.
You slow a bit and take his hand moving it in your hair.
Felix holds your hair, trying to grip it gently and when you increase your movements he trembles a little, still gently tugging at your hair; His breathing is heavier and shaky as he tries not to moan and whimpers.
You feel his eyes on you so you look up at him while sucking him.
He lets out a soft moan as you do that “O-oh..” he bites his lip to try to be quiet and trembles a little.
Felix feels his cock throbbing from the pleasure and he knows he is close, his grip on your hair tighten a little.
You slow down your movements, taking him deeper.
He whimpers quietly as he release his seed in your throat, Felix lets out a soft groan and covers his mouth with a hand to not be loud. His breathing is shaky as he relaxes his grip on your hair.
You slowly back down and swallow his cum before speaking “you ok…?”.
He is bright red, trying to catch his breath as his thighs shook “Y-yes.. good” Felix is flustered, still looking at her not knowing what to say.
You stand up, looking at him “ehi- it’s ok, you don’t have to say anything”.
he looks up at her “C-could i..” he stops himself mid sentence, too embarrassed to finish it but when you look at him he takes a deep breath “C-could u.. sit..” he struggles to say it.
Felix finally speaks “C-could you sit on my lap?” he is still embarrassed but he asks it anyway.
“You want me to…sit on your lap?” You try to understand.
“Y-yes..” he is still not able to look her in the eyes.
“Wait- are you asking me to ride you?” You giggle lightly.
Felix turns bright red and nods “I-if you want to..”.
You stare at him for a moment and close the gap between you two, giving him a soft kiss “what about we get out of here and find a more intimate place…?”.
His face turns brighter and he nods “Y-yes please..” he whispers still trying to pull it together.
You guys exit the closet and without saying anything you drag him upstairs.
Felix follows you, still in shock. His heart is still beating like crazy as they enter the room and watches you lock the door.
You look at him smiling “you are so cute, Felix”.
His face turns redder “i- im n- not cute..” he tries to deny it.
“Mh yes sure” you say mocking him “honey, sit on the bed” your voice is soft and comforting.
“O-okay..” he sits down on the bed, still flustered but trying to seem calm.
You straddle on his lap slowly cupping his cheeks.
Felix blushes as she sits on his lap. He gulps, flustered. He doesnt know where to put his hands so they stay on the bed.
“You can touch me, you know that?” You softly laugh.
He gulps and nods “y-yeah..” he slowly reaches out and carefully touches your thighs.
“So cute…” you smile before starting to gently kiss his lips.
He is still nervous but kisses you back, his hands pull you closer as he deepens the kiss.
You bite his bottom lip and cups his cheeks kissing him roughly, while his hands move up to your hips.
“You taste sweet, Felix” you admit blushing a little.
He is going insane “Y-you too..” he kisses you again, holding you closer. He is getting more confident and he is starting to pull your hips a little closer to his own. Trying to get some friction.
Your hands go down freeing his now hard erection from his jeans; He lets out a soft sound into the kiss, surprised by your action and shivers, now his hands are holding your hips tighter.
You start to grind on his dick “have you ever do that?” You ask with anticipation.
Felix shakes his head “N-no.. i have n-never”, you just nod, without wasting time you lift up your tight dress and pull aside your panties “are you sure?”.
His face turns bright red again, his mind is racing. He nods, looking at you with wide eyes.
You sit on him, beginning to slip on his dick “g-god…”.
He moans, holding you tightly “w-wait-wait a moment please” he shivers from pleasure.
After a few moments he gives you a quick nod, and you start moving your hips slowly, trying to take his cock as much as you can.
Felix holds your hips, pulling you closer as he lets himself give in to your beautiful features; Your close eyes and your red lips are gonna make him go crazy, he knows it.
“tell if you want…me to go..d-deeper or f-faster” you say with a moan.
He gulps “Y-yes.. please..” his heart is racing as he talks more confident than before.
You nod and quickly increase your pace; The room is full of your moans and the sounds of wet skin.
Felix groans, gripping your hips so tight his knuckles are turning white as you moan his name, again and again.
He can barely speak “I-i can’t” looking at you, and blushing furiously. His breathing is shaky and his whimpers become soft moans “i-I’m” he grips your hips again, his head falls down as he moans.
You know he is close and before he is able to finish inside your cunt, you slip out of him as he release all of his cum on your stomach.
Felix leans his head against your shoulder, breathing heavy as he finished “s-sorry..” he doesnt move from his vulnerable spot against you.
You are trying to catch your breath “it’s- it’s ok, don’t worry” you say pulling him closer; He holds your back and relaxes, his body pressed up against yours as he holds onto you.
After a few moments you look at him and quickly give him a kiss on his forehead “you did so well, honey”.
Felix cant stop blushing “I- i dont know a lot about this..” he doesnt really know what to say, his heart is still beating fast “-so i guess that i dont really know what u liked or anything..”.
“Ehi- I promise you did so good”.
His anxiety reduces a little as he calms down “o- okay..” he moves a little closer to you, relaxing a bit.
You are lost in the thoughts of him “I was thinking…can I have your number?” You speak looking at him.
Taglist: @felixleftchickennugget @kiwininja35 @sweetpickledjins @slmnheart @elqivxstxr @catffeinexo-xx @multistancheck @justwonder113 @mylittleponeypinkrosieposie @hello-stranger24 @raptorbait529 @cocofia143 @minniesverse
(Comment to be added to the wish list🎐)
#skz smut#stray kids smut#stray kids#skz fanfic#felix fanfic#felix smut#felix x reader#felix#skz felix#skz x reader#skz stay#skz#skz fluff#stray kids x y/n#stray kids fanfic#stray kids x reader#felix x you#felix x y/n
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yeah, you're onto something here. i went on a rant in the tags but heres the stuff related to this:
a jon and chrissy friendship would be so awkward and so tragic oh my god. jon would see chrissy filled with fear & see will, his brother who's forever away. he abandoned his family, and now chrissy too. maybe she wouldn't have died if he went to california.
i think there would be a lot of guilt in the Byers family if this happened. Joyce because she wanted out of Hawkins, but she should've waited until Jon graduated to move so he wouldnt have to choose. Now her son is stuck in that town alone. Jonathan because he chose to finish high school at Hawkins, abandoning them after the pain of Starcourt. Will because if he hadn't been kidnapped and possessed, mom wouldn't have felt the need to move and jon wouldnt have had to choose. El is exempt bc she's new to the Byers, and grieving her dad.
also we wouldn't have had lucas being given shit by mike and dustin for joining basketball. Jon would not give two shits aout lucas liking sports and his music. even if Steve and Jon are jealous of each other right now, they would avoid bringing the party into it like the plague. and they would have good moments before everything officially goes to shit.
and speaking of Steve, the "you're a good person actually" talk would be way more impactful from Jonathan. given their history and how steve treated jon in s1, it would be an even bigger moment. and steve would probably give credit of his change to jon, the whole "thump on the head to get him going the right way" thing. which would impact jon, who feels like he's been abandoning everyone.
Sorry to be a hater for a second but st4 truly was so foul. Imagine them trying to convince us the Scooby teen gang included EDDIE while Jonathan was just some other random guy…….. and people bought into it……….
#you unlocked thoughts i didnt know i had and i dont really know how to articulate them or how i feel about it.#like 1) the duffers didnt know how to write jon bc he was nancy's sidekick to them for about 2 seasons#so they just decided his thing was gonna be weed jokes & ldr angst; both of which were mostly sold by heaton & franco's comedic acting#speaking of carrying a role 2) script eddie was bland. quinn ad-libbed most of what made eddie fun. there was room to make that jon instead#god i should make this its own post but im in too deep now#third & my big gripe. st has too many characters. i understand not wanting to kill the main characters off but stop adding more.#max and billy were great but we didnt need murray to stay and kali's been retconned. robins great but susie's a punchline#and i love erica but i think she was mostly used as a sassy Black girl stereotype. it'd be more cohesive if it was a party member there#then there's s4's plethora of new characters. oh and some people arent dead now. like joyce & el reuniting w/ hopper was nice ig#but what if their grief was explored like max's was? what if we saw joyce mirror her s1 self when el is kidnapped? that would be awesome#st#this sat in my drafts for a bit but here it is
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